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inkovert · 1 year ago

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WIP Snippet Tag Game

Rules: Post a snippet you've written that you're proud of and tag 5 people

Thank you @pluttskutt for creating this tag game and tagging me to get it started! Hope you don't mind I gave it a name, feel free to change it

Tagging: @that-chibi-writer @junypr-camus @mundanemoongirl @chauceryfairytales @author-a-holmes

I was pretty excited to do this one because I have a lot of scenes that I'm proud of that I've written lately. I was torn between two that I wanted to share but chose to go with this one. I rarely post long snippets of my writing so I was hesitant to share this one, but I just don't think singling out a piece of this scene would've done it justice so - here it is!

A snippet from My Dearest Enemy. I don't think much context is needed.

CW: active grieving, death of a parent, brief mention of self-harm (to those I tagged pls don't feel obligated to read this if it is at all triggering)

Word count: 1915

A sea of faceless onlookers. A figure in the middle, centering the piece. Something was off about her. Was she naked? No. Too literal, too obvious. Black in a sea of white? No nuance to that. But something made her different from the others. A spot of abnormal in the sea of normality.

“Would anyone be willing to read the passage on page 13 starting with ‘Clevinger arrested himself’?”

I glanced up from my sketchbook. Dead silence. Almost everyone stared down at their desks as if that would somehow make them invisible.

Mrs. Fischer stood at the front of the class, frowning. Why she insisted on getting a bunch of jaded seniors to read out loud anymore was above me.

To put everyone out of the misery of steeping in this awkwardness any longer, I closed my sketchbook and boldly raised a hand.

Mrs. Fischer’s eyes brightened behind her glasses. “Thank you, Cameron, for volunteering.”

I flipped to the page and cleared my throat before reading: “Clevinger arrested himself in mid-declamation, suspiciously. ‘Who’s Nathaniel?’ ‘Nathaniel who?’ inquired Yossarian impatiently. Clevinger skirted the trap neatly. ‘You think everybody is Jehovah. You’re no better than Raskol—” I stopped abruptly.

“Raskolnkov,” Mrs. Fischer said, under the assumption I was having trouble pronouncing the name.

An intense pressure slammed into my chest like a crushing weight.

This Raskolnkov fellow sure is a piece of work.

A tidal wave of emotions surged to the surface, crashing over me. My body grew heavy and rigid like blocks of steel, pinned beneath the weight of anguish threatening to consume me. I took quick, shallow breaths, forcing myself to stay afloat, willing the flood to recede.

“Raskol —” My voice thinned and broke with impending tears.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to regain control of myself. Not here. Not now. Not like this.

The rustling sound of movement. I could sense heads turning in my direction.

Faint whispers. “Is she okay?”

“Cameron? Are you alright?” Mrs. Fischer asked.

I clamped a hand over my mouth, smothering the sob expanding like a bubble caged in my throat. I bolted up from my seat and ran for the door, ignoring the confused looks and poorly concealed murmurs of concern.

You’re never going to finish that are you?

Some day, I will. A chapter a year and I’ll be finished before you know it.

I’ll practically be in college by then!

So, it’s a deal?

My heartbeat thundered in my ears. Everything around me blurred as fresh, hot tears pooled behind my eyes, racing down my face. I clenched my teeth to quiet the sobs. The world tilted as I suddenly grew unsteady on my feet, in desperate need of a place to sit down.

Coming up on the stairs to the upper floor, I ran up a few steps and took a seat at the landing. Heaving and sobbing hysterically, I shook out my wrists, willing myself to get a grip, terrified that I was rapidly losing control. Digging my phone out of my pocket, I furiously wiped away my tears so I could see the screen.

Who to text?

Mira? We hadn’t talked since I blew up at her Saturday night.

Jeremy? No, I couldn’t drag him into this.

My grip on my phone slipped and I gasped as it clattered down the steps, sliding across the floor.

“Fuck shit fuck!”

Hugging my knees and burying my head in my lap, I rocked back and forth, praying for this intense feeling of despair to subside.

The faint sound of footsteps. They abruptly stopped just below me.

“Screen’s cracked.”

