#harry blech

[thatonebasicfan]

Ben Barnes in Azkaban

Free Him.

[lemoncrushh]

Ruin the Friendship

Summary: It's Ella's birthday, and her best friend Harry plans to tell her how he feels about her.

Warnings: None, just sweet, sugary fluff

Word Count: 5.2k+

A/N: Uni!Harry x OC, AU, friends to lovers one shot written in third person, originally from 2019. I think my first plan back then was to include some smut, but as I was writing, I decided it was not needed. I think you'll see why and agree. Also, Liam and Niall are in this one :).

Ella was his best friend. Some people would say Niall was Harry’s best mate, and while he considered that to be true for the most part, if anyone was to ask, he’d proudly declare that Ella took the title. They’d only known each other since the first year of uni, but in that time they’d grown very close, and if Harry was honest, there were things they shared that he didn’t share with the lads.

Not things like details about girls he fancied or the head he’d gotten that one time from Marla Lemons. He could only talk shit like that with his mates, and he reckoned Ella wouldn’t wanna hear about it anyway. But they could have deep conversations well into the night about nothing and anything, musing about life and death and what it all really meant. He’d known Niall for nearly a decade, and while he could chat him up about complete random shit, he wasn’t the type to talk about things like that.

Sometimes it was nice to have a friend to just chat about nothing with.

One thing he’d never been able to tell Ella, however, was that he secretly wanted to be more than friends. He’d never made a move, and other than holding her hand when she was scared at the haunted house or wiping her tears when she’d cried about an exam she’d failed, he’d barely touched her. Something had happened that first year at university that had put them in the friend zone, and he eventually accepted that was just how it was meant to be. At least for a while. But this last year had been different. Something had shifted, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

Harry stood in the kitchen, his hand around a red cup filled with some sort of concoction that smelled entirely too sweet. He didn’t really want to get shit-faced tonight, that wasn’t his plan. Not that he really had a plan. But it was Ella’s birthday, and if he had anything to say about it, it would be her best one yet. The last three had been fun as far as he could recall, except for the time some girl Niall had been dating...Lena? Lorna?...had gotten so wasted she threw up on the rug. Ella, being the kind soul she was, insisted on cleaning up, holding her nose with a clothespin until Harry finally pulled her away, yelling at Niall that he should clean up his own girlfriend’s puke. Later that night, sat with Ella up on the roof, Harry had thought about confessing his feelings to her. But it just hadn’t felt like the right time, and given that he was still pretty drunk himself, he was afraid Ella would simply blame it on that and not take him seriously.

So the friendship continued.

“Hey mate, you gonna drink that or are you trying to read your future in it?”

Lifting his head, Harry saw his friend Liam enter the kitchen, walking up to the counter beside him and pouring himself a cup of the same pink liquid.

“What’s in this?” Harry asked.

“Hell if I know,” Liam shrugged before taking a large gulp. “Mmm, tastes like bubblegum.”

“Blech!” Harry sounded after taking his own sip, making a face of disgust. “Nah man, where’s the good stuff?”

“Right here, mate!” exclaimed Niall as he strutted into the kitchen with a case of beer in each hand. Two more lads followed him in, carrying the same. Leave it to Niall.

“Not what I meant,” muttered Harry, walking around them to the living room.

The front door opened then, and another handful of people entered, some he knew, some he didn’t. He recognized Vickie, Ella’s roommate among them and when she spotted Harry she smiled.

“Birthday girl’s on her way,” she announced, setting a bag on the counter. Harry noticed the clinking sound it made which made his ears perk up.

“Harry!” Liam called as Vickie pulled out the bottles of both brown and clear liquor. “I think this is what you were looking for!”

Turning back to the kitchen, Harry eyed the bottles and was about to make a decision when a commotion started behind him. It wasn’t a surprise party, but it seemed every girl in the house had run to the front door to greet Ella when she arrived. Harry stood back, his hands in his pockets as he watched her beautiful smile, the pink in her cheeks when her friends hugged her or wished her a happy birthday.

He contemplated stepping forward to give her his own wishes, but soon thought better of it, deciding he’d give her time with her girlfriends first. Instead he made himself a drink, a proper strong one. At least one, he told himself. He didn’t need to get hammered, but he’d need the liquid courage if this was to finally be the night he told her how he felt about her. While he was at it, he reckoned he’d make a drink for Ella as well. He knew what she liked.

“Happy Birthday Ella!” he heard Liam exclaim over the loud music.

Harry looked up from his drink to see that the lad had beat him to the punch as he offered Ella a red cup of what he could only assume was the disgusting pink shit. He chuckled when he saw her make a face and shake her head.

“Um, no thanks, darling,” she said. “I think I’ll see if Harry has something more to my liking at the bar.”

He felt a warmth ooze throughout his body at both the mention of his name and the fact that she called the simple kitchen island with a handful of liquor bottles a bar. He watched as she took a couple strides through the living room and met him with a smile.

“What’ve we got here, bartender?” she asked.

Harry raised a brow. “Oh am I bartender? No one told me.”

“I’m joking,” she giggled, placing a hand on his bicep. “But can you make me something? I am the birthday girl, after all.”

With a smirk, Harry handed her the drink he’d mixed. “Just so happens I already did.”

A wide smile spread across Ella’s face as she took the cup. “See, this is why we’re besties.”

Harry’s face fell, but he quickly tried to compose himself. Clearing his throat, he nodded. “Yeah. You bet.”

Besties. Right.

“Hey, Ells Bells!” they suddenly heard behind them. They both turned to see Niall rushing towards Ella, nearly knocking her drink out of her hand when he enveloped her in a hug.

Harry rolled his eyes. He hated Niall’s stupid nickname for her. He suspected Ella wasn’t too keen on it either, especially when Harry’d slipped up once and called her that himself. She’d told him it was Niall’s name and she’d rather just leave it at that.

“Hello, Niall,” she greeted graciously, kissing him on either cheek.

“Who’s up for a game?” he asked.

Harry grimaced, knowing what kind of game Niall had in mind. But if Ella wanted to play…

“No thanks,” she shook her head. “I think I’ll sit it out this year, love, if it’s all the same.”

Niall shrugged. “Suit yourself. ‘s your birthday.”

“Besides,” Ella added with a cheeky grin, “I don’t want to end up like dear Lorna.”

Harry covered his mouth with his hand, nearly spewing out its contents. When he swallowed, he let out a loud guffaw, causing Niall’s cheeks to redden.

“Eat shit, the both o’ ya,” Niall spat before grabbing another beer from the cooler.

When he’d joined the group in the living room, the majority of them cheering at the prospect of a drinking game, Ella turned to Harry, her face flushed from laughing.

“You’re not gonna play?” she inquired.

“Nah, I’d rather not.”

“Wow. Harry Styles is not interested in getting smashed at a party?” she mocked. “Is the sky falling? Did I miss something?”

“No,” he replied with a shake of his head. “Just don’t feel like it tonight. I mean, I’m still drinking. Just...responsibly.”

“Uh huh. We’ll see how you are in an hour or two.”

“Oh we will?” he quirked a brow.

“Yeah. I’ll check in on you, but don’t expect me to hold your hair back when you’re retching in the toilet.”

He chuckled at their playful banter. He enjoyed taking the piss and teasing each other, even if Ella only thought of it as a friend thing. She didn’t need to know it gave him a boner sometimes.

“Styles, you’re not playing?” Liam called from the living room where a large group had gathered around the coffee table.

Harry simply held up his hands.

“It’s early yet,” Ella winked.

Early, indeed, Harry thought. Too early. He wanted this night to be over already, or at least get past the first part so he could possibly get a chance alone with her to give her his gift. He didn’t want her to open in front of everyone else. It was too personal, and if by chance she didn’t react to it the way he hoped, at least he’d only get his ego bruised a bit and not have to suffer a full embarrassment.

Vickie came up to Ella then, along with another girl who’s name Harry had forgotten. They chatted amongst themselves for a bit before Ella turned to Harry, her hand on his arm. Touch number two, he noted.

“Harry, we’ll be right back, Vickie wants to show me something.”

