#harry potter actually taking care of his mental health

[wisteria-lodge]

hi op!! hope you're doing well. genuine question, but do you think lucius pays his taxes? he makes public donations and associates with the ministry to a rather personal extent that i imagine he at least forks over some to whatever department at the MoM handles taxes but he does strike me as the person who'd at least find ways to evade being taxed (writing off business dealings as personal purchases to avoid getting taxed for them, donating to charity to get a write-off for the money, having some under the table deals so what taxes he has to pay for wiltshire are rather minimized) but what do you think?

Now I'm thinking about how taxes work in the wizarding world.

Okay, so one of the interesting things about HP is that pure-blood wizards are sort of stuck in the 1700s. There are a few aesthetic/fashion details from the 1800s, but in terms of tech level and the way the world is set up, we're still pre-industrial revolution. Which makes sense! The wizards never had an industrial revolution, and split away from the muggle world in the late 1600s.

(Phillip Pullman was also doing a psuedo 1700s-1800s thing for his children's fantasy series at around the same time. Cannot prove that JKR has any knowledge of His Dark Materials, but another English author writing a similar kind of book? Stealth-setting a book in the 1700s isn't such an out-there choice.)

That means a lot of the issues people have with the HP world building are really just issues with... life in the 1700s. Why is there no mental health care? 1700s. Why is the Hogwarts curriculum so weird? 1700s. Why is slavery okay? 1700s. Why is there no drinking age, and you can just purchase drugs (love potion) over the counter? 1700s.

In a similarly 1700s way, the Wizarding World seems to be composed of semi-autonomous fiefdoms, which report back to the Ministry of Magic. On paper, the Ministry has has control over Hogwarts, St. Mungos, the various pure-blood estates. Whether or not that's that's totally true... I mean the Ministry tries and fails to take over Hogwarts in Book 5, and in Book 2 they clearly *try* to prosecute the Malfoys for holding dark contraband, but never get very far.

Here's what I would do, if I were writing something political based in the Harry Potter universe. The Wizengamot seems to be the oldest ruling body (its name is a pun on the Wittengamot, which is from the 7th century.) So probably those seats are inherited (House of Lords style) possibly with a magical component involved. New members can be added, but only by existing members voting them in. The Wizengamot serves as the High Court (as we see - more normal cases are processed by the Council of Magical Law, and Arthur is really wrong-footed when he hears Harry is getting a *Wizengamot* trial.)

They also probably have some sort of pass/veto power, and the power to elect/replace a Minister of Magic. (the position was "offered" to Dumbledore multiple times, but he turned it down. So he's definitely not campaigning in a general election.) I doubt they actually *write* laws - that seems to be handled by the more bureaucratic-flavored Ministry members like Arthur and Percy, who do *not* sit on the Wizengamot.

I'd also have it so that taxes were handled in a more 1700s style. There'd be a lot of sales tax, which the Ministry would be able to enforce because I'm pretty sure they they oversee food production. There would also be a fee for the various Ministry-run procedures like booking overseas portkeys (and legal-social functions? the officiant at Dumbledore's funeral and Fleur's wedding is pretty Ministry coded.) "Pay a fine" seems to be a pretty common punishment in this world - which isn't a tax, but definitely a way for the Ministry to make money. I wonder if people like Ludo Bagman *bought* his position. It would be very 1700s of him.

Then there's property tax, and this is where the the old pure-blood families on the Wizangamot come in. I think the Ministry presents a budget to the Wizangamot, and *they* make up the difference, among themselves. At which point yes of course Lucius finds ways to weasel out of paying if he doesn't like the current minister, if he doesn't like the deal he's getting, if he's just feeling pissy that day, whatever. But at the end of the day, they collect their own taxes from the various spheres they control.

Now we're getting into headcanons, but I think the Malfoy money comes from primarily being landlords. At *very least,* Malfoy Manor has a magical satellite village (a la Hogsmeade or Ottery St. Catchpole) that they just own and probably low-key police. (they probably also just own a chunk of Wiltshire.) I also highly, highly doubt that the Malfoys gave up all their ties to the muggle world post Statue of Secrecy. If every new Muggle Prime Minister has a meeting with the Minister of Magic, then... I bet every time Lloyds of London gets a new CEO, Lucius Malfoy shows up to say, "We get 1.5% off the top. My bankers will be in touch." Goblins don't care about the Ministry's laws even slightly, and there's got to be an exchange rate if Hermione's parents can show up to Diagon Alley and buy her books.

All of the old pureblood families are going to have their own *thing,* their own under-the table agreements and sweetheart deals. The Blacks strike me as being big into shipping, probably because they're so based in *London.* But yeah, at least to me, this is the sort of thing that gels with the universe that we see.

(Hogwarts and St. Mungo's would be funded the same way, on a smaller scale. A huge part of St. Mungo's budget just seems to be the Malfoys. And Hogwarts has a board of governors who under normal circumstances raise money and make decisions on how to run the school... but they don't seem especially powerful these days. I'll bet it's because whatever endowment Hogwarts has/whatever funds Dumbledore has at his disposal *are* enough to run it... which is why Dumbledore can do whatever he wants, and becomes an almost independent political entity.)

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey I’ve read a little about the law and I kind of don’t care about it. I’ve manifested well without it and honestly it just seems like an over complication so I can still get into the void without using it, because most people do, but everyone on tumblr seems to disagree with that sentiment

Funny story, I actually shifted before I even properly leaned about the law.

I remember this one girl on Reddit who was a very popular shifter told everyone that the key to shifting was the law of assumption and Neville Goddard lectures. She shifted to Harry Potter after understanding his lectures and it only took her only a week after being on her journey for two years.

At this point, I was sooo depressed and down bad to shift. I had tried every single method under the sun on Reddit, Quora, amino, YouTube, and others methods derived from religion….so her telling me this man was my key was an absolute dream. Again I was down bad, so atp I would have eaten cow shit if that’s what it took to shift 😭😭 it is maddening thinking about how depressed and obsessed I was with it but whatever I’m up now.

Anyways I still never really got into the law because it was boring and his lectures made me fall asleep at the time. I was like 17 and didn’t really care how or why shifting worked, I just wanted to escape tbh. Anyways I decided to actually take the law seriously but then the creator who introduced me to the law left Reddit and shifting media because she believed she was mentally ill, and shifting was fake and she had to get therapy.

I remember I hated Neville and the law of assumption after that so I dropped it, which is super funny to me because why was I blaming a dead man for this situation. I avoided it with my life and anytime someone recommended it to me I got unhealthily mad and told them to shut up probably idk. I was 17 and depressed and in a really bad place and that situation just made me spiral beyond anything and ruined my mental health.

Anyways I focused on manifesting better mental health and a better life after that,and shifted my attention to just intention which is literally the everything inside an assumption. I ended up shifting obviously and then I dove into the law out of curiosity because after I did it I just wanted to know.. I guess the logistics behind it because it was a cool phenomenon to me.

But this wasn’t until 6 months after I shifted and now.. well I obviously love the law and understand it and have a blog dedicated to it so I obviously use and recommend it!

What I will say is everything we learn with the law, 3D and 4D, dwelling in imaginations, states, affirm and persist, the ego, I am state, persistence, you know all that good jazz that I even talk about, is simply because we wanna learn and understand it properly. If you don’t want to use the law or whatever that’s fine but understanding assumption creates reality is the bases of everything.

Just understand that and it’s literally the same thing without all the other stuff lol. I guess that’s why I love intention! it’s the premise of everything we do. Intending, wanting, desiring, whatever and then assuming it to be true is so simple and it works. At least that’s how I shifted anyways. Regardless you use the law even if you’re not aware of it, and there are people entering the void, manifesting, and shifting without knowing the law so why would that be different for you?

So if you wanna use the void (which is literally within you, so hating it means hating your pure state of consciousness which is weird)why would the discussion about it even matter unless you assume it does anyways. Idk my perception around it is completely different since I have met a lot of people with experiences with the void (like my church friend who died) but not the way the tumblr girlies use it. It’s valid regardless!

Literally just assume whatever benefits you and resonates with you will work and it will work, point blank periodt.

