#hands shaking..... creating lore and mythology....

[rainforestakiie]

hi! i am back with part 03 of Promised Soul! so happy i got it posted! i will be writing your ask next @lilacwriter07 i do hope you've enjoyed this AU so far! everyone has been so nice!

this is an adamapple fic placed in the omegaverse. there is so much lucifer in this chapter, finally! lucifer was inspired by @inubaki's Naga lucifer!

Promised Soul (Omegaverse Mythology AU) = Part 01. Part 02. Part 03. Part 04.

The massive head of Quetzalcoatl loomed over the stairs; its stone visage larger than Adam’s entire body. It jutted out from the smooth side of the temple, surrounded by intricate feather-like carvings that framed the god's crocodilian face. Adam paused beside it, captivated by the beauty and craftsmanship. The details were far more exquisite than those he had seen on the walls below; each feather and scale was etched into the golden stone with a precision that seemed almost divine.

As Adam’s eyes drifted upward, he marvelled at the sudden surge of energy coursing through him. The moment he stepped onto the first stair, it was as if an unseen force was propelling him forward, allowing him to ascend each step effortlessly. It was maddening how he could keep going without breaking a sweat. Now, so high up that the entire layout of Pentagram City unfolded beneath him, Adam understood for the first time why the city bore its name—the streets and buildings formed a perfect pentagram.

He squinted towards the point that contained Eden and his family, spotting the eternal flames of the Phoenixs even from this great height. A pang of doubt gnawed at him as he wondered what his family would say if they knew what he was doing, defying the sacred temple in such a blasphemous way. If the Jorōgumo caught him, his life would be torn away in the most horrific manner. Would his clan even mourn his loss?

Shaking off the melancholy thoughts, Adam turned his gaze back to the carved face of Quetzalcoatl, releasing a soft sigh. The sides of the stairs were lined with emerald stones, reminiscent of the emerald bones Quetzalcoatl had used to create the first humans, animals, and gods according to their ancient lore. Adam reached out, brushing his fingers over the smooth surface of the emeralds. The story in their textbooks told of Quetzalcoatl’s journey to the underworld, where he gathered the emerald bones of men, women, and animals, but in his haste to return to the middle realm, he accidentally mixed them up, giving birth to their current world.

Tilting his head back, Adam stared up at the remaining steps. He still had a long way to go, and time was running out. He needed to reach the top before sunrise, or risk being spotted by the ever-watchful Jorōgumo. The thought of what might happen if he were caught flitted through his mind—would they devour him on the spot or hand him over to the Red Caps? The Red Caps were a gruesome breed, notorious for spilling blood just to keep their hats crimson. They were relentless killers, driven by the belief that the blood on their caps had to remain fresh at all costs. Lilith had once mentioned that if the Jorōgumo didn’t want to feast on a captured traitor, they would throw them to the Red Caps.

But the strange ache within him, the one that had been urging him onward, was growing stronger, pulling him up the steps with an almost magnetic force. His fragile body should have been aching, but he felt nothing but the burning need to reach the temple’s peak. He didn’t fully understand what he was feeling or why this overwhelming compulsion was driving him to such reckless heights, but he couldn’t stop himself. The closer he got to the sacred structure at the top, the more determined he became.

As the sky began to lighten and the first rays of the sun crept up behind him, Adam found himself nearing the summit. Pride swelled in his chest as he realized how far he had come. He pulled himself up what he thought was another step, only to find that he had reached the top.

Panting softly, Adam flipped himself over and let his legs dangle over the edge of the platform. He wiggled his feet, feeling an exhilarating mix of exhaustion and triumph. As the sun rose, casting a golden glow across Pentagram City, Adam’s breath caught in his throat. He had never seen anything so beautiful, so full of life. The city below, bathed in the light of dawn, seemed almost magical, as if the world had come alive just for him.

Adam lingered for a few moments, savouring the view despite the danger that might lurk below. He knew that staying in one place could make him an easy target for the Jorōgumo, but he hoped his altitude would keep him out of sight. Yet, the gnawing sensation deep in his chest returned, this time with a force that nearly took his breath away. A shiver ran through him, compelling him to sit up straight as an inexplicable urge drew him toward the temple.

It was as if the very force beckoning him knew he was idling just outside the door...

Adam wiped the back of his hand across his nose and forced himself to his feet, casting a final, wistful glance over Pentagram City before turning toward the temple's grand archway. The structure before him was breathtaking, a marvel of gold, red, and green. Emerald stones embedded in the temple walls glistened even more brilliantly as the sun crept higher in the sky. From this height, the temple's box-like structure appeared far more massive than it had from below, looming above him with an archway that resembled a gaping, cavernous mouth.

Adam trembled, his fingers knotting together in nervous anticipation. He had ventured farther than any creature from Pentagram City had dared. Slowly, he inched forward, the warmth of the temple’s stones seeping through his boots. He squinted against the sunlight as he approached the golden-framed archway, tentatively raising his hands to touch the gilded stones. Peering inside, he saw the sunlight flooding the temple, illuminating its exquisite murals—depictions of Quetzalcoatl himself. With nothing but the sparkling ruby pillars supporting the ceiling, Adam hesitated before stepping inside.

His gaze was immediately drawn to the paintings of Quetzalcoatl. His breath caught in his throat as he studied the mural, which dominated the main wall of the temple, a testament to the deity’s grandeur. Quetzalcoatl’s serpentine form was resplendent, his body adorned with emerald and gold scales, a stripe of lime green feathers running down his back like a soft plume. His underbelly shimmered with warmer hues of gold, orange, and red. The deity’s face, a blend of dragon and bird, was framed by a magnificent mane of rainbow feathers—blue, red, green, yellow, pink—every colour Adam had ever known. But what truly captivated him were the six glorious wings that stretched out from Quetzalcoatl’s long body, surrounding it in a halo of divine power.

And beneath Quetzalcoatl's body...were seven egg-like objects?

Adam tilted his head in curiosity, unconsciously stepping backward. Eggs? Why would Quetzalcoatl have eggs? Had the god consumed eggs during his time in the mortal realm? Just as the thought crossed his mind, Adam’s back brushed against something that was most certainly not stone.

It was warm. Very warm, but not unpleasant—quite the opposite, in fact. The warmth was comforting, inviting even, and Adam felt an almost irresistible urge to curl into it. As his back pressed against the solid form, his hands flew out to touch it, encountering softness and a series of feathery ridges beneath his fingers. But he resisted the urge to snuggle in, because whatever he was touching...was moving. The body beneath his hands was slowly breathing, its breaths shallow and rhythmic.

Adam’s eyes widened, his face draining of colour as fear wrapped its icy tendrils around his heart. He took a step forward, balancing on the balls of his feet, and slowly turned around. His body shuddered with dread, his eyes growing even wider, his jaw clenching in terror.

It wasn’t a wall at all. No, it was a massive, coiled body, its full-length filling nearly the entire temple chamber. Adam couldn’t see the creature’s head or tail, but the sheer size of the body made him feel as insignificant as an ant. What he had assumed to be wings were folded tightly against the creature’s serpentine form, draped over it like a protective blanket. Soft blue and white scales lined the top of the body, while crimson feathers adorned its back.

Adam swallowed hard, his body trembling as he tried to retreat without making a sound. But in his panic, he backed into a row of waist-high ruby pillars, each topped with an emerald stone. One of the stones toppled to the ground with a resounding clank. Breath hitching, Adam scrambled to retrieve the emerald, running his hands over it to check for damage before hurriedly placing it back.

The shallow breathing had ceased. Adam’s heart plummeted as he turned to face the once-slumbering serpent. The massive body twitched, then slowly began to unfurl. Huge wings stretched out wide, and a monstrous, dragon-like head rose from the coils of its own body. Glittering gold and red eyes narrowed down at Adam, the creature’s wings spreading with a deep, rumbling sound that sent shivers down his spine.

It was...it was...

“Q-Quetzalcoatl?” Adam stammered, trembling.

A deep, resonant voice rumbled from the serpent as Adam’s voice echoed through the temple, causing him to flinch.

“Not quite,” the serpent replied. “That’s my father.”

“F-Father?” Adam stuttered in disbelief. “Quetzalcoatl has children?”

The serpent let out a snort of amusement before twisting its massive body. It dove back into the nest of its own coils, but as it did so, the enormous form began to shrink. Adam watched in awe as the snake god’s body diminished in size until it was nearly as small as Adam himself. The creature’s form coiled tightly before a humanoid figure emerged in its place, pale arms crossing over its snake-like tail, chin propped on top.

"I believe I've mentioned that before, Adam," the man murmured, his voice laced with smug satisfaction, a sly grin curling on his cherry-red lips as he regarded the failed Phoenix Omega with an amused glint in his eyes.

Adam could only stare in disbelief, his mouth opening and closing like a fish pulled from the depths. The man before him bore familiar golden curls, crowned like a twisted halo atop his head, with two prominent tufts reminiscent of horns. His lips, lush and stained a deep, sultry red, contrasted strikingly against his mismatched eyes—one a molten gold, the other a burning crimson. From his wrists, black and green claws, framed by a cascade of crimson feathers. Further down, emerald and ruby feathers peeked seductively from his hips, forming a long, sinuous tail where his legs should have been. The tail was a mesmerizing tapestry of blue, red, and white scales, blending seamlessly into his serpentine form.

“You're real?!” Adam choked out, his voice a strained screech as he pointed a trembling finger at the ethereal being before him. “You weren’t just a figment of my imagination?!”

The man threw his head back, a rich, melodious laugh echoing through the chamber, deepening the flush of the crimson circles on his cheeks. “Sorry to shatter your illusions, but I am very much real.”

“You are?” Adam's voice wavered, barely more than a whisper. “You’re real, and...and you’re here? Here? You’re the—the what?”

The man tilted his head, an endearing gesture as he nestled deeper into the plush embrace of his tail. “Son of Quetzalcoatl. The youngest child, to be precise.”

“Y-Youngest child of…” Adam faltered, raising a hand to his temple as confusion swirled within him. “This can’t be real... Did I hit my head? Did the Jorōgumo catch me? Did Lilith kill me and I’m—I'm dead?”

A soft hum fluttered from the man's cherry-red lips as he tilted his head skyward, parting those tempting lips to release a sound so mesmerizing it could make the Sirens of the Black Lake envious. The man's eyes fluttered shut as an enchanting melody danced off his tongue, wrapping itself around Adam, binding him in its spell. The song was sweet and beguiling, twirling through the temple and causing the emerald stones to glow with an otherworldly light. The soft green and red feathers adorning the man's body shuddered, standing on end as he sang.

Adam found himself irresistibly drawn closer, his heart skipping a beat. As the man’s lullaby ended, Adam’s gaze was caught in the deep, entrancing pools of the man’s golden and crimson eyes.

"You sang that to me before..." Adam whispered, the memory stirring in his heart. "When I was a child."

"Indeed," the man replied tenderly. "You were crying. Do you remember me now?"

Adam nodded slowly, his legs giving way beneath him as he sank to his knees before the feathered serpent's beauty. "I thought you were a dream... Everyone told me there was no such thing as a feathered Naga. I searched for you, I never stopped looking, but..."

"I told you then, I had to return home," the man said softly, his long serpentine form beginning to unfurl from its nest-like coil. He raised himself, towering above Adam, and slithered closer, lowering his face to Adam's. "It seems you don't remember everything after all."

"I..." Adam bit his lip, uncertainty clouding his thoughts. "I was young and emotional. I convinced myself you were nothing more than a comforting dream."

A disappointed click of the man’s tongue cut through the air, though a fleeting look of regret passed through his pretty eyes. But it was quickly replaced by a determined gaze. He raised his black and green clawed hands, lightly cupping Adam’s cheeks, forcing the trembling Omega to meet his gaze once more.

"I wasn’t allowed to linger in the mortal realm for long. I could only stay until I had chosen my intended mate. Then I had to return to the higher realm, where I slumbered for five years, before descending to the underworld for the final years of my journey."

Adam swallowed thickly, feeling the heat of the man's touch seeping into his skin, his heart pounding in his chest. Mate... The word echoed in his mind, sparking a memory long buried.

"Now, tell me, Adam," the man’s voice slithered into his ears, sweet as honey yet tinged with a serpentine hiss. Adam’s eyes were drawn to the man’s forked tongue as it flickered out, teasing his cherry-red lips. "Do you remember my name? Even after I warned you never to forget?"

He couldn’t look away, the man’s face inching closer, his golden and ruby eyes hooded, pupils dilated, trapping Adam in a gaze that left him paralyzed.

"Say my name, Adam," the man whispered, his forked tongue brushing against Adam's lips, sending a shiver down his spine.

"...Lucifer..." Adam breathed out, his voice barely audible.

A sharp, wicked grin spread across Lucifer’s lips, his eyes crinkling at the corners in delight. The end of his feathered, rattling tail quivered with pleasure, his sharp clawed fingers stroking the soft curve of Adam's cheeks.

"Good boy," Lucifer cooed, nuzzling his face against Adam's. His hands held Adam's face still as he brought his lips dangerously close. "Now for your reward~"

"My reward?" Adam whimpered, his breath hitching.

Without another moment’s hesitation, Lucifer claimed Adam’s lips in a kiss. The soft, plumpness of those cherry-red lips sent a tingling sensation washing over Adam, making him quiver. Lucifer’s kiss was gentle at first, a sweet caress of lips, as he began to coil his serpentine body around Adam, not quite touching him but forming a coiling nest around him, leaving no escape should Adam try to flee.

Lucifer’s sharp fangs grazed Adam’s bottom lip, capturing it between his own lips and sucking softly, before slipping back to deepen the kiss. His forked tongue flickered against Adam's lips, a teasing request for entry, as the serpent's embrace tightened, holding Adam close within his seductive grasp.

Cradling Adam's flushed cheeks, Lucifer’s sinuous tongue persisted in its quest, licking insistently for entry until the tip of his tail slithered with serpentine grace behind Adam. It trailed along the nape of his neck, purposely brushing Adam’s Omega glands and sending a shiver racing down Adam’s spine. In that moment of unexpected contact, Adam jerked with a startled squeal. The sound was swiftly silenced as Lucifer’s tongue took advantage of the parted lips, slipping into the now open haven of Adam's mouth.

Adam shuddered violently, his back arching at the unfamiliar sensation of Lucifer’s forked tongue exploring him. The tongue traced the contours of Adam’s own, a possessive dance that claimed every inch of his mouth as its territory. Finally, Lucifer withdrew, pulling back just enough to leave a thick, glistening bridge of saliva connecting their rosy lips, a testament to the intimate invasion.

"You... y-you kissed me..." Adam panted, his voice trembling, his face an uncharacteristic shade of red.

Lucifer's grin widened with delight as he leaned in to steal another quick, playful kiss. "Mates kiss, Adam. They kiss all the time."

"Well, um, y-yeah, but I'm—not—why would you want to kiss me?" Adam stammered, his words stumbling over each other as an unexpected bashfulness crept over him. His mind was a whirl of confusion, and though he couldn’t see it, an instinctive sense of danger began to close in around him, tightening like a noose.

Lucifer's hands continued to cradle Adam’s cheeks, a soft rattle-purr emanating from his feathered tail. "Because you are my mate, Adam. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten that, too? You’ve been mine for ten years now, Addie~"

A shaky gasp escaped Adam's lips as Lucifer’s rattling tail continued its teasingly caress, sliding up and down his spine, brushing repeatedly against the Omega glands at the back of his neck—glands that had remained untouched for years, now throbbing with a newfound sensitivity.

Lucifer tugged Adam closer, pulling him into an embrace that forced the Phoenix Omega to rise onto the tips of his toes. Adam's hands instinctively shot up, grasping onto Lucifer’s wrists for balance, especially as Lucifer pressed their lips together once more, sealing their connection with another deep, intoxicating kiss.

It was nice. Maybe too good. Adam found himself melting into the kiss, sighing pleasantly and even beginning to try and kiss back. He stretched himself onto the tip of his toes further and push his lips back against Lucifer’s.

The sense of being wanted. The feeling that somebody out there wanted to mate with him, wanted Adam to be their Omega, had him warming up. A wetness formed between his thighs, making him rub them together.

Breaking the kiss, Adam was dazed and needy. He’s eyes were dilated and glassy, large and reflective. Lucifer purred, brushing his fingers over Adam’s cheeks with an even wider smirk. His long serpent body rattled, and he swiftly swirled himself around Adam’s body, caging the failed Omega against him. Lucifer’s clawed hands crossed over Adam’s chest, rubbing the hidden flesh through his sweater. His sharp claws pinching at the cotton fabric, slicing the threads little by little.

“Addie~” he sang teasingly, nuzzling his face into the Omega’s neck. His lips ghosted along the warm skin and soon his tongue licked across the exposed mating glands, making Adam gasp. “I can smell your slick~”

“My – my what?” Adam squawked, blinking his eyes furiously. His heart skipped a beat as he shakingly took in the sight of the feather and scaly snake body had coiled itself around him.

A hungry giggle escaped the feathered serpent Nephilim. Lucifer tilted his head, allowing his long fork-tongue to slither out. He ran it down Adam’s throat, tracing the macules and flickering at the collar of Adam’s sweater.

“Your slick. It’s strong.” Lucifer cooed, his right clawed hand crawling down Adam’s front and stroking his stomach. “It smells divine, it’s making my mouth water~”

Adam squirmed immediately as the wetness between his legs intensified. So that must be ‘slick’ and gosh, his face warmed up at the words. He quivered as Lucifer’s other hand continued to caress his chest through the fabrics, Adam’s eyes falling to watch the two hands anxiously. A knot began to form within his gut and his breath hitched further as Lucifer’s right hand sunk further down, sliding over his stomach fully and rest just above the area that contained Adam’s Omega-hood.

Releasing a range of rattle purrs, Lucifer continued to lick at Adam’s neck. His lips brushing repeatedly against the untouched Omega glands, enjoying the way his mate gasped and trembled from the actions. The clawed hand that was sneaking down Adam’s body finally reached the flimsy waistband of his mate’s black pyjama pants but instead of using inside like Lucifer originally aimed for, he immediately cupped Adam through his trousers.

A startled yelp escaped Adam, and he squirmed even more within the snake coiled grip, but Lucifer held tightly and secured. A wave of something new washed over Adam’s body as Lucifer abruptly began to rub his hand firmly between his legs, giggling as Adam reacted to the actions with delight.

Taking advantage of Adam’s reaction, Lucifer’s other hand slipped underneath Adam’s sweater. All the hairs upon Adam’s body stood up on end as Lucifer’s hand touched his chest somewhat aggressively.

“You’re so cute, Addie~” Lucifer hummed, resting his chin on Adam’s shoulder. “I’ve been dreaming of the day I get my hands on you~”

Adam’s breath hitched, making his throat burn and his eyes grow so wide that he feared they would pop out. His hips arched as Lucifer continued to caress him between his thighs, his legs trembled and the tingling knot deep inside his gut increased, growing tighter and tighter.

“You have? But why?” Adam gasped, his own mouth beginning to water with too much saliva. Where did it all come from?

A laugh bubbled from Lucifer, the pretty feathers of his body fluttering and scales glittering. Lucifer nuzzled his face into Adam’s throat again, pressing butterfly kisses along the soft flesh. “I don’t know what it is for you mortals, but for ones like myself, we mate for life. We can only court once in our lives. The moment I scented you, I committed my full soul, heart and body to you and you alone~”

“Oh…” Adam began quietly.

Smirking widely, Lucifer’s long fangs peeking out from his cherry-red lips, his hands continued to fondle his adorable mate. He pulled Adam’s sweater up, forcing his chest to be exposed and immediately grabbed the right breast. While his long-wet tongue extended over his shoulder and began to lick at the left breast. His eyes crinkled at the corners and became hooded with desire, the taste of Adam’s flesh was delicious. So much better than he could ever have imagined.

Licking his lips with a hiss, Lucifer twisted himself around Adam’s left side, slithering himself underneath Adam’s arm. His lips contacted the exposed skin and Adam released an embarrassing cry. He kissed softly the tender skin, rolling his tongue across the skin and even sucking a little.

Adam wheezed and clenched his teeth together, unsure of what to do. It felt good but it was all so overwhelming and making Adam feel rather lightheaded. It was just yesterday morning that Adam was depressed and heartbroken, thinking the only person who he could ever be with didn’t want him at all but now, hours later, he was tangled up and being touched by his apparent mate.

Lucifer gazed up at Adam’s face as he sucked upon the exposed flesh. A dark glint appeared within his gold and ruby eyes; the hand nested between Adam’s legs slid upward. He dipped his hand down his trousers and touching him again. Lucifer purred when Adam jumped in surprise and released a rather loud moan.

“You sound so pretty~” Lucifer purred, working Adam over tenderly and delicately. “You sound so nice, Addie. You really do.”

With another cry, Adam’s hips arched and everything inside him jolted. The tight knot unravelled vastly, leaving Adam out of breath and shaking. His vision blurred, stars shimmering across his sight.

With a devilish grin, Lucifer pressed closer to Adam's neck, his lips grazing the delicate Omega glands, sending shivers down Adam's spine. His grip softened, transforming into a tender embrace as he cradled the fallen Phoenix Omega in his arms. The serpent godling's sinuous form coiled around Adam, caressing his neck with gentle nuzzles that trailed upward, their cheeks brushing in an intimate dance. Lucifer’s intoxicating pheromones enveloped Adam, marking him as his own, a possessive and primal act of claim.

Adam’s vision blurred, his body a blend of numbness and warmth. As Lucifer captured his lips in a kiss, it was sweet, tender, and brimming with a gentleness that contrasted his usual cruel demeanour. When their lips parted, the sharp, predatory smirk that usually adorned Lucifer’s face melted into something softer, more affectionate—a loving smile that radiated from his captivating eyes. A low, purring rattle emanated from Lucifer, a sound akin to a contented serpent, as his golden curls shimmered with vibrant, iridescent feathers that fanned out like a hummingbird’s wings. Adam’s breath caught in his throat, utterly entranced by the ethereal beauty of the feathered serpent godling before him.

But then, a sudden gust of fresh air swept through the temple, dispelling the stifling heat and Lucifer's enchanting pheromones. Adam blinked, his senses slowly returning as the sacred stones were cleansed by the breeze. He squinted, glancing around in confusion as clarity and fear crept back into his mind.

Oh Quetzalcoatl... What had he done? What had he allowed himself to be swept into?

He had broken the sacred laws of Pentagram City, trespassed onto sacrificial grounds, and ascended the temple of Quetzalcoatl. He had committed treason, and the consequences would be severe—he would be torn apart if he descended. The Jorogumo warriors were likely already lying in wait, ready to capture him and exact their cruel retribution.

Worse still, he had desecrated the temple of Quetzalcoatl. He had allowed himself to indulge in something forbidden, something sacred. Lucifer could very well be the divine offspring of Quetzalcoatl himself, a holy being sent to deliver the next stage of destiny to Pentagram City. If Quetzalcoatl had not returned in his own form but sent his Nephilim son instead, it meant Lucifer was to fulfil this year's covenant with the people. And Adam... Adam had touched him, kissed him, allowed himself to be marked by him.

Holy gods. He was doomed. He had practically defiled Lucifer in the eyes of the elders! The punishment would be swift and merciless. They would deem him unworthy, a failed Phoenix, an unfit Omega, and he would be executed so Lucifer could find a more suitable mate.

Lucifer, who had been nuzzling into Adam with blissful contentment, barely had time to register Adam’s sudden panic. His golden and ruby eyes widened in surprise, round as an owl’s, as he tumbled to the temple floor in a dishevelled heap of serpentine coils and puffed-out feathers.

"Adam?" he called out, confusion lacing his voice as he pushed himself up from the stones, his sharp fangs glinting as they protruded from his lips. "Adam?"

The failed Phoenix stumbled to a halt in the archway, his gaze lingering on Lucifer as he bit his bottom lip. This was everything he had ever dreamed of— the boy who had promised to be his mate returning to fulfill that promise, a chosen mate who was more than he could have ever hoped for, a god himself. He yearned to return to Lucifer's warm embrace, but fear gripped him—fear of what Pentagram City would do to him once they discovered his transgression with Lucifer.

With a thick swallow, Adam turned and ran through the archway, his heart pounding with anxiety. The burning light of the sun blinded him, but he refused to look down at the walls, terrified of seeing the Jorōgumo warriors readying themselves to capture him. All he could think of was getting home, back to his flat where he could hide away, lick his wounds, and nurse his second broken heart. He would dream of the mate and the love he could have had if only he had been worthying.

Lucifer watched Adam flee, a disappointed growl rumbling deep in his throat. It took only moments for him to untangle his serpentine body, his clawed hands smoothing down his feathers as he straightened. His eyes narrowed as he caught sight of his right claw—the one he had used to caress Adam—and he brought his finger to his lips, licking it thoughtfully.

Adam had rejected him? Adam had run away from him? No. Absolutely not. That wasn’t allowed. Adam was his. Adam was his mate. He wasn’t allowed to change his mind. Lucifer’s blood and soul screamed for only one mate, and he had chosen Adam.

With a determined huff, Lucifer licked his fingers clean and slithered toward the archway, the bright sunlight barely fazing him as he poked his head out, gazing over the city his father had created.

“So, this is Pentagram City?” he clicked his tongue in distaste. “I expected something bigger.”

Lucifer's skin crackled and snapped, a sinister symphony echoing down the winding staircase as his eyes narrowed, sharp and unforgiving. His fork-tipped tongue slipped out like a serpent’s kiss, tasting the air, while the tip of his tail rattled with anticipation. Through the dim light, he glimpsed the silhouette of Adam, hastily descending the golden steps, his every movement betraying his desperation.

With a sudden, violent twitch, Lucifer's body surged, and from his back erupted six magnificent wings, their beauty both terrifying and divine. They stretched out along his spine, extending all the way to the base of his rattle-tailed form, a display of dark splendor. A low, rumbling purr escaped his lips as his clawed hands curled around the edge of the top step. Leaning forward, his shoulders rose, framing his face as his blood-red eyes flared with predatory hunger. The spider-like women clinging to the walls of his father’s domain caught his gaze, their presence only deepening his hunger.

"Ah," he murmured, arching his wings wide, feeling the power ripple through them as he tested their strength. It had been far too long since he had flown in this form, a form both glorious and deadly. "Adam’s about to stumble into a web of trouble, and I haven’t feasted in such a long time..."

With a graceful, effortless motion, Lucifer launched himself into the sky. His wings beat with a speed that outpaced a bullet, carrying him swiftly through the air, unseen and unstoppable. For whom could ever hope to spot the Nephilim coming? After all, Lucifer was the very child of the winds, an omen of doom that none could escape.

~#~

It was a strange sensation, one that Adam couldn’t quite explain. An inexplicable surge of energy pulsed through him, propelling his legs faster than they’d ever moved before. He leaped down the temple steps, his skin tingling with a sense of foreboding, as if unseen eyes were watching him from above. Yet, every time he glanced upward, he found nothing but darkness.

The failed Phoenix dashed across the sacrificial grounds, his heart pounding in his chest. He sprinted straight through the night sky's twinkling pathway, eyes fixed on the ancient wall of Quetzalcoatl. His throat burned, his nostrils flaring as if inhaling fire. Suddenly, a chill sliced through him when he glimpsed the silhouette of a Jorōgumo warrior near the wall. But as he drew closer, the shadowy figure vanished as though it had never been there. Had he looked more closely, he might have noticed the fresh blood staining the ground beneath his feet, but fear blinded him to the signs.

His heart raced, pounding a relentless rhythm in his chest, urging him not to stop. And so he didn’t. He skidded forward, dropping to his knees, scrambling across the cold stone. Unaware, he crawled beneath the statue of Quetzalcoatl, his hands outstretched, reaching for safety. Just as he pulled himself through, the waiting Jorōgumo warrior, hidden in the shadows, barely had time to scream before being snatched away by a blur in the sky. Adam blinked in confusion; his breath ragged as he glanced around.

"Where did all the Jorōgumo go?" he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, wincing as his fingers brushed over his sensitive Omega glands. Startled, he jerked his hand away, stumbling to his feet, and began to speed walk toward the border of Pentagram City.

"Maybe they didn’t notice me," he whispered to himself, picking up his pace.

 His eyes brightened as he spotted other creatures of the city going about their daily business. It seemed no one had noticed him sneaking past the walls. Maybe he really was lucky! Perhaps Lilith herself had taken pity on him, distracting her clan just long enough for him to slip by unnoticed.

Unbeknownst to Adam, the Jorōgumo warriors were being silently picked off behind him, one by one, by a shadowy figure darting through the sky. Oblivious to the chaos, he zigzagged through Pentagram City, his legs burning as he jogged past the crowds. His ears rang with the echo of his own heartbeat, so heavy and fast that it made him dizzy. But still, Adam didn’t pause, driven by a desperate need to return to the safety of his rundown flat.

When his apartment building finally came into view, Adam nearly wept with relief. His eyes glistened with tears as he slowed to a walk, sweat trickling down his clammy skin. He leaned over, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. But his relief was short-lived. A cold dread washed over him as he felt a hand on his backside.

Adam's eyes widened in horror as he shot upright and spun around, only to find himself face-to-face with the seedy Alpha Minotaur. The very same Alpha who delighted in stalking him, his eyes gleaming with sinister intent.

"Not today," Adam choked out, his chest still heaving as he tried to push past the brute. "I'm in no mood for your bullshit."

"That's a bit harsh," the Minotaur growled, his voice a smoky rumble that sent a shiver through Adam's spine. His massive, calloused hand clamped around Adam's arm, effortlessly pulling him closer. "Considering I'm your last shot at any kind of courtship, don’t you think you should be a little sweeter to me?"

Adam stared; disbelief plastered across his face. The audacity of this asshole. He struggled in vain to break free from the Minotaur’s iron grip. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I heard all about the Jorōgumo turning you down. I tried to warn you," the Alpha murmured with a smug smile, leaning in close to exhale a cloud of musky breath across Adam’s face. "A Jorōgumo would never go for something as weak and delicate as you."

Ignoring the sting of the insult, Adam glared at the Alpha Minotaur, his eyes dark with anger. "Let. Go. Of. Me."

"I’m offering you a chance—what every Omega dreams of. I’m a strong Alpha, I could take real good care of you!" The Minotaur’s grip tightened around Adam’s slender arm. "Better than that spider freak, anyway."

Adam swallowed the growl rising in his throat, still struggling to wrench his arm free. "Fuck off!"

"Oh, you’ve got spirit!" the Minotaur bellowed with laughter, finally releasing Adam and sending the Phoenix Omega stumbling backward. "You’ll come around eventually. They always do."

Disgust twisted Adam's features as he sneered. "I might be unwanted by nearly everyone in Pentagram City, but even I have standards. Even I, a failed Phoenix, deserve better than a fuckhead like you!"

Without giving the Minotaur a chance to respond, Adam spun on his heel and stormed away. His eyes began to sting with unshed tears, but he refused to cry in front of that asshole Alpha. His arm throbbed from the Minotaur’s grip, but Adam was damned if he’d let that assclown know he’d hurt him. No fucking way.

As he approached his apartment building, something slithered down from above, and in an instant, the Minotaur was yanked into the air by his horns. His startled scream was cut off before it could even begin.

Adam all but collapsed against the door, his chest heaving as he stared blankly at his dimly lit flat. The tension in his body began to unravel, and he slowly slid down the door until his backside hit the floor, his head resting heavily against the wood behind him. Safe at last, surrounded by the familiar shadows of his home, Adam found himself drawn irresistibly to his comfort nest.

He crawled across the floor, each movement more desperate than the last, until he reached the nest of tangled sheets and blankets. With a swift, almost frantic motion, he threw himself into it, cocooning his trembling body within the soft layers.

As he lay there, the tension slowly drained from his stiff muscles, and the whirlwind of emotions he'd been holding at bay finally surged forward. The memories of the past few hours crashed down on him, leaving him breathless. A childish squeal of disbelief escaped his lips as he covered his face with both hands, rolling onto his side and curling into a tight ball.

