#happy anniversary another life

[rowanisawriter]

forgot the exact date but sometime this week is the 10 year anniversary of when i ran away from home lol i was 22 and i had $70 in my pocket, crossed an ocean the very first time i was ever alone and slept on a friends couch for three months. my new life cost me literally everything i had ever known, my family, my old religion, everything to have the power of choice, to be able to choose what to do, to wear, to eat, friends to make, person to marry. i didnt know whether i would succeed or crash out and die. but i knew for sure i would die if i didnt try. sometimes in life you are faced with big choices and its scary. very scary and its tempting to do nothing and have everything stay safely the same but you can be brave and make the right choice for yourself, i know it’s possible because i did it

[hinaliix]

Teen Vashie doodles 💜

[krispiblueberry]

happy late birthday krispy pie and frienzs !!!!!!

also fuck backgrounds this shits hard

[anotherdescentintomadness]

Happy Debut Anniversary, Xiao Zhan!

I cannot overstate how much my life has changed since discovering this man’s existence and the existence of his amazing work. Thank you, Xiao Zhan, for sharing your wonderful art with us.

Get Prints Here

[grahamcarmen]

Dumb question but you keep mentioning how Carmen broke the window and I don't really get it, could you elaborate.

Its really not a dumb question LOL

I think im the only one who freaks out with that specific phrase when i mean

SHORT VERSION:

The absolute iconic way they framed the way carmen breaking the window in the himalayas

I relish the dramatic way its framed and how beautiful it looks that his face is so red compared to the rest of the episode and the shards of glass bite at the edges while she says goodbye and he does his little :( 

But personally it feels like a layered decision when it come to both carmen and gray’s mentalities to visualize it as a break in a window

And even if it wasn’t its layered TO ME!!!!!

And thats just how my brain words it lol

LONG VERSION

You know what’s real cool? Gray was stuck in that little room. stuck with professor maelstroms version of who he was since he was VILE aligned and his own convictions on who he is

and the window plays a bit part in it?

His memories of carmen on the kiwi date telling him he’s a good person  [even tho after his memories return he accepts he’s not] are from him zoning out while looking at his reflection in the window

And then maelstrom projecting the memories of who he was in between the window and him and AGAIN carmen’s memory interrupts and breaks him out of his solemn acceptance of “darkness” and “authority” that the VILE memories and Rorschach test riles up in him

Because why oh why does someone as good as carmen exist there?

she literally shouldn't be anywhere near there yet she is???

And the final time the big old window is his backdrop to reclaiming Crackle while admitting that he DIDN’T want to kill her, it was the thing he actually perceives as WRONG WRONG WRONG since its the only thing he regrets doing on VILE’s orders

and a part of him even hopes that care he has will not have to leave the room if she will just stop

AND SHE BREAKS THE WINDOW!

The real her is there, saying goodbye and HIS FACE FALLS!

she broke it!

the world isn’t just VILE and him 

It's her too. 

Its not just that little room and all he knows in there!!! 

No he doesn’t just get to chalk it down as something he can run away from

A small precious part he can ignore as something in the past

some happenstance friendship that doesn't matter anymore

He hated hurting her but she will always exist in the world alongside VILE as long as its there for her to fight…

For him to…o.o do what crackledude?

choices are coming

VILE exists and he chose that, chose crackle!

But carmen exists too!

SHE BROKE THE WINDOW!!!

SHE SAID BYE GRAY!!!! AND HIS! FACE! FELL!

Carmen isn’t just a fabricated memory or an anomaly in what he knows! She’s there!!!

And she broke the space where he’d been assembling everything he chose to be more open to include the outside!!!!!

SHE EXISTS IN HIS BRAIIIIIN!!!!!!

SHE WILL CONTINUE TO EXIST OUTSIDE OF THE ROOM!!!!

AND IT STILL HURTS A LITTLE!!! DOESNT IT!!!!!!

THAT CHOOSING VILE IS CHOOSING GOODBYEEEEEEEE!!!!

[Extra fun.]

You know this moment where she tells gray off about how stealing isn’t a game? Especially when lives are on the line and he side glances at the window?And again how he was just facing that window before carmen tries to call him back ?

…

Because he doesn’t regret anything ?? feel bad enough about anything to change for the better?

…but she broke the window. His only regret is literally right there on de window .

SHE’S RIGHT-

SHE BROKE THE WINDOW!!!!

[Extra extra fun]

 You remember how carmen has no problems roundhousing him if he’s gonna be so rude [try and kill her] and the window doesn’t break and thus creates a neat little barrier between the criminal she lets get caught and her just returning to her new routine?

But we get the small brainwashing arc and that barrier fakes a disappearance?

Only for the truth to come back [he isn't gonna get magicked into being a good guy just so carmen can make the thing separating them something nobler she could accept]

And if he’s gonna make terrible choices well then he’s made his choice and they’ll go separate ways again

BUT THIS TIME SHE BROKE THE WINDOW!

SHE CAN TELL HIIM ITS OVER! GOOD!BYE!

And yet she’s less triumphant when she looks back? And has to acknowledge that distance and that follows her into her life for a second

there's a crack now in how she treats the fact of their estrangement 

A little more honestly [imo] than how she was initially gonna act like

The opera episode gave her that little room to say “I thought i lost him for good but this could be -” and now when the answer is still “we are enemies” she actually can’t just patch up the barrier between them as easily!!!

not when she saw that second chance and wanted it!

