#horrible goose fest 2024

[horriblegoosefest]

A Design For Life

By: @Maesterchill Paring(s): Drarry Rating: E Word Count: 76,887 Warnings/Content: Implied/referenced sexual assault, terrorist attack, implied/referenced monsterfucking Goose:

Tags:

enemies to lovers, time travel, hogwarts eighth year, post-hogwarts, depressed Harry Potter, magical accidents, drinking games, talismans, magical empathy perfume, potions, sex pollen, implied/referenced terrorism, doppelganger, the ministry of magic is corrupt (Harry Potter), auror corruption (Harry Potter), safehouses, captivity, prison, implied/referenced sexual assault, terrorist attack, minor character death, drugs, drug addiction, coma, magical theory (Harry Potter), magical artifacts, ley lines, magaliths, road trip, ireland, boat trip, Gilderoy Lockhart the self insert writer, Pebble Potter (OC), minor Draco Malfoy/Gregory Goyle, Greg Goyle is good at sharing, implied/referenced monsterfucking, bathing/washing, adventure, mystery, on the run, runes, rituals, race against time, wanking, sex, ancient magic, getting together, brief suicidal thoughts, angst and fluff and smut, angst with a happy ending

Summary:

Harry Potter doesn't want to become an Auror. And Draco Malfoy would quite like to stay alive and out of harm’s way. Neither have any desire whatsoever to time-travel into the future, especially not with each other. But fate? Well, she has other plans.

A honk of appreciation from goose @citrusses:

You are not prepared for this time-traveling, mind-bending romance from the incredible Maesterchill! This is a fast-paced fic fueled by page-turning* (*browser-scrolling) action that still finds time to be packed with humour, scorching sex, and incredible character development. Harry's narration is pitch-perfect: the way he feels about Draco evolves from such a wonderfully prickly resentment (not to mention finding him frustratingly gorgeous) to something absolutely soul-consuming. I had such a wonderful time watching Maester build this magnum opus, and I am so excited for the rest of you to experience it!

[bridenore]

HP Horrible Goose Fest 2024 recs

Here are some of my favorite fics from the 2024 HP Horrible Goose Fest. Listed in alphabetical order.

A Design For Life by MaesterChill [76k]

Harry Potter doesn't want to become an Auror. And Draco Malfoy would quite like to stay alive and out of harm’s way. Neither have any desire whatsoever to time-travel into the future, especially not with each other. But fate? Well, she has other plans.

Pubic Relations by Andithiel [22k]

“Potter, do you trust me?” Potter barks out a surprised laugh. “You? Not a bit. Your professionalism? Yeah, maybe.” “Why, Potter!” Draco says and brings a hand to his heart. “That was almost a marriage proposal!” Potter just shakes his head, snorting. He draws a hand through his messy hair, and it’s not sexy at all the way his biceps flex, the way he’s more relaxed now, comfortable in Draco’s presence. The corners of his mouth twitch; it’s barely visible, but Draco notices. “Fuck, this is going to be a hell of a ride, isn’t it?” Reluctantly, Draco feels his lips stretch into a grin. “You don’t even know the half of it,” he drawls. “Buckle up, Potter.”

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[drarryspecificrecsdaily]

2024.09.21

Complete fics posted on AO3 this day

1. A Ferret’s Sensibility by @smehur [T, 6k]

Harry was still holding the ferret when Professor McGonagall cast a wordless spell on it, and he only understood what that meant after she had already escaped the room and closed the door behind her. Harry’s hands were full of Draco Malfoy. A naked Draco Malfoy.

2. Unholy by BlousyBella [E, 3k]

Mommy don’t know Draco’s getting hot, down at the body shop - doing something unholy.

---

Fest/Exchange

1. The Gray in Your Eyes by Etteee [T, 8k]

[...] Malfoy smiled, and Harry didn’t understand why it made him a bit dizzy. "I know, Harry." ★ HP Horrible Goose Fest 2024 | @horriblegoosefest

[horriblegoosefest]

HONK

With twelve incredible works the inaugural HP Horrible Goose Fest has come to a close. Thank you to everyone who created, goosed, hyped and encouraged this fest. We have had so much fun, and are so proud of the hard work put in by our creators.

Without further ado, see below for the Masterlist for HP Horrible Goose Fest 2024. You can also find the full collection here.