My ears perked up at the familiar voice. I lifted my head. It took a second for my eyes to focus. Spencer stood at the base of the stairs holding my phone in his hand.

I scoffed, glancing away with a sniffle. “What the hell do you want?”

“Mrs. Fischer wanted someone to check on you. I told her I’d make an attempt to look for you on my way to the bathroom.”

I rolled my eyes with a bitter laugh. “How noble of you to include me in there as an afterthought. You checked. I’m fine. You can leave.”

“Very convincing performance.”

“Seriously, Spencer, go away. I’m not in the mood.” Balancing my elbows on my knees, I hung my head, digging my fingers into my scalp. In my periphery, I watched him take two steps to lean against the railing. “God, can you please just leave?” I whined in aggravation. My heart wrenched, and any other words of protests died inside me on their way to my lips.

I was too far gone to care how humiliating this was, falling apart in front of him, of all people.

It didn’t matter. I was no longer in control of my body. Grief had snuck in and hijacked my nerves, rooted itself in my bone marrow. All I could do was bend to its will, heave and sob into the sleeve of my sweater until it retracted its claws from my lungs and granted me permission to breathe again.

Slowly, gently, my sobs subsided into quiet hiccups. I folded my arms atop my knees and rested my cheek against them. “No one told me it would be like this.” I sniffled, my voice quiet and hoarse. “No one prepared me. After it happened, we just…never spoke about it. She just went on as if nothing had happened. Like if we ignored it, everything would go back to normal.” My forehead pinched in frustration, a stray tear tickling my skin as it streamed down the side of my nose before veering off course and dripping against my hand. “I guess something inside of me wanted to believe that it was possible. That we…that I could be normal again. I’d give anything for that.”

“Seems like an awful lot of effort wasted pretending to be something you’re not.”

I furrowed my brows. Lifting my head, I regarded Spencer at the base of the stairs.

He rested an elbow on the railing behind him, his thumb fiddling with the ring on his pointer finger. “If you ask me, it’s pretty overrated. Being normal. Whatever that means.”

I pursed my lips, then cleared my throat. “How do you figure that?”

“Normal people don't do extraordinary things. They don't make history. They're,” he shrugged, “forgettable.”

I perched my chin on my arms and stared down at him. “What if I don’t want to be remembered?”

He finally glanced up at me. “Sounds like a pretty sad existence.”

“Maybe. But can’t be any worse than the one I’m already living.”

He quirked a brow as if to say, Touche.

I studied him. “You know, you’re not normal either.”

“Damn, really?” he said, in the world’s most disinterested tone. “What gave it away? The fact that I piss off everyone I talk to or that I stood in the middle of a hallway and cut my hand open?”

My head tottered from side to side. “You know what? I think it’s a tie.” I pressed the knuckle of my thumb against my lips to suppress a laugh. He shook his head, turning away just as the corner of his lips sloped upward in amusement.

I pulled the sleeves of my sweater over my hands. “My dad had to read Crime and Punishment for a lit class he was forced to take in college. He never finished it. Every time he picked it up, he’d only get a few pages in and give up. Years later, after my brother and I were born, Jeremy signed up to be the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz for a school play. A few weeks into rehearsals, he started to get bored of it and wanted to quit. My dad gave him this whole speech about how if he never finished anything he started people would assume they couldn’t rely on him. My brother, cleverly, asked my dad if he’d ever started something that he never finished. And he remembered his college lit class. He couldn’t come off as a hypocrite. He had to set an example for my brother. So he made a deal that he would finish Crime and Punishment if Jeremy saw the play through.”

I chuckled. “Total idiot move. My brother only had to suffer for two more weeks in rehearsal. But my dad had to suffer through that book for years. A chapter a year. That was his goal. And he stuck to it. Every December, I’d catch him up late in the middle of the night, trying to get a few pages in so he could keep his promise. That book practically lived on our coffee table. Every year the bookmark inched closer and closer to the end. We even made a game out of it, seeing who could come up with the most absurd things that would happen before Dad ever finished that book.” My breath hitched. I swallowed as fresh tears stung the back of my eyes. “I’d almost forgotten about that. And now all I can think about is…that bookmark. Staying on that same page where he left it last December. Forever.”