"Holy shit," he whispered, peeking through his fingers as if the darkness might somehow confirm the impossible. "Did that really happen?"

Had he truly ventured all the way to the temple? Had he really committed treason, defying every law he knew, and scaled the temple’s sacred crown? And more unbelievable still—had he stood before the Godling of Quetzalcoatl, the Nephilim himself? Was any of it real?

Had he really met Lucifer? And had Lucifer truly touched him like that?

Adam's breath hitched, his disbelief mounting with every question. Could the kind boy he’d met all those years ago have been the Nephilim of Quetzalcoatl?

His breath shook, a tremor of doubt seeping into his thoughts. There was no way it had all happened... right? It had to be in his head. Maybe he’d never left his nest, and all of it had just been some vivid, twisted dream. That seemed more likely, but then…there was wetness still between his legs. The evidence was still inside his pyjamas.

Adam groaned, squeezing his eyes shut, desperate to believe it had all been a dream. His heart pounded with worry because if it wasn’t… he had pushed Lucifer away and fled like a coward. Who knew what the Nephilim would do now?

As he nestled deeper into the comforting embrace of his nest, the exhaustion of being up all night finally caught up with him. His thoughts began to blur, his breathing gradually slowing as sleep claimed him. How long he slept, he couldn’t say, but when he awoke, the light outside his grimy windows was already fading into twilight.

Whining softly, Adam rubbed his tired eyes and sat up, his hair a tousled mess. Even after sleeping, he still felt drained, as if he could easily slip back into slumber. But something wasn’t right. What had woken him up? The flat looked as it always did, nothing out of place.

Shrugging off the unease, Adam lay back down, burrowing into his blankets once more. Just as he was about to drift off again, a faint tapping reached the edge of his consciousness. At first, he ignored it, thinking it was just the rain. But the sound persisted, almost rhythmic in nature.

His eyes snapped open, annoyance bubbling up as he sat up and listened more intently. The tapping was coming from his window? But even with the shoddy glass, Adam could tell there was nothing on the other side—not even a drop of rain. His brows furrowed in confusion as he crawled toward the wall, yawning and accidentally bumping his forehead against the cold surface.

Groaning, Adam rubbed his forehead before pulling himself to his feet. He grumbled under his breath as he repeated his usual morning ritual, tugging at the stiff, worn-out latch. The hinges creaked loudly in protest as he forced the window open.

He peered out into the darkening city, stretching out a hand to feel for rain, but there was nothing. His head lolled against the window frame, his eyelids growing heavy again. There was nothing out there, and he was so tired—he could just doze off like this and—

"Hi, Adam!"

Adam’s eyes flew open in shock, freezing in place as a face suddenly appeared inches from his own. Black and green claws gripped the top of the window, and a familiar, mischievous head hung upside down, grinning at him.

Adam stared into Lucifer’s ruby and golden eyes, his groggy mind struggling to catch up. Lucifer? It was Lucifer! The Nephilim of Quetzalcoatl! His supposed mate—the one Adam had shoved away and abandoned at the temple. A startled yelp escaped his throat as he stumbled backward, landing on his backside. Meanwhile, Lucifer, with impressive agility, wiggled through the small window, his grin never faltering. The Nephilim slipped inside, his long tail snaking in after him, rattling as it stretched all the way across the room, revealing just how unnervingly long it was.

"You have wings?!" Adam squawked in surprise, his voice breaking.

Lucifer hummed contentedly, his twinkling eyes surveying the room until they settled on Adam's nest. A wide grin spread across his face as he immediately slithered toward it, nuzzling himself into the makeshift walls of pillows, cushions, and sheets.

"Hmm?" Lucifer murmured, patting down the pillows as his six wings fluttered on either side of him. "Of course I do~ All my brothers and sisters have Father's wings~"

Adam crawled backward until his back hit the wall, his eyes wide with shock. "You… You didn’t have them before."

"I can retract them!" Lucifer replied cheerfully, his wings suddenly straightening before folding back into his body, disappearing seamlessly into the feathers and scales. "See~"

Adam opened his mouth to respond but clamped it shut, his gaze shifting awkwardly—until he noticed something alarming. Red liquid. Everywhere. His eyes widened as he followed the trail of crimson from the floor to the walls, and finally, to his nest.

"You’re covered in blood!" he exclaimed, his voice tinged with panic.

Cuddling an emerald, green pillow close to his chest, Lucifer buried his face in it, inhaling deeply. He snuggled the pillow and peered at Adam with half-lidded eyes. "Don’t worry. It’s not my blood."

Resisting the urge to snatch back his favourite pillow, Adam frowned deeply. "Whose blood, is it?"

"Ah, those Jorōgumo. They were planning to ambush you, but don’t worry! I dealt with them!" Lucifer chirped, his feathers fluffing up and the tip of his tail rattling with satisfaction. "Oh, and that annoying Alpha Minotaur. He touched what’s mine, and I don’t like sharing. So, I dealt with him too!"

It was as if Adam’s brain short-circuited at Lucifer’s unnervingly gleeful response. He blinked a few times, his mouth opening to speak but then clamping shut again. His gaze remained locked on Lucifer, who stared back at him while clutching Adam's favorite green pillow. Did Lucifer know it was Adam's favorite? Was that why the Nephilim held it so tightly, pressing his cheek against it and—was he sniffing it repeatedly?

"When you say you dealt with them…" Adam’s voice wavered as he asked.

Lucifer’s smirk widened, almost unnervingly, until he seemed like an entirely different creature. His rattlesnake tail swayed lazily behind him. "I ate them. Yes."

"You—you ate them?!" Adam gasped. In hindsight, it shouldn’t have been such a revelation. Quetzalcoatl was a god of blood sacrifices and devouring flesh, so it made sense that his children would share the same… tastes.

"I was hungry," Lucifer shrugged, entirely unconcerned. "And they were there, so I figured why not? Killed two birds with one stone~"

Adam nodded slowly, trying to process the twisted logic. It made sense, he supposed, but still, a shudder of revulsion crept up his spine. "How did you find me?"

"It wasn’t hard~" Lucifer snorted, his eyes narrowing at Adam with a hint of judgment. "You’re my mate. I’ll always be able to sniff you out. No matter how far you run, I can pick up your scent anywhere. I just followed it to this building after I had my fill."

"Oh," Adam mumbled, glancing away, feeling weak. "Are you mad at me?"

"Absolutely!" Lucifer chirped, his smile unnervingly wide and cheerful. He didn’t look angry at all. "I’m fuming! I’m so upset with you! You ran away from me! And pushed me off! That hurt so much, you know!"

Adam flinched at the overly cheerful tone, his stomach knotting with anxiety. Lucifer’s voice was light, but when Adam finally met his eyes, he saw it—the pure, simmering anger lurking behind that deceptively happy expression.

"I’m sorry," Adam said, leaning forward without actually approaching the feathered serpent. "I’m sorry. I just panicked."

Lucifer grunted, tilting his head curiously. "Why would you panic? You’re my mate; I’d never hurt you."

"Okay, I—I know that. And I’d never hurt you either." Adam’s cheeks warmed as he spoke, feeling a bit bashful. He doubted he could ever actually harm Lucifer, but saying it seemed to make Lucifer relax slightly. "But you have to understand, you’re a Nephilim, the son of my god. How did you expect me to react? I’m nothing special. I’m not even a fully reformed Phoenix, and you’re telling me my mate is a Godling? It was just… too much."

Lucifer’s expression softened, his head tilting further as he seemed to digest Adam’s words. He hummed thoughtfully and let out a soft sigh. "Okay. I can understand that, so I’ll let it slide this time. But don’t ever do that to me again—I won’t be so forgiving."

"Right…" Adam nodded sheepishly. "I really am sorry."

"Hmm?" Lucifer purred, leaning forward with a playful glint in his eye, one clawed finger beckoning Adam closer. "If you’re really sorry and want to make it up to me, you’ll come over and snuggle with me~ I’ve always wanted to see your nest, Addie~"

Without thinking, Adam climbed to his feet, drawn to Lucifer like a moth to a flame. He found himself standing at the edge of his nest, staring down at Lucifer. But as he looked into those mischievous eyes, he narrowed his own and frowned.

Lucifer immediately pouted, raising both arms to Adam like a child wanting to be picked up. "Come on, Addie~ Let’s cuddle. I wanna snuggle you~"

"No," Adam said firmly, planting his hands on his hips. "Not when you’re covered in blood."

A sharp smirk returned to Lucifer’s lips, and his long, serpentine tongue flicked out playfully. "Well, then you better come clean me~"

"C-Clean you?" Adam stammered, his eyes widening. "You don’t mean…"

Lucifer’s grin widened, a wicked gleam in his eyes as he stretched out luxuriously in the nest, his voice dripping with suggestive mischief. "Oh, but I do~"

“…I’ll find a sponge or a flannel.” Adam muttered, beginning to turn his head away.  

“Why would you need those?” Lucifer questioned, catching Adam’s wrist with his snake-tail.

Adam blinked down at him. “To…clean you?”

“Oh no~” with one tug, Lucifer pulled Adam on top of him. “We don’t clean ourselves like that, Addie~”

“…and…how do you want me to clean you?”

Lucifer purred, sliding his arms around Adam’s middle. He rubbed them purposely up and down Adam’s back. His long tongue licked at Adam’s lips.

“You need to use your tongue~”

----

Lilith – Jorōgumo - Alpha

  Origin: Japan

  Description: A spider that can transform into a beautiful woman to lure and devour men. Jorōgumo is a blend of beauty and danger, often featured in ghost stories.

Lucifer – Quetzalcoatl's younglin – Omega

  Origin: Mesoamerica

  Description: A feathered serpent god associated with wind, air, and learning. Quetzalcoatl is one of the most important deities in Aztec culture.

Adam – Phoenix – Omega

  Origin: Ancient Greece, Egypt, and Persia

  Description: A magnificent bird that is cyclically reborn from its ashes, symbolizing immortality, renewal, and the sun.

[bouncybongfairy]

Angels Like You

Loki x Fem Reader

Summary: After being pruned by the TVA, you were sent to The Void where you've lived ever since. During a storm Loki comes to your setup, seeking shelter. You allow him to stay and explain your nexus event to him.

Word Count: 2.0k

The context for this story: I based the reader's character after Sigyn who is the goddess of victory. In Norse Mythology, Sigyn is Loki's wife and is known for being extremely loyal. In Loki the mythical god's actual lore, after he kills the god Baldr he is banished to a cave where he is bound to rocks as a poisonous serpent drips venom onto his face until Ragnarok. Sigyn is so faithful she stays with Loki in this cave and holds a bowl above Loki's head to protect him from the venom. I based the reader's actions and relationship on the lore of Sigyn and Loki's romance if that makes sense; Thanks for reading!!

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

You were sent to the void so long ago that it’s hard to remember what life was like beforehand. It was such a beautiful life, living on Asgard with your mother and sisters. Mother was a baker and made everything from sweet to savory and your father was a butcher. They were in love and always were, newlyweds by the time they were only 17. Everyone in the family helped out with the bakery, one of your favorite things to do was teach your younger sisters how to make different pastries. Taking care of the animals and interacting with so many locals. You threw another stick in the fire, trying to shake your head of all the memories. Your handmade shelter was holding up nicely from the storm currently roaring around you. While you were scavenging recently you found a mini DVD player among a bunch of rubbage. It had the movie Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones which you’ve been watching on repeat ever since. It was comforting to you, especially because of how much the background looks like Asgard during certain points of the film. You had your legs kicked up, eating an unknown form of fruit that you picked earlier when you heard rummaging. You slowly start to get up not wanting to alert the potential threat. Arming yourself with your daggers, you get closer to the entrance of the shelter. Throwing the wooden door open you step in front of it. Unsurprisingly, a Loki stood in front of you smiling as if he was coming to ask for a cup of sugar. Instead of focusing on who was standing before the doorway, you whip your body around. The Loki that you saw was an illusion created to distract you, every single Loki you encountered did this so you were very familiar with this technique. You pressed the blade into his neck, causing him to raise his hands in defeat. 

“How did you get my blades?” he asked, looking quite taken back. 

“These are mine, not yours,” you replied flatly. 

“How did you know I was coming,” he asked, most likely to stall. 

“Because all Loki’s think they're clever by doing so, it’s like your party trick at this point. What is your business here?” you asked. 

“Is that an Asgardian accent I recognize?” he said, dodging your question. 

“What. Is. Your. Purpose. Here?” you ask, backing him against the wall and pressing the blade against his neck so hard that you caused a small scratch on his throat. 

“Okay, cards on the table. I only came here looking for shelter from the storm. Truly had no ill intentions, could you please..?” he asked, insinuating for you to unarm yourself. You did pull the dagger away from his neck but kept them in each hand. 

“I don’t believe you,” you said. 

“Like I haven’t heard that one before,” he said, sitting down and putting his hands in front of the fire, “you know you’re incredibly uncharismatic for a Loki,” he said, using magic to dry his clothes.

“I am not a Loki, and I never said you could stay here,” you said. 

“Okay if you’re not a Loki then why do you have those daggers?” he asked.

“They belonged to a Loki and now they belong to me; end of story,” you said. 

“Wasn’t aware it was pawning for a storytime,” he said giggling. 

“Do you want to die,” you said, moving closer. 

“You think you can kill me?” he asked. 

“Me being able to kill you is irrelevant. I know I can keep you out of my hut, and I know that storm will have its way with you,” you said. 

“Fair enough,” he said, putting his hands up playfully to surrender. 

“Why are you wearing a TVA jacket?” you asked. 

“I am a bit of a consultant, helping them with an inside look into the mind of a Loki,” he said. 

After physically showing your disgust for his loyalty to the TVA through facial expressions. You started roasting a chicken over the fire that was in the center of the shelter. Loki again began to pry about the origins of your accent. You ignored his inquiries and turned the roasted chicken that was cooking above the fire. He was eyeing the food like a lion would a gazelle. 

“I thought you worked for the TVA? Don’t tell me your wonderful new friends aren't feeding you,” you said flatly. 

“Well you know sometimes missions go… askew if you will,” he chuckled then conjured himself a blanket. 

“The TVA discarding lives at will? Can’t say I’m surprised,” you said. 

“And what about you? Clearly, you're Asgardian so what was your nexus event?” he asked. 

“I lived in the villages of Asgard, my family and I lived comfortably. My mother and father ran a foodery. They were given the opportunity to work in the castle’s pantry. Without a second thought, they took the opportunity, especially because it meant proper education for my sisters and me. We were shocked to see the interior of the castle. I couldn’t stop laughing because of how mesmerized I was,” you said, turning the chicken again, “as my sister and I lost our minds, the queen came around the corner. My mother was so upset that she saw me acting foolish, she pinched my forearm so hard it bruised. She took us to our separate rooms before showing my parents around. I didn’t want to be in separate rooms, in our old home, the room we shared was so small and the sudden change was jarring. Once I was alone in my room I broke down into tears, I was only 13 and it was all so overwhelming.” You moved the chicken away from the fire onto a makeshift table. Ripping one of the legs off and setting it on a chipped plate. Loki thanked you before you even handed it to him. After taking a few bites, he stared at you, waiting for you to continue. 

“The next day things were getting easier. I came out of my room and saw a snake slithering outside my door. I picked it up and began talking to it, saying things like ‘If someone else would have found you, they’d make you lunch’ or ‘let's get you out of here before you’re killed’ but after I set it free, Loki shapeshifted out of his snake form. The first thing I noticed were his eyes, they were so bright and his pupils were wide. 

“I was uh- trying to scare you but when you picked me up I had to wait till you set me down to shapeshift back,” he explained. 

“Why would I be scared of a creature that is simply existing?” you asked. 

“You have a point there,” he said laughing, which caused you to join him. 

“After that encounter, it was like we couldn’t stop bumping into each other. Everywhere you went, he'd always end up stopping by even just to share a quick glance with each other. Eventually, things got more serious, and we’d both sneak out to meet each other in the library. Loki loved the library, he explained that when he was to rule Asgard, he’d make his soldiers study basic battle strategy and geography to ensure his glorious purpose wasn’t to be wasted. I always loved romance novels which irritated him beyond no end. One that you remember was about a young king named Angus who was turned to stone by Medusa. His queen Rose was wrapped in his arms when turned, he was protecting her. He thought if he shielded the queen from the serpent's view and it did. The queen could have escaped but she would’ve needed to shatter her king’s stoned body. He was gripping her so tightly that the stone was rubbing her skin raw, but she was so touched that in his last moments, he wanted to be as close as he could to her. The love she had for him was so strong that she couldn’t bring herself to it. So she died in his arms. Aphrodite was so moved by the queen's sacrifice that she turned her body into a rose bush with thorns that completely wrapped around him. To protect his stoned body so she could be with him forever. Loki would poke up and talk about how no king would ever do that. Even if he was right, it didn’t stop you from reading them obsessively.

The night before my 14th birthday, Loki appeared at my window wanting to talk.”

Flash Back:

“I have something to show you,” he said, taking you by the hand and helping you climb down from your window. 

When you got to the bottom, there was a black horse that Loki helped you on. You were scared of getting in trouble but he insisted that nobody would notice. This is when you knew feelings were starting to develop, at least on your end. At first, you were scared to fully wrap your arms around him. He reached behind him and pulled you by your arms closer to him. You now had your cheek pressed against his back, watching his long black hair bounce as the horse galloped. You guys were getting deeper and deeper into the forest, starting to see more animals and thicker trees. When you guys finally stopped, it was starting to rain quite hard. He grabbed you by the waist and helped you down from the huge stallion. Taking you by the hand he began leading you to a cave that was nearby. At first, you were reluctant to go into this dark and foreign entryway. Loki dried your clothes and conjured a lantern. When he lit the cave up with light from the lantern you couldn’t believe your eyes. The cave had rose vines on every section of the wall. Your hand immediately threw your hand over your mouth. 

“Like in that book you love, when I found it I knew I had to show you. I know it’s not much-” you interrupted him by pulling him into a hug. 

“This is amazing, thank you for bringing me here to see this,” you said. 

“I actually didn’t bring you here only to see it,” he said, pulling the book out of his saddle bag. 

The cave’s floor was covered in long grass, which made it very comfortable when sitting on the ground. Loki’s back was pressed against a portion of the wall that he cleared of vines and thorns. You were your back against Loki’s chest as you read aloud to the book. You kept stuttering over words at first, being distracted and flustered. Eventually, you settled and were able to read fluently through the story. You guys stayed there until it began to rise, and right before you parted ways to separate bedrooms you shared a chaste kiss. Ever since that night, you knew Loki was the love of your life. The connection that was growing was strong and undeniable. It remained that way even after time aged the two of you. By the time you guys were 18 the love between the two of you was still as fresh as the roses in the cave. A wedding was being planned and the energy in the air was euphoric. Both of your families were healthy, the kingdom was thriving and you loved each other. Long story short: Baldr invaded Asgard. Loki killed him and saved so many people's lives yet he was punished. Banished to the very cave where your love blossomed in, only now the roses were all dead, yet the thorns remained. When you saw him, he was passed out from the pain. A serpent was suspended above his head, dripping its toxic venom onto his skin. You refused to leave his side, at first he would scream for you to leave. Not wanting your mind to be poisoned by the pain of seeing him so weak. You comforted him and held his head with one hand and used the other to hold out a bowl, catching the venom. You weren’t sure how much time passed, but one day you couldn’t stand the thought of living this way. For your love to be punished for doing what he believed to be right by his people. You noticed Loki still had his two daggers tucked into his pant-line. Knowing you would have to be quick, you emptied the bowl of venom and quickly grabbed his daggers. Using your own head to cover Loki’s body from the venom you start attacking the snake. After severing its head, you passed out from how bad the venom burned your skin. When you woke up Loki was already causing Ragnarok, he had so much pent-up rage. The timekeepers found me and when I was at the TVA pleading for answers, they told me certain events on my timeline needed to play out before Loki was released. Because you were the one who released him, they blamed it on you.

End of Flashback

The Loki you’d just met was looking at you with a pitiful expression. You noticed he picked his chicken clean which made you chuckle. 

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” he said. 

“Not your fault,” you said. 

“I know but, that’s one of the most heinous stories about survivors of the TVA,” he said. 

“I’m glad you liked the chicken. I’m going to bed,” you said, setting your cot up. 

“Is it okay if I stay?” Loki asked.

“If you stop asking questions then yes,” you said, extinguishing the fire and going to sleep.

[entishramblings]

The Innocence of Brutality Pt. 7 [Legolas/F!Reader]

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6

A.N: hey my preciouses. so im back from my hiatus with some pain and suffering for you all. this part was very hard to write as this story is a 10th walker. lol i struggle to follow an already created plot and not get bored writing—and that’s why I gotta add some twists and funky ass kicking Rámaitë Mahtar lore heh. anywaysss...enjoy!

Request: none

Pairing: Legolas X Fem!Reader

Summary: The Reader is Rámaitë Mahtar, a warrior spirit race, and she meets the fellowship on their quest to destroy the ring.  

Disclaimer: Any mythology relating to the Rámaitë Mahtar is not canon as I made up Rámaitë Mahtar. Also, all elvish was translated from a translator site—it may not be accurate.

Word Count: 6.5k (i know I'm sorry i am a menace) 

Warnings: nudity (not sex), mentions of war, mentions of torture, violence, fluff, hurt/comfort, beard abuse (sorry gimli)

MASTERLIST | AO3 | WATTPAD | The Innocence of Brutality Masterlist | HERE for OC format

The fellowship and the Rámaite Mahtar spent hours upon hours enduring the biting lash of the snow's frigid touch and the piercing wail of the wind. The Pass of Caradhras fought against them, hard and strong. Relentless it was; as if the mountain itself was pained by their footsteps, doing all it could to shake them off and consign them to a frozen grave. Though they soon discovered that the mountain was not alone in pursuing their downfall.

Legolas frowned, squinting past the snowflakes that landed upon his lashes. It was hard to focus on anything but navigating through the blowing blizzard, for if he wavered his calculations, he and the fellowship would surely fall to their deaths. Yet still, something tugged at his mind, begging him to recognize its warning. The elf, determined to unravel what it was, let his senses settle into the air around him, absorbing all he could. That is when he heard it—a resonant voice murmuring curses into the wintry air.

The elven prince spun on his heel—so fast that he startled the dwarf behind him. Now facing the rest of his company, he cried out his cautionary statement. “Someone is aiding the storm. There is a fell voice upon the air.”

Gandalf met his eye, and only one word passed the wizard’s slips. “Saruman.”

(Y/N) turned to Legolas. Over the wind, she yelled her question to him. “Who is this man of saru?”

However, before any method of how he could even begin to articulate such a person even entered his mind, Aragorn and Boromir tones sprung into the air. Their voices grew insistent, advocating to return the way they came, only for Gandalf to fiercely argue against it.

“Legolas,” (Y/N) addressed again, not paying mind to the serious conversation behind her. “Who is this man of saru?”

“(Y/N),” he started. However, he was interrupted by a deep murmur that reverberated through the mountain’s core. That was the only warning the fellowship received. Seconds later, heavy clumps of snow came thundering down from the slopes above them. Legolas’ unfinished words were swept away by the mountain's rampage, lost amidst the chaotic dance of falling powder.

“Get back!” was briefly heard as Aragorn pressed his body against the side of the mountain. He attempted to take Frodo and Sam with him through a failed outreached hand grasping upon nothingness. 

The Rámaite Mahtar’s eyes followed the motion, her instincts kicking in. 

Her wings snapped open, tearing through the fabric and leather armor that clothed her. They extended outwards, providing a canopy over the four hobbits, just as the avalanche was to bury them. 

(Y/N) grit her teeth, her form shaking slightly as the pressure hit. 

Silent the hobbits were, no sound leaving their normally chatty lips, as the onslaught of snow railed upon (Y/N). Only awe was present upon their expressions as those four pairs of big, worried eyes looked up at her stern face. 

The Rámaite Mahtar, however, took no notice to their concern. She held steady until no further weight was forced upon her wings.

Slowly, she lifted her head up—proud and strong—and her wings following suit. She shook them off. The snow she had caught tumbled from her feathery masses. It skipped off the edge of the mountain, leaving its longtime home.

Legolas emerged from beneath the snow rather quickly. A single glimpse of (Y/N)'s outstretched wings and the visible hobbits revealed to him what she had done. Knowing they were out of harm's way, he wasted no time in digging through the snow to unearth his other companions.

As the first hand broke the surface, Legolas seized hold of it and yanked. Spluttering, up came Aragorn. The two didn't need to speak to know what else needed to be done. They instantly began to sweep away the glistening snowflakes that continued to conceal their comrades. They hoped to retrieve them—one by one—from their frozen confinement. 

(Y/N), seemingly deeming the two men competent enough to handle the task, moved closer to the hobbits. She patted Frodo’s head as she looked between the four of them. “Safe, safe, yes?” 

Their responses consisted of small nods and drifting gazes, their minds still in shock.

Boromir and Gandalf soon emerged, though one member of their company was still not yet found.

“Gimli! Where is Gimli?” Legolas called out desperately.

(Y/N) furrowed her brows as her gaze scanned the snowy landscape. Meanwhile, the rest of the fellowship frantically dug, their efforts driven by urgency. (Y/N) took a few steps forward, her expression determined.

Suddenly, she began stomping in various spots on the fluffy snow bed.

Her companions, including Legolas, exchanged puzzled glances, unable to comprehend her actions. However, their confusion quickly dissipated when a muffled war cry echoed from beneath her feet. Without hesitation, (Y/N) plunged her hand deep into the snow and pulled hard. Emerging from the white depths, beard first, came Gimli, hollering and gasping for air.

Sighs of relief exited many lips before the arguing between the navigators started once again. 

(Y/N) looked between them, watching, observing, trying and failing to understand the gravity of the situation. Though it seemed it wasn't really up to her to have to understand. The decision got passed down to Frodo and the small hobbit picked their dwarven friend’s option: The Mines of Moria. 

Therefore, they wearily trudged down the mountain, their souls burdened and their bodies fatigued. (Y/N)'s wings guarded the hobbits, shielding them from the biting winds until they finally arrived before the sealed doors of the dwarven kingdom. And there they remained, seated in patient anticipation—for hours on end.

In the stillness, only the soft murmurs of Gandalf's whispered words and hushed conversations drifted among the fellowship, creating an atmosphere of quiet suspense. 

Legolas perched beside Y/N, holding her leather armor layer in one hand and a sharp knife in the other. He was carefully carving the ripped section into a smoother line, ensuring easy exposure of her wings. Given their current lifestyle, he presumed it was crucial for her to retract and unveil her deadliest weapon effortlessly. Besides, they lacked the time and resources to stop in a town again, and even if they did, they wouldn't find suitable clothing to accommodate her unique form. The Rámaite Mahtar were not supposed to exist—not in this world at this time. She was an exception. She was a phenomenon. She was a secret—one that could get them all killed. 

“Legolas,” (Y/N) stated. “Who is this man of saru?”

The elf briefly glanced up at her as he continued to work. This was the third time he was asked this question by her, and he knew she would ask it again if it was left unanswered. She was persistent like that. He cleared his throat. “Do you remember how we told you that there were some who intended to harm us and the people of this world?”

She nodded.

“Well,” he continued. “Saruman is one of them. He is aiding and orchestrating armies for Sauron.”

“Sauron?” (Y/N) questioned.

Legolas sighed, placing the leather down as he focused on (Y/N). He knew he would have to give her all his attention for this conversation. It wasn't one that you could have so casually. “Sauron is consumed by an insatiable thirst for power. He wants to enslave its people, create an empire of pain and suffering, and burn it down to ash and bone.” 

“Why?” she asked, so innocently. 

 “(Y/N),” he stated softly, gazing into those goddamn brilliant, concerned, (e/c) eyes of hers. “Sauron…Sauron was a servant of Morgoth.”

The Rámaite Mahtar's lips parted, releasing a hushed gasp that was woven with fear and disbelief. 

Legolas watched as these emotions shattered her soul and wreaked havoc in her heart. Her brows furrowed, her lips contorted, her gaze wandered, and her eyelids fluttered. Processing. That is what she was doing—absorbing the shock and dissecting its meaning. 

“(Y/N),” he whispered, reaching for her hand. “(Y/N), Morgoth will not come here. He cannot come to this plane. The Valar would never permit it.”

She shook her head, pulling away from him. “Yes, he would. For me, he would. For me, they would let him.”

“(Y/N),” he said again, desperately.

She stood, shaking her head, her voice rising slightly. “You do not understand!!!”

Legolas, sensing her distress escalating, abandoned his seat and moved to stand with her. Gently, he took both her hands in his own. “(Y/N), help me understand.” He peered down into her wild eyes, searching for an answer. “Please, help me understand. I am here. I am listening.”

She glanced down at the ground below her feet, taking in a deep breath as she tried to gather herself—to regulate her emotions, Legolas perceived.

After a moment, she looked back to him. Her voice was quiet as she spoke. “I—I did things. B–before. When I was here long ago.”

The Prince nodded his head in encouragement. 

She shut her eyes and withdrew her hands from his hold, letting her arms wrap around herself in what appeared to be a self-soothing state. “T–terrible things.” (Y/N) focused her gaze back onto Legolas. “They–they wanted it empty of some of the stuff they put in it.”

“What do you mean?” he inquired softly, his confusion deepening. “What did they want empty?”

(Y/N) frowned, her expression twitching as she tried to pick out the correct word to use. “The–the world.” She paused, just for a moment. “So, we emptied it. But–but we did not understand. I did not understand. There were peoples there.” As her words flowed on, she delicately extended her hand and brushed her fingertips against his ear. He fought the urge to flinch at the contact, but he did not stop her. Knowing how sincere and vulnerable she was in that moment, he wanted her to continue her truth. He didn't desire to give her any reason at all to halt her words. “Peoples like—like you, but not like you. Different.” She furthered, her hand then slid along the curve of his elvish ear until it was nothing but a ghost. (Y/N) looked down once again. “They screamed and cried, but we did not know, so we did not stop.”

“(Y/N),” he whispered, cupping her cheek and forcing her to look at him. “It was not your fault. The Valar did not teach you. They did not teach you of right and wrong.”

Her eyes squeezed shut, a tear escaping them. “It was my fault. I was the leader.”

Legolas’ thumb gently wiped away the water that ran down her cheek. “But you did not know, my starlight. You did not know.”

A quiet sob escaped her chest as she tried to look away from him. Though he would not let her. He would not let her suffer this guilt alone. Legolas pulled her form into his own. He enveloped her in his embrace, encircling his arm around her waist, while his other hand cradled the back of her head.

Instantly, she responded to this affection. Her hands—those small, deadly hands that had annihilated so many people—grasped onto his tunic, yanking at the threads. The ethereal glow of her wings enveloped him as well, as if just her arms were not enough to hug him back. And the pressure of her body against his was firm, almost urging him to anchor himself in case he lost balance. In that moment, with her face nestled against his chest, she sought solace and refuge in his embrace.

Softly, he pressed a kiss to her head as his hand moved in slow, soothing circles on her back.

Legolas knew the rest of the fellowship was trying, and failing, not to stare, but he did not care. This—this was important. This realization. This moment. This needed to happen. It represented her growth in the most pure and genuine way. 

The embrace, however, was disturbed by the sound of a gentle plop that resonated in the air like a soft melody—though one very much out of place. One after another, the droplets of sound caressed their ears, intruding upon the intimate moment they shared. However, Aragorn’s chidding tone unintentionally attempted to give it back to them as he ordered Merry and Pippin to halt their actions.

Still, (Y/N) turned to look at the rippling of the water, watching as it moved with little rifts and smooth slides. The Rámaite Mahtar tilted her head, ignoring Frodo’s voice pipping up with a question regarding the door’s riddle. It wasn't directed at her anyways. She took a step closer to the water, and another, and another—until the sound of loud stone shifting claimed her and her companion’s attention.

