#handling puberty quite… okay?

[beebox-illustrations]

Puberty is hard … especially if your kid’s a metamorphmagus!

Have a nice Sunday ✨🌻💚

[thebibliosphere]

Wait, is Jason in Gotham Knights body horror? Because it doesn't feel like his body even tho he's controlling it? (He died, he came back, it's not the same and never will be)

Or is it more analogous to puberty and feeling like you don't know anything about your body anymore?

Just having thoughts about that boy again

I think Jason in Gotham Knights is very much connected with his physical body. It's his biggest weapon, possibly more so than his guns, given his lasting connection to the Lazarus Pit and the power it gives him.

His backstory talks about building himself up to peak physical condition into the absolute unit he is now, and you can either see that as someone trying to reconnect with their physical self or someone vowing never to be small or weak again.

I tend to think of it as both. It's a reclamation of his physical form but also a transformation into something bigger and stronger that ensures he's the scariest, meanest-looking mother fucker in the room. Basically someone you can't underestimate as a threat.

(Try not to think too hard about the fact that he now largely resembles Bruce in stature, that he is now the group's heavy hitter, the most menacing and the most likely to strike fear into the heart of his opponents, and that Jason molded himself into the person he needed to be rescued by as a child. Don't do it. Do not. I am normal about this.)

But he obviously struggles with feeling present mentally sometimes.

You'll see him zoning out occasionally, touching the J-shaped scar on his face before violently shaking himself back into the present.

He has panic attacks while playing a dance video game with a coffin in it—a coffin his character becomes trapped in because he's not moving fast enough. (hello, trauma)

He's angry all the time and so relieved when Barbra expresses her own rage at something because, yes, finally, someone else is letting their emotions out instead of bottling it up (Dick).

His emails are littered with orders for self-help books, emails from his therapist moving his sessions around, and concerned messages from his friends (Roy comes to mind) saying if he needs to get out of Gotham, they'll make it happen.

Alfred holding him while he sobs over losing Bruce still breaks me every time. I have to pause the game and walk around my house until I feel normal again.

And then there's the cut scene where Dick asks, "Hey, remember that time we all [insert funny thing here]," and Jason admits, somewhat angrily, that no, he doesn't because Lazarus took entire swaths of memories from him and he hates how he can't connect with people the way he used to and he hates the way they all look at him (the way Dick is looking at him now) when he admits he doesn't remember something they clearly loved about the old him: the version of him who didn't have volatile mood swings or made people flinch when he did something as mundane as handle a kitchen knife -- the undead monster he came back as*.

The fact that Dick then contrives to recreate this memory so Jason can be included in a newer version of it -- while also giving him what is arguably a weapon -- fucks me up every time. Dick just yeets a kitchen knife at him, trusting that Jason will catch it, and then just steamrolls over Jason's rightful 'what the fuck' expression with "Hey, we're making food. Get dicing."

And Jason knows what they're all doing. He's aware of it, and he gets the teeniest, tiniest smile before smothering it out. Except he can't quite. He's still smiling as he chops the vegetables. And yes, they're all hopeless at cooking compared to him, and he knows he's going to end up taking over, but that's okay. Because this is for him. He gets to control it.

And that's how Jason gets to make a new memory, one where he is handed a weapon and gets to turn it into a genuine expression of nurturing and care.

Because he does care about them. He wouldn't conspire with Dick to bake Barbara's favorite childhood cookies if he didn't. He wouldn't try so hard to be gentle with Tim triggering the shit out of him while he's struggling with his grief. He just doesn't always know how to express it because he doesn't always know what he's feeling.

Is his anger valid? Or is this Lazarus Pit Rage? Is he being overly sensitive because of his trauma, or is everyone else underreacting because of their trauma? (Should he sign them all up for therapy, quite probably, yes.)

So, you could perhaps argue that Jason experiences body horror in the sense that he doesn't remember all the pieces of who he used to be. (Speaking as someone with severe memory loss from medical trauma, it's certainly a type of horror.) But I don't think it's because he's detached from it physically or doesn't feel in control of his body. I think it's his mind that worries him.

His body he can control. It's his mind that still sparks green sometimes.

---

*Re the scene with Tim when Tim calls the Talons monsters. "What about me? Do you think I'm a monster?"

No, they don't.

But Jason does. And it scares him shitless.

[captain-joongz]

I hope you are feeling well and eating well. I wish you to always be healthy. I am writing this with great shame right now. This may be perversion, but it is funny and that's how it is. I think you are the best person to handle this issue on this platform. 🫠

To be honest, my bias is Soobin and I had thoughts floating around in my mind for the past few days. You can apply it to the other members too<3. Soobin and I have been together for a long time and have been together many times, but we promised each other 1 month before the wedding not to even masturbate. We had difficult requests etc. The wedding day was pretty normal, but our honeymoon bag was changed by our close friends and it contains all kinds of garters....

hello baby, thank you for trusting me with this request! i hope that i was able to deliver what you wanted <3 i am so sorry for the delay with the answer, though, i promise to do better next time!

i'm having fun with these, and wedding seems to be a recurring theme of Soobin's stans 👀

warnings: unprotected sex, making out, mentions of masturbation, dirty talk, lingerie

the idea came to the two you quite easily, it was even super easy to agree to it - a month, that's nothing right? it's not like you can't handle having no orgasms or having sex with the love of your life, right?

right...

it started off okay. giddy and full of anticipation and excitement, you both giggled at each other like two high-schoolers, giving each other eyes and pursing lips, the understanding that nothing was to happen running between you. and it was fine

it was fine

you didn't talk about it with Soobin in depth, but honestly, you started breaking after the first week. the month before was the most stressful part and you found yourself begging for some easy fun in the sheets with your fiance, your body heating up and thrumming anytime you two were close. but Soobin looked completely unaffected, so you didn't want to be the one to bring it up. yes, if given the chance you'd probably be fucking him or yourself like three times a day just to fucking cope with the wedding stress, but you could do it

until like the middle of week two, then you realised that you really couldn't. but both you and Soobin were so damn competitive and you wouldn't be the first to buckle - and you saw the cracks in Soobin's unbothered persona. you saw his hands clenching when you walked around in shorts, the way his eyes would catch on your nipples anytime you walked by in only your tank top

he would suddenly turn more serious, speak less and focus solely on you in that way that you knew he'd be balls deep already if it wasn't for the promise. the stupid annoying no good promise that was starting to drive you up the wall

week three and you'd start to slip - hands would start to linger, eyes would wander more. both of you had a hard time focusing and you were so fucking tense you felt like dying. the need to just jump onto a cock and make yourself cum over and over again was making you insane and you were barely holding on anymore

and the only thing that kept you in lane was seeing Soobin struggle just as much. you swore the man had to wait out more awkward uncomfortable boners in these past three weeks than he had to through his whole puberty, and it was funny at the beginning before you became too desperate and even the faint outline of his hard cock was enough to make you wetter than a fucking bathroom sink

you were ready to throw in the towels, but that would be giving up and you two didn't do that

not even when you lost control and your innocent little kiss quickly spiralled into a heated make-out that ended with you humping your fiance like a fucking dog before he pushed you off with a pained whine. you both were fine

thank god the last few days before the wedding were so crazy and packed with activities you barely had the time to think about the sorry state of your love life, but your body didn't forget - the buzz was there, under your skin, making you feel like you were losing your mind. and combined with the anxiety from the planning it was turning you into a jumpy nervous wreck. you needed it, you needed it bad

the rest came in a blur, the wedding was beautiful and you spend the whole day happy crying, drinking with your friends and family, and dancing with your now husband. the hungry looks you two were sending each other were not lost on everyone, but of course you'd be excited for tonight, so they only shrugged it off with smiles and laughs. they had no idea...

at least you thought they didn't, until that night you finally turned in and after much screaming, laughing and wolf whistling made your way back to your wedding night suite. and now, you were looking at what you thought was your bag with your usual toiletries and a tasteful pretty sheer white night gown. what wasn't in your bag was the deep red lacy lingerie, garters and black pumps that you were currently looking at

what in the fresh hell??

after checking through the bag a couple times, trying to make sure it was really meant for your and it wasn't by accident dropped off here by some confused guest (if so, they were planning to have a hell of a night, god damn), but it was your bag, only different contents

the mystery got solved when a text came to your phone. did you find the bag? it was from your best friend and you started to realise what had happened. have fun tonight after your little ban ;)

embarrassed, you didn't even want to answer. your bff was the only person you shared this little secret with, but she probably roped in your other friends so they would help her switch your bag. in your mind you were cursing her, but your hands were already going through the contents again with barely contained interest. well, it was already here... and it would look extremely good... why not?

dragging the bag into your bathroom to change quickly before Soobin came in from the outside where he was still talking with his family, you carefully tore yourself out of your wedding dress (not easy, turns out) and started untangling the delicate lacy undergarments

when Soobin entered the room, it was still empty. his mind was racing with the possibilities, and he knew that after a month of complete abstinence with the occasional excitement when you two lost control, he probably wouldn't last longer than a few minutes with the accumulated lust that was already making him hard. but he had a whole night, didn't he?

hearing the bathroom door open, the excitement surged in him and he braced himself to turn. he knew you'd get something pretty to wear, but upon turning seeing you in a deep red lacy set complete with garters and black tights and heels, it was like his whole world spun and he was suddenly dizzy with desire

you barely had two seconds to take in the absolutely ravenous look in his eyes before he was on you - he moved so fast you didn't even catch it with your eyes. one moment he was standing by the bed and the next he was grabbing you and prying your mouth open with his tongue

the kiss was filthy and fast, overwhelming you in mere moments before you were thrown back onto the bed, back hitting the soft bedding and bouncing lightly, and Soobin quickly climbing on over you to kiss you more until your lips were wet and sticky with drool

"are you actually trying to kill me, baby? already want to collect my life insurance?"

he'd throw out little remarks between your moans, nipping your lips, biting your neck, hands running over your whole body and catching onto the lingerie, pulling strings to snap them back onto your skin, to feel you tense and clench under him as you cried for him

"fuck, i need to fuck you right now, i promise i'll be slow and loving later, baby"

and that's how you found yourself falling apart on his cock seconds later, Soobin barely undressed with his shirt open and tie hanging between you, pants and underwear pushed just under his ass, your legs forced apart as far as they could go with your panties only pushed to the side so he could easily slide into your pink wet cunt and fuck it with reckles abandon

both of you were so turned on you couldn't even speak anymore, Soobin grunted above you as his hips rolled smoothly into you and hit your sweet spot effortlessly, and you lied under him completely boneless, just hungrily taking the pleasure his cock was providing for you, high-pitched whimpers and moans falling out freely. you heard the quiet rapid squeaks of the bed as your bodies bounced on with the motions, you heard the rush of your blood as your climax ruthlessly approached until you were screaming, the bliss taking over and cunt clenching

you both came at the same time, the orgasm that barrelled through you forcing you to tense up as your back arched, and Soobin's cock got mercilessly squeezed until he was spurting his cum deep into you, groans being punched out of him with the force of it

"don't worry baby, i didn't take anything off, so i can still take a nice look at you with my cum trickling down your thighs"

you had a long night ahead of you, and you were going to enjoy every damn second of it

divider by @cafekitsune

[thearchercore]

As a Lando fan, but first and foremost a Max and Charles fan, I’m quite disappointed in Lando. It’s true what they say, not everyone is happy when you are on top and your real friends show their true colours.