[l-y-e-a]

Marauders/Harry Potter - Fic recs

Poly!Marauders Cuddle by @cosmal quit by @ellecdc

@saintlike78 ↓

Behave (pt. 1) Flashing lights (pt. 2) No rest (pt. 3)

@randomoutsiders ↓

one where they help you out of subspace (and again) one where they punish you one where there’s a lot of jealousy one (another) where they all dominate you one where you’re not feeling too good one where you have to use your safe word one where you’re in subspace and they don’t know one where they push you too far into subspace (including marlene and lily) one where remus snaps at you one where you’re a little insecure one where you’re a crybaby

@moonstruckme ↓

emt!marauders are called after a mishap at work Your boyfriends discover you in A&E They talk you through getting stitches They comfort you in the hospital They comfort you when you're terrified of needles You try to avoid them when you're hurt You pick Sirius up after he gets hurt at work They comfort you when you're injured and anxious They check on you when you're struggling with your mental health They come when you get in a bad car crash The boy help (some more than others) when you can't say what you mean A calm, domestic morning with the marauders A semi-calm, domestic night Sleepy aftercare with the boys Sleepy aftercare with bratty!reader The boys coddle a touched starved!you Your first morning with the marauders The marauders comfort you when you're dealing with insomnia The marauders calm you down when you're feeling anxious The boys poke fun at you and James for being sleepy It's your first sleepover with the boys You fall too deep into subspace

Remus Lupin You forgot your purse by @bruisedboys

@luveline ↓

losers rockstar!remus comes to find you when you’re upset sleepy rockstar!remus clings to you after a show rockstar!remus refuses to leave your side rockstar!remus gets back after a show remus reassures you that you're not a burden to friends remus comforts you when you feel stupid remus comforts you when you feel like a loner remus reminds you that it’s okay to eat without him

@ddejavvu ↓

giving mafia!remus the silent treatment mafia!remus is late for your date

@gxtitobxby ↓

dealer!remus cuts you off shy!reader wants affection innocent!reader smokes for the first time and sirius laughs at her. bad move. sub!reader tries to give rem aftercare darling, come home promises

@randomoutsiders ↓

one where you touch yourself without his permission and he gets mad one where he pushes you too far into subspace one where you don’t pay attention in his class (professor!lupin)

James Potter

@fourmoony ↓

reassurance from jamie socially anxious reader feels too much for james

@luveline ↓

james does laundry and misses you after an argument you try to make it up to james after an argument you take bodyguard!James to a sleepover bodyguard!James comforts you in the rain bodyguard!James defends you from meanies James is your angry but soft bodyguard bodyguard!James comes to rescue you bodyguard!James dotes on you before bed bodyguard!James assuages your fears A star between hands shy!you wants to sleep over rockstar!James introduces you to the world James comforts you when you’re lonely you tell James he could’ve been nicer today James defends you from a coworker James assures you that you’re pretty you fall asleep on James’ shoulder James is upset when others treat you badly

@randomoutsiders ↓

one where you guys fight (part 2) one where he takes care of you after sex one where he’s jealous

Sirius Black neglect by @randomoutsiders

@luveline ↓

rockstar!sirius talks about you on the red carpet sirius gets drunk and you look after him sirius actually listens sirius comforts you when you worry you’re too shy sirius gives his shy girl a hug

Fred Weasley

@luveline ↓

a special friend

Regulus Black He loves you by @cryonme

[horriblegoosefest]

I Think You Can in Europe

By: @gallifrey1sburningsburning Pairing(s): Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Rating: T Word Count: 17, 864 Warnings/Content: No Archive Warnings Apply Goose: @timothysboxers

Tags:

Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst with a happy ending, humour, or so the author hopes, charity functions, volunteer work, quidditch, burnout - freeform, emotional meltdown, self-care, or the severe lack thereof, self-esteem issues, i swear it's not as heavy as it sounds, overworked Harry, Ron Weasley is a good friend, Hermione runs a school with a silly acronym, Harry can't say no to a challenge, Draco is perfectly happy to exploit that fact, getting together, drinking, healthy boundaries

Summary:

”I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?” “I think you can in Europe.” - Ten Things I Hate About You Harry has too many things to do and too little time to do them. He hardly has time to eat or sleep, he almost never sees his friends, his flat is a disaster, and he can’t remember the last time he cooked something that wasn’t a boxed meal—but when someone needs his help, how is he supposed to say ‘no’? Everything comes to a head when former-nemesis turned mutually-antagonistic-acquaintance Draco Malfoy finds him hiding under his invisibility cloak to avoid taking on yet another project and issues him a challenge: cancel one single obligatory event and take an evening to himself. Easy, right? As it turns out, not so much. Luckily, Harry’s now got Malfoy there to bully him into taking care of himself, whether he wants to or not.

A honk of appreciation from goose Timothysboxers:

I am so happy to have the opportunity to yell about this work! It explores some (potentially) challenging themes around mental health, burn-out, and your own self-view. While some of these topics are sensitive for me, I have zero regrets taking this wonderful journey with GB [the Author]. Their world building, character exploration, and relationship development is a treat to read—peppered with comedy, sneaky punches to the feels, and rewarding realisations from some unexpected sources. Sometimes, it's okay to say 'no', and reach for what you actually need.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

One of the scenarios I’ve had in my head for a while but can’t seem to find a solution for, is what if Sirius, instead of going after Peter on Halloween 1981, he thought "Ffs, everyone’s gonna think I betrayed James and Lily! I have to hide!" and then… actually hid because he knew he wouldn’t be able to prove his innocence?

Do you have any thoughts on that?

Sirius and His Imprisonment

Well, was he not able to prove his innocence?

The thing about Sirius is that he has the memories where Peter was made Secret Keeper in his place and will confess as much under Veritaserum. It's true he could have obliviated and rewritten the memories himself but that becomes overly convoluted and not something people would deem likely.

The trouble with Sirius is a series of tragic circumstances and weird things happening.

First, the whole ploy was that everyone thought he was Secret Keeper which meant they thought he was Secret Keeper. They assume he betrayed the Potters. This seems to be only confirmed when Sirius disappears for two weeks to hunt Peter. There's then a violent confrontation, Peter is presumed dead because they don't realize he could escape as an animagus, and it looks like Sirius struck the killing blow (that killed a whole lot of Muggles too).

This, combined with things being a mess and everyone being rounded up to be purged, combined with Sirius not being at his best mental health when he is found (laughing like a madman in the street), combined with Sirius being related to Bellatrix who around this time is also arrested for torturing the Lestranges into insanity, and we get this weird situation where they just don't bother to question Sirius at all.

There's no investigation, no reviewing of his memories, no putting him on Veritaserum. They just stick him in Azkaban because it seems like such an open and shut case and they've got Lucius Malfoy over there to try and deal with and imprison.

The thing is, he had what he needed to at least cast doubt on the situation, it's just that it didn't happen. I don't know if he would assume it's inevitable though.

Oh, he knew it was bad, he knew everyone would think as much, but his priority was not to clear his own name but to get revenge on Peter before he could disappear/potentially be caught by the law.

I don't think we (or Sirius even) can take it as a given that he would be caught. Especially since the whole thing with Peter is that he had to disappear because if he hadn't then chances were he would be the one who was caught.

Even Then...

And even if it was... Sirius cares more about revenge than his own safety. That's the whole thing. He does that in 1981 when he chases after Peter immediately and even when he breaks out of Azkaban in 1993. He would rather kill Peter in 1993 than use him to prove his innocence until he realizes he needs to be there for Harry (and then things go sideways).

Sirius would never sit by and hide or even rot in prison if he has a chance to get Peter.

You're actually just describing what Peter did. Peter, in terror and realizing Sirius knew and he was likely to be caught or killed, goes into hiding as a rat for over 10 years with the Weasleys.

[riansdiary]

Dearest Gentle Readers 💎

Hi everyone! 👋

I'm gonna be taking a break from posting about manifesting for now and answering loa questions. I just need to focus on myself and make myself complete and happy before I can go and actually help people. I'm glad that I was able to bring clarity and guidance with my posts! It made me happy when I was able to successfully help someone.

I just need to focus on myself for a while and actually take time to manifest my own desires especially ones that have to do with my life. I also need to take a break from over consuming and take care of my mental health better. I wish you all well and I promise to post again when I'm feeling much better!

Please feel free to ask questions about my interests or what I like though! I would love to talk about Bridgerton or Stranger Things or Harry Potter, even K-Pop!

Signing off temporarily.

Yours Truly,

Lady Rian Whistledown

[syawbrrymochii]

hi so um I'm very much in my feels abt harry potter (all three generations) and I would like to share pls

I wanna start with the next gen first bc it's the one I was obsessed with last year and for good reason

I love next gen hp!! Last year, I was all over Scorpius, Rose, Albus, Lily, Hugo, James, Teddy and so on and so forth

I just think that the Curse Child can go trip in a ditch and there's just so much potential when it comes to these children of heroes, children of the damaged, children of the torn and shattered and scarred and barely kept together mental health

and that potential, the what if, the what could be, the freedom and imagination is really what kept me so interested in the next gen part of the fandom

jkr and her twitter takes can go burn in a sewer for all I care bc what keeps me going in this part of the fandom is the creativity of the fans (including myself) and the more believable or the better they can tie their theories or hc to actual canon the more I'm hooked on your ideas and these set of characters

next gen is child me growing and testing waters, keeping close to canon while still letting myself run loose as I try new things with these characters and who's going to judge when there is no one permanent trait of these characters?

next gen means a lot to me bc it's child me who's so scared of change, so scared of the unknown being able to step out of my fear and comfort zone to try new things and not feel scared or guilty in doing so!!

next gen changed me and it's one of the stepping stones to change me to who I am today -- what would I be without this phase of obsession frfr

[obliviatemyheart]

Hermione being forgotten by everyone she ever cared about would've been her bad ending. Basically she gets Xion'd (Kingdom Hearts reference)

I'm glad she basically got a happy ending even if I don't ship Romione or like Ron as a character.

She's definitely the best person to ever have been given the title Minister of Magic.

She's the best character for that job. Arguably, the only one who should be permanently in that role. JK Rowling has made a character that's essentially the closest thing to a potential vigilante you could have in Harry Potter. If she didn't become part of The Golden Trio, I'd imagine she'd end up like Anakin Skywalker.

What do I mean by that? Well, basically, she'd be the key to changing everything about Harry Potter's story by falling from grace. Just like Anakin's fall to the dark side is the entire story of Star Wars. Hermione's fall would mirror that perfectly imo.

