#has this discussion come and gone
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“The King was Dalinar’s Tien” in WoR is truly such a ???? line/ moment . That realization is given so much gravitas but it’s like actually what are you on about that makes no sense
#I feel like it’d be fine if Kaladin came to a conclusion of like “elhokar doesn’t need to die but he does need to be dethroned.”#that makes sense based on his upbringing and aversion to unnecessary killing#but The KING is DALINARS TIEN#“A door is a type of mug because they both have handles and paint” like no they just have exactly two things in common#has this discussion come and gone#Im always worried I’m rehashing some discourse that was 5 years old#but then Im like#it’s my blog#stormlight archive#words of radiance
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my bby has done nothing wrong ever in his 1000 years of life THIS IS SLANDER !!!😩😬
#in the midst of my celebrations Dazai WOULD try to humble me with these horrific theories🧍🏻♀️🫠#Fedya is great with kids…😬#(we adopted Karma together he’s FINE)#listen this randomly entered my mind while discussing the ch with friends & it has haunted me since#*grabs Fyodor & runs*#anyways I genuinely don’t believe this is where the flashback is headed but I still had to put my fears somewhere#(tbh I kind of assumed Bram’s family was already gone by the time he was a vampire😪)#anyways WAY more 113 art to come but FOR NOW#I was so much faster putting my 113 Fyodor cosplay together than I am getting more 113 art pieces out YEESH#bsd 113#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#fyodor fanart#fyodor dostoevsky#bsd fyodor#bungou stray dogs fyodor#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd fanart#bungou stray dogs fanart#bungo stray dogs fanart#artists on tumblr#anime#bsd manga#fyodor dostoevsky fanart#fyodor dostoyevsky fanart#bsd chapter 113#dazai#bsd bram#meme redraw#bsd memes
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are people aware of the fact that Mizu is not canonically in any way shape or form.............. queer....bi.....
(quick note here because reading comprehension stays dead and people may not read the tag novel: I want bi Mizu! I hc her as sapphic! I love sapphic Mizu)
#Yall are not ready for this take but.......boy.......#can we like praise the show for all its wonderfulness without Proclaiming it a REVOLUTION for the LGBT com. before it actually earns it#It's a thought.......#No one wants bi Mizu more than me trust me but it's just not canon yet. Gender exploration has not gone There#we can meta and we can HC and we can analyse. But it's SUBTEXT#But actually full on praising it for .... something that it's just not there yet is wild to me#A sapphic AF woman#I GET IT. All I write is gay Mizu &Mizu/ladies but it's not canon yet! And if we get it great if we don't oh well!#I'm just saying that...you can't praise a show for what Might happen. That's all 🧘🏻♀️💙#Blue eye samurai is wonderful for so MANY other reasons#Stop giving it credit it has not earned#this is totally open to discussion and non confrontational btw❣️#if anything the only thing you can kinda give them rep for is Taigen getting a hard on for someone he thinks is a man and STILL...#blue eye samurai#bes mizu#and before anyone comes at me swinging I don't ship ta*zu. that's not at all my point.
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wouldn't it be nice to obsess over that aromantic man as his own character rather than a part of a ship once in a while? :)
#i don't mind it.. i like new art.. good art.. yay... but#i yearn for discussing about him drowning in a pool of water and the orcas coming to save him like how he has saved them#him after they had won the case and everything went back to normal. except both his (probably close) friends are no longer there#sometimes i also think he is aplatonic. and then people who are often in his life are just. gone#and still. his life goes on and he does the same work he's always done as before#that feeling athena mistaken as him having romantic feelings. it's a strong feeling. i don't know to describe it as platonic love either#because it's really just the feeling of having someone you've come to care about deeply.#i lost track of what i actually wanted to say ngl. this is just rambling#sugomori gaku#it doesn't even have to be sad lol. what about him with the penguins. i saw a lot of art of him with penguin themes back then#i need to start drawing him again. would be nice to finally get his features right i think#actually idk what im saying goodbye
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im very normal about fuuta in general but i dont think im ever going to emotionally recover from his fire motif and what it represents for his character and how he reflects the greater theme of justice so that means i must rant about it
(more under the cut because this got longer than i expected whoopsies)
so anyway fire is pretty obviously supposed to be symbolic of his passion for justice right? that fire is all over the place in bring it on. he's wielding it to take down enemies, his signature weapon is a flaming sword. it's what he uses to lead the campaign against the people he's after, the people he's deemed in the wrong.