With a nod, Harry raised his now almost empty cup and drained the rest of his drink. He considered making a second, but reckoned he should pace himself if he didn’t want to hear Ella say ‘I told you so.’

He decided to wander into the living room and watch the others playing the drinking game. Sat on the couch, he laughed when Liam had to take a shot, then Ella’s friend Melissa had to take three in a row. Poor girl, Harry thought until she declared she could hold her own.

After a while, he got bored so he walked down the hall, wondering where Ella had gone. He couldn’t imagine there was anything in the house Vickie had wanted to show her. They’d probably gone outside or to her car. The music drifted down the hall as he made it to his room and sat on the bed. He was definitely not himself tonight. Normally he’d be the first one sat on the floor for a game, or at least by now he’d have a light buzz. He just wanted a clear head, he’d told himself. But it definitely wasn’t clear. All he could think about was her and what he was going to say, if he got the chance to say it.

Running his hands down his face, he took a deep breath and let it out. He stared at the floor for a good while, replaying in his mind the scenario he’d conjured up a couple years ago, edited and tweaked over time.

“Hey, what are you doing in here?”

He jumped when he heard her voice. Lifting his head, he saw her standing in the doorway, her gorgeous eyes wide with wonder.

“Hey,” he muttered softly. “Nothing, I’m just…”

Ella stepped into his room. She’d been in there several times, but this time as she sat on the bed, Harry felt himself tremble.

“Something wrong?” she asked. “Did one of those stupid prats out there give you a hard time? Because you know, that’s my job.”

She nudged Harry’s shoulder with her own, trying to lighten the mood. He laughed lightly under his breath, but said nothing.

“Hey. Harry. I’ve never seen you like this. What gives?”

She turned on the bed to face him, her legs criss crossed. Harry picked at his bottom lip. He wondered if this was it. If this was the moment he was supposed to take action. But how? Was he supposed to give her a long speech about how he’d pined for her for years, or was he supposed to just grab her and kiss her? 

“This is probably a shitty thing to say,” Ella continued, “but I’m not sure I like this Harry. Not that you’re only fun when you’re drunk, I don’t mean that. But you’re so serious and quiet. It kinda scares me.”

“Sorry,” he said a little too quickly. “Don’t mean to scare you.”

“Something on your mind?” she tugged at his shirt. “You can tell me, you know. I’m your best friend.”

“I got something for you,” Harry finally said.

“Yeah?” Ella beamed. She bounced on the bed excitedly. “What did ya get me?”

“Um…”

“Ella!” the sound was deafening, coming from the living room. “Hey birthday girl! It’s time for cake and presents!”

“Oh!” she eyed Harry who merely shrugged. “Well, you can give me your present now.”

Harry shook his head. “I’ll wait. Til later. It’s…”

“Oh,” Ella mouthed again, her voice a whisper this time. “Okay.”

Ella rose from the bed, pulling Harry by the arm. They joined the party in the living room, the drinking game seemingly at a pause. The cake sat in the middle of the coffee table, pink roses and candles atop, Ella’s name in the center.

“Thank you so much,” Ella blushed, her hands by her chest. “I’m gonna cry.”

“You say that every year,” Niall quipped.

“Hush, you!” Ella poked at him.

Vickie lit the candles and a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ began. Though he sang along, Harry was mesmerized by how beautiful Ella looked in the candle light. His stomach was in knots now, and he knew he had to tell her.

Ella opened her gifts next, giving sincere thanks and hugs to each guest. When it was time to cut the cake, however, Melissa made it known that Harry hadn’t given her a gift.

“What’s with that, Harry?” she slurred, obviously drunk from the game. “You’re her best friend, where’s yours?”

Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat until Ella spoke up.

“He’s saving it for later,” she winked at him.

Good god, how many times was she going to wink at him tonight? Had she done that before? He didn’t remember.

“Ooh,” voiced Melissa in a sarcastic tone. “Excuse me.”

Noticing Vickie could probably use some help, Harry rose from his chair and joined her in the kitchen where she was dividing slices of cake onto plates.

“Oh, thanks Harry,” she said, handing him two plates that were ready to be served.

“I should be doing this anyway,” he offered. “Seeing as I’m her best friend and all that.”

He hadn’t meant for his comment to sound sarcastic, but he certainly noticed it came out that way. When he turned the corner, however, he heard a snort from Vickie, followed by a “yeah, sure”.

“What was that?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

“No, what was that sound for?”

“Go,” Vickie shooed at him. “Serve the cake.”

With a frown, Harry made for the living room where he handed Ella a slice of cake, making sure it had a rose on it, and gave the other to Melissa, despite the scowl on her face.

“What did you mean by ‘yeah, sure’?” Harry hounded Vickie when he returned.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Harry, I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“You’re lying.”

“God, don’t be so sensitive,” she scoffed. Deciding Harry wasn’t moving fast enough, she brought more cake to the living room herself.

“Please tell me,” he urged when she came back to grab the last pieces. “Do you not think I’m her best friend?”

“Oh, certainly, Harry. You are.” Then she lowered her voice before completing her thought. “But you want to be more.”

Harry glared at her, his eyes wide. “What?”

“Oh c’mon, Harry! Everybody knows it.”

“Everybody?!”

Vickie giggled. “Don’t get so bent out of shape. Maybe I exaggerated. But Niall told me about your present.”

What the...too much was going on now, Harry’s mind was in a whirl.

“How does Niall know? I didn’t show him.”

“He found it in your room. Was looking for some shorts or something.”

“Jesus,” Harry mumbled with a sigh.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t tell anyone else. I have no idea who Niall told, but I reckon it was just me.”

“What the fuck…” Harry dropped his head. It suddenly felt too heavy for his neck. His entire body felt drained, and he thought he might be sick.

“Hey,” Vickie said low, “if it’s any consolation...Ella’s never confided in me about you or anything...but if you were to make a move, I don’t think she’d reject you.”

Biting his lip, he lifted his head. He was afraid to ask, but at this point he had nothing to lose.

“How do you know?”

“Well, I don’t know. But she literally talks about you all the time. I notice how she looks at you. It’s possible it’s just a friend-like fondness because she really does love and adore you. But I swear they look like heart eyes to me.”

With another sigh, his shoulders dropped. He admitted he felt a little relieved. But he was still extremely nervous.

“Thanks, Vickie,” he said.

“Here,” she grinned, “have some cake.”

“Nah. I think I’ll make another drink.” Harry grabbed a bottle and a new cup, filling it with ice.

“Whatever works for you, darling.”

Vickie joined the group in the living room while Harry nursed his cocktail for a bit. He watched Ella with her other friends, her head falling back as she laughed. Taking her final bite of cake, she looked up and their eyes locked. She tilted her head in question before rising from the couch.

“Here we go again,” she smiled as she leant against the counter. “Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong or not?”

“Not,” he managed a grin. “‘Cause nothing’s wrong.”

“Then why are you over here by yourself? Are you secretly getting drunk so I won’t notice?”

“Nope.”

“Hmm. So...how about that present?”

“I told you, I’ll give it to you later.” he replied, hoping his tone was light and playful.

“You’re being mean,” she pouted, resting her chin in her hand.

Harry chuckled. “No, ‘m not!”

“Well, you’re being weird then.”

“Sorry,” he muttered before taking a drink. “I just...wanna give it to you with no one else around.”

“Ooh. I’m intrigued.”

Harry noticed how her bum stuck out and she wiggled it just slightly. It almost seemed like she was keeping time with the music playing, but he wasn’t sure. Whatever the reason, he felt his blood rush to his crotch and he had to take another gulp from his cup.

“Make me one of those?” she asked, her eyelashes fluttering.

Harry obliged, pouring the liquor over ice and adding soda. When he handed it to her and she took a sip, her eyes widened.

“Is this what you’re drinking?”

“Yeah,” Harry laughed.

“This is way stronger than the first one you made me,” Ella claimed.

“Well, you gotta start off slow.” This time it was his turn to wink.

“Bloody hell, Styles, maybe I am getting drunk tonight.”

Ella rarely called him by his last name unless she was scolding him. With her hand on his arm as she took another drink, he suddenly decided he liked it.