She's already the closest thing to a Chosen One for Muggleborns. She's the only character deeply concerned with the injustices of the wizarding world. She'd be far more dangerous than even Voldemort if she turned completely evil. But just like Anakin, she'd never be too far gone from saving. In Anakin's case, it was Luke. In Hermione's case, it would be Draco Malfoy.

Draco, just like Hermione, is in a role that parallels Anakin's. Anakin chose wrong by believing in Palpatine. While Draco never had a choice at all.

His options were kill Dumbledore or you and your mother & father will die. He likely would've been tortured for a very long time before being killed knowing how sadistic Bellatrix is.

In conclusion, Hermione & Draco's best possible ending is with each other. In every universe. That is a fact that will not be denied.

Dramione is the best future for the wizarding world. Even JK Rowling's own messed up mind thought Dramione was the answer to who Hermione would end up.

I love that Dramione would be compelling in any universe but most importantly in their own.

I love that Dramione could realistically go any direction and still eventually get their happy ending. What's most fascinating about it is how Hermione would eventually love someone who really understands her. The real her. Not just Harry Potter's Best Friend. Not just the second choice for Ron Weasley.

Hermione Granger & Draco Malfoy's character development throughout the story of Harry Potter really shows how dark the universe is, and I love that. Hermione isn't some pure hearted heroine. Draco's a bad apple with a rotten attitude but a good heart underneath. A family rotten to the core with a few exceptions (Narcissa, Andromeda, Regulus & Sirius)

I really love the idea of Hermione learning about both of Draco's family lines, The Malfoys & The Blacks. Her learning about Regulus from Draco. Her learning that Draco actually looks up more to Regulus than his own father after learning the truth from Kreacher.

Draco trying to destroy the locket Horcrux but needing Hermione to help him since he knows their strongest together.

Hermione learning about Draco throughout their years because she's convinced herself that to know your enemy is the best way to beat them. Hermione starts stalking him more than Harry because she's got much better skills doing that than him. She is also far more frightened by the emptiness in his eyes after his coming back to Hogwarts.

Harry tells her about Malfoy wanting to throw himself off the astronomy tower if he has to endure going back to Hogwarts for another two years. Of course, Harry brushes this off. Hermione doesn't. She takes this very, very, very, very seriously. She realizes what that means not only for his mental health but their own chances of survival.

If our biggest enemy in school wants to fucking off himself because of reasons I intend on discovering, then what chance do we have? Hermione thought.

Hermione Granger would not let Draco Malfoy die.

Hermione's development after Malfoy's hesitation & refusal to identify Harry would be insanely important to their relationship going forward. It would also strain her relationship with Ron. Which was already strained & nearly destroyed when he abandoned their mission.

He was a coward at that moment. But the loathsome, evil, little cockroach wasn't? Her entire worldview would likely be turned on its head by what she experienced at Malfoy Manor.

Draco showed a level of bravery & character that she never thought existed until that moment. She would draw strength from knowing he does have a good heart underneath it all. Meanwhile, her fleeting romantic feelings for Ron were getting crushed time & time again. With his decision to abandon her & Harry being the straw that broke the camel's back.

Draco Malfoy was someone who, like an unsolved mystery, kept her wanting answers. Her desire to solve the riddle that was his life leading up to that fateful day at Malfoy Manor consumed her. She needed to know why he saved The Golden Trio. He definitely got punished for being unable to identify Harry. Bellatrix is far too evil to let her dear nephew get away with anything less than a few torture sessions disguised as Death Eater training.

Hermione wouldn't let her kill the good in Draco Malfoy's heart. His heart belongs to her. And her alone.

[harryissuchalittleshit]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love

So I did six Harry Potter fics for my last one, but I’ve also written for Twilight and Percy Jackson in the past so I thought I would showcase some of my other fandom fics that I’m proud of!

Percy Jackson:

Hey Brother

This is the story of Annabeth and her second-in-command Malcolm. They have known each other for such a long time and have a very close relationship, in many ways they see each other more as actual siblings. Starting the moment they meet up to the moment when it all ends, through quests, through lasting relationships, through families made and forged in hardship, they are brother and sister.

The Homes of Leo and Calypso

This is the first ever PJO story I wrote, after HOO finished up but before TOA started and it is dated as such. I love Leo/Calypso ship and the little family I wrote for them. This is just the many ups and downs I thought they would have as they grew up and as Calypso slowly became more mortal. They move around quite a bit together and have three beautiful daughters and one mischievous little boy. I just wanted to give them a happy little ending.

Twilight:

Child’s Song

This fic got me into Twilight again, it’s basically an au in which “Bella got pregnant with Renesmee in New Moon, found the Cullens, and left her with them”. She goes on to have a life before Edward finds her and they get married and have a little boy. I hate the super fast demon pregnancy, so Renesmee and EJ are more human, tho Renesmee takes on more vampire traits as she gets older and EJ becomes more human as he grows. There’s a chapter and song for each of the four family members.

Junebug

This is the story of how Claire Young came back to La Push and fell in love with Quil Ateara after sixteen years of being separated. Claire gets to be with her family again while she falls in love with the reclusive older man, she rekindles her friendship with Renesmee, and she just gets to be a teenager while living with her Aunt Emily and Uncle Sam. She learns the Legends and her place in them. Part 3 of the Imprint Anthology.

The Angel and The One

Kim and Jared’s story in the pack, how they fell in love, how Kim learns about the imprint, how they grow up together as high school sweethearts. Kim has a lot of mental health issues, but Jared helps her heal and take care of herself. They eventually see their own happily ever after.

Also there is the story of Kati and Jay, childhood best friends that fall in love while separated because of school. They are a non-imprint imprint couple. Both of them know of the magic surrounding them, but neither of them possess it, doesn’t stop them from having a love as strong as their family members. Part 4 of the Imprint Anthology

Landslide

The Jacob/Leah story. This is probably my favorite of the bunch. Pet 5 of the Imprint Anthology, Leah is working forward from Billy’s death while Jacob is stuck back in time before his father died. Just a story about love and grieving told in alternate povs, it made me love these two as a couple and ship it even harder.

Part two is Mackenzie Black moving away to college and falling in love with someone who has no idea what they’re getting into with Mack.

[magpiefngrl]

3, 21, 28, 34 for the asks, it’s so interesting when you talk about your writing :)

Ooh thank you so much, anon! I love talking about writing but am insecure and always feel no one cares. Thanks for reassuring me <3

3. How would you describe your writing style?

And off we go with a question I don't think I can answer lol

Mentioning my strengths as a writer is easier because I rely a lot on the feedback I receive and what readers tell me. But my style in general is much harder for me to pinpoint, and I'd love to hear from readers as to what they think it's like. I've been humorous in some of my fics and more poetic and lyrical at others. I like to use metaphors. I love to write long sentences and I adorn them liberally with semicolons and colons. I guess you could say my style is baroque, or at least leans that way.

21. Can you accurately predict how long your fics are going to be? If you can, what's your secret?

Nope. I've no fucking clue. I assumed some of my longer fics would be around 10k and they were three times the length. With the shorter ones I tend to write them in one sitting so I can tell that I'm writing a 2-3k fic.

I'm trying to predict how long the original romance I'm working on is going to be. My goal is 40k, but I'm looking at the number of side characters I've created and I fear it's going to be longer than that. I prob created too many and will need to sideline a few.

That's can be a way to gauge, I suppose: the amount of secondary characters will necessitate more scenes establishing all the different relationships. More characters=a longer story. Not a hard and fast rule, but it might help.

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

My favourite question! I have a lot of Opinions on writing and I love to be given the chance to voice them.

OK so one tip that always works for me: when I'm stuck in a scene, I stop and describe the setting in detail. This might not be a big help for people who outline but for pantsers like me, it's worth giving it a try.

Say, for example, Draco is at a house party of one of his relatives, Harry's there, they don't talk. They aren't friendly. I know I want Draco to approach him but I'm stuck. He wouldn't go and just talk to him, it doesn't work for this fic. I'm stuck and can't think of how to proceed.

Then I might start typing:

"It was a splendid room, large and airy with velvet curtains that drifted in the summer night breeze. Every piece of furniture was chosen meticulously, antiques paired with design pieces, bold combinations that worked as they were intended to: to impress and intimidate. The chandelier over their heads cast light on the wine-red carpets. A painting of the lady of the Manor hung over the ornate fireplace; her stern gaze warned her guests to behave, or else. Draco had been subjected to her gaze all his life. A desire to misbehave overwhelmed him, to stick a finger up to her and her ilk, smash the delicate crystal flutes and dance on the shards.

Or he could snog Harry Potter in front of everyone. That should do it."

And I go "Oooh so that's why he approaches Harry!" I wouldn't have come up with the reason if I hadn't described the painting. This trick got me out of plenty of stuck moments, and my guess is that when I describe the setting I feel more grounded in the world of my story. I feel like I'm right in it and it's easier to imagine what happens next. I often delete some of the description--it did its job, which was to get me unstuck.

I just came up with the paragraph above and now I kinda want to write the fic lol

34. Do you write to improve? Or is that not a concern for you?

Improvement is a constant concern for me. At times it has actually been detrimental for my health because every single thing I did had to benefit my writing in some way. ("oh look pretty clouds! How would I describe them in a story?") It meant that I got no mental rest. Ever. Luckily, I've learned to take it easy.

