#hate that there’s dialogue changes in the first place but they’re not even good ones

[loonyoz]

Everytime I see a new dialogue change in bg3 it makes my blood boil

[louferrignojrofficial]

one thing that really annoys me and that i normally wouldn’t bitch about on main but i’m just not feeling all that great today so i’m gonna - is how some people who ship buddie but liked tommy - both in general and with buck - are acting. (editing this to say it got really long and a little off topic so proceed with caution)

before 7x10, they’d be like omg he’s so funny, so considerate, he’s so cute/handsome!! with an added disclaimer of (i still ship buddie and i think they’re gonna be endgame but i’m enjoying tommy and him with buck in the meantime!)

and then after that dinner scene, it was like a switch flipped. he’s so disgusting, insensitive, how dare he make a daddy issues joke when buck was talking about bobby basically being his father and when he was basically dying!!! how dare he!!!! i’m not gonna go into how that’s a gross misinterpretation of the scene and just plain wrong because that’s a whole other rant.

it was a drastic change. there’s all these posts hating on him, on everything they’d liked about him before. having the most negative misinterpretations of things they’d literally praised about him saying/doing before. all but rewriting canon dialogue to create this narrative of how much characters, mostly eddie, feel towards tommy.

now i see so many of these people making and/or reblogging posts saying they can’t wait for buck to break up with tommy because he either somehow mistook his feelings for eddie with feelings for tommy because they’re baSicaLly tHe sAme pErSon, or that eddie and everyone else will be like we never liked him in the first place, or some other insane post about how they’d kill tommy or rant about how much they hate him for things they literally had no problem with before.

like i’m not saying you can’t change your mind about a character, but i just think it’s crazy how much people can start to hate someone they literally had no problem with after ONE comment.

and this is another thing partially related, but seeing how the tommy hate has gotten so out of hand, i see comments on twitter and tumblr and even on instagram posts from the cast hating on him that veer towards sounding just plain homophobic. like the killing tommy ‘jokes’ ??? you’re not funny. you sound homophobic. ‘but i’m not homophobic for not liking a character and making a joke!!’ okay so imagine literally anyone else who knew nothing about the show making a comment like you’re doing. it’s not a good look.

to me, it seems clear that to these people, tommy was just meant to be a placeholder. he was meant to only be there for buck to realise his bisexuality, and then buddie was meant to be canon and so tommy is in the way somehow. because people took bi buck being shut down back in season 4 to be proof that buddie was meant to have gone canon (which i’m not saying wasn’t the case, but it’s never been confirmed or really even hinted at.)

so now anything to do with tommy just makes people so mad, because he’s still here and buddie isn’t happening. so they’re purposefully having the most negative interpretation of anything to do with tommy to make themselves feel better.

hating on tommy makes it easier to deal with the fact buddie doesn’t seem to in the cards (at least rn). so people don’t have to really consider that it may never happen, so they don’t have to shift the blame onto the actors and writers and anyone else. so they can continue to read into any oliver and ryan interaction into meaning canon buddie, anything they say in interviews that doesn’t point towards canon buddie, to misinterpret anything they do say (including ryan continuously calling eddie heterosexual, that’s a big one) because they can’t give away anything yet, it has to be a surprise!!!

tldr: people are hating on tommy after 7x10, and it’s less to do with anything he said in that scene and more to do with the fact that he’s still on the show and buddie doesn’t seem to be going canon. and that hating on him makes it easier to deal with that fact.

[h-worksrambles]

Ok, so Episode Aigis dropped, they changed some dialogue and now people are pissed and saying P3 Reload ruined The Answer.

If you want my TLDR, Atlus’ changes (both writing and mechanical) for the DLC are overall small, some good some bad, but they’re ultimately band aids that fail to address the much wider flaws of The Answer as a story.

I think there’s a genuine intent to try and better get across the character’s motivations. And for some characters it works well. I think the new dialogue for Mitsuru is a genuine improvement. I’ve seen some criticise it for focusing more on Mituru’s thoughts towards the protagonist then her (rather queer coded) loyalty to Yukari. But as much as I love my SEES lesbians, I genuinely think giving Mitsuru multiple reasons to side with Yukari rather than just blind loyalty, is much more in character for her than FES’ approach (where she comes across uncharacteristically stupid). But I think by only changing minutia like this it just ends up highlighting the bigger problem.

A lot of people hyper focus on Yukari’s role and talk about how irrational she is here. And now you’ve got people complaining that Reload softens and sanitises her character and makes her storyline weaker. But I feel it’s a case of identifying something doesn’t work but being incorrect as to why.

The thing about the SEES group fight is that it’s fundamentally a really poorly done conflict. It sucked in FES and it sucks here too. There’s not enough meaningful disagreement between the group to make it feel earned. The only one acting out and taking the MC’s death badly, is Yukari. When really if this is the climax they wanted to build to, everyone should have been grieving badly and constantly at each other’s throats. It could have been this building frustration and animosity, until they’re all at odds over what to do with the key and a fight breaks out.

What we get is everyone…mostly being pretty chill, aside from Yukari being kind of petty and jealous at Aigis. And I think the reason people react badly to her (misogyny notwithstanding) is that it’s really weird when she’s the only one having this extreme reaction. Instead of everyone dealing with the MCs death in their own distinct way, it’s only explored with Aigis and Yukari and only somewhat. Hell if you didn’t have such a jarring disconnect, and there was a better variety of reactions and thoughts from across the cast, I think more people would praise Yukari’s writing here. As it stands, when everyone else is almost ridiculously reasonable, it looks very jarring.

And then when the group do fight it feels completely out of nowhere precisely because of how agreeable everyone’s been. Everyone willingly jumps into a pointless fight that could get them all killed, one that only one member of the group even wants. All for a very contrived plot point that was set up five minutes ago. It’s executed in such a sloppy way that it makes the genuinely good scene of Yukari’s breakdown ring hollow. You get the sense that the writers weren’t really interested in exploring Yukari’s grief beyond using it as a plot device to make a dumb, unnecessary punch up scene happen.

I can see what they’re trying to do in Reload. They wanted to make Yukari stick out like less of a sore thumb compared to the rest of the group. But if they were gonna do that, they kinda needed to dial everyone else up, not dial her down. Build the tension between the party further rather than decrease it. Because now, if Yukari, and by extension the rest of the party are way more reasonable, it just begs the question even more of ‘they why are you fighting in the first place?’ It’s slapping on a band aid in a way that just exposes the whole scenario’s weaknesses

I genuinely think Episode Aigis needed to either keep the Answer entirely as is, or overhaul it completely. Making little changes like this won’t win over people who hated The Answer the first time, and will just annoy people who liked it as is. As it stands, The Answer is still a mess of good ideas mired by poor execution and Reload’s take only makes a handful of small changes that are ultimately different, not better.

[zukkacore]

Imo the new PJO shows greatest strength is definitely Riordon’s craft maturing since the lightning thief in terms of…. Thematic coherence?

I think PJO has always been fairly thematically coherent & impactful in its messaging but especially at first the books feels much more like fairly lighthearted action adventure road trip narratives that are extremely episodic and more focused on being entertaining than having something To Say. Which, they’re books for middle schoolers, I think an “adventure road trip with some unserious monster slaying” is a perfectly serviceable concept and in execution riordan is admirably gifted in that his writing can be entertaining for both the primary demographic kids but also adults.

But they’re not books that just suddenly decided to half-heartedly have a theme (unlike other kids fantasy from the period I don’t dare namedrop lmao), because of all the foreshadowing and the motivations behind the antagonists (one antagonist in particular), it’s clear he probably had a thematic direction for the series, even if I don’t know how planned the initial 5 book run was. I really do admire what the book has to say abt bad systems that are set up to leave certain folks behind, and what parents owe to their children, & abt how easy it is to fall for charismatic leaders promising for a return to glorious prelapsarian past instead of trying to provide real solutions.

In the series, what I’ve really been enjoying is how every interaction and monster doesn’t just feel episodic, each monster feels like a facet that is part of the central thesis regarding the gods & their relationship to their children. I think the writing strength does a lot of heavy lifting because while overall I think the show is pretty solid, I do have a few critiques.

Mainly one of the frustrating things probably has something to do with budgeting. Scenes that are very thrilling and action driven in the book are truncated & often replaced with a lot of kinda slow oddly paced walk-&-talk scenes. Probably bc that’s much cheaper to shoot. Riordan himself seems to be fairly transparent about the changes he’s made in adaptation due to those limitations.

The effects for tv show cgi are not perfect but pretty impressive (I’ll reiterate, for tv cgi, the bar is on the floor….) but there’s a weird emptiness or sterile quality that makes the world feel not so lived in. Idk I think this was the most apparent to me in the casino episode, which I know riordan hates the movie & we joke abt the poker face scene but I was honestly kinda bewildered at how lifeless and boring they made the intentionally enticing distraction of the lotus casino seem. I get there can’t be gambling, but maybe an arcade? A buffet? Something?

I sound like I’m really going in on the show but I’m really not, I’ve been really enjoying the adaptation so far. The flaws are not show-ruining but I do think they culminate in a result that struggles w pacing & lacks the propulsive energetic quality of the books. Which, adaptations can be different, but to me that quality was always a strength of the series that imo I would’ve prioritized in adaptation. What saves some of the problems for me is that even tho a lot content is kinda delivered in this weird inert way of the actors doing their best to bring life to scenes where people are standing around stiffly and exchanging dialogue, the content itself is really good. His knowledge of his own characters & their dynamics, their desires, their place in the narrative, is so clear. The emphasis placed on Sally Jackson in particular & her influence on Percy & his values is a great additive element to the show. Again, the thematic coherence that has evolved since the lightning thief is in full display. For example, before last nights episode, I was actually saying to my mom that I hoped they would cut the procrustes water bed scene bc that chapter always felt weirdly fillery and goofy in its tone, but it was integrated in such an organic way that I really liked it!

