#harry: oh you have a wand? i have a knife

[yuri-sorted-into-ravenpuff]

Warning: Talks of using sharp objects like blade/knives.

Harry who, even after gaining a wand, still carries around a small blade or knife on his person. Despite being in Hogwarts for months now, he still feels uncomfortable, not to mention unsafe. Yes, Hermoine and Ron makes him feel safe at times, even Professor McGonagall became an adult figure that he believes will risk everything to protect him, but still there's something wrong in the first place that he can even call home.

And he doesn't like it. He wants to remove whatever it is that is making him feel skittish.

Then the troll happens. He's thankful for his blade. He instructed Ron to use the wingardium leviosa on him and to drop him above the troll's head. He trusts Ron to do it, after all, Hermoine's there to coach him as well.

Ron succeeded though he is struggling, he brought out his blade, and told the redhead to let him go. He angled the blade to go straight into the troll's head, making sure that the beast would instantly be killed. Or at least incapacitated.

When the blade was buried on the troll's head, it roared in pain. Hermoine instantly used wingardium leviosa on the sharp pieces that the destroyed sink left around her, Ron took one rather large piece and ran to stab the beast as hard as he can on its leg.

When the teachers came running towards their direction, all of them are covered in troll blood. The others are horrified, though he could see a rather proud glint on their Head of the House's eyes.

[bridenore]

HD Being on the run fic recs

Here are a few Harry/Draco recs where Harry and Draco are on the run. Listed in alphabetical order, as always.

9 ½ Days by @magpiefngrl [69k]

After the events at the Manor, Harry and Draco find themselves stranded in the countryside with a broken wand and Death Eaters on their tail. This is the story of an uneasy truce, featuring faerie forests, seaside caves, Romani camps, kind old ladies, and a shared bed in an attic. Or how two boys fell in love in the midst of a bloody coup.

Crown Witness by @slytherco [70k]

After the war, wizarding society is oppressed by a new kind of plague—an organised crime group calling itself the Family. When Harry Potter goes to interrogate a potential witness, he doesn’t expect to end up on the run again, trying to keep Draco Malfoy alive, while a manhunt follows in their footsteps, adamant on eliminating the one witness that could ruin everything. In which Harry and Draco learn that the way to each other might just have to go through the dingiest hotels in Britain.

Eclipse by Mijan [287k]

"You're dead, Potter... I'm going to make you pay..." Draco swore his revenge on Harry for Lucius's imprisonment, and Harry all but laughed at him. But Draco is planning more than schoolyard pranks this time. The old rivalry turns deadly when Draco abducts Harry for Voldemort. It's the perfect plan, guaranteeing revenge, power, and prestige, all in one blow. But when Draco's world turns upside down, the fight to save himself and Harry begins, and the battle will take them both through hell and back. If they come back.

Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by @waspabi [93k]

'You're a wizard, Harry' is easier to hear from a half-giant when you're eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you're seventeen and late for work.

Oh, Sinnerman by @lou-isfake and @babooshkart [40k]

“I’m serious, Potter,” Malfoy said quietly. “That was some real bad luck you had, being there last night. They will come after you, and they will kill you—after torturing you for information on my whereabouts.” He pocketed Harry’s wand, but held on to his knife, twirling it between his fingers. Harry was distracted by its movement, the reflections of the bright, dawning sun on polished silver. “I’m not happy about it, either, but you’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future.”   He watched Malfoy’s face for a long time, in a staring contest he wasn’t sure he’d signed up for. Stuck with Malfoy, for the foreseeable future, on the run from a massive crime syndicate that had infiltrated the Ministry and was out for their blood. It was all very familiar, except for the Malfoy part.

REVOLVEVLOVER by @firethesound and @lol-zeitgeistic [88k]

The work Harry does is justifiable. It’s justice. He works for his country, and his country is a republic—the magical side, anyway. It’s not laudable work, it’s not work he’s proud of, but it’s necessary work. Harry has always taken the necessary jobs that no one else has the stomach for. It’s just that he’s never deciphered a kill sheet and seen Draco Malfoy’s name on it.

A Sword Laid Aside by @korlaena [128k]

When Draco’s cover is blown during a deep undercover operation and the Ministry is compromised, Ron takes Draco to the only safe place he can think of—Harry. Hiding out with Harry Potter, who has been missing from the Wizarding World for almost two decades after a shocking fall from grace, is nothing like Draco thought it would be.

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[kamaela]

WIP Snip

Thanks for the tag @its-the-allure, @phoenixortheflame, @tackytigerfic. Posting WIP snips make me nervous, because who the hell knows if this snip will make it in to the final iteration of the fic? Not me.

Harry raises his wand higher, his grip on his dagger tightening. 

A raised eyebrow. “I’m defenceless, Potter.”

“You expect me to believe that you don’t have any other weapons on you?”

Malfoy smirks. “Oh, you are so very clever.”

Harry scowls. “Is that really necessary?”

“Is what?” Another step. 

“That whole preening prat act you’ve got going on. I thought you might have grown past that.”

“I’ve done no such thing. Preening prat is my signature. I’ve curated it. No one does it as well as me.” Three small steps. 

“I agree with you there.” Harry says, dryly.

“Good.” Malfoy's lazy tone wraps around him. Squeezes and chokes. “Now are you really going to stand there with your wand and your little knife and that gun I know is strapped to your chest, while I’m surrendering myself?”

He’s so close now, Harry could stretch his arm just a bit further and the tip of his wand would meet Malfoy’s pointed chin.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he replies, keeping his wand arm outstretched. 

Malfoy tuts. “What, are you scared? Scared you can’t beat me in the barbaric hand to hand combat your muggles are so fond of?

“My muggles? Just because I grew up with muggles, doesn’t mean all muggles are ‘my muggles’.”

“You’re focusing on the wrong thing here Potter," he whines, "Come on, drop those weapons and fight me. I know you want to. I’ll even let you keep the knife.”

Harry lowers his wand, only a fraction, but Malfoy doesn’t miss it. A broad grin cracks across his pale, carved face. 

“Oh wonderful. This is going to be such fun.”

Harry rolls his eyes and throws both of their wands to the side of the room, where they land on the floor with a clatter, rolling out of sight. After a moment's hesitation, he discards the dagger too.

Malfoy's grin turns leering. He walks back and forth in front of Harry. “Want to take bets on who’ll break who’s nose first? Odds are in my favour I think, what with my previous experience.”

“Stop prancing around and shut up. Get ready.”

Tagging @kk1smet @fastbrother @tripably @faiell @edieblakewrites. And go!

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Hey!Can you please recommend me some fanfictions where harry sees draco's sectumsempra scars and feels absolutley guilty?

It need not be the main focus of the story,but one good scene about it would do!

Thanks.

Hello, hello! Your holds have arrived!

I loved your ask, and appreciated the openness of it, as I think not being limited to completely Sectumsempra focused fics allowed me to pick some extra great fics! In general, for this list, the shorter the fic, the more focused on the Sectumsempra scene/scars it is. Hope you enjoy!

Sectumsempra Scars

That Won't Erase It by @triggerlil (539 words, rated M)

Two men, a multitude of scars, one intimate moment.

I'm Sorry (it doesn't matter) by @carpemermaidtales (words 637, rated M)

Harry trailed off and pressed a kiss to Malfoy’s temple. “I’m still sorry, all the same. I wish that hadn’t happened. I wish you weren’t scarred from it. I guess now I know why you always insist on showering at home instead of in the training centre.”

“Well, that, and the facilities are appalling,” Malfoy muttered acidly.

Harry froze. He hadn’t realised Malfoy was awake.

Sectumsempra Scars by @drarrily-we-row-along (1,055 words, rated T)

Harry woke up first the following morning. He’d shifted, rolling toward Draco and opening his eyes; he wasn’t prepared for the sight that met him.

