#hated him from the moment he hit the screen in season 1

[kiwisa]

genesis ✩ the harpy

F1 Grid x Fem! F1 Driver! OC

fluff, angst • 5,500 words • series' masterlist

IN WHICH... astrée makes her debut on the track and proceeds to also make history.

Like many other stories, it all started with a mistake. 

✩ March 28, 2021

“Latifi crashed after taking Bahrain’s tightest corner too fast! He lost control of his rear axle which sent the rest of the car in a violent spin! And — oh god — he just hit the wall!”

...

“For the moment, no news from Latifi. The red flag has been raised.”

...

... 

“The drivers are gradually returning to the pits while the rescue services are still trying to get the number 6 out of his car. The car was, one could say, literally smashed to pieces after having rolled over a dozen times.”

...

...

...

“According to what I'm told in my earpiece, Latifi is unconscious but breathing. His vital prognosis is not engaged. The race will resume.”

...

“Will the Canadian driver be fit to compete in the Emilia Romagna Grand Prix, which will take place from 16 to 18 April?”

✩ April 2, 2021

And then fell the verdict. 

NICHOLAS LATIFI WITHDRAWN FROM THE 2021 F1 SEASON FOLLOWING HIS ACCIDENT IN BAHRAIN

Astrée watched all this from her flat in Paris, far from the scene of the accident. After the chaos the announcement of her inclusion in the category had been, Williams, its tail between its legs, had decided not to show her on Bahrain’s paddock. 

“We'd rather wait until the storm has calmed down,” came the lame excuse from a communications guy whose name escaped her. Probably Jack or Harry. Some shit like that. 

Thus, far from the warmth of Bahrain, Astrée, like all the other fans, was reduced to a spectator. The tone on how she would be treated during the season seemed to be set.

So, because it was not yet time to show them her true personality, she quietly observed all this panic from the screen of her television: the continuous news, the imprecise answers of the commentators, the worries of the fans, as much for Latifi as for Williams' future. Because after all, everyone knew what that future would look like. There was no uncertainty about it, and that was precisely what the chauvinistic fans feared.

LATIFI'S BAHRAIN ACCIDENT MARKS ASTRÉE IRAKLIDIS' HISTORICAL F1 DEBUT WITH WILLIAMS

To see her come along and disturb what they knew – the male-bondage that the Frenchwoman had broken through – terrified those misogynistic assholes. The tweets spoke for themselves. Astrée had not yet appeared on the paddock and people were already hating her. She almost enjoyed this, laughing heartily at their mediocre insults, at their fear that she almost fed off. 

How she loved to see men cry. There was nothing more beautiful. 

The radical decision to end Nicholas's season sent shockwaves around the world, not so much for the health of the pilot as for the fear of who would replace him. 

Jost Capito's confirmation that “yes, Iraklidis will be in the second Williams car at the Emilia Romagna Grand Prix” was enough to finish off the last survivors of what many on social media nicknamed “The Williams disaster.”

With her eyes fixed on her phone screen, her eyes fixed on her future, Astrée gloated. This accident was the chance of a lifetime: hers. 

She was being offered a year on a silver platter to prove herself and secure a permanent place in this closed Formula 1 clan. Because one thing was certain, Astrée Iraklidis would not remain a reserve driver for another year. At the mere thought of this title, she scoffed. The woman was better than some of those so-called first drivers but, because she had breasts, she was relegated to the background. 

Women were never taken seriously, even though they were just as capable – even more so sometimes – than men. All her life, Astrée had to face these prejudices. Even in 2021, she was still a victim of it. The world would not change. 

“Be a stand-in and shut up,” that is what she had been told, word for word, when she signed that cursed contract. A one-year contract. Renewable, of course, but Astrée knew perfectly well that she was just a publicity stunt, a new toy for the media to play with. Williams would not renew this contract. She knew that for a fact. It was as if her entry into Formula 1 had only been possible because they had first made sure she would leave it just as soon. 

 “All eyes are now on Astrée Iraklidis,” the nasal voice of the sports channel presenter gave her a headache. “A woman in F1 is almost unheard of. I'm curious to see how she will do in the big league. It's bound to be a change for her. It's a far cry from her karting days or Formula 2. If she manages to land herself in P20 instead of a DNF, that will be an achievement on itself. She'll–”

Her knuckles turned white as her fist clenched against the remote control, which she restrained herself from sending into the wall. 

She had no choice. If Astrée wanted to stay, she had to win. Fortunately, that was her speciality, and these nineteen men would soon understand that, as others before them – in karting, in Formula 4, in Formula 2 – had done, by dint of repeated humiliations and podiums stolen by a "weak woman." 

The taste of victory was even more delicious, sweetened by the karma that always knew how to deal with men who were a little too sure of themselves. 

Her phone rang for two seconds. An employee – she didn't know his first name either, he was simply registered as “CM dude” in her contacts – asked her to react to the news. She posted a simple tweet that said, “You can count on me to do everything I can to bring Williams to victory.” The first responses called her a “whore.” Others told her to crash at the first corner. The usual, which was no less bitter. 

Astrée locked her phone, her jaw clenched, determined to make her words a reality and, above all, to make them eat theirs. 

Her parents had always told her: “you will do great things, Étoile.” And the Greeks were never wrong when it came to prophecies. It was time to make it come true. 

The brunette stood up and, deliberately ignoring the clock in her office which read 11.30PM, switched on her simulator before selecting the Imola circuit. Her fingers wiggled alone ⏤ as if they had a mind of their own ⏤ and tapped on the gears. First, second, third... Soon the woman fell into a trance that could only be triggered by racing: slowing down at the sadly infamous Tamburello corner, starting again, overtaking, never giving in to the pressure of the opponent, not flinching at the Rivazza, winning. 

It was April 2. D-16. 

Astrée pressed “restart the race.” The clock already read twelve past one. 

✩ April 5, 2021

Then came the first practice. 

With an umbrella in her left hand and her helmet tucked under her right arm, Astrée cursed the English weather almost as much as she cursed the fact that she was in the middle of buttfuck nowhere. 

It was D-13 and the first practice in real condition would occur on a – very – wet track. She could see from here the large puddles that dotted the training track in a patchwork of elements – between earth and water – that made her cringe. 

Astrée was not afraid – she never was. On the contrary, she even found that the rain always added a welcomed challenge. However, it was obvious that she would have preferred to test the limits of her car in dry tires before putting it on full wet blue tyres. 

Since signing her contract, the woman had obviously trained in real conditions, ready to step in if she was needed during the first race. But, as Imola was approaching, the pressure was increasing and so were the demands of the team.

Astrée nearly burst out laughing at this. She refrained from pointing out the nerve of Williams to put so much pressure on her when Latifi had not won any points in 17 races the previous season. 

The record to beat was literally zero. 

She did not know if she should laugh or cry. 

Astrée did not want to think about whether Nicholas Latifi had been put under as much pressure or if it was something that was reserved just for her. 

A hand came to rest on her shoulder. She looked at it in dismay before glaring at whoever had dared to do this. John – or was it Harry? (she still hadn't resolved the dilemma) – immediately withdrew his hand and apologised. 

He had been awkwardly reassuring her for a good quarter of an hour, ever since she'd let out a big sigh at the sight of the soaked track.

“It's okay, Astrée. You'll just have to be a little less abrupt in the corners, otherwise you'll –”

“I know how the car works, John. Thank you.”

“My name is Adam.”

“Oh.”

Shit, she gritted her teeth, neither of them then. Without a word, the woman got into the car – fucking awkward, she thought – and closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying that first feeling in her single-seater. 

This is it. 

"So, how do you feel?" a new voice to her right startled her. 

George Russell looked at his teammate with a rather creepy smile ⏤ a good intention of course, just poorly executed. She returned the gesture, although hers was somewhat tense. Astrée had never been good with strangers. 

They hadn't met yet. Or at least, not spoken. A handshake when she signed her contract, two or three words of courtesy exchanged during the inaugural photoshoots, and an almost obligatory follow back on Instagram: their interactions had stopped at that. 

“More enjoyable now that it's mine.”

Hers. Her car. Her place in Formula One. The 10-year-old Astrée would probably be crying. The 21-year-old Astrée just nodded in approbation. 

Don't show your emotions, they'll think you're weak, her father's voice echoed in her head like a mantra.  

“You can go now, Astrée,” Jo– Adam told her. “Elijah is ready.”

The only name she had remembered, the only name that mattered to her: her engineer's, her second conscience. 

"Radio check, Astrée, do you copy?”

“Copy.”

“Great. Whenever you're ready.”

Inhale. Exhale. The void. The tar. The car. The corners. Nothing else. A roar echoed through the silent track and rekindled the flame in her heart. Birds that had been perched on the edge of the pit flew away as the engine purred. Immediately, she exited the garage and zig-zagged down the track to warm up her new tyres. 

“We'll do two warm-up laps to be safe.”

Taking advantage of being alone on the track, Astrée braked sharply, feeling the rear end take off, and accelerated again to see how well the tyres gripped, how responsive the steering system was, and the overall handling of the car. 

“Just warm up your tyres for now.”

“I want to see their limits when they are still cold.”

“Copy. Just be careful.” 

The first two laps alternated between zigzags, braking, accelerations, and corners taken too short or too wide. When the third lap finally began, already a little more comfortable with her car and her tyres – now warm –, the driver let the pleasure dominate everything else, so that she did not see the laps go by, nor the turns follow each other. Soon Elijah's voice signalled the end of practice. 

“Box.”

“Copy.” 

When she got out of the car, her legs shaking, a dozen people rushed to share their first impressions of her driving. They had already seen her drive in many other tests as a reserve driver. They had witnessed it, but had they bothered to pay attention at it on those occasions, when she was only the reserve driver, the product of a marketing stunt? 

“It was better than I imagined!”

“That's pretty good for a woman.”

She took these half-hearted comments without complaining, reluctant to make enemies within her own team, but thanked her helmet, still pressed down on her head, which hid her dark expression. 

Soon, in the midst of this group, a figure stood out and stepped forward. George, his own helmet in hand, ready to go for a series of laps himself, reached out for hers with the other one in a symbolic gesture: “It will be a pleasure to be on the same team.”

Astrée was careful not to share her opinion – quite different from his – and shook the dark-haired man’s hand, with the same tight smile on her face. He may have been her teammate, but on the track, they were – above all – opponents. She couldn't forget that, as she had never been able to in the past. Her journey in motorsports had been a lonely one because of her competitive spirit, and it would continue to be so for the rest of her life. 

“Likewise.”

✩ April 16, 2021

On her first real day on the paddock, Astrée had to face her worst nightmare: media day. Wearing the compulsory mask – a sort of protective barrier for the introvert she was – reassured her a little but did not totally calm her racing heart, nor her annoyance. Because Astrée knew, she knew exactly what kind of questions she was going to be asked. 

Journalists had the rather impressive capacity of never renewing themselves and having the same ideas. If the human brain normally sought to distinguish itself from others, the journalist's brain thrived for lack of creativity and repetition. From karting to Formula 2, everyone had had the same annoying questions for her. A routine of boredom that had a knack for annoying and sending her into despair. 

Her doubts were soon confirmed. 

“Not too scared?”

“What kind of underwear are you wearing right now?”

“How does it feel to have George Russell as a teammate? He is rather handsome, isn’t he?”

Beside her, because all the segments were done as pairs today, the aforementioned George was trying to calm things down, defuse the question or just change the subject altogether. At one point, he even held back her fist when it almost – voluntarily – came into contact with the cheek of an old pervert, who had made a remark about her tight suit. 

Astrée appreciated the gesture – she didn't want to be called hysterical on her first day – and let him know when, finally, the line "interviews" was crossed off their to-do list.

“Thank you for holding me back. It's bad enough no one likes me, I think it would have made things worse.”

