#happy end of the tours. god im so tired

[mayoiayasep]

ok mini 1.5 main story braindump under cut

im not gonna lie i think the plot for this round of tours was fumbled very badly. like the first tour i was genuinely interested into despite the fact that ive been pretty bored of the gatekeeper plot because negi and hitsugi seemed like somewhat interesting characters. i liked the first tour story, at least more than the rest of them, arashi's arc through the story while i havent fully read it felt pretty well rounded and according to things ive seen about the current event story i think things ended well for her. which. yay<3

i barely heard anything about the second tour aside from izumi being a loser over makoto so i dont really have anything to say about it. i hope aira had a good time

the third story is where my hopes for the story kinda nosedived though, negi and hitsugi being aboriginal is a super cool concept that was. immediately ruined by the context in that scene. also i didnt hear as much about them, but goddamn can the ryuseitai juniors have a break. let them be happy again

now. last tour. im ngl im kinda regretting wishing so hard for a mayoi tour in this series. however i did get ninja association tour so like. win ig?? negi and hitsugi i will miss you forever and i think that. maybe we should get some elaboration on the fact that negi was literally shot?? onstage?? like was no one affected by that? mayoi lore wise i think. that if written well it could be cool. tbh while i did have other theories i could come to like whats actually canon now. however this is akira we're talking about so im ready for the worst. mayoi opening up to shinobu about his past was really sweet though. ninja association my love and light

lastly. i cannot. take the gatekeeper plot seriously im sorry this entire thing just feels entirely too stressful for me to get emotionally involved in so i literally do not care. gatekeeper himself was a little funny in the last tour. loser man

anw. i wish hitsugi and negi were introduced under normal circumstances and i wish that we went back to where the biggest antagonistic force was eichi trying to break up trickstar. also anzu has been through so much shit, what the hell

[tired-fandom-ndn]

ok but adaine showing up in fallinel for oracle things with the court of stars and the one member she is related to notices a dragon courting gift she’s wearing [it’s one of oisin’s scales on a necklace with an abjuration rune on it which notifies oisin if she’s ever attacked while she’s out on her own]

and it’s not an engagement per se but so openly wearing a dragon’s scale is quite significant because it signals to the world that this person has a dragon devoted solely to them

so they send along word to the family and adaine is sucked into a family meeting of sorts with the family matriarch (grandma) and is given the run down on how to run the family once she’s gone and turned into stardust forever and she interrupts her saying “but im an adventurer-“

and before she can finish her sentence grandma goes “no one said oisin cant also help with running things. speaking of him tell him i want to see him.” and wont move in until adaine messages her paramour to teleport to the (soon to be theirs) cursed ass castle because grandma is requesting his presence

and then it’s them two having a very in depth tour of the castle and how to run things when the family is so large and spread out across the world

and at the end of the day adaine and oisin are laying in the room that has become theirs when visiting fallinel and are quite ready for a reality, but not quite yet, where they are the heads of a loving family that they will oversee in the long years they will spend together getting old and grey

[context]

The worst part is— The worst part is—

That Adaine STILL doesn't know which person on the Court is her cousin! Absolutely no idea! They're all just sitting there wearing those silly hooded robes and never looking directly at her! Her family has explained them to her, but all the Court members are so covered that she can't figure out which is her cousin!

And obviously it doesn't really matter, but it's the principal of the thing! She got fucking tattled on to grandma by someone who she's never even spoken to! The audacity!

If she's being honest with herself, it's her own fault. Adaine knew that she was risking the privacy from her family by showing up to Fallinel with Oisin's gift, but he just looked so wounded when she considered taking it off for the meeting and she was banking on this cousin being just as unaware of her as she is of them. Obviously not. How are they even in contact with the family when they never leave that damn room?? Do they have a crystal???

The letter from her grandma summoning her to the castle wasn't especially surprising, and I don't think Adaine would even be worried about it because why would she be? If it had been her parents, yes, it would've been awful for a lot of reasons, but her grandma is cool as hell and was literally married to a whole ass dragon once and isn't gonna freak out over one grandchild being in love with a dragonborn. And Adaine is right! Her grandma is super chill! Too chill. Oh god, she's happy.

Adaine finds herself in her grandma's greenhouse/gallery/tearoom under the skeleton of a dragon (it's Grandma Abernant's favorite room, where she reads books aloud to Valdraxia's skeleton and keeps her late wife up to date on the family gossip) and receiving an extremely long lecture about what it means to grow older and the responsibilities of running a family as large as theirs and how Adaine really doesn't need to give up her life or adventures as long as she has a supportive partner (or two or seven or forty, Grandma's been married A LOT). She even goes into a lot of detail about the difficulties of marrying non-elves and the differences in lifespan and how there's ways to get around that, wink wink, nudge nudge.

(What Grandma Abernant doesn't say, at least not out loud, is that she's tired. She loves her children and grandchildren like the moon loves the stars, and she doesn't look a day over 400, but she's lived for a very very long time and she feels every single one of her years even if you can't see them on her face. She misses her wife, the only one of her many marriages that really meant something, and has found herself pressing her lips to Valdraxia's skull and whispering about how they'll be together soon. She's waited so long for a child or grandchild to be ready to take her place, and now Adaine is here and Grandma Abernant knows she'll be able to rest.

How long has it been since she's been anyone other than Grandma? How long has it been since she was just Amarthriel?)

Grandma Abernant also talks a lot about housespouses (castlespouses?) and the long tradition of adventurers having spouses who can help manage the family and estate. Why, even Grandma was an adventurer back in the day, didn't anyone tell Adaine that? She asks a million and one questions about Oisin and basically tells Adaine that he would probably be right at home in the castle, with its giant library and treasure vaults and the many, many, many curses to break. Don't look at your grandma like that, Adaine, breaking curses is fun. It's a puzzle. All wizards love a good puzzle.

Fast forward 20 minutes and Oisin is there, in clothes he hastily threw on because it's like 3 in the morning and he had to teleport very suddenly, with absolutely no idea what's going on. Grandma has retired to. . . somewhere else in the castle, presumably, and he and Adaine are being given a tour by one of Grandma's daughters from a later marriage, an extremely bored and deadpan elf who does not seem at all bothered by being summoned to her mom's house out of nowhere to give a couple teenagers a tour.

They are shown the library (with cursed books), the treasury (with cursed gold), a few of the many treasure vaults (with cursed treasure), the armory (with cursed armor), the gardens (with cursed plants), one of several massive baths (with cursed water), the kitchens (with cursed food), the gallery (with cursed paintings), the nursery (with cursed toys), the dining room (with cursed dishes), the ballroom (with cursed instruments), one of the clothing vaults (with cursed gowns), the wine cellar (with cursed wine), the empty dungeons (with cursed spirits), the jewelry vault (with cursed jewels), the spellcrafting room (with cursed everything), and a variety of other weird rooms with a lot of curses. So many curses. Why are there so many curses?

When Oisin asks that, Adaine's aunt looks at him like he's an absolute fool and explains that the castle was a gift from Valdraxia and obviously everything needed to be the absolute best quality for her wife and that includes the curses. This. . . explains absolutely nothing to Oisin who is very sleep deprived and just does not get what's going on. Don't worry Oisin, no one else gets it either.

When they're finally shown to their room (they have to break a minor curse on the bed), Oisin is just kinda. Done with existing for a while. He has been bombarded with so much information and surprises (he apparently has the Abernant family matriarch's blessing?? probably???) and is running on like two hours of sleep but they both still lie together in the giant (and now curse-free) bed, staring up at the canopy embroidered with stars and just sorta. Trying to process everything. In the morning, he'll be hit with this reality, with the knowledge that this is the home he'll share with Adaine one day, a home that will be filled with their children and grandchildren. This is their future and he couldn't be more thrilled. At breakfast, they'll talk to Grandma Abernant and ask more questions and eventually get her to explain the extended lifespand thing (surprise surprise, it involves a cursed room in the castle), but that's for the morning.

In the moment, he and Adaine curl up in the bed together and just go to sleep.

[alizzadanika]

well, it's been a week since i went to see atta boy and i have officially processed it and i've decided not to gatekeep (most) of my experience LOL. because if i don't talk about it, i will explode!

*praying that they never see this so i can remain super mysterious when i eventually meet up with them again (🤞)*

before the concert started, i passed by the merch table and gave freddy and dashel a bag of these keychains i made for the band, their openers, etc.! freddy took one and was like "oh, these are going on my keys" and dashel laughed and was very pleased with the "the second tour ever tour 2024" tagline :) (iykyk)

opener was awesome (the wonderfool)!!! i haven't stopped listening to their most recent album since the concert. wish i had gotten to talk to them after the concert but i didn't wanna disturb them while they were clearing up their equipment. :) very chill folks, GO GIVE THEM A LISTEN!!

(i also wish i had caught aubrey to have a chat but i literally don't know where she went when i mustered up the courage to talk to any of them afterwards 😭)

at the end of the concert, i wanted to hang back for a bit since freddy said the whole band usually is at the merch table afterwards.

there was a line for the merch and then there was a small group of people waiting to talk to lewis (who was off to the side talking with a friend). i let my friend get her merch and i sipped on my bud light, standing around.

when it started getting really late and the line for the merch table was still pretty long, i was like "ah fuck it, i'll just say hi to lewis, then say hey to the rest of the gang after"

so i got into the line by the bar

while i was in line, there was a really sweet girl who came up to me and we were just chatting about the east coast and tattoos and she very much liked my hair (she called my bangs "fresh and pristine")! i don't remember what for but we high fived about something LOL. after a bit, her husband was trying to tell her that she had work in the morning but me and her were like "ahhh it's fine!" i wish i had gotten her name (IF YOU SEE THIS, HELLO!!!!! OR I MIGHTVE MESSAGED YOU ALREADY!!!!!)

when it got to me, i felt bad that she had work the following morning so i was telling her to go ahead of me. meanwhile lewis was just watching like 🧍‍♂️

she got her photo with him and they chatted for a bit, then left

i was gonna walk over to him but he walked over to me and we were both just like "hey! 👋😀"

we were chatting and i asked him to sign my bag, then this man put my sharpie in his mouth (which i didn't even realize until my friend told me about it later) and KNELT ON BOTH KNEES ON THE DIRTY FLOOR WITH HIS WHITE PANTS (i felt so bad because we were literally only a couple steps from the bar 😭😭😭)

he then proceeded to pull out his zyn can and put it in my bag so he had a flat surface to write on (which, again, we were right beside the bar LOL). i proceeded to laugh in his face about it (I COULDNT STOP MYSELF) and was like "oh my god the zyn-" and he also laughed and was like "hey gotta have something to get me going through the day!" my response being: "gotta do what you gotta do"

anyways.. (😭) got a couple photos with him after i told him my mom would beat my ass if i didn't (to which he replied "oh yeah for sure, gotta keep mom happy) and i told him about the keychains, which he was pretty pumped about! and we chat a bit more then my friend and i left

(IM KICKING MYSELF FOR NOT PROPERLY INTRODUCING MYSELF BECAUSE I WAS SO TIRED BUT IT'S OKAY I GUESS)

i went over to the merch table finally to get the others' signatures and freddy was like "what was your name again? wait don't tell me ... 'uh-lie-zuh'" (he also told me earlier he recognized my name from the band instagram) and i was like "so close! 'uh-lee-zuh'" and he went "damn!"

(he also asked me when i bought my atta boy tote and said he was the one that sent it to me out of his parents house, when i said i bought it last year 🙂‍↕️)

i asked to get a photo and he was like "yeah!" but then when i started to take a selfie, he was like "WAIT! ✋ we have to get a proper photo with all of us!"

freddy then wrangled up the rest of the band for me–even though dashel and lew were chatting with people and eden was starting to clear up 😭

then lewis saw me and i was like "🧍‍♀️im back" and he was like "hey! you're back! 😄"

LOL...........

and finally, to end this long storytime, here's me with the atta boy gang!

(sorry, dashel, for that first pic but i have to give a before and after because, after the first photo, eden said "wow, it's like we're giants" LMAOOOO)

dashel, freddy, and lewis said their goodbyes and thank yous and eden asked my friend what kind of camera she had and just chatted with us for a bit (she was also one of the four people who really liked my hair [specifically my bangs])!

i started to tell her about the keychains but she was like "OH WAIT, i saw these earlier!!!!" she was so so so sweet

great folks, great music, great experience! THE ATTABOY THIRD TOUR EVER TOUR WHEN????

okay, goodnight.

:)

[kyday]

Solace | Kate Bishop

Summary: It's one of those nights again where Kate disappears and doesn't come back until it's early morning. You have finally had enough. warnings: bad writing (sorry not sorry), few swear words. light angst with a happy ending. enjoy!! wordcount: 1200+ ------------------

Katiee 💘: hey love, i know you’re at work right now, but im just telling you that ill be busy the entire day. I have so much to do today so i might not be able to open my phone as often.

You: hi babyyy, its fine. i get it,  just make sure to text me once everything  is over, okay? love you.

Katiee 💘: of course, dont worry. love you too, mwuah! 9:23 am

It was 11:34 pm, the flickering lights of NYC fluttered outside your window, and the constant noise of cars passing by was nothing new. You had been up all night waiting for a reply from your girlfriend, Kate.