The group gathered their belongings, (Y/N) folding in her wings and pulling the altered leather armor upon her form, before they flowed through the now opened doors. As they listened to Gimli rave of his cousins’ hospitality, they filed in. However, hospitality did not greet them. Nothing did. There were no torches. There were no cheers. There were no dwarven faces. Simply put: not a trace of life offered them a welcome and naught but dread stirred in their presence. As darkness wrapped around them, Gandalf lit his staff. That glow began to reflect light, allowing the fellowship to bear witness to the truth.

“This–this is no mine.” Boromir began, horror upon his tone. “It’s a tomb!”

Immediately, Gimli’s loud cries of despair echoed throughout the vast walls and the hobbits’ heavy breathing followed. 

“We should never have come here. We must make for the Gap of Rohan!” Boromir exclaimed. 

Rash shuffling from each member of the group followed as they began scrambling from the hallway of bones. Those bones, however, were immediately replaced by a new threat—one of tentacles and slime.

Before they even could escape the tomb, Frodo was clawing at the ground, his anguished cries for help piercing the air. The other hobbits urgently grasped his arms, straining with all their might to free him from the vile creature coiling around his legs. Yet his friends were only so strong. The creature drug the poor hobbit to the lake, flinging him through the air like a mere plaything. 

Instantly, the fellowship, with weapons raised, were scrambling after him.

Though, the one that was the fastest was (Y/N). Her wings extended from her form, not breaking the newly crafted adjustments to her leather. With one strong push, she was in the air and weaving through the tentacles. 

“By the Valar,” Aragorn whispered.

At his tone, Legolas’ gaze flickered from his aimed arrow and to his friend’s line of sight above the beast of the lake. Immediately, the elf’s lips parted in astonishment. Even after the months that they had known the Rámaite Mahtar, they had yet to see her fly. They had seen those beautiful wings act as blades, blankets, and canopies, but they hadn't seen them act for their intended purpose. They hadn't seen them serve as instruments of the wind. Legolas could not help but let his bow falter as he stared. 

“She’s….she’s beautiful,” Legolas whispered. 

Aragorn, his own shock subsiding, grabbed the elf’s arm and hissed a panicked order at him. “Legolas, cast aside your admiration and put an end to that vile beast!”

“Right, right,” he mumbled, drawing his arrow once again.

Aragorn ran into the water, slicing at the tentacles in desperate hope to free Frodo—and prevent his own capture. 

(Y/N) maintained a relentless attack from above, using her wings as weapons to sever the slimy limbs impeding her path towards Frodo. With remarkable speed and precision, each stroke of her wings propelled her closer to the young hobbit, the distance shrinking inch by inch. However, just as she was closing in, the beast sent two tentacles her way. She spun quickly, her wings slicing them both, but it was the third to the back that she did not anticipate. It smacked against her shoulder blades, hard. Her body was launched backwards as if she was nothing but a gnat being batted away. The blow held such vigorous force that she crashed into the side of the mountain and tumbled with broken rock. Everything crumbled until she too joined the dust upon the ground.

Legolas, with fearful eyes, screamed her name. She did not answer.

The Prince continued firing arrow after arrow as he moved backwards towards the broken Rámaite Mahtar. Each forceful strike diverted the creature's attention. This distraction allowed Aragorn to slice the tentacle constricting Frodo, while Boromir swiftly caught him.

“Go, go, go!” Aragorn yelled, pushing Boromir and Frodo back onto the land. “Into the mines!”

The group darted through the entrance, Legolas scooping (Y/N) up into his arms as he did so. 

The lake’s guardian tried to pursue them, its battered limbs slamming against the rugged mountain surface. However, in doing so, the squid-like creature lost its meal. In its desperate attempt to give chase, the fellowship’s fate was sealed. The attack caused the rocks to tremble and shudder. So much so, that the entrance to the passage crumbled and collapsed—entombing the alive with the dead.

Thick dust now drifted through the air, melding with the sounds of adrenalized breath and pounding hearts. They stood still as Gandalf lit his staff once more.

“We have now but one choice,” the wizard started as he began walking deeper into the mine. “We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world.”

“Mithrandir, wait.” Legolas called out, almost desperately. 

All eyes shifted, only to be surprised to see the Rámaite Mahtar cradled in his arms. Before, she had appeared to be invincible. From the first day they encountered her, when she lifted the strongest member of the fellowship by the throat and nearly killed him, they had thought she was unstoppable. This belief was further reinforced as they witnessed her relentless prowess in battle. She ruthlessly obliterated a pack of orcs like it was nothing. She had annihilated them with sheer force that made even the elves look weak. A glimmer of possibility was instilled in them. Maybe their quest was not destined to fail after all? She was their hope. And now? Now that hope was a slumped, unmoving, bleeding form. 

“(Y/N)?” Pippin whispered, his voice so quiet, so small. 

“Is–is she alive?” Merry added, his tone mirroring his closest friend’s.

Legolas did not answer them as he gently laid her body onto the ground, kneeling next to her. With frantic lips murmuring a prayer in Sindarin, he reached to hold her face. Almost instantly, the Prince’s shaking hands were painted in her red blood. He tried to not focus on it as his nimble fingers found her carotid artery. He couldn't afford to think that she could be dead. Not now. Not ever. 

The air was quiet and full of anxiety as they awaited his words—ones that would either break or heal their hearts. 

“She’s alive.” 

Sighs of relief left many’s lips, though Legolas did not hear one exit the wizard’s. 

“I must treat her wounds.”

Gandalf huffed. “We cannot linger here.”

“Mithrandir!” Legolas called out, appalled. “She cannot be left to bleed—”

“Legolas, îdh, listo. (Legolas, calm, please.)” Aragorn stated, raising his hand. He then turned to the wizard. “Gandalf, Legolas is right. Without medical attention she could die. I understand you do not trust her yet, but she has saved our lives many times over. We need her.” He paused, nodding to the hobbits. “They need her.” 

He huffed but dipped his head in agreement. He couldn't argue with that logic. “Ten minutes.”

Legolas was quick to pull his medical bag from his shoulder and began digging for supplies. 

“Legolas, man  tur- im ceri? (Legolas, what can I do?)” Aragorn stated as he knelt beside him. 

The Prince passed him a small pouch as well as a mortar and pestle. “Mol hi into a sirith ir im heneb hen. (Grind this into a paste while I examine her.)”

Aragorn nodded, beginning the assigned task. 

Legolas lifted her head, feeling the back of it, before speaking in the common tongue for the others to understand. “Swelling, but no blood from this blow. Seems it just knocked her out.” He twisted her face to see the bleeding cut above her brow. “This cut is pretty deep. I will need to stitch it so the skin mends properly.” 

“Despite her ability to heal quickly? Cuts like this usually are gone within a day or so for her, correct?” 

“Yes, but the flow is heavy and with the risk of infection—especially with all the grime in here…..” Legolas let his sentence trail off. 

“Master elf,” Samwise interrupted softly. “Is there anything I can do?” 

The Prince looked up at him. A gentle smile crossed his face for he knew of (Y/N)’s relationship with the hobbits. He knew how much she cared for them and they her. “Sam, if you could get Gandalf’s staff, maybe provide us with some better light?”

The hobbit nodded and quickly scurried off. Legolas could hear the soft conversation between the grumpy wizard and the innocent hobbit, though he was too focused on (Y/N) to pay attention. Regardless, Gandalf must have given in, for the hobbit returned seconds later with the light. 

“Sam, hold it over here. I must check her wings.”

The light cascaded brightly above them, its luminosity filtering across the brilliant wings. The feathers absorbed and reflected those subtle colors, shining them back upon the three men. If the scene wasn't encased in blood and emotional turmoil, it would have been a radiant spectacle. But now, the once alluring silk-like texture bore the marks of horror—marks none would want to see freely.

“There does not appear to be any significant damage. Most of the blood is from the head wound or superficial cuts.” Legolas stated. “It looks worse than it really is.”

“But–but then why isn't she waking up?” Pippin inquired with unease.

Legolas did not answer, for he didn't have a reason to give the hobbit. Instead, he returned to the wound upon her brow. “Pass me that needle and threat.” 

Soon enough, the Rámaite Mahtar’s cut was sealed and the blood upon her face was wiped clean. If they had not known of the events that had transpired, maybe she would have looked like she was sleeping peacefully. That, however, much to their dismay, was not the case.

Boromir, seeing (Y/N)'s treatment completed, spoke again. “We can take shifts carrying her.”

Legolas clenched his jaw, refusing to look at the Gondorian, as he gathered the winged warrior into his arms. “When her wings are exposed, it adds at least a hundred pounds to her weight. Without elven strength, you wouldn’t be able to carry her for long.” 

Boromir scoffed lightly and sent a look at the elf. 

Legolas wanted to snap back with another snarky reply, but he knew it would do no good. Hell, his previous comment was uncalled for—and he knew it. Boromir was a good, honorable man at heart. Legolas knew he would never do anything to harm (Y/N). The Gondorian respected her—as a woman, warrior, and friend. Besides, at this point, it was quite apparent that the Prince and Rámaite Mahtar’s souls were bound. So, Legolas kept his mouth shut as he pushed past Boromir and towards the front of the group. 

Aragorn walked up beside the Gondorian. He gently patted the man’s shoulder. “Don’t take it personally. Elves tend to get quite possessive over their lovers, especially under dire circumstances.” The Ranger then chuckled. “Not one of their finer traits.” 

Boromir snorted lightly in amusement, now not taking Legolas’ behavior to heart. “Indeed,” was his simple reply. 

Time seemed to stretch endlessly as they continued their journey along the paths of the old dwarven corridors. The fellowship found themselves halted at a crossroads, a convergence of three diverging paths, where Gandalf stood at the forefront, evaluating which direction to proceed with. 

Legolas settled himself on the ground, leaning his back against the cool stone surface. Keeping (Y/N) in his lap, he gently adjusted her position, allowing her head to rest upon his chest and shoulder, her face nestled against the curve of his neck. Finding a moment of reprieve, he let out a soft sigh and pressed his head against the wall behind him, shutting his eyes. With a soothing touch, he traced gentle strokes along the Rámaite Mahtar's cheek, passing the time with rest.

It felt like only minutes, even though he knew it was hours, when Gandalf called for them to follow. Legolas begrudgingly stood with (Y/N) in his arms.

“Legolas,” Aragorn’s voice softly sounded beside him. “Let me take her.”

The elf turned to face his friend. “It’s alright. I’ve got her.” 

The Ranger shook his head. “You must keep some strength if we are to make it through this mine. Exhaustion will do you no good. I will watch over her, even if it’s just for a little while.”

Legolas exhaled slowly but dipped his head in agreement. He knew Aragorn was right. As an elf, he had senses that would allow him to slay twice as many servants of darkness. If they were to come across any enemies, they would need him—especially with their strongest weapon now unconscious. Therefore, he passed (Y/N) to Aragorn.

The Ranger was careful as he took her into his arms, her wings hanging limp around him and brushing upon the dusty floor. “Valar—“ he mumbled. “You weren’t kidding about her weight.” 

Legolas smirked lightly. “If she is too heavy, I can take her back.”

The Ranger grunted. “No, no. I’m fine.” 

The elf raised his brows but followed the others.

Legolas kept an eye on Aragorn and (Y/N) as they moved. Though it wasn't out of distrust or jealousy, it was out of concern. He could sense, as the minutes passed and as the terrain roughened, the Ranger began to tire. However, it seemed he was not the only one who could tell. 

Boromir approached Aragorn. “You look like you could use a break. I will carry her.” 

Aragorn let out a low—and slightly strained—laugh. “Are you certain? Legolas wasn’t mistaken about her weight.” 

The Gondorian bobbed his head. “I hardly believe she is that much to bear.” 

“Suit yourself,” the Ranger replied as he passed the winged warrior to the other man. 

“By the Creator….” Boromir immediately gruffed out. 

Now it was Aragorn’s turn to tease. “I warned you.” 

“That you did,” the Gondorian grunted. He then nodded ahead. “We don’t want to get left behind. Let’s keep moving.” 

However, it wasn’t long before Boromir approached Legolas. “I won’t ever doubt the strength of you and your people again,” he expressed, accompanied by a warm smile. “Are you able to carry your girl again?” 

Legolas nodded, guilt flickering in his heart for his previous rude demeanor towards the man. “Yes. Thank you, Boromir. I appreciate your help.”

The Gondorian nodded in understanding before he passed (Y/N) back towards the elf. 

…..

As the days passed, (Y/N) still hadn’t woken, which proved to be worrisome. The wound upon her forehead had healed, leaving only a light scar that Legolas knew would disappear in a couple days. The swelling upon the back of her head vanished as well, providing even more confusion to her still unconscious state. She would stir here and there, but never did those curious, (e/c) eyes open. If she had survived a fall from the Valar’s incarceration, why was she remaining unconscious from a strike of the lake’s beast?

Still, they could not wait on her to wake. They had to push further. So, the fellowship continued to pass through Moria in secret, observing the dwarven wonders as they did so. However, it was ignorant to hope that that secrecy would last—and as soon as the corpse of an old dwarf tumbled down that well, they knew they were discovered. 

It all happened so fast. 

Legolas barely had time to place (Y/N)’s form down against Balin’s tomb before the doors were splintering, revealing orc faces dripping with evil desire. 

However, at the first clank of a sword, there came at least one good act.

A large gasp, loud and alarm-filled, struck the air. The Rámaite Mahtar jolted upright. In an instant, her wings snapped back to life, shedding their previously limp state, and surged outward with lethal swiftness. As they unfurled, they decapitated three nearby orcs.

Legolas could only manage to call out her name in relief before he too was consumed by the battle. 

With (Y/N) ripping the vile creatures into pieces, even faster than the elf, the fellowship had thought they had a chance. Well, that was until one sentence left the Gondorian’s lips.

“They have a fucking cave troll.” 

From then on, it was a blur. Each member of the group was fighting for their lives—including the hobbits. Though all their hearts stopped when Frodo called out in pain and crumbled to the ground. Shrieks of fear left every member’s lips as Aragorn desperately rushed to his body. Those heartaching cries, however, quieted when Frodo’s small voice sang out clearly. “It’s alright. I’m not hurt.” 

Then they were running again, and again, and again. 

The immense chamber teemed with a horde of orcs, swarming across every surface—the ground, walls, and ceiling. So much so, that the members of the quest were encircled by them, barely having room to breathe. A sort of stalemate settled in, both sides waiting for the other to make the first move.

(Y/N)’s wings twitched as she rotated, readying herself.

Though a fight did not come—not from the thousands of revolting beings. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

Each member of the fellowship spun and turned at that sound. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

The orcs faltered and swiveled their heads. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

Panic then erupted. The grotesque creatures scrambled to flee. They shoved and pushed one and other as their gangly forms scurried away—back to the hellhole that they came from. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

“What is this new devilry?” Boromir whispered. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

Gandalf sucked in a deep breath. “A balrog of Morgoth.”

(Y/N)’s heart froze. 

“A demon of the ancient world,” Gandalf continued. “This foe is beyond any of you. RUN!”

It was here that the fellowship mimicked the goblins—though with more care for one another. They took off down the vast hallway as they made for the Bridge of Khazad Dum. Their legs moved quicker than they ever would have thought possible—stopping only when there was a gap in a path above the fiery abyss.

Legolas was the first to leap across, his nimble form making it appear easy. Gandalf was the next to make the jump. Merry and Pippin were to follow with Boromir; however, they were halted as arrows shot at their feet—just nearly missing. 

(Y/N) whipped her head around, just in time to see another projectile whizzing straight towards Boromir. 

The Rámaite Mahtar was quick to lift her wing in front of him. The fine tip pierced her instantly, causing a deep grunt of pain to exit her lips. The arrow went through the feathery flesh, but halted as it got stuck in tight muscle—only inches away from Boromir’s forehead. 

The Gondorian’s wide eyes shifted to her—in thanks, in shock, in guilt. 

Legolas quickly turned and fired his bow, taking out the archer. 

“Go!” (Y/N) shouted as she lowered her wing. 

With that, Boromir grabbed Merry and Pippin and leaped onto the other side. His feet landed just before the section they had previously stood on collapsed. 

(Y/N) was next. She lifted her wings slightly, despite the pain, to give herself more of a drift. As she landed she shuffled close to Merry and Pippin and ripped the arrow from her wing with a groan.

As Legolas caught Sam and then Gimli—by the beard—another arrow whizzed past the hobbits’ head. 

Once again, the Rámaite Mahtar shielded them—earning two more arrows in the wing. 

By the time Frodo and Aragorn finagled their way across the ever growing gap, the Balrog was upon them. 

The fellowship were fleeing as fast as they possibly could. A few brave souls dared to steal a glance behind, their hearts pounding in their chests. Among them was Frodo, and as his eyes locked onto the fiery menace descending upon Gandalf, a cry of terror escaped his lips. The collective gaze of the group shifted at that, now drawn to the scene unfolding before them. They then bore witness.

The wizard stood strong. His deep voice, full of power and protection, echoed through the cavern. “You cannot pass.” 

The Balrog attacked. Gandalf defended. 

“I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow!”

Once again, the Balrog attacked. Gandalf defended. 

The wizard brought his sword and staff crashing down upon the bridge, a resounding boom echoing through the air. His voice then thundered, filled with unwavering determination. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Those words seemed to reverberate through the chamber, carrying the weight of his command across the stone. In that moment, he stood as a barrier, defying the very force that sought to destroy them and their mission.

The bridge began to crumble. Piece by piece, the stone began to fall, taking the Balrog with it. 

Gandalf inhaled deeply. 

It was done. 

The whip, however, lashed out one final time. With a swift motion, it coiled around the wizard's ankle, forcefully pulling him off his feet. In a fleeting moment, he was airborne, his body suspended before gravity claimed its prize. Gandalf’s hands flailed, desperately reaching out for anything to anchor him to the bridge's edge. His fingers found the stone and his nails dug in. Though, he knew he had no chance. He wished only to leave a message for the one who looked up to him the most.

Frodo cried out once again, lunging for his mentor and friend.

Boromir, however, wrapped a strong arm around him and held him back. 

The little hobbit, sobbing, held eye contact with the wizard. 

“Fly you fools,” Gandalf whispered. 

Then, he too, was gone. 

Frodo screamed, his cry intertwining with that of his fellow hobbits, creating a symphony of despair that echoed through the burning darkness.

However, they weren’t the only ones to have a profound reaction.

Surprisingly, (Y/N) rushed forward. She sprinted down the bridge, her legs carrying her fast, but she wasn’t fast enough. Legolas anticipated what she was going to do. He saw how her strides stretched wide and how her wings extended. She was gonna jump. Reacting swiftly, he took off after her. His paces were wider and his speed was quick. Just as she was about to push herself into the air, Legolas grabbed onto her waist and yanked her backward. The unstable bridge trembled under the sudden motion, threatening to give way, but the elf maintained his balance and steadied the winged woman in his grasp.

“LEGOLAS!” she snapped in fierce anger. Her threatening gaze—one that he had only seen directed towards enemies—poured into him, almost incinerating his soul. 

“IT’S TOO LATE!” He barked back, ignoring the startlement that just flushed his veins and choosing to focus on the bridge crumbling beneath their feet. “RUN!” 

With that he tugged her in the opposite direction, following the remaining members of the fellowship. 

When they burst from the mines, their souls shattered like fragile glass. The hobbits collapsed upon the stony ground, their tears flowing freely, their sorrow reverberating through their chests. Agonized grimaces etched themselves onto the faces of Gimli and Boromir. Aragorn tried his best to conceal his pain, though his grey eyes betrayed him with hidden turmoil. And Legolas? He stood motionless, disbelief written across his face.

(Y/N), however, snapped him out of it. She pushed her palms against his chest, hard. “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?”

He twisted to look at her. “What?”

“Why did you stop me?!” The Rámaite Mahtar quipped back aggressively. She grasped onto the two arrows still embedded in her wing. She yanked them out. “I COULD HAVE SAVED HIM!” 

Legolas shook his head, his tone calm and full of despair. “No, (Y/N). No, you could not.”

Her hands ran through her hair, frantically and angrily, the strands tangled and pulled on as she sought release from the overwhelming emotions rippling through her blood. A frustrated scream escaped her lips—a raw manifestation of these turbulent feelings surging. With a sudden burst, she spun back around, facing him with eyes ablaze. “I have killed one of those–those balrogs!” She took an enraged step towards him. “My legion and I bleed one dry of its fire! And you—”

Legolas interrupted her, his tone now picking up. “And I stopped you from killing yourself! You and your legion—”

“Legolas!—”

He grabbed onto her shoulders as his next words raced across the stones, silencing the area from all but tears. “YOUR LEGION ISN'T HERE!” 

The wind skipped through the leaves of the trees, uneasy at the elf’s sudden tone. It blew gently upon the despairing people, begging to kiss their skin with some kind of hope, but only succeeding in tearing their hearts further. Still, it continued its melancholic dance. Seemingly carrying the weight of their shattered souls with its whispering of sorrowful melodies. 

Nature itself mourned alongside (Y/N) as she stared, bewildered, at Legolas. 

The Prince closed his eyes and lowered his head. He inhaled deeply, regretting his tone. After a moment, now returned to his normal steady and calm temperament, he gazed into her eyes and spoke again. “(Y/N), your legion is not here and they will remain absent. They were not present to help you defeat this Balrog and they will not come to help you fight others. They are imprisoned, beyond your reach. They won't escape as you did—not now, not after you have. The chains will have been fortified and the gates sealed with blood. You are the sole Rámaite Mahtar that will ever step on these lands.” He paused, his tone now a whisper. “You are alone.”

(Y/N)’s expression distorted. Her brows crinkled, her lips quivered, her eyes watered, and her form shook. Emotions whipped through her blood, boiling and freezing in the pain of realization and acceptance. She supposed a part of her had thought that her race would eventually return with her—join her in learning this plane. Though now that that secret hope was exposed and disproven, there was nothing else to be said. The truth stood liberated from the web of self-created falsehoods that had previously concealed it.

“(Y/N),” Legolas whispered, realizing the dream he had just shattered. 

And that was all it took. 

A loud sob escaped her throat and tears pooled down her face. She flung her form into his arms and cried.

She cried and she cried—as loudly as the hobbits. 

And Legolas held her. He rocked her back and forth as he smoothed her hair, desperately trying to keep her safe from the pain, though he knew it was too late. He pressed a kiss to her head as he whispered into her ear. “Though you may be alone among your kind, I will forever be by your side.”

…..

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6

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[leviathanlazarus]

Smother the Flame in Your Heart - Part XIV

Read previous parts here or read on Ao3

Pairing: Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka

Word Count: ~3500

Warnings: vampire stuff, you know how it is;)

---

“I really don’t know how else to explain this to you,” Sam said to Josh. They had been sitting outside in the same patio chairs that Jake and Danny had been sitting in on the night of their birthday celebration, and Sam was completely exhausted. He missed Danny desperately. But he also felt perhaps just as much red-hot rage and betrayal so strong that it blew through him like a tornado.

“Samuel, just saying something is something doesn’t make it true,” Josh countered, small enough to lift his legs up and cross them in the chair. “Just saying Danny is a vampire isn’t going to make me believe it.”

Sam groaned, tipping his head back to look at the blazing sunset for a few seconds instead of his brother’s disbelieving face. He actually hadn’t expected Josh to be such a hard sell–Josh loved mythology as much, if not more, than his twin, and was always full of whimsy, always creating stories and lore of his own. 

“I told you, Josh,” Sam whined, snatching the pack of cigarettes that was sitting idly between them. He’d never smoked so much in his life apart from the past four days. “The hickies, Danny avoiding you–that’s stuff you saw firsthand. I’ve felt his fangs in me, I get to see them all the time. Those are real. He drinks blood for fuck’s sake, and he has to drink it to stay alive.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“What, like I’m gonna take a moral stance against a fucking hot as fuck vampire who actually doesn’t kill people?” Sam snorted with a cigarette in one hand and the lighter in the other. “Yeah, right.”

“Okay, that’s fair,” Josh said, taking the pack back for his own indulgence. “I’m just trying to wrap my head around it, that’s all. How have I been alive for this long and not known vampires are real?”

“Danny always stresses that it’s not glamorous,” Sam supplied, and saying his name again had his heart turning wistful and sore.  “Like I said before, he refers to it as a disease. He’s been infected and it’s just something he has to deal with, but he doesn’t wanna hurt anyone. I’m sure he’s not alone in trying to be stealth.”

“Does he hurt you?”

Sam shook his head while he took a drag. “Fuck no. I fucking love it.”

Josh snorted. “I should have known. You’ve never once looked…hm. Turned off by him, I suppose I could say.”

Sam’s cheeks flushed. “TMI, Josh. Sorry.”

Josh gave a wave of his hand. “Nah, fuck it. He’s hot, Sammy. Anyone can see that.”

Sam narrowed his eyes behind the smoke and stared at his brother. “Shut the fuck up. Don’t get any ideas. Jake’s bad enough for–” He stopped, fingers going limp as they held the cigarette, not sure what he was even accusing Jake of. 

“Bad enough for what? You don’t think they’ve fucked around, do you?”

The incredibly brief blip of that image sent Sam’s heart into a wild frenzy, his mind reeling, the smoke in his lungs acrid. “No, I know they haven’t. Danny would never. He said he just wants to be friends.”

“Also fair.”

Sam sighed, physically too exhausted to get worked up into his own frenzy. “So, since Danny got ‘infected’ or however you want to say it, he’s isolated himself. He’d go out to feed, y’know, because he had to, and he has his job and his family. But that was it.” He took another drag, not entirely ignoring how his hand was shaking a bit. “He didn’t know how to tell anyone. Like, of course no one would believe him, right? You don’t.” At that, Josh shook his head, but Sam went on: “And then we found each other and it’s been great. And maybe I’m being selfish because, fuck it, yeah, a part of me wants all of Danny all to myself all the time. But I know he deserves friends and he and Jake get along really well, but–shit. Why’d they have to fucking lie to me, Josh?”

Josh was silent, face contemplative with his eyes cast out, looking into the trees and the sky for a few moments, then he said, “All I can say right now, Sammy, is that Danny loves you like a motherfucker and it sounds like he was a little scared and unsure of how to navigate all of this. As for Jake, you know he’d never do anything to hurt you. He’s just–” Another, shorter pause as Josh waved his hand in the air, searching for the word while Sam searched his face. “He’s a romantic. And you know how much he loves vampires. To him, I bet it seems like you hit the jackpot and he can’t even get a scrap of leftovers.”

“Yeah, well,” Sam began, looking down at the ash he tapped from his cigarette. “Danny’s mine. Sucks to be Jake, I guess.”

“Sam. We need to take this in stride. Jake is your brother. Yes, he should have done more than just hint to you by reading Dracula in front of you,” Josh said with a quiet chuckle. “But put yourself in his place for a second. I have a feeling you’d also be trying to covet a secret friendship with a vampire, too.” He leaned over to elbow Sam in the arm. “Hello, Sammy! You were already doing that.”

“It’s Danny’s secret, not mine. I wasn’t just gonna tell you guys.”

“Well, did you talk more with Danny about that after your birthday trip? It sounds like you wanted it to be a secret more than he did.”

Sam’s shoulders slumped; he flicked ash from the cigarette again and gave a simple but despondent, “Not really.”

“Ah. Perhaps that’s worth considering,” Josh replied, gently jostling Sam’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay, but you all have to make it okay. I also bet Danny is dying to see you right now.”

“Yeah.” Sam let the silence stick around, smoking some more, letting the acrid smoke fill his lungs some more, until a little alarm rang in his head. “Oh fuck,” he sputtered, that smoke spewing from his lips. “He hasn’t–shit, he hasn’t fed in so long.” The explicit thought being, Danny could actually be dying.

“How long?” Josh asked, Sam not even fully looking at him as he sprung to his feet and grabbed his phone from the deck banister. “How long can he go?”

“About a week,” Sam replied, hitting the call button beneath Danny’s name on his screen. “A week on average. Sometimes a little longer, but not much.”

“How long has it been?”

Sam stamped the cigarette out in the ashtray so hard the whole thing skidded off the table and onto the deck floor, gray ash puffing into the air. “Longer than that.” He could see now how selfish he’d been about all of this, but not even realizing Danny had gone so long without blood made Sam want to die himself. Danny also, Sam knew, wouldn’t go out for a stranger again. Not after he learned how much it hurt Sam, how much Sam begged, what they ended up having together. No, Danny would just let himself starve to simply not bother anyone else, Sam especially.

“No answer?” Josh asked, glancing up from his kneeling position on the wood, trying to scoop whatever ash he could back into place. 

Sam huffed and dialed again. “No.” It rang and rang and went to voicemail again. He locked his phone and started to charge back to the house. “I gotta go over there.”

Not a second passed before Josh said, right behind him, “I’m coming with you, Sammy.” Sam kept moving, gathering his keys, putting on shoes, frantic and frazzled until a small yet strong hand found his arm and made him steady. “He’ll be alright,” Josh said, and though the statement was admittedly a little comforting, Sam couldn’t fully believe it.

-

“I’d love it if you could help me,” Danny told Jake, looking at his neck, his bare arms and wrists–the parts of his body that were visible and that Danny could bite. The parts he did want to bite and drink from, not even to test his taste theory or because he was attracted to Jake, but because he really was so desperate. “But if we did that, Sam would hate me and then, not to be melodramatic or anything, but I really wouldn’t have much of a reason to live.” Not since the beginning of his new life as a vampire had he ever been so depleted–completely empty and clinging to life. But there was no way in hell he was going to betray Sam any further. 

Jake let out a long, slow breath with a matching slow nod. “Okay. So let’s call Sammy, right? At the very least, you guys need to talk.”

Danny nodded too, grabbing his phone from the end table beside the couch. He’d had it on mute all day and had hardly looked at it, since each time he did he just wanted to reach out to his boyfriend over and over. A cold chill ran down his spine when he saw the missed calls from Sam, all from just a few minutes prior. 

“He’s been calling me,” he told Jake, putting the phone to his ear after he hit “call back.” On the second ring, Sam picked up the call, a quick blurt of Danny’s name punctuated with a question mark coming in past the sound of wind. “Hey, Sam,” Danny said, sitting forward on the couch, legs bent straight, feet against the floor, while Jake shifted next to him, positioning himself the same way.

“Thank god you’re alive,” Sam said. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Danny–I didn’t even realize how long it’s been. I’m on my way.”

Danny’s instinct led him to thoughts of, You don’t have to, it’s okay, don’t worry about it, take all the time you need, but no–fuck that, he concluded. “You’re my hero,” he said instead, smiling a little and nearly forgetting Jake was even next to him. “My white knight. You know I just wanna see you though, right? It’s not about–”

“You need it, Daniel, and I want you to have it from me.”

Danny became more aware of Jake again; he glanced over at him picking at the label on his beer bottle and watching Danny right back. “I always want it from you. I always want you.”

“You’re gonna be fine, Danny. Promise. We’ll talk more after,” Sam told him. “I’m almost there. Josh is with me, by the way.”

Danny swallowed. “That’s totally cool. Um–Jake is here.”

An unsettling pause festered for a long moment before Sam said, “Oh, he is? Great. That’s–fuck. Did you–”

“No. Nothing,” Danny interrupted. “We’ve just been talking. He was worried.”

Sam sighed. “Fine. I really don’t want to see him right now but–it’s fine. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Soon,” Danny repeated. “Thank you.” 

More unsettling silence–foreign to Danny when he was normally with Jake–settled in the apartment. Thankfully, the wait was short and soon enough, his buzzer went off; Danny got to his feet again but, also again, found himself wobbly and lightheaded. Jake hopped up and placed gentle hands on his shoulders, easing him back down onto the couch.

“Just sit,” he said, voice soft, even a bit weak–Danny didn’t doubt Jake was also feeling guilty now. “I’ll let them up.”