My voice cracked. Sniffling, I wiped at my wet cheeks in frustration.

I blinked up at the fluorescent lights, willing the tears to stop. “It’s crazy. The different ways a person’s memory lingers. How just reading a single word in a book could make me wanna cry for days.” The ensuing silence made my skin crawl, suddenly painfully aware that maybe I had shared too much. I tugged my sleeves further over my hands. “Have you ever…lost anyone?”

His head shifted in my general direction, but he didn’t meet my eyes.

I stiffened. “I’m sorry, that’s a really deeply personal question. You don’t have to answer that.”

He tilted his head back. To my surprise, he responded, “Yeah, I have.” I stayed quiet, giving him the space to speak, or to share in the quiet with me. “My mother.”

My heart pierced. “Oh my god. I’m so —”

“Don’t.” He cut me off. “It happened when I was really young. I don’t even remember her.”

I peered at him curiously, not understanding. “Even if you didn’t really know her, that doesn’t mean you can’t still mourn what’s missing. I know I would.”

His head whipped up to me, eyes wide with the purest, unguarded wonder for the briefest moment.

The shrill ring of the bell broke the spell.

He turned away, withdrawing into himself once more.

“Crap. I practically skipped out on the whole class. This isn’t gonna go over well.”

“We should probably head back.” Head down, Spencer eased off the railing.

“You go ahead,” I said. He threw a curious look over his shoulder. “I’m not exactly keen on walking back into a room full of people who witnessed me having a mental breakdown.” He nodded in understanding. “But, thank you. For checking on me, and trying to comfort me…in your own way. You didn’t have to do all that.” Given how standoffish he’d been during our last few encounters, I began to wonder. “Why…did you?”

He stared down at his hands, idly twisting the silver ring on his forefinger. “I don't know," he said. "What’s the alternative?”

His response disarmed me as I slowly recognized my own words from our conversation at the Yard. A slow smile crept up my face.

#writeblr #writing community #writers of tumblr #tag game #wip: MDE #thank you for the tag!#happy I got to share this one #I've never lost anyone - least of all a parent - but I think about how I would cope with something so devastating all the time #I hope I was able to write it authentically

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ruporas · 2 years ago

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bound to want (part two) /// part one rest of pages under READ MORE after ID

[ID: 23 page digital comic of Vashwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic is in a limited palette of a dark blue, light pink, white, black, and a light beige color for Vash's skin and a mid-brown color for Wolfwood's. This comic is the second part to "Bound to Want" and is spoiler-free. The first part is linked here.

It begins with a panel close up of Vash's expressions. The sky colored in dark blue can be seen behind him. He has a neutral expression, but he holds a slight frown and the reflection of his glasses covers one side of his eyes. Wolfwood says, "Hey. What's with the distance?" In the second panel, the shot widens to show both of them, a clear physical distance separating them with Wolfwood walking ahead and Vash trailing a little behind. Vash responds, "What? I'm just walking a bit slower today..." Wolfwood looks at him with a an irritated expression, clicking his tongue. Wolfwood says, "I was going to wait for you to start... But yer just running away away."

Vash is seen looking away, unable to hold eye contact with Wolfwood as he continues, "You've been avoiding me since that night. Did ya think I wouldn't notice? It's about that dream, right? Tell me about it already if you're going to be moping like this." Vash looks slightly downwards, his brows furrowing and he starts to walk ahead of Wolfwood without looking at him and responds stiffly, "I really don't want to talk about it..." Wolfwood looks at him with a surprised expression, but doesn't probe.

A panel close up to Wolfwood's eyes as he watches Vash go on ahead before he follows suite with an irritated sigh. The panels are overlapped by Wolfwood's hand holding the bottle of the Bride with motion lines, indicating a transition in time.

A wide shot of Vash and Wolfwood in a room now. Vash is seated, his back turned away from the viewer, while Wolfwood's body faces the viewer with his eyes looking towards Vash. He rests the bottle of the Bride on the table with a "clack" and his other hand holds two shotglasses. The background is coated in a light pink.

