#hard to find. augh
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#JOB SEARCHING ON INDEED IS HELL I CANT EVEN GET PAST STEP 1.#how do i even pick what to apply for idek what 99% of these listings are talking about.#and 99.9% of them are scams im sureand im too stupit to sniff them out#talkys#the issue is i dont even Need a remote job as a whole#but i do need one while i live here bc taking comms pays more than any of the physical location jobs in my area#ykwim.#i need a remote job in order to save more to move out and maybe get a better one that is or isnt remote. and its#hard to find. augh#doesnt help that my home also sucks for remote job what with constant noise#like what else can i do. im not taking an $8/hr job here.#maybe i jst need to keep saving with comms...#figure smthng out. idk. but then ill just stay here forever bc i dont think i could find a job thatd help me move out to work at a new loca#ion ykwim#I WILL KEEP LOOKING o7
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visit
#kylux#kylo ren#armitage hux#still learning their faces... augh...#didnt draw their gloves simply bc i missed shading hands i apologise orz#one thing i am struggling with but find very interesting#is how drawing kylo it seems he is made of all these harsh dark lines#with very high contrast#vs hux who has much less contrast and looks weird w heavy dark lines#so it's hard to bridge the gap stylistically between the two of them#hopefully i will figure it out...#BUT it is a very enticing difference#my art#also since im late to the actual game of making kylux art i will probably be retreading sooo much ground#🫡 nothing i can do about it... bc i want to retread classics....
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i thought / m a n / these girls are quite heartless 🤣 when i accepted the quest at /clearly/ inconvenient time to swim & dive
#the lake was like a pool of darkness at night; and i had to get him swim to the center of it; so far away from the surface#it was so scary; as if he will just disappear & never come back to the surface once i let him dive in; to the darkness#poppy sweeting#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hogwarts legacy mc#fanart#grace pinch smedley#The Lost Astrolabe#Nerida Roberts#Merky Depths#animagus has no business having to be so hard to achieve........... ; i would want to turn to animals too..........#but the process is sooooooo elaborate........ ; i would choke a thousand times on the mandrake leaf ;#& one of them would get to the wrong pipe and end me before i achieve anything ...............................#anyhow imagining everyone as animals is just like what floyd does; as a mermaid; giving everyone nicknames as sea creatures#there was a manga where everyone can turn into animals but this one boy that has social difficulty i think; i wonder if i can find it again#i think it had not been updated for the longest time#augh also reminds me of 0ki from 0kami#i envy him and the 0ina people who can transform into dogs#i am off to watch the rest of br1dgeton episodes of season 3
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What would each of the science gangs theme songs be? like ignoring the existence of the undertale OST
Oh...that is a hard question...
OKAY, I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS A LOT AND IT'S VERY HARD TO DECIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Uhm
I don't know if I can choose one definitive theme song for them tbh... because I ALWAY change what songs remind me of them
But I'll try to mention some songs that remind me of them rn (theme songs are such a big responsibility)
Okay so you all know "Slipping through my fingers" by ABBA reminds me of Sans
"I'M SANE" by AXIE reminds me of Wingdings ( IN VIBES and changing what certain lyrics mean to something else )
But... uh, not current wingdings, more like, later on Wingdings
For Alphys' song, it doesn't apply right now either, but "Taking what's not yours" reminds me slightly of her c:
(BUT PRETEND IT'S NOT A ROMANTIC SONG! It's so hard finding songs about relationships that aren't romantic guys... it's a struggle...friendships are underrated, says me being aromantic)
Okay, so, not the science gang! But!
Right now "Language of the lost" by Riproducer reminds me a lot of Papyrus c:
I don't have a song for Flowey in this AU,, (Sorry buddy...)