“I should give Sam my spare keys,” Danny said, embarrassed that he hadn’t offered them any sooner. They’d just always come to his place together. Perhaps those keys would be one step in the road to making up with his boyfriend. 

“He’d like that,” Jake said, who stayed idle by the door, letting his body relax against the wall while his face looked anything but. It was odd for Danny to see him that way; then again, Danny could imagine how odd he looked too, all drained and debilitated. 

After being buzzed up, no knock interrupted the dreadful silence that had resumed–Sam just burst through the door, blazing right past Jake while Josh trailed behind him, and Danny barely had time to blink before his beloved was right in front of him. Sam sank to his knees in front of the couch, hands resting on Danny’s thighs as he looked up at him with far more worry and care than Danny had been expecting to receive right away.

“Fuck. Fuck, Danny, I’m so sorry,” Sam said, grimacing and taking one of Danny’s hands in his.

Danny chuckled. “Do I really look that bad?”

“You look sick,” Sam said, unable to be any more descriptive than that. Before he’d realized how long it had been since Danny had fed, he’d been prepared to eventually approach him with guns blazing, with the rage and self-righteousness he was so comfortable with. All that changed once he realized the situation and his feelings softened further when he got Danny on the phone; but being right in front of him and seeing the pale skin, hollowed cheeks, the bruise-like half moons beneath his eyes and dry lips alarmed Sam so badly that he knew he had just as much to feel guilty about. If not more.

“Hey,” Josh said, just loud enough to break both Sam and Danny’s focus. “Jake and I are gonna go for a walk. We’ll come back and talk?”

Danny nodded; Sam huffed and turned back to him as he said to his brothers, “Don’t rush.” When the door shut and they were in the clear, Sam got up and planted himself right in Danny’s lap, hands on those usually strong but now slumped and deflated shoulders. “Okay, let’s go. And before you say it, don’t say it.”

Danny felt better just being able to touch Sam, though the hunger undeniably remained. It even grew with Sam on top of him, his scent all up in Danny’s face, his skin so smooth and perfect looking, then warm beneath his hands as Danny gripped Sam’s arms. “Say what?”

“Say ‘are you sure?’”

“Well–”

Sam grabbed a fistful of hair from Danny’s nape and gave a warning tug. “Nope. I’m not playing that game today, Daniel.” He brought his neck closer to Danny’s mouth. “Drink up.”

Finally wise enough to not question anything further, Danny did. He hugged Sam into his body, brushed his hair back and sank his teeth into that beautiful neck. He was so overwhelmed by finally being able to hold his boyfriend again, smell him, taste him again, that he didn’t care about the brutal “hickey” that would be leftover or how they even got to this point in the first place. He just breathed and tasted, drinking up his fill of warm, sweet, unbelievably delicious blood from his unbelievably incredible boyfriend. 

Sam didn’t really care either at the moment. He closed his eyes and hugged Danny right back, sighing and relaxing as he sucked as much as he needed, always so careful to never go even slightly overboard. It might have been weird–even downright messed up–but Sam felt safe when they did this. He wanted Danny to feel the same way. So he kept holding him tight as Danny slurped the last little mouthful, then licked and kissed the bite marks until they faded. 

“So are you okay?” Sam asked once Danny pulled back. His neck burned as his skin always did once the biting and bloodsucking was over, but his heart burned even hotter.

Danny sighed through his nose as he licked his lips. He finally felt warm and sort of full–relieved and safe physically, but still unsteady emotionally. “I don’t know. Are we okay?”

Sam slid off Danny’s lap and sat beside him instead, suddenly feeling quite debilitated himself. “I don’t know.” He looked over at the beer bottle that had been left behind by his brother. “What’s been going on with you and Jake?”

“Not really anything, honestly, Sam,” Danny said, reaching for his own neglected beer. “I didn’t think so anyway. I just–it’s like I told you. I was worried he’d lose interest in being my friend if the secret between us died so fast, you know? Like, I just wanted to keep a little intrigue. A little mystery.”

“Danny, what’s more intriguing and mysterious than just being a fucking vampire?” Sam countered, taking the beer for a sip of his own after Danny drank. “I don’t get why it needed to be a secret for you two.” He saw the hurt in Danny’s face and continued: “But I don’t think I made things very easy for you. I was the one who was adamant about everything being secret from everyone and…and that wasn’t fair to you.”

Danny sighed. “Thank you.”

“I just didn’t want you with anyone else anymore. Anyone else, including my brothers.”

“I have no interest in being with anyone else.” Danny chuckled and took the beer back. “Why do you think I’ve been fucking starving lately?”

Sam lunged forward to plant a kiss on Danny’s forehead, cradling his face in his hands. “You’re a good boy. I know. And I’m a fucking selfish asshole.”

Danny shook his head, taking Sam’s hands in his own. “We’ve both been a little selfish. We can work through that. Right now, I’m more worried about you and Jake.”

Sam flopped back with a loud sigh, gangly limbs draping themselves over the half of the couch where Jake had been sitting. “Yeah, me too. But I’m pissed at him. Don’t I have a right to be?”

“You do,” Danny agreed, knowing the road to success for everyone was placating Sam above all else. “I think there’s some things he wants to explain to you. But I can tell you now that he never meant any harm.”

Sam believed that. Jake and Josh and Sam had never been anything but loyal, ride-or-die best friends and brothers since they were kids, no matter how many fights they had throughout the years. Sam would prefer to hash things out with fists than words, but he knew that wouldn’t work this time. Still, when the twins returned and Jake started explaining his side of things, hearing that he had feelings for Danny made it very difficult to not start throwing punches. That was an even worse secret. It proved Sam’s hunches had been right and made Jake to be even more of a traitor in his mind.

Hands clenching into tight fists while Jake spoke, Sam was so hurt and angry he was mostly speechless, only sparing a few grunts of disapproval and scoffs. Jake looked hurt too, with sad, dark eyes that pleaded for his brother to just take it easy on him, not even necessarily forgive him. Beside him, Danny kept one hand on Sam’s thigh as if to try and keep him from springing up and lashing out; but as much as Sam felt that urge, he also still felt exhausted. He had to remind himself that he wasn’t a teenager anymore–he had to remember that if there was one thing he could never control, it was how other people felt. It wasn’t Jake’s fault he had a crush on Danny. It wasn’t Danny’s fault either. It wasn’t Danny’s fault he was a vampire. But it was Sam’s own fault for being so demanding and harsh, for trying to box his boyfriend in and for making it even harder for those secrets he hated so much to be revealed at all.

 “I just like vampires,” was what Jake concluded with, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the couch, looking down and fiddling with the fibers of the carpet. “I like Danny too, for more reasons than just that. I’m really sorry I crossed a line, Sam. And Danny, too. Sorry to both of you.”

Sam let all of Jake’s words linger for a minute while he let his breathing slow. With another sigh, he sat forward, hanging his arms between his knees, and looked at his brother as he said, “I love you, Jake. Just stop fucking flirting with my boyfriend.”

Both twins’ faces relaxed at that, but Josh was the first to actually laugh. Jake laughed next, quieter, and nodded while he replied, “Okay. I can do that.”

“You have to admit it, Sammy,” Josh chimed in, and Sam knew it must have been excruciating for him to stay silent this whole time. “Danny really is quite alluring.” 

“I admit that freely,” Sam said, giving his boyfriend a grin before turning back to his brothers. “But he’s mine.”

---

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[luckydragon10]

KPRecFest Creator Rec: Aurum

One of the big challenges in @kprecfest (rec fest website) was to create a derivative fanwork to recommend a fanwork, and today's the day for posting those.

Three days ago, the new fic Aurum was published, and I KNEW I wanted to rec it by creating something for it. I didn't know at the time how awful my muse was going to be about it, but, y'know, so it goes.

Aurum is going in my "Gave You All the Feels" square because it did exactly that! I love me some possessive!Kinn, and dragon!Kinn, and mates!KinnPorsche, and this scratched every reading itch I had.

Then over the past 2.5 days, I wrote and polished Heart on Fire, which is sad and made me and my beta cry, and no one should read it. Go read Aurum instead! It's truly lovely.

Details about both fics after the cut.

