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mostlysignssomeportents · 6 months ago

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The true, tactical significance of Project 2025

TODAY (July 14), I'm giving the closing keynote for the fifteenth HACKERS ON PLANET EARTH, in QUEENS, NY. Happy Bastille Day! NEXT SATURDAY (July 20), I'm appearing in CHICAGO at Exile in Bookville.

Like you, I have heard a lot about Project 2025, the Heritage Foundation's roadmap for the actions that Trump should take if he wins the presidency. Given the Heritage Foundation's centrality to the American authoritarian project, it's about as awful and frightening as you might expect:

https://www.project2025.org/

But (nearly) all the reporting and commentary on Project 2025 badly misses the point. I've only read a single writer who immediately grasped the true significance of Project 2025: The American Prospect's Rick Perlstein, which is unsurprising, given Perlstein's stature as one of the left's most important historians of right wing movements:

https://prospect.org/politics/2024-07-10-project-2025-republican-presidencies-tradition/

As Perlstein points out, Project 2025 isn't new. The Heritage Foundation and its allies have prepared documents like this, with many identical policy prescriptions, in the run-up to many presidential elections. Perlstein argues that Warren G Harding's 1921 inaugural address captures much of its spirit, as did the Nixon campaign's 1973 vow to "move the country so far to the right 'you won’t even recognize it.'"

The threats to democracy and its institutions aren't new. The right has been bent on their destruction for more than a century. As Perlstein says, the point of taking note of this isn't to minimize the danger, rather, it's to contextualize it. The American right has, since the founding of the Republic, been bent on creating a system of hereditary aristocrats, who govern without "interference" from democratic institutions, so that their power to extract wealth from First Nations, working people, and the land itself is checked only by rivalries with other aristocrats. The project of the right is grounded in a belief in Providence: that God's favor shines on His best creations and elevates them to wealth and power. Elite status is proof of merit, and merit is "that which leads to elite status."

When a wealthy person founds an intergenerational dynasty of wealth and power, this is merely a hereditary meritocracy: a bloodline infused with God's favor. Sometimes, this belief is dressed up in caliper-wielding pseudoscience, with the "good bloodline" reflecting superior genetics and not the favor of the Almighty. Of course, a true American aristocrat gussies up his "race realism" with mystical nonsense: "God favored me with superior genes." The corollary, of course, is that you are poor because God doesn't favor you, or because your genes are bad, or because God punished you with bad genes.

So we should be alarmed by the right's agenda. We should be alarmed at how much ground it has gained, and how the right has stolen elections and Supreme Court seats to enshrine antimajoritarianism as a seemingly permanent fact of life, giving extremist minorities the power to impose their will on the rest of us, dooming us to a roasting planet, forced births, racist immiseration, and most expensive, worst-performing health industry in the world.

But for all that the right has bombed so many of the roads to a prosperous, humane future, it's a huge mistake to think of the right as a stable, unified force, marching to victory after inevitable victory. The American right is a brittle coalition led by a handful of plutocrats who have convinced a large number of turkeys to vote for Christmas.

The right wing coalition needs to pander to forced-birth extremists, racist extremist, Christian Dominionist extremists (of several types), frothing anti-Communist cranks, vicious homophobes and transphobes, etc, etc. Pandering to all these groups isn't easy: for one thing, they often want opposite things – the post-Roe forced birth policies that followed the Dobbs decision are wildly unpopular among conservatives, with the exception of a clutch of totally unhinged maniacs that the party relies on as part of a much larger coalition. Even more unpopular are policies banning birth control, like the ones laid out in Project 2025. Less popular still: the proposed ban on no-fault divorce. Each of these policies have different constituencies to whom they are very popular, but when you put them together, you get Dan Savage's "Husbands you can't leave, pregnancies you can't prevent or terminate, politicians you can't vote out of office":

https://twitter.com/fakedansavage/status/1805680183065854083

The constituency for "husbands you can't leave, pregnancies you can't prevent or terminate, politicians you can't vote out of office" is very small. Almost no one in the GOP coalition is voting for all of this, they're voting for one or two of these things and holding their noses when it comes to the rest.

Take the "libertarian" wing of the GOP: its members do favor personal liberty…it's just that they favor low taxes for them more than personal liberty for you. The kind of lunatic who'd vote for a dead gopher if it would knock a quarter off his tax bill will happily allow his coalition partners to rape pregnant women with unnecessary transvaginal ultrasounds and force them to carry unwanted fetuses to term if that's the price he has to pay to save a nickel in taxes:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/09/29/jubilance/#tolerable-racism

And, of course, the religious maniacs who profess a total commitment to Biblical virtue but worship Trump, Gaetz, Limbaugh, Gingrich, Reagan, and the whole panoply of cheating, lying, kid-fiddling, dope-addled refugees from a Jack Chick tract know that these men never gave a shit about Jesus, the Apostles or the Ten Commandments – but they'll vote for 'em because it will get them school prayer, total abortion bans, and unregulated "home schooling" so they can brainwash a generation of Biblical literalists who think the Earth is 5,000 years old and that Jesus was white and super into rich people.

Time and again, the leaders of the conservative movement prove themselves capable of acts of breathtaking cruelty, and undoubtedly many of them are depraved sadists who genuinely enjoy the suffering of their enemies (think of Trump lickspittle Steven Miller's undisguised glee at the thought of parents who would never be reunited with children after being separated at the border). But it's a mistake to think that "the cruelty is the point." The point of the cruelty is to assemble and maintain the coalition. Cruelty is the tactic. Power is the point:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/03/09/turkeys-voting-for-christmas/#culture-wars

The right has assembled a lot of power. They did so by maintaining unity among people who have irreconcilable ethics and goals. Think of the pro-genocide coalition that includes far-right Jewish ethno-nationalists, antisemitic apocalyptic Christians who believe they are hastening the end-times, and Islamophobes of every description, from War On Terror relics to Hindu nationalists.

This is quite an improbable coalition, and while I deplore its goals, I can't help but be impressed by its cohesion. Can you imagine the kind of behind-the-scenes work it takes to get antisemites who think Jews secretly control the world to lobby with Zionists? Or to get Zionists to work alongside of Holocaust-denying pencilneck Hitler wannabes whose biggest regret is not bringing their armbands to Charlottesville?

Which brings me back to Project 2025 and its true significance. As Perlstein writes, Project 2025 is a mess. Clocking in an 900 pages, large sections of Project 2025 flatly contradict each other, while other sections contain subtle contradictions that you wouldn't notice unless you were schooled in the specialized argot of the far right's jargon and history.

For example, Project 2025 calls for defunding government agencies and repurposing the same agencies to carry out various spectacular atrocities. Both actions are deplorable, but they're also mutually exclusive. Project 2025 demands four different, completely irreconcilable versions of US trade policy. But at least that's better than Project 2025's chapter on monetary policy, which simply lays out every right wing theory of money and then throws up its hands and recommends none of them.

Perlstein says that these conflicts, blank spots and contradictions are the most important parts of Project 2025. They are the fracture lines in the coalition: the conflicting ideas that have enough support that neither side can triumph over the other. These are the conflicts that are so central to the priorities of blocs that are so important to the coalition that they must be included, even though that inclusion constitutes a blinking "LOOK AT ME" sign telling us where the right is ready to split apart.

The right is really good at this. Perlstein points to Nixon's expansion of affirmative action, undertaken to sow division between Black and white workers. We need to get better at it.

So far, we've lavished attention on the clearest and most emphatic proposals in Project 2025 – for understandable reasons. These are the things they say they want to do. It would be reckless to ignore them. But they've been saying things like this for a century. These demands constitute a compelling argument for fighting them as a matter of urgency, with the intention of winning. And to win, we need to split apart their coalition.

Perlstein calls on us to dissect Project 2025, to cleave it at its joints. To do so, he says we need to understand its antecedents, like Nixon's "Malek Manual," a roadmap for destroying the lives of civil servants who failed to show sufficient loyalty to Nixon. For example, the Malek Manual lays out a "Traveling Salesman Technique" whereby a government employee would be given duties "criss-crossing him across the country to towns (hopefully with the worst accommodations possible) of a population of 20,000 or under. Until his wife threatens him with divorce unless he quits, you have him out of town and out of the way":

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Final_Report_on_Violations_and_Abuses_of/0dRLO9vzQF0C?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22organization+of+a+political+personnel+office+and+program%22&pg=PA161&printsec=frontcover

It's no coincidence that leftist historians of the right are getting a lot of attention. Trumpism didn't come out of nowhere – Trump is way too stupid and undisciplined to be a cause – he's an effect. In his excellent, bestselling new history of the right in the early 1990s, When the Clock Broke, Josh Ganz shows us the swamp that bred Trump, with such main characters as the fascist eugenicist Sam Francis:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9780374605445/whentheclockbroke

Ganz joins the likes of the Know Your Enemy podcast, an indispensable history of reactionary movements that does excellent work in tracing the fracture lines in the right coalition:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/when-clock-broke-106803105

Progressives are also an uneasy coalition that is easily splintered. As Naomi Klein argues in her essential Doppelganger, the liberal-left coalition is inherently unstable and contains the seeds of its own destruction:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/05/not-that-naomi/#if-the-naomi-be-klein-youre-doing-just-fine

Liberals have been the senior partner in that coalition, and their commitment to preserving institutions for their own sake (rather than because of what they can do to advance human thriving) has produced generations of weak and ineffectual responses to the crises of terminal-stage capitalism, like the idea that student-debt cancellation should be means-tested:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/03/utopia-of-rules/#in-triplicate

The last bid for an American aristocracy was repelled by rejecting institutions, not preserving them. When the Supreme Court thwarted the New Deal, FDR announced his intention to pack the court, and then began the process of doing so (which included no-holds-barred attacks on foot-draggers in his own party). Not for nothing, this is more-or-less what Lincoln did when SCOTUS blocked Reconstruction:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/20/judicial-equilibria/#pack-the-court

But the liberals who lead the progressive movement dismiss packing the court as unserious and impractical – notwithstanding the fact that they have no plan for rescuing America from the bribe-taking extremists, the credibly accused rapist, and the three who stole their robes. Ultimately, liberals defend SCOTUS because it is the Supreme Court. I defended SCOTUS, too – while it was still a vestigial organ of the rights revolution, which improved the lives of millions of Americans. Human rights are worth defending, SCOTUS isn't. If SCOTUS gets in the way of human rights, then screw SCOTUS. Sideline it. Pack it. Make it a joke.

Fuck it.

This isn't to argue for left seccession from the progressive coalition. As we just saw in France, splitting at this moment is an invitation to literal fascist takeover:

https://jacobin.com/2024/07/melenchon-macron-france-left-winner

But if there's one thing that the rise of Trumpism has proven, it's that parties are not immune to being wrestled away from their establishment leaderships by radical groups:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/16/that-boy-aint-right/#dinos-rinos-and-dunnos

What's more, there's a much stronger natural coalition that the left can mobilize: workers. Being a worker – that is, paying your bills from wages, instead of profits – isn't an ideology you can change, it's a fact. A Christian nationalist can change their beliefs and then they will no longer be a Christian nationalist. But no matter what a worker believes, they are still a worker – they still have a irreconcilable conflict with people whose money comes from profits, speculation, or rents. There is no objectively fair way to divide the profits a worker's labor generates – your boss will always pay you as little of that surplus as he can. The more wages you take home, the less profit there is for your boss, the fewer dividends there are for his shareholders, and the less there is to pay to rentiers:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/19/make-them-afraid/#fear-is-their-mind-killer

Reviving the role of workers in their unions, and of unions in the Democratic party, is the key to building the in-party power we need to drag the party to real solutions – strong antimonopoly action, urgent climate action, protections for gender, racial and sexual minorities, and decent housing, education and health care.

The alternative to a worker-led Democratic Party is a Democratic Party run by its elites, whose dictates and policies are inescapably illegitimate. As Hamilton Nolan writes, the completely reasonable (and extremely urgent) discussion about Biden's capacity to defeat Trump has been derailed by the Democrats' undemocratic structure. Ultimately, the decision to have an open convention or to double down on a candidate whose campaign has been marred by significant deficits is down to a clutch of party officials who operate without any formal limits or authority:

https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/p/the-hole-at-the-heart-of-the-democratic

Jettisoning Biden because George Clooney (or Nancy Pelosi) told us to is never going to feel legitimate to his supporters in the party. But if the movement for an open convention came from grassroots-dominated unions who themselves dominated the party – as was the case, until the Reagan revolution – then there'd be a sense that the party had constituents, and it was acting on its behalf.

Reviving the labor movement after 40 years of Reaganomic war on workers may sound like a tall order, but we are living through a labor renaissance, and the long-banked embers of labor radicalism are reigniting. What's more, repelling fascism is what workers' movements do. The business community will always sell you out to the Nazis in exchange for low taxes, cheap labor and loose regulation.