Writing isn't the only thing that helps me improve: reading is the big one. Seeing how other authors structure their stories, construct sentences, use dialogue and setting. Also watching TV series and films makes me think about what I can learn to use on my writing.

I don't write fic to improve per se, like it's an assignment, but I do want to improve. I wantt o tell a story but I also think about the writing. Some fics are my attempts on working on a craft element. I've got a wangxian WIP which is a frame story, and I'm very keen on getting that one done.

yet another writing ask

[emmafallsinlove]

hiiii Or!! 😊🌈 sorry for the lateness, i read your reply days ago but it’s been chaos in the swiftie world lately… as you know. it’s incredible how things can change in a blink, like they have in less than a month… everything seems like a nightmare and i have mixed feelings right now 😓 so i’m trying to distance myself just a bit, but i’m glad to know we’re on the same side and to have found your new url easily!!! (thanks for that btw) also i didn’t ask you about it, but i’m aware that you’re jewish. so i just wanna say that even if i’m not, i get you and i respect you entirely and you have all my support! i really hope you’re okay, please take care of you 💕

“to leave for the hope of it all” is indeed one of my fave lyrics and such a great choice for a tattoo!!! so are you into fanfics? personally i’m more into canon books and biographies (i looove literature) but i remember reading some when i was younger and some of them are so good, they should be published! what other fandoms apart from taylor would you say you belong to or at least, other media in which you are really involved?? (i’m assuming girlmore girls, perhaps?)

ps. ofc we can be besties after this !!! i’m putting all my heart into your gift 🥰 (this ask is also a way to tell you that despite everything, i’m still 100% on it) and i’m also enjoying quite a lot knowing you better! when you find out who i am on june 6th you may be surprised, though… 🤫🤭 - 🌈

hi <3 yeah it's been crazy in the swiftie fandom lately... i've been trying to avoid it as much as i can for mental health but it hasn't been that easy because i don't want to start to unfollow people because of me staying away from everything that happens with taylor lately! don't worry about you being late this is completely okay & normal considering everything that has been going on lately.

i am into fanfics!! i think i wrote my first fanfic at age 11? i read a lot of fanfics and i actually wrote fanfics (mostly for myself lol but others can read it too)

other fandoms? well, percy jackson, the hunger games... harry potter is a classic but with everything that has been going on with rowling in the last few years i kind of stopped basing my personality or giving her / her work any attention? but i grew old on that world and in a tiny place it is very dear to me to this day but i don't care about it anymore as i used to. and also yeah gilmore girls ofc <3

oh my god i can't wait for june 6th <3 i'm very excited 🥰

[seductresses-temple]

Holding On

I know I’m late but I had a wicked migraine last night. Yesterday was @quicksilvermaid’s birthday and I wanted to write something for them because they have been such a good friend these past few months letting me talk their ear off about Drarry shit and all my WIPs. So, this one is for you, hunny! I hope you like it and I hope you had a fantastic birthday!

________________________________________

Harry swirled his scotch around in his glass, watching the amber liquid slosh up the sides. It was some Muggle brand he was unfamiliar with that tasted like shite; but he felt like shite so what did it matter? He took a long swig of it, wincing at the taste, the burn, but relishing in it all the same. It seemed to be the only thing able to cut through the heavy, wet, suffocating blanket consuming him more and more as the seconds ticked past.

“I thought I’d find you here,” Harry felt slender arms wrap around his waist and a pointy chin on his shoulder. He leaned back against Draco a little but said nothing otherwise.

“Love, come home,” Draco was pleading with him. Maybe if Harry were sober he’d make a joke about how Malfoys didn’t beg or plead or do anything other than force people into giving them what they wanted. Harry, however, was positively off his arse.

“This is no way to spend your birthday, love. Please, come home, I’m officially begging you to come home, Harry.” As if to get the point across, Draco spun Harry around slowly and the sight Harry was met with made his stomach clench. Draco’s face was red and splotchy, his grey eyes dark and dull, the whites of his eyes bloodshot. He’d been crying. Outside of his nightmares, Harry couldn’t think of the last time he’d seen Draco cry.

“Shite,” Harry whispered, pulling Draco into his arms more tightly than he meant to and inhaling a deep whiff of citrus.

“Come home, Harry,” Draco repeated, mumbling into Harry’s thick mass of raven hair. His bony fingers were clutches tightly to the back of Harry’s jacket.

“Okay,” Harry said simply, a small beam of consciousness trying to worm its way through the alcohol. He hated seeing Draco cry. Draco didn’t cry and it broke some special piece of him to know Draco had been crying over him. Draco was crying because he was hurting and it made him appreciate his boyfriend all the more.

“Take me home, love,” he whispered against Draco’s neck, letting the citrus smell that was uniquely Draco flood his senses and give him something to latch onto, something to keep him in the present.

Nodding, Draco pulled back and stood alert as Harry wobbled to his feet. Once he was standing, Draco snaked an arm around Harry’s waist and led him outside, They caught a taxi home. Neither one of them spoke in the stillness of the car, both of them preferring to listen to the cabbie ramble as they both made noncommittal noises to keep him talking. Once they arrived home, Draco led Harry to their bedroom and tenderly helped him into bed, smiling sadly at him.

“I’m an arse,” Harry mumbled face down into his pillow. “You just wanted to do something nice for my birthday and I had to go running…” he sighed, flopping around like a carp out of water until he was lying on his back, gazing up at Draco.

“It’s alright, love,” Draco brushed a few strands of hair away from his lover’s face, smiling that odd little half smile he did when Harry knew things were far from ‘alright.’

“I prolly scared you half to dea-“ Harry froze, clamping his mouth shut.

“Shh,” Draco leaned forward and kissed Harry’s forehead “let’s go to bed, love. We can talk in the morning. Everything will be a little bit better in the morning.”

Harry nodded, opening his arms and trying to suppress tears when Draco fell into him so readily, so effortlessly. They both fell into a hard, deep sleep, with Harry clutching to Draco like a life preserver.

Neither of them had anticipated just how badly Harry’s 21st birthday would go. He was officially the same age as when his parents died and it filled him with so many emotions that he felt as though he’d drown in them. Harry didn’t know what he would have done if Draco hadn’t found him, talked sense into him, brought him home. Some days, Harry didn’t know what he would do without Draco, period. He truly was his life preserver some days, keeping him afloat in the maelstrom of emotions and regrets and nightmares that bombarded him even years after the war. He’d lost so many. He’d done so many many things wrong he wished he could change. But he couldn’t change the past. It was something his Mind Healer kept stressing. Harry could only affect the present and that meant holding onto Draco tightly in all the moments he wanted to push him away. Affecting the future meant learning he was worthy of all the love Draco had to give him. Harry wanted to savor it.

So he held on. He held on for the entire night until the first rays of light touched their faces. And when he woke up, he told Draco just how much he loved him. Again, and again, and again...because love, is the greatest weapon against anything.

[malarki]

Harry Potter FanFiction I greatly enjoy (it’s just tomarry and sevitus)

Fair warning, I’m not good at describing stuff, and most of these are not complete (yet) but if you have similar tastes as I do then you’ll definitely like these stories.

Meddling of a Mischief Maker - by Athy

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5380535/chapters/12427268

I enjoy this fic because it shows a more human Voldemort with him still being an asshole as per usual. They do a good job of having Voldemort believably change into a not crazy murderous bastard haha. It also has Sirius interacting with Voldemort and for some reason I find those scenes hilarious in any fic I read.

“Harry's being a horcrux is a bit reworked here in this AU Story set during the summer after 5th year. A Mischief Maker intervenes in the Ministry during Voldemort and Dumbledore's duel, changing the course history. MorallyGrey!Dumbledore, Sirius, Restored Souls, HP/TR”

Draw Me After You (Let Us Run) - by ToAStranger @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22327684/chapters/53334382

This story is a delight, it’s tone is very good and they do a great job of writing in the characters ‘voices’ for their pov’s. I especially like the posh way Voldemort talks and acts. This story is also hilarious on top of just being a very good slowburn, AND it has Sirius, which as you might have guessed, I love dearly. They also don’t bash any of the characters, and instead make them well rounded but flawed individuals, which I really appreciate.

“Harry Potter,” comes the soft, sibilant hiss of a voice he has heard in his dreams, in his nightmares, in his waking hours for years.

Slowly, carefully, Harry twists over and pushes up onto his hands and knees. He stays there, short breath fogging in front of his face, and his pursuer lets him. Harry has no doubt of that; he’s being allowed this respite. This small moment to catch his bearings, heart pounding in his ears, blood singing.

“It seems I have finally caught you.”

Consuming Shadows - by Child_OTKW @childotkw

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7040089/chapters/16011331

I’ve read two of childOTKW’s fics and both of them are fantastically written and attention grabbing stories. This one was the first one I read, and it has a very interesting take on lily Potter (one which I really enjoy) and the plot can leave you on the edge of your seat at times. The characterization is great, and the process of Harry and Tom getting to know each other is done very well.

“His attention skipped passed the students and moved to the politicians’ pavilion. His gaze locked with crimson, and he nearly faltered under the sheer hunger in those eyes.

It unnerved him how fixated the man was on his dirtied, exhausted figure.