Not when she went there with so much hope no matter how misled it might've been [she’s soooooo not normal at all for this its great]

She’s looking back even as she’s saying goodbye on that broken window!

And then it happens again! tho to be fair in VERY different circumstances, conditions, etc.

She’s over it!

She can even kill him with no hesitation and even a bitter little remark at how this is on him because he’s a little traitor

…

AND SHE! BREAKS! THE ! WINDOW!

ON HER WAY OUT!

And when here memories are out she’s stuck with just that window

Like the show doesn’t even let her go to his body omfg

its

Not a break like gray on the train where its him trying to kill her and her rightfully defending herself that cools the relationship quickly into its most simple core of you are my enemy!

[but neither has broken through the actual barrier of what's nestled deep in them ->they do care they both just have some growing to do to accept this in a healthier way butthatsnotthepointimsorryi-]

Not a break like VILE did in the jail where she can separately mourn that its them who keeps getting in between her rescuing* him

Its …her.

SHE! BROKE! THE! WINDOW!

SHE BROKE IT! SAYING IT DIDN’T MEAN A THING!!

BEING SINGLE MINDED ON A GOAL AND GIVING HIM WHAT SHE THOUGHT HE DESERVED* AND HITTING THE ROAD! CAUSE SHE CAN LIVE WITH IT! RIGHT????

Gray as who she wanted him to be the most is who she killed and ran away through a broken window

gray the vile agent

gray her failed rescue mission

gray who changed but had done something horrible once upon a time and that hurt came back to haunt them

And this is a carmen who already in normal version was betraying the fact that she wasn’t ok with him being gone

[and imo dark!carmen throwing the crackle in his face was a betrayal of hurt too]]

AND IT BREAKS HER HEART! SHE KILLED HIM!

HE’S ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A WINDOW SHE BROKE IN HER GRAND GETAWAY AND SHE THINKS SHE CAN’T UNDO WHAT HAS BEEN DONE!

IT BROKE IT BROKE! 

The broken window is as close as she gets to him at that moment.

Of course. It would be devastating to her.

any mask that she could cobble together that "losing gray isn't that bad for her" is just like ----aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

...and i dieeeeeeeee

-> sorry i rambled but the breaks in the windows also mean TO ME!!! that carmen is also having a shift in her thinking slightly as well

she's always been pretty bummed to part with gray but the window breaks feel like no. carmen i- i think pretending its just how it be is... its kinda deeper than that for her no matter how strong she has to be at whatever moment to move on for now

she broke the barrier, she can't pretend she's actually accepted it in any type of ok way no matter what led to the separation happening

Extra extra extra fun detail fun for me

The window kinda looks like a broken crackle rod to me with the way its a light green strip in the middle of 2 dark strips lol

[hoothootmotherf-ckers]

.

[maluron]

today in my German lesson two aging gentlemen were listening to the song they danced to on their very first date thirty years prior OH THE FEELS OH

[catboyarg]

Hola, guapito. It’s been a bit since I’ve done this, I know. I also know you are going to make fun of me relentlessly when you read this, call me a sap, but I’m going to do it anyway. You like when I’m a sap, even if you say otherwise.

There is not much of a purpose for this letter other than reminding you that I love you. More than anyone in the world, I love you. Outside of our kids, of course.

You understand me better than anyone else. Somehow you always know just what I need. I laugh when I need to and I can be more serious when I need to, and no matter what you know what will help before I do.

You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. If I could only look at one thing for the rest of my days, I would look at you. Your eyes lock me in place and your smile brings out my own. I could be in front of sunrise or sunset, under all the stars in the sky, and I would still choose to look at you over any of them.

You are so smart. Sometimes you play like you aren’t, but you are smarter than I could ever hope to be. There is no one I trust more when I cannot figure out the solution to an enigma – you always think in ways I do not. Your brain works in a way that I could only dream of.

Your voice is the most stunning sound in our universe. Every time you speak, every time you laugh, I want only to hear more. Singing and laughing with you makes my chest feel warmer than the blazing summer sun. If it were an option, I would listen to you every moment of every day.

There is more to say. There is always more to say. I could talk about you for hours without rest. You make my heart race. You make my mind halt. You make me a good person, something I never knew was possible. You are the Earth I trust in and rest upon. The sun that warms my skin. You are everything.

Te amo mi guapito. Gracias por nuestra vida juntos y por quedarte conmigo incluso cuando cometo errores. Nunca podría haber otro como tú, y agradezco a todas las deidades que se me ocurren que me hayan bendecido contigo.

Tuyo, Cellbit (tu gatinho)

[The letter is carefully placed in a drawer. It is not folded, wrinkled, or torn. Wedding plans rest atop it. The drawer is locked, but is one that is opened frequently. This letter will be looked at often before its delivery.]

[cosmicdreamgrl]

.

[omniscientfish]

also, they’re are people on the other side of the world awake in the morning when your awake in the night. They are getting married and having birthday parties and anniversaries. Everywhere, people are constantly living. They are looking at the stars and the trees and the water. We can see through each others eyes. When you get a random burst of happiness, that someone getting their dream job. Or finding out they no longer have an illness. Or just realizing that maybe just being themselves is okay. If you ever feel alone late at night, remember that there are billions and billions of people just like you. You aren’t alone, you’re just another star in endless space.