But workers, organized around their class interests, stand strong. Last week, we lost one of labor's brightest flames. Jane McAlevey, a virtuoso labor organizer and trainer of labor organizers, died of cancer at 57:

https://jacobin.com/2024/07/jane-mcalevey-strategy-organizing-obituary

McAlevey fought to win. She was skeptical of platitudes like "speaking truth to power," always demanding an explanation for how the speech would become action. In her classic book A Collective Bargain, she describes how she built worker power:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/23/a-collective-bargain/

McAlevey helped organize a string of successful strikes, including the 2019 LA teachers' strike. Her method was straightforward: all you have to do to win a strike or a union drive is figure out how to convince every single worker in the shop to back the union. That's all.

Of course, it's harder than it sounds. All the problems that plague every coalition – especially the progressive liberal/left coalition – are present on the shop floor. Some workers don't like each other. Some don't see their interests aligned with others. Some are ornery. Some are convinced that victory is impossible.

McAlevey laid out a program for organizing that involved figuring out how to reach every single worker, to converse with them, listen to them, understand them, and win them over. I've never read or heard anyone speak more clearly, practically and inspirationally about coalition building.

Biden was never my candidate. I supported three other candidates ahead of him in 2020. When he got into office and started doing a small number of things I really liked, it didn't make me like him. I knew who he was: the Senator from MBNA, whose long political career was full of bills, votes and speeches that proved that while we might have some common goals, we didn't want the same America or the same world.

My interest in Biden over the past four years has had two areas of focus: how can I get him to do more of the things that will make us all better off, and do less of the things that make the world worse. When I think about the next four years, I'm thinking about the same things. A Trump presidency will contain far more bad things and far fewer good ones.

Many people I like and trust have pointed out that they don't like Biden and think he will be a bad president, but they think Trump will be much worse. To limit Biden's harms, leftists have to take over the Democratic Party and the progressive movement, so that he's hemmed in by his power base. To limit Trump's harms, leftists have to identify the fracture lines in the right coalition and drive deep wedges into them, shattering his power base.

Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/14/fracture-lines/#disassembly-manual

#pluralistic #politics #project 2025 #heritage foundation #history #jane macalevey #rip #tactics #republicans in disarray #turkeys voting for christmas #rick perlstein #know your enemy #fracture lines #when the clock broke #john ganz #hamilton nolan

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vaspider · 15 days ago

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At my old shul, they have a Torah scroll that is about 400 years old. It is a Shoah survivor and it was preserved bc it was smuggled out of what is now the Czech Republic, IIRC, during WWII, with some other refugees.

And now it is retired and in a conservation case bc it is too fragile to touch anymore, but almost a decade ago now, that was the first Torah I held, the day of my beit din & my conversion being final. This is also the case for Emet, and for Cat. Cat's confirmation class was the last class to read from it during their confirmation -- when it was used, before it was retired, it was only ever unrolled once a year, to the same spot, which is the parsha that the confirmation class always has, to minimize damage, and they retired it when it became too fragile even for that. Like, when it tipped over from 'incredibly fragile' to 'probably not kosher anymore,' they had to set it aside.

Remembering that made me feel … bittersweet happy, because it feels like the way we keep and remake and renew connections no matter what happens, to be realizing, "Oh, I should tell [my friend's wife, who is a Sephardic Jew from Prague], about the survivor Torah." I remember when they handed it to me thinking that it weighed just about as much as Cat did when she was born… and was somehow also immensely weighted. At the time, someone asked me if it was heavy, and I said, "Not at all, and incredibly."

#judaism #jumblr

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citysuk · 5 months ago

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echoes of us | anakin skywalker

pairing: anakin skywalker x fem!reader

summary: anakin has spent the last four years away from you, consumed by his duties as a jedi, trying to move past the pain of your departure. although seeing you again wasn't something that he was expecting, the reunion leads to a tense confrontation, where anakin's deep-seated feelings clash with his lover's sense of duty, highlighting the tragic consequences of their forbidden relationship.

words: 7,1k words (oops)

warnings: please, you already know me so ANGST. kinda manipulative anakin¿ only a little bit. stubborn reader for the sake of the plot, i'm sorry (i'm not). a little bit of spicy hehehhe. no smut tho. no use of y/n but no oc neither. no proofread. i won't say a word about the finale so read to know what happens at the end 😤

notes: i just- (SATURATED SCREAMS). i'm on a star wars binge and i just couldn't help myself, i needed to write this. all i want in life is someone to love me like anakin loves her.

It's been four long years since you left, and Anakin Skywalker has tried to move on with his life. He throws himself into his duties as a Jedi, taking on more missions and responsibilities. He pushes himself to his limits and beyond, trying to forget about the pain of losing you. But no matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to shake the memories. You're always there, lurking in the back of his mind, a constant reminder of what he lost. His heart still aches for you, and he still feels a sense of emptiness inside him.

As the years have passed, he has become more stoic, more reserved. He barely smiles anymore, and his laugh is rare. His fellow Jedi see these changes in him and wonder what has happened to make him so serious and cold. But Anakin keeps his emotions buried deep inside, never letting them surface, never letting anyone see the pain he's feeling. He's become a shadow of his former self, the bright-eyed and carefree Padawan replaced by a hardened and withdrawn Jedi Knight.

As the Clone Wars rage on, Anakin throws himself into battle, fighting with a ferocity and intensity that borders on feral. He's become a skilled and feared warrior, known for his bravery and skill, but also for his ruthless efficiency and lack of mercy towards his enemies. Even his fellow Jedi, the ones who are closest to him, cannot penetrate the shell he’s built around himself. He hides his emotions so well that it’s as if they don’t exist anymore, and no one suspects the depth of the pain he’s carrying inside him. He still feels your loss like a physical wound, and he fears that it will never heal. But he cannot let himself think of it, cannot allow himself to dwell on the past. He has a duty to the Jedi Order and the Republic, and longing can distract him from that.

So he goes through the motions of being a Jedi, fighting in the war, protecting the innocent, and doing his best to serve the greater good. But deep down, he knows that he'll never be truly happy again, that he'll carry his pain to the grave.

There are times, when he’s alone in the darkness of night, that he lets his guard down, that is when he allows his emotions to surface. And in those moments, he allows himself to think of you, to remember the happy times you had together, to ache for what might have been. But then, as the night ends and the morning comes, he pushes those thoughts away, locking them back up inside him, and he goes back to being the stoic and reserved Jedi Knight that everyone expects him to be.

And the cycle of pain and loneliness continues day after day, year after year. He keeps on living, fighting, and serving, but deep down, he knows that a part of him will always be empty, the part that you took when you left.

He wonders sometimes if you ever think of him and if you ever reflect on your time together with the same sense of melancholy and regret that he does. But he doesn’t allow himself to hope for that. It’s better to just keep pushing forward, to keep fighting the war and doing his duty.

That's until he hears the news that your father is coming to visit the Order. His heart skips a beat it's the first thing that he feels. He knows that since you went back to your planet your father never travels without you by his side, and this won't be the exception. His mind reels at the possibility of seeing you again. It’s been four years since you left to help your father in his political arrangements. Four long and lonely years. The thought of being in your presence again, even for a brief moment, fills him with a mix of emotions. Anticipation and dread, hope and fear.

He tries to keep his emotions in check, not wanting to get his hopes up too high. The idea of seeing you again after all this time is too good to be true. Besides, he knows that there is a small chance that you will not come to the temple, but he decides to embrace the possibility of at least seeing you.

When the masters of the Order confirmed that you would arrive with your father, he couldn't help but feel a rush of adrenaline running through his whole body. There's gotta be some sort of catch in this whole situation. But the more he thinks about it, the more he wants it and needs it.

As the day of your arrival approaches, he can't help but feel anxious. He doesn't know what to expect, how he'll react when he sees you. Will he be able to keep his emotions in check? Or will they surface in a wave of longing and regret? He tries to prepare himself, to steel himself for the moment. He tells himself it's just a visit, that it doesn't mean anything. But deep down, he knows that's not true. He's been waiting for this moment for years, and he can't deny the excitement and anticipation that's building inside him.

When the day finally arrives, he waits anxiously in the Temple, trying to remain calm. But his heart is racing, his palms are sweaty, and he can barely keep still. He's acutely aware of every passing moment, every second that brings him closer to seeing you again. His fellow Jedi notice his change in demeanor. He's usually so stoic and collected, but now he's jittery and restless, out of character for him. They wonder what could be causing this change, and they eye him with curious and sometimes amused glances. But Anakin ignores them, his thoughts solely focused on the moment ahead. He rehearses different scenarios in his head, trying to figure out how he’ll act when he sees you. But no matter how he imagines it, he can’t quite predict what will happen. The thought of facing you again after so long both thrills and terrifies him.

And then, finally, the moment arrives. He sees you walking through the Temple, in the company of your father and a few other dignitaries. The sight of you takes his breath away. You’ve grown, your features more mature and defined. But the sight of you holding the hand of another young politician he heard being called Kenth Cardas it's what makes him feel sick to the stomach. His heart clenches as he watches you, a sudden realization hitting him like a knife to the heart. You’re with someone else. Another man. And the pain that washes over him is sharper and more intense than any pain he’s ever felt before.

It takes all his willpower to keep his composure, to keep the expression of his face neutral. But inside, he’s seething with jealousy and hurt. He had been hoping, even expecting, for you to be single.

The thought of another man’s hands on you, another man’s eyes taking in your beauty, it’s almost too much for him to bear. He watches as you, your father, and your companion make your way through the Temple, greeting the Jedi and discussing diplomatic matters. Every step you take, every word you utter, it feels like the knife is being twisted in his heart. He wants to walk up to you, to pull you away from the other man and take you for himself. But he knows that’s not an option. You’re not his. You never were.

The scene is too abhorrent for him, he cannot bear another second of seeing you with another man that isn't him. With a lump in his throat and tears of frustration pricking at his eyes, Anakin turns and strides away from the scene, the sound of your laugh following him as he goes. He can’t stay there, can’t watch you pretending to be happy with someone else. It’s too painful, too agonizing. He needs to get away, to be alone, and try to process the torrent of emotions that threatens to overwhelm him. He heads to one of the quieter parts of the Temple, a place where he can be alone and try to get his emotions under control. He leans against the cold stone wall, his hands clenching into fists. He tries to push the image of you with another man out of his mind, but it’s burned into his memory, seared into his eyeballs. He’s never felt this level of jealousy and hurt before, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He feels like he’s unraveling like everything he’s worked to keep under control is suddenly slipping through his fingers. He punches the wall in impotent rage, the pain in his knuckles a welcome distraction from the pain in his heart. He wants to scream, to shout, to let out all the emotions that are boiling inside him. He stays still there for a few minutes which seems like hours, until he feels a presence behind him.

He turns, his heart racing as he senses who it is. And sure enough, there you are, standing a few feet away from him, looking at him with a mixture of concern and uncertainty. An uncomfortable silence settles between them as they stare at each other. The air is thick with emotion and tension, and Anakin feels his heart thudding in his chest. He doesn’t know what to say, or how to react.

He studies you as you stand there, his eyes roving over your face, taking in every detail. You’re even more beautiful than he remembers, but there’s a sense of sadness and resignation in your eyes that he doesn’t quite understand. He wants to say something, to break the silence that hangs between you like a thick fog. But the words stick in his throat, and he can’t force them out. Instead, he just stands there, staring at you like an idiot.

Taking a deep breath, you break the silence, your voice soft and hesitant. “Ani... Can I talk to you? For a moment.”

Anakin nods, barely able to speak. His heart is racing, his mind spinning. He can’t believe you’re really standing here in front of him, that he’s actually talking to you again after all this time. “Of course,” he manages to say, his voice rough and raspy.

You take another step closer, the distance between you feeling like an eternity. You look up at him, your eyes searching his face as if you’re looking for something. “It’s been a long time, you've grown,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

He nods again, feeling a lump in his throat. He wants to tell you how much he’s missed you, how many nights he’s spent thinking of you, yearning for you. But the words won’t come. He’s scared, scared to show you the depth of his feelings, scared that you’ll reject him. “Yeah, it has,” he manages to reply, his voice flat and emotionless.

You notice his tone, the way he’s putting up his walls, trying to keep his emotions in check. You know him too well, you can sense how he was feeling, the storm of emotions raging inside him. But you also know how stubborn he can be, how he’s willing to suffer in silence rather than admit his true feelings. You take another step closer, closing the distance between you even further. You reach out to touch his arm, your hand tentative and gentle, like you’re handling a wild animal. He freezes at your touch, his breath catching in his throat. He can feel the heat of your hand through the fabric of his sleeve, the warmth of your touch seeping into his skin. He wants to reach out and pull you to him, bury his face in your hair, and breathe in your scent. But he stands still, frozen in the moment, unable to move. You can feel his tension, the way his body is coiled tight like a spring. But you can also see the flicker of emotions in his eyes, the way his walls are crumbling as he stares at you. You know that underneath the hard exterior, there’s a part of him that’s aching to be let out, yearning for affection and connection.

