#happy pride amirite please enjoy

[ragnarokhound]

JayTim Week 2024: Day 7 - Drop | Seal | Wave

wearing a raincoat that has four sleeves on Ao3

Rated: T

Tags: Alternate Universe - Selkies, Selkie Tim Drake, Romance, Humor, Injury Recovery, Light Angst, Jealousy, Language Barrier, Falling In Love

Word Count: 4,658

Summary:

“You picked up a selkie? Oh my god. Only you, Jaybird.” --- Or: Jason and his three-man crew find an injured seal while on a research expedition over open waters. Only it's not just any seal. His name is Tim.

[secretadventuresociety]

Episode 29 Recap

Hi, hey, hello SASholes! I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and your best friend. Welcome to Episode 29: Mother, She Wrote.

Treehouse of Horror

We catch back up with the Nobodies as Kess exits her greenhouse, letting Detective Brienne collect her thoughts after the trio’s separate testimonies. The first thing she sees is Pearce anxiously pacing with Kü trailing behind, mimicking his every step. Cutting off their questioning glances, Kess tells them to grab their coats and leads them to a treehouse in the backyard of the manor. Now, if you’re picturing something simple, made out of wood, maybe even for children-- you must be a new listener! Hi, and welcome to Mardosta’s Thieving Veterans’ (or, more simply, MTV) Cribs: Kess Edition. This ‘treehouse’ is an extravagant (albeit rundown) tower, secluded from the rest of the house. Kü immediately takes off to scramble to the highest point, and his companions climb after him-- winding up in a circular level with a small fireplace; because lest we forget-- Mardosta is fucking COLD.

Kü casts a magical bonfire into the fireplace, fixing his gaze on the blaze (come for the recaps, stay for the mad rhymes, amirite?) as Kess makes a perimeter check to ensure they were not followed, nor being listened to. Once she is satisfied, she turns her attention to the group, curious about how their interviews went. Pearce tells her he had been relatively candid-- only leaving out the part where her parents are criminals, which Kess is thankful for. Kü remains silent, and Kess worriedly attempts to get his attention. Kü answers her while still staring at the flames-- asking if someone will throw a log in so that he can stop ‘concentrating’ on the spell. As soon as the requested wood catches, Kü drops his spell, and relaxes just enough to tell Kess that it must have gone well because Mother told him Brienne didn’t suspect a thing. 

Even Pearce’s outraged cries regarding the fact that Kü outed the gunslinger as the most violent man he’s ever met (come on, Pearce, the boy has met all of THREE men in his short life) go quiet in this aftermath. The group can’t fathom why she would say such a thing if they hadn’t done anything to Xarus. Kess asks if they can talk to Mother-- but responding to Kü’s panicked face, she recorrects and implores him to try to talk to her. Kü worries she may not answer, but calls out a tentative “Mom?” regardless. Moments pass before Kü’s mind echoes with a full-bodied voice asking what he wants. The transition from Mother’s whispered tones to this powerful resonance does not escape our kobold, and it shakes him just as badly as if he had stepped into the emerald-drenched quarters of a mighty wizard, but Kü presses on.

“You’re Better Than I Am.”

With difficulty, Kü manages to inquire if Mother had anything to do with the death of Xarus. When she goes momentarily silent, Kü continues nervously on, reassuring her he won’t be mad, no matter her answer. Mother’s response drips with disbelief. She thought he had been with her that night, but he only remembers sleeping off his ass-kicking. Mother mutters a pleased ‘Interesting.” and talks down to Kü; telling him that since she is growing in strength she needs time to stretch her legs-- and as such-- she did indeed murder the loathesome dickbag. With an air of gloating, Mother croons that as Kü gains power, so does she. Now. You know I love for you all to read my recaps. However, I need you to go to the SAS Youtube (link at the end of my ramblings) and scrub to 45:30. You can literally watch Kü’s mind backfiring as pieces of this puzzle refuse to line up. He can’t understand why Mother killed something (BARELY someone) that they didn’t even eat, and you know, he’s not wrong. It’s wasteful.

Mother can only say that the slaughter sustained her in ways he couldn’t even imagine, and her enthusiastic lilt grows angry and gritty as she scolds Kü. She tells him he hadn’t complained when she used her talents to protect him in the fighting pit. The kobold physically recoils-- immediately ducking his head and begging her forgiveness for being ungrateful. He thanks her for taking care of him, and she spits a venom-laced acknowledgement before taking her leave from the conversation. Kü looks up at his friends, afraid to divulge what he’s learned. Pearce pinkie promises him he won’t be angry-- and once Kü reveals Mother DID in fact murder Xarus (possibly to consume his power?)-- the gunslinger points his weapon into the air and fires it, dust and rubble raining down on him while he screams in irritation, “I’m so happy you were honest with me!” and subsequently mumbles about their imminent doom. 