The moment was short-lived, however, when his reverie was interrupted by the noise of half the party joining them in the kitchen. Apparently it was refill time, and they all began to freshen their cups or grab beers. They all chatted for a bit, and before long the whole gang was singing a chorus of “Smells Like Teen Spirit”. Harry realized he was enjoying himself, and was remembering it was a party and started to loosen up.

“Feeling better?” Ella asked, her doe eyes smiling up at him as she placed another hand on his arm. How many times was that now? He’d lost count.

He grinned, looking down at his now empty cup.

“Sorry I’ve been…” he didn’t know how to complete the sentence.

“No worries, darling,” sang Ella. “I just like it best when you’re like this. Happy and smiling. You have a dynamite smile.”

Before Harry could respond, her hand dropped from his arm and he suddenly felt a chill.

“Going to the loo,” she whispered in his ear. “Make me another?”

Harry watched her walk away before he refilled both of their cups with ice and made the same drink as last time.

“So did you tell her yet?”

Harry lifted his gaze to see Melissa standing across from him, a cheeky grin spread across her face.

“Tell who what?” he asked.

“Ella,” she rolled her eyes. “That you’re in love with her.”

Harry’s jaw dropped just as Liam and his footie pal Derek gasped.

“Wait...whoa...what?”

Harry searched the faces in the kitchen before landing on Vickie’s who simply shrugged. Then he glared at Niall.

“Don’t look at me, mate,” he held up his hands.

“It’s my fault,” Melissa admitted. “I saw the letter you typed on your laptop.”

“Letter?” Harry asked incredulously.

“Oh my God, there’s a letter?” Niall brought his fist to his mouth.

Harry thought he might be sick right there on the kitchen tile. Rounding the island, Melissa looked at him.

“Honestly Harry, I thought everyone knew. It’s rather obvious, don’t you think?”

“I didn’t think,” conveyed Liam.

“I might’ve suspected,” said Derek.

“I didn’t really know,” added Niall with a shrug. “Until I saw the box in your wardrobe.”

“What box?” piped Liam.

“I only told Vickie about it, I swear,” Niall continued. “I was wondering if maybe there was already something going on and no one told me.”

“You didn’t think to just ask me?” Harry scoffed, his jaw set. “And what were you doing in my room anyway?”

“Bloody hell, Harry!” exclaimed Melissa when he stepped closer to Niall like he was going to clock him. “What’s the big deal? It’s not like she hasn’t been in love with you for years anyway!”

“What?”

All was silent then, except for Ariana Grande who sang from the speakers in the living room as everyone turned to see Ella stood by the kitchen, her face full of shock, bewilderment and disbelief.

“Ohh shit,” someone muttered low.

“What’s going on?” Ella asked, her eyes wide and her fists at her sides. She appeared to be breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling rapidly. It was Harry’s instinct to pull her away from the crowd and hold her forever, but his feet seemed to be nailed to the ground.

The others in the kitchen quickly busied themselves, the beer and disgustingly sweet punch somehow suddenly the topic of conversation.

“Ella, the birthday girl!” cheered Liam. “What can I get you to drink, love?”

“Melissa?” Ella called, ignoring Liam’s attempt at distraction. “What did you just say?”

“Um...nothing um...important,” her friend stumbled. “I was just reminding Harry here what great friends you are and how it’s a wonder you’ve...never...become...more.”

Blinking, Ella looked from Melissa to Harry. He seemed to be in the same state of shock she was in, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down each time he swallowed.

“Ella…” he breathed, unable to spit out any other word.

“Um...guys…” offered Vickie, coming around the counter with her arms open. “Now might be a good time to open that present.”

She eyed Harry strongly, giving a slow nod of her head. Her hands on each of their backs, she ushered them towards the hallway and into Harry’s room. Without a word, she closed the door behind her, leaving Ella and Harry alone.

They stood in the center of the bedroom, staring at each other and waiting for the other to speak until Harry finally broke the silence.

“Is it true?”

A blush rose in Ella’s already pink cheeks as she bit her bottom lip and nodded. Harry wasted no time erasing the space between them, taking her face in his hands and planting a soft kiss on her mouth.

Startled at first, Ella froze, her hands in the air. Then she soon relaxed, letting her hands fall on Harry’s arms as she kissed him back.

“Ella…” he breathed again when he broke the kiss, his lips nearly still attached to hers. “I’ve...I’ve been in love with you for years too.”

“Since when?” Ella looked up at him with her big beautiful eyes.

“Since...I met you?”

“Liar,” she quipped, stepping back as she tugged on the hem of his shirt.

“Well…” Harry chuckled nervously. “Soon after...I reckon it was that day after the footie game when we were walking back and you asked if I was enjoying school so far.”

Ella glared at Harry, her brows raised. “First year? I don’t think I even remember that.”

“I do,” said Harry. “Very well. You had your hair back in a plait, but the sides were falling down. The sun was starting to set, and I just thought you were the sweetest thing I’d ever seen. I wanted to kiss you so bad.”

Ella hummed softly as she ran her hands up his chest.

“Kiss me again,” she pleaded. “Just like you wanted to then.”

Cupping her face again, Harry tilted his head and brought his mouth to hers. Ella felt the tingles right to her toes, a tiny squeak of a moan escaping her throat. That was music to Harry’s ears, and he eagerly slipped his tongue between her lips, meeting hers with a jolt of electricity. They kissed each other like they meant it, like it was everything they’d ever wanted. When Ella repeated her sound of pleasure, Harry lifted her by her bum and carried her to the bed.

“Your lips are so soft,” he declared, his body pressed against hers.

“Yours too.”

His hand on Ella’s waist, he lifted her shirt slightly until he touched skin. The connection was like fire, an explosion of all the senses. He began to kiss her neck then, feeling her pant beneath his lips, sending his blood rushing throughout his entire body.

“Oh my God, Harry,” Ella moaned. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked with a smirk. “Me too.”

“Really?

“Fuck yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because…” Ella hesitated. “I didn’t wanna ruin the friendship.”

“Me neither,” said Harry.

“So what do we do now?” Ella looked at him with equal parts desire and apprehension.

“Ruin the friendship.”

Ella giggled, causing Harry’s chest to tickle and his smile to widen.

“I guess...if both of us feel the same,” she remarked, “it’s not really ruining it, is it?”

“I suspect not.”

After a few more kisses, Harry rested his forehead against hers as he listened to both of their breathing.

“I should stop,” he groaned.

“No. Why?”

Lifting his head, Harry looked Ella in the eye. She was so beautiful, her pouty lips already swollen from his kisses, her gaze questioning. There were so many things he wanted to do to her, with her. But they’d only just confessed how they felt. Actually, they hadn’t really fully done that. Someone else had let the cat out of the bag.

“Um...let me...give you your present,” he said, sliding off the bed.

“Okay.”

Ella sat up, pushing her hair from her face as Harry rummaged through his wardrobe and pulled out a small box. Setting it on the bed, he cleared his throat.

“So um...there’s a letter that’s supposed to go with it. I was going to read it while you open the gift. It kind of explains it all. But...since you already know, I reckon it’s pointless.”

“No, I’d like to hear the letter,” Ella smiled sweetly.

“Right then,” Harry chuckled nervously while he pulled out a folded sheet of paper from his back pocket. Clearing his throat again, he began to read…

Dear Ella,

Four years ago, we met in Lit class. While I didn’t make the best marks, I felt as though I aced it because you were sat next to me. Your love for literature was infectious, and I always left class with a smile on my face. I also began to enjoy your company at football games. It was obvious to me that despite the fact that you weren’t a massive fan of the sport, you came along to cheer on your friends, and I thought that was just a kind thing to do. You’ve always had a compassionate heart and a kind soul, and I reckon that’s why I began to have deeper feelings for you.

As the years have gone by, I’ve tried my best to convince myself that we’re just meant to be friends. I consider you my best friend, and I cherish our friendship more than anything. Many times I’ve wanted to tell you how I really felt, but the timing was just off, or I was chicken shit. I worried that you didn’t think of me in any other way, and being just your friend was better than nothing at all.