You move closer still, your hand still gently resting on his arm. You’re so close now that he can feel your breath on his skin, the warmth of your body almost touching his. He shivers involuntarily, overwhelmed by your proximity. He wants to pull you to him, to hold you tight, and never let you go. He looks down at you, his eyes roving over your face, taking in every detail. He notices the flecks of gold in your eyes, the slight blush on your cheeks, the curve of your lips. It’s all he can do to keep his composure, to keep his emotions in check. But seeing you this close to him, feeling your touch on his skin, it’s like a dam breaking inside him. He takes a shuddering breath, trying to steady himself. He wants to tell you how much he’s missed you, how much he’s still in love with you, and how much he’s been hurting since you left. But the words won’t come, stuck in his throat like they’re glued there.

He’s torn between the conflicting desires to push you away and to pull you closer. Part of him wants to protect himself from further hurt, but a greater part of him is desperate to have you close, to feel your touch, and to hear your voice. He stands there, caught in an agony of indecision, his heart and his mind warring with each other. He wants to do the right thing, the sensible thing. But when it comes to you, he’s never been able to do what’s smart or pragmatic. He’s always been guided by his emotions, and right now, his emotions are screaming at him to take what he wants, consequences be damned. He can feel his resolve weakening, the walls he’s built around his heart crumbling. He’s always been a man of action, but right now, he doesn't know what to do.

You look up at him, your heart racing in your chest. You can sense the turmoil inside him, the storm of emotions raging in his eyes. You know that he’s struggling to keep his composure, but you also know how much he’s hurting. You take a deep breath, summoning up the courage to say what you need to say. “Ani, I didn’t forget the time we spent together, the promises we made.”

His eyes widen at your words, his heart skipping a beat. He hadn’t expected you to say that, to admit that you’ve been thinking of him all this time. He feels a surge of hope and longing rise in his chest, his breath catching in his throat. You pressed on, your voice was soft but firm. “The friendship we maintained for so many years will always be marked in my mind, no matter where I am.”

He feels his heart skip a beat at your words. It’s what he’s wanted to hear for so long, the confirmation that you still think of him, that there’s still a chance for them.

He stands there, frozen in the moment, caught between the desire to pull you to him and the fear that if he does, it will only end in heartbreak. He doesn’t know what to say, or how to react. He feels like he’s in a dream like this isn’t happening.

He looks down at you, his eyes roving over your face. He sees the honesty and vulnerability you’re showing him. He wants to believe you, he wants to let himself hope. But he can’t shake the feeling that this is just a cruel trick, the vision of you holding that man's hand it's something that he can't shake off his head. He feels that he’s going to wake up any minute and find himself alone again.

He starts to pull away, his walls going up again. “I don’t believe you,” he says, his voice cold and distant.

Your eyes widen at his words, your heart sinking at the tone of his voice. You had expected some resistance, but you didn’t expect him to deny your feelings outright. "What I'm saying it's truthful, I never stopped thinking about you"

He shakes his head, his eyes hard and cold. He wants to push you away, to protect himself from the pain. “I don’t want to hear it,” he says gruffly. “It’s too late, it’s been four years. You made your choice when I asked you to stay but you left.”

You blink back tears at his words, the hurt and anger in his voice like a knife to your gut. You had hoped that he would understand, that he would see how much you still cared for him. “You know that what we were feeling exceeded friendliness and was wrong, the attachments are prohibited. This was for something bigger than you and me both,” you say, looking at him almost guilty.

He scoffs at your words, his anger rising. “Don’t talk to me about attachments. I know the Code, I know about the stupid rules. But don’t tell me that what we had meant anything to you since you come here now holding another man's hand.” Anakin is seething with jealousy now, his hands clenching into fists. The thought of you with another man, another man touching you and holding you, it’s more than he can bear. He wants to grab you and shake you, to make you understand how much the sight of you with someone else hurts him.

He takes a step closer, looming over you. He’s taller and stronger than you, and he towers above you, his presence intimidating. “Tell me the truth,” he growls. “Did you ever really love me, or was it all just a lie?”

Your heart is racing in your chest as he looms over you, his eyes flashing with anger and hurt. You can feel the tension in the air, the danger and volatility of the situation. “Of course I loved you,” you say, your voice shaking just a little. “I loved you with all my heart, and I still do.”

He sneers at your words, his face twisting into a cruel smile. He doesn’t believe you, doesn’t want to believe you. It’s easier to think that you’re lying, that you never really loved him at all. “Prove it,” he snaps. “Prove that you love me.”

You’re taken aback by his challenge, his demand. You didn’t expect him to ask you to prove your feelings, to put them to the test. “What… what do you mean, prove it?” you ask, your voice small and uncertain.

He takes another step closer, his body almost touching yours. He’s so close that you can feel the heat of his skin, the tension radiating off him in waves. “Kiss me,” he says, his voice low and dangerous. “Kiss me like you mean it. Show me that you’re not just playing with me.”

Your heart skips a beat at his words, the intensity of his gaze, and the heat of his body. You’re nervous and hesitant, but you also feel a pang of longing and desire. You want to prove to him that your feelings are real, that you’re not just toying with him. You can feel his breath on your lips, the heat of his mouth just inches away from yours. "I'm engaged." You blurt out.

His face darkens at your words, the mention of your engagement like a slap in the face. He feels a surge of irrational jealousy and anger, the idea of you marrying someone else infuriating him. “So what?” he snaps. “You’re engaged to someone else, but you’re still here, standing here in front of me, telling me that you love me. Kiss me. You said you still love me. Prove it.”

You're taken aback by his insistence, his refusal to listen to reason. "It's not that simple, Ani," you say, trying to maintain your composure. "I'm with another person now, and it wouldn't be right to-"

He cuts you off, grabbing you by the wrists and pulling you to him so that your bodies are pressed together. He’s breathing heavily, his chest heaving with emotion. He’s on the edge, barely holding it together. He can feel the warmth of your body pressed against his, the scent of your skin, the beat of your heart. “Damn the rules, damn the Code,” he says, his voice low and dangerous. “I want to feel your lips on mine. I want to taste you, I want to hold you. I don’t care about anything else.”

You can see the desperation in his eyes, the hunger and need. You’re torn, part of you wants to give in to his demand, to give yourself over to the passion and desire that always existed between you. But another part of you is wary, knowing that this is dangerous, that indulging in this could lead to nothing but pain and heartache. "Ani, stop," you say, your voice gentle but firm. "We can't do this. We can't let ourselves go down this path."

He scoffs at your words, his grip on your wrists tightening. He can’t believe you’re still resisting him, still holding back when you’ve already admitted that you still love him. “Why not?” he asks, his voice a low growl. “What’s stopping us? You said you love me. You can’t deny that you want this. I can see it in your eyes.”

You feel your resolve weakening, the heat of his body and the intensity of his gaze making it hard to think straight. "I can't do this to Kenth," you say, trying to hold onto your reasoning. "I can't just throw away what I have with him. I can't hurt him like that. He's a good man."

He scoffs again, his jealousy flaring at the mention of your fiancé. To him, he's nothing more than a rival, a hindrance to what he wants. "A good man," he sneers. "What does he have that I don’t? What can he give you that I can’t?"

You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of his question. You know that your fiancé is a good person, kind and respectful, but you also know that he’s not the same as Ani. There’s something about your history with Anakin, something about the passion and intensity of your connection, that’s unique and special. “It’s not about what he has or what he can give me,” you say, your voice quiet but firm. "It's about the future and following the rules for the sake of everyone."

He feels a pang of jealousy and bitterness at your words, the idea of you building a life with someone else it's like his biggest nightmare turning into reality.

“You’re mine,” he says through clenched teeth. “You will always be mine. I don’t care about your fiancé, your future, or anything else. I only care about you. So stop thinking about what you should do, and what you shouldn’t do, and just feel. For once in your life, just let yourself feel what you know you want.”

His words strike a chord within you, the intensity and possessiveness of his declaration igniting a spark of desire deep inside you. You can feel yourself weakening, your resolve cracking under the weight of his words. “Ani, please,” you say, your voice little more than a whisper. “This isn’t fair.”His words send a shiver down your spine, the heat of his body and the strength of his grip making it impossible to resist him. You’re caught between reason and emotion, torn between your loyalty to your fiancé and the deep-seated love you still feel for him. “Please…” you whisper, your voice breaking. “You’re not thinking straight. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

He looks down at you, his eyes burning with intensity. “I know exactly what I’m doing,” he says, his voice fierce and determined. “I’m claiming what should have always been mine. I’m taking what I want. You.” He leans down, his mouth hovering mere inches from yours, his breath hot against your skin. The tension between you is electric, the air thick with desire and need. Your breath catches in your throat, your heart racing in your chest. You can feel the heat and power radiating off of him, the primal force of his need and desire nearly overpowering your senses. You know that you should resist, that you should push him away and run before it’s too late. But you can’t bring yourself to do it. Your body is drawn to his, your mind consumed with the need to feel his lips on yours.

He can see the conflict in your eyes, the battle between your loyalty and your desires. He can tell that you’re close to breaking, close to giving in to what you both want. He leans in even closer, his lips practically touching yours. “Stop fighting it,” he whispers, his voice low and sultry. “Stop trying to be strong, and just let go. I know you want this. You’ve always wanted this.“ His words send a jolt of electricity through your body, the truth of them hitting you like a ton of bricks. You know that he’s right, that deep down you’ve always wanted this, always wanted him. You know that no matter how hard you try to deny it, there will be a part of you that will always belong to him. You can feel your resistance crumbling, your body and mind completely under his control.

He senses your surrender, the last of your resistance crumbling beneath the weight of his words and his touch. He can feel the heat and desire radiating off you, the air between you electric and charged. Without another word, he closes the tiny gap between you and captures your lips with his own. The moment his lips meet yours, it’s like a circuit is completed. The floodgates of long-suppressed desire burst open, and you kiss him back with a passion that takes your breath away. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced before, the intensity and heat of it like a storm, crashing over you and consuming you whole. You respond to the kiss with equal hunger and fervor, his hands moving to cup your face, to pull you closer to him. He wants to devour you, to possess you completely. He can feel the tension building between you, the passion and need threatening to overwhelm you both.

You wrap your arms around him, pulling him towards you and molding your body against his. You can feel his strength, his power, the taut muscles of his back, and the heat of his skin beneath his robes. The kiss deepens, your mouths moving together in a dance of desire and need. Your hearts are racing, your bodies electrified by the heat of the kiss.

You feel the possessive urgency in his touch, the hunger and need in his every movement. You can feel the jealousy and the anger, the primal need to possess you completely. And despite yourself, you feel your body responding to his touch, igniting a fire deep within you that you thought was long extinguished.

He breaks the kiss, his eyes burning into yours, his body still pressing you against the wall. He’s panting, his breathing ragged and uneven, his body vibrating with need. “You’re mine,” he growls, his voice raw and hoarse. “No one else is ever going to touch you, no one else is going to have you. I want you to leave him.“

Your mind is hazy, your thoughts clouded by the heat and desire coursing through your body. You know that you should resist him, however, you want to tell him that he owns your body and soul completely. But your mind betrays you, your words coming out in little more than a breath. "I... I can't," you whisper, your voice trembling.

The words are like a cold bucket of water to his face, his eyes flashing with a mixture of hurt and anger. He pulls back from you slightly, his hands still on your hips, anchoring you to the wall. “Why not?” he bites out, his voice rough and sharp. “What’s stopping you?“

You try to find the words to explain, to tell him that it’s too much, that you’re still engaged to someone else. But before you can form the words, he’s leaning back in, his body pressing against yours once again. “Tell me,” he says, his voice a low growl in your ear. “Tell me why you can’t be mine. I want to hear you say it.“ The heat and desire that was coursing through you moments ago has faded, replaced by a sense of guilt and confusion. You know that you should put your foot down, that you should remind him of your engagement. But you’re finding it increasingly hard to think straight as he presses his body against yours, his voice a seductive whisper in your ear. “It's a political arrangement.” You manage to say, the words coming out in a shaky breath.

A low, possessive growl escapes his throat as he hears your words. "What do you mean, a 'political arrangement'?" he snaps, his hands tightening on your hips. "Explain."

You take a shaky breath, your body still pressed against the cool surface of the wall. The primal possessiveness of his touch sends a shiver down your spine. “My marriage. It’s an arrangement made by our families,” you explain, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s meant to strengthen our families’ political relationships.”

His jaw clenches at your words. The thought of you entering into a political arrangement with someone else, someone who didn’t deserve you, is enough to make his blood boil. He moves his body impossibly closer, his hands shifting to cup your face, his voice a low growl. “So your family basically sold you to someone else for political gain?”