My Roommate is a Cow by @waterfalls-moon Drarry, G, 899 + art

What We Fought For by @skywatcherrose Minerva McGonagall/Poppy Pomfrey, M, 23.1k

Fragile Development by @amethystheart2421 Regulus Black/Remus Lupin, M, 28.8k

Stormy Weather by @mintawasalreadytaken Drarry, M, 17.3k

I Think You Can In Europe by @gallifrey1sburning Drarry, T, 17.8k

To Build A Bower by @eveningstruggle Hermione/Draco, T, 8,7k

A Purr'fect Coincidence by @sybilevergreen Hermione/Draco, E, 9.2k

Pubic Relations by @andithiel Drarry, E, 22.6k

The Gray in your Eyes by @etteishere Drarry, T, 8.2k

Potter and Associates Inc. by @daniskatra Harry/Severus, E, 39.6k

A Design For Life by @maesterchill Drarry, E, 76.9k

My Grandparents House by @annanother-thing Drarry, E, 192.7k

A huge thanks also goes to our wonderful Geese, you honked and encouraged and (lovingly) pestered, and this fest wouldn't have happened without you.

[horriblegoosefest]

Pubic Relations

By: @andithiel Paring(s): Drarry Rating: E Word Count: 22,677 Warnings/Content: No Archive Warnings Apply Goose: @nv-md

Tags:

EWE, PR Manager Draco Malfoy, Quidditch Player Harry Potter, Seeker Harry Potter, Coming Out, The Daily Prophet are Dickheads, Snark, Banter, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Sexual Tension, Kissing, Blow Job, Rimming, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, First Time Bottoming, Denial of Feelings, Emotionally Constipated Draco, Getting Together

Summary:

“Potter, do you trust me?” Potter barks out a surprised laugh. “You? Not a bit. Your professionalism? Yeah, maybe.” “Why, Potter!” Draco says and brings a hand to his heart. “That was almost a marriage proposal!” Potter just shakes his head, snorting. He draws a hand through his messy hair, and it’s not sexy at all the way his biceps flex, the way he’s more relaxed now, comfortable in Draco’s presence. The corners of his mouth twitch; it’s barely visible, but Draco notices. “Fuck, this is going to be a hell of a ride, isn’t it?” Reluctantly, Draco feels his lips stretch into a grin. “You don’t even know the half of it,” he drawls. “Buckle up, Potter.”

A honk of appreciation from goose Ali:

It was such a joy to see Andithiel write this fic, and I feel beyond lucky that I got to read it from start to finish. There’s so much to love about this fic: the humor and banter, the UST, Draco and Pansy’s friendship, Harry’s prickliness, just to name a few. It’s funny and sweet and hot and I can’t recommend it enough. I promise it will bring a smile to your face! 

[horriblegoosefest]

H-O-N-K, we will finish a wip today! 

H-O-N-K, write it or I won't go away! 

The inaugural Horrible Goose Fest is here! This fest will match creators with their own personal goose - someone who will check in, encourage and (lovingly) hound the creator as they finish a work-in-progress.

As a creator, you would be committing to finish a current WIP - be that a fic, artwork or podfic - that is not already part of another fest. 

As a goose, you will be required to regularly check in with your creator, providing encouragement and accountability as they finish their work. A goose is not expected to be an alpha or beta, however they can if they choose to.

Timeline

Creator and Goose sign ups open: March 15

Creator signups close: March 29 or until creator cap has been reached

Goose signups close: April 3

Works due: July 29

For further information please find our FAQ and Rules

Everyone is invited to join our discord

We can’t wait to see what you’re working on!

Your Mods,

@geesenoises, @thehoneybeet, @apricitydays-lazynights and @basicallyahedgehog

[horriblegoosefest]

Stormy Weather

By: @mintawasalreadytaken Paring(s): Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Rating: M Word Count: 17,459 Warnings/Content: Creator chose not to use archive warnings Goose: @dryrsheet

Tags:

Angst, substance abuse, power imbalance, sexual content, suicidal thoughts, roleplay, under-negotiated kink, number twelve grimmauld place

Summary:

One way of hurting a person is by holding them still. By being there. By saying, "I'll never leave you," and meaning it.

A honk of appreciation from goose JD:

Grace's prose style is gorgeous and physical. there are so many lines in this fic that made me have to stop and just luxuriate in the imagery she uses, and her metaphors and stylistic layout are like a sucker punch. the story itself is deliciously layered with implications and an unsettling awareness all the way through. we know it's wrong; harry knows it's wrong; some deeper, worse crime is lurking the entire time; and it is still so, SO very sexy. maraschino syrup flavored messy sex and uncoordinated decoration hide the real filth beneath. 

[horriblegoosefest]

Hold onto your feathers, because HP Horrible Goose Fest posting is here!

Our geese have been honking, our creators have been working so hard, and we are so excited to share these works with you.

Works will be posted on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday until the end of the month - however this may change in the case of any unseen circumstances.

