#happy to contribute to the cause of not being a part of that at least SDKFJHD

[lesbianherald]

Ahhh I’m sorry I did not intend this as psychological torment! if it helps anything Harry Potter related seems to be a beast that cannot be defeated. although, and this I think is hilarious - you’ve beaten Dan and Phil by a landslide.

i hope you realize this is literally me right now I simply cannot comprehend the things you are telling me

[alexander-23]

Come Home

A/N: This made me so happy to write because I’ve missed writing and I know what happens next since it’s my story lol. Anyways, sorry for any grammar issues, I’ve got the sprinkle of dyslexia and such and messes with me lol. Part two is coming soon!

TW: angst, mention of torture, mention of injuries, fluff, fear, comment if I missed anything please

Masterlist

Not many know, but Ambessa and I have been an item for quite some time now. At first, the secrecy was due to the fling, then emotions taking hold and she couldn't risk the damage to her reputation, now it's to keep me from being a pawn in war against her. I understand, if I was in her position and they took her from me, I'd be weak, my emotions coming into play, controlling my actions. I would do anything, even lose a war and all power if it meant she was alive and safe. I understand Ambessa’s need for secrecy. We simply want to protect each other this way, and it works for us.

Ambessa is extra protective of me because I’m not like her, not a fighter. I know enough to defend myself until I can get help, it was a requirement from Ambessa, to ease her nerves. She is the all mighty warlord of Noxus, feared by many, and she has many enemies. Ambessa was the one to train me until she was satisfied with my skill level. If I was a soldier of hers, she would have pushed me harder, but when I reasoned with her, she understood my role in war was far from enemy lines, a safer place where fighting was barely even needed, at least for her army. I played my part in wars though, typically her strategist, and a good one at that. Ambessa appreciates my input when planning, I always think of things she doesn't, my mind thinking of things that would keep her safe when she is fighting for her life and victory. War strategy was never something I saw myself doing, but it became a talent when I realized I enjoyed the research; more so when it meant I was contributing to the protection of my love.

The day of the war was stressful to say the least. Ambessa always gives me five minutes to share my feelings, my concerns and clingy behavior, talking through my anxiety about her going into battle, scared she won't come back. She knows my concern isn't about my belief in her abilities, but rather the fears that scream in my head out of love for her. She displays a gentleness no one else has ever seen, something for my eyes only. Cupping of my cheek, arm around my torso that pulls me close, and her soothing voice reassuring me of her return, but validating my feelings. She will pepper my face with kisses before I help her with her armor, and her with mine. This was a month ago and the last time I saw her.

While she was fighting, a team made a strike on us in our camp, taking me as well as a few others. I don’t remember much of the ambush, just some yelling, a hit to the back of my head, then everything went black. Now its a month later and I'm stumbling through the battlefield. I can feel the dirt under my bare feet, a cool breeze causing a shiver to run through my body. They had stripped me of my armor and kept it, the armor Ambessa had made specially for me, an extra layer of protection from weapons and any environment our battles brought us to. I’m thinner from the lack of food I was given to scrounge on when they felt it was time to feed me, which wasn’t often enough. My body is covered in cuts and bruises from the interrogations as they called them trying to get information out of me, but I gave them nothing. I’m frigid, weak, and exhausted, but I push on, determined to get back to the love of my life, my safe haven.

When I look up, I can see our base camp far in the distance, it’s so close, but so far still. Smoke rises from what must be fires in the camp, and torches at the entrance to the camp. I want to scream out for help, anything to get their attention, but I can’t. My voice is so weak from my screams of pain when I was being tortured, my voice doesn’t even reach five feet in front of me, but I keep trying.

“Hel-“ *I immediately cough, but try again, “Help”.

I can just barely see movement up by the entrance, hoping they will see me and help me. I keep pushing forward, scared as my vision starts to blur.

“H-help”

The edges of my vision start to fade and I trip over my feet and fall to the ground, too weak to move again.

“H-h-help”

I look towards the camp while I lie on the ground, my eyes are starting to water. My eyes shut for a long period of time, but when I finally open them again, I see a shadowed figure running towards me. Tears stream down my cheeks as they get close, but my vision starts to go black again.

[tealvenetianmask]

I had a think, and this is an ouchy and complicated one, but I have to share it.

We see Stolas's disrespect for Blitz (based on social class/race) in their first night together in The Circus . . . and he's not fully conscious of it, but it's not quite oblivious either. The TLDR is that I think he likes the power gap at the beginning, or at least, he finds it comforting.

Look at this adorable happy guy.

I saw some discussion recently of how trusting he is of Blitz very quickly in this scene, and how that might stem from Blitz asking him what he wants, which Stella never did . . . and, yeah, I think that contributes to him being so excited here, along with just being very into Blitz and the whole scenario (these ideas are really well explained by multiple people here).

He's willing to be tied up by a near stranger, and that might seem like a giant leap of trust, but also, in a sense it's really not. The difference in power makes that trust a smaller leap. Stolas KNOWS that he's much more powerful than Blitz and can stop this at ANY TIME. And I don't mean he'd have to obliterate the guy (though he could). He could literally portal Blitz outside and evaporate the restraints. At any time.

And he doesn't immediately decide to go for it when Blitz asks what he wants. He's all in when Blitz starts taking charge and acting without his permission. You know, while trying to incapacitate and rob him.

Okay, you might say, but Stolas isn't thinking about the power difference, and trusting someone to call the shots in an intimate situation STILL requires a lot of trust.

Here's the thing- I still think that the sense of safety stems at least in part from Blitz being an imp. Throughout a lot of Season 1, Stolas is still referring to Blitz by variants of "impish little plaything," frequently, and I can't help but think that's part of the appeal.

Stella is very likely less physically/magically powerful than Stolas (indicated by her lower status), but she holds SOCIAL power over him.

Blitz holds no concrete power at all in this relationship. I don't think we can fully separate the safety Stolas feels with Blitz that first night from this fact, and . . . well, it's better to address social class late than never I guess . . . But early on, there is literally nothing Blitz can do to Stolas. On the surface.

But wait . . . there's that "first ever friend" thing . . .

And I think that's what it comes down to. Being intimate with Blitz is safe, because he's just an imp. But being intimate with Blitz is MEANINGFUL from the very beginning because Stolas feels an emotional connection.

Safe and meaningful come together and lead him to romanticize the fuck out of this. And that's what causes him to fall ass backwards into deep romantic love and put himself at risk for being hurt in a brand new way.

[local-lamppost]

Maddie and Caitlyn and Piltover

Probably the most jarring twist of the Act was Maddie and Caitlyn's relationship. It seemed very sudden, until you take a look into the few lines from her in Act 1 and realize they all centered around Caitlyn. That Maddie was the first Piltie to 'dedicate her heart' to Caitlyn with Noxus. Maddie likes Vi because Caitlyn vouched for her and deems her 'one of the good ones' because of Caitlyn.

Let's talk about Maddie: she's an average young Piltie. She's Cait's age, give or take, and feels hurt both by the recent Zaun attacks and Marcus' betrayl. Caitlyn is the first person after all this that is trying to do something to fix the mess. Cait's a Kiramman, an inspiration, a fighter, and kinda sorta pretty. Maddie was starry eyed by Cait and couldn't see any problems with her actions or flaws because of this. When given the option to have Cait lead, she jumps at the chance.

Maddie is something of a trick with her introduction. She doesn't have a personal stake like Vi or Cait, isn't there to look after her new buddy like Loris (until told otherwise he is there just cause he is Vi's old man friend); she believes in combating Jinx. Peacekeeping in Zaun with gas and hextech weapons to go after one person, but oh isn't she so cute? Introduced in a halo of sunlight and being so sweet to Vi?

Maddie is a proud Piltie, who feels betrayed by Marcus and the Undercity, who wants to punish them and rebuild her home in topside. And yes, she feels betrayed by the Undercity, she consider's it a part of Piltover one way or another, and most topsider's are ignorant of why Zaunites are so upset with them. To Maddie, these attacks came out of left field.

What's interesting is that Maddie is anti-Ambessa, or at least pro-Caitlyn. You could see this as her being a moderate. She tells Cait that she can withdraw from Zaun and reestablish the council, but ends that statement by reaffirming Caitlyn as their leader, "The Enforcers, Piltover... I follow you". Cait and her military rule makes Maddie feel safe and proud in her city.

Onto Cait. Yeah, Cait's not necessarily using Maddie, but she is utilizing her. She's learned from her percieved mistakes/weaknesses and is keeping her work and personal life seperate. They have sex and talk about the state of the city, but Cait never talks about her feelings with Maddie as she did with Vi. Cait's an emotional person too. She was always quick to express herself to Vi, to Ekko, to her mother and father, to Jayce; but she is hurt and alone and can contribute both of those facts to her emotions (sans Jayce).

Begs the question of why Cait is sleeping with Maddie? But even that is simply her coping. It's her version of Vi drinking and fighting. It's stress relief and a quick way to at least make someone else happy. Cait also likes touch, so it stands to reason she'd find someone in her isolated state (Vi pushed away, father a living ghost, Jayce and Mel magiced away). Also, if Word of God is anything to go by, it's not out of character for Cait to find a pretty girl to fool around with.

Cait's main focus is still Jinx. Her mind is literally shown overlapping with her's. Maddie a tryst for the off hours, and even that's kept to the minimum as Cait would rather work than get any rest.

I do wish we could've gotten a scene of Cait replaying her interactions with Vi (think season 1 shower scene), but instead we have Maddie to contrast their relationship. Maddie is kind of the 'Piltover Approved' Vi; she's a red headed enforcer who loves her city, her council, the noble houses, and Caitlyn. She's safe and she's someone that Caitlyn doesn't have to put any excess energy into. Which must be gratifying for the surface levels of Cait's issues. Vi forces Cait to act better, to look inward and reflect, to consider other people and not just her own hurt (something season one Cait wouldn't have even needed another's help with).