Aurum (3246 words) by bewarethetreaclepuppies Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: รักโคตรร้ายสุดท้ายโคตรรัก | KinnPorsche: The Series (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Porsche Pachara Kittisawat/Kinn Anakinn Theerapanyakun Characters: Kinn Anakinn Theerapanyakun, Porsche Pachara Kittisawat Additional Tags: dragon kinn, Human Porsche, Pining, Kinn Anakinn Theerapanyakun is So Whipped, Mates, Mating, Mating Bond, Dragon sex, In that he is a dragon and he has sex, Possessive Kinn Anakinn Theerapanyakun, Speedrunning dragon lore, body marking, Soul Marking Series: Part 1 of Fantasy One Shots Summary: He can’t help but think of Porsche when he hoards, has the echo of him ringing in his ears as he clicks checkout or digs into the earth or shakes hands with a dealer. He can’t help that his tongue forks to taste the air that Porsche moves through, although he is just himself enough to keep it within the confines of his own mouth. He has no way of preventing his claws from sharpening with the promise of catching Porsche and bringing him to his den.

~~~

Heart on Fire (3120 words) by LuckyDragon Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: KinnPorsche: The Series (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Porsche Pachara Kittisawat/Kinn Anakinn Theerapanyakun Characters: Kinn Anakinn Theerapanyakun, Porsche Pachara Kittisawat Additional Tags: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Mind the Tags, I mean it, Hurt No Comfort, dragon!kinn, Human!Porsche, I cried while writing this, My beta cried while editing this, Speedrunning dragon lore, KPRecFest, Inspired by Fanfiction, Mates, Vore, my muse was unkind to me, Mythology - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Mythology, Catharsis Summary: Kinn carries a precious burden in his paws as his long, serpentine body cuts through the sky, his tail whipping behind like a ribbon. He has to be mindful of what he holds, keeping his claws back so as not to cause damage. He tucks his treasure close to his heart, above his belly, which is stuffed overfull, rounded and aching and hot.   Dragons aren't meant to be without their mates.

[astronomyforastrologers]

From the Realm of Pisces ~ 14 Jun 2024

From the Realm of Pisces ~ 14 Jun 2024 , Philip Sedgwick

Presently and until February 2025, Saturn and Nessus more or less travel together in Pisces on the ecliptic. Nessus, a centaur, possesses an unsavory reputation and whose mythological lore notes his proclivity for less than desirable behaviors including, but not limited to, deception and ultimately revenge. As a result of Nessus’ nefarious deeds, bad blood between involved parties typically results. Then there’s Saturn who conducted his own despicable acts of retaliation and is oft perceived as the cosmic naysayer though this reputation is not complicated to undo.

Presumably wiser from his experiences and insights absorbed, Saturn shakes his head in that “I don’t want to say I told you so” manner at Nessus and all those applying unnecessary and less than ideal efforts during transits from the centaur. Saturn follows with a wag of an extended gnarly index finger noting, “We’ll have none of that now, thank you.”

As will all celestial objects with woefully bad behavior histories, the job of those navigating transits from these objects is to understand the motives behind poor mythological choices. And thus, prevent engaging life with similar reactions regardless of instinctive reactions to conditions at hand. With planets and solar system entities possessing complicated mythologies, transits can be dreaded. However, with conscious intent to take high roads and with the conjuring of creative and constructive alternatives, life proceeds more smoothly and presumably without unmitigated mayhem. Collectively, astrological guidance evolved regarding Pluto, even Uranus and absolutely Saturn. Now, as we experience more transits, we discover applications well suited for the likes of Eris, Gonggong, Ixion, Nessus and the entire lot of objects presumably hell bent on disrupting life with poor behavior.

The thing about Saturn (and all these other objects, too) is he always can be found somewhere on the ecliptic. And, it seems, he constantly serves up things that enhance his reputation for restriction, limitation and liability. No matter where Saturn travels not much time passes before he enjoys transits from the Sun, the Moon, and the personal planets. From the sign the inner solar system bodies traverse, aspects are made to the stunning ringed one that serve the purposes of dutiful action, disciplined effort, and enduring attention. The upcoming aspect patterns permit a bit of a respite from the recent stressful aspects and the zaniness of life. Soon, Saturn in Pisces enjoys easing trines from the Sun and the two planets nearest our gravitational core in support of the ongoing transit with Nessus, as well as a sextile involving Mars.

Upcoming we have:

26 June Mercury trines Saturn (and Nessus) from Cancer.

02 July Venus trines Saturn (and Nessus) from Cancer.

05 July Mars sextiles Saturn (and Nessus) from Taurus.

10 July the Sun trines (Saturn and Nessus) from Cancer.

Summarizing the above:

The influence of Cancer holds tight to matters of assigned emotional importance and memories that matter. In actuality, letting go serves superior purposes. Move on, stay safe within ones natural zones, and create a life comfort strata that feeds the soul.

Despite the trine to Cancer, with Nessus in Pisces any perception of persecution and deception demands revenge in the initial knee-jerk reaction. With the Nessus “level the playing field” consciousness, though ones demise may result within the plan, the end justifies the mean. Nessus’ point is to do unto those that done more wrong than he feels was done unto him. The result: a lust for vengeance blinds sensibilities.

As mentioned before, the prohibiting force of Saturn correctively states: “Stand down, Nessus. We operate with impeccable Newtonian physics herein. Cause and effect is king. Seeking revenge is a projection that verifies your subjective biases and places you in dubious renown. Think before poking the bear.” With Saturn in Pisces the purpose of transits (especially those strengthened through combined effort) is the release of that which stands in ones way - a washing away rather than evolutionary erosion.

Saturn in tandem with Nessus seeks to throttle all urges for retaliation and revenge. Saturn calmly asks, “Is that so important to you, that you’ll go to the ends of the Earth to exact revenge even if your expiration is guaranteed in the process? It does take time to extract revenge and there is no rationale to justify doing so.”

Saturn in Pisces potentially induces hesitation based upon apprehension and concern of persecution. This is not a matter of others seeking to thwart ones life efforts. Saturn supports seeking a healthy attitude toward long range consequence. Given his Newtonian Physics slant on life (for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction), he supports transactional communication, “I can do this and you can do this and that all favors both of us,” to create cooperative real world efforts. Saturn stresses remaining on the straight and narrow while transacting such exchanges.

So what can one do with Saturn’s and Nessus’ current pairing?

Consider all personal exchanges in life. Approach each with clarity of the optimal end game.

Resist the urge to invoke knee-jerk responses that are not ideal. First, process the emotion behind the reaction. Is the first response aligned with the reality of the situation? If so, by sorting emotions and clarifying what is optimal, then one can determine how to reengage with the best foot forward and optimal objectives in mind.

Examine the motive any and all intended emotional communication before expressing said feeling. Is the expression needed? Will it serve to satisfy your wishes? Can you process the emotion in the privacy of your psyche’s inner workings? Keep in mind, offering conciliatory acts does not imply doormat status.

More soon.

One Stop Shopping Order Form Astrological Texts

Meteoric the Movie on Vimeo ZAP! on Vimeo

[linuxgamenews]

Step into a World of Turkic Mythology with The Nightscarred: Forgotten Gods

The Nightscarred: Forgotten Gods is a first-person action game with co-op coming to both Linux and Windows PC. Thanks to the creative talents of Shadowfall Studios. Due to make its way onto Steam. Shadowfall Studios is eager to announce its debut title, The Nightscarred: Forgotten Gods, coming soon to Linux and Windows PC. This game is due to shake up the first-person action scene with a fresh twist. Get ready to dive into a world where you can craft powerful spells and wield melee weapons. All set against the rich backdrop of Turkic mythology. Doğa Can Yanıkoğlu, Co-founder and Gameplay Programmer at Shadowfall Studios, says, "Our top priority is giving players the freedom to play how they want in this immersive action experience. In The Nightscarred: Forgotten Gods, you can craft your own magical abilities and mix them up with melee combat. And the best part? You can do it solo or with a friend in co-op mode."

Fast-Paced Hybrid Combat

Choose Your Playstyle: Run, kick, cast spells, sneak around, and take down enemies. Doing so in all sorts of creative ways.

Independent Control: Use your crafted magical abilities and melee weapons separately. Keeping full control over each.

Unrestricted Movement: Perform offensive moves while staying mobile. No more standing still while casting spells!

The Nightscarred: Forgotten Gods | Announcement Trailer

Spellcrafting

Create Your Spells: Gather runes during gameplay and use them to craft your own unique spells.

Hybrid Combat System: Combine runes to make spells that fit perfectly within Nightscarred’s combat style.

Customization: Modify imbuement types, casting methods, and stats to tailor your spells to how you like to play.

Unique & Dynamic World

Rich Lore: Immerse yourself in a world inspired by ancient Turkic mythology. Also a setting rarely explored in titles.

Interactive Settings: Navigate dynamic areas, solve physics-based puzzles, and uncover hidden secrets of The Nightscarred: Forgotten Gods.

Telekinesis: Shape objects (and sometimes enemies), doing so with your mind to gain the upper hand.

Co-Op Play - The Nightscarred: Forgotten Gods

Solo or Co-op: The game’s story can be enjoyed solo, but it’s even more fun with a friend. Team up for a 2-player experience.

Invite Friends: Share the adventure and tackle the story together for double the fun.

So, what are you waiting for? Head over to the Steam page and check out The Nightscarred: Forgotten Gods. This game promises to deliver an epic adventure filled with action, magic, and a unique lore that will keep you hooked. Coming to both Linux and Windows PC. Stay tuned for more updates and get ready to embark on a journey like no other. Let's dive into the world of The Nightscarred: Forgotten Gods and unleash our inner spellcaster!

[usagifuyusummer]

Oh, I did not expect for you to agree with me lol. That's a first.

You can't really avoid those who think that animation should only confine to young children (those who complain about how these kid-friendly shows should not include darker themes at all). This problem will unfortunately persist until the end of time I'm afraid.

I'm more of an advocate that animation is a medium, not a genre. So, I will usually ignore those kinds of criticism if their reason and explanation is not sound and critical.

Still, I understand that not all people can avoid the dissapointment when reading these kinds of comments on the things you found fascinating. Like, "Why don't they understand this topic like I do?". So yeah, can't do anything about those "softies and overprotective people". They are just on a different wavelength of thinking, that's why they expressed their opinions on a show that way.

I will also shake hands 🤝 with you regarding their depiction of the fairy mythology in the Fairly Oddparents lol.

"Art disturbs those who are comfortable, and art provides comfort for those who are disturbed."

This quote by someone (I don't remember lmao), shows that art doesn't exist for a single existence. There's light and dark, ying and yang, the sunny and dark sides to everything in this world. So, I guess that's why you felt that way regarding the lore of fairies in FOP. It feels more complete in a way, how the lighter and darker aspects of the show complement each other and how they can also reflect how the real world views these concepts. I guess you can say that the lore worldbuilding in this show feels "realistic" at times despite the fantastical setting and cartoony depiction of abuse on children hahahaha.

The FOP show touches on serious problems that we can't avoid. Instead of dwelling on it and saying it's no use, the show takes its time to show that there's more to the world despite the terrible circumstances you're stuck with at birth, and for that I admire the show. Even if it doesn't give me an ending to the character I want to see finally achieving happiness the most.

That's why I won't touch FOP: A New Wish. Let the youngsters have their fun. I still feel somewhat... angry at them for not giving us the old gens the ending we deserved.

Its sibling show, Danny Phantom also suffered from writing problems, but at least there's a large dedicated fanbase and a recent comic tie-in with the show that addresses these writing issues. For FOP? Just scrap them all in the trash and just take the characters that most people actually want to see rather than giving us a special ending movie animated episode and then moving on to the new generation.

Sorry, that got cynical and bitter of me lol. You can enjoy FOPANW. I won't disturb you for it. I just... have a lot of lingering hostile emotions towards how the original got mishandled so bad towards the end. I'll handle this on my own.

Moving on..., oh you wish to create a horror FOP AU? Hm, I am not sure if you've shared your thoughts on this before, but I'm the type to read whatever anyone has written and shared. I think if you want your AU to be noticed by a large audience, you can include illustrations or sketches? It doesn't have to look pretty and complete, just understandable enough to get your idea through.

But, I don't mind reading your ideas on a horror FOP AU. In fact, I encourage you to share whatever you're thinking about the horror AU!!! There's so much potential for horror in FOP, and I think it's kinda disappointing that most people haven't realised how DARK fae lore can go in the real world lol. I've seen some fanworks that managed to implement the darker themes of FOP into their stories, and oh boy, do I enjoy it immensely. There's not many though, so just do it!!! Contribute to the darker themes of FOP fanworks *laughs maniacally*!!!

It's up to you ultimately. You can include any iteration of your favourite FOP lore (even FOPANW). I think there will be an audience for it. Just let it out lol. I'll just be reading and giving my two cents on it.

I also have a FOP AU that I've been thinking too much in the drafts lmao, but I am just swamped with university responsibilities that I can't make a serious post talking about it. I also won't expect much attention from the FOP AU I will be creating someday lol. It's just an AU I thought about to fill in the void from the original.

Yeah, this got long... Still, have fun writing!!! I can be one of your horror FOP AU readers when you eventually get that post posted lol. Thanks for reading.

A scandalous episode for many, which in my opinion changes the general image of fairies (clearly not for the better)

Many people were shocked, to put it mildly, after watching this episode. And many were unhappy and even more frightened by the behavior of Cosmo and Wanda, which I can't help but agree with. However, I liked this episode on the contrary. It shows the darker evil nature of fairies and how crazy they can sometimes become if someone simply offends their child. And it doesn't matter that this is their godson. Because of this, it now really seems to me that fairies are not who they pretend to be and the creators sometimes directly show this. For example, this phase of fairies at 2 years old(terrible twosome) when they start to go crazy and rebel against everything. You will say that "it's just a phase." Really? And the fact that Poof almost destroyed the entire Earth in this episode is considered "just a phase"? The fact that fairies can destroy all life just because of this phase begins to worry. Like, what makes them do all these terrible things? A sudden change in behavior or ….. an inner voice inside that is their secret dark essence??And if you remember the anti-fairies who are the complete opposite of fairies, then I'm starting to seriously think that they are less dangerous than them. And this is not the only scandalous episode…

(Poor Timmy… What the heck??)

And going back to that scandalous episode, I had a thought: "what if all this was true?" Because Cosmo and Wanda were enjoying this suspiciously so much and it all looked extremely realistic.. And the fact that they really left Timmy with injuries and bruises made me think that this is true and they really turn into monsters after 8 hours. And you know what? This would be a great idea for more lore between fairies and anti fairies (they, as opposites in THIS way, would look incredibly cool). And it would also be a great idea for creating some kind of horror game (well, just a note)

*Redacted

+comments to this episode

This is really.. something….

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp This is...Books. Lots and Lots of Books

That gif is something of a lie. Some of these books were not great. But! Some of them were very good! And some of them were marketed weird — seriously, what does qualify as YA — and some of them I read in, like, six hours and some of them I raged about for six hours after I finished them.

Or: 2020!Laura reverted to 2004!Laura and read just a lot of books and then her husband got her a Kindle and she read even more books and has thoughts on most of those books that she is now going to share with the internet while also making absurd category names. Note that these are only books I read for the first time this year. So, the list is missing some of the stuff I used as coping devices. ALSO SOME SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

FAVORITE BOOKS THAT MADE A SHITTY YEAR SLIGHTLY BETTER AND ALSO LIKELY MADE ME SWOON A BIT

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

When nineteen-year-old huntress Feyre kills a wolf in the woods, a terrifying creature arrives to demand retribution. Dragged to a treacherous magical land she knows about only from legends, Feyre discovers that her captor is not truly a beast, but one of the lethal, immortal faeries who once ruled her world.

At least, he's not a beast all the time.

As she adapts to her new home, her feelings for the faerie, Tamlin, transform from icy hostility into a fiery passion that burns through every lie she's been told about the beautiful, dangerous world of the Fae. But something is not right in the faerie lands. An ancient, wicked shadow is growing, and Feyre must find a way to stop it, or doom Tamlin-and his world-forever.

— I kid you not, I had to do a lap around the apartment after reading the second book in this series. Why didn’t I read this before? Why isn’t there more fic? Why I am constantly falling for dark-haired sad dudes in love with their wives??? I cannot rec this series enough. It’s got world building and found families, and that dark-haired sad dude, and magic and lore and banter, and it’s so good and I don’t understand why it was marketed as YA. The literary world is weird, guys.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians (and the Heroes of Olympus) by Rick Riordan

Accompany the son of the sea god Poseidon and his other demigod friends as they go on a series of quests that will have them facing monsters, gods, and conniving figures from Greek mythology. Do they have what it takes to save the Olympians from an ancient enemy?

— Straight up, how did you guys cope with Percy and Annabeth when you were kids reading this? I would have been OBSESSED. Quarantine felt like the perfect time to finally read all of these books, and I know it’s sacrilegious to like Heroes of Olympus, but I might have liked parts of that series more? Just because it felt like they were older and I was super into Percabeth being properly in love. Also, now I get why everyone was so upset about the movies. Fair.

The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

Humans and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. No one knows that Earth's fate hinges on one girl. . . .Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She's a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister's illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai's, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world's future.

— Yet another YA series that I will admit to loving this year. Started off a little slow, but once the world building really got underway —and it gets underway — I was hooked. If I had read this at an age-appropriate time I would have been super in love Captain Carswell Thorne. I was still kind of in love with Captan Carswell Thorne. So it should come as no surprise that Cress was my favorite of the series, but I enjoyed the whole thing, really.

Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin

Two years ago, Louise le Blanc fled her coven and took shelter in the city of Cesarine, forsaking all magic and living off whatever she could steal. There, witches like Lou are hunted. They are feared. And they are burned.As a huntsman of the Church, Reid Diggory has lived his life by one principle: Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. But when Lou pulls a wicked stunt, the two are forced into an impossible situation—marriage.Lou, unable to ignore her growing feelings, yet powerless to change what she is, must make a choice. And love makes fools of us all.

— YO. Y O. THIS WAS SO GOOD. World building! Magic! Marriage of convenience! Well-written enemies to lovers! As soon as I finished this, I bought the sequel. And then got upset the third book in the series isn’t out yet! That’s a frustrating theme for me this year.

The Roommate by Rosie Danan

The Wheatons are infamous among the east coast elite for their lack of impulse control, except for their daughter Clara. She's the consummate socialite: over-achieving, well-mannered, predictable. But every Wheaton has their weakness. When Clara's childhood crush invites her to move cross-country, the offer is too much to resist. Unfortunately, it's also too good to be true.

After a bait-and-switch, Clara finds herself sharing a lease with a charming stranger. Josh might be a bit too perceptive—not to mention handsome—for comfort, but there's a good chance he and Clara could have survived sharing a summer sublet if she hadn't looked him up on the Internet...

Once she learns how Josh has made a name for himself, Clara realizes living with him might make her the Wheaton's most scandalous story yet. His professional prowess inspires her to take tackling the stigma against female desire into her own hands. They may not agree on much, but Josh and Clara both believe women deserve better sex. What they decide to do about it will change both of their lives, and if they're lucky, they'll help everyone else get lucky too.

— I LOVED IT. L O V E D. As I told Justin “there was more porn than I was expecting,” in that porn and the adult film industry was a legitimate plot point and not just a part of Josh’s character, but it was incredibly well written and interesting and I cared about the plot. Sometimes I also wanted to shake Clara, but that was kind of the point.

The Marriage Game by Sara Desai

After her life falls apart, recruitment consultant Layla Patel returns home to her family in San Francisco. But in the eyes of her father, who runs a Michelin starred restaurant, she can do no wrong. He would do anything to see her smile again. With the best intentions in mind, he offers her the office upstairs to start her new business and creates a profile on an online dating site to find her a man. She doesn't know he's arranged a series of blind dates until the first one comes knocking on her door...

As CEO of a corporate downsizing company Sam Mehta is more used to conflict than calm. In search of a quiet new office, he finds the perfect space above a cozy Indian restaurant that smells like home. But when communication goes awry, he's forced to share his space with the owner's beautiful yet infuriating daughter Layla, her crazy family, and a parade of hopeful suitors, all of whom threaten to disrupt his carefully ordered life.

As they face off in close quarters, the sarcasm and sparks fly. But when the battle for the office becomes a battle of the heart, Sam and Layla have to decide if this is love or just a game.

— More well-written enemies to lovers! It’s possible! Seriously, the banter was so good. The kissing was even better. Ridiculous and interfering family is one of my favorite things, and this had it in SPADES. It also made me want to eat samosas, which is kind of my base setting, but I really wanted Indian food whenever I was reading this. Also, the end scene was so goddamn cute I cannot believe it actually happened.

Recipe for Persuasion by Sonali Dev

— The one that got away is one of my favorite tropes, and this modern version of Persuasion did it so well. Everyone was annoying, but in an almost understandable way that made me ache and I just wanted them TO KISS. And then they did kiss! And it was so good! Plus, at the risk of being a little self-indulgent, it was kind of Out of the Frying Pan esque and I liked that a lot. If there is a downside: it’s how quickly the relationship starts up again, like zero to 60 in two seconds flat, and that there were a lot of POVs. Which wouldn’t have been an issue if they’d been labeled, or weren’t bouncing around the timeline randomly. Sometimes I’d have to be like—wait, who’s talking about what?

Chef Ashna Raje desperately needs a new strategy. How else can she save her beloved restaurant and prove to her estranged, overachieving mother that she isn't a complete screw up? When she's asked to join the cast of Cooking with the Stars, the latest hit reality show teaming chefs with celebrities, it seems like just the leap of faith she needs to put her restaurant back on the map. She's a chef, what's the worst that could happen?Rico Silva, that's what.Being paired with a celebrity who was her first love, the man who ghosted her at the worst possible time in her life, only proves what Ashna has always believed: leaps of faith are a recipe for disaster.FIFA winning soccer star Rico Silva isn't too happy to be paired up with Ashna either. Losing Ashna years ago almost destroyed him. The only silver lining to this bizarre situation is that he can finally prove to Ashna that he's definitely over her.But when their catastrophic first meeting goes viral, social media becomes obsessed with their chemistry. The competition on the show is fierce...and so is the simmering desire between Ashna and Rico. Every minute they spend together rekindles feelings that pull them toward their disastrous past. Will letting go again be another recipe for heartbreak—or a recipe for persuasion...?

The Good Luck Charm by Helena Hunting

Lilah isn't sure what hurt worse: the day Ethan left her to focus on his hockey career or the day he came back eight years later. He might think they can pick up just where they left off, but she's no longer that same girl and never wants to be again.

Just when Lilah might finally be ready to let Ethan in, though, she finds out their reunion might have nothing to do with love and everything to do with improving his game. But Ethan's already lost her once, and even if it costs him his career, he'll do anything to keep from losing her again.

— HOCKEY ROM COM. HOCKEY. ROM. COM. Apparently this lady is regarded as the queen of “hockey romance,” which I kind of take offense to, but will give a pass on because this was a very cute book and everyone was cute in it and I was only marginally frustrated by those same people being idiots. As is required by rom coms. Hockey, or otherwise.

A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

Fall in love, break the curse. It once seemed so easy to Prince Rhen, the heir to Emberfall. Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year over and over, he knew he could be saved if a girl fell for him. But that was before he learned that at the end of each autumn, he would turn into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. That was before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope.

Nothing has ever been easy for Harper. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother barely holding their family together while constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, she learned to be tough enough to survive. But when she tries to save someone else on the streets of Washington, DC, she's instead somehow sucked into Rhen's cursed world.

Break the curse, save the kingdom. A prince? A monster? A curse? Harper doesn't know where she is or what to believe. But as she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what's at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.

— Beauty and the Beast AU!!! Fantasy! Magic! Romance! I loved this, even when Rhen was being a whiny idiot. But he was also cursed, so like—fair. This dives into the politics of a cursed kingdom, puts a fun spin on the original fairy tale and also has a sequel. Which I read, and possibly enjoyed more. Only to realize the third book isn’t published yet, and then got annoyed by that.

QUESTIONABLY-GOOD FREE FANTASY BOOKS ON AMAZON

The Silver and Orchids Collection by Shari L Tapscott

What happens when a feisty adventuress, a lord looking to make his own way in the world, and a handsome sea captain set out to find Kalae’s rarest and most valuable flower?

Trouble—and lots of it.

— Snarky flirting! Adventure! Sword fights! Listen, this is not prize-winning fiction, but Lucia is a fun heroine, the rest of her adventure-seeking friends are an absolute delight and you don’t have to think too much while reading it. All four books wrap up their individual storylines, but help set up the next one and while the ending felt a little forced (and way too quick) I didn’t hate it enough to throw the Kindle across the room.

Forest of Firelight by Shari L. Tapscsott

After the sudden death of her brother, Princess Amalia is charged with what feels like an impossible task—she must choose the next king. Youthful thoughts of love are pushed aside as she accepts her fate, setting upon a quest throughout the kingdom to find a man worthy of her father’s throne.

Little does Amalia know, someone has already set his sights on her.

Rhys is a man of secrets, and his mission is simple: befriend the princess of Renove. Coax her to trust him, convince her to follow him.

Betray her when it’s time.

All goes according to plan until Rhys meets the princess. Amalia is a disaster. Never has he met someone so drawn to trouble. Never has he met someone so irritatingly likable.

He’s not allowed to fall for her.

She could never entrust him with a crown.

But, unbeknownst to them, their unlikely partnership might be the key to saving their entire world from a darkness that’s slowly creeping from the wounded earth that separates one kingdom from the next.

— FORBIDDEN LOVE! It’s good! Real good! I read this whole series (or the three books in it, so far) in a questionably short amount of time. Again, not the deepest story, and Amalia is occasionally frustratingly dumb. While Rhys is also sort of all-knowing in that fantasy hero sort of way? Y’know what I mean? Still, they banter very well, and eventually kiss even better.

LESS GOOD FANTASY BOOKS THAT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE JUST BEEN AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON AMAZON

Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian

Theodosia was six when her country was invaded and her mother, the Fire Queen, was murdered before her eyes. On that day, the Kaiser took Theodosia's family, her land, and her name. Theo was crowned Ash Princess—a title of shame to bear in her new life as a prisoner.

For ten years Theo has been a captive in her own palace. She's endured the relentless abuse and ridicule of the Kaiser and his court. She is powerless, surviving in her new world only by burying the girl she was deep inside.

Then, one night, the Kaiser forces her to do the unthinkable. With blood on her hands and all hope of reclaiming her throne lost, she realizes that surviving is no longer enough. But she does have a weapon: her mind is sharper than any sword. And power isn't always won on the battlefield.

For ten years, the Ash Princess has seen her land pillaged and her people enslaved. That all ends here.

— I wanted to love this series. So much so that I read the whole thing. All three books. And I’m still not sure why. The world building, maybe. Which was very good, and the politics actually kept me interested, but every single character was the absolute worst and I kind of wanted them all to die. That’s not even an exaggeration. Spoiler, they didn’t all die. I was only marginally disappointed.

Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller

When the ruthless Pirate King learns of a legendary treasure map hidden on an enemy ship, his daughter, Alosa, knows that there's only one pirate for the job—herself. Leaving behind her beloved ship and crew, Alosa deliberately facilitates her own kidnapping to ensure her passage on the enemy ship. After all, who's going to suspect a seventeen-year-old girl locked in a cell?Then she meets the (surprisingly perceptive and unfairly attractive) first mate, Riden, who is charged with finding out all her secrets. Now it's down to a battle of wits and will... Can Alosa find the map and escape before Riden figures out her plan?

— Alosa was kind of the worst? Like, STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER who had to keep reminding you how strong she was because she would kill anyone, and had an all female pirate crew. And the whole time I was just like, ok...cool. Still, I read the sequel too and that was slightly better.

The Shadows Between Us by Tricia Levenseller

Alessandra is tired of being overlooked, but she has a plan to gain power:

1) Woo the Shadow King.

2) Marry him.

3) Kill him and take his kingdom for herself.

No one knows the extent of the freshly crowned Shadow King's power. Some say he can command the shadows that swirl around him to do his bidding. Others say they speak to him, whispering the thoughts of his enemies. Regardless, Alessandra knows what she deserves, and she's going to do everything within her power to get it.

But Alessandra's not the only one trying to kill the king. As attempts on his life are made, she finds herself trying to keep him alive long enough for him to make her his queen—all while struggling not to lose her heart. After all, who better for a Shadow King than a cunning, villainous queen?

— I cannot explain this book any way except to tell you it is so weird. Like, sometimes I remember I read this and all I can think is: why did this book happen? It felt like it started in the middle of the story, which is not a knock on the story itself, but mostly on the world building. Which was lacking to say the least. Also the resolution was super rushed and even more weird and I was like—why does he like her??? I still don’t know, honestly.

The Stars We Steal by Alexa Donne

Engagement season is in the air. Eighteen-year-old Princess Leonie "Leo" Kolburg, heir to a faded European spaceship, has only one thing on her mind: which lucky bachelor can save her family from financial ruin?

But when Leo's childhood friend and first love, Elliot, returns as the captain of a successful whiskey ship, everything changes. Elliot was the one who got away, the boy Leo's family deemed to be unsuitable for marriage. Now he's the biggest catch of the season and he seems determined to make Leo's life miserable. But old habits die hard, and as Leo navigates the glittering balls of the Valg Season, she finds herself falling for her first love in a game of love, lies, and past regrets.

— Another book whose lack of world building hurt it. Stuff just happened, and we were expected to understand it and be into it and I was neither. I had no reason to care about anyone in this book, especially Elliot who seemed like an asshole.

To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

Princess Lira is siren royalty and the most lethal of them all. With the hearts of seventeen princes in her collection, she is revered across the sea. Until a twist of fate forces her to kill one of her own. To punish her daughter, the Sea Queen transforms Lira into the one thing they loathe most—a human. Robbed of her song, Lira has until the winter solstice to deliver Prince Elian's heart to the Sea Queen and or remain a human forever.The ocean is the only place Prince Elian calls home, even though he is heir to the most powerful kingdom in the world. Hunting sirens is more than an unsavory hobby—it's his calling. When he rescues a drowning woman in the ocean, she's more than what she appears. She promises to help him find the key to destroying all of sirenkind for good—But can he trust her? And just how many deals will Elian have to barter to eliminate mankind's greatest enemy?

— This book did not go the way I thought it was going to. Not a bad thing, but also not the best and the ending was...bleh. The middle, though? That was legit, and the action was good. I am always a fan of sword fights. Still, there was something that left me waiting for the final push towards great and it just never really came.

ROM-COMS WITH ONLY PASSABLY FRUSTRATING PLOTS AND GOOD KISSING

Party of Two by Jasmine Guillory

Dating is the last thing on Olivia Monroe's mind when she moves to LA to start her own law firm. But when she meets a gorgeous man at a hotel bar and they spend the entire night flirting, she discovers too late that he is none other than hotshot junior senator Max Powell. Olivia has zero interest in dating a politician, but when a cake arrives at her office with the cutest message, she can't resist—it is chocolate cake, after all.

Olivia is surprised to find that Max is sweet, funny, and noble—not just some privileged white politician, as she assumed him to be. Because of Max's high-profile job, they start seeing each other secretly, which leads to clandestine dates and silly disguises. But when they finally go public, the intense media scrutiny means people are now digging up her rocky past and criticizing her job, even her suitability as a trophy girlfriend. Olivia knows what she has with Max is something special, but is it strong enough to survive the heat of the spotlight?

— It was cute. Max was occasionally an idiot. The kissing was legit. Most of their problems could have very easily been solved, but that’s kind of this genre’s schtick.

The Worst Best Man by Mia Sosa

A wedding planner left at the altar? Yeah, the irony isn't lost on Carolina Santos, either. But despite that embarrassing blip from her past, Lina's offered an opportunity that could change her life. There's just one hitch... she has to collaborate with the best (make that worst) man from her own failed nuptials. Marketing expert Max Hartley is determined to make his mark with a coveted hotel client looking to expand its brand. Then he learns he'll be working with his brother's whip-smart, stunning—absolutely off-limits—ex-fiancée. And she loathes him.If they can nail their presentation without killing each other, they'll both come out ahead. Except Max has been public enemy number one ever since he encouraged his brother to jilt the bride, and Lina's ready to dish out a little payback of her own.Soon Lina and Max discover animosity may not be the only emotion creating sparks between them. Still, this star-crossed couple can never be more than temporary playmates because Lina isn't interested in falling in love and Max refuses to play runner-up to his brother ever again...

— Once you got past the hooking up with your ex’s brother thing, it was cute. Max was endearing in an earnest sort of way, even when Lina was STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER in a cliche sort of way. More solid kissing. Side note, why are so many rom com dudes named Max? Does it sound hip? Passably cool, but also approachable? Discuss. 

Not that Kind of Guy by Andie J. Christopher

State attorney Bridget Nolan is successful in all aspects of her life—except romance. After breaking up with her longtime boyfriend, she's been slow to reenter the dating scene. To be honest, she has more important things to do like putting bad guys behind bars. But with her brother's wedding right around the corner, she suddenly needs a date and fast. Lucky for Bridget, the legal intern is almost done with his program.

Matt Kido is dumbstruck by Bridget—total love at first sight—but there's one problem. She's totally off-limits while she's his boss. But the moment he no longer reports to her, Matt asks her on a date. An impulsive decision takes them to Las Vegas where, as the saying goes, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Unless you put a ring on it.

— Having written the “wake up in Vegas married” trope before, I know it’s difficult to do right. Consent’s a thing, y’know? And stuff gets dicy with forgotten memories, and all that, but mostly what kept me from truly loving this book was the intern thing. Don’t date your interns guys, it’s weird and off-putting. Literally if he’d just been a junior partner, or a visiting partner or something else I would have been all in.

Meet Cute by Helena Hunting

Kailyn Flowers was always calm, rational, and controlled—until she ended up sprawled all over Daxton Hughes, the former actor she totally crushed on as a teenager. Then she did the unthinkable: She became a mortifying fangirl in five seconds flat, which may or may not have included professing her undying love. And oddly, he didn't run away. In fact, their meet cute led to a friendship she never saw coming. Of course, she never saw his betrayal coming, either...Now Dax needs her help. As guardian to his thirteen-year-old sister, he's in way over his head. And though Kailyn hasn't forgiven Dax, she isn't heartless enough to make him fend for himself, either. Soon their friendly meetings turn into flirty dinner dates, and Kailyn can feel their chemistry is as explosive as ever. But how can she possibly let down her guard again to a guy who has heartbreak written all over him?

— Once again here for the one that got away trope, even if this comes with dead parents and some sad storylines. It still managed to be cute. Everyone was cute in it. Occasionally Daxton was a dick. As rom com male leads are apt to be.

If I Never Met You by Mhairi McFarlane

If faking love is this easy... how do you know when it's real?When her partner of over a decade suddenly ends things, Laurie is left reeling—not only because they work at the same law firm and she has to see him every day. Her once perfect life is in shambles and the thought of dating again in the age of Tinder is nothing short of horrifying. When news of her ex's pregnant girlfriend hits the office grapevine, taking the humiliation lying down is not an option. Then a chance encounter in a broken-down elevator with the office playboy opens up a new possibility.Jamie Carter doesn't believe in love, but he needs a respectable, steady girlfriend to impress their bosses. Laurie wants a hot new man to give the rumor mill something else to talk about. It's the perfect proposition: a fauxmance played out on social media, with strategically staged photographs and a specific end date in mind. With the plan hatched, Laurie and Jamie begin to flaunt their new couple status, to the astonishment—and jealousy—of their friends and colleagues. But there's a fine line between pretending to be in love and actually falling for your charming, handsome fake boyfriend...

— FAKE DATING THAT LEADS TO REAL FEELINGS. The ex-boyfriend was an assssss, the fake boyfriend was charming, everything was good AND THEN WE GOT TO THE END. Which felt more than a little rushed, unexpected and not really in line with the rest of the book?? Give ‘em a slightly better, in-character ending, and I would have been sold.

BOOKS THAT I WAS LIKE...EH, OK

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night.

But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway: a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them both, this is a game in which only one can be left standing. Despite the high stakes, Celia and Marco soon tumble headfirst into love, setting off a domino effect of dangerous consequences, and leaving the lives of everyone, from the performers to the patrons, hanging in the balance.

— I think this book was too smart for me. The prose was gorgeous, and the whole thing was very pretty and I definitely swooned when Marco said he wished for Celia. And yet. By the end I was like...eh, ok. Maybe it was the timeline? Jumping around, or how little dialogue there was. I wanted to like it all so badly, and I’m just not sure I did.

Acting on Impulse by Mia Sosa

After a very public breakup with a media-hungry politician, fitness trainer Tori Alvarez escapes to Aruba for rest, relaxation, and copious amounts of sex on the beach—the cocktail, that is. She vows to keep her vacation a man-free zone but when a cute guy is seated next to her on the plane, Tori can't resist a little harmless flirting.Hollywood heartthrob Carter Stone underwent a dramatic physical transformation for his latest role and it's clear his stunning seat mate doesn't recognize the man beneath the shaggy beard and extra lean frame. Now Carter needs help rebuilding his buff physique and Tori is perfect for the job. It doesn't hurt that she makes his pulse pound in more ways than one.Sparks are flying, until a pesky paparazzo reveals Carter's identity. Tori is hurt and pissed. She wants nothing to do with another man in the limelight, but she's still got to whip him into shape. Can Carter convince Tori he's worth the threat to her privacy that comes with dating a famous actor, or will Tori chisel him down to nothing before he even gets the chance?

— Dudes have gotta stop lying about who they are. It’s not a great trope. Other than that, the kissing was good. The romance was like...eh. I honestly don’t remember much else.

