#hate this shit happens to him but fuck im so proud of him for speaking up and shutting these bitches down

[bastardbvby]

dream said fuck the bitches saying “i’m not reading all that” and just dropped the fucking clip of the century

[mrzombielover]

- slow ride ch2

feat. sinner!adam x fem!hotel worker!reader

previous chapter || series masterlist || next chapter (wip)

warnings: NSFW, more substance use in this one, a bit of angst?, readers emotional issues

a/n: i feel like my writing sucks esp in this chapter cause im sorta rusty and sick so i cant even tell if this makes sense but oh well😭😭😭 anyway pls send me hazbin reqs!!!!! having the worst brainrot lately esp for this horrible man!!!

wc: 2.9k

“I'm not breaking up inside / I'm much to proud to moan / Baby, please come home”

Oh my god. What did I just do? Why did I do this?

You turn your head to look at Adam where he’s lying on the other side of the bed, and find his expression closely mirrors your own. Pure disbelief is written on his features, and you grimace, turning to look back at the ceiling.

After a moment, you sit up, grabbing your box of cigarettes and a lighter off your bedside table. Once lit, you swing your feet off the bed to reach for shirt and now ripped panties, standing up when you’re partially dressed. You hear Adam sit up behind you.

“Soo, that was… uhhh…” He trails off, mouth hanging open as he thinks of what to say.

“Let’s… not speak about this again,” You say carefully as you turn back to face him.

“Yeah. yeah, i’m good with that,” He says quickly, finding his robes off the floor. You’re surprised he doesn’t say anything about the smoke.

You cross the room to get your pants off the floor, pulling them up as Adam grabs his jacket. You pull up your fly, and look up to see Adam’s staring at you with an expression you can’t read. His eyes flicker to your lips, and he starts to lean closer.

“Kiss me and i’ll cut your fuckin’ tongue out,” you say as you turn your head away.

“Oookay then. I’ll, uh, see ya,” For once, he has no snarky comment or crude joke to make as he straightens up and leaves your room.

After that, you told yourself never again. It happened once, it’s out of your system, it’s done. A one time thing.

But then it happens a second time.

“It’s a disgusting habit! All your clothes, your whole room fuckin’ reeks!”

“Are you tryin’ to get me to loose my temper here? ‘Cause i’m about to shove you out that fucking window!”

“And look how angry you get, you fucking fiend, it’s been like 2 hours!”

“Why don’t you mind your goddamn business?”

You raise an arm to hit him, but he catches your elbow, twisting you around so your back is to him and he can hold you in place. You struggle to break from his grip, when suddenly-

“Oh my god,” You deadpan, but your voice doesn’t come out as disgusted as you expected at the feeling of something hard poking into your lower back.

“Okay, this is not my fault-“ Adam says quickly.

“You- fucking perv!” You spit, but your words hold no weight when he flips you again and lifts you up, placing you on the counter and you make no effort to struggle. You spread your legs so he can slot between them as items pushed out of the way cascade off the counter, falling to the floor with loud crashes.

You then told yourself that would be the last time. But not even you fully believed yourself. And once it happened a third, fourth, and fifth time, you just accepted this is something that happens now. You’re not proud of it- some of you hates yourself, but another part of you finds a a sick, primal pleasure in it. It’s the only guaranteed way for you to get him to shut up, if only for a few minutes. The fight for dominance- fuuck you’re messed up, huh?

Thinking of the humiliation you’d feel if any of the others found out- oh god, how could you look Alastor in the eyes again- you change absolutely nothing about your behavior around Adam. On the surface, nothing has changed at all. You two still bicker and argue all the time, if anything, worse than ever. Yet the other members can feel something’s up, that something changed. Adam’s insults feel more hollow. He always said shit just to rile you up, but there was usually an undertone of truth to his words. Not anymore- it’s all stupid shit that everybody can tell he doesn’t care about. Nobody says anything about it, though, until-

“What the fuck are you smilin’ for?” Angel’s voice makes Adam jump as he enters, sitting down on the couch beside him.

“What-? I wasn’t smiling,” Adam quickly denies. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh my god- are you’re gettin’ laid?” Angel grins, sitting up. The look on Adam’s face tells him everything, and he can’t help but laugh. “Oh, you so are! No wonder you’ve been in such a good mood lately,”

“Uh, duh i’m getting laid, I’m Adam, I’m the origin-“

“Yeah, yeah, original dick. But that’s not what I mean and you know it.” Angel grins widely, and Adam can feel his face heating up. Oh god- why is he blushing? Since when does he care? He pushes the thought from his head.

“…You don’t know her,” Adam decides to say, crossing his arms and turning back to face the TV, hoping Angel will just leave it at that.

“Try me,” Angel leans closer, looking intently at Adam’s expression. When Adam says nothing, Angel laughs again.

“Oh my god I so know her,”

Adam grits his teeth but says nothing as Angel laughs.

“Okay, fine, don’t tell me who you’re havin’ weird secret kinky sex with,” Angel shrugs, turning to face the TV. “I’ll find out eventually,”

That makes Adam sweat.

You can’t help but laugh, nearly spitting whisky everywhere while Husk chuckles to himself. Sure, it’s a bit trite, ranting to the bartender about your shitty day while he pours you a stiff drink, but Husk could always make you laugh about it, and call you out on your bullshit if needed. He was real, and you liked that about him. Plus, it beat drinking alone when none of your other friends wanted to party on a Wednesday.

“-and not a crazy bitch like I’m a crazy bitch, crazy like she lit her mom’s hair on fir-“

“Husk holy shit!”

Both of you look in the direction of Angel Dust’s voice as he runs from the hallway towards you both. He leans over the bar, eager to share whatever news he had.

“Adam’s fucking somebody- somebody here!”

You choke on your whisky, spitting it back into the glass. Angel and Husk both look at you with a raised brow.

“My bad,” is all you say. you can’t think of anything else that would play it off, so you just quietly wipe off your face while Angel recounts his encounter with Adam. You feel an eye twitch- you could strangle that prick for being so conspicuous.

“You’re quiet, Y/N,” Angel says in a teasing tone.

“I just could not care less if I tried,” You say back, firmly but with a shrug, and you hope it suffices as an acceptable explanation, and that you come off as your usual apathetic self. You finish your whisky, and luckily, Angel doesn’t give you any more shit. Slightly unsettled by that interaction, you avoid Adam for the next few days.

Late one evening, everybody’s gone up to their rooms and the hotel is quiet. You’ve already eaten, smoked, brushed your teeth and put on pajamas, but there’s nothing good on TV and you’re bored and high and just want a task to keep busy. So you wander aimlessly into the kitchen and find yourself doing the dishes that Charlie was too stressed out to do earlier.

As you scrub brown charred bits off a pan, you find your stupid weed-addled brain wandering to Adam. You haven’t fought with him in a while, mostly because you’d run away before he had the chance to start, but still. It feels weird, being so calm lately. No wonder you’re bored. It’s the way things used to be at the hotel, before he arrived. You guess you hadn’t realized how used to his presence you’ve gotten. Gross. You cringe at the thought.

Luckily, your phone starts to vibrate on the counter, giving you a distraction. You pick up and hold it between your ear and shoulder without looking at the caller ID.

“Yo, where are you right now?”

Of course.

“Adam? What the fuck, when did you get a phone?” You snort. When you realize you’re smiling you clear your throat and force your face to relax.

“Whatever. Can you come upstairs?”

You pause. He sounds slightly odd.

“What, like, to your room?” You raise an eyebrow. “Why?”

“ohmyfuckinggod- can you not be difficult for fucking once and just do what I ask?” Then, as an afterthought, he adds “Please?”

Damn, okay. You don’t say anything for a moment, thinking maybe you’re just smacked and he’s being normal.

“Suuuure… Just uh, gimme a minute,” You say carefully, putting the dishes down. Then, he hangs up on you. What a dick.

Unbeknownst to you, while you’ve been thinking about him, he’s been thinking about you way more.

You’ve been avoiding him- obviously. Not unexpected, but it pissed him off to no end. He’s fucking Adam! Who are you to ignore him? Aren’t you supposed to be keeping an eye on him, anyway?

By now, the others have started to accept him- including them in their plans, drinking with him, no longer leaving a room when he enters- so he doesn’t really need a chaperone anymore. Despite this, it still feels wrong. Even in a room with every other patron of the hotel, he’d started to notice when you weren’t there.

He didn’t even notice he was starting to miss you at first. It wasn’t until he and Charlie were seated at the bar, and he drank more than he probably should have, that he mentioned you were avoiding him.

“What’dya, miss her?” Husk asked.

“Awww, Adam!” He still remembers the look on her and Husker’s faces. “You are starting to change! That’s so sweet of you!”

And then because she was drunk she kept rambling about it for like 30 minutes, but he doesn’t remember the rest of what she said, just the utter humiliation he felt. He shut up for the rest of the night to avoid spilling his guts any more, but Husk- the annoying fucker- still gives him knowing looks every now and then.

And after Nifty had washed his sheets, and he’d noticed that his pillows lost the scent of cigarettes, perfume, and shampoo you’d left behind, he knew he was royally fucked.

The worst of all, though, is that he feels helpless to feeling these emotions- and even worse, he doesn’t want to stop feeling them. Before he’d even noticed it, he was thinking about you all the time, and he was fine with it. The embarrassment was killing him, even though, supposedly, nobody knew.

On this particular night, he’d probably had just a tad too much beer with his dinner, because when he’d returned to his room and flopped on his bed, there was a little bug in the back of his brain that kept whining about how empty it felt. He tossed and turned for a bit, just wanting to sleep it off, but he eventually gave up, reaching for his phone.

“Adam?” Before you’re finished knocking, Adam jumps up to get the door, pulling you inside quickly. You make a noise of surprise as he scoops you up immediately, not saying anything as he carries you to his bed.

“Damn, needy, huh?” You laugh. This time, it’s him telling you to shut up as he tosses you onto the bed and crawls over you.

You sit up slightly to help him get your shirt off, and then his lips are on your neck, trailing down to your chest as he unclips your bra.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” He says with a casual shrug as his hands run up your torso to grope at your tits.

“mm,” You hum, arching your back into his touch. “missed this?” You smile sarcastically. Missed you, he thinks.

“Sure missed these,” He pushes the thought away and grins back, squeezing your chest for emphasis. He pulls back briefly to rid himself of his own shirt, then bends back down to press more kisses to your flesh. He looks up, staring at your expression as he takes one of your nipples in his mouth, reveling in the whimper he’s rewarded with.

“fuckin’ perfect tits…” He mumbles into your chest before nipping at your skin. You let your eyes shut as his free hand slides down, under the band of your shorts and his finger brushes the hot skin beneath, skimming over your lips. Adam thumbs at your clit through your panties, relishing in the whine he rips from your throat.