The little detail of Vi not calling Cait a cupcake until episode 6 is also telling. At first it's likely Vi realizing the seriousness of everything, but it could also be that she disapproves of Cait's actions. Cait doesn't have that sweetness in her, or at least isn't allowing herself to act on it. When Vi does call her cupcake again it's not an endearment as it was by the end of season one, but a call out to what Cait has become.

Going forward, what's next? Vi and Cait aren't back together, but are together. They have to fight the Noxians (which was hinted at by Maddie herself) and help with the Arcane.

I kinda want Jinx to be the one to spell everything out to Cait; to tear her a new one. Jinx kept an eye on Vi during her pit fighter era, saw the drunk, broken mess that her sister became; a sister she is now on tentatively good terms with and will likely be a bit protective of after Isha. Something like, "I saw what happened to Vi after you guys split, she destroyed herself like you destroyed the city. I always thought I would be the one to break her, but you did a bang up job! Two of us have that in common, hurting Vi, but I'm trying now. So what does that say about you? None of this was Vi's fault, all she was trying to do was keep you from acting like me, ya know, deranged and violent? Huh, Vi-olent."

So in Act 3, Cait needs to be the one to get a kick in the ass and have that conversation with Vi. She needs to own up to her mistakes. How she was guilting Vi into the enforcers, how Vi was right about her loosing control and almost shooting a kid, maybe even for using Vi's affection for her against her. Vi will forgive her, she's Vi and has the self worth of a pebble, so long as Cait takes accountability and starts acting on any promises to change-again, why a shovel talk from Jinx could help set their relationship in the right direction.

[purityonice]

🩷💎 Floyd x Reader 💎🩷

Disclaimer: I wrote this at 3am sorry if its bad. ALSO PART 2 LATER

Your eyes met while on the first show of the tour, you were in the crowd eyes filled with admiration as he sang. His world stopped seeming as it was just you two in this huge concert hall. A spotlight on you as he began putting %110 into his preformance.

He felt his heart flutter everytime you fanned over him. Especially when it was just his solo preformances. [Which also unconsciously contributed to the downfall of their perfect family harmony.]

After everything went down hill due to John dory’s ignorance. He tried to grab onto the vine to prevent himself from falling off the stage missing it by a hair and falling into the crowd. Landing on top of you winding both of you in the process.

Feeling the soft body underneath him gasp for air as he scrambled off of the poor fan. His heart skipping a beat when he realised WHO he has landed on. His face heating up as he felt himself getting the preshow jitters.

Wiping his sweaty palms off as he extended a helping hand out towards you as you gaped in shock.

Like was this really happening right now?! your idol was really infront of you let alone OFFERING YOU TO TOUCH HIM!? GASP!!

Your mouth ran dry as you took his hand into yours pulling youself up as he apologised profusely as jealous fans watched from afar. Security came and took him away before you could even tell him that it was no big deal. He looked back at you as he was taken away lipping once more i’m sorry before being lead backstage.

You felt empty as everyone was asked to leave early dragging your feet behind you. As you were waiting outside for your ride you you were stopped by security as they told you to follow them. Not wanting to get in trouble you decided to go with them without any complications.

As you walked you notived that you were being taken backstage. Feeling excitement bubble inside of you at the thought of seeing Floyd and the rest of the BroZone gang ONE ON ONE. Skipping inside of the entrance as they stayed outside.

Seeing the familiar pink haired troll pacing nervously until he saw you. His eyes lighting up as he walked towards you asking if you were okay.

You reassured him that you were alright he sighed in relief.

“I- I’m sorry my brothers aren’t here… they’re just letting off some steam right now.” He sighed out looking up at you his face flushing as a dopey smile was plastered on your face.

“It’s alright! I’m just so happy I get to see you again Floyd!” You beamed as he softly smiled as he watched you fan over him. “So you were the one who asked me to come back stage?” You asked tilting your head as he nodded.

“Yeah I just feel really bad about the concert ending early AND you know…winding you.” He chuckled rubbing the back of his neck. “I can make it up to you?” He muttered looking into your eyes as you blushed.

“I-I no Floyd it’s okay everythings fine! I don’t mind it’s more of an honor!” You blerted out waving your hands in front of you. But Floyd moved closer.

“N-no I insist! its the least I could do It’s my treat.” Floyd spoke grabbing your hands and pulling you closer.

“ohmygodisthisreallyhappeningohmygod” You thought out loud causing Floyd to laugh. A blush spreading across your face unable to conjoin words so you just nodded. Floyd felt a smile grow on his face as he zoomed to his dresser grabbing a peice of paper and writing something down and zooming right back grabbing your hand gently and placing it into the palm of your hand.

“This is my number text me when you get home okay? I’ll plan something for us to do.” He looked into your eyes feeling himself heat up at the situation.

“YESOKAYTHANKYOUFLOYDOHMYGODILLDEFBETEXTINGYOULATER” You practically screamed out holding his number close to your chest looking at the time and feeling upset.

“You gotta go now huh?” You nodded disappointed exchanging goodbyes before walking out the door, before turning around and rushing over and giving him a hug before you left. Rushing out of the door and yelling a good bye as sqeals and giggles could be heard fading away into the distance.

Floyd shook his head as he let out a low chuckle and grabbing his phone after hearing a notification.

“Hey Floyd I know you said when I get home BUT I couldn’t wait so HI!!!”

Smiling to himself before responding quickly tapping away at his screen as he heard his brothers come back still arguing about what happened during the preformance.

[opultea]

Where’s My Kiss? - 2

Genshin men see you kiss something, and can’t help but want one for themselves… ft. Gorou, Wanderer

GN Reader (No Pronouns) - Romantic - Drabbles - Fluff, Angst w/ fluff ending (Wanderer) - SFW (very slightly suggestive at the end of Gorou's)

Word Count: 1.6k

Part 1 - ft. Dottore, Zhongli

Guest Staring - Tawara! Camp dog of the Watastumi Resistance. (Featured in the 2023 birthday art for Gorou, check it out if you haven't seen it!)

Gorou

The finality of the hard won end to the Vision Hunt Decree was an event celebrated by all of Inazuma, most of all the resistance of Watatsumi. Although despite the relief and happiness that the peace brought, there was also the struggle of readjustment. It was not easy coming down from the high tensions of war, and the army still had soldiers in excess. Many now contributed to the last relief efforts for struggling communities, and as reconnaissance units. This was the very task you and a very special operations officer were undertaking at present.

Tawara scouted ahead as you secured the empty battlefield. Many war torn plains were left with lasting remains of equipment and resources, of which you and your trusty camp dog were tasked with retrieving. Her Excellency wished to put the war in the past, and to move forward, there couldn’t be such reminders of the horrors endured during the time.

“Tawara! Where are you boy?” You called, hoping the sweet shiba hadn’t gone too far. A yip in the distance helped your eyes find the pup stood atop a small hill where the enemy camp would have been.

This particular battlefront had little left of the war, only a few broken weapons and cracked armour plates that weren’t considered worth salvaging when the camp was first emptied. You took stock of how much still lay in the field so you could get an accurate gauge of how many soldiers it would take to clean it up for good.

Tawara zipped down the hill and over to you, pressing his paw to your shin to gain your attention. Looking down, you smiled at the pup and the dendrobium he held in his mouth.

“For me?” Tawara carefully dropped the bloom at your feet and barked cheerfully, sitting and awaiting your reaction expectantly. “Aw, aren’t you just the sweetest,”

You knelt down and cooed at the camp dog’s cuteness, squishing his fluffy cheeks in your hands, causing Tawara’s tail to wag wildly behind him.

Plucking the dendrobium off the ground, you inspected the deep red bloom before your gaze drifted across the still-dead grass of the field. New shoots of green could be seen dotting the dry dirt, but there was no mistaking the ground flattened by the feet of soldiers. Perhaps Her Excellency would approve planting some dendrobiums in the field to restore and improve the area.

“You’re a true genius Tawara,” you smiled, smoothing the fur on his head with a well-deserved pat. You went a step further with your affections, clasping Tawara's face in your hands again to press a gentle kiss on his left and then his right ear, before landing one on his snout. You laughed as the pup licked your cheek in return.

Little did you know that another loving pupper was watching the whole affair with unidentified jealousy and a fluttering heart.

Gorou had been notified of your mission long before you set out to complete it, being the general. Although he admittedly preferred when the actions assigned to you could be carried out alongside him, or at least within the campgrounds. Being apart was never easy, even when he knew you would return eventually.

Today Gorou had been lucky enough to finish his reports early and decided that his free time may as well have been used to help you with your mission. He had no doubt in your abilities, but Gorou tended to miss you quickly, so you often received a helping hand from the doggy general even when you didn't need one.

Rounding the hill close to the old front, Gorou felt a streak of unease being back in a place where he had fought so viscously, but it was all washed away as soon as he saw you. His tail began to sway as he approached, watching you smile and interact with Tawara. Then he saw it.

Gorou’s left and then right ear twitched in unison with your kisses, his mouth agape and face flushed. You had never kissed his ears before. The general's ears continued to twitch as he imagined your lips touching them, the images in his mind sending another round of fluttering to his heart.

As Gorou stood frozen and red hot at the edge of the field, Tawara eventually noticed him, barking in recognition and bounding over to greet his superior officer. You followed closely behind, equally happy to find that your boyfriend had come to see you.

"Gorou! Done with your work already?" He didn't hear your question until he shook himself from his stupor. "You okay honey? You're all red,"

"Y-yes!" The confusion on your face caused Gorou's pause, his body fidgeting and eyes trying to latch onto something that could ground his thoughts. "I just, umm... do you think I could... no, never mind."

"Gorou," you gently took his cheek in your hand, placing the other on his chest. "We've talked about this; you know I'll never judge you for anything,"

Ears coming to lay on his head Gorou nodded, still blushing wildly as he finally found the courage to make his request.