I’ve been saying for like a decade that I thought PJO’s monster of the week episodic structure would make a better show than movie, and like. All im saying is that being apollo cursed with the gift of prophecy isn’t always a bad thing

[lumiereandcogsworth]

1 3 8 13 and 16 for Adam 🫶🏻

thank youuuuu i talked too much because that’s My Boy so it’s under the cut now hahah

1. Why do you like or dislike this character? i like so MUCH about this boy!!!!!!!

i love how ridiculously hopeless and stubborn he is at the beginning. he hardly even cares that belle is there at first, she’s more a nuisance than anything.

i love that first moment when you see how truly scared he really is. after he sees belle in the mirror, the reflection returns to a regular mirror and he sees himself, sees the monster that he still is, and you just see how scared he is!!! he looks at the rose and he’s just!!! aahhh!!🥺🥺🥺 he wants to be freed, it’s just so hard for him to Try And Change.

i love how nerdy he is :3 like i just said this in a recent post but GOSH making him a pretentious asshole about books was just the most incredible thing the live action writers did to improve him. i LOVE how much of a nerd he is, and how suppressed it’s been his whole life!! i mean i don’t love that for him but it makes for a compelling character!! he’s been forced into such a specific box all his life and belle is the first person to be like “hey what if you just like. existed how you wanted to. i do it and it’s kinda fun :3” and he’s like “but everyone ridicules and bullies you” and she’s like “yeah, but i’m free.” (i don’t think they have this dialogue i think this is just like. the vibes exchanged between them. the sort of revelation that belle’s presence gives adam. anyway) i love the nerd boy

i love how DEEPLY he feels his emotions. like gosh when he’s sad, HE IS SAD. when he’s happy, HES SO HAPPY. he’s just so extreme all the time and i love it. especially with the way he loves!!! he’s so protective and worries so much about belle (and later their children) because he just loves them so so much. he can’t fathom anything happening to them. they’re his whole world 😭 he’s just… such a sweetheart🤧

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character? i am wracking my brain on this one bro. i actually saved it to answer last and i Still have nothing. i’m a canon girlie!! i love canon!!! canon is beloved to me!!! like sure it sucks that his mother died when he was a child?? or sucks that it’s very implied that his father was cruel and probably abused him?? but i still wouldn’t say those are least favorite because they make up who adam is! scars and all! demons and all! he’s a very sad and damaged little guy and he needs lots of love and hugs and kisses (enter: belle) but i don’t think there’s anything that is least favorite ?? i do always find his little Nest™️ in the corner of his room a little like… yikes 😬 but it also equally makes sense that he stopped sleeping in his own bed. the way his body is as a beast it probably Was more comfortable to sleep curled up on the floor 🤷‍♀️ so again it’s like!!! there’s a reason for everything!!! i don’t know the karma taylor swift lyrics but that’s me with canon. canon is my boyfriend, etc. etc.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise? HOW MUCH FUCKING TIME DO YOU HAVE. the fandom does two very specific things that makes me want to grab my own torch and pitchfork and burn the place to the GROUND. the charges against the “fandom”:

refusing to call him by his name

wishing he’d remain a beast

*bangs gavel* the sentence? jail for one thousand years.

no but seriously why is everyone so stupid about my boy, hm? why is it so difficult to understand. i realize they don’t say his actual name in the movies, but disney has very much confirmed that adam his name. like why ? ? don’t you want him to have ? ? a name ? ? oh i’m so glad you asked. it stems to the second charge. they far prefer him to remain a beast (in the form that he hates, in the form he was punished to be in, in the form that prevents him from ever being human again, ever truly getting a chance at a normal life where he can be a good man) people prefer him to remain a beast and therefore DENY him his humanity (you guys remember he was born a human, right? you know this isn’t shrek, correct? okay just checking) and force him to be a monster.

LOOK. does belle make him comfortable, make him feel loved, make him see that beauty is found within? yes ! of course ! but no matter how comfortable belle makes him feel in his skin, this is Not The Form He Would Ever Choose To Remain In. i think people genuinely forget he was born a human. like for real i think that’s the main issue. they think we’re watching shrek. guys it’s not shrek. he’s a human being trapped in a body that isn’t his. i’ve seen a post by a trans person who connected with him because he was like “yeah being in a body that doesn’t feel like your own fucking sucks!!! i’m glad he got to be freed and be himself!!!” anyway, don’t know why everyone fails to understand such a simple concept. but i’m done here. WHEW. constantly angers me. i’ve lost count of the amount of people i’ve blocked for making some dumbass comment about favoring him in beast form or some shit. it’s why i don’t even really consider myself in the fandom because the “fandom” is filled with lunatics for some reason. ANYWAY !!!!!! moving on!

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot? okay in modern au i think he’s absolute rubbish at emojis. belle uses them constantly but adam never does, besides the occasional classic red heart ❤️ when he’s feeling particularly affectionate while texting belle or their kiddos. in terms of symbols and such, hmm. someday i’d really love to design his family crest. i also headcanon that maurice designs their OWN family crest that combines his and adam’s family crests. i’d love to design all these crests!!!! but anyway. i think adam is very cat-coded, so i think there’d be a big cat somewhere on the crest, like a lion. i think his wax seal stamp is just a really fancy AB (Adam de Beaumont) with some swirly flair around it. when i think of adam i think of books and maps and telescopes and the moon and cherry blossoms and clothes, he loves his clothes :3

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character? i don’t really think i have a least favorite ship! like, in my mind, you either follow canon and ship him with belle, his true love, his beloved darling, OR you deviate from canon and have some fun shipping him with others! i’ve always been a canon ship kind of girlie so while i don’t Entirely understand shipping him with others, it’s also like, you do you 🤝 i don’t particularly hate any other adam ships, they’re just not my cup of tea! but i get it like, he’s a cool character to ship with. i like dabbling in his past, pre-canon relationships every now and then myself. and that’s fun because he’s a different sort of man than he is with belle, but you can still see the little nuggets of true adam even in the early days. anyway i’m not the shipping police i’m just here for my blorbos. i care way more that we see eye-to-eye on the Treatment of adam, rather than who he’s paired with.

character asks!

[sshbpodcast]

Bottom Five Star Trek VOY Episodes

by Ames

Star Trek: Voyager gets a lot of flak for not always capitalizing on its unique circumstance, as a show about a cumulative journey meant to take a lot of time. Some of that is the episodic nature of the show: audiences needed to be able to tune in randomly and not feel as lost as the crew were. But some bad episodes just had no excuse. And you’ll see a lot of that in A Star to Steer Her By’s picks for worst episodes of the show. 

We’ll miss all our Delta Quadrant friends, enemies, and alien races, sure. We’ll miss the ship and the crew. But there’s also a lot that we won’t miss, as there were a good deal of missed opportunities, clunkers, and just plain offensive episodes along the way. Good riddance to those! Scroll on to see what we mean in our bottom five episodes of Voyager below, and/or listen to our coverage over on the podcast (series review starts at 1:29:20) with some audio-exclusive picks from guest star Liz! It’s finally time to self destruct this ship.

[images © CBS/Paramount]

“The Fight”: Ames I’m pretty clear on my stance on dream sequence episodes, but for those of you sitting in the back: I hate them. They’re contrived, they’re convenient, they’re too literal. Just ugh all around. Which is a shame because there’s something in this episode that could have been interesting for Chakotay to do for a change, but it got lost somewhere in boxing metaphors and some Native American spiritualism. Talk about a bad dream!

“Tattoo”: Chris Speaking of Native American spiritualism, this episode is just plain uncomfortable and it all comes down to the one line of dialogue that goes too far: “Forty five thousand years ago, on our first visit to your world, we met a small group of nomadic hunters. They had no spoken language, no culture, except the use of fire and stone weapons.” Oh writers, you done screwed up to imply that the only reason Native Americans have culture is because aliens. A-koo-chee-moh-no.

“Alice”: Caitlin Caitlin surprised us a couple times in her series picks by opting for episodes she hadn’t even included in her season-by-season lists! So welcome, “Alice,” to the bottoms list. The femme fatale ship was just too tropey and icky and really brought Tom’s character down a few pegs. It’s episodes like this that make us wonder how on earth Torres stayed with him throughout the show.

“Ex Post Facto”: Jake Tom did some more suffering in this early-seasons dud of an episode. We’ve seen Star Trek do film noir to a slightly better effect in something like DS9’s “Necessary Evil,” but this one just whiffs hard at the style. It doesn’t help that the Baneans’ hair feathers are distracting as hell and that the conclusion that the damn dog helps solve stretches credulity to its very limits. Have the writers never met a dog before?

“Concerning Flight”: Caitlin You’d think John Rhys-Davies playing Leonardo da Vinci would elevate an episode to something greater, but somehow this baffling episode proved to be a waste of time. We spent most of it confused by pretty much everyone’s motivations. Why did Tau keep da Vinci around? How did da Vinci not notice anything was out of the ordinary on this planet? Does the sun always set in the same place on this planet? Who knows!

“Body and Soul”: Ames I’ve clumped a bunch of really gross, sexist episodes together if only to rile myself up because I hate these kinds of episodes so much. But how can one not get riled up when Seven tells the Doctor that he violated her and his response is to blame her? What should be a fun romp watching Jeri Ryan get to pretend to be another character is horribly tainted by that “she was asking for it” attitude. And then for Seven to be the one to apologize while the Doctor never sees what he did was wrong: VOMIT!

“Retrospect”: Chris Oh look, more violating Seven of Nine! This show really couldn’t help itself sometimes. What else was there to do when you had an attractive woman on the cast but to exploit her? If this episode was trying to debunk false memories, it failed hard by making it about a violation of a woman character because then the only thing you can see is the allegory for fake rape allegations, and that is not the message you want to send. Plus the doctor suddenly peddling pseudoscience is just nonsense.

“Blood Fever”: Ames Here’s another gross sexual act that I’ve never been quite okay with. Pon farr as a plot device was fine enough in “Amok Time.” Weird and kind of illogical, but fine. But when Vorik goes and sexually assaults Torres and everyone tries to sweep it under the rug because it’s some weird Vulcan bullshit, that’s not fine. And when Tom makes it clear that it would not be consensual for him and Torres to bang it out but Tuvok insists they do, I am all the more disgusted. No means no, Vulcans!

“Sacred Ground”: Ames, Jake We’ve got some overlap in our remaining bottom picks, starting with this absolutely nonsensical debate between science and faith that just boils down to: believe everything you’re told without questioning it and maybe magic is real. There’s a reason this franchise usually shies away from addressing religion in this kind of way. It’s one thing for a character (or a person in real life!) to have faith; it’s quite another for miracles to just happen for plot convenience (unless you’re part wormhole alien or something).

“11:59”: Caitlin, Chris, Jake The hatred for Henry Janeway is strong in this room (though that might be because Chris skews the curve a bit). But he’s just a wet blanket of a character who’s just taking his son and his whole damn town down to his level through sheer obstinance. Add to that the fact that he seriously has no chemistry with Shannon – like really, he could be her father – and you’ve got a massive clunker of an episode on your hands.