Impatiently, you shift your hips up to slide off your shorts and panties, then reach to tug at his belt loops to signal he should do the same. When he looks up and sees the desperate look on your face, he decides not to keep you waiting, and pulls back to rip off his pants and boxers.

You guess avoiding him these past few days has affected you, too, because you’re surprisingly desperate. You sit up, wrapping your fingers around his cock, smearing his arousal across his length, and whatever he had been planning to say dies and comes out a needy garble of nonsense that makes you snicker.

To your surprise, he has no quip as he crawls over you and pushes himself between your legs. He bites back a gasp when you rub the head of his cock between your folds, a groan following a moment after as he begins pushing into you.

Your thighs are trembling by the time he’s fully inside of you, and you wrap your legs around his waist weakly while you adjust to the stretch.

He sits up fully, and from this view, you look stunning. The way you're laid back on his pillow, tears pricking in your eyes, he thinks you look more angelic than anything he ever saw in heaven.

“fuuuck,” He groans, letting his head fall onto the bed as he starts to move his hips.

“Adam!” The way you whine his name is truly sinful, and he feels his dick twitch in response.

“holyfuck, ‘s so big,” The slight burn makes you regret your impatience now, and his face makes you regret stroking his ego. You make a point to ignore his self satisfied laugh, focusing instead on how his cock stretched you open, making you to tighten and release around him. You turn your head, looking at his wicked fucked-out smile that grew wider and wider as his movements got deeper.

You can’t speak, you just moan helplessly as your hands search for anything to grab onto to steady yourself. You throw your hands around his neck and bury them in his now dark wings, in the way you always did. You gripped the feathers tightly and let out a moan and oh, god, he’s not going to last long, he thinks, with you gripping the sensitive feathers like that. He groans again, then his lips find your shoulder, where he leaves messy, open-mouthed kisses trailing towards your neck.

“so fuckin’ sexy, so, so good for me,” you barley even register that he’s speaking, with your entire focus being on the way he moved in and out of you.

“you’re- so beautiful,” he says between grunts. your eyes widen.

“wha-ahh-“ before you can question that, a particularly hard thrust makes the words die in your throat, and you’re clawing to his biceps again.

A warmth of pride erupts in your chest at the way his breathing has turned labored and his grip on you tightens. An arm snakes around your waist, the other under your head, pulling you impossibly tighter against him as he continues to desperately pound into you. The proud smirk you wore is wiped off your face when you feel one hand releases you and his hand trails down, eventually pressing a thumb your clit, rubbing small circles that make you moan and twitch beneath him.

You can’t even warn him before your whole body erupts. You spill over, you lose sense of where and who you are, all the while, Adam pounds into you, strokes you inside and out. You vaguely hear a sudden crash and him mumbling, thanking god that you came before him because seconds later, he’s spilling his own cum inside you with a broken wanton groan.

Adam stills for a moment, panting as he holds you close. When he rolls off you, he keeps one arm around you, pulling you against his chest. Huh. That’s new.

Neither of you say anything. That was… different, than you’re used to with him. You furrow your brows as you think, and find yourself confused. The cogs in your head turning something terrible in your mind, questioning his intentions.

Once you’ve caught your breath, you sit up, pushing away his arm as you go to find your clothes. He frowns, watching you pick your shirt up from the ground and pull it over your head. You looked guarded, like a cornered doe, like you were just waiting for the chance to sprint away.

Adam grabs his own boxers from the floor and pulls them on, quickly crossing the room to where you were. He looks down at you, and feels an odd, tightening in his chest, something he’s felt a lot since falling to hell.

He leans against the door, putting on a cocky smile.

“Soo… this was like a booty call, huh?”

“…Yeah, whatever. See ya,”

[urfavoritedcwhore]

the russian boy//part six

warnings: swearing, mention’s of blood, mention’s of violence

lowercase intended

part six: the deal

i walk out of the bathroom, my thoughts in a 𝚝𝚑𝚎 blur. fuck fuck fuck fuck. why did i do that. why the fuck did i do that. my feet take me outside to the parking lot, im on autopilot. i walk to boris's car and open the drivers side door falling into his lap sobbing. "lucy?", i can hear theo say as i sob into boris's t shirt. "what happened? what's wrong?", boris says lifting me up and walking me to the back seat, placing me and himself back in the car. he looks at my hands, "fuck, are you bleeding?", he says worried. he tries to take one of my hands but as soon as i touches it i recoil back in pain. i shake my head no and look at theo. "it was the girl from english,", i turn my head to boris, "your ex girlfriend.", i say embarrassed. i realize im crying and wipe my clean hand across my cheek. boris looks at theo, "go back inside theo, we leave now. i pick you up later, yes?.", he says. theo, who's mouth is open in horror and confusion, nods and crawls across to the drivers side and leaves the car. boris lifts my chin up, "i take you to my house now, ok? we talk there.", he says before opening the back door and getting back in the drivers seat. the ride home is silent. the only thing i hear is my heart pounding and the thoughts racing through my head. he's going to hate me. i just met him yesterday and have already punched his ex like some crazy obsessed girlfriend. he's gonna get scared and never talk to me again. in a month theo and him will laugh about the crazy bitch they spent the night with one night and freaked out the next day. he pulls into his driveway and gets out of the car. as i hold my head down in shame and anger, he opens the back door. "let's go inside.", he says holding out his hand to me. i grab it, flinching from the pain in my own hand when i do so. we walk inside, my hand still in his as he leads me to the kitchen sink. as soon as he lets go of my hand i cover it with my other. he looks at me, "let me see.", he says looking in my puffy eyes. i bring my hand up, limp, as he takes it and examines it. "it's not broken,", he says, "is good thing, we won't have to go to hospital.", he tells me with a serious yet sympathetic voice. he runs the water at the kitchen sink, and puts my hand under it. i wince in pain as he softy cleans kailey's blood off of it. i'm a horrible person. sure she might have said something's i didn't deserve, but she definitely didn't deserve to get punched for it.    my thoughts are interrupted as he turns off the water and leads me to the small couch in the living room. he picks popchyk, who was peacefully sleeping, up off the couch and places him on the floor. he sits me and himself down and lifts my head up to look at me. "what happened?", he asked in a caring tone. i take a deep breath, "i walked into the bathroom and i swear i didn't even realize it was her. she started saying all this stuff to me, telling me i was a slut, saying that i slept with you, saying that everyone at school would know how easy i am. i promised didn't even make the connection to who she was till i-", he cuts me off. "till you put her in her place.", he says. confusion twists around my face. is he not pissed at me? is he not scared of my outburst? does he not think i'm some psycho bitch? he sees the look on my face and speaks again, "she can be a real bitch. you stood up for yourself. you didn't take her shit.", he says still holding my face. i spit out the first words i can think of, "your not mad?", i say still shocked. this makes him laugh, "ha! mad? no, i'm proud new girl. you've got balls. she's fucking crazy! anyone at school will tell you that.", he says smiling. he seems almost amused? even maybe impressed? "i promise i wasn't being a weirdo crazy bitch when i did it, i was just so..so fucking mad she would talk to me like that.", i say remembering the way she spoke to me. "trust, she's gotten her ass beat plenty times for running her mouth.", he tells me. 

"well why hasn't she learned her fucking lesson yet? boris she was talking about you like you two were...a thing. tell me if there's something there, cause if there is i shouldn't be sharing a bed with you, i shouldn't be wearing your clothes, i shouldn't be-", he cuts me off again, but not with words this time. he cuts me off with a kiss. he pulls away and looks at me, "ive been wanting to do that since yesterday. nothing between me and her. but something between us, yes? i know it's fast but i feel it.". my mind is in jumbles, i don't understand what just happened. i don't understand what to say. of course i feel the same way, but everything is happening too fast. i don't want to rush into something with a kid i just fucking met yesterday. i'm not twelve years old, i don't just get into a relationship with the first guy who shows interest in me. but fuck. there's something special about this russian boy. my body overpowers my mind. i kiss him back.

i pull away as soon as my mind realizes what im doing. "i-i can't be in a relationship right now. i can't be the girl who gets into a relationship with someone she just met. i'm not that type of person.", i stutter, i honestly can't tell if im saying this for him to understand, or for me. he smiles and shrugs his shoulders unfazed by my words. "i guess we won't call this a relationship then, we'll call it...", he thinks for a moment, "a friendship. but the kind where im allowed to do this," he leans in and kisses me again. he pulls away, "and you tell me when you want to call it something different, yes?", he says with a smile. fuck. i look at him as he waits for my answer, "we can't tell anyone, not theo, not anyone at school. not until we figure out if the connection is genuine, or just some random physical attraction. understood?", i say in the most serious tone i can muster. "like secret. yes, i can keep us a secret until you're ready.", he says thinking about my words and taking in exactly what they mean. "it's a deal.", he says holding out his hand. i take his hand , "it's a deal", i say shaking it. "ow fuck!", i say when i pull my hand back. he laughs, "come new girl, let's get you some ice for that right hook.", he says helping me off the couch. this is either going to be amazing, or the worst decision i've ever made.

authors note:

sorry for the short part!

hope you all liked this! i decided to give the people what they want and started to make things between lucy and boris a little more interesting. i was gonna wait a few parts to start their "romantic relationship", but i think this works well considering the tension between them.

[istherewifiinhell]

i kept fucking up so i watched these on 2 diff mornings and couldnt even schedule post them. UM OKAY more eps joelle told me to watch i already forgot what number they are

roasted this sad boy so hard now i will learn why he is so so sad

kouka… kagura family member?

INTRO. FREEZE FRAME. is that sugis guysssssssss is that sugi in a comaaa is that fucking banzai

oboro. THAT MAN. shouyouuuuuu

hair? man??? ALIENS.

THAT MAN

being a pirate is MORE important that ur family. got it boss

damn u shit head did u abandon ur sister in the rain the same way ur father ababanoned you. BREAK NO CYCLES!

karuga girl i think your family sucks maybe???

GIN KINDNESS. FUCKING. uhhh infailable asshole kindness social graces of this place is a shithole but so are we all.

SHINPACHI! ur in this show! and you can speak. thats crazy.

YES GIRL GET UR PTO

GUN ARMS????

SAKAMOOOOOOOTTTTOOOOOO :3

where IS SUGI. IM ALWAYS ASKING THIS.

GUN. most girl design ever to girl but GUN.

banzaiiii no u good bbg?

FUCK OFF OBORO

space ships……..

what happens to That Man some insects will never stop flapping their wings UNTIL THEY REACH HEAVEN (archieval footage: him getting his Ass Beat) i got my wing from THE SAME MAN (that man…), so i know.

yes girl yes time to be soooo normal right

u cant tell sugi shouyou isnt dead. thats. thats his whole idenity there. u know

oboro in this outfit/shot framing… why he kinda….