"Could you... kiss my ears?"

You cooed quietly, heart overflowing with love for your sweet partner but trying not to embarrass him further. Taking his hands in your own, you kiss Gorou's ears twice each, trying not to giggle at the way they twitched each time.

As you brought yourself away, Gorou whimpered faintly, likely not on purpose.

"Come on, let's head back to camp. I have a report to give for this reconnaissance mission, and you have more kisses to gain, perhaps somewhere more private?"

You smiled demurely as Gorou blushed, swiftly nodding his head and following you and Tawara back to the camp with anticipation.

Wanderer

Now renowned scholar ‘Hat Guy’ was currently in class, despite his vehement protests towards attending formal lectures, leaving you alone in the home to tidy up the shared space.

Lesser Lord Kusanali had seen your relationship bloom since the beginning, before even either of you had seen it. She was immensely pleased that the previously misanthropic puppet had grown to love another, and once informed of the official announcement of your relationship, she generously allowed the Wanderer to move from the Sanctuary Surasthana to a home of her choosing close by. It was a quaint and quiet home, but both of you cherished the space. It was a place you could just be together, and need nothing more. Because of this, you took great pride in making sure the home remained a place of respite, and so liked to keep it tidy.

Deciding to start with the laundry, you gathered a basket and went to the bedroom to gather anything in need of washing. Humming a little to yourself, you plucked the pillows off the bed, thinking of washing the cases, when a little thud on the ground came as you lifted your partners pillow.

Curious, you knelt to inspect the thing that had fallen. What was he hiding in his pillow? Kuni certainly wasn’t the type to believe in improving his sleep by hiding trinkets under his head. However, what you discovered made you gasp. On the floor lay the tiny cotton doll resembling Kunikuzushi, its beaded eyes reflecting its obvious displeasure with having taken such a fall.

Tenderly, you took the doll in your hand and stroked its head as you would with Kunikuzushi. Why was it here? You had only ever seen the doll once or twice when Kunikuzushi had readjusted his sleeves or changed shirts, but you knew that he always carried the cotton companion with him. Running your hand gently across the doll, you felt a snag on its back. Turning it over revealed a tear in the seam, a puff of cotton poking out its spine.

“Oh, poor thing,” you muttered, rising slowly while you cradled the doll like a babe. “Let’s get you patched up.”

Collecting a sewing kit from the drawer and sitting carefully on the edge of the bed, you let the doll rest on your lap as you prepared. Gently, as if it could feel your stitching, you mended the fabric. You smiled as you steadily sewed. It made you happy to think you could help Kuni this way, even if he had tried to hide the issue under his pillow.

Kuni has always been private, even with your long-standing relationship it wasn’t easy for him to show such vulnerability. But this doll was his vulnerability, a piece of him he showed almost no one. It was fulfilling to aid it.

Pulling the thread tight, you tied it off and admired your handy work, turning the doll over to greet it again,

“There, all better.” You landed a tender kiss on the top of its head, sealing all your love and care into its plush fabric.

A small choke brought your head up, allowing you to see your partner standing in the doorway, a rare kind of apprehension etched upon him. Your eyes caught each others, astir in stagnant bodies. Kunikuzushi's hand trembled on the doorframe, mouth open as if trying to form words he didn't know.

Through the silence, you lifted a slow hand, extended and opened with a hopeful invitation. The puppet approached, taking your hand and the seat beside you. No words were spoken as you gently lowered his head into your lap, letting his body lie across the bed and his arms wrap around the mended doll. As tears began to shake from Kunikuzushi’s face, you leaned down to press kisses to his head, caressing his hair and allowing him to finally feel the pain and vulnerability that had always ached in the space where his heart should have been.

"Thank you, for daring to love all of me," The shaking whisper stirred the greatest sense of care in your heart.

"You have never deserved anything less,"

The response brought him to sit up, clasping his body around yours as he continued to wring tears into your shoulder.

Perhaps it was not often that Kunikuzushi showed his vulnerability, but you could never stand to mind. Not when these tender moments were so treasured. Besides, you knew well that you would take anything he gave you. You were ready to love it all.

[cynthiav06]

Does Percy ever have any trauma from Gabe?

I mean, in Tartarus, he says it smells like Gabe and I cannot fail to acknowledge his self-esteem issues which Gabe contributed to, but I mean more specific trauma like hating beer and gambling, etc. Something like that?

Percy has suffered due to Gabe for a long time, which contributes quite a lot to his trauma. You see, Rirodan was writing a children's book, and he didn't want to go down too many uncomfortable details, but the signs were there. A lot of them. And despite the canon's inconsistencies, Gabe is at least mentioned in accurate context every small time that he is referenced.

Rick, however, just to be safe, makes Percy's personality so that Percy avoids thinking of Gabe, and rightfully so. Let's take this slow. Because two important things, Percy's situation in the first book and all his issues are due to Gabe and, of course, he carries forward trauma from those situations, so what are they?

1.

Physical abuse is a part that is usually glossed over by the readers to some extent, even though it's in the first book. What I am trying to say is it is always acknowledged that Percy was abused, but rarely does the fandom go down the rabbit hole of specifics. If you see it once, you won't stop seeing it.

Gabe has both verbally and physically abused Percy so much that he has an extreme amount of self-esteem issues and a self-depreciating personality.

Not only did Gabe abuse Percy, but he also made Percy work part-time jobs or side hustles just to get extra money from Percy. Mind you, Percy was barely 12 in the first book, probably still 11, and this had been going for a while.

2.

If that wasn't enough Gabe controlled the budget of the family, not allowing Sally to spend more than he allowed and he splurged most money gambling so Percy grew up in very poor conditions but was sent to boarding schools with rich people which led to a lot of bullying from their end. Since Percy fought back, he somehow earned the per usual misnomer of being a troubled kid.

Cue all his expulsions. Some may be due to monster business, but most were definitely due to Percy fighting against bullies. Why is that notable? This is the start of Percy's anger issues. Percy has a lot of repressed anger from home due to Gabe and not being able to fight him (he hasn't tapped into his power yet, at least not enough of it). Plus, the bullies and horrible living conditions all contribute to Percy's attitude.

3.

Now, if you remember, in Book 1, Gabe threatens Percy severely so that he won't harm his car. But Percy was 12, and he himself says he wasn't going to be driving, but that wouldn't stop Gabe from blaming him. This means Gabe blamed Percy for everything, relevant or otherwise. We can see this in Percy's behavior when he immediately correlates every mistake as his fault and is always reflexively seen taking the blame for everything, even those that weren't his fault.

This scene actually creates a nice parallel against that scene in Book 5 where Percy is on a drive with Rachel in Paul's car and he is very suprised that Paul himself offered the car to him and didn't even impose any rules on Percy. He is however very worried when Blackjack dents the car because even though Paul is not Gabe, Percy has this natural fear against him at least subconsciously but is also very suprised when Paul doesn't get at all angry over the dent. It's such a sweet moment for Percy; he gets to learn how good fathers are.

3.

You mentioned gambling and drinking. Percy shows great dislike for the game in book 1, but he is forced to play cause of Dionysus. He's relatively good at it but doesn't play because he associates the game with Gabe. Same for alcohol. There's a line in the book where Percy says he knows how to recognize when others have been drinking or, as Percy calls it, hitting the happy juice. Obviously, alcohol makes Percy uncomfortable in itself, and he immediately dislikes Dionysus because he is a drunkard and a poker player along with a build similar to Gabe, which makes Percy naturally dislike him greatly. It doesn't help that Dionysus is a complete asshole but his initial natural dislike of Mr. D is due to Gabe.

4.

We all joke about how Percy is a fugitive and known terrorist in tons of states. This is all Gabe's fault. Percy gets in such problems with the law all due to Gabe and how he set literally every police department possible on Percy's trail. Now Percy, being Percy, he manipulates the officers to get on their good side, but he obviously still has problems with the law due to this entire fiasco.

The fandom likes to say that Percy got all his dark aura after Tartarus, but Percy has literally had killing intent since he was 12. One of his first lines in the book is "I am going to kill her" in reference to Nancy Bobofit. He gets gut punched by the realization that Gabe has been hitting his Mom. Gabe literally raised his hand against Sally in front of Percy in book 1. You can't tell me Percy recovered from that. He thinks then too of pulling Riptide and killing Gabe but realizes it wouldn't work on Gabe. Now Percy, who almost always means exactly what he says when talking to people, calls Gabe 'human by the loosest definition.' A 12 year old thinks that you can imagine how bad the situation was.

After Book 1, Rick heavily avoids mentioning abuse in his book cause he is trying to write for kids, but it shows.

Percy thinks of Gabe when he first accidentally iris messages in on one of his Mom's and Paul's dates. Percy is immediately suspicious, which is obviously why Sally hadn't told him anything before this. She wasn't completely sure about Paul, and she also didn't want Percy to worry. When Percy sees her laugh with Paul, he thinks of how much trouble his Mom went through with Gabe.

This is important because after Book 1 when Percy finally learns why Sally kept Gabe around in his head he twists the narrative as his Mom suffered Gabe, not that both he and Sally but only Sally suffered Gabe and why? To protect him. He BLAMES himself for something that's obviously completely not his fault. But in his head, he ends up masking his own pain and considering only Sally's pain valid. This is why Percy doesn't talk to anyone about Gabe and also why everyone thinks Gabe was a bit of a jerk but not an abuser. We literally see PERCY DO THIS TO HIMSELF. Same thing in The Last Olympian. Same thing in Mark of Athena. He talks about how his Mom suffered by staying in the awful marriage, not about himself.

5.