“Fury”: Caitlin, Chris, Jake The series as a whole wasted Kes as a character, which was quite the shame to watch, but the one thing it did do was give her a poignant and powerful farewell in “The Gift.” But Voyager can giveth and Voyager can taketh away, and this return of Jennifer Lien as the hardened, hellbent, furious Kes basically attempts to ruin her character. This was not the Kes we knew and loved, and damned if we even understand how she got there. How dare they do this to our sweeting!

“Elogium”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake Finally, the one we all agree on is some other weird sex claptrap. The Vulcans may have their pon farr (which I hate enough on its own), but the Ocampa have elogium, which somehow makes even less sense! Biology aside (blegh), the rest of the episode is confused in its messaging: these are people who are not ready for a baby, but instead of really exploring what that means for them, we’re stuck with this weird Ocampan heat thing. This whole episode has lost its sex appeal!

—

See also: our Top Five Star Trek VOY Episodes list! And why not: here’re all the seasonal tops and bottoms from seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7!

We’ll still miss the Voyager and her plucky crew of misfits… just not when they were being racist or misogynist for no reason. And while I’d love to say we’re glad all those bad episodes are over, there’s always more bad ideas to go around. Let’s see how our next show in the rotation compares as we prepare ourselves for our next watchthrough: Star Trek: Enterprise! We’d love for you to watch along with us on SoundCloud or whatever podcast platform is your favorite, to hang out with us on Facebook and Twitter, and to really brace yourself because we know more pon farr action is on the way. Ew.

[wereallbooked]

About Us!

M 💫

hii! m here! started reading again in 2023/2024 with lotssss of romance, and trying to branch out into fantasy and lit fit more now. some of my favorite books include happy place by emhen, love hypothesis by ali hazelwood, the book thief, a little princess, love & gelato, and tom lake. excited to share our two person bookclub with everyone!

H ✨

hiiii i’m h!! two of my favorite books of all time are happy place by emily henry and iron flame by rebecca yarros. one of my favorite series is maggie stiefvater’s the raven cycle. a big influence on my reading vibes is my formative marauders fanfic obsession. my auto-buy authors are emhen, rebecca yarros, and sally rooney. i get a lot of my books from book of the month, and i need to buy stock in my local barnes and noble. one of my favorite ways to elevate my reading hobby is to journal about each book after im done! those reviews are private because they’re extra honest; but i have other fun things in my journal, like a genre tracker, book tracker, physical tbr library, a tracker for donations, and a chart to track my BOTMs specifically. i’m so excited to share my reads here and hopefully help people have better book club discussions!

M's rating system 🥀

⭐️: i highly disliked this book. it made me feel unwell. i will never read this again. immediately donating it to a little free library if i own it

⭐️⭐️: not written well. when i look back on it i wonder why i bothered to read it entirely in the first place. there are some merits to it though which is why it has two stars. maybe the plot was fun or i could somewhat understand the vibe that was attempting to come across.

⭐️⭐️⭐️: not bad! would i reread it? probably not.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️: good! could even be great! would possibly pick up again and reread. it probably made me feel something inside (even if it was negative). writing was good. maybe i just didn't vibe with certain plot points.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️: amazing. my life has been forever changed. definitely would reread. and tell other people to read.

H's rating system 🌷

⭐️: i was locked in a boxing ring with this book and lost. i should have dnfed. the reasons why i didn’t dnf are unclear even to myself. usually, had a bone to pick with the prose, the characterization, and the dialogue. my most recent example is rebecca robinson’s the serpent and the wolf.

⭐️⭐️: i had active beef with this book. my reader friends all know i hated it because i wouldn’t shut up about it. again, probably should have dnfed but SOMETHING got me to keep going. sometimes books in this category aren’t explicitly BAD, just not for me. also, sometimes im a victim of their marketing and going in with mismatched expectations. a recent example of this is emma gray’s pictures of you.

⭐️⭐️⭐️: generally a pretty solid read! usually an issue with prose, dialogue, OR character construction (but only one, not all). does not inspire me to pick it up during bits of free time throughout the day, and usually doesn’t have any lines i feel inspired to pull for my journal. my most recent example is ava robinson’s definitely better now.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️: a read on the upside of good, leaning towards great. sometimes a resembles a five star read, but lacks what i call that five star feeling—the elusive joy of a true five star read. still, a well constructed book that scratched every itch, but perhaps could have done something better. my most recent example is emma knight’s the life cycle of the common octopus

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️: generally evoked a strong reaction (made me cry and/or laugh out loud and/or attempt to cause my book physical harm). has quotes within it that i went out of my way to record in my journal, and characters that i think about after finishing. my most recent example is ali hazelwood’s love theoretically.

[jbm04]

Was just thinking about Vi saying “I choose wrong every time” and thought that maybe she meant having chosen Caitlyn over her sister initially was one of those wrong choices? Like that was one of the first things that popped into my head.

I know there are a lot of arguments about this sex scene having taken place in a cell. It wasn’t a great idea. I also think I wished the whole scene had been softer? Vi was really hurting here. When she looked over her shoulder to see who was at the cell door, it was that same look over her shoulder in season 1. Like she was cornered. Scared. She saw Caitlyn and she wasn’t immediately comfortable. In fact, she seemed MORE worried because she thought she snuck in to break her sister out and became more worried that would piss Cait off.

She expressed a lot of pain and guilt about her choices. I totally get that feeling. And you know what? I don’t exactly feel super horny when I get like this. I know a lot of people wanted a sex scene. I think I’d have just preferred to see comfort? Maybe Caitlyn isn’t exactly the best person to preach about choices either.

But I do see that maybe they were trying to go for something symbolic with Cait letting her out of prison again. Like… Vi’s always going to be punching that wall.

I think “starting over” would have been more realistic than immediately having “made up”. Like trust needs to be worked on? And is Caitlyn really trustworthy when she doesn’t immediately tell Vi about even a potential theory of Jinx being alive?

I didn’t hate the season. It just didn’t excite me. It hurt good when it hurt. I’m happy the LOL world can’t make “they’re just friends” arguments anymore for Caitlyn and Vi but…. At what cost? 😂

The dirt under the nails thing? I don’t know, man. Initially, I didn’t think much about it. Dialogue just wasn’t superb this season. Didn’t move me. Like… Is Vi getting predictable? 😐 Where the fuck did that come from? Yes. Ms. Randomly parkours off rooftops is predictable. And why was THAT the horny-making line?

An effort to show how Vi had changed Caitlyn would have been excellent. Instead, Ambessa had more effect on Caitlyn’s character. Where was the “make them think you have what they want” lesson? I really think they dropped the ball when they didn’t utilize that lesson from Vi.

[skelebonecentral]

Imposter Syndrome

request from ao3

eclipse, while still hiding in sun's body, experiences adoration and praise for the first time. but it's stolen glory, isnt' it?

words under cut

Well, here he was. Alone with the human that was besotted with Sun.

“what do you see when you look at me?” he asked, still using Sun’s voice rather than his own. He wanted to know what possible good they could find in the anxious, weak mess that was Sun.

They blushed, aw, how saccharine. “Uh…w-well, I…Sun, I think you’re wonderful. I can see how hard you try, how patient you are with Moon, how much you sacrifice your own wellbeing to care for others…it’s worrying, but I know you’re coming from a good place with it.”

“Really?” Eclipse acted the part, wide eyed and curious tone, “What if I told you that it was all to make people like me? To force a narrative that I’m the good one even if I have the same violent thoughts as Moon does?”

That…didn’t have the impact he wanted. The human just blinked and said, “Sun, I hate to tell you this, but everyone has violent thoughts now and again. I’ve wanted to punch Moon in the face a lot but I don’t because I can control myself. Thinking a thought isn’t the same as acting on it.”

Eclipse didn’t want to hear that, “So basically even if my inner dialogue was about how disgusting everybody is and how stupid I think they’re acting, it’s fine?”

“It’s not hurting anybody for you to think that, even if I do worry that you’re so upset with the world. Sun, maybe we should have some kind of staff therapist or something. I think you’d benefit.”

He laughed, but he had to control it because they noticed something was up.

“Sun, are you okay? This is really weird behavior from you.” They actually took his hand, and Eclipse faltered. Even with all he’d just said, all the other slips he’d done in front of this person, they were stupid enough to look with concern. They either really loved Sun or had no self preservation. He chose the second option for his assumption.

“I just don’t think I’m really the person you think I am,” he teased the truth, but knew they’d take it another way from the ‘sad’ tone he used.

“I’m willing to learn…Sun, I think you need to hear this now.” They blushed again, all the way to their ears this time as they held his hand, “Sun, I want to be your partner. I know it’s a stressful time, but…I’ve had feelings for you for a while and I just want to let you know  you aren’t alone.”

He wanted to push them away, make them lose the feelings they had for his captor, the annoy little wretch, but…he also wanted to see how far this would go.

“You want to date ME?” He acted shocked, then changed tact, “Well, can you show me? How much you want me?”

Their whole body started warming up, he could see it on his sensors, but the agreed with a nod and pulled ‘Sun’ toward the tower. Oh he was going to LOVE lording this over Sun.

“I never expected you to be so forward but…I-I do want to you to know how much I care so…I’ll take good care of you.”

He didn’t want to admit what that loving look did to him. He knew it wasn’t for him, it was for Sun, but…but he wanted it anyway. God he hated that Sun got to have looks like that and be oblivious from his own neurosis.

Taking him to Sun’s room, they laid him down on the bed and stroked his face…Sun’s face. “You look irritated. What’s wrong?”

“I’m just wondering why I get this kind of attention and not other people,” it was getting harder to keep Sun’s voice.

“Because I see you, all that you’ve ever shown me, even the parts you didn’t want me to see. Like just now,” their hands slid down his chest and stomach and it made him arch, “you’re angry and don’t feel like you deserve what I want to give. But you do. No matter how bad the thoughts you’ve had, or the pain you’ve been through, you still deserve to be loved.”

They were still talking to Sun, but…he couldn’t just ignore those words when they’d hit something so deep in his soul.

“P-please keep saying that,” he begged in Sun’s reedy register, feeling it more appropriate than his own growl would have been.

“Of course, sweetheart,” they smiled so softly, making the rage and hurt in his chest well up into his eyes. Why could they not be looking at him instead? He wanted them to say this to HIM and not Sun. “Actions speak louder than words. Your actions toward me have always been considerate,” their hands slowly pulled down the jester pants and exposed the modesty hatch, which was a hair’s breadth from opening from how much Eclipse wanted to feel their touch. “and you’re worth my actions now. You are always worth loving. Always.”