You are right, Max says what he thinks and never filters it. While Charles is a PR King (let’s be honest he’s more of a princess but that’s besides the point) but never once has he thrown shade at Max since they became friends (at least not that I know of)

Now, Daniel is not, has never been and will never be someone about him. Nothing against him, just vibes. But the fact that Max has held him so dear and close to his heart and he goes ahead and throws major shade at Max when Max was being nothing but honest at Vegas then makes sure to hang out with Lando during Winter break the other driver who is Max’s publicly known bestie on the grid (I mean the man even attends P’s birthday parties) anyway I digress. It’s just outright shady and childish.

Max is on another level and not everyone will understand that. True friendship should withstand such challenges. Of course anyone would be jealous and intimidated by such dominance and success but to deny the man like Peter denying Jesus infront of the crowd is just sad. I mean c’mon, did he mean it as a joke? Also was Daniel attempting humour? It’s possible but I can’t see someone like Charles making such weird comments. Even when they were beefing, Charles made it known that him and Max are okay and even though they are not best friends their relationship or hang out outside the paddock (back then things are different now) he still loved racing against Max because they understood each other and how they raced.

It’s actually petty for grown men to belittle their friend because of his success. But what do I know, the sport destroyed a childhood friendship (Nico + Lewis) Maybe only the realest and toughest friendships survive. Viva Charles and Max (whether you ship them or as friends) it’s real and they are always rooting for each other.

Sorry this got long.

yeah, i feel like the difference between daniel's current place in f1 and max's is playing a significant factor. again, max joined RBR when he was essentially still a teenager that was battling with puberty. daniel was there as the mature driver that max looked up to.

now, fast forward to 2024, daniel is fighting for his last chance at f1 after many unsuccessful team moves, and max is much more mature and has 3 WDC titles under his belt. that certainly changes things.

so i'm sure that if for whatever reason rbr kicks out checo and daniel jumps in, their dynamic would be different.

lando, on the other hand, is a different story. @tsarinablogs had a great post where someone suggested "I think Lando couldnt handle his car actually being competitive. Thats what weakened their friendship. It’s easy to be friends when you are driving a slow car, but then the car actually got competitive and he still couldnt beat Max."

again, the truth is -- f1 is a highly competitive environment and everyone will fight for themselves first without a doubt. that's what's happening with daniel and lando. daniel wants that red bull seat, lando wants to beat max. and that is going to be their priority over whatever friendly relationship they may have with max.

on the other hand, there are only 20 drivers in f1 so you have 20 other co-workers who share the same experiences as you. so you will always be closer to them than anyone else because no one would get you that well.

i think what works well currently between max and charles is that no matter how much media tried to put them against each other, they alway showed mutual respect to each other. charles never talked shit about max in press, and the overall vibe they have going on recently is that charles is happy for max's success, and is working hard to gain his own. also their actions speak a lot -- like charles' putting aside ferrari's questionable qatar strategy and rushing to congratulate max on his WDC. or max running to charles to apologise for his mistake in vegas.

their relationship doesn't seem to be definined by their racing results, and their joint racing history also makes them more equal in their own eyes than other drivers.

[lying-on-floors]

Ymir and Marco sibling headcanons:

Ymir is 2 years older than Marco

They're very close, like twins

They got matching undercuts when Marco turned 18. Ymir said it was a "right of passage" because she didn't want to admit that she wanted to match hair with her little brother before he left for college, even though it was only 2 hours away.

Speaking of college, Ymir visits him as often as she can, she'll pick him up from class and they'll go out to eat or to the mall or something, just to spend time together.

Ymir lovingly teases him for his taste in men, especially since he's currently dating Jean, his best friend since middle school, but she can't really talk because she's always been a simp for Historia.

Historia sets up double dates for herself, Ymir, Marco and Jean.

They were both called freckles by their cousin because he genuinely could not tell them apart for the longest time. Eventually, he was able to realize who was who.

They both tan very easily but their respective partners DO NOT.

Ymir always protected Marco from bullies and he would always treat any wounds she got.

Ymir is openly a little shit and it surprises people that Marco and her are siblings because they seem so different, but catch Marco on an off day, and he sounds just like her, profanity and all.

Ymir taught Marco to wrestle and fight growing up. He could easily knock out anyone who tried him, but he chooses not to.

Ymir and Marco has matching braided yarn bracelets they made as kids.

When Marco told Ymir that he and Jean were dating, she said "finally" and threatened Jean to not hurt her brother. He mentally shit himself, he was so scared.

Marco is one of the people Ymir respects and would do anything for.

Marco will call anyone out on their bs and Ymir will back him up. Marco is the talk and Ymir is the walk.

They're both kind of bitchy.

Ymir was always taller than Marco growing up but once theh hit puberty, they pretty much evened out their heights. Until, Marco grew a few inches during his Junior year. She was stuck at 5'8 and Marco shot up to 6'0.

Marco joked about majoring in law and order and becoming a criminal defense lawyer so he could keep her out of life jail sentences. He majors in forensic science instead, with a focus on criminal psychology.

Ymir is a housewife to Historia and she is quite happy. Marco teases her about it bc Ymir used to always claim, "no one will tether me to house work," yet, her she is. Turns out she's okay with being a home maker as long as it's with her lesbian lover.

Ymir and Marco made a sideshow to convince their mom to get them a dog when they were little. It worked. They got a golden retriever puppy and named her "Bowie," because she had a bow on her collar.

Marco had a situationship gone bad when he was a freshman in high school. Ymir enlisted the help of Jean to get revenge.

Ymir and Marco share their closets back home. People think they have matching shirts or sweaters but no, they just steal em from one another, back and forth.

Marco got called "brace face" one time in middle school and Ymir beat the kids ass so bad that he had to get braces. She was suspended and sent to anger management, but no one bothered Marco again. Anyone who did would be unfortunate.

Marco got into a fight one time and beat the guys ass so bad. He didn't even let him get up. Ymir was so proud.

Marco and Historia have "scary guard dog privileges" during their outingd with Jean and Ymir, but they can handle themselves just fine.

Marco had Reiner as a classmate in his English class during high school and Ymir bullied him so bad because he used to date Historia, before she came out as a lesbian, that is. Marco feels bad because he only had two friends and Marco is just a sweet guy.

Jobs Ymir quit = Jobs Ymir got fired from. She would tell Marco what places were worth applying for and which ones weren't.

They have the same nervous twitch. [Scratching under their right ear]

They're both not leaders, but they are good at organizing, revolts in Ymir’s case, and general crowds in Marco's case.

Ymir used to do ballet. She still does, but only in her spare time.

Marco taught himself to play electric bass because he had a crush on Pete Wentz, Fall Out Boys bassist.

Marco and Ymir are both huge into civil rights and are advocates.

Marco is good at comforting people, and Ymir is not. It's a running inside joke between them that no one else gets.

They watched Little Miss Sunshine together when it came out and they sobbed during it.

The AU

More headcanons

The siblings

[dickgraysonwayne]

Underneath

Ao3

Summary: Agent 37 seems familiar, but nah…he couldn’t be.

@dickgraysonweek 2024, Day 5: Dick (Helen) of Troy | Batfam Meets Agent 37 | Polyamory

Jason fucking hates Tuesdays.

Fuckin’ Tuesdays, he stews, kicking a can at his feet. Fuckin’ Batman. Fuckin’ drug dealers. Fuckin’…

“Hey,” Tim says, adjusting his baseball cap over his forehead. “Are you blaming Tuesdays again?”

“No,” Jason grunts. He doesn’t make eye contact. “Aren’t you annoyed, though? That we had to come all the way here…”

Tim shrugs, all smarmy-like. “Hey,” He says. “I get to miss school this way, so. I’m not too bothered.”

“But,” And Jason gestures around the alley they’re in. The mist hands low over his face, leaving him with a permanent vaguely damp feeling. “We’re not even in Gotham.”

“So?” Tim says. “I like travel. Anyway, it’s not even that different from Gotham…”

“We’re not even in the country anymore!” Jason hefts his backpack on his shoulder, irritation growing.

“Dude,” Tim says, summarily unimpressed. “What’s with you? So we do a little trip to the UK to investigate some drug operation Scarecrow’s running. What’s wrong with that?”

“I just…” Jason’s face screws up, pushing back at the memories in his head: the heat, the exhaustion, the pain. “I…I don’t like travel. That’s all.”

Tim sighs. “Well,” He says. “You better pull yourself together. Unless you wanna tell Babs you’d rather come back home and not do the mission she asked you to do? Or Bruce?”

“No need to go that far,” Jason mutters

“And,” Tim says. “Do you want to take shit from Damian about not being able to handle a ‘simple fact finding mission’ that even a ‘fool’ could complete?”

“That one,” Jason says, shrugging. “I don’t particularly care about.”

“Well, I do,” Tim says. He looks through the alleyway grimly before pushing forward. “So let’s go. The sooner we’re done, the sooner we come back anyway. So. We headed in the right direction?”

Japan glances back down at the phone in his hand. “Yeah,” He says. “Building should be showing up soon. It’s a bakery, top floor.”

Tim nods. “Okay then,” He says. “Plan confirmed?”

“Reconnaissance,” Jason drones out. “Get a sense of the operation and get out. Yeah. I know.”

“No tipping them off,” Tim says sternly. Jason hears a tinge of Bruce-inspired gravitas in his tone. It’s not quite as effective in a just-hit-puberty vocal range. “I mean, we can probably develop something to counteract the drug now, but still…don’t risk it.”

Jason grins. “Aye aye, Captain.”

He can practically feel Tim’s glowering frown. “Hey,” He says. “Why do you always—” He pauses. “Oh. Hear that?”