But what troubled him more was the slight smirk he could make out on the man’s lips. It was almost pleased.

On the night of the attack, Lily managed to escape with her infant son, but at the cost of her husband’s life. Distraught and distrusting of her friends, she fled to France with Harry, to raise him away from the corruption in Britain and the rising influence of the Dark Lord. She trains him to the best of her abilities, shaping him into a dangerous, intelligent and powerful wizard.

But when Britain re-establishes the Triwizard Tournament, and Harry is forced to return to his once-home, he finds himself questioning whether he really wants to kill the Dark Lord. Voldemort finds an unexpected challenge in the child, and as his intrigue and amusement grows, so too does the desire to possess the spark in those defiant green eyes.”

A story that is kind of similar but not really: The Train to Nowhere

You Belong To Me (I Belong To You) - by child_OTKW

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270490/chapters/25203408

This is a story inspired by the manwha ‘At The End Of The Road’ by Haribo. A comic I read before reading this, which is very good I recommend it. They do not take the exact plot from the comic though, obviously changing significant details for it to work properly as a Tomarry Fic, but one main thing stays the same, which is that this is a body swap. Honestly I really enjoy childOTKW’s works, and this is no exception. The characterization is wonderful as always, and Harry is Fantastic. Plus I’ve always been a fan of time travel fics. (Fair warning this is another slow burn and Harry centric)

“What I find absolutely fascinating,” Riddle said, stalking closer, “is you.” He marched forward, backing Harry up until he was pinned to the cool wall of the common room. “Do you know why?”

“No. And I’ll be honest here, Riddle, I don’t particularly care.”

The taller boy grinned at him, small yet infinitely pleased. “That. Right there.” One hand rose and brushed some of Harry’s fringe from his face. “Nathan Ciro was a spineless little boy too afraid of his own shadow to dare even glance in my direction. But you…”

He leaned closer, “You look at me like you want to stab me.”

“After an accident, Auror Harry Potter wakes up in the body of fourteen year old Nathan Ciro, a tormented Slytherin who recently tried to end his own life. Seeking answers to his strange predicament, Harry returns to Hogwarts, and causes quite the stir through staff and students - especially when they come to realise he is not the same boy as before.

He tries to avoid suspicion, but as his quest for the truth draws more and more attention to him, Harry begins to think that he might not like what he will discover.”

Some Bonus AU tomarry

A Thousand Paths Among The Stars - by Haplessshippo @haplesshippo

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12015060/chapters/27191238

This is a star trek au and it’s honestly my favorite tomarry au fic. Granted, I am a huge sci-fi fan. There’s also a bit of a twist at the end, or at least it surprised me, due to the way we usually expect tomarry plots to go.

“Harry Potter, newly appointed Captain of the Marauder and son of the famous Captain James Potter, was falling apart at the seams. His crew didn’t respect him, he was lost in the empty expanse of space, nightmares plagued his sleep, and his Commander deserved the Captain position more than he did. Good thing multiple attempts on his life and a vicious warlord after his head was all it took to turn it all around.

Alternatively, that space fic in which Harry Potter almost dies too many times, Tom Riddle slowly becomes the most smitten fool on the ship, and the rest of the crew are all just a bunch of assholes with popcorn watching the show. And exploding ships, don't forget the exploding ships.”

The Matchmaker - by TanninTele

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16507676/chapters/38664089

I am ALSO a huge true crime fan, and this story has a criminal that kinda reminds me of one that might appear in Hannibal (but with less murder). I enjoy the characterization, though tom is pretty tame in this compared to more cannon fics, considering he’s not the criminal and instead an investigator. Harry is also different from how people usually portray him, but I still like it.

“'The Matchmaker' is a serial abductor whose modus operandi consists of pairing two same-sex individuals together in a coffin, six feet underground - buried alive. He isn't a killer. He's a kidnapper with morals, and Detective Chief Inspector Tom Riddle finds himself obsessed with solving the case.

Unfortunately for Tom, the Matchmaker is just as intent on knowing him.”

And on to the Sevitus Stories

Far Beyond A Promise Kept - by oliversnape

https://archiveofourown.org/works/547431/chapters/974693

A classic, Harry stays with snape and unintentionally proves all his assumptions wrong and makes snape care about him. Both the stories have this aspect, but this one has snape a bit nicer from the get go. Probably because it takes place during the third book, so they’ve only known each other two years. It’s quite wholesome though, and I rather enjoy the progression of their relationship.

“Snape never wanted anyone to know of his promise to Dumbledore, but has realised that he can protect Potter much better by taking a less passive role in the boy's training. Actually liking Harry Potter has never been part of his plan. mentor/guardian.”

Crime And Punishment - by melolcatsi

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24102232/chapters/58018174

Snape and Harry have way more of a rocky start in this one, and Snape having to pick Harry up from the police station Really Doesn’t Help Snape’s opinion of him. This story very realistically shows the progression of their relationship, going from enemies to family, and near the ‘end’ (it’s not finished) it becomes very wholesome with Snape trying to help Harry with his mental and physical health after years of abuse/ neglect.

“Harry is accused of burglary. The Dursleys leave him to rot. Dumbledore sends Snape to remedy the situation. Harry finds himself in the care of an irate Snape. Not slash, gen-fic w/ focus on Sevitus relationship. Angst galore. Warnings: coarse and suggestive language, mentions of abuse/neglect. Un-betaed and un-Britpicked.”

[kidical]

anyway today is a slenderman stabbing case rant day. they do talk about the creepypastas as if they're real people TO AN EXTENT which is NOT!! A SIGN OF PSYCHOSIS THEY WERE LITERALLY 11-12!!! and the only character they talk about as if they genuinely believe are real are 1. jeff the killer (citing fake news articles ((reports mentioned in the og story)) and a piece of fanart that has a realistic drawing of jeff on a missing persons poster as proof hes real, but later saying they don't believe hes actually real anymore) and 2. slenderman (but not in the way they portrayed i don't believe they're at all scared of the concept bc they're literally trying to become "proxies" for him but they put on the facade that they're scared he'll kill their families for a lesser sentence which iirc did not work. so they did believe he was real but only in the hopeful way where they REAALLY wanted him to take them in as proxies in the epic slendermansion) but again this isn't a symptom of illness. i as an 11 year old creepypasta fan was scared to walk home in the dark because i thought jeff the killer would kill me 🙁 doesnt mean i was schizophrenic it's part of being a kid and having hyper belief in anything and everything which is another oopsie on behalf of criminal psychologists because a CLINICAL psychologist would take into account their age and differentiate from delusions caused by mental illness vs beliefs they have due to age (morgan geyser was a difficult case due to history of actual delusions and a father who had delusions of things like unicorns being real and signs from demons and things like that and so on, but morgan geyser is still different because what C.Ps diagnosed as her "delusions" were her also thinking unicorns, harry potter, slenderman and jeff the killer among other things were real which again a clinical psychologist would look at very critically and take note of the fact that these cannot be noted as delusions because of her age and thus delusions would have to be excluded off of the list of means that could be used to diagnose her which criminal psychs obviously do not know to do). it could very well be that morgan geyser is schizophrenic given that her father has a history of delusions well into his adult life, but the way they analyzed morgan and the things they used to justify the diagnosis were by no means professional or responsible because you have to be INSANELY careful diagnosing minors with schizophrenia ESPECIALLY under the age of 13 - which both of them were and its incredibly insanely rare for children under 13 to be diagnosed with schizophrenia or psychosis in clinical psychology the field trained to literally detect and diagnose illnesses at any age but somehow not so rare among criminal psychologists the field not devoted to diagnosing illnesses especially at young ages given how rare it is for children to be prosecuted for crimes because criminal psychologists ARENT CONCERNED WITH MENTAL HEALTH BUT RATHER THE CRIME!!! (and i'm not using that point as criticism criminal psychology is MADE to focus on crime but it's when they start to pretend they're something they're not.. ahem... clinical psychologists... where this becomes a mess.) aside from "delusions", the other things they used to diagnose morgan geyser with schizophrenia were as follow:

- hearing voices (plausible + her mother testified, but still not enough bc they didn't ask anyone But her mother if morgan heard voices and obviously her mother is going to do anything to protect her daughter so of course she'd be willing to lie about this)

- reported lack of empathy (THE EXAMPLE BROUGHT UP IN COURT: instead of crying when bambis mother died as a kid, she yelled "run bambi, save yourself!".. obviously not a good way to diagnose schizophrenia, nor is this a symptom of it)

- delusions (slenderman, harry potter and jeff the killer are real.. but in her interrogation she said she didnt believe in slenderman nor jeff and that it was actually her friend anissa who believed in them - and wasn't asked about harry potter)

- hallucinations (claimed to see slenderman but literally what 10 year old doesnt claim to see things that aren't there bruh i thought i saw santa when i was 11 and i was convinced of this)

- abnormal motor behavior (she exhibits this, rocking back and forth, flapping her hands and arms, snapping at the detective for asking the same questions, removing her fries from the box and placing them on the table and then eating them one at a time off of the table, pulling her arms into her sweater, dancing and swaying when left alone which is normal for children, ducking her head with bad posture, lack of eye contact when spoken to, tearing a hole into her sock while being questioned, etc etc. note that this is substantial evidence for this claim BUT... this is also a huge indicator of autism. not just schizophrenia.)