Without further ado, grab your favourite beverage and a snack and make yourself comfortable, because you won't want to put these down!

[horriblegoosefest]

The Gray In Your Eyes

By: @etteishere Paring(s): Drarry Rating: T Word Count: 8,202 Warnings/Content: No Archive Warnings Apply Goose: Nocturn

Tags:

suicidal thoughts, getting together, pining, mutual pining, expecto patronum | patronus charm (harry potter), POV alternating, 8th year, fluff and angst, harry potter is obsessed with draco malfoy, draco malfoy is obsessed with harry potter, friends to lover

Summary:

Malfoy said without greeting, "Thank you." "For the trial?" Malfoy looked at him again, this time openly enough to make Harry feel like the floor was about to consume him—and later he would come to know it wasn’t him, but maybe his soul. "For winning the War." "It was a team effort, really." Malfoy smiled, and Harry didn’t understand why it made him a bit dizzy. "I know, Harry."

A honk of appreciation from goose Nocturn:

I am so thrilled to recommend The Gray in Your Eyes. The healing from repressed trauma, dry and dark humor, and little moments of brightness sparking between Harry and Draco are all so lovely.  Everyone go take a gander at this incredible fic! 

[horriblegoosefest]

The goose is almost here!!! 🪿

Rummage around in those folders you haven’t opened in years, dust off the cobwebs, and bring some life back to your most abandoned works. You said you’d come back to it again one day, but the days turned to years, and – what’s that I hear?

H-O-N-K, we will finish a wip today! 

H-O-N-K, write it or I won't go away! 

What is the horrible goose fest?

The horrible goose fest is borne from the many cries for accountability from fandom creators and the wish that someone hound them (or honk at them) into finishing their wips. This is a partnered fest in which one partner (creator) commits to finishing a work-in-progress and one partner (goose) commits to providing dedicated accountability. 

Great, how does it work? 

There are no prompts in this fest. It's designed to help you finish those languishing drafts and build relationships with other folks in the fandom. You can sign up as a creator and/or a goose. If signing up as a creator, you are committing to finishing an existing work-in-progress (fic, art, podfic, translation) that is not affiliated with other current fest collections or prompts/self-prompts (wips from past fest drops are fine!) If your work-in-progress is already posted to ao3, we will ask you to hide it by adding it to a private collection for the duration of the fest; it will be revealed with everyone's works during the posting period. Creators will upload their finished works to the fest’s ao3 collection. 

If you sign up as a goose, you are committing to frequent check-ins with your creator to help them finish their work in progress. This will involve ongoing discussions with your creator about their progress and deadlines. You're not expected to alpha or beta their work. Think of yourself as a particularly tenacious cheerleader. You are also committing to writing a thoughtful rec of the work upon its completion, which will be posted on tumblr.

How do I sign up?

All participants will sign up by filling out a form on airtable. You can choose your own partner to sign up with, or be paired with a partner by the mods. Participants must be 18+. Due to modly time constraints, we will be capping the number of fic sign-ups at 35. There will be no limit for art or podfic.

If signing up to be paired with a partner, sign up forms will be used to help the mods best match pairs. All HP fandom ships and characters are welcome. Creators will detail their wip plans and accountability needs. Gooses will detail their accountability style and preferred time/frequency commitment – how often and for how long can you check in, are you strict or more of a softie, what strategies and advice can you provide your creator? The form will also have a space for geese and creators to share ship preferences and squicks. We will try our best to match compatible creator/goose pairs, but as with any paired fest, you'll also need to be open, flexible, and friendly.

Can I sign up as both?

Sure! But be aware of the time commitment of both roles and be mindful of what you can realistically handle. Your partner is counting on you! 

What if there are more geese than creators? Or more creators than geese?

If we have an imbalance, and you are a good fit for more than one creator/goose, you may be assigned more than one participant to work with. We will do our best to take into account your time commitment and preferences, so please let us know in the sign up if you are willing to be paired more than once! For fairness reasons, if you are a creator assigned two geese, the two geese will collaborate on a single rec of your work at the end of the fest. You are always welcome to assemble your own team of additional cheerleaders if you’d like <3

If I'm a goose, do I have to be horrible?

The title is jokey. We're not really encouraging anyone to be unkind. Think of a goose as an accountability partner. We're hearing from lots of creators that deadlines and kind but firm expectations are what really get them across the finish line. Goosing is a big job, but in the end we're all rewarded with more works to enjoy! 

What if there’s an issue with my pairing?