Your heart sinks at the harsh truth of his words. In the back of your mind, you’ve always known that the engagement was more about politics than love. But the truth hurts, especially hearing it said out loud. You can feel the tension and possessive anger in his body, the way his body is pressed against yours like a cage. You know he’s not going to let this go easily. You nod, your voice barely above a whisper. “Essentially, yes.“

His mind reels at your admission, his anger and jealousy growing even stronger. He can’t believe that your family would treat you like a bargaining chip like a possession to be traded away for political gain. “And you agreed to this?” he practically spits out, his voice thick with anger. “You agreed to marry someone you don’t even love?“

Your heart twists at the anger and hurt in his voice, but you can’t deny the truth of his words. You did agree to marry someone you don’t love, all because of your family’s political aspirations. You nod again, your eyes downcast. You’re ashamed and embarrassed, and guilt washes over you like a wave. You know you’ve hurt him by agreeing to marry someone else, but you don’t know how to fix it.

He pulls back slightly, his hands falling from your face. He feels a mix of anger, hurt, and jealousy coursing through him, the primal possessiveness warring with the need to protect you. “So you’re going to marry him?” he asks, his voice low and hoarse. “You’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone you don’t even love? Are you gonna be happy with that?“

You find yourself unable to meet his gaze. You’ve never thought about it that way before, but there isn't much that you can do. You shake your head slowly, your voice barely above a whisper. “It's the best outcome for everyone. For my family, the Order, the Force... and for you.“

His jaw clamps shut at your words, a surge of anger and frustration coursing through him. The thought of you marrying someone else, settling for a life that is anything less than what you deserve, is unbearable to him. “Best outcome for everyone?” he grits out, his voice raw with emotion. “Except for you. What about what you want? What about your happiness?“ His words sting bitterly, the shame and guilt you feel growing stronger. You know that your happiness is not a priority in this arrangement, that it never has been. But the truth hurts, especially when it’s said out loud. You shake your head again, your voice trembling. “It doesn’t matter. I have a duty, the responsibility to see this through.“

His heart aches at your words, the fact that you’re willing to sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of duty is something he can’t understand. It goes against everything he believes in, against everything he fights for. “Duty and responsibility be damned,” he snaps, his voice edged with anger and frustration. “You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with someone who loves you, who worships the ground you walk on. Not some political arrangement.“

Your heart clenches at his words, the mix of anger and desperation in his voice bringing tears to your eyes. You know he’s right, deep down you’ve always known that you deserve more than you’re settling for. But duty and responsibility have always been pounded into you, and the thought of going against them is terrifying. “It’s not that simple,” you whisper, your voice thick with emotion. “It’s not just about me. It’s about the Republic, the Jedi Order…”

He scoffs at your words, the anger and frustration growing stronger. The fact that you’re still focusing on what's expected of you, even after everything you’ve just shared, is frustrating for him. “None of that matters if you’re not happy. You’re not some pawn to be used in someone else’s game.“

Your heart aches more with every word he says, the truth of them echoing in your head. You know he’s right, you know that your happiness should come first, but the years of conditioning and expectations are hard to break. “I can’t just... abandon everything...” you say, your voice weak. “I can’t disappoint them.“

His eyes flash with anger and disbelief, his patience wearing thin. “You’re more worried about disappointing them than about your happiness? That’s a load of Bantha poodoo and you know it. They don’t deserve your loyalty.”

He's right, you know he is. You've been putting everyone else's needs above your own for so long that it's become second nature. You look up at him, tears streaming down your face. "But what about you?" you whisper, your voice trembling.

“What about me?” he echoes, his voice hoarse with emotion. “You’re choosing someone else over me. You’re choosing a life of political duty over our happiness, over what we could have together.“ He steps closer to you again, his body once again pinning you against the wall. His hands reach out to cup your face, his touch gentle despite the storm of emotion raging within him. “We could have a life together. We could be happy.“

Your heart clenches at his words, the weight of the decision you’re facing hitting you like a ton of durasteel. You know what you want, deep down you know that you’d give anything to be with him. But responsibility, a lifetime of conditioning, is still weighing heavily on you. You lean into his touch, your eyes falling closed. Your voice is a whisper, choked with emotion. “Is that possible?” He feels a pang of pain at your question, the doubt in your voice makes him want to just keep you in his arms until you understand what you mean to him. He’s never been more sure of anything in his life. “Yes,” he says, his voice steady and firm, despite the emotions churning inside him. “It’s possible. It’s more than possible. It’s what I want, what I’ve wanted since I met you.“ His hands tighten on your face, his touch gentle yet possessive. “Please, don’t marry him. Choose me.“

His words and touch cut through the fog of doubt and confusion surrounding you. The thought of choosing him, of having a life with him, fills you with a sense of longing and hope that you’ve never known before. For the first time, the thought of your future isn’t shrouded in obligations, it’s filled with love and happiness. You let out a ragged breath, your body tense. “I don’t want to marry Kenth.” You whisper.

His heart nearly leaps out of his chest at your words, a surge of triumph and relief coursing through him. He pulls you closer, his arms wrapping around you like a vise, pulling you flush against him. His body is taut with need and desire, the primal possessiveness in him raging stronger than ever. “Then don’t.” he whispers into your ear, his voice a low growl. “Be with me.“

Your body melds against him, your trembling hands coming up to rest on his shoulders. You feel a mix of relief and desire and fear coursing through you as you look into his eyes, your voice a whisper. “What if they find out? What if they try to... stop us? Or worse, haunt us?“

He pulls back slightly to look at you, his eyes burning with a mix of passion and determination. The thought of anyone trying to stop or hurt you fills him with a fierce, protective rage. “They’ll try,” he says, his voice hard. “But I’ll never let anything happen to you. I’ll protect you, no matter what. And if anyone tries to stop us, they’ll have to go through me first.“

His words, full of certainty and strength, send a shiver down your spine. You’ve never felt so wanted, so desired, so protected. The thought of being with him, of having his love and loyalty, is both exhilarating and terrifying. You look into his eyes, searching for reassurance. “And what if it doesn’t work?” you ask hesitantly. “What if we can’t make it?“

He sees the doubt and fear in your eyes, and his heart clenches at the thought of losing you. He pulls you even closer, his body pressed against yours, his arms wrapped around you fiercely. “It will work,” he says, his voice firm and unwavering. “I’ll make sure it does. I won’t let anything come between us.“ He leans in, his lips brushing against your ear, his voice a low growl. “I love you. And I won’t let anyone or anything take you away from me.“

His words, spoken with such unwavering conviction, send a jolt of hope and love through you. You’ve never felt so safe, so cherished, so loved. You can feel the heat and strength of his body against yours, the possessiveness and determination radiating off him in waves. You close your eyes, leaning into him, his lips at your ear. “I love you too,“ you whisper, your voice cracking with emotion. “I’ve always loved you.“

Anakin for the first time in his life, feels complete, whole. He embraces you tightly, his hands roaming over your body, possessive and protective. “You’re mine,” he whispers, his voice rough with emotion. “And I’m yours. No one can keep us apart again. Not the Order, not the Republic, not the universe.“

You can feel the possessiveness in his touch, the way his hands roam over your body as though he owns it. And a part of you, a primal, feminine part of you, longs to be owned by him, to belong to him completely. You nod, your body molding against his, your voice a whisper. “I’m yours. Completely yours.“

His heart nearly bursts at your words, your surrender and acceptance igniting a primal, possessive need in him that nearly takes his breath away. He leans in, his lips against your neck, his voice a low, ragged growl. “Say it again. Say you’re mine.“

You tilt your head slightly, giving him better access to your neck, your body melting against his. You feel a shiver of desire run down your spine at his words, his possessive tone sending a wave of heat through you. You let out a shaky breath, your voice a ragged whisper. “I’m yours. I belong to you, completely and utterly.“

Anakin’s eyes lock onto yours, the intensity and determination in his gaze making your breath hitch. His hands coming up to cup your face, his touch achingly gentle. “There are so many words I want to say to you,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. “Words that will never do justice to how I feel about you. You’re the air that I breathe, the thought that consumes me, the obsession that drives me to the brink of madness.“ He leans in closer, his forehead pressing against yours. "You’re the reason I feel alive, the reason I’ll do anything, give anything, to be with you.“ His hands move to your back, his body pressed against yours, the raw need and desire in him almost feral. “I’ve tried to fight it for years, to deny it, but I can't. I can't pretend anymore that I don't want you, that I don't need you. Because I do. I need you more than anything. I’m obsessed with you, completely and utterly obsessed. Living without you it's like not having a soul inside of my body.“

He pulls back slightly, his eyes burning into yours, the force of his emotions like a tidal wave washing over you. “I will do whatever it takes, I will risk everything, I will defy the universe itself, to keep you by my side. You’re mine, and I will never let you go. You’re my love, my every thought, my every dream, my entire existence.“

Your heart is pounding in your chest, the intensity and passion in his words, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. Your hands reach up, touching his face, your fingers tracing over his features gently. “Ani…“ You whisper, your voice thick with emotion. “I… I don’t know what to say. You… you make me feel things I’ve never felt before. You make me feel loved, wanted, desired… worshipped.“

He leans into your touch, his eyes closing as he savors the feeling of your fingers on his skin. A small, vulnerable smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he looks at you. “Say you’ll be mine,” he whispers, his voice gruff with emotion. “Say you’ll stay with me, that you’ll be my everything. I need to hear it, I need to know that you want this as much as I do.“

His vulnerability in that moment, so different from the fierce and possessive man he usually is, makes your heart pound even harder. You look into his eyes, seeing the love, the fear, the need in them. You never knew he was capable of such emotion, such passion. “I’ll stay with you,” you murmur, your voice soft yet filled with conviction. “I’ll be yours, yours completely. For as long as you’ll have me.“

He lets out a ragged breath, his body visibly relaxing as your words sink in. The fear, the doubt, that had been lurking in his eyes vanishes, replaced by something wild and primal, something that nearly takes your breath away. “Forever,” he whispers, his voice hoarse and fierce. “I want you forever. I need you forever. You’re mine now, and I’m never letting you go. Together, we will defy the odds, we will fight fate, we will prove that love, true love, can conquer all."

His lips brush against yours, soft and gentle at first, but quickly turning hungry and demanding. His body presses against yours, the heat of his desire like a fever burning through you. The world around you falls away, leaving only you and him, lost in a moment of complete and utter obsession and love. You’re his and he's yours, and nothing else matters.

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leonw4nter · 8 months ago

Note

I really like ur fics with Leon as a dad 🤍 can I request one where it’s angst at the start but happy at the end? I think with Leon’s job he’s probably alway moving to new places and his wife is kinda at the point where she just can’t take it and worried for their kid?

My Baby Here On Earth Showed Me What My Heart Was Worth

Husband!RE:Damnation!Leon x F!Reader

“The kids are sleeping now,” you quietly tell your husband as you get into bed with him.

He hums a response, setting aside a copy of William Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury as he gets up. To go look at the kids one more time for the night, he says as he walks around the foot of the bed and towards the door. You wait until Leon noiselessly closes the door, his footsteps growing fainter as he grows more distanced from you, to sigh deeply, sitting up to lean against the cold headboard as you bury your face in your hands for a moment. You love Leon and you know that he loves you and your kids too but he’s grown increasingly distant with each passing day after coming home from deployment to the Eastern Slav Republic. You’ve done your best to show that you’re there for him, initiating conversations and even giving him simple compliments but the most he’s done is look in your direction and nod. A hum and a forced smile, if you’re lucky and he’s feeling less bad about himself. He still took care of the kids, driving them to school and playing with them in the afternoons but it’s clear that his mind is far from home. Even the kids could sense just how weary their father is, doing their best to cheer him up by giving him colorful drawings and letters. “Don’t be sad, daddy! Me, Ollie, and mama are here for yuo!” one of them reads, the word ‘you’ misspelled but Leon loved it nonetheless. For a quick moment he genuinely smiled whenever he read the letters and saw the drawings again before the frown took its place in his face again as he put the artwork in a folder and placed it back in the drawer cabinet.

You lifted your head from your hands when Leon walked back in, silent as always as he headed back to his side of the bed. You stared at him, urging him to say something–anything, just to dissolve the wall that he put up around himself but to no one’s surprise, he doesn’t speak. He checks the time on his phone and decides that it’s far too late to continue reading his book and sinks down beneath the covers, muttering a nearly inaudible ‘goodnight’ to you before he closes his eyes and drifts to sleep. Hurt, you scoff at how distant he feels. Physically, he’s home and with you but you know that emotionally and mentally, he’s still on the other side of the world and dealing with Tyrants, Lickers, and corrupt leaders. Turning the lamp off, you sink into the sheets as well and turn to face the wall. You have so much to say, so much to express to him but you’re afraid that this will only push him further from you even more. Worst case scenario, he packs his bags and sleeps in a hotel for a week before coming home plastered. He’s never done that before but you don’t want this rift to widen to the point he even considers doing that, maybe even leave behind the family he has with you for the enigmatic woman in red. Inhaling deeply, you shut your eyes before you speak to him. You don’t even think deeply about what you’re doing before your fears get to you and force you to shut up again.

“I can’t keep doing this, Leon.” You shakily begin. “We can’t keep doing this. I’m here for you, so are the kids, but you’re pushing us all away.”

“I need space.” He responds. Short and curt, straight to the point but you wish he said more.