“Oh, yes,” Jason says, the feeling of being watched prickling over his back. “Think they’ll attack?”

“Well,” Tim says. “They’re still following, so.”

Jason nods. “Yeah,” He says. “Get ready..”

He barely has time to pull out a weapon before all hell breaks loose.

-

“I. Fucking. Hate. Tuesdays!”

Jason rolls, dodging a sword (a sword?) that clangs heavily against the cobblestones of the alleyway.

He looks up. A veritable gang of people seem to have rolled up on them in the last couple minutes, all outfitted in the same dark outfit and face covering.

They’d been ready for them. This is an ambush.

“Stop it with the Tuesday thing already,” Tim says, whacking a man around the head with his staff. “It’s obnoxious at this point.”

“You’re obnoxious at this point,” Jason kicks another man in the chest, then zaps someone else with an escrima stick. “You know what else is obnoxious? Not having a fucking gun.”

“I guess you—oomph—missed the point of a covert operation,” Tim says, staggering back at an attack, but recovering quickly.

Jason, about to go help him, is stopped by three attacking him at once. “This look covert to you?” He asks, zapping at someone else. “And anyway…shit!”

There’s too many people. It’s taking all his concentration to stay alive, stay uninjured, and he senses more than sees someone start to make his way around them, to the vulnerability of his back.

Jason grits his teeth, doing a final large sweep before turning back. “No you don’t—”

But he turns to see a nozzle pointed directly at his face, and stumbles back automatically. “Shit..”

He flips through days worth of research in his head substance distribution memory issues side effects no treatment yet magic involved and holds his breath, swearing internally…

A crossbow bolt suddenly embeds itself in the man’s chest, who gives a kind of choked gasp, shudders, then collapses onto the damp cobblestones, twitching a couple times before going still.

Jason doesn’t have time to react. He whirls back around, lifting a stick to protect himself from a blow to his head. Tim is standing nearby, still fighting, still upright.

He sees another man aim a knife at Tim from behind, then draws in a breath to warn him, before…

A gunshot rings through the air, and the man screams, clutching at his bloody hand and dropping to his knees.

Guns? Jason thinks frantically. He dodges a blow to the head, feeling weirdly vindicated. He draws an arm back, ready to zap another person, before—

A large figure runs in from the side, tackling the person in front of him and taking him both to the ground. They collapse into the shadows, tussling in a smaller alleyway to the side.

“What—”

Jason whirls around back to Tim, and sees someone else jump into the fray next to him. It’s a woman this time: face uncovered, clothing casual, and punches lethal.

Who the hell…

He feels something sting at his shin. His leg buckles, and he swears as he stumbles to his knees, trying to find his bearings.

The sticks drop from his hands and roll, and he dives frantically to try to grab them back. He looks up to see another nozzle aimed at his face, and…

Time slows down. Jason sees the finger on the nozzle tighten, then push, and he knows that there’s no stopping it, that he won’t have time to move backwards or to the side…

Suddenly, he’s looking at a gray t shirt covering a broad back, and it’s so unexpected that he thinks there’s something wrong with his sight at first. Instead, he hears the nozzle being deployed and then a cough, and he knows that it isn’t coming from him, so…

A woman’s voice cries out “You idiot!”

The back in front of him bends, then falls, revealing the startled eyes of the masked man that Jason had been staring at earlier, still holding the spray bottle. This snaps Jason back into movement, and he picks the sticks back up and delivers a hard thwack to the man’s head.

He hears the thrmmm sound of another crossbow bolt, then keeps fighting, mind whirling. He notices almost instantly that the crowd seems to have thinned out, but he doesn’t know if that means that they won or that they lost.

It feels like minutes, but the alleyway empties out, save for a few of the men that they had taken down. The woman with the crossbow stows it away then runs, falling to her knees in front of Jason, pulling at the downed man in front of him.

Tim follows close behind, looking tired, but cautious. Jason nods at him, then waits for Tim’s answering nod.

“So,” Jason says eyeing the duo in front of them. “You think they bulk ordered all those ninja outfits or did they have them laying around?”

Tim gives a tired laugh. “Maybe they got them from the Minion Coat Factory,” He suggests,

“Not your best work,” Jason comments, before the woman gives a loud sigh.

“You idiot,” The woman hisses again to the downed man. She pulls at the man on the ground, who slowly goes upright, head bowed. “What are you doing?”

The man looks up. Jason literally feels the color drain from his face.

“Dick?”

Tim stops in his tracks at the word, drawing a quick, choked breath.

Dick looks him in the eye (it’s him oh my god it’s him it’s him it’s him), and then, with a slight air of confusion, says:

“Who?”

-

Jason’s blood freezes in his veins. “That’s…” His kind is whirring in all sorts of different directions, not knowing where to stop, and how. “That’s…that’s you. That’s you, right? It’s you?”

Dick’s (maybe?) eyebrows furrow. “I…” He says. “No. I’m…” He looks up at the woman with him, who gives him a curious stare. “Who are these people? Do we know them?”

“No,” The woman says, giving him a furtive look. “What’s wrong with you?”

It’s at this point that something in Jason snaps.

He surges forward, grabbing Dick by the shoulders and pulling him close. He stares intently into his face. “It’s you, isn’t it? It’s you. It looks like you. What happened? How is it you?”

Dick’s startled eyes darken quickly. A hand quickly latched onto his wrists and bodily throw him off. “Get off me,” Dick says, voice dangerous. “Don’t do that again.”

“Stop being a dick,” Jason yells, trying to get closer. “What was it? Lazarus Pit? Did it make you forget or something? Did it—”

A hand yank at his shoulder, pulls him back. He startles, looks down and Tim, white-faced and tight lipped, holding onto him for dear life.

“Stop,” Tim says, and it comes out quiet. “This is…look, we don’t know what’s going on, okay? But we need to find out. Obviously.”

Here, the woman with Dick steps in. “We all need to calm down,” She says. “Look. I’ll introduce myself, okay? My colleague,” and here she points at Dick (it’s him!) “And I represent a global organization that specializes in, hm, covert operations, let’s say. I shouldn’t be telling you any of this at all, but,” And here she gives him a searching look. “I have a feeling you would have found out about us either way.”

“I don’t really give a shit,” Jason begins, but Tim squeezes his shoulder tighter.

“Let her continue,” He says quietly. His eyes are fixed on Dick, and his hand is trembling.

“There’s not much more than that, really,” The woman says. “You can refer to me as Matron, and this,” She gestures at Dick. “Introduce yourself.”

Dick nods. “I’m Agent 37,” He says. “I would say pleased to meet you, but…”

“Yes, okay, fine,” Jason says, impatient. “Let me guess. You woke up somewhere and were told that you were this agent guy at this organization and that you’ve always been there, and you rolled with that, right?”

“Hey,” The woman protests, but Dick waves her down.

“No,” Dick says. “That’s incorrect, actually. I’m pretty sure I’ve only ever been Agent 37. That’s just who I am.”

Jason’s eyebrows raise. “Oh yeah?” He says. “Can you tell me anything about your childhood?”

“I…” Dick’s voice trails off. “Why would I tell you that? I don’t know you.”

“Come on,” Jason says. “You very clearly don’t remember a childhood. So what does that tell you? Either you popped into existence as an adult or you’ve been brainwashed in some way. And, since you were fucking dead, my guess would be on a Lazarus Pit.”

“Dead?” Dick asks.

“What the hell is a Lazarus Pit?” Matron says at the same time.

“Fuck it,” Jason says. He grabs at Dick’s arm again. “Come on. Let’s take you home, and we can try to get your memory back. And then when you remember us we can talk for real instead of going in circles like this.”

Dick yanks his arm back again. “I don’t know you!”

“Oh yeah?” Jason says, voice rising. “Then why did you—”

“Let’s talk for a sec,” Tim interrupts, pulling him off to the side. “Stay there, please.”

“What are you doing?” Jason hisses as he’s dragged off. “That’s Dick. You know? Your brother? The one that’s dead? That brother? How are you not…how are you not reacting to this?”

“We don’t know that it’s him,” Tim says, and his voice cracks on the word. “We can’t…we can’t be sure until we can confirm it. And I…I don’t want to say that until…”

Oh. Jason feels kind of bad for snapping. “Hey,” He says. “I get it. But, come on. That’s Dick. It’s very clearly him. And he’s alive and he needs a kick in the ass to remember who he is. And we’re the only ones who can help him.”

Tim sniffs. “Yeah,” He says. “I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right,” Jason says. “Look. This is good news. He’s alive! We just need to get all of him back is all. And this isn’t our first go around with resurrection, right?”

Tim nods.

“Excellent,” Jason turns back to the two agents. “Now. As I was saying. If you didn’t know us, why did you jump in and save us from those guys? There’s no reason to do that for completely random strangers. Especially not for jumping in front of someone who was about to—”

He cuts himself off. “Oh. Hold on. You got hit by…oh my god. Oh we’re so stupid.”

“Oh,” The Matron says, snapping her fingers. “You’re right! The spray. Or whatever that was. That’s probably what’s going on here.”

“What spray?” Tim asks, eyes narrowed.

“I don’t feel any different,” Dick says, but Jason ignores him.

“Dick got sprayed by something during the fight,” He explains to Tim. “And…hey, remember what we came here for? Scarcrow’s whole operation?”

Tim stares at him for a second before understanding fills his gaze. It’s a second longer than it would normally take. “Oh!” He says. And then, quietly, again, “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Jason says grimly. He turns to the other two. “We came here to investigate a drug operation, with some sort of magic involved—it’s a long story. The drugs have a…memory issues side effect. And since Dick here lost his memories after getting hit, then—”

“He must’ve ingested the drug,” Matron continues. Her eyes tighten. “Amateur hour, 37. How do you let yourself get hit like that?”

“I didn’t!” Dick protest. “I…” His eyes glaze over. “I…”

Tim interrupts him. “The memory loss seems targeted,” He says thoughtfully. “His whole sense of self is gone, but he still seems to be able to function like he normally does. He has a persona left, but only his primary identity is gone. This is new, we should look into this more.”

“And get you back,” Jason says, staring Dick down.

“And get him back,” Tim agrees. He gestures towards them. “We probably have a formula that’ll be helpful here, to counteract the drug. And that thing Constantine gave us…Anyway, if you’ll all come with me, we can take you back home and—”

Dick shakes his head, speaking before Tim’s even done. “I can’t leave,” He says. “I have work to do here. I can’t leave.”

“You have to,” Jason cuts in. “You need to get your memory back, don’t you? And then, maybe…” His voice trails off. “We can find out what happened to you.”