I need to give a trigger/content/hard-hitting roleplay warning before this paragraph. If mental and physical abuse is something you’re uncomfortable reading about, please feel free to skip to the next heading. Cool? All right. Pearce and Kess begin to question Kü about Mother, and he gets increasingly more uncomfortable after each question. Has Mother ever fought with him? Hurt him? How does he feel when Mother gets upset? Kü goes mostly silent, replying with no’s where appropriate and ending on his view that his feelings don’t matter-- and that he’s never considered himself his own person. Kess reminds him of things that separate him from Mother; his love of shiny things, his fashion choices, and his friendship with them. As the kobold reaches up to wipe a tear away, Mother’s skull shifts ever so slightly to display a sizable, healed scar on his nose. Kess gets down on his level and tells him she believes him to be Good (™, ™, ™), and Mother has nothing to do with that. Pearce even brings the kobold into a hug and whispers the same sentiment into his ear. Kü’s confidence is bolstered, but tampered down by the fear of Mother overhearing and punishing him.

Kü, Interrupted

Pearce, having calmed down, admits to Kü that he’s not angry about what Mother did, but instead HOW she went about it. Her carelessness (I mean, what did we expect from a disembodied voice wreaking havoc in our terrible little angel’s mind) has put them in a precarious position. The gunslinger does, however, chime in with Kess to console Kü that none of it is his fault. Dear Reader, once Kü started in with, “If I had just stayed on the island none of this would have happened.”, I was absolutely hyperventilating from sobbing so hard. I could barely hear between my wheezing cries, but the new SAS captions made sure I knew that mention of the island caused Kü to realize Mother’s body is still there-- and he shuddered to think what might happen if it was destroyed. At this point, my eyes were swollen and my nose was running, yet I made out the abject fear rolling off of Kü when Kess suggested maybe it wasn’t his actual mom he’s been talking to, and offered to help him take off the skull to be sure.

I held my breath (or was my throat just closing up from emotion?) as I waited for Kü to answer. He ducked his head and shook it in refusal, having been pushed too far. So, the group did the only thing they could think of. Redirected the thoughts of the kobold to temptation of-- you guessed it-- meat. They had all slept past breakfast, and in all the commotion, had not realized the grinding emptiness of their guts. Kess promises the party fish, so they climb down from the ‘treehouse’ and make their way inside. As they enter, however, they are waylaid by an unfamiliar figure on the ground floor of the house. Well, unfamiliar to all but Kess. She brightens and calls out to him. It’s Vendreth, resplendent in his enchanted wheelchair. They catch up for a moment, Kess makes introductions, then the baron confesses he’s making a house call to talk to her mother.

Kess jumps at the chance to escort him to her parents’ floor-- he glides along in his chair as Kü chatters about fish while ascending the stairs, but before they can take Vendreth any further, Norse comes from around the corner on the second floor and intercepts them. Norse steals him away as he calls for some tea, and maybe a light snack of fish. Seems Kü rubbed off on him. Our heroes slink away; Kess wishing to be in the room where… well, whatever is happening. I tried, Lin. I tried. Anyway, Pearce encourages her to ‘go be a Shadowmore’ and he and Kü will try their hand at waitstaffing. So, Kess races to catch up with the pair of Adulty Adults (™, ™, ™), only to be turned away. Her mother tells her she needn’t worry herself with the discussion, and tells her to rejoin her friends.

Li’l Butler

Surprisingly, Pearce leads Kü without incident around the maze of a mansion to the kitchen, wherein the gunslinger immediately begins rifling through the cabinets. He finds two crystal chalices, and prides himself on his excellent glassware taste. Kü, feeling left out, climbs his way to one of the top shelves and tosses a claw out to grip a similar cup-- almost falling and bringing fragile glass down on top of him. However, he smoothly recovers, climbing down just in time to see Kess leading Pearce in making a pot of tea. Our gruff friend throws a tea towel over his arm and places the chalices and teapot on a tray; hellbent on playing butler for their important visitor. The trio walks carefully back up to the room Norse and Vendreth have claimed. Pearce hands the baron one of the fancy glasses and begins to pour the boiling water into it. Everything is going well, Pearce is making a stunning impression-- and then the chalice shatters from the unyielding temperature of the tea. The room goes silent as Pearce screams an expletive, apologizes, and bows himself out of the room. 

Kess is unfazed; using this opportunity as an excuse to escape the house. She once again orders the boys to grab their overcoats and proudly announces they’re going to the library of Mardosta. On the way there, the party stops by a food stand and procures buckets of fish sticks. Yes, you read that right. Fish sticks, the way Mother used to bake. Kü goes somewhat silent, enjoying his long-awaited meal, and Kess uses his distraction to divulge to Pearce what it is they’re going to be looking for. She hopes that there will be some sort of clue to not only Mother’s identity, but also that of Ashe. The changeling notices as they walk that people seem to be recognizing Kü from his epic showdown in the Underfrost. She smiles and keeps it to herself as she is pulled from her reverie by Pearce voicing a need for ammo. She agrees to take him to the Night Market once they finish researching. Kü, coming up for air from his bucket of grease, feels that good good food coma coming on. Pearce tells the kobold they are basically going to ‘The Napping Place’.