“What does ‘space’ mean to you, Leon?” you gently ask as you sit up and face him who is still curled up on his side, his face hidden away like a secret. “I just want to know what I can do to support you while also giving you some time alone.”

“Leave me alone. There. That’s the kind of space I want,” he grumbles as he sits up, facing you. You stay silent for a moment, your sympathetic gaze on him but his eyes are elsewhere as he runs a hand through his dark hair, not wanting to see the look on your face.

“Okay. But let’s still talk, okay? Let’s voice out how we feel and communicate, I want to be able to provide you with what you need–”

“Why are you doing this?” Leon interrupts, not out of irritation but rather out of wonder. Your eyes widen for a quick moment before you inch a little near him, hesitant to reach out and place your hand on his hand.

“Because I care for you, Leon, and I don’t want to see you suffer alone. I want to be here for you and share the weight of the world on your shoulders too. You don’t have to keep it all to yourself, I can see it eating away at you.”

He doesn’t stop you when you take his hand, feeling the scars and calluses on them. He quite misses your touch, actually, but he felt like he was throwing himself a pity party whenever he thought about asking you for a hug or a kiss.

“I don’t want to bring home anything from work,” he explains. “I don’t plan on mixing it– work and home life… and I didn’t expect for it to get to this. That I’m pushing you and the kids away. I don’t… I don’t want my family to even think about how the monsters I’ve killed looked like or how I killed them. Something as precious as you three don’t deserve that. Our little ones, most of all.”

Pulling him in for the first hug in nearly two weeks, after two weeks of Leon trying to avoid your physical display of affection, he gives in. He leans his forehead on your shoulder but doesn’t wrap his arms around you and instead, lies limply on his side.

“Oh Leon,” you delicately whisper. Sushing and humming the same tune you used to hum when your toddlers were still tiny babies, you tenderly sway Leon from side to side in order to ease all the anguish he bottled up and refused to share. It doesn’t take long for his tears to wet your shoulder, his large frame shaken with stifled sobs. He went by “Condor One”, “Agent Kennedy”, and many other aliases required by his job but at the end of the day, he is your Leon Scott Kennedy. “Daddy”, as his dear children would call him.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

Leon slept in your arms, his head buried in your side with an arm slung around your stomach, for the first time in the longest time. He still shook and spoke in his sleep, flinching at times, but his sleep appeared to be much more restful. It was your turn to be unable to fall asleep now, a hand gently patting Leon’s shoulder blade with a watchful eye observing him. You were tired from the entire day and the crying you did with him hours ago but you couldn’t find it in you to doze off; you thought about your kids’ future and raising them, along with considering the fact that Leon was rarely home for a long time and was always moving to new places for indefinite periods. Each mission brought the fear that this would be the last time you’d see Leon alive, to be talking to you in person and that what would come home to you are two agents holding a folded flag, an urn, and what remained of his gear instead. It would be cruel for Leon, who proudly proclaims that his life has only begun when he met you. Leon, who knew what it meant to truly live when he found out that you were pregnant with his children. You knew that it also hurt Leon to leave at ungodly hours of the night when he was going to be deployed for a mission and to think that his kids would wonder where their daddy is and why he’s always gone. You’re used to Leon’s constant absence but it doesn’t hurt any less each time he has to go. His job is bad for your heart, constantly putting it in a state of worry and fear. It always stung whenever your kids asked if they could go with Leon when he had to leave on an “adventure” because they wanted to spend more time with him. You hated breaking the news to Leon that he’d have to miss out on another one of their school events, having to phone Chris or Patrick to attend in his place; he sounded so pained whenever he asked about the details of the event, his dreams of walking up the stage and being active in his childrens’ schooling playing in his head every time he closed his eyes for a quick nap before being back on his feet and killing monsters. Ultimately, you decided to give the kids a day trip with Leon since their only trip with Leon was when they were still babies. Sighing once more before giving sleep another try, you start to mentally compile all the things needed for tomorrow’s road trip.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

“She’s already got a stain on his shirt and the ice cream hasn’t even melted yet,” Leon says with an amused grin as he tries to wipe the chocolate off of Euphemia’s pink shirt with a wet wipe. You’re preoccupied with watching over the other twin Ollie, who’s trying to call a stray cat and give the kitty a lick of his vanilla ice cream. You look back at Leon, who’s giving his daughter kisses as he got the stain to look a lot less dark than it was earlier.

“Pheme still tends to get ice cream everywhere,” you softly tell him as you offer another set of wipes, to which he declines since the stain isn’t obvious and the wipes could be used for later. Leon smiles when he notices you use the nickname he gave to Euphemia; he’s managed to get you to use this one instead of his other loving nickname for Oliver, “Rolliver Polliver”, derived from when Ollie almost ate a roly poly bug.

All of you finish eating ice cream without getting any more stains or a cat being fed something it shouldn’t be fed and get back to the car, hitting the road once more. Queen, Hall & Oates, Elton John, and The Flamingos have been traded for nursery rhymes and songs to induce sleep in toddlers in order to get them to nap a little bit. Instead of Leon sitting in the passenger seat with you, he decided to sit at the back in between the kids in order to spend some time being near them on the road trip. The twins seemed to have gotten their habit of sleeping with their head leaned back and mouth slightly ajar while softly snoring from Leon, who is also asleep with his hands on their child car seat. Caught in a red light, you quietly observe this tender moment in the front and snap a few pictures of them with your digital camera from 1989 that still surprisingly works well. You giggle at the sight behind you, heart melting at seeing your husband and children look so adorable. His jacket is on your lap when you told him that you were feeling a little chilly, insisting that he’s fine in the back without one. Just earlier, he was making funny faces and holding a serious, one-sided conversation with his little ones, making them laugh and giggle at his every word and now they’re all asleep together. If it means having more moments like this, you’re ready to fight the D.S.O. for keeping your husband occupied on the other side of the world. You guess that it’s also moments like these that Leon continues to fight bioterrorism so that other families can safely enjoy moments like this one without worrying about monsters coming to harm their loved ones. Since the red light is still going and you seem to have been caught in a moderate traffic, you take out your video cam and film the soft scene behind you. “Papa and the kiddos are sleeping together, their snoring isn’t in sync so there’s no moment of silence for me but I don’t mind. I love you all so much and momma is very happy right now.”

After nearly four hours of driving, you four finally get to the cliff overlooking the great wide sea. Parking your car to a safe place, you take out the picnic basket and start preparing your spot. You two chose a spot underneath the shade of a thick tuliptree, a cover from the hot sun. The kids have been asking so much about finally being able to play soccer and ‘helicopter’, a game where Pheme and Ollie hang from Leon’s arms as he spins around (the twins have promised to never, ever play ‘helicopter’ again because they got dizzy but they seem to have ‘forgotten’ it this time) and you explained that they can play an hour after having the picnic and when the sun isn’t so hot anymore. Leon agrees and although the twins don’t seem too happy, they don’t appear to mind it that much since they’re eager to help Leon in unloading the car (he gave them the lighter tasks). As soon as the food is set and most of the bugs have been successfully warded off, the twins gather to sit beside you but before everyone can take a bite of the sandwiches, Leon gets up and takes the digital camera and snaps a couple of pictures, even attempting a selfie at one point. Soon, everyone digs into their sandwiches and stuffs their faces full of the snacks you and Leon prepared together in the morning.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

After what felt like the nth picture Leon has taken of you and the twins, he finally puts the camera down and puts it back in its case but picks up the video cam instead. The twins groan, urging their dad for more playtime even if they’re drenched in sweat with dirty knees.

“5 minutes,” Leon says as he starts recording. “Papa’s back hurts. Why don’t you ask mama?”

“Mama already played! She can’t carry us and she says she’s also tired! She’s reading now!” Pheme exclaims.

He points the camera towards you, reading a pocketbook in the picnic basket while dabbing your forehead and neck with a towel. He laughs and calls you, causing you to look up from the book you were engrossed with and blow him a kiss. He laughs one more time, ‘catching’ the kiss and placing it inside his shorts pocket which gets a giggle out of you.

“My beautiful wife is uhh sitting there, she’s reading.” He narrates as he zooms in. “Very beautiful, the sunlight is hitting her just right. Gosh, she makes me nervous and she doesn’t even know. Love her very much.”

He zooms out and zooms into his children, who decide to take interest in the rocks and starts flinging them towards the cliff with the intention to try to fling it to the ocean, which is quite far from where they are.

“Hey kiddos,” he says as he walks up to them and pats them with his free hand. “What’re you doin’?”

“We’re trying to throw rocks into the ocean!” Ollie and Pheme cheerfully explain, showing their rocks to the lens before flinging it with all their tiny might.

“Ooh, that’s quite far honey,” Leon comments. “Want me to try?”

The twins cheer and he takes that as an opportunity to throw one, the recording being temporarily shaky.

“Woah! You threw it far, papa!” The twins say and clap, determined to throw it as far as he did. He helps the twins throw it, focused on teaching them how to aim and the force they need to exert to fling it a little farther.

After several minutes of flinging rocks and random conversations with your husband and your kids, you call them over to look at the pictures Leon has taken. Everyone gathers around you as you look at each one, oohing and aahing at Leon’s photography skills. Leon focuses the cam on the pictures popping up in the digital camera, chipping in with his thoughts.

“Mommy looks amazing there,” he breathily says. “Divine. What’d you think, Pheme?”

“So pretty!” She beams before giving you a big kiss on the cheek. Ollie giggles and snuggles closer to you, occasionally pointing to the pictures.

Like you guessed, most of the pictures are of you, the kids, or both. Observant like their dad, they picked up on this as well.

“Pa, you’re not in a lot of the photos! It’s always us or mama!”

Leon chuckled, ruffling his kids’ heads. He extends a pointer finger to a shadow in the image before you switch to another one, pointing to the tall shadow once again.

“That’s me,” Leon explains. “I’m the shadow.”

His twins seem confused, falling into silence along with you, who is also intrigued by Leon’s words.

“When you look at these pictures when you’re bigger, I want you all to know that I’m always here. These are proofs that I’m with you because I’m the shadow and I’ll always look out for all three of you,” he explains

The twins say ‘aww’ at the same time and tackle his legs, hugging him tight. While you set the camera down and look at Leon with a small pout and slightly glossy eyes. Leon chuckles softly and places a free hand on your face, his thumb gently stroking your cheek before you join your twins in giving him a big bear hug as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“I love you, Leon.” You softly tell him, warm breath fanning against his neck.

“Me too, sweetheart. I love you more.” He tenderly responds as he hugs you and the kids back.

He’s thankful that this tender moment is caught on camera so he can rewatch it several more times before he goes to bed.

NOTE - I hope you liked this fic anon!!! At first, I wasn't super confident about writing this or how it'll turn out but I think it turned out nicely ngl :) YALL. I finally got my driver's license. I can drive. Do I know how to? I know the theoretical aspects of it but driving itself? Running a motor vehicle? I have yet to learn (it's on June 20-21 and my dad will teach me until I get better)... I also scarfed down a big spicy bowl of ramen coz I didn't have breakfast this morning <3 Also, It's not rlly embarrassing for me to be writing fics while my parents r sitting at the back (I'm at my living room) but making the border??? Looking for pics of Leon??? It's embarassing for me 😭😭 My dad said that my Chris capcorom looks like a Bánh bò and ngl I kinda see it 😭😭 There's a Japanese mall where I live and I'll be going there tomorrow so hopefully yk there's a copy of any RE book or manga (PLEASEPLEASEPLE) Anyways, that's it and thank you for readings my fics!!!!!! I <33333 UUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The wavy divider was made by @kaitsawamura , the images are made by me (sourced from Pinterest).

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nerdycanible1 · 5 days ago

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Song Bird Lin

So- my brother gifted me a drawing pad for Christmas! And guess who gets to make art again!

So what was I supposed to do with the power he's given me? I drew Linny. UwU

I always liked the idea that Lin could actually sing. I like to imagine that when Su was younger, she'd sing her lullabies to get her to sleep. The only people that knew of her talent was her mother, sister and Katara.

Toph enjoyed sitting in her room with her door open while Lin would lay next to Suyin and sing her a lullaby while rubbing her back. Toph couldn't exactly see what was happening but with the soft ombre of Lin's voice and the light snores of her youngest, it always filled her heart with happiness.

On days the Beifong's would have "rest" days, it would be Toph lounging in their backyard while laying in mud. Suyin would be playing with her dollies, jabbering on about a certain scenario regarding her dolls. While Lin? She'd be inside of the house, windows all open, doors wide open and a radio playing in the background.

Lin would use this chance to clean the house. Wiping finger prints off the walls, mud foot prints off the floor, random rocks that Suyin found or Toph found laying about. She'd sing along with the radio while the birds sang their sweet tunes.

Suyin ever the brightest child she was, would sing with Lin, even if she didn't entirely know the words. But even at that, hearing Lin laugh and continue singing while she mopped the floors was the best joy anyone could hope for.

Though once Suyin began to have her rebellious stage, Lin's singing would often lack. Suyin no longer wanted to be put to bed and be sung to like a baby, Toph was always working and it was Lin who took care of the house and her sister.