HEY LITTLE FAIL SON. HEY LITTLE SHITTO.

GJHFGJHG GIVING THIS LITTLE CHILD UR. IMMORTAL BLOOD. I HOPE U LIVE AND HATE ME FOREVER. well. thats gintama isnt it. BUT OKAY. hmmmm. take responisiblity for ur actions

hesssss sooooo little……

IM NO TEACHER… well. uh huh. sure ur not sensei.

nooooooooo nooo u did NOT adopt the dog u hit with ur car who then TURNED U INTO THE FUCKING. GUY. THE THE. GIN.TAMA TRAUMA LINCHPIN GUY. nooooooooo

^_^ mode ACTIVATED.

ROBOT ARM. HOT HOT HOT. OBORO U BEEN HOLDING OUT ON ME

i cant believe im tryna watch these flash backs during a sugi fight. GIRL.

EYE TRAUMA 4 EYE TRAUMA. GIRLS I LOVE U SO MUCH. NEVER BREAK THE CYCLEEEEEEEEEE

a school born under a pine tree, its just you and me. hmm mmh im sure no other white haired child will ever echo words like this back at you. surely not.

LOOK OBORO YOULL HAVE SOOOO MANY LITTLE SIBLINGS. IT WILL BE GREAT. YOULL LOVE IT

are u becoming a devious little killer to save his live. even tho he didnt ask…..

STABBED YOURSELF. TINY CHILD. ohhhh

appearently I HE THOUGHT I WAS DEAD. YEAH. YEAH OBORO. ANY THOUGHT WHY THAT MIGHT BE. MAYBE THE. YOU KILLED YOURSELF AND A BUNCH OF OTHER PPL IN FRONT OF HIM.

i cannot believe. i get how. in concept. okay child raised in. killing world. solves his problems with killing. BUT ITS SO FUNNY GIRL NO ONE ASKED U DO TO THAT. i love you. WHY DID U DO THAT.

okay. okay. okay okay. YOU. YOU DID ALL THAT. so he and his school and ur junior students. GET TO LIVE. "and even tho im not at his side im satisfied" or whatever you said. (sees him and and your junior students. living) NOW HOLD ON. I NEED TO RUIN THEIR LIVES. girl….

okay hang on. "one swore to never betray him again" shot of oboro. "the other swore to bring him back, even if it meant having to kill him again" shot sugi. OKAY BUT. REMIND MEEEEEE. who. WHOOOO killed him. and knew he was gonna come back. cause… I FEEL LIKE IT WASNT SUGI.

ahhhh there was intercuts there but the flashing was too much i guess will never know.

CAN U PASS ON MY LAST WORDS TO MY STUDENTS. WITHOUT YOU I NEVER WOULDVE GOTTEN TO MEET THEM. WITHOUT YOU I NEVER WOULDVE BECOME (SHOUYOU). THANK YOU. sensei has one move and its thanking his beloved eldest daughters for killing him.

ive seen with my own eyes. my junior student im so proud of. actually i cant even clown on you for this trying to kill your fellow students cause you love them so much its textbook in this family. okay. continue.

OH YEA IS SOMEONE GONNA SAY. what utsuro (that man) is

oh hey the theme that has the. one cb bepop reference. ive seen that frame. <- this ended one ep and began the next.

NEXT EP

recap. i heard this. thats how. THAT MAN. became. blah blah.

oh he was not always immortal? or no one knew

DEVIL. GINTOKI. yeah okay. COOL yeah yeah.

his fucking uhhhhhhh anthy swag.

THAT WHY HE GAVE BIRTH? if u say so.

why didnt he just leave the prison. is he stupid. etcetc

okay go on killing spree. sure. thats fair. who hasnt

the one that hated humans. feared humans. longed to be human.they were all me. we love a thesis statement thank you.

WOAH shouyou protagonist eyes moment.

COOOOOOOOL SHOT. UTSURO GIN OVERLAP. ahah. fun tool to help us later.

hey is this the same green guy or a different green guy. cool voice.

everyone wants to use the unkilliable killing machine to their ends. BUDDY they wont even let. (joke pending) buddy he wont even let... himself. use him. to his ends. hmm.

Knows how to make others immortal. SAD OBORO FACE.

(atlana lore) DAMN THATS CRAZY.

WHAT IN THE KINGDOM HEARTS Organization 13 is this room.

anyway utsuro lol. um. damn are u a well looked after and revered gun but not the one who pulls the trigger. sucks bro.

(bunch of shots of cool alien dudes)WOW THATS CRAZY

put him in the saw trap blood extrator. sexual stylez.

lmao he uh. took the hands from ALL OF THEM. and NO ONE NOTICED.

MORE COOLL ALIENS. qwantz comic. i get it now.

shoyou gives BIRTH i get it

i could fight for sensis. That man. or myself

IF U COULD HAVE DONE IT AGAIN. you would just say. HI DAD. IM ALIVE. can i COME HOME NOW. PLEASE???? yeah. you should have. [being a cunt but very moved by the editing of his speech to the. intercuts of the junior students yeah yeah. okay YEAH]

fucking. OF COURSE sugi is there to be like. wow u waisted ur life and died so beautifully im gonna cradle his body so elegantly etcetc.

oh u guys also gave birth. (to utsuro) congrats

zuraaaa just. taking in the extra. big trauma moments info gin is given like a champ. dude. WHAT IS UR persepctive on all this. man.

↳ BUD ARE U GETTING POSSESSED BY SHOUYOU TO SAY ALL THIS. well that would track. WHAT THE HELL. yeah. the becon of hope kill his teacher to say the students the ideals. win the trolley problem. GIN STOP SMILLING AT PPL WHEN THEY DIE (he cant its what he was put on this earth to do)

sakamoto: everyone gave birth to everyone. thank u m.preg expert

kaguraaaaa dad. what. DO U HAVE THE LORE DROP? are u the eight dragons penis fight guy.

ROBOT ARMS

hey sad little gay boy gura brother.

SPACEEEEE SHOT HI HI HI SO BEAUITUFL BEAUTIFUL SHIPS

[dumbdolphin3]

OK THIS IS A RANT WITH ZERO PUNCTUATION IN ALL CAPS AND SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL EPS. 1-4!!!!

OK SO I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THEM AND OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH ITS AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND OH MY FUCKING GOD IM GONNA RANT ABOUT THE CHARACTERS AND THE EPISODES MAYBE IDKKKKK

CHARLIE GIRL YOU ARE SO WHOLEOSME AND I OOVE YOU BUT GODDAMN STOP TAKING PEOPLE’S SHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU AHVE TO BE NICE. ALTHOUGH WHEN YOU WENT DEMON FIRM AT VAL FOR FUCKING ABUSING ANGEL HELLLLLL YEAH THATS MY gIRL ILYSM. AND HER FEELING GUILTY FIR EVERYTHING LIEK IT WAS PARTLY YOUR FAULT BUT NO STOP REVEALING MY OWN PROBLEMS TO ME “YOU FIX EVERYONE’S PROBLEMS EXCEPT YOUR OWN” STOP IT HUSK STOP IT.

SPEAKING OF HUSK MY FAVORITE CHARACTER, MY BELOVED. I OOVE THIS WISE OLD BARTENDER. HIM IN THE 4TH EPISODE… AHHHHHHHHH MY HUSKERDUST HEART!!! AND IF HIS AND ALASTOR’S RELATIONSHIP AND PAST DONT GET DEEPLY DIVEN INTO IN THE SHOW I WILL NOT HESITATE TO FUCKING MAKE JY WAY TO FUCKING HEAD WRITER AND MAKE IT HAPPEN. AND HIM TAKING CARE OF ANGEL. GET FUCKING MARRIED (JKJK I LOVE A SLOWBURN (SERIOUSLY ATYD TOOK LIKE 70 CHAPTERS AT KEAST FOR FEELINGS TO EVEN HAPPEN)) AND HIM RELATING TI ANGELLLL AND THEIR DUETTTTTT!!!

AND NOW ANGEL. MY GOD I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU VAKENTINO YOU DO NOT GET TO HURT MY SECOND FAVORITE CHARACTER AND JUST EXPECT ME NOT TO BRANDISH MY FUCKING KNOFE JUST BCUZ YOU ARE FICTIONAL AND THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY I COULD KILL YOU. I WILL GET A FUCKING ANGELIC WEAPON AND SKEWER YOU. NOW ENLUGH ABOUT THAT SHITHEAD ONTO OMGGGG ANGEL NO ONE CAN BEAT HUSK BUT GODDAMN ILYYYYY HIM AND VAGGIE HAVE A SUBLING RELATIONSHIP AND NO ONE CAN CONVIBCE ME OTHERIWSE. THEY ARE JUDGEMENTAL SHITS WHO HATE EACH OTHER AND WOULD THRIW EACH LTHER IN FRONT OF A CAR BUT WOULD KILL SOMEOBE IF THEY SOMUCH AS LOOKED AT THE OTHER THE WROBG WAY. ALSO IN EPSIDOE 2 HIM BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF SIR PENTIOUS. YES. AND HIM FEELING LEFT PUT UGHHHHHHH!,!

OK SIR PENTIOUS TIME BCUZ HE IS VOICED BY ALEX BRIGHTMAN AND I AM A FUCKING BEETLEJUICE STAN, AND ALSO A FIZZAROLI STAN (HE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TI HELLUVA BOSS AND NO I WILL NOT DEBATE THIS) AND OMG HES SO SILLY HOW DID HE EVER GO TO HELL I CANT HES SO SWEET AND APOLOGETIC. I MEAN HE WAS AN ASSHOLE FOR LIEK TWO MINUTES AND HE DID ONLY APOLOGIZE AFTER GETTING THE SHIT BEATEN OUT IF HIM BUT THEN HE SANG A WHOLE SONG WITH CHARLIE AND HES SO SWEET I CANT- ALSO HIS WHOLE THING WITH NIFFTY SPEAKING OF NIFFTY…

I LOVE THIS LITTLE GREMLIN SHE IS PURE COMEDY GOLD AND SHE IS EVERYTHING. SHE HAS PROBABLY KILLED MORE PEOPLE THAN ALASTOR AND I LOVE THAT FOR HER. JUST WATCHING “INNICENTLY” WHILE ANGEL PLAYED HIS PORN VID… AND HER AND SIR PENTIOUSSSS “OOH HES A BAD BOY” AND THEN HER WALING IN RIGHT AFTER THE MUSICAL NUMBER BEING LIKE “I HATED THAT YOU’RE NOT A BAD BOY ANYMORE” I LITERALLY LOVE HER SHES SO UNDERRATED!!! AND HUSK JUST REFUSING TO SHARE WHAT KIND OF SHIT SHOW SHE IS!!, FUCKING LOVE HER.