Now the famous House of Hades scene. See Tartarus draws out negative emotions and experiences and worst nightmares of a person to feast on. This is very telling because despite the endless life-death situations Percy has been in ,he thinks of Gabe. Because to Percy, self suffering is no suffering at all. But his Mom suffering is the worst of all. Now Annabeth obviously doesn't get the cue because she has no idea about how Percy lived in his past. While it is true that Annabeth cannot be held responsible for not getting why Percy brought up Gabe in Tartarus and took it as Percy making a joke; a case can be made against Annabeth's lack of initiative to learn more about Percy's life before all this. I digress as that's a completely different discussion. Point stands is that Percy is so unbelievably broken yet loyal that he doesn't even consider his own pain valid.

The next mention of Gabe is directly in Chalice of the Gods. Percy rather openly thinks how much he hated family dinners with Gabe. Also, he has a very nice conversation with Sally soon after he recovers from being turned into a child, where he talks about how powerless being a child felt and how afraid he was. I am certain that the implications indicate at both monsters and Gabe and how a young Percy had been very afraid of both situations but more of Gabe than monsters. Go figure.

It's plenty clear how much trauma Percy has from Gabe and how much he has trained his mind to either avoid it or redirect it elsewhere lest he regress into bitterness and anger issues.

It's probably longer than you expected, but I like systematic exploration of points, hence the long rant. I have done my best to break it down, so it's easier to follow. Also, I am very, very happy for this ask as I really love to explore Percy's personality and Percy's powers. Feel free to send me more along this line of thought.

@fourcornersofcreation ,@hermesmyplatonicbeloved, @helenofsparta2 , @ogjacksonsimp, and @berrybore have all also made posts exploring some of Percy's trauma and they will probably have things to add as well. So please check their posts on this topic as well in case I missed anything.

[spncvr]

scott street | remus lupin

summary: You return to your childhood home. Remus, your past love, unexpectedly returns. (based on the song scott street if that wasn’t obvious)

pairing: rockstar!remus lupin x fem!reader (3rd person oops sorry)

warnings: is this.... angst?? idk but hurt/comfort!! no use of y/n bc i cannot write that and not die a little, and my terrible english i'm sure i mixed all the tenses up here guys sorry im tryinggg,, this is lowk cheesy as hell i feel like... LMAO

a/n: i was sick so i didn't go to school tdy but i wrote this banger oneshot (its 2,4k words can u belive?? longest thing ive ever written in english)

masterlist

Walking Scott Street, feeling like a stranger

With an open heart, open container

THE SUN SUNK behind the many leaves which hung lazily on the branches. Through the old sheer curtains, the breeze blows faint whispers. The room is tinged with a familiar feeling; as if the concrete used that constructed this house is laced with memories from the past. The memories all flooded back like tides in a vast ocean, rolling back and forth as they brought back recollections of days gone by.

This was where she had grown up. The small backyard, the one with grass that had used to touch her ankles, was where she had first learned how to do a cartwheel. The bed, unchanged since she had left, felt almost ancient. She remembered the time she had faked a headache to skip school and had spent the whole day in it; back then the bed had felt like the only place she had wanted to live in. 

This was where she fell in love. So much in love, that she could not seem to pinpoint the exact moment she had ever fallen out of it. Maybe she never did. But it didn’t matter. Not anymore, at least.

The room’s walls are bare, and the old, washed-out wall once covered with posters of her favourite rock bands, no longer stands amongst the antique wallpaper. But his pictures were there. Their pictures. It seemed as though they were taunting her as it was propped up on the small table beside her bed. She picked one of them up, one that had stood out to her the most, and gazed at it.

She grew up without wealth. That was clear from the photo, where her top was much too big for her. Maybe it was her father’s; she can’t remember. But that hadn’t mattered to him. He had his arms around her shoulders and a smile on his lips akin to those she’d seen of him on posters and TV screens. She missed when he’d shown it just for her to see.

I’ve got a stack of mail and a tall can.It’s a shower beer, it’s a payment plan.

She tries to remember the moment or event that had taken place where they had taken the picture. And she almost forgets. It caused her to quickly put the picture back down, and a loud thud resonated between the calm sounds of home.

How could she forget? She felt like she was losing too much of herself. The part of herself that had lived here, one that had loved so freely and so openly, was slipping away so incredibly quickly—and suddenly she understood why her mother had cried when she chose a university so far off. She had almost forgotten a part of herself—a version of herself, that she seemed to have missed the most.

She sits down on the edge of the bed, still close to the picture she had put back down, only to look at it again, this time from afar. 

Of course, she remembers this moment. It had been her birthday, and he had taunted her mercilessly, telling her how she was just as old and frail as he was since she had always made fun of him for having his birthday at the start of the year and hers so close to the end. This may have contributed to the small roll of her eyes in the photo, but she was unable to control the grin that had painted itself on her lips. She can’t remember the last time she’d been so happy. Joking about being so incredibly old while being so young. She’d have given everything to be seventeen again if it meant being seventeen with him. 

Behind the picture, she had been staring at, was another one. And this time, she didn’t forget because, try as she might, she couldn’t.

She can’t seem to let go of the memory of the first time he kissed her, after a gig, a small one that he held with his mates at a pub not that far from here. She remembers how his skin was alight with adrenaline, and his gaze piercing. She couldn’t forget the moment when he told her that she had always been the one he loved not long after the picture, somewhere outside the pub, where the crisp chilly November breeze did not win against his palm that rested against her cheek.

Not long after, when he had brought her back to his, when he had kissed her silly. When she had realized that she really loved him too, and when the realization had hit her so hard, she had to loop her arms around his neck to keep herself upright, when there was only quiet in the house and all that could be heard was her gentle laughter and his sweet nothings, he had whispered in her ear so quietly, almost as if it were a secret, I would have been content to love you from a distance.

There, they were eighteen, fresh out of school and without the slightest idea where they’d go next. She had occasionally pondered what would have happened if they had more time, if they hadn’t both been so foolish, or, if they had both recognized how much it was they felt for one another sooner. But doing so would have made the parting even more painful than it already was. That was something she didn’t like to imagine.

She sighs and leaves the room. She needed to breathe.

Do you feel ashamed, When you hear my name?

ADMITTEDLY, REMUS DIDN'T think he’d ever come back. To Wales, yes, of course, it was his country (now more than ever). But not to this house. Not to her house. He couldn’t ever think straight, not when he knew that she was out there somewhere forgetting every minute detail about their past, and not when the love she’d once felt for him had long gone. But here he stands. 

He’s overthinking this. She probably isn’t even home.

She’s always told him when they were young that she wanted to leave.

One day, she had whispered to him in the darkness, when they were six, her favourite stuffed animal tightly tucked between her arms, one day, we’ll be far away. Remus can’t remember whatever caused her to tell him this at such a young age, with such strong conviction. He thinks it was probably something silly—a classmate’s admonition that some activities were simply reserved for boys. Or maybe it was because her parents had refused to let her get ice cream after she’d finished all of her green vegetables (all that suffering for nothing, really). But the mindset had continued to stick in her mind; an ember of determination that refused to fade away.

One day, she says again, when she’s thirteen because her teacher had failed her in her first ever physics exam, one day this won’t matter. I’ll go. I’ll leave. She had said it so firmly and so surely that it scares him sometimes. Because, really, they’ve never been anywhere but here—so sometimes, he asks his mirror, pretending that she’s staring back at him: What if it’s just the same? What if it’s just as bad?

One day, she says again, when she’s seventeen because she has been looking at universities far off and away from Wales. He’d watch her as she’d stare at the campus pictures on the brochures their school had offered and study the student’s bright wide smiles, and sometimes, he wondered if she ever pictures herself in those hallways, with a group of new friends—she’d be the smart one, the witty one. Sometimes, Remus wondered if she ever pictured him with her as she told him with the biggest smile on her face: One day, I’ll be there. Anytime soon.

She’s never liked it here. That much was always clear to Remus. Her books were the sole bright spot in her otherwise (as she put it) bleak existence. Always arranged in a way that only she could fully understand within the small bookshelf she had bought for herself with her first paycheck when she was saving up for Uni. Often, he wondered if she had brought them with her when she had left or whether she had left them here. No longer feeling the drag of her fingertips against its words. Abandoned by its only reader. 

And for a while, he had thought that he’d given her another reason to love the place they’d always called home. But he left her. So why, then, would she ever choose to stay? Books could only last for so long.

Just knock, he curses to himself. Say hello to her parents. Tell them that you wanted to see how they were doing. 

And just when he’s about to finally get it over with, the door opens.

And she’s there.

She looks different. Hair cut short and brushed neatly. Her clothes fit her nicely. It feels kind of jarring. He doesn’t really know what to expect. He’d been half-expecting to see the girl who had her hair always tied up in a ponytail that didn’t do much, with the amount of hair that was always falling out of it or the girl who wore oversized band shirts that belonged to her father, along with the sneakers she’d been using ever since her feet had stopped growing—the girl who was so full of life it felt nearly impossible not to love her. It was silly, really. Of course, she’d changed. It’s been four years. 

“Remus?” she asks, her eyebrows furrowing, “What’re you doing here?”

He opens his mouth and closes it again. What was he doing here?

“I’m—” he starts but pauses for a while to come up with an answer, “I didn’t know you still lived here.”

“I don’t,” she says, plainly.

“Oh.” he breathes, she’s always been forward, “Well, I’m here for holiday.”

“Yeah . . . yeah me too.”

He rocks on the heels of his foot back and forth, “I just— wanted to know how your parents are doing.”

She purses her lips, “Oh. Well, Dad’s doing alright, I bought him a bunch of LPs—some of them yours, actually. And Mum’s still trying to get used to me being back here. She’s cooked a thousand meals.”

“That’s good to know,” he nods, smiling, because sometimes, she has no idea the effect she has on people. “I’m glad they’re alright.”

“How’ve you been?” she inquires, “Heard you’re not doing too bad in your band thing.”

He laughs softly, “It’s been alright.”

She smiles, for the first time he’s talked to her, and shakes her head softly, “Modest as always. Send the lads my love.”