“Yeah, no problem.” There was a rather awkward pause as they both walked towards Williams’s garage, the crunch of their footsteps on the tarmac their only melody. Finally, George decided to go on, unable to bear the heavy silence. "I mean… If I could, I would have hit him myself. Don't listen to them, okay? All those... people? assholes? whatever,” he gestured vaguely with his arm at her haters. “They’re not worth it. You drive a Formula 1 car and they don't. In the end, you're the winner.”

Astrée decided at that precise moment that George was perhaps worth it. He had not, after all, made any remark about her gender, nor had he let her eyes wander lower than necessary: two criteria – low, certainly, but the standards had to be revised downwards – that would have seriously hindered her wish to maintain a semblance of friendship. 

If her loneliness in Formula 2 was mostly explained by her introverted personality, many deliberate choices had put an end to any hope of creating links with others within the championship. Astrée had been treated as an object of desire and fragility by many of her teammates. Voluntary isolation had been the wisest decision to make, especially if she didn't want to be penalized or excluded for assault and battery against another driver. 

George, on the other hand, had treated her as an equal – which she was, but then again, the bar was at the lowest – which already set him apart from every other driver she'd encountered in her career. 

“Would you like to eat something? I could introduce you to some of the guys.”

Astrée winced, reluctant to be thrown into the lion's den so quickly. The lion being a dozen boys who would look at her as the latest attraction or as the enemy to be shot. Take your pick. 

“I promise you they're nice,” George reassured her, seeing her reluctance very clearly. 

“I don't doubt it.”

The woman especially hated the nicey-nicey spirit almost imposed by the new generation. She wasn't in F1 to make friends, just to win. George would be the exception to that, she decided. Surely her choice was encouraged by the fact that he was not really a threat to her. 

Astrée had researched all the pilots, mainly their point totals. It was a way to give her a quick statistical overview of what she had already deduced from her viewing of each race. Thus, she knew that last season George Russell had come away with 4 points, failing to stand out from the rest. 

That was already four points higher than Latifi, she couldn't help but think, a mocking smile on her face. 

“We’re here,” her teammate's voice brought her back to reality. 

The moment they walked through the door, a collegiate atmosphere engulfed them. Laughter, conversation, the smell of coffee and the sound of spoons banging on cups immediately gave her a headache. 

A glance at the clock on her phone. 9AM. An hour before the first free practice. She could allow herself a croissant or an apple, but no coffee. Throwing up during her first real F1 race would not make a good impression. No doubt about that. 

"George, over here mate!"

Lando Norris had been the one shouting: an orange blob in the middle of the black-clad staff. Beside him were Pierre Gasly and Daniel Ricciardo. All eyes turned to the newcomers and Astrée felt like dying at that very moment. 

So much for discretion. 

George grabbed her by the upper arm and dragged her – against her will, mind you – towards the trio who were too noisy for her taste. It was far too early to have that much energy, or had they taken too much coffee? 

“Nice to meet you, I'm Lando! This is Daniel and Pierre, whom you might know. You're both French.”

She restrained herself from saying that sharing a nationality with someone could not guarantee an acquaintance.

Of course, Astrée and Pierre had crossed paths before, at the FFSA Academy in Le Mans in particular, but always from a distance. He probably had better things to do than talk to a ten-year-old girl. 

“I know who you are, thank you.” The woman smiled, hoping that this one didn't look too fake. “Astrée Iraklidis, nice to meet you.”

Not really. In an hour, Twitter will ship me with one of you three.

“We know who you are,” Daniel laughed. “I don’t know if you noticed but you’re the talk of the town since you were announced as a reserve driver, but hey, you're not that anymore. Congratulations, by the way, and welcome to Formula One!”

“Thanks!” she smiled, frankly this time, always happy to be reminded of her achievement.

“The interviews weren't too annoying? It's bad enough that we get crappy questions, it must have been worse for you,” asked Pierre. 

“Well,” Astrée shrugged, “they just asked me what panties I was going to wear under my suit. You know, the usual.”

The three pilots winced as George sighed at the memory of the old man. Maybe he should have let her hit him. 

“Why don't they ask me that?” Lando complained. “I've invested in Calvin Kleins. With the price I paid for them, I’ll show them off in a heartbeat.”

Astrée laughed – to her great surprise – which she tried to hide by clearing her throat, but the four men saw right through her and smiled. 

It was obvious to them that the woman was reluctant to bond. 

In the WhatsApp group they all had – which she had yet to be added in – Sebastian Vettel had emphasised the importance of making her feel welcome and comfortable on the paddock. Since they were the same age, Lando had been given the task of breaking through the shell that surrounded her. 

The speed with which her face fell back into a neutral expression told him that this would be no easy task. 

“If you have a problem,” Daniel smiled at her, “you can come to me anytime.” 

“And if you get tired of speaking English, je suis là,” added Pierre. 

Before the woman could respond, George butted in.

“I'm sorry to interrupt, but we've been asked to return to the garage, Astrée. We have to get ready. It's nearly ten o'clock.”

The two of them said goodbye to the trio – who also decided to leave, seeming to remember that they too were expected somewhere – and went back to Williams’ to change. 

As she closed her white and blue jumpsuit up to her neck with one hand – a difficult task to execute with a helmet under her arm – the Englishman called out to her and asked her what she thought of the three drivers. 

“They are nice. It's hard to form an opinion. We only talked for a few minutes. But Daniel is very… sunshin-ey.”

She left it at that, her mind already focused on the free practice session. 

These went without a hitch. Astrée chose not to fully display her capacity, to even appear clumsy, taking some turns much too wide while still pushing the car to its limits so that the mechanics could make modifications if necessary. Elijah asked her what was going on – why was she driving like that when the practices in England had gone perfectly well? – but she didn't answer, knowing full well that all their communications were recorded, and sometimes even broadcasted live.

Make them think you are impressionable and fragile. They'll underestimate you and be more distracted, her mother had once told her, a wise piece of advice she was now following to the letter. It had worked in Formula 2, there was no reason why it couldn't work in the top category. 

To win, you had to know how to use all possible means. The other drivers’ internalized misogyny was one of the most effective tools. 

When she got out of her car, leaving the engineers and mechanics to do their job once she had given them her impressions – in particular on a problem on the left side of the front suspension – Astrée winced, already feeling the stress rise in her throat and roll up into an impossible-to-dislodge ball. 

In the garage, she put her helmet on the table intended for that purpose. As soon as that was done, the woman unzipped her suit and tied it around her waist, wanting at all costs to free her neck, which was already under strain from her growing anxiety. 

“I'm going to stretch my legs,” she signalled to Adam – she had finally remembered his name. 

Glances burnt the back of her head, but Astrée ignored them. In the midst of the constant hubbub of the paddock, between the cameras, team members, drivers, assistants and guests, she blended in and was forgotten for a while.  

Whispers tickled her ears as she passed by some of the journalists. 

“Astrée Iraklidis was disappointing during the free practices. If we don't ask the pilots to bring out the heavy artillery during these four hours, we ask them to have a minimum of knowledge on what they are doing. The number 95 didn't manage to show this.”

And then, that question. Always the same.

"Should women drive in F1?”

She deliberately scoffed loudly as she passed by the idiot who asked that. This had the desired effect as the journalist stammered. Not even his mask could hide his cheeks, which were flushed with embarrassment. A sly smile stretched her lips. Good. 

“Astrée! Hey! I believe we haven't talked yet?”

She turned around and almost collided with this stranger – a familiar one – much too close for her taste. Taking her step back, she immediately recognised the newcomer. The Dutch accent was quite a clue. 

Max Verstappen. 214 points last season. 3rd in the championship. A threat. Maybe even the worst of all. She was immediately suspicious. This reflected in her tense shoulders and calculating eyes. If the Dutchman noticed, he pretended not to. 

“Max, nice to meet you.” He shook her hand with great gusto and immediately began to speak again. His gestures and words followed each other at the same speed as he drove. Astrée felt dizzy. “I saw your free practice. I must say I'm a little disappointed because I've been watching your races since they announced your arrival. But it must be stage fright.”

“Probably.” 

“I think you could make up for it by accelerating more and playing with the gears a little.”

On Twitter, everyone was constantly talking about “maxplaining.” The woman didn't think she'd have to pay the price so soon, and on her own performance on top of that. 

“You could try to play more on the inside. In fact, for example, in the third turn, you took it much too wide, which made you lose a lot of time. And then...” The rest of his explanation soon became background noise.

He continued to follow her, not understanding that she was walking faster to lose him. 

God, give me the strength. 

“I'll do all that,” she finally cut him off. “Thank you for the valuable advice.”

He grinned brightly at her. 

For a man whose harsh attitude was a trademark, he didn't quite understand sarcasm. 

✩ April 17, 2021  

And then there was the adrenalin of qualifying, lulled by the voices of the commentators who paid special attention to her every move. 

... 

“All eyes are on number 95, of course! This is a historic moment, ladies and gentlemen. For the first time, a woman is taking part in the F1 World Championship!”

...

...

...

“The Williams driver's debut seems rather complicated. She’ll have to realize we're not in F2 anymore if she wants a good place on the starting grid!”

...

...

“Astrée advances in Q2, but it is clear the Frenchwoman seems to have some difficulties to find her marks.”

...

“Look at this! Iraklidis seems to systematically take her corners too wide, which makes her lose valuable time. Is she trying to save energy and preserve her car for the race? Or is it simply a lack of skill?”

...

...

“Astrée will not advance to Q3. It's a P11 for the Frenchwoman. Already very impressive for a first race, but it's still far from the capacities that Williams had made us hope for.”

Over the radio, Elijah's sizzling voice tried to reassure her: “If you don't get a point in the first race, it's not bad, it's even normal. Don't worry.”

“Oh, I'm not worried.” You could almost hear her smile. “P11 is fine. You have to give them a head start. It's not as much fun otherwise.”

This sentence was broadcasted live. Insults rained on Twitter. She ignored them all, high on adrenaline and confidence. 

She was going to show them that women could and should drive in F1.  

✩ April 18, 2021, 3PM. 

Blackout. Just flashes: the warm-up lap, the zigzags, left right, left right, her heart speeding up, the lights turning green. 

The first acceleration. 

Take advantage of the confusion during the first corner. 

The total absence of hesitation. 

The Tamburello, taken tightly. Three places already won. 

The routine that sets in.

The fear of all other drivers. 

The laps, one after the other. 

The nonstop overtaking. 

“Astrée Iraklidis seems to have woken up! It's like we’re witnessing a different driver. Look how fast this Williams is going! Was her hesitant attitude during qualifying just a decoy? It sure seems like it.”

…

…

“22 laps! 41 more to go!”

…

“Box,” said Elijah. “Tyre change.”

“Copy.”

...

“It seems that Williams has chosen to favour the undercut. If Astrée risks losing time and places, she will get them back when the drivers in front of her also have to pit.”

...

“The Williams pit crew was very effective on the stop. It’s as if the whole team is riding on the adrenaline that Iraklidis' performance triggers!”

...

...

“George is DNF. He crashed with Bottas.” Elijah informed her. “You're on your own. Only 33 laps left.”

“Merde! Okay, copy.”

...

...

...

“And now Iraklidis overtakes the two Ferraris in a stroke! What's going on?” The commentator laughed in glee. “Williams is putting on a great show, as Verstappen and Hamilton continue their fierce battle!”

...

“The Williams is one place away from the podium! Only Lando Norris stands as a barrier between her and her goal. Will she succeed?”

...

“Incredible! Iraklidis overtakes Norris in the very tight Tosa! It's clear that the new driver is not afraid of doing what must be done. It was a very risky move, especially with worn-out tyres and less grip. But the risk paid off! Now the number 95 will have to defend her position for ten laps and maybe – maybe! – chase an even higher standing!”

...

... 

...