ANYWAY VAGGIE AND CHARLIE ARE LITERALLY SO CUTE (I HAVE SOME CHAGGIE FANART I MADE I JUST UGHHHH LOVE THEM) AND VAGGIE IS SO SWEET ALSO HER WHOLE THING IN THE 3RD EPISODE WHERE SHE’S KINDA LIKE SHES A GENERAL IN THE MILITARY? I FEEL LIKE THAT MIGHT BE A POINT FOR THE VAGGIE IS AN EX-EXORCIST (IF THE EXORCISTS ARE STRCTURED LIKE AN ARMY (LOOK AT ME THEORIZING MATPAT WOULD BE PROUD)) ALSO HER BEING READY TO FUCKING KILL ANYONE LOVEEEEEE!!!

UM ANYWAY ITS ALASTOR TIME AND IF ALL THE COMPLEXITIES OF HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE CAST AREN’T EXPLAINED IN DEPTH I WILL FUCKING KILL SOMEBODY (PROBABLY VALENTINO I HATE HIM SO MUCH I JUST WANT TO TAKE A KNIFE AMD-) ANYWAY ALL OF ALASTOR’S MONENTS ARE AMAZING I LOVED THE CALLBACK TO “HA! no” AND HIM AND THE EGG BOIS——— ALSO HIS DUET WITH VOX??? AMAZING AND DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT IT LOW KEY KIND OF SOUNDED LIEK “INSANE” AT SOME PARTS? MY HAZBIN OBESSED MIND ATE THAT SHIT UPPPPP!

WELP THATS PRETTY MUCH ALL I HAVE TO SAY ON THE MAIN CAST ALSO JUST WANT TO MENTION THAT I LOVE HOW WHEN CHARACTERS SING THEY ARE ACTUALLY SINGING!!! LIKE I LOVE IT WHEN MUSICALS ACKNOWLEDGE THE SONGS IT MAKES ME HAPPY

[walkingaftermidnight07]

Kit x Ty Balcony oneshot

ackkk im so bad at writing my little intros to these so i apologize in advance lol

did i wait until new year's to post a oneshot that was requested weeks ago? yes, yes i did. in my defense. im shit at remembering to write stuff. on the bright side, i'm actually pretty proud of this one so....yeah.

anyways, my lovely friend @tys-kitty requested this a couple of weeks ago and I loved the idea so I had to write it!!! i believe it was inspired by a post by @aro-ace-cat-lady but i dont have the original post. whoops.

anyways, this is a KitTy first kiss *and sort of love confession* on the Chiswick balcony.

word count is abt 2k :D

make sure to reblog if you enjoyed it to help get this out to more people thank you very much. I am sending virtual hugs and kisses to all who take the time to reblog :)

if you want any more KitTy content from me, i have a playlist linked here as well as two oneshots of the reunion scene from sobh which are linked here and here. I ALSO TAKE REQUESTS FOR BOTH ONESHOTS AND PLAYLISTS.

anywayssss enjoy :DDDD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes Kit felt like Blackthorn Hall seemed to be closing in on him. The shadows felt like they were growing, wrapping around him. Suffocating him. Despite everything that Emma and Julian had done to fix it up, there was just something about it…

If Kit was being honest, he kind of hated it here. It gave him shivers and made him feel like he was being watched from all directions. He couldn’t tell if it was because of Blackthorn Hall’s history, or because of the fact that it used to be haunted by a ghost, or because there was something demonic about it, lurking in the shadows…

Or maybe it was because of what happened last time he had been here with certain members of the Blackthorn family. And while yes, parts of that had been resolved, Kit still thought often about that stupid day in the kitchen with the stupid gun. And with Ty.

Speaking of Ty, he’d disappeared. He’d left the kitchen this morning at breakfast, giving some vague excuse to the rest of the Blackthorns and Tessa and Jem about some reading for the Scholomance, but Kit had a feeling that was bullshit. And now it was afternoon and Ty was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t reappear for training with Dru and Tavvy. Nor for lunch. And Kit wasn’t sure whether he should look for him or not. Was this normal for Ty?

It hit Kit yet again, as it always did, that he didn’t know Ty anymore. Once, he would’ve known without any hesitation where to find him, and whether or not he’d want to be found. Hell, he’d probably be with Ty already, wouldn’t have felt the need to look for him because he was already being included in Ty’s bubble.

Now…well…they couldn’t avoid each other. Not with everything that had been going on. But apparently they could still go without talking to each other beyond a basic level. Nothing beyond that. Ty wouldn’t even look at him. He’d been at Blackthorn Hall with his family all week, and he could count on one hand the amount of times Ty had even looked in his general direction.

Dru had been telling him he needed to fucking talk to Ty, but he kept holding it off. This was his chance, he might not get another one.

But he was so so scared. What could he even say to Ty? How could he explain to him how he felt? How could he even ask Ty what Ty was feeling? Did he even want to know what Ty was feeling? Kit feared it would hurt too much.

The door to Kit’s room opened and Dru strode in. She stalked right over to where he was lying on the bed, and she grabbed him by the ankle, yanking him off the bed swiftly. He landed on his ass on the ground, staring at her in confusion. She was glaring at him.

“Hey, what was that for??” He groaned, rubbing his hip. “That hurt, you know?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re fine, Kit, don’t be so dramatic.”

Kit stuck his tongue out at her and she cracked a smile. She offered him a hand up and he took it.

“Okay, but seriously, why did you do that?”

“Kit.” She stared at him intently. “My dear friend. My darling friend. My favorite person. My—”

“Okaaayyy, get to the point, Dru,” He grumbled.

She sighed. “I can’t find him, okay? I’m worried. He seemed kind of upset earlier, but I didn’t wanna say anything…but when he didn’t come down for lunch…”

Kit didn’t reply. He just looked at her. “Fine. I’ll look.”

She smiled. “Thank you, Kit.”

He shrugged. “Sure.”

As he left the room she called after him, “And remember what we’ve talked about! Communication!!”

He decided it would be in his best interest to ignore her snarky comment and continued on.

He immediately went to the balcony at Blackthorn Hall, because he didn’t know where else to find him. And oddly enough….there he was.

Ty’s back was to Kit, but Kit could see Ty’s shoulders stiffen as he stepped closer. Ty could clearly tell that he was there. But he didn’t turn around.

An awkward silence settled over them both. Kit stared at Ty’s back as Ty continued to pretend like he wasn’t there. He was running through things to say in his head but nothing came to mind.

“Do you need something?” Ty finally said, straightening. He still didn’t turn around.

“Yes—I mean—No. I mean—” Kit couldn’t seem to find the words. “I just…wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Finally Ty turned to him. He wouldn’t meet Kit’s eyes but he nodded. “I’m fine. You can leave now.”

Kit bit his lip. He should’ve expected this, this harsh dismissal. After everything, he shouldn’t have expected anything else.

But he didn’t want that to be it. This was his chance. To try to fix everything.

So he took a step forward.

Ty furrowed his brows. “I said you can leave me alone now.”

“I heard you, Ty,” Kit said softly. He took another step closer. He leaned against the balcony railing next to Ty. “But I think I’m going to stay out here, with you. To keep you company.”

Ty chewed on his lip, his expression torn. He looked confused, and kind of…nervous. “Are you—have you…um. Nevermind.”

“Hmm?” Kit asked, his heart starting to beat a little faster, anxious to know what Ty wanted to say.

“Nothing, sorry,” Ty said. Kit glanced over and noticed that Ty’s hands were clenched on the railing.

Fuck it, here was his chance.

“Ty.”

Ty turned his head a little quicker than Kit suspected he meant to. “Yes?”

“I forgive you,” Kit said softly. Now it was him who couldn’t meet Ty’s eyes. His stomach was all fluttery as he waited for Ty’s response. 

“What?”

“A while ago, you asked me how long it would take for me to forgive you and I told you I didn’t know,” Kit continued, closing his eyes as he remembered that horrible day, remembered his harsh words to Ty. He’d still been angry then. Still been hurt. Still felt like it was impossible to love or be loved. Now he realized how wrong he’d been. He knew now that he still loved Ty, just like he had when they were fifteen. Like he always would. His anger had subsided and all he felt when he thought back to those interactions was regret. He wished he’d been there for Ty when Ty had needed him most. “Well, now I know.”

“Kit.”

Kit turned slowly to face Ty. “Yeah?”

Ty reached out and grasped Kit’s hands. “You had every right to hate me. I know that now. I shouldn’t have expected you to forgive me. You still have every right to hate me.”

“But I don’t,” Kit blinked. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you, Ty. I—”

“Don’t say it,” Ty said. “Please.”

Kit froze. His hands dropped from Ty’s. If he was honest, he hadn’t expected Ty to say it back. At least not in the way he wanted Ty to. But it still stung, not even being allowed to get the words out.

Ty peered at Kit’s face, and his own face fell. “I’ve offended you, haven’t I?”

“No, no you’re fine,” Kit said, aware how hollow his voice sounded. But he couldn’t help it. He was embarrassed all over again. “I can’t expect you to reciprocate, can I? Some things just aren’t meant to be—”

Ty’s brows furrowed. He looked confused. Then his expression became one of determination.“No, sometimes, I think they are.”

And then Ty grabbed Kit gently, and pulled him in for a kiss.

Every emotion flooded through Kit at once. This was the last thing he’d expected from this conversation. But now here he was, Ty grabbing him by the shirt, their lips pressed together—

And his entire brain was malfunctioning. He couldn’t form coherent thoughts. All he knew is that he liked it (perhaps too much) and that he was kissing Ty back.  He didn’t touch Ty, instead he gripped the balcony behind him, letting Ty take the lead. He only wanted whatever Ty wanted; nothing more, nothing that could be out of Ty’s comfort zone.

Kit had expected Ty to be more hesitant, but he wasn’t. He seemed almost desperate, like he was afraid Kit would push him away. And though Kit had kissed boys before, this was different. This was Ty. And any other person he’d ever kissed was completely and utterly forgettable to him in comparison to Ty. In fact, he had forgotten them. All he could think was Ty.

Then he heard the sound of someone coming onto the balcony. A voice followed the sound. “Kit, are you out here—”

Ty and Kit broke apart and turned to the voice. It was Tessa….with a sleeping Mina in her arms.

Tessa was staring at them, surprised. Her surprise turned into a small smile.

“Am I interrupting anything?”

Ty let go of Kit’s shirtfront and Kit straightened up. “Um, no. Hi…”

“Hi, Kit,” Tessa said, outright smirking now. Kit’s cheeks flushed bright red and he noticed that Ty was looking everywhere but at Kit or Tessa. “Sorry about that. I was coming to ask if you wouldn’t mind putting Mina to bed for her nap…but you seem busy so I’ll do it. No worries.” She turned and started walking away. She called back over her shoulder with an amused voice, “You kids have fun, see you later. I’ll make sure no one bothers you.”