“I missed you,” he tells her. And it spills from his tongue so quickly, before he could even think about it. She needed to know, somehow, that he couldn’t shake her off his mind. He played for her, wrote for her and of her. And sometimes, when he woke up in the middle of the night he swears he could feel her shadow brush his hand, he hoped and prayed to whatever God that was making him feel so incredibly homesick, that she’d been listening to the songs he’d written.

He could only hope that she’d understand the undertone of his words.

She looks at him with this look that seems to pierce through time, reaching back into the past, unwanting to let go. Then, there was this beat of silence; one long enough for him to hear everything that had been left unsaid.

She looks at him, her honey-laced lips slightly parted. “Do you want to come in?” She sounds hesitant as she steps aside, letting him through.

He nods as he follows her in.

The house felt achingly familiar, yet everything felt and seemed different. The walls were the same colour, and the couch that had always looked somewhat old still stood in the exact same place it had four years ago, with new cushions adorning it. The air felt thicker. She always had that effect on him, he supposes.

“Tea?” she offers, a smile playing on her lips, as she leads him into the kitchen.

“Always,” he replies, trying to keep his voice steady.

She turns her back to him to make tea and he feels like he’s missing her all over again. He’s watching her move, taking the tea kettle and suddenly he’s sixteen again, when he’d brought James, Sirius and Pete here because they’d had run into trouble with the police—well, admittedly, it was just James and Sirius, but the four boys had never failed to stick together—and the first thing she’d asked them when she saw all four of them at her doorstep late at night is if they’d like some tea.

“How long are you staying?” she asks, back still turned. “A few weeks,” he says, “Got a bit of a break before the next tour.”

When she handed him a cup, he noticed how even her arms and the tips of her fingers had changed. She looks good, beautiful. 

“So, how’s life been?” she asks, taking a sip.

“Busy,” he replies, “Touring, recording, writing. It’s a lot, but it’s what I love.”

“I’ve been listening to your music,” she admits when he sips her tea. It’s exactly how he likes it. “It’s good, Remus. Really good.”

Remus looks down at his shoes, “Thank you,” then, “I’m sorry.”

She frowns, “What for?” “For leaving,” his voice, barely a whisper, “for everything.”

“Oh, Remus,” she sighs as she puts her cup down on the kitchen counter, “no, you had to go. It was your dream—I mean, look at you. You’re doing so well. I’m so proud of you.”

“I’ve missed you,” he says again. Because she had smiled at him the same way she did all those years ago in that pub.

And this time, she says it back.

They spent the rest of the day talking and, at times reminiscing, catching up on their lives, and it felt like no time had passed, like they were the same two kids who had believed in forever. As the sky turned dark, and the light from the lamp in the living room spilt against the floors of her house, she had looked at him—that same look she had always given him five, six years ago before asked him, quietly:

“Will you stay?”

Remus smiles, his heart full, “For as long as you’ll have me.”

Anyway, don’t be a stranger

likes and reblogs r appriciated! <3 also i just learned what a taglist is,, so lmk if u wanna be included in my remus one :D

[sarafinamk]

Fallen Angel (Smiling Critters Space Riders AU Reader Insert) Part 1

Summary: You failed as the Prototype's "archangel," and this is your punishment; being left to die while at the mercy of your enemies.

(This is my contribution to the Smiling Critters Space Riders Au. Please check out the talented @onyxonline for more context. I hope y'all enjoy.)

TW: Blood, Injury, Near Death, Imprisonment, Trauma, Death Implications, War, Witchcraft, Religious Trauma, Religious Imagery and Symbolism, Religious Cults, Religious Worship, Slight cursing

----------

You had one job: lead your people to victory. You are a warrior, a healer, a messenger. You are an archangel that needs to spread the word of the Prototype by any means necessary. You need to do your part to save the souls tainted by the condemned ways of the heretics. That’s why you’re here in the first place. Instead, you failed…

It's hard to say how long your mind has been hazy for. All you know is that it burns so much. Fiery hot and raging cold sensations dance and mingle around your body especially where blood was pouring out. The feeling of liquid invading and burning your lungs worsens the more you try to gasp for air. Flashes of light won’t stop assaulting your eyes even as spots of darkness slowing dance their way into your vision. As you close your eyes and try to ignore the sharp tingling in your eyes, one thought stands out among the rest.

‘So, this is what damnation feels like…’

A blurry orange figure looms above you followed by a red and a blue one. They shield you from the harsh light, prompting you to slightly open your eyes. More figures loom around you. All the sounds echoing around you are drowned out by the blood rushing in your ears. You suppose that this is a fitting punishment. You failed your people, yourself, and the Prototype. And now they have come to take you away, to give you your just deserved judgement. The thought alone is enough to make you whimper as your body curls around itself protectively. You try so hard to ignore the inferno now growing where your wounds are. This proves to be futile as hands pin you down, preventing you from curling in on yourself. The sounds grow more urgent, louder even. You couldn’t resist their grips anyways. You should’ve known it was futile to fight the inevitable. As blackness conquers the last of your vision, you pray that you will be granted mercy. You pray that your sins will be forgiven. You pray that your dedication to your duties will lead you to the happiness you have been promised. You pray that you have done enough to grant you eternal happiness. And you pray that you will continue to do good in the next life you are given…

----------

The team has been waiting outside the operation room for hours. Bubba and Bobby wasted no time getting you into operation considering your critical condition. Dogday has been pacing nonstop since getting you onto their ship. He was the one who insisted on taking you with them despite the protests from his teammates. Memories, emotions, and questions spiraled around and around his head, never giving him a second to rest. You’ve caused a lot of damage to not only his team but other parts of the galaxy. Dogday, however, being the sunny, kind-hearted leader he is will be damned if he just left another victim of the Prototype to die. Given the state of your injuries, unfortunately, the chances of your surviving in the long run are slim to none. That was stated by Bubba himself. Regardless, they still had to try, at least.

The canine knew that part of it was wishful thinking from Bubba and a couple others. Dogday can’t say he blames them for disliking the idea of helping one of the Space Riders’ most dangerous enemies. Leaving you to suffer the consequences of your actions means one less enemy to worry about. No one knows how or why you became the Prototype’s archangel apart from your Divinity powers. And maybe Catnap is right about the fact that Dogday’s heart is too forgiving for his own good. It’s just that that thought of leaving you, lying down, alone, and bleeding on the battlefield doesn’t sit right with him. That is not what the Space Riders is supposed to represent. They’re meant to give victims of the Prototype a second chance at life.

If you survive… maybe he and his friends could give you that chance. He hopes, at least. You could help a lot of people and use your powers for good. The riders could have a powerful friend and ally by their side. You could protect them like how you always protected your troops and the Prototype in past battles. You could have people to turn to and not leave you to die alone in the battle the moment things spiral downhill.

Dogday isn’t entirely naïve, though. Even if you survive, and you do agree to change your ways, there will be a lot of obstacles in your path. The obvious one was getting backlash from the Commander and members of HQ. The riders would have to disclose that they are hospitalizing one the most wanted enemies in the galaxy sooner or later. Given everything you’ve done, people are going to demand justice. Some will want to draw blood in the name of vengeance. Dogday would rather not risk that possibility. Maybe he and Bubba could find a way to convince the Commander and the Council to let you serve your sentence here under the riders’ supervision while you are being treated.

Time was passing so agonizingly slowly compared to Dogday’s thoughts. He wishes he could get some news on your condition now. At the very least, a slow update would suffice. Anything would do to finally put his aching head to rest. As if the heavens finally decided to answer him, the doors finally opened. Everyone, asleep or otherwise perks up hearing Bobby approaching. Her eyes droop, but her small, satisfied smile told everyone what they needed to know. Dogday breathes out a sigh of relief. You still need to be monitored for the time being. The surgery may have been successful, but that doesn’t mean it will be a guaranteed smooth sailing recovery. There are still a lot of risks that need to be accounted for at this time. The Space Riders rescued you in time, and that thought is enough to finally put the canine’s whirlwind of thoughts to rest. Dogday can now focus on the next priority; figuring out a way to disclose the recent events to the people of HQ.

[sleepynoons]

akaashi x gn!reader, sfw

cw: mentions of skin picking (akaashi picks at his fingers)

notes: sorry for being afk lol was moving back into college, and now that i have settled back in, here's my obligatory, written-in-30-minutes college!au akaashi bc he is The College Au. happy that i'm beginning to write for hq characters bc they all mean so much to me. also requests/suggestions are closing this weekend, so pls drop by my ask box by then if you want smth!! feel free to drop by for no good reason, too!

THE TWO of you don’t even have to say anything. one glance at each other, and you both shut your eyes and exhale deeply. 

to be fair, neither of you are surprised either. the two other students in your project group are notorious for skipping classes and buying homework answers off of other students. it should have been a given they wouldn’t help out on this presentation either.

the grandfather clock against the adjacent wall is an old thing, really – wood faded and paint chipped off –, yet the ticks of its hands click crisply in contrast to the soft sounds of laminated textbook pages flipping and footsteps rubbing against carpet. just like an old grandparent would, every tick of the clock is a nagging reminder directed at you and akaashi: “that’s one less minute you have to work on that project! oh, and another! are the two of you ever going to get started?”

you pull out your chair and sit next to akaashi, who looks more exhausted than he usually does. there are dark, dark shadows under his eyes, and there are swollen cuts around his cuticles from where he tugs on petty, persistent hangnails.

you shove a hand into the back pocket of your pants. i thought i had one on me, you think, pouting slightly as you continue to feel through crushed receipts, loose threads, and whatever other junk you crammed in back there. finally, you feel the familiar papery texture. there it is!

“akaashi, here.” you slide it over to him, and he glances at it before focusing back onto his laptop screen. it’s almost like he doesn’t recognize the object as he says nothing for a few moments, but then, he looks back and purses his lips, his best attempt at a grateful smile in his current state.