The normally flawless skin of Draco’s chest and abdomen was covered with raised scars, scars that intersected and crossed all the way up to his neck, one trailing as high as his cheek.

And for a minute, Harry tried to piece together what could have happened in his bed overnight.

life's like an hourglass glued to the table by @phoebe-delia (1,455 words, rated T)

I really don't know how it got like this.

That's not true, yes I do. Of course, I do. I was there, near the middle of it all; not the epicenter, not the periphery, but somewhere within the nebulous part in-between. I was close enough to be scathed, to be one of the supporting characters—though I'm fairly certain my support was the problem—but I was neither protagonist nor antagonist.

Phoenix in the Fire by @fw00shy (1,466 words, rated E)

Their first time was an accident. "Sex pollen," Draco claims, though everyone knows it was too much Ogden's after Puddlemere beat the Tornados 240-230.

"He's like a vengeful sex demon after he's lost," Harry confesses in the privacy of Hermione's kitchen. "A lustful, bitter jackhammer."

Sun Stroke by @peachpety (3,854 words, rated E)

Draco, Harry, and a handful of friends take a summer holiday at the beach. With the help of a sultry sea setting, encouraging friends, and a fisherman’s jumper, Harry and Draco's mutual attraction swells and things get hot on a salty summer night.

Erase the Shame by @fleetofshippyships-archive (6,763 words, rated E)

An Inter-House unity party is the last thing Draco wants to go to. It's not long into a game of Truth or Dare when he is reminded why.

But maybe his dare is worth it after all.

In The Company of Serpents by @corvuscrowned (24,954 words, rated E)

There’s something wrong with the serpents at the Greengrass Ophidiarium. Luckily, a certain Parselmouth just might be able to help.

Oh, Sinnerman by @lou-isfake (40,068 words, rated E)

“I’m serious, Potter,” Malfoy said quietly. “That was some real bad luck you had, being there last night. They will come after you, and they will kill you—after torturing you for information on my whereabouts.” He pocketed Harry’s wand, but held on to his knife, twirling it between his fingers. Harry was distracted by its movement, the reflections of the bright, dawning sun on polished silver. “I’m not happy about it, either, but you’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future.”

He watched Malfoy’s face for a long time, in a staring contest he wasn’t sure he’d signed up for. Stuck with Malfoy, for the foreseeable future, on the run from a massive crime syndicate that had infiltrated the Ministry and was out for their blood.

It was all very familiar, except for the Malfoy part.

Everything is Relative to You by @thehoneybeet (43,111 words, rated E)

Potter was supposed to have lived. Draco is certain of this. That Potter would no longer walk the earth was tantamount to the sun moving west to east across the sky. If only he could have stopped this from happening, if he’d have known…

It comes to him as ideas often did: too late.

Or, Harry dreams of his past lives, and Draco is in every one.

Not From Kindred Stock by @p1013 (45,779 words, rated E)

"Potter!" Draco calls again, but this time he pauses at the sound of his voice. "Potter?"

Something is very wrong.

Because now that he's gained a little of his equilibrium back and the room is no longer spinning, Draco has a sinking realisation that his voice doesn't sound rough or gravelly, but rather different. Different like his vision and the feel of his body around his bones and the bloody goddammned fucking clothes on his—shagging Salazar, God fuck, this isn't his body.

Among Ancient Pines by @graymatters (73,981 words, rated M)

Every day, Draco Malfoy tries. With every fiber of his being he tries. But he doesn’t much think about what he’s trying for.

In his final term of Healer training, Draco is unfortunate enough to find himself on a plane, the only means of traveling to a small, magical town in rural Alaska. Years of hard work have culminated in an opportunity to work with an experimental wandmaker to study the intersection of Healing and wand theory. When Draco arrives, he doesn't find the wandmaker, but does find his apprentice, who happens to have ridiculously messy hair, a lightning bolt scar, and a definitely-not-charming smile. But Draco isn’t going to let Harry Potter get in the way of him becoming a successful medical researcher, even if Potter is stubborn, hot-tempered, reckless, surprisingly gentle, has bizarre taste in music, and likes to leave his shirts unbuttoned. How hard could the next few months be?

A fic about challenging assumptions, discovering self-worth, the silver lining in failing to meet expectations, and finding friendship, love, and purpose in a small Alaskan town that’s steeped in magic.

in the dark by @toxik-angel (81,213 words, rated M)

Draco Malfoy may not have a Manor or money or status or a family or friends, but he has his looks, and goes into the glamorous modeling field.

And listen. Listen. No one can blame Harry for being obsessed with him all over again.

Bolts by @lqtraintracks (114,500 words, rated E)

Harry joins the Hogwarts staff as the new History of Magic Professor, while Draco has already been teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts for the past year. When Samantha, a first year, is being bullied one day and throws a made-up Truth curse at her harasser, only to accidentally hit Harry instead, Harry becomes cursed to tell the truth, and not only that, he has to regularly tell it to Draco Malfoy. Samantha is clearly gifted, maybe the most powerful witch or wizard to ever come through Hogwarts, and yet she has no idea how to take the curse off. As they work to remove it—and also teach Samantha how to control a power that's becoming more dangerous by the day—will Harry's truths become too much to handle? And will whatever’s going on with Draco just make everything exponentially worse?

❤️ As always, if you find a fic you enjoy, please remember to leave the author a kudos or a comment! ❤️

Lots of Love and Happy Reading!

[blahaj-enjoyer-1]

Incorrect New Faith Quotes

The Lamb: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Huey: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Harri: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Athena: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Blossom: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

~~~

The Lamb: *pitches an idea*

Blossom, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!

Huey, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

~~~

Huey: Baba... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

The Lamb: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

Huey:

Huey: I wrote sanitize, Baba.

~~~

Huey: Don’t trust everything you see on the internet.

The Lamb: Pfft. What possibly nonsense could come from the internet? Oh. Did you know that the Earth is actually flat?

Huey: *Takes away The Lamb’s phone* Yeah, that enough for you.

~~~

Athena: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

The Lamb:

The Lamb: I like you.

~~~

Harri: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You’re supposed to say I have ‘the right to remain silent’”! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!

Huey: *in the cell next to them* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.

~~~

Harri: Wow, this sucks. I’m gonna kill *remembers that suicide jokes only worsen your mental health and that the first step to healing is stopping* you.

~~~

Athena: I will be using so much pink you’ll be seeing green by the end from sensory deprivation.

~~~

(Perhaps more to come lol)

[deadduvznap]

Wait you do Harry Potter? Hell yea dawg I'll request that shit

Ron x dom Male Reader

Maybe reader is a slytherin, and doesn't take kindly to the golden trio or wtv

Anyways they're alone, room of requirements or sum. Que the non con, knife/blood play (would they use knives if they had magic?? Idk), and sadism

I have no clue how to send the hard ask thingies lmao my brain does not work very well

-💫 anon :D

(Pronouns are he/him btw for future reference)

as always FEMALE ALIGNING DNI !!!!!!