Kit wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. That was embarrassing to say the least.

Ty coughed.

Kit turned back to him. “I’m so sorry–”

Ty pulled him in for another kiss. This one was just a quick brush of lips but it was enough to shut Kit up and offer a sheepish smile.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” Ty said, sounding almost surprised to hear the words come out of his mouth. “So that’s what all the fuss is about.”

Oh.

“It was better than I was expecting,” Ty mused. “Probably because it was you.”

“So that means—”

“I liked it, Kit,” Ty said, moving so that he was leaning on the balcony next to Kit. He brushed his hand against Kit’s ever so slightly. “I like you. I never understood what people meant by that until you. But now, I understand what that means. I understand that feeling.”

Kit rubbed his other hand over his burning face to try and bring the color out of it. “I—I don’t know what to say.”

Ty turned to him. “Yes, you do. You’re just afraid to because I cut you off earlier. But I only did that because I wanted you to know how I felt first.”

“Ty….” Kit said slowly. “Did you really mean it when you said that some things are meant to be?”

“Yes, of course,” Ty replied. “Of course I meant it. I always mean what I say, especially when it comes to you. It’s taken me a lot longer to get there, but I know how I feel now. And I would never even consider lying to you about those feelings, because they involve you too. And because I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I love you, Ty,” Kit said after a moment of processing Ty’s words. “I’ve always loved you, ever since we were kids. I never stopped. And I never will.”

Ty rubbed his eyes, and Kit realized Ty was crying a little bit.

“Can I hug you?”

Ty nodded, and Kit slid his arms around Ty’s shoulders. Ty held onto Kit tightly. They stood like that for a long time, even after Ty had stopped crying. Kit suspected that Ty was trying to make up for three years wasted. And he was completely fine with that. Nothing was better than the feeling of Ty’s arms around him, knowing that Ty felt something for him. He didn’t want to call it love necessarily, because it was Ty’s decision to call it that and he hadn’t yet, but it was something. And Kit would take something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

thanks for reading, lovely human!! plz reblog, like, and comment if you enjoyed!!!

[julie-schwieters-supremacy]

i lowk js left everyone on read and i fucked shit up with one person aka g and now hes mad but like its my fault this time cos i was so!!! rude !!!! and bitchy!!! for like no reason bahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahsdkAHJFADKSJGHSDJKH anyways yeah so now im playing online games like a loser cos i was like really mean to him and then i was like wanna call like an hour later n he was like nah im fucking good so theres that yayyyyyy im so happy !!!! like yay !!!!!!!!!!!! so proud of myself ykyk i love when people are mad at me and FGSKDCJHG people keep ignoring me haha !! but its fine !! im fine !! yesyesyeysyeyseyeyyseysye LMAO SKGJSFGHKJHYAYAYSASFKSFJGHFGJKBNSKJFGH im actually really fucking sad and i have swimming tomorrow so im gonna drown in the depths of the waters and i cant even sh KSFGJHSFJKGH YAY !!!!!!! i love fucking shit up why is my life so fucking complicated what the fuck !!! my friends dont even like me !! hahahhaha yayyyy i love when that happens like i know ima bad friend to some friends and some friends are bad friends to me but im still sad when they hangout without me and make it obvious !!! like whyd you choose her over me ahahahahaha LOL ANWAYS IM DOING GREAT ahahahaha.// why are u ignoring me SDKGJSGH i wasnt tryna be weird on purpose !!!!! i wasnt tryna be mean i swear.... like i why am i bad luck !!!!! other people are just so lucky with their friends and school and pets and family and they just dont get it !!! and then i make ONE small comment and mess up and they have a go at me/////like i was just tryna help !! i thought it was funny i knew you were joking....of course.... HAH WHY DO YOU HATE ME////////i was tryna explain stuff to you....why wont you get it!!! like just shut the fuck up and move on if you dont get it !!! dont be mad i swear i was just syaing im sorry i speak without thinking !! but its fine !! it is so fine i am doing great i aM ABOUT thiiiiiiissssssss LOCSE KEYHJGFKHGRUK CLOSE TO LOSING MY MIND WHAT THE SHIT BRO also why the fuck are vapes so expensive like i aint spending $60 that ion even have !!! on one vape i should just buy cigs at this point!?!?!?!? HAH who cares if my lungs turn grey and i die in 2 years i sure hope i do !!!!! yayyy fun

[orcelito]

ok im looking back at the WIP for libero a due chapter 3 and. god. i still fucking love this SO much.

posting a scene excerpt of it here (under the cut) bc im really proud of this actually. and i want people to see it.

Check Out my violinist akechi band au excerpt, HERE:

Only after the water was off and Goro was grabbing a paper towel did Kurusu speak. "Akechi, what happened back there?" 

Goro took his time blotting at his mouth so he could think. He didn't know how much he should say, nor how much Kurusu would be willing to hear. He still wasn't certain he wouldn't just break down crying if he thought about it too much. 

… But Kurusu was here. As promised, he came to his concert. After all of his help this week, maybe he deserved a bit of an explanation. 

With a sigh, Goro wadded up the paper towel and threw it into the trash can. "That was a producer and his executives. They want to recruit me." 

Kurusu's voice was confused as he replied, "That's… good, isn't it? I thought that was what you wanted."

What he wanted, huh? 

Goro shook his head, still not looking up at him. "What I want doesn't matter here. It's what needs to happen, but I…" He thought back to the way the marketing officer looked at him and bared his teeth in a grimace. "Everything about this is fucking awful." 

"… 'What needs to happen'? What do you mean?"

Goro huffed a bitter laugh. "Exactly what I said. I need to sign onto someone before I graduate. I don't have any other options." 

There was a pause, and then Kurusu let out a soft sigh. "Can you explain it in a way that makes sense? Why are you talking like you don't have a choice here?" 

Goro thinned his lips, clenching his hands in and out of fists as he thought. "It's… It's just my circumstances. I don't have a choice." 

Kurusu took a step closer, though he didn't try to touch him again. "Please, Akechi. Tell me what's going on." 

Tentatively, Goro looked up at him… and found him staring back in that painfully caring way he always did. 

Goro fucking hated him. 

Clenching his fingernails into his palms, Goro answered, "I'm under contract. I mentioned that I have a sponsor. This is the stipulation. I have to sign onto a producer by the time I graduate, or else I am going to have to pay all his monetary assistance back in full." 

Kurusu blinked in surprise. "You… what? Why would he…?" 

Goro snarled, "Because he's an opportunistic piece of shit that knew I didn't have any other choice." He began clenching and unclenching his fists again. "It was this or starving, and he knew that. I figured it'd be worth it, figured it wouldn't be this hard to get into the industry, but it's fucking difficult." He let out a bitter laugh. "And he doesn't care. I bet he wouldn't care even if I had to suck dick to make it happen."

"You- wait, what?" 

Goro began angrily pacing back and forth across the small space. He continued clenching and unclenching his fists. "That's the standard, of course. You don't make it far in show business unless you're well-connected, extremely talented, or great at sucking dick. I'm a dirty fucking orphan, so of course I'm not well-connected. I've refused to let any of them touch me, so sex isn't an option. This just leaves talent, which isn't nearly as important as you'd expect it to be." He breathed another bitter laugh. "I've leaned hard into talent, practicing until my fingers have nearly fallen off, but even then, it's not enough. It always comes back to my stupid- fucking- looks-" 

In anger, he kicked the wall- then again, this time even harder- 

"Akechi," Kurusu called. "Slow down. Please."

Goro's breaths were coming in labored little huffs. His palms stung from how deep his fingernails dug, and his foot ached… kind of a lot, actually. 

Fuck. What a display he was making to the man he was falling in love with. 

Goro made a frustrated noise at the back of his throat. "I'm just- for all the fucking work I put into this, thousands upon thousands of hours, they're still only considering me because of my looks. They don't care about how skilled I am. They just want a pretty face they can sell." He laughed, loud and bitter. "I bet they're hoping they can wear me down, in time. Because in the end, all anyone ever fucking wants is to use me." 

To his bitter dismay, his eyes were starting to burn. It caused one more flare of anger, spurring him to kick the wall as hard as he could- 

Fuck. Involuntarily, he let out a wounded noise at how much it hurt-

"Akechi." A hand wrapped around Goro's bicep, pulling him from the wall. "Please. Stop hurting yourself." 

Surprisingly, the touch didn't make him want to tear off his own skin this time. Instead, he kind of just wanted to cry. 

Fuck it. Deciding he was too upset to care, Goro turned with the movement to crumple against Kurusu's chest. He fought against his tears even as he rested his forehead to Kurusu's shoulder. In a harsh whisper, he told him, "I'm just so fucking tired of this, Kurusu." 

Kurusu froze. Then ever so slowly, he released Goro's bicep, only to wrap his arms around Goro's shoulders in a hug. 

Ah. That was the final straw. 

In horrid, choked sobs, Goro began to cry. All of his anger and despair washed over him, leaving him wondering for the millionth time how the world could be so cruel. 

Kurusu let out a slow breath, then tightened his hold around Goro's shoulders to squeeze him in a firm, steady hug. 

It was comforting in a way Goro hadn't experienced in a long, long time.

[steelthroat]

The fanatic-crazy-eyed-Catholic-mother strikes again, wuhuuu! I knew that she couldn't contain herself much longer!

So... here in Italy there's this fucking military asshole who wrote a book. This book contains things that would make the Republicans smile like proud fathers. And obviously, all the news outlets just NEED to invite this piece of shit to "debate" his fascist opinions on every television channel ever. I fucking hate the word debate nowadays omg, forget the Greek philosophers, those debates don't even exist anymore, they're just the perfect excuse to let fascists speak their mind freely and hate minorities publicly.

Now, what happened today? So we have both our Literature/history teacher (let's call him MVP because he's great) and the Fanatic in our classroom. And MVP makes a comment about how he can't stand this dude and how ridiculous it is that our media has made him famous and now he's trying to get into politics (I fucking hate it here, our piliticians are getting too many inspirations from the USA and I reallydon't like it)

And this woman... THIS GODFREARING CREATURE starts saying how "something in his liglfe must have led him to his conclusions and ideals" and "maybe he is voicing what Italians think" and then... the anecdote. She tells us how her son had reacted to seeing so many foreigners when they were on holiday on a famous ITALIAN location. And her logic conclusion was that "for having such a reaction he must be tired of the forced incusivity and kids must feel affected by this" or some shit instead of worrying about our politic landscape nowadays.