Entering the gargantuan (FIVE floors, guys. Who has that many books?!) marble building, Kü seeks out a warm cubby near a fireplace to curl up and sleep off those yummy processed seafood spears. Pearce and Kess split off, one headed to search for fallen gods and the other to hone in on beings that are known for their close relation to shadows. The gunslinger finds three novels of note; skimming them and cramming them under his arm to have Kess read into further. However, our Druid has much more luck. A book dedicated to ‘ancient evils’ catches her eye, and as she flips through it, her gaze lands on an illustration of snaking shadows squeezing a humanoid as they appear to howl in pain. Reading the section, she learns about ‘The Shadowmother’, also known as Skugamor-- a being of unknown origin who has the power to contort and control shadows. Her focus dims after this section, brain buzzing with terror, and so her search into Ashe is less satisfying. However, she does hit on an interesting piece as she focuses on fire itself-- learning that there are beings (Titans and Quasigods) who are made of the remnants of slain victims of gods or dead gods themselves. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!

Pearce’s Parable

Pearce and Kess find each other and share their pertinent findings. Kess decides to check out the three books Pearce brought to her, but steals a second pass at the tome with the information on Mother. She soundlessly rips the informational page from its binding and slips it into her bag. I mean-- I knew her family was made up of criminals but…. DEFACING A BOOK, KESS? What kind of MONSTER are you?! So, Book-Ruiner Shadowmore heads to the librarian to get at least SOME knowledge legally, and at the same time, Pearce comes across Kü still sleeping soundly. The gunslinger attempts to scoop up the kobold without waking him, but as soon as Kü is in Pearce’s arms-- he startles. Pearce assures him everything is okay, they found what they needed and are about to leave. Kü, without missing a beat, brings a small hand up to Pearce’s cheek and asks the gunslinger to tell him a story. Remember how I told you to WATCH that sad moment? Well here’s a palate cleanser! Go to 2:39:39 and hear the entirety of ‘The Hungry, Hungry Kobold’. 

The fairytale is good enough that it lulls Kü back into sleep, and Daddy Pearce carries him outside and waits for Kess. When she leaves the library, they fall into step together and make their way to the Night Market. It is an impressive, overpowering bazaar-- stalls snuggled up to each other with a glass roof overhead, the calls of merchants hyping up their wares ringing out, and the faint smell of animal feed permeating the air. Despite its sprawling floor plan, it doesn’t take long for Pearce to sniff out the gun show. The proprietors he finds do not have anything that will work for Iris, and so the gunslinger requests the components to make the ammo himself. As the shopkeeper mills around to fulfill his request, Pearce notices that all of the guns being sold in this part of the market are branded with the curlique GG insignia of his father’s weaponry business. He pays the shopkeep extra to give him the name of the supplier of her guns-- and she warily imparts that a contact in Nevyra keeps them stocked. This is, apparently, where Pearce’s deadbeat dad hails from. Can we REALLY tackle mommy AND daddy issues in one episode?!

As the group leaves the market, Kess wakes Kü up to have a midnight snack of… more fish sticks. Between bites, all three discuss their wild dreams at sea, and how they mostly revolved around people they care about dying, aside from Pearce-- who was completely alone. As Kü admits that he dreamed of killing both of his companions while Mother cheered him on, Kess has a brain blast. She turns and makes a beeline straight back to the Night Market-- seeking out Greg’s Wonderful Magic. There, a charming southern gentleman asks how he can help, and Kess requests a Speak With Dead spell scroll. The scroll is there, however after some debate, the Druid realizes she is unable to cast it. Thus her plan of speaking with Mother’s skull is momentarily foiled, and so the three of them return to the manor to close out the longest day of their collective lives.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

TL;DR

Listen, I’m curious to see what would happen if they tried to talk to Kü’s helmet-- but I can only handle so much trauma in one episode! Please let me BREATHE!

Apparently you shouldn’t pour boiling water into glass. Thank you for this lesson, DM.

If you are a victim of abuse, know that it is not your fault and you are not alone. And thank you to the SAS crew for telling this important story. https://www.crisistextline.org/

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pearce be with you and catch the next session over at twitch.tv/lochness on August 25th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! If you’d like to watch THIS episode, follow the link below:

Secret Adventure Society | Session 29: Mother, She Wrote | CW: familial trauma and mental abuse

[fischotterkunst]

Fischy’s Fave Feel-Good Films

hey guys, i’m willing to bet a lot of us are in the same boat here where we’re watched every Ghibli and Disney movie we can get our hands on and by now we’re running out of ideas on what feel-good films to watch, and all the buzzfeed lists are basically the same 10-20 movies, amirite? so i compiled a list of some of my favorite feel-good films to share - maybe you haven’t heard of them, or maybe they’re old favorites you might not have seen in a while. either way, please enjoy! i’ll add to this list as i think of more!

Romances (some with a bit of angst but all with a happy ending): 

Practical Magic - Two sisters, both witches, accidentally murder one of the sisters’ abusive boyfriend in self defense. Instead of confessing, they simply raise him from the dead, and naturally this makes things MUCH worse. While there is a good handful of romance, the main focus of this film is the love between the two sisters and the rest of their family. 

But I’m a Cheerleader - Teenagers put in a gay ‘reform’ camp by their parents use their time together to explore their identities and form bonds. This film artfully parodies the absurdity of the prejudices our unaccepting society puts on the queer community and will probably hit close to home for queer kids who grew up with unaccepting families, but the ending is heartfelt and healing.  