my requests are currently closed but ill write a lil blurb for you ml kisses kisses

okay okay yesss i think that you dont like the golden trio that much not because they are gryffindors but probably because smth happened w harry (hes a bitch i dont like him 🗣️ )and then romance between ron and hermione but you like ron but you cant say anything blah blah blah but one day ur in the room of requirement because probably you saw ron and hermione talking and it rlly hit you so you wander round the halls till you find the room of requirement and its a nice little cozy library for you with a little fireplace and couches and you just go and sit and sob for a little but then you hear the door creak open you stiffen up and stop making any noise and peek round the corner or ur big chair and you see ron peeking his head in lookin confused and he sees you and he walks in hes like oh hey ive never seen this room before this is pretty cool and ur just quiet on the chair staring into the fire and ron is walking over to the other couch and he plops down and he keeps and keeps talking and ur just getting more irritated w him and he cant tell and ur staring at him ur eyes are puffy and ur arms are crossed over urself and one hand on ur wand and ron finally looks at you and he tilts his head looking so cute btw and hes like hey whats wrong and you dont say anything then you hit him w the petrificus totalus curse (the full body binding curse) and his limbs snap together and he slumps over the chair like a 2x4 leaning on it. you walk up to him ur like you talk too much and okay lets say ur a half blood (somehow) so you stay strapped up w a pocket knife at all times (even tho you dont need it) and you can see the fear in his eyes as you get closer to him and you can hear the noises in his throat as hes panicking trying to get away from you and you use ur wand to rope his limbs up (the incarcerous spell) and shove a cloth in his mouth prob like idk smth random you have idk and then you undo the curse and he immedietly tries to run away and cry but since the rope has him binded so tightly his arms behind his back and his ankles together you push him to sit down and pull his robes off as he struggles and cries trying to get away from you so you take ur little (5 inch) pocket knife and hold it to his neck and tell him to stop fucking moving or ull cut off his fingers sorry guys im feeling very torturous rn and hes full got tears running down his face soaking into his cloth gag and you bend him over the side his hips pressed against the arm rest of the couch chair thing and press his face into the actual seat and bend his back as much as possible btw so it hurts more and hes thrashing around cus it hurts and he doesnt want this he doesnt like you he likes hermione he just needed to destress after getting into an argument w the other two and now? now hes getting raped by someone he (thinks he) hates and then he feels something pressing against his asshole and guess what its ur dick bout to absolutely rawdog him no lube no condom no prep just some spit maybe so it doesnt hurt you or dare i say his own blood as the lube? you put ur dick against his asshole and he starts squirming his eyes squinty and trying to get away from you and so you take ur knife and press against his lower back and tell him i told you not to move around like a little bitch and you stick the knife into his back and he screams cus it hurts so bad hes shoving his face into the couch harder and hes crying trying to get away but the more he wiggles the deeper the knife goes in and that hurts more and you pull the little knife out and gather some blood with ur hand and use that as lube before it clots up and when that happens you just get more blood if hes about to pass out you use a spell to heal that wound and stab him somewhere else and get more blood by the time you cum hes about to pass out from the pain and hes absolutely covered in blood its dripping down his back from his lower back to his head and all over his arms and the couch is soaked with blood and his hair is a red ginger mess with clots of blood hes almost breathing in blood through the cloth gag

(sorry was at block text limit) through his mouth if you pull out and cum on his back it literally just mixes with the blood he passes out and you leave him there bound in rope and gagged over the edge of the couch covered in clotted and dried blood

[smilingformoney]

Incorrect Quotes: Soul of Ice/Professor Snape II Edition

Severus: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?

Abbie: Well, how would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

Severus: What's going on?

Abbie: Teenage rebellion.

Severus: [sighs] What did I say to you this time?

Abbie: I'm going the fight the next person who insults my father. 

Severus: I hate myself. 

Abbie: Alright, square up.

Severus: [gently taps table]

Abbie: [taps back]

Lucius: What are they doing?

Persephone: Morse code.

Severus: [aggressively taps table]

Abbie: [slams hands down] YOU TAKE THAT BACK —

Sephy: You remind me of the ocean.

Severus: Because I’m deep and mysterious?

Sephy: No.

Sephy: Because you are full of salt and you scare people.

Severus: Now, Abbie, before I leave, you are not to partake in any of the following.

Severus: Drugs, kissing, tattoos, piercings, ritualistic animal sacrifices, cooking.

Severus:

Severus: Oh my god, I’m giving you ideas.

Sephy: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.

Severus: I wake up at 4.30am.

Sephy: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.

Lucius: What did you two do?

Abbie: …

Draco: …

Lucius: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know whether I need to lie to the Aurors again or not.

Sirius: Were you dropped on your head as a child?

Severus: Bold of you to assume I was even held.

Sirius: …

Severus: …

Sephy: Severus, we’ve talked about this.

Abbie: Any idiot would know that!

Harry: I knew that!

Abbie: See?

Sephy: Who traumatised you?

Severus: Do you want a list?

Sephy, sharpening a knife: Yes, actually.

Abbie: You’re not jealous, are you?

Draco: No!

Abbie: Good, because I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.

Severus: WHOEVER MADE THIS MESS IS GOING TO —

Abbie: It was me.

Severus: …be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Severus: I expected better from you.

Abbie: Well that was your fault lmao I got nothing to do with that

Severus: If a stranger came up to you and said “I’m your dad’s friend, he told me to pick you up,” what would you say?

Abbie: I’d say, “You’re lying, my dad doesn’t have any friends!”

Severus: Not where I was going, but okay.

Severus: You’re annoying.

Abbie: But you love me!

Severus: That doesn’t make you any less annoying.

Abbie, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Draco, in a low voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.

Severus: What the fuck are you two doing?

Abbie: Playing systematic oppression.

Abbie, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahaha.

Severus: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

Sephy: What if we went to dinner… not as friends?

Severus: As enemies?!

Sephy: 🤦🏼‍♀️

Sephy: Severus and I are dating.

James: [gasp]

Sirius: [gasp]

Remus: [gasp]

Severus: [gasp]

Sephy: Sev, come on.

Severus: Sorry, I’m still surprised.

Severus: [refusing to go to bed]

Sephy: Sev, you need to sleep. I don’t want to press charges.

Severus: ???

Sephy: For resisting a rest.

Sephy: Absolutely not.

Abbie: 🥺

Sephy: What did I say about those puppy dog eyes?

Abbie, sadly: It only works on Dad.

Sephy: You gotta walk in rooms like the gods sent you.

Severus: As a punishment.

Sephy: Can you turn on the lights?

Severus: I don’t need to. You’re the only light I need in my life.

Sephy: Darling, that's really sweet but I can’t see.

Severus: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Severus: I love you, Abbie.

Abbie: Love you too, Dad.

[silence]

Severus: We both love you as well, Sephy.

Sephy: Thanks, I was feeling left out.

Severus: That’s ridiculous! Lucius isn’t in love with me!

Sephy: Yes, he is.

Narcissa: Yes, he is.

Lucius: Yes, I am.

Abbie: I should have my father kill you for that.

Severus: [bursting in] Who am I killing?

Abbie: What? No, I was joking.

Severus: [drawing his wand] I wasn’t.

Severus: You know, you can’t just walk in here and expect everyone to like you, you’re not Abbie.

Lucius: Not everybody likes Abbie.

Severus: Who doesn’t?!

Lucius: What?

Severus: Names! I want names!

Sephy: Can you carry this for me?

Severus: I don’t know if I can, I can barely carry the weight of my own sins.

Sephy: Just carry the damn book, Sev.

Sephy: I know everything about you.

Severus: Oh yeah? What am I allergic to?

Sephy: Being appreciated and thanked for helping others.

Severus: What’s that?

Sephy: It’s my to-do list.

Severus: It just has my name on it.

Sephy: Yes.

Abbie: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Severus: You’re a hazard to society.

Sephy: And a coward. Do twenty.

Sephy: I think we can be evil, as a treat.

Severus: We?

Sephy: We :)

Draco: Do it or you’re straight.

Abbie: [loud gasp]

Abbie: Look under there.

Harry: Under where?

Abbie: You fool. You absolute moron. You are such a monumental idiot that you don't even realize what you just said. I am a verbal magician —

Abbie: If Mum and I were both drowning, who would you save?

Severus: I don't know, both of you?

Abbie: No, you could only save one of us.

Severus: Well, I would probably save your mother because she can't swim that well and I happen to know you're an excellent swimmer.

Abbie: Suppose I was holding an anchor. Who would you save then?

Severus: Well, why don't you let go of the anchor?

Abbie: It's a family heirloom.