So now both me, ALL my classmates, and the MVP are looking at her like the freak that she is and each other trying to suppress either laughter or homicidal intents. I'm done with the load of bullishit she's spewing, and I say

"Well, no, I don't think that's the problem... the priest who married my parents was black, I've played for years with my mother's best friends sons who are Japanese, I literally learnt what racism was when im elementary school they thought me about ANTIRACISM and geography. So, no, kids don't just inherently hate foreigners if they aren't taught to in the first place. Also, no. This is not some kind of vox populi, and it's worrying that he felt so comfortable writing this kind of book"

Listen, I probably wouldn't win a Twitter argument with this, but that's what I felt I needed to say. And she doesn't even care, it doesn't affect her, she ignores what I said and keeps talking about how her viesw might be interpreted as "bigoted racist or homophobic BUT..."

It's not even about age, I WILL NOT FREAKING EXCUSE HER. She's not even 50 probably, and the MVP is almost 60+ but is one of the smartest, open minded people I've ever met in my entire life and a far better parent than her. Fuck it those children of hers are either going to become bigoted assholes or will end up developing religious trauma.

She's failed (at least me) as a teacher.

[mangoposts]

OKAY im finally alone so TW for anyone reading this, i will be mentioning rape & knives/scars.

i'll try to make this short but the summer before i went into 10th grade, i had hung out w this guy and i really did just wanna hang out and go for a drive, but he thought i wanted to hook up. i definitely did not because i was a virgin and never done anything with a guy at all. he was a senior and a lot bigger than me and forced me into having sex w him, i kept saying no and stop and take me home but he just kept getting angrier and eventually held a knife to my like pubic bone? pelvis? just down there idk. so i caved. i hated every second and cried but i stopped fighting. i haven't had sex since then, im 20 years old now and i haven't even been fingered by a guy, never given or received head, and never given a handjob. and im honestly really embarrassed about it and wanna have sex with someone SO BADLY but im scared.

the main reason i'm scared isn't because i'm scared i'll be forced into it again, although that is absolutely in the back of my mind. i'm completely fine now and over the situation, but it does worry me that i could get overwhelmed and the guy im with wouldn't wanna stop. but my bigger fear which im 100x more embarrassed of, is what a guy is gonna think when he sees my pussy. now hear me out bc i know that sounds weird😭 but all throughout high school i always heard guys make comments about how ugly this girls pussy is or how gross this girls is and it terrified me. but now i'm even more scared because of what that guy did to me, he literally cut into my skin and left scars. what is a guy gonna think when he sees that? how am i supposed to explain all this? i just i have a lot of questions and concerns but i'm a fucking 20 year old "virgin" if i can even call myself that, i've technically had sex but i didn't want it so idk if i even count that as a body. i just have been panicking over this for forever and have no idea what to do, if you have any advice at all i'd really appreciate it so so much

- 🌙

Oh baby :-(. Im so sorry this happened to you. You were really young and you didn’t deserve that whatsoever, if you can feel it im giving you a hug thru the phone. Im so so so sorry and i hope that man is dead in a ditch somewhere 🤍

On the other hand, i promise you you have nothing to worry about at all. Im telling you rn and i know it sounds so corny and lame and everybody always says this but its true, the right person is not going to judge you for anything and im so Fr when i say that. Trust when i was in high school guys would say all kinda stupid shit like that about girls in the school and it never bothered me because i knew there was at least one person out there who wouldn’t care about anything other people would talk shit about, and i was right 🤷🏻‍♀️ There’s so many people out there who would find u beautiful the way u are and just because some guys in the past thought in that immature goofy ass way doesn’t mean every guy will you know what i mean?

Babe, my only advice for you is to stay the way you are, hang out w ur frennies and the right person is gon come trust. It’ll come when you aren’t looking for it or worrying about it, when you least expect it to be honest. What you went through was horrible and it might be the worlds way of saying you gotta give yourself time before exploring that area of your life yanno. There’s NOTHINGGG wrong with being a virgin at any age let alone 20. You’re still young and you have ur whole life ahead of you. Don’t worry about this, when it happens it’s gonna be fine you’ll see it

Thank you so much for trusting me to be vulnerable with, im sorry if im treating you too delicately im just speaking thru the soul rn 😭 And again im sorry this happened to you. Even if i dont know u i love u a lot and im proud of you for moving past the situation despite how hard it might’ve been

Also im sorry for taking awhile to get back to you, i just scrolled through my inbox and finally found this

[gay-little-bitch]

My notes that I wrote while watching season 2 (not very detailed because I didn’t wanna miss anything but it definitely gets my feelings across)

TAO IS SUCH A LITTLE BITCHHH

DAIRY MILK OREO BAR

IMOGEN NO DONT DO IT

OHNONONONONO WHY ARE THEY SITTING NEXT TO EACHOTHER

Mr farouk…!!!!

BENJAMIN WHIPE THE SMILE OFF

BEN STOP IT YOU BITCH

NONONONONONONONO

OMG YAYYY CHARLIE

BABIES

AAAAAAAAAAA AWWWWW

OUT OF MY LEAGE 

Issac baby😕

It’s okayyy hun you weren’t ready

TAO nonononono

I love that Imogen is part of the group!!!

You can do it nicky 🖤

HAHAHAHHAHAHA oh no

AWWWWW

NO IMOGEN NO

AWWW IM SO PROUD OF HIM

Jane 👀

Tori my love 🥰

Charlie isn’t doing well…

I HATE JANE

DAVID 🤮

NO IMOGEN STOP IT

Aww Elle baby

SPEAK UP ABT IT BItCH

I HATE DAVID

THE JUMPER

NAOMI AND FELIX

FUCKING IMOGEN

ON NO BABY

Charlie sweet boy ur gonna get in trouble 

OH NO NOT DAVID

JANE YOU LITTLE BITCH

CHARRRR please eat baby

Oh noooo baby don’t be sad!!!

OMG TAO FINALLY

NOT THE GOOD MATES

AJSJSJJDHDHDJJDH MRS SINGH

THE ACE BOOK

NO DARCY BABY NO

THE TEACHERS

OH MY FUCKING GOD TAO IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUUU

TAOELLE OMGOMGOMGOMG

TORI AT A PARTY???

Darcyyyyyy

Nickkkkk nicky baby :/

NOOOOO ELLE AND TAO STOP IT

OH NO NICK BABY STOP ITTTT

HE CALLED HIM CHAR 🥰

PARIS TRIP BUS!!!!

ISSAC BABYYYY NOOO

FRENCH NICK

“I dIdNt MeAn Do ItTtTt” EEEEEE

Ben doesn’t even like her 🙄

DARCY STOP FEELING UP FRENCH WOMEN STATUES

TARADARCY IN BALLET SCENE 🥰

JONESY

CHARLIE DO THAT BABY PLEASE

BE MORE THAN FRIENDS

OH MY GOD BEN DIE

BEN DONT CALL HER A BITCH

ARE YOU INTO GIRLSSSS IMOGEN??

NICK AND TAO FRIENDSHIP

LOVE BITE SCENE

THE MORNING AFTER THE SCENE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BABY QUEEN

LEAVE CHARLIE ALONE

OMG BEN SHUT THE FUCK UP

FUCK YEAH HARRY

OH NO TAO

LITTLE TAO AND CHARLIE

THE HUGGGGG

THE LOUVE 

HES GONNA PASS OUT OH NO

DARCY OH NO UR MOM

HE PASSED OUT🥲

THEY KISSED HOLY SHIT

THE TEACHERS AGAIN AAAA

Nick talks to charlie abt the eating :(

THE MON AMOUR SCENE

EPISODE 6

MEETING NICKS DAD

NICKS FACE WHEN TAO TELLS HIM

TEACHERS TEACHERS TEACHERS

TARAS BIRTHDAY

THE BOOKS

GAYGAYGAYGAY COUPLE

RECHARGING SCENE

PARTY TIMEEEEE

BEN NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE

OH NO JAMES

ISSAC BABY 😕😕

HARRY NO

YAYYYYYY CHARLIE

TRUTH OR DAREEEEE

OMG THE TAO AND CHARLIE KISS HAHAHAHAHAHHA

OH NO NOT JAMES NOT THE KISS

NOT BEN NOOOOO

AHHHHHH GAY BITCHES 🥰

THEY TOLD THEM!!!

DARCY IS GONNA VOMIT AAAAA

AAWWWWWWW BABIES 🥰🥰

Nickyyyyy :((( babyyy

TAOELLE AND IMOGEN AND SAHAR

Taradarcy 🥰 

SHE SAID ITTTT

TEACHERS KISSSSS

THE TEACHERS SHARE A BEDDDDD!

MY GIGGLY BOYSSSS

WHY IS EVERYONE SADDDD (not n+c or t+e) 

TARA DARCY HUGGGSSSS

BEN DIE THE FUCKING AUDACITY

TAO DANCING AND TELLING HIS MOM

OMG STFU DAVID

Tori and Charlie 🥰🥰

BEN FUCKING DIE STOP

Paris squad 🥖

Darcy :(

Aww Issac. hunnn

OH MY GOD BEN DIE

NARLIE PROM

ELLE GOT IN

DARCY IN A SUIT

Issac is gonna come outtt!!! Kinda

PREACH ISSAC!!!!!!!

GAY ART EXHIBIT

Oh nooo taooooo babyyyy

ARO ACE HELP FOR ISSAC!!!!

Poor Darcy 😕

IMOGENNNN… Sahar 😉

OMG ELLE PAINTED THE GROUP 🥰

OH MY GOD BEN WHY ARE YOU HERE???????!!??!?!?

FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

POP OFF CHARLIEEEEEE!!! 🖤🖤

THE DINNER AHHHHHHHH

DAVID STOP

YAY TORI

YOU CAN DO IT NICK

YAYYYYYYYYY ABAHSHSHDHDHJDH

KICK THE FUCKING PHONE TORI!!!

OMG HE LOOKED UP ED’S 😭😭

I HATE DARCYS MOM

COLORS OF YOUUUUU

OMG NICKKKK 🥰

TAO AND ELLE AND BF AND GFFFF

PARTY SET UPPP

GAY TEACHERSSSSSS

Charlie baby please eat :(

I love the tao and nick friendship 🥰

Tao opening up :)) 

THEY LOOK SO HANDSOME IN THEIR PROM OUTFITS

Poor darcy 😕

OMG ELLE LOOKS SO GOOD AAAAAAAAAAAA AND TAO AHSHSHDH

NICK AND RUGBY MATESSS

OMG BELLA BELLA AAAAAAAAA

OMG ISSAC AND THE ACE BOOK

TEACHERSSSSSSS

OMG IMOGEN AND SAHAR

ITS GONNA HAPPEN HOLY SHIT

I’m so happy for nick and charlie 🥰🥰

Oh no tara is gonna see darcy’s mom

Darcy baby :(((

TARADARCY

MY BABIES ARE HAVING THEIR OWN LITTL ENIGHT TOGETHER

THE LITTLE BABY KISSES

OH MY GOD OH NO A DEEP TALK

Oh it was The talk

NICK ALMOSY SAID I LOVE YOU

UR SO PRETTYYYYYYY

YOU CANT END IT LIKE THAT

[random-bi-writer]

My Reaction to Thanks To Them

Took me two days to finish my projects first before watching this but it is definetely worth the antagonising wait.