Her last reply was in the morning, after that— radio silence. Her silence was unnerving, although you had gotten used to her doing this, it never was this drastic. You kept opening your phone every time it turned on, expecting it was her message, but still; nothing.

You: babyy, are you free noww? if not, i hope you finish up soon. mwuah. 6:02 pm

You:

heyy, i know this is probably just one of your busy days but are you donee? lucky misses you already.  text me when you get this. 7:35 pm 

You:

kate, Im getting worried. you haven't been answering the entire day. is everything fine? please text me once you see this. 9:00 pm

You:

Kate??? Please tell me you’re okay. I'm worried sick. 9:58 pm

You anxiously paced around your bedroom, at the corner of the room Lucky was sleeping on his bed. He was planning on staying up with you but at 10 pm he accidentally fell asleep. You make your way to the dining room, leaving a light on— you’ll wait for Kate here.

You can feel your eyes slowly giving up, trying to keep yourself up— you try to rub your face to stay awake a bit more. 

This hasn’t been the first time Kate has done this. Ever since last year when she hit that large bell tower, she had changed. There were times you often pretended to not know when she had cuts or bruises— she was a bad liar. You can often see her limping or wincing every time she moves.

You never questioned her about it though. You didn't want to overwhelm her especially since her mother got sent to jail for murdering people. But ever since that— it seemed like she was burying herself in her work more and more. The cuts or bruises were more visible, you remember when she didn't come home for a day and she blamed it on her cousin who was in town and wanted some tour around NYC.

Right as you were about to fall asleep, you heard the sound of keys clattering and curses being mumbled as the person entered the front door. You recognized the voice to be Kate. “Fuck, fuck fuck.” 

She stopped in her tracks when she saw you standing in front of the couch. There was a moment of silence between you, “Where the hell have you been?” You questioned in disbelief. She puts down her bow on the nearest table, you watch her intently.

“The company had me go overtime since there were extra projects due. Look, I sorry-” 

She explains but you quickly cut her off. “Oh my god, then why the hell do you bring your fucking bow or why couldn't you even text me once? Do you think I'm stupid Kate?” She sighs, massaging her temple.

“Y/n, let's not do this right now.” She mumbles, giving you a tired look. “I'm tired, we can talk about this in the morning.” You shook your head immediately.

You stepped closer to her. “No, we are talking about this now. Because in the morning you’ll be gone even before I wake up. Goddamit, I'm not oblivious! I know that your work isn't from seven am to eleven fucking pm!” Kate is starting to become more irritated with you, trying to bite her tongue from saying anything.

“What the hell are you hiding from me? I was worried sick, I waited up until what? Eleve-” You look at the clock. 12:10 am. “Its fucking midnight!” Kate knows she deserves this, but she's tired, way too tired to fight right now.

“Who said you had to fucking wait for me?” She replies, stunning you.

You let out a sarcastic laugh, “Oh my god, maybe because I'm your girlfriend, Kate! Have you ever thought of that?”

As the tension in the room thickened, Kate's expression softened, and she let out a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to worry you," she said, her voice tinged with exhaustion. "I know I've been distant lately, and I haven't been completely honest with you."

You can feel your frustration, but you are also worried. “Then why, Kate? Why do you keep shutting me out? Why are you not telling me the truth?” Kate looks down in guilt, her superhero duties have been such a huge thing for her that she forgot her true priority, you.

“I haven't been honest with you..” She starts off.

“No shit Sherlock.” You mumble, earning a smile from her.

She coughs, “I know this may uh- this may seem unbelievable but I've been working with Hawkeye to bring this organization down.” She stopped to see your reaction, but your face was like stone. “And just— today we were so close to getting them but they got away.” Kate continues, her voice turning into a whisper at the end, you can hear the disappointment in her voice.

“But you didn't have to hide it from me, Kate.” You start, tears welled up in Kate’s eyes.

“I didn't want to make you worry, I'm so sorry.” She whispers.

You walk over to her and wipe her tears. “I'm always worrying about you, you know that. It doesn't matter how crazy your story is. Hell, if you told me you were fighting aliens, I would believe you. Because I trust you, Kate. And I need you to put that same trust in me.” You explain, hugging her.

You can feel her nod against your chest. “No more secrets, okay?” 

“Okay.” She mumbles, latching onto you.

You chuckle, “Come on, we can cuddle in bed.” She protests for a second, saying she wants to lie down on the floor. But you manage to convince her into going to the bedroom for cuddles.

She plops down on the mattress, and you follow behind her. “I'm sorry again, I won't do it again, love.” She looks up at your eyes, you smile at her. 

“It's okay now. Just go to bed, okay?” She nods, and she inches closer to you before pressing her lips onto yours. “Goodnight baby.”

“Goodnight love.” Kate mumbles tiredly, cuddling up to you. And for a moment, the loud cars outside quieted down, and the bright city lights weren't so bright anymore. 

Kate realized that she could only have this comfort with you.

[starjxsung]

hi bestie <3 how are you?

i finally got home on thursday night. i feel the same was about chicago tho. it was so so so pretty but so tiring. but i kinda wanna move there now bc i enjoyed it and it’s so different to what im used to here. my two extra days were super stressful but the weather was so nice and windy.

i’m so sorry that your flight was scary! i hate flying sm, mine had a lot of turbulence but i drink some ✨anxiety meds✨ and sleep through it all <3

it sucks so much that we couldn’t meet but fr skz was total insanity and im just glad to have survived it </3 lolla skz will live in my head rent free forever. skz being real was not in 2k24 bingo card and i also need tickets for their tour or i’ll cry. but the chicago trip was sooooo expensive for me bc i have no control and went to a kpop store and target and to museums and the aquarium 🙃 and my support system is the worst bc i was only going to buy the ate version and my bf was like “get i.n and changbin” and that’s how i ended up with i.n, changbin, han and felix (i have lino on the way too) and a maxed out credit card (: money comes back ig. and the worst part was literally that ateez performed in chicago this weekend and i didn’t even know like </333 i could’ve met teo sang my beloved if i had stayed for a few more days (delulu bc with what money?). my bf is all for ateez @ lolla ‘25 so we’ll see 🤞🏻

and the chappell crowd was insanely full (literally the biggest one in lolla history wtf) but not as crazy as skz tbh. i love her sm tho, she’s such a superstar. i’m so glad to have been able to see her too <3

and alas, my semester starts tomorrow (not ready at all, screaming & crying) so real world awaits and im so bedrotting rn bc why can’t i be beautiful and do ska’s makeup or something for a living </3

anyways ily angel, i hope all is so well. take care of yourself always!!

-🐈‍⬛

MY LOOOOOVE oh my gosh it’s been a minute since I’ve been on here properly!!! How are you!! How’s practicum!!!!! I was just talking about you earlier today bc my sister was complaining about her practicum and I offhandedly mentioned I knew someone else who was doing one and it just got me thinking about you and hoping everything was going well 🥹💓

Ugh the more time that passes, the more I miss Lolla 💔 it truly just felt so relaxing to be able to put everything behind me for a week and just be at a music festival and not have a care in the world except for skz. I totally feel you on wanting to move there too! I felt the exact same way after going to New York for the first time to see 3racha. It was just this gut feeling that I’m supposed to be here all the time and it felt so magical 😭 I can’t believe in a few weeks it’ll be a year since I saw 3racha in NY. Time passes by so quickly I hate it

GIRLLLL THE MONEYYY oh my god I was literally scared of how much money I spent after skz at lolla, I was fr buying so much kpop stuff when I came back and I’ve been collecting so many of Jisung’s pcs this era so I have to physically pry myself away from scrolling on Mercari 😭 I can’t help it he is just TOOOOO FINE…. Also not you just missing Ateez nooooo 💔💔 but now that you mention ateez at Lolla I can SO see that happening??? If they do headline and you get tickets we HAVEEE TO MEET 🤞👼 MANIFESTINGGGGG

I hope the semester’s been going well!!! I hope you haven’t been too stressed (although it seems like we’re all just going THRUUU IT 😭) I love you so so much and I’m sending you all the good vibes to make it through another semester. (Also side note Taemin & Onew new albums WHEWEEEEWKEKDKDKKD MY SHAWOL HEART IS SOOOO HAPPY)

[scarlettsandmaroons]

slow days are good to have <3

but yeah i wouldn’t describe my day as slow😭 i was in a rush the whole day and i was so tired but i promised to go with my friends and then i ended up drunk. fun

but yeah for the question of today:

IS YOUR WHOLE TIKTOK FULL OF THE ERAS TOUR CAUSE MINE IS😫

i swear to god i’ve seen the whole show from 10 different angles and i’m so jealous

and what do you think about the set list?

SORRY DEAREST, i forgot to reply to this. yes, we love slow days! but im also happy for you! getting drunk with friends after a rather rush-y day is such a great wind down.

for the question of the day, YES!!!!!!!! i keep trying to scroll past because i'll only feel jealous if i see it. i haven't opened tiktok since. i swear, taylor is such a great way to decrease my tiktok screentime.

BUT THE SET LIST, i'm speechless. i LOVE!!!!!!

[dwaeki]

— felix as ur bf (random headcanons)

pairing: felix x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none other than maybe some slip ups and just poorly written fluff, not proofread, lower case intended!!!

a/n: i'm just bored and need to post so i decided to make this at like 3AM 😩🤝🏻 genuinely dont knownwhat i was writing here but i went with the flow so 😞

ok lets completely disregard the fact that felix is my ult and i am absolutely whipped for him.

he doesn't sleep early at night especially if he had a bad day at practice or made a lot of mistakes while trying to memorize the choreography to one of their new songs,

so he usually stays up for a little while playing video games on his PC while you sleep over at the dorms.

you're most likely there sitting on his lap, sleeping peacefully while your boyfriend tries to restrain himself from raging and absolutely destroying his expensive keyboard </3

(p.s he has a keyboard that lights up. most likely rainbow cuz idk HE GIVES OFF THOSE VIBES.)

the first time you sat on his lap while he was playing games he just fell in love with that idea

the feeling of your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you rest your head in the crook of his neck is just :(( y/n ure making him feel so loved :((

he's just rlly comfortable and feels at peace.

also when he feels a bit too overwhelmed or just frustrated he stops the game for a little while and wraps his arms around you tightly while inhaling your scent :((

he feels better right away <33

but you dont know that bcuz ure ✨asleep✨

but if he's feeling particularly tired he just plays on his phone

while you're both in bed, cuddling <33

PLUSHIES !! you guys collect a bunch of plushies <3

he likes plushies a lot so if u like plushies too you guys are just a perfect duo. you two are always on a look out for stuffed animals,

felix keeps a bunch of cents in his pockets just in case u find something.

if one of u spots a claw machine outside while you're going out or during an arcade date you're going to drop whatever you were doing before and literally run, leap, fly towards its direction.

"Y/N A CLAW MACHINE !!!!" "OH MY GOD GOGOOGOGO RUN FELIX GO DONT LET THE KID GET THERE BEFORE WE DO"

you two are competitive as hell when it comes to winning a stuffed animal & believe me felix doesnt go easy on you

especially if youre a sour loser cuz he teases you a lot.

it starts off with u two being competitive but ends with the both of you basically throwing all of your money away just to get a single plushie.

one time u hogged the claw machine for a little too long and you didnt even notice the line of kids waiting for the two of u to finally leave for good.

yeah... ure banned from using the claw machine at one of the arcades ... 😬✋🏻

he also lays his head on your lap... a lot.

he just loves feeling close to you so if he's sleepy and wants cuddles he usually just lays his head on your thighs (no matter the shape or size cuz we love all kinds of thighs here, love <3) , grabs your hand and plays with ur fingers.

you already get the message so you're quick to get up and move to the bedroom to cuddle

but if you don't get the message then he starts pouting and sighing dramatically, waiting for u to take the hint

but if ure still not budging then he just lifts you up and quite literally throws you onto the bed so you two can cuddle

(one time u bounced off the bed and hurt your arm... felix almost cried...)

he grumbles a bunch of incoherent words while getting under the covers

squeezes the living soul out of you the second he's under the covers. like ure literally left soulless.

