#happy first week of classes
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shokushu goukan for the cyborg soul (2018? i think) - franny choi
“i am just trying to eat rocks”
#franny choi#i really like this poem#sorry i obliterated it#ough#slay guys#happy first week of classes#yippee#im taking a film class#bc im fucking insufferable#blackout poetry#blackout poem#author#book#poetry
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comic about something that i still don't understand
#my art#happy new year!! my first drawing of the year is a depressing comic ^__^#sorry my mom walked in on me working on my project for my painting class a few days ago#and immediately complained that i'm 'not doing anything important'#like ?? i'm literally working on an assignment?? i'm a design student?? i haven't drawn anything for myself in 4 weeks?? what?? lmao?????#and that awakened some memories LOL#anyways. i'm sure some of you can relate#ok to rb#comic#personal art
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YOU GUYS MUST LOOK AT WHAT TEE GOT ME FOR MY BDAY!!!! SHE GAVE IT TO ME EARLY FOR CONGRATULATIONS ON FINISHING MY FIRST WEEK OF LAW SCHOOL
#i’m going to explain why it’s so special and you all will listen#ONE this is literally based off a little drabble she wrote for me while i was sad and the drabble was my favorite thing ever and it#literally made me cry sobs#TWO look at the DRESS!!!!!! it fits in with all of my other comms and i’m so happy because i love having consistency with my comms it makes#so happy#THREE#she got it from my FAVORITE ARTIST EVER ??? SOBS THATS SO SPECIAL TO ME I LOVE THIS ARTIST SO MUCH SHES MY GO TO ARTIST#and my face looks so pretty and even the couch and the background matches my other comms and i’m sniffling cuz i love it sm 🥹#quite literally the best way to finish off my first week of school 🥹#sobs this is so special to me i’m literally making it the new background on my watch so i can stare at it during class forever#this is the bestest birthday gift ever sobs i cry so hard it’s so thoughtful & in depth with my ss AND my fav artist ever i’m sobbing#— selfships
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How (if at all) has Temp changed after the whole "being burned at the stake because the french were salty" deal
Well for one I think he has a big fear of fire now naturally and (I forget to draw this constantly but) burn scars over half of his body not just on his face. He’s kinda self conscious about em and has his bad confidence days but he’s learning how to love himself more these days and it’s getting better :)
I also wanna go the really angsty route and say that because of the smoke inhalation damage to his lungs - he can’t sing beautifully like he used to and even his speaking voice is raspier and a bit quiet now
He and France are very cold and barely civil to each other now - everyone knows not to leave those two in a room together alone. More often than not Gil ends up being the default mediator between em lol
#sorry I was at work lol#I don’t wanna say it’s all bad tho#Gil’s been encouraging him to go join one of those choirs that train and use ex smokers to sing in their own way again#it’s been giving him his vocal confidence and happiness back#he goes every week and brings treats for the others#the entire class loves him he’s their little sweetheart#he’s like a grandchild to em#dw everyone he’s attending therapy and it’s helping :)#and when he feels sad and ugly Gil wraps him in blankets and cuddles (wrestles) him hard#rain kisses on that boy 😤#also he has a cat#ngl the first name that popped up in my head was Smokey but that’s cruel 😭#it’s a darker shaded tortie and he’s probably named her something like Angelica or Josephine lmao#something with fancy spelling and cherubic sounding#maybe Cherub is her name#thatd be cute#wow this is getting long sorry lol#teutemp#hws teutonic knights#hws knights templar
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eyes snap open guys we have a desperate lack of soulmate AUs in this fandom i fear
we have so many possibilities to work with...
hesphael soulmate AU where your first words are imprinted on your skin in the soulmate's handwriting. they first meet when theyre like 9 or younger, so they're still learning how to write and their motor skills are shit. the words on their arms are in the handwriting of their adult selves. they watch each other grow into the person that had always been promised to them by the universe.
tesilette soulmate AU where whatever you write on your skin shows up on your soulmate's as well. the first thing tesilid does in each round is to reach for a pen. every round he spends a couple of minutes or hours staring desperately at his skin for a response.
in round 17 he didn't even have to reach for a pen - she's right there in front of him. at last.