The Shape of Water - Definitely a dark romance - be warned that there are some jarring and violent scenes here (including hand trauma and animal death), but these are far outweighed by the touching romance between a very unlikely couple. 

Pride and Prejudice (2005) - An absolute classic slowburn Georgian-era romance featuring Kiera Knightly as the heroine. What more could you want?

Music on your mind:

Burlesque - If you don’t really care if the plot is bland but do care about talented and gorgeous women performing exotic dance, check this one out 👀

Chicago - A self-serving, ambitious young woman tries to get out of a murder charge, using her time in the spotlight to chase her dream of becoming a superstar.  

Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella (1997) - A refreshing and visually stunning take on the classic story, and yes the songs are all different from the ones in the Disney version. 

For All Ages:

The Point - Animated in a conceptual style rather than the representational style of most modern films makes it unique enough, but then add the philosophical plot about a unique little boy struggling to fit into a society where everyone else is the same - a simple enough concept for children while adults are left to ponder further (as well as whether this is really a “kid’s” film).  

Matilda - A little girl with an incredible mind finds hope and love despite her not-so-loving family. Tosses the notion of ‘you have to love your family just because they’re your family’ out the window and brings in encouraging themes of finding your own way and your own happiness. 

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - An incredibly silly movie animated by the same studio who created Into the Spider-verse. The 

Sonic - I know what you’re thinking, but hear me out: if I recommended a film about an orphaned alien teenager trying to find a family to call his own, you might actually give it a shot, right? I was actually really surprised by how touching and funny this film turned out to be.     

The Iron Giant - One of the films you’ve probably seen but is definitely worth revisiting. If you’re not familiar, this is a really emotional film about a little boy and the giant alien robot he befriends and tries to protect from authorities.  

The Road to El Dorado - Another well-known film worth revisiting. Two friends seeking treasure actually manage to stumble upon a legendary city where they are treated as gods, but being immortalized isn’t exactly what they dreamed of. 

Megamind - Local supervillain regrets defeating his arch-rival and creates a new one, only to realize maybe his destiny wasn’t written in stone after all.  

A little lighthearted drama (action/comedy): 

Galaxy Quest - Probably the most elaborate and brilliant parody ever. The cast of a Star Trek-esque sci fi show are mistaken by actual aliens to be actual heroes and are caught up in an interplanetary war. Pokes lighthearted fun at all the corniest sci fi tropes. Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, and Alan Rickman head a fantastic cast. 

Charlie’s Angels - Also known as ‘the movie that made me like girls’. Lucy Liu, Drew Barrymore, and Cameron Diaz are all absolutely stunning ladies and their characters perform delightful parodies and subversions of typical sexist tropes. 

Bumblebee - Not all dissimilar to The Iron Giant, only the human protagonist is a teenage girl and there’s a lot more giant robot fight scenes. Also John Cena is one of the antagonists (though not a ‘bad’ guy per se!)

Miss Congeniality - Another film that made me gay, following the misadventures of a less-than-refined special agent going undercover in the Miss America beauty pageant. 

[stonefreeak]

Here we go! Another month, another update! 

We finally broke the 100k words posted! What the hell, amirite?

I hope y’all enjoy it~

Sabé helps her lady through her morning routine. There is no meeting in the senate today, and since the office building is still closed due to the investigation and reparations, she has worked mostly from the apartment these days. As such, there is no need for Padmé to have her hair done in an intricate Naboo style, or squeeze herself into formal senatorial garb.

Instead, they spend much of breakfast on the sofa, talking softly and drinking tea from a shared pot. The days where Padmé allows herself to simply be, sheds her Amidala persona, are few and far in between. So very precious due to the scarcity of them. Still, Sabé will stand by her Lady, her best friend, through thick and thin. As, she knows, will the rest of the handmaidens. They're all very loyal and take much pride in their work.

There's a knock on the door that interrupts their conversation.

Sabé gets to her feet swiftly, leaving he tea cup on the table.

When she opens the door, she's met with… Knight Skywalker. On the outside, Sabé keeps her expression calm and placid, but she's not quite pleased to see him here. She has her suspicions about his relationship with the Lady, in fact she's almost certain, but as Padmé has not spoken of it… Well, sabé can keep a secret, even one she hasn't been explicitly asked to keep.

Anything for her lady.

"Knight Skywalker. How can I help you?" In the corner of her eye, Sabé can see the Lady get out of her seat, the shawl she had around her shoulders falling to the couch.

"Hello Miss Sabé, I was hoping I could speak to Senator Amidala?"

Well, Sabé will give him that, he's always been very good at remember who is who among Padmé's handmaidens. That's more than can be said for most people they meet. Though now that she thinks about it, it may be a Jedi trait. Most Jedi she's met seem to find it very important to address her as she prefers. Well, Ellé's been working with Jedi for some time now, she'll probably know if Sabé asks her opinion.

"Knight Skywalker!" Padmé's voice is pleasantly surprised as she sidles up to Sabé. "Thank you, Sabé. I'll take it from here."

A gentle dismissal.