[sleaze4sleaze]

I’m very grateful grandpa gave me his old shop chair, but it’s not helping my productivity. It’s very comfortable and leans back far and when I sit at my desk in front of my window, I just want to nap in it. I’m tired all the time anyway this chair absolutely does not help

[5sospenguinqueen]

Tantrums | Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Summary: After 10 years together, Lewis keeps pushing back the date on when “forever” can start. Realising that forever applies to her job and not their relationship, she makes it clear that she’s had enough. 

Warnings: slight age gap, reader is 32. angst, heavy on the angst. 

Requested: @madelynn-sienna (sorry it took so long. i didn’t think i was gonna do it ngl to you because i don’t really write for lewis)

F1 Masterlist

next.

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yn_ln just posted

liked by carmenmmundt, alexandrasaintmleux and others

yn_ln when he feels bad that he’s on the other side of the world for your birthday 

4,444 comments

lewishamilton happy birthday, love. i’m so sorry i’m in australia and not with you but i promise i will make it up to you when i’m home. roscoe promised me he’d spend the day spoiling you 

→ roscoelovescoco yes i’s did’s 

user1 oh to be loved the way yn is loved by lewis 

user2 no one makes me feel as single as lewis and yn do 

carmenmmundt @/georgerussell63 take notes

→ yn_ln you tell him, hun

→ georgerussell63 i buy you flowers all the time! 

f1 we’re sorry that a race fell on your birthday. we’ll ask the fia to fix the calendar next year so this doesn’t happen again

mercedesamgf1 we’d give him back if we could. happy birthday, yn

georgerussell63 hang on a second. you’ve not left us yet. that’s not the right car

→ charles_leclerc that’s the perfect car 

→ yn_ln i didn’t buy the car. i just jumped behind the wheel

user3 not me hoping she’d be getting a ring for her birthday 

→ user4 we’ve been waiting for this for the past 8 birthdays

→ user5 it’s been 10 years. we were expecting two rings and a few kids by now

→ user6 i mean, he just bought her a sports car. not very kid friendly 

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lewishamilton just posted

liked by francolapinto, sebastianvettel and others 

lewishamilton happy 10 years to the love of my life. every moment with you is an adventure i never want to end

9,448 comments

yn_ln forever with you ❤️ mainly because i can’t be bothered to train some new guy to photos that good of me

mercedesamgf1 can’t believe it’s been 10 years already. it feels like only yesterday yn was making her paddock debut. here’s to another 10 

→ user7 not mercedes commenting like they’re a part of this relationship 

→ user8 well he’s been with yn almost as long as he’s been with mercedes so they practically are at this point 

user9 my favourite f1 couple

user10 i love their rich money vibes

roscoelovescoco happy’s anniversary’s mum and’s dad 

→ yn_ln my precious boy 

→ user11 now she needs a real baby 

danielriccairdo i can’t believe she’s managed to put up with you for ten years 😂 huge love to you both

→ yn_ln ngl, it’s been tough

→ lewishamilton i’m taking the ferrari back 

user12 wedding and baby when? 

georgerussell63 happy 10 year anniversary. yn is my favourite part of you being my teammate 

→ carmenmmundt can we keep her when you go to ferrari?

→ charles_leclerc no. it’s my turn now 

→ lewishamilton i think you’re all forgetting that she’s mine 

mercedesamgf1 just posted

liked by georgerussell63, kimi.antonelli and others 

mercedesamgf1 GET IN THERE, LEWIS 🏆🥇 LEWIS HAMILTON IS YOUR BRITISH GRAND PRIX WINNER 

23,441 comments

yn_ln my love. i honestly have not stopped crying since you crossed that line. i’m so proud of you. you deserved this and proved to everyone why you’re a motorsport legend

→ lewishamilton couldn't do it without your support 🩷

→ mercedesamgf1 it’s true. the mechanics were uncomfortable when they realised they couldn't just keep giving her tissues

georgerussell63 you deserve it, mate

valterribottas well done champ

user1 can’t believe he won silverstone the same weekend he celebrated 10 years with yn 

→ user2 she’s always been his good luck charm. he performs so well when she’s watching

→ user3 they’re the dream team together 

user4 the fact that yn is the only one he responded to

user5 she’s getting it good tonight

skysportsf1 posted a new interview

user6 oh no, lewis…

user7 lewis, she was asking what was next for you and yn, relationship wise

user8 oh, that’s not quite

user9 i hope yn doesn’t see this otherwise i fear lewis might be in the doghouse tonight 

→ user10 i hope she does see it so that she knows he’s not thinking of her future in the same way 

user11 i always thought lewis loved yn as much as yn loved lewis but now i’m not sure

user12 it’s the fact that the poor interviewer looked upset at his answer as well. like she hoped for better

→ user13 we all hoped for better 

user14 it’s the fact that she’s always talked about wanting kids and getting married but has always said they’re waiting until lewis is ready

→ user15 the fact that every year passes and he never indicates that he’s ready for any of it though 

replies to @/F1Wags

user1 lewis still follows yn

→ user2 and still has all of his photos up, including their anniversary post 

→ user1 i’m hoping this means he’s in denial and is still trying to win her back

user3 i can’t believe this is real. she went all the way back and deleted everything related to him in 10 years. even edited posts to delete slides he was in