I still feel that way, but tonight, on your birthday, I’m putting myself out there and taking that risk. You have my heart, Ella. I want you to be mine, both my friend and my lover. I want to kiss you better than you’ve ever been kissed. I want to hold you in my arms and tell you every day how in love with you I am. You deserve the moon and the stars, the heavens and the entire universe...and I want to be the one to give it all to you.

I pray that you’ll have me as more than a friend, and accept my heart as I hand it over to you.

Yours eternally,

Harry

Dropping the paper, Harry noticed Ella was in tears, her cheeks wet as she tried desperately to wipe them.

“That was the most beautiful letter,” she whispered.

Laying the letter on the bed, Harry sat down next to it and handed Ella the box.

“I hope you like it,” he said.

It was a simple white box, unwrapped but a pink bow adorned the top. When Ella lifted the lid, she gasped. Inside sat a silver charm bracelet containing six delicate charms. She fingered each one before looking up at Harry, waiting for his explanation.

“Here, may I?” he asked, lifting the bracelet from the box.

Ella nodded and Harry unlatched the clasp and wrapped it around her delicate wrist. Ella watched his mouth as he began to describe each charm.

“A book,” he said, touching the first one. “For your love of literature. A football, for all the games you went to.”

Ella smiled, recalling all the great memories she had of watching Harry and his team.

“Two hearts…” he added. “One for your big, kind heart. And one for mine which you now own.”

Without hesitation, Ella lifted her other hand to Harry’s cheek. He smiled back at her.

“And...the moon and the stars…” he finished. “Because you deserve them.”

“Harry…” Ella murmured softly, more tears threatening to fall from her eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”

Dropping his hands to her waist, Harry pulled her closer.

“Say you feel the same, Ella,” he whispered. “Say you love me too.”

“I do,” she declared. “I so very much do.”

Hope you enjoyed!

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[sixstringphonic]

Its really hard to believe you give a fuck about antisemitism when you only comment on antisemitism to say its bad for Palestine.

I hear you, anon, I understand what you're saying. Allow me to attempt to address your concern.

The post you're referencing is a vent post about Americans who are saying they won't vote for Harris because of her position on Israel, and, as such, was directed at individuals who are sympathetic to Palestine. I mentioned that antisemitism is bad for Palestinians because saying it's (by its very definition) bad for Jews isn't going to change the minds of people who believe the violence in Gaza is somehow comparable to the Holocaust. If anything, it's just going to make them dig their heels in harder.

You don't change people's minds by shaming them; you do it by finding common ground, and working your way up from there. It's kind of like those posts you see going around about how to talk to your conservative MAGA relatives at the holidays (of course I can't find a link right now, sorry). Unfortunately, if you want to change someone's mind, you can't go around being self-righteous and beating them over the head with The Stick Truth. It's just going to make them angrier. You have to use persuasion. Reframing an argument in a way that appeals to their own beliefs and goals is a good start, but they've still gotta get their on their own. Secondly, a discussion of why antisemitism is (again, by definition) bad for Jews, both requires and deserves a separate post beyond the scope and target of my initial vent. Additionally, there are many, many tumblr users who have written about antisemitism more persuasively than I ever could, because they unfortunately speak from a place of personal and cultural experience.

I am not Jewish, but many of my closest friends and colleagues are, to the extent that people I work with have just assumed I'm Jewish, and my boss in high school dubbed me an "honorary Jew" - which, coming from him, was a high honor indeed! What I have learned from them is that the best thing I can do when they're hurting is hold space for them, and listen.

What I am is an American citizen and registered Democrat who has voted in 5 presidential elections. I am a Democrat who voted for Bernie Sanders in both primaries, and when he lost, I sucked it up and voted for Clinton (blech) and then Biden (meh) because while I wasn't old enough to vote for Al Gore in 2000 (I was 16), I was old enough to understand that Republicans literally stole the election (see: Bush v. Gore, hanging chads, etc). I also understood that this was only possible because Ralph Nader split the vote. This is therefore a subject which I am able to speak about from my own lived experience.

In summary: 1.) my original post was about the 2024 US presidential election, not antisemitism, 2.) you're more likely to change someone's mind by finding common ground than by shaming them, 3.) I hear, respect, and hold space for Jews around the world whose lives are affected by antisemitism, and 4.) I'm old enough to know from lived experience that "Vote Blue no matter who!" isn't hyperbole, it's a necessity.

[realnormanosborn]

Do you think test tube Harry would have tasted like shower potion or dollar store slime?

Blech

[shivstar]

My take on Jegulus as someone who has been there and done that ( As a Sirius Black supporter)

Warning for the lovers of the ship to stay away because I don't have particularly positive opinion.....

So most stories make it seem as such a big forbidden love story. As these two as the idol lion and snake falling in love during times of war. And to make it seem more Romio juliet type, Sirius is shown as the guy who opposes him the most.

Now truthfully we don't know the exact state in which the black boys were brought up so everything is conjecture but we are sure that there was atleast emotional abuse to make a 16 year old to take such drastic actions.

And okay i can sympathise towards the teen Regulus that he didn't know any better or thought himself to be right. But in some way he was part of the family who made Sirius feel that leaving is a better option.

We know from canon that this man didn't let 12 years with Dementors completely break him. He had a strength to him even after being so so wronged by the side he was fighting for that the likes of Remus spineless lupin can never match.

So how can anyone believe even for a second that had Sirius had even a tiniest belief that Regulus could be helped he wouldn't have stayed. To drive the point home i would clear it that I neither believe that either black boy was pressured into joining Voldemort by their parents nor were they physically tortured at the hands of their own parents. This is my head canon. So he would have stayed had regulus been anything but the snobby pampered and secure kid. Similar to Draco Malfoy.

And i know there is no comparison but imagine that Harry was not physically abused at the hands of Dursleys. Just the typical emotional and psychological abuse. Now imagine a senorio in which either Ron Or Hermione went and fell in love with Dudley. .... Yeah that is the crude version of jegulus to it's core.

Because the only difference these two will be that Dudley was 1) Harrys cousin and not his brother 2) Dudley doesnt fall into beauty standard of the fandom 3) Dudley was not a wizard.

Because just like Regulus, Dudley too has a redemption ark in the books. He understood things to a certain extent, not fully mind you, which is very similar to Regulus.

Jegulus can be palatable if the ark is somewhat of black brother reconciliation first and then James and regulus becoming acquaintance then friends and then something more because anything else is really a betrayal to the highest trust and devotion Sirius has given to James.

Now most stories i have read in my stupid phase where i could stomach that thing was James going behind Sirius' back. Seeking Regulus out when he feels defeated for yet again being rejected by Lily Evans and finding solace in the arms of this guy while Sirius and Remus are having background drama because of the shack incident and thier own *blech* sexual tension.

I cannot express how much wolfstar i had to suffer just for reading Jegulus. I mean i hate Wolfstar with a passion. I cannot stand it but i did because I was going through this phase of jegulus. Obviously Sirius Black deserves better than Lupin.

All in all writers there are so great that they make you really hate Sirius for being against this relationship. Either he is the villian Or he is the road bump in their great love saga.

I mean i don't know where this thought came from making Sirius the problem behind everything in marauders era fictions. Yes he was a troubled kid, but aren't we all. Don't tell me that you had all your shits together by 21 years of age.

Jegulus for me is like a movie I have seen as a kid about fairies and princesses thta at the time I enjoyed the most as a child but now I find them ridiculous and laugh at my own younger self for ever finding fun in it.

But I guess that is what it means to grow up.

Alos as an end note Peter pettigrew is nothing but a tiny non existent character there. Even in alternative universe. So we know that that section of the fandom will remove anyone who hasn't got looks to support. I mean yes we all hate him, he did the worst thing but his importance is so so much more to Harry Potter than Remus Lupin's.

I mean James birthed him, Sirius is his support and family and motivation. Peter is the reason behind harrys eternal suffering but even if you remove Remus Lupin fron the story nothing significant will change.

If we remove James there will be no Harry. If we remove Sirius there will be 2 less books atleast. If we remove Peter then Harry would never reach his prophesied destiny. The only role Lupin plays is making sure Peter becomes an animagus along with the other two. But with how much Sirius and James were valedictorian level kids, they might have done it without the need to help their wolfy friend.