To avoid this as much as possible, we encourage folks to sign up as an already-formed pair. Prior to matching, we will share a list of the participants who have signed up. Feel free to use this to form your own pairs. We will be running a discord to facilitate participants getting to know each other. Please remember to be kind, and if someone’s wip really catches your eye, don’t be afraid to reach out - they may be eyeing you!

That said, we know this might be stressful for some, so we are happy to pair you. If you have any concerns with regards to matching, or at any point throughout the fest, please reach out to us. Our goal is to make the fest a safe space for all participants in accordance with our expectations below. 

Speaking of kindness, what are the other expectations in this fest?

We ask that participants generally abide by sals, kink-tomato, and dldr, but also, in recognition of the ways these rules have been used to silence poc voices in fandom, you may be asked to tag content beyond ao3's major trigger warnings or the fandom typical disclosure of sexual acts and violence, such as racist tropes/triggers. Refusal to tag sensitive content may result in your fic being pulled from the fest. If you have questions about what kinds of content we'll ask you to tag or want a sensitivity read for your content, please contact the mods, we really are happy to help!

There will be email check-ins throughout the fest. Make sure to add our email, horriblegoosefest@gmail.com, to your contacts to ensure you receive these communications. Please only reply via email, not via tumblr, discord or any other messaging service. Please send any questions about the fest to horriblegoosefest@gmail.com or #mod-help channel in the fest discord (do not contact individual mods). 

We will post small (optional) challenges and games to participate in during the fest to hype everyone up. These will be posted in the discord server and on tumblr, so make sure you join the server and follow @horriblegoosefest on tumblr! 

Submission info:

There is no word count minimum but we do ask that you submit one fic, artwork, or podfic. Fics should be beta-read. Remember that geese are not required to beta (although they can if they'd like to). Podfics and translations must have either blanket permission or consent from the original authors to be included in the fest.

Works can be submitted in any language. There will be a space on the sign up form to let us know what language you intend to post. If our mod team is not fluent in your chosen posting language we will contact you to discuss options to help us make sure works are beta read and tagged according to fest guidelines. You may be asked to include a disclaimer that the mods are unable to guarantee comprehensive tagging. 

Creators will submit works to an ao3 collection and the following header information should be emailed to the mods. Multi-chapter works will be revealed on a single posting day. As the fest deadline nears, geese will write a celebratory rec of their creator’s work, which will be posted to tumblr. We are happy to provide guidance on writing a rec if you need it.

Header for Fic:

Title:

Creator:

Pairing(s):

Rating:

Word Count:

Warnings/Content: (content warnings as well as general fic tags/enticements go here!)

Summary:

[horriblegoosefest]

I Think You Can in Europe

By: @gallifrey1sburningsburning Pairing(s): Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Rating: T Word Count: 17, 864 Warnings/Content: No Archive Warnings Apply Goose: @timothysboxers

Tags:

Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst with a happy ending, humour, or so the author hopes, charity functions, volunteer work, quidditch, burnout - freeform, emotional meltdown, self-care, or the severe lack thereof, self-esteem issues, i swear it's not as heavy as it sounds, overworked Harry, Ron Weasley is a good friend, Hermione runs a school with a silly acronym, Harry can't say no to a challenge, Draco is perfectly happy to exploit that fact, getting together, drinking, healthy boundaries

Summary:

”I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?” “I think you can in Europe.” - Ten Things I Hate About You Harry has too many things to do and too little time to do them. He hardly has time to eat or sleep, he almost never sees his friends, his flat is a disaster, and he can’t remember the last time he cooked something that wasn’t a boxed meal—but when someone needs his help, how is he supposed to say ‘no’? Everything comes to a head when former-nemesis turned mutually-antagonistic-acquaintance Draco Malfoy finds him hiding under his invisibility cloak to avoid taking on yet another project and issues him a challenge: cancel one single obligatory event and take an evening to himself. Easy, right? As it turns out, not so much. Luckily, Harry’s now got Malfoy there to bully him into taking care of himself, whether he wants to or not.

A honk of appreciation from goose Timothysboxers:

I am so happy to have the opportunity to yell about this work! It explores some (potentially) challenging themes around mental health, burn-out, and your own self-view. While some of these topics are sensitive for me, I have zero regrets taking this wonderful journey with GB [the Author]. Their world building, character exploration, and relationship development is a treat to read—peppered with comedy, sneaky punches to the feels, and rewarding realisations from some unexpected sources. Sometimes, it's okay to say 'no', and reach for what you actually need.