#augh this is harddddddd#There's so many songs that remind me of them it's hard choosing oneeeeee#so I just chose at random#guys it's so hard finding songs that are about platonic relationships I HAVE to complain about that#sigh#anyways#YEAAHH I FINALLY ANSWERED THIS ASK AFTER WEEKS I AM SO SORRY FOR ANSWERING IT SOOO LATE#I WAS STRUGGLING PICKING SONGS#answered ask
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Why must the medication give me other mental health issues. I trade the Big Sad for the No Sleep and it gives me more Big Sad
#mayhaps it might be best to switch medication who knows#bones rants#anti depressants u have failed me#I can’t take melatonin bc I tried a bunch of shooters with twin to try to find out what types of hard liquor we like and I don’t wanna#absolutely destroy my liver that’s a big no no#I shall simply wait till the eepy and yet my hands are so so so much so in pain bc I’ve yet to sleep and they need a solid 8 hours of rest#before they won’t hurt for the entire next day (maybe. solid 25/75 chance it’ll help)#Augh owchy#fuck it I have some edibles and those normally make me sleepy so ig that’s what I can take. gn
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apartment hunting lead me to a job interview tomorrow, wish me luck 🙏😭
#it just happened out of the blue??? so basically the gist of it was that i was handing documents on behalf of my mom and one of the people#in the office just went 'u can work for us here'#and i went huh?!?!?!?!!? but i mean hey why not. it's a great opportunity#might hold off on uni if i do get this job (which i hope i do augh please 🙏🙏😭😭😭)#aparently one who offered me the job was a recruiter so that explains it#i feel so nervous tho i mean it wont be the end of the world if i dont get it but i just hope i dont mess it up#i alr met the person whos gonna interview me he seems like a great dude too im just super fucking anxious aughhvghnhgv#that's it for the small update i swear more art soon a lot has been happening lately so yk its kinda hard to find time to finish things#frambling...?
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fun fact: "cherub" likely didn't originally describe a little angel baby -- it comes from the hebrew word "keruv" which, in jewish mythology (according to my rabbi mom, anyway), is much more like a sphinx: an angel with the front half of a lion, the back half of a bull, the face of a human, and wings!
so here is my doodley little cherub creature... with a lamb in back instead of a bull! and with rosy cheeks and a halo too, to be like modern depictions of cherubim for fun. my mom just recently learned what a furry is and said if i were an animal i'd be a cherub (mainly because of my mane-like golden hair)... she might be right!
#dandy's doodles#it is so hard to draw a mane you have no idea!! augh!!!#anyway i love love love my sweet dragon but i'm being indecisive...!#and at least for a cherub i can justify it existing in our world. cuz i'm jewish and i can believe in angels if i so choose#i think angels wouldn't look like anything we can comprehend so they'd just approximate themselves with earthly parts for our mortal eyes#hence chimera sorts of things :) cool beasts#i don't know i tried looking around online for the kind of sphinxy cherub my mom was describing but i didn't find too much#a little bit on wikipedia i guess. nobody's quite sure what cherubim look like but this is what my mom thinks... and i like it!!!#oh and she says seraphim are winged serpents... so dragons! dragons!! dragons!!!
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I feel like out of all the layers of secrets and concealment Klein hides, the people that would probably be shocked the most if those secrets ever comes to light would be the Moretti siblings.
Imagine you have a brother. Brother was going to go find a typical 9-5 job, but then he suddenly “finds a better job” and boom all your livelihoods improve ‘cause of his earnings. He also starts to cook really well, but you chalk it down to him learning from his friend’s chef. Then one day, he dies on duty. You mourn for him and miss him desperately. You move to a bigger city and occasionally feel like he’s still around, but all you ever see are the new names popping up in the newspaper, such as Gehrman Sparrow, while you focus and continue on your life.
Then, somehow, years into the future, you find out he’s not dead. His grave is literally empty. Not only that, he’s also the great detective of the capital of your literal country, the crazy adventurer feared by pirates, the tycoon who was generous but mysterious and reserved, and a wandering magician granting wishes. Also, he’s a GOD. GOD. OF. A. LITERAL. CHURCH. Then you find out that HE’S NOT EVEN YOUR BROTHER. The brother you grew up with is long dead. It’s a stranger who has been and assimilated into his body and mind since the day your brother died. Oh yeah, that friend he said was the reason he’s a good cook? That friend has been dead even before your “brother”. And you swore you knew him well. He was a history student trying to get a good job for the future. What in the Evernight Goddess’ divine kingdom happened? Oh, yeah, speaking of Evernight, your “brother” is “Her” blessed. By the way, he still hasn’t gone to the theatre with you like he promised.