→ user4 dedicated queen

user5 just fell to my knees in walmart

user6 i’m devastated but i also hope this means she finds a man who will be prepared to give her the life she wants 

→ user7 well, more fool her for staying this long

→ user6 not really. ever think she wanted those things because she wanted them with lewis

→ user8 don’t break my heart like this please  

replies to @/WeDon'tThink

user9 okay but your pen was on fire when you wrote that 

user10 he literally had the best weekend of his life with a 10yr anniversary, winning silverstone and then clearly messed it all up somehow in the end 

user11 if sir lewis hamilton can’t even do right, what hope do the rest of us have in finding a decent man

→ user12 no because they looked just as in love as they did 10 years ago and he still fumbled

user13 i saw rumours it was because he gave her an ultimatum and she didn’t take the path he wanted 

→ user14 what do you mean?

→ user13 apparently “close sources” said that he told her if she wanted kids, she couldn't have him and so she left 

→ user14 wtf!!! good on her for dumping his ass

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calvinklein and yn_ln just posted

liked by nicorosberg, fernandoalo_official and others 

calvinklein @/yn_ln is stunning in calvin klein underwear. shop the collection now 

5,533 comments

yn_ln oh okay. i look goooood 

→ alexandrasaintmleux i would let you take me home

→ carmenmmundt me too

→ georgerussell63 excuse me, i don’t agree with this

user1 aha, nico we see you 

→ user2 and fernando

landonorris oh so he fumbled bad 

→ oscarpiastri they’re going to take your social media off you again

user3 is this her version of a revenge dress?

→ user4 more like undress

user5 not sure why you wouldn’t want to marry and give a baby to a woman like that 

→ user6 okay, ew

user7 can we appreciate how she’s handled this with class. instead of speaking out against lewis, she’s been booked and busy and flitting about europe on modelling jobs 

→ user8 just further proof that he managed to lose the best woman ever 

roscoelovescoco you’s look’s nice, mum

→ user9 i know lewis hires someone to run this account but what are the odds that he’s actually behind it now so he can stalk yn 

yn_ln please can we all focus on the clothes and support how hot i look by buying some! 

→ danielricciardo don’t even have tits but you convinced me to buy a bra

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lewishamilton just posted

liked by valterribottas, scuderiaferrari and others 

lewishamilton mixed feelings about today. obviously happy for a win but very disappointing for george and the team missing out on a 1-2

7,744 comments

georgerussell63 we put up a good fight today

user1 not really a deserved win though, is it

user2 you fumbled yn and now you’re fumbling wins. you only got this because merc screwed over george 

roscoelovescoco well’s done’s dad

user3 see what happens when you play a good woman, you get a dirty win

user4 man needs to act his age. can’t believe at the grand age of 39, he strung along a girl who loved him more than anything for 10 years

→ user5 destroyed my faith in men for real 

user6 robbed a win from george like you robbed 10 years from yn 

(comments on this post have been limited)

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I wrote this out and was really proud of it and then when I was adding the other driver’s versions on, I realised it was the same principal as Daniel’s so I’m so sorry for the repeated plot

Baby Fever Angst Masterlist

requests are open

[alcaparrass]

I bring a sort of “homoerotic-staring-at-you-lovingly-as-if-I-had-a-crush-on-you, staring-into-the-distance-when-I’m-talking-about-you-to-other-people and sort-of-acting-like-we-are-secretly-dating-while-people-stare-in-confusion” vibe to every close friendship that my straight ™️ girlfriends don’t particularly understand

[kathaynesart]

Felt a bit emotional today over the movie's second anniversary and I thought I might embarrass myself about it online. This little film has become really special to me in how it captured my attention and drew me back into something I haven't been a part of for a long time: a creative community.

For a good portion of my adult life I had been forced to put my energies and creativity primarily towards my work. I wanted to tell stories that people enjoyed and had felt like my career was the only method to achieve that. But this community and fandom really sparked a creativity in me I haven't felt since I was younger and I'm so happy to be able to find that avenue I've always wanted not through an employer but through all of you! I have met so many wonderful and inspiring people and none of this would have happened if I hadn't randomly come upon the four minute opening of the film 2 years ago cuz Youtube looked at my algorithm and said: "hm, lets see if she still likes turtles."

Thank you everyone, for loving what I do and enjoying my work. It means the world, and while my updates have become slower due to longer comic posts, real world obligations, and health issues, I still strive to continue the story inspired by this movie with a passion that has shockingly never waned.

Here's to another wonderful year!

[remxedmoon]

so all you need to do right now is disappear.