HE'S LITERALLY A HUMAN HEATER SO BEWARE WHEN U CUDDLE IN THE SUMMER !!!

felix doesnt rlly have a favorite position to cuddle in, he likes any and every.

he loves being the big spoon, he loves being the small spoon

but he also rlly loves cuddling face-to-face <33 or maybe ur head buried in his chest :((

loves placing kithes all over your face or pecking your lips during cuddle sessions.

yeah... he's a sucker for physical contact 😚😚

he's also SO whipped for you you don't even understand.

everyone around him can tell that he absolutely adores you and everything you do

one time jeongin mentioned how utterly in love he was and how "disgusting & painful" it was to watch you two interact 😔

and felix was low-key like HELL YEAH IM WHIPPED AND IM PROUD !!!

doesnt care if anyone points out how much he loves u & doesn't deny it either bcuz YEAH!! HE DOES INDEED LOVE U VERY MUCH!!! WHAT ABOUT IT!?!?!!

he also gives the best presents !

he just always knows what to buy anyone he's very close with and the list ofc includes you :D bcuz youre his lover mwuah <3

buys you the best birthday presents, anniversary presents, holiday presents.

it's because he's observant !!

especially when it comes to you. if you eye an expensive outfit that you can't really afford at the moment or there's a fancy restaurant you want to go to, he will keep it in the back of his mind and will take it into consideration ;))

there doesn't have to be a special occurance for felix to surprise you with a present !!

even if the present he's getting you is pretty expensive its still for u and he wants to make u feel as appreciated and as loved as he can. so wasting money on you is never a problem as long as you're happy :((

the fact that he is observant also comes in handy a lot, because he can tell when you're uncomfortable by the small changes in the way you act like the furrowing of your eyebrows or you shift even closer to him, etc.

if it's a public space or an event where you have to socialize and interact with others and he notices you feeling uncomfortable he will take you to a less crowded place to give u a bunch of kisses and reassure you that everything will be just fine <3

he also knows what you like and dislike very well, so it's easier to avoid any arguments in your relationship.

virtual dates !!

he takes you on a bunch of dates on minecraft, roblox, animal crossing etc.

the dates usually happen while he's away on a tour and you two really miss each other </3

the first time he went on a tour he just really really really missed you and your voice

so he called you on discord and suggested that you play minecraft together. you created a new world and just started everything from the scratch.

so every time felix goes on tour you guys call on discord, get on minecraft and add new things to your world <33

your world includes but is not limited to: a huge pink mansion with a pretty backyard filled with flowers, a dog named "seungmo" and a cat named "lino" (as felix suggested you named them ✋🏻)

he once told you that one day you two are gonna get married (if you're willing to ofc) and live a perfect life just like in your minecraft world :((

even tho it was over the top to assume that you two would live in a gigantic pink mansion, it was still endearing and it made your heart melt <3

he really wants to spend the rest of his life with you because he knows you're the one :(

[broadwayandnetflix]

OMG- BO FIC REQUEST

a fluffy fic where he takes you out to a fancy dinner. picks you up at your house & meets your parents, driving to the place, all that pizazz- and more if you decide to write! Im a big fucking sucker for the romantics as you can see LMFAO.

Meet The Parents - Bo Burnham x Reader

Warnings: Language

Theme: Fluff! Slight bit of Angst.

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: picture this as like his what tour cause it fits up with the college timeline hoes. also, I hope you like that I added an airport, cause rom-com shit amirite? I’ll stop. wooooooo this is so long. I hope y’all like essays cause fuck.

It had been too long since you had last seen your boyfriend, Bo. The two of you had met in college at NYU briefly before he dropped out to pursue his comedy career.

Of course, you have been supportive. Why wouldn’t you be? You just really missed him, especially when he went on long tours, you in school, and him touring the world.

The two of you kept in touch. Bo often taking the time to call you before or after a show to hear your voice and call himself down. You knew what they did to his anxiety, and not being able to hold each other was difficult for the both of you.

He’d do the same for you, without a shadow of a doubt. Especially when school was stressing you out, and exams and essays were becoming a pain in the ass to handle. Even if it was just little funny texts or messages, he helped you.

It’s what you did for each other. You were a team, even if it was states away from each other. Except, luckily for you, his tour was ending soon. Or it should be, judging by the tiny calendar of dates that he gave you.

It was nearing Thanksgiving Break, and it just didn’t seem applicable that you’d be able to meet up in time. Given the short week window and Bo riding down from nearly a year of touring.

So you didn’t say much, as you packed your bags for the week and left for your home state.

The airplane ride wasn’t that bad. You wished that you had Bo beside you, cracking jokes to calm the inevitable way that your heart would jolt when you went up in the air. Unlike Bo, you absolutely hated flying.

Earbuds in, you strolled into the airport a tad bit jet-lagged and went to grab a bite from a small coffee shop. Slipping the cashier a twenty, you walked the airport in search of your luggage.

Through a sea of people, you trudged, already feeling fatigued and just wanting a nap. You didn’t even realize that you were gonna run smack dab into someone. That is until their hand shot up and held you steady.

You laughed pathetically and cringed quickly, going to apologize, hoping that the person who caught you would just keep moving on. Except, they still stood in front of you, silent as ever.

“Hey man look I’m so sorry, I’m just so tired I didn’t even see where I was going.” you mumbled before realizing just who you were speaking to.

Bo.

You froze, staring at the man in pure confusion. How was he here when he was supposed to still be on tour? You rubbed your eyes, wondering if he’d still be there when you reopened them.

News flash, Bo was still there. Fuck.

“Holy shit,” you murmured, realizing your hands were still full with your bag, phone, and lunch.

God, you were gonna cry; this wasn’t happening. He looked so fucking good, the glasses, the hair.

He watched you quietly, a soft smile resting upon his lips. While you clumsily pull on his arm to get out of the ongoing traffic of people around you, preferably a spot with a place to put your stuff.

Your tall boyfriend lumbering after you unbeknownst to you, trying to compose himself. It had practically been months since he had seen you last, and you had never looked more beautiful.

Once you set them down gently, you practically ran into the man’s arms. His bags gently fall to the floor as his arms are securely wrapped around you. Nearly lifting you off the ground.

The two of you rocked gently in the embrace, completely lost in each other. Bo resting his head on top of yours, pressing soft kisses upon your head. Tears softly pour down your cheeks and onto his shirt. Giving him enough time to wipe them away and plant a soft kiss against your lips.

“Bo, what are you doing here? I thought you were still on tour.” you sniffled, still wrapped up in his arms.

“Managed to make things work, I wanted to see you. Or I was gonna try and surprise you at the gate, but you kinda…ran into me.” Bo smirked, looking down at you.

“Well you definitely surprised me, man I really missed you.” you said quietly.

“Honey, you don’t understand how long I’ve waited for this moment. I swear my agents are probably sick and tired of me talking about you.” he exclaimed, causing you to smile.

This long-distance was really starting to get to the two of you; of course, his tour was gonna be over soon. Except, especially two different states away from each other, it made your heart hurt.

Moments like these, you wanted to just pause the time and exist in them forever. It seemed like between the two of you, you were running out of time. Just how much time exactly?

It was almost as if he could sense the hesitation as he swept up his bags and yours in the process.

“Just realized, we’ve got places to be.” he chirped, and you eyed him curiously.

“Like where?” you said, grabbing your coffee and bag from the coffee shop.

“Patience is a virtue my dear.” he tuts and slips his hand between yours. “Now, where’s your luggage terminal?”

-

It was roughly a forty-minute drive from the airport to your place. Bo had rented a car for the next couple of days, so it was smooth sailing from that point on.

Bo behind the wheel, and you are sitting in the passenger trying to figure out what music to play.

It didn’t help that you were in the car with a comedian, as whatever song you picked, Bo would pretend to critique it. Only sending you into a fit of hysterics.

“Oh okay, well you pick the music then!” you cried, pretending to stare daggers at him.

“I’ve got something for you, it’s this brand new artist I found while on tour.” he grinned, looking over at you briefly before focusing back on the road.

“His name is….Bo Burnham I think? I could be wrong? He was good-“ he said nonchalantly before earning a quick swipe to his arm from you.

“God, you look cute when you’re angry. You’re missing out on that Bo Burnham guy, he’s got potential.” he said.

“I hate you.” you giggle before finding a more comfortable position in the car.

“Oh shit you know what I just realized?” Bo yelped, causing you to slightly jolt in your seat.

“What?”

“Isn’t this the first time I’m meeting your parents?” he asked, causing you to slightly stiffen in your seat.

Technically, yes. It wasn’t like your parents didn’t know, it’s more so that there was never really a good time for them to meet. You wondered what they’d think, dating someone who dropped out of college to pursue comedy.

Not that your parents were judgmental. They wanted you to be happy, as any parents would. You just were worried if they wouldn’t respect and love Bo as much as you did. It had been close to two years at this point; what else did you have to lose?

“You are right, oh dear god. I wonder how that’s gonna go, hopefully well, right?” you ask, more so to yourself than Bo.

“Oh please, I’m great with people’s parents. Plus, they raised you, I’m sure they are great people. Babe, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” he reassured before continuing on the route.

-

It wasn’t long before he pulled into your family driveway, pulling the car into park, quickly placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“You ready?” he says quietly, looking at you sweetly.

You eyed the front door before looking back and meeting his eyes, nodding, as he leaned in to give you a quick kiss.

God, you missed those.

“Here goes nothing.” you smirk before slipping out of the passenger side and gather your bags.

Bo now follows suit as you knock on the door, his taller frame towering over you. One hand pressed on the small of your back, holding you steady.

The front door opens with a swing, with your mother greeting you at the door. A firm grin upon her lips as she rushes out to hug you, your father appearing behind her.

“Oh I’m so glad you were able to come home! We missed you so much!” she exclaims, squeezing you tighter.

Before giving you a slight nudge and knowing look towards Bo, who had remained oblivious, while he shook hands with your father.

All of you gather inside your house, Bo taking control of the conversation when acceptable.

Sitting down at the kitchen table, your parents are engulfed in his stories and laughing at his jokes. All the while getting to know the man that you loved so much.

Bo was pretty much a natural when it came to impressing others, and you knew it wasn’t gonna be an issue with your parents.

The two of you answering almost any questions, Bo excitingly telling the story of how the two of you met.

-

“Oh I almost forgot, I need you to do me a favor.” Bo murmured when the two of you had a moment to be alone.

You looked up at him in confusion before he mentioned something about dressing up nice. A knowing look upon his lips before giving you a slight wink and walking off towards the guest room.

There you stood, gaping like a fish in wonderment at what he possibly could be planning. Slowly walking into your childhood bedroom, looking for anything that would meet his description of nice.

You settled for something that you wore to a formal gathering that still managed to fit you. Giving yourself a quick look in the mirror, you left your bedroom to find Bo standing there.

You had to hold back a gasp; the man looked rather handsome in a dress shirt and pants. His hair was nicely done, and his hand gestured out for you to take.

“Bo what is all this for?” you exclaim, as he only smirks and leads you towards the front door.

“Shut up, I’ve been wanting to take you out for months.” he says as he opens it and leads you towards his car.

The man practically doing the whole nine yards, all the while you looking at him in pure wonderment. Of course, the two of you had been on dates prior, but never like this.

You had to practically stop yourself from grinning as he suavely got into the driver’s side of the car., Giving a quick glance over at you unbeknownst to you, trying not to melt at how gorgeous you looked.

“Where are we going?” you ask as he starts the car slowly pulling out of the driveway.

“You ask a lot of questions my dear.” he says, keeping his eyes focused on the road.

“Oh shit is this my execution?” you smirk as he dramatically nods.

“Babe, how the hell did you find out? Who told you? Was it my manager? I knew she’d rat me out!” he exclaims.

“You know I had to be certain, you did make me dress up all nice and all.” you play along, grinning ear to ear.

“Oh well, I can’t give away the entire surprise so zip it with the questions sweetie.” he quips as he continues the drive.

-

It’s not long before he pulls into a fancy Italian restaurant, way out of your usual pay range. You could feel your stomach do somersaults, giving the man an incredulous look.

Bo simply grins as he gets out of the car, rushing over to open yours for you. Eyes wide, still staring at him like he was fucking insane. He shakes his head and carefully pulls you out of the car.

“Now no complaints. Or whatever you plan to do. I’m paying, I’ve been wanting to treat you like this for over a year now. I’m doing it, and I’m gonna enjoy doing it.” Bo huffs, all dignified.

You simply nod in disbelief before he slips his hand within yours. While he enters the restaurant, he mentions his reservations to the hostess, and they seat you at a table.

Once the butterflies subsided in your stomach, you took the attention of the man in front of you. Never had anyone done something like this for you. You were trying to not look like a genuine fool with the smile you wanted to express.

You knew he was the one for you, but the way that he had looked at you. The pure adoration in his eyes and how he had planned everything, you were practically melting.

“I love you.” you whisper, wondering if he could hear it.

He did.

Bo looked up from his menu, a blush now practically kissing his cheeks. He dimples, rising at the declaration before reaching across the table since he was large enough to kiss you gently.

He was quick enough as the waitress came over to take your order. That goofy lovesick grin still plastered across his face as he straightened up in his seat.

The two of you ordering whatever looked best on the menu, clinking glasses when they arrived and looking dreamily into each other’s eyes.

“Man, I missed you. Like I know I say it a lot, but I mean I did. Going on tour is….well it’s lonely. I know you’re still in school, but sweetie. When I’m done, you’ll be sick of me. I promise.” Bo said insistently.

“No I won’t, I’m sure it’s gonna be the other way around. I don’t know if I say it enough, but I really am proud of you. I am so proud to call you my boyfriend, to call you mine. I don’t mind waiting.” you say quietly.

“How did I get so lucky?” he paused, eyeing the plates of food that were coming your way.

“Thank NYU, they did all the work.” you joke, thanking the waitress before digging into the meals.

The food was excellent; it was incredibly worth the price. Even if it was steep, the dinner was lovely. Bo is cracking jokes and telling you his favorite fan encounters that have occurred since his tour began.

It was hard to believe that the man who was often so quiet and shy could be so loud and brave enough to yell at hecklers. Except you could believe it, you had obviously been to one of his shows.

It made your heart begin to flutter at the fact that he wasn’t afraid to be himself around you; it made you feel secure.

The way his stage presence dominated the scene, it was practically impossible to keep your eyes off of him. No matter the situation.

Even now, his eyes glimmer while he tells you whatever story he had dug up. This was his passion, and you reveled in it all.