If anyone deserve this treatment it is obviously Remus Lupin because he has so less impact on people's life that it won't matter if he is just deleted.

[pxtitxrosx]

Rules: bold what your muse prefers and tag some people.

go apple picking vs. go on a hayride

scary vs. sweet

sweaters vs. boots

socks vs. mittens

bonfires vs. football

trick-or-treating vs. watch scary movies

bake pie vs. bake cookies (Like she could choose.)

rain vs. fog

black cats vs. owls

ghosts vs. wizards

harry potter vs. halloweentown

go hiking vs. sleep in

cinnamon vs. nutmeg (ya'll out here giving her the unchooseable)

reading vs. writing

hot chocolate vs. tea

live in a cabin in a forest vs. have it be fall 24/7

candy apples vs. caramel apples

blankets vs. pillows

roasted marshmallows vs. roasted chestnuts

coffee vs. apple cider

red leaves vs. orange leaves

braids vs. bows

scented candles vs. the smell of fresh baked goods

carve pumpkins vs. make pumpkin pie

pumpkin spice lattes vs. chai tea lattes

coats vs. oversized sweaters

beanies vs. berets

candy corn vs. peanut butter cups (Neither blech)

jump in a pile of leaves vs. swing on a tire

corn maze vs. haunted house

 bob for apples vs. visit a pumpkin patch

whipped cream on hot chocolate vs. marshmallows on hot chocolate

[aurorawest]

Reading update

Brick Walls by LA Witt - 3.25/5 stars

Honestly not a great book, from a writing mechanics perspective. This definitely could have benefited from a few more editing passes. It dragged in parts because the characters kept having the same internal monologue over and over, and there were too many scenes of the two mains sniping at each other with the exact same argument. THAT SAID, the MCs themselves were charming and likable, and the second chance romance was compelling. I also thought the cocaine addiction storyline was pretty well done, especially considering this is a hockey romance.

Deny Me, the Nightshade Boy by Mary Vanalstine - 5/5 stars

This is the debut novel of a pal! Very fun book set primarily in Minnesota. It's gay, plus there's a cat named Arwen Undómeow, which is obviously an A+ pun. Also points for a dig at Chaska.

Young Men in Love, edited by Joe Glass and Matt Miner - 4/5 stars

Nice little queer comics romance anthology.

Fire and Sand by Andrew Grey - 3.75/5 stars

The Professor's Green Card Marriage by Heidi Cullinan - 4.25/5 stars

This book was delightful and taught me that I had selective mutism as a child, despite the fact that apparently the therapist I saw insisted I didn't. I was even able to forgive Cullinan's fudging of USCIS's requirements for dramatic purposes because the story was lovely.

Up in Smoke by Annabeth Albert - 4/5 stars

Once a Rogue by Allie Therin - 4/5 stars

The Doctor's Secret by Heidi Cullinan - 4/5 stars

His Reluctant Cowboy by AM Arthur - 4/5 stars

Charmed & Dangerous: Ten Tales of Gay Paranormal Romance and Urban Fantasy, edited by Jordan Castillo Price - 5/5 stars

One of the best short story anthologies I've ever read. There are some real legends in here, like Ginn Hale, KJ Charles, and Jordan L Hawk. Ginn Hale's story belongs to one of my favorite genres, "Harry Potter was a defining piece of fiction for me but what if I ran with its sketchy elements?" (see also: Rainbow Rowell's Simon Snow trilogy). I think a lot of the stories in this collection are spinoffs of the authors' already existing fiction (KJ Charles's definitely is—I had actually already read the sequel to the story in this anthology), but that didn't detract from my enjoyment.

Precious Metals by LA Witt - 4/5 stars

Lies We Sing to the Sea by Sarah Underwood - 2/5 stars

Oof. Look, I know it's YA. But I've read some great YA—and this is not it. First off, it's a myth retelling, which I categorically despise. Second, the blurb makes it clear there's a love triangle involved. Blech. The only reason I read this one is because I got it in an Illumicrate. And to be perfectly fair, I was enjoying it a fair bit until about the last quarter. That was the point at which we got Melantho's rape scene and, very shortly afterwards, Leto and Mathias having sex, which I found extremely squicky because it was structurally and narratively very similar to the rape, even though it's consensual. It made my skin crawl. Also I really Did Not Like the fact that Leto was in love with both Melantho and Mathias (yeah yeah polyships whatever, I hate polyships though). Didn't like the theme of 'choosing' one or the other when the choice was made for Leto but she still got to take credit for it. The idea that all the death could have been avoided if People Had Just Talked To Each Other made me wonder why the book had to be 490 pages long. The ending has none of the gravitas of an actual Greek tragedy, even though that's what it's supposed to be. And like, I got it. I got what Underwood was going for like 100 pages in. It wasn't subtle. Ultimately I think a better/more mature author could have pulled this stuff off, but Underwood was twenty-one when she wrote this, and it shows.

[anerdyfeminist]

Mid season 7 Will & Grace rewatch check in. Yeeeeeah this show gets a MESS by this point just as I had recalled 🤣 So many of the story lines are stale platforms for the characters to just be weirdly amped up versions of what they’ve always been and go NOWHERE. Jack goes to nursing school to immediately drop nursing, which he was allegedly actually good at?? Why? Grace gets married but it implodes with the Harry Connick Jr. as Dr. Leo in Cambodia and the cheating stuff, yawn. Karen also gets married to the John Cleese character (who is a great actor wasted in that role) and she IMMEDIATELY divorces him like announcing it at her actual wedding??? I just do not understand it.

I like Bobby Cannavale and Will getting a decent boyfriend but Vince is a cop, blech.

I didn’t watch a lot of this stretch back when bc my life in college was unhealthily busy (I had all the jobs and classes and wouldn’t let my socializing take a hit. I ran on 4-5 hours of sleep for years and epically burned myself out later…eeek 😅) I wonder if it will all be shit from here on out. I don’t know if I have it in me to watch the rest of these 4 seasons (reboot seasons included.)

[releaseholiday]

Maybe I’m just not that cool because there are so many things people do at these shows that I just do not understand. I’m barely older than Harry and I don’t want to fight people to get barricade! I would not ever through my bra at a stage are you kidding me (my bras are very pretty and expensive I’m not sacrificing them and also gross)! I don’t want to make tik toks ever but definitely not at a concert, I like to feel like I’m present at a show so I’m not big on recording it when I could be watching it. I don’t want him to read about me missing surgery or my dog dying or whatever to get some sympathetic interaction special moment! And I definitely do not ever want to write about pussy or cum or anything on a sign to like sexually harass him it’s gross! No part of me wants to go to any concert for clout it is not a goal of mine. And it’s all so much upselling of his (boring) merch and those stupid watermelon snacks and Blech it’s all just like ok, I am clearly not the target audience if this is how people think they can or should act. I mean ideally I would like to watch from side stage or something sitting on one of those big storage trunks and drinking a beer that never gets empty haha. I don’t know though, the fan behavior and culture is so embarrassing and inappropriate to me and I feel like I’m 100 years old for being like “these people do not know how to handle themselves and they shouldn’t be there until they do.” I thought it was nice that some people threw flowers, I didn’t think the unoriginal birthday sex signs were nice at all. 🫠🫠🫠

These are the thoughts of every normal sane person, so I’d say you’re pretty cool actually

[hannahhook7744]

If I go Missing (Eddie Balthazar);

Trigger warnings: Mention of Organ Harvesting. The following is to be handed over to Auradon in the event I go missing at the soonest possible convivence.

MY FULL LEGAL NAME: Edmund Seraiah Balthazar.

NICKNAMES OR PET NAMES I GO BY: 

 Eddie, The Rat, The Informant, Detective Balthazar, Balthazar Jr, Balthazar, Ed, Eds, Eddie Spaghetti, Edmister, Eddie Teddy, Steady Eddie, Mund, Eddo, Edsy, The Spy, The Double Agent, Detective Eddie, Edsy Dear, E, Eddie B, E.B, and E-Man. 

DATE OF BIRTH:  November 10th, 15 years ago. 