HHHHAPPY ISATVERSARY EVERYONE. here’s redraws for every single battle cg in the game. 36 drawings this time around, with 11 of those being custom (though admittedly a good portion of those are edits). combined with the portrait redraws i made back in september, i’ve made 114 redraws for this project! jesus christ! just like those redraws, these are completely free to use!! as long as i’m credited and it’s not for commercial purposes, go wild!! do whatever you want!!!

no i didn’t make these for isat’s 1 year anniversary this is just wildly good timing.

i genuinely can’t fit all of these cgs in one post even with the 30 image limit on browser, but i’ll still try to fit Most of them below the cut (without making this post horrifically long), along with some notes that might be important 👍

okay! once again, i labeled all of the custom art as such in the drive(UPDATE. NNOT TRUE ANYMORE. reformatted file names to be easier to mod in auau. apologies!), but if you want a full list, the customs are hatless siffrin jackpot, bonnie jackpot, bonnie special attack, bigfrin attack, and a bunch of alts which are definitely not related to any projects i’ve been thinking about don’t worry about it. and out of those customs, only like. 3 of them are actually completely from scratch.

while i did my absolute best to keep the aspect ratios completely the same as the originals, there’s 3 exceptions that i just couldn’t get to work.

isabeau’s hair in his special attack cg wouldn’t fit in frame if i kept things completely accurate to the og, so i moved his cg down a bit. it shouldn’t cause any issues with modding or anything, it’ll just appear slightly lower than it does in game. alas…

isabeau’s sleeve and mirabelle’s hair made their jackpot sprites a little larger than the originals? i’m hoping this doesn’t have too much of an effect (since the jackpot sprites have inconsistent sizes) but i can’t test this myself unfortunately. aaa feel free to let me know on discord if any problems arise!!

i managed to fix these, so they aren’t going to cause problems now, but my original drawings for mirabelle and siffrin in the final attack scene were a pain in the ass to fix. mirabelle’s sprite was slightly too talk to fit in frame and siffrin’s hat whacked bonnie in the face while i was editing everyone together. i’m only mentioning this because it took like an hour and a half to fix them and finish the scene.

all that aside, these were a fucking BLAST to work on. apparently this ended up taking 57 hours over exactly 10 days. which is a little worrying if you do the math on that but somehow i have not burnt myself out. i will be doing enemies at some point!!! but probably not for a little bit. i think my friends will actually kill me if i don’t take a break.

once again, happy birthday isat. you’ve ruined my life and i wouldn’t have it any other way (silly).

also, on an actual serious note, this little timeloop game has genuinely changed my life for the better? you guys are probably sick of hearing it at this point (or maybe not, i don’t talk about myself That Much. i hope), but i was practically a ghost for about 2 years before joining this fandom. it’s a little surreal to suddenly have friends (plural!!!) and people who Care about me, or even know i exist, honestly. it’s weird!! in a good way!!!

i don’t think i would’ve ever come back to social media if this community wasn’t so welcoming. i’ve met a lot of really great people through this game!!! so, uh, thank you isat, i guess. here’s to another year.

[dreamlandcreations]

In Another Life

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x Alternate Universe!Reader

Summary: One moment you’re going about your usual day, the next you’re in Ravka - the fictional country in a fictional universe. When you realise that the story you know by heart hasn’t even begun, there’s only one person you can think of going to.

Warnings: canon level violence, threat, minor injury, the reader has a rough first day in Ravka

A/N: lots of people liked the look of this idea so here’s the first part, I definitely want to make this a series as well. In this fic, the netflix show doesn’t exist, but the shadow and bone book has some elements from the show in it.

My Masterlist • Series Masterlist • Next Part

“I need to speak with General Kirigan.”

Chin raised, you survey each of the guards evenly with as much confidence you can gather, trying to determine which one of them is in charge.

They are all wearing the oprichniki uniform, though they appear to be on a break as they lean against a wall that sits by the small metal gate leading to the Little Palace. The palace itself is hidden behind the large stone gateway in front of you.

A tall man with a dark beard lifts a brow in your direction, taking the cigarette away from his lips as he speaks.

“The General isn’t available.” There’s a pause as he looks you up and down. “And certainly not for the likes of you.”

“Tell him I know where the sun summoner is.”

The guards surrounding you laugh, and the man closest to you grins mockingly.

“Yeah, and I’ve found the Firebird.”

Unfazed by their laughter, you cross your arms over your chest.

“I won’t leave until you’ve told him that. If he refuses to see me, I’ll leave. But until then I’m not leaving.”

The man who addressed you before is clearly the superior, and now he steps forward with his eyes narrowed. You’re telling the truth. Your only hope at the moment is that the General will allow you to speak to him. You have nowhere else to go.

He holds your determined gaze for a long moment, before he sighs and glances over at the woman leaning against the gate.

“Ana?” She shrugs.

“I fancied a walk anyway.” Her eyes meet yours and her face hardens as she issues a command for you to, “Wait here.”

She opens the gate and sets off down the path which you assume leads to the Little Palace. The gate swings shut behind her, and one of the other guards slides a bolt into place, keeping it shut.

Despite your display of confidence with the guards, nerves run through the entirety of your body. One of the younger guards offers you a cigarette, which you decline.

Ana seems to be gone for a frightening length of time. Once the guards have finished their break they return to their positions and you lean against a nearby stone wall as you wait.

You’re staring very hard at the ground, trying to come up with a backup plan for if the General won’t speak to you.

Joining the First Army wouldn’t guarantee the opportunity to find Alina. Unless you were purposefully useless during training, maybe you could request to join the cartographers? But even then, how could you tell Alina about a power she has buried inside her when you have no way of proving it to her?

At the sound of metal clanging shut you lift your head up. Ana seems just as surprised as you are when she says,

“Come with me.”

The Little Palace is beautiful. As Ana leads you down a gravelled pathway, you catch your first sight of it which steals the breath from your lungs. It’s far grander than you ever could have imagined, and your eyes are wide as you follow her through the entrance.