“He’s not leaving,” Matron cuts in. “We have resources here you can use. A lab, everything. We’ll take you to HQ: we need the real 37 back, so consider yourselves hired. On a temporary basis.”

“No,” Tim says, voice firm. “All our research…we have everything set up at our base. We can take it from here.”

Dick shakes his head. “I’m not going,” He repeats and man does that stubborn expression look familiar. Jason had thought he was never going to see it again. “I don’t know you.”

Tim looks at Jason helplessly.

Jason sighs. Fucking Tuesdays. “Fine,” she says shortly, then tilts his head to Tim. “You got the folder with all the info? And all the solutions and stuff?”

Tim grits his teeth. “Yeah,” He says. “I do. But—”

“We kinda don’t have a choice, here,” Jason says. He glances at the two agents again. “Fine. Lead the way. We’ll go to your HQ.”

“Right,” Matron grabs Dick’s hand, helping to pull him to his feet. “Follow us. 37, you remember the way?”

Dick nods. “Yeah,” He says, then sets off without another word.

Jason swears under his breath, then rushes to follow, Tim right next to him.

-

It doesn’t take long before Tim breaks.

Jason had known it was coming, had seen it in the twitching of his fingers and the telltale furrow of his brow, so he just waits.

He doesn’t want long before he feels him elbow his arm. “Jason,” Tim hisses, clearly trying to remain out of earshot. “We have a problem.”

“You think?” Jason says, eyebrows raised. “What could’ve clued you into that idea? What, with the drug ninjas and resurrected amnesiac brother?”

“Shut up,” Tim mutters. “Anyway. We probably blew the mission. I’d guess the drug operation’s packing up and leaving as we speak.”

Jason sighs. “Get ready for that earful from Damian.”

“You said you didn’t care about that!”

Jason shrugs. “I lied. He’s a tiny little shrimp and his royal shrimpiness gets soooo smug when he’s right.”

“Yeah,” Tim says, but his heart is clearly not into it. “I guess so.”

Jason waits a little more.

“It’s just that,” Tim begins, voice hesitant. “Dick…he got hit by the memory spray thing right? And he got hit because he was saving us, right?”

Jason nods. “He stepped in front of me,” He says. His throat tightens. “He took the hit.”

“So,” Tim says. “He knew to do that. He knew who we were, before he got sprayed. So…he was alive this whole time. Here. And…and we thought he was dead.”

Jason sits with that for a while. A spike of anger and confusion pools up in his head.

“We thought he was dead,” Jason repeats. “And he’s alive. And…and we don’t know why…”

“But he still…” Tim swallows. “He must’ve known. What that would do. And…and he still did it. Why?”

Jason grits his teeth. He stares at the back of Dick’s head. “We’ll find out soon enough,” He says.

A sign in the distance catches his eye. He squints. “Does that say girls’ school?”

-

“Welcome,” Matron says, sweeping an arm out at the entrance. “To HQ.”

Jason eyes the building, skeptical. “Girls’ school?” He repeats.

Matron shrugs, smiling. “The children are our future, and all that,” She says.

Jason waits for Dick to chime in, make a lame joke, continue the song lyrics…

But he just stands there, face blank, waiting.

Matron gives him a look. “Wow,” She says. “You’re really not yourself, huh?”

“Yeah, like we’ve been saying,” Jason says, a little irritated by her overfamiliarty. “So can we speed this up already?”

“Jason,” Tim hisses, sounding embarrassed.

Matron shrugs. “I’ve had worse,” She says. She leads them through hallways, the sounds of laughing women echoing in the distance. “I just need to take you around—ah. Here we go.”

She stops outside a door with ROOM 84 emblazoned on a large sign stuck to it. She creaks it open then peers in furtively before ushering them in “Come on,” She says.

Dick goes in robotically, without comment. Jason follows, seeing a pretty impressive and fully equipped lab on the inside.

“Huh,” Jason says, looking around. “Nice setup you have here.”

Dick, finally, speaks up. “Are you sure about this?” He asks Matron, with only a hint of doubt in his voice.

“Yes,” Matron says. “We gotta get you back to how you were. And, you know,” She gives him a significant look. “I’m going to need you fully with me for what’s coming.”

Dick’s face clears up. “Ah. Right.”

“You don’t have much time,” She says, backing up towards the door. “Try to get it done quick. I’ll keep watch. Good luck.” She nods, then snaps the door shut.

Tim instantly leaps into work, pulling out his file and starting to decipher it. “I’ll need a while,” Is all he says, before his focus narrows and he zones in on the problem in front of him.

Jason sinks into a straight backed chair. “All we can do is wait,” He feels compelled to tell Dick. “I’m gonna nap, I think.”

Dick’s face is blank. Disturbingly so. He nods.

It disturbs Japan so much that he wants to try to wipe it off. “What do I call you?” He asks him. “Agent? 37? Full name? What?”

A bit of emotion leaks back into Dick’s face. “Agent 37 is fine,” He says. He falls silent again.

“So,” Jason says, trying to goad out the emotion again. “What do you like to do? You have any hobbies, anything like that?”

Dick stays carefully blank. “Not particularly,” He says. “I’m too busy for that.”

“Doing what?”

“Top secret,” Dick replies. “Can’t tell you.”

“Then why were we okay to be let in here?” Jason asks. “You sure didn’t put up much of a fight to take us right into the heart of your operation.”

Dick shrugs. “Matron made that call,” He says. “I followed her lead.”

“Yeah,” Jason says. “But that wasn’t very international man of mystery of you, was it? What do you think that means?”

Dick frowns a little. “Can’t say it means anything,” He says.

Well. He’s just as frustrating without his memories as he is with them. “Then why are you still talking to me?” Jason demands. “What do you gain? Is that what you’re drawn to do? Have you thought about why that is?”

“You’re very angry,” Dick says, looking a little curious now. “Why?”

“Don’t try that on me,” Jason says. “I know you. That won’t work. And anyway, I’m not angry. I just want answers.”

“And I can’t give them to you,” Dick pins him with a searching gaze. “Look. I know it sounds…illogical, but I think you may be right. Maybe I am the guy you say I am, and the gaps in my memory hold the person you’re looking for. But I’m not that guy right now. And I can’t tell you what you want to hear.”

Jason laughs disbelievingly. “You sure about that?” He asks. “You sure sound like him right now.”

“Maybe,” Dick says. “But I’m not him. I’m Agent 37. You’re going to have to wait for this other guy to come back.”

“Hey,”

They both turn. Tun stands there, a glass bottle in his hand. “It’s done. It was mostly done anyway, because of the magic involved, I just added the—never mind. It’s done. You can take it.”

Dick stands up, slowly taking the bottle from Tim’s hand. Tim doesn’t make eye contact, and steps over to Jason’s side as soon as the bottle leaves his possession.

That…that definitely seems like a problem.

“So?” Jason asks. “You ready for the other guy to come back?”

“I…” Dick says. He pushes, drawing in a deep breath.

Jason waits, heart pounding.

Dick breathes out slowly, then says “Okay.”

“What,” Jason says, disbelieving. “Just like that?”

“I guess I trust you,” Dick says. Before Jason can reply, he downs the liquid in one swallow.

-

Jason waits.

Time ticks by, and Dick just sits there, eyes screwed shut.

“What’s wrong with him?” Jason whispers to Tim, eyeing Dick critically.

Tim is so tense he’s about to snap in half. “It probably tastes gross,” He says. “Give it a second. It’ll work. I’m sure it’ll work. Give it a second.”

Jason waits a second. And then another. And then another.

When Dick opens his eyes again, alive, teary, scared, Jason knows. He knows.

He stands up.

“Dick?” Tim asks, voice a tad wobbly. “You back?”

Dick takes a shuddering breath. “Hi guys,” he croaks out. “Long time no see.”

Tim lets out a soft oh noise, then runs toward Dick is one quick motion. He slams into his torso, almost knocking him backward. He wraps Dick in a tight hug, face mashed into the gray t shirt. “You’re alive,” Tim says, voice teary. “You’re…you’re here.”

Dick wraps his arms around Tim, squeezing just as tight. “Yeah,” He says, choked. “I guess I am.”

There’s a part of Jason that wants to join them, to give in to the need to give a hug, to allow a few tears to fall, to let go of that weight on his shoulders.

There’s a bigger part, though, that’s too full of rage to do much of anything else.

Jason crosses his arms. “So,” He says, voice deceptively calm. “Can you explain how you’re alive? When we all saw you die? And why, if you were alive this whole time, you’re here instead?”

Tim freezes, then slowly lets go of Dick, backing up next to Jason.

Dick’s face falls into a devastated expression. He stays silent.

“Dick?” Tim says. His voice is quiet, confused. “Can you answer his question?”

Dick audibly swallows. “I…” He says. “Look. I’m still a little out of it because I just got all my memories back, so—”

“Excuse,” Jason says shortly. “You have your memories back? That means you have your reasons back too. So. Explain.”

Dick sighs. “Look,” He says. “I didn’t want to. I promise you, I didn’t want to. And…and I wanted you to know I was okay. But…I couldn’t. I’m sorry.”

Jason gives a disbelieving laugh. “That’s barely an explanation,” He says. “Total bullshit, to be honest. Did you even die? Or was that a lie too?”

Dick’s voice softens. “No. That was real. It’s just…I didn’t stay that way. Obviously.”

“Obviously?” Jason says, eyebrows raising. “That’s what you have to say right now? Unbelievable.”

Dick raises his hands in surrender. “I didn’t mean it that way,” He says. “I promise. I…I really am sorry, it’s just…”

“How could you?”

And there’s the Tim explosion.

“You knew. You knew how upset we’d be! You knew. And you still let it happen. We mourned you! We…we had to deal with that all by ourselves! Us, and Babs, and Alfred, and Damian—” and here Tim’s mouth clicks shut, a look of horror on his face. “Oh my god. Damian. Do you know?”

Dick actually smiles. “Yeah,” He says, a heavy sort of relief in his voice. “I…I saw him. On the news. I about passed out when I did.”

Shitty way to find out. Jason thinks. But really is there even a good way? Or just a bunch of really bad ways?

“Then you know! How could you?” Tim’s voice is hoarse by now, his volume increasing with every word. “Not to mention what it’s doing to Bruce!”

Dick’s expression flickers, just barely, at Bruce’s name. Jason knows the signs, and knows exactly what that must mean.

“Tim,” Dick says, voice heavy, but Jason doesn’t let him get that far.