A panel shows a close up of Wolfwood's face, his eyes looking downwards to Vash as he says, "Let's drink." Next to this panel is Vash looking up at Wolfwood, his brows furrowed and a slight frown. The bottom half of the page is a wider shot with Vash's body turned away from the viewer as he says, "I'm not going to talk about it." Wolfwood responds, "You don't have to." as he sits down.

A wide panel of Wolfwood holding the shotglass, pouring in the drink as he continues, "I'll talk." The next panel is a profile view of Wolfwood, his eyes looking down at the now filled shotglass as he continues to say, "You're..."

"... upset with me." Vash can be seen next to this speech bubble with narrowed eyes, looking towards Wolfwood. The panels are all coated in with a dark blue background. Wolfwood continues, "I can't be certain why since yer not telling me a thing -- but it's probably... my bad." The panels show Wolfwood about to bring the shotglass to his mouth but he turns way as he continued to speak, his eyes not on Vash. The bottom page shows him looking away completely with a guilty expression as he says, "I'm sorry.

If you can ever tell me why, I can try and adjust to make it more bearable. But if you're just trying to get rid of me--" The panels follow Wolfwood's certain expression as he says this, "I don't intend to leave you. I can't... and I won't." A panel shows Vash's wide-eyed expression, surprised upon hearing this, and then his eyes soften as Wolfwood again concludes with, "I'm sorry."

Vash's inner thoughts begins, a boxed speech at the center of the page and panels of his eyes, his brows furrowing again and a resigned, but frustrated expression. His thoughts starts, "Stop. I shouldn't be happy hearing that. And why are you apologizing? I should be the one to..! I can't let anything like that happen to you. You deserve to live a long steady and peaceful life. I want to be optimistic. I want to protect you, but I might end up doing the opposite." The text surrounds Wolfwood from Vash's perspective, the other man drinking out of his shotglass, his eyes downcasted.

"I shouldn't have you. And you won't leave." Behind these text is a panel of Wolfwood's eyes finally looking over to Vash. Vash's thoughts continues, "It's so unfair." When Wolfwood sees Vash, his eyes soften and he frowns. The last panel shows the lower half of Vash's face, but tears begins to flow down his cheek. Wolfwood's hand is already reaching to wipe at them as he starts to say, "You know..."

A wider shot of Vash and Wolfwood, Vash slightly leaning forward with his mouth tightly shut, and tears steadily continuing to flow out of his closed eyes. Wolfwood continues to wipe at them with his hand as he continues, "This isn't a dream anymore. I don't know what you saw for you to be this shaken up, but whatever happened, you'll overcome it, right? If not you, I'm here too. You'll be okay, Spikey. So..." Wolfwood's expression grows more tender, "Have a little faith in me... and come back already." The dark blue starts to fade.

The wide panel has the dark blue background faded and replaced is the light pink. It shows Vash in full up to his shoulders, his eyes are still tears littered, but there's light in them as he says, "Wolfwood..." making eye contact with the other. The next panel shows Wolfwood's tender expression, his eyes and brows fully soften and he has a small smile on his lips, finally seeing the other return a level of sincerity with him.

The next panel shows the bottom half of Wolfwood's face and his hand is offered towards Vash for a dance as he says, "C'mon. We don't have to talk, but this is okay, right?" The background is now white and a ribbon flowing across the page separates this panel from the next sequence. Vash's inner thoughts continus, "I've spent too long avoiding this. It's scary to want after I've taken so much from others." A sequence close up of their hands is shown, with Wolfwood's outstretched hand on the right and Vash's reaching hand on the left. Vash gently places his hand in Wolfwood and at the bottom, Wolfwood wraps his fingers across Vash's.

Throughout the page, a dark blue ribbon starts to flow around the both of them with confetti raining alongside the effect. Vash and Wolfwood are hand and hand, dancing together with Wolfwood as the lead. The viewer can see a peak of Vash's expression, full of fondness but also a hint of sorrow as he looks down at Wolfwood. His inner thoughts continue, "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. But why is that even though I have these burdens, I still want to love you. I still want you to be by my side."