“thanks for the bandaid,” he mutters as he begins to open up the packaging.

you shrug your shoulders and furrow your brows. “i should’ve brought more,” you say. “that’s on me.”

he shakes his head as he wraps the bandaid around the knuckle of his thumb – the most tortured of all his fingers. “don’t apologize. i should be the one taking care of myself anyway.”

“i doubt a single college student can take care of themself, let alone a project meant for four people,” you groan. 

“they don’t count as people,” he deadpans.

you choke a laugh. “akaashi, don’t be mean.”

“i’m only stating a fact.”

at this point, akaashi has already returned to working, typing away and switching tabs every so often. you, too, grab your things to contribute.

the project is more tedious than anything, and luckily, the two of you had completed your respective one-fourths of the work ahead of time. however, the two of you were hoping – naïvely, might you add – that your other teammates would pull through, so you had procrastinated on finishing their parts until the day before the deadline.

and things continued downhill from there. you and akaashi were supposed to meet in the morning to dedicate the whole day to completing and revising the presentation. however, his research advisor emailed him last-minute to help with some urgent manuscripts, so the two of you delayed until 4pm. but then you got roped into a club event, which included dinner and a drinking afterparty, and not wanting to cause a ruckus with your seniors, you obliged. needless to say, it’s now 9pm and there is a whole half-empty presentation waiting to be filled.

at least the one thing that is working in your favor is your mechanical teamwork. you work on a section, akaashi on another, and when both of you are done, you switch to polish each other’s works. akaashi is also a fantastic writer and critic, so not only do you feel like you’re learning from his suggestions, you’re also not devastated in the process. even with potentially very shallow questions, he’s patient.

about an hour in, you mumble, “wait, i’m not sure if this makes sense.” you turn your computer towards him, and he leans forward, slightly in front of you, to see clearer.

from this proximity, you notice the way his nose twitches, along with the way his lips form a pout, as he readjusts the bridge of his glasses. you can also trace the curvature of his ears, following the round of the helix down to the lobe. and his eyebrows –

then again, these are things you’ve known for a while now. you’re just taking note of details you’ve already memorized. you’ve come to terms with your crush on akaashi since the second week of the fall term, truly having experienced love at first sight. but you’re too tired for a relationship, and if you’re exhausted, well, akaashi is probably having a worse time.

and by the looks of it, akaashi suddenly sniffles. you pull out a tissue immediately.

he chuckles as he takes it. “that pocket of yours is pretty handy.”

you frown. because you did miss a detail.

akaashi is flushed from his cheeks up to his temples and ears. and upon reflection, his voice sounded more gravelly, without its usual snark, when he was making the jab at your project mates earlier.

oh. 

“are you sick?” you ask.

the first time he doesn’t hear you, intently reading through your write-up. you ask again, this time also tapping his shoulder.

“sorry, what?” he mumbles.

“akaashi, i said, are you sick?”

a confused expression flashes across his face before ot returns to its typical unbothered look.

“don’t worry about it,” he grunts,

“you should get some rest,” you insist.

“and what about the project then?”

you really shouldn’t be doing this to yourself because it would mean pulling an all-nighter, but you also don’t want akaashi to work while he’s under the weather. “i’ll just do it myself. i’ll send you everything by the morning, so you can take a look over it when you wake up, and then we can submit it by class time, yeah?”

he gawks at you, terrified at your proposal. he shakes his head, adamant when he says, “there’s no way i could let you do that. you need to rest, too.”

“not as much as you,” you argue back. “if you’re not too sick, then you can sleep it off and wake up early to help. but right now, you need to go back to your dorm.”

he fights back, trying to convince you of otherwise, but you’ve already crossed your arms across your chest firmly and are staring at him with a quirked eyebrow, visibly unimpressed.

akaashi can only roll his eyes at your stubbornness.

as he packs his things, he looks over his shoulder at you and asks, “is there anything i can do to make it up to you?”

“akaashi, are you being serious? you don’t need to make up anything. just feel better for me, alright?”

now he’s looking at you like you’re a total idiot.

you just sigh.

“fine, just treat me to a meal or something, alright? now go.”

“i was going to take you out for dinner anyway, but fine. i’ll pay for lunch tomorrow.”

“yeah, sounds good. now go!”

akaashi leaves, and you return back to your work.

the hours fly by. other students begin to filter out, and by the time it’s past midnight, you’re only accompanied by a night-shift student librarian and the grandfather clock. you lean back into your chair, taking a quick breather.

you think back to your conversation with akaashi before he left. gotta finish the project before he wakes up, only six more slides to go, i wonder what we should have for lunch, he did say we’d get to eat together another time –

you jolt. sitting upright, your eyes widen slowly as you recount akaashi’s words. he said he would take me out anyway.

are you hallucinating? so delusional that you can’t tell between fantasy and reality? he said those exact words, right? did he mean it the way you think it means?

the clock chimes loudly as a new hour begins. you’re thrown back to work, but really, you don’t even know how you managed to finish the assignment because, the entire time, you kept thinking about akaashi and his intentions.

what does he mean?

[tinseltrinkets]

Part of what made Arcane Season 2 flawed is also what made it transcend as a piece of media and storytelling.

This is not to say that these shortcomings are a merit or are a necessity to keeping this aspect of the narrative, but I think while we critique what went wrong, we should understand why it did and see that part of that reason is something honestly incredible.

Arcane Season 1 was absolutely airtight in terms of storytelling. It knew the story it wanted to convey and every detail was tied together in a way that expressed that in the purest sense. It is a masterful piece of work.

Arcane Season 2 shows these characters not just in a story and not just as characters. Yes, it’s still a story and they are still characters, but the story is no longer linear and they are no longer following an archetypal character type.

The intro depicts the characters in plain white clothing, seemingly modern articles of clothing you wouldn’t see in this universe. Vi wipes off her tattoo and Jinx’s are gone.

Not only are they straying away from the expectations of their characters from their League of Legends counterparts, they’re straying away from their essence as archetypal characters.

Basically every character in the story was dedicated to trying to find meaning in the only identity they found available to them and were clinging onto ways that let them maintain that.

Vi as the protector, Jinx as the force of destruction, Caitlyn as the bringer of justice, Jayce as the face of progress, Viktor as the endlessly dedicated scientist, Ekko as the savior, and so on.

When they find themselves stray from this path, it terrifies them.

When Vi thinks there’s no one left to protect, she lives listlessly and miserably in a drunken stupor.

When Jinx thinks Isha is going to prevent her and VI’s cinematic showdown, she panics.

When Caitlyn thinks she’s failed in bringing justice when she refrained from killing Jinx, she attacks Zaun.

When Jayce thinks he’s not going to be able to contribute anything revolutionary, he tries to kill himself.

When Viktor thinks he’s not going to be able to continue his work after it kills Sky, he also tries to kill himself.

When Ekko thinks he’s going to end up reconsidering if there’s no hope for rebuilding his life when confronted with the alternate universe, he’s resistant and fearful.

The core of what makes these characters miserable, the worthless or unnuanced responsibilities they feel they have to fulfill, is also what they feel they need to live for and will do anything to continue doing so.

Despite it being painful, it’s so much easier to believe that you’re bound to be stuck in misery and bound to be the person that lives in it. At least it’s predictable.

Healing is scary, not just because of the fear that you might get your hopes up only to lose them, but also because when your sense of identity and self worth has been so intrinsically tied to this romanticized image of pain, this characterized archetype, it’s terrifying to give that up, even if you know it’ll bring you happiness. It makes it feel all for nothing.

But these identities never meant anything, and it didn’t matter if they did. They were never meant for them.

A city wracked by war and oppression was made for spiritless husks who represent this false idea of strength and who’ll do anything to achieve power. It was not made for children with dreams of being inventors and scientists and loving their families.

They’re expected to change to fit that narrative rather than changing that narrative to fit who they are.

Them becoming cynical and striving only to cause destruction isn’t in defiance to their oppressive systems, it’s in a direct response.

Their society tells them they’re useless, and rather than seeing it as a lie meant to keep them in power, they abandon their innocence and the essence of who they are to try and prove that they are. Otherwise, they’re right.

Season 2 has many flaws, especially how it approaches classist oppression and not truly resolving that and its consequences, but in terms of showing how it’s characters don’t need to succumb to the paths paved for them as characters, it shows something beautiful.

Humans are fluid, and the ideas embody don’t define all that we could be. The aspect that things can always change is terrifying but also comforting. Constantly losing something means that, somehow, it always comes back. The consistency might not be in its loss, but in its return.

[punkpandapatrixk]

Full Strawberry Moon in Capricorn ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

Heey, has the Full Strawberry Moon caused you some level of fatigue? At least physically rather than mentally? It was in the sign of Capricorn last June 23. This FM brought a shake-up to the foundation of our routines and a sense of belonging. I hope you’ve been feeling more secure in terms of your job and finances, or at least in the way you get to schedule your work.

There’s this little thing that I’ve been saying to myself ever since the arrival of this FM: ‘I’ve decided now that I am stable and secure. I’m not anxious anymore. There’s nothing to worry about.’ I’ve been saying that for my finances, yes, but especially, about my place in the world. I’ve become even more certain that what I’m doing is contributing positively to the world around me, and I’m very happy about that :D

This Full Moon, the aenergy is all about dreams and manifestations of a stable, secure Life going forward as Workers of Light. Personally, I don’t know what’s going on with people who are not of the Light LOL I guess all the foundation of their Reality is simply crumbling because they haven’t worked on their traumas? *cough, Hollyweird, cough cough*

Anyway, this FM also brought in a huge-ass cosmic broom to sweep up even more karmic debris from your energetic field (even bloodline). Releasing yourself from the shackles of guilt and unworthiness so you can grow tall and reach the heights of the heavens. All that, so you can now focus on your legacy project—something important, and unique, which you’ve known for quite a while only you can do.