“Only 5 laps to go and Iraklidis is still third! Four seconds ahead of Norris who seems to have been destabilised by his fall in the standings! Verstappen, on the other hand, seems untouchable with his 20 second lead over Hamilton!”

...

...

And then, the liberation. 

“Max Verstappen wins the Emilia Romagna Grand Prix! Hamilton takes 2nd place while Iraklidis closes the podium! The first woman to do so! This is a historic moment, ladies and gentlemen!”

✩ April 18, 2021, 6PM. 

Finally, there was the podium, without its famous cooldown room and with a mask on.

They still gave the three pilots time to recover from their emotions and to discuss their race a little. Astrée immediately detached herself from the two men and threw herself on the water bottles, drinking the transparent gold greedily. It was without any delicacy that she wiped the few drops that had fallen on her chin, almost choking when she saw who was coming towards her. Her cheeks flushed within seconds and her hands began to tremble. 

If nothing else compared to the feeling of finishing third in her first ever Formula One race, meeting Lewis Hamilton was a close second. She'd never seen him up close and personal. The television didn't do justice to his beauty. 

Damn, what is his skincare routine? 

“The dermo-system range from Dior.”

“Huh?”

“My skincare routine. It's Dior.”

“What? I– OH! No! I mean... I– You know what? I'm gonna shut the fuck up,” she muttured, making him laugh. 

The Englishman was one of her idols, one of the figures who had taught her it was worth fighting for your dreams and that hard work was always rewarded. This was the first time he had spoken to her and she was thinking out loud in front of him. 

Idiote. 

“You were great earlier. I saw a couple of clips after the race. Your overtaking of Norris was impressive. Well done, not many people would have risked that in the Tosa, especially on their first race.”

Stay calm. Look normal. 

“I can't afford to make mistakes; I have to try risky things.”

“I get it. By the way, I'm Lewis,” he held out a tattooed hand, which she shook, secretly hoping hers wasn't sweaty. His eyes were crinkled. He was smiling. Even with the mask on, she could picture his teeth gap. 

Her whole face felt warm. Once again, she thanked the pandemic and its masks. 

“Astrée. It is truly an honour to meet you, and to be able to drive on the same track? Incredible.”

The woman left it at that, knowing full well that if she continued, she would end up saying something embarrassing. Fortunately, they were soon asked to go on the podium, Astrée first, to the sound of the teams’ applause only – no audience was allowed – but especially that of Williams employees, unused to seeing their drivers up there.  

Once the Dutch anthem finished playing and the trophies were distributed, the champagne flowed freely. Astrée was happy to pour the gold sparkling liquid over the other two and to be sprayed, sometimes running her tongue over her lips to catch a few drops. 

The taste of victory was delicious. 

No one paid any attention to it, but Astrée was not blind to the subtle shift in Max's attitude. Silent, avoiding her gaze, spraying Lewis more than her, he was far different from the one ready to give her advice the day before to help her in qualifying. 

The woman always found it funny how people's behaviour could change dramatically when they felt in danger, when they realized that she wasn't just a political statement. Even if he had been 20 seconds ahead of her today, he knew for sure that she could easily decrease the gap with a better starting position tomorrow. 

Astrée smirked.

She had won a fucking podium on her first ever race. Damn right, he should be afraid of her. 

✩ taglist !

@xcharlottemikaelsonx @i0veless @simping4marauders @muglermami @fxllfaiiry @exatse @lilsiz @iloveandsuffer @notaceventura @missamericana69 @kageyamama-hinatatata @gentlemonsterjennie1 @sad1esgf @16solace @kenanlotus0 @till1am @itsnotgray @starkwlkr @missflobelova @mehrmonga @crimeshowjunkie @anicega @kosmosgalore @lovemarvel16 @charles-dimple @hiding-behindmy-glasses

[deadlydelicious]

I also feel like all the terrible things Allison did in season 3 to get Claire back, in terms of like eroding her own morals and ethics, should have been held up as a mirror to Reginald doing the same for Abigail to actually make the theme hit.

Like that conversation on the bench between Reginald and Abigail feels like it's meant to be the central thesis of the show, and it kind of is - some things cannot be fixed, they cannot be undone, and by trying to do so all you are going to do is damage yourself and others further.

But because Abigail kind of only exists on screen for a grand total of 5 minutes (and no I do not count her scenes wearing Sy) there is no real impact because we don't see any emotional reactions from her or about her. We don't see Reginals actions being motivated by her loss because we never really get to know him as character, he's only a plot device.

It's my problem all over with this season - the plot is there, but there is no emotional resonance. In season 1 we felt Viktor's simmering rage, Allison's regret, Luthors isolation and so on. Ben's true death, Allison's expiriences fighting for civil rights, and Klaus's scenes with Dave in Season 2 hurt. Even season 3 has it's moments. But in this season what should be big emotional moments just....dissapate into nothing because none of the characters have any sort of true emotional reaction to them, so they have no impact.

Like we can look at the seperate pieces of the story and see what they wanted to do with a storyline about cycles of abuse and regret, they wanted to do a story about emotion, but it rings hollow this season because outside of the worlds most hateful love triangle, nothing is actually dealt with emotionally

[thepunkmuppet]

idk about anyone else but I would’ve LOVED to see at least one substantial interaction between angel and dawn, or even angelus and dawn. because I feel like we all forget that angel had a little sister, who looked to be around dawn’s age (considering dawn would’ve been 10-13 years old during seasons 1-3). and he murdered her.

I imagine him being extremely awkward around dawn, unsure of what to do or how to behave, with moments of awkward but genuine tenderness that really show how much he would have loved his sister when he was alive. he probably would feel unsafe around her, and guilty, seeing her as an everyday reminder of what he did and feeling like a danger to her even though he knows he would never hurt her, not wanting to get close to her or touch her. buffy would likely bring this up, making it a plot point for an episode that ended in angel and dawn having an emotional reconciliation, wherein perhaps she tells him that he’s not that person anymore, and she doesn’t see him that way or feel threatened by him. which would then hit really hard when he turns into angelus, making her kind of hate him in season 3 which would explain the way she speaks about him from season 5 onwards… UGH it’s just so good

it’s just fascinating to me, and shocking that we never got any kind of flashback to delve into this (I get it would’ve been hard because michelle trachtenberg certainly does not look 10 or 12, but still). because every character in the buffyverse who was around from seasons 1-4 remembers everything completely differently to what we see on screen. as far as they’re concerned, dawn was there, deeply entrenched in all their lives. I think since reading “green smoke and empty mirrors” (by apprenticebard on ao3, best fanfic ever written istg everyone go read it right now) I’ve thought about this much more. thinking of making a fic about dawn and angel one day, because the potential is INSANE

[tornrose24]

After finishing rewatching all of The Ghost and Molly Mcgee, these are my thoughts.

I think this is the one time in who knows how many years I’ve been invested in something that came from Disney. I haven’t seen this kind of passion project in a long time and sadly I don’t know if I’ll ever see that magic again for awhile, considering how Disney itself has suffered with many poor choices.

As for the show, a lot hits different when you know how it ends. Certain moments become a lot more meaningful with that knowledge.

I’d say first season was the better of the two. There was far more at stake and the story was building up to its climax in numerous ways compared to season two. The threat of The Chairman and the discovering of the duo’s friendship is very much felt in more episodes compared to Jinx.

Scratch’s character development is really noticeable in season 1, but in a way Molly’s is as well, given how one learns to open up and learn kindness and optimism while the other also needs to learn to open up in other ways, as well as grow into the wise, yet still optimistic teenager she becomes at the end of the show.

Season two… the stakes aren’t as great here. As stated by others, the Chens are overall not given much as a threat for season 2, and Jinx is used too sparingly so the penultimate season does feel a bit rushed. I honestly would have taken out some episodes from this season and replaced them with ones that could have addressed this, especially had the creators known they’d only get two seasons. Though of course they did not when starting out and it’s surreal to think that–had things gone right–we’d be waiting for season 3 right now.

However, I’m still sticking to my initial thoughts regarding ‘The End.’ I still don’t think it was necessary for Scratch to forget Molly.

The first problem is that this plot point is already one a lot of us are familiar with (I’ve seen it quite a lot in my case). Doctor Who used it (before it got changed), Spiderman No Way Home used it to a painful extreme, and Gravity Falls temporarily used it in its own finale. There’s a novel called ‘Just like Heaven’ that is a more romantic version of TGAMM, and it ended with memory loss as well (though the movie has a happier ending). I feel sad, but I also feel angry, which leads to my second problem.

Molly and Scratch’s friendship is the heart of this show. We were entertained and moved by it, as well as how far they would go for each other. So when Scratch forgets, we feel Molly’s pain as observers to her and Scratch’s story. We want Scratch to live his life as a human, and we wanted him to go out and see the world, but he should NOT have had to forget Molly in exchange. I know we always have to say goodbye and that there are some people who were special to us that we might/will never see again, but dear lord, being forgotten is a certain type of pain that hurts even worse. 

Rewatching/remembering certain scenes is now more painful, knowing now that Scratch will forget them. Him saying that he’d hate to forget Molly was too cruel. When I was getting cloer to revisiting ‘The End’ I was feeling reluctance to continue on, and not just because I was almost done with the re-watching. When Scratch merged back with his body and the screen turned to white, I had to fight the urge to shut the episode down and pretend things went differently. That’s how much it hurts when it’s not just a casual viewing. I know these characters ultimately belong to someone else, but I wouldn’t want to put them through that kind of suffering.

Had I been in charge of the show, but kept the idea of ‘taking risks is what makes if worth living,’ I would have used one of two different endings. One where its the same, but Scratch remembers Molly. The other would have been a time skip, when Scratch returned to Brighton with Adia and he reunited with Molly who is a little older but is still the girl he knew.

But… I do appreciate the small ray of hope that was given. That Scratch’s behavior as a human and certain use of words–as well as calling Molly by name despite supposedly never hearing it before-fuels a lot of hope that one day Scratch will remember and he will reunite with Molly one day. That even a few writers proposed a reunion story where Molly hugging Scratch would trigger his memories to come back gives me hope that there's still a possibility in that story. (If anyone tells me I'm stupid to be thinking those things, please don't because I care about those characters THAT much.)

Until then, we have aus, what ifs, and fan fics to fix that.

So… I don’t know when I’ll rewatch the whole show again, given the emotional toll. I’ll still revisit some episodes and scenes. But I’m grateful that Disney allowed this show to exist–it deserved more love and attention. If this had to be the very last good thing to ever come out of Disney, I’ll take it.

[princesssszzzz]

Team fandom fights has rotted the brains of some I fear. I’m mostly team green but that person is embarrassing! Loud and Wrong! A lot of people are projecting hard onto these characters to the point where they no longer understand the characterization or the relationships between everyone

Absolutely, it is projection bc they didn’t get it from F&B or even the show. Especially onto Aemond. Half the takes on the show are people’s headcanons they collectively decided to treat as canon while what actually happened on screen is ignored. It’s also people who have been in their own little fandom bubbles and echo chambers since season 1 so they feel comfortable saying bullshit and don’t think anyone will even question what they’re saying. Echo chambers where people tell each other every character that isn’t their fave is secretly a horrible person and their faves are perfect and should be defended no matter what.

The characters during the dance are not a monolith of a “team”, they are individuals. For example, Aemond and Rhaena are much different than Aegon and Baela. Totally different; each pair one on team green one on team black yet totally different characters and interactions with each other. First off Aemond is absolutely wrong in his interaction with Rhaena and that’s not the first time I’ve seen people try to justify the “ride a pig” comments seconds after acknowledging it as bullying when it’s said by one of the strong boys.