“Bruce,” Jason repeats. “He knew, didn’t he.”

Dick makes eye contact with him, and Jason knows that he’s right. “He’s…he’s the one who sent me here.” He says. There’s an air of resignation in his tone, a total surrender to his situation. It’s disquieting, seeing him like this.

“Of fucking course,” Jason mutters. “Let me guess. He saw an opportunity to use your whole situation and he took it. Motherfu—”

“But you went along with it!” Tim bursts out. He’s still angry (so angry) but not as explosive now. “If you didn’t want to, you should’ve just refused! If you really thought it was wrong, you should’ve just said no!”

Dick chuckles darkly. “You’re right,” He says. “I should’ve. That one…that one’s on me. I’m sorry, I really mean it. And if you can’t forgive me, I understand.”

Something’s still off. Jason frowns at him. “You’re telling me you woke up from near death, Bruce asked you to do this, and then you said yes? Just like that?”

Dick hesitates. “Well…”

Jason swears under his breath. “What did he do?” He asks. “To make you go. What did he do?”

Dick shakes his head, disbelieving. “What makes you think he did anything?”

“Because I know you,” Jason says. “And I know him. And that story doesn’t track, for either of you. Unless you went fully dark side and decided to embrace being his perfect little soldier? You’re telling me that you would ever do that, in a million years?”

Tim’s eyes are on him, a slow understanding dawning in his eyes. “Of course,” He says, voice still a little hoarse. “There’s gotta be something more to this. What happened?”

“Look,” Dick begins, voice heavy. “I’ve worked with Bruce a long time. Ever since I was a little kid. There’s certain things with him that I understand, and if he asks this of me, then, well…”

“Bullshit,” Jason repeats. “And what’s with this little kid shit? You were sixteen when you became Robin. Don’t lie more.”

Dick frowns. “No, I was…” He trails off. “I was…was it eight, or ten? I can’t remember.”

Jason frowns. “Huh? What’re you saying?”

“What’s wrong?” Tim demands. “Are you feeling off again? Your memory?”

Dick shakes his head. “Nah,” He says. “Sorry. Anyway. You know how it is. When it’s something really important, it’s important. Like, world-ending important.”

“Was this world-ending important?” Jason asks. He sees the answer clearly on Dick’s face. “Or was this daddy issues important? Or Bruce being a piece of shit important?”

“You lost the metaphor there,” Tim mutters.

“Shut the fuck up,” Jason responds. That’s back to normal, at least. “So. If this wasn’t world-ending important. Then why? Because the Dick I know wouldn’t have let Bruce force him to do anything just because.”

Dick just shakes his head again. He laughs, but it’s hollow. “I didn’t even say anything,” He asks, almost wonderingly. “How do you know this?”

“Because I know you,” Jason says. “Idiot. How many times have I said that already? So? Stop stalling. What happened?”

“You don’t want to know,” Dick says. His face is stuck between a small smile and a grimace. “Trust me.”

“Oh, we really do,” Jason says. Tim nods his assent.

Dick just sighs. “Okay,” He says. “I’ll tell you. I promise. But for now,” He looks around. “We have to get you guys back, okay?”

“You’re coming too,” Tim says instantly.

“What, already?” Jason asks. “You trying to get rid of us?”

“No,” Dick insists. At Tim’s protest, he raises a hand. “I want to go with you, but I can’t. Listen. There’s things going on here right now…I need to see them through. A lot of lives are at stake. But the first chance I get, I’ll come. Promise. I promise. And trust me: you guys knowing I’m alive already lifts a huge weight off my shoulders. Bruce’ll have little to no issue with letting me come back if he knows that you guys know.”

“Letting you?” Jason asks, eyes narrowed. “Also. What makes you think we’ll be okay with doing that? Just up and leaving you here?”

Dick’s face softens. “I know it’s a lot to ask. But, look. We need to make sure to get you guys out of here as soon as possible. It’s…well. I want to make sure the people here don’t get you in their radar.”

“Will you be okay then?” Tim asks, concerned about this development. “Staying here? It doesn’t look like you trust them.”

“I don’t,” Dick says. “And I wouldn’t stay unless I felt like I had to. And…I’ll keep in touch, okay? You won’t be leaving me entirely like that. Bruce has a way to contact me, you can bully him into using his. Tell the rest of the family, okay? I want them to know.”

This, more than anything, convinces Jason that Dick means every word of his promise. “Fine,” he says, over Tim’s protest. “We need to clean up here first, anyway. Which would be faster if I had my gun.” He eyes Dick’s belt. “Hey, can I—”

“No,” Dick says instantly.

“Come on,” Jason whines. “How come you get one and I don’t?”

“If I had the choice,” Dick says. “I’d switch with you. But alas.”

Jason raises an eyebrow. “Hey,” He says. “Does Bruce know about that? The gun?”

Dick laughs, strangely bitter. “He had to deal with it,” He says. “If he sends me here, he has to live with those consequences.”

Jason knows Dick isn’t the biggest fan of guns either, so this is probably hitting on a sore spot. Kind of his expertise, to be honest.

“I’m still mad at you,” Tim interrupts, staring Dick down. “Really mad.”

Dick’s mood changes again. “I know,” He says softly. “I’m sorry. Really.”

Tim surges forward suddenly, hugging Dick tightly again. “Really really mad,” He mutters into Dick’s tshirt.

Dick hugs back, pats him on the head. “I know,” He says. “Missed you.”

Tim makes a small, wounded sound. “Me too.”

Dick looks up, making eye contact with Jason. “You too, kiddo.” He says.

“Kiddo?” Jason says. He swallows around the lump in his throat. “Yeah. Me too, I guess,” He clears his throat. “I’m waiting for that full explanation. The minute you get back. We’ll decide what to do with Bruce from there.”

“You don’t have to—” Dick says, and Tim lets go of him again. “Look…”

Tim walks to the back of the room, quickly starting to gather up everything they brought with them.

“Shut up,” Jason says. “We’ll handle it then. We’ll head back now, contact you later. Deal?”

Tim pops back up, shoving things into Jason’s backpack. “Done,” He says.

“Deal,” Dick answers him. He gestures at them both. “I’ll lead you back, okay? Follow me.”

He walks them to the door, then pushes ahead, directing them to follow. “Matron,” He says quietly. “We’re good to go.”

She pops back around the corner. “You back now?” She says, giving him a searching look.

He grins. “Like a bad penny,” He says.

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah. It’s you all right,” She gestures at the rest of them. “Right. Let’s go.”

They walk down the hallways, quietly striding through the creaking building, before Tim whispers. “We’ll need to regroup on this mission. How bad do you think we’ll get it from Damian for failing it?”

“We’re bringing Dick back,” Jason says, eyeing him. “I’m sure he’ll forget all about that.”

“I doubt it,” Tim mutters, but he grins just the same.

They head out the door, following Dick through the hallways. He walks different here, not like a Dick, not really. Like Agent 37.

Jason shakes the unease out of his head.

“Hey,” Tim says. “You still hate Tuesdays now?”

Jason snorts. “You kidding?” He says. “They’re still the worst. Although…” He glances up to see Dick ahead of them. “Gotta say. It’s about…20% less bad than it was.”

“Only 20%, huh?” Tim asks, amused.

“Yeah,” He says, then “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You didn’t have to,” He keeps his eyes forward. “I know you.”

“You do,” Tim says. He smiles again. “You really, really do.”

[apomaro-mellow]

S1E05: Fear No High School

S1E04

The party was sitting in various positions in Dustin's living room while he paced about a chalkboard.

"Men, ladies, Mews", he tipped his hat to his cat lounging at El's feet. "We are at a critical juncture in our young lives. We are transitioning from tweens to teens. In fact I'm sure many of you have already gotten The Talk from your parents."

"The what?", El asked.

"The Talk", Will said.

El looked blankly at him.

"You know. 'The. Talk'?", Lucas emphasized with air quotes. "Didn't Hopper teach you about like, the birds and the bees?"

"I brought a bird home once and he said we couldn't keep it. Is that it?", El asked.

"The Talk meaning the sex talk", Mike said. "I mean didn't your mom-" he stopped talking as soon as the word was out of his mouth.

Max piped up quickly. "El, have you gotten your period yet?"

"My what?"

"Max! Gross!", Lucas cringed.

"Oh grow up", Max rolled her eyes.

"Yes! Growing up!", Dustin exclaimed. "Back to our topic!" He used a pointer to direct their attention back to the board which was title 'HS Preparation'.

"I think we've got bigger problems than whatever you're talking about", Max said, grabbing Dustin's housephone and handing it to El. "Here. Ask your dad about periods."

"I can't watch this", Mike said.

"Children. I'm dealing with children", Dustin bemoaned as El dialed home.

"Hello?", Hopper answered.

"Hey, dad? Um..", El looked to Max for guidance but just got an expression egging her on. "What would you say if I had a period?"

Click.

...

"He hung up."

---------------------------------------------

"So lemme get this straight", Robin started while wiping down the counter. "You go out with Eddie once and decide you like the alternative vibe?"

Steve was in the middle of bussing an empty booth at the diner they worked at this week. "I didn't go out with Eddie. He and I...co-babysat. And who said Addie was alternative?"

"She's got a lip ring", Robin said.

"And?"

"And?! Since when have you dated any girl that had piercings? And before you say earrings, they don't count if you can wear them to church."

"I just think she's cool. And different. And didn't you say I should try different?" Steve brought his bin of dirty dishes and laid it right on Robin's freshly cleaned counter.

"What I meant was doing more than just hitting it and quitting it. Are you sure you can even handle a girl like her?"

"Please. Steve Harrington has never met a girl he can't handle."

--------------------------------

"Hey kids", Joyce greeted as the whole gaggle came into her house.

There was a chorus of 'Hi Ms. Byers' with a lone 'hi mom' from Will.

"Have you guys learned your lesson about prank calling for bodily functions?", Joyce asked, arms crossed.

"I can't believe he grounded all of us!", Lucas said.

"Yeah, he's not even our dad", Mike added. "And we had nothing to do with that call!"

"It's not a grounding. It's boundaries. Either my house or his for a week. I think that's fair when he's paranoid about his daughter going through puberty." Joyce ruffled Mike's head.

"Alright, let's get back to the important stuff", Dustin said. "It won't be long before we're in high school-"

"Ohhhh you kids are growing up", Joyce cooed, hugging Dustin from behind.

"Um, Will? Neutralize mom-unit please?", Dustin pleaded.

"Mom, can you uh-"

"I'll get out of your hair", Joyce said. She left out of the living room to give them some space.