- recreating the slenderman pages in her notebook, the ones with crude scribbled drawings of slenderman and words like "NO ESCAPE", "RUN AWAY", "HE COMFORTS ME", "HELP ME" and more on them. the investigators do not know shes recreating the infamous pages in the game and rather think this is her expressing her thoughts and monsters she sees

- looking up and taking quotev quizzes that have titles along the lines of "what type of insane am i" as well as other murder and creepypasta related quizzes. quotev. the site you see "WHOS MY CREEPYPASTA BOYFRIEND?" quizzes. yeah. that was used to diagnose her with schizophrenia yall!

- looking up "slenderman cute". no really. that for real was used as well!

- other drawings in her notebook which include but are not limited to: her creepypasta ocs, kitty and i think one was named dolly or something, a drawing of her creepypasta oc going "I LOVE KILLING PEOPLE", a drawing of jeff the killer, a drawing of jeff the killer lunging into slender man's arms with slenderman blushing and emitting a heart in a thought bubble and jeff sweating anime style like hes scared of something as well as a drawing of slenderman carrying various creepypastas with his tendrils including ticci toby going "hey masky hey masky hey masky" and "waffles"

ill let you decide for yourself whether this is a legitimate way of conducting research on whether or not a murderous 12 year old girl is mentally ill with schizophrenia

[crimsonwolfie]

A Love Like In The Movies - Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Prompt: You (the reader) have had a crush on Stiles, your best friend, since forever. Only...he likes the popular girl, Lydia...or so you thought.

Warnings: tinges of sadness, loneliness and a hint of heartbreak...but a ton of fluff :)

Word count: 3,071

masterlist

You tug at your bag, shoving about 3 books in at once in an attempt to be out of class as soon as the bell rings. Walking with your head down and hands clasping your bag up, you harshly bump into the new kid Henry, knocking him to the floor along with all his books and your papers....clearly you never remembered why your nickname was ‘Wobbly Whittmore’.

“Oh my gosh, i’m so sorry!” You utter with one hand on your mouth and the other helping him up off the floor. He stares up at you with a dazed look and a small smirk, watching you help scramble up his papers and books.

“It’s chill, don’t worry”

You look up at him with a shy smile, clearly embarrassed for your clumsiness. “It’s not, honestly i’m so sorry. You haven’t even been here for a week and already you’ve been practically beaten up..” you shake your head “that usually happens at least 3 months in” you wink at him, laughing lightly. Henry laughs back whilst collecting more papers from the floor.

As you both sigh, your hands collide briefly. It was just for a moment...but it made you feel something. At first it was shock, but then something you’ve wanted to feel for so long...just with someone else...Stiles. Henry’s eyes dart up at you, his cheeks heating up slightly.

“I...sorry i should get going” he quickly adverts his gaze and gets up, picking up what’s in his hands “how many people can say they’ve encountered the nice Whittmore in their first week, huh?”

“Oh god you know about my brother already?” you huff, handing him his books “Some friendly advice since you’re obviously a decent guy...stay far away from him.” You laugh, once again feeling embarrassed for being related to...well...Jackson.

“Yeah he has a...well...a reputation so to speak. Thanks again, see you around, Y/N”

“Later Henry!”

Walking through the halls you can’t help but think of Stiles. He’s adorable, cute, beautiful, funny, smart, geeky but in the best way, kind, gentle...the list quite literally goes on forever. But in all the time you’ve known him...he’s always liked Lydia. The girl who your brother used to date. Since they broke up, Stiles has never been so smitten. Sure, she’s gorgeous and actually really nice...but she’s who he likes...she’s not you. I mean, you never know...he could like you. You’ve never actually mentioned it to him. But then if you do, and he turns you down, you’d be crushed... completely!

“Hey Y/N!” Stiles appears from around the corner of the lockers, making you jump a little.

“Jesus Stiles, don’t do that!” You hiss as you hold your hand over your heart. He throws his head back giggling. ‘God how cute he looks when he’s happy’ the little voice in your head says.

“You up for a movie marathon after school? I got your favourites...” he moves closer

“Harry Potter?!” You squeal, clapping your hands together 

“Only the best for the best” he smiles with all teeth showing. You silently fist pump the air as he holds his hand out for you to high five him, which you do. Your hands hover in the air, skin hot to the touch, until he breaks apart and places his hands in his pockets.

“I’ll go and find Scott and ask if he’s in. Knowing him, he’ll want to bring Allison and with Allison comes...”

“Lydia” you sigh

“Yes! She’s just so brilliant, isn’t she?” Stiles hummed, his face cheeky and merry like a child eating ice cream. You tried to hide the hurt with a faint smile, because seeing Stiles so happy just warmed your heart. You didn’t want to be the one to ruin it.

“What’s up Y/N/N?” Stiles’ smile faded into a frown, concern painted across his perfectly honeyed eyes. Seeing this, you can practically feel your heart drop.

You fiddle with the rings on your fingers as your soft Y/H/C hair slips in front of your face. “What? No...nothing. Rough day that’s all-”

“HEY Y/N” You look up to see Henry running towards you with one arm stretched out towards you, the other holding his bag strap. “You left this, when we spoke earlier” he hands you a pile of papers, all with your name on.

“Oh, my god...I’d be totally screwed if I didn’t have this for tomorrow’s math class. I’m so sorry. They must have got mixed up with your papers” you take the papers out of his hand and shove them into your bag, smiling shyly at both boys staring at you. “Thanks Henry, you saved my math grade” you laugh, causing Henry to blush and bite his lip ever so subtly, placing his hand on your arm and squeezing it playfully.

“No worries, Y/N. I’ll see you around” he winks at you, earning a frown from Stiles. 

“Who’s that geezer?” He remarks, his face furrowed with a mix of both dislike and anger. Little did you know, Stiles didn't like seeing other guys flirt with you. He began to feel this deep pit in his stomach, his blood beginning to boil. 

You turn to face Stiles, pushing your hair back behind your ear. Sheepishly you pat him on the shoulder “i’ll see you at 3? Parking lot?”

“Yeah, sure.” He replies hesitantly, fidgeting with the rim of his flannel. You notice something’s got him wound up but decide it’s probably just him nervous to spend time with Lydia and continue to walk down the hall, making your way to health class.

━━━━━━━━

All throughout the rest of your classes for the day, you just felt empty. Nothing but heartbreak, emptiness, loneliness. Thoughts of him and Lydia snuggling up in blankets whilst eating popcorn and watching the movie kept bubbling around your brain. You tried to snap out of it, but nothing would work. You thought about just cancelling on the meet after school, knowing it would be way less painful. ‘They probably wouldn’t even notice I'm gone’ you thought. Your mind was like a prison that you couldn't escape...

“this must have been what Sirius Black felt like for 12 years” you mutter under your breath, not caring who heard. Sounds of faint chattering, pencils scribbling and the monotone voice of Mrs Rawlings can be heard around you, but none of it distracts your train of thoughts. Just begging for some sort of peace, you crash your head into your arms on the table.

“Hey, Y/N” you felt a gentle nudge on your forearm and look up to see Scott staring down at you, his hand on your arm. “What’s up with you dude? And who’s Sirius Black?”

You sigh with an overly dramatic eye roll, unwillingly plucking up enough strength to say once again that you’re ‘fine just a bit tired that’s all’...

“Tired.” is all you can spit out before shoving your head back into your arms. Little did you know, Scott could sense what you were feeling...I mean you didn't lie - he sensed tiredness...just mentally. Along with hurt, pain and loneliness.

“You sure? Well maybe after school you’ll feel better. Say, d’you reckon Allison likes...I don’t know...flowers? I... I was going to get her a bunch before I pick her up to go to Stiles’” You felt your tears drop into your sleeves, soaking both your jumper and your face as Scott continued. “Do girls like flowers? I’d ask Lydia but I'm closer with yo...”

“Yeah flowers whatever.” you mutter without lifting your head up. Scott scrunched his face, his brows furrowing. Usually, you were so much more supportive and excited for him - heck you were even more excited than him when you found out about him and Allison! You guys always told each other everything. ‘Something is definitely going on’ he thought to himself. He decided it was best to not say much more right now since he was already on a report in Mrs Rawlings’ class.

Just as Scott was about to hand you a note in class, the final bell rang. Instantly you popped up and grabbed your books, practically sprinting out of the door. Scott tried to stop you, but was called behind class by the teacher. You knew he was going to follow you, that's why you ran. No matter what, he couldn't see you like this, otherwise he wouldn’t drop it and would demand to know who hurt you - how could you tell him it was his own best friend?! As you’re jogging, you bump into the one person you wanted to avoid...

“Woah, slow down there cowgirl” Stiles holds your shoulders with his hands, his grip firm and comforting. He takes one look at you and notices your wet, blotchy eyes. You hang your head low in an attempt to hide your face from him...clearly it doesn't work.

“Hey, hey, hey! What’s up? Who hurt you?! his smile fades drastically upon seeing the state you were in. Obviously you weren't going to tell him, so you just decide to make up something...

“I failed my health class for the semester”

“Y/N it’s not the end of the world, you can always retake!” he sighs

You turn over to him with your hands in the air, shaking your head. “No you don’t un...you know what, Stiles? I can’t come over later. I’m sorry.” 