"Yes, my lady." She bows and steps away, heading farther into the room, while still keeping her eye on her lady, as is her duty as bodyguard.

They speak in low tones as they move to the couch, too low.

She will keep her eye on them.

~~~~

"Anakin! I wasn't expecting you back so soon," Padmé says, throwing a glance over her shoulder at Sabé. She hates keeping secrets from her friend and trusted confidant, but… She's made her bed and now she must lie in it.

"I got called back early because of what happened at the Senate." Anakin's voice is hoarse, and he looks tired, but there's also something… happy, about him. Something she cannot quite put her finger on.

"Are you heading up the investigation?" That could be why, Padmé knows that Anakin usually feels better if he's actively working and trying to figure out things that have harmed people he knows. All she needs to do is remember Tatooine, remember getting the message about Obi-Wan being taken capture, to know that. Her love is a man of action.

"No, nothing like that. But… Obi-Wan's awake." He smiles then, a smile that lights up his entire face and soothes her soul. It's like facing the midday sun. She's always loved his smile.

She lets out a long breath. "I'm so relieved to hear that. I've been so worried, ever since it happened. And then a Senator tried to suggest that we should reinstate Palpatine as Supreme Chancellor if he didn't make it, an—" before she can finish her sentence, Anakin cuts her off.

"That sounds like a good idea. Palpatine knows the job better than anyone else, and he's very dedicated to the Republic. He'd probably accept the responsibility even though he's been enjoying the peace and rest he's had since he left office."

Padmé swallows her words. Anakin… Anakin trusts Palpatine. More than anyone, perhaps. How does she explain to him what she's realised about the man?

He's not a good person, no matter what Anakin thinks… But Palpatine has also been there for Ani for so long… How could she possibly try to take him away from Anakin?

No, it's better if she doesn't say anything.

"Yes, well, it's wasn't a feasible suggestion. And I had to protest on principle." She cannot say that she feared his return to power.

"You protested? But it's Palpatine! He's been your mentor for years!" There's something in Anakin's expression, something almost betrayed, and she hates that she put it there.

"Anakin, if the Senate suddenly just goes against a majority decision, it would set a dangerous precedent. Regardless of who it was, I couldn't have accepted it purely for that. Besides, Acting Vice-Chancellor Ha'han-ash stands to take over should Obi-Wan… There was never a reason to bring the suggestion up in the first place."

He looks slightly mollified and Padmé smiles at him, brushing a lock of hair from her face, looking up at him from beneath her lashes.  

The smile returns on his face, and the slightest of blushes form.

She loves him so much it echoes inside her.

We should never have married.

The thought comes unbidden, horrifying and awful. but once she's had it she cannot release it.

It's true.

They shouldn't have married.

"You said Obi-Wan is awake now, please tell me more. I've been so worried about him, he's a good friend." She motions towards the sofa and Anakin follows her over and they sit down.

She wants all the information she can get.

Information is power, and Padmé has felt helpless when it comes to the situation with Obi-Wan.

She hates feeling helpless. It brings her back to the Battle of Naboo, and the fear that she cannot help her people.

"Well," Anakin starts, and as he launches into the story, Padmé lets herself be swept away in his words and stops thinking of the past.

The future still lays ahead of them, and it's more important than what once was.

~~~~

They speak of Obi-Wan recovery for a while—though Anakin holds back the details of the Sith Master, he doesn't want to worry Padmé unduly—but he cannot help the restlessness he feels down to his very bones. He hasn't been able to stop thinking about Master Che and Doctor Nema... and Master Windu.

"Anakin? Is something wrong?" Padmé says, her hand coming to rest over Anakin's own. He smiles at her and bites his lip.

He shakes his head. "Not wrong, per se," he mutters and runs a hand through his hair. "It's just... I went to visit Master Che, the healer who saved Obi-Wan's life, and... She lives with another Jedi, a Knight."

Padmé tilts her head to the side. "Yes? Is that unusual?" She doesn't understand. Of course she doesn't, she's not a Jedi.

He frowns. "I don't... know, exactly. Padawans and their Masters usually live together, but once the Padawan is Knighted they move out to their own apartment... And, actually, Ahsoka has her own apartment, we don't share one. I think it's because we're not in the Temple very often... and war time has changed Jedi traditions a lot... Ahsoka became my Padawan in the field, after all, not during a small ceremony in the Temple which is the most common way. Or was, anyway." He turns his hand over and closes his fingers over Padmé's hand.

"So, is this Knight a former Padawan of Master Che's?"

Anakin considers the idea. It could  be true, he supposes. Perhaps Nema just didn't move out after her Knighting because of the war? He really has no idea how old she or Master Che is, after all... But if they're both close friends with Master Windu...

"I don't know. I don't think so, but I can't be sure."

Perhaps that is why they're so close? But it seemed... It felt... Anakin sighs in frustration, not sure how to express himself even in his own head.

"So they live together, and they're likely not a former Master and Padawan... I assume the living arrangement is unusual. Are they... in a relationship?" Padmé's voice is hesitant, almost timid, as if she's not sure what will happen if she says the words aloud.

"I... I don't... They can't be. It's not allowed. Attachment is forbidden. That's why no one knows about our marriage." It hurts, the truth of it hurts. Or maybe that's just Anakin's head.