#a transmigrator's privilege#the perks of being an s class heroine#(their shared skill but make it Worse)#SPOILERS IN NEXT TAGS#when reed first reappears he doesnt reach for a pen#but he sees the divine advent and laughs#do you think ailette replies to tesilid ever since that week of returns?#bc anything she writes might get sent to both tesilids#but she cant tell which one wrote the words that appeared on her arm#(what if reed keeps writing but never gets a response?)#(is it bc ailette chooses not to respond or bc he is no longer her soulmate? bc he was never meant to have her? bc he isnt the 17th?)#(what if he is once again writing to someone who isnt there to hear him?)#and and and also before the regressions hestio and ephael know abt tesilette being soulmates#bc tesilid always looks so happy to hear from her#but once the regressions start. when he stares at his skin for a response they ask him what hes waiting for#because you've never had a soulmate? and its okay not to have a soulmate. it doesnt make you less complete#(except tesilid knows he has a soulmate. why dont they remember her?)
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daily whistlepaw until ah becomes PoV day 1167
I think I finally understand how people feel when around a crush, can't say I enjoy it
#warrior cats#whistlepaw#windclan#medicine cat apprentice#this isn't my first crush lol but this one has had me feel the strongest of feelings (and might be my first genuine crush lol)#the fact I have been building up A Lot of stress for the entire week probably didn't help.#and the fact my stomach hurt is also probably at least partially to explain by the fact I barely ate last night#but MAN seeing my (latest) crush in such a pretty dress and then go on stage and play (a goddess!!!!!!! she's a goddess)#(I already bought tickets to go see the full thing; I will die but I will die happy (I hope))#but yeah I struggled for a good 2 hours to fall asleep and also had stomach weirdness happening the next morning#man it was not fun#(and then she came to sit next to me during class and I had to play it cool (I was too deranged on sleep deprivation to really care about#being my typical brand of weird but I do sometimes feel like an idiot around her and feel guilty because then I fear that she finds me#annoying and will hate me and I will fail this again (losing a friendship over a crush once was not that fun lol) and Traumas don't help#either at all so uh I'm just trying to spend time with her I just always feel a bit worried that I'm annoying her and it's consuming my bra#I do also still feel a little guilty about having this crush; internalized homophobia/issues around sexuality are hard to shake off#and while it's very normal and stuff I never dare to go the entire way when my brain conjures fantasies that are a little too risqué#I just feel guilty man I know I shouldn't but still it fucking sucks in my brain#and god talking about this in therapy would be a mess#I might have to eventually but I don't wanna#anyways; wild vent in the tags aside; yay a whis!
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Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.
SO......
I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.
#speculation nation#IM SO NERVOUSSSSS but i need to do it. i need to. worst case scenario i fail and have to try again another day.#i was actually gonna try to schedule for a week from today but they were full up for the next 2 weeks.#so. 3 weeks! my therapist is gonna be happy for me when i tell her haha#this is. something ive been avoiding for over 10 years now. but i decided at the start of this year that This would be my year.#Year Of Unfuck My Life. and im finally doing it. im going to finally get my license.#it's so. huge actually. a similar level of Holy Shit factor as me graduating.#which seems like an uneven comparison but honestly ive just been so so so scared of this driving test#an insurmountable obstacle bc i was stuck at school away from family to help me practice etc etc#very tied up with me being stuck at school for so long actually. the neverending purgatory of being Stuck In Place.#but my cousin lives closer to me now and hes been helping me out. and i am so very grateful.#augh augh augh augh. life is so busy and it feels like everything is happening at once AAAAAAAAAAAA#but im taking it all in stride. i am. oh god i might have to just practice and then take my audition video all on the same day.#bc i am too tired to deal with it rn and i have an exam tomorrow so idk if i can practice then. also i have to clean.#i will make it work. i will make something work. for the love of fucking god i will make it work.#no time to write barely any time to relax but thats okay i am Go Go Going and trying to keep enough time to sleep#(prior few nights being the..exception lol.)#i certainly wouldnt want to live this way for too long. but just a few more months. i can do it.#next semester hopefully wont be as busy. i'll have 3 hard classes but if im lucky they wont even have much homework.#i can do it. i can get through it. i will get my license in 3 weeks (manifesting) and i will get my own car.#i will find a new apartment to live in. i will Hopefully find a job.#within a year my life is going to be much much different.#my life is Already much much different than it was just a year ago. tho this year has been more... metamorphosis.#in a year's time. i will be 28 years old. and the pieces will Finally be falling into place (hopefully!!!!!)#for now. god i need to rest. will probably go to sleep early tonight. need to be rested for my exam tomorrow.#first tho i gotta shower and feed both me and the cats. yes.