"Okay, so what's the worst thing about high school?", Dustin prompted.

"Stuffy teachers", Max said.

"Getting lost in the hallways", El said.

"Wrong. The worst part is everything that impedes on our academic journey. So yes, getting lost, horrible teachers, bossy seniors, gross lunches, you name it. So before it's on the horizon. We need to prepare."

"How do we prepare for something that far off?", Lucas asked.

"By facing our fears head on." Dustin took out a notepad and a pen, then passed some paper to them all. "Everybody write them down. We're gonna face our fears."

After a few minutes, they all had something down and passed them back to Dustin. He frowned when he saw Max's.

"You can't fear 'nothing'. Everybody's afraid of something."

"Okay lions, and tigers, and bears", Max shrugged.

"Fine. Be a wiseass. When we start high school you'll be ill-prepared."

"Well what's yours?", Mike asked.

Dustin brandished his paper. "Underfunded science programs."

"Oh my god you're such a nerd", Max groaned.

"How are we gonna face these things anyway?", Will asked. "It's not like we can just walk into the high school on a Saturday. Or on a weekday."

"Oh ye of little faith", Dustin grinned.

-----------------------------

Steve walked up to a payphone on the street and dialed a number, glad when Robin was the one to pick up the diner's phone.

"Hey, uh, so date's going okay. We had hot dogs in the park but um, I think I need some advice?"

"Steve Harrington asking me for advice? I thought there wasn't a girl out there you couldn't handle?"

"I just-it's hard to explain. I'm bringing her by the diner for shakes. You'll get it when you see."

He hung up, leaving Robin in the dark as to what his exact crisis was.

-------------------------------

"How'd you get keys to the school?", Will asked as Dustin used said keys to open the doors to Hawkins High.

"Eddie got them for me. Oh by the way El, remind Steve he owes Eddie free burger and fries for life", Dustin said.

"Sure", El shrugged. She was pretty sure her brother wasn't gonna be at that diner for longer than a week anyway.

Once instead, Dustin went to one of the lockers and opened it using a combination written on a sticky note. Inside was a mess of papers, a poster of a band none of them knew and a few text books.

"Perfect. Mike, get inside", Dustin said.

"Whose locker is this?", he asked.

"Eddie's. Duh. Now get in."

Mike looked apprehensive before stepping inside, squeezing in as the door was shut. He took in a breath and looked at his surroundings.

"You know, it actually isn't that bad in here."

"Perfect! We'll be back later", Dustin beamed.

"What?!"

"It's not really facing your fear if we let you out after ten seconds. Don't worry, we won't forget you", Dustin gave the locker a pat.

"See ya Mike~", Max grinned.

"Stay strong", Lucas said.

They got to the next point in the school, which brought them to the boys locker room. Lucas stared at the empty showers before him.

"Okay, leaving Mike by himself was kind of mean. But you guys don't have to stay here and watch this."

"How do we know if you went through with it if we don't?", Dustin postured.

"Why're you afraid of showers?", El asked.

"Because dudes can be gross. Look at these floors!", Lucas gestured to the brownish coloring near their thankfully fully shoed feet.

"Boys are indeed gross", Max nodded.

"Why don't you wear flip flops?", El suggested.

"Because what's worse than getting foot fungus is dudes thinking you're a sissy", Lucas frowned. He straightened his back and then bent over to take off his shoes. "I'm going in."

"I can't watch", Will said, turning around.

Dustin also turned. "Let's leave him to it."

Out of the locker room, Dustin turned to El and handed her a map. "Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find all the exes on this map in the next hour."

"But I-"

"You have a map", Dustin interrupted. "You can't get lost. And if you can find your way with this now, you can do it on a normal school day."

"...Okay. I can do this. I can do this!" El turned to start moving towards her first destination.

-------------------------------

Steve opened the door for Addie as they walked into the diner. He saw not just Robin, but Nancy and Jonathan sitting at the counter.

"You go find us some seats. I'm gonna get those shakes." He was all smiles until he got to his friends. "Why are they here?", he jabbed a finger to Nancy and Jonathan.

"You wanted some advice and the best help is always peer-reviewed", Robin said smartly.

"So what's the deal with Addie?", Jonathan asked.

"I was hoping you guys could tell me", Steve said.

"You knew she was weird when you asked her out", Robin said.

"Yeah, she's weird. But also, funny? And nice. And she says some of the most interesting stuff I've ever heard", Steve said.

"But you're not that into her", Nancy concluded for him.

Steve's head fell into his hands. "It makes no sense."

"We'll observe and mark our findings from here. Two shakes?", Robin asked.

"Please", Steve looked up from his hands.

---------------------------

Dustin looked at the last slip of paper in his hand. "Will I'll be honest, I'm at a loss for you."

"Yeah, I figured", Will said.

Max snatched the paper from Dustin. "You're afraid of being beat up? By who?"

"By anyone? I mean it could be anyone who's bigger than me", Will said. "It's already happened before."

"You've been like pushed and shoved before, I know. But like actually getting beat up? You're afraid of that?"

"Teenage boys are more susceptible to rage due to their hormones. And growing muscles make them more dangerous", Dustin lectured.

"You do remember you're gonna be a teenage boy too?", Max raised a brow. "Punch them back."

"We are academics. Not warriors", Dustin said.

"And they never fight fair", Will said. "Remember the zoo? They got their older brother to pick on us. It's never just one guy. They pick on you in packs and how am I supposed to fight six guys?!"

Will sat down in the hallway, back against a locker. Dustin and Max sat on either side of him.

"High school is supposed to be the roughest years of our lives", Will said.

"Then we've gotta be rough right back", Max countered. "First day of school, we find the biggest senior and dump milk down his pants!"

Will laughed which made Dustin continue. "Then we find the second biggest senior and offer to do his homework for the whole year, securing our protection."

"Are we trying to piss them off or get them to like us?", Will laughed.

"Can't we do both?", Max questioned.

After another round of laughter, Dustin checked his watch. "Okay, let's grab the others and go home."

"What about your fear of underfunded science programs?", Will asked.

"Eddie told me that arts and science will always be lacking attention and money so long as America prioritizes athletics above all else."

-------------------------------

Addie was about halfway done with her shake when she got up to use the bathroom. Steve used this as an opportunity to go back to the counter.

"So? Thoughts?"

"You like her...", Nancy started.

"But you don't like-like her", Robin finished.

"Yeah, but why? Why aren't I feeling a spark with her?", Steve asked.

"Usually when you don't feel a spark because someone else already lit it in you", Jonathan said.

Robin smacked Steve's arm. "Ow! What?"

"Someone lit you and you didn't tell me?"

"I haven't been lit. He doesn't know what he's talking about", Steve protested.

"Are you guys bullying my brother?", El asked as the party walked into the diner.

"What've you guys been up to?", Nancy asked, looking them over with suspicion.

"Not breaking and entering", Dustin said. "Because I have keys."

"I don't get paid enough for this", Robin said.

Episode 6

[genderqueerdykes]

Hi, I'm a trans man and I've been on testosterone for about a few months, and I'm having kind of a hard time with my feelings on how my skin and hair have changed throughout that time; I was super insecure the first time I went through puberty about my acne and body hair, and so now I've got a weird mix of dysphoria and euphoria about it if that makes sense? Idk I didn't really have a goal with this ask i was just wondering if anyone else understands this feeling and you always have really good responses to asks from what I've seen

i get where you're coming from on that for sure!

i've always had very clear skin despite having high testosterone, i'm very fortunate that i don't naturally get a lot of acne. however, when i was starting testosterone, holy hell, i was so greasy and i felt like a slimeball 24/7. i was getting a lot of acne on my face and just everywhere in general that i had never seen before and it did make me feel uncomfortable in my skin for a while. i definitely get where you're coming from it can be a total shock because you can read about the changes but until you see/feel it happen to you it's a totally different world

any big changes you're seeing right now will calm down in a few months, you're in a 'puberty' sort of stage right now where the hormones are raging and going bonkers, so you're going to get some pretty extreme results at first. your body isn't used to what's going on so it's not quite sure how to handle it. it's definitely okay to be uncomfortable and not enjoy what's happening right now. it'll calm down soon, and your skin will find a balance

i stopped breaking out pretty soon after that point, and i haven't noticed myself being anywhere *near* that greasy since, lol. it's definitely like... a MASSIVE change at first and i just. i get where you're coming from i had the exact same thing, a mix of dysphoria and euphoria. your brain will tell you that you're ugly because of the changes, but you're not. anyone going through a transformational period will look or feel awkward for a while. take the euphoria when you get it, being a sweaty hairy man CAN be very euphoric. it's okay to enjoy being "gross". it's okay to find yourself enjoying even the strange parts of your transition

i hope that helped =) i felt that way for a while and i didn't know if it was going to get better or stop, but it evens out eventually once your body adjusts to the new level of testosterone you're training it to find as its norm. i hope you feel better soon, if you need anything else feel free to come back! you're rad, stay safe

[pruengs]

a symptom of being human - german family part two

masterpost.

except this time it's not as neat or organized it's just a bunch of me rambling.

thinking abt the german family in my au. thinking about roderich and gilbert, who never really saw eye to eye, and gilbert who is just as mad as roderich as ludwig is, but who is older and smarter and knows roderich didn't have a choice, and roderich who is regrets it so deeply and who wished he could have stayed with his family instead. who missed his brothers every day, and who loathes their mother. gilbert who visited his family in austria, only to be met by blatant disregard for his identity by his mother and unwavering support from his brother.

ludwig, who is so so mad at roderich, who cannot stand to talk to him because the anger keeps bubbling up, who was *so* hurt and missed him so much every day, who couldn't even comprehend why his big brother would do this, but who desperately wished for him to just come back. ludwig who never had a feeling of love towards his mother, whose entire adoration and resentment intertwined got projected onto roderich.

gilbert and ludwig, who stuck by each other through thick and thin, gilbert who did his best to make sure his little brother never had to think too hard about the rejection that was their mother leaving them. who did his best to give him a good life. ludwig, who idolized his big brother, because he was so strong and confident, and he wanted to be like him. ludwig and gil who were vulnerable with each other.

gilbert and ludwig, arguing, about ludwig's resentment towards roderich, and how unfair he was being and how unfair it was of him to leave and how unfair ludwig was for acting like roderich wasn't still a child as well, and that gilbert *understands* that ludwig is so upset and "do you really think i didn't need my big brother as well?!" and ludwig finally, *finally* understanding why things happened the way they did. and maybe he can't forgive roderich quite like he should. but he doesn't hate him anymore. and they can talk, and things end up okay. at least more okay than before.

thinking about germania, who tries his best to raise two sons all on his own. who has to bear the brunt of the divorce, because he has two children that are so, so upset at home and he doesn't quite know how to give them a good life. who's giving gilbert hope despite his diagnosis, and who supports him in his transition, and in every life choice he makes, no matter how hard it can get, and how terrifying puberty was. who tries his best to accomodate to ludwig's autism, and to give his son everything he needs, and who always does his best to make sure everything is handled at the pace that ludwig needs.

who tries to keep in touch with his eldest despite his ex-wives best efforts to cut all communication. who wishes for his family to just be reunited again, for everything to be a bad dream. who needs help but doesn't know how to ask for it, and who, when he finally holds his son in his arms again, cries so hard because his family is whole once more.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Omega!Luke Masterlist

A little too much to handle (ao3) - Abbypd ot4 M, 15k

Summary:

“Cal’s an Omega too.” Ashton said after swallowing and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Okay, now I definitely feel sorry for Ash.” Luke mumbled to no one in particular and Ashton didn’t know if he should agree with him or not.