Padmé nods, her gaze at the floor and her mouth downturned. She looks sad, as if she's hurting too.

"You once... You once said that Jedi are encouraged to love... Do you remember?" Her voice shakes.

Anakin nods. It's true, he did say that. Because it's true. Compassion, unconditional love, is part of what makes a Jedi. One of the most important things that separate them from the Sith.

'You cannot rid yourself of the Dark Side, Anakin, it resides in all of us. The strength of a Jedi comes from the ability to resist its lure and hold compassion and calm as central aspects of our selves over the likes of selfishness or anger. But the Dark Side itself can be useful, if you can control it, if you can keep yourself from being swept away.'

He shudders at the memory. It's not really important right now, is it? The Dark side and the Sith have nothing to do with Padmé and their marriage.

"Perhaps that is their way? Love can come in many forms..." Padmé's fingers close around Anakin's hand, and they gaze at each other for a long moment.

Anakin nods slowly.

"Perhaps."

She smiles. "I don't know the Jedi, I know it only as an outsider. What I know I've learned as your wife, Obi-Wan's friend, Ahsoka, by interacting with Jedi in the Senate... But I don't know it the way you do."

Anakin returns her smile. "You're right." There really isn't much Padmé can say here, is there? She's right that she doesn't know the Jedi, that she can only base her ideas and thoughts on what she's learned from others. She hasn't lived it, and unlike Palpatine she hasn't studied it either.

Still...

"Thank you," he whispers, and pulls her into his arms.

He'll figure it out, one way or another. Perhaps he can try to talk to someone about it... maybe he can suss some details out from Master Windu!

It'll be fine, one way or another.

—

(Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi masterpost)

[malereader-inserts]

Tribulation

Fandom: Kingsman Pairing: Harry Hart x Son!Reader Summary: tribulation/ˌtrɪbjʊˈleɪʃ(ə)n/noun : a cause of great trouble or suffering. OR a state of great trouble or suffering. Word Count: 1993 A/n: HEY HAPPY ONE YEAR OF THE BLOG! 5TH OF JAN I MADE THIS BLOG AND LOOK AT US - ENJOY THIS FIC

Harry loved his son with his whole heart.

The problem was the fact that it was hard to show it, as a Kingsman you were never supposed to have a relationship and having a kid could risk the agent and the child itself to more potential harm. 

You knew of your dad’s line of work, you were twelve years old - a wide-eyed boy with curiosity in his eyes and a lot of admiration to his father. As you grew up older, you grew to resent the man. 

With the lack of affection and care, you’ve assumed that your father had even forgotten you had existed. Most mornings he had left the house and returning days later or late into the night. When you manage to bump into each other in the house it’s often awkward.

Harry wished he could be a better father, but he felt like he was too late to try. Moments when he returns home for tea, you always take your food away from the kitchen, refusing to eat with him. When he has a day off and suggest that you both should do some bonding, you would scoff and make up an excuse to do some University work. 

He tried being a dad, telling you off and scowling when he sees the butterfly tattoo on your upper arm on your left. Tried to scowl at you when you end up getting jumped by taking a shortcut through the rough ends of London. Yet you dismissed them with equal rage and annoyance. 

You somehow ended up calling him Harry rather dad, he just hadn’t been in your life so he had no right to be called a dad. 

You wished he had tried harder when you were younger, you remember the nights when he would tuck you into bed and read you a bedtime story. Or telling tales of his missions and what Merlin had been doing lately, visiting your uncle James but he takes pride being called Lancelot.

When you turned ten, everything just seems to wash away. The tales of the missions, your visit to the headquarters, your worth to your father just gone.

It was amazing how your dad barely knew how old you were. He had assumed that you were the same age as Eggsy with the ripe age of twenty-three yet you stood younger than the desirable son at the age of twenty-one. Not much of a difference, yet Harry saw everything between the gap.

“Where you going young man?”

“Out,” You mumbled, shrugging your jacket on, “Not like you would care anyway, see you whenever.”

“(Y/n),” Harry had a warning tone, a glare that you basically became immune to.

“Harry!” You mocked.

“You know I care for you, don’t ever say that,” Harry scowled, and yet here you were rolling your eyes again, “Those people are bad news, the-”

“The world’s a piece of bad news and I’m here to protect you from the dangers of it,” You voiced back his words from a previous similar conversation, “Forget it, Harry, you make me feel like I’m not good enough.”

Typical attitude of a teenager/young adult as you slam the door shut. Harry could barely stop you when he hears the engine rev up outside his house, with you shouting in joy and glee. He watches a car speeding off, he shakes his head and sits back on his office chair.

An hour later, Eggsy came through the door with a grin, “Hey Harry!”

The boy was cheerful, sent a wave to the older man as he holds a white plastic bag with a takeaway.

“Eggsy.”

“Merlin’s on his way too,” Eggsy smiles, “He heard I bought KFC and wanted some - lads only, amirite?”

Eggsy grinned as there was a knock on the door which he had answered, Harry softly smiles, sitting on his office chair. Elbow leaning on the armrest and his hand covering his lips as his eyes flicker to the picture of you when you were eleven on his desk.