Aemond and Rhaena barely interact, and adding up all their interactions, there is no normal person in this world that would say Rhaena is a bad person and not only that, but that Aemond or literally anyone would be justified in attacking her in any kind of way. There’s literally people in the fandom saying she should be killed by Aemond like wtf 🤨 Literally going off the characterization of them, Aemond is STILL pissed at the strong boys and there is absolutely no reason anyone should be falsely claiming he hates Baela and Rhaena at the end of season 1. Hence why the WRITERS of the show have him ranting endlessly about strong boys despite Baela and Rhaena being randomly added to the fight scene. He’s not mad because a younger girl hit him, he��s mad because he doesn’t like the strong boys and his eye was taken out. Aemond doesn’t give af about being pushed by a girl years younger than him, much smaller than him, and who isn’t trained to fight. And he’s not mentioning them in his little toast for a reason. Especially not Rhaena, when Aemond is a character that absolutely knows he was wrong in how he spoke to her and mocked her for not having a dragon, but would not admit it. That doesn’t mean he’s besties with them, that means they would literally just have a “cordial” relationship post time skip if the dance never happened. Even Baela is cordial with Aegon and calls him cousin despite not knowing that mf and this is after she’s hearing him be disrespectful for the first time.

This takes me back to the dinner moment where Rhaena raises her cup to Aemond after Viserys’ toast. Anyways, I just think it’s funny. I’ve also seen people creating fan art showing Baela and Rhaena flipping off Aemond and being antagonistic towards him when they literally aren’t like that whatsoever. This seems like the false characterization of Baela and Rhaena and their relationship with Aemond specifically that fans are constantly trying to push despite that not being on screen. Don’t even get me started that Aemond literally watched Rhaena clearly disagreeing with him and Jace fighting. Disagreeing with both Jace pulling out a knife and Aemond grabbing a rock.

People are not paying attention to this show and just seeing what they want to see atp.

Aegon and Baela interact multiple times and Baela genuinely can’t stand him. Then we add in the show interactions with him sexually harassing her, they have a fight and legitimately have no reason to give af about each other. Baela is not some mindless violent person despite what people keep pushing, she literally jumped in shock when Daemon killed Vaemond. Aegon is not a good person to Baela, and no amount of people saying Baela went to the rat pits is going to change that.

The interactions between Aegon and Baela is more obvious and it’s just impossible to misinterpret what type of people they are and their moments. The events of the dance and Aegon’s behavior leads Baela, someone who has never killed anyone, to risk her life attacking him. They are supposed to oppose each other. Their dragons names are literally Moondancer and Sunfyre.

That being said, despite what the chronically online claim, as of the end of Season 1 I’m absolutely under the impression neither Aegon or Aemond (or Daeron) hates Baela or Rhaena or want to kill them over Aemond getting pushed or simply because their father married Rhaenyra. Neither the show or the book is as simple as team black v team green and people need to start comprehending that sooner rather than later. I’m 99% sure Aegon on screen in the future will have an opportunity to kill Baela and will not take it. Baela and Rhaena are innocent, hence why so many things that happen purposefully don’t involve them. So much for these people and their “Baela and Rhaena are the villains and the green boys should go fight them” headcanons and wishes. People ignoring that these characters are related, and that does mean something. There is no blind “I want to kill them!!” going on. What’s not clicking 😭 Aemond didn’t even want to kill the kid that actually took his eye but you want to headcanon that he’s eager to kill Baela and Rhaena? Please go sit tf down 😂 Aemond and Aegon are not some mindless brutes trying to kill everyone on team black. How has this NOT been understood by someone claiming to be a team green stan. I don’t even like the show but I understand it better than it’s fans…..

[greyfongschemmenti]

overall thoughts on tdp??? Now that you’re done watching, which season/story-line/character (besides our iconic queen General and Aunt Amaya 👑) was your fave? Any moments throughout that you really felt or really spoke to you?

The dynamic of characters in this show is so interesting. The theme throughout the whole show is something that resonates with me because it's how I live my life. Despite what you hear about a certain group of people you should have an open mind. This is just some of my thoughts and opinions on some of the characters. There might be spoilers so read at your own risk.

I love Seasons 1-3 and if it wasn’t for the wedding preparations and scenes with Amaya. I wouldn’t have watched season 4. I felt like the whole season was complete filler. The series could’ve ended at the 3rd season and be solid. Season 4 didn’t really get my attention compared to the previous seasons. I hope the story picks up in season 5. I just need more Amaya 😭 lol

Callum starting as a kid who doesn't know where he belongs because he isn't a fighter or have anything useful to help the kingdom. He is the stepson of the king. Turns out he is a mage and he instantly knows that he wants to be a good light mage and nothing like what his former crush, Claudia is. Speaks on his character and reminds me a lot of his mom.

Ezran, such a baby doll, is quirky and awkward. Has a difficulty talking to people and has a special connection with animals. He has a kind heart and sees the good in people. He doesn't allow outside comments deter his judgement on a person. He reminds me so much of Antonio from Encanto. He is a fave for sure. He is a type of King that I would love to see in the real world.One that rules with kind and compassion instead with a drive for power or holier than thou.

Rayla being a moonshadow assassin. While Rayla claims to despise humans, on the inside she doesn't truly hate them. She doesn't see them as lesser beings than herself, unlike the rest of the elves. It causes this inner turmoil on her belief as a moon shadow assassin verses her morals. She constantly checking her morals and doing better. Willing to put her life on the line to do the right thing.

Claudia, her development was scary, I know there's some good but she continues down this dark path, that its sad. I was so hoping that she would run away with Soren. I really hope there is some way she can redeem herself in the upcoming season but I feel like she's so far down the rabbit hole that it's too deep a hole for her to come out of. The reason why I say Claudia's development is scary s because she knows she is becoming darker. Each season she is at a point where she pushes that morality further. She crosses that limit and instead of realizing ok that's enough. She knows it's bad and accepts it with no regret. Only to surpass it again the next time. There is nothing that will stop her to get what she wants.

Soren, at first I didn't care about him because he was this jerk who constantly picked on Callum, but Soren definitely grew. The first season I feel like the creators wanted us to see Soren as this idiot jock that heavily relies on his physical strength. It also didn't help that Viren and Claudia also treated him as such. As the series goes on he is so much more than that. His development throughout the series is one of the best, imo. He has this emotional intelligence that came to a surprise. He does have silly moments where he acts first but then he realizes his mistakes and changes. When Soren realized how he was manipulated by his dad. He went against his dad. This is so hard to do. He loves his dad and his sister so for him to renounce his loyalty from his family and follow the crown. Then on top of that having to go to war and the person you're fighting is your own father and sister. That hits the heart in more ways than one. His redemption arc is honestly chef's kiss. Soren is a good boi.

Amaya, my my my Amaya. She is wife. Once she appeared on the screen I had heart eyes immediately. Like I was already shopping for rings! I think I have a thing for strong stoic types who are really big softies. She's both an immovable object and an unstoppable force in battle. Amaya is thoughtful, honorable, compassionate and smart. Brutal, driven and capable. Pragmatic and adaptable. Her character design and fight choreography is stylish af. I could watch her fight it's like watching a dance. Her shield is honestly really cool and interesting design. Even though she's a tough person that flips switches so fast once she's with her nephews. She turns into this big softy that is so adorable and honestly is why I fell hard for her. She has a heart of gold and isn't afraid to jump into the line of fire to protect the people she loves. Her nephews, Gren, Janai, her soldiers, her kingdom. I could go on about Amaya.

Bait, Bait is the best. I can't get over him. He has a range of emotions and is the bestest boi. He deserves all the tarts.

Bonus:

I can't get over the fact that Amaya threw Bait in a perfect spiral throw. Bait is beauty. Bait is grace.

[artist-issues]

I feel like Luz’s palisman is a representation of what’s going on in the writer’s room for The Owl House ever since the end of Season 1.

Build up to a big reveal, get people guessing and hoping, and when it finally arrives, it’s…every animal, instead of committing to one. It’s a new creature with no previously-set-up lore or presence in the show…that is able to morph into anything.

Not a little owl, to symbolize she found a place where she can belong as The Owl Lady’s only true apprentice. Not a little wolf-King-lookalike, to symbolize her commitment to her friends and call back to Eda’s line from the first episode. Not even a little bat or singular animal to symbolize how she’s her own person. Just a lazily slapped-together last-minute creature that might as well be called “Whatever You Want-o-Saurus.” 

Elaboration below the cut.

Kind of like how the show can just be about any character. Oh, you thought this was a show about Luz and Eda, and occasionally their sidekick King, with even more occasional appearances by her new schoolmates? Nope. We don’t pick three main characters to focus on—EVERYBODY needs angst. EVERYBODY needs trauma. All characters must have big reveal moments, love interests, crying scenes, and relearn the same lessons over and over again. By Season 3, Willow, who should have had less screen time than EDA HERSELF, not only has more screen time, but is simply learning the same old half-a-witch self-worth shtick that she learned in Season 1. 

Literally, it would be like if, in Star vs the Forces of Evil, the show zoomed in on Ponyhead, Heckapoo, and Eclipsa, (Hunter, Willow, Gus) and every scene included some reference to their emotional trauma, like a hammer hitting your head in the same spot over and over and over. Meanwhile, Star’s (Luz) screentime is limited but also solely focused on her self-hate for messing everything up, Marco (Eda) gets three lines of dialogue, and we’re treated to much more Glossarick (King) and Ludo (Collector) screen time, where’s he’s no longer funny but nobly self-sacrificial and confident.

Or if Gravity Falls, Season 2, gave Dipper (Luz) plenty of screen time to be an emotional prop for characters like Robbie, Soos, and Wendy (Amity, Hunter, and Gus) while he background-hates himself. Meanwhile Mabel (Eda) is almost written out except for being given two lines per episode about wanting to save Mermando from being turned to stone—oh, you don’t know Mermando (Raine) that well? It’s because he was just tossed in as a progressive love interest halfway through the final season—and Grunkle Stan (King) gets to be completely free of all previous character traits except “must save kids” energy while Lil Gideon (Collector) holds him hostage. Oh, and the interesting villain? The one we’ve been teased with and really are invested in seeing lose? Bill Cipher? (Emperor Belos) He’s just kinda crawling around in the background, powerless until we need to give Soos more emotional trauma.  What I’m saying is, sure, Stringbean looks cool. The Collector looks neat and clearly is meant to be child-murderer creepy (oh but you can still feel bad for him because we poured Trauma™ on him, too.) The big playtime set pieces are definitely going for Gravity Falls’ “Weirdmageddon” vibe. Every character gets a snazzy new haircut and outfit change every three episodes (or ten minutes.) 

But who the heck cares when the story is lazy, unrecognizable, carries itself like it has substance and commits to nothing—except the same old character beats from Season 1 but with more crying?

[therese-lokidottir]

There's one thing that literally wromg on screen and it's very obvious, like there's no justifying at all but of course they trying justify it and it make showrunner look stupid and cruel

It's even mobius and loki first time in theater room and well it's lead mobius saying na d blame loki for frigga dead and say loki existence is nothing but for step stone

That is literally cruel and torture and showrunner specially Waldron had nerve calling it 'therapy ' and make loki 'look into mirrors' to realize his sins and mistake (loki literally know and understand his sins and mistake, he no need anyone and everyone rubbing it on his face). Seriously season 1 scenes it's filled with stupid and cruel scenes

Seriously what the f&*- wrong with Waldron, I know he didn't watching previous films but seriously? Every single his 'writing ' literally bad, boring and stupid. Waldron make joss wedon and Russo brothers look like the best writers and prosucers in world

Loki literally know and understand his sins and mistake

And the thing Loki does understand he did wrong. You see it on his face when the reality of the situation hits him.

So, here's the problem with Waldron entire premise. Everything about the show says he has no choice that he'll be killed along with his entire timeline if he choses to do good but then still places all the blame on him for doing wrong.

Mobius judgment and shaming is really twisted when you think about it because from Mobius perspective, what he fully and unquestionably believes is Loki is just acting out what is written for him. It's not his fault it's the timekeepers intent for things to happen that way. Either Loki has free will and could have choice differently or he has no free will and no one has the right to judge him.