The tears spilled out and the hatch opened, tendril writhing in the sudden chill of the air and petals dripping.

“Can you say that with me, hon?” their hand wrapped around his tendril and stroked gently up and down, “That you’re worth loving?”

“I…” he swallowed, having almost slipped with his voice, “I’m worth loving…”

“That’s my good boy,” they cooed, and his tendril squeezed around their arm as they kept stroking it, “Now do you want me to undress or just take care of you like this?”

“J-just like this. Please don’t stop.” Well, there went his voice a bit, and they tilted their head.

“heh, your voice gets deep when you’re running hot, huh?” they giggled and kept moving, making him gasp and grip the sheets, “It’s very sexy, though. I don’t mind.”

Oh god they’d just complimented his voice. HIS voice. “G-good…mmnn, can’t stop it now.”

“That’s fine, sweetie. You’re still my good boy. Is it okay if I touch your pussy?” their words were so warm and sweet, he just wanted to drink them.

“Please do,” Eclipse hated that he was begging but his brain was not home at the moment. He was being led around by what felt good and he just wanted to feel MORE of them doting on him.

Their smile was so bright, he focused on it and let his mouth hang open, soft moans starting as their fingers went in.

“You’re so handsome when you’re moan for me, love,” they murmured and he arched his back with a gasp as they found the tender spot inside him, “Right there, huh? Okay, thank you for telling me how you can. You’re so open for me, I love you so much.”

He couldn’t think, couldn’t speak, just crying and gasping and writhing as they pleasured him in both places, utterly lost in the sensations and how desperately he wanted their eyes to keep looking into his.

“I want you to just let yourself go as soon as you want. I’m showing you how much I care about you, and that means you get everything you need.”

That alone got him over the edge and spurting all over their hands and his stomach, whimpering as he choked on his voice.

“There we go. Aren’t you so good for me?” They leaned up and kissed him, very gently and loving. Eclipse just hummed needily into it. “Now, let me clean us up and we can cuddle.”

Nodding, he lay there and watched them. Their every move was motivated by tenderness, whispering praises for letting them take care of him, for being so still while they cleaned and not taking over, for giving them the chance to love him.

When they were both clean, the human snuggled into the bed next to him and hugged him tight. “Let’s rest, Sunshine. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

The little nickname hit him like a ton of bricks. Of course…well, the tears were already flowing, why not let them go again? Eclipse held them close and let the body enter sleep mode, because even if he wasn’t in control when it woke up, he wouldn’t want to be. He’d be keeping these memories on loop, over and over…because for a few precious seconds, he was loved.

[majoringinsarcasm]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on A03?

71! I’ve deleted and orphaned a few over the years though.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

491,986

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently on the Ace Attorney train but I’ve dipped into Good Omens a bit, and I’ll never say no to any of my old faves.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Inside Jokes (MHA)

2. Surprise Party (MHA)

3. Complete The <3 (Haikyuu)

4. And They Were Roommates (Haikyuu)

5. Keeping Up With the Reserve Course (Danganronpa)

And because NONE of those are ace attorney haha the highest kudos fic for that fandom is: the kiss and cry

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to do as many as I can even if I’m late because comments mean a lot to me. I have not replied to every single one but I try my best.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

(currently not finished and posted so this answer will change) Uhhhhh all mine usually have a happy ending with angst being at the start or middle. I guess maybe OH duh

“a fizz and a pop” which is a Crowley pov fic I wrote after the season two finale. “a rumble and a hum” is about equal angst but Aziraphale’s pov and I meant them to be a pair so those two for sure

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them have happy endings but Happiest in universe is probably Indirect Correlation which is a MikexBill fic taking place in a nobody died AU of the second chapter of the IT movies when they’re all adults. Loved that one and it got lovely reception on the timeline when I shared it. Bike night!!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet. Got some comments that I still don’t know if they were trolls or not

9. Do you write smut?

I do and want to improve.

10. Do you write crossovers?

None currently posted but I had a Free! x Host Club fic way back in the day I ended up deleting. And I want to combine some Ghost Trick characters into an AA fic I’m planning. So I’m not opposed if the mood strikes

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge but I’ve gotten one of those scam “we love your work” comments so who knows.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not. (I don’t think I dont remember anyone asking unless they did and I’m forgetting and I don’t wanna go check Again I keep flipping back and forth).

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Haha does role playing with friends count? Not yet but maybe someday. I’ve written fics that my friends have inspired and I shared the progress with though. Oh no that’s a lie I have once but it’s no longer around. Hope that person is doing well.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

See this is tricky because I have ships I love that I’ve written about and ships I love that I enjoy without creating for it. I’ll say Hinata and Kageyama from Haikyuu though they are a ship for life.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

All of them uhhhh I have a 10k wip that may never see the light of day about cheating and marriage proposals but we’ll see if that ever becomes a thing.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think when the iron is hot my sentence structure for comparing things is really sharp. I love writing people talking and often Hate having to add the proper fillers in between which is why Way back in the day I loved dialogue only fics. And chat fics / social media I LOVE those.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

If someone told me to describe a setting, room or outdoors doesn't matter, or they would put me in a meat grinder I would just jump in. I have a project that will force me to practice though

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I’ve done my fair share of google translate this phrase in the past but I don’t know how accurate that ever is and I’m not skilled enough in any language other than English to attempt it in a meaningful way

19. First fandom you wrote for?

An RPF / Real Person Fiction “couple” and if you don’t know that’s for the better. (It was not Dan and Phil in case people are trying to guess it was specific and niche and that’s all you’re getting bc it’s no longer posted thank goodness)

But aside from that the first fandom is Free! Iwatobi Swim Club. Miss those boys.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

It’s a toss up between Surprise Party (MHA) and you’re in his recent texts, I’m in his shitty car, we are not the same (Until Dawn).

Surprise Party I feel like is the most fun I’ve had with smut and it’s also my first ever fic someone did a podfic for which was so insane I was buzzing for a week afterwards. And recent text / shitty car I just think it flows so well and captures the personalities of Chris and Josh in a way I really love. Not 100% canon accurate but canon in the scenario I put them in if that makes sense.

This was super fun. I haven’t looked at my stuff via statistics in a long while. Makes me excited for the potential of the new year. Anyone who sees this I encourage you to look up your stuff even if you don’t post about it. Helped me remember some of my old favorites

[haroldgross]

New Post has been published on Harold Gross: The 5a.m. Critic

New Post has been published on http://literaryends.com/hgblog/three-body-san-ti/

Three Body (San ti)

[2.5 stars]

The Three Body Problem, by Cixin Liu, was one of the most celebrated and respected hard science fiction novels of the last few decades. It is Russian-novel complex, but utterly consistent and fascinating. It was ripe for a media treatment… and there are two.

The second arrives in March 2024 on Netflix by way of the Game of Thrones team. But the first was a 30 episode extravaganza from China, where the book was originally written. I have higher hopes for the Netflix production having seen the teaser recently, but the Chinese original, while a commitment to be sure, is a fascinating example of adaptation. Whether you love it or hate it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a single book (or half a book in this case) given that much space to exist in broadcast media.

So, to explain that… Three Body is the first in a trilogy of books, so when I saw a count of 30 episodes, I assumed it was covering the entire scope (10 per book) or at least a truly detailed dramatization of the the wide-ranging first book. I was so wrong… and that is part of my fascination with, and frustration with, the series.

As with all adaptations, there are changes in the broadcast series from the book. Some are interesting, but many are rather off-putting, ultimately. And the pace of the reveal is even slower than the book… which is saying something. I can’t say I understand the reason for that change in particular. The story barely has any pace until the 19th episode. I don’t mind philosophical musing and discussions, but I know the story and holding it back as long as they did was not a way to hook folks in my opinion.

Add to this the additional challenge that some of the main motivations were being rewritten even after they’d been established, sometimes more than once. While I accept that the reasons we do things are often many-layered, you shouldn’t shift the main drive, or even deny it, once things are codified. The core act in this story is set up and reconceived many times over the episodes. Some reasons dovetail nicely, others don’t.

Ultimately, the conclusion  of the series sells a very different ending than the book. And again, I emphasize this doesn’t even quite cover the first half of the book. However the final frame leaves you with a definitive “The End,” implying there is no more to come, so whatever you’re going to take from it, you’ve a finite pool of action and dialogue. That ultimate message isn’t entirely incompatible with the original trilogy, but it is reductive and unsatisfying for those who have read it. If you haven’t, well, you’d have to let me know. I can’t forget the story enough to approximate that experience.

And now a moment about subtitles… I expect some variance in quality of subtitles, especially in TV. But around episode 19 the translations got really, really bad. Like they read as nonsense bad. If you didn’t know the story, I’m not even sure if you could follow the plot at that point, though I imagine you can make some guesses based on what you know and then what you learn. The Dali-esque lyrics and music that run before and after each episode don’t really help either, implying meaning that mostly had no place in the story as shown. And many of them are in English. Or at least they are using English words…I still don’t know what a lot of them meant in context.

I will say that some of the direct dramatizations were exactly what I’d pictured (in a good way) and that the finale is as spectacular as the scene they took it from  in the book. The coda that follows is where the story completely petered out for me. Perhaps they intend to follow it up, but I’m assuming this is all we’re going to get. To their credit, the did bring it to a final moment and message. And neither are out of sync with Liu’s, but they’re delivered in a way that feels unfair and unfinished after such a long journey, and very myopic. Again, I have more hope for the Netflix version, though they too could foul it up big time if they try too hard.

While not streaming generally, the Chinese version has been available via PBS. And, if nothing else, read the original book, it is truly spectacular and translated beautifully by fellow author Ken Liu (no relation). The second book’s translation is less adept, but the Liu’s reteam for the third book in the series. And the whole journey is on a universe-spanning scale that is truly amazing to travel.

Where to watch

[megashadowdragon]

curiouscat posts on gourmet of gluttonys account for re zero ( spoilers for web novel and light novel) regarding their opinionso n various topics in re zero

how is reinhard childish Reinhard has been directly described as “more of a child than Felt in many ways” in various sources. It also fits with his underdeveloped social skills, his struggle to comprehend his own emotions, and his discomfort with anything related to sex as shown in Riot in Flanders.

Is Reinhard really as kind as people claim him to be? Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 4 days ago Reinhard is a person who is kind to a self-destructive extent. You really don’t need to look farther than the Volume 1 epilogue to see that. He does bad things every now and then, but they are usually either necessary or due to a lack of forethought such as with Felt.