The night went well as the two of you caught up, knowing it would be quite some time before he’d meet up with you again. As he too had Thanksgiving to celebrate with his family in Massachusetts.

You shared a nice dessert, and he left a rather hefty tip simply because he could. Bo never made it necessary to note that he had money, but you knew he was excited to spend it.

All the while, you spent the night in a dizzying smile. Not giving a shit whether anyone knew it or not, even in the parking lot. The two of you waltzing messily towards the car, giggling and sputtering like a bunch of fools.

He was your fool, and you were his, who knew how long you’d have with him for now. You were destined to make the most of it.

Even as the ride home dwindled and you knew he’d have to catch a flight soon. You weren’t surprised or shocked even; days with him tended to be like this.

As the two of you reached your front door, Bo carefully leaned down to a comfortable position and kissed you softly. Not desperately, just tenderly. As if by the time he’d kiss you again, you’d simply wouldn’t be there.

His lips grazing yours, hands pressed carefully against your cheeks. You reciprocating all the while leaning into him in a warm embrace.

When you finally pulled away to catch your breath, he gave you a look that you knew all too well.

“I’m not saying goodbye.” you whisper into his arms.

“I’ll be back soon don’t worry.” he murmurs into your embrace.

With one last kiss on the forehead, you watch as he walks back to his car. Judging by the way his schedule worked, you knew he’d be back sooner than he would in the past.

Yet, with the soft ‘I love you’ said between the two of you couldn’t help but shed a tear and just hope that the next time would last longer.

[blacktofade]

pls oh god of fics pls grant thee touch starved Shane and oblivious Ryan in shyan ship *bows down* (i sent one before and donno if u actually got it cuz it showed error so im sending in another try)

I didn’t get your other ask unfortunately, but this is an idea I’ve been wanting to write like 10k for, but I know I’ll never have the energy. So it’s a little ficlet instead.

CW: Includes post-kidnapping, malnutrition, and an embarrassing lack of touching for a touch-starved prompt.

*

Shane disappears on September 17th. Ryan only remembers because they’d been scheduled to shoot an episode of Weird and/or Wonderful World and he’d had to eventually make the uncomfortable call to the Los Angeles County Arboretum and Botanic Garden to cancel their tour and interview.

It had been funny at first with Shane’s habitual lateness. They’d all assumed he’d slept late, forgot what day it was, and completely blanked on the filming schedule.

It’s less funny a week later when a missing person’s report is filed and Shane’s parents fly out to stay with Scott while they wait for any kind of news.

Detective Flores finds him two states over, a month and a half later. There are six hostages in total, as part of some elaborate heist that’s foiled before it comes to fruition. Shane’s kept in hospital for almost a full week, treated for malnutrition and a few general injuries, the news passed to Ryan through Scott via a DM on Instagram.

For the first time since Shane’s disappearance, Ryan sleeps through the whole night.

On the Saturday following Shane’s return, Ryan wakes to a phone call at eight in the morning.

“Hello?” he answers, voice rough from sleep, brain barely online.

“I’m sorry,” Shane apologizes, but his voice alone is enough to wake up Ryan the rest of the way. It’s the first he’s heard from him. He’d been trying to give the family space and knew Shane would find him once he was ready. Apparently, now is that time. “Can you come pick me up?”

“Sure,” Ryan agrees instantly, shoving back the covers and getting out of bed. “Where are you?”

“My apartment,” Shane admits and Ryan pauses from where he’s trying to dig out a pair of clean pants. “I just need a break.”

“Sure,” Ryan repeats. “I’ll be there in twenty.”

It’s quiet on the other end of the line before, quietly, Shane says, “Thanks, Ryan.”

*

Shane’s waiting at the curb when Ryan pulls up.

Ryan unlocks the door and watches Shane fold himself into his seat, waiting a moment for Shane to settle before reaching over to set a hand on his knee, squeezing gently.

“Hey man,” he says gently. “Long time no see.”

Shane startles at the touch, but glances over, offering a small smile in return.

He looks different. His face is thinner, his cheekbones a little more prominent, and there’s a new scar on the right side of his forehead that disappears into his hairline.

“Hey,” Shane replies, buckling his seatbelt and giving Ryan a view of his right hand, which has two fingers splinted together. “Thanks for coming.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

Ryan stares at him incredulously and eventually Shane looks away, out the passenger side window.

“It’s just hard being surrounded by everyone right now,” he says, clearly talking about his family. “I need a break.”

Ryan checks over his shoulder and pulls back onto the road.

“Is my apartment okay? Or did you want to go somewhere else?”

“Your place is fine,” Shane tells him, and from the corner of his eye, Ryan sees him turn his head, staring as though Ryan won’t notice.

At the next red light, Ryan glances over. “How are you doing?”

Shane looks away, clearly caught. “Getting tired of people asking me that. It’s all anyone asks these days.”

“Guess they just want to know you’re okay.”

Shane glances back towards him. “Could be better,” he says bluntly and Ryan can’t help but let out a quiet huff of laughter.

“Yeah, no shit. But the hospital cleared you?”

“Yeah,” Shane sighs. “Apart from a few broken fingers and some weight loss, I’m okay.”

“I missed you,” Ryan admits. “It’s probably the longest I’ve gone without seeing you since we started at BuzzFeed.”

Shane frowns like he’s thinking and then the frown deepens. “Jesus, you might be right.”

Ryan laughs again. “Horrifying thought, huh?”

“Puts things in perspective.”

“Didn’t you miss me?” Ryan asks jokingly, but Shane doesn’t answer, just laughs quietly.

“It’s weird,” Shane says. “I was never alone, but it feels like I have to relearn how to be around people now.”

Ryan had read the news after Shane’s rescue. There had been five others saved alongside Shane, so he suspects they might be the reason Shane wasn’t alone.

Ryan shrugs gently. “Adjusting is hard, and I’m sure it’s even harder with your family refusing to let you out of their sights.”

Shane shakes his head. “You have no idea. I was in the shower for twenty minutes this morning and they started knocking on the door to see if I was still alive.”

“Rough,” Ryan laments. “Well, you’re welcome to chill at my place for as long as you need.”

“Can I move in?” Shane jokes, but Ryan just shrugs.

“If that’s what you want.”

It’s silent for a moment before Shane says, “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

Ryan offers him a smile. “Of course, dude. It’s what I’m here for.”

It’s quiet for the rest of the drive until Ryan pulls into his usual parking spot and glances over. “You good?

Shane nods and carefully unbuckles his seatbelt. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”

Ryan’s chest tightens watching Shane limp his way towards the front door, but he knows the last thing Shane needs is more helicoptering.

“Can I get you anything?” Ryan asks as he shuts the door behind them, watching Shane glance around as though he expects Ryan to have redecorated during his disappearance, but ultimately Shane shakes his head. “Okay, well, make yourself at home. You know the drill. I’m gonna go grab a drink.”

He knows Shane can find his own way to the living room, so he moves around him, heading in the direction of the kitchen instead.

“Ryan?” Shane questions and Ryan pauses, turning back.

“Yeah?”

Shane hesitates like he doesn’t know how to get the words out, but after a moment, he takes two steps closer and draws Ryan into a hug instead.

Ryan isn’t entirely expecting it. Shane’s not a touchy-feely guy, which means Ryan can probably count on one hand the amount of times they’ve hugged. But Shane folds around him so tightly that it startles the breath right out of him.

“I did miss you,” Shane mutters and Ryan lifts his hands to reciprocate, holding Shane as hard as he dares when everything feels so fragile.

“I was really worried,” Ryan admits. “I thought you’d been killed.”

He finds himself rubbing one hand along Shane’s spine, trying to soothe him as Shane tucks his face against his shoulder.

“You were gone for a long time,” Ryan continues.

He can feel the warmth of Shane’s breath through his shirt as he exhales shakily. “They broke my fingers when I tried to escape.”

Ryan holds him tighter, needing them both to understand that Shane’s safe again. Having the weight of Shane leaning against him is grounding in a way he never knew it could be. About a month into Shane’s disappearance, Ryan had gone through a mourning period, assuming he’d never see Shane again. He finds tears prickling his eyes as the relief hits him solidly in the chest.

“God, Shane,” he murmurs and he’s not sure who’s comforting who.

The warmth of Shane spreads through him, all the way down to his toes, like a cup of hot soup on a cold day. Except that Ryan never realized he was too cold until this moment. He feels alive and whole again, and he knows he can’t even begin to understand what Shane experienced. The fact that he can feel every ridge of Shane’s spine as his hand passes along it says enough.

When he finally starts feeling like Shane’s probably ready to let go, he loosens his arms and shifts, one foot lifting to take a step backwards.

“Just a little longer,” Shane requests and Ryan’s more than happy to comply, a noise of agreement escaping as he nods.

“I’ll stay here as long as you need,” Ryan tells him. “It’s just good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back,” Shane replies and tightens his grip again like he might never let go.

To be honest, Ryan’s okay with that. He holds on just as tightly and settles against Shane, finally feeling happy again for the first time in months.

[dansevilpianotea]

oh god the video

i am so relieved to see him back. he seemed genuinely like he had grown. healed. he seemed content. l genuinely feared i wouldn't see him back on youtube again. but he came back like a good metaphor that i can't think of rn because im very tired (thanks again dan for uploading shortly before my bedtime).

he was so passionate about something and then it got smashed in front of his eyes by the people he genuinely believed in. put all his hopes and dreams in. even his own earned savings. i cant even imagine what that must have been like. and he fell down. and then he woke up and told us that he's just gonna do what makes him happy. do whatever he wants.

he fell down and it's okay. it's normal to feel that way after such a shock. and then he slowly but surely arose and made a video. and in the end it wasn't all worthless because he realized that he can just do whatever he wants by his own standard. and that is so relatable and inspiring.

i know i shouldn't phrase it like this (parasocial relationship bla bla) but i genuinely am proud of dan. i am in awe with the way he presented himself in that video. so content and like he finally understood. im so proud.

keep up the good work. cant wait to see you on tour (please come to more than one town in scotland ). and even if it takes you a month, a year or longer to return to youtube (which he said it wont but let's pretend for dramatic effect) i (and im sure we all) will be here and welcome you with open arms.

thank you dan ❤️

ps. don't do that ever again

[littlemisslipbalm]

harry and reader have a pet, but they break up and pet finds reader’s old shirt

Anon request - harry and reader had a pet together, but broke up. The dog finds one of y/n’s forgotten shirts and brings it to Harry (full request here)

This is FLUFF but also ANGST (i guess) oh my god WHAT DID I DO! i am so sorry, but i did a bad thing with this request, the ending is...well it’s kinda happy. i love happy stories but for some reason when i got down a hole, i just keep digging it deeper - i hope i sorta gave you what you wanted tho anon  

Listening: “I Will” and “And I Love Her” by the Beatles

Warnings: break up angst, mentions of dog death (im truly so sorry what is wrong with me - i promise it’s still kinda happy)

--

Harry and you had been broken up for about a month now. You two loved each other very much, but you had reached a breaking point. You weren’t a fan of show business and held a regular job. Harry’s constant travel, touring, and press - everything that came with his fame from his passion - became too much for you. One night, after Harry had missed a date you had made weeks prior due to an interview taking longer than expected, the two of you had it out. By the end of the entire fight, both you and Harry were crying.

The worst part of the break up besides you moving out was that you and Harry had a big old English sheep dog together. Harry loved Paul McCartney and insisted you and him adopt a dog of the same breed as Paul’s dog, Martha. You and he had named yours George to keep with the Beatles theme. When you broke up and moved out, Harry and you had a long conversation about who should keep the dog. Despite Harry’s busy schedule, he pleaded to keep George and eventually you relented, not having the heart to take George away from Harry when you were already leaving him, much to his dismay.  

Harry sat at the little coffee table in his now half empty home. It was far quieter now, since you had left he didn’t bother playing music really. He loved to find new music and show it to you when you were home together, playing it by himself wasn’t as fun. He heard George padding around the house as he reminisced on how you used to rub George’s belly till you were a giggling mess at how cute he was. Harry smiled sadly at the memory. He’s brought out of his reverie when he feels a wet nose nudging his hand resting on his thigh. He looks down to see George at his side with something creamy and linen looking in his mouth.

“Whatcha got there, Bud?” Harry says, first brushing George’s hair out of his eyes and then reaching to take the piece of clothing he had gathered from the dog’s mouth. George let go easily, obviously intending to show Harry it. It was one of your t-shirts. Harry looked at George and gave him another loving pet, he missed you just as much as Harry did. You must have forgotten it when you had rushed out all those days ago. He loved this shirt of yours, a sweet simple cream top with a lemon and an orange on it. It looked gorgeous on you, and Harry was so happy to see it, the only thing that remained of you in this home you once had shared. As much as he wanted to keep it, cherish it and use it to reminisce the times when you ran around your home together in the top, he knew you would be missing it dearly. He knew the right thing was to return it to you. The best thing would be to have a mutual friend return it to you for him, but Harry didn’t care about doing the best thing. He wanted to see you.

He texted a simple, “I have something of yours, are you home?” to you. He felt strange using the word home, when he knew that your home should be with him. When you responded a quick ‘yes’ he grabbed a coat, his keys, slipped on his shoes, and put George on a leash. “Wanna go for a little ride, Georgie?” Harry asked sweetly to the dog. George only wagged his tail in response. The two headed out the door to where you now lived.