it's a fucking flaming sword, it's badass as hell!!!! it's what a hero of justice, a knight, would use!!!! it's cool as shit, it's his symbol of justice.
that's how he sees his justice in trial 1.
he's righteous, he wants so badly to believe he was a hero, he was doing it all for a good cause, for justice. his passion for justice was a tool he used to meet those ends, to be a hero, to wave it valiantly in the face of enemies.
the fire, however, is conspicuously absent once he's noticed the blood on his hands
interestingly, despite backdraft as a song title being much more related to his fire motif than bring it on, fire is actually surprisingly absent from the mv's visuals. fire, as in actual orange burning fire, doesn't show up much at all in backdraft except for when both fuuta and his victim begin turning to ashes, and a short bit near the end right after the last chorus when the spraycan explodes in fuuta's face. you know what the mv does show a lot of though?
smoke. and ash. the byproducts of a fire, the byproducts of fuuta's passion for justice.
bringing it back to firefighting for a moment: as many people have already pointed out, backdraft as a firefighting term refers to when a fire that has consumed all available oxygen suddenly explodes when more oxygen is made available, such as when a window or door breaks. the thing about fire hazards, though, is if the fire and the heat don't do someone in, usually it's the smoke. the smoke inhalation causes breathing difficulties and suffocation, making it even more difficult for a person to escape the fire.
in backdraft, instead of fire itself, what we're shown is these byproducts of a fire. the smoke is damaging to human health, and the ash shows that the fire has burned things up and caused destruction, in this case killing someone. all we're shown is the negative results of a fire, in sharp contrast to its badass, positive portrayal in bring it on.
hell, even fuuta himself starts turning to ashes and the spraycan explodes in his face, showing how even he is experiencing the negative results of a fire that has gotten out of his control, how even he has gotten burned by his passion for justice. or, is it es' desire for justice?
translation of fuuta's t2 vd by onigiriico
Me, too! I was like that, too! I also didn't think it'd turn out that way!
You and I are exactly the same breed! The only difference between us is the clothes we're wearing.
fuuta's justice and es' justice, it's all the same in his head now, he directly tells es that they're the same, that we're the same. it's all the same hunger for justice that ends up causing harm even if that wasn't the intention.
you know that saying that fire is a good servant but a bad master? i think that's pretty applicable to fuuta's situation. his passion for the pursuit of justice was great when it was still a tool, a sword he could wield, after all he did manage to shed light on some people's wrongs and bring them to justice. but once it exploded, when it became a backdraft that even he could no longer control, it did more damage than he intended.
it burned even him, it killed a middle schooler. and he recognizes that in backdraft. he only shows us the ways fire that becomes a hazard can go wrong.
translation of fuuta's t2 vd by onigiriico
What did I do? All I did was say that what's wrong is wrong! I was just going off at a bad person online!
I didn't think they would die! I just thought that wrong things are wrong, and that a crime is a crime! You get that, don't you? See? Aren't we the same?
it's just. fire is such a good metaphor for the message of fuuta's character and his arc. it's an amazing illustration of how dangerous it is when you feed a desire for justice too much, when you forget to put a boundary on how you handle that fire. eventually the fire spreads just like how passion for justice becomes zealotry, until more and more things fall under what you consider to be 'punishable' by your standards and goes out of control to hurt people that probably didn't deserve it. it's a warning to set proper boundaries on our own definition and desire for justice and what's 'right' so the good intentions doesn't spiral into harm. it's a reflection of our attitudes towards milgram as the audience responsible for their justice and forgiveness. it's amazing i love it i love fuuta's fire symbolism i love fuuta's character arc and i love milgram's writing so so so much
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#im sure someone has already gone through every point in this post before but i was having fuuta thoughts and they needed to go somewhere#this might be super disorganized this is essentially the first draft and i kinda just word vomited lol#anyways i love milgram i love picking it apart for its themes#tangentially i might do another whole thing comparing fuuta to kotoko but hm not sure if i can add much to that discussion#maybe after deep cover comes out#i actually really like kotoko for similar reasons to fuuta actually she's an interesting case study of a desire for justice that corrupts#anyways sorry this wasnt that deep an analysis or anything i mean i didnt even pull up images it's a glorified rant more than anything lol#hm might edit this post to add images tomorrow ill see if i remember
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it's been about three months since mysterious lotus casebook finished airing, and in reflecting on my initial reaction to the ending versus now, what's changed most for me during that time is that i'm far less concerned with whether the person we knew as li lianhua is physically alive or dead. he could be in either state. i don't know which, and i don't find it as interesting to choose one over revelling in ambiguity. what's more important to my personal reading of canon now is that li lianhua, as a persona and a mask, no longer exists.