This Full Strawberry Moon in Capricorn is the time all these wishes and endeavours are blessed by the Light forces of the Universe. Workers of Light, this year is YOUR year! Stomp forward bravely!

IDEA: High Paying, Low Stress Feminine Careers by Beauty & Beyond

deck-bottom: XVII The Star Rx, Gold Astronomer (John Dee), Priestess of Strength

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Pile 1 – It’s Time to Nourish Your Body

security – 2 of Cups Rx

Oh, this is interesting. You know that 2 of Cups is a soulmate card, right? But here in reverse I’m getting that up until fairly recently you’ve given so much of yourself to the wrong soulmates. It could be that there was something in the air that convinced you that you’d met your tribe, friend group, or even the one and true significant other, but then the Universe did something and the truth was unveiled, and it was painful.

The, uh, disclosure, took quite a toll on your physical body, probably due to the shock or trauma. This could’ve eaten away at your self-worth, too, to some degree. You might’ve dealt with an affliction of an impostor syndrome after the incident. Emotionally, it was really hard. But now, the Full Strawberry Moon has swept away a huge chunk of that trauma and now you’re good LOL

Basically, you’re being assured by your Spirit Guides that everything is only getting better from here <3

stability – 10 of Wands

If you resonate with having been in isolation for quite a while, this is your confirmation that you’ve chosen well. I mean, I guess your Spirit Guides ushered you into isolation LOL But this isolation period is your recovery phase from all the lessons you’ve taken from the previous chapter of your Life. Your Spirit Guides are saying the past was not a mistake. You needed to experience those things to help you develop a stronger intuition.

It's part of your Life Scenario to meet many, indeed, Souls that you’d known in different incarnations, but they’re not necessarily your long-term Soul Tribe. It was more like meeting old friends, neighbours or students you’d interacted with in the past and now they’re just passing by to say hi or help you with a light task. They were never meant to stay for long. Because, your True Soul Family is elsewhere.

Know that. Feel that with your intuition. Accept their call. And have fun making your way to them, or inviting them to your space :D

worry-free – 6 of Wands

For some of you tuning into this Pile, you may have been in this isolation mode for a very long time. Your Spirit Guides are saying your time in hiding is almost over. Soon, you’re gonna be connecting with people again and be seen for all the wonderful work you’re able to produce now, and everybody around you is so gonna appreciate and admire you for all that you are. They’ll think you’re super wonderful and they’re gonna wanna hang out with you and all that stuff :D

Are you still afraid of some kind of a betrayal or abandonment from these connections? No, it doesn’t seem like that at all. Why? Because you’ve transcended above your self-worth issues; because now there’s something that you’re doing that you feel very proud of, at least confident about. You know your worth now, so you’re just naturally magnetising people who will also view you the same.

Take care of your body though. Don’t work too hard. Your body still needs to get used to a healthy routine so it gets stronger. A strong body supports a more stable emotional plane <3

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

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Pile 2 – Enjoying Unwinding for a Moment

security – 7 of Wands Rx

Seems like you’ve been huuuuuustling for the longest time. This FM in Capricorn is saying you’ve done marvellously well, so please take a break now! XD It’s more like, gosh, you haven’t taken the time to smell the panna cotta at all. Chill out, bro. You’re gonna work yourself to death before you even get to enjoy any bit of your labour of love. If it’s not possible to take a break, at least delegate. You really don’t have to do it all alone~

There’s a bit of a message about learning to trust other people. In essence, also learning to trust the Universe. Trust that things won’t suddenly spin out of control just because you’re snoring one minute. You’re working on something important that can benefit other people as well, right? Even if ‘other people’ literally means only yourself at this moment, and your family in the future.

Trust that the work—or the intent to change jobs—you’re doing now is in alignment with your Highest Intended Good. And in that sense, everything is perfect. You can relax~

stability – 10 of Cups Rx

Other than the scenario involving work, it seems a bunch of you have simply been dealing with a sense of ‘burden’ that goes beyond just day-to-day work. I feel like there’s been so much dark clouds in your mind, covering all your senses and your perception of Reality. These dark clouds are just worries, anxieties, and a fear of rejection or shame from the people closest to you.

It feels like there’s an endeavour you know you must take, a decision you know you must make, but you’ve been so stressed out about how to balance what you want with what’s expected of you. This FM in Capricorn seems to have lifted a huge chunk of those gloomy clouds tho, and I’m seeing you’re more able to distance yourself from the opinions and influences of those who might disagree with you.

This time around, this year in fact, you’re prioritising yourself. There’s something very important that you must undertake, but first, peace of mind first.

worry-free – 6 of Cups Rx

It does seem that the majority of your concerns come from ‘people’ rather ‘situations’. Your interpersonal relationships were simply weighing you down because you feel so much empathy and gratitude towards the people whom, I get are meant to be left in the past. These are people in your early chapters of Life; they’re likely not gonna make an appearance in the next arc, babe.

So you’re being advised to let go with grace and gratitude. I feel like you’re this dragon who’s meant for something mega-important and mega-luxury but the people around you couldn’t understand that. Well, that’s OK. That doesn’t make them ‘bad’, right? You just aren’t each other’s people, apparently. Your people, in fact, are those who are just as weird as you.

As you move forward, you’re going to meet more of these people who will even help you in building your empire. For now though, just enjoy unwinding those stressful threads of expectations in your mind~

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗����

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Pile 3 – This is Literally Where It All Starts

security – Page of Pentacles Rx

You’ve dedicated a huge chunk of your Life to studying. Most people won’t even be able to grasp just how much ‘a huge chunk of your Life’ is in this scenario. It almost feels like practically your entire Life, you’ve just been studying. A whooole Life of nothing but hard lessons from the Universe. Are you fuckin’ kidding me? You may have felt like giving up numerous times, too.

But it all ends by this FM in Capricorn. You’ve finished studying. You’ve graduated, or soon graduating. For the most part, the majority of you have closed that chapter of studying, learning and experimenting (with prototypes). From here onwards, it’s full-on Creation with active R&D on the side. You’re being propelled into your Highest Intended Mission.

Of course, vacation, first, baby~ Relax and celebrate your graduation. You deserve to take it easy now that you’re in preparatory mode.

stability – 2 of Airships Rx

I see that whatever you’ve felt was restricted before, whether money or time or a general sense of ‘freedom’ to do what you want when you want, is being lifted and suddenly there’s just this almost magical burst of material blessings that enable you to just…have a good time! Like, before, it was as if either you turn on the electricity or go without food for a day (hi, Australia). There was just SO much compromise to make. Not anymore! This FM in Capricorn is bringing in a lot of ease and material abundance!

Well, this Strawberry Moon is all about manifestation and fruitfulness, yes, but it’s also the way Saturn (ruler of Cap) seems to be easing in on the restrictions put around your physical manifestations. And it’s mainly thanks to your finally returning to the core of who you are. If this is your main pile, chances are, you’ve figured out your spiritual work in this world.

Basically, the lessons of Saturn revolve around that theme. Finding your footing in this world so your physical manifestations are always going to be in the service of your Highest Intended Good :D

worry-free – Knight of Wands Rx

I get this feeling that up until recently, you’ve been sort of torn between doing what’s responsible/practical and following this calling in your heart. Being pulled in more than one direction has caused you a great deal of mental turbulence. It wasn’t because you were choosing or managing poorly, no, not at all; it was because you were meant to follow both LOL

But yeah, I get that the whole learning phase was more like a tempering of your passions. Basically, the Universe was teaching you trust and faith in its grand orchestration. There this quote that fits perfectly for you right now:

‘You ever just like… Trust the Universe so much that you don’t give a fuck?’

For most of you tuning in here, I feel like you’ve kinda just stopped giving a fuck about whether or not you’re gonna make it or fail hahahah

And that’s the whole point, right? Doesn’t matter what happens, the Universe has big plans for you, so you’re surely gonna end up alright, and even thriving! Since you already know the outcome anyway, might as well relax and take it easy from like right now~

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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[omniscientwreck]

I will preface this by saying that I haven't directly seen anyone trying to "cancel Smitten" but I've seen a lot of reference to it, and a lot of reference to people being very upset with him and I have a lot of thoughts about that.

Spoilers under the cut

Firstly, I think trying to make moral judgements about the goodness or badness of any of the Slay The Princess characters kind of shows a bit of a lack of comprehension of what the game is trying to say.

The voices represent feelings and impulses that get stronger based on your actions and the events you experience. Just like in real life, different people lean to different emotions based on what happens to them and who they are and what they nurture. This works because we feel all the emotions we feel and even the less present ones are still present in our minds and bodies.

So the Voices are that right? Feelings. They're slivers of you that have distinct voices to show the player how the characters affect and perceive each other.

What I've learned in therapy is that you have to acknowledge and balance your feelings and emotions. They are your helpers, but when things happen to us that cause us to favour one, it can take over too much and make us worse (my overwhelming shame makes me avoidant, non-confrontational, contributes to my anxiety, and outwardly wishy washy to make sure I am accepted by others).

Smitten has always been covetous, idealistic, obstinate, and naive. He is the part of you (as the Long Quiet) that desires the princess, not desire in the mostly sexual sense, but in the sense that he wants, he needs.

When you bear your heart to the princess, when Smitten takes over to get his happy ending, to get what he wants. He wants his happy ending. He wants the princess to be happy and he wants to protect her and he covets her.

None of these things are inherently bad, feeling these things doesn't make you evil, it's what you do with it that makes you evil.

The voices all internally push their agendas, they try to convince you to do what they think is right. They're balanced by each other, and by you making the choices (except when you can't, when one of them asserts themself over you).

In The Epilogue, when he is separated from you, he's alone, and so he doesn't have other voices tempering him and he doesn't have you to choose a different path. So he is all the things he is, and he is them uninhibited and unbalanced. He goes to his extreme because he isn't a whole person, he's just a sliver. This is why he manifests as a shadow.