Severus: I'm leaving.

Severus: [fully immersed in a new book, listening to classical music, very focused]

Abbie: [upside down on the couch] Do you think ducks have feelings?

Sephy, admiring a sleeping Severus: You’re so cute.

Severus, sleepily: I could beat you up.

Sephy, lovingly: I know.

Narcissa: You know, Severus gives Persephone flowers all the time, I wish you’d do that too.

Lucius: Okay.

[later]

Lucius: [gives Persephone flowers]

Persephone: ?? Thank? You??

Lucius: I am just as confused as you are.

Abbie: I don’t like men.

Draco: You’re a MISANDRIST?!

Severus: Has anyone seen my top?

Lucius: Persephone is in the other room.

Severus: Excuse me?! I’m a switch and you fucking know it!

Abbie: I’m begging you, just be cool.

Draco: Hey, who’s cooler than me?

Abbie: Everyone.

Abbie: If I'm paying rent, I expect some basic fucking privacy!

Severus: You don't pay rent.

Abbie: AND I WON'T!

Severus: You want me to have friends. The thing that killed Julius Caesar.

[thedragonholder]

Rogue shirai ryu moments (Headcanon inspired from @laismoura-art and @mikka-minns )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Fandoms they are in)

Bi-han and sareena: harry Potter.

Hatsune and Tomas: percy Jackson.

Hanzo and kuai: hunger games.

(At 3:00 am the aka waking up from inner demons time)

Bi-han: hatsune!

Hatsune: hm? *looks at bi-han*

Bi-han: arvada kadava bitch! *has his wand*

Hatsune: oh hell no *has her Stygian iron sword* behold the power of diet coke!!

Hanzo:*has his bow and arrows* fire is catching bitches!!

Kuai:*who just wants to sleep* what the fuck!?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hatsune: animality red panda.

Tomas: animality rock hopper penguin.

Bi-han:....

Bi-han: HOW!? AND TWO PENGUINS!? atleast hatsune isn't a winter animal-

Hatsune:

Bi-han:...

Bi-han: 'is this a sign of my villain ark?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Basically one thing this group whole heartedly agree on.

The rogue shirai ryu: the avatar the last Airbender movie didn't happen, they don't exist, whoever says the movies are good should be killed on sight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(@angelbroad Hatsune giving life advice to kakkō)

Hatsune: if anyone breaks your heart break their bones right after.

Hatsune: *drinking wine* kakkō what you got there?

Kakkō: a knife!

Tomas: NO!!

Hatsune: *holding kakkō* I have only had kakkō for a day and a half if anything were to happen to them I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Kakkō: o_o

Kakkō: so yea I got into detention at school for punching a kid.

Hatsune: were you the cutest one there?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bi-han and hatsune before they got Satoshi: *closed off, dead inside, not able to open up*

Bi-han and hatsune after they got Satoshi: *getting something to cherish, slowly opening up and feeling complete*

Sareena and Tomas:

(Betrayed because a kid did something they couldn't do)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[agentandreastark]

Hard day

Harry Potter X f!reader

Warnings: mention of blood.

Summary: You and Harry had a fight causing you to leave the house, which, of course, was a big mistake, especially on a lonely cold night.

"Oh come on don't yell, it wasn't my-" You couldn't stand there anymore, you left not even wanting to hear Harry out, because you knew damn well that if you stayed there one minute longer you'd end up saying something you'll regret. So the best option was to walk away. You put on your coat and grabbed the keys, and walked out of the door.

Deciding to take a stroll around the new neighbourhood was a good idea. Not only did you get to be familiar with the surroundings, but you also got to think about what exactly happened back at home. To think of it, it was your fault. You shouldn’t have yelled at Harry. After all, he didn't drop the bottle on purpose, but you let the lack of sleep get to you. You moved the hair out of your face as the cold breeze hit you. Oh, how you were glad you took the coat.

Before you knew it, there was a knife on your throat and a black gloved hand on your mouth. Your hand went to your pockets searching for your wand, but with tough luck, it wasn't there. You took a deep breath, trying to block out the little voice that panicked at the back of your mind.

"Give me all that you have on you." the man yelled, pressing the knife harder against your neck.

"Okay, okay! Just can loosen that knife a bit so I could remove my necklace?" You asked as you raised your hand in defence. The man loosened his grip. Big mistake. You took defence classes for a reason. Elbowing him, he fell back with a grunt. Although he had cut you, it wasn't deep enough to kill you.

Harry's POV

Harry was getting worried sick. Of course, his wife left him like that when they fought (even though it was rare it used to happen), but she'd always be back within 5 to 10 minutes. She still wasn't home. It's been 30 minutes since she's left. As bad as he wanted to check on you, he couldn't. Your 6 month old was crying, and he was trying to calm him down, but James wouldn't stop. Potter took him in his hands and walked around the hall singing lullabies to him in the hopes of calming him down. When he finally managed to calm him down a bit, Harry looked down at his son, still rocking him softly, and whispered, "Where's your mother Jamie? She'll come back, of course she will. But why is she so late? Is she not thinking of us? I miss your mum already, don't you?" He kissed his forehead. Even though James looked exactly like his father, he had his mother's beautiful eyes. He slowly placed James in his crib. Ready to search for you.

Your POV

You entered the house to a Harry who was putting his coat on. As he saw you, his eyes widened, and you stumbled into the kitchen in the hopes of washing the blood of your hands.

"L-love wha- what happened to you?" He watched in shock. You just kept silent as you hissed at the pain when the water ran down your hands. "Y/N!"

He rushed at your side and turned off the tap. He lifted you up and put you the counter, then took your hands in his examining it. Letting out a deep sigh, he scanned your face closely. He took in your busted lip and bleeding nose as Anger burned in his eyes.

"Who did this to you?"

"Some robber." You looked down and whispered.

"Didn't take your wand, did you?" He spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. You nodded in return, causing him to suck in a breath. "You should have given whatever you had with you love"

You shook your head and spoke back, finally looking him in the eye. "I only had my necklace. it's the last thing that I have of Grandmum. it's too precious, l-" you were interrupted by him raising his voice. "Bloody hell, Y/N! Nothing's more important than your life!"

That was it. That was the snapping point for you. Tears streamed down your face as you let out a loud sob. You had such a hard day. Of course, Harry had no idea, and it wasn't his fault either. You weren't the one to normally cry, even if you had the toughest day. But today just broke your bottle, letting all the tears out.

Harry's eyes softened at the sight of you crying he hugged you, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder.

After you calmed down, he kissed your head, urging you to remain in the same position as he cleaned your wounds.

After he was done with your wounds, he took you to the bed and cuddled you. You looked at him, pressing your lips to his forehead and apologising for the fight, which in all honesty he forgot about, with that your eyes closed and you slipped into a deep slumber.