Twice in a Blue Moon by Christina Lauren

During a whirlwind two-week vacation abroad, Sam and Tate fell for each other in only the way that first loves do: sharing all of their hopes, dreams, and deepest secrets along the way. Sam was the first, and only, person that Tate—the long-lost daughter of one of the world's biggest film stars—ever revealed her identity to. So when it became clear her trust was misplaced, her world shattered for good.

Fourteen years later, Tate, now an up-and-coming actress, only thinks about her first love every once in a blue moon. When she steps onto the set of her first big break, he's the last person she expects to see. Yet here Sam is, the same charming, confident man she knew, but even more alluring than she remembered. Forced to confront the man who betrayed her, Tate must ask herself if it's possible to do the wrong thing for the right reason... and whether "once in a lifetime" can come around twice.

— This book was...weird. The early romance was wonderful and delightful, but then shit hit the fan and Sam and Tate are adults and...weird. Like, I cannot come up with another word for it. Also, they didn’t really talk much? As adults? Working on the same movie set? W e i r d.

I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella

Fixie Farr has always lived by her father’s motto: “Family first.” And since her dad passed away, leaving his charming housewares store in the hands of his wife and children, Fixie spends all her time picking up the slack from her siblings instead of striking out on her own. The way Fixie sees it, if she doesn’t take care of her father’s legacy, who will?

It’s simply not in Fixie’s nature to say no to people. So when a handsome stranger in a coffee shop asks her to watch his laptop for a moment, she not only agrees—she ends up saving it from certain disaster. To thank Fixie for her quick thinking, the computer’s owner, Sebastian, an investment manager, scribbles an IOU on a coffee sleeve and attaches his business card. Fixie laughs it off—she’d never actually claim an IOU from a stranger. Would she?

But then Fixie’s childhood crush, Ryan, comes back into her life, and his lack of a profession pushes all of Fixie’s buttons. As always, she wants nothing for herself—but she’d love Seb to give Ryan a job. No sooner has Seb agreed than the tables are turned once more and a new series of IOUs between Seb and Fixie—from small favors to life-changing moments—ensues. Soon Fixie, Ms. Fixit for everyone else, is torn between her family and the life she really wants. Does she have the courage to take a stand? Will she finally grab the life, and love, she really wants?

— Let’s be upfront, I’ve read a lot of Sophie Kinsella in my life, and more often than not I enjoy what she writes. I mostly did here. It was a book. With obvious rom com problems, that could have very easily been solved, but it wasn’t horrible. So, that was good, I guess.

The Wedding Party by Jasmine Guillory

Maddie and Theo have two things in common:

1. Alexa is their best friend

2. They hate each other

After an "oops, we made a mistake" night together, neither one can stop thinking about the other. With Alexa's wedding rapidly approaching, Maddie and Theo both share bridal party responsibilities that require more interaction with each other than they're comfortable with. Underneath the sharp barbs they toss at each other is a simmering attraction that won't fade. It builds until they find themselves sneaking off together to release some tension when Alexa isn't looking, agreeing they would end it once the wedding is over. When it's suddenly pushed up and they only have a few months left of secret rendezvouses, they find themselves regretting that the end is near. Two people this different can't possibly have a connection other than the purely physical, right?

But as with any engagement with a nemesis, there are unspoken rules that must be abided by. First and foremost, don't fall in love.

— Eh, this book happened. I still have no idea why they couldn’t be together from the get. Obstacles for the sake of plot, I guess. Also political side stories? I don’t know, guys.

WEIRD POST-ENDING FEELINGS WERE INDUCED

Beach Read by Emily Henry

Augustus Everett is an acclaimed author of literary fiction. January Andrews writes bestselling romance. When she pens a happily ever after, he kills off his entire cast.

They're polar opposites.

In fact, the only thing they have in common is that for the next three months, they're living in neighboring beach houses, broke, and bogged down with writer's block.

Until, one hazy evening, one thing leads to another and they strike a deal designed to force them out of their creative ruts: Augustus will spend the summer writing something happy, and January will pen the next Great American Novel. She'll take him on field trips worthy of any rom-com montage, and he'll take her to interview surviving members of a backwoods death cult (obviously). Everyone will finish a book and no one will fall in love. Really.

— Listen, I enjoyed this a lot. For the most part. It was funny, and introspective in a way that didn’t make me want to gag too much, and I wanted to defend January’s love of love with everything in me. But, then it—ended. And it was like...all tied up with this nice little ribbon and happily ever after, and I was like...oh, ok. Part of me that it was glad it ended like that, mostly because of who I am as a person, but the rest of me was also confused that after everything January and Augustus had been through and how messy their lives were it could just get all wrapped up in this HEA.

HITTING JUST A BIT TOO CLOSE TO HOME

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade

Marcus Caster-Rupp has a secret. The world may know him as Aeneas, star of the biggest show on television, but fanfiction readers call him something else: Book!AeneasWouldNever. Marcus gets out his frustrations with the show through anonymous stories about the internet's favorite couple, Aeneas and Lavinia. But if anyone discovered his online persona, he'd be finished in Hollywood.April Whittier has secrets of her own. A hardcore Lavinia fan, she's long hidden her fanfic and cosplay hobbies from her "real life"—but not anymore. When she dares to post her latest costume creation on Twitter, her plus-size take goes viral. And when Marcus asks her out to spite her internet critics, truth officially becomes stranger than fanfiction. On their date, Marcus quickly realizes he wants more from April than a one-time publicity stunt. But when he discovers she's Unapologetic Lavinia Stan, his closest fandom friend, he has one more huge secret to keep from her.With love and Marcus's career on the line, can the two of them stop hiding once and for all, or will a match made in fandom end up prematurely cancelled?

— Here for plus-size heroines who get the guy and don’t have their (entire) storyline defined by their looks. Less here for the weird fandom culture, the ensuing second-hand embarrassment that came from that and the thankfulness that both Colin O’Donoghue and Bob Morley appear to be happily married so it seems very unlikely they’re writing fic about their characters under pseudonyms. Stop using Ao3 in actual published stories 2k4ever.

RAGE-INDUCING BOOKS OF ABSOLUTE FURY

The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez

Kristen Peterson doesn't do drama, will fight to the death for her friends, and has no room in her life for guys who just don't get her. She's also keeping a big secret: facing a medically necessary procedure that will make it impossible for her to have children.Planning her best friend's wedding is bittersweet for Kristen — especially when she meets the best man, Josh Copeland. He's funny, sexy, never offended by her mile-wide streak of sarcasm, and always one chicken enchilada ahead of her hangry. Even her dog, Stuntman Mike, adores him. The only catch: Josh wants a big family someday. Kristen knows he'd be better off with someone else, but as their attraction grows, it's harder and harder to keep him at arm's length.The Friend Zone will have you laughing one moment and grabbing for tissues the next as it tackles the realities of infertility and loss with wit, heart, and a lot of sass.

— LISTEN THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE, BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THEM BECAUSE THIS BOOK IS A SECRET GUT PUNCH AND PEOPLE SHOULD BE AWARE. Not only is infertility, like, the defining theme of this book, but the BEST FRIEND DIES. Just—dies. It’s horrible. Absolutely God awful depressing. And for a second he looks like he won’t, and it’ll be fine, but then it is not and he’s just D E A D. I know, I know that sets up the sequel, but this was so goddamn heavy in an unsuspecting way that I have absolutely no intention of reading the next one.

Well Met by Jen DeLuca

Emily knew there would be strings attached when she relocated to the small town of Willow Creek, Maryland, for the summer to help her sister recover from an accident, but who could anticipate getting roped into volunteering for the local Renaissance Faire alongside her teenaged niece? Or that the irritating and inscrutable schoolteacher in charge of the volunteers would be so annoying that she finds it impossible to stop thinking about him?

The faire is Simon's family legacy and from the start he makes clear he doesn't have time for Emily's lighthearted approach to life, her oddball Shakespeare conspiracy theories, or her endless suggestions for new acts to shake things up. Yet on the faire grounds he becomes a different person, flirting freely with Emily when she's in her revealing wench's costume. But is this attraction real, or just part of the characters they're portraying?

This summer was only ever supposed to be a pit stop on the way to somewhere else for Emily, but soon she can't seem to shake the fantasy of establishing something more with Simon or a permanent home of her own in Willow Creek.

— FUCK THIS BOOK. And fuck Simon, specifically. Oh, you have a sad story? Cool, you’re still a dick. He was a dick. Listen, I know enemies to lovers is a hard trope to write, but it’s even harder to accept when those enemies just announce I LIKED YOU THE WHOLE TIME and then everyone starts ripping off their clothes. No, it’s dumb. I hate it. Apparently there’s a sequel to this book. Maybe that’s better.

Kiss My Cupcake by Helena Hunting

Blaire Calloway has planned every Instagram-worthy moment of her cupcake and cocktails shop launch down to the tiniest detail. What she didn't plan on? Ronan Knight and his old-school sports bar next door opening on the very same day. He may be super swoony, but Blaire hasn't spent years obsessing over buttercream and bourbon to have him ruin her chance at success.From axe throwing (his place) to frosting contests (hers), Blaire and Ronan are constantly trying to one-up each other in a battle to win new customers. But with every clash, there's also an undeniable chemistry. When an even bigger threat to their business comes to town, they're forced to call a temporary time-out on their own war and work together. And the more time Blaire spends getting to know the real Ronan, the more she wonders if it's possible to have her cupcake and eat it too.

— Listen, I wanted to like this one. There were plenty other Helena Hunting books on this list, so like—I don’t hate her. I just hate poorly executed enemies to lovers plot lines. Give me at least one moment where they are interested in each other aside from just being attracted to each other. Also: Stop Having Dudes Be Dicks Because Of Their Sad Backstory 2k4ever.

Don’t You Forget About Me by Mhairi McFarlane

You always remember your first love... don't you?If there's anything worse than being fired from the worst restaurant in town, it's coming home early to find your boyfriend in bed with someone else. Reeling from the humiliation of a double dumping in one day, Georgina takes the next job that comes her way—bartender in a newly opened pub. There's only one problem: it's run by the guy she fell in love with years ago. And—make that two problems—he doesn't remember her. At all. But she has fabulous friends and her signature hot pink fur coat... what more could a girl really need?Lucas McCarthy has not only grown into a broodingly handsome man, but he's also turned into an actual grown-up, with a thriving business and a dog along the way. Crossing paths with him again throws Georgina's rocky present into sharp relief—and brings a secret from her past bubbling to the surface. Only she knows what happened twelve years ago, and why she's allowed the memories to chase her ever since. But maybe it's not too late for the truth... or a second chance with the one that got away?

— HE WAS JUST PRETENDING NOT TO REMEMBER HER THE WHOLE TIME???? WHAT?? WHY??? D U M B. Dumb boys are dumb.

Not the Girl You Marry by Andie J. Christopher

Jack Nolan is a gentleman, a journalist, and unlucky in love. His viral success has pigeon-holed him as the how-to guy for a buzzy, internet media company instead of covering hard-hitting politics. Fed up with his fluffy articles and the app-based dating scene as well, he strikes a deal with his boss to write a final piece de resistance: How to Lose a Girl. Easier said than done when the girl he meets is Hannah Mayfield, and he's not sure he wants her to dump him.

Hannah is an extremely successful event planner who's focused on climbing the career ladder. Her firm is one of the most prestigious in the city, and she's determined to secure her next promotion. But Hannah has a bit of an image problem. She needs to show her boss that she has range, including planning dreaded, romantic weddings. Enter Jack. He's the perfect man to date for a couple weeks to prove to her boss that she's not scared of feelings.

Before Jack and Hannah know it, their fake relationship starts to feel all too real—and neither of them can stand to lose each other.

— This is actually the prequel to Not That Kind of Guy and I honestly can’t believe I read that after hating this book so much. They were awful to each other! Their whole relationship was based on lies! Mean lies! Horrible lies! Don’t lie to your significant other!

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Tokyo Love Story (Part 4) Izanagi and Izanami

This is information not really found in the game, so the story can get confusing for players. But the novels explain the lore pretty well. I hope you Enjoy!

@rurifangirl

In the Kabuki Theater, the translation screen above the stage showed the background information of the play. Kazama Ruri played the mother goddess Izanami of Japan - this new mythological play was about the divine marriage and subsequent rebellion between the father god Izanagi and the mother goddess Izanami.

Chance leaned over. “Have you ever heard of this myth?”

You shake your head, completely clueless.

“Since we’re here alone, no one can mind us whispering.” Chance leaned in close and started to speak, his voice a soft murmur in your ear.

“Cast your mind back, all the way to the ancient past. Before there were humans or any civilization, there were only two siblings.  Izanagi means ‘He who Invites’ and Izanami means ‘She who Invites’. These two deities were said to be the creators of Japan and the other gods.”

He wraps one arm around you. “So… while in Takamagahara -- what you might know as The Heavens at the time -- they were assigned to create land out of the chaos of earth, and to create other gods to rule the newly made lands. There was a series of rituals they had to perform to make this happen. For example, while on the Ame-no-Ukihashi, which means ‘the floating bridge of heaven’, they were to churn the sea with a special spear, and with the water that dropped from the tip of the spear, they created the islands of Japan.”

“To create more gods… well…” He tipped his head and leaned in closer. “It’s the same way humans make babies. You know when two creator gods love each other very much…”

You laugh and lean away. “I was wondering when you’d start flirting.”

Chance feigns innocence. “What?! I’m telling you the truth. That’s the story. Anyway, things are going well, they have land and kids. They’re a happy family. But then something terrible happens. Izanami gives birth to the fire god, Kagutsuchi. Izanami suffered horrible burns, fell ill and gradually died. So Izanagi buried Izanami on Mount Hiba and her spirit descended down to Yomi-no-Kuni, which is the underworld, where all spirits, good or evil, go.”

And this is where Ruri Kazama, as Izanami, is now, his face white as a ghost. His ornamental long Kimono filled the stage floor, but rather being a thing of beauty, the magnificent clothing depicted maggots and skeletons. It was as if he were wearing all of Hell on his back.

As the play progressed, Chance continued. “Now we will see the parts of Izanagi. You see how the actor is walking around as if looking for something?” 

The actor for Izanagi is dressed in beautiful gold and jewels. The stage is dark save for the spotlight he’s in. Then a sharp tap of a drum! Another spotlight turns on. And you see Ruri Kazama as Izanami standing with her back turned to him.

“The Fire God Kagutsuchi was killed by Izanagi, who was truly devastated at the loss of his wife. He decided that he could not part with Izanami, and now, he’s journeyed into the underworld, Yomi-no-Kuni. Now he’s at the gates of Yomi.”

Ruri Kazama begins to sing, a fluttering soft and mournful tune. His voice is like a sweet trembling flute in your ears. Even though you don’t know the words, you can tell that she really loves Izanagi. Izanagi responds boisterously and boldly to that sweet tender voice.

“Now, Izanami is shrouded in darkness and Izanagi cannot see her clearly. He’s trying to get her to come back with him, but she’s telling him that she’s already eaten food in the underworld and now cannot leave it, but she will plead to the Lord of Yomi to be released. But… and this is important. Izanagi has to wait and not look at her at all.”

The scene changed to a more domestic setting of a house. But the whole stage is dark. Izanagi can barely see anything and neither can the audience. There’s even a humorous moment where something runs across Izanagi’s foot and he wails in terror, knocking over a cup! 

Then everything is silent for about three seconds.

On the stage, someone lights a match. You gasp and nearly leap out of your chair. “No!” You squeak. “Izanagi, what are you doing?!”

The lights of the stage suddenly turn on. The stage was full of actors and Izanami was right there on stage. Ruri Kazama throws back his head and wails a single piercing note! The other actors, dressed like skeletons and maggots, point at Izanagi accusingly and sing low and harsh tones at him. 

“Izanami is rotting, covered in maggots and surrounded by death.”

The Izanagi on stage cowers away from his wife and stumbles away from her while she reaches for him with one ghastly white bony arm.

“She’s yelling at him for what he’s done as he’s running away from her. And she’s sending the denizens of the underworld to chase after him. They’re gaining on him, so now he’s using his powers to escape and slow them down. Now he’s reached the exit and he’s barricading it with boulders to seal it. Now watch.”

Ruri Kazama as Izanami stands on the other side of the boulders, still wailing with anger and betrayal at her husband. Izanagi, still boisterous, gestures wildly and thrusts his hips vulgarly at her.  “She’s saying, for leaving me here, I will kill 1,000 people every day. And he’s saying, ``Well, I’ll make 1,500 people every day!”

“He’s a jerk!” You hiss. “Poor Izanami…”

Chance chuckles. “You’re really cute. This is a common myth in Japan, but it’s nice to see someone react to it the first time.”

“So are they divorced now?” You look up at him, smirking.

“Yeah pretty much.” He covers his face.

Warm golden lights enveloped the stage, symbolizing the switch from the dark land of Yomi-no-Kuni to the human world, and Izanagi, wearing a golden robe, appeared on stage. Wearing a carved wooden mask, he walked out in a perfect circle on the dance floor while chanting a poem in praise of his three children. “These three children, named Amaterasu, Tsukuyomi, and Susanoo, were born alone after his return from the Yomi-no-Kuni, and they had nothing to do with Izanami.”

“Izanagi ordered them to help him guard the world. Amaterasu was ordered to rule the Land of Gods, Takamagahara, while Tsukuyomi managed the Land of Night, and the ocean was given to Susanoo to manage. Izanagi gave Amaterasu the Yata no Kagami mirror, a symbol of the sun, and Tsukuyomi the Yasakani no Magatama, a jewel symbol of the moon, and then gave his sharpest sword, the Ame-no-Ohabari, to his youngest son, Susanoo.”

While this happy familial scene was going on on one half of the stage, the abandoned Izanami sang mournfully in the background, alone in the underworld with nothing but ghostly women to comfort her. While Izanagi danced joyfully with the children in the foreground, Izanami cried and sang behind a black muslin curtain, the plain white human form repeatedly folded, seeing how sharp the pain of that abandonment was. 

You feel yourself tearing up. You can sympathize, only your situation is in reverse, the people you loved were in the underworld and you were the only one living. “Poor Izanami.” You turn to Chance and gasp. “Are you… crying?”

Chance wiped at his green eyes for a moment. “Yeah… I always cry at this part. Don’t mind it.” He points back to the stage. “Ah… his performances are really moving. It’s okay to cry.”

Unconsciously, you’ve been pinching yourself to keep your tears from falling. He pats your hands to get you to stop doing it.

“I’m not allowed to cry since I was little. Caesar says I only cry in my sleep.”

He tilts his head. “Who’s Caesar?”

“Aaah… oh um… It’s uh…” You were supposed to say BasaraKing! BasaraKing! How could you forget?

“Huuuh? You mean our little Main Character isn’t as innocent as she seems?” At your stricken expression he laughs. “I know who he is, I’m just messing with you. It’s rare for you to slip up though. That’s Kazama’s magic.”

He points back to the stage. “Now the story continues. The black curtain symbolizes the exit of Yomi-no-Kuni, which has been cut off forever, and Izanami who has fallen into the underworld forever, sings and dances to remember the divine marriage.”

“This scene is a memory of when Izanagi and Izanami first met.”

 There was a quick costume change and Ruri Kazama is now dressed as a goddess with a splendid crown on her - uh… his - head. He is walking to meet the beautifully crowned Izanagi. 

“They’re brother and sister, so they had to ask the gods to marry and have children. They said they would need to walk around the jade pillar and forget their identities and their life as siblings and meet each other on the road as just two beautiful strangers.”

The music swelled as the two actors passed each other on stage, Izanami gazing across the fan with flirtatious eyes at Izanagi and Izanagi pausing in his tracks to turn around and look at her back.

The lights on the stage dimmed at the warm scene and the curtain fell and lights went up for intermission. But no one moved. There was the clear sound of sniffling women and soft whispers. “I’m sad it ended so badly for them. Izanagi… what a stupid jerk.” You say.

“What do you think he should have done?” Chance asked.

“Well first of all, he shouldn’t have lit the match in the first place! But… if it had to happen, then… he should have stayed in the underworld with her. If he really loved her, he would have stayed.”

Chance nodded but then changed the subject. “So… why is this a new retelling of the old Mythology? It’s because this story actually starts to tell the history of the dragons and the Japanese Hybrids in the next half. You remember the kids?”

“Yeah I remember.”

“Those are the main characters in the second half. Now watch. I’ll try to explain.”

You smiled up at him. “I will listen carefully! There will be a test later!”

“Susanoo and Amaterasu don’t really get along, so he was banished from the Takamagahara and grew up to be a traveling hero, saving people from all sorts of troubles and monsters. One day, he came across a family who was being terrorized by a vicious 8-headed beast named Yamata-no-Orochi. This monster was so huge and heavy that it was like a mountain and barely moved itself. But it ate one daughter out of this family every year. They were down to their last daughter. The family begged Susanoo to slay the dragon and save their last daughter and offered her as a wife for him if he did so.”

Susanoo is dressed in beautiful armor with a magnificent sword. He dances and sings boisterously like his father.

“Susanoo turns the last daughter into a comb for temporary safe keeping and sets up a trap for the serpent using 8 barrels of sake. The snake gets drunk on the sake and falls asleep. Susanoo kills it. But in reality that’s not really what happened.”

This time, Ruri Kazama played the role of Yamata-no-Orochi. He had a scaly robe over his plain clothes. Chance leans in close to you. “Notice how he’s dancing. It’s the exact same as when he was playing Izanami!”

There was a lot of talk about what was going on onstage, which is a rarity among the Japanese audience, who have always been very particular about etiquette. The second half of the show was so bizarre that they couldn’t help it. The battle of the snake slaying was supposed to be a fierce encounter, but the audience was treated to a dance between a woman and a boy. 

Susanoo's sword repeatedly slashed at Ruri Kazama, bright red dye running along the scales. Eventually, Ruri Kazama collapsed in the center of the stage, and Susanoo knelt beside him with his sword raised high, pausing for a second, before stabbing him through the heart. The stage spews out cold fireworks on all sides, and in the midst of the flames, Susanoo rips off Ruri's outer robe, revealing a bloodied woman who lies still in the center of the stage in the light, like a fallen maple leaf.

You gasp and point. “That’s Izanami! She was inside the snake!”

Ruri Kazama begins to sing another mournful tune, once again playing Izanami.

"Tired and weary, the ghostly bones face the king.

 The way back home has been lost, looking back is pointless.

I look at the lonely city.

I still remember the good old days, and I hate the waters of the east.''

You look at Chance in a bit of confusion. “I… understand that Izanami is in the snake. How did she get out of the underworld?” 

“That is the great secret of the White King descendents. Izanami is the White King. She rebelled against the Dark King and it’s common knowledge that she was sent to the underworld, killed by him forever. But what people don’t know… is that Izanagi is a real man who went down to get her.”

His green eyes smiled at you. “Izanami offered him freedom and eternal life, if he took her blood and bones. Because by her blood and bones, she can be reborn and escape her fate. He believed her and took it from the Underworld, but he was so afraid of these artifacts, that he hid them in a well and sealed it. This was like betrayal. He was supposed to revive her but in the end, he left her behind.”

“When Izanagi got old and was close to death, he remembered their promise and returned to the well, in hopes of reviving the Light King and receiving her ability to live forever… but instead… he transformed into Yamata-no-Orochi and carried the White King inside his own body.”

“The White King had no intention of sharing her powers with Izanagi, she just appealed to his greed. In the end, Izanagi, now a monster, was killed by his son Susanoo. But the blood and bones got to him too. He started to turn into a new Yamata-no-Orochi. This time, Amaterasu and Tsukiyomi didn’t kill the snake but buried it and chained it down in the city of Takamagahara and buried the entire city in the bottom of a deep trench. So no one can ever retrieve the White King’s poisonous gift from the Body of Yamata-no-Orochi.”

A buried city at the bottom of the sea. You’d seen it and a whole bunch of monsters that came with it!

The original Yamata-no-Orochi is the incarnation of Izanami. Years later she returned to the world with a snake body, to get revenge for her husband’s abandoning her, but Susanoo ended her road to revenge. The so-called "New Retelling of the Old Tale” is actually the original retelling. It was true dragon history!

 The Dragon History is a deserted wife's revenge on her husband and the whole world he created. Although the revenge itself is evil, thinking about the pain she had suffered gave her a merciless heart. Ruri Kazama's costume is too beautiful and her song is too sorrowful, and a cloud of sorrow pervades the Kabuki theater, taking the audience between myth and reality in an instant.

 An excited Kabuki critic came on stage and embraced Ruri Kazama, exclaiming hoarsely that this was the most perfect Kabuki performance he had ever seen, and the audience burst into tears, with low sobs echoing through the audience like a tidal wave.

Chance suddenly stood up and took your hand. “We have to go. I have more to tell you but we can’t stay here. Come with me.”

“Where are we going? I want to go see BasaraKing and Ukyou.”

“We all have to go.” He pulled you into the dark hall and looked at you seriously. “Agents of Hydra will be here soon.”

[botwstoriesandsuch]

So I know very little abt loz lore but what if Goron’s carve their children out of stone? Like they put in the energy and time to really build them (kinda like in Greek mythology humans were formed from clay) and maybe there’s a special ritual to imbue life! And because it’s done by one sole person they kind of give a piece of themselves to the child in a way (maybe even break off a piece of their own rock to form the heart?) and THATS how Daruk passes his power on to Yunobo

I love this idea! (especially the nonbinary part because let’s face it, Daruk’s gender is just a really good meal) Considering the relationships between Gorons are so weird, like...we know the can have actual brothers and grandsons, but they also call everyone brother...it’s weird. 

I like the idea that they use their own rocks for rituals, although rather than the heart, I like the interpretation that it’s actual this part of their outer shell. You could see that the backs of the Goron children are roughly the same size as one rock from an older Goron.

There has to be a further reason why the Gorons stick around on Death Mountain, and since the Eldin region is home to interesting places (including a cavern that forms rock meat) if only there was some region in the Eldin that could me interpreted to have some sort of sacred and/or religious value based on the construction surrounding it also perhaps is shown to not be that actively used considering most of the Goron kids are the same age so that means no one is having any brothers lately gee I wonder if such a place that also has thematic relevance exists OH WAIT

Babam! May I present the summit of Death Mountain. Has no real use other than being Rudania’s penthouse, along with the occasional ritual sacrifice of a cucco if you’re bored. Complete with a fancy, bridge (etched with the Champion Daruk, perhaps relating to a cycle of life, considering he’s kinda dead?) and a winding, impractical road that could give the ascent up Mount Olympus a run for its money. But perhaps the purpose of the road isn’t just for travels sake, but the sentiment of travelling so far to gain a loved one? Hmmmmm

Also, timeline wise there are no new babies in Goron City by the time Link strolls around. Why?

“Because Nintendo didn’t want to create that many character models?”

nO PFTT. Obviously not, obviously it’s because the Gorons couldn’t do their ritual to have a Goron kid even if they wanted to, because Vah Rudania was shaking things up. 

So basically, Goron families work like

Travel up Mount Olympus Death Mountain through and arduous trek 

“This family dynamic empty...YEET” *Goron rock splashes into the lava*

Wait for your new family member to finish cooking in the oven (perhaps you needed to preheat it wait for a certain sacred time in the year before hand?)

Now you have a son, who you can also call your brother because they’re basically you, since you used your own rock thing to make them, so maybe brother and son and interchangeable terms in the Goron world and also it’s probably like anon said where it doesn’t really have a gendered connotation to them but hey it’s not like you care because you’re a Goron and the only terms you care about are smashing heads and rock roasting

But THAT’s just a theory. A half-baked theory through the help of anon. Catchy, I know.

[rosie-kairi]

*Points* Haha, That’s me!!!

an empty desert needs its gods, but yknow sometimes people just don’t know that

[thatmultifandomhoe]

A Lifetime under Moonlit Nights

Word Count: 5,289

Overview: It was a love story that began when Gods roamed the Earth, and lasted over the course of several centuries, always under the beauty of the moonlit sky. But when one life is cut too short, you realize how tiresome it is to constantly be reborn.

Pairing: Seokjin and Reader

Genre AU/Rating: God AU - Fluff - Angst - Past Lives - Reincarnation - Rated: PG-13

Warning: Character Death - Greek Mythology - brief mention/appearance of Jungkook and Seonghwa.

Master List:

Pinterest Mood Board:

A/N: Part of the Bulletproof Bingo Event hosted by @ficswithluv​

©thatmultifandomhoe 2020. Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

The sun had long since fallen for its slumber, allowing the moon to grace the world with its silver beauty. Millions of stars were intricately stitched into the sky overhead, and the dew from the grass leaving small wet patches on Seokjin’s clothes, but he didn’t mind.

It was in the early hours of the new day that he waited for you. The meeting spot was far from the world he called his home, but he went out to the country side where the grass reached his knees and the purple wisteria tree you loved so dearly created a veil between the two worlds.

Every night when he came to this spot, you were already there waiting from him, hidden within the branches and their petals, that ever-patient smile painted on your lips. Only on rare occasions did he find himself arriving first.

On those nights, he’d usually hide behind the tree until you arrived, cheeks flushed red and chest heaving, worried that you’d been too late. It was then that you’d sigh, allowing yourself to catch your breath as you sat on the ground, fingers running along the blades of grass as if they were a dear friend. He’d then wait, a gentle smile always present as he listened to your soft mutterings for a few moments before suddenly appearing.

Sometimes there would be the clanking of glasses, an occasional treat hidden within the picnic basket you’d bring along. Then the kisses would be rich with sangria stained lips, but Jin would always say that he’d get drunk off you and not the wine. You’d laugh, possibly even call him corny, and the stars would shine brighter in the midnight sky.

Tonight however, he laid on the grass in front of the trunk of the wisteria, recalling the day it had been planted. That had been a different time and way of life. Easily over a hundred years and was yet just as beautiful as the day it grew, unknowingly from his magic.

Magic that sadly, many have forgotten.

These were now the days of lore and myths, stories told to wide eyes souls and used for lessons to navigate life, but everyone seemed to forget that perhaps, once upon a time, were the very fabric of everyday life. Gods and Goddesses once roamed the Earth before retiring to their new homes in the heavens. Only a handful remained and lived in modern society.

As God of the moon, Seokjin slept his mornings away and spent his nights making sure that the moon stayed in the sky until dawn. Whether or not he was in a good mood or not, was reflected in how dull or bright the stars appeared.

Most of the time, the stars were easily seen. When he was with you underneath the wisteria tree, they gleamed liked freshly polished diamonds. For living as long as he had, it was hard to be affected by the on goings on mortals and he had all but managed to turn a blind eye to their antics. Sometimes on his travels, he’d spy someone walking alone or a couple out on a late night adventure and he’d be reminded of you, and partially amused, he’d bless the rest of their night or offer them protection with the moonlight, ensuring a safe journey to wherever they wandered.

You were the only human that he cared deeply about, and when you were sick or hurt, the stars would dull, and remain so until you were yourself again. Jin was a God and yet, the very thing he was in charge of, was really controlled by you. He was wrapped around your precious fingers, wanting nothing more than to please and treasure you.

“Jin?”

Tilting his head, his lips curled into a smile when seeing you standing in front of him, the wisteria petals parting like a curtain for you. The scarf you wore to cover your head was silver, glowing every so faintly that one might mistake it for a reflection of the moonlight up above. For a brief second, the light surrounding it grew brighter in his presence before disappearing.

“What are you doing here so early?” you softly asked, letting the branches slide from your palm as you joined him.

Jin raised an eyebrow as he stood, slipping his hands into yours as he gave a gentle kiss to your cheek. “Is there another who you meet here?” He teased.

“Ah, but you’d know if I was meeting someone else,” you shot back, unfolding the blanket on to the ground by the tree.

“That is true, the moon sees all.”

His smile softened as you laughed, the sound reminding him of the music that Jungkook played to soothe the other Gods when things didn’t go their way. But yours was better.

You carefully lowered yourself to the ground with his help, sighing when you leaned backwards against the trunk. For a brief moment, his smile faded at the sight of your face scrunching up, knowing that it wasn’t because you had sat on an awkwardly placed root.

“Darling,” Jin said, settling next to you on the blanket. “I can come to you so you don’t have to walk this far out.”

But you shook your head, choosing to lean against his chest as he curled his arm around your waist. “I’m fine. I swear, these trips are the only time I get to leave the house these days.”

He knew that. Which was why he had asked Jungkook to check on you when he made his journeys with the sun. Some days were better than others, but according to him, you spent the days sleeping more often than not. It worried Jin greatly, and even his brothers were showing their concern. With the modern age and new medicine, mortals had begun to live longer than before.

However, this mortal body was already failing, and you were barely halfway to your thirty years.

Inhaling the sweet scent of the wisteria, he laced his fingers with yours, trying to ignore how they had a shake to them that didn’t used to be there.

“Please,” he whispered, kissing your cheek once, twice. “I’d hate for you to get hurt on your way.”

“Jin—”

“If you won’t let me take you to see Jungkook, then at least let me visit you at home.”

You pressed your lips together in silence, choosing to focus on the flowers instead of meeting his gaze. This wasn’t the first time the two of you had this discussion. Ever since that fateful day two years ago, all he wanted to do was make things comfortable for you, but that wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted life to go on as normal. Like you always have.

But how could he do that when the life you were supposed to live was only a small fraction of what it should be?

“Do you remember the first time we met?” You suddenly asked.

He frowned at the change of conversation, slightly frustrated that once again, you were choosing to ignore your safety. Despite his worries, he leaned his head against the tree, able to recall the memory with ease.

“I had been a so young,” he simply said.

A warm breeze drifted into the area, the purple branches swaying as both of you recalled a simpler time.

“And so handsome,” you teased, squeezing his hand.

The indignant sound that left his mouth would have sent his brothers laughing from their homes in the heavens, but it had you giggling. “I am still handsome,” he argued. “In fact, I’m even more handsome now. I’ve aged like fine wine over the centuries.”

Rolling your eyes, you settled your free hand on his leg. There was a twinkle in your gaze that was strong tonight, glowing brightly as you stared at the grass in front of you like it held all the secrets in the world.

“Still so full of yourself,” you joked, relaxing once again upon feeling his other hand settle on top of yours. “And that was how I knew you were a God. So cocky.”

If any other mortal had said that – and it was a couple centuries earlier - they would have been cursed without a second thought. Coming from you, Jin simply chuckled. “Usually you’re praising me for that darling,” he murmured, kissing your temple as you elbowed him.

Blush tinted your cheeks but you ignored his comment. “If you told me back at our first meeting that I’d be spending the rest of eternity being reincarnated, a new body, a new life, to be with you – a God nonetheless – forever…I wouldn’t have believed you.”

Your voice had softened, piquing his interest as he recalled that fateful day himself. He hadn’t expected anyone else to be in the clearing, especially in the middle of the night, but there you were, standing alone and hugging yourself as you stared up at the stars. The plain dress hadn’t done anything to emphasize your figure, but the fire in your eyes was alive, daring him to do the wrong thing.

One gaze was all it took for him to be interested, and with your smart remarks, he couldn’t help but be drawn to you. Every night he went back to that spot hoping to see you again. Sometimes you weren’t there, but more often than not, you waiting for him with a witty remark.

“Do you remember our first kiss?” He asked, resting his head against yours.

Closing your eyes, you hummed in agreement.

Back then you thought it was impossible for the two of you to be together. He was a God, destined to live forever while your existence was numbered by the Fates.

The idea had been silly, but you had been concerned with what would happen after you passed away. A young woman who was in love with Jin, you knew that unless you became pregnant with his child, your legacy was going to die with you since you refused to love another. You wanted something to live and prosper long after you had left this world.

The sapling had caught your attention one day at the market, the idea that it would have bloom purple and grow into a massive tree was what you sold you as you handed over the coins to the seller, eagerly carrying it back to your home where you waited until the stars came out to plant it. You had been digging the hole when Jin arrived, curious as to what you were doing.

“This is my legacy,” you told him, stopping to wipe your brow.

He frowned while smiling, amused that you were concerned with such a simple thing. “A tree?”

“Yes, a tree. But it’ll grew tall, and beautiful, outshining everything in this clearing forever.”

Not wanting to waste time, you continued to dig, only needing to go a little further until it’d be deep enough.

The air was warm that summer, and as you dug, he took the chance to admire you. You weren’t like the Goddesses he knew, who demanded to be pampered and chased after by multiple partners, vying for everyone’s attention but never satisfied when someone specific wasn’t looking their way. Dirt didn’t scare you, and because you lived in a small home by yourself, you did the work that men usually did, thus making your hands rougher and leaving aches in your body from the day’s work.

“Won’t your legacy live on with your children?” He forced himself to ask, his chest aching at the mere thought of you being with another.

Hesitating, you barely glanced at Jin. “I…I don’t plan on getting married,” you said instead.

Deciding that the hole was big enough, you tossed the shovel to the side and got on your knees to remove the cloth wrapping from the base of the tree.

This was news to Jin however. He had always thought that you’d one day marry someone who was your equal. “Why not?”

“I won’t marry someone who I don’t love.” With delicate touches, you carefully undid the twine that held the wrapping together, setting it to the side for later use.

“Do you love someone?”

“Yes…but it’s not possible for us to be together.”

You hadn’t planned to say that, but the words spilled out of your mouth before you were able to stop them. It was too late now.

The wrapping was finally removed, but you didn’t hurry to plant it into the ground. Instead, you kept it in your lap, the dirt staining the cloth of your dress. There was a longing within to tell him the truth, wanting to say that you loved him so much that it hurt when he hugged you goodbye, or how during the day while doing the simplest of tasks, your mind wandered to what it would be like to kiss his plush lips, even delving into fantasies of sharing a bed with him. Of being by his side as more than a friend.

With every daydream, your heart swelled with love only to get beaten when you remembered what you both were. There just was no possible way it could work out.

Your vision blurred and stung as you sniffed, reaching up with the back of your hand to wipe away the tears, but a hand stopped you from doing so. Lifting your head, you saw Jin on his knees in front of you, the sapling in one hand while he caressed your cheek with the other. He quietly wiped away the tears, took your hand, and placed the sapling into the hole. Together, the two of you pushed the dirt back over it, gently patting the mound it made once it was securely planted.

“You know,” Jin softly spoke, lacing his fingers together with yours. “Anything is possible, if you’re willing to take a chance.”

He was closer than you originally thought, your gaze darting down to his lips before looking into his eyes. They were as dark as the night, timeless even. A soft breeze rustled his black hair, his bangs covering his forehead and without realizing it, you were reaching up to brush them out of the way.

As if under a spell, you leaned forward when he did, his lips gently touching yours in a sweet kiss. And then another, and another. He released your hand to cup your face, allowing him to add pressure to the kisses, drawing them out to make each one last.