Loki didn't kill Frigga, not just in the way others have explain there is no way take the stairs to the left where enough to lead the monster to the room place and Malakath already was there. But in the way this Loki never got to the point and with the tesseract, that moment probably never would have happened. The TVA killed Frigga, this version of Loki who onscreen family and home is gone because of the TVA.

Loki doesn't admit wrong because he doesn't want to buckle to Odin, someone who has done worse and refuses to admit wrong himself. It is a personal conflict at that point and Loki has never been confronted by someone he has wrong in a significant way.

Thor, Volstagg and Sif threaten to kill him, he doesn't object or defend himself. He gets it. Jane punches him, he's more amused. Again, no excuse to people he's wrong in some way, Loki accepts that hate. The family stuff is a conflict because his family also screwed up and he refuse to be the only one who admit wrong.

Peter lost his uncle because of his inaction. Tony suffered torture and say his own weapons used against the US and civilians. These are both inciting moments for them to be heroes, but it's not therapy and the people doing these things are the villains.

Again, what sense does it really make? Mobius: Hey, you're an evil loser only good for causing harm. Now help up catch a someone so we can go on unimpeded annihilating universes and killing people. It's not therapy it is in every way cult indoctrination because all it does is tear Loki down and say the only path forward is obeying the system that isolated him.

Like, Raganrok wasn't a particular good redemption arc either but what it shows is Loki doesn't need this. He doesn't have to have his mother death shown to him and collared and beaten to change. There can be other paths for him to be a hero. True, either is through torture and shame but TR at least it was about saving live and that was it. He saved Asgard he accepted Thor as king no objection. So, yeah, wasn't necessary for Loki to change he was always capable of saving lives and giving his to protect his loved ones

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - February

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 28.02.2023

This may contain spoilers!

1. Bed Friend (2/8 on iQiyi)

The trauma is strong in this one! As is the tension and longing looks of King. Do you have feelings for me? Should ask yourself, buddy. But it is interesting and the first episode was promising.

2. Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu aka The End Of the World With You (5/8 on Gaga or Viki)

This feels depressing and heartbreaking and I love it! Done right this can become a little sad gem. This is way more explicit than I thought...and there are so many plot twists! Now we have the supernatural element and the boy can influence the weather? What else is there to come?

3. Boyband (1/6 on Youtube)

And so they decided it is no longer free with subs on youtube...why starting with the first epsiode, when you can't keep up with it?

4. Chains of Heart (2/10 on iQiyi)

Cinematography and scenery - stunning! Really pretty and dark and atmospheric. The plot - I don't get it yet? I really have no clue who some of those people are and what is going on. The acting? Everything between okay and cringy. And there are some scenes which are so damn fucking long! Unnecessary long!

5. History 5 (9/10 on Viki)

I hate it here.

5. Island Part 2 (2/6)

It starts where part one ended and I really appreciate we got to see something from their past! There was so much to explain and they finally did it. Great first two episodes.

6. Moonlight Chicken (6/8 on Youtube)

I love EarthMix so much and I missed them and now I am just so happy they are back and damn they are fine! I felt so shy watching the first episode. Let me just sit here with a huge grin on my face. I won't be normal for the next few weeks...and GeminiFourth are so lovely too and took over the whole show for me! Oh this series is so good.

7. Tin Tem Jai (1/10 on Gaga)

I don't know when I am going to drop it, but the first episode was...not that good. I have no idea what is happening and why this little girl is everywhere...I just...I don't know...And Park looks annoyed like everytime he is on screen...

8. Utsukushii Kare Season 2 (3/4 on Gaga and Viki)

Yeah, I like it. And today my heart broke together with Kiyoi's.

Finished in February

Series

1. The New Employee (7/7 on Viki)

I thought it would be 8 episodes, but apparently there are only 7. Fine by me. I liked this one a lot. It felt mature and they did great with the communication. It is Woo Seung Hyun's first relationship, so of course he is sometimes a little bit overwhelmed and shy, but he learns and trusts and Kim Jong Chan helps him and also learns so much in the progress and they both are just so perfect for each other. It is a 8,5 out of 10 for me.

2. Love at the End of the World (9/9 on Gaga)

What the actual fuck have I just watched...I left my best friend 20!!! voice messages while watching this. Some scenes left me speechless, some depressed and some I couldn't take serious. I don't know why it had to be this graphic, but okay. The end of the world is near and we accompany four different couples through their last days on earth. And those last days are fucked up, just as this movie and its plot twists are. It is a 6,5 out of 10 for me, because sometimes I just like a fucked up story.

3. It's okay not to be okay (16/16 on Netflix - no bl)

I am not okay and that is totally okay...the moment Kim Soo-hyun smiled it blew me away and the acting and the story hit me with all its force and I am in love with this series. I love it so fucking much! I don't know how to get on from it right now. This series has such powerful messages and I love all the characters and all the ups and downs and all my painful tears and happy tears I shed, I love every moment, every single emotion I felt while watching it. So fucking good. If I could, I would give this 100/10, and yes, this is my blog and I can do what I want, but let's keep it real, I'll stick to my rating: This is clearly a 10 out of 10 for me.

4. Work from heart (7/7 on Youtube)

Well, this one was...cringy and boring? And the pacing was something else. I liked the chemistry between the main, but everything felt a little bit rushed. The ending was unexpected heated. The ex was a big red flag and really annoying at some point. 5,5 out of 10 for me

5. Individual Circumstances (8/8 on Viki)

After years spending their lives apart from each other an almost worn out movie director and a famous writer meet again. The past has to be processed and the writer deals with their history and present in one of his stories. It started strong and overall I like it, but what was that kiss in the end? Korea you can do better, we know that! It is a 7 out of 10 for me.

6. Ameiro Paradox (8/8 on Gaga)

Well it had its moments, but sometimes there was just no progress. It started in a good way, but I just lost interest halfway through. But it is not a bad series, just a little bit boring from time to time. A 6 out of 10 for me.

7. I Will Knock You (12/12 on Gaga)

Not gonna lie, I had my problems with this one. I can understand where people come from when they say it is good, because I get the message and that is a really beautiful one. Don't judge people without knowing anything about them. To change is not always bad. Some people can bring out the best in you and love doesn't judge and I guess some more, I can't think of right now. I enjoyed the second half of the series. But till the end, I didn't like the characters that much. So for me this is a 7 out of 10.

8. Sh**ting Stars (16/16 on Viki - no bl)

This is one of those dramas that put a huge smile on my face. I really liked it! It is funny and cute and Gong Tae Sung is the biggest, softest puppy in love out there! He is just so awwww! It is a good 9,5 out of 10 for me.

9. Lonely Connections (6/6 on Gaga)

This series left a feeling of solitude in my soul. I have to let you go, so you can be with the one who loves you. This series shows different kinds of romantic and sexual relationships, the different types of love and desire. Does it mean I love you when I have sex with you? Can I love someone and still desire someone else? At some point it is very explicit, so not for everyone. I liked the tone of the series. It is very artsy. Overall 7,5 out of 10 for me.

10. The Love that Dare Not Speak Its Name (6/6 on Gaga)

Well this was a quick one with a runtime of round about 15 minutes in total! But it told a whole story. The acting was a bit stiff and the dialogues were not that good. It is the story of two roommates who become friends and best friends and one day, out of the blue, one of them confesses. Well yeah...I really like the titel! 5,5 out of 10 for me.

11. Move to Heaven (10/10 on Netflix - non bl)

This is such a little gem. I have cried for like 8 hours straight. Such a fucking good and touching story! I want a second season! Now! But it is really a beautiful drama about growth and family and love and grief. One of the easiest 10 out of 10 ever!

12. Physical: 100 (9/9 on Netflix, non bl)

Well this was fun. Most of the fun came from watching with my best friend, but still. My last favorite came in third, so I am not that dissappointed 😅 and damn all of the contestens were strong af! I won't rate it, because, I don't know how 😅

13. Red Balloon (8/8 on Gaga)

Gaga is going to kick out a bunch of movies and series, among others also this series, so I took time today to watch it. It was sweet and heartbreaking and brutal and sad. It deals with a bunch of homophobia and mobbing and that was difficult to watch, especially because non of the teachers would really help...that was so frustrating. 7,5 out of 10 for me.

14. My School President (12/12 on Youtube)

It hurts so much to put it in my completed folder. This was such a wholesome series. There were no unnecessary cliffhangers, no unnecessary drama. The communication was superb! The characters were so well written and the character growth is just chef's kiss. I love every singel second of this series and I will come back to it, if I need something to comfort me. Because it is just wholesme and lovely and healing. And Tinn is the biggest, cutest green flag walking in bl-land. I adore him. I give it 20 out of 10, because that is what its deserve.

15. Never let me go (12/12 on Youtube)

I like this one. Yes, there were plotlines I don't understand. Palm, why did you have to leave, again? Just stay together, because alone both of you are unhappy! The best part of this one was definitive the chemistry between Pond and Phuwin. Those two did a really great job! 8 out of 10 for me

Short Film

1. Table Manner (on Gaga)

This one...I don't like it that much. It was a little bis boring. There was a sweet kiss, but the story was just not that interesting. 5,5 out of 10 for me

2. Plus Minus (on Gaga)

Not to be msitaken with the taiwanese Plus & Minus, this one is a Pinoy short film with a confusing plot. The time line is not linear and most of the times I didn't know when the scene took place. 5 out of 10 for me.

3. Firsts (on Gaga)

For everything there is a first time. Problems occure when you can't deny your desires anymore, when there is no going back for you. Then you have to be true to yourself. You can't pretend forever and you have to make a choice. A great short film that displays the intimacy and vulnerability really good through words and actions. 8 out of 10 for me

4. Pure Vanilla (on Youtube)

Such a sweet short film, just as the titel promised. Two coworkers who have feelings for each other, but don't know if the other person feels the same. Really cute. 9 out of 10 for me

5. One Afternoon (on Gaga)

It is a quiet short film with not much talking, but nevertheless is it quite intense. It is a different point of view than we usually get. We see most of the film through the eyes of the younger brother and how he deals with discovering that his brother loves another man. 7 out of 10 points.

Movie

1. Tinted with you (Viki)

A historical drama with time travelling and some really nice scenery. It is always difficult to tell a good time travel story. At some point I just had to stop thinking about all the problems which could come with the things they did, but okay. It is not a bad bl, but a little bit boring. For me it is a 6,5 out of 10.

Dropped/On Hold in February

1. Cutie Pie 2: You (2/4 on Youtube)

Oh this is so boring! I couldn't bring myself to watch any further, even though it only has four episodes and I watched with double speed...I was in love with the first season, before it lost me on the way with its sugary, lovey dovey washed story and this second one is just...no. I can do so much more with my time...