He steps back in surprise, both hands leaving your shoulders and grabbing his bag straps around his arms. Suddenly, you feel angry at him...though you instantly regret snapping at him. “i...I’m sorry” is all you can stutter as you run out the door, leaving Stiles standing there wondering what he did wrong, for what felt like hours, until Scott saw him.

“dude what're you doing? We got a marathon to start” he smacks Stiles on the back full pelt, leaving Stiles to stumble a bit.

“Have you spoken to Y/N today?” he asks, his voice trembly, quiet.

“Of course I have. Why, haven’t you?” The alpha replies

“No I have, it’s just...she was upset and i tried to help but she just...” he trails off   as Scott steps closer, Stiles’ eyes dull.

“She just what?” he asks, his voice calm and gentle

“She said she failed health class...”

“Wait, no that's not true - I got pulled behind class today because Mrs Rowlings wants me to have a tutor for health class and suggested Y/N since she’s acing everything!?” Scott explained. Stiles jerked his head, brows furrowing once again.

“Wait what?” his hand flew to his forehead as he leaned against the lockers beside him. “She snapped at me. I think I did something, Scotty...but I don’t know what. She’s been distant for a while now ever since Jackson and Lydia broke up, and I mean I know that her brother hates us but I just didn't think Y/N would choose her brother over us or me and i...”

“Stiles, stop.” Scott grabs both of Stiles’ shoulders and makes direct eye contact with him. “Listen, okay? I think I know what’s up”

“You do?” Stiles’ eyes brightened insantly. He knew something was wrong with his best friend and he knew he would do anything to fix that.

“She likes you, dude. Really likes you. And I thought you would have figured that out by now...she’s always doodling your name in class and covers it whenever someone passes by. Plus, she talks about you all the time.” Scott understood why you had been distant, and he didn’t blame you.

Stiles’s cheeks flushed a bright shade of red as a smile began appearing. His heart started pounding quicker than Quicksilver in the X-Men films, butterflies swarming around his stomach and ribcage. “Seriously? Then why is she distancing herself from me?”

“Because she still thinks you’re in love with Lydia...her heartbeat quickens when she’s with you, or when you guys touch in some way” Scott’s tone becomes more serious, which is unusual for Scott. Typically, he’s always goofy around Stiles so clearly he meant what he was about to say next... “But when you’re with Lydia, her mood changes. I can sense it...It’s sort of sad, lonely...” his face melts just thinking of all the times he’s felt that same pain. “You gotta tell her how you feel, Stiles. Tonight.”

“But I can’t...she’s not coming!” Stiles replies with a croaky voice.

“Then you go to her!” Scott replies, his eyes wide with hope and his hands pressing on Stiles’ back, pushing him towards the door “go now, dude!” Stiles picks up his pace and jogs to the door, one hand gripping his bag strap and the other fiddling with his keys in his pocket. “And let me know how it goes” Scott shouts as Stiles leaves the building.

━━━━━━━━

As you reach your front door, you feel a tear trickle down your cheek. All you could think of was Stiles. How he would, at this moment, be snuggling and giggling with Lydia. You have nothing against her, in fact you are actually really fond of her, but it breaks your heart to know you aren't the one who can make the boy you love, fall for you. A pain runs through your chest as you slam the door shut, your breathing wheezing. Leaning against the door, you slide down...completely breaking down.

“Why doesn’t he look at me that way?” you mutter to yourself, head in arms as your cheeks soak into your sleeves. “All I've ever done is try and make him happy, try and make him realise how incredible he is...and he still doesn't see me the same way”

Nose sniffling, eyes red, head fuzzy, hands shaking and top wet...you get up. ‘You did the best thing. It was the right decision to stay home’ you think, knowing it would have just ruined your friendship if you told him how you felt. And anyway, you wanted him to be happy. And clearly, that wasn't with you...

You ran upstairs and changed into a comfy pair of joggers and an oversized top, chucking your slippers on and grabbing a blanket before heading back downstairs. If you couldn't join their movie night - you’d have your own! 

Snacks and a drink were sitting on the table beside you on the sofa, with the television on ready and curtains closed. Just as you had got yourself in a comfy position, the doorbell rang. You grunted, kicking the blanket off your legs and dragging yourself towards the front door. Opening it, you felt your breath escape you. It was Stiles, standing at the door, with a bouquet of beautiful flowers in his hands. His hair was messy as if he’d run his fingers through it a thousand times, his cheeks were flushed brighter and pinker than bubblegum, looking as if he was out of breath from rushing somewhere. You go to say something, but before you had the chance, Stiles speaks, “Hi! I uh....I didn’t know whether you were mad at me or whether you were just having a rough day but it seemed like you were mad at me so I wanted to see if you were okay and uh...I got you these” His arms stretched to give you the flowers, his face ridden with nerves. You looked down at the flowers and then back up to Stiles’ face.

“Why would you think i was mad at you?” You questioned, brows furrowing at the confusion of what was happening. “These are gorgeous, thanks Stiles” you coo with a smile on your face, taking the flowers from Stiles’ hands. As you grab them, your hands touch Stiles’, causing your cheeks to flush and your heart to flutter. Stiles’ own cheeks flushed at the touch of your hands, too.

“You seem distant with me lately. And Scott told me why...” he begins, fingers fidgeting with the rim of his checkered shirt “I like Lydia...” he trails off.

Upon hearing these words, you feel your heart drop. Mouth dry and sadness creeping into your mind, you feel clouded with emotions and thoughts. Why would Stiles come over, give you flowers and then declare his love for Lydia? “Yeah I kno...” you begin until he cuts you off,

“She’s my friend. And she’s amazing...but she doesn’t wait for me after classes. She doesn’t call me to check in once in a while. She doesn’t do anything in her power to make sure I'm happy or know I'm loved...” his beautiful brown eyes stared lovingly into yours, your heart lifting and beating faster with each sentence he says...

“She doesn’t know me, and I mean the real me...the one who suffers with anxiety, who needs a nightlight and needs constant reassurance on even the simplest things” you smirk at the mention of a nightlight because, well, you were the one who actually got it for him...because you knew he wasn't doing too good. “She is my friend, Y/N, but she isn’t my best friend. And I like her, but I don’t love her...because I love you. It’s always been you”

There’s a soft wind that blows between you both, causing you to shiver and shake with both excitement and chills. Stiles’ eyes glittered in the sunlight like an ocean surface in summer, tears welling in them. You bit your lip which trembled with an overcoming emotion of happiness as you leant forward and grabbed him, cupping his face in your soft hands and bringing your lips to his in a desperate yet passionate way. Feelings of euphoria and desire filled both of your hearts like a fire burning bright, lips moving sweetly in sync as in destined for one another. His hands wrap around your waist as you bring your hands through his hair. Nothing felt more perfect than this moment...all your worries gone and your heart fuller than ever before because the boy who holds your heart, who has held your heart for years, is finally in your arms. Stiles’ warmth radiates onto your cheeks as you smile into the kiss, earning a smile from Stiles, too. Breaking away to breathe, you both look down and giggle, hands intertwining with Stiles rubbing circles on your palm with his thumb.

You look up at him, smiling, as you speak “I...I love you too”. Stiles coos as he pulls you closer to him to break the gap now between you both, “I gathered” he laughs, kissing the top of your forehead affectionately. “So, how about that marathon?”

Hope you guys like it! x

[asirensrage]

Caught in the Crossfire - 2/53

Title: Caught in the Crossfire Rating: M Pairings: Michelle (OC) x Sam side pairing: Kelly (OC) x Dean Fandom: Supernatural. Includes characters from BtvS, The Darkest Powers Series by Kelley Armstrong, True Blood, Veronica Mars, X-Men, Harry Potter Warnings: PTSD, trauma, violence, murder, loss of time, demonic possession, mentions of starvation, anger, slow burn, learning to fight and survive Summary: Takes place during s5. Michelle was just trying to gain some semblance of normality. She didn’t expect to be a part of a fail-safe for the apocalypse. Reuniting with her best friend who should be dead, she struggles with trying to survive this world while being forced into a position that has her taking care of others who also don’t belong. She just wants to go home.

Note: this chapter is from Kelly's POV. It's the only one in this fic. You can find more of Kelly's POV and others, in Freed by the Crossfire on ffn and ao3.

also on ffn and ao3

Chapter 2: Porch Talks (Kelly's POV)

There is no death only a change of worlds. - Chief Seattle

      It was just after sunset and I was sitting on the back deck of Bobby’s with a glass of whiskey in my hands, the rest of the half-full bottle beside me. I felt awkward asking Bobby to drink his booze but was pleasantly surprised when he told me to take the whole bottle. I guess he could see in my face that one glass wouldn’t do the trick.

         As the last of the daylight slipped away, my mind wandered. Part of me knew I should be more freaked out but I was oddly calm about my circumstances. I had spent most of the day being grilled by the boys and Bobby about my arrival here and the world I’d come from. It was a welcomed distraction from worrying about Michelle’s health, both physical and mental. I started to pour more into my glass when I heard the door open and close behind me, followed by footsteps that stopped beside me. From the corner of my eye, a well-worn work boot appeared. I followed it up a leg clad in beaten denim, to find Dean standing over me.

         “Mind if I join?” He waved an empty glass above my head before sitting down on the steps beside me. I passed him the bottle and he silently poured himself a generous glass. He took a long drink, watching me over the rim. “Did you know the silent staring is seriously unsettling?”