She walks like a soldier, shoulders straight with her head level as she makes her way through the corridors, her heavy boots thudding against the oak flooring. Meanwhile, your head is tilted towards the ceiling, admiring the ornate carvings painted in gold. The wallpaper that lines the walls of each corridor is exquisite, a soft cream colour with intricate patterns.

It’s only once she stops in front of a set of dark wooden doors that you remember why you’re here. The sun in eclipse is carved into the door, and the sight of it sobers you. She knocks, and you hear a man’s voice call out,

“Enter.”

The walls of the war room are lined with maps and papers. You don’t spend too much time admiring the room, as your eyes land on its sole occupant. The Darkling. General Kirigan sits at the war table in the centre of the room, a pencil in hand as he writes something down.

“Moi soverenyi,” Ana says in greeting, bowing lightly. The General only nods in acknowledgement, his eyes never leaving the page in front of him.

“You may leave us, Petrova.” The casual command in his voice makes you shiver. She bows again.

He still doesn’t look up at you, and you’re certain this is some sort of intimidation technique because it is most certainly working.

“My guard tells me you know the sun summoner,” he remarks casually, as if he’s merely making small talk as he works. Your mouth opens then shuts, and you fumble over your words before they can even leave your lips.

“I know of her,” you say, fiddling with your fingers as you admit, “I haven’t actually met her.” There’s a beat of silence before you throw out a stilted, “Sir.”

At this he lifts his head, his eyes meeting yours for the first time, and you don’t breathe for a solid five seconds. He raises a questioning brow as he observes you.

“And who exactly might she be?”

“Alina Starkov. She’s an Assistant Cartographer in the First Army.”

His brows furrow lightly as he leans back in his chair, discarding his pencil and resting his elbows on the dark wooden arms beneath him. He dismisses your claim immediately.

“That’s impossible. Grisha testers would have discovered her power when she was a child.”

“And if she suppressed her power when she was tested?” He tilts his head slightly.

“If she did, I might ask how you would know of such a thing.”

“I don’t know whether you’ll believe me.”

“Tell me.”

At this point you falter, eyes dropping down to look at the floor, then the table as you struggle to find the words to describe what had happened.

“Let’s say that the making at the heart of the world is actually the making of all the worlds. A centre of sorts, where every world is connected.”

You don’t dare to look at the General as you continue slowly, considering your each and every word carefully.

“Let’s say that I’m from a world where everyone is otkazat’sya, and Ravka is a fictional country. That everyone here only exists in my world as characters in a book.”

Considering the fact that you don’t know exactly how you appeared in this world, you think you’ve explained the unexplainable rather well. Though the look on the General’s face doesn’t comfort you.

His next words baffle you.

“Prove it.”

“Wha- How?”

“Tell me something only I would know. That you know because you have read this supposed book.”

With Alina being the protagonist, you know very little of the General’s internal monologue, or what has happened in his life, especially at this point in time, when the story hasn’t begun. Almost everything you know about him is from Alina’s point of view. Almost everything.

“You first used the Cut when you were thirteen years old during an attempt on your life.”

He goes very still.

This was an incredibly bad idea.

Because if you know about that, you know when it happened. You know he’s been alive for centuries. And if you know that, then you know he is the Black Heretic.

Every one of your heartbeats echo thunderously in your head, and when you glance down at your hands you realise you’re shaking. He stands with an unreadable expression on his face, the shadows around him lengthening.

The darkness creeps over the floor, heading straight for you and you fight the urge to flinch as the sunlight from the nearby window is extinguished.

“What else?” he asks in a low voice, hard as steel, and you scramble to think of something, anything to prove to him that you aren’t lying or crazy.

Deep down, you know there’s one thing he wants to hear from you. Whether you know his biggest secret - who he is and what he’s done.

“I know that Baghra is your mother.”

He takes slow, measured steps towards you, rounding the war table as he speaks again, and you fight every urge inside you to turn tail and flee. He would catch you. He could cut you in half before you reach the door.

“What else?”

“I know that you’re a lot older than you’re currently pretending to be.”

That’s as close as you can get without explicitly saying it. But it isn’t enough for him. With one final step, he stands directly in front of you, a towering figure that stares down at you. His voice is quiet as he repeats himself for one final time.

“What else?”

Throwing caution to the wind, you hold his gaze as you say it.

“I know you’re the Black Heretic. That you created the Fold.”

There’s a pause as he stares into your eyes. His words are even quieter as he asks,

“Are you afraid of me?”

“To some extent,” you admit honestly.

From how close he is, you can hear the small breath of amusement as it leaves his lips, and you hurry to explain yourself.

“I know that right now I’m a liability for you, and you’re trying to figure out whether my usefulness outweighs the damage I could do.”

He raises a brow at you.

“And?”

“And…” Your voice fades, looking down as you think it all over in your mind. Then you sigh. “You have no reason to believe me. But you know what a lie looks like, and I’m not lying. Am I?”

You don’t know where this sudden burst of confidence has come from, but you know your words are true. He’s lived for centuries. This can’t be the strangest thing that’s happened to him. Surely he would keep you alive, if only out of curiosity.

He tilts his head aside, a half-smile curling at his lips as the darkness begins to fall away.

“You haven’t given me your name.”

Hardly believing that this is his reaction, you tell him it softly and he repeats your name in a murmur. It’s only then that the surreality of the situation hits you.