Lin sang in her school concert when she was 8 or 9 years old. Everyone loves her and it surprised Katara and Aang hearing Lin sing so beautifully, especially for such a young girl.

Lin would no longer turn her radio on, Lin would no longer sing. It wasn't until Katara took Lin and Suyin to the island for a few days that Lin was finally relaxed. With Katara keeping a watch on Suyin and plenty of hands to help with her, Lin was able to finally relax and enjoy her time alone.

Lin would go down to the beach to "practice her sandbending" when in reality she'd sing her heart out while watching Republic City.

Lin covered for a singer in highschool, the lead singer got sick so Lin covered last minute (due to Tenzin's insistence.)

Also I want to believe that the seniors in the precinct wanted to go undercover to try and take down a triad den and Saikhan's big mouth said that Lin was a singer. And bam, they dolled her up and she sang her heart out. Making several triad members fall in love with her.

Also they didn't recognize Lin because Lin was still a fresh face in the precinct owo

And thus ends the headcanons. I hope it's fine, feel free to share your headcanons in dms or comments below!

All art belongs to me, if reposted please credit!

#nerds #lin beifong #art #queer artist #lok #tlok #legend of korra #young lin beifong #lin #nerdycanible #lin beifong headcanons #lin can sing!#new drawing pad

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jedi-luca · 6 months ago

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Avenger Lane Chapter 15: Creature Fear

Summary: You and your wife Quinn move your family outside of New York City to Avenger Lane; a small private suburbia. There you face your toughest obstacle of your marriage. Will your marriage with Quinn be strong enough when a certain redheaded beauty captures your attention?

Parings: Natasha x Reader

Warnings: Reader has a Penis

Previous Chapter

Natasha opened the door with a look of surprise. Someone was holding a bouquet of flowers, a present, and balloons. She couldn’t even see who it was. Until you popped your head through the balloons.

“Y/N?” She beamed laughing.

“Happy birthday Nat.” You smiled widely.

Natasha couldn’t wait for you to even step inside she jumped in your arms. Presents falling to the floor with petals falling around you. You chuckled holding her up as her legs wrapped around you. Stepping inside you shut the door, kicking the presents aside.

“I wasn’t sure you’d make it.” She mumbled against your neck.

“I promised you, and I didn’t want to break another promise with you. I’m not going anywhere unless you want me too of course.”

Natasha kissed you softly letting her fingers run through your hair before pulling away. “I missed you like crazy.”

“I missed you too. You wanna-“

“Yes.” She nodded, kissing you again only for you to break the kiss.

“I was gonna say open your presents, but that sounds amazing.” You chuckled walking over to the sofa, setting her down.

She blushed, nodding as she cleared her throat crossing her legs. You handed her a bouquet of carefully picked out flowers.

“Y/N, these are so beautiful. I love them, thank you.” She bites her lip, blushing a little as she studies the flowers.

You bring the present to the coffee table sitting next to her as she smells her flowers.

“You didn’t have to do all this, I just needed you.” She mumbles against your shoulder.

“It’s your birthday, Natalia, it should be celebrated.” You say softly placing a lock of her hair behind her ear.

“You’re the sweetest.” She sighs, pecking your lips.

“So why don’t you open your first couple gifts of the day.”

“First couple gifts?” She smiles, biting her lip. “Y/N you really-“

“Stopppp come on.” You say as Leho leaps on the table to see what chaos you brought.

She smirked seeing you look nervous as she opens the first gift only to find a large envelope. Natasha furrows her brows at you before opening it. She gasps as she reads the title of legal documents, and the notary of the republic’s stamp.

“You’re…. Divorced… She actually signed them?”

“She didn’t really have a choice.”

“Oh my God. Y/N how? I thought it was going to take months!?”

“Well I finally listened to you spoke to my parents. With their help and Tony’s I counter sued for everything she did to me. The couples therapist Agatha turned in her notes to the judge which also helped immensely. The Fabrays hate a bad image and caved immediately especially when they knew I could squash them like a bug.”

Natasha tackled you in a hug.

“I promised you it would happen. I promised you, Nat.”

“I know you did.” She nodded, wiping her tears as you brought her in a kiss.

“I wanna be with you.” You say softly.

“You’ve had me Y/N.” She cried, wrapping her arms around you snuggling into your side. “How… How are the kids taking this?”

“Finley doesn’t really understand but she loves you so, I know she won’t be too put off. Beth on the other hand is upset. She doesn’t understand. She probably won’t until she’s older, and that’s okay. She refuses to speak to me right now. The moment we sat her down to discuss the divorce she pushed me out, and said she never wants to see me again.”

“Baby.” Natasha cried holding your hand. “Baby she doesn’t mean it.”

“I know.” You sniffled feeling Natasha wipe your tears. “She loves her mom very much. I can't be the one to tarnish that image. When she cools down I’ll talk to her again.”

“Beth loves you Y/N so much. I know she does, you know she does. You’re right she just needs some time divorce is not easy on a 12 year old. Are they home?”

“Beth is at school and I think Quinn is at her sisters with Fin. She said she didn’t want to see me here.”

“So she knows?”

“Ohhhh yeah she knows I’m with you.” You nod.

“Is she mad? Like burn down my house mad?”

“No actually, just like she’s finally let me go. I think her seeing our old friends really helped knock some sense into her as well. Plus as much as I hate to say it Rachel is kind of helping her move on.”

“So she’s more so upset with herself and her actions?”

“That’s what I got from it in court, but I thought maybe it was a ruse. Anyway, enough about my ex wife and open your next present.”

You handed Natasha a wrapped gift. She looked up, raising her brow looking down at the Christmas themed paper and bow. “You wrapped this?”

“Of course! I’m a black belt at gift wrapping.” You grinned.

She giggled while opening the gift only to see a Fisherman’s sweater. “Ohhh I love it.” She says holding it up seeing something fall out of the sweater she frowns grabbing it before Leho can get it.

The scenic view of the East coast of Maine

“I thought since you’re taking a break right now maybe you and I can take a road trip all the way to Maine? Or we can just-“

Natasha tackles you in a hug “I love it.”

“Are you sure? Cause it’s cold and if you’d rather just go somewhere more tropical I can still change it.”

“Nope, I’ve never been upstate. I think that’s a great idea.”

“Alright I guess pack for a week and then get dressed for brunch cause Wanda is currently making you a fabulous brunch for your birthday right about now.”

“Oh my gosh!” Natasha stood up running up the stairs packing for the winter vacation.

You chuckled looking down at Leho “Don’t worry I won’t make you join us in the car ride Yelena is going to stay here and take care of you.” The black cat purred and hopped up on your lap. “Yeah I figured you weren’t the car riding type.”

You stood up making your way up the staircase leaning against Natasha’s doorway when you notice something you thought you lost.

“Is that my hoodie?” You gasped “and my jacket!? I thought I lost them!”

“No, don't look!” Natasha groaned.

“You little thief!” You chuckled.

“They smelled like you.” She smiled, holding them up to her nose.

You brought her in your arms pecking her lips. “I’ll be sure to rotate them so you always have something that smells like me then.” You lifted it to your nose, closing your eyes and smiled. “Now it smells like you.”

“So sweet.” She muttered before kissing you once more. She turned in your arms as she continued her packing.

You moved her hair to the side and left small kisses from her shoulder to her neck.

“Hmm, I missed you.” She sighed.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.” You held her from behind burying your nose in her hair.

“I think I have an idea.” Natasha’s fingers ran through your hair, her body arching into you.

Nat lifted her phone showing you a video that Mike sent her.

“Dude what are you doing?” Mike giggled using his video to see what you were looking at. “Is that Natasha?”

“Maybe.” You purse your lips coyly slightly drunk.

“Why are you looking at her picture? You weirdo.” Santana cackled.

“I miss her.” You shrugged.

“Aww!” Kurt frowns, hugging your head. “Me too!”

“Oh my God! You’re such a simp. This is your boo Natasha. Out here cryin’ in da club.”

You all started cackling before the video came to an end.

“I’m gonna kill him.” You shook your head.

“I thought it was sweet.” She smiled, turning in your arms. You widen your stance so you can be at eye level. “Don’t be embarrassed baby, I'm your woman.”

“My woman, I love the sound of that.” You grin, smooching her lip feeling her hands massage your shoulders.

“Anything else you need to show me or tell me about?” You chuckled.

“No.” She smirked looking away.

“You sure?”

“I may have also seen you guys sing Don’t Stop Believing and some of your friends dm’ed me that they’re happy for us. That’s all. Again! I thought it was sweet.” The redhead beauty smiled, pecking your lips before smacking your ass and making her way to the bathroom.

“Hm.” You grunted.

She began grabbing her toiletries in a bag she looked over seeing you laying down feet off the bed. Your arms wrapped around her pillow, eyes closed for a brief moment while she packs. She smiles looking at you she’s wanted you for so long now, and it’s finally happening.

You mentally went through the checklist again. The cooler is packed with snacks and drinks. You have the snow chains on already extra in the back just in case. Your suitcase is packed, the rest of the presents are in the back, blankets, pillows, some extra wood, alcohol and mixers, champagne, some groceries in an extra cooler, and Tony’s keys to his cabin.

You could hear her walking around quietly as she packs up her suitcase when you felt some weight on your legs.

“Okay! I’m ready!” She sang she lifted up on her knees as you flipped over.

“Hmmm okay baby.” You yawned while stretching.

Natasha straddled you and you let your hand lightly rub her thick thighs. She leaned down kissing you softly inhaling you as she broke the kiss.

“We… don’t have any extra time… do we?”

“We…” you looked at your watch. “Do not.” You sigh.

“But it’s my birthday.” She sticks her bottom lip out with a frown dry humping you. “I can be a little late.”

You groan feeling her lips suck on your sweet spot and rub against your other sweet spot.

“You and I both know we’re not gonna wanna go just one round. Besides, I don't really want our first time as a couple to be a quickie.” You chuckle, slapping her ass. “Come on birthday girl.

She whines getting off of you and you grin standing up taking her bags.

“What about Leho?” She said sadly while picking up her baby.

“Yelena is going to take care of her and the house.” You muttered the last part.

“Oh God okay just let me write out something real quick, and put the flowers in a vase.”

“Alright I’ll put these in the truck.”

Natasha wrote out a quick message asking her sister to water the plants, the new flowers you just gave her, and what times to feed Leho. She even gave her some money for food just in case.

Natasha walked out seeing a cover over your truck bed. “Since when have you had that?”

“Oh it came with it, I just never had a chance to use it.” You chuckled. “Are those your balloons?” You chuckled.

“I just got them, it's bad enough I have to leave my flowers.”

You grinned walking over taking them from her and walking over to Wanda’s. You knocked and she told you both to come in from the Stark bell. You open the door letting her through first hearing all her friends say “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

“Oh my gosh you guys!” Natasha smiled seeing all of her friends.

Wanda ran over bringing her in a big hug. “Ohhh I love you, happy birthday!” She cooed.

“Happy birthday!” Pietro smiled, giving her a hug as well. “Just so you know my gift is me getting up early to help Wanda.” His older sister smacked him and Natasha laughed. “Hey what’s up Y/N.” He smiled, giving you a hug.

Wanda led you both towards the end of the table giving Natasha a tiara, her breakfast plate and a mimosa.

Breakfast went on and then the gifts began.

“This is from me and Buck. Happy birthday Nat we love you.” Steve smiled with Bucky's arm around him.

“Oh wow thank you guys!” Natasha looks down at the brand new Glock and set of bullets.

“That’s the new G29 it’s beautiful.” Steve explains.

“Oh my God.” Vis gasps lowly he hates guns. Wanda takes his hand. Natasha closes the case and thanks Steve and Bucky before you take it and safely set it aside.

“Jeez.” You hear Tony mutter as he drinks his mimosa.

“Happy birthday love.” Laura smiles with Clint grinning behind her.

It was a framed photo of Natasha and you with all the kids at the fair. Along with a little Hawaiian statue.

“Thank you Laura.” Natasha smiled showing you the picture. You smiled looking at her. “It’s sweet, I'll make sure to put it up before we leave.”

“Just make sure to keep the statue with you.” Clint cackled.

“Oh Clint.” Laura smacked him.

“What is this?”

“We got it during our trip to Hawaii. It’s a fertility statue.”

“It fucking works.” Clint raised his brows looking at the two of you.

You and Natasha chuckle a bit.

“I’m serious we were having some trouble with Nate and well that little fucker helped. So when you’re ready just make sure he’s around for the action.”

You chuckled turning red scratching the back of your neck.

“Those Hawaiians, dude they know they’re shit.” Clint punched your arm. “I know you’ve got a couple so be sure to wrap it before you tap it from now on it’s like magic.”

“Clint for the love of God.” Laura whined.

Natasha placed the frame and statue in her purse before the next guest came over. You took her hand rubbing circles on her palm.

“You okay?” You ask near her ear.

“I just need to go to the bathroom right quick.” She nods and pecks your hand.