Do you think Emilia's obsession with promises will change in the story? Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 14 Jul Not really. Promises are a much bigger thing in the Re: Zero universe, to the point that even the archbishops would keep them according to Tappei:

Q: The archbishops are called filthy filth, but they all come in openly and introduce themselves. Aren’t they actually unusually forthright? Perhaps they’re the type that are unusually good at keeping promises?

A: Oh, they’ll keep promises. When they meet someone, they’ll greet them and give their names. That’s always been the way of filth. They’ll keep a promise, and if they don’t feel like keeping it, they wouldn’t make it in the first place. They just do what they’ve done. If what they want to do is a sneaky action, they’ll be sneaky, and if what they want to do can only be done by being open, they’ll be open. They’re scum.

It’s even more sacred to Spirit Arts users, and it’s not even a character flaw so…yeah, I don’t see that changing.

what is the evidence for the roswaal is anneroses father theory Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 14 Jul She’s confirmed to be Roswaal’s next vessel, Roswaal and Grace have a lot of dialogue that seems to imply a deeper relationship between them, and her physical appearance matches many aspects of Roswaal’s appearance.

I think if emillia camp found out roswaal was possessed his descendants for 400 years they wouldn’t really care they would just shrug and sigh  For that’s what they expected from him Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 14 Jul No??????

It’s child murder at best and horribly mangling their soul into a horrific amalgam of him and them at worst (depending on which you believe is more accurate to the way Roswaal transfers bodies). It’s utterly disgusting and Beatrice, someone who isn’t exactly a moral paragon in addition to being someone unbelievably close to Roswaal, only didn’t hate him because she saw that’s what he wanted her to do. That certainly doesn’t apply to people like Garf who hated him even before such a revelation.

Whether they could act on their anger is more arguable.

how would emillia and the rest of the camp like frederica react if they knew roswaal was possesssing his descendants and is actually roswaal a mathers ( do they already know) Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 14 Jul Outside of Ram, negatively of course. It’s a fucking evil thing to do.

Out of the main Emilia camp members, only Beatrice knows. She’s not exactly a moral paragon and has a much closer relationship with Ros when it comes to anyone alive except maybe Ram, so her reaction is probably a horrible one to judge from.

What if the archbishop of gluttony ate willhelms name instead of Julius let’s say after Theresa  was taken down how would this effect the characters how would this effect Reinhard and heinkel what would a meeting between willhelm and Reid be like if he does go with the group Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 25 Jul Fuck, that’s a good question.

Rein and Heinkel’s relationship would quickly repair itself, which would be the ultimate fuck you to Wilhelm. Imagine how damaging it would be to one’s mental state to find out the relationship of your son and grandson is better off without you ever existing. Calling it devastating would be underselling it.

As for Wilhelm meeting Reid…well, I doubt Wilhelm has the same hero worship as Julius for him. I also don’t think Reid would really care that he’s the grandfather of the current Sword Saint considering his reaction to learning about Reinhard. Reid would just curbstomp Wilhelm, mock him, and do his best to humiliate him similar to what he did to Julius. The main difference is that Wilhelm doesn’t have a mechanism to gain the same level of power-up Julius did, so he would likely be unable to hold back Reid in the finale. Even if he did somehow, I doubt it would help his mental state much other than make him feel more at ease with being Subaru’s ally.

Quite frankly, Reid is designed pretty purposefully to be a fool to Julius and Reinhard. It’s unlikely anyone but them would receive significant development from interacting with him since his character relates directly to their main issues.

what if willhelms name was eaten by gluttony  after theresias defeat  how would that impact things and effect characters relationships Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 29 Sep We’d probably get a similar scenario to Pride IF in regards to Heinkel and Reinhard. Wilhelm being gone seems to make it easier for the two to grow closer again based on Tappei’s notes in Pride IF. I’d expect immense turmoil from Wilhelm following such a revelation.

Considering Subaru would be the only one who would remember him, it is quite likely Wilhelm will grow even closer to him similar to what happened with Julius. There’s also a debate to be had on if he would join the Emilia camp or try to rejoin the Crusch camp considering Crusch and Felix would no longer have any idea who he was. Wilhelm is such an honorable person he may rejoin them on principle, but there is an argument to be made that the shock and trauma from being erased will make him more rash and desperate to stay by someone who remembers him.

How would carol and grimm react if they learned the truth about roswaal considering their relationship with julia Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 21 Sep Upset of course. Wouldn’t you be upset if you found out your best friend’s death, a major cause of guilt for you, didn’t actually result in their “death”? Wouldn’t you be upset and humiliated if you carried that with you for decades only to find out they were fine? Wouldn’t you feel disgusted with yourself for being so close to someone who has revealed themselves to be so inhuman that even their children are used as tools?

Can you maybe clarify how Reinhard would be able to beat Ainz's time stop, some sort of sealing, teleportation, True Death, copying abilities ( someone said this I'm not sure how accurate it is ) or any of the other versatile hax abilities he has? Ainz likely would use them out of paranoia/cautiousness if he sees Reinhard as a threat. I honestly can't see how Ainz wouldn't win even in a 1v1 due to the sheer difference in versatility. Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 4 Sep Little known fact: I am actually very into Overlord. So let me deconstruct the common arguments:

1. Teleportation. Teleportation doesn’t matter if the speed difference is so great that you never get to use it. Ainz has to actually cast the spell after all. Overlord has awful speed scaling, their best feat being not far above supersonic (Albedo moving faster than some soldiers can see and Shalltear significantly heating up air from her movements) while characters like Julius are above lightning speed. Lowballing Rein puts him in a much higher speed tier than Ainz, but if we factor in Reid easily outspeeding light…yeah, Ainz is WAAAAY slower.

2. Time Stop. Time Stop is so overrated. There are so many countermeasures in Overlord alone and semi-canon side material indicates there are plenty of characters in other franchises who would override it. Reinhard being able to literally negate the majority of magic used on him makes it highly likely time stop will do little. Even if it somehow does stop him though, we get to the biggest problem…

3. Rein’s mana absorption. As demonstrated in the literal first volume of the LN, Rein drains all magic from both the atmosphere and those around him. Emilia, the character with the biggest mana pool in the series, was feeling sick in seconds and Felt was instantly knocked out when he did it to her. Not only does that prevent magic from being used against him as any mana will be absorbed before it can even be cast, but all of that magic buffs him EVEN FURTHER making that ridiculous speed gap even larger. This also doesn’t account for Rein’s base DPs that would negate most of any magic that Ainz could use against him even if Ainz somehow got around it.

4. True Death, even if it somehow was used despite the numerous anti-magic Hax Rein has, only negates “low-level” resurrection as stated by the LN itself. Reinhard is being granted infinite resurrections by the literal soul of the world. Arguing that said resurrections are “low-level” seems incredibly hard to believe.

5. Ainz does not have copying abilities, I have no idea where this is from.

6. Wish Upon a Star is outright stated to have many limits upon it. It can also outright just not work, as shown in the Evileye side story where Ainz uses up all his excess XP and gets no answer to his question on how to help Evileye.

7. Most other hax are useless fra.

So…what we have here is a supersonic+ character who mainly relies on Hax and magic vs an FTL character who can constantly negate hax and prevent magic casting. Even ignoring the Destructive Potential difference…yeah, Ainz ain’t winning.

In the Julius was the illegitimate child of roswaal k mathers and a juulikus woman and being raised by his uncle  how would roswaal l mathers dying and possessing Julius effect things how would the changes effect the camps as well as  Felix and Reinhard. Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 17 Aug Crusch camp and Felt camp might legitimately cut all ties with the Emilia camp if they don’t kick out Roswaal, and even then their relationship would be strained. Felix and Reinhard really care about Julius and the death of Julius as they know him would likely be something neither would ever be able to overlook.

I doubt there’s any chance Ana would be anything other than an enemy to Emilia as well considering her and Julius are really close.

you know Yorna’s leadership and city were to what Emilia was hoping to achieve  One of the major issues with Emilia is her lack of leadership skills or experience  vincent and Pricilla’s personalities and leadership styles contrast too much with Emilia for her to be taught by them Plus Yorna has a major soft-spot for persecuted Demi-Humans which Emilia can fill. Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 26 May That’s a good point I haven’t really thought of. Would be interesting to see at the very least.

I think willhelm would be understanding to roswaal given willhelms treatment of his son and grandson due to theresia Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 12 May I doubt it. Wilhelm treats Heinkel and Rein badly, but that’s mainly due to him heavily misinterpreting both of their actions. There’s really no ambiguity when it comes to the awful shit Roswaal did.

Out of the 5 candidates for the throne and their members who would be willing to overlook roswaals possessing his descendants if he was part of their camp Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 26 May None of them. Something like that opposes all their moral views (yes, even Priscilla since I know people have this idea that she is amoral, something shown several times to not be the case).

How would emillia and co react if they found out about how roswaal possesses his descendants for 400 years and the possibility of annerose being roswaals daughter Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 2 Jun Disgust for Roswaal.

Fear for Annerose considering his track record.

how would willhelm react if he learnt about roswaal possessing his descendants Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 29 Apr If I had to guess? Disgust, anger, betrayal, etc.

Knowing a friend like Julia did such awful acts would make anyone angry.

this reminds me of subaru I just realized both heinkel and subaru both have feelings of inferiority to their parents (which caused subaru to be a neet) heinkel is nowhere near his parents strength and felt the weight of his parents legacywhile subaru felt inferior to his father and is burdened with being called kenichis sondo you think that this will play a part /factor in subarus relationship/interaction with heinkel

was aldebarans use of his authority to try and convince priscilla to change her mind manipulating her Anonymous Gluttony_Bishop 15 Apr I guess you could call it that, but that removes the context of the situation. As Al points out, Priscilla’s life is very much in danger if she continues being in the Royal Selection. We’ve also already seen that Priscilla can and has been killed by assassins before based off Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies. Priscilla is not invincible despite her immense power and luck, and Al is not omniscient. If Priscilla gets poisoned or killed in her sleep, it’s not a guarantee he can always be there to bail her out even with her insane luck.

Priscilla herself also points out her pride and duty to finish what she started is pretty much the only things keeping her in the Selection, something Al would never fathom dying over considering his distinct lack of belief in things like that.

You can argue about the morality of trying to force Priscilla to change her choice to save her life, but Al has never been the most moral person. He believes in saving the skins of himself and those around him at all costs. If he has to humiliate himself or resort to cheap tactics, he will do so without hesitation to save those he cares about and himself.