[horriblegoosefest]

Fragile Development

by: @amethystheart2421 Pairing(s): Regulus Black/Remus Lupin Rating: Mature Word Count: 28,845 Warnings/Content: No archive warnings apply  Goose: @midnightstargazer

Tags:

Alternate Universe - Modern Setting; Alternate Universe - Muggle; Office; Inspired by Office Space (1999); Romantic Comedy; Minor Regulus Black/Emmeline Vance; Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin; Infidelity(not between the main pairing); Minor Character Death; Layoffs; Hypnotism; Alcohol; Discussion of Abortion; Friends With Benefits; Mutual Pining; Jealousy; Break Up; Getting Back Together; Aromantic Sirius Black; Trans Remus Lupin; Sirius Black is a Good Brother; Regulus Black Needs a Hug; AU - American; Los Angeles; AU - Everyone lives; alternating pov; Mention of Domestic Violence; brief misgendering

Summary:

Regulus Black is a software developer for Gringotts, and he's miserable. Rumors of coming layoffs are making his coworkers paranoid. His girlfriend takes him to an occupational hypnotherapist who puts him into a relaxed state. He finally asks out the cute server at the Three Broomsticks, and starts to focus on his own happiness. Until layoffs at the company spur him and his friends to exact revenge - and things go terribly wrong. Inspired by the 1999 film Office Space by Mike Judge

A honk of appreciation from goose MidnightStargazer:

Fragile Development is a really clever melding of HP characters and the plot of the movie Office Space. It was a privilege to help make this fic happen, and I'm so excited for it to be posted. Great job, Nicole!

[horriblegoosefest]

My Roommate Is A Cow

by: @waterfalls-moon Pairing(s): Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Rating: G Word Count: 899 Warnings/Content: No warnings apply  Goose: @thunder-of-dragons

Summary:

The last thing Harry needs during the renovation stress is a burglar in the form of a highland cow making itself at home in his house.

Tags: Animagus, Animagus Draco Malfoy, Post-Hogwarts, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Roommates, Secret Identity, Slice of Life, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Getting Together, Animals, Highland cattle, Cows, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Secret Animagus, no actual cow cannibalism happens, Harry Potter is Not an Auror, Art, Traditional Art, Traditional Media, Horrible Goose Fest, Horrible Goose Fest 2024

[horriblegoosefest]

Sign-Ups are now open for HP Horrible Goose Fest!

Sign up as a Creator here until March 29. Written works will be capped at 40 entries.

Sign up as a Goose here until April 3rd.

𓅬 If you are already matched, both of you should sign up individually. 𓅯 If you are not matched, we will match you.

Works are due July 29th. For further information please find our FAQ and Rules

[horriblegoosefest]

To Build A Bower

By: @eveningstruggle Paring(s): Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Rating: T Word Count: 8, 773 Warnings/Content: No archive warnings apply Goose: @greeninkredletters

Tags:

Co-workers, harry potter epilogue what epilogue | EWE, post-war, pining, POV draco malfoy, simp draco malfoy, Ministry of Magic Employee Hermione Granger, Ministry of Magic Employee Draco Malfoy, getting together, anxiety, brief mention of panic attacks, the mating habits of bowerbirds, no disrespect to matildas intended, this was supposed to be a joke and here we are: the eveningstruggle story

Summary:

She has a cat, the same ugly orange thing that she’d had at Hogwarts. She lives in a flat in Clapham Common, has a bird-feeder outside her kitchen window, and is engaged in a war of attrition with the squirrels who believe they are entitled to her Songbird’s Favourite Patio Mix. She wears glasses most days, but contact lenses when she has an important meeting. She loves hazelnut and is allergic to kiwi. She finds Ted’s golf stories tedious.

And now he can add to the Granger, Hermione entry that a piece of pale mint green glass, tossed and tumbled through a thousand ocean waves, is enough to make her stop at his desk and speak to him. -- or: Draco stumbles across a surprising way to get Hermione’s attention.

[horriblegoosefest]

Horrible Goose Fest Honkorable Mentions

The end is in sight! We've had such a fabulous fest with some brilliant finished works (see them all here). Because the goal of goose fest was to encourage creators to continue their works in progress, we wanted to make a post celebrating those that made progress during the fest, but didn't quite meet our fest deadline.

MissQuigley added 8k words to their drarry WIP, The Great Outdoors!

Featuring: established married Drarry, misunderstandings, and a shared penchant for exhibitionism 👀

@toxik-angel wrote 6k words and FINISHED their drarry fic, The Forest Dragon. It's now marked complete on AO3, so go give it a honk and some love!

Featuring: mentally unstable Draco Malfoy, wholesome kid content, Harry gets kidnapped by a dragon, Seer Ron Weasley, Non-linear narrative, and a Ron-Draco friendship (kind of)

And many many wonderful words were added to WIP docs by some very talented creators, and we look forward to reading these works when they are shared with the world.