You look at her slightly worried before looking towards Wanda. “I should-“

“Go.” She nods.

You stand and rush upstairs.

“Damn it Clint I told you not to put that in there.” Laura groaned covering her face.

“What? What’s wrong-“

“Nat, can’t have children.” She said in his ear.

“Fuck.”

You reach the master bath and knock softly. “Baby?”

The door swings open and she pulls you in a kiss.

“Whoa.” You manage to say as she hums in your mouth. “Honey?”

“I need you Y/N.” She husks. “I need you so bad and we don’t have much time.”

“Nat, I think you might not be dealing with this the right way. Just take a breather-“

“Y/N please.” She whines against your lips, her hands on your belt. “Please baby I need you so badly right now. It won’t take much. I know this isn’t what you had in mind for our first time as a couple to be in Wanda’s bathroom, but please! I need you inside of me.”

“Talia, my love please just take a second.”

“Love?” Natasha freezes.

“This wasn’t how I was going to tell you.” You squeezed your eyes shut.

“You love me?” She asks in surprise.

“So much. I’ve been wanting to say those words for a while now.” You chuckle, bringing her against you.

“I’ve longed to hear those words from you.” She whispered.

“I just wanted to wait until it was finally over. Until I had it in writing for you.”

“I know my love.” She whispers, kissing you softly.

“I hope I was worth the wait.”

“You are always worth it. I love you so much.” She smiles, laying her forehead against yours.

You pull her into a hug just as she begins to cry.

“I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me. I felt so sad and then you came up to take care of me and I’ve just never had that before-“ she started to tear up.

“It’s okay you’re allowed to feels things. Clint hit a sore spot.”

“I missed you so much Y/N.” She sniffled as you wiped away her tears.

“I missed you too, baby. I missed all of you. I missed your laugh, your smile, the way your voice gets gravely when you're sleepy or just woke up, your cooking, your kisses. Your beautiful body. The way I feel when I’m inside of you and the noises I bring out of you. I’m so in love with you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you either. Yelena tried making me watch a ton of other shows. Wanda included. I would find myself thinking of you or if you’d call me. Or even text. I was always checking my phone.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out enough.”

“You did better after I told you. We just have to communicate better.”

“We will.” You nod.

“We should go back out there.” She says softly caressing your cheek.

“Okay.” You stand up from your crouched position and help her off the toilet seat. She fixes your hair and takes the lipstick off your face.

“Lovely.” She nods.

“Stop, you're making me blush.”

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You both come back down and no one makes a comment, they just continue on like nothing happened.

“You okay?” Wanda asks in Russian.

Natasha nods happily. “Oni skazali mne, chto lyubyat menya.” (They told me that they love me.)

“Finally!” Wanda sighed in relief.

Natasha rolled her eyes playfully.

You lean over to Tony when you notice everyone giving you the wink. “So I take it, everyone knows my plan for the cabin?”

“Yup.” Tony nods.

“Got it. So who told?”

“Who do you think?”

You scanned the table. “Scott told Louis?”

“Of course he did.” Tony huffed.

“As long as Nat doesn’t hear about it.”

“She won’t, don’t worry. You got the papers?”

“Yup showed Nat before coming over here.”

“Pepper, give you the keys?”

“Yes sir.”

“Alright.” Tony chuckled. “Don’t be nervous. You got this kid.”

You nodded with a grin before looking over at Natasha who looked down at her gift. It was an ant farm that Scott gave her.

“I said grab an Aunty Anne’s gift card because she loves they’re pretzels. Why would she want an ant farm Scott?”

“I don’t know why would she want a gift card to Aunty Anne’s?” He huffed. “Besides, ants are way cooler!”

“It’s okay, this is pretty cool, thank you.” Natasha smiled nodding she’ll just give it to Finley.

“Hey Scott.” You smiled right before nut punching him.

“Oh fuck.” Scott gasped nearly toppling to the floor.

“Y/N?!” Natasha scolded you.

“It’s just this game we play at work. Right Scotty? This game about not telling Louis certain things.”

“Yup.” He smiled through the pain waving Natasha off. Steve and Bucky cringed.

“Kind of what he gets; what a big mouth.” Bucky muttered.

“I fucking told you not to tell Louis.” Hope whispered harshly.

“I know.” He gasped as she helped him over to his chair.

“I’ll get you some ice.” Vis nods standing up.

“Thank you.” Scott groaned.

Natasha glared at you once more and you shrugged it off. “He lost the game. I don't know what to tell ya.”

“That was hilarious.” Clint chuckled while getting another mimosa as Thor fell out of his chair laughing.

“You know you deserved that shit right?.” Val snickered looking at Scott.

“Come on babe get up.” Jane said to Thor who had tears in his eyes from laughter.

“Happy birthday Natasha!” They said together, handing her a tiny gift bag. Thor was still snickering to himself.

“Oh thank you so much!” It was a gift card to Lululemon.

Soon Val and Carol were up.

“I would say happy birthday but I think this one is a little more for my mate Y/N over here.” Val snickered, winking at you and Carol rolled her eyes.

Natasha ripped open the paper and the white box to find a set of sexy lingerie. The redhead opted out of showing everyone and kept it in the box she didn’t even show you instead she thanked them with a hint of blush on her cheeks. Carol leaned down and whispered in her ear. You wondered what it was because her eyes widened and Carol giggled before taking Val’s hand and taking their seats.

“You alright?” You asked.

“Hmhm.” She nodded, taking a gulp of her drink.

“For Pepper and Tony’s gift they’re letting us stay in their Cabin.”

“Oh thank you.” Natasha said towards Pepper and Tony.

“Of course but we also got you this.” Pepper handed Natasha a bottle of wine. “It’s one of my all time favorites. I think you’ll like it.”

“It also gets her going if you know what I mean.” Tony mutters lowly toward you.

You chuckled while taking a sip of your drink.

Soon it’s nearly 2 pm and now you’re way off schedule.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Wanda says softly as you help her clean up.

“Do not apologize Wands. It’s okay, seriously we can make a pit stop at a hotel. It's not that bad plus I wanted us to take our time getting up to Maine.”

“Still you had the whole day planned.” She said sadly.

“The plan can still go on tomorrow.” You smile.

“Okay I am ready.” Natasha smiled lazily, still a bit buzzed from all the mimosas.

“Go on. I’ve got it from here.”

You grab the presents and Natasha insists on giving the ant farm to Finley so you leave it on the front door with a note and leave the framed photo of the fair in Nat’s home before she says farewell to Yelena.

“Happy birthday Cestra.” She smiles at her drunk sister then at you before handing her a little gift.

“What’s this?” Natasha frowns seeing a check.

“I wanna help pay you back for the clock tower.”

“Lena-“

“No buts plus I figured maybe it’ll help bring our parents back from Russian? I know you had to use that money to send me to school and bring me here and fix the tower so… yeah.”

“Aww.” Natasha cried, bringing Yelena in a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now go.” Yelena wipes her eyes smiling at you. “Take care of my sister. She’s precious cargo.”

“With my life.” You smile helping Natasha walk to the truck. “You wanna lay down in the back? I can make a bed.”

“Not unless you’re gonna lay down with me.” Natasha mumbles hopping in the truck.

You chuckle before shutting the door and getting in the driver's seat. You both wave to Yelena before driving away.

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When you’re finally out of New York Natasha notices how beautiful the mountains look.

“It’s so beautiful.”

“It is really cold, but smell the air.” You slow down a bit and roll down the window.

She breathes the air in smiling as she closes her eyes. “Wow, it smells so good!” .

You slow down pulling over seeing a maple candy stand.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a maple candy stand. I’m gonna get you some wanna stay in the truck?”

“No!” She hops out and watches you buy some candy as she picks up a red leaf and breathes in the mountain air.

Along the road she asks if you can stop at certain places and of course you oblige by getting her little trinkets and taking random photos.

You both eat snacks from the cooler and sing along to every song she wants to hear occasionally listening to a podcast. You finally stop when it gets too dark somewhere in Vermont. You stop by a diner.

“This place is so cute.” Natasha smiles seeing how retro everything looks.

“Well hello sweethearts my name is Eve what can I getcha?” An older woman walks up with a big smile.

“We will take the lovers lane.” Natasha orders off the menu.

“Okay! I haven’t seen yall out here before where ya from?”

“New York, it’s her birthday we figured we make a road trip out of it and go up state.”

“Oh well that’s fun, welcome to town! I’ll tell ya what I’ll bring you a slice of pie on the house!”

“Thank you Eve!” Natasha smiled.

You dug into your pockets looking for change.

“What are you doing?” Natasha smirked.

“I’m looking for quarters.” You grinned nodding towards the mini jukebox.

The redhead grabbed her purse taking out .50cents. “Here.”

“You pick it’s the fun part.” You grinned, pushing her hand away.

Natasha smiled and put the change in before choosing an oldie.

“Great choice.” You grinned hearing the doo-wop in the beginning.

“My love must be a kind of blind love. I can’t see anyone but you.” She smiled lovingly at you as you blushed.

‘(Sha bop sha bop)

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“Dance with me?”

‘(Sha bop sha bop)

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“Here?”

‘(Sha bop sha bop)’

“Right here.” You stand up offering your hand which she happily accepts.

‘Are the stars out tonight (sha bop sha bop)’

You bring her close swaying in the diner.

‘I don't know if it's cloudy or bright (sha bop sha bop)

I only have eyes for you dear’

“I love you.” Natasha says softly caressing your cheek.

(Sha bop sha bop)

“I love you too.” You say looking down into her eyes.

‘The moon may be high

(Sha bop sha bop)’

There’s only one other patron in the diner and they can’t help but smile seeing the two of you dancing.

‘But I can't see (sha bop sha bop) a thing in the sky

I only have eyes for you’

“Eve, put their dinner on my tab.” The patron smiled.

‘I don't know if we're in a garden

Or on a crowded avenue

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“They do look so in love don’t they?” Eve smiled watching you and Natasha sway to the music.

‘You are here

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“I don’t ever wanna stop this train with you.” She whispers.

‘And so am I

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“I don’t ever plan on stoppin’.” You lean down pecking her lips gently.

‘Maybe millions of people (sha bop sha bop) go by

But they all disappear from view

And I only have eyes for you’

You both take your seats just as the food came out.

“This looks amazing.” You grin.

“Here baby you pick the next song while we eat.” Natasha hands you a couple quarters.

“Welllllllll…You know you make me wanna shout! Kick my heels up and shout!”

“So good.” You both said as you ate your burgers. “Might have to come back just for this.”

“I know!” She chuckled.

You both ate and laughed as you spoke about your days apart.

“What made you wanna do this?” She asked, drinking her milk shake.

“Well we were hungry-“

“I meant this trip. Smartass.” Natasha smirked.

“I just felt like we’ve been apart for a long time and wanted to make up for it.” You explain with a light shrug.

Just as Eve promised, a slice of Pie arrived and you both somehow managed to eat every piece of it.

“Thank you so much Eve, this dinner was so good we might just have to make the trek back out just for your food.” Natasha smiled.

“Please do!” Eve laughed.

“Where do I pay Ms. Eve.”

“Actually the gentleman that was in here paid for your meal. He just said he was heartwarmed to see how in love you both are. Made him remember his wife.”

“Oh well now I feel terrible for not being able to thank him.” You pout.

“Don’t be he just wanted to do something nice for you both.”

“Well please tell him we said thank you.” Natasha smiled warmly.

“Of course!” Eve smiled picking up the plates that you stacked at the end of the table.

You left a hefty tip before getting back in the truck and heading towards the hotel.

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“Oh no I’m so sorry I thought we had two beds when we spoke on the phone but it turns out that room is being remodeled. We only have one room left with one king bed.” The front desk girl frowned.

“Oh just the one huh?” You clear your throat, shuffling your feet. You knew if you took that room keeping your hands to yourself would seem difficult.

“You’re absolutely sure there’s only one left.” You ask once more.

The front desk girl sighed and said. “If you don’t want the room-“

“We’ll take it.” Natasha huffed, rolling her eyes at you. “Y/N, if you don’t want to share a bed with me-“

“I’m sorry it’s not that at all, not even a little bit you know that.” You bite your lip seeing her nod at you. Natasha took the key. “It’s just- I don’t want you to think just cause I did all this means you have to put out. That’s all. I just want you to be comfortable.”

Natasha smiles softly and pecks your lips. “You’re sweet, and I’m making you start to overthink things because of how I’ve been acting and I’m sorry.”

“Nat, no apologizing. This is new for us… I’ve never been with another woman besides Quinn, and you’ve never been with someone like me. We just need to get in the groove again… I’m gonna park the truck you go on ahead and I’ll bring up our things.”

She nodded before walking off. Natasha kept telling herself to stop over thinking as well you both fell for one another as friends. The only things that’s changed is now there’s nothing holding you both back. You’re both free to be together.

You tiredly made your way to the room. Walking in only to hear the shower running. You quickly change when you hear the water stop. She walks out right as you switch shirts.

Natasha gulped, gripping the door handle.