[the-lunar-system]

I’d like to preface this post by saying that I love Stardew Valley. It’s a comfort game, and I have over 500 hours logged on Steam. That being said, as a disabled person, it sometimes makes me very, very upset. Why? Because of  the casual ableism in how it treats George Mullner.

George Mullner is a character in Stardew Valley who uses a wheelchair. He’s an older man, and generally pretty grumpy. He spends most of his time inside his house, watching television. With how the other villagers treat him, I don’t blame him. George later reveals in his six heart cutscene that he uses a wheelchair due to an injury working in the old mines, not because of his age.

So what’s the big deal? There’s a disabled character in the game, isn’t that a good thing? Yes, but. The way that other characters treat George, the only disabled person in the game, is where the trouble comes in.

In Harvey’s two heart cutscene, you walk into George’s house, and accidentally interrupt a house call by the doctor. He is telling George to make some “lifestyle changes,” telling him to reduce sodium and do some moderate exercise with his arms. (George’s sprite indicates that he self propels his wheelchair, which requires a lot of upper body strength. He’s already getting exercise through that.) George responds to Harvey, saying that he knows his own body, and doesn’t appreciate being told what to do with it. Harvey replies that he is a doctor, and spent 8 years in school, and thus he knows what’s best for George. They then notice the player, and George requests your second opinion. Your options are:

A) Tell George to follow Harvey’s advice. This option gets you +40 friendship points with Harvey, and is marked green on the Wiki. It’s obviously the choice the game wants you to make. Harvey reiterates that he is only trying to help, and George capitulates. 

B) Say that George does know his own body. This option gets you -40 friendship points with Harvey. Harvey sighs, and threatens to tell George’s wife on him. George begrudgingly capitulates, and Harvey lectures you for sending his patient mixed messages.

What’s so bad about this? For one, doctors don’t always know best, especially when it comes to their disabled patients. If I had just listened to the first doctor I talked to about my disability, instead of self advocating and getting another, my degenerative condition would have gone undiagnosed and untreated for much longer. Potentially years. As a disabled person myself, I believe George when he says he knows his own body, because I know how wrong doctors can be. 

The other main issue with this cutscene is how infantilized George is. He’s a grown man in his own doctor’s appointment, even if he is making a mistake in not listening to Harvey, he’s a grown man, and entitled to his own choices. But Harvey threatens to tattle to George’s wife about it. He’s treating George like a child, unable to make his own decisions, who has to be “managed” by his more abled partner. 

The second ableist cutscene is Penny’s two heart cutscene, and in my opinion, this one is much worse. In it, George is checking his mailbox. He tries to reach a letter wedged in the back, and has some difficulty. He asks himself how he is going to reach it. Penny sees him, and comes over. She grabs his wheelchair and pushes him out of the way, grabbing the letter for him. George gets upset at Penny for treating him like he’s helpless. At this point the player comes on screen, and Penny asks if you were watching. The player has three options:

A) Say that no, you were just walking by. This has no effect on friendship.

B) Tell her she did a kind thing. Penny thanks you. This option gives you +50 friendship points, and is marked in green on the Wiki. It is the choice the game wants you to make. 

C) Tell Penny she should have asked George before trying to help. Penny then apologizes to George, but you lose 50 friendship points with her. This is obviously not what the game wants you to do.

Regardless of what option you take, George apologizes to Penny for snapping at her. Penny asks the player what they think about growing old. 

What’s bad about this scene? Well, for starters, by moving George’s wheelchair without consent, Penny commits assault. But George is framed as being unreasonable, because he’s upset that he was physically assaulted. Penny is a great character, and I love her, but in this cutscene she is both legally and morally in the wrong. And while the game does technically give you the option to call her out for it, it’s barely there, and strongly discouraged by gameplay. The real kicker is that this is the new dialogue for this interaction, as changed by the 1.4 update, *in an attempt to make it less ableist.*

Lastly, in George’s six heart event, he expresses quite a bit of internalized ableism. He says he wishes he could get up from “this infernal chair.” He tells the story of how thirty years ago, he was injured in a coal mining accident. There is no option for player interaction.

This cutscene is one that is somewhat more nuanced for me. It is true that some people hate that they’re disabled or need a wheelchair, especially in older generations. Internalized ableism is a real and terrible thing. The issue with it is that George is a fictional character, as written by a real person, who as far as I know is abled. And this is the problem. When a disabled character is written as having internalized ableism by an abled creator, that’s not internalized ableism, that’s just plain ableism. Why is it that almost every disabled character hates themselves or their disability? Why are they always unhappy? 

Why does Stardew Valley have these scenes, and this ableism? Is it somehow important to the plot, or the characters? I don’t think so. And for me, and other disabled people playing the game as a form of escapism, or because the Valley is supposed to be a better place, It’s simply a jarring reminder that the real world hates us.

[trippingonthelight]

One Line Prompts #4: Danny - (“You make me feel safe” and “just tell me everything’s gonna be okay”)

an: okay so you ever have those almost-relationships that could be so great if they worked out but it’s so tense trying to get it to work out bc no one will admit their feelings for eachother so u just stand there like🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️waiting for the other person to speak up… yeah this is about when it works out <3

cw: this is kinda sort of a flashback in a way (if you squint), reader and Danny are both set in high school so underage drinking (but be honest who didn’t…), angst, mutual pining, Sam being an instigator, josh has literally no dialogue idk what to tell u he just didn’t have anything to say. Enjoy Danny lane <3

You could tell from the way your shoulder harshly smacked against the doorframe as you tried to shuffle past the partygoers and into the busy house that you made a mistake coming here tonight. At your friend’s house on the block where you grew up, they threw a graduation party for everyone who got their diplomas today. The party marked not just the end of school, but new beginnings for the graduates. A proper home-town sendoff into the real world… 

God you hated this part…  God you hated him right now… 

Childhood friends from the beginning, your summers were always filled with Danny’s presence. For days on end you would hang out till the sun went down, then with the other neighborhood kids (Kiszka’s always in tow) you would keep each other company in the dark woods where bonfires roared for hours into the languid summer evenings, cool fall nights, and frigid winters. As you grew up, time spent with him started to feel different. It started as an innocent connection of young souls trying to navigate growing up together, and finding joy wherever they can; whether it was going on adventures together in nature, shopping with the other kids at the mall, or just enjoying each other’s company while you sit on the docks and asked all the questions to each other that you were too scared to ask adults yet…

“hey y/n, what do you think being in love means…” 

“Danny, what do you do when you get scared… “

“what are we gonna go when we have to leave home?” “I dunno, guess we’ll figure it out together…” 

But as you got older, you started to see him. Really see him. His presence wasn’t just a constant comfort anymore. He changed, but in all the good ways. He got older and taller and grew out his hair. He became more introspective, reflective, soft spoken, though his loud laughter remained. Not too long after you met as kids, he started playing in a band with the Kiszka’s on the weekends and eventually every day after school. You remember the first day you were invited over to watch them practice. Jake was the loudest over everyone except for Josh, who in turn just tried to out-do Jake’s incredible volume. Sam hung back with Danny, keepers of the rhythm and the peace between the fiery twins. If they can mellow out a little and not physically fight each other on stage, you think they could really make it one day. 

This was your routine for years. You were there with him through it all as they developed their sound, watched them all grow… One night you were over and you watched them play this new song they’re trying to work out. You can’t really remember the name, some sweet tune with a line about morning birds… But you’re watching him closely, a gentle curiosity with his every move. 

You saw him smiling and laughing with his best friends, the five of you in your own world in the Kiszka’s garage where all that matters is music and togetherness. It was undeniably your comfort place… 

You saw the way the dim work lamps they set up as makeshift stage lights casted a gentle glow on his features. He looks so soft, you think to yourself as you fiddle with the sleeves of your sweatshirt, wishing it was his hand instead you were grasping. It seemed like over a matter of months he went from this sweet boy you loved to hang out with to a kind young man who you still loved to hang out with, except now he makes you nervous. Because you like him… “like” doesn’t even seem right. “Liking” someone means you don’t really know them yet. You knew Danny well, better than most, actually… Your young heart didn’t want to admit it out of fear, but looking back on it now you would absolutely call it love. 

You saw the way he caught you staring, and grinned at you. He jokingly says, “you got a staring problem, sweetheart?” Sweetheart….. it makes your heart jump up in your throat. It made him just as nervous to say it, he doesn’t really know why it slipped out. Maybe the adrenaline of getting that new beat down perfectly, maybe the pride he felt performing in front of you, or just your presence in his favorite place…he loved having you here… loved spending time with you… loved you too, even if he couldn’t tell anyone else but Sam. Jake and Josh would be too practical, tell him to go for it. But the trepidation remained and Sam would tease him about it for years, “ya know one day Daniel, she’s just gonna slip through your fingers if ya don’t say something… but who am I to meddle in the affairs of young love…”

“Shut up, Sam…” 

Your feelings for each other raged on internally all throughout high school. You got to watch the band take off, got to watch them get more and more attention, got to watch them bloom… When Jake and Josh graduated they got really serious about the band, even signing contracts and planning recording sessions for a real album… You only had a year left of school yourself, and you had so much you wanted to accomplish. You would imagine life after graduation and how amazing it will all be, you and Danny finally free from the necessary evil of education and setting off into the world with a freedom you can’t even comprehend yet. You realized that high school isn’t forever, and life is out there waiting for you… 

But, you also came to the realization that when he gets that diploma in his hands, nothing would be left to tether him here anymore. Family, friends, holidays… sure he would come back. But it slowly settled upon you, the weight of  knowing he couldn’t stay. Not when the life he always dreamed of is right there waiting for him. Why would anyone stay when all that opportunity was just out there for the taking?

Earlier today as the graduates sat in anticipation of their diplomas, you sat with his family in the stands of the football field nervously bouncing your legs. Being here meant that you were acknowledging the end, welcoming it even, and that made your stomach turn. It pissed you off…

You had to leave the ceremony early. He wanted a picture with you on the football field, but tears had already stained your cheeks and your dress. He texted you, 

where’d you go? 

just had to run home real quick. I’ll see you later okay? 

okay! see you later :) 

never has simple punctuation hid so much emotion from the receiver. He puts his phone in his back pocket and tries to smile through more pictures with Sam. His mom snaps one of all four of the guys; he wishes you were there.

—

So yeah, it was a huge mistake coming to this party. And it was an even bigger mistake getting a little drunk beforehand, shotgunning a couple of beers your dad won’t miss from the fridge in the garage and hopping on your bike to head to the party. Your head felt swimmy and clouded, aware of the feeling of the alcohol snaking its way through your bloodstream but no longer aware of your sadness. The anger though… that was harder to get rid of. 