He steps backwards, putting a casual amount of distance between the two of you, and warm sunlight settles over your skin once again. He looks away, glancing at the war table momentarily before he turns his head in your direction.

“I’ll have you shown to a room. Remain there until I decide what to do with you.”

You nod.

You’re not upset, or even worried, by his words. If anything, this is the best case scenario. He isn’t sending you down to the dungeons to be tortured for information. Despite the nerves still lingering in your body, you manage to push out the words,

“Thank you.”

There’s a calculating edge in his eyes, as he observes the genuine expression of gratitude on your face. He doesn’t acknowledge you, and you have the impression that you’ve confused him.

He heads towards one of the doors leading into the hallway, opens it, and speaks lowly to one of the oprichnik posted there, no doubt issuing orders to prepare a room for you.

Your eyes meet his for a moment as he closes the door and turns back towards the war table beside you.

“May I ask you something?” You nod. “Why come to me? Why not let the story unfold as it should?”

It’s a good point. But you don’t want the story to go as it should. There’s a sharp twist in your heart as you look at him, as the end of his story plays on a loop in your head. A knife in his chest, the Fold falling apart around him. You can’t let that happen to him.

“I want to help,” you tell him with a light shrug, before you look down at the space between you. “I’m not Grisha, I don’t have a power that can change the world…” At that you look up at him. “But you do. If I can help you make Ravka a better, safer place for both Grisha and otkazat’sya, why wouldn’t I?”

“That won’t happen without your interference?” He muses with a raised brow, and you hesitate before answering. You can’t tell him that he won’t achieve it in his lifetime.

“There are some complications along the way.”

“You want to avoid those,” he states and you nod.

There’s a knock at the door, and the General straightens himself before he calls out a sharp,

“Enter.”

Ana the oprichnik opens the door, glancing between you and the General before she bows lightly in his direction.

“The vezda suite has been prepared, moi soverenyi.”

His attention is fixed on you.

“Petrova will show you to your room. I hope I don’t need to tell you to stay there until I send for you.”

You nod.

“I’ll stay,” you tell him, meaning every word of it.

Ana leads you through the hallways, and you follow as quickly as you can. You’re glad of the opportunity to see more of the Little Palace. There’s a few Grisha milling about, but they don’t pay you much attention.

She opens a door, revealing the suite prepared for you. It’s stunning. Eyes wide, you look over everything in awe. The colours are light and delicate, and the sun shines through lace curtains, casting its rays over the smooth wooden flooring.

The door shuts behind you, and you’re finally alone.

For a few minutes all you can do is stare at the furniture and walls surrounding you. Footsteps echoing over the floor, you peek into the bathroom, eyeing the large bath tub and other facilities. It’s so much grander than you could have imagined.

You hardly dare to touch anything, as if once your hands settle onto the chair or one of the tables everything will disappear. Like none of this is actually real.

Sitting down at the vanity table, you spot some paper and a pencil, and soon you’re channeling your nervous energy into doodles. Flowers and leaves and a stag. Clouds and sunshine. Tiny little scribbles that allow you to focus on one thing, rather than the fifty million things you should be thinking about.

A few hours pass, and the sunlight begins to fade. With a few tentative attempts, you manage to lift the glass shade of the lantern by your desk, and you feel rather proud as the room is filled with warm light once the lamp has been lit.

The sound of the door opening attracts your attention.

Lifting your head up from your drawings, you soon spot the oprichnik who shuts the door behind her. She isn’t familiar, though you had only seen a few of the oprichniki so far, and her Ravkan accent is heavy as she speaks,

“The General wants to see you.”

You nod, turning back to face the mirror as you push the seat back a little. Before you can react, she’s behind you, a string pulled hard against your throat. Writhing against her, you gasp but fail to draw in any air and panic grips you.

Kicking hard, luckily your foot manages to meet the vanity table, knocking the two of you backwards. The fall sends you both sprawling, and your lungs heave in air as you stumble forwards. Barely thinking, you seize the letter opener on the table.

At the sound of her approaching you again, you swirl the letter opener out in an arch, wielding it in her general vicinity. She cries out, clutching her arm with a vexed growl. There’s a splatter of blood on the floor, and you almost drop your makeshift weapon.

Instead you grip it tighter as she pushes you against the wall, your arms trapped between your body and hers, you try to push the end of the piece of stationary towards her chest.

Horror fills you as she frees her hand, her fingers flexing in an unfamiliar motion, and the metal curves in your hand, twisting into a useless lump. Grasping your hair, she slams your head against the wall, and the world goes black for a moment.

Consciousness returns to you only seconds later, blood pounding through your head, stars sparkling over your vision as you realise you’re lying crumpled on the floor.

The door opens, and the hands leave you.

“General Kirigan,” she says in surprise, looking down at you. “Your guest dragged me in here and attacked me.”

Tears are flooding down your face, as your lips part in shock. This is it. Just when you thought he might be able to trust you, you’re framed for assault. With wide, frightened eyes you can only stare at the General as he nods to the heartrender beside him in a silent order.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you prepare yourself to lose control over your heart, for your blood to burn in your body, and to die a grizzly death. An sob escapes your throat, and you hope dying in this universe sends you home. There’s a heavy thud, and your heart slows a little, but you’re not dying.

Tentatively, you open your eyes. The oprichnik that attacked you is lying unconscious on the floor, though you can hardly give her much thought as the General crouches down at your side.