“Hey.” You smile trying not to blush at the fact that she’s only in a towel.

“Hi.” She smiles a tint of blush across her dewy cheeks. “I forgot you were bringing up the suitcases and got ahead of myself. Can I borrow something to sleep in?”

“I got you.” You grinned getting off the bed. You rummaged through your suitcase finding an extra set of boxers and an old football t-shirt. You walked them over handing them to her.

“Thanks.” She whispers, looking at you.

“Oh! Sorry.” You chuckled turning around.

She smiled as you turned towards the wall. That’s not why she was staring. She was staring because all she had on was a towel and all she wanted to do was drop it. Just to have you worship her body, but she can tell you’re exhausted. Mentally and physically you just need to rest. Natasha knows damn well if she ignites that fire in you it won’t be put out until it’s time for you both to leave the hotel. She shook her thoughts before dropping the towel not missing the way it made you squirm.

She inhaled the fresh scent of your boxers and t-shirt.

“Don’t worry I just washed them before we left.” You chuckled, rubbing your neck. Desperately trying not to look at her through the small reflection on the lamp.

“I’d hope so.” She teased you. “You can turn around now.” She let the shirt fall on her just as you turned around. You gulped seeing the bottom of her breasts and the small freckle on her rib cage.

She climbs into bed laying next to you when she turns on her side. “Thank you for today. Best birthday ever.” She smiled dreamily before leaning over kissing your cheek softly.

“Yeah?” You goofily grin before yawning. You could already feel your exhaustion take over your body as your girl played with your hair.

“Hmhm, you got your divorce, gave me breakfast with all my friends at Wanda’s. You told me you love me. Then we spent the day driving through the mountains. It’s been amazing.” She giggled. “I’ve never had anyone do anything like this for me before, thank you Detka.”

“I didn’t even get to give you the rest of your presents.” You said sleepily trying to sit up only for her to stop you.

“You can give them to me when we’re at the cabin.”

“You sure?” You asked halfway asleep.

“Yes.” She smiles. “Don’t worry about them right now. Everything is perfect today was perfect. You’re perfect.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. I love you Talia.” You closed your eyes snuggling into your pillow feeling the way her nails grazed your skin and hair as you drifted off to sleep.

“I love you too baby.”

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You wake to the sound of your phone alarm clicking on. The soft strums of Creature Fear by Bon Iver in the air. You hum out feeling warmth against your chest and feeling the sun shine on your face. Slightly upset that you forgot to close the curtain, but the view of the mountains is just too beautiful to stay cranky. You start to realize you’re spooning Natasha and your cock is rock hard as it always is first thing in the morning. Your cock was throbbing feeling the heat from Natasha’s body.

You slowly lift your head looking down at your entwined legs. You briefly wonder how and when this happened throughout the night. Then you wonder if you can untangle yourself without waking her so you can shower. You look down at your arms. One is under her and the pillow with half her hand in yours and the other arm was wrapped around her with her arm laid over yours and fingers threaded through yours. You tangled yourselves throughout the night.

Her head turned slowly, her eyes wide open. She must have been awake for some time. It’s silent and you’re just admiring her underneath the morning sun. She was breathtaking. You felt like you forgot how to breathe just by looking into her eyes. Natasha was the first to wiggle her fingers bringing your attention to your hands. You stretched your fingers locking them in with hers before looking back into her emerald eyes. She looked down at your covered cock poking her right where she wanted it. You felt the air leave your lungs when she pushed her ass against your throbbing cock.

The moment her hooded eyes looked from your hardened member to you. Almost in an instant you forgot about everything and all you saw and all you wanted was her. Like a silent agreement you both threw caution to the wind. Letting your lips meet in a passionate kiss. Breathing one another in deeply before your hands let go of hers. You needed to feel her everywhere. You cupped her face inhaling her before letting one hand roam down her back towards her ass and the other threaded through her soft auburn hair.

She moaned, feeling you squeeze her ass. Her hands were hooked under your arms. Fingernails grazing your back. You stopped for a second letting her take off your shirt. You moaned, feeling her lips against your chest. Kissing somehow tenderly and with haste. You briefly stop her so you can take her shirt off her immaculate body.

“What?” she giggled seeing your jaw slack.

“You’re so incredibly beautiful, but you know I know you’re so much more than that… right?”

She smiled softly, caressing your cheek. “I know.” She pushed you back getting off the bed before turning towards you. You moved to the edge letting your feet hit the cold carpet of the hotel. You hook your arms around her waist looking up at her as your fingers toe the edge of waistline. The Russian woman bit her lip nodding as you pushed the boxer shorts down.

You lay your head against her abdomen, softly kissing her as you inhale her sweet scent. Before your lips could kiss any further down she stopped you.

“Your turn.” She smirked her nails scraping against your shoulders.

You were brought back to your throbbing dick you grimaced standing up.

“You’ve been hard for over an hour now. I’m assuming you’re in pain?” Her brow kinked.

“Just sensitive.” You hissed, letting it flop out of the hole of your boxers. “You’ve been up for an hour now?”

She licked her lips staring at your long thick bulging cock. She sat you down kissing you gently before getting on her knees. “Yes and you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this.”

“You don’t have-“ you cleared your throat.

“I want to… don’t you want my mouth?” She husked; hand now holding your meat.

“God yes.” You whined caressing her jaw.

She smirked before focusing on your shaft. She let her lips kiss the head before letting her tongue swirl around causing you to twitch and shudder. You let one hand hold her hair, just as she brought all of you in her mouth, her tongue and mouth sucking you like it’s the last time she’ll have you. Her hands leave your cock and lay against your flexing abs; her nails grazing down. “Oh my G-“ you inhale.

“Fuck.” You sighed watching her bobb, her head eyes fixed on yours. “Deeper.” You whispered, you could feel her tonsils on your cock as she obeyed. Her hands on your thighs before letting you go with a pop, and moving down to your balls.

“Natasha.” You husked feeling your toes curl. You gently stopped her before pulling her on your lap quickly switching positions to lay her down. You watched as she lifted her body up by her elbows as you got on your knees gently spreading her legs apart. You smirked before letting your tongue dive into her.

“Ohhh” she whimpered and moaned.

“Fuck me, you’re drenched.” You let two of your fingers dip in before showing her the wetness. “So sexy.” You whispered before putting her wetness on your cock and pumping the throbbing shaft. As you pumped you dove back in moaning at her taste. “You taste so good, Talia.”

“Shit Y/N I’m already so close.” She whined.

You quickened your tongue's pace and let go of your throbbing member to let a couple digits enter her. Her hips bucked as you moved your fingers. You listened to her as if breaking open a safe. Listening for any indication of her spot.

A loud guttural moan came when you did. You smirked going faster as her moans grew louder and her body unable to lay still. She gripped your hand and head before humping into your face, shaking as she came undone.

You stood wiping your mouth before sucking on your fingers. She closed her thighs at the sight needing some friction.

She sat up and gasped at the soaked edge of the bed. You smiled before lifting her up onto you kissing her with want.

“Hmm.” She moaned in the kiss before opening her eyes looking down at you. She reached below her, taking you in her hand guiding you to the place you both have been aching for.

“Oh my God.” You sighed laying your forehead against hers. Feeling the tip of your member enter her.

You both moaned as she slid down your shaft.

“Fuck.” You felt your grip loosen before lifting her back up moaning at the movement. You froze seeing her grimace.

“What’s wrong, should I stop?” You asked, worried you hurt her.

She kissed your worries away wiping your brow lines

“You’re just… really big… I’m just adjusting.” She blushed. You pulled out causing her to whimper.

“Standing up needs some work. Okay.” You make a note of it as you gently lay her down before following suit. She spread her legs for you to lay between. She moaned at the touch of your tongue against her lips.

“I need you inside me baby.” She husked in your ear, breaking the kiss.

You both looked down as you took your cock rubbing it between her folds. Gathering all the wetness before slowly entering her.

“Sooooo tight.” You whispered, feeling her velvet walls clamping down around you. You stayed still letting her adjust to your girth and length and enjoying the way her warmth feels. “Gah damn I will never get tired of you baby!” You smiled leaning down to kiss her.

“I’m gonna have to remember pelvic floor exercises.” She giggled as she brushed your hair back.

“I’m madly in love with you.” You smiled Natasha brought you down kissing you as she whimpered as her hips bucked into you giving you the go ahead. You slowly pumped in and out.

“Oh my God!” She moaned out as your lips left hers to nibble on her sweet spot.

“That’s it baby you’re doing so well.” You groaned out as you continued your rhythm as she whimpered beneath you. Your eyes fluttered closed as you paused your motions pushing in deeper.

“Oooh that feels so good Y/N.” Natasha wiggling her pelvis against you.

“It’s been so long since I’ve been this deep inside of you like this.” You groaned, placing a hand on the headboard driving your pace faster.

“I know baby I don't even think I can hold on for much longer.” She gasps, clawing at your back bringing you down against her. “God I love you so much!”

You’re both moaning as you move together. Your teeth clashing in your kisses. You’re both breathing one another in as you cum around one another.

“Fuck baby.” She gasps. “Oh daddddy.”

“Oh Natasha! Fuuuck!” You groan, spilling your seed deep inside of her. “Ohhh yeah look at that baby.” You say lathering your thick honey along her glistening pussy.

You both pant when the phone rings it’s time to check out and your alarm with Bon Iver starts over again after its snooze.

“How long do we have?” She asks, kissing your back.

“A couple hours.”

“Then come back to me.” She smirks.

You grin, rubbing her arm around your chest that begins to make its way to your meat.

“Hmm.” You groan feeling her pumping you as she nibbles your ear. “The faster we’re out of here the faster I can have you in that cabin, and really take my time with you.”

“How long is the drive?” She asks, kissing your shoulders.

“About 4 more hours.” You cringed, seeing her look at you with her brows furrowed.

“Yeah no you’re making love to me one more time. Really Y/N 4 hours?!”

“I’m sorry.” You say feeling her pull you to the shower. You shove your underwear down before stepping in.

“Multitasking at its finest baby.” She smirked, kissing you as the warm water fell over you.

“Hmm, I hope you know the moment we step foot in that cabin and I’ve got all our shit inside-“

“What? The pussy monster is coming out?”

“Who?” You furrowed your brows and she giggled kissing you under the water.

“Well I hope the pussy monster does come out.” She mutters against your lips, feeling you smirk and your cock stand at attention.

You lift her up and against the wall and you slide in.

“Who says the pussy monster isn’t here right now?” You say in a voice so gravely and low that makes her drip around your thick cock. You choke her as you begin to roughly hump inside of her sliding her ups down against the cold tile wall.

“Ohhhh fuckkkkk!” She moans, hooking her hands behind your neck.

“That’s it baby girl.” You say.

“Fuuuuuckkk!” She whines feeling you hit her center.

“You like that, my naughty girl?”

“So much!” She gasps.

“You love it when the pussy monster comes out.”

“So much daddy so much.”

“You’re my cum slut aren’t you? You like it when I cum deep inside of you.” You roughly grab her jaw.

“Oh my gosh yesss so much I love the way it feels, and the way you lather it all over my pussy when I cum on your cock daddy.”

“Me too baby.”

“I also love it when you cum on my tongue you taste so good.”

“Fuck.” You groan, feeling yourself cuming.

“Oh my gosh baby you feel so good inside me.” She cries as pivot your hips letting her walls clamp around you and juicing your cock.

“Shit Talia.” You both look down seeing you pull out and your creams landing on your cock on for you to lather it on her pussy and push inside of her once more. “Give me another baby girl. I’m still so hard for you.” You say lowly near her ear.

“Fuck.” She whimpers and nods before tapping you to let her down. You gently set her down and watch her spin around against the tile. You take hold of her hips and begin watching your cock disappear over and over again.

“Your ass is so fucking amazing. This pussy is velvet baby don’t get me wrong but when can this monster cock try that little ass hole?” You husk near her ear.

“When you let me try your little ass hole.” She smirks looking back at you before handing you the soap bar and a scrub.

“Touché.” You stroke inside of her as you sud her body up. It feels even better when you bring your bodies together. “Fuck I’m close!” You growl near her ear.

“Cum then daddy.” She bites your lip and your fucking her so hard and fast your skin is slapping against one another echoing in the shower. You wrap your arms around her, and lift her up causing her to yelp as you cum inside of her. “Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!” You groan emptying your load before setting her back down. You pull out and push back in letting her cum around you and gently letting her ride out her orgasm.

“Shit.” You pant feeling your cock slip out and watching your creams go down the drain.

She smiles, hooking her arm around you, kissing you languishly.

“How’d we get in here?” You asked, looking around causing her to giggle and kiss you once more.

“Shut up and wash my hair.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you. Yesterday, what did Carol whisper in your ear?”

Natasha turned smirking up at you as you washed her hair.

“Well first she said she and Val came over one day and heard us going at it. She also mentioned that I need to really work my hips.”

“They saw us?”

“Hmhm.”

“I really need to learn how to close the fucking blinds.”

A/N: still cutting up chapters in parts because of how long they are.

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