Even harder to do was reign it in. So when Danny saw you walk in he excitedly came over to you, hoping whatever happened earlier had worked itself out for the sake of tonight. He wanted to just forget about it, intending to grab you in a hug and take you to the corner the boys had co-opted for the evening and just be in each other's company.

You really didn’t mean to snap at him...

He gave you a big smile, “Hey!” reaching for your arm. When his fingers barely make contact with your heated skin, you flinch and pull away. His face drops. 

“What’s up Danny?” You try to sound casual, but your anger seeps through. You can’t say too many words to him without tears welling up again because you know he’s on could nine right now, with music and touring being the only things on his horizon. Except for you. To him, you were still there. If only you knew it.

But your own misery at the idea of him going away eclipsed all the pride and happiness you felt for him at the moment. You were happy for him. That’s what made this so hard.

You weren’t proud of yourself for it, but you rolled your eyes at him when he didn’t respond. To be honest he just didn’t have the words. Didn’t know what to say.

“Whatever…” You shrug him off and head to the kitchen. 

He looks back at the guys, silently asking them if they just saw that. Josh and Sam confirm that yeah, weirdly enough that just happened. Determined to know what’s wrong, he follows you to the kitchen and leans back against the island as you pour a generous shot. “Think that’s a little more than a standard pour there, kid…” 

Kid… He was one year older than you… Kid…. you say it over and over in your head and coat it in an extra layer of disdain and resentment every time. Kid… you start to fabricate another reason to be upset so you don’t have to face yourself. that’s all I’ll ever be… some kid he hung out with… 

“Yeah that’s the point, Daniel.” You throw the shot back, it burns your throat but quiets your head a little. A fair enough trade. You walk away from the island and kept your distance from him for the next hour, huddling with a group of girls you barely spoke to during school but with the performance you were putting on, they could have been your lifelong friends. You concoct the story in your head to make this all seem easier, justified even. He doesn’t even need me. He’s gonna go off and be so successful and forget this ever even happened… what a waste of time, you lie to yourself. Fuck him… 

You were angry, that much is true. But never at him.

You were angry at the clock, at the calendar, at the map… at the distance apart you’ll be from each other that will change every night for him as he goes on tour. At the hours you wasted mulling over in your mind how to tell him you loved him instead of just saying it. At yourself, for running out of time and for being mad right now. For every new realization like this that hit you it felt like the air became vaporized agony, each passing breath more shallow and painful than the last. You took a swig from what ever bottle they were passing around at the moment. What ever will make it stop… 

He had never seen you like this. Swaying a little where you stood and your laughter so hollow. Like you were laughing to respond to the group, to blend in, but nothing was funny. He saw it in your eyes, you were hurting, bad. He knew you better than anyone, he knows how you can be when hard stuff hits… It made him sad, what happened? He couldn’t watch you wince again after taking another pull from the bottle you had at the moment. 

He approaches the group of girls whom you tried to hide in all night. “Ladies, do you mind if I steal her for a sec?” The girls didn’t know any better and were all giggles and smirks when he asked that, pushing you forward to him in a way that made you feel like a lamb going to the slaughter. Truthfully, he made you feel safer than anyone else in any other circumstance. But now, you can feel the conversation you’ve been needing to have is imminent, and it scares you.

You grabbed the closest bottle in one hand behind your back as he took your other and led you away. Away from the music that beat against the inside of your head violently. The lights that flashed and changed in a way that made you feel sick. It started to settle in, the reality of your decisions. What if he hadn’t stood there all night with you… where would you have gone? The thought terrified you and the bottle you snagged on the way out of the kitchen clattered to the floor, thankful that it didn't shatter and that it was out of your hands.

You felt a little more sober when he pulled you both into the hallway bathroom. For the first time all day you were grateful to be near him. The noise quieted and the soft interior of the room made you feel a little safer, less on edge. A little nightlight was the only light source, but that’s all he needed to see you stiffen, cross your arms, and lean against the counter. He leans back against the door, drink still in hand. He takes a swig and a beat before saying, “so you wanna tell me about it?” 

No. You don’t, actually. You shake your head like a petulant child, eyes cast down at the floor with a knowing shame. This isn’t how this was supposed to happen……… the phrase repeated itself over and over in your mind. You’re just feeling too much. Guilt, anger at the situation, anger at yourself, anxiety about so many “what ifs” you lost count. You mumble the phrase out to yourself. Your voice is meek, but he heard you. He doesn’t press for you to speak up, just takes a step closer to you. 

“How what was supposed to happen?” His voice is gentle. He just wants to know what’s wrong, how he can help, not knowing he’s the problem.

“This… you and me…” You wave your hands between the both of you symbolizing your palpable connection and also inability to coherently speak. Your head was buzzing and you felt the spins about to set in from your heart rate going up. You try not to say much, because the more you speak, the more your emotions start to build up in your chest. Rising to your throat and settling behind your eyes. You feel frantic even though you’re standing completely still, feel like he can read it all over you face even though he has no idea. You feel a crack in the dam that’s holding your emotions back, the alcohol not making it any easier to contain them. Then he speaks…

“what about you and me? come on y/n just talk to me… please…” he gently takes your hands, holding them halfway down so he can grip your wrists. He’s just so worried. Worried about what he did, worried about what someone else did to you, worried about what you did to yourself, why you’re self medicating when you hate to drink around anyone but him and the guys. You’re so special to him and this was such an important day, he just wanted you around for it all. Wanted to tell you… so many things..

When you weren’t there he was upset. But he’s trying to be with you now, you’re just not letting him. His plea finally tipped you over the edge, begging you for an answer when you would rather never speak again than give it to him. All at once you give it up. The dam breaks.

“Please what, Danny…  tell you how I’m so mad at literally everything right now?” The words slur together at first but you take a breath when his eyes go wide. You continue, “tell you how I’m scared shitless about what I’m gonna do without you when you leave? About how I think about where you’re gonna go and if you’ll be safe? If the guys will be safe? How I’m already so anxious about having to be here without you and how I’m gonna miss you so much?? How I love you and I always have, and I’m so mad at myself for telling you all this now that you’re leaving? Is that what you wanna hear about? Because I don’t fucking feel like talking.” 

There it was… he couldn’t explain why he was shocked. It’s what he wanted to hear more than anything, “I love you and I always have,” he couldn’t have put it better himself, and now he wants to sell all his plane tickets. Wants to unpack all his kits and equipment, wants to tear up the contracts, wants to undo it all, for you. He guesses the shock he feels is that you actually said it, and he didn’t have to imagine what it would be like to hear it anymore. He can just replay the memory now… or maybe hear it again. Your voice snaps him out of his own thoughts. 

“just… just tell me everything’s gonna be okay…” your voice cracked on the last word as you hid your face in your hands. nothing’s gonna be okay now…. or so it felt. You wanted to stomp and yell and let your tears run hot and angry down your ruddy cheeks. “Tell me it’s gonna be okay when you’re gone…” A little sob breaks through.

He silently reaches for you and pulls you into his embrace. He says it when he has you, “honey, c’mere…” pulling you impossibly close to him. You can’t help but fall into it. It’s what you wanted all night. What you both wanted.

“I’m just really scared, Danny. Everything’s about to change and I’m just not ready…” You finally admit.

He gets it, and he gets why you tried to hide it, tried to numb the pain of the inevitable… he just wishes you’d let yourself feel it - the shitty part that he had to come to terms with too. The part of this that meant the times that you get to spend together will be further apart. The part that made him think about how he can’t just show up to your door anymore either when he feels lonely or just wants to see you. The part that hurt you both too much to talk about until now. 

“I’ll stay…” He says, knowing he can’t. 

But seeing you cry hurts too much he would do anything to stop it. You’re drunk so you laugh at that even through your tears, “Now that would just be silly.” He laughs a little too, tears welling up around his amber eyes. Of course she would say that… The moment required silence, the heavy knowing kind of silence that both of you can feel. He tried to keep his breaths deep and steady so you can match them, but they’re shaking a little in his chest. He didn’t want to feel this part either. 

But now that you have, it’s not so bad. It stings, the pain and the sadness. Nothing has changed, he still has to go. You still have to finish school and go after dreams of your own. But everything has shifted. He smooths over your hair and makes you look up at him. His voice is so soft, you haven’t heard him like this before. Been this close before…

“It’s gonna be okay, ya know.. it’s gonna suck. Absolutely..” that makes you giggle. He smiles at that, remembering you’re actually a very happy drunk. The last bonfire of the summer taught him that. He continues, “but it’s not forever. And I’ll be home more often than you think.” He taps the top of your nose with his finger, just wanting to coax a other giggle from you. It worked. So he keeps going,

“Maybe when you graduate we’ll have a world tour scheduled and I can take ya across the pond. There’s some gorgeous golf courses over there I want you to see.”

You’ve never heard anything more genuine. He’s not trying to sell you on this little vision of the future. It’s just what he wants. The sweet admission makes you feel like maybe doing it all together is still possible. At least it can be, right now. 

You finally relax into his arms and he leans his head on top of yours. You just stand there, letting him hold you. And you hug him back, no longer wanting to be away from him. It slips out of you so easily when you said it to him, “you make me feel safe…” Your protector, your best friend… He feels safe with you too, signaling this to you by gripping you tighter and rubbing his big gentle hand up and down your back. 

“I’m sorry I was being so mean.” You look up at him, chin resting on his chest as your eyes lift to meet his stare. He puts a hand on the top of your head and smooths over your hair. He understands why you did it, doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. “Apology accepted… but you can talk to me… about anything. You know that, baby..” 

Baby…. you just like the way it sounds in his voice. 

“I know I can. This is just….” 

“heavy…” he finishes the thought for you. He understands. “Yeah, heavy…” you confirm his suggestion as you mess with the necklace he wore. It’s one you gave him, a crystal wrapped in wire and strung on a leather cord. He wears it most days. He wore it today when he walked across the stage, was holding the stone as he looked around for you in the crowd. Makes him feel connected to you even when you’re not around. So he doesn’t hesitate to take it off and put it around your neck. He thinks that you can keep talking later, there’s still time before he has to leave. So he chooses to lighten the moment as he finishes tying the cord, 

“Just a little something to remember me by…” He grins and you giggle, playfully thumping your hand against his solid chest. You feel grounded by the stone you picked out for him, grounded by his hands on you, grounded by how he’s looking at you. He tips your chin up again and makes you look at him. He needs to know, “so, we gonna do this?” 