“Are you hurt?” he asks, holding out his hand towards you. More tears pool in your eyes. Your head aches terribly, as does your throat and arms.

“A little.” Tremors shudder through your body, and you reach out towards his hand. Fingers curling around his sleeve, and with little thought of his reaction, you tug him closer, collapsing against his chest.

“Ivan, send for a healer,” he orders, and in the distance you hear the thudding of boots as the heartrender retreats.

The General’s hand cups the back of your head, keeping your face pressed against his chest as you take in a few sharp, shuddering breaths. His other arm wraps firmly around your body, hand settled against your side as he shields you from the scene.

“You’ll stay with me tonight,” he insists.

You don’t respond verbally, but you’re certain he feels the weak nod of your head.

The next hour passes in a muffled blur. The General guides you through the hallways towards his quarters. He sits you down at his vanity table, and a healer soon arrives to fix up your wounds. Her touch is delicate, though the healing itself prickles uncomfortably over your skin. She urges you to rest, but tells you there’s no cause for concern.

Her healing hasn’t removed the heavy exhaustion that has settled into your bones, or the anxiety causing your mind to run overdrive. You thank her all the same, as she leaves.

“I should have known this would happen,” you admit in a whisper, staring at nothing as your mind runs rapid, considering each of your thoughts frantically.

As if clouded by fog, your gaze slides over to the General, his arms crossed as he leans his hip against his vanity table.

“How could you have?”

“Baghra makes an offhand comment to Alina about having some Grisha that are loyal to her. Meaning they aren’t loyal to you.” His jaw tenses slightly at your revelation. “When one of your trackers finds the stag she has a Grisha, disguised as an oprichnik, try to kill him.”

Tears slip down your cheeks, but they’re borne of frustration rather than upset or fear. You need to be smarter from now onwards, but how can you? Baghra has lived for centuries. She’s ruthless, and here you are crying.

“She must have heard I knew about the sun summoner. Saints, if she found out what I actually know she would kill me herself.”

The General opens up his wardrobe, and after a moment of consideration he selects a black shirt and walks over to you with it in his hands. His presence beside you pulls you from your thoughts, and you glance up at him before looking down at the shirt with a frown.

“For you to sleep in.”

Your cheeks warm, but you take his shirt all the same, murmuring a small,

“Thank you.” He nods in acknowledgement, before he turns and sits on the sofa beside his bed with his face turned away from you, looking out of the window. Taking that as your cue to change, you do so quickly.

Once you’re dressed you sit at the end of his bed and clear your throat to signal that he can look at you. There’s an unreadable expression on his face as he looks at you, sitting on his bed wearing his shirt.

He stands slowly, giving you a small bow before he says,

“I’ll bid you goodnight.”

He’s walking by you when you reach out and grasp hold of the sleeve of his kefta.

“Stay, please. I know you have to go and deal with what’s happened but… I just don’t want to be alone.”

Part of you might have felt bad, pulling the alone card on him, but you’re too tired and anxious to think about it. If it takes a little manipulation to get him to stay - to keep you safe - you don’t care.

“I’ll stay until you fall asleep,” he concedes. “When I leave I’ll lock the door behind me. The doors to the war room are already locked.”

“What about the secret door?” you ask, mind immediately filled with visions of Baghra stepping through with a knife in her hands, ready to kill you while you sleep. He tilts his head aside with surprise in his eyes. “The one behind the bookcase,” you add.

“Come with me.”

You follow him as he steps into the war room, rounding the table as he heads towards the bookcase in the corner of the room. The one that hides the secret passageway.

He ensures that you’re watching him, as he reaches towards the back of the shelf where a small bolt is fixed to the wooden back. He slots it closed.

“It’s that simple?” you ask in a near whisper, thinking over how easily Alina running away could have been prevented. A tiny bolt. He nods.

He makes a show of trying to open each door leading into the hallway, and a small smile tugs at your lips as he presses his shoulder against the door whilst tugging on the handle. It’s a little over the top, but you appreciate it.

Once you return to his bedroom you slide under the covers, and the General opens a drawer in his vanity table. He takes out something, and steps closer to the end of the bed to show you it. A dark metal key.

“I’m the only one who has a key to this room.”

You nod, biting down on your bottom lip as you think. It isn’t long before you have another issue.

“A fabrikator could unlock the door,” you reason, remembering how your attacker had twisted the metal of your letter opener with her power.

You’re certain the General must be getting tired of you and your worries, but he merely nods and seems to give your suggestion some serious thought.

“Is there a Grisha you trust?”

You consider his words, running through a list of Grisha that you can think of, then questioning which ones you could rely on.

“Fedoyr.”

“I shall have Fedoyr posted outside until I return.”

That reassures you. Very little could get through a heartrender, and as far as you know Fedoyr is a good person. You nod in agreement, offering him a tiny smile.

“Thank you.”

He looks conflicted for a moment, and you decide to ignore whatever it is he’s thinking about while you’re settling yourself under the covers. After a moment of hesitation, the General sits down beside you, his back leaning against the dark oak headboard.

Eyelids heavy, once you have your arms curled around one of his pillows, pressing it firmly against your face and chest, you manage to relax a little. Your shoulders sink as you exhale, and sleep tugs you closer into its embrace.

The last thing you’re conscious of is a feather light touch, stroking at the crease between your brows and down the bridge of your nose.

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