Or where Calum turns out to be an Omega as well and Ashton can't keep up with their heats anymore.

Building a Family (ao3) - FayeHunter luke/ashton E, 37k

Summary: The little plastic stick in Luke’s hands is mocking him. The little two lines on display, stark and unavoidable, are staring back at him, clear despite the fact that his hands are shaking.

Luke's an unmated omega werewolf in a not quite wolf pack. One accident leads to him and Ashton becoming expectant parents. Nothing is ever as simple as Luke hopes it to be.

Daddy's Little Pup (ao3) - IfWallsCouldMuke michael/luke, minor calum/ashton E, 3k

Summary: Luke is in heat and needs his daddy Alpha for next few days...

FutureSex/LoveSounds (ao3) - Migs luke/calum, michael/luke, calum/ashton E, 47k

Summary: Luke is Med student/camboy with a crush on the Footie captain with a secret.

OR: Cake have a lot of hot sex for money whilst trying to pursue romantic relationships with other boys.

Heat (ao3) - FayeHunter michael/luke E, 1k

Summary: Luke goes into heat. Luckily he has his mate, Michael

he's got blue eyes deep like the sea (ao3) - orphan_account luke/ashton M, 5k

Summary: He groans, a sickening pain shooting through him. He can feel something wet beginning to trail down his leg, and in his hazy mind, he just barely manages to put together that it's slick, and he's just presented.

Fuck, he's an omega.

(or, the one where luke goes into his first heat at a party, and it all goes downhill from there.)

Hold me close and fast. (ao3) - orphan_account luke/ashton E, 5k

Summary: Or the one where Luke goes into his first heat, and Ashton is there to take care of him.

i belong with you, you belong with me - @sup3rbloom​ (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) ot4, michael/calum/ashton, luke/calum T, 12k

Summary: Luke presents as an omega during their Youngblood promo. It's a rollercoaster of emotions, but the boys have his back in the end.

I Didn't Come Here To Party (I Only Came For The Cake) (ao3) - Migs luke/ashton E, 5k

Summary: Luke goes in heat.

Let Me Know When I’m Needed Home (You Call Me Up With A Head Full Of Filth) (ao3) - Migs luke/calum, michael/luke E, 6k

Summary: Whilst alphas and female omegas can be found from time to time, male omegas are kind of like unicorns. Mythical creatures no one has seen in ages.

Or: Luke presents as an omega and Calum as the only alpha of the band offers to help him out.

Lies I Feed Myself (ao3) - Grace_Williams michael/crystal, sierra/luke, michael/calum T, 25k

Summary: Michael should be grateful he found out he was an omega when he did. Sure he was 24, which, given he went through puberty early, is so astonishingly late he had accepted he was a beta. Still, it was in the middle of the pandemic. (Though technically speaking, not the middle, actually closer to the start). It was an ideal time to find out he was an omega, all things considered.

or the story where Michael finds out he’s an omega long past when he should’ve, makes some irresponsible decisions, and is then forced to rethink every emotion he’s ever felt about Calum while lying in a hospital bed

Making a Pack (ao3) - fbiagentdipper calum/ashton, michael/luke T, 33k

Summary: When Luke is put on bed rest because of problems with his heat, he needs his friends and bandmates to help see him through.

Patience (ao3) - FayeHunter michael/luke E, 2k

Summary: Luke's in heat and wants his boyfriend to fuck him nice and good

road to happiness - @sup3rbloom​ (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 12k

Summary: Calum and Michael get drunk one night before Ashton's birthday, panicking about a birthday gift.

When Ashton wakes up the morning of his birthday, he really didn't expect to find an omega standing at his door, looking terrified. Ashton had no idea that this omega would change his life.

Take A Stand - @sup3rbloom​ (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 1k

Summary: Luke encounters a rude alpha during a radio interview, and takes a stand for himself. The boys back him. The day ends with pack cuddles.

These Shades Can Hide Us From The Streets (ao3) - LahraTeigh ot4 G, 1k

Summary: Luke has a birthday and presented as an omega. That's 3 omegas to one Alpha. Michael tries to make things easier for Ashton and tries to act like a Beta. Which can cause a lot of problems.

[biosblades]

I went to pride at 11. I wasn’t even out yet, but I definitely did feel a distinct kinship with the people there. I saw what I know now in hindsight was kink attire. I won’t lie, I was a very naive 11 yo. I had never so much as stumbled upon porn and my knowledge of sex was limited to what they taught me about puberty in 5th grade (and this is America, they separated the boys and girls, so I only knew about one side of the equation). I loved the cool costumes some people were wearing and I didn’t even think to sexualize nudity yet. My innocence was left perfectly intact and I got the opportunity to meet some people from my community. They were all super nice to me, and I left with the feeling that if I grew up to be like them there would be an accepting place waiting for me.

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

I went to pride again at 16. This time I understood what kink was. Some of it did make me uncomfortable, so I simply looked the other way instead of trying to police people IN THEIR OWN SPACE. I loved it and had a great time overall. And no, seeing leather/sexy drag/little clothing/etc did not scar me for life I was FINE. I knew I was queer this time, but I wasn’t quite there yet myself. I felt so brave wearing a single rainbow bracelet (and that was okay too; people accepted my timidness, they were encouraging, they complemented my tiny little bracelet, and they gave me space when I did look overwhelmed/uncomfortable). I left knowing that no matter how I chose to express myself one day I would have an accepting place to do so.

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

I went to pride again at 19. There were cops everywhere. I couldn’t go to most of the events because they were age restricted to 21+. Even still, I could tell the people there were not as carefree and open as they were in the past. Both times before, I was able to make a choice for myself on how to engage based on my own comfort level. I was barely even a child this time, but there was no place for me. That choice had been taken away. The adults were having a bad time because they couldn’t be themselves, and the kids were having a bad time because a bunch of conservative adults had made the choice for us that we couldn’t handle it and therefore we weren’t allowed. I knew I could handle it because I had done so before. And by this point in my life I was visibly, undeniably queer. I felt way safer with the pups and the sexy drag queens, the harness-and-nothing-else-clad leather daddies and the shirtless butches than I felt around the pearl-clutching school board members and church goers who screamed to protect the children. I was still in the school system they were purging of books, but I was also a legal adult and I knew damn well that they meant to protect the “children” from me. I had seen the rise of homophobia and the way people were governed by disgust in school, politics, and online, but I didn’t realize that they’d sunk in so deep that it would actually change pride.

I left feeling scared that this place I grew up thinking would always be there to accept me didn’t exist anymore

“But I didn’t consent to see kink” yes you did by coming to pride,

a place you know and have repeatedly said you know kink is at, a place built by kinky people, the mother of pride Brenda Howard was a queer kinky polyamorous sex positive anti war bisexual Jew and to try and remove its history or sanitise it is is spitting on her grave, you are consenting by choosing to go there

[idle-flower]

Dear Yuletide Author - 2023

Thank you for your time and attention, and I hope your wishes are granted this holiday season!

Likes:

I prefer plot and angst and adventure to fluff, though a nice warm fluffy scene can make a good dessert at the end of the pain and suffering. I lean more to f/f and m/f than m/m. I enjoy forbidden relationships and the agony of trying to keep one's heart secret. I love exploring the 'what if' spinoffs of a small change in a canon. I swoon for lovers who take dramatic risks to protect their loved ones. I sometimes use my blorbos as chew toys.

I also enjoy detailed description of clothing/furniture/jewelry/pretty things in general. Not just heaping up brand names, but sensory detail. Tell me what I'm looking at!

Dislikes:

Please avoid sweeping tropey AUs like 'what if noir' or 'what if everyone was in high school'. No excited rambling about pregnancy or babies. (Older kids are okay.) While I am okay with pretty dark stuff, please don't gorily torture characters to death on screen. If people gotta die, limit the icky details! I am generally not keen on crossovers. I dislike PWP unless it is exceedingly hot smut (see below). Please don't do gender swaps or secret trans characters unless I specifically mention it as an option.

Smut:

I don't require it, but I do read a good bit of filthy porn.

Kinks I find interesting: mild bdsm, pain mixed with pleasure, dubcon, sibling or cousin incest, strap-ons (for f/f not for f/m), futanari and other magical appendages (also generally for f/f, unless we're in a setting where 'man turns out to have tentacles' actually makes sense), teasing, teenagers, drugs/magic with interesting effects, people making terrible decisions due to being emotionally overwrought or really really horny, trying to stay quiet and failing, desperate urgency, pushing people up against walls

PLEASE NO: rape or painful sex that one party is not enjoying at all, inserting anything edible (licking off boobs is okay), aggressive face-fucking, choking, degradation, scat/watersports, bukkake, parental incest, anyone younger than teen, anyone being called "baby girl", emphasis on 'virgin blood' (some writers make it a huge deal with tearing pain and fountains of blood, please don't).

NOTE FOR TREATS:

Absolutely fine with people getting inspired by my ideas and doing whatever! I don't know if we have to actively say this this year but yeah if you want to have a go, sure.

Poison Ivy (1992 film)

Sylvie Cooper, Ivy

I was struggling through the confusions of puberty, Ivy was hot, this film left an impression on me. In a way trying to build any sort of happy ending for Ivy feels out of place, but on the other hand there's a lot of loose ends left after the story.

Throughout the film, there's a lot the audience never knows about Ivy, including her legal name. Did Coop know it? (Maybe, probably.) Did her father? (Quite possibly not). How do they handle all the legal responsibilities of her death? Were Ivy's stories about the aunt she was staying with true? How do they break the news? How does her funeral go?