RACE: Caucasian.

HEIGHT:  6’0 (183 cm).

APPROXIMATE WEIGHT:  168 lb (76 kg).

EYE COLOR: Dark Brown.

HAIR COLOR: Black.

GENDER: Male.

IDENTIFIABLE SCARS OR TATTOOS AND PLACEMENT: B.D.A Magnifying glass tattoo on the right wrist, a faint cat scratch scar on his nose, and a dog bite scar on his neck.

MOST RECENT ADDRESS: 3rd house on the right from Hell Hall.

FAMILY:

Unnamed (Maternal Aunt/uncle)(Deceased),

James Brown Sr. (Maternal cousin)(Living),

Elizabeth Brown (Maternal cousin-in-law via marriage)(Living),

James Brown jr. (Maternal first cousin-once-removed)(Living),

Lulu Brown (Maternal adoptive first cousin-once-removed)(Living),

Sarah Brown (Mother)(Living), 

Edgar Balthazar (Father)(Living), 

Hermie Bing (Girlfriend)(Living),

Si (Pet cat)(Deceased), 

Am (Pet cat)(Deceased), 

Flea (Pet cat)(Living),

 Blech (Pet cat)(Living),

 Snot (Pet cat)(Living), 

Furball (Pet cat)(Living), 

Tape Worm (Pet cat)(Living), 

Mange (Pet cat)(Living), 

And Mystery Noir (Pet turtle)(Living).

CLOSE FRIEND NAME: Jason ‘Jace’ Nelson Badun.

PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT: Whoever pays for his housekeeper and pet groomer skills for the day.

CLOSE WORK ACQUAINTANCE/MANAGER: Harold 'Harry' Everett Badun.

POSSIBLE SUSPECTS: 

My health. 

Organ harvesters.

Rosina Leckermaul (The gingerbread hag). 

Barker Coachman (the Coachman).

Whoever I’ve run my mouth off to that week. 

Any of the other human traffickers on the isle.  

[fallingsunflower]

And Rob Stringer has creeped me out for years I agree. I can think of specific reason at the moment but I definitely think it’s very weird that he seems to be trying to have such a close (and fake) relationship with Harry. I also think he was part of the group that got him to sign with that whole group of revolting people while he was still only like 19 which is of course, very morally wrong. Blech.

Also I was amazed James and Ben didn’t try to shoehorn themselves into that group photo of Harry’s team who I would like to see fired.

Didn't Ben though lol or did I make that up

[nought-shall-go-ill]

⭐️ Would love to hear some director's commentary for The Other Half of the Sky!

And I would love to give some director’s commentary for The Other Half of the Sky, @kay-elle-cee! I am so sorry it has taken so long. I typed out a whole answer to this the other day, only for the app to delete it 😰.

This is also my first time doing a director’s commentary, so if there is some kind of etiquette I’m getting wrong, further apologies! With that all said and one, here are 6 facts about TOHOTs in honour of Chapter 6, which will come out… eventually.

Fact 1: The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad TOHOTS - This story originally started out very differently. I came up with the original plot about a year ago. Lily was still estranged from friends and close to Snape, but she became connected with the Order in a very different way. She was made Potions teacher at Hogwarts and very gradually got close to Transfiguration teacher James who was a single father to Harry after his Muggle wife was murdered. The plot was far more centred around their love story but the other main plot points were there, so I shan’t mention more about that because spoilers! However, I didn’t even start to write that original TOHOTS down. Something just wasn’t right about it. So I tucked it away until I found the missing piece…

Fact 2: I got love for you if you were around in the 80s, the 80s - The 80s culture drives a lot of my love for this fic. And I am wholeheartedly not ashamed of that. It was entirely what it needed to spark some fire into it again. Now, I absolutely do not think a fic needs to be culturally accurate to be interesting. As far as I’m concerned, as long as I’m having a good time, I don’t care how accurate it is with the language or culture. However, I am also a history and linguistics nerd, and I love reading and hearing about this era! And it has been a dream of mine for awhile to write something that really delves into it. With my own bizarre background and educational history, I’m strangely well suited to writing about the variety of people groups introduced in TOHOTS too. I love getting lost in the world of this era and feeling like I’m really there. I can only hope the readers do too. So, sorry Potions teacher Lily, I abandoned you for a Depeche Mode-listening, Mackem Mum-having, Silk Cut-smoking Lily instead and haven’t looked back. (This has also been a great chance for me to connect again with British culture too. Though a born-and-bred Brit, I don’t spend a lot of time interacting with my home country anymore and though I have… mixed feelings about it, it is still nice to connect with it from time to time.)

Fact 3: Lily & Dorcas’ Infinite Playlist - There just might be a scene coming up in Heaven— I mean Elyseum, Caradoc’s club, sometime soon. Maybe. Maybe. And just maybe I’ve made a playlist of songs that will be playing in the club at the time. Maybe. And that playlist just might include maybe such songs as (randomly selected): Olivia Newton-John & The Electric Light Orchestra’s Xanadu; Bucks Fizz’ Making Your Mind Up; The Go-Gos’ We Got the Beat; and Kate Bush’s Babooshka. *Slight spoilers for next chapter* but there is also going to be an adjacent bar attached to the club that plays more alt music, so expect lots of post-punk and new wave, as well as pop!

Fact 4: Honey I Blew Up The Fic - As some people might know this fic originally started off as a The Light Come Shining length one shot. It then became a 12 chapter multi chapter fic. Now, it is currently set to be around 42 chapters long. That’s quite the growth! But honestly, I prefer it this way. This has allowed me to explore far more of Lily’s story away from James, and I personally think it is a stronger story for that. Sure, it would probably need a professional edit if it were a published piece, but we’re here to learn and have fun ne.

Fact 5: Blech - In the name of being honest, I have one thing I dislike about this fic. Most of it I love, but that first paragraph… I just don’t know what I was thinking! I think I was trying to be like the sort of writer I’m not. Perhaps I shouldn’t admit to that, but it felt like something suitable for a director’s commentary. Not everything has to be perfect for you to love it. (Might go back and edit it one day though…)

Fact 6: The Good, the Bad and the Muggle-y - Though it won’t be a huge part of the plot, I also plan to explore Muggleborn reactions to 1980s current affairs in this fic. This might not be popular with everyone, I’m aware. Fanfic is escapism. But a lot of hardships occurred in the 1980s and though TOHOTS Lily is certainly flawed, I just can’t see her ignoring them entirely, at least not forever. In many ways, I want this to contrast canon in that way. Though Harry becomes more and more concerned with the Wizarding World (as he has every right to be), Lily is older and has a different fight to live through. I cannot see a movement that is so concerned with saving Muggle lives not becoming entangled with it… at least slightly. So, do expect more of that Muggle culture to come in and make a bit of a mess as it does.

And that’s it! I hope that is along the right sort of lines for a director’s commentary! I also plan to put out a little snippet later on too, so watch out for it.

[wench-and-jezebel]

My Bloody Valentine (3D) Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

[Preemptive warning for gore, btw… I'm sure that's shocking]

Bloody gears, so scurry

DEAN

Jump scare

How.  Did she.  Not notice that sooner.  [Define the that for the viewers please, dear]  That the guy legit just wasn’t in his bed

WELL SHIT. DERSSS BEEN A MURDERRRRR.  [THERE'S BEEN SEVERAL MY DEAR]

WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE GORE?!  [Ma’am.]  Kiddingggg

Sweet lord. Blech

The acting tho ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [I've told you this; Jackles is, like, the only good actor in this (slight exaggeration but not much)]  🤣🤣🤣 Fair

Deannn  [His name's Tom btw aksldjf]

Whooooa, Tom's voice… That caught me off guard  [I KNOW RIGHT] Isss so soft  [asfdkja;dslfkj This is true]

[Creepy mineshaft that just collapsed: OBVIOUSLY the best place for a party]  Right?!

Oooooh jumpscare??

☠️

[Damn, I really should've warned you about the gore, huh?] Literally

But also.  Wot.  WAS THAT.  You can tell this was a 3D movie  ☠️☠️☠️

How’d he miss them

[“Jason” Wrong horror movie, bud]  ☠️☠️☠️

Buddy.  Don’t you see the bodies???