I don’t know how Melissa managed to find out The Fool = Klein (maybe some angel told her in a dream or Klein directly told her idk) but I can’t even comprehend how she managed to process that information. Like imagine waking up one day and finding out a close relative of yours presumed dead is now a deity. It’s definitely not an average Tuesday afternoon thing.
#lord of the mysteries#lotm#lotm with their secrets makes me crack up or sit in awe every time one gets exposed#This is why I love hall of truth lmao#Moretti siblings makes me feel pain#augh my heart#why#just go to the goddamn theatre with them Klein it’s not that hard#No you cannot be on stage sit in the fucking audience and be a spectator#You can’t say some poetic shi like “oh but the world is a stage so I’m already at the theatre with them” NO. WATCH A PLAY WITH THEM.#Moretti siblings ACTUAL PHYSICAL REUNION WHEN#Idk how Klein will safely interact with them again but please find a way graft something idk dnhdsjksjsijs#I understand why rereaders appreciate Vol 1 now#lotm spoilers
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how. do u sona....
#i want to give myself a solid sona that. isnt just me with puppy dog ears and a tail slapped on but its hardddd#i want to make like a snowman that can change shape but it keeps certain features like branch antlers and a carrot nose#for consistency yk. but im struggling to find a balance between smth i like drawing and smth that looks like me#how often does one's sona resemble the artist irl.. for one i dont have bangs but i love drawing characters with bangs#so its just an internal conflict on if i should give my sona bangs if i dnt have them but love drawing them. etc etc#maybe im thinking abt this too hard bc nobody really knows what i look like anyway and i can do what i want anyway#but i get hung up on small details like that. like im worrying abt stuff like damn how tf am i gonna draw a snowman in the summer#girl... its a fuckig drawing.... follow your heart. but also HOW. i cant even draw myself with bangs bc it feels like im lying augh auuhggg#its 4 am im too tired for this. im goig to bed#my art#myart#doodles#wip
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Finrey…
#TEEHEE :33#he’s a devil’s hole pupfish#bright colors#hlvrai#hlvrai benrey#evilsoda.art#also it is so hard to find fish furries like 😭😭 AUGH
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wiggles my fingers at you ouuuu… you want to tell me about solace so bad…
HKJGG wiggles my fingers back lovingly!!! i really do, i fuckin LOVE solace :3 hey did you know i really like making fake skill descriptions?
SOLACE
Follow the north star. Find light in even the darkest places. Cool for: Optimists, Recovering lost souls, Sweet summer children
Solace is the skill you tucked away long ago, at the bottom of Pandora's box. The little one that tells you: despite it all, there is still hope. It needs a lot of nurturing -- and it's far from being the most helpful for police work -- but taking care of it is basically self-care. It enables you to find the glow in yourself that you often ascribe to gold lungs or brilliant halos in others. It encourages you to wake up and watch the sunrise, to play board games with someone you love, to forgive yourself and let yourself be a gentler kind of animal. Constantly looking forward to a brighter future, it also helps shield your morale from damage.
At high levels, Solace gives you a heightened sense of childlike optimism - which isn't always the sense to lead with in this precariously harsh world. Always looking for the bright side will blindside you with naivety. At low levels, however, you may just extinguish whatever keeps your soul alight. You've already lost her once. You may not survive the desolation if you let her disappear again.