[shithead-123]

Kotlc collecting head cannons Pt. 3

And finally, last but not least,

Fitz: You thought I forgot abt him. You thought I was a Fitz hater and didn't include him. WRONG. I saved him for last bc he is the ULTIMATE collector. buckle up bc this is gonna be long. He has everything. Gnome collections, rock collections, medicine/herbal collections, knife collections, plants collections, stick collections(him and Biana fight over sticks it's so funny), sticker collections, book collections, jewelry collections (this includes traditional Indian jewelry bc The Vacker's brown idc), clothing collections, shell collections, collections of things that remind him of ppl, ribbons, beads, wires, Doorknobs, carpets, chairs???, star charts, bottle caps, socks, vinyl records, lightbulbs, glitter, stationary, random human junk, Dirt even. Rocks again, literally thousands of rocks. Fitz = rock.  He's such a hoarder. Bro even collects cats. You cannot convince me he has an army of pigeons that he has from his time in the human world. Speaking of human cities. he has a trinket from every area he visited, canonically. He has those ugly tourist baseball caps. The "I love New York" t-shirts. used coffee cups from like Starbucks. flattened soda cans. He looks at those soda cans in wonder. It'll forever be a mystery of what these things are. He'll never put two and two together that unflattened soda cans, and flattened soda cans are the same thing. He's mystified. But because he collects so much random shit, he has a lot of cool things too. Like dinosaur fossils(he's a dinosaur boy) that are really rare. Ancient pots and scrolls and other historical things. And he knows the history behind everything bc he's a nerd. Dude could become a billionaire just from the things he owns. He has three Toyotas(that he hot wired???? somehow???). A private jet. A yacht. And iPhone 13. a laptop that he doesn't know how to use. A lottttt of human movies/TV shows which he doesn't know he has. But he does. POKEMON CARDS. He plays the Pokemon games on Nintendo. He and Dex do pokemon battles. Fitz always loses. YU-GI-OH CARDS. Omg bro would be the only one who knows how to Play Yu-Gi-Oh. he's a master at it Dex loses to him in Yu-Gi-Oh sadly. Board games, card games. Comic books. He likes DC more than marvel bc I like DC more than marvel. Idk who his favorite  superhero would be. I could do a post on everyone's favorite. baseball cards. Press on nails. CDs. Action figures. fake lashes. candy. Harry Potter wizard wands (he thought they were sticks). Antique Chess boards. Sooooo many cooking supplies. None of the Vackers can cook because they're clowns, so when Della see's her son doing some stress baking, she encourages him to expand into cooking and now he cooks dinner for the entire gang sometimes. He has all the versions of the air-fryers. he uses none of them. Knives that are sharper than Ro's daggers somehow. He owns human property too. Illegally. bc he's a minor and also a citizen of zero human countries. so he has forged documents too. He has 6 pounds of crystal meth. He has no idea what it is, but he has it, he thinks it's plant fertilizer. Don't ask how. For all his Vacker properness, Fitz goes feral in the forbidden cities. He collects pride flags too, for Biana and someday himself, when he stops being in denial. of course all this stuff and he still doesn't have a single human penny to his name. Sophie's feeling homesick so Fitz shows her his hoard. She goes crazy. Everyone makes a day of looking through Fitz's stuff. What crazy is that all of this is under his bed. it's all in there. It's magic. You're wrong if you think Fitz is a normal guy. he's not.

[tedwardremus]

⭐ share a snippet where a character is the best at something

💙share a snippet where a character falls out of love a little

✨ share a snippet featuring night time

🌈 share two lines that show the before/after of any growth a character made

📚 share a snippet where the character is being academic/is in an academic setting/is showing off their knowledge

🌳 share a snippet featuring nature of any kind

👁 👄 👁️ share a snippet where the character is very visually engaged/a snippet with description

😭 share a snippet that will break our hearts

🐙 share a snippet where the character is being a brat/smartass

💅 share a snippet showing a character embracing their lgbtqness

🎶 share a happy moment. ANY happy moment. You must have ONE.

🧢 share a snippet about clothes

👁️ 👄 👁️

\__|__/

/\

Wut, u staring at bruh? Body positivity stop staring at my stick

Nena, do you realize this is basically all the asks on the the snippet ask game! list? (of course you do.) I hope you enjoy and read every snippet @nena-96

Answers under the cut because this was 12 snippets you crazy anon who is not Nena

(also, if anyone wants to send in more snippets asks feel free, I have plenty of content to choose from)

⭐ share a snippet where a character is the best at something

From Querencia when the school governor's take a tour of Hogwarts, James brags about Lily being the best at potions.

James was leaning against an unused lab table, watching a Ravenclaw student put far too much toadstool into their shrinking solution when the eldest governor walked up to him and nudged him with his cane. “Are you going into the family business, Son?” The man wheezed out. “No, transfiguration is more my thing. Lily is fantastic, though. Professor Slughorn can tell you all about how marvelous she is.” James gestured to Lily, who was helping a student hold their knife for a more effective shave. “Oh yes, Miss Evans is one of the brightest students I’ve ever had, and did you know she is a muggle-born? Why, you never would have guessed from the way she can brew a potion. Just pure natural talent!”

💙share a snippet where a character falls out of love a little

In Werewolf Registration Act of 1947 Teddy doesn't fall out of love with his dead father but he definitely starts to question why Remus willingly went to die in a war instead of staying alive to raise him

"Voldemort was obviously bad, but the Ministry didn’t believe in equality either. Not for elves or goblins or..." Teddy trailed off. "Werewolves," Harry supplied, understanding dawning in his eyes as he caught onto Teddy's train of thought. "Yeah," Teddy confirmed. "So why did people fight for the Ministry? Why risk your own life to save other people if those people are just going to kill you anyway?" Harry listened intently, considering Teddy's words before responding. "Because it was the right thing to do. Even if it wasn’t a perfect choice. And there was hope." "But he didn’t have to die," Teddy pointed out, frustration creeping into his voice. "It wasn’t really his fight. Why didn’t he just say, 'screw it all, screw everything,' and let others deal with it?"

✨ share a snippet featuring night time

From Light is the Most Glorious, James takes Lily up to the Astronomy Tower in 6th year to see the Northern Lights.

"Why did you bring me here?" Lily shivered and looked at James, who she could barely see in the darkness. He brandished his wand and created blue flames in his hands that he then floated in the space between them, enveloping them in a circle of warmth. Lily could now see him smiling. "Look up," was all James said. Above them, the night sky was a celestial canvas, painted with ethereal hues that danced and wove a mesmerizing tapestry of light. Wisps of color, like whispers of a cosmic secret, materialized on the dark heavens. The sky crackled with electric greens, blues, and purples, radiant and otherworldly, gently cascading from the inky expanse above. As Lily stared awestruck by the cosmic spectacle, she felt that time had lost its grip and that she was starting to float high above, in lights.

🌈 share two lines that show the before/after of any growth a character made

From Padfoot in Privet Drive where we have two broken and traumatized people and in the end, well one summer with proper love and support can really make a difference.

before

Harry gulped as he stroked Hedwig's feathers, avoiding Siriu’s emotional gaze. Without anything else to distract him, Harry made the excuse to brush his teeth and left Sirius at his desk, holding the framed photo of his parents, who would always be too young.

after

“Thanks, Padfoot,” Harry said into Sirius's chest. “Thanks for coming home with me. Thanks for breaking out of Azkaban. Thanks for everything.”

📚 share a snippet where the character is being academic/is in an academic setting/is showing off their knowledge

From one of my favorite little fics I've written, A Decent Bloke. James helps Lily with her History of Magic essay.

Lily rolled her eyes, but curiosity flickered in them. "Fine, enlighten me. What do you know about Wizard and Muggle relations at the turn of the century?" James grinned. "Easy. There were no relations. The Muggles were being devastated by the First World War, and the Minister for Magic, Archer Evermonde I believe, had forbidden the magical community to get involved. A real tragedy in regard to humanitarian aid and you know just plain human decency. Only one member of the Wizengamot condemned the Minister for his position." Lily flipped rapidly through her textbook scanning for the information. "Really? That's not in here." James took a triumphant bite of the apple he had surreptitiously pulled from his robe. "Of course not. You'll have to go beyond the ministry-approved texts to get the whole story. They are very careful at what gets put on the History of Magic curriculum. Wouldn't want young students to get disillusioned from our fine government after all."

🌳 share a snippet featuring nature of any kind

From To Climb Steep Hills Requires A Slow Pace At First, a fic about Sirius saying goodbye to Hogwarts as his days of being a student come to a close.

Billions of years old. That's how old the Scottish Highlands are. The pebbles he kicked with his dragonhide boots were once part of an era on this planet when life had not formed. When the only breath to be made was the wind tunneling through rock and stone. "Mr. Black the only advice I can give to you is this: Use what you can in order to do whatever it is you can to do something that matters." How could anything, Sirius thought to himself, possibly matter when you had looked into the stone eyes of the unfathomable old age of the earth itself?