like li xiangyi, although the man might still carry breath, li lianhua is dead in the eyes of the narrative. that phase of life— the life assigned to someone who tried not to be or want more than a ghost— is over. if you choose to believe that the person standing on the beach in the epilogue truly exists in the flesh, there to reunite with fang duobing and di feisheng? in my opinion, that's not li lianhua. he's someone new with a different name, freed of past chains. the man who wears his face may yet live, but if he cannot completely shake loose the expectations people placed on the past versions of him, then no one including himself can move on.
li lianhua must be dead by the end of the story.
#the other deeply important thing to me is that regardless of if he's alive or dead. li lianhua is not coming back#as in the physical sense. he walked away from everyone#he's Gone. and everyone has to live with it#the person in the epilogue is an illusion or a ghost or an afterimage#but i realize that's far more subjective of a reading and less of you are happily making this tragedy worse for yourself like i am#so i won't discuss that here#mysterious lotus casebook#li xiangyi#ashton originals
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thinking about how expectant of her own death scully always was, but how completely struck by shock she was in mulder’s, despite how clear it had always been that he would one day die for the cause. tragedy in the x-files as something you should have been prepared for, but never could be, in scully standing at a funeral, as her mother had stood at her father’s, and barely being able to speak. she should be able to do this? bred to be a war widow, attached to an endless line. but no matter how many times she saw him put that gun to himself, or run off in front of another, she really did believe that he would always come back. she really did believe that there would never be a day where he didn’t just appear in the doorway again.
#‘oh my god you’re so naive / you’ll leave this world in a drunken heap / who’ll make the arrangements baby / them or me?’#oh father john misty we’re really in it now#that song (‘please don’t die’) has been discussed RE: msr before but it’s that ‘who’ll make the arrangements?’ line that sticks with me#in the song it’s from his wife’s point of view in his addiction/suicidality. how he’s always running off with ‘reptilian strangers.’#but it always makes me think of scully standing at that funeral and saying….he was the last one.#his sister is GONE. his mother is gone. his father is gone.#and that realization of…she had to plan that funeral. the flowers and the people and the priest and the grave.#she’s pregnant and she’s alone and he ran off after someone else or some answers as he always does. but who will make the arrangements?#in that moment at the funeral when skinner says….but he’s NOT the last one…..#she has to keep going because he’s left her this baby she’s carrying. and she is so ill-equipped and she carries so much perceived shame.#her mother did it. her mother WOULDVE done it- had ahab not come home one day. the women on the base she grew up on did it.#and anyone in the world could’ve told you that she would have to do it one day- no matter how many years she spends chasing after him#as he jumps onto moving trains or pulls the trigger on his own head or runs to the arctic#but she never actually thought she would. and now she’s realizing that she can’t.#and she’s planning a funeral and decorating a nursery at the same time and she is ‘just not capable’#txf.txt
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#i dont think i’ve talked my nonverbal!Diluc hc on here yet#but i keep seeing posts abt disability/chronjcally ill/neurodivergent hcs for genshin characters so here’s one from me#idk i feel like after That Night™️ and being on the run from the Fatui/working with a secret organization#diluc not just learns the ‘value’ of keeping secrets and staying quiet but also internalizes his guilt and trauma of saying smth that could#hurt people#it started with him telling Kaeya that he’s not a Ragnvindr anymore and then is exacerbated by his 3-4 Year Fatui Murder Rampage thru Teyvat#and with all ghat trauma and self-deprecation and paranoia he just. stops talking.