Looking forward to in February

Moonlight Chicken (Feb 8th)

Utsukushii Kare Season 2 (Feb 8th)

Marry My Dead Body (Feb 10th)

Egoist (Feb 10th)

Moments of Love (Feb 14th)

Boyband (Feb 16th)

Jack Frost (Feb 17th)

Bed Friend (Feb 18th)

Chains Of Heart (Feb 18th)

Island Season 2 (Feb 24th)

Tin Tem Jai (Feb 27th)

Café in Love

A Shoulder To Cry On (-Viki and Youtube page were created)

The Luminous Solution

Future

[marley-manson]

okay the full review in a pros and cons list lol

pros:

uh my ship canon. i win, motherfuckers. fuckin 15 year old me was right this whole time, as always, but it's nice to see it acknowledged for once.

the confession scene also just kicked ass tbh

i gotta admire the cheekiness of the back and forth hesitant phrasing of their relationship, eg crowley referring to '...us' and aziraphale's 'i need you!' 'we can be together' etc until finally crowley just runs back to kiss him

and you know aziraphale was about to say 'i love you' before cutting himself off <3

touching his lips after too <3

the reasons for the break up felt reasonable to me and justified with the season's flashbacks to crowley questioning things and aziraphale's resistance

some pretty funny jokes, i laughed outloud a few times

michael sheen and david tennant do have excellent chemistry

never gonna say no to side lesbians even if they were incredibly bland

i think the way it was structured like a fanfic was a pro honestly lol. the plot sucked, i don't care about it, so it's nice that the story itself also doesn't care

amnesiac gabriel was endearing

crowley not kiling goats was cute

ty tennant was in it for about a minute and spent that minute hitting on aziraphale and it was fucking bonkers

no het

like i think job and his wife may have literally been the sole exception including like references to offscreen spouses lmao, i'm v impressed, and if this is penance for last season then i forgive.

i thought it was cute that gaiman incorporated the song he wanted for season 1 into this season as a plot point

beelzebub's new actor was so much better. and the flies were somehow kinda cute, i'll give the gabriel/beelzebub ship that.

good old fashioned lover boy. we all wanted it, they gave it to us, i appreciate it

here's my review: gay enough

cons:

mostly sucked as like, a narrative

tennant's fucking performance as crowley was so annoying, he or the director doubled down on what i hated last season and stripped him of all the endearing humanizing aspects of his performance and the result was like watching donald duck screaming for 6 episodes

the chemistry was still there but the actual pining kiiiiinda wasn't, actually lol. oh they referred to it in scripted moments, jokes, parallels, and straightforward statements, but they didn't... show it, particularly. until the confession nothing even approaches the tenderness and emotion of like any of their season 1 scenes, let alone the car scene or the bus stop scene or the ritz or the french revolution rescue or the blitz or eden etc etc. and david tennant did not say one word in that cute hopeful pining tone

to be honest after watching the whole show this is the most disappointing part. like the car scene??? could i not get a sequel to that? let crowley be tender!!!!

i think the reason we don't get scenes like that, other than perhaps uncomfortable restraint due to acknowledging the romance textually, is that they went from crowley practically begging aziraphale to cave and fuck him for centuries to crowley now angry repressed and needing a push to say anything, which also felt wrong to me, like iffy fanfic characterization

it was bad enough that i was nervous they were going to depict neither as actually aware of their feelings. thankfully they did not, and it still feels like crowley has been pining for a thousand years and they've both been aware but dancing around it, with the way the confession was phrased. that should be a pro, actually.

also yk all the obvious things. dumb jokes, a lot of bad acting (i feel like the director is at fault though tbf), not into the twee tone in general for the most part, a lot of scenes that were way too drawn out, utterly nonsensical narrative, characters doing things for no reason other than convenience constantly (why do the lesbians stay to help fight the demons? because their characters are more important and need more screen time), 0 stakes wrt heaven and hell because they're all so wholly ineffectual as antagonists and neither crowley nor aziraphale ever gave a shit about their threats, etc etc

oh lol nina sosanya being cast again as a brand new character, no relation to sister mary loquacious. it's not a big con since i like her and was happy to see her again, but it did feel lazy lol. at least give me the identical twin cousin explanation

was crowley living out of his car a joke bc they don't have the set from last season? did god not restore his flat like the bookshop? what's up with that? and how much time has passed since last season anyway? why didn't he get a new flat? why is he living in his car? what's going on?

nightingale references at the end felt tacked on and awkward to me tbh

ohhhhh raphael!crowley's very obviously hinted at and i hate that headcanon :/

crowley's kinda hilariously gary stuish honestly, making me really miss the book and even season 1 where he was like, yk, fucking incompetent sometimes. here he's lounging on couches without a care while being threatened by heaven and hell multiple times, pulling off perfect shots with no practice, waltzing into heaven without a second thought, bluffing demons easily and successfully, etc. and that's in addition to being right about everything and also being raphael like what happened to my dumbass low-level loser fave who fucked up the apocalypse by accident and lived in terror of phone calls from hell???

heaven and hell are "toxic" lol? that phrasing is so awkward, and like, i'd say minimizing but i guess tbf they didn't pose much of a threat in this season. but still c'mon, why you describing 2 murderous doomsday cults/cold warring governments as toxic like they're your annoying ex? especially after the running gag about nina's shitty girlfriend constantly therapy speaking at her condescendingly lol. how about 'hey remember how they worked together to try to kill us last season?'

oh gabriel/beelzebub of course lol, whatever happened to neil gaiman being unable to read fanfic or even people's headcanon posts for fear of accidentally plagiarizing ideas? bring back the separation between fandom and creator stat, fandom has way too much influence here and fandom fucking sucks

a little petty but honestly the kiss could've been good, yk? there's no reason it had to be bad, they could've just given into it for a bit for a hopeful romantic moment before aziraphale freaks and pulls away. like can i get 2 dudes to kiss with tongue at some point on my television here?

needs more queen

[crows-home]

ok now here's what bugs me about Fire Emblem/ Nathan because fuck. TW for discussions of sexual assault, but it's p retty much just me ranting about the pervert anime trope.

Like any other anime even vaguely involving women, I was really worried about the sexualization of female characters or just flat-out grossness that might pop up. Casual sexism, casual groping, all those things played for jokes, etc. Theres always one pervert that goes after the girls, and it sucks. The girls are always victimized, and nothing gets done. Everyone else just sighs or chuckles and goes "oh, classic Pervert! So silly" It always makes me want to chew glass. I don't think I would have stuck with this series if I saw that tbh.

And unfortunately, there was some of that. A lot of that. Mainly from Nathan/ Fire Emblem, the openly queer character.

I've always despised the "pervert character" anime trope. It's always played for laughs, always brushed off, just serves to pander to some audience. "But ooohh, it's ok!! The person gets hit/ told off repeatedly its all good!! :)" No. No it's fucking not. It's annoying, uncomfortable, and is the reason I have trouble interacting with a lot of anime these days. Because that shit is just always around, played for jokes, ruining the episodes no matter how good the plot is.

So. then there's Nathan, a queer character of color that I really wanted to root for and relate to, in the beginning. But throughout all of season 1, he's always groping someone's ass and making some comment that the other person clearly doesn't like. I'm mainly thinking about Antonio/ Bison right now. And I know what people will say. "Bison is strong enough. If he really didn't like it, he would tell Nathan to knock it off or defend himself." To which I say: shut up forever and get out. Hell no. That's way too close to "well, you must have actually wanted it" that's thrown to SA victims and I'm not having that shit.

Maybe it didn't happen often, but it happened enough that any time Fire Emblem showed up on screen, I was ready for an uncomfortable moment to happen and rolled my eyes.

I've debated it with myself. Nathan's a flirt, that's their character. Flamboyant and openly gay, which can be seen as fitting into many stereotypes. But that's not where I have the issue. Seeing a queer character struggle through their relationship with gender, with how they are accepted in society and how they accept themself, could have been wonderful. Honestly, during the movie, the scenes where Nathan is having flashbacks and battling with very real insecurities made me sympathetic.

I dunno. It was just so disappointing to see and I don't know if I have enough words for it. It bums me out a lot. I don't know what the conversation about Tiger and Bunny was like back in 2011. Maybe other people have said this, maybe there's more to this, but agh. I just had to vent about this, because it was such a let down.

But all of that sympathy is thrown out the window when I remember the way this character perpetuates the stereotype: queer people are predators. And no matter what the intention was, no matter what year it was, that's what it comes off as.

I hate it. Because the second movie. The Rising. Made me really invested in Nathan and his journey. Sure, it was quick, and a subplot, but they did so much with that.

His mother and father criticizing him. The feeling of disappointment. "The only thing you can do now is die." Just a few scenes and lines of dialogue can really reach an audience, if you know what you're doing.

But I'm not sure they did. Nathan wakes up, overcomes his trauma and worries like a switch just flipped, and comes into battle saying "men are made of courage and women are made of love, so gay people are invincible!"

Man. What the hell. I can't even begin to describe the confusion and disappintment I felt when I first saw that scene.

It gets better in season 2, I think. Fire Emblem is still gay and kicking ass, just not so touchy. Which I'm assuming means the writers took notes from before and cut that shit out.

[nightguide]

SOUTH PARK: a note to God in the procession of heart and KEANU REEVES (season 16 ep 9) prt 1.

film making is a quality to be endured. a baby walking is just the same as Keanu Reeves fight scene in a single shot.

now watch me dance, watch me talk and watch how you will never grow up like the holy director, Mr. James. Cameron<3

Cartman tried to instigate the viewers heart in a joke but like all jokes take a dimensional hit (offense), Keanu Reeves wakes up one morning and thinks 'who is the actual viewer?' and he later turns to the British public he calls 'Americans' in which he reflects himself off from everyday inside a dome.

enough about Keanu, Hollywood is just an American store (trader joes, Costco, or any other branch that provides excessive weight gain but no heart or guilty pleasure to give a fck about or why are you even there.....) Hollywood teaches you that everything in there you feed off is a store, your weight is gained by how much you eat without giving a shit, without giving a shit about your diet, about your family's lives, you'll just eat yourself to death which is why you keep trading your body parts for....... a... heart?.... but... they don't want it...so they'll do the second... best thing.. which is.... pray?????????? the islamic re-introduction is how and why Cillian Murphy is now exalted on Islamic bias cuz all he does is stare at a screen and moves on with it, the man does not speak or do anything, it's why Keanu Reeves is into gun porn and Cillian just makes guns that doesn't involve porn, he knows what not to do which is why i'm technically the second best coming to Keanu Reeves life cuz he got no shit compared to what he did in the past 25+ years compared to one dog year in Cillian's life is 'how the fck did you sell your soul and keep yourself so cool that way, why don't you want to just play with a gun... oh' (Keanu's dialogue to Cillian almost all the time after Keanu saw me get an award for being best actor on the Oscars for... doing the.... oh... Keanu realised that Cillian does not do but he says lines that are too meaningful... no. he knows how to hide his beauty by exposing it, Cillian is a regular woman outside of Hollywood to Keanu's butch lesbian and nobody wants him and he is long gone old and forgetting)

STREETS OF PHILADELPHIA IS PLAYING AT THE BACKGROUND, MY LORD💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 he wanders to believe in a new future as 'that guy' *that's the subtext of 'what if Keanu Reeves were a different man but the same man died in him a while ago since Alexandra Grant did not use her pension privileges to manifest social media to her life right now*

Alexandra Grant is one of the team, she knew shit to go back after shit to smell shit in the air. she calls it oxygen and to her it has a 'strange smell'

if you did not know who James Cameron is then you're wrong to think Mel Gibson was uprooting his idea to produce Titanic to make people think differently about him now by taking his ide.... no. Mel Gibson, once upon a time i watched a Simpsons episode on Mel Gibson and i referenced SP for it, and it's not as crazy as Mel Gibson to remake Homer's idea for everyone that they'll be laughing at for the next 20 years which is a Hollywood day and it was one longest day because actually, James Cameron did not direct the Titanic, he went after the ship to look at in the end, Mel Gibson directed it and Homer Simpson directed the episode of SP with Cartman playing today's society's problematic scheme cuz the moment endured is when stupid men are the smartest men in the world cuz he is a girl. dad. THEY KNOW HOW TO RUN THE WORLD. SIMPSONS PLAY YOUR MIND, MEL GIBSON WENT THERE AND GONE BUT SP IS FOREVER AND JAMES CAMERON LIKED SHIPS

this episode (season 11 ep 1) is actually directed by Stone and Parker (South Park creators to you dumbasses who don't know who the legends you tried to watch in secret when your mothers are gone, she knows your porno stash too but is being a good Dad while you hate your actual Mom (Dad)