-

Harry and George arrived at your new apartment a little ways further into the city, closer to your job, and Harry rang the bell when he reached your door. You sighed at the sound, not ready to face Harry since you had moved out. When he had texted that he was coming over you tried to tidy yourself up. As much as you hated to admit it, you missed Harry so much and you missed the life the two of you had made together even if it was far from perfect.

You opened the door to not only Harry, but your former joint pet, George. When George saw you he jumped up and began to lick kisses onto your face. Your grimace had quickly transformed into an overjoyed grin, open with laughter and slight disgust. “Down, Georgie!” you attempted to say while the dog loved on you. When you managed him down, you bent down to his level and gave him a good face rub and kissed his nose. Then, you turned your eyes to Harry, who had watched you with a sparkle in his eye. Your grin turned to a soft, sad smile. You exchanged somber ‘Hi’s and you let him come inside, against your best judgement.

“George, here, he found your shirt somewhere, brought it to me. Thought you’d want it back…” Harry trailed off once the two of you had sat down on your couch and let George off his leash to roam the place. “Thank you…” you didn’t know what else to say, but the air around you and Harry was painfully tense. “Y/N, listen, I miss you so much and I know it’s not fair for me to say this because you had your reasons, but, would you ever give us another chance? I won’t be this busy for the rest of my life...and, and I still love you, I don’t think there’s anyone else for me out there.”

You were speechless, watching Harry look at you so earnestly, being so vulnerable despite him knowing that things might not change. His jaw was clenched, but he stared straight at you, his large hands soft and open in his lap as he faced you. You noticed how he was rather unshaved and how his shoulders were slumped in more than usual. He looked rough, probably just about how you looked right now as well. You didn’t know what to do, saying that didn’t change how you felt.

“I don’t know, H, uh Harry,” you stuttered with your use of your old nickname for him. “I don’t want you to wait forever on me and I can’t wait on you forever either. I never stopped loving you and I probably never will, but we can’t go on living these sad, lonely lives - miserable because we didn’t work out.” You looked him in the eye now, pleading with your eyes for him to understand what you meant. You wanted him to know that you loved him, you really did, but with where the two of you were in your lives - it wasn’t going to work out.

Harry nodded, somber and sad. He knew you were right, that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. He got up after telling you he understood. You walked him and George to the door, giving George one last belly rub at the door. Just as you were about to shut the door, Harry turned with some final words, “You don’t have to wait for the right timing for us, but it’s my choice if I want to wait for that time. So, I will. I’ll wait for you, Y/N, and our right time.”

--

Eight years later

Y/N hadn’t seen Harry in a long time, maybe a few times at mutual friend events, but you were never able to be friends with him, it was too hard. You kept your love for him close to your heart, but you had had relationships since then. None had ever compared to yours and Harry’s, no matter how many lonely nights you had during your two’s relationship, no one else ever came close to that spark, that magic you two shared. You had seen and heard from friends that Harry had dated around in the past eight years as well. Various women of high celebrity status. Everyone of them perfect in their own way, but everyone of them always disappeared from Harry’s life after awhile. No matter who they were, Harry always saw something in them that reminded him of you at first, that’s what got him interested, but then when he realized they were their own person, he had trouble staying committed, being attentive. Whatever they needed from him as a partner, he couldn’t give it to them. Maybe Harry got tired of them, maybe they had real problems, or maybe they simply weren’t you.

-

Then, one night, you heard a heavy knock on your door. It was not too late, but you weren’t expecting anyone so you cautiously went to check what they wanted. You couldn’t suppress the look of shock on your face when you saw Harry standing before you. He was a mess, his clothes and hair were disheveled, his cheeks were painted with tears and his entire face was red. “It’s George...darling, our boy, he-he’s dying. I took him in for his 13 year old check up and they said his heart’s not working the way it used to,” he choked out.

All you could say was ‘Oh my God’ and quickly wrapped your arms around Harry’s shaking mess of a body. The fact that he called George ‘our boy’ when you hadn’t lived with them in eight years fluttered your heart, but had to be pushed to the back of your brain right then. He usually loomed large above you, but now he practically had to rise up to meet your shoulder. “Said we should put him down soon, so that he doesn’t have to suffer anymore,” he continued to ramble into your shoulder through his sobs. His emotions spilled over into you as you guided the pair of you to your couch, far more worn in since the last time Harry had been here. Tears welled into your own eyes thinking about the five years you had spent with Harry and George, raising him from a puppy with Harry. It had been so hard to leave him with Harry and almost never see him, Harry always offered to bring George around, but it was too hard for both of you. It was best that you let George live with Harry and Harry only.

“We’ll figure this out, H,” you whispered as you rubbed Harry’s back. “Where’s George right now?” you asked staying quiet as you tried to comfort Harry as much as possible. He looked up from your shoulder, his tears leaving a wet spot on your t-shirt. The tear tracks on his cheeks only growing more prominent the longer he sat before you. “‘S in the car, couldn’t leave him home alone, but I didn’t want to bring him up in case you didn’t answer.” “Alright,” you nodded, “You wanna go get him, together, and bring him up here? You two can stay here tonight, don’t think any of us should be alone right now.” You tried to smile through the pain, it probably came off as more of a grimace, but Harry’s eyes were so blurred he probably couldn’t tell. He whispered his thanks and the two of you journey out to his car, where George sat. Despite what the doctors had told Harry, George seemed just as happy as he always was, maybe just a little more docile.

“Can’t jump anymore,” Harry mumbled as the three of you walked back into your apartment. “It’s okay, H, I’ll make him a makeshift doggy bed out of extra blankets, feel right at home,” you reassured Harry and then went to the kitchen to put on a pot of tea. This was going to be a long night. You got the kettle situated and then went into a back room for your extra bedding you usually used for guests staying on your couch. Harry helped you to set up George’s bed in your bedroom. It was a silent understanding, since you were using the guest sheets for George, that meant Harry either had to sleep without anything on the couch or in your bed. Since George was going to be in your room, you figured Harry would opt for the real bed.

The kettle whistled and you left Harry to finish making the dog bed. His tears had dried, but he hadn’t spoke much except to answer your questions. The night went on, you drank your tea, cried some more, cuddled with George, and then got ready for bed. “You can sleep in my bed, it’s fine, H,” you said immediately when you saw Harry look questioningly at the uninviting couch. For the first time that night, he gave you a small smile and headed to your backroom. George padded behind him, ever the diligent mate. After closing up your apartment, you followed the other two into your bedroom.

Harry sat slightly stiffly on your bed and George panted happily at you from his big sheet bed on the floor. It felt like old times, yet also completely new at the same time. You climbed onto your side of the bed, Harry still remembering which side you preferred even after eight years. You handed him a glass of water and placed your own on the side table, “Crying...takes a lot out of you. We’ve got a big day ahead of us, gotta take George out to his favorite places tomorrow. Drink up.” Again you witnessed Harry’s soft smile grace his perfect, yet sad face. Your strong facade you had tried to keep up all night for Harry was slipping away the sleepier you got. A single tear started to run down your face and Harry noticed. “Hey,” he said and instinctively scooted closer to you, wrapping his bare arms around your soft shoulders. “S’okay, Darling,” he cooed into your hair. You softly weeped in his arms feeling so confused right now. However, a sense of safety also settled over you with the familiarity of Harry’s sweet nothings in you ear and his strong arms cradling you close to his warm chest.

-

The next morning, you and Harry got ready and took George out to his favorite places, a gourmet dog biscuit shop, the dog wash place, and a little park by the river you and Harry both lived near. It was a beautiful day out. Sun shined and George had so much fun. Harry and you talked about your lives now. Harry’s career had begun to wind down, he’d chosen to stop touring for at least five years a couple months ago. He still wrote music, but he was doing other things and also was trying to live a more peaceful life. You had switched your job a couple years back and had moved up faster at this new one. You worked much less, but were paid more - meaning you had more free time and you didn’t have to worry about money. It seemed both your’s and Harry’s lives had slowed down and gotten to places where you were ready for a relationship as serious as the one you previously had together.

When you two had arrived at the park in the afternoon, you had realized no one had stopped and asked for a picture with Harry all day. Maybe the stars were aligning, albeit in a slightly tragic way. As you sat next to Harry and lovingly watched George prance among the tall grass near the river, you watched Harry’s hand creep itself onto yours. You turned your palm and intertwined your fingers. Then you looked up and met Harry’s gaze immediately. You both smiled, knowing a secret no one else need to know. A love like yours could never go away. It hadn’t left either of you over the past eight years. Even after being parted for so long and having minimal contact over those years, the two of you so easily picked up in a better place than you were when you were in the prime of your first time together. You had both grown so much and your lives had changed. It had come. As Harry had said eight years ago, you just had to wait for “Our time.”

[queer-and-colorful]

Anamoduke Sk8ter boi au ramblings

Slight trigger warning for lowkey homophobia and maternal abandonment but it's like 2 sentences

Ok so it's highschool, Patton is very closeted, very conservative family and is in love with Remus, Remus likes him back tries to swoon him.

Patton keeps telling him no but like in a playful way.

Then on the day patton is finally like "im going to say yes and confess my feelings", his parents tell him they found him a nice girl from a good family and like it's clear he has no choice in the matter.

He's devastated and shuts Remus down for real, the girl happens to be with him when he doesn't and sayssome mean thing and patton is too spineless too stick up for Remus.

Like a week later in the lunch room patton is walking by with the girl on his arm sad and tired and he looks over to see Remus with his arm around Virgil. They lock eyes and Remus glares at him.

This does not help pattons sad

It's been 5 years since the last thing.

The girl has accidentally gotten pregnant after graduation, didn't want the kid. Patton did. So she left the baby with him and ran off somewhere.

Patton came out to his parents after she left, it didn't go well, they haven't spoken since.

In present times the baby is Remy and he is 3. So Patton's taking care of baby remy when he sees an ad for concert and Remus is on the poster.

He panics and buys a ticket for the show and meet and great afterwards. Immediately regrets it but he can't get a refund so he might as well go.

He gets all dressed up, but like dad dressed up, gets his babysitter (im thinking teenage elliot) and goes to the concert.

Patton is nervous as all hell. And that's multiplied by hundreds when halfway through the set remus locks eyes with him.

And patton can't help but think how beautiful he is and he's transported back to highschool when he was still working up the courage to tell remus yes. But that daydream is quickly shut down as the band bundles together in a little meeting.

Remus announces they're going to perform a brand new song for the first time.

Then like they hang out some, Virgil doesn't like patton at first,

They play Skater boy, Virgil is the lead. Remus and virgil are being very affectionate on stage, they kiss after the song, patton is crushed but not surprised.

Patton waits to be the very last person to have theyre meet and greet. Virgil and Remus are immediately hostile. Patton understand why.  Its kinda goes like "you guys had a great show tonighy it was very nifty."

"Thanks for the money what do you want, [slightly insulting nickname here]?"

Patton explains that he just wanted to come and apologize for high school and tell them he was really happy for them and wished that if the circumstances had been different back then they could have been friends

Remus says something along the lines of "dont you have a wife and 2.5 kids to get home to?"

Patton laughs sadly and goes "only one kid, no wife. Your were close though."

Re and vi are confused and shocked. Patton says its a long story and not suitable for now but they were right and he needed to get back to his baby.

Remus stops him as he goes to leave, gives patton his number like ", this is our last show of the tour then we go on break. "Maybe if's you were serious back there and really less of a prick than you were in highschool we can try to hang out"

one time eliiot gets sick so patton is forced to bring remy on one of their hang out sessions where they finally learn pattons side of everything and patton says somthing like "even though i feel guilty about it, i dont think id do anything different given the chance cause it all led to me getting him. And hes my whole world."

Queue remus and virgil suddenly being very gay for patton cause holy shit that was cute.

Maybe some tension in the middle where patton tries to start dating again but he can't find a guy that's willing to date a 22 year old with a kid so dates don't last long after that.

Maybe some paparazzi angst in there.

And he starts getting really gay for remus and virgil cause of how good they are with remy

Obvs ends with all of them getting together in the end

Misc details

-remy has so many little punk clothes cause remus and virgil keep giving them as gifts

-patton is a waiter and they live in a small one bedroom apartment

-they dont have a lot but patton is doing his best to take care of his son

-connected to the last one the reason he was able to afford the concent is partially cause re and vi try to make tickets as accessible as possible and partially cause pattons coworker gave him some money like "dude please for the love of god do something nice to yourself for once.

-little remy loves to head bop to re and vis music

-logan and janus are part of the band

- they also love little remy

-emile is virgils little brother who is around elliots age

Asfhsfgsaf if anyone wants to write this theyre free to just please tag me!