#he picks up sign language in Fontaine and still writes but at some point he just stops talking and never speaks again#when he comes back to Mondstadt it was hard to adjust to for both him and the people around him#Kaeya initially assumes that Diluc just refuses to talk to him until he later hears gossip abt how no one has ever heard him speak since he#came back. he goes to Adelinde and/or Elzer abt it and they tell him that they neve even hear Diluc so much as hum or grunt#afterwards everyone changes up real fast— Kaeya and Venti drinking at the bar and seemingly just talking at Diluc but they’re always#observing his reactions and body language even when they’re drunk#Jean tries her best to be patient but she has a hard time reading him bc he’s changed so much in the time he’s been gone#Adelinde & Elzer and the winery staff are the most communicative he’s with— Diluc is far more likely to write with them to communicate#at some point Diluc has a business meeting with some rich dude from Fontaine or smth#Kaeya walks in bc he has an actual important mission thinf to discuss and he sees Diluc and this Fontaine dude and the dude’s wife#moving their hands so fast and with all kinds of gestured and stuff#and it’s the first time Kaeya sees Diluc look so EXPRESSIVE— he’s frowning and raising his eyebrows and mouthing words and all this#and Kaeya just goes ‘what’#turns out the Fontainian dude is deaf and both him and his hearing wife know sign; she helps interpret this to kaeya for the dude and Diluc#and Kaeya is like ‘oh okay’ and goes to the kitchen like ‘i’ll just wait here till yall are finished’#and he sees Adelinde and Elzer there with stoic faces and they just. stand there in quiet for so long.#Kaeya finally says ‘…..so. sign language huh’ and Adelinde and Elzer have the most pained looks on their faces#later that week Diluc finds like everyone around suddenly doing basic signs with him#he later learns that the winery has ordered a shitton of signing books from Fontaine and are trying to learn#+ Kaeya and Jean too with help from Lisa bc like dont you know learning several languages is a requirement for graduation from the Akademiya#soon the use of sign starts spreading in Mondstadt— there might be some small communities where they have their own native sign but it’s not#as standardized nor widely known as it is in Fontaine#this is getting really long so I’ll stop here but yeah. nonverbal Diluc who signs fjskdjs
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Rebekah's social battery: 0%
#random personal stuff#working extra long today to make up for having to take this morning off#and then I'm going to a friend's presentation immediately afterward#but I think I'll sneak out after she talks so I don't have to participate in the discussion#the ability to say intelligent things is long gone#there's so much to do tonight and I think I'll have to cancel the usual social obligations#because I'd like to actually eat and take a shower and catch my breath#advice: please please please notify people well in advance before you come to visit and especially if you plan to stay the night#and be very specific about which day you're coming#was nice to see family but having to host people immediately after returning from a trip with no time to prepare has just about killed me#and now I have another trip including a presentation to prepare for#plus inexplicable nasal congestion for additional fun#it's fine I will survive this but right now it's a bit overwhelming
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so I saw people on reddit talking about the woozi situation (and this was specifically about woozi since it was in the seventeen sub) and I'm just????? people are calling it a non-issue because censorship, you don't know how much he's watched etc. and I understand not labelling him as a p*dophile but you can't just call it a non-issue because of all those ^ things because maybe he didn't watch the censored version?? Maybe he finished it and enjoyed it?? AND a big 'get a fucking life' to those people who think this is just some personal unwarranted hate towards woozi. "Ur not a real carat the boys told us to trust them!!!!!" NO
#tw pedophila mention#i don't usually make “original” posts about issues just bc idk if i have all the info#but for this one it seems like everyone's in agreement about the details#there's just different interpretations of what it means#also idk if there's been anything new so sorry if there has#i haven't gone back to the discussion thread on reddit since that bc i got angry#and my twitter stuff is limited to what comes up when i search 'seventeen'#but anyway my point is it's totally valid for people to be wary of woozi#ur the weird ones for saying people should be totally fine with it#sry not sure how to tag this properly pls let let me know!!