You know what he means, you try to let him out of this one more time, try to give him an escape hatch. “Well,” you start. “it’s gonna hurt sometimes…” You thought he might reconsider, might step back and walk away. But he doesn’t, he just says, “then let it…” 

You didn’t know what your first kiss with Danny would be like. You definitely didn’t expect it to be in the bathroom of your neighbor’s house. But when it happened you couldn’t wait for the next one. He threaded his fingers through your hair, holding the back of your head with such sweetness. It was so soft you could have missed it if you weren’t listening, “can i kiss you…” a hurried nod from you and his lips are on yours. The first contact was a little awkward, in the sweet way where both of you realized too late that you were kissing your best friend, leaving you smiling too hard to keep going. You laugh, feeling the alcohol again make your brain go all swirly… only this time it doesn’t hurt. This time there’s no fear. Just you and him, and whatever’s on the horizon. The next one lands just perfectly. The plush of your lips meeting the soft curves of his own, bumping noses together and grabbing at him in the way you’ve dreamed about for so many nights now. Getting to hold him, be intimate with him. Finally… you feel yourself relax even more. Especially when he pulls away, holding your face in his hands and says,

“Let’s get back out there before people start talkin’ huh?”

He leads you both out and you follow him.

You’ll follow him anywhere.

[pandemoniumonwheels]

It's great how the show made sure to let its know that Moiraine is always dodging any questions she's asked and how good she is at that. Until she finally meets someone who doesn't buy her bullshit anymore.

I'm focusing on episodes 1-6 because those are relevant for this analysis.

Eamond’s Fielders never manage to get an answer from her. She either changes the topic or not even bother to speak with them. And when they have enough of it, she just dramatically leaves them with I've run out of patience. And time. Knowing they'll follow. And that's exactly what they do. It's even better, she manages to set everything this way that when they got separated all of the kids head to Tar Valon anyway. Nailed it. 10/10

Then we have Nyneave that made it her calling to challenge Moiraine every time she gets. Lan struggles with her, but Moiraine? She answers only the questions she chooses to answer and only when she decides it's the right time. When Nyneave challenges her to get an answer whether Moiraine will tell her when kids are in Tar Valon, Moiraine goes with her it's okay to be scared bit. And when Nyneave has nothing more to say, Moiraine reassures her she will tell her. Not because she was forced but because it's a perfect way to show Nyneave who is in the position of power. Moiraine is the one who has all the answers and it is always her decision to share them. Nyneave hates it and that's also why she's so adamant at hiding Rand and Mat later and sneaking out of the Tower. It's her little, childish rebellion. Again 10/10 for Moiraine.

Out-smarting kids is easy. Even if they're intelligent they lack experience. So how about those who are better at this game of half -ruths?

Alanna tries to get any answer from Moiraine. Nothing important really - the name of the dog. She fails. Their conversation in Moiraine's room when she tries to get the slightest piece of information about what Moiraine's agenda is doesn't help her either. Moiraine changes her tactic, she talks more but still does not share more than she really wants. And she ends the meeting when she feels she had enough. Once again 10/10 points for Moiraine.

Last but not least - every conversation with Liandrin. No matter how Liandrin tries to get under Moiraine's skin, she failed each time until Moiraine bit back and Liandrin was utterly defeated with we both know what would they [red sisters] do to him. But the real masterpiece is Liandrin cornering Moiraine in the Great Hall and still failing. Yes, she managed to put Moiraine in a very uncomfortable position (I'm talking metaphorically not about kneeling) but when it comes to getting answers she failed. I was un........ AWE she could channel. Again, 10/10, brilliant performance by Moiraine.

And now we reach the moment when Moiraine a mastermind, the queen of avoiding answers finally loses the game because all the previous scenes were a clever build up for one simple dialogue.

Siuan: Where did you travel?

Moiraine: From Tear to the Two Rivers. And many towns between.

The real question Siuan is asking isn't the about exact places Moiraine travels, it's clear what The Amyrlin really wants to know. She's questioning Moiraine for what she was up to during those 20 years of travel. Moiraine dodges again. And just look at Siuan face at this moment.

Oh, how she knows. First round for Moiraine. It's not surprising, we're used to it, that's what we as viewers expect to happen, Moiraine telling whatever she wants and getting away with that. Again.

Not this time however because Siuan is not done.

What is the purpose of your travels?

Moiraine can't lie and there's no easy way of dodging. So she tells the truth but does not answer, not really. Here it would normally end but Siuan is pushing her. And when Moiraine is on her knees - literally and figuratively speaking, Siuan asks her again. And we can clearly see how Moiraine tries again, this time longer, to find a better answer. But she fails. And she is being punished for it. For the first time in the show, we can see she’s cornered and then defeated in the game. Siuan doesn’t buy her half-truths, her attempts at dodging. 

They both know what they are doing but this whole scene builds Siuan’s character so well. We’re introduced to her in a way that shows how really powerful and smart she is, first time we see her, she’s defeating Moiraine in a game Moiraine won easily every single time before. And it is a great introduction that sets us as viewers in a right spot where we instantly recognize her for who she is - truly regal and strong both as in character and as in the title she wields.

[gold-pavilion]

Shin soukoku and the philosophy of “meaning”

It’s a running theme that the team dubbed double black is always comprised of two very different but complementary members, from ability and skills to character and values. Shin soukoku, the new double black, isn’t the exception but actually the greatest exponent of that. 

Now, it’s also not unintentional that BSD’s characters and their viewpoints can sometimes represent different schools of existential thought, developing and clashing with others - it’s a theme that’s very central to BSD itself after all - and it’s precisely there, on that plane, where the opposition is built most strongly between Atsushi and Akutagawa.

I’ll explain each of their standpoints, and in a minute you’ll see exactly what I mean. 

Starting with Atsushi, his character arc sees him overcoming the idea he was raised under: that he needs to earn and justify his right to be alive, otherwise he’s a burden at best or pernicious at worst. And so, the need he displays to save others is both an act of empathy and a pathological need to be good for something, so that he can feel forgiven and justified. 

(Continuing under the cut due to length and plenty of imgs.)

This view has guided Atsushi from the start. It’s what pushed him to consider self-sacrifice as the only thing he could do during his ADA entrance test, what caused him to desperately want to save both the civilians during Kajii’s train hijack and Kyouka shortly after. It’s explained the most clearly in the following exchange with Akutagawa himself, during the Echo chapters:

But one thing is the ghost of the past behind Atsushi’s back, and another is his own thinking. Such ideas didn’t originate from him and they’re certainly not his own; in fact, Atsushi is fighting against them. 

Thanks to his own desire to live and the very healing effect of his time with the ADA, he’s quickly learned that no one can decide someone else’s worth or determine whether they have a right to live. That the worth in a person is inherent; a being doesn’t have to “be worthy”, it just has to be. It exists because it exists, not through virtue of being allowed by someone else. Existing, in itself, has worth, and anything more can be built up from there. That’s what he’s arrived at and what he wants to prove.

Akutagawa is aware of this viewpoint.

But Akutagawa refuses and opposes such a philosophy. He, on the other hand, has never seen or known worth in existence alone. Rather, his ideology is that a being doesn’t have worth, but must become worthy by virtue of being useful for something, being acknowledged for an achievement or use, and thus be given significance. To him, not everyone deserves their existence, not everyone gets that peace of mind. Not if they don’t win it first.

This is, of course, what his childhood in the slums and his education under Dazai taught him, what Dazai drilled into the deepest parts of him.

A being with no use is something worse than dead: it’s meaningless. It can be discarded, since it’s as good as nothing. So what he must do is earn his place and prove his significance. 

Even now, he must prove it.

In other words, we can summarize their standpoints this way: facing the question of “what makes it meaningful to be alive? What is meaning?”, Atsushi’s character as a whole represents the answer that “meaning is inherent to the self”, while Akutagawa’s says “meaning is determined externally to the self”.

When Atsushi and Akutagawa clash, it’s often a direct opposition between these two ideas. Akutagawa’s initial hate for Atsushi hinged on the frustration that someone like him, someone who didn’t prove to be strong enough and worthy enough, was being treated with humanity and given Dazai’s recognition. Likewise, Atsushi’s hate for Akutagawa was born from the latter’s disregard for life itself, for itself, which nullified his capacity for empathy.

Bearing this in mind, the following dialogues (taking place near the beginning, during Kyouka’s arc) become much clearer and more telling:

Akutagawa wanted her to have what he so desperately works for. Atsushi wanted her to be told what he so desperately needed too. Through their perspectives of Kyouka, they very much exposed their individual philosophies. And this first clash of values would shape their joint character arcs.

Of course, at the bottom of it all, what they both struggle with is the same: self-worth. And what they desire is also the same: to live meaningful lives. For Atsushi the answer is already at hand, what he must do is save lives and help people through the ADA, it’s what fulfills him and, little by little, eases the psychological ‘curse’ placed upon him by his deceased mentor. For Akutagawa, the answer is obtaining Dazai’s acknowledgement, being given worth by the only person he truly thinks can confer it to him, in order to feel that his life has been and is something of value. 

Though their search is similar, their answers are opposite and that’s what makes them two sides of the same coin, in a more profound way than anything else could. That’s what they are, as the current double black.

Or is it? Is that all?

After all, they didn’t simply stay as opposites and leave it at that, fighting each other without extending a single bridge between them. Akutagawa has shown time and time again that he understands Atsushi’s viewpoint, that he sees him. Atsushi sees him as well, and because of that, he’s set that unexpected bridge in order for Akutagawa to truly come closer and see things from his side of the divide. The constant friction of the two opposing forces erodes and begins to change them both.

Akutagawa, most of all, is still on a journey, tried and tested against Atsushi’s mostly defined arc. Through the rule of no killing, he’s gaining a new perspective on the value of life in general, and may yet see his own under a new light. Even now, he’s reconsidering what he’s proving and why.

In this setup of opposing philosophies something may yet change. This instance of soukoku, which has been built in a similar manner to the previous ones (that I believe have also had streaks of philosophical opposition written into them, but that’s thought and talk for another time) might result in something a tad different and be, in a way, more successful than their predecessors. 

But that’s the story Asagiri-sensei is still in process of telling us, so we’ll see what comes as we continue to read it.

For now, thanks for reading this! 

Manga credit: easygoingscans’s translation of BSD’s first arcs, dazaiscans’s translation of Portrait of a Father and the Echo chapters, and my translation for the recent Decay arc chapters.