#i wanted to draw a skill portrait for her for this but [gestures vaguely at life] i hope this is cool enough hkjgkj <33#solace is truly voli's ''keep going. there's still hope for us'' and echem's ''we can be happy again! let's go find joy wherever we can''#this is why i keep saying she's their kid hkjgh she covers the happy medium of both of their ideologies. hope for a happier future.#harry goes to the store and finds a pair of pink heart shades that gives her ''+1 Rose Colored Glasses'' :3#i feel like theres some mechanic that keeps her from gaining too many points. a locked skill cap or maybe she can lose skill points??#hm. considers this.#echem voice ''i can't believe i'm saying this but we really can't drink alcohol anymore. it's bad for the baby :(''#ALSO. THIS IS ONE OF MY MORE SELF INDULGENT WORKS SO IF IT SEEMS OOC IN ANY WAY THAT'S BC THIS IS MY COMFORT FIC HGKJKJ#i know sometimes i write skill relationships too sweet and the world too kind and the game too unrealistically...#i know shivers said the end of the world is in 22 years. i know being a revachol cop would kill solace. i know alcoholism is hard to kick#and dora still haunts us. i know life is so hard and there is so much that kills hope and that the pale is going to swallow elysium. i know#but isn't disco elysium about how the world is awful and corrupt and futile but there is still beauty and worth to living in it?#the sky. the world. you're still alive. after death; life again. one day i will return to your side. sunrise parabellum.#the phasmid exists. the pale can be fought back with art. the city's alive and she told us she loves us. and solace believes there is hope.#augh idk man hjlkjg just don't want to lean into the ''young witch trying to find a cat in the alps'' bullshit lmao FUCK that </3#i just think harry deserves a hope skill.#volta transmissions#inland drabbles#task: when two skills love each other very much
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Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared
#i like siting down with a guitar and writing music but the daw is still so scary to me and i dont know how to make it less scary#its like i dont know where to start#i understand music theory i can write chord progressions i can write melodies but arranging feels so daunting#like just trying to pick keyboard voices and stuff im like overwhelmed and then its like i just dont even know where to start#i think i need to do more covers to practice arranging because trying to do it with my own songs im just like i have NO IDEA#i do think that trying to recreate arrangements of other songs I like will help me but also just idk#i really want to get better at writing at the piano but i find it really hard#rn i write almost all my songs on the guitar then i guess what i have to do is try to think of like what style i want it to have#and sort of try to create a map like probably literally on paper and then try to go in and sort of do it but god its so hard i dont know#it feels so so daunting#even trying to make silly little stuff with just like some synths is really hard for me right now its so out of my comfort zone and AUGH id#its frustrating im scared of the computer but i also very much do not want to be an acoustic singer songwriter but thats all i can do#because all i can do is play fucking guitar!!!! and its just so frustrating#technically im like with a midi controller i should be able to do whatever program drums write little synth lines etc i dont have to like#know how to play piano and yet whenever i try to do it i just get so overwhelmed and freaked out with how many possibilities there are#that i just . cannnnnt#AHGHHHHHHHHHHHH im so im in such a bad mood right ow#ive had such a horrible night honestly#i think i will just go engage in fixation for comfort and then go to bed sigh#i dont know what to do to improve at making music in the daw i guess ill just maybe try again this weekend to take another crack at it#god its just so frustrating that i only started writing songs 2 years ago and have only learned to use a daw in the last 3 months i WISH#that i was one of these teenagers who spent all my time writing silly songs and playing around with a midi controller but i just didnt#because i was scared!!!!!!!#playing the guitar and singing has always been like the only thing that felt safe cos i felt if i tried to actually write and arrange songs#by myself i would fail so now i just feel so frustrated because i dont feel like a real musician and i feel like im starting too late#AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever sorry for using the tags of this post as my diary but#i am frustrated!!!!
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how do you think Vriska would solve the trolly problem
there was one post that i cannot find for the life of me that said vriska would attempt to solve the trolley problem in the most grandiose way possible, doing some crazy multi-track drifting and end up killing everyone including the passengers and herself in the process
but at least the explosion looks cool
#vriska serket#mod 8#homestuck#daily vriska serket#vriska#daily vriska#homestuck vriska#vriska homestuck#fr someone help me i tried so hard 2 find that post augh
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wanting to avoid the infantilization of adult characters vs the deeply compelling nature of "they never really got to grow up."