It was the moment the two of you had been holding yourselves back from, and now that it happened, there was no going back. Jin hadn’t even realized that he was crying himself until your fingers gently touched his face, forcing him to pull back at the wetness on his face. Seeing that you were in a similar state, he brought you into his arms, being mindful of the newly planted tree.

Caught up in your emotions, neither of you saw the silver moonlight outlining each branch and leaf of the sapling, the tears of two lovers mixing together and sinking into the tree itself, going all the way down to the roots to help anchor it to the clearing. Forever.

“I miss those days,” you murmured, resurfacing from the memory.

Jin simply kissed the side of your head, trying to ignore the tightening in his stomach. “They were simpler times.”

You tilted your head back against his shoulder, gazing up the wisteria tree. It had grown so beautifully since the day you planted it, and while no one else remembered who had been the one to do it, the legacy you had so desired back then was fulfilled.

“Jin, are there any wisteria trees where you live?”

He froze, the tightening of emotions traveling to his heart as he recognized the longing in your voice. It was the same one he had heard all those years ago when you brought up being with him always, but wanting a mortal life at the same time. Reincarnation had been the answer to solve both problems.

“Yes,” he answered, licking his lips as his arms tightened just the slightest around your frail body. “This exact one in fact is in my garden. Why do you ask Darling?”

“I’m tired,” you said.

There was no easy way to say it, but it was true. For the first time in all your reincarnations, the body you were given for this life was not going to die of old age like the others had. You were sick. The treatments and medicines made you worse and you ached everywhere. When you weren’t at the hospital you were stuck in your bedroom, your parents always there to help you move about and get you things, hovering by the doorway in-case you needed something else. It was overwhelming and tiring. The only time you felt like yourself was when you managed to sneak out while they slept, taking these stolen hours with Jin to relax and be yourself.

Now that you tired out more easily, you took naps often and each time you closed your eyes, a memory from before replayed itself out. Whether it was from your very first life, or your fortieth, to all the weddings you and Jin had, you got to relive them all. There were just so many. It was truly a gift to be able to live so many lives and remember them, but it wasn’t until now – diagnosed and dying from cancer – that you realized how simpler it all would have been, had you only joined Jin’s side in heaven the first time.

Yes, the two of you had been so young, so in love, but you had also been so wrapped up in finding a solution – him wanting you to be with him forever, and you not wanting to have more than a mortal life – that you had been blind to the consequences.

Until you were able to truly understand your memories and locate the wisteria tree, Jin spent years alone, waiting for you appear once again. The reunions and the years together were always worth it, but he also saw you grow older, watched as strands of hair turned white and grey, and the wrinkles became more defined. He stayed by your side through it all, the good and bad, and he was always the one to suffer when the day came where you wouldn’t open your eyes.

The weight of living so many lives wasn’t a light burden either.

“Darling, I can bring you home –”

You shook your head though, carefully reaching up to remove the scarf that Jin had given you the night after you shaved your hair off. It had been thinning and falling out in clumps, and this way, it was easier to manage. “No Jin, we both know that’s not what I mean.”

He pressed his lips together, feeling his eyes sting at the possibility of what you were implying. “What do you want to do then?”

Heart racing, you turned to face him, unable to keep your own tears at bay upon seeing his face. Jin, your lover, husband, hadn’t age at all since the day you met. He was exactly the same, while you felt like a stranger with the memories of a million different versions of yourself.

“I don’t want to be reborn after this,” you said. “I want to go home, with you to the stars. As grateful as I am for all these lives I’ve lived, it’s exhausting and not worth having, when we could have had one life together this entire time.”

For a split second, Jin was prepared to argue your request, to give multiple reasons for why you shouldn’t let this go, and then the fight was all gone. Gods were always giving. Whether they were gifts, blessings, curses, punishments, they gave and gave, but rarely did they take it back. You were the love of his immortal life. He didn’t want to lose you, and the idea of you not being reborn again was terrifying.

“I can’t take you straight to heaven with me,” he softly explained. “Your soul will go to the Underworld where it’ll be judged. Only then can I try and plead our case, but it won’t be up to me.”

“I know Seokjin,” you said, using his full name for the first time in so long. “Just because I’ve had more than my fair share, doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten our ways.”

He didn’t stop the chuckle that escaped. Only you would reprimand a God. Cupping the side of your face, his smile reappeared when you leaned into his touch, sighing as he ran his thumb across the skin. There had been so many rebirths that he had lost count of which life you were on, and while your physical features were not always the same, the littlest things from your first life were still there. Like the small scar on your chin from when you had been sharpening an arrow. Or the slight curve in the middle of your nose, a result from when he suggested taking a swim in a lake after midnight. How was he supposed to know that you’d slip and land on a rock?

Jin leaned in and kissed your chapped lips, the scarf slipping from your hands as it landed on the blanket underneath you.

“This will be your last mortal life,” he firmly said, pulling back to see the relief in your eyes. The power of his words rippling in the air, the stars dulling as his heart ached. How long have you wanted this but not said a word to him? “After this, your soul will go to the Underworld to be judged by Seonghwa, just like everyone else.”

You gently smiled at him as you watched Jin take the scarf you always wore and loosely tie it around your neck. His fingers brushed against your skin but he remained quiet, the moon light dimming when he felt how cold you were.

“Thank you,” you said.

He shook his head, bringing you to his chest and hugging you. Whether or not releasing you of being reborn hurried up what time frame you had left, he wanted to enjoy this moment. The last thing he wanted to think about was the fateful day to come. All he wanted was to pretend that he wasn’t a God, because instead of healing you like any other would have done, he had taken away the one thing that guaranteed you a future.

All because you asked, and he loved you too much to say no.

Jin held your hand to his lips, refusing to look anywhere else but at you.

It was the moment that he had been dreading, the one you had been looking forward to.

Jungkook had woken Jin up in the middle of the day – something that no one would ever do – and it was only when he mentioned your name that Jin listened to what the sun God had to say. Apparently, your illness had taken a turn for the worse, and the doctors now had morphine in your IV drip.

“It’ll make her comfortable,” Jungkook explained, having followed after Jin to the hospital room that you were staying in.

It had been a few days since then, and Jin had taken to staying by your side as long as he could. The only time he left your side was when he was needed to make the moon rise and descend, but even then, it was a half-hearted effort. Like always when your time came to an end, his emotions bested him, dulling the stars to smudged glass and cloudy nights.

Normally, he’d be able to find hope within his heart at the prospect of you returning to him in your next life, sometimes even making a game out of it to see where you might come from, what language you’d speak, how’d you look, but it was all different now.

Lowering his gaze, he kissed the back of your hand, a small smile appearing at the sight of the silver wedding band on your ring finger. While the two of you hadn’t been able to get married in this life, it had been his one request that you eagerly said yes too, sighing when he had slipped it on for you. He always wore his, having refused to take it off after the first wedding because in his eyes, no matter how many lives you lived or centuries passed by, you had never stopped being his wife.

He had thought that he’d get used to seeing you grow ill and passing away by now, but it never got any easier. Usually it was when you reached your older years, so it was jarring to see you so young but so ill and fragile. The sight of you in pain made him collapse to his knees, begging you to take back your last wish so that you’d be reborn again. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end.

But you had simply shook your head, even daring a slight smile as you offered your hand for him to take.

The heart rate monitor was slow, consistently beeping in the otherwise silent room. Both your parents had gone for the today, having been convinced by the nurse that they needed to go home and get some sleep even if it was just for a few hours.

Even without Jungkook’s expertise in the area, Jin knew that by the long paces in-between each beat, your heart was slowing down. This was not a battle you were going to fight this time. Although, with a fond smile, he recalled how well you once fought with a sword when you had to defend your home from thieves back in Greece.

Or that time when in Paris, some fool thought that he could run off with your purse when the two of you had been walking along Le Mur des Je t’aimes in Montmartre in Paris at dusk. Not only had you made the French raise an eyebrow at your choice words – spoken perfectly might he add – but you had even made the police nod in approval.

“Oh darling,” Jin whispered, kissing your hand again as his eyes watered up. “You have lived so many beautiful lives. I just wish I had been there more than I was.”

Tears dripped down his cheeks as he bowed his head, sending a silent prayer that your soul would reach the Underworld without any trouble, and another to Seonghwa personally, pleading for him to take care of you until he decided your fate.

When he lifted his head, your hand slumped in his while the glimmer of silver light that had been surrounding your body disappeared. Gently, he placed your hand back on the bed, the nurses rushing in when a single long beep echoed from the heart monitor.

But Jin was gone by then.

It had been weeks since the funeral. Not a word had been heard from Seonghwa about his decision, there hadn’t even been a heads up to let Jin know if your soul arrived to the Underworld or not.

As a result, the night sky had been cloudy. With the exception of when he visited your grace and he made the moon and stars glow brightly just for you, the nights had been dark and dreary, just like how he felt. The other Gods were used to him being emotional after your deaths, but this hit harder for Jin, and the longer he went without knowing where you soul ended up, he was starting to think that he’d never see you again.

He had centuries of memories with you, and as wonderful as they all were, there was nothing better than being able to hold and kiss you all over again.

He hadn’t been back to Earth since then. There was no point, you had been the main reason for all his visits. He had debated on going down to visit your wisteria tree. It was your meeting spot, a sacred place the two of you shared, but it wouldn’t be the same if he were to arrive and not see you there with a smile.

Instead, he had taken to walking around his garden more often than not, isolating himself from the other Gods and choosing to be by himself. The night the two of you had planted the sapling on Earth, in his own personal garden up in heaven, the wisteria sapling appeared even though he hadn’t planted one. Over the years it grew alongside yours, a perfect replica that reminded him of you that he visited often when you were in-between lives.

It was to the wisteria tree that he found himself walking towards, hands crossed behind his back, the moon high in the sky. His mind drifted away, barely even thinking about the duties he had to attend to. There were already plenty of council meetings that he had missed and as lenient as Namjoon was, Jin needed to get his act together soon or there’d be consequences. His brothers knew how much he loved you, they themselves all had their own experiences with their own special human, but he had gotten more time with you than any other.

The time to move on was drawing near.

Gently separating the branches, Jin entered the hideaway that the wisteria tree created, it’s petals and branches acting as a veil from reality for the time being. Perhaps he would stay out here and reminisce on the past, at least until it was time for the moon to descend.

“Hey there handsome, you’re late.”

Jin’s eyes widened as he suddenly looked towards the trunk of the tree, staring at the woman standing there.

Your eyes twinkled brighter than the stars, a subtle silver laurel wreath style crown was placed gently on top of your hair, and you wore the white cloth dress with the silver belt that you had worn on the day you two got married. Your first wedding to be exact.

“What?” You asked, your smile widening as you stepped closer to your husband, unable to help yourself from teasing him a little bit. “Do you usually meet up with another woman here?”

In his chest, he felt his heart warm up and begin to beat again at the sight of you. Not wanting to risk you disappearing from him, Jin hurried to your side and swept you off the ground, your laughter echoing throughout the garden as you hugged him back just as a tightly, both his and your bodies glimmering with a silver outline in the darkness.

“Darling, I’ve missed you,” Jin cried, not wanting to speak anymore to kiss your shoulders and neck. Everywhere and anywhere he could, he kissed before finally reaching your soft lips, not letting you get a single word out as an explanation because to be frank, he didn’t care anymore.

You were by his side once again, and without either of you breaking from the sweet reunion, the stars began to illuminate in the night for the first time in months. The moonlight bathed the world in silver stardust, protecting the humans who walked in the night and granting safe journeys to wherever they went, and a blessing for lovers all around.

Even the Gods themselves were stepping out of their homes, all admiring how beautiful the moon and stars looked tonight.

Jin would no longer have to mourn the loss of you, or only have one life at time with you. Now…now the two of you had an eternity of moonlit nights to be together.

[ladyhistorypod]

Episode 18: Three’s Company, Four’s Divine

Sources

Ishtar

Open Richly Annotated Cuneiform Corpus: Mesopotamia Timeline

Open Richly Annotated Cuneiform Corpus: Inanna/Ishtar

Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature: Inanna and Enki

Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature: Inana's Descent to the Netherworld

Cuneiform Digital Library Initiative: Composite Text of Akkadian Descent of Ištar

Journal of Near Eastern Studies

CON­STRUCT­ING THE IM­AGE OF ASSINNU BY MARTTI NISSINEN SAANA SVÄRD

Further Learning: Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature: Epic of Gilgamesh, Epic of Gilgamesh: Standard Babylonian Version

Nüwa

Oxford Reference

Mythopedia

Google Arts & Culture

Further Learning: Remarks by Ambassador Cheng Jingye

Danu & Tuatha Dé Danann

The Goddess Danu (YouTube)

Danu - Irish Goddess (YouTube)

Ancient History of Ireland, Tuatha De Danaan, Scythians, and Phoenicians (YouTube)

Celtic Mythology - An Introduction to the Tuatha De Danann (YouTube)

Further learning: House Shadow Drake - Don and Dana, Celtic Myth and Legend, Poetry and Romance, The Sacred Isle: Belief and Religion in Pre-Christian Ireland, Life Understood from a Scientific and Religious Point of View, The History of Ireland

Persephone

Hesiod’s Theogony

Homer’s Hymn to Demeter

Madeline Miller

Further Learning: Lore Olympus (webcomic), Punderworld (webcomic)

Attributions: A Ghrà by Damiano Baldon

Click below for a transcript of this episode!

Haley: Which goddess is three point three seven feet tall? Kelsie: Three point three seven? Haley: Yes. Alana: Do– do you want us to say? Do you want to say? Lexi: These jokes are just a quiz for Kelsie. Haley: I have to have multiple jokes? I'm not ready. Alana: I have one it’s fine. Haley: Okay well it's Demeter. Alana: And you know you should also you know in in in COVID times, in COVID times you should be standing Demeters apart. Lexi: Oh. My. Lord Jesus. Oh my god. I should say oh my lord Ashera [Ash-er-a]. Kelsie: There you go. Alana: Oh, that's very funny. Haley: I love when Alana’s– Alana: Ashera [Ash-ay-ra], actually please. Lexi: Yeah, right. I knew as soon as I said it I said it wrong. Haley: Every couple of episodes Alana will… like Lexi and I will say something, and Alana will be like “oh that's like really funny” in this tone and like… I’m always funny. Don’t be surprised. I don't need this from you. Kelsie: Actually Haley, you're quite hilarious. Haley: Thank you. Lexi: Wait, but how does that tie into social media? Haley: I didn't get to the question yet. The question is because for… well my dad doesn't listen to my podcast, but for my dad is the worst person to get Christmas or birthday presents and his birthday is January 2, so like hop skip and a jump right after Christmas. But he loves board games, and his favorite board game is Codenames, so I have printed out over two hundred photos– like family photos– of the like stupidest photos in the world. And I'm laminating everything so it could be his own Codenames pictures, replacing all of it. Kelsie: That’s good. Haley: And my question is, is there a photo from your childhood where you're like what am I doing but you have that second jolt of like no this actually makes complete sense when you're realizing like what you're doing in the photo? For me it was crouching down in like the seventh grade next to a kangaroo, waking up a kangaroo, and then immediately after getting punched. I also had bangs but it was Australia and humidity or whatever climate that just didn't work with my curly hair. Lexi: So that was a set up so I could say that the picture of me digging up a dinosaur… Which, famously on this podcast I get mad when people think archaeologists dig up dinosaurs. Kelsie: As you should. Lexi: But yes, there is a picture of me, five years old, digging up a dinosaur. Not a real one. I don't think they’d let four year olds do that. Haley: But the best part is the goggles! Lexi: I have goggles on to protect me from the dirt. Kelsie: That’s important. You don’t want to get schmutz in your eyes. Lexi: But I’ve never been on a dig where I wore goggles. Kelsie: Maybe you should. Maybe you should wear goggles next season. Lexi: You know how much acne I’d get around my face if I wore goggles in the heat of Israel? Alana: Yeah, right? Kelsie: Who cares? Alana: No, go to Ireland! [INTRO MUSIC] Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History; the good, the bad, and the ugly lady you missed in history class. We're back recording new episodes, so here is Lexi. Lexi, what would you be the goddess of? Lexi: Cross stitching and tricycles. Alana: Do you want to elaborate or just leave it at that? Lexi: Well right now I am cross stitching and it's what I do with my hands when I'm talking because I have mental problems and the only way I can focus on something is to do something else mindless. And the tricycle is because I have an adult tricycle and an anecdote my dad took that tries to go into the bike repair shop to get the brake fixed and he was too embarrassed to say it was his daughter’s so he said his wife bought it for his mother in law. Alana: And I really like that question so I'm also gonna ask Haley. Haley, what would you be the goddess of? Haley: I think I would be the goddess of eggs, just because I would control them and like not take it in because like I don't wanna be the goddess of something like I destroy, so like… Alana: For the irony. Haley: The irony. Eggs. Alana: And it's our third ever guest, Kelsie! Kelsie, tell the listeners a skosh about yourself. Kelsie: Hi everybody I'm Kelsie Ehalt. I am a Master’s student at Brandeis right now and I'm going to go and list the department I'm in. It's just a lot of words, so get ready. But I'm in the joint program in Near Eastern and Judaic Studies and Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies, those are two different departments, but they both have ‘ands’ which makes things confusing. But basically I study ancient history via texts right now. I do archaeology as well but right now since digging’s not really a thing because we shouldn’t travel because of the pandemic, I'm really focusing on languages for my Masters. And then I also incorporate the gender studies side of things into the equation, so I'm just looking at how gender functions in the ancient world and thinking about it from a not straight white man perspective, basically, because that's basically all that’s been published. And there’s some better scholarship coming out now, but there's still some work to be done so I'm doing what I can there. Alana: We do love all of that. And I'm Alana and I tried to start an all goddess religion when I was like eight. (Haley laughing) Alana: Me and my friend Kay who is one of my like oldest friends in the whole world, they're gonna get a shout out a little bit later as well because they sort of helped me in my research. We like tried to start up polytheistic all goddess religion when we were like eight. We like had a list of goddesses that we wanted to name and we like created little rituals. A great time to be had. Kelsie: Everyone should have just a religion creation phase I think. Alana: Absolutely. We called it Selenism because the main goddess was Selene. Haley is shaking her head at me and it's making me feel… ways. Haley: I love it but also like… Lexi: I feel like I was like writing fan fiction before I knew it was fan fiction, while you simultaneously were making a religion. Haley: Like I'm not surprised that either of this happened. Not surprised at all. Alana: It's a true story, it's a fun story. We kept a lot of ash in bottles… related to this religion that we were making up. Kelsie: Where did you get ash from when you were like… Haley: Yeah, that’s the… Alana: I don't think we still have it, but like we had it for a while. Lexi: No no no, where did you acquire it? Kelsie: What were you burning? Alana: Oh. From like. I don't remember. Haley: No that's a body. Alana: I think we just like burned paper or something and collected the ash. Kelsie: Oh, that’s not exciting. Alana: We played with a lot of fire when I was… Kay and I… we played with a lot of fire. Haley: Yeah! Yes! Yes. Lexi: I don’t know what to say. Haley: No, playing with fire… Wait, were you a Girl Scout too? Alana: No, I was a Daisy for half an hour and then they wanted me to do all this like stupid weird shit like say my own name in a group of people so that was a no no for baby Alana. Alana said no no to being a Daisy. Kelsie: Alright so I'm going to talk about my girl Ishtar today. So Ishtar is the Akkadian name for the goddess of love and war but the Sumerian version of her name is Inanna so I might switch back and forth between Ishtar and Inanna but know that by the later period they're the same person. There's some debate about whether Ishtar was a separate goddess who became then sort of like coagulated in with this earlier Inanna, or if Ishtar is just like a direct connection to Inanna, there's a debate about this, it’s not quite clear. So I’ll probably refer to her as Ishtar. If I mess up and instead of Inanna it’s because I work with the later period stuff so I don't really see Inanna too much. But anyway so Ishtar, Inanna is the Mesopotamian goddess of love and war. And she's depicted in all kinds of different texts, but obviously we have the most interesting sort of goddess information about her from the mythological texts, but she also shows up in legal texts because they're just invoking her to you know validate decisions, things like that. And people in this period, well in Mesopotamia across all periods of history, have personal gods so she’s invoked in sort of just letters too if they're just like “hey bud I'm sending you this thing, you know, good luck, thanks Ishtar or Inanna.” like whatever, she's brought up a lot. But for today I'm gonna focus on a few of the mythological texts because I think that's where we get the most interesting information about who she is as a character in the Mesopotamian religion. So the biggest story, or the story where she has the biggest role, is– the title’s translated, there's not really a title, they don't always title these tablets. But it's translated as the Descent of Inanna or Ishtar into the Netherworld. So I'm gonna give you a little summary of what goes on in that story which is… it's a fun one. I actually– this is one of the first things I– the actual– first actual texts I worked on translating in Akkadian, not just working out of the exercise the book but actually working with text. So I'm gonna tell you the Sumerian version a slightly longer, and there are more details, so I'm gonna tell you that version, and then I can tell you how the later Akkadian versions differ later. So here, Inanna–because this is Sumerian– she's deciding to go down to the netherworld. It's kind of conceived as like a cavern type thing underground so I guess I should go over Mesopotamian cosmogony first so we have Earth here which is where you know humans and mortals lived, and above that is the heavens, which is pretty standard for what modern Abrahamic traditions follow as well. But then beneath the Earth, we have the netherworld or underworld. In Sumerian it’s kur, in Akkadian it's kurnigi… I'll just call it the netherworld. And then between the netherworld and the Earth we have the Apsu, which is sort of this underground water where things happened too, and that's where Enki lives. And that's also– that plays a role in the creation story of Enuma Elish where Tiamat, one of the primordial goddesses who's the goddess of fresh water...? Either freshwater or saltwater I’m forgetting. She mixes with Apsu which is either freshwater or saltwater, whichever one she's not, and they create the other gods from there. So the Apsu is really important because it's sort of the origin point of all of the gods within Mesopotamian… the Mesopotamian pantheon. It's also where Enki lives, and he's one of the head gods too and we'll talk about him some more in the story because he plays a role. Okay so in the Descent of Inanna… so she's going down to the underworld to visit her sister Ereshkigal, who is the goddess of the underworld. I'm forgetting what her name is in Sumerian, it might be still Ereshkigal. But she’s going down to visit Ereshkigal because her husband– Ereshkigal’s husband has died, so Inanna wants to go to his funeral. And before she goes down, she tells her assistant– it's translated as minister in the versions that I looked at– her minister whose name is Ninshubur– I'm not sure about the length of the vowels there, but Ninshubur is Inanna’s like assistant, I'm imagining like a PA. And so Inanna is like “okay Ninshubur, like I'm going down, it's kind of dangerous to go, people don't really go down to the netherworld, so if I'm not back in three days go ask these gods for help.” and she gives a list of gods. First is Enlil, and then Urim, Nanna, and Enki. That's important later because she gives a list of four and it's important that she gives a list of four because the first three don't help her, but we'll get to that in a minute. So Ninshubur is like “okay, great, have a good visit to the netherworld,” and off Inanna goes. So Inanna goes down, she’s stopped by the gatekeeper… and the gatekeeper says “hold up, what are you doing here and why are you here?” And so Inanna says “I'm visiting my sister because her husband died and I want to go to the funeral” and he's like “okay let me go ask her.” So he goes and asks Ereshkigal if it’s okay and Ereshkigal is concerned because before Inanna went down, she got these powers. And the powers are manifest in physical objects. So she gets a ring that has some sort of special power, and this lapis lazuli necklace that has a power, and there are seven other– seven total things, so five other things that have powers. And so Ereshkigal knows that Inanna brought these and she's concerned about them because there's a sort of not trusting dynamic between them even though they are sisters. So Inanna’s like okay you can let her in but close all seven gates and only open one at a time to let her in, and each gate take one of her things. So she goes through it's the same sort of structure throughout, in the Sumerian. And she goes to one gate, they take her ring. She goes to the second gate, they take her hat or whatever. And it goes on for seven gates. And then she gets to the last gate, they let her in, and basically it was a trap. Speaker 0: They… it's kind of confusing. The Sumerian is not really clear on what exactly happens. But I've sent Alana the link to the translation that I looked at, and so you can read it too if you want to see– Alana: That will be in our show notes at ladyhistorypod dot tumblr dot com. Kelsie: Yeah. So I used the version that the… the Electronic Corpus of Sumerian Literature version which is trans– it's sort of a… It's a compilation of some different translations but it's a pretty standard not too fluffy interpretive translation, so I thought it was pretty good. But basically… so she gets the last gate and then they start yelling at Inanna and then she turns into a corpse and they put her on a hook. I'm not exactly sure what the process of these things are, but I’m imagining they're yelling at her and she just sort of like desicates and like dries up and they like put her on a hook. The motivation isn't super clear, I think, and some of the tablet is broken, so there… we might be missing some of the context, of course. And you know, of course, something important happens in a break, that's always the case, it’s never something boring. So maybe there’s some sort of other story, and maybe it's orally transmitted, detailing the drama between Ereshkigal and Inanna. Maybe there's a more specific reason why Ereshkigal does not trust Inanna and therefore wants to take her powers and then trick her to stay in the netherworld. Anyway, so Inanna's dried up, on a hook, and then three days passed and so Ninshubur, you know, being the loyal personal assistant, realizes three days have passed and Inanna’s not back, so she's like “oh shit, I better go get help.” So she goes to the first person that Inanna told her to ask for help from, Enlil. Enlil says “no, I’m not helping.” And then Ninshubur goes to Urim, Urim says “no I'm not helping.” And then Ninshubur goes to Nanna, and Nanna says “no, I’m not helping.” And finally she goes to Enki, who in some versions of myths is Inanna’s father. And in this version he… the wording is that he is her father, but we have to be careful with the wording about like familial relations in Near Eastern text because sometimes they’re just using them to describe power dynamics, not actual biological relations. So even though Enki here is you know referring to Inanna as his daughter, it might just be a power dynamic thing rather than a biological relation. That's not super clear, but in other versions of the story he’s also depicted as her father so I think that's fair enough to go for the narrative. But anyway, he’s like “okay fine I'll help, what is Inanna doing?” And so Ninshubur explains that she went down to the netherworld and is stuck. So Enki's like “okay I have a plan.” So he makes these two figures and these are gonna come up later because these figures are what I'm doing my thesis on. He takes dirt from his fingernail and he makes a kurgarru and in the Sumerian it’s galutera. In later Akkadian is just galu. But these two figures– and I’ll explain a little bit more later when I talk about what I'm doing for my thesis– there are some interesting gender performance things going on with these figures. But right now I’ll just leave them as helpers that Enki makes from dirt from under his fingernail. And he gives one of them a plant and he gives one of them water, and he’s like “okay, go down to the netherworld, and give… you're gonna see a corpse, and it's gonna be confusing, but that corpse is your queen.” So I love that saying, because he's like “you’re gonna see this dead body” so he knows what happened already, which I don't understand how that happened. But he's like “you're gonna see this corpse, give her the water, give her the food, and you'll be okay.” They go down, they give Inanna the water and the plant, and she– I assume like somehow revives. And I’m imagining like a sponge, like they put the water on her and like I said before, like I’m imagining like the yelling like desiccated her, so there was sort of like… like soaking up the water. And so okay… she's like “okay I'm fine now.” So they start to leave, and these two demons stop them, the group of three who are leaving, so there’s five of them now. And they say “well, no one ever leaves the netherworld, so you need to send someone to replace you.” And she's like “okay, who do you want” and they're like “we want your assistant” and she's like “no she's too loyal” and then they're like “we want your manicurist” and she's like “no she's too good” and then they're like “what about your husband” and Inanna’s like “okay sure, I guess.” There's some other stories about her husband Demuzi, that it was an arranged marriage too so Inanna is like not too keen on her husband. But so anyway, so the demons go to take Demuzi, and he's like “oh no, I don't want to go to the netherworld.” So he talks to his brother Utu, who lives in the heavens, and he's like “Utu, turn my limbs into snakes so I can escape the demons” and Utu is like “okay, that sounds like a good idea.” And so he turns his limbs into snakes, and he escapes the demons. And then the last part of the story is really fragmented, so I have no idea what's going on, but apparently Demuzi escapes, and then some other things happen, and then Inanna talks to a fly…  like a bug, a fly, who says “I know where your husband is, we can go find him.” And then apparently the fly helps her– it's broken so it's hard to know and then the story ends somewhere there. But that's the short, sort of humorous version of the Sumerian version of the descent of Ishtar, or Inanna, rather. And then the Akkadian version is a lot shorter, it leaves out a lot of the details of… it doesn't have the story afterward, after they leave the netherworld and the demons are trying to take someone back to replace Inanna, the Akkadian version doesn't have that. One of the notable things but the Akkadian version, I think, and this sort of links into my master's thesis, which I’ll get to in a second, is that when Ishtar, in this case since we're talking about the Akkadian, is stuck in the netherworld, there's a whole series of lines repeated twice or three times where it's like all of the animals and humans aren't having sex anymore. And things are bad. And so that's how they know that something's wrong with Ishtar, instead of the assistant sending people down to help, other people realize that something's wrong, which I think is interesting. And then, you know, then she gets back and it's okay. But yeah. So, to talk about my thesis a little bit. So I'm focusing on a couple different figures in the cult of Ishtar, the main ones I'm focusing on is the assinnu. The assinnu is the syllabic spelling of it in Akkadianin but there's also a logogram which in Sumerian is sagg or sag. That one you see sometimes the other one is urmunis which is literally man-woman. Haley: Fun fact, sag in Farsi is dog. Kelsie: Oh, really? Haley: Yeah. Kelsie: In Sumerian it’s head or like top. Haley: Oh that's fun. I was ready for you to be like wolf. Kelsie: No, it's the same as the Arabic it's kelb, kelbum in Akkadian. Anyway, so I think there's definitely something going on interesting gender-wise with these figures, and so actually I first came up with this topic because I was reading the descent of Ishtar in Akkadian, not the Sumerian version. But my first semester of Akkadian, and my professor was a PhD student and we got to a part where– the part where in the Akkadian version, Ea instead of Enki makes an assinnu. And it's the word assinnu in the Akkadian version, but it’s kurgarru and galla in the Sumerian version, but these are all kind of related. I'm throwing words out, I’ll explain the difference– and also the difference isn't super clear, so if you’re confused between them, everyone is. There's not a clear distinction between these roles that we found in the textual evidence so far. But I was like “okay what's an assinnu” because I never heard that word before, that's not a common word in Akkadian and he’s like “oh, it's like a third gender person” and like that raised red flags in my gender studies brain, I'm like okay like whenever you categorize something as third gender without any other discussion there's something interesting going on there. So I started reading some more about what people had written about the assinnu and it turned out to be pretty gross because as we all know being archaeology students and students of the ancient world, it's all white straight man… cis straight men writing about basically everything and so that's the case with gender as well, unfortunately. And so in all these different translations of texts, the assinnu are translated from everything as like cultic prostitute, to eunuch, to impersonator– all these gross words that I think… one, just really limit the conversation that you could have about gender in these figures because you're placing so many modern assumptions on them just with the single word that you're using, and two, especially words like eunuch and cultic prostitute like there's no textual evidence to support these interpretations anyway. So it's all this secondary scholarly interpretation being placed on these figures where you know there's not many textual instances of them, so it's hard to say what exactly is going on but there's not specific evidence for castration or prostitution. For my thesis I’m basically going through and writing about how the word assinnu and kurgarru and galu and kalu have been translated by scholars, and then going back and seeing like what can we figure out in terms of their gender performance from the actual textual evidence that we have, as opposed to just going to these simplistic, interpretive labels. And my proposition, too, at the end is to not translate words like that because any translation that we have is going to simplify the role of these figures and I think just leaving it in the Akkadian leaves more room open for describing the things that they did and leaving it open because we don't know a lot about them, and just leaving that sort of gray area there instead of just labeling them one thing or another. But yeah so that's what I'm working on for my thesis, and all of these figures are associated with Ishtar specifically. And I think there is something interesting there because of Ishtar’s liminality herself because she's the goddess of love and war and those are two kind of opposite things. And her own gender performance is kind of somewhere in between this binary because sometimes she's portrayed in cylinder seals and things with a beard, and her animal is a male lion, or a lion with a mane, at least. I mean there are female lions with manes too. So I think Ishtar herself has some interesting gender things going on, so it makes total sense that her cultic functionaries, her cultic personnel, also had some interesting gender things going on too. So I'm just trying to figure out what exactly we can say about what's going on within her temple. There’s not a lot of evidence, but just trying to figure out what's going on. Lexi: I love it. I love your thesis. Haley: My mind is blown. Lexi: I really struggled to settle on a lady for this episode because I wanted to do something interesting but I didn’t want my lady to be from the same region as like another lady that was already being covered by one of you in this episode and that's– the regions you are familiar with are the regions I am familiar with because we had the same professors. So I had to branch out of my comfort zone and explore a person I had never explored– well, a god I never explored because this is goddesses. So I did what any sensible person would do and I reached out to my sister– sorority sister, for everyone who's been following along. And I would like to thank my sister Amber for suggesting this lady. It was a very good suggestion. So I'm talking today about Nüwa. Clarification, as always, I do not speak Chinese, so that's the best that it’s going to get but it's probably not totally correct but do with that what you will. I speak Korean, not Chinese. Alana: Have I been Jewish yet? Have we said Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots yet? We got to get all three. Lexi: You got them in. We got them in. Nüwa is the mother goddess of traditional Chinese mythology, so you know we know of a lot of other mythologies from other parts of the world and there often is a mother figure… you know, a matriarch among the deities if you know what I mean. So she's that but in China. And her name is made up of two characters, nu which means woman and wa which is a unique character that is only a part of her name, so that's how it distinguishes her from women in general, it's Nu-Wa. And she is the sister and wife of emperor god Fuxi. And Fuxi is the god who created hunting and cooking, which is a fun combo like hunt then cook? Not vegan, but very relevant to each other. She is often depicted as a serpent, and it's her body is the figure of a serpent and she has a woman's head. And she is capable of shape shifting into anything she wants so she can change how she appears. And let me just say she looks really dope, like what a vibe, check out our Instagram, I’ll put up a picture there, or Google her, but I'm obsessed with the different looks that she has. In some depictions she's just drawn as a woman in traditional Chinese dress, which is hanfu and that's slightly less cool but like chill. And in the traditional Chinese creation story Nüwa created humankind from the earth. And we see this in a lot of creation myths. If you know of creation myths from around the world, a lot of times like the physical earth or clay or dirt is related to the creation of humankind. So the story goes that one day she was walking through the woods and she found the woods to be so beautiful that she was sad that she couldn't share the beauty with others. She wanted someone else to enjoy the beauty of the earth. So she decided to create humans from the clay around the river. So she stopped at the riverbank, she picked up the clay, and she's like “I can make humans out of this.” And it is said that she made the aristocracy, like the aristocratic class from yellow clay from the riverbank, and the lower classes were made from mud. And so Nüwa made the upper classes with her hands, she molded them, but her hands got tired and so she picked up a rope and she dipped in the mud, swung it around over her head, and the mud that dropped off became the lower classes. So there is a class distinction in this story, I assume it was at one point in history perpetuated by the upper classes to justify like the class divide in their society but that's how the story goes. And there are several versions that story with varying details so if you are curious to go explore it there are texts about her written in Chinese and Vietnamese and a couple other Asian languages, so if you speak any of those and want to go read it, feel free. But that's the general basic… things that seem to be true in every version of the story. She is credited with defeating the evil water god who is depicted as a black dragon and is named Gonggong, which… I love that name too, like I love the double syllable situation. It's like you could call a pet that, but I guess not since he's an evil water god, maybe it's not good luck to name your pet after him. And Gonggong he’d ripped a hole in the sky when he was battling another god– it was the fire god, so the water and fire god were like [fighting noises] you know? That was not good podcast audio, but they were going at it, him and the fire god. Alana: How am I supposed to transcribe that? Lexi: Ahhh noise! Kelsie: Throw in some vowels and some Hs. Lexi: They were going at it. And they were fighting. And Gonggong ripped down one of the pillars, which is a mountain. He ripped it down, and the sky got a big hole in it. This is a big problem because the sky protected the people from like crazy weather phenomena, so like rain, tsunami, crazy kind of like… crazy crap was happening in the sky. And so she repaired the hole and saved the humans because she loved them because they were her creation, and versions of the story also differ, with one suggesting that she died of exhaustion because she was so tired because she had like held up the sky and put it back together. But she saved humankind, so it was like her last great feat. And another version suggests that she could not repair the sky with just the material she had, so she herself became stone and put the sky back together. So there’s either the version of her dying of exhaustion or her actually becoming the material to repair the sky. Either way, this is her final story so she sacrifices herself to save humankind from Gonggong's mistake. Kelsie: Wait, so with the second version where she is repairing the sky herself is there like an astrological sort of connection to her then? Is there like a constellation representing her? Lexi: That's a good question. No source I read specifically dictated that. Particularly I think because she tends to be associated with the day, but I am unsure. There might be a constellation related to her. She's technically the goddess