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Feeling homicidal at work today ♡
#there's been major issues with wordpress for Weeks now and my beloved colleague told IT about it and added me#to the 'task' explicitly writing 'please talk to [my name] if you have any further questions or want to discuss things as i am on vacation'#today i come back to this task reading a lovely comment by that dude who's responsible for solving the problem going#'i think it's best if we make an appointment to discuss this when you're back :)' bitch ill kill you#my boy doesn't even Use wordpress it's not even his fucking problem. he just was nice enough to summarize my complaints#so i added a comment too because i honestly can't work like this and want this to be Fixed asap#and if he wants to talk to [beloved colleague] first it's gonna take another 2 fucking weeks until anyone even considers the problem again#and i have no patience for this left at this point. so of course that bitch calls me when i was marked as 'absent' on teams#(did he fucking do that on purpose?? so he wouldn't actually have to talk to me? also. just Text me you fucking bitch)#and when i come back to it HE was absent so i couldn't call him back and also i won't wait for him to come back online so i can talk to him#because my work hours are Over for this week and he could very well just send me a message or add another comment if he has anything to say#but alas he didn't#i honestly am usually quite patient and understanding when it comes to fixing issues but this has been going on forever#and i wouldn't even say anything if it hadn't been for that stupid ass comment on how he wants to talk to [colleague] first. bitch!#(i just mentioned what the main issue was in my own comment btw. i didn't say anything about hurrying or any of the million#passive aggressive things i WANTED to say. very proud of myself for that ♡#had i been with that dude in person i would have killed him on sight)#god things are gonna be so insufferable when my beloved colleague is gone forever ㅠㅠ#he's the only good thing about this fucking company and I'm sure everything's gonna go down in flames#once he's gone#void screams#work stuff
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fuck akuroku as a ship btw not only because its pedophilic because thats obviously a huge issue. but also i think we should be able to have platonic relationships with the same amount of devotion as any romance. not everyone who loves each other is in love DEREK.
#not trying to downplay the issues with it being pedophilic because thats actually a huge issue#context for my non kh moots#as of kh3 lea/axel is roughly late 20s#maybe early 30s depending on how old he was in bbs#and roxas is (physically) 14-16 (hes only been alive for a bit over a year#but also what i want to say#axel and roxas have an amazingly written relationship#theyre two of the strongest characters in the series in terms of writing honestly#their dynamic in canon is two best friends who at the end of the day just want to stay together#but due to circumstances and also a bit of axel keeping secrets shit falls apart#when you get to kh2 roxas is gone and axel will do literally ANYTHINNG to bring him back#he doesnt care about his own life or soras or anyone else who stands in his way because he is going to get his friend back#axels role as an antagonist later in kh2 comes from his devotion#he wants roxas back. he says himself he wanted to see roxas again because he made him feel as though he had a heart#in the end he gives up and dies to protect sora#and i think a lot of people take 'he made me feel like i had a heart' out of context to say its romantic#at face value its easy to interpret it that way but in context he goes on to say 'its funny... you make me feel the same' to sora#the way i interpreted it at least wasnt that he was in love but that both roxas and sora's love for others radiated onto him#if we look at days (i know. sacrelige for a kh2 discussion. fuck you) axel is constantly questioning why roxas acts like he has a heart#he straight up asks him why he does that and roxas is confused. thats just how he is#<- context for that conversation is that roxas is upset on xions behalf because saïx called her a mistake#what he means by 'having a heart' is feeling things and caring about things and there is no inherent romantic connotation#he means in the most literal sense that roxas made him care about things. we dont know what exactly that was referencing in kh2#but we can take a pretty good fucking guess#but lets look at com for a second because theres a scene talking about the other half of that line#axel goes behind everyones back to do something to help sora and naminé and after he does he is SHOCKED to realize hes enjoying it#and then he says 'you really ARE something!' about sora#at least as of kh2 what they meant was feeling emotions. roxas made axel feel as though he had emotions. he made him feel like he could feel#anyways. what im saying is axels line could be taken as something romantic but i think its more interesting than that#i dont have enough tags left to continue word vomiting sorry </3
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oh boy the depression hole is deep and it is muddy
hahaha I fell into the classic trap! overidentify with your job and considering leaving it will trigger an existential crisis!!!!