This is just how he is, he is simply acting out of nature. And that hurts the princess and it hurts you but that's what the whole game is about. You and the princess hurt each other over and over again but that's not all of who you are, it's not your whole relationship.

There are many ways to hurt each other within Slay the Princess, and I understand the strong emotional reaction that comes with it, but in my opinion trying to cancel Smitten or to apply real world motality to anything within the game is reductive. This isn't to say that if you're triggered that you're wrong or bad for having reaction, but the Smitten isn't uniquely evil here. He isn't good and he isn't bad, he's Smitten. Can't judge him by human morals because he isn't operating on the same scale as we are.

It's fine to not enjoy things or to recognize that they hit too close to home, but I think that for me at least, that's the beauty of this game. To recognize myself in it and to process parts of myself that are difficult to cope with or love. And to understand that I am not one aspect or facet of myself, but that I am a whole person with lots of qualities and tendencies and thoughts that are good and bad, and to know that that's true of others as well. And to be able to explore that in fiction and see myself both in TLQ and TSM is incredibly powerful and one of the reasons I love this game so much.

[hello-universe-lovers]

"I don't want to go back..."

On the first day of Chris--oh wait it's already passed in my timezone. Nvm. Anyway, Broken is done, yaaay! The girlfriends are reunited! Anyway, you know how it is. Spoilers beware!

So my interpretation of the Broken is a lil more...healthier than canon. I mean, she's still a depressed bean and all but unlike Cold, she's medicated/hj. Much like the Opportunist, I stamped way too many HCs onto her (actually my bf did, bc he's disabled and he's where I get most of my ideas from) so she is not 1-to-1. But when has a lil canon divergence stopped anyone? I still am happy with how she turned out and how her disability affects her!

Details time:

- Her Princess is the Wild. And the separation from her was rough on Broken. Because of her empathy, she truly thought that being connected was the right call. We both know how it ends, and the resulting split took her legs. When they got to the Wounded Wild, both can see the damage they caused the other, and so agreed to move forward from the pain, getting to know each other.

- She obviously lost her legs, up to her thighs are root. And they also sprout from her head, too. The flower is just to hide the hole that are now in her skull.

- her wings were stripped bare, boney and unable to grow new feathers. So she opted to wear a shawl over them so they didn't hurt.

- her walk is more like a waddle, if she's doing it alone. She'd prefer to move with assistance (mainly Cheated) but if push comes to shove, she'd move on her own...very slowly.

- she is still connected to the Wild. And more often than not, she'd go to her to assimilate into the system. It's mainly a coping and calming thing, as she and Wild talk better through this direct connection. To her, this is the equivalent of going to your friend's house for some chit-chat.

- her clothes were made by Smitten to be as comfortable and easy to pull off as possible.

- her talons are frequently trimmed

- as stated in headcanons, she smokes weed. Medicinal weed to cope with the pain.

- Obviously, sometimes things hurt. Her legs are a big contribution to the pain, but her head, chest and arms also flare up. It's something that happens and while she groans and moans about it, she'd just lay still until she can move again. (And pain medication if they are REALLY bad)

- the cane was provided by Wild. It's perfect for her and if you forcibly take it from her hands, the cane turns into a root to strangle you.

- it's hard to get her motivated to do so, but almost every voice has experience the Broken Bonk™️ of Disapproval from her cane (the ones who haven't are Connie, Hero and Cheated)

- she has channel most of her self hatred to unfiltered sass. She will call you out on bullshit while using herself as the goal post. ("At LEAST I have no legs. What's your excuse?" Is an example).

- wheelchair is also optional for long distance travel.

- if anyone can draw the back of her head, I will give you a free doodle. I just wanted to give her curls but idk how to make thst look, if you're looking from straight behind her.

- Despite EVERYTHING, she still loves the Wild. She views her as a fellow person looking to heal. With Cheated included, they formed a little support group for all the trauma these poeple went through. Mainly through providing a calming and empty space to get away from the chaos and noise of Construct (and sometimes each other).

- is she as zealous as canon Broken is with Tower? Eeehhh...a little. She would much prefer the interpersonal connection and sense of completion the Wild provides than the Distant but guaranteed Protection of the Tower, but separate the 2 princesses, and she'd still grovel to Tower exactly like canon.

- it goes without saying but I will say it so it's clear: if you draw my version of Broken, draw her with her mobility aids (Cane and/or wheelchair). They are a part of her and me and my bf would appreciate it greatly, if you do that.

Ok, that's all. If it's still Christmas in your timezone, then Merry Christmas!!

[sepublic]

Dana grew up Catholic, Luz is an expression of her experiences growing up; Same dead father who gave her a final gift, plus Evangelicals saying that gift and basically everything about her is evil and wrong. Bisexual.

I half-“joked” that Luz got Catholic Guilt in the second half of the series; She made a decision for herself at the beginning, and then overtime was led to believe this decision caused so much harm, and it could be attributed to Luz being selfish and just wanting to play around. She should be responsible and limit herself from things that make her happy to atone.

Her intentions and the fact that a lot of this was a butterfly effect she couldn’t possibly have been expected to anticipate, is inconsequential; It doesn’t matter if it spiraled out of control from a very basic, reasonable act of compassion, or that it was others who maliciously made it into something bad. She is guilty because everyone is, right? She should’ve been sent to an institution meant to reform kids from the start.

And Luz thinks this way because of an Evangelical dressed in Catholic aesthetic, who constantly emphasizes what she’s done, how Luz contributed, to tear down and make her believe him. He haunts her with the idea that she had a limited yet effective predestination she can’t control and doesn’t want. Dana based him off of Televangelists, infamous for being Anti-Catholic in theory yet indulging in the same material vices and splendor, and being just as hateful and abusive.

Luz still wanted things, she wanted them so badly she kept trying anyway, and dared to believe what others said about it not being bad; She can’t deny this part of her. Sometimes Luz thought or knew it was bad, but she craved it so deeply anyhow that she went through with it, as with stealing the Training Wand to hang out with Amity and Willow and Gus at Hexside, or omitting her role in the time loop because she didn’t want them and others to leave her. But eventually, she came to the conclusion that Luz shouldn’t have gone for it at all.

At this rate, stuff like bearing what she thinks are the Bat Queen’s dangerous trials; Letting Boscha use her as a servant and endanger her physically whenever she chooses; Letting Odalia beat her up in front of a cheering audience for a whole night; Choosing to stay behind, because she thought she hurt others?

She’s way too comfortable submitting to these things without consulting others first, even the ones she’s hurt and whether they’re fine with this. Luz may as well be self-flagellating (a Catholic practice), she may as well suffer from self-harm since the start of S2 at least, where her guilt really began to compound after seeing Eda struggle from the curse she inadvertently helped worsen! she loves to destroy herself spiritually (Not in being a witch, but in avoiding that), may as well do it physically!

And as we all know, the resolution comes from Luz forgiving herself, realizing punitive justice doesn’t work on her anymore than it works on others around her who have changed. Choosing to go along and repeat the ‘mistake’ of going to the Boiling Isles for her own happiness actually helps save it, never mind the setbacks during that process. She realizes that old man telling everyone how they’re guilty and need to save their souls is insincere and not trying to save anyone, period; Least of all her. Luz wanting things isn’t bad.

Reminder that Dana grew up in a Catholic school. She confirms her relationship with her father and surviving mother were good, and that Catholic school wasn’t all bad. But you can see how she might’ve heard of and considered others’ experiences there regardless. And it reminds me of how Reality Check Camp wasn’t all bad for Vee and Masha and their friends, but its best parts clearly didn’t come from the camp itself.

[perpetual-enjine]

So, do you see Touya as a victim? I’m like divided on this so hard 😭 a part of me is like no but then I also think yes he is, and more on the stance of he is a victim but not the biggest one especially out of the 4 siblings. I also read a post where they talked about Touya and they mentioned how Touya definitely has some serious mental health stuff going on, and that his parents' abuse definitely contributed to/worsened, but they did not force him to become Dabi and his mental health issues are major factors to why he acted the way he acted!

People can be many things at once. Admitting someone was a victim doesn’t absolve them of their crimes. All for One was a victim. Someone should have done something when literal babies were crawling around on the street. But being a victim in your childhood doesn’t mean that you are good to go with the life of crime, nor that you have to become a criminal. It’s still a choice what you do with your pain. Yoichi suffered the same but chose to be kind and forgiving. Shouto was treated way worse than Touya - he didn’t even get the brief years of happy childhood, of holding up his flaming fist to a proud and smiling father. And yet he chose to work on himself, to be kind to others, to admit that he could be wrong (like he did during that test where he fought with Momo against Aizawa).

Meanwhile, Touya took his victimhood and mental illness and made it everyone else’s problem. He attacked his siblings who were already victimized like himself, he tried to kill Enji multiple times - a disproportionate response even considering Enji’s abuse, and he killed innocent people and then blamed it on Enji. He rarely if ever considered anyone else’s trauma. When Toga tried to talk to him about her family, he out of nowhere brought up Endeavor, and then he burned her house, which is his default response to any and all problems.

Mental health problems can be an explanation but they’re not an excuse unless a person cannot tell right from wrong - that’s the legal definition of insanity defense in many justice systems. Touya can tell right from wrong. He calls himself a villain, he admitted in the video that he killed innocent people, he escapes from heroes and police because he knows he did bad things (legally insane persons are not able to tell that punishment is coming for them after what they did). When your mental illness is causing you to want to harm others and you’re aware of it, it is your responsibility to prevent yourself from doing so if possible and to seek help. It’s not a carte blanche to go around committing crimes.

So, you don’t have to be conflicted. Touya is a victim, and a mentally ill one, but after all these years, he should have worked on himself or at the very least not victimized people who didn’t abuse him.