Runnnnn buddy

☠️☠️☠️ Well damn

Damn x2

Oh shit.  ☠️☠️☠️☠️ blech

[And prepare yourself for some uncoolness btw]  Uncoolness?  [“Dean”'s friends]  Oh.  Oh shit.  They just.  Left him.  Though, I mean, at least his girlfriend tried.  [Yes, but she's 1/3]  True.  2/3 suck.  [asdkfjha;kdfsj Yeah]

Poor buddy [Abandoned with a serial killer]

Bad-buddy, the mask breathing is a giveaway

Freckles

Blood freckles

Bruh HARRY IS A BEAST [*to the dulcet sounds of Bachman-Turner Overdrive* You ain't seen nothing yet]

And at that moment he snapped [...]  What?  [Nothing.]

The lip trembleee thoooo 💕💕💕 *dissolves*

– – – 

And here we paused because someone closed Safari.  Not that I’m naming names, but it was Jezebel.  Because obviously, if anyone were gonna close the film preemptively, it’d be she.  (With all affection, my dear :) )

– – – 

Wait, is that douche?  From earlier?  [Yes]  Le gasp

Wait?  Wait  WAIT  That hoe!!!  3/3  [I told you… uncoolness.]  She ain’t loyal

I don’t even feel bad the guy’s gonna kill ‘em all  [That’s what I’m SAYING]

[And btw... wait for itttt]  GOOD!  Thassss what she gets  [tbf, you're right: there’s a poeticness to the fact that she’s being cheated on after abandoning Tom and moving on with the other dude]

I knew it.  Haha.  Ya screwed up buddy. She pregnant.

Bowleggedness at its finest  [alskdjf]  Even if that was the most pointless scene  [LAKSJDF;LKASJFD]  Imma squat and stare at spooky mine where all my trauma came from  [Max-coded] ☠️

[This whole town pisses me off, btw]

Buddy can’t get a good dad. Including his irl one.  [Wait till you see Devour…. Where his dad sucks AND is played by his irl dad]

[Pupper]

👀👀👀👀 Welp.  [They're very.  Enthusiastic.]  Tiddies ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [It does get... more]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  I just…. It’s not like that.  It’s nothing like that.  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[I forgot how PTSD buddy is] 💕💕💕💕💕*sigh*

[That.  Does not qualify as romantic btw]

Oh shit

OH SHIT

BITCH?!  Why did you not shut the door?!!?  CLEARLY SHES HAS NEVER SEEN A HORROR MOVIE

Come on, ma’am, you never hide under the bed [Hmmmmm, I wonder where she could beeeee]

Well damn poor lady.  [Yup :(]

DAMN

THIS MOVIES FUCKING WILD 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣  [I KNOW]

Hi 💕 *dissolves* [His smile is so cute tho]  Oh my goooosh dawwww

Ok I’m not AS mad that she moved on.  But still.  [It still bothers me for a thing I can't say yet; talk about it at the end]  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh wait.  Oh wait!  Is the kid his?  [I don't think so]  Oh  [It's been ten years… Kid's not ten, I don't think]  I thought that was the thing you couldn’t say  [Nope.  You’ll see :)]

Yeah you shot him, but he did kinda just you know… WALK AWAY

OH SHIT, old man.  [Did I mention this whole town pisses me off?]  

“I didn’t kill those people.”  Why tf are they blaming him?  [Technically.  Because the mine explosion is explained as being because he didn't do something he should've.]  Ooooh  [But AGAIN.  Accidental explosion vs intentional homicide.  Which is the bigger deal?]  Ye. Not the same.  Like.  TF?!  And like…. If buddy wanted to be doing the murders… he would have done it anyway.  [AND Even if he initially started "to save air" (unclear), he then killed all the poor nurses and doctors and college kids.  So that's not just.  “necessity”]

Why you watching their "activities", sir?  That’s not a murder.  That’s.  Intercourse.  Buddy.

BUDDY YOURE CHEATING ON HER!!!  YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE JEALOUS ABOUT HER STILL LIKING TOM.

[Buddy, you already regretted the last ten years of your life.  Also, ma'am annoys me here btw.  "How dare you need time and space away from the town that blamed you for blowing up a mine after the serial killer who almost killed you got shot in front of you after your friends abandoned you?!?!?"]

Buddy you’re always losing your way.  It’s a character trait at this point.

Nahhhhh mines scuuuurrr me [Even without serial killers in them]

Ouch migraine

Okay, nope, that’s it.  The way they look at each other.  That was just tooooo much of a looking in the mirror moment.  If Tom’s not the bad guy, I’ma riot.

The fecking squelch

[You realize how claustrophobic Tom must be tho?]  Right!?!

Bruh.  He was locked in the cage.  I still think he did it (so how tf did he do that) but come on

“Cause you’re pretty and I love you” [Basically]

BRUH AXEL YOU ARE CHEATING ON HERRRRRR.  [I KNOW.  He’s so possessive and for why.  He legit gives 0 shits]

I AM SO READY FOR HIM TO DIE.  if he doesn’t I’m gonna be very angry

[This has gone well btw]

“Come on, wife I don’t care about but pretty boy can’t care about either”

Gahhhhhh I hate that douche is the cop.  Ewwwww  [!!!]

“Why would you want to sell the mine?” *2 seconds later*  “Why would you want to stay?”

Ohh he struck a nerve [This poor dude has gotten punched, like, three times] ☠️☠️☠️

[I love his coat-hoodie combo thing alkasjfd]

“Or you”  Poor ol buddy's like… why you say that to me

Yellow fever vibes [Yes]

[Did I mention that buddy is so claustrophobic and so PTSD that it's painful]  I knowwwww

Why you look so shocked; you didn’t even close it

Ahhhhhh Blech

Why can’t douche just like die  [alksdjf Maybe he will!]

Oh shit “We found Ben”

[I swear, they're all just like: Hmm, something went wrong. Blame Tom!]

Bruh this chick

Wait WOT.  Ma'am, Axel was only there for you ‘cause you left Tom behind!??

[They have also never seen a horror movie]

Oh don’t hold your belly ma’am; you’re what, three days?

Beaten down with a Turkey leg

Oh shit Sarah die?  [I say nothing]

“Yes, let me leave you alone”

All he’s thinking is “thanks Harry”

Oooop- She knowwws  [I know she's saying Axel, but it sounded like asshole]

OH SHIT NOT THE KIDDDD

ME AS A COP!  “Do I gotta go in?”

Welp cop You’re about to be retired from life too, ok?

Oh shiiiiiit

X2

Ooooof

Good thing I’m not squeami— oh. Wait  [I GAVE THE GORE WARNING]

[Ooh, the salt in the wound tho.  "She left with that nice Tom Hanniger"]

Theeeeee CGI

[Ma'am, Axel almost slammed you into a desk; how is him being violent impossible?]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

They didn’t handle this storyline well.  I hate that the guy who got the short end of the stick the whole movie is the bad guy  [FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT.  Also… That end just got shorter btw]  ☹️☹️  [The screams thoooo]

Ewww Axel’s vengeance face

She gon kill axel and then it’s not him

☠️☠️☠️ Poetic

Bitch.  Why.  The mines.  Of all places.  To hide.  From a psycho miner dude.

Poor Sarah

Oooop- Buddy messed up

Poor buddy lost it

Like…. [While you type, lemme just say how much I hate how Axel's immediate response is "I knew it"]  What pisses me offf is axel doesn’t even care about any of it.  Just that he was right.  [SBC, but I wish it weren’t]  Like this isn’t about justice for the dead people. It’s ohhhhh I don’t like you and you ended up being the bad guy.  This is what I mean with they handled it bad.  [Definitely agree.  We’ll talk more at endpoint reaction.]

[That went well]  That went boom

Bruh.  He just doesn’t die

Ew; no one cares about yall’s love.  [HE WAS CHEATING ON HER A DAY AGO]

🙂 He lives

That look

– – –

Endpoint Reaction:

Jezebel: Instead of Axel being the jealous whatever-he-was, he should have been Tom’s best friend. They leave ‘cause they think the guy’s killed him. And then get together because he disappears. Even if the cheating still happens, it takes away that the “bad guy gets the girl and the good guy’s the bad guy” taste.  That alone would have made it a little easier to watch and made it to where you could be happy they get away.  