         I snapped out of my apparent stare, “sorry, I didn’t realize I was even doing it. I guess I’ve been doing it a lot, eh?”

         Dean laughed, “eh. Sorry. Hah. Guess you weren’t lying about being Canadian.” 

         I smiled back, “Nope. Sorry about the staring.”

         Dean laughed again, and I realized I’d dropped another sorry. I was being pretty damn Canadian. 

         “I keep forgetting people can actually see me. Before, I could stare at someone and zone out completely. No one could see me, so I seem to be missing the normal social cues of when to stop now.” 

         “You’ll figure it back out. Besides, we have Cas around, so we’re used to weird social ticks.” Dean grabbed the bottle and topped up my glass. We lapsed back into silence for a few minutes before he broke it again. “So, can I ask? What was it like being a ghost in your world that long?”

         It was my turn to take a long drink. I wanted to repress the last years. “Lonely.”

         “Lonely?” Dean raised his brow, giving me a look to continue.

         “Yeah and frustrating. I never encountered any other ghosts like me. Years of having no one to talk to. To help me understand why I was still around. Lonely. Helpless. I could see things happening, but couldn’t do anything to help anyone. Watching family and friends mourn you? It’s heartbreaking. I tried everything to show them I was still there, but couldn’t.” 

         I downed more of my drink and Dean wordlessly refilled it. I felt the warmth of the whiskey spread in my chest, and the compulsion to keep talking.

         “Being here. Being human. I’m happy, but I feel so fucking guilty to be happy while I see Michelle struggle. Happy.” I snorted and shook my head. “How fucked up is that?”

         “Not fucked up. You’re human. You’re not alone. Sounds like a good reason to be happy to me.” Dean gave me a half-hearted smile.

         “I was at that diner. I saw the aftermath of the demon that attacked Michelle. I didn’t know she was there at the time. She’s struggling, and dealing with that trauma, and I’m over here. Happy.” I raised my glass in a mock cheer before taking another long drink.

         “We’re going to help her, and you. Make this right. You have my word.” I looked at him making eye contact. He looked so sincere, I felt a new calmness wash over me.

         “I don’t even know what helping me looks like. I don’t want to go back to my world, not to be a ghost again.”

         “Then Sammy and I will help you make a life here, once this is all...sorted.”  He knocked my knee with his and smiled. A life here was a lot to consider. I would be human again. If Michelle could go home though, I’d still be alone, in a world where monsters were real, but at least I would be alive. 

         “Thank you. Can we keep this between us, for now? I need to be strong for Michelle, and whenever that day comes, if that opportunity comes, I don’t want her to know what my choice would be.”

         “Absolutely.”

         I wanted to change gears. Thinking too far in the future was bound to get my hopes up. Knowing this world, demons, angels and monsters, I could be dead again before I had a chance at another future. I drank more and Dean did the same. We lapsed into silence again, staring out at the scrap yard ahead of us.

         “Do you know how long she’ll be out with what Castiel did?” 

         “Cas said a couple of days. She’s in rough shape. He said he fixed the physical injuries, but the mental stuff...well even angels have their limits.” 

         I hadn’t seen Michelle in over a year in my world. The woman I saw here was not the same by a long stretch. Gaunt and haunted, I was still surprised I had recognized her in the panic room. My mind flipped back to the scene at the diner again. All that blood. The smell of burnt flesh…

         “You’re staring again” 

         I snapped out of my train of thought and realized I’d been staring directly at Dean. He didn’t seem bothered by it, probably used to it from Cas. “Thanks. Sorry again”.

         This earned me another half-smile, “stop being so Canadian.”

         I laughed a genuine laugh and felt a little of the weight lift off my chest. Dean grabbed the bottle to pour more for both of us, and we both realized it was nearly empty. Seeing the bottle so empty I recognized a feeling I hadn’t experienced in a long time. “Uh oh.”     “I’m sure Bobby has more.” Dean stood up to head back into the house, but I stopped him by grabbing his pant leg.

         “No, not that. I haven’t had a drink in years, and now I had a few glasses of straight whiskey. On a mostly empty stomach. I think I’m drunk.”

         Dean laughed “okay, lightweight.” He offered a hand and pulled me up. I swayed slightly as my world refocused, and he steadied me with a hand on my waist. My mind focused on the touch. Another thing I missed as a ghost was human touch. It felt so good. I must have been staring at his hand as he moved it and mumbled an apology.

         “I think I should go to bed. After I chug some water.” 

         “Probably a good idea.” Dean motioned for me to lead the way back into the house. 

         I grabbed a glass of water and said goodnight to everyone. I stumbled up the stairs and headed up to the bedroom to pass out.

         It was the second day at Bobby’s and I was sitting on the porch again. I had spent part of the day reading, but soon realized I couldn’t help much with research, given a lot of it was in Latin. Jane was staying in the basement to keep watch over Michelle and I was restless. I didn’t know what else to do but sit outside. Feeling the sun on my face, and enjoying being human again felt like the only thing I could do. 

         “We have to stop meeting like this.” Dean sat down on the step beside me, two beers in hand. He cracked one open and passed it to me before opening his own.

         “Trying to get me drunk again?” I smiled as I took a swig of the ice-cold beer. 

         “Seems like you might have needed it, but figured you wouldn’t want to look at whiskey right now.”

         He wasn’t wrong. I’d woken up that morning with a pounding headache and a rolling stomach. “I did not miss hangovers as a ghost.”

         “Little hair of the dog, and you’ll be fine.” I was silent but could feel Dean watching me, assessing. “Cas says Michelle seems better. She could wake up soon.” 

         “That’s good. Any luck with the research?”

         “Nothing solid yet. Cas is back out looking for more, like you guys.”

         “Bobby will love that. More of us crammed in his space.” 

         “We’re working on that too.” Dean turned to lean against the porch post facing me. “So, you said we’re a TV show where you’re from, huh?”

         I appreciated the change in topic and smiled, “yeah, very loyal...but small following.” 

         Dean nodded his head smiling, “loyal you say?”

         “Yup, some fans even have the tattoo.” I nodded my head at his chest.

         “Do you?” Dean’s eyes scanned what skin I had visible and I felt myself blush. Blushing was another thing I did not miss when I was a ghost.                  “No! But now that I’m here...well seems like we should probably work on that sooner than later.”

         “We can figure that out when Michelle is awake. For now, Bobby probably has some spare charms around if you’re worried.” Dean looked out over the scrap yard, “so you’ve seen it all?”

         “Well, what a 40-minute show would show. Enough for us to know you two have literally been to hell and back and all that in between. Enough to know that what we’re facing is terrifying and we should be scared shitless.”

         “I never got why people read the books, and I really don’t get why people would want to watch us. This.” Dean motioned at himself and the house.

         I smirked, “well, a lot of fans don’t watch for the plot.” 

         He looked over at me alarmed but then amused. “And you?” 

         “I was always a horror fan, but I definitely watched for more than the plot.” I smiled while internally freaking out that I just admitted to Dean my attraction to both him and his brother. I quickly added, “besides, the family dynamics. The brotherly bond. That’s what really kept me, and Michelle, hooked.”

         “Did you have siblings?” Dean was still staring at me, a slight smile on his lips.

         “A brother. Not close like you and Sam.” I paused, allowing myself a moment to think about my family, “I was supposed to be an aunt, but died before that happened. I was there for the birth, but not.” 

         “I’m sorry.” 

         “Can’t change the past. I’m thankful I could still experience some of it. Before it got too hard. I eventually took off and decided to do some sightseeing. The show films in Canada.”

         “Canada? Seriously? Sam and I have barely gone to Canada. Little hard crossing borders.”

         “Yeah. Well, the show is shot in Vancouver, but based in the US, like you really are. I’d never been far beyond my home alive, always too expensive to fly on my budget. As a ghost though? No restrictions. I saw a lot I wouldn’t have seen alive. Quickly realized it wasn’t the same though. You can’t touch things. Experiences are muted. You don’t feel the ocean breeze on your face, you can’t breathe in the crisp air of the mountains.” 

         Dean gave me an indescribable look, something playing behind his eyes. “So you’re human now. We settle all this, you can go anywhere. Where do you go?”

         It was an innocent question. Probably also Dean trying to figure out where he and Sam could dump me if we all survived this. It was also a question about a future I was actively trying not to think of, or more accurately, hope for. My face fell and I suddenly fought back tears. I could see Dean watching me closely. I swallowed and took a deep breath to attempt to steady myself. I knew my voice would be shaky when I spoke. I decided to do what I always did when things got serious. Joke. “Maybe Disneyworld. I could work at the haunted mansion. I’ve got the resume for being a ghost.” 

         Dean laughed, his laugh lines pronounced, probably relieved he didn’t have to deal with a girl breaking down into tears. “I haven’t been to Disney ever. Sam and I always joke about it, but never made it happen.”

         “Well, saving the world tends to be more pressing than riding teacups.” I could still hear the tremble in my voice but was getting it under control.

         Dean opened his mouth, about to ask another question when Jane appeared at the screen door.

“She is awake.”

taglist: @raith-way @arrthurpendragon @zeleniafic @jvstjewels @veetlegeuse @chickensarentcheap @booty-boggins @residentdormouse @delicateblackrose @stanshollaand @cantfighthemoonknight @wordspin-shares @chrissymunson