Spoilers for those who haven’t watched it yet.

NO. WHY WOULD YOU START WITH THAT?! FROG DAMMIT, IM ALREADY CRYING AND IT’S ONLY BEEN THREE SECONDS

And once again, Anne made me laugh.

Wait...there are sponges that aren’t yellow?

Get Some Therapy Challenge: Failed.

Nah, that british gay man who dresses like a straight person ain’t human to begin with.

Goddamit, of course he shows up.

I see a picture of what seems to be Luz slapping a cake on her dad’s face.

Child, you need to get out more often.

Why would they freak out- oh. right, Abominations...

I wonder if Disney let a full season, we would have a more in depth scene about Vee meeting the others for the first time instead of this.

Hallway of pictures. There’s the dad throwing baby Luz in the air (that explains a lot about Luz) Chat Noir cosplay, 

Hate that I can see the dad’s full face, but it’s too fucking small for me to stare at.

Nevermind.

Pfft. I’m sorry, I had to rewatch this 5 times to make sure I’m not watching a fanmade amv instead of the episode. Also nice to include Hooty photobombing.

The amount of sadness with the drawings is just...

Designs. Gus, yes. Willow, maybe. Amity, maybe less dark colors and ditch the hat. Hunter, goofy boy.

Mirabel Madrigal.

VEE! MY BABY BOY!

Damn, that explains the haircut. Still miss the ahoge, though.

They’re so cute, especially Amity, I want to pinch her cheeks.

I prefer the non-romance cute. Lumity is so cute and wholesome that it’s disgusting.

Aww, the boys are having fun.

Willow looks like a mom with her hair down.

Is that spanish, I hear? I’m so proud.

I thought you were over that.

So Willow likes photography now.

Aww, Hooty’s there.

Vee is more babey when he speaks spanish.

Lmao. You’re gonna have three more kids once you meet King and the Twins. Maybe four, depending on the Collector. Or five, since Eda is kinda of a child sometimes. Wow, you’re gonna be busy.

Wouldn’t people find it suspicous to see four kids walking around town during school hours? Why aren’t they going to school, then again, it would cost a lot.

Babeys.

Luz, for the love of all things holy, get some therapy.

Pfft. Luz what the heck?

Aww, it’s nice to see other humans liking Luz...that better not be a prank...

Damn, imagine if Luz lost her dad from a car crash, this scene would have been really something.

Ugh, gross.

Dang. Nice, Hunter.

Babey Boy.

The back cover looks gay.

Flashbacks? Nice.

For some reason, I’m thinking of Marcy.

Oh, so it’s a nightmare.

Manny Noceda. Am I getting that right?

I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea what I should say about Camila’s nightmare.

Shit. I know this a serious moment, but look at the picture of Camila and Vee being cute together. Probably the last thing I should focus on.

You know that feeling where you feel like something’s bad is going to happen? I’m getting that from the egg.

Oh, god. That is disgusting and horrifying.

Hunter, no.

LMAO, Amity’s face!

Lmao, the Huntlow shippers are getting fed

Belos is gonna show up when Hunter’s alone, isn’t he?

God dammit, why am I always right? Can’t I be wrong for a change?

Lmao, Willow.

Are they watching Amphibia?

Gus is afraid of firelights. Amity is a mood with the circles.

WOLF! TO BE LIKE KING!

Siblings!

Is the shadow fucking necesarry

Luz looks weird smiling like that.

Wait, that black haired actress looks like Luz.

NO

Lmao, that’s saying it midly.

Huh, both of the siblings eyes glowed blue.

Fucking hell, he’s inside of him.

Damn, they went hard at the animation again.

Oh damn, having a basilisk on your team really is good.

AHH THAT WAS CLOSE. TOO CLOSE!

No...no...No! Hunter and Flapjack deserve to be happy together!

Lumity call back, I don’t remember which episode..

Aww...I thought Vee would be coming.

Lmao, Vee.

So Thanks to Them is just Season 3A jumbled together.

Wait...Thanks to Them....Thanks to Disney...LMAO

[cerebrobullet]

Sharpe Rewatch 4- Sharpe's Enemy (1994)

tonight's theme is:

(this is a lie, tonight's theme is actually me crying over teresa)

alright, starting off I have strong feelings about harper sitting on top of his captain, protectively pushing him back down to the ground with a big 'ol hand on the back of his head. then sharpe just kind... accepting his fate and curling up in the middle of a pile of his boys. i cannot label what exact emotion it gives me, but OH BOY it's an Emotion.

side note: sharpe says the chosen men were acting under his orders so.... were his orders to.... have fun? lol

fuck i take it back i AM gonna cry over this epsidoe. look at how happy sharpe and teresa are!!!!

i DID forget just how much teresa roasts farthingdale for insulting her hubby. amazing, #realtionshipgoals #girlboss, i'm gonna gif it later.

sharpe telling harper "don't name it after me" about his kid with ramona, only for sharp turn around and name his own son patrick. excuse me, rude.

i also hadn't noticed before that teresa is sewing a lil rifleman doll and now i want to cry again.

She gives it braids later? so i guess it's supposed to be of antonia in her daddy's uniform ;A;

now a bit i still don't understand is the, like, cooking lesson aside that happens in the middle of the hostage exchange? ... that's it, idk, it like doesn't effect the plot at all. just weird to me.

but, ah, anyway, frederickson!!! i love him! i wish he showed up more often, but i appreciate him most in sharpe's revenge, doing all the leg work to save sharpe's ass. he's just fun! i just think he's neat!

sharpe literally swallowing the urge to burst out laughing tho *chef kiss*

but the "why do i always have to wear the dress, sir?" from perkins makes me wonder just how many times they've played the "disguise one of us in a dress" card and why i didn't get to see every single situation this was their answer to. robbed, robbed of good content.

hey now let's talk about a cinematic parallel that i hate. it's this:

( : im fucking dying and i hate everything

"I lied. my wife taught me. she taught me many things."

*lays down on ground, cries fucking eyes out* THIS STILL ISN'T FAIR. just the IDEA of it- sharpe already has an Emotional Thing about the guy who taught him to read and write, and then he gets himself a badass literal #girlboss wife who teaches him how to speak french, teaches him how to chill out a bit as leader, teaches him such soft things. a woman who's been through rough shit, just like he has. he's so proud and amazed of her, every time he speaks of her. and then it's... just all gone.

him kissing the sword as he salutes teresa's grave makes me physically unwell

now, i do want to know how duco manages to keep his head when literally every single thing he claims in regards to sharpe ends up biting him in the ass. you'd think after the second time maybe people would, idk, not trust him judgement...

ok. i'm... im just gonna sit here and cry now.

this was somehow worse the second time around. probably because i'm going through theses so much slower. and i like it most when sharpe has someone to come back to, rather then doing the new girl of the week thing. though jane is.... well. jane is jane. we don't talk about jane.

[ii-viixx]

tw: venting, self-harm/sh, blood mentions, mommy issues ranting (if that’s an actually trigger, sorryyyy), family issues, ect

///

///

sorry for this long ahh vent or wtvr the fck i wrote was. also idk i jst started to add other stuff to it, i got bored & jst wanted to vent even more. sorry if it doesn't make much sense, its 4 in da morning

/////

Why’d I let him do that. Did it even happen.. ?? Every day that I don’t speak about it,, or when I do it feels like guilt swallowing me whole. Was it real? Was it real? Was it real? Was it real? FUCK…. Or is it another of my little ass stories. Fuck, I’m so stupid. So very stupid. FUCKKKK !!!! UGHHHH. Why’d I let him touch me,,,, he touched me he touched me he touched me he touched me… Maybe??? IDK,, I wanna rip the skin off my flesh & cry.. fuxking start laughing like the fucking Joker when I do. Did it even happen? Did it? Did it? Did it? Did it? Was it real Was it real was it real was it real… I lwk be feeling like that one line, it went smth like: “pretty enough to be sexualized, but not pretty enough to be loved” 🤯 Lmfaooo (am I going crazy???? idk am i am i am i am i am. no im not… right? maybe i do need mental help, maybe I really do…). I get stared often. It’s strange but I sometimes like the attention. I sometimes think that I’m not worthy of love. It’s weird being horny almost all the damn time? is it cuz i’m a teen or did my constant exposure & most likely SA experience fuck me so bad that I became hyper sexual???

.. Gosh, I feel like a freak whenever I think of myself in that way… yk that reminds me.. when I was younger, around 7,,, I was taking pictures or jst plain staring at my budding chest… Even though I wasn’t deflowered, I still felt like my petals fell anytime I was stared at by older men or getting touched by him,,, Him him him.. Him. Did he did he did he did he? I need answers. Maybe I’m just sick in the head for thinking he touched me,,, did he? Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. In the end we were jst kids. Enough abt that. Let’s go onto how I became who I am today. I grew up to a single mother. Typical. My dad left us before I was even born (rude but whatevs). We moved at least 3 times before settling down. Whoo… She was a fucking mess my mom was a mess. A pretty heavy drinker & smoker. I was surrounded by it from her, her boyfriend (now ex), his lil friends & maybe hers? idk. She used to kick me out & lock me out the door, I got used to it but I got lucky if her ex decided to open it for me. She was abusive, physically, maybe ? idk but i’m pretty sure she did. I blocked out a ton of shit from my childhood 💀 growing up she used to call me names & hit me even tho i didn’t do nothing. wrong. She’d talk to me abt her feelings & venting. (Wow way to do a number to a fucking 3yo). She’d vent abt her troubles. I had to learn how to feed $ dress myself when she didn’t want to. I don’t think she likes me as a person but she definitely loves as a daughter. So hypocritical, but sometimes so am I. Ive come to realize that I’m almost like an exact copy of her. from her face, hair, personality, the way we present, ourselves, up to the way we fucking talk. My family even says so. But as much as I hate to admit, I can see the almost uncanny resemblance, well obviously i’m aware of the whole: ’YoU’Re boUnd to LooK liKE YOur MoTHer, yoU cAME fROm hER’ ik that but it’s annoying to hear it almost every fucking day, I live & breathe. It’s annoying as shit. But that’s also why I was piercing & highlights. Jst to have at least some type of different between us, jst so I can’t hear other ‘OMG!!! U look *jst* like ur mother! Like a little mini-her’. It was cute the first 3 or 7 times, but after what.. almost two decades of hearing that sentence. It gets pretty annoying. What I despise equally as much is when ppl say ‘Dang you looked jst like her sister’ (towards my mom). She looks pretty young yea, but it’s annoying too. Though in the end. I love her, I’m proud of her. She’s really trying to better herself, and whatnot. But fuck, please for the love of god; go to therapy woman. U need it, I need it, even nana (grandma) needs it. Almost everyone in my family needs ts. We’re all fucked up in a way. more shit cuz y not.. i started self-harming/sh around the age of 3-5. It was jst simple: hitting myself, hair pulling, scratching, bruising. I did it when I got stressed w home life, when I was angry, sad or jst felt like it. I stopped for a bit, but then it was a whole cycle once more. On & off typa things. Though,, one summer after going crazy abt whether to cut or not. My friend showed her twt feed, I saw video after video of ppl cutting, slicing, bleeding, ect. I was skhakjng, basically tweaking out like how Tweek from SP/South Park does (not exactly but similarly). I bit my tongue. After the skool yr was over, the first official night of summer, I decided to grab a pencil sharpener, unscrew the blade & I gently swiped it across my thighs. No blood, it stung like crazy doe. i barely even cut the skin. That’s when I started to go a bit deeper, jst out of the blue. That’s when I hit blood, no styro tho. Something went over me & I went deeper, pushing the blade onto my arms. I checked the wound. My first styro, my heart was racing, pounding. I was excited. I did even more styros, some a bit deeper than others. I still have every scar to show it. Even the little 4 straight-ish ones that look like little slopes or rows of corn.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 196