[tarantulas4davey]

HELLO BESTIE I am currently having Ralbert Brainrot and you're the best person go come to for this, obviously,, so PLEASE share! I would like to hear about ufc albert or youtuber race, or dancing partners!! I love them smm

HI YES HELLO USING THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO WRITE UFC FIGHTER AL PART 2 THANKS BABES

i just witnessed a literal crime and i’m Feeling The Rage (boxing judges at mma events can catch these hands) so here is. my brain on anger.

also the first half of this is pretty fight-talk heavy but the second half is more al/ralbert central so message me/send me an ask if i don’t explain something well enough <3

here is the ask i sent to @we-are-inevitable (thanks jac i’m in love with you mwah) and here is part 1 for this au if you haven’t read that one yet !!

also,,,,, this is fairly obvious. but trigger warning for violence/physical fighting, as well as blood. (it’s a rough gig y’all fjdhdb) oh and swearing but that’s pretty much just me LMAO

here i am, bein mad and writing ralbert. therapy time with chandler ig

OK SO

this is after his debut. duh. continuation

i think he’s probably 5 fights in with 5 wins. he’s been running people through, especially with four full camps after a short notice start, and he’s never even seen a decision in the ufc

let’s just say the hype train is moving FAST and it’s moving LOUD

everyone has to have those people that watch their fights just to see them lose, on top of the majority male fan base that have to have a little bit of toxic masculinity and homophobia in there

so there’s A LOT of people that are waiting for him and his hype train to get derailed. but there’s also a fair amount of fans, so you win some you lose some (the way i would die to see this be a real fighter pls)

now albert’s not always the most confident guy, and he’s never been cocky, but none of this shit gets to him. he’s got his coaches, he’s got his friends and he’s got race behind him. he knows he’s got the skills, and he’s got his support system, so who gives a shit what a bunch of cowards on the internet have to say?

and then they put him against someone known for his grappling and stamina. and the “it’s a wrap for dasilva!” bandwagon starts. it happens every time a rising striker and early knockout artist fights a well known grappler with any semblance of later round power (even if al has a background in wrestling and has gone 5 rounds and won outside of the ufc. it’s a bandwagon for a reason)

and it’s not Upsetting, it’s not really getting into his head in any way that’ll make him do worse, but it’s kinda pissing him off. which is bad for his opponent

the last person on earth you want to be fighting is an annoyed albert dasilva who thinks he has something to prove

he works his ass off in camp, and the press tour is a self-assured albert vs. a loudmouth who thinks he’s hot shit cause a few people on twitter think he’ll sweep

and, to be completely honest? it’s starting to look that way 2 rounds in.

it’s a 5 round fight, co-main event on a big card, and so far all al’s opponent has done is pinned him to the cage and kept him there. a few strikes worth anything - at least enough make al’s cheek bleed, no takedowns, which would at least give him some activity, and so submission attempts, so he can’t even gain any ground that way. he’s just- Stuck. and if THIS is how he loses, he’s gonna be pissed

the bell for the second round sounds, and you can actually see al’s chest heaving on camera as he walks to his corner - not because he’s tired or out of breath, but because he’s MAD, and fuck if he’s not going to do something about it

not only that, but he can not only see race and jack standing up by the cage - plus race’s expression, which is slightly annoyed and super anxious, which hurts his chest to think about - but he can hear them too

jack is yelling profanities, as per usual. he doesn’t that regardless of how the fight is going, but it’s less encouraging when you’re the one losing.

race though,,,, race isn’t really yelling, he’s more talking to himself than anything, but he’s close enough to cage and al knows him well enough to figure out what he’s saying. and if the muttered almost-prayers while he paces back and forth weren’t enough, the shiny gold engagement ring on race’s hand definitely is

round 3,,,, let’s just say it goes a little differently than the first 2 had gone.

he opens with a spinning back kick, of all fucking things, and that truly sets the pace

he’s the taller guy by a few inches, like usual, which makes his arms longer. the only reason crushing his against the cage worked is cause the guy he’s fighting cuts weight like a wrestler, so he’s easily got 20 pounds on albert come fight night

but once he finds his rhythm and starts throwing, he starts connecting too. he manages to stay out of range of his opponent and stay his comfortable distance to start t-ing off

this isn’t a one punch power ending. this isn’t a beautiful head kick, or a giant knee, or even just a clean right hook.

this is albert, who’s arms are starting to feel the 3rd round a little bit, hitting this guy with everything he has cause he refuses to lose this fight.

i mean- everyone watched him get up at the start of the round with a set jaw and a scary determined glint in his eye. he’s not a person you fuck with, and he’s definitely not a person you publicly ridicule before being locked in a cage to fight with

the guy he’s fighting is absolutely battered, but he manages to survive until round 4. the first of the championship rounds, something al’s never seen in a ufc fight before, and it feels like the arena is holding its breath

so when al comes out and does the same thing as round 3 to better results - fight ending results - everyone’s a little shocked, honestly

the commentary team’s in disbelief, cause albert is NOT a slow starter, regardless of what this fight would tell you, and the fact he managed a win at all, let alone such a phenomenal one, is fucking astounding

he gets his hand raised, obviously, but the really interesting part is the post fight interview

“albert, man, what changed between round 2 and 3? what second gear did you find?”

“bro, i just— it was pissing me off, honestly. i don’t come in here to get pinned down for 25 minutes. and, y’know, my team gave me good advice. i had all the pieces, straight from the jump, someone just had to force me to put them in place…”

and then he looks over at race, who gives al one of those half grin, half smirks and winks at him, and al just chuckles to himself and finishes answering the question

“the thing that really forced my hand is race. i won’t get cheesy on you, but watching someone who loves and supports you through everything panic cause he’s scared for you - it’s a big motivator. everyone would figure out a lot more of my motivations if they went and watched race’s expressions back instead of whatever the hell i’m doing in here. he’s always been the brains, i’m just the brawn.”

and that’s a better answer than anyone was expecting, plus he’s just had the fight of a lifetime that’s probably earned him a title shot, so he’s done soon after that and gets to have his little in-cage celebration

he hugs his team and jack, who razzes him a little bit as per usual, and makes some dumb quip about going over tapes later like he’s a coach. and then comes race

he hugs him, all tender and cute and also very sweaty cause That’s How It Works, and the camera’s focused on him, so they can tell they’re whispering back and forth. but there’s no mics on them, so what’s said is missed entirely on the audience, but it’s their usual cheesy, in love mess

“congrats, baby. i’m proud of you.”

“oh please. it was 90% you anyway. i meant what i said, it wasn’t just for the cameras.”

“i know that. i’m gonna have to get you back somehow for telling everyone to go back and watch my awful anxious expression. i’ll think of something.”

“i’m sure you will, sweetheart.”

and then al does that awful, adorable lil nose bump thing, and then kisses race. and then jack covers his eyes and whines until they stop like the actual 12 year old boy he is inside

and then they leave the octagon, race and al holding hands, and al throws his arm over jack’s shoulder and shoves his head down and pushes him, cause even though he was just in a literal cage match he’s still a roughhousing teenager at heart

and he’s got interviews and press shit that separates him from his people, and he’s gotta slide that bulletproof mask back down over all the happy and in love shit he’s feeling so he can not smile like an idiot on camera constantly

but every once in awhile he’ll catch jack giving him the finger and laugh before returning it below view of the camera

or he’ll catch race’s eye from where he’s standing behind all the studio lights and do a little wave under the camera and return the wink from earlier, and the unbothered fighter facade will crack a little bit

but he’s not completely convinced that’s such a bad thing

GOD THIS POST IS SO MUCH LONGER THEN I MEANT IT TO BE IM SORRY

but Yeah. Them.

i love this au a helleva lot more than i should but that’s Fine cause i’ve got thoughts for days on it

[emilywaters]

2021 Pride Month Oneshots - Day 2

30 Queer Oneshots in honour of pride month

Day 2 - Theyna

Ao3 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/31699466

Wattpad - https://www.wattpad.com/story/272023303-2021-pride-month-oneshots

Summary - Reyna is sick. There is a pride parade. Thalia is a bad cook. Thalia makes hot chocolate.

this is very low quality I wrote this at 2am sue me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Which fucking god decided that today was the perfect day to make me sick? I have gone through a war without getting sick, but now I'm stuck in bed for the most important event of the year because of the flu?!"

Thalia smiled, listening to her girlfriend rant. After the second giant war, both camps got together every year and hosted a pride event on June second. Demigods from all over the world came to the event, and some of the gods attended too. Unfortunately, this year Reyna got a bad cold the day before. She had been determined to go anyways, but the cold worsened, making her too weak to get out of bed, much less go to the festival. Reyna told Thalia to go without her, but she firmly declined.

Thalia poured her girlfriend a cup of tea and returned to the bedroom. Reyna was lying in bed, exhausted from her rant. It was rare to see the praetor so vulnerable. Reyna usually put up a strong front, an unmovable wall of confidence and determination. But now, she looked strangely defenceless, curled up into a ball shivering from the fever.

Thalia sat down on the edge of the bed, brushing the hair off the brunette's eyes. Reyna mustered a smile, sitting up to drink the tea. They sat in a comfortable silence until Reyna spoke.

"I'm sorry you have to stay with me today, instead of going to Camp Half-blood," She said, her voice rough from sleep and sickness. "You really should go. I'll be fine."

Thalia frowned, "I'm not going, and you don't have to be sorry." She brushed her finger over Reyna's cheek, "I'm your girlfriend. I want to spend time with you, even when you're a sniffling, shivering blanket cocoon."

"It's a burrito, not a cocoon," Reyna corrected, giggling.

"You've been spending too much time with Nico." Thalia snapped her fingers, "Oh right. He asked me to send an IM when you felt better so we could see the festival."

Reyna buried herself deeper into the duvet, "Go ahead. I want to see if Camp Jupiter won the decoration contest again this year."

Thalia rolled her eyes, creating a mist cloud and fishing around for a drachma. "We have Nico and Will. They are living rainbows. There's no way Camp Halfblood is losing."

Reyna stuck out her tongue, "Keep dreaming, babe."

"Do you deny that Nico is an absolute gay icon?"

"Of course not. I'm just saying that Camp Jupiter is going to win the float decoration contest."

They continued their friendly squabbling as the IM connected. A misty image of Nico and Will making out formed in front of the bed.

"Eww, get a room, you two," Thalia grimaced.

"It's your fault for IMing me," Nico argued, his cheeks red in embarrassment.

"Hey, Will," Reyna greeted the blonde.

"Hey, Reyna. How are you feeling?" The blonde smiled happily, putting his arm around his boyfriend, who was yelling something in Italian at his cousin.

Both boys wear decked in pride colours, the only time Reyna saw Nico wear any colour other than black. They had rainbow flags hanging from their shoulder as capes. Reyna could see other demigods strolling around in the background, laughing and chattering excitedly.

Nico finally seemed to notice Reyna, "Hey Reyna." His eyes sparked, "Before you ask, according to the leaderboard, Camp Halfblood is in the lead for the competition."

Reyna groaned as Thalia whooped. At the pride festival every year, the demigods voted best-decorated float. Neither camp had managed a running streak. Reyna had hoped that this year Camp Jupiter would win, earning them a two-year streak. But seeing how things are going now, she was sure Camp Halfblood would win.

Nico toured them through the festival, excitedly pointing out the parts that had been Will's ideas. At one point, they saw Leo run off in the direction of the lake, screaming, "RAINBOW FLAMETHOWERS MOTHERFUCKER." Not long after, an annoyed Calypso approached them requesting the location of a particular burnt chicken nugget.

Thalia noticed Reyna trying to yawn discreetly. The sick praetor was probably tired, so they said goodbye and cut the connection.

Reyna flopped backwards with a happy sigh, "I'm suddenly craving those rainbow crepes they had last year." Thalia immediately got up. "Thals don't you dare!" Reyna grabbed her girlfriend's hand and pulled her back. "Last time you tried to cook, you caused a blackout in New Rome."

Thalia pouted, "It was one time," she protested, "I'll be super careful! Please? I want to make something nice for you."

"Fine, if you're so adamant about making me something, I want a hot chocolate." Reyna kissed her cheek and let go. "And I want extra unicorn marshmallows."

Thalia gave a thumbs up and darted into the kitchen to make a cup of hot chocolate. Reyna smiled happily at her girlfriend. Thalia was an awful cook, so Reyna always cooked for them, which is why Thalia loved it when Reyna was unable to cook. It was a new chance for her to prove that her cooking skills had improved. Nine times out of 10, the attempt would end in disaster, but it was adorable to see her so focused and excited.

Reyna awoke to the heavenly smell of hot chocolate and the soft comfort of an arm draped over her. She ran her fingers through Thalia's soft hair as the girl snored gently, lying face down beside her.

Reyna picked up her mug from the side table. Thalia shifted in her sleep, moving her head to Reyna's chest, and the daughter of Bellona mindlessly resumed combing her hair.

Reyna sipped her drink, noticing the half-melted unicorn marshmallows with an affectionate smile. There was a scuffle at the door, and Arum and Argentum trotted in. Thalia had barred the dogs from entering because Reyna needed rest, but now that the daughter of Zeus was safely asleep, the dogs climbed onto the bed, snuggling with the two girls.

Today was not the celebration she had planned, but she felt a sense of peace, lying in bed, sipping hot chocolate, cuddling her amazing girlfriend and dogs.

'I could get used to this,' Reyna thought, sleepily placing her drink on the bedside table. She pulled Thalia closer and drifted off to sleep.