(Simpson as acting 'Stone and Parker' makes a reasonable offence to honour the actual movie he 'made' with Gibson in the 90's version, make it preachy to give offence to actual state of guard, like what the hell was he trying to claim the senate for, what and why did Cartman (Gibson) was claiming the overall attitude in the UK was possessing the ideals of the overall limits in UK if it wasn't there, how the fck did the 3rd countries become okay with... Pakistan? Kyrgyzstan?...... *gracie films end credits shows up*

it's just that but with more enthusiasm

THE HOMO-EROGENY AND THE ENTHUSIASM OF

ADELE!

fuck you too, cuz if Demi gets a mention then i'm just as psychotic as Mel Gibson with no.. wait a sec, i am him. legendary, but possibly thinking, i'm not as stupid to think where my algorithm will go cuz my crazy bitchass knows my heart to think i am not a

socially recluse hasbeen Gomez and what her ideology is just as fucked up as Tom Cruise promoting Catholicism like it wasn't even there cuz how is a rich homemade woman like her have a brand associated with a genetic condition she doesn't even fcking have

like what the fck is that?

weight = goals. the picture you see is just me but you would say if 'Rare' came to help her, a second forthcoming brand of grandeur and hope that would have saved millions if she was not as Honey Boo Boo's style of 'healthy'. HBB promotes heart and grandeur, like youth needs to be reclaimed with greatness, a happy father and a trustworthy mother is what you call 'Rare'

just imagine how many people said 'and I'll bet there's somebody else out there, to tell me I'm rare, to make me feel rare', with that kind of voice, you could have set old ideals apart and put the astrologer become wholesome man in the end (i got your back) Tom Cruise out of his job, like there wasn't anyone out there like Selena who would have saved Demi's life from a tragic overdose in twenty eighte- wait, Selena created the universe. let's make her think she was the most illuminated form in the world that could have saved her from an impending doom from Bieber's tragic fairytale that could have been in the Holy hell of forever from 'somebody' killing her from another likely to Lovato's actual appearance (healthy people to her is those who like people)

PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE WORLD OF AN ACTUAL MAN. NOT DIRECTOR, BUT ASSOCIATE.. NO, JUST AN ACTUAL MAN TO A CELEBRITY THAT ACTED LIKE HE HAD A GREAT HOBBY MANIFESTED TO A LIFE JOURNEY HE CAN NEVER FORGET, WHAT IF HE HAD A ☆DREAM☆

Keanu's orgasm is just 'what if i was a working class man'

47 Ronin does not limit, he only shed James Cameron's light by taking away the actual personification of the universe if he were not James Cameron, like there is much more than the empires told from just Japanese myths and fables about you not giving a shit, i understand when Hiroyuki Sanada committed casually because the arts of Japanese social justice came from and i remember (paraphrased cuz the movie was a long ago since i watched it) 'farmers hands got more value cuz clean hands are of ones like a pig' and it hit me in the face when nothing more than Keanu wanted was to think the world of 'demons' were just Muslim women liking to work for a living which has had so much hands and art than the average man, casually; Keanu made fun of Pashtun's (tribe in Pakistan that has more heart and heritage than Keanu's life in one go if Ted had a philosophical reason to go back, he would have learned on how to be a better man. but the idea solidified and went to the worlds most unexpected. (welcome aboard, girls) Bill and Ted in real life is just Syd&Olivia)

they are the worlds most stoned people in the planet in need of a heart breaking in a heart breaking, they like a casually off standish old man who doesn't give a shit and makes the world look like the fucking crime seeking justice they need (i love you, man) let me introduce you to

Malcolm fucking Tucker. is Rufus, George Carlin's biggest dream come true is a man of oxygen relating to the women his age and just beating life up senselessly in modern day America, not just a pornographic nightmare they had in the 80's in time travel (God forgive Alex Winter)

that guy, in case your dumbasses forgot names of celebrities you forget but never forgot. (the phase where you don't want to call out a celebrities name but you already know, shows that you're in love but who the fuck calls it that anymore, women are sad. they don't want sex but someone out there, call him granddad but

this guy ain't your age either, and neither is he granddad, call him how you want it but if you like someone, you like them but you like them cuz the amount of energy it takes... you watched it havent you? so you hate Malcolm Tucker but like him as the.. no. you don't deserve him, he ain't your Daddy. no. he OWNS YOU like the mega corporations he has under his big di-)

same fucking guy which is why you like Ted but you hate Bill, and that says something cuz you hate Ted but you don't want Bill to like Bill cuz DILF Bill is much more... call him ugly you stupid sonofabitch. some depressed Keanu fangirl, fuck you

ummmmmmm. how is your rights not even.. just drink.. water (Cartman makes changes and Kyle hates.. him?... is the show even real anymore or is Kyle the most irritating.... wait a sec he's not even there anymore...??.............)

SAG-AFTRA mocks AI but ends up building a quality of life of an average 'Brit'. makes a truthful (mockumentary) also follows the breakthrough of satanic comeuppance of a melodic dinosaur, Randy Newman is the guest host of the body of the heartbreaker (life was a toy story but only adults pretend to get the reference, so you're not even a true Disney Pixar fan either, HA ha)

porno is toys but you're too dumb to make that reference (fuck you Zoe Lewis)

viewers forget that Token (Tolkien for the Rwandan kind)

is rich.

how did a black man change the show when the concept of the whole fucking Song

is based on River Song's timeline.

Randy Newman generated a new psycho-neo cult that manifested on the Doctor's timeline that Black people (alt-white) have a goal that they would actually shut people up forever.... and of course Ncuti (pronounced 'shootee') is scoring up a future River Song regenerate to get laid with him on-screen cuz the nigga finessed a shot that wasn't even his cuz the creators of South Park made evidence that James Cameron's dream was to recast Titanic like one brown and one black to be together like that, Shootee doesn't want to fucking tell anybody why he's on Tumblr right now waiting for my post to come through when i discovered the anima-

Kingston said 'keep moving *makes a contorted face to mimic me cuz i know Kingston in real life.*

yeah, Shootee. that message was for you and it was personal. she really would have digged in on big black productions

keep writing fan fictions cuz this could be you one day. do you remember when time magazine put you guys as 'person of the year' in the year 2006? why did you not put that up on your CV or Resume to keep you looking classy, this is no generative score that you could have been... an asshole.. but you're.. the worlds most... greatest asshole

like where the hell is your honour

*cartoon in moral dilemma when the story never ends with toys but the player doesn't know when to stop giving in*, so Newman is technically me right now. it's all the kids who grew up with action figures being the guise of 'youth and giving in' does not appeal to them anymore but it's the ones who played way too much (actors) that appeared to be deeper than literal filmmakers (sorry Cameron) that made directors wonder why Cillian Murphy got an Oscar when his personality looks like this.

time stamp (16:10 - 16:48)

Goddamn

Keanu's pandemonium. and Cameron's retelling of the Titanic with the actual ship he found, he will later know his life's work with Cillian is actually worth it because he has got more Vanguard than Keanu's award worth mentioning or making the original South Park creators look like Daedalus to Keanu's Icarus. there is no retelling where and how Perdix became Weinsteins transitioning to Bruce Jenner's homophobia down at the lakes at the Hampton's when he decides to drop tha bar of soap.

this is kids entertainment to disgust adult minds, like have you seen the actual thought process of what went into the kids shows today that makes it look so damn innocent? that's what happens if the creators of South Park convince you 'anyone can watch it, just turn it off or fuck you for not telling them that YOU loved them' the paedophilia persona comes from unwarranted parents now who are excruciatingly jealous of their kids success that wants society to fuck them over because they don't have a brain or actual heart to do anything about their lives either.

(i will do another part)

[outrunningthedark]

I'm always under the impression that "It was never meant to happen, but it happens anyway" has a bit of a show-off element in it, because in my opinion proving you can adapt to changing situations (i.e fandom's opinion) show much better capability than long-term planning.

So yeah, I usually side eye TPTB of a show with a slow burn ship who says "It was never meant to be a ship" because it implies the crews and actors/actresses are crap at understanding the memo (why do you work with them then?). They had plans to make it happen, but either they don't know how to get there or they want to see the fandom's reaction before committing to a story that people may not like. Then again, funny accidents may happen and some are unplanned and I tend to be suspicious/negative so yeah...

I totally get you and I (personally) think that's what probably happened on The Rookie and has been happening on 9-1-1. Showrunners and writers have two actors with clear chemistry and it's like "I can see the potential, but let's see how the audience feels before we commit to canon." because you *should* want to be sure that the ideas circulating in your head will pass the test when the time comes. And then the explanation is "Well, we weren't set on going that way, but everyone loved it!" so the showrunners/creators get the credit for listening to their audience (which, tbf, is a factor, but those folks put that ship on screen for a reason; they were hoping for a positive response). With 9-1-1, Tim (and now Kristen) can hand wave all he wants, but the fact of the matter is that *something* happened during pre-production of s2 for him to decide that Buck and Eddie would be the next pairing when Maddie and Eddie was no longer an option. And that same season was when Buck and Eddie both end up officially single in an episode that "jokes" about them being cute together (2x18). Fast forward to the Buckley-Diaz family arc in 3A and...can't argue with the evidence, tbh. The show wanted us to get used to the idea of those three as a team so that they could come back to it when they felt the timing was appropriate. (I still say there was an opportunity to treat Buddie like a standard slow burn from s3->beyond re: lingering glances, visible jealousy around love interests, moments where they're maybe a liiiiittle too close, but that would mean enduring the wrath of the #queerbaiting critics, which Tim hates! Homophobia is a factor, too, but that's on Tim for not at least establishing Buck as bi (queer) already...not even when TK though he was being hit on...*sigh*)

[shame-is-a-wasted-emotion]

Rate your favorite ND female characters

Hey question asker! Thanks for asking. It's been long since somebody asked me. I never thought about this question because I solely love Kurt Hummel only with Blaine, Puck, Mike and such. I actually have no ranking for girls as well as boys. But let's see.

In order to get myself away from less trouble, let me rank it in s1-3 and then s4-s6

1.Tina Cohen Queen Chang

She has more plus for me than minus. I am not saying because I am an asian myself but she takes the cake. She sings well(underrated girl), she dances well(they put her in grp A:Better dancers in "Ice Ice Baby") and she is an unsung hero: sewing costumes for and members. She accepted many things without a say. I can feel her emotions.

2.Mercedes Jones

She is a less problematic character. Her smile is just out of the world. She just wonna sing and succeed in her life. I am glad she didn't end up with anybody because she showed me that it's okay to be without a partner. Sometimes, solitude let's you achieve more. I am subjective about her voice but Human nature is my favourite. Her duo with Kurt lit up my screen in early seasons. I didn't like her in Troubletones. It brought worst of everybody.

3. Quinn Fabray

This is somewhat unpopular now. But I prefer her. She started as a normal high school cheerleading head with head weight and had almost everything she wanted. But once she got pregnant, the harsh reality of life hit her life rock. She was pulled down many times after a development but she was a work in process. She learnt that there was life after high school. And she sticking with nd in s3 after Troubletone was formed warmed my heart.

Also, she is one of my favourite voices. She"?'s got stage presence.

I am going to kill myself for ranking these people after this. They had good moments but I disliked them some times.

4. Santana Lopez

She is really ,"darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream". She is Charming, hot (yes, I'll admit) but she was a little Satan. But I survived the NYC plot because of Kurt and her. Until that famous funny girl fight came.

Her rants were okay sometimes, but it got worse in later seasons. She started to rant just because she wanted too. But she was a better friend. She is one of the people who will be like," I can roast my friends like barbeque but I can only roast."

And anybody who says Kurt cried for unnecessary reasons, think of this girl who cried for cutting tanning privileges and for calling out she was mean.

Her voice is subjective too for me.

5. Lauren Zizes

She was nice addition to nd when Kurt left. Plus, Ashley Fink has good comedic timing and is charming. I love her attitude where she didn't give 2 shit about what other people said but she lowkey was a bully too.