👁 👄 👁️ share a snippet where the character is very visually engaged/a snippet with description

From Rumor Has It when Severus oversees James and Lily sharing a moment

Potter placed his forehead against Lily's and whispered something softly to her while looking straight into her dark green eyes. A transformation swept over Lily, and her frown turned into a small smile. She uncrossed her arms, wrapped them around his neck, and buried her face in his chest. There was no bitting remark that would sting for days, no raised voices that echoed across the courtyard, no storm of indignation and feet that stomped away. Instead, there was only the quiet exchange of affection, a scene that struck Severus with a pang of an unfamiliar sensation.

😭 share a snippet that will break our hearts

From The Parting Glass, Moony and Padfoot's last full moon togther.

It will be no problem,” Remus said in what he hoped was a casual voice. “I said I’m good.” Sirius sounded more bitter and sharp, and Remus said nothing in response.  The gap between them was palpable. It was the distance of fourteen years, as cold as an Azkaban cell, as silent as self-loathing, as lonely as survival, and roughly the size of James Potter's body. The gap kept them apart even when they were sitting next to each other. Reminding them they could never be as close as they were before. Even if they forgave each other, even if they understood each other, even when they loved each other, the gap was too deep to cross.

🐙 share a snippet where the character is being a brat/smartass

The lad's disastrous night out from Does Permanent Mean Forever?

“Alright, boys,” The rough-looking tattoo artist addressed them. “What can we do you for?” Sirius grinned wide and pushed James forward. “Birthday boy first, if you please!” James blinked behind his glasses before remembering what they were doing in the shop. “Erm, yes, I would like a stag tattoo, sir.” The tattoo artist looked James up and down in judgment. “Alright. Where?” “On his arse,” Sirius helpfully replied.

💅 share a snippet showing a character embracing their lgbtqness

From Citius, Altius, Fortius – Communite, my first jilypad story

 He took off his pants, his full self springing free from confinement. He walked over to the still kneeling Sirius, cupped his jaw in his hands, and gave him a long, heated kiss.  Sirius responded enthusiastically, pulling James close and running his hands up his bare back. 

🎶 share a happy moment. ANY happy moment. You must have ONE.

From Feels Like Home To Me, Harry and Lily Luna build a snowman

“Boys!” Harry called out to James and Al, who were playing dueling with toy wands from Weasley Wizard Wheezes. “Don’t you want to join us?” But they continued to chase around the garden, yelling out fake spells and ignoring their father. “Ignore them, Daddy. They are boys. They don’t have the talent for building snowpeople like us.” Harry frowned, his eyebrows knitting together in thought. “Really? But I’m a boy.”  “No, you’re not, Daddy.” Lily insisted with a giggle. “You’re my daddy! Boys are stupid, and you’re the smartest.” “Am I now?” Harry asked, a little shocked. 

share a snippet about clothes

From Snuffles & Son , Neville is all ready to spend the day with his grandfather and Harry.

Sirius knocked on the door, which opened wide to reveal Neville Longbottom already dressed in his outdoor gear: green wellies, a wide-brimmed yellow hat, a waterproof cloak, and an insect-catching net. "Hi, Harry! Grandad said that since it stopped raining, we could catch tadpoles!" Neville asked eagerly, his wide-brimmed hat slipping below his eyes as he spoke.

[little-corritrice]

Fred ~ Attention

Sitting in the dining room, I was in the Order of the Phoenix meeting. I tried speaking sometimes to give my thoughts, but Sirius kept interrupting me, telling me that no one cared. I frowned each time, and now I was just sitting there with my head down, fidgeting with my fingers. The front door opened and in came Mad-Eye, Tonks, Kingsley, and Harry Potter. I saw how Harry's face lit up when he saw my dad, Sirius. Sirius smiled at him before Mrs. Weasley got up, going to shut the door. "Why don't you go upstairs with him." Sirius said. I was about to object, but he cut me off. "I'm not asking, y/n. Go now." He said, and I frowned while I walked out. I walked up the stairs, going to the room. I saw Hermione and Ron talking to him, and him being mad that Dumbledore was keeping him in the dark. 

I sat on the bed behind him as he rambled until a popping sound was heard and the twins appeared. "Harry." Fred said. George smiled at me, sitting on my right, as Fred sat on my left. "Thought we heard your dulcet tones." George said, looking at him. "Don't bottle it up though, mate. Let it out." Fred said, making me shake my head. "Anyway, if you're all done shouting..." George started. "Wanna hear something a little more interesting?" Fred finished, looking at the three of them. The next second, we are by the stairs with an ear on a string being lowered to the kitchen door below. Ginny joined us, but soon after, Hermione's cat, Crookshanks, started playing with the ear. The twins started panicking, trying to bring the ear up, but the cat had a claw on it, and tore it off. I stifled a laugh, backing away.

As we all walked down the stairs, Molly was telling us we will be eating in the kitchen. I was walking up to her when the twins popped out of nowhere, scaring me and her. "Oh! Just because you're allowed to use magic now does not mean you have to whip your wands out for everything!" Molly screamed as they ran downstairs, Fred pulling me with him. He made me sit next to him, and gave me a peck on the lips. I smiled shortly back. Everyone was talking about Harry's hearing with the Ministry, but I paid no mind. Don't get me wrong, I love the kid, but he was "the kid Sirius has always wanted'. It was as if I was non-existent to Sirius. I shook my head at the thought, and saw Harry reading the paper. "Hey, dad. So, I've been mean-" I started, but he cut me off. "Not now, y/n. Harry is here." He said, focusing back on Harry. "But-" I started, but yet again was cut off. "I said not now. Can't you understand? Harry is more important right now!" He yelled, making me go silent. "Okay." I said, running out of the kitchen.

Everyone sat there, not knowing what to do. Fred was fuming, but he kept his anger in. "What is your problem, Sirius?" Molly yelled, putting the knife down. "y/n is the prob-" He said, but Molly cut him off. "That's enough! y/n isn't a problem!" She yelled, glaring at him. Sirius didn't say anything, just rolled his eyes. Everyone sat there quietly, looking at Sirius. "What happened with y/n?" Harry asked, looking at Sirius. "She was without a father for a long time. And now that he's back, he doesn't pay attention to her." Lupin said, and Harry looked at him. "She just needs more love." Lupin finished, and Fred got up, storming out. He ran all the way up the stairs, going straight to y/n's room. He knocked on the door, but got no response. He took a deep breath, trying not to sound angry. "y/n? Please open the door." He said, but no response again.

I didn't answer as Fred knocked on the door. He kept asking until the door was opened and he ran in. The door shut again, and locked this time. "y/n?" He called out, but found me sobbing in the corner. He kneeled down, pulling me back into his arms. I turned to him, burying my head on his chest. "I'm here, love. Let it out." He whispered to me, holding me closer. I clung to his shirt, hating how I was being treated. I sobbed until all my tears dried up, and I was just a sniffling mess. He pulled me away slightly, looking at my face. He rubbed his thumb across my cheek, wiping the tears. "It's okay, love." He whispered, and I once again buried my face in his chest. "Why doesn't he pay attention to me? Why does Harry, his god-son, get all the attention while his actual daughter is treated like she doesn't even exist?" I said into his chest, shaking my head as tears were about to come again. "He doesn't deserve you as his daughter. Soon enough, he's going to realize what he lost." He whispered to me, stroking my head as he gave it a kiss. The whole night, Fred stayed with me, stroking my hair and telling me stories to coax me to sleep. I snuggled closer, giving his chest a lazy kiss before I finally put the day behind me.