Eggsy making himself at home as he shrugs off his jacket whilst Merlin unpacks the takeaway on the desk, which Harry couldn’t complain. 

“Hey, Harry, is this when you were young?” Eggsy asked, looking at a bookshelf, noticing a picture of you with your rugby uniform, aged fourteen, a grin on your lips as you hold a trophy in your hands, mucked from head to toe with dirt.

Harry looked over, remembering how he was on a mission during that game, but your mother had visited you and took the picture, it was one of the few memories you had left of her.

“My son, (Y/n),” Harry responded as Merlin looked at him with his eyebrow raised at the mention of you, “He’s currently out.”

“I didn’t know you had a son,” Eggsy continues, sitting across Harry and next t Merlin, “Why’d you pick me rather (Y/n)?”

“(Y/n) is emotionally driven rather logic paving the way, that and I never wanted to see my son in the field, he’s never showed any interest really.”

“That and Harry and his son don’t have the best of relationship,” Merlin continues, addressing the elephant in the room. Merlin gave his friend a sheepish smile, “Sorry.”

Eggsy looked awkward, he had noticed photos of you in the office, barely outside the room. He wondered if there was any reason behind them, but brushed it off as Harry continues to talk about you.

“I don’t have a good feeling tonight,” 

You knew your father had bad guys, enemies, but you never thought as yourself worthy to be held against you will to be bait to your father. But, all you remember was going out with your friends for the night and calling for a taxi cab to take you home.

Next thing you knew, a needle was in your neck and everything was becoming fuzzy. So, here you were awake, your hands tied behind the chair and your legs roped with the legs of the chair. 

“Where is Harry Hart?” A masked man with two other men with sharp objects stood behind the main man.

“Fuck knows,” You spat at him, “I’m not his fucking GPS.”

The man in the middle chuckled, “You’ve got an attitude, kid, tell me where your dad is or this will be less painful.”

You knew your dad could be home, yet, deep down inside you, you just couldn’t tell where he was because he is your blood. You don’t betray your own for your own safety. You clenched your hands into a fist as you glared at the three men.

“Give me your best fucking shot.”

“He’s missing, I know he is,” Harry gritted his teeth, “He might hate me, Merlin, but he would never run away - not having his whole life here.”

Merlin nodded, his finger typing furiously on the keyboard trying to locate the chip in your necklace, which was given by your mother. Your mother wasn’t part of the Kingsman but suggested to Harry if you were ever lost, missing, kidnapped or something along those lines the necklace would guide him to you.

You had been missing for two days and Harry hadn’t been thinking well. At first, he wondered if you were with your friends, but they had shown up wondering where you had disappeared off to which made the worry and anxiety sink into Harry.

Meanwhile, within the two days, you have never felt your body endure so much pain and aches. You didn’t know that different knives could do different damage and yet by now, you could identify which knife out of the six they had they were using on you. You’ve felt the burns from the lighter, cigarette burns on you as they smoke a couple and put them out by pressuring the lit end on your skin.

Sometimes, when they had a few drinks down them they would use their fist, the number of times you’ve been sent flying on the chair from their heavy punches where high. What you hated the most is when you refused to speak they would tip the chair onto its back legs as one covers your mouth and nose, flushing loads of water on to you. God, drowning wasn’t pleasant. 

“Wanna talk yet?” 

Lifting your head up slightly, the black eye, cut face as you spat blood out from your mouth. There was still a glare on your end if this was your head then fuck it.

“I’m never going to tell.”

The man stood in front of you, looked up at the two men by your side awaiting orders. He nodded, “Hold him down,” a swizz blade snapped out, “I’m skinning that butterfly tattoo off.”

Your eyes widen, pressure on your shoulders grew heavy. Despite your ever-growing hatred for your father, that was the only thing that kept the good memories of the older times alive. The blue butterfly was your dad’s favourite as you remembered correctly.

You tighten your grip on the chair and closed your eyes.

It was the last you saw the tattoo on you.

Harry knew he shouldn’t have burst into the enemy base camp, but the only thing he cared about was your survival whilst Roxy and Eggsy can take care of other matters. He wanted to grab you and take you to the agency hospital.

“Alright, to find (Y/n) you’ll need to use these directions...”

Merlin’s voice was drowned out in Harry’s thought as he gripped the rifle in hand. Eggsy and Roxy taking the lead in killing any people that tried to stop Harry from reaching you.

“Harry turn to the next room on the left!”

Harry didn’t hesitate as he holds the gun up and sees you, passed out he assumed, guarded by two men. 

“Don’t touch him, don’t you fucking touch him.” Harry sneered as he starts to fire the gun, killing both the men.

Dropping to his knees, not caring if he was staining the suit, he placed the gun next to him as both his hands went to your face. His right hand to your neck to feel a shallow, weak pulse whilst his left hand tried to push your head upright.

“(Y/n)?” He murmured, “Oh, my child, I promised to protect  you.”

You stirred softly, gently waking up as Harry took out a small Kingsman gadget to use a laser beam to untie you from the ropes. You were fast to open your eyes when you feel someone throwing your arm over their shoulder.