#acting much like a kid in that they dont understand how things and concepts connect#acting much like a kid in that they never had the chance to learn and play and thus react to things like a nervous animal#acting much like a kid in that they dont understand their own agency and thus over or undershoot their reactions to situations#acting much like a kid in that they are desperate for recognition and appreciation through any means necessary#[inhale] BUT THEN THE HORRORS..#piktalk#longer inhale .#angela is a character i so often find myself wanting to explore this concept with because so much of her hinges in such an interp#both in terms of learning to live and literally not having a childhood; the easy lines to draw re: ''parental figures'' in team abc#(<- COMPLICATED COMPLICATED HEAVILY SIMPLIFIED FOR BREVITY)#but also its such a difficult and finicky line to balance that its so hard to not have it feel degrading or minimalizing#if that makes sense.#because with talking about th concept of 'childishness' people tend to extrapolate 'foolishness' which isnt!!! right!!!#'foolishness' or 'helplessness' or god forbid 'innocence' NOT !! what were doing here!! but its so hard t describe.. augh. the horrors. etc#anyway.
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Attention moots!! Guess who just got ✨injured✨
Ahem :3 so uhhh for starters: I've had a cold for the last couple days, nothing too major, just a sore throat and a stuffy nose. but i haven't really had an appetite for the duration of it, skipping out on meals and snacking on light foods. I also happen to have an Iron deficiency, which happens so make me lightheaded and dizzy if I don't get enough filling food
The problem becomes apparent pretty quickly when I put it like this, but just let me explain to you the events of earlier today:
Since I at least had the brainpower to know I needed to eat something besides trail mix and tea, I was in the kitchen making myself lunch like I normally do; when I suddenly felt myself becoming dizzy. I sat down as soon as possible to avoid fainting in the middle of the kitchen, and tried to steady myself. A few moments into this, I realized my food was going to overcook if I didn't get it out of the pot right then.
So I did probably the dumbest thing I could've done in that situation.
I stood up quickly, giving myself an immediate head rush, and blacked out.
I regained consciousness to see my step-dad cushioning my head with a hoodie he found, (I was on the floor) my mum kneeling next to him and frantically asking if i was okay while putting some kind of ointment on me, and feeling a dull pain on my right arm and face.
When I had blacked out, i was already reaching for the pot before toppling over, so as I did that, I splashed the entire right side of my face in boiling ramen water, along with grazing my knuckles on the high heat burner on my way down.
My mum took care of me after that, giving me some high-in-iron snacks to munch on and a painkiller for the burns.
All things considered, Im quite lucky that there were people around when I went down- my stepdad made sure I didn't completely faceplant into the pot, and if my mum hadn't put the ointment (honey) on me as soon as she did, i likely woulda had a gnarly burnscar on my face. My hand got the brunt of the trauma, and it most definitely will scar, but id rather it be my hand than the alternative.
Soo yeah ,:3 I'm okay now, but damn if I didn't scare the ever loving shit outta my family lmao believe it or not, this is,,,, not the first time I've straight up fainted actually- definitely one of the worst times, but yeahh ^^'
#sorry if this post is kinda hard to read#i guess il find out tomorrow :∆#lol#augh#i have.... no cluw how to tag this#uhh#important#storm rambles
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I mean sure sex is cool........ but have u ever had a kind, meaningful, and thoughtful exchange with an author in the comments section of AO3? Unparalleled. Dopamine thru the roof.
#for real though#especially if u have like an ongoing convo chapter to chapter#or u mention smthn theyre proud of or worked hard on#and theyre like#thanks for noticing!!! I was worried or insecure it wouldnt turn out good and ur comment gave me confidence and affirmation#and I JUST GET SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT INTERACTION#AUGH#LIKE YEAH#thank u for creating!!! i support u!!!#and theyre like omg human connection thru storytelling and#positive feed back on story craft elements AND LIKE YEAH I LOVE IT#moments like these i miss being a creative writing tutor#those were the days#loved seeing people grow and feel confident about experimenting#to help them find their creative space and drive
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