[wendylover2008]

team hope galaxy incorrect quotes 3  💗💜💚🖤💛🤎 (and sakura)  warning some contain some shipping and some language

Sakura (new OC): Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a pansexual  bigender (female and nonbinary) threat 

wendy: Why are your tongues purple? calli: We had slushies. I had a blue one. adia: I had a red one. wendy: oh wendy: wendy: OH wander:  wander: You drank each other's slushies that’s pretty gay.

wendy: The stars sure do look beautiful tonight. wander: Yeah, they do. wendy: You know what else is beautiful? wander: *Blushing Furiously* Who? Did you mean me? wendy: What? No, I meant Calli.  

wendy: I was arrested for being too cool. wander: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.    

wendy: I hardly slept last night wander: When you can’t sleep, it means someone is thinking about you. Someone who loves you. wendy: Who would be thinking about me at 3 a.m.? calli: [gay panic] 

wendy: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions? wander: Put spaghetti in it. wendy: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you. calli: Put spaghetti in it. wendy: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two. adia: Put spaghetti in it. wendy: I'm no longer taking suggestions.    

calli: Why are wendy and wander sitting with their backs to each other? adia: They had a fight. calli: Then why are they holding hands? adia: They get sad when they fight.  

wendy: *Screams* wander: *Screams louder to establish dominance* calli: Should we do something? adia: No, I want to see who wins.   

wendy: What does 'take out' mean? wander: Food. calli: Dating sakura (new OC): Murder gaelic: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.  

wendy: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses. wander: This knife is actually a magic wand. calli: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel. sakura (new OC): *cocks gun* Magic missile. gaelic: What the ruck is wrong with you people.  

wendy: So uhhh... my question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine... uncooked... sakura (new OC): I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine! gaelic: In your pantry! wendy: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop? sakura (new OC): Is your friend here? wendy, motioning to wander: Yeah. sakura (new OC), to wander: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >:( calli: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew- calli: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS?! calli: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN Everyone else: No. calli, to sakura (new OC) and gaelic: YOU RUCKIN BASTARDS sakura (new OC): YAAAAAAAAY! gaelic: THE PRESTIGE!  

wendy: Rules are made to be broken. wander: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. calli: Uh, piñatas. sakura (new OC): Glow sticks. gaelic: Karate boards. adia: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. wendy: Rules. wander: 

wendy: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. wander: Okay, but what is updog? calli: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. sakura (new OC): Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. gaelic: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. adia: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. wendy: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. sakura (new OC): You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. calli: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. wander: What’s a henway?? wendy: Oh, about five pounds.

wendy: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. wander: What if it bites me and it dies!? calli: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, wander, learn to listen. sakura (new OC): What if it bites itself and I die? gaelic: That’s voodoo. adia: What if it bites me and someone else dies? wander: That’s correlation, not causation. sakura (new OC): What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? gaelic: That’s kinky. wendy: Oh my God.  

 That’s everything. See you next time on team hope galaxy incorrect quotes   💗💜💚🖤💛🤎

[on1f150]

In His Arms || Ron Weasley

prompt: you are being tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange and Ron rescues you

a/n: this follows the movies not the book. Dobby also doesn’t die :)

Your screams echoed through the mansion as the witch carved into your skin.

"Y/N!!" You could faintly hear Ron shouting out your name but was too scared and tired to respond.

"Oh look at that, girl. You have your traitor boyfriend shouting your name. Should I take him too and make him watch you suffer?" Lestrange hissed.

You only was able to wince in response but terrifyingly screamed as the death eater carved something else to your arm

"Ron, yelling for her won't do anything." Harry said after his best friend called for Y/n for the 10th time.

"But she's in pain, Harry! What else are we going to do?" said Ron, irritatingly.

“Shh. SHH. Pettigrew’s coming.” Harry suddenly put a finger on his mouth and nudged Ron. The two boys peered out the barred door to see a short man with teeth that imitated a mouse walking down the stairs. 

Harry and Ron both moved aside to let him in but they heard a crack and saw Pettigrew fall to the ground. 

“What the-” Harry looked up the stairs and saw a small elf. 

“Dobby?”  Harry questioned in clear confusion.

“Dobby has come to save Harry Potter, sir. Dobby heard he was in trouble!” squeaked the house elf. 

“Oh right! I forgot house elves could apparate into places we normally can’t. Brilliant!”

“Harry! Stop talking and do something! Y/n’s up there getting tortured. We need to help her!” Ron urged. 

“Right, sorry.” Harry shifted his focus back to his current situation. “Okay, can you take Luna and Mr. Ollivander somewhere safe? Preferably the cottage that Billius Weasley and Fleur Delacour lives in. Do you know where that is?” 

“Yes, Dobby does!” Dobby’s huge eyes lit up in enthusiasm as he was being ordered by the chosen one. 

“Then, can you come back and get us?” Harry instructed. 

“I will be back Mr. Potter.” Dobby unlocked the barred door, apparated into the cell and disapparated with Luna and Mr. Ollivander to the cottage.

Ron began to rush up the stairs but Harry held onto his arm.

“Ron we need a plan. Do you not hear whats going on up there?” Harry whispered. 

“But y/n’s up there! I need to help her.”

On the floor above them, Bellatrix just slashed the goblin’s cheeck.

“Consider yourself lucky, goblin,” Hissed the witch. “The same won’t be said for this one.” Bellatrix walked over to Y/n.

“Like hell.” Ron pulled himself from Harry’s grasp on his arm and ran up the stairs.

“No! Ron!” Harry ran up the stairs after his best friend.

“Expelliarmus!” The Weasley yelled at Lestrange.

Lucius Malfoy grabbed for his wand but Harry was quick.

“Stupefy!” 

Bellatrix swiftly grabbed Y/n by the scruff of her neck. 

“Stop!” She yelled at the small duel that was being conjured between the Malfoys and the two boys. “Drop your wands. Now!” She had a knife that was less than an inch on Y/n’s neck. 

Draco rushed up to grab the wands once Harry and Ron dropped them on to the wooden floor.

“Well, well, well. Look what we have here. All brand new.” A smile crept up Bellatrix’s wicked mouth. “Call him.” 

Lucius Malfoy began to move his hand at his Death Eater tattoo but was interrupted by a small squeaking noise. Everyone looked up to see an elf on top of a chandelier. In a few seconds, the chandelier came crashing down onto Bellatrix and Y/n.

Bellatrix let out a nasty shriek while Y/n ran into Ron’s arms.

“Are you ok? Y/n, I’m here. It’s ok. I’m here. You’re safe.” Ron sputtered out endless comforting words as Y/n sobbed into his arms. 

“STUPEFY!!” Harry aimed three wands at Lucius Malfoy and threw him back into the wall. 

“Stupid elf!” insulted Bellatrix. The group was back together, Harry, Ron, Y/n, Dobby, and Griphook. “You could’ve killed me!”

“Dobby never meant to kill. Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure.” Dobby proudly said.

Narcissa Malfoy began flicking her wand at the group but was disarmed by Dobby’s snap.

During all of this, Ron kept his arms around Y/n, so afraid to let her go. Y/n was pressing her body against Ron, afraid to leave him. Their hands were together.

“Dobby has come to save Harry Potter and his friends.” Dobby grabbed onto Harry’s jacket and disapparated them. 

The group dropped onto sand. 

“Is Harry Potter and his friends alright?” Dobby walked towards them.

“Yes, we’re great. Thank you so much, Dobby.” Harry smiled.

“Are you alright? Let me get Billy to make something for you.” Ron was uncontrollably scared. 

“Ron.” Y/n held onto his arm. “I’m fine. I’m here with you.” 

Ron still held the hugest amount of fear in his eyes. 

“I was so scared of losing you and I didn’t know what to do. I heard your screams and-” 

Y/n pulled Ron’s face close to hers. Their lips touched and Ron’s body entirely relaxed. 