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i haven’t done any of the work yet either, lmao idk how i’m gonna get through this
#literally last week i had to worry about an english project#the stress for it was insane like i’m tired man i don’t wanna do this anymore#i joke to my friends about killing myself but ts looking real nice rn i can’t do it bro#i feel like a failure#vent post#rant#i find myself thinking of my future too. idk what i’m gonna do and i can’t even imagine myself having one#i don’t know how to explain it but every time i imagine myself in the future#it’s me as someone else. like i want to be anyone but me. you know? i can’t imagine myself. it’s always someone else’s characteristics.#i think that’s why i wanted to shift so bad. to be someone that just isn’t me. idk how to explain it or how to even get through this but im#tired man i’ve been hating a lot of things about me. i hate my chin i hate my body i hate my arms i hate my acne i hate being in my skin#i can’t even take a nap because i have to atleast work on this presentation soon and maybe some of my study guide for my test tomorrow#i have the class first hour too#like i can’t win man. whoever’s out there in the universe let me be happy with myself just once please
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Hey guys, so I just wanted to say that I’m probably not going to be putting out much writing for a bit. Like right now, I’m not actively working on writing anything. I feel kinda shitty about not writing though :/
I will probably (most likely, don’t want to say “definitely” though cause I know myself) put out some more short prompts/maybe some snippets in the next while but probably not any long pieces. Maybe. I don’t know maybe inspiration will strike tomorrow and this will all be a lie. But as of now, yeah.
please stick with me here though I promise I’ll get back to writing soon.
I was also thinking about doing whumptober again, not sure if I will do it for a new series with characters or miscellaneous fills. Let me know?
#i feel crappy about not writing but also like#I started reading this book#and I read the first one in two and a half days#and I just got the second one Monday and I’m almost halfway through it#I’m really happy because it’s been a while since I’ve read a book and been excited like this#I stayed up late reading last night and it was just#such a good feeling#I haven’t done that since middle school#it’s been so long since I’ve found a book I could really get into#but also band camp starts next week#that’s two weeks long so idk what my writing will be like then#then school starts up again#my classes are a lot harder this year which I’m excited but also nervous for#and I have a job now so balancing everything’s going to take some getting used to
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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end
#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask#december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery#and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc#and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh#every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night#oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes#and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester#and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu#oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well#and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also#pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc#so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal#honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know#like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc#but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated#also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm#is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is#incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship#so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year#at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately#i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new#my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper#and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been#like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare#idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling#and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa
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Daily November crying sessions start today
#why. who. how. how tf does my professor think it's okay to assign 4 major assignments in the same amount of weeks + 4-6 readings every week#all of which are ~20 pages.#i've got all that to do and another big assignment for a different class. plus the weekly readings and reflections for that one.#and i have work.#i've stupidly decided to volunteer for a thing on saturday in the hopes of bulking up my resume + rubbing elbows with the administration.#and i have a medical thing on friday and i'll be looped out and likely will have to sleep half the day. probably won't get ANY work done.#what else..... some fairly easy stuff for my other class thank GOD. but a lot of reading and preparing for a few big essays.#november is the month i hate the fucking most. i always lose my mind in november. and no wonder!!!!!!#meanwhile people are bugging me to hang out. i will be in a student-coma until approx. the first week of december. see you then. peace.#oh and my BIL + SIL sitting me down and showing me all their europe honeymoon photos for 2 HOURS last night is also not helping my mood.#fuck you lol#like i'm happy for you and nice photos but also? Fuck You.#if i can offer some dark humour though.....#my fic axis exists because of a legitimate smidge of insanity i experienced last year. it shifted the way i looked at the world and at grie#sooooo i wonder what kind of fic my mind will crank out this time?#i don't think i'm at risk of losing it this year though. doesn't seem that way. but we'll see!#i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health f#rst i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental heal