Her voice isn't for singing but she is entertaining.

6.Rachel Berry

Her whole character started as somebody who will do anything to achiever her cake. I didn't care about her most of the times but she she really got on my nerves in later seasons. I felt like slapping her multiple times. She doesn't want to listen to anybody, she sent a person to a crack house just because she was threatened, she threw many people under the bus for no reason. She is one of the worse dancers too.

She was annoying downright at nyada and successses were served in her plate. I know she was work g hard but she had to let her work speak, not her mouth. I still can't digest that Rachel kept pestering Carmen when Kurt waited patiently. He did go to Carmen for second chance, but at least he did his first audition better, and he took effort to make a video tape if him singing another song(wake me up before you go go in acoustic version is pretty questionable though).

I was so happy that her tv pilot failed and she became slightly better. Also confusing your boyfriend about his career when he was already confused just so he could be with you?Nope for me.

I do t know how people love her and hate Kurt.

Her songs are totally subjective .

7. Brittany S. Pierce

I don't like her for some reason. She was bland for me. Not interesting. And I don't care for Brittana. Also she posted a sex tape of herself and girlfriend and got away. She kept dating people, she didn't have a stable mind on loving people. Also, her lines were sometimes hilarious but they were insulting.

9. Sugar Motta

Sugar Motta was... There. That's it. She was just a cash cow. She was funny sometimes but she is not for me.

Now for s4-s6

1. Unique Addams

The love child of Kurt and Mercedes. I liked her among later season nd members. She is a diva but she didn't throw people under her bus. Much like Kurt. I like her voice. I didn't like her catfishing but she was ok.

2. Tina Cohen Chang

Her explanation suits her too and I agree her on being bossy because putting up with a glee club for 3 seasons and when it's her senior year, she gotta enjoy and have her privilege. Her crush on Blaine was creepy but I understand. That's it.

3. Madison Mccarthy

She was an adorable munchkin. She was a supportive twin, I liked her energy. Wish we got her more.

4. Jane Hayward

Unfortunately Tumblr doesn't allow more than 10 pics.

I didn't care about her. She was okay.

5. Marley Rose

She was nice. She had great voice. She had sympathetic story. But I have nothing special about her

6. Kitty Wilde.

She was annoying to an extent. But she was better in s6.

That's it, folks. I had a nerve wrecking fun type. Thank you for making me think.

And oh, you can expect my 3rd Valentine one shot by tomorrow :)

See you then. I don't mean to trigger anybody. These are my personal opinion.

[winderlylandchime]

3x02 1/3 im just gonna jump right in for what we’re all here for: ‘ITS JUSTIN!!! BRIAN AND JUSTIN ARE BACK TOGETHER FUCKING! Wait is he cheating again? Is this gonna be like yesterday where they rewind back? Blondie and Bri Bri!! I missed you tw- WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?!?! That’s not my blondie? What is this.. i like Brian’s shirt, wait let me focus: so he is fucking people that look like Justin and imagining Justin while fucking people that don’t look like him..and people think he’s okay?’ He just paused the tv on Em/Ted and made a weird face ‘lover? That’s what they’re gonna be doing? I am not..i have mixed feelings. This is…awkward, i feel like I’m watching something i shouldn’t be’ he is now covering up his face and watching it that way. *points at Brian who’s watching Em/Ted ‘THATS HOW I FEEL! Where did lamb chop come from?’ He is now laughing his ass off at the part where Ted feeds Em ‘ow ow that hurt my stitches but it was worth it. That was funny. But also its a little weird. DEB STILL DOESNT KNOW WHY HE GOT HIT?!’ He started shaking his arms all over the place ‘BRIAN WANTS THEM TO MAKE UP FOR THE COMIC! why am i acting shocked? We already knew this since yesterday. But STILL. Is that how they get back together? Just please tell me that I won’t have to suffer harp player for the entire season..MIKE. i mean sure Bri Bri was a sugar daddy but it was by CHOICE! HE DIDNT BETRAY YOU. You cheated on his best friend. Dude, use your brain come on where’s that 1500 on SAT now?’ ‘NOOOO WHY IS THERE VIOLIN MUSIC AGAIN? I swear I’m gonna have PTSD by the end of this. SEE! His hand cramped up while drawing that fucker! That’s the universe telling him NO! DAPHNE MY BABY GIRL PLEASE DONT DISAPPOINT ME!!! *he is paying close attention to Daphs face* my spidey senses are saying that my girl Daphne hates him. Please be right!! (He actually gagged when Justin said they made love) please stop talki- you know for someone who is OH so in love with the flute player, he sure as fuck talks about Brian a lot. EXACTLY DAPHNE CALL HIS ASS OUT.. *daphne makes a face at ethan and he immediately pauses on it and goes to the tv* THAT *waves hands over daphne and accidentally touches the tv* my bad ma’am that was an accident. *waves hands again* THAT IS THE LOOK OF A PERSON WHO FUCKING HATES HIM! HALLELUJAH THERE IS STILL A GOD SOMEWHERE IN THIS FUCKED UP UNIVERSE!…fuck do you mean he’s dropping out? *he started to actually jump up and down while sitting when ethan asked about tuition* TELL HIM TELL HIM TELL HIM!!!’ He then ran to get his phone while screaming ‘WAIT WAIT I DOWNLOADED AN APP TO HELP ME FIND MUSIC!!!!’ And now he is using Shazam to recognize what songs they’re using.. ‘ITS BRIAN! They always use the best songs for Bri..(brian is on the computer going through pics of guys) is this the grindr before grindr? *looks at me* yeah i know what grindr is. This man would rule Grindr’ ‘ladies, girls, my lesbians…WHY on earth would you want another child? Mel you already cheated when the first one came around, wanna do it again? Is that the theme for this season? Cheating?’ ‘Ben only made enough food for 2? But he just offered it to Emmett? Ben sure is something..ben don’t be a bitch YOU TOLD HIM TO BE THERE FOR BRI..WHY ARE THEY CALLING EACH OTHER LOVER?’ ‘JEN NO! YOU WERE MY GIRL! MY WOMAN! MY DREAM WOMAN! WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS? Can they stop blowing smoke up this dude’s ass? I too could play the xylophone if i wanted to! (Ethan says ‘i like to think’) dude, you haven’t had a single thought behind your eyes since the moment you walked on screen. *he paused it and is now laughing at Justin* WHY DID HE SAY THAT WITH A SMILE? Why did he just say the words ‘he was at a concentration camp’ with a smile? JEN, i thought we had something, why are you betraying me? I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU GUYS TO BE FRIENDS! (justin says to not talk about Brian) BRO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO KEEPS BRINGING HIM UP. but for real who’s gonna pay his tuition? OH HIS DAD ASKS ABOUT HIM? Well tell Molly that (his name) says he can shove that question up his ass!’

…and people think he’s okay? YOU AND ME AND THE FANDOM BOTH BROTHER ANON. That is the theme for this series. No one gets Brian (except Justin). He is not okay, he is so rarely okay.

Daphne is the biggest and OG Britin shipper. I’m glad your brother sees that and feels the relief we all do. She doesn’t let Justin get away with shit.

He’s using Shazam! Bless. I love Shazam.

Haha yeah, Craigslist (bad name with regards to this show, I know) was like grindr before grindr.

WHY ARE THEY CALLING EACH OTHER LOVER <- good question! It is so cringe, I cannot.

Don’t worry, Jen will get her redemption.

And yeah, Justin, stop bringing up Bri Bri… oh you can’t can you?

[holding-out-for-hea]

I’ve watched all three eps of The Winchester’s. I wanted to form my own opinions and not be influenced by stans from all sides.

Wanna know what I thought?

…. I’ve enjoyed it 🤷🏻‍♀️ It definitely has some pacing problems and the typical CW shoddy production missteps, but I have enjoyed it. Does it hit nostalgia hard? For me, yes. But that was basically one of the reasons I watched the last five seasons of SPN (and my sincere dedication to the brother bond). These are people searching for their fathers, a la season 1 of SPN. Again- heavy reliance on nostalgia, but that’s what spin offs are known to do at first until they dig their roots deeper, and I’m thinking that The Winchester’s has a shot at doing that. It’s still all very surface level, but there have been moments that show the depths that are to come.

Here’s the thing with me. I don’t see this as a slap to the face of canon SPN at all…. Yet. It is it’s own entity, and I can’t say with any certainty where it’s going, so I cannot make any judgements that would be deemed fair about what effects on canon it truly has. I know, I know…. The John thing. But it’s SO clear that we will be getting answers to that, soooo 🤷🏻‍♀️The stories so far have felt like classic SPN horror type stuff (though I wish it was more scary). Some of the writing is clunky, but my God there isn’t a single show in television today that DOESN’T seem to have clunky writing - and that’s a post for another day.

I really think they hit a home run in casting, and that surprised me because the trailers did not lead me to that assumption. Drake is SO good, and if you think Sam wasn’t thought of in this show you’d be wrong. Not only does Drake look very much like him, but we see the hope, innocence and fierce loyalty that comes from Sam in John. 1000% intentional too, btw. The traits Dean mostly picked up from His dad aren’t really part of John yet, and it intrigues me. Meg’s Mary is different from what I expected, but I actually prefer it to what my initial musings were. Yes, we very much see Dean here, mostly in mannerisms, personality, sense of duty, and complete expertise in all things hunting. On a different level, Sam’s there too (again) in the wanting of a normal life. We see eartnestness, fear and resentment. Sam. Meg is clearly the more seasoned actor here, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised by her range.

Carlos is honestly a breath of fresh air. Jojo’s timing is spot on, expressions full of emotion, and he just makes you like him. He pulls you into the time period and makes the settings feel more 70’s, which is needed because sometimes the show doesn’t hit that mark. Lata is sweet as pie, and I am waiting for her big moment because it really does feel like it’s building up to it. Ada and John’s mom are very well cast, and you can feel their experience through the screen and it makes their young counterparts better, in my opinion.

It is not a perfect show, and at times I feel I’m even too old (in my 30’s) to be watching it. There are moments that feel to far fetched even for SPN, and the special effects are…. Well, it’s the CW - but the CW during a buyout, and while trying to change their entire target audience base with a show they didn’t seem to believe in too much. So… yea. But this genre is my jam, always has been, and to be immersed in SPN vibes again honestly is making me happy. I want to see where the story goes, however, on its own merit- and THAT, perhaps, is the biggest surprise of all.

I know this show is literally a Pandora’s box, but there is SO much REAL awful going on in the world, that maybe a breath and perspective is needed. This is a tv show. And yes, I know people treat SPN and it’s actors as though they’re all parts of a religious deity, but it’s not that serious. I have ZERO problem with people finding enjoyment in things, this prequel included. So I won’t call you stupid, canon denying, Jensen hating, Jared hating morons if you find enjoyment with this show. (Or if you dislike it either- just don’t rain on other’s parades)

ENJOY IT! This world provides so little to enjoy. Everyone is miserable. I see it day in and day out. So don’t sweat the small stuff, and don’t take things so seriously that aren’t meant to be that serious. But if you want to rage out about it and just go balls to the wall and hate post all the time? You do you my friend. We gotta feel better about things somehow I suppose.

I wasn’t looking for Shakespeare, Hemingway, Brontë or Austen. Wasn’t looking for Tolkien, Lewis or Tolstoy. I wasn’t expecting to find my life’s philosophy in this show, or to be able to relate to all of it because “that’s what I’m owed, dammit!” If you’re gonna watch it and say “at the thirteen minute mark in SPN’s 14th episode in the 7th season a background character says something that contradicts what the prequel just said!!” Maaaayyyybe don’t watch it. I just wanted the horror/mystery/family vibes I’ve missed- with a base storyline I can care about, and characters I can get behind. So far? I think it’s there 🤷🏻‍♀️