Wench: Agreed

Jezebel: Because the way it’s handled almost feels like this whole movie victim-blamed Tom into insanity and thus turned him into the thing he tried to get them to see he wasn’t.  Also the whole “he was in an asylum” thing seemed so “we gotta explain why he’s got this split personality” so they threw it in, when they could have I dunno showed it in a two minute clip

Wench: Yeah

Jezebel: But the gore was 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 hard to watch but made it scary enough in that sense.  And there was a full on nekked woman running around.  It wasn’t horrible! But yeah. It’s up there with Friday the 13th on killers I side with

Wench: So, you know I have a fondness for this film.  But it's very much a "I know it's not good and watch anyway" kind of fondness, mixed with the tastes that leads people to watch, for example... revenge stories.  I recognize that Tom's the "bad guy" of the film, and I also recognize that some of the people he killed weren't people who deserved it.  But I also can't stop myself from rooting for him, and that --- the fact that he makes it to the end, for example --- is a large part of the fondness.  It's like Law Abiding Citizen, where the "bad guy" is nonetheless the one you root for.

Jezebel: LAW ABIDING CITIZEN OOOOOH I LOVE THAT ONEEEE

Wench: Yesss

Also Wench: But it also pisses me off because of a number of things (some of which you covered).  If the town as a whole --- his alleged friends, family, partners, etc --- had bothered to check in with him instead of villainizing him, the entire movie (or, at least, all but the first ten minutes) might not have happened.  He didn't leave out of the blue, and it's stupid that they act like he did.  He left because, in close proximity: a) the entire town turned against him for a mistake --- a costly mistake, sure, but nonetheless, an accident --- that they apparently ranked as on-par with the serial-killing miner who slaughtered a whole hospital and a college party of some kind, b) said miner tried to kill him, c) his friends left him behind for said miner to kill him, and then d) said miner got shot in front of him at extremely close quarters.  Buddy didn't leave for the fun of it; buddy was confined to a mental institution because he had some combination of a mental breakdown and/or a dissociative identity split.  To the point that he's still chugging meds in the movie and showing signs of both PTSD and a related panic disorder of some kind (at least to my amateur eyes)

Jezebel: Right!!?! Any of those alone would cause a person to snap!

Wench: Axel isn't a good guy, and he's not even a flawed hero.  He's an outright asshole.  He acts completely out of jealousy, marries a woman simply because he'd been envious of her and Tom's previous relationship but now Tom wasn't in his way, cheats on her despite them having a son together, and is controlling and possessive to a dangerous level at all times.

Jezebel: 100% agree with it all!

Wench: Actually, I just realized a thing.  If you take this story.  And put it in slightly different terms.  You get:

There's a group of friends.  This group includes Friend 1, who is in a relationship with Friend 2, and Friend 3.  Friend 3 is jealous of the relationship between Friend 1 and 2.

Through some combination of Friend 3's actions and an external entity, Friend 1 is removed from the equation.

Friend 3 uses this as an opportunity to fulfill the jealousy and start a relationship with Friend 2

Friend 1, meanwhile, gets incarcerated somewhere for a great many years, with better or worse periods of sanity/lucidity, before getting out and going back to hometown

Friend 2 and Friend 3's relationship has soured, since the jealousy didn't last past the initial pursuit success

Friend 1 slowly but surely takes revenge against various people in hometown

And that’s the story of The Count of Monte Cristo.

Jezebel: Ooh!  I gotta say, I was so lost at first.

Wench: The point is: The Count is the protagonist of the story, and, while he’s not a pure “good guy,” he’s definitely the best of the initial characters (e.g. pre-Chateau D’If).  So, yeah, the terms change a bit with the many murders of this film, as well as the fact that not everyone harmed by Tom was problematic, but, in terms solely of character archetypes, plotlines, etc… Tom is “the good guy” of the story.  And he got, as you put it, the short end of the stick for the entire plot.  He deserved to not have it happen again, instead of having the blame of the entire town actually portrayed as “deserved.”

Jezebel: Side-tracking a bit because: Another thing is it, would have been better to have the killer actually be Axel or one of the older men, or even the girl.  Or the other cop.  It being Tom just 😮‍💨😮‍💨 it but a bad taste in my mouth (I think I already said this lol but it did).  But also it being Tom would have had a poeticness about it under different circumstances, if he wasn’t already painted as h the villain.  Like, maybe axel thought it was him but the rest of the town was like “tommy?! Our boy!? Nooooo way”  Then it being him would have been like “TOMMY?! NO WAY!! MY BOY!”

Wench: Yeah, that’s fair… When I first watched the film, I knew they were going to make Tom the bad guy ahead of time, but I still wanted him to be right that it was Axel instead.  Anything else to add?

Jezebel: Nope!  Just that it was a’ight!  And Ackles was *chef’s kiss* as always

[farawayeyes4]

Weekly Research Update

I’m hoping to commit to posting an update on my research progress once a week.

I’m currently researching for three separate books on fandom. One is an essay collection, one is an On This Day in Fandom History concept, and one examines Foundational Fandoms in depth from the good, the bad, the ugly (and sometimes the outright weird).

This week, I finished Pamela (Or Virtue Rewarded) by Samuel Richardson. This book originally debuted in 1740 and can be seen as the beginning of modern fandom as it had all the trappings of parody/fanfic, letters sent to the author and back, merchandise targeting the audience, and more. It’s also, in my view, the Fifty Shades of Grey of its day.

Pamela is a poor servant girl who is being sexually harassed (and assaulted at one point) by her Master in Mr. B. It’s rather a slog to get through not just because of this content but because it’s mostly in walls of text with the dialogue all jumbled into paragraphs and with 18th century spelling and idiom. Essentially, Pamela only wants to go home to her parents and forget all about Mr. B. He won’t let her. Just when she thinks she’ll get to go home, she’s whisked away not to her parents but to another estate of Mr. B’s and held captive there by other servants at Mr. B’s command. He visits and assaults her and hounds her and is overall an asshole to her.

This is a romance, though, so we know how this ends. That’s right? Pamela is so virtuous and holds out against all the crap Mr. B. does to her and is rewarded by being proposed to, which Pamela happily accepts. She is an honest woman and it is her duty to make Mr. B. a better man and she’ll happily marry him. Once they are married, Pamela suddenly goes from resistant to Mr. B. to “I will do anything you command, your will is my will” type thing. It’s the type of thing we see with Christian and Ana in Fifty Shades. Mr. B.’s sister is unimpressed by Pamela and there’s another whole ordeal where she’s held captive by the sister and she has to prove that they’re really together. In the end? They’re happily ever after, Pamela’s parents are richly rewarded, and they have babies galore.

Blech. But I have to read the other stuff about it because really? It’s part of fandom history even if it’s not in the truest modern sense.

My other angle is to tackle Harry Potter as one of the Spotlights. That means all of the good, bad, UGLY, (and weird) and I’m amassing quite a little book collection. Oh boy. It’s been interesting and while I do NOT approve of or agree with She Who Must Not Be Named whatsoever, Harry Potter is part of fandom history and I want to understand it and how it plays a role in the greater realm of overall fandom. So that’s been fun.

So, that’s where I am for this week.

[that-sarcastic-optimist]

The amount of spit I spray while furiously saying POTTER is quite astonishing. I wonder how people near Tom Felton didn’t get soaked while he said it.

[flowerpottlady]

Greetings And Salutations fellow potterheads

(Nerdy introduction I know but whatever, I am 28 and just joined tumblr to feed my Harry Potter obsession)

My name is Katie and I was brought here thanks to the Marauders tiktok… and the blvnk-art Hinny on my Pinterest feed.

Anyway I haven’t been on tumblr in almost 8 years and thought I should give it a go again for some inspiration and support for the wip I currently have going for July 31st!

Currently OBSESSED with Hinny and Jily so send your fav fic recommendations my way :)