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august <3
#latte art by meeeee <3 also the 2nd picture is my impromptu thrift haul im so happy with my little finds <3#anyway august’s been unusually nice this year i’ve been feeling good :) school’s starting up next week but if i don’t think abt it maybe it#simply won’t happen ! anyway it’s not that i mind school so much but my first semester classes r just not fun……. so looking forward to later#this year when i’ve got interesting classes again…. booo statistics im really looking forward to being done with that after this year#personal
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Current mood (pre-dinner): god is testing me
Current mood (post dinner): I good now :)
#txt#I’ve been overhauling the first half of this video for over 6 hours a day#for maybe a week or so now#and once I’m finally done I have 1 day before classes start 😭#I NEED TO POLISH IT TO A POINT OF SATISFACTION OR ILL NEVER BE HAPPY ….#good mindset btw. lying#it will be worth it and I AM giving myself time to rest …. I prommy
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The universe loves me
#i can get the a i need for my online class after all!!!!!!#eeeeeeeeeeeeee#i just have to do 2 things and I'm gonna get the a#then I'll get my full amount of funds instead of half#I'm so excited#i mean first i have to do things for my in person class for that a but that one is super easy#this is such a gift and i don't know what deity did this#i don't worship any luck deities or ones associated with money or fortune or knowledge so idk#like all of mine are chaos and revelry and trickery other than one#but that one is like motherhood and stuff and i worship her to get the comfort of a divine mother#anyway whatever deity decided to blast my ass with fortune i love you#also i got what i needed to up my financial aid for the upcoming school year so double fortune#I'm vibrating with excitement#i may not be getting anywhere in my job search but my bank account won't be negative and I'll have the grades i wanted#life is beautiful today#i also got my doctor to switch me to gel for my t so i won't have a bad reaction hopefully and i see the gastroenterologist tomorrow#i'll get the swallowing problem dealt with soon even if i have to get a camera shoved down my throat again#and my college is doing a free tuition thing that while i don't think i qualify for will still be really good for other people who need it#and my dad leaves town for 2 weeks in the morning#I've just had a ton of good things happen in a row#also i got to see the living tombstone on Saturday and i swear that fixed the funk i was in from what i had to do last week#and i learned sweet tea doesn't taste like pure sugar so it's actually decent#damn I'm feeling good#anyway happy rant over#go be gremlins#and as always#drink water you heathens
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..
#not a great day#really tired and not entirely sure what to do about it this time#tho I did make an unexpectedly good grade on my earth science exam!! and I am so happy about that :)#on the flip side I turned in the weekly reflections we have to write for a different class and I can fairly confidently say it's the worst#one I've done so far :(#I'm fighting off the discouragement tooth and nail but it is a struggle tbh#think I might log out of tumblr for a bit#(actually I logged out of tumblr once already today but now I'm doing it again and posting about it first will hopefully#force me to stay faithful to my decision to stay away from this place for at least the rest of this week)#love you all. talk to you later.#pray for me please.
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.
#so. there’s this girl. we’re taking the same 20hr a week summer class#so for five hours a day we are in close proximity. i saw her on the first day and thought she was cute. we got to talking#became friends. i organized a study group with us and a few other ppl from class but no one else showed… thank god tbh#what was meant to be a three hour study sesh became 12 hours of us talking about everything and nothing. hinting at being gay. more hinting#about being gay. hour ten: i tell her i’m into women. her smile. god. she laughs and says she’s also into women. red cheeks#nervous glances. she’s been kicking my feet all night just because she could. i’m smiling like an idiot because there’s a chance. she keeps#causally initiating contact. it’s getting to hour twelve. i’ve got to go because i have work in the morning. i can’t keep my eyes off her#‘when are we doing this again?�� ‘tuesday’ ‘deal’#i say goodbye followed with a casual ‘see you in less than 24hrs’ she replies even more casually ‘feels like an eternity’#so basically i’m feeling AO NORMAL HAHAHAHA!!! SHES INTO WOMEN.#SHE SAID I WAS INTIMIDATING WHEN WE FIRST MET. FEW HOURS LATER: INTIMIDATING WOMEN ARE ATTRACTIVE. AAAAHAHAAHAHA!!!! I CANT EVEN#basically i’m in LOVE. we’re planning her birthday party already and that shit is months away- just the two of us.WHAT THE FUCK IS MY LIFE?#I’m so happy and the one tumblr user that follows me has to know.#the way we’ve been texting for an hour after we’ve left. i’m positively gleeful
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