of marriage and fertility. Chinese religion has really changed over time, but despite that, Nüwa has remained an important figure to many people in China. There are many temples and shrines that are dedicated to her and preserved in her honor, including one that is seen as the ancestral shrine of all humanity, so she's very central in like the identity structure of China. And some women in China today pray to Nüwa for assistance in issues of fertility or marriage, so like if you want a husband you're supposed to go and be like “Nüwa! Give me a man!” and if you want to have a baby, you're supposed to go to Nüwa and be like “Nüwa! Birth me a son!” and so on and so forth. In addition to her role in religion, she also features prominently in pop culture in China and other parts of Asia. She has been a character in three video games, so you can go play Nüwa. I don't know exactly how these video games work, I have not played them. But if that's your jam, Google it. And in numerous television shows and films, there's films that depict all the different stories surrounding her and other deities so she factors into those stories too, and there have been film adaptations specifically of the sky fixing story. And on Earth Day in 2012, a statue of Nüwa created by a Chinese professor was revealed in Time Square as a representation of the importance of protecting the ozone layer because the theme of that year's Earth Day was the ozone layer. And so the ozone layer protects humans and is similar to the sky and Nüwa in her stories… so the statue is of her holding up a piece of the sky… Nüwa holding a piece of the sky…  and she's holding that up and that represents the ozone layer and the fact that we need to keep the ozone layer safe, so as you would give to Nüwa and worship Nüwa you should worship and protect the ozone layer… so on and so forth. Very very cool. And the statue was later moved to Vienna and I've included in the further reading the transcript of the speech that was given when the statue was installed in Vienna which is now where it lives forever, so it's really interesting if you're into that kind of thing. And also I will include a link to the Google Arts and Culture page that describes the statue and you can learn more about the statue and what it's made of if you like that kind of thing and what it looks like. Haley: I was having like a mental identity crisis with who I was gonna pick, and I was on TikTok, of course, scrolling through like just for inspiration. And I came on for my like For You Page. I think that's what it's called, the youths call it, a fun story about Danu and Tuatha Dé Danann. I really… Okay, so this is Irish mythology that we're doing a deep dive into, and I asked Robert how to pronounce these, and of course I forgot. So in Irish mythology, Danu, meaning the flowing one or the divine one who brings all things into being, is associated with both masculine and feminine things which is like right on. However, every time I pick– like, I couldn't decipher like, discern whether she was representation– like if you looked at her while she had her pronouns, or assuming from scholars now she/her pronouns, if she would represent both masculine and feminine or if she is just associated with because she's the divine one who brings all things into being. Because when you look at her it's– I put a lot in the further reading but I used a lot of YouTube videos of the people who are like kinda amateur experts in this… certainly not myself. And a lot of the representation that they put up were very feminine goddess like. Like very nature-esque, flowing long hair, flowing skirts and dresses, or sometimes like a warrior but really like honing in on that feminine side. And that's just my tangent. So she is also like the earth goddess of fertility and growth, abundance, agriculture, as well as intellect, change, and wisdom– and a whole host of others. She just does it all, apparently. She's also like the hypothetical mother goddess of the Tuatha Dé Danann which is what I'm also going to talk about. But before that, because this group of people, the Tuatha Dé Danann, which is Old Irish for the people of the goddess of Danu and the anai– the A. N. A. I. within the name means wealth and that's kind of strange because this… when I'm reading Danu is D. A. N. U. and that’s not found in any like medieval Irish text which was kind of like a point in time where people were like okay it's not in this period and afterwards type of situation. That goes for a lot of her myths and legends. And if you let me nerd out for a sec, let's go into some etymology of the name Danu. Scholars believe that the name Danu is the nominative form and the genitive form is Danann, spelled as like D. A. N. A. N. N. or D. O. N. A. N. D. or D. A. N. A. N. D., which is seen in the primary sources, that’s also how the name Tuatha Dé Danann is spelled. It's the D. A. N. A. N. N., the genitive form of Danu. Again, with these people, they are the people of the goddess of Danu. And this is the story that I'm actually gonna focus on because spoiler it's great and it's also one of the most well known sources, just if you like do a Google search this is the one that keeps popping up with her. And it's about how… basically Ireland was kind of populated. So opening our book to a short story, while there are a bunch of little stories like within this one story, I'm kind of like lumping it all up. And in Irish mythology  Tuatha Dé Danann were the first people or tribe in Ireland. Since they're supernatural and they're not necessarily human but they are human, the way they arrived to Ireland was like via dark clouds and mist which also gets strange because they landed on Connacht. Am I saying that right, Alana? Alana: Connacht. Haley: Connacht. Alana: C. O. N. N. A. C. H. T.? Haley: Yes! Yes ma’am. Alana: Connacht. Yeah Haley: Which is on the west side of Ireland. And this is where– Alana: It's– throwback to episode two, that is around where Gráinne Ní Máille was born and lived and did her pirate-y thing. Haley: Exactly. So this is like why it gets weird, why I say it's like they arrived via dark clouds and mist because they also had boats. So when I was first reading this, I was expecting like people coming out of like dark mist and clouds because clouds are in the sky! But I think now like boats come along with it, so there might be spaceship boats or like water boats. But– Alana: Like in Treasure Planet. Haley: Exactly! That’s what I was thinking. Lexi: Ancient Aliens? The aliens brought boats down and created the Irish people? Haley: NO. Alana: No no no no. Treasure Planet. Treasure Planet is the analogy that we are going with, Treasure Planet. Haley: Yes. And when they arrived, they supposedly burned the boats, hence forcing them to settle in the land they like docked. Which made little to no sense-tentacles, because you literally like, again, rode in like a cloud of mist. And also I want to know when they settled, and they were like “okay, we have food, water, shelter. Let's burn them boats.” And that's fine, that's a great tradition, I'm not like saying for the tradition. But what if, like, if it was immediate, how did you know that was like a suitable habitat? Because like wouldn't you say “oh, we don't have like one of the three basic needs, four, five basic needs that we need, let's get back on our boats and travel around.” These are also supernatural beings and I'm just overanalyzing mythology. That's what I do. Also once they were settled, so like post-burning boats, I guess… It was said that they stayed there for centuries. And for the archaeologists and all of us here part of the myth that is the ring forts, are also called like the fairy forts… Alana is making a face. And that's because that– Alana: I dug a ring fort! Haley: Connection to you and Susan. Probably Susan, why I know this story. So– Alana: This is the Susan Johnston appreciation episode part two. Haley: I actually have a book that she gave me right next to me on my desk, I have with my library background. Anywho, the fairy forts are like often called fairy forts because the Tuatha Dé Danann used them as portals to another like world. And side note, if a human were to happen across the portal they would be forced to dance until they went mad. Honestly, that’s just like… I read that and it was also kind of like– Lexi: What a way to go. Haley: Exactly. Kelsie: It wouldn't take very long for me, like you know twenty minutes I'm gone. Haley: I know! I was like I can dance through like one album of ABBA but like if we get into an album of the Beatles I might like cease to exist. Alana: (Gagging noise) I hate the Beatles. Famously I hate the Beatles. Haley: Rude. And then she is on a podcast with like one of the best Beatles lovers ever. Lexi, right there and then I’m like a– Alana: I hate the Beatles. I think they're overrated. I think it's just like mediocre white men getting more credit than they deserve. Lexi: Well, Sergeant Pepper takes your note and kindly throws it out.The bird. Haley: He took a nice poop on it. Alana: That's fine. Whatever. Haley: Okay so back to my story, because it’s about me right now. We all went mad. And then lastly, this is my last note, so when the Celts invaded, the legend goes that they all turned themselves into fairies, hence, fairy forts! And then they keep watch over the land. That's them. That's Danu. Kelsie: What's the– I don't know if you know this, and maybe I… maybe there’s not an answer, but what's the significance of… between fairies and circles around things? Like when I think of like– like I know about ring forts, I didn't realize there was a connection to fairy forts. But then like winding up like fairies and circles like… Haley: Yeah. Kelsie: Mushrooms, like that’s also a circle-y thing on the ground. Is that a bigger thing? Haley: So, the circle is like the portal, and the reason why it's called fairies is that the legend says they turned into fairies. So it's like fairy forts, that’s their fort. Kelsie: That makes sense. Haley: That's the most I can tell you. I'm sure there's more. There are a lot of YouTubers out there. Lexi: Also, circles is magic. Alana: I'm talking about Persephone the Greek theological figure, ancient Greek. I identify with her very strongly because I also contain multitudes. There is a poem by Nichole McElhaney who is the author of A Sisterhood of Thorns and Vengeance, a book that apparently just like does not exist, because I cannot find it in print anywhere. But the poem goes “Do not worry about your contradictions - Persephone is both floral maiden and queen of death. You, too, can be both.” And I love that. But apparently like the book doesn't exist Nichole McElhaney has a couple of other poetry books with really interesting cool names similar to A Sisterhood of Thorns and Vengeance. She is also known as Proserpina in Rome, and also known as Kora or Kore, which means maiden. And she becomes Persephone when she is like queen of the underworld which we will get to… the stuff that you might know… because of the Percy Jackson series. So in Homer's Hymn to Demeter… Homer's Hymn to Demeter is kind of the primary source we have for the story of Persephone being taken to the underworld. Homer describes her as slim-ankled, which my friend Kay, shout out Kay, who I brought up earlier, we tried to make a religion together, they are an expert in classical literature and they said that that probably meant like a graceful or delicate or something along those lines. So the story is Hades saw her in a field, abducted her, and took her to the underworld and like made her his queen and something about pomegranate seeds, that he forced her only one in Homer’s hymn. It’s only like one seed. You hear it like three or six other places, but in Homer it's just one. Here's what you might not know about that myth, according to Homer. Hades had Zeus’s permission to do this, but not Demeter’s, who is Persephone’s mother. And Demeter goes searching all over like the whole world for Persephone, and everyone saw what happened– like the sun god saw what happened and was like yeah we're not gonna help you because like basically they said she could do a lot worse as far as a husband goes. She's like queen of the underworld right now. I think like that's a pretty good deal… you know Hades isn't going cheating on his wife like someone we know. Zeus. But according to Homer, one pomegranate seed meant three months in the underworld. Anyway Persephone– this is a really short story I'm sorry– Persephone. She is part of the agrarian triad which is a group of three agricultural slash harvest deities with Demeter and a god called Triptolemus. Kelsie: Lexi would call this an agricultural throuple. Alana: That's an excellent point. I don't think there is any evidence for that but I do like the idea of it being a throuple. So Persephone as queen of the underworld kind of gives a more pleasant face to the concept of death and the afterlife, so it kind of like helps Hades’s reputation and there's not as much stigma about it because yeah you're dying but look the goddess of spring is also queen of the underworld, so that's pretty cool. Now I'm going to cede the rest of my time to modern reinterpretations that are all written by women or some other marginalized group. The only one whose like gender I don't know is married to a man and cis straight men don't marry other men by definition, so this person is marginalized in some other way. I don't know if they know that, but it's really cool story. So first of all, Hadestown. Wow. Anais Mitchell. It's beautiful. It's jazzy. It's so much fun. It's Hades and Persephone but they've like fallen out of love after so long and also the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice is in there. I want a live recording of it– it's a Broadway show– I want a live recording of it the way that Hamilton has been. I think that is what we deserve. There is also a couple of webcomics, the first one is Punderworld, which has a very– why are you shaking your head Kelsie? Kelsie: It’s such a bad pun and it has pun in the word! Alana: It’s a bad pun and it has pun in the word. It's a very realistic art style, there are not a ton of episodes, one of them made the rounds on tumblr while ago if you were still there. And it takes place in a more realistic like ancient Greek Olympian kind of setting. Links to the webcomics by the way will be in further learning which is what I've been calling it lately because it's not always reading. The other one is called Lore Olympus. There are a lot of episodes of this one. It is more whimsical but also somehow grittier? Like all the characters are kind of color-coded. Athena has a very androgynous, ace, butch lesbian vibe like someone else in the Zoom right now. So it’s like Olympus is a modern city, but the mortal realm is still in ancient Greece. It's really cool, I was up until five AM last night reading it because I just like gave up and was like I just have to read this. Shout out to my friend Em who told me about those webcomics. Also Madeline Miller, who wrote Circe which was an incredible book and Song of Achilles which I haven't read yet, wrote a really cool piece about Persephone several years ago that basically ends with if Madeline Miller were Persephone we would always have winter because she loves pomegranates so much and that is a mood. Lexi: I love that you brought up Percy Jackson because it always bothers me but there are so many cool modern literary takes on a lot of these things but that's the one that had to get famous? Haley: I'm rereading and I finished the Percy Jackson series, forgot how much like I invested myself into it. I think I only read like the first book and like half of the second because I don't remember the third, fourth, fifth but I have the next series which is like… Alana: The Heroes of Olympus or something? And it’s the Roman? Haley: Maybe. I think that's the next one. Alana: I read the first four Percy Jackson books in a weekend, and I would have read the fifth one in a weekend but it was not out yet. Lexi: I was a fan of them as a child. Alana: I was in like fourth grade. Lexi: Yeah probably fourth grade. But my mom decided I was still a fan of them and for my twenty third birthday I asked for a single ticket to go see Hamilton by myself, but for the same price my mother bought four tickets to see Percy Jackson the Musical. Picture this– Haley: Wait, where was it first? Lexi: It was on Broadway. I mean a real Broadway– Haley: They had Broadway? Lexi: Yes. Picture a thirty two year old gay twink dancing around the stage pretending to be a twelve year old boy. Alana: That just sounds like the Percy Jackson Lightning Thief movie. Lexi: Yes. Alana: But with singing. Haley: To be fair Logan Lehrman because I– Alana: Oh, Logan Lehrman is incredible. Lexi: Also, I won't spoil the musical, the musical's gone now it doesn't run anymore, but in case they ever do another iteration and people want to see I won’t completely spoil it. But it is written where there's only a cast of eight people but all the characters are covered by those eight people, and so there are some weird interesting things where that really take you out of the story because like they have to do double duty as characters and all they do to change is like throw on a jacket. Haley: Is it just the first book? Lexi: Yes and no like how the movie was the first book, but like not. You know I mean? Haley: Yeah. Lexi: It's not a truthful direct adaptation. The songs were like “when your dad’s a god, your dad's a god. The one other thing I want to say about it is my brother and I had both for the books as kids and were like okay we'll go see this as like a family thing, whatever. During the intermission, a girl behind us who was probably maybe fourteen or fifteen would not shut up about Percy Jackson to her family and my brother leaned in and was like if we’d come here seven years ago that would have been you. And I mean probably. But to that team who put that on. Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on ladyhistorypod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review, or tell your friends, and if you don't like the show, keep it to yourself. Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra you can find her on Twitter and Instagram at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, GarageBand, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time, on Lady History. Haley: Next week on Lady History, she’s going to blind us with some science. We're doing a deep dive into the women of twentieth century science. Haley: We good. Alana: Amazing.

[ittybittydragonfox]

The Art of Creating Your Own Divination Method

Divination is not a cookie-cutter technique. It’s not one-size-fits-all. It’s not just tarot cards, rune stones, and pendulums. Divination has had thousands of methods across the world, and just because there are traditions doesn’t mean we have to follow them.

I often hear from new diviners that they’re struggling to read for themselves, or that they just don’t feel they’re connecting with the methods they have access to. So why not create your own? When I give this suggestion, I get a look of shock, awe, and sometimes even confusion. Real life shocked pikachu face. How would you go about it? What do I do?

Well, let’s talk about it. This here is a guide to help you get started.

What does “custom” mean? The first thing you need to realize about a customized divination method is that it belongs to you. No one else. It’s power is yours, it should serve you. Try things out until they feel right. And what feels right to you, is right for this system. What works for you is not for others to decide.

You know everything about yourself. More than even tarot will ever know. So use that knowledge to create a method of divination that plays on your strengths, mitigates your weaknesses, and turns your natural abilities and inclinations into an asset.

Deciding a Method Divination comes in many forms. Are you a physical person? Maybe you need to be shuffling cards or throwing stones or flipping coins. Are you an intellectual? Maybe you need to be interpreting the meanings in puzzles or creating patterns out of numbers. Whatever it is you’re good at,  make it a key aspect of your practice.

I, myself, am naturally a physical person. I can’t sit still. I need my hands to be doing something. So I chose a technique that involves movement. I have to shake my dice, and toss them around. But I’m also very good at seeing connections. So the proximity of the dice to each other on their given spaces on my mat changes the meaning of how I read.

Deciding on Tools Do you collect things? Do you assign special meaning to numbers or pictures or objects? Does your practice consider something to be sacred? Use those things in your new divination method.

As a child, I used to collect rocks. All rocks. I gave them names and meanings and would throw them around my room. Where they landed and what “face” they were showing (that rough patch on the side? that indent on the top? what about the smooth, shiny spot in the center?) told me what they were trying to say to me. In my new method of divining, I refined this with dice, and each number on the die is treated like the face of a stone. But it’s still just a glorified version of my stone throwing. And the spaces in my room are replaced with a hand-made mat, that has zones for certain aspects of a situation. I think in broad, sweeping strokes and refine my ideas later. The mat represents those broad strokes, and the dice are the intricate details.

Deciding on Mechanics What are your strengths? Lean into that and make your divination into something that turns them into an asset. Even mechanically. Are you naturally good at categorizing things? Create a mat with zones. Are you good at interpretation? Then leave a lot of room for it in your method. Good at finding pictures in the clouds? What do those pictures mean to you?

What are your weaknesses? Do you struggle with applying things to yourself? Create a method you consider objective. Do you love something so much it’s distracting? Find a way to either avoid using it, or to mitigate the distraction it causes.

I personally work in medicine, and I have a deep love of mythology. Both play an important role in my divination. And, I’m a Shinto-Pagan. Eastern philosophy (sourced from Japan, not western interpretation of it), is a key part of how interpretation works, on a fundamental level, for me. But, because I’m using a set of D&D dice, two dice have the number 12. Which is my favorite number. Whenever I see it, I play much more attention to it. Even though the associations with 12 have no more weight than any other number in my method. So to mitigate that hyperfocus, I’ve taken one dice and given it “positive” connotations, and the other “negative” for the number 12. So if 12 does pop up, it’s not always a good thing, and my urge to hone in on it will result in a more balanced reading, rather than an always-good one.

Give It Purpose Divination tools always have their strengths and weaknesses. Tarot is great for a detailed look at broad topics, but practitioners debate about whether “yes and no” questions are really best for it. So in what parts of your life do you need answers? What’s not covered in what you’re already doing? Do you want it to specialize in something or do you want a general tool?

My personal set is good for overlooking situations, and understanding the people around me, but it is not a “yes or no” type of set. It’s great at making lists of factors and seeing things as they are with clarity, but it doesn’t hand out solutions to problems. I use it to see where I’m at, rather than where I’m going.

Make It Yours This is the part where a lot of people just kinda give up. They hunt for the lore to back up their style, or for the traditional correspondences to line up. And I’m here to tell you that none of that matters. None of it.

What do you feel about the things you’ve chosen? If you want a method that will speak to you, you need to put yourself into it. What memories are invoked when you think of the symbols you’ve chosen? What do you associate with those animals you painted on those rocks? There’s your meaning. Use it. This is literally all about you!

If you want those traditional aspects to your divination, that’s okay. Just make sure they resonate with you, and that you’re not just adding them to feel legitimate. You can’t be an imposter when you’ve created something new and yours.

Give Yourself Room to Grow and to Fail Sometimes we don’t get things right on the first try. And that’s okay. Give yourself that space. And be willing to go back and make changes as you grow and learn how you work with this method best. Sometimes it takes a few shots. Sometimes, it just takes time. I spent six months making mine, even with all this understanding of who I am and what I’m good at. It’s okay to take time, to put your creativity to it’s limits, and to backtrack once in a while. Few things in magic work out in their first iteration; divination is no exception.

And there you go. It’s really as easy or as complicated as you want to make it. And in the end, you’ll have a full divination set, all your own, that speaks to you in ways it will never speak to others. I hope you have fun learning about how you divine, and how you can create something personal and meaningful through magic and your own power.

Happy creating!

Jake

[scribeofmorpheus]

Mark of the Wolf Part 13

Catch Up Here!

Pairing: Derek Hale x Reader (Lastname: Markolf)

Words: 3k

Warnings: Exposition dump! 

A/N: This chapter and I are frenemies. On the one hand, I love delving into lore, on the other... I don’t like info dumbing, but... Yeah. Also, I didn’t get a chance to work on some things that I had originally intended but the good news is that the action picks up in chapter 14! I haven’t proofread so bear with me. 

Leave a like or reblog if you enjoyed this chapter! It helps ☺

"Vampires?" Peter huffed with a humorous chortle in his throat.

Maggie pinched the bridge of her nose, annoyed that he had interrupted her mid-sentence, "Not in the conventional Vlad the Impaler sense… but yes, for lack of a better term, 'vampire' is as accurate an explanation as I can give."

Theo chuckled under his breath, his body shaking with amusement, "Vampires. Now I've heard it all."

"Almost everyone in this room is a werewolf and you're a chimera, but for some reason believing in a well-established mythological creature just as popular as the werewolf is where you draw the line?" Stiles gawked at both Peter and Theo.

"I'll believe it when I see it," Peter folded his arms.

"Perhaps if you'd let Maggie finish what she was telling us, we'd have an easier time swallowing this 'vampires exist' pill," Stiles posited with some annoyance in his voice.

"Thank you, Stiles," Maggie said gratefully before continuing: "Okay so from what I've gathered, we know that these hunters never appear in daylight and that any effort to kill them hasn’t been successful as far as we know. And according to Derek, when you two were in the dream state, they mentioned something called the Mother Tree and one of them had a tattoo of a five-fold-knot. We also know they are warded off by burning sage."

"Oh, I get where you're going with this," Jonah plopped down onto several cushions and crossed his legs. "Sage is their garlic… right?"

"What?" Esme frowned, lost in translation.

"Because vampires can't stand garlic. So if these hunters are some type of vampires, then sage is their garlic," Jonah said excitedly. "Oh, oh, oh, does that mean that we have to whittle stakes to kill them?"

“They do suck people’s essences out of their body, don’t forget that,” Peter added dryly.

Jonah’s eyes went large and his jaw dropped, “Woah! Maybe they are vampires.”

"That's all well and good, Speedy, but that's not what I was getting at," Maggie patted his back appreciatively. "I was going to say that the Mother Tree is probably a very old Nematon and sage is an ancient ingredient used by druids for centuries, usually to cleanse negative energy and such. Naturally, this led Deaton and I to the legend of the liaths. And they in turn led us to--"

"Now I’m confused," Derek jumped in. "What's a liath?"

Maggie pursed her lips as she thought of the simplest way to explain it to them.

It was Deaton who chimed in this time, "The same way druid emissaries are a force for good and darachs are a force of evil, liaths are those caught in between. They don't really serve any one side."

Esme pulled out a scroll from a stack of papers shoved in the bookcase after Maggie whispered something in her ear. Once it was unrolled, a large portrait of several faces stared back at you from the crumbling paper. You gasped when you saw what looked to be a perfect illustration of Alyster and Astrid and that kitsune -Kaze- from before.

“Are these the guys who attacked you in the church in Mexico?” Maggie’s dark nails scrapped over the paper slightly and the noise made a few of the werewolves in the room cringe.

"That's impossible," Peter chocked on his words as he took a closer step to see the scroll better. "They look exactly as they did in your memories..."

"They haven't aged a day," Liam said in amazement.

"I thought so," Maggie popped her knuckles, bangles sliding down her arm nosily, "That is one of the few remaining iterations of an ancient order known as the Venatores -which Stiles told me you had already figured out thanks to Lydia’s translations. Over the years they’ve been called different names: Order of Osiris, Order of Sagittarius, The Solstice Hunters… it goes on and on. They've been around for thousands of years."

"Why?" you finally spoke, but your voice was shakier than you would have liked. "What do they want?"

Derek's eyes fell on you when he heard the subtle quake in your words, he instinctively took a step closer to you but then stopped himself from moving any closer. That awkward tension was still strong between you two. You dreaded the fact that you'd have to talk about the kiss... eventually.

Markus rubbed your arms to comfort you, it helped but not by much.

Maggie opened her mouth to answer you but couldn't pull through. Having sensed Maggie's distress from trying to answer your question, Esme laced her fingers with hers in a silent act of assurance.

"What is it?" you asked frantically, eyes searching the pile of notes and sketches and open books for any clues. Markus held you fast so you didn't shake like a leaf in front of everyone.

Theo exhaled loudly, his fingers scratching at his eyebrow, "Isn't it obvious. They want what they've always wanted. You. Dead. The real question is why?" He turned his attention back to Maggie, ignoring your distraught expression.

A hush fell over the room and you could see Markus's eyes squint in Theo's direction when you turned to jelly in his arms from dread.

"He's not wrong," Peter mumbled and Derek jabbed his side with his elbow forcing a cough out of Peter’s mouth.

You took in a deep breath and sat down on a chair, head in your hands as you blinked back the image of Alex lying dead on the ground and Scott and Derek being cornered by the hunters. Your life was turning out to be one great big nightmare, and right now you were beginning to resent the fact you hadn't gone with Alyster. With that thought, a tingle returned to your lips and you were reminded of the kiss. It brought with it a bitter-sweetness that kept you grounded while your thoughts bounced all over the place. You felt like you were going insane.

As though to shift the focus and clear the stale air, Deaton pushed a large, musty-smelling book towards the group and flipped it 180 degrees. His finger tapped on an illustration of an intricate compass that looked to be hundreds of years old. "Is this the device that the man -Alyster- had around his neck?"

You studied the detailed drawing and then nodded weakly, "Yeah, that's it. What is it?"

"It's called the Oculus. It grants the wearer an ability to wield the Wadjet, it is more popularly known as the--"

"Eye of Horus," Markus interjected, brows knit in thought. A few people shot him surprised looks and he just shrugged them off with a nonchalant: "I have a masters in history."

"That's right," Deaton affirmed. "Horus is associated with protection from evil spirits and he is usually depicted as a falcon, hence the reason why this Alyster's eyes change when he activates the Oculus."

"So now we're fighting ancient Egyptians? I--" Liam plopped down next to Jonah and just stared blankly at the floor. "Can someone just run us by the SparkNotes version or...?"

Esme laughed and sat atop the table with one leg dangling over the air, "You gotta brush up on your storytelling skills, hon." she smiled at the very exhausted Maggie.

Deaton cleared his throat before throwing his hypothesis out for everyone to ponder, “I think this amulet gives him the ability to track and locate the Order’s targets. I also think it’s used as an anchor to a much more powerful source of magic.”

Maggie jumped in on Deaton’s bandwagon and started breaking down what everyone knew, "Okay, so from what Stiles found out, we know that these hunters have some sacred mission linked to all their killing. We now also know they're older than dirt so… that's a plus because there’ll be a trail left behind somewhere. What we didn't know before was, just as Theo put it, why they do what they do. Until now."

Maggie placed a book identical to the one Stiles had been trying to translate in the bunker days prior, “According to this text, the Order was established by a group of druids, liaths and darachs alike. A few hundred years ago a plague nearly wiped out all shapeshifters on earth -that's why our numbers are so low despite how long we've been around. Those that were immune stopped presenting the ability to shift. Those who contracted the plague were killed by the Order. It was called the First Coming of the End of Days. The sacred duty of the Order -or Venatores- was to try and prevent a second coming. The druids on this council feared that the plague would one day return, and so they created these hunters using the sacred power stored inside the oldest focal point of concentrated magic in their village. A Nematon. And since Nematon’s have a tendency to influence the formation of telluric currents, we believe that’s where the Oculus comes into play. We think after they absorb someone’s essence, the Oculus channels that energy into the earth and sends it somewhere else using telluric currents.”

Peter ran a hand through his face, his jaw muscles tensing, "Oh for the love of- So far, all you've told us is that these hunters are very old, very unkillable and very specific in choosing their victims. None of that helps us in any way. I want to know how to kill them, and if we can't, I'd like the quickest route to the airport please." He flashed a forced smile and everyone collectively sighed.  

"Scott, how do you feel about all this, you've been quiet during this whole thing," Derek ignored Peter's outburst and placed his focus on Scott, who looked to be in his own little world.

Scott stretched and turned his head up to regard everyone's inquisitive gazes, "Honestly, my whole life has been one impossible thing succeeding another and another… So what if they're vampires or if they're supposedly the first warning sign of the end of days. A few days ago, Monroe was our biggest worry, now she's dead and her numbers are cut in half. That's one crisis averted. Things have a way of balancing themselves out. We just have to maintain cool heads until they do."

Stiles paced about the room before clapping his hands together at the prospect of a new idea dawning over him, “Uh, hey, Maggie, you got a map that displays telluric currents?”

Maggie moved about the room in a hurry, but it was Markus that came to the rescue, “Here,” he handed Stiles a map he had grabbed from a trunk. “Telluric currents were a passion project of mine. I’m a bit of a nerd for this stuff.”

Stiles slapped Markus’s large arms in thanks and winced before flicking his hand at the wrist several times, “Ow, what do they feed you?”

“Kibble,” Markus joked dryly. “Why the map?”

“I’m thinking if we spot any major changes between the data on this map and a more recent one, we can determine whether this Oculus theory is accurate and maybe plot out where the fluctuations lead to,” Stiles fumbled with the map until he gave up and handed it to Scott who unfolded it with ease.

"That just might work…” Markus looked over your shoulder, his attentions shifted onto the piece of paper in front of you. “What are you drawing?"

You furrowed your brows, confused by his question and then looked down to where his eyes were focused. On the page were several pened drawings of a bow and shank of a key without a bit. To your surprise, you had been scribbling the symbol from the car ride over and over.

"I… I didn't know I was doing it," you sat up from the chair and dropped the pen like it had burned you.

"I know this symbol. Professor Tennyson ran a class on semiotics. That's the Ankh. The Egyptian symbol of life," Markus finished the symbol by drawing a line that intersected between the bow and shank of the key.

"Okay, but that doesn't explain why I'm drawing random symbols without thinking it..." you looked to everyone in the room and saw Stiles raise his hand. ”Stiles?"

"Ah, yeah, so I was possessed once by an evil kitsune's spirit and that would sometimes cause me to do things I didn't remember doing," he shoved both his hands in his pockets and started rocking on the balls of his feet, lips pressed tightly together when he noticed Jonah's jaw practically fall to the ground.

Everyone in the room took a tentative step back or inched away from you. You rolled your eyes at their behaviour.

"I'm not possessed. I think I'd know if I was possessed," you bit back.

"I'm pretty sure that's not how that works," Liam chimed in, his words muffled by his curled hand placed on his chin and lips.

"Maybe its residual magic from when Alyster was inside your head," Esme said casually as she took a bite of an apple.

"Alyster was in your head?" Markus repeated in shock. "How? When? How? And why didn't you say anything?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was under the impression that everyone heard my conversation with Esme and Maggie a few nights ago," you glared at Derek. "Seeing as how I live in a house full of werewolves with supernatural hearing."

Peter coughed again, but this time it was to hide his grin and laughter. Derek opened his mouth to say something but Deaton's busy hands rustling through papers and books garnered everyone's attentions away from the two of you.

"What are ya thinking?" Maggie asked him.

"I think Esme is right, and I think there's a pattern we aren't seeing," he answered.

"What pattern?" Scott moved closer to the table.

"Semiotics," Deaton smiled when he pulled up an encyclopaedia. "First, Alyster mentioned a Mother Tree. Then we find out that the hunters are the closest thing to immortal as we can get and now Y/N is unknowingly sketching the Ankh of all thing. Do you see it yet?”

“These are all three very different things,” Liam nodded.

“N-no… They are all linked by one semiotic message. Life,” Deaton said, his finger pointing into the air stiffly like he was giving a powerpoint presentation. “Every spell draws power from somewhere. All magic is just an exchange of energy.”

“So what if they’re killing people for fuel?” Derek posited, stepping closer to you and the table.

“Why don’t we just ask one of them?” Theo’s bored tone swept through the room.

Stiles squinted at him, “What? Just stroll up to them and ask one of them to come over for tea and crumpets?” he retorted sarcastically.

“No, I mean like set a trap, kidnap them and then try different methods of murder until one of them sticks,” he stated morbidly.

Jonah swallowed loudly and hid half his face behind a pillow, “That sounds mean.”

“It doesn’t count if they’re immortal,” Theo smirked.

Esme lobbed her apple at his face, some of its fleshy interior broke off and showered around Theo’s feet in juicy sprays. He wiped the residual bits off with his jackets sleeve and a sour face.

“Don’t fill his head with such things. You aren’t helping. Out!” Esme pointed to the door and Theo lifted his hands defensively as he strode out confidently.

“Can I leave too, or are we only handing out hall passes if we say insensitive things?” Peter pointed to Theo’s retreating form. “Because, let me tell you, I have so man—“

 Esme lobbed another apple but Peter’s quick reflexes caught in just before it touched his nose. He crushed the apple in his hands and made quite the show of it, “I take it that was a no?”

“Stop being an ass, Peter. Otherwise, the next thing someone throws at you will be a stake,” Derek spoke over his shoulder without looking up from the map Stiles had laid down.

“A stake…” Peter glanced at Jonah and then back up at Derek’s back. “The kid was onto something!”

“W- Who me?” Jonah bounced on the couch, happy to be included in the discourse. “About what? Vampire stakes?”

Peter rose a brow and said, “Yes.”

No one moved an inch, the only sound in the room was the passing of wind and Stiles flipping map pages like he was ripping rice paper apart.

“Think about it,” Peter wiped his hands on Scott’s shirt and Scott simply sighed. “Maybe 'vampire' isn’t the most far off explanation after all. I mean… what if we need a very specific weapon to kill these hunters? Maggie said that they were created using magic from a Nematon. And Deaton thinks the Oculus is used to traverse through telluric currents -Hell, I bet that’s how they travel so quickly too!- Maybe we need a piece of the thing that made them, to kill them!”

Esme worked her back muscles before begrudgingly siding with Peter, “I hate to say this, but maybe the ass is right.”

“Well that’s just rude,” Peter complained. “But at least you can see the obvious genius in my explanation. And look at that, I didn’t even take a whole morning to explain things to everyone.”

Markus rubbed his eyebrows, “So we find this tree and…”

“I found it! I found the spot where the telluric lines converge!” Stiles cheered by himself, fist-pumping in the air. Jonah joined along too figuring it was the more appropriate thing to do in this situation. Then Stiles’s face fell and he swore under his breath as he looked over the map on his phone and the one of the table.

Derek sighed, his teeth clenching in disappointment, “It’s in Sweden.”

The room collectively groaned.

“Well we can scratch that off the list because there’s no way we’d be able to go all the way to Sweden and back before the hunters murder everyone,” Peter sat on the windowsill looking defeated. “Come to think of it, why haven’t they found us yet? It’s been days. Last time it took them mere hours to find us after we’d crossed the border into Mexico.”

Maggie was chewing a biscuit and had to dry swallow most of it to answer him, “We’ve been taking turns burning sage pales around the property's border. I’m surprised you haven’t smelt it.”

“I just thought that was the usual smell around here,” Peter mumbled snidely.

“Actually, I don’t think we have to go very far to get what we need,” Deaton stated. “Most Nematon’s come from the same root. In theory, all we have to do is head back to Beacon Hills to get what we need.”

“Then I guess we’re going back to Beacon Hills,” You stood from the chair, spine groaning from being stretched too suddenly. “If you want to test out your stake theory, you’re going to need bait.”

“It’ll be dangerous,” Derek protested in a dark voice.

“Then you’ll just have to protect me. Like you promised,” you spoke with confidence.

“Shotgun!” Peter said loudly with a mischievous wink sent Derek’s way.

It didn’t take long for a plan to be formed. Soon after everyone was familiar with their roles, they all broke off to start packing up.

You had started packing up some of the clothes you’d found in your old drawers. You didn’t know why you were doing this but it seemed to help, it kept your mind busy. Markus, Esme and Maggie had argued for you to stay home and let everyone else handle everything, but in the end, they were left with no option but to concede. Even though it was dangerous, you were right, the plan wouldn’t work if you stayed behind.

Maggie gave you a pendant with a hollow locket filled with sage essential oils so you could stay shielded from the Order during your drive back. There was a spot on your chest that always got a little oily if the necklace stayed still for too long. You made a habit of wringing the charm along the silver chain in between still moments.

There was a rap at your door and you started from your thoughts, “Come in.”

It was Derek.

“Got a minute?” he asked from behind the ajar door.

“All I’ve got are minutes.”

He hummed before walking in and closing the door behind him, affording himself some privacy, “I wanted to talk to you about--“

“The kiss,” you said simply.

“Yeah, listen, it was a spur of the moment thing. It was a heated argument and you were so stubborn that I felt like I couldn’t get a word in,” Derek tried to explain while his hands fidgeted.

“Right. It was the only thing you could think to do.”

“Yes!” His eyes lit up.

“Like in the dreamscape…”

“Yes!” then his eyes grew serious and his cheeks went hot. “Wait, that’s not what I was getting at…”

You laughed, stuffing more clothes into your bag, though at this point the only thing left were baby booties and torn towels, “Relax Derek. I’m not going to eat you. As long as you don't make things awkward, I won't make things awkward.” You joked.

He held you steady and stared you dead in the centre of your eyes, you shivered again, your lips going numb as they remembered what it felt like to have Derek's lips over them.

“Look, I came here to tell you… It was a mistake, for me to have kissed you… in that way. I promise I won’t do it again,” he released his grip from your arms and you felt an odd sense of disappointment at having heard those words.

Derek pulled the door handle and before he stepped out of your room, he whispered, “Not until you ask me to.”

Your knees caved in and you crashed onto your bed. You didn’t know what to say or think or feel. You were left feeling dazed again. It was turning into a force of habit now. But behind your fear and uncertainty, behind your broken heart that still mourned Alex, you felt a glimmer of warmth spread through you. It felt like molten sunshine. Bright and happy.

As the sensation spread, you fought the sudden urge to smile in spite of all the devastation you had faced –and were about to face.

Next Chapter>>

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