[hhuta]

every day i think about how they changed the le bien qui fait mal and l'assasinphonie choreography so salieri wasn't dancing close with sexy half naked men. do we know why. i have tried and failed to pinpoint an exact time. i feel like im going insane. they no homoed a dance

anon.. i think about that daily too... im so happy someone else loves the original choreos like i do 😭 it took me a while to reply cuz i was on a mission to answer ur questions as best as i could. so... finally... here is what i found out:

first of all if u wanna read my rant about the changes, in general, here are the posts about le bien qui fait mal and l'assasymphonie

second of all "do we know why" is a good question. meaning i dont have an answer dlkjaskl i just now started to learn french so if they ever talked about it in a video, or something... i missed it. so right away im telling u that i can only offer my guesses.

///

starting with LE BIEN QUI FAIT MAL, as i said in that post i linked, i tried to figure out whether they only degayed it for the 2011 proshot or not and i found out that no, the changes were also present in live performances.

then an anon told me massimiliano (the dancer who manhandles salieri) couldnt be at the 2011 proshot recording. i checked the video and he really wasnt there at all, but that still doesnt fully explain things, bc as u will see from my extensive, very professional research, unlike in the 2011 proshot, in live 2011 shows massimiliano was there, performing, in other parts of the musical. just not during lbqfm. i know he is an irreplaceable icon, so much that i couldnt find a single video where he wasnt the one manhandling salieri (even tho other dancers, from other parts of the choreo, kept switching), but to me its now clear that that was not the case. they really just decided to change the choreo.

so now lets see how it all progressed

for that its helpful to know the dates of mor performances. based on that i was insane enough to watch as many videos as i could to try to pinpoint when the choreo changed. except it wasnt that simple. i quickly found out that a loootttttt of other changes happened before that major one, before massimiliano left. so here it is

THE LBQFM CHOREO CHANGES I NOTICED

03.01.2010 last PDS performance, still the original

6, 26 february 2010 original

11 march 2010 original (massimiliano's skirt fell off 😭)

20 march 2010 original

8 may 2010 original

9 may 2010 not so much the original anymore. this is the first change i've noticed. @1:28 originally its a male dancer who bends back salieri and then there are 2 men and 2 women who .. idk how to describe it, but do that push and pull motion. here one of the guys is not there

(10, 11, 12 no performances)

13, 15, 16 may 2010 now the other guy is gone too, only women left (but the dancer is not really gone. im pretty sure hes there, doing another thing next to them)

(cannot find a video from the 17th, that was the last performance in lyon)

performances at zenith de saint etienne begin at the 21st but i couldnt find a video from it

22 may 2010 original again (sidenote salieri is really unhinged here)

27 may 2010 change. female dancer who's usually interacting with salieri during the first verses isnt there, just massimiliano. not sure if its the same woman who calls him during the bridge and moves him thru the dancers but anyways shes also not there, he walks around alone. so when the Climax happens, again, only massimiliano is there grabbing him

31 may 2010 and 6, 10, 13 and 19 june 2010 another change. the female dancer is back, but during "j'adore l'avoir dans la peau" usually there are two dancers next to him mimicking playing a harp with their bodies but not this time

now the dates that matter the most i cant find a single videeooo 🤡 which are the performances in limoges (25, 26 and 27 june 2010) so all i can say is that

3 july 2010 is the first time i could find that massimiliano wasnt there. aka the degayed choreo. but i cant say if it is the first. also the original choreo for the "j'adore..." part is back again. thats the only performance they did in nancy and its also the last tour performance from 2010. a bunch of people were at the curtain call, even albert cohen was there, so its very weird that massimiliano was absent. im so mad i couldnt find those videos from late june bc all i got is just one video of him not being there, which makes me think he just couldnt be there so they had to change the choreo

9 november 2010 they are back in PDS and its the original again (also this is just for me but he still has the original cravat here. im trying to kill two birds with one stone)

2 december 2010 original (salieris beautiful cravat is gone 😔but this is one of my fave videos)

5, 11 december 2010 still the original

12 december 2010 changes again 😭 "j'adore..." harp dancers are gone again

14 december 2010 they are back <3 (funny video bc mikelangelo forgets to give florent the score)

18 december 2010 NOW HERE ITS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING. a little change. massimiliano is there at the beginning, he drags salieri around but then hes gone before the first verse starts! and he doesnt come back !!! harp dancers are still there tho lmao

19 december 2010 massimiliano is fully gone 🎻 yamin even replaced him during la mascarade, like it happens in the 2011 proshot. i think since this date this change became the standard for a while, before they went back to the original. in the meantime, im guessing its when they shot the 2011 proshot

26 december 2010 still just the female dancer

4, 8 january 2011 still just the female dancer

9 january 2011 still just the female dancer but because it was the last performance in paris, before going on tour again, she has a whip for funsies. also they added, at the end, 2 female dancers sorta removing and quickly putting back salieris coat

28 january 2011 first tour performance, still just the female dancers. and i was not paying attention to this before, but i noticed for the first time in this video the 2 women dancing together, like they show for 2 seconds in the 2011 proshot. lesbian rights <3 i dont think it was part of the original choreo? its hard to tell exactly when they added that bc people usually record salieri, not the dancers, and hes not next to them when it happens (its before the bridge)

4, 5, 6 february 2011 still just the female dancer. but unlike before, this time (but idk exactly when it began) massimiliano was there for other parts of the show; yamin and other people didnt replace him (on the 4th: im pretty sure hes present in l'assasymphonie) (on the 5th: hes in la mascarade, le trublion, etc)

so. they really just changed it. massimiliano not being able to perform wasnt the case. we have to accept that they made a mistake <333 ldkajslk

19, 20, 27 february 2011 the original is back

19, also 19, 20, 23, 26 march 2011 it changed a little again but massimiliano is still there. no one bends salieri back and just one guy and one woman do the push and pull motion. also i think around here they removed the two women dancing together? maybe i just cant see it

20 mai 2011 original back once again

01 april 2011 .................... clearly an aprils fools joke bc massimiliano is gone again. i randomly picked this date cuz i knew it would be cursed dlkjaslk.. also again salieri doesnt get bent back and just 2 dancers do the push and pull... u knOW IT !!! WE GET IT !!!!! ok but i love him dramatically sighing and falling on the floor at @2:58 hes doing the most to make up for the flavour that got lost

03.06.2011 original again

12.06.2011 just massimiliano, no female dancer. im obsessseedddd with this video fully bc of the things massimiliano does!! obsessed with his evil smile @0:48, obsessed with salieri forgetting to throw the score on the floor, so massimiliano grabs it from his hand and forces him to kneel and stand up again. can u tell im a massimilianator and the choreo without him has no chance to please me?

17.06.2011 back to the original again

now im gonna skip to the very last performance from this production bc im honestly tired lkdajskl

10 july 2011 its the original thank god

TL;DR: 19 december 2010 is when the degayed choreo became the standard for a bit and on 19 february 2011 the original returns.

im confident that watching all those videos in a short period of time gave me brain damage but .. anything for science <3

ANYWAYS i started to do this to figure out why they changed It only to realise they changed A Lot of other things throughout performances (some things i didnt even mention, like the dance the woman does next to salieri during the first verse changes a lot) and they kept going back and forth to the original choreo. i think i can safely say not a single part (involving salieri) remained the same throughout the whole thing (not even the bending him back part was always there. i could swear it would be but!! no!). my guess is maybe because a certain dancer took a break or maybe they just wanted to do something different

in conclusion i figured out the exact dates but i cant tell u why massimiliano wasnt part of lbqfm for a while. i couldnt even find people talking about it on forums but, again, maybe bc im not fluent in french. to me it was a big loss, the whole thing loses its spice, i obviously prefer the original by miles. no idea why they simply didnt chose someone to replace him bc the other dancers changed all the time.

maybe it was in florents contract that only massimiliano was allowed to manhandle him <3 dlkjaslk im half kidding bc who knows? maybe it was a legal thing, maybe massimiliano invented this part of the choreo and only He could do it 😭 but honestly. my real final guess is that they simply wanted to change things to make it New and Fresh. as we saw, massimiliano leaving wasnt the only lbqfm choreo change.

///

moving on to L'ASSASYMPHONIE thank god bc it will be a lot easier to pinpoint when they changed the choreo. i believe they changed it and never went back to the original </3 god knows why </333 so when i find the new one ill stop looking

03.01.2010 last performance from "season one", at PDS (before going on tour) and also the last time they used the original choreo bUT ! THERES A BONUS! MORE MEN !!! LKDJALKS they said we will degay it later but u can have more naked men as a goodbye gift <3 really caught me by surprise, its the first time i watched it. but u wanna know whats really weird? this blurry shaky video is the only one i can find?! i even had to scroll a lot on youtube to get to it... conspiracy theory dove is trying to hide the original choreo. but honestly it makes no sense bc it was a Special day..... i cant find it anywhereee not even outside youtube... this is a hate crime. this is offensive. this is the heresy salieri sings about in the song.

the only thing i found was another performance from the same day but i think its the morning or afternoon performance and not the very last one. its for sure different than the one i linked first. i dont think there are 100 men onstage but at least we can see he had black nails 🥰 anyways... if anyone knows a better shot video of the very last performance... let me know... im really upsetklfdjalsjdal I FEEL SOOOO ROBBED...

and im even more mad now, remembering that from now on we get this new choreo. it began on their first tour

04.02.2010 2010 tour begins, first time we see the new choreo

and i have absolutely no idea why they changed it. again, i never saw an explanation and i dont have a single guess. i cannot imagine why they thought the new one was better. if i have to say one nice thing about it is that i like the background, the moving curtain that kinda looks like flames. they should absolutely drop the stupid flashing lights and just leave that background for the Cool effect and bRING BACK..... THE HALF NAKED BLINDFOLDED MEN (HNBM) ...........  THEY CAN REPRESENT SO MUCCHHHHHH... I LOVE THEM....

thats all i got to say otherwise ill start repeating myself.. if u wanna read more about my opinions on the hnbm and why i prefer the original l'assasymphonie choreo its all in the second link of this post..

anyways big thanks to anyone who read this, hope u enjoy all those videos. even with the dagayed choreos, florent and the dancers always deliver amazing performances. so, regardless, its a good time to watch them. lastly if anything is wrong, if i put down the wrong date or something, my bad, but it was .. a lot.. to go through, so if anyone sees a mistake let me know !

[megalony]

Then he was gone

This is a Harry Styles imagine that has a lot of angst in and is inspired by The Time Traveler’s Wife. I hope you all like it, feedback is always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Masterlist

Summary: Harry and (Y/n) are trying for a baby but both times they try, it doesn’t work out in their favour.

Detailed/ graphic scenes ahead.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How are we feeling today?"

(Y/n) turned to look over at Harry sitting on her left but neither of them could find any words. Their nervous smiles were enough to convey that they were happy but anxious, but there weren't quite any words they could think of to say how they were feeling.

"Nervous." That was the only word that came to either of their minds which seemed to fit what they were thinking and feeling.

A baby had been something they had wanted since before the got married and the moment they were married, they wasted no time in trying. Now they were finally pregnant it was a mix of every emotion they could ever feel but the nervousness was the most prominent because Harry was going on tour soon but he didn't want to miss anything. The tour had been all set out and planned to the last detail and then (Y/n) got pregnant, it wasn't exactly the best timing but it was the best surprise to have.

"There's no need to be nervous. If you'll lift up your shirt honey we can take a look at your little one." Her voice was soothing and her smile was calming, but (Y/n) was still nervous.

She didn't want Harry to go away on tour in case something happened or he missed anything important. It was already being arranged that there would be a break towards the end of the tour for when the baby was born but (Y/n) knew something could happen before then whilst he was away and Harry knew it too. He wished they'd of had some foresight into the future so the tour could have happened earlier or been scheduled for next year or the end of this year at the earliest. But it was too late now to start thinking like that now.

(Y/n) rolled the end of her shirt up with one hand whilst her other hand was still tangled with Harry's who was sitting straight in the chair, his eyes constantly drifting between (Y/n) and the monitor.

Harry loved kids, he had so many god-children and was a babysitter to many of his close friend's kids. Children of his own was something he had always wanted and strived for and now it was finally going to be happening it made him feel giddy like a teenager again.

His eyes concentrated on the monitor on (Y/n)'s other side as the midwife smiled kindly, moving the wand around the gel on (Y/n)'s stomach for a few moments whilst her eyes switched between the screen and the wand. The longer the midwife spent looking at the screen without saying anything, the more Harry and (Y/n)'s nerves started to increase and spark paranoia.

Surely they should have heard a heartbeat or seen something on the screen by now? The midwife wasn't saying anything, did that indicate that there was something wrong?

"Is everything okay?" (Y/n) tried to stop her voice from wavering as she looked up at the midwife with a growing urgency to know what was happening. But the moment the midwife removed the wand from (Y/n)'s stomach and set it down told them this wasn't good news. She should be showing them their baby on the screen and letting them listen to the heartbeat and print a picture so they could have this memory. She shouldn't be sitting down next to them looking like she was very unhappy to be here.

"I would like to take a blood sample to send for testing because I believe you're experiencing an ectopic pregnancy." Her voice was again very calm and slow but her sad smile made (Y/n) coil in on herself before she dared to look over at Harry.

Neither of them knew what that meant but the way the midwife spoke made it clear that they weren't going to have a baby anytime soon.

"I- I don't... is that like a phantom pregnancy?" (Y/n) shook her head as she spoke because she didn't know what that meant. She'd had a friend suffer a phantom pregnancy before and she had taken that very hard, (Y/n) couldn't imagine how horrid it felt for her to be told her body was just mimicking a baby because she wanted one.