You whine, groan and moan - one after the other.

“I’ve got you.“ You hear your dad speak, holding your weight as your feet were just carrying as much as they could hold out, often stumbling over themselves, “Please be okay.”

“Dad?”

Your voice was broken, almost sounding like you were about to lose your voice. It was quiet and Harry was sure you’d probably start having delusions and hallucinations if you don’t stop the bleeding from a concerning stab wound. Your voice was soft as well, yet there was comfort within the tone.

Pressing your forehead against your father’s shoulder, your speech slurred as you felt your dad carry you to safety.

“I’m sorry I failed you, I should’ve been there,” Harry was guilty but there was movement in you, a tighter grip over his shoulders - as if it was a bad attempt to say that you disagreed.

“You could never fail me, dad, you always make me proud.”

Harry could have broken down in tears just then, you were so close to making the helicopter as Roxy and Eggsy shoot down people behind you two. Harry softly smiles.

“You got to stay awake,” Harry mused as you mumble about something it hurting and it was too difficult, “You know, your mum would be proud of you.”

“I don’t need her to be proud of me, I need yours.”

“Then you’ll always have it.”

[papichulolevi-blog]

If I’m To Die / Levi x Reader

I KNOW THIS IS SUPER BAD OMG BAHAHAHA but oh welll amirite :0 Also I’ve cut some lyrics because I would’ve been repeating myself yOu fEeL. So ye enjoy! This is the song: https://youtu.be/eGFYliYE7rQ it’s not required to listen to it, but it makes the theme sadder u kno

If I’m to die

before I reach you

just know I meant to love you

till I did

          Silence was all that filled my ears. Uncomfortable yet incredibly peaceful. The wind helped ease the pain that’s found itself coursing throughout my very body. The body of “Humanities Strongest.” What a joke. Nothing about me was strong besides my pride. I was weak. I was blind. 

I was blind to the love (Name) never failed to give. 

(Name). I’m so sorry.

          She was beautiful, no more than that, much more. She was stronger than any force, smarter than any mind. She contained a love so pure, it made you forget about the harsh reality we were so unfortuante to face. I took the beauty she was and shattered it with the weight of my harsh words. 

I ignored her love. 

She was the one thing keeping me sane, yet I thought it would make me the exact opposite. I’ll never forget her pleas for my love, for my attention. I’ll never forget seeing the love of my life so broken because of me. 

“Please Levi you need to rest. This isn’t healthy.”

“(Name), leave me be. I don’t need you to tell me what to do, you’re not my mother.”

“But I care about you Levi, you need to sleep. Please, for me?” She said as she came around my desk to massage my pained shoulders. I don’t deserve her touch. I don’t deserve her worry.

I rip her hands off of me leading her to slightly stumble back. “Okay, and? I couldn’t care less about you and what you have to say. I’m fine on my own, and probrably much better without you.” I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. 

You left after that, giving me a kiss on my forehead before you walked out with a quick “I love you.” I’m such a fool. Little did I know, you walked out that night with a broken heart and tears flowing down you face at a rate that never seemed to stop. I love you. 

If I’m to slip beneath a train meant to take me

know that I believe it was worth it

Tell my friends goodbye 

Tell my almost ex-wife that I loved her

and left her

too soon

          I was never afraid of dying, that was though, before I met you. I knew that when in the survey corps you’ve already dug your grave, it’s just the dying part that has yet to happen. That’s one of the main reasons I threw away your love. I knew, or atleast thought that I knew, that it was the right thing to do. 

         It was after meeting you, learning everything about you, falling in love with you, that I learned that if I were to die I would be leaving so much behind. Your smile, your laugh, your heart, your mind were the treasures I held closest to me. My most prized memories. But, I’ve died fighting. Fighting for a world for you to live in, to be happy in. That’s enough for me. I wanted to fight for a world where I could marry you, start a family with you, die with you, but I guess that was too much to ask. I love you. 

I would watch from above 

but I fear there is nothing but sleep

oh I hope to be seeing you soon

Don’t know what’s out there

more fear I assume

Oh I’m scared you’ll know what to do...

If I’m to die before you

          This is my time to go. I bid you farewell my love. I’ll miss you from the unkown location I’m destined to go, but please take your time. Find the love you deserve. Start a family. Be free. It scares me, knowing you’ll find someone else. Love someone else. Have a family with someone else, but I’ve been selfish for too long. Don’t stay in the past, fight for the future. Please, don’t waste time on me. I’m not worth your tears, love. I love you.

And if I’m to die before we spend a soft day 

know my final thoughts will be of regret

If I’m to drown in the deep sea that parts us 

I once lived and loved, don’t forget

If I’m to die before you. 

          I’ve been a hypocrite. I’ve told soilders to choose decisions they’ll regret the least, only for me to die with endless amounts of it. I die with the regret of not loving you, of not treasuring you. I carry the regret of letting you slip though my fingers to the grave. I was wrong for thinking that love made us weak, for it was the exact opposite. Love only makes us stronger. I was wrong and I’ll forever hope that you learn to forgive me, but I am not even worth that. 

Please, don’t ever forget me. 

Au revoir, mon amour. 

Je t’aime.