Road Trip/Cold War

“Road Trip”

Plot Description: Gadreel is still in control of Sam’s body while on a murder spree for Metatron, but Dean, Castiel, and Crowley have plans for an angel eviction

Before I even start…THAT’S how they decided to spell that angel’s name?? After all the -iel names they throw in there -eel??? Really??? ANYWAY

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: IM BARELY SURVIVING WATCHING DEAN GIVE KEVIN A HUNTER’S BURIAL AND WRESTLE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING AT LEAST PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS LIFE GOING TO SHIT AND EVENTUAL DEATH AT NO MORE THAN 18 YEARS OLD

Is…is this angel turned rockstar for real when he calls another angel Gadreel’s boyfriend (who presumably died) or is this just normal supernatural?

God…he’s carrying so much guilt over all of this and Cas is like the only person who can really understand how being “stupid for the right reason” feels now

Crowley does seem genuinely sad about Kevin’s death. Not OVERLY sad, he’s not going to actually show the emotion, but still

Omg you’re hitting so many of Dean’s pain points right now, babes, and you don’t even know it

You know, I was thinking earlier today about Cas’s humanity, how good he’s gotten at being human. How last time we saw him, he was so happy and proud of getting to do the hunting job and grabbing a round of beers for them all…and then he tells Dean and Crowley he has a car that stopped inexplicably…because it ran out of gas

Omg the way they’re acting both like exes and siblings…there’s a glee for both of them that the other has to sit in the back seat but then the bickering over space

Why would there be no more prophets?? Crowley had a whole room of next-in-line-prophets when he couldn’t find Kevin

Metatron, I know you’ve been away from heaven for a long time, but angels are order followers, not really ones for taking initiative. Forgive him if he didn’t kill Dean just yet

OH, the woman with the dog was a demon?? Do we get to see Abaddon again??

Cas is so determined to hate Crowley and voice that hate at every given opportunity. We stan a petty bitch

I’m terrified for this angel, Abner. He just wants to live a normal life, make this family’s life better…aaaaaaand he’s dead. He shouldn’t have talked about never letting go of something you want no matter the price because there’s always a price

Cecily, girl, that talk works with Crowley because he’s in handcuffs and understands conniving…Abaddon’s not like that. You’re loyal to her or you’re dead

Ah yes, JPad’s acting skills………they’re not great.

“So you’re saying we’re both a couple of dumbasses?” “I prefer the word trusting. Less dumb, less ass” 💖

HOW POWERFUL IS THIS ANGEL??

Man, when you say trusting…………you’re about to let Crowley possess him?? Oooooo Crowley has a fun red demon soul! Did I know that already? I feel like I didn’t

I will say that JPad CAN play wounded puppy pretty well. But that comes with the practice of playing a character who’s body has done a lot that his normal mind wouldn’t allow

Nah, Gadreel, you’re still a chump working for Metatron

Is this the turning point for the Winchesters and Crowley? Maybe not fully “I see you again—“ “yes, I’m dead. I love you, too. Now go”

Yes, we’re going to appreciate her again 💖💖💖

Sammy’s back!

The boys are fighting over who gets blame over Kevin’s death…omg Dean, I knew this would happen because you’ve had everything crumble around you so many times but I promise it’s not that you’re poison

Jesus, Sam…..stop him. Stop him NOW. Don’t let him LEAVE. FUCK.

“Cold War”

Plot Description: On a Russian submarine in 1983, a frozen alien warrior is waking up

I can stand by the explanation that the TARDIS will translate alien speech into English, and even with some sort of accent from that group of islands…but the TARDIS ISN’T ON THIS RUSSIAN SUBMARINE WHY ARE THEY SPEAKING ENGLISH IN SOME SORT OF BRITISH ACCENT?? (I know the answer, but…come on)

This guys being a complete idiot in the pursuit of science. Maybe DON’T WAKE UP AND THAW OUT THE ALIEN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHILE IN A SUBMERGED SUBMARINE!!! Like…???

Like you are SO LUCKY the TARDIS has decided this is where the Doctor needs to be now

Yeah, middle of a crisis like this IS the best time to not have to go through the pretense of who you pretend to be upon arriving somewhere

He is MARVELING at this ice warrior. Til they told the Doctor their name.

Oh good. He got electrocuted because a human got scared. SURELY there will be no repercussions for that

Is that Stannis Baratheon?? No…more insufferable, Edmure Tully

I took a break to look up the actors imdb pages…the number of them that have been in GoT or The Crown or BOTH?! It’s basically everyone but Jenna…who somehow doesn’t have this show in her “known for” section but DOES have the first captain america movie…just, if you were wondering

OH! I remembered! The professor on this vessel was in Titanic!! He played Cal’s manservant

How…long are these aliens’ lifespans? Does he think the ice warriors he knew are still alive? Are we gonna have to take him to whatever the Mars equivalent of the southern air temple is? Though, I fear what would happen if he found out what may or may not have happened to his people, he’s not as peaceful as aang

Poor Doc has to explain everything to everyone and there’s apparently not time to do that but he still has to and IS doing it

Ok…maybe we don’t completely blame Davos Seaworth for what the junior science guy did. That wasn’t an order he gave

Oof. You took the words right out of my mouth, Skaldak has nothing to lose now that he thinks he’s been abandoned

Stop saying how bad can it be! I barely even saw the onceler fandom but I’m getting flashbacks anyway

Ok but don’t say it couldn’t get any worse either…you’re just INVITING worse

Byyyyyyyye Edmure. I didn’t bother learning your name because you were marked for death from the beginning by being incredulous.

He’s so much nicer on this sinking/sunken ship than he was in Titanic. He’s singing Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran to keep spirits up

We’re in a sequence where Skaldak is picking off the crew one by one……but I’m getting suspicious of the professor. I don’t know that I should be, but that doesn’t change that I am. Omg…he just wants to know if his favorite bands split up. He just wants to know the most mundane stuff 🥺

I’m not condoning him wanting to kill off humanity before I’m even born, but “there will be a second red planet, red with the blood of humanity” is a BANGER line

It’s the way humans are perpetually children to all these alien beings…I dunno how I feel about it

What in the deus ex machina?? The ice warrior were still alive and rescued Skaldak….and then the world was saved by Clara singing Hungry Like the Wolf. Sure. Why not?

[ilovedilfs228007]

I want a person i could fully trust. A person who could hug me and id feel safe. A person who would care about me, love me, say nice things to me. Years ago i thought that it's a psychologist's work but now i know it's not. Oh how disappointed i was. It's quite a long story about my psycologist but i have time. I won't sleep until im exhausted so...

It happened 2 years ago. I told my grandmother i cut myself, i asked her to tell my father. After a long and uncomfortable conversation with my father, he finally decided to make an appointment with a psychologist. I needed a normal psychotherapist, not a gestalt therapist. She said i should draw mandalas and stamp while listening to "shamanic music" (to reduce my anger). I drew 1 or 2 mandalas but i have never done that other shit. It made me just more angry because I looked like an idiot. She never answered any of my questions, she touched me when i wasn't comfortable with it. She said things about my "imaginary friends" i can never forgive. She never showed any emotions and it was the most annoying thing in my life. She said i should visit a psychiatrist and she gave HER FRIEND'S NUMBER. Her psychiatrist friend wasn't any better but then she just gave up and gave my case to an actual child psychiatrist. This woman was the most adequate. She spoke quietly, politely and she answered MY FUCKING QUESTIONS. I was taking antidepressants and tranquilizers. At the same time i continued therapy. I told her i thought my father was a softie AND SHE ASKED MY MUM TO "TALK TO ME ABOUT MY FATHER, BECAUSE I CALLED HIM A SOFTIE" BRO WTF???????? DID U EVER HEARD ABOUT PRIVACY????

My mum wasn't angry, she was... Well, shocked and sad. She swore she didn't know anything else. I have never felt so angry. I was ready to punch her(psychologist) in a face. I phoned her the next day, when i was alone on the street. "i DoNt wAnT u To tHiNk ThAt i bEtRaYeD u" so what did u do? "I dIdNt kNoW i WaSnT aLlOwEd tO sPeAk aBoUt tHe mAiN tOpIcS oF oUr sEsSiOnS" IT WASN'T A TOPIC U SHIT, U FUCKING QUOTED ME. It was the first time i ever yelled at somebody that much older than me. Im proud i didn't curse. It was the point of no return, she was so annoying and she fucking told my mother i say shit about her husband. I thought I was going to choke her the next session. But no, actually, she asked me to write down some answers and i just answered like:

No. Nothing. Idk. No.

She started to say some shit that if I didn't want to be here i could take my money and go. Im proud i took the money and went away to my favourite cafe to drink lemonade. My mum wasn't happy because the day before i said that i will go there 3 more times. But hehe, no. But it wasn't a big deal. Fuck i still feel pure anger when i think about it. When she tried to diagnose my transgenderness by "why don't you like being a girl" and "draw a boy and a girl. Now, stand on each picture and say which is more comfortable". Sha always asked me to draw but she never gave me the materials i wanted. She always gave me dirty old gouache and a dirty old brush. And when i asked her to give me pencils or something like that she said "no, u have to stop controling things" fuck u, i hated those paintings, they never described my feelings right BECAUSE I CAN'T DRAW WITH PAINTS.

Maybe i was the problem there but im still so fucking angry.