#red said#i think it's really fucking happening#i got lunch with my work bff yesterday. she's seriously looking for her next thing.#2 other people in our 9 man team have told me in confidence they're looking elsewhere as well#the work bff is a team manager and she's like yeah I'm helping everyone buff up their CVs and think about what they want#and i. do not think my boss is coming back.#she's extended her mat leave by 2 months already. i think she stepped away and realised. rightly. there's more to life than this shit.#it's not that the organisation is downsizing or any of us are in danger of redundancy#but the vibe has changed big time. it's so much more corporate and less interested in lived experience.#i think the proportion of people in senior management who have even second hand experience with homelessness is shrinking#like the last time our CEO did frontline work was like 1990. and they're expanding the management team constantly#but they're all outside hires and not people who've done frontline or community work. they're the career charity worker types.#the only things keeping me are. i want to at least get to that initial union open meeting and get the ball rolling enough#that it might have a cat's chance in hell of happening without me#and i want to get gears turning in the EDI group to get a commitment a) to acknowledge that we have a whiteness problem#and b) i want to use the funding for LGBTQ inclusion work to kickstart a project where we convene a cross-sector working group#maybe quarterly. where people working in homelessness and social support can discuss best practise for trans inclusivity#in one of the sectors where trans people are most disadvantaged in seeking support#but like if i can get movement on those things I'm fucking gone. cause the bits of my job that are my actual job?#i am getting nothing out of it now
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Had my usual session yesterday and my therapist was like "would you be interested in having our sessions weekly instead of our current setup?" 😳
#ruh roh#so yeah my progress has been very slow going#I mentioned to my therapist that in the past therapy helped me a lot but I was having weekly sessions then#so she was like huh interesting#however what she doesn't take into account is that I was there for like 2 years so my progress was more obvious because of that#I'd also not yet gone thru The Horrors#but things are different now#back then I'd felt weekly sessions got redundant because I didn't have as much to talk about#but thats why I chose to have sessions every other week with this shrink#because I thought I'd not have as much to discuss weekly as I do biweekly#but now I feel like I dont get enough time to talk about everything I need to#although I didn't mention that to my therapist#but she seems to have picked up on it#so we agreed to have weekly sessions#she said she needs to look at her schedule to see when we can start with that and she's trying to keep our usual day and time#I only care about the day. idc about when I come in.#but yeah so thats how my therapy is going so far#sam's rants about life
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I hope my brother can arrange something so he can bear me part of the journey home after this week is all over and done because I am starting to suspect I will not be a safe driver and it could pose an unacceptably high risk that I'll semi-accidentally drive off the road.
#when will this pain end#i hope to discuss it and hopefully minimise the fallout and at least we won't see each other for a week or two. hopefully by then he might#at least be not avoiding me :/#ridiculous and foolish to care so much about any single thing or any single person#i was already nearing the end of my tether socially for this week in any case#and is that a surprise? ive barely eaten and barely slept during this time#i want to talk to his mother who suffered almost identically the same thing at the same age but i dont know if i can bear it or not#i just want to clear this up with him somehow#and now - finally - ten hours after i was first told this - the tears are coming but they cannot#if they do i dont think they will stop#i just need to get through today and then i can break down#maybe i wont help with packing up tomorrow i might not be up for it i dont know#this week has been such a mix of so so good and so terrible#the talks have been really good and all#and i do not regret spending time with him#altho one problem was one time he apparently would have liked me to go away and didn't say but oh! i would have preferred if he had#i feel terrible for not realising that i should've gone away at that point bc it should have been obvious#except it's not to an idiot like me :/
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update chicago fire family, i've jumped ahead to episode 5x08, and i wasn't feeling well the past couple of days, so i didn't have it in me to actively live blog the experience whoops 😅
#*carly catalogs#i gotta walk my dogs to get them off my fucking back so i can continue my binge watch#and ik A LOT has gone down in just 7 episodes but feel free to discuss anything at at with me while i'm out walking#from any of the romances (dawsey/stellaride/antonio x sylvie)#to boden's storyline with his stepson#or the hysterical duo between sylvie and mouch writing a smut book about firefighters#or dawson hitting that pedestrian by accident#or the whole gabby/casey/louie family dynamic#LITERALLY HIT ME WITH ANYTHING YOU GOT#i won't be able to respond right away but i'll read everything that comes in while i'm out on my walk :)#JUST TRY NOT TO SPILL ANYTHING PAST EPISODE 5X07 PLEASE#chicago fire
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