“I love you so much, Ron. Thank you for being here for me.”

“I love you so much, Y/n. You mean the world to me. Come on let’s get you into the cottage.” Ron now had the hugest grin on his face as he carried Y/n to his brother’s cottage. Y/n closed her eyes with a small smile as well and pulled her closer to his arms.

[greyeyedmonster-18]

Fluffy Harry& Sirius scenario: Harry coming back inside from flying, finds that Sirius is taking a nap, and then curls up next to him.

oh anon, this is exactlllly what i needed today. how did you know?

here's a live dribble for this prompt, i hope it meets expectations <3

It had been an unusual summer day from the start, an unusual Friday where Remus was the one at the table in the morning when Harry woke up and stumbled into the kitchen without his glasses for breakfast. Something about being twelve and deciding he didn't actually need them, not when he knew the halls of Number 12 like the back of his hand, and he didn't need to see Remus and Sirius's faces, especially not when they were scolding him and telling him to go put on his glasses.

Usually, Sirius was the one awake in the quiet morning, already halfway done for the day. Having been up for hours doing all sorts of things. Usually, Remus was the one sleeping, and sometimes after Harry ate, he would go back to bed with Remus because it was summer, and what else was there to do but lounge about in your shorts and sleep the days away?

But Remus was the one awake and had a cup of coffee in front of him, his own glasses on his face--the ones Harry rarely saw him wear.

"Morning, Harry," Remus smiled softly.

"Why are you up? Is there an emergency?" Harry asked around a yawn, rumpling his hair before flopping into the kitchen chair. Remus lazily flicked his wand, summoning a bowl of summer berries over to the table with some yogurt. Remus breakfast.

"Curious what kind of emergency you think would get me out of bed at this hour?"

"Dunno...fire?"

Remus mumbled something that sounded vaguely like let me burn, before levitating toast over to the table as well, "No fire. Sirius is doing some schoolwork, he's in the study, and...we swapped today so he could get that finished."

Harry hummed, taking a slice of toast from the plate and putting it into his mouth to hold it while he grabbed the knife and the butter. The start of Harry's second year was also the start of Sirius taking legal coursework at the ministry, intent on becoming a member of wizarding council, and Sirius had chosen to continue doing work over the summer. It was different-- the first 10 years of Harry's life, Sirius had always been around. And he still was, of course, but Harry was adjusting to Sirius being in his study late at night; to Remus making dinner a few times over the winter hols; to Sirius reading more than Harry had seen him previously.

He took the toast out of his mouth, "He's busy all day?"

"Not all day," Remus assured him, "Hopefully he'll come up for air in the afternoon, and if not--"

"Then we can start an actual fire in the kitchen so he comes to put it out?"

"I was going to go with playing music loudly but, that works too."

-

But the morning passed and afternoon came, Sirius still not making an appearance, even as Harry went out into the backyard to fly. Remus was the one who was supervising. Sirius hadn't even emerged from his study when there was a minor row about said supervision, Harry's voice rising louder than it probably should have.

I play at school, no one is even out there for practices! You don't need to watch me out here like I'm five

If you were five, I'd go get the kneepads and helmet out of the attic. Take your pick.

The mid-afternoon sun became too hot, and after a few hours, Harry was tired, even if he didn't admit it. He made to walk down the hall to go back towards Sirius's study but halted at the sitting room. Sirius was there, book in his lap and fast asleep. Though he was sitting up, as if he hadn't intended on falling asleep at all, one of his elbows on the armrest, propping his head up, his ponytail lopsided.

Harry titled his head to the side, realizing he hadn't actually ever seen Sirius sleep before. In fact, Harry had wondered if Sirius ever did many times, because he was always awake when Harry needed him. Early morning before tests at school where Harry would get a funny feeling in his stomach, late at night when the sheets at Hogwarts were suddenly too scratchy and not right, in the middle of the afternoon when Harry just wanted to say hi. Sirius...always picked up the mirror. But here he was...asleep, and Harry wasn't sure what to do.

"Har--oh." Remus said, his voice dropping as he stopped at the sight, "Finally."

"I've never seen him nap before."

"Odd isn't it? I barely recognize him when he sits still," Remus nudged Harry lightly, "There's lemonade for you in the kitchen. Or...we could bring it in here?"

Harry nodded, gingerly stepping into the room, suddenly very aware of how heavy his steps were, how noisy his breathing was, moving to sit next to Sirius on the couch softly. He moved carefully, taking the book off of Sirius's lap and closing it, making sure he used a bookmark to mark the place, just like Sirius liked it.

Harry drew his legs up onto the cushions, daring to move just a few inches closer, so he could rest his cheek on his godfather's arm.

That would do.

-

Harry dozed off, at some point after quiet lemonade and Remus joining them in the armchair across the room. He didn't wake up until he felt the body underneath him startle awake.

"Shit what time is it," Sirius said immediately, jostling Harry unintentionally, Harry's face still pressed into his arm, "Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't say shit," Harry mumbled rubbing the sleep off his face, watching as Sirius did the same, reaching up to coax the hair tie out of his messy hair, surveying the scene extremely disoriented.

"Was I asleep?"

"Yeah. We came in from flying and you were out."

Sirius sighed, "I'm sorry, love. I moved here because I wanted to watch you fly while I read...fell asleep instead, I suppose."

"Bodies need sleep, Sirius."

"Now who told you that?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "Oh I don't know, some bloke with weird tattoos has told me once or twice."

"Hm, well, I might have to disagree with him on this particular occasion..." Sirius trailed off, "I wish I could've flown with you." Sirius reached over to push Harry's hair off his forehead, hand lingering on the back of Harry's head softly. He let Sirius keep him there for a moment, before giving in to the urge to hug his godfather.

Harry wrapped his arms around Sirius's waist, squeezing one arm between his godfather's back and the couch, "It's okay...napping is actually one of my favorite activities. So, this was just as good."

"Really?"

"Really. I don't mind. Anytime with you is good."

Sirius chuckled, kissing Harry on the top of his head, "You're the best kid, you know that?"

"Strange man with tattoos has also told me that a few times."

[jaylikesrainbowtigers]

Harry Potter as Incorrect Quotes

Harry: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

*Ron is cooking* Fred and George: Any chance that’s for us? Ron: It’s for Mum. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need her on my side. Ginny: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

Sirius: So are we flirting right now? A random Death Eater: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU! Sirius: That doesn’t answer my question.

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*  Harry: Thanks fam!  Ginny: oh no. Luna: *cries* I love you too! Ron: Sounds fake but okay. Hermione: *A flustered mess*  Draco: can i get a refund?

Hermione: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Ron: You need to stop.

Harry: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it Ron: Just rip the bandage off. Harry: It’s Malfoy. Ron: Put the bandage back on.

Blaise: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

Pansy: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.  Blaise: This knife is actually a magic wand.  Goyle: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.  Crabbe: *cocks gun* Magic missile.  Draco: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

Hermione: Ron and I don’t use pet names.  Harry: I see. Hey, what do bees make?  Hermione: Honey?  Ron: Yes, dear?  Hermione:  Harry: Don't ever lie to my face again.

Snape: How many kids do you have? Remus: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

Ginny: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*  Harry: If I had a pound for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 pennies  Ginny: If I had a pound for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you  Hermione: Actually I did the math, Harry would have £225, not £0.15.  Harry: Fam I’m right here....  Ron: If I had a pound I would buy a can of soda :)  Neville: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?  Ron: Sorry I only have a pound. Neville: :(  Hermione: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Harry would have £22,500 because it's a pound for every pixel, not a penny. Ron: If I had £22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice. Hermione: You can buy anything you want with £22,500. Seamus: Yeah and he wants soda and apply juice. Hermione: Apply juice to what? Dean: Directly to the forehead! Harry: Great chat everyone.