(Y/n) let go of Harry's hand for a brief moment so she could sit up straighter and quickly wipe the gel from her stomach when she felt the need to coil her arms to her stomach and fold in on herself.

"No, I'm afraid it's where the fetus doesn't develop in the womb, it starts to grow in the fallopian tube instead or around the tube rather than the womb. The ultrasound wasn't conclusive but I do believe that is what you're experiencing. A blood test will confirm this and then you'll need to have a small injection and be monitored for a week or two to make sure the pregnancy is ended."

"T-that's it? You can't do anything...?" (Y/n) punctured her teeth into her lower lip to try and stop herself from crying but it was useless, she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes despite her best efforts to stop them. She didn't want to sit here and cry in front of the midwife but she didn't know what to do.

That was it. This pregnancy had barely started and now it had to end so quickly like it never existed. They had been trying for over a year to have a baby and now when the chance rolled around it wasn't even going to work out for them.

"Ectopic pregnancies can't develop, I'm afraid the fetus would need to be in the womb from the start to get the nutrients it needs to grow. You're already at ten weeks so the pregnancy needs to be terminated now or else your tube could rupture. I am very sorry."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n) found herself brushing her thumb over one of the many rings on Harry's fingers. The pad of her thumb started to trace the outline of the golden H ring he wore on his left hand as she tried to calm herself down. The past two weeks had been horrid for both of them and it didn't feel like it was even close to being over yet.

(Y/n) didn't know if she was lucky or not. She knew that finding out like they did was much easier than her collapsing in agony and being rushed to hospital to find she was suffering a miscarriage or that her tube had ruptured when they thought everything was fine. (Y/n) also knew that a small injection was all it had taken to make this pregnancy feel like it never existed rather than having to suffer a miscarriage and wait for the baby to pass or have surgery to remove the baby. But that wasn't the kind of luck (Y/n) wanted.

It had taken them over a year to even get this pregnancy, to have it end like this was not luck.

Moving her head, (Y/n) leaned her cheek on Harry's shoulder as they sat in the rather quiet waiting room at the hospital. It only took two days for the blood tests to come back and confirm what the midwife had told them and (Y/n) had gone straight into hospital the next day for the injection like she was just getting a routine vaccination rather than destroying her baby.

When the doctor had explained everything, one thing (Y/n) and Harry both knew immediately was that they were going to still think and talk about this as their baby. They had been told that with ectopic pregnancies the embryo didn't form properly which was why it couldn't be saved so they didn't refer to it as a baby, but it was. This was their baby that they couldn't have, there was no other way to think about this other than their baby.

When their name was called out, the couple got to their feet and followed the directions down the small corridor and into the room labelled number 22, Dr Matthews. They had just gone for another scan and were now seeing the doctor to check everything was okay and that the medication had done its horrid job.

It was clear from the moment they both sat down that they weren't happy or ready for this. All (Y/n) wanted to do was sleep from both sickness and heartache and all Harry could do was stay up all day and night, strumming the strings on his guitar to keep him sane in the dead of night.

(Y/n) ran her hand through her hair before leaning her head back on Harry's shoulder when they sat down. It was hard to keep her eyes open when she felt sick and just wanted to go back home and go to sleep to try and feel better. The medication they gave her came with side effects and all it seemed to do was make her sick, lose her appetite and make her sleep but she just wanted it to stop.

"Thank you both for coming in today. I've taken a look at the scan results from today and the blood tests you're having, but I'm afraid it isn't good news."

Harry's hand tightened around (Y/n)'s as his tired eyes looked around the room but he didn't know what he was looking for. How could this not be good news? Harry knew it wasn't good in the sense that this was about losing their child but he didn't see what could be wrong. (Y/n) had had the injection, she'd had blood tests every few days since then to make sure the medication was actually working and doing its job and the scan today was only to confirm that the pregnancy was terminated. What else could be wrong?

"Why, what's wrong?"

"The methotrexate you had did end the pregnancy but I'm afraid the scan showed that your fallopian tube has already ruptured despite ending the pregnancy. We're going to have to take you for an emergency surgery to remove the ruptured tube and stop any internal haemorrhaging."

For a few moments, all (Y/n) could hear was static in her ears as she closed her eyes and buried her face into Harry's neck like she was trying to disappear. It would have been better if she'd never of been pregnant at all, all the fuss and heartache wouldn't have happened and she and Harry could have dealt with it. They could have carried on trying for a baby or put it on hold for his upcoming tour and tried later on. This shouldn't have turned out like this.

"But if you do that, w-will it make it harder to get pregnant again?" (Y/n) opened her eyes enough to look at the doctor who was staring at her in worry but she didn't care. She didn't want his worry or his pity, she didn't even want this operation if it was going to ruin or lower her chances of being able to get pregnant. Getting this baby had been hard enough and that had been for nothing, (Y/n) wanted a baby and she wasn't losing her chance.

"As far as we can tell, your other fallopian tube is healthy so you'll still be able to conceive with no problems if we remove the ruptured tube. Most women have no problems conceiving with one tube. But you've had the methotrexate so you shouldn't try for a baby for at least three or four months because that will still be in your system."

(Y/n) knew she wouldn't be able to try for a baby for a few months due to the medication and that was fine, she didn't want to try straight away to get pregnant and they couldn't really with Harry going on tour soon. But it was clearly hard for them to try and have a baby, one less tube might just make it that much harder for them to try again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Is everything okay?" Harry couldn't keep the nerves out of his voice as he held (Y/n)'s hand in both of his whilst trying not to let his rings puncture into her hand from the tight force he was holding her hand with. His eyes didn't know whether to focus on the monitor or on (Y/n)'s curved stomach to pray that their baby was okay.

They were eighteen weeks and so far each scan they'd had said everything was going smoothly but it still didn't help them from feeling worried whenever they turned up.

Finding out they were pregnant again was scary despite having a blood test done early on that proved this wasn't an ectopic pregnancy like last time two years ago. There were no anomalies this time, their baby was okay and nothing suggested something was going to go wrong but they didn't count on their luck so far. They had been trying for a few months to get pregnant and now they were, they didn't want anything to go wrong.

"Everything looks perfectly fine to me, baby is big and healthy. Would you like to know the gender?" The broad smile on the midwife's face sent spirals of relief and hope swirling through (Y/n) and she couldn't stop the smile or the tears from forming. Her head turned to look at Harry to double check that they did want to find out what they were having.

"Yes please."

"You're having a bouncing baby boy."

Harry didn't know what he was coming home to.

In all the time he had been with (Y/n), she had never once called him up when he was at the studio or doing an interview or just doing some form of work and asked him to come home. She'd never called him up in such a state like this before and he couldn't understand what was the matter or what was happening. At first he thought she was at home and there was a burglary taking place or that she'd slipped or fallen and hurt herself but all he could figure out was she was in immense pain to do with the baby and she didn't know what to do about it.

When they'd gone through the ectopic pregnancy two years ago Harry kept coming home early or staying home instead of getting prepared for the tour because he didn't want to leave (Y/n). Never once did she call him up when he was preparing or in the studio and ask him to come home, not when she'd been sick or couldn't eat or could barely get out of bed. She never said anything until he came home and that bugged him a lot.

But this one time she did call him told him it was bad because she'd never done this before.

The moment he barged through the front door, Harry was scanning around the house, looking in the living room, the back room, the dining room, the kitchen, the study downstairs to try and find (Y/n) before he gave up and ventured up the stairs to try and find his wife. He had to find her and see what was wrong.

Harry decided to head straight for the bedroom and see if she was in there but the moment he opened the door he stopped on the threshold when (Y/n)'s terrifying sob hit his ears and made him coil in on himself out of instinct. "H- he's b-breathing!" There was such an urgency to (Y/n)'s tone that made Harry lean on his back foot like he was about to run out of the room after witnessing something he shouldn't like he'd uncovered an affair. His right hand wrapped around the back of the wooden chair beside him that was making his rings cut into his skin but he couldn't feel it.

He couldn't feel anything but the screams clawing their nails at the back of his throat, desperate to be released and heard by anyone who would listen.

When his body came back under his control, Harry scuffed his toes against the carpet until he was close enough to the scene that he could collapse down on their shared bed next to (Y/n).

The word 'no' passed through Harry's lips like he was a broken record only able to sing that one word like a mantra stuck in his head. The more he said it the louder it became in his head until that word was all he could decipher and work out. His head started to shake and his vision blurred with unshed tears that were desperate to coat his features and burn into his skin like tears of acid as he tried to look at his wife through the tears.

She was kneeling up on the bed but her body was hunched over like there was a huge weight settled on her upper back that was crippling her and every inch of her was visibly shaking showing she was in a state of shock. The clawing screams at the back of his throat calmed down for a second, only to let Harry choke down a gag when the stench of blood and the copper-coloured substance was all he could now see in front of his eyes. The blood was stuck all over the bed and drenched into the sheets but that wasn't the worst thing that Harry could see.

It was his baby boy that he was staring at who was here far too early for his own good. Harry had never seen a baby look like that, he'd never witnessed or seen pictures of a baby so premature like this and he didn't like it. His boy had such a small nose it was almost invisible, his eyes didn't look right somehow, even though they were closed they looked too small and scrunched up and his body had creases and crinkles like a badly folded piece of clothing. His little arms were shaking and there was next to no muscle or tissue around his limbs that were thin and fragile like rolls of paper.

Harry had the sudden wonder that if he reached out for his boy's hand, his tiny fingers would break under any kind of touch they were so small.

He fit in the palms of (Y/n)'s hands.

He was the exact size of both (Y/n)'s hands and Harry knew if he held him he wouldn't fit in his hands. There was too much blood and murky coloured fluids covering him to make him look recognisable to Harry, he was too small to look like a baby when his head was small and squishy like a foam ball. But when the tiny baby tried to breathe all he seemed to do was splutter the fluids like his underdeveloped lungs were drowning.

"Harry..." (Y/n) knew what she was asking of Harry but at the same time, she didn't. She wanted him to do something, she wanted him to help and make this better but she didn't know how on Earth he could do that. They both knew that at this stage he had a slim chance of survival in a hospital ICU but they weren't at the hospital. They were at home with no medical equipment or professionals here to help and getting to a hospital was going to take precious time that they didn't have.

He was too early.

When (Y/n) placed him into Harry's hands she didn't know what she expected him to do or say but the sob that escaped his lips shocked her. She'd seen Harry cry out of happiness each time they found out they were expecting a baby or when she said yes to marrying him or on their wedding day. She'd seen him cry out of nervousness before shows or during moments where the cameras and constant media got too much for him. (Y/n) had witnessed him crying out of sadness when someone died or when something weighed down on him far too much.

But she'd never seen him cry out of pure heartbreak before. He'd never wailed like his heart was physically being ripped out of his chest but again, he'd never felt like there was a hand wrapped around his heart trying to tear it free from his chest.

His thumb brushed against his boy's cheek, smearing away the blood like he was trying to see the skin beneath and see what colour it was but his thumb could take up the whole expanse of their baby's cheek, he was so small.

Harry didn't know what to do.

His baby boy was here now when they had only been twenty weeks pregnant and there was nothing they could do for him because they weren't doctors. Harry didn't have anything to help his baby boy breathe or even to try and clear his airways of the fluids and blood that was bubbling past his thin lips. There was no incubator here to keep him warm and snuggle him up inside so he thought he was still in the womb and protect so he could grow.

All Harry had was the heat from his hands and the love from his heart, but that would never be enough to do anything for his baby.

Harry felt like his boy was going to slip right through his fingers like he was suddenly going to dissolve into water and fall through the gaps between his fingers and be like he never really existed at all. He was slippery and slimy like a fish out of water, desperate to hop back into the sea and carry on with its life.

But he couldn't do that. He was born now, he couldn't go back into the womb and wait for when he really should make his appearance. He had come on the stage in the wrong act and he couldn't back away or take it back now.

And then he was gone.

Harry couldn't feel his small chest convulsing and beating in time with the blood rushing from his lips anymore. His body was no longer shaking in Harry's hands, his breaths were no longer spluttering from his lips and he wasn't drowning anymore.

The brief thought of CPR came to Harry's mind but he dismissed it instantly. What would be the point in that? He was already gone, trying to bring him back could hurt his tiny heart that wouldn't be able to beat on its own or break his little bones that weren't finished growing and forming yet. Harry wouldn't break his baby boy like that just to make him suffer a few more harmful breaths to then have him slip away again. He was gone and it was better to let him have his peace than to hurt and butcher him.

(Y/n)'s scream rippled through Harry and made him shake but when he felt her head falling into his neck and her hands digging into his chest, he couldn't comfort her. Harry couldn't wrap his arms around her or cradle her to his chest like he wanted to because he couldn't put their baby down. He didn't dare set him down on the bed in case he broke like a china doll or he suddenly disappeared like he never existed at all. All Harry could do to comfort (Y/n) was to turn his head enough to press his trembling lips to the back of her head.

Their baby was gone but Harry couldn't put him down. He couldn't even look over at (Y/n) whose screams had drowned out into nothing but static in Harry's ears. He had arrived too late, (Y/n) had had him on her own in fear and pain and now he was dead.

They'd lost him.