With a close up of their mouths, Vash's thoughts continue, the text covering his mouth, "Wolfwood, I--" Wolfwood's speech bubble covers Vash's text as he completes his sentence, "want you." Vash's eyes widen for one panel and in the next, his eyes spark, a blush appearing on his cheek and the confetti flows and spark. Tears ease up on his eyes again.

"Want me too already, Spikey." Wolfwood has leaned in enough to rest his head against Vash, a hand of his on Vash's neck, holding his nape and another hand pressed gently against his back. A ribbon separates this panel from the next, a mix of confetti flows across the page, as Vash envelopes Wolfwood in a hug too, holding him and his hand gripping tightly onto his back.

This page is just the ribbon flowly throughout the page on the white background, one white ribbon and the other a dark blue. Near the bottom, the ribbon envelopes each other in a loop. A conversation of Vash and Wolfwood is held over these ribbons, Vash starting to say, "What if I hurt you? What if you..?" Wolfwood responds, "You? How could you hurt me?" Vash, "You know what I mean... You see it everyday..." Wolfwood responds, "If you think I'm going to kick the bucket so easily, I suggest you look at me more closely from now on, idiot. I'm not that easy to get rid of."

The next page has the ribbon criss cross over the top of the page. Vash and Wolfwood can be seen in their dancing position again, Wolfwood now resting a hand on Vash's shoulder, as Vash takes the lead. Vash continues, "Well, I know that... I tried." Wolfwood responds, "But you won't anymore... since you want me... around, yeah?" Wolfwood's head cocks to the side, smiling with assurance, cheeks flushed. Vash looks at him with a wide smile and fond, loving eyes. The confetti flows across the bottom of this page and as it eases into the next page, it starts to disappear.

Vash responds, ".. Yeah... I do..." as he pulls Wolfwood into a hug again. Wolfwood says, "Not going to run away anymore, are you?" Vash says, "No... I trust you." A panel shows Wolfwood's turning away slightly with a shy expression, muttering "Geez..."

In a more simplified style, Wolfwood is seen gripping Vash's cheeks now with his hand, "Though... You do remember you avoided me for two weeks straight, right? How are you going to make that up to me?" Wolfwood asks. Vash responds with eyes closed and a pucker of his lips. A vein of irritation appears on Wolfwood's face. Wolfwood starts to squeeze at Vash's cheek with both hands, shouting, "Now that you've recovered, you're trying to be funny, huh?!" Vash says through the squished cheeks, "I'm just happy..."

The next page opens with a closed up panel of Vash's widen eye as Wolfwood's hand moves from squishing his cheeks to gently holding them and Wolfwood leans in. The inner thoughts starts again, "There's a chance I'm not making the right choice... My dreams, my fears of losing you, it will never go away. But you said you won't let it happen... And I want to hang onto your words closely this time. After all, if it's anyone who can make me believe, it's you." The white ribbon from previous pages flows across the page and it visibly ends at the bottom of the page, enclosing the two of them as they share a gentle kiss with Vash holding Wolfwood's face, a tear in his eye.

The next pages starts with Wolfwood saying, "You cryin' again?" Vash responds, "I'm just grateful..." Wolfwood responds, "But you've always had me." Vash responds, "Being like this is different from staring at you from behind all the time though..." The two can be seen together again, Wolfwood pressing his elbows against the table with Vash leaning over him. Wolfwood is easing the tears out of Vash's eye again, just like earlier. A close panel of Vash's fond expression is seen as he says, "Thank you, Wolfwood." Wolfwood looks up at him with a small smile, gentle eyes. Confetti starts to flow lightly across the page as text starts to appear against the white background, "I'm the one who's grateful...

That you'd embrace someone like me, when I'm not fit to hold you in the first place... But I know better than to hesitate. The moment I acknowledged it, I knew I'd spend the rest of my life loving you. So, have as much of me as you want, Vash."

The final page shows the confetti gently falling down the page and at the bottom shows Vash and Wolfwood pressing their foreheads together, Wolfwood's hands cupping the side of Vash's face gently, and both of them smiling brightly with each other. ID END]