What do Sylvie and her father have to say to each other about Ivy after the truth comes out? Does he admit everything that he did? (The movie seems to let him off way too easily by implying things are all Ivy's fault, when he ABSOLUTELY knew how wrong his actions were) How does he handle the guilt? How do they rebuild their relationship? Or, speaking of guilt, Sylvie kind-of-sort-of was responsible for Ivy's death, even if it wasn't 100% intended and she was not quite in her right mind at the time. She did push Ivy. How does she handle THAT?

What is school like, afterwards? What rumors escape? How does Coop handle them? Does this attract new weird friends? Does she adopt any of Ivy's traits as her own?

Or - what if Ivy survives the fall? Seriously injured, possibly paralysed, but alive? How do they deal with her, once the truth comes out? Do they cover up her crimes? Do they keep her in their home? What happens to their relationships?

Did Ivy ever care about Sylvie? Did she legitimately want to be friends before she started trying to seize hold of the world and the wealth that Coop lived in?

Sylvie ends up kind of pushed out of a lot of the middle of the movie so the film can spend more time perving over Ivy. More about her character and her thoughts in general would be great. We know she can be a troublemaker and a fantasist - who else has she been telling lies to? Or is the whole movie itself a lie she's telling us? And if so, what is the story behind the story?

For AUs, what would have happened if Ivy had met Coop when they were several years younger, so she couldn't get her hooks into Darryl as easily? What if they met at summer camp and Ivy was just as messed-up and needy but the situations were different? What if the movie plot is actually a fantasy younger-Ivy spins about her future to her fascinated-and-appalled friend, who then has a chance to react to it? Or what if Ivy tried to replace Sylvie rather than her mother? Or what if it's Darryl that she wants to kill, as revenge against the men who've mistreated her in her life? Or if it's Sylvie she really wants to be with, and we get some twisted bad-girls scenario where BOTH parents are conveniently disposed of so the girls can live together forever, lying to each other and the world and refusing to acknowledge the truth of what they've done?

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE SMUT: I'm on board with Sylvie/Ivy sex, I don't want to have to see Ivy/Darryl in too much detail. Brief reference if necessary is okay but not a focus.

DNW: Sylvie to die, Ivy to end up with Darryl

Roseanne

Darlene Conner, David Healy, Molly Tilden

I got some lovely happy romance stories for my classic couple last year - this year I want to explore the possibilities of the love triangle.

Molly had the hots for David. David thought she was cute but was devoted to Darlene. Molly badly wanted Darlene's attention and friendship, which eventually turned into rivalry when Darlene constantly rejected her. Darlene felt threatened (but did check out Molly's chest, if just for comparison). That much is canon; it doesn't take a whole lot extra to give Molly a crush on Darlene as well and make the whole mess more complicated. Is Darlene's rejection of Molly's need for attention really so different from the way she treats David sometimes?

I generally prefer drama and angst and sticking to a fairly serious character exploration but with these three I'm also up for some Wacky and/or Sexy Shenanigans. Obviously it doesn't have to end with a happy poly trio, but I'd be tickled if it did (especially if it takes some serious work to get there. suffer first, then happiness!). Or you can whump people around a bit if it makes the angsty longing more intense. Bittersweet is fine.

Some idea seeds:

Playing With Matches, Molly kisses Darlene rather than David, Darlene panics because she doesn't want to be either a lesbian or a homophobe, David panics because he thinks this means Darlene will never really want him, Jackie overhears the wrong things and panics more, chaos ensues.

Molly runs away from home and strikes a deal to hide out in Darlene's college apartment because no one would think to look for her there. David finds out.

Molly hooks up with David after Darlene dumps him for Jimmy, everyone's bitter and angsting about what they don't have.

David and Darlene are happily married stable adults living in Chicago and publishing a comic together. They are reunited with Molly at a comics convention and she confesses that when they were teenagers she was into both of them.

All three live together and raise kids, the perils of poly parenting. Especially if the rest of the extended Conner clan keeps sticking their noses in to complain about this weird situation.

Gen ideas: the three of them at a thrift store comparing their various fashion tastes as they pick through old clothes, working on a school project and battling over its direction and political messaging, or maybe the three of them doing roleplaying together (either tabletop or LARP, the 90s is peak White Wolf era after all, imagine them in a vampire game)

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE SMUT: Any combination of the three, teens or adults, is fine! No extra characters in bed though please. I have a weakness for outwardly soft and submissive boys who are much more dominant in bed, particularly if he's teased to the breaking point before pouncing and going absolutely wild (to everyone's enjoyment).

DNW: Anything from the revival/TheConners continuity. Please try not to have characters commenting on David being "emasculated" or Darlene only liking him because he's "practically a girl", the gender policing really bothers me. Don't make Jimmy actually appear because I don't want to have to think too much about that actor. Please don't make David gay even if Darlene leaves him for Molly. Don't make anyone 100% Evil.

Kushiel's Legacy

Phedre's Younger Sibling

Ever since someone mentioned it I've been intrigued by the idea of what happened to Phedre's little sister or brother, the one her mother was pregnant with when Phedre was sold to the Night Court. We know her parents probably died during the Bitterest Winter, of fever or of war, because they never tried to meet with Phedre once she was famous. But her sibling might never have even known Phedre's name or that she even existed, so they might have lived past that point without ever having a reason to contact her. What sort of life did that second child, four years younger than Phedre, have?

Phedre's coloring and defiant nature might read quite differently on a beautiful young man, a clever one with a knack for getting into trouble. Did he grow up bouncing along on slightly more successful caravans, learning scraps of Skaldi and Caerdicci as they traveled? Did he develop the business sense his father lacked? Did he beg caravan guards to teach him swordplay? Did a young love of travel combined with his parents tendency to bad fortune lead to him signing on as a sailor while he was still basically a child?

A boy might also be less likely to hear even a whisper of rumor of the lost older daughter. A boy might have been embraced as Firstborn and Heir by his father and never doubt.

A second daughter, however, one with a passing resemblance to Phedre but without Kushiel's dart and its mixed blessings, her existence might be more complicated. Looking at her might be a constant reminder of the shame of what happened with their first daughter. She might qualify for the canon of one of the Houses, but her parents might have felt themselves unable to return to the city of Elua to trade her, for fear of incurring the wrath of Cereus House. Might they have sold her somewhere else, even on the open market as a slave, as Phedre feared her fate might have been if her parents had been desperate enough? Or perhaps she was less pretty, less useful, and found herself abandoned at a temple of Naamah or Elua by her family? (We meet a Liliane at the temple where Imriel grew up and Phedre notes that was her mother's name. She seems a little bit young to be Phedre's sister but it's not impossible, and there's certainly a story in what happened to her if she is.)

But if a sister grew up looking a great deal like Phedre but without that divine spark, might she have been seized by someone precisely because of that resemblance? Someone who longed for the heroine but could not afford or entice the Comtesse de Montreve, so instead acquired their own little discount version? Or someone with a grudge against Phedre that they dared not act on, so kept a girl to punish in her place, never knowing it was actually her sister?

Or perhaps Phedre's wayward parents settled down a bit and matured and lived a respectable middle-class life outside the City of Elua, and this younger sister or brother lived a very ordinary d'Angeline life, until the Bitterest Winter. If they were sixteen and suddenly orphaned by fever, what did they do then? Take up arms to fight the Skaldi invasion? Go in search of more distant relatives? Philippe Cantrel had at least a father and two older brothers - we can assume Grandfather died and the inheriting elder brothers didn't remember Phedre's name or weren't paying enough attention to know she existed. But the child might have returned to the city seeking these uncles out of desperation. Or they might have been killed or enslaved by the Skaldi. Or all sorts of things.

I guess what I'm looking for here is a viewpoint on events within Terre d'Ange from a character who isn't important, isn't divinely touched, doesn't know exactly what all the great houses are up to, and never has any idea how closely connected they are to great events. Some dramatic irony and angst welcome. Possibly they live a short, unremarkable life and die alone. Possibly they make something of themselves, but without ever becoming rich and famous and royally connected. Whoever they are, Phedre never knows.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I have not yet read Cassiel's Servant! I may or may not have gotten to it by Christmas, and I was not taking anything in that book into account when making this request, this is a repeat from years before. I have no idea if any further light is shone on the subject, and I will likely not recognise any character from that book. If you haven't read it either, great! If you have, don't lean on it.

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE SMUT: go for it, just see my general smut-DNWs at the top.

DNW: Accidental incest between Phedre and her sibling. The sibling turning out to be a secret behind-the-scenes savior who was responsible for some major event in the plot. Either sibling ever figuring out that they're related.

Picnic at Hanging Rock

Hester Appleyard, Sara Waybourne

Note: I have not read the book or seen the 1975 movie, I've only seen the miniseries. You can draw ideas from other versions if you want but you'll have to explain what you're talking about or I may not get the reference.

First off, TV Sara is the cutest thing and I want to protect her (and, well, THAT obviously didn't work out). Second, I feel like the relationship between Hester and Sara is interestingly ambiguous (what isn't, in this show?). Hester seems both antagonistic and friendly to Sara in different ways, and it seems clearly suggested that she's reminded of her own orphan past. She sometimes wants to bond with her and othertimes wants to furiously reject her. She fears that Sara knows far too much, and she's tempted to tell her more.

The circumstances of Sara's death are very unclear, though we see that Hester knows something and is covering it up. What happened between them on that final night? Did Hester push Sara out in a rage? Did they struggle, up in the tower on a windy night, and a careless shove let Sara fall? Did Hester try to save her? Did Sara leap from the tower in despair? Did Sara try to climb out to escape and fall? How did Hester find out that Sara was dead, and why did she choose to deal with it in the way she did (pretending Sara had left but not disposing of the body)? What was she thinking? Or did she truly convince herself Sara had just 'disappeared' like the other girls?

So things that I'd be particularly interested in, storywise:

A depiction of the details and the drama of that final, fatal night

Any scene in which they really open up to each other and share secrets we didn't see in the series (which might or might not end with Hester threatening Sara to shut her up)

AU in which Hester adopts Sara herself and trains her to follow in her footsteps? Possibly where she uses Sara as a bridge to marry Mr Cosgrove? (Dark and mysterious things should still happen, just DIFFERENT ones)

AU in which it's Hester who falls to her death after their last confrontation in the tower. Sara lives! But she might be suspected of murder, especially if for some reason Hester named her in the will and left her the school. What happens to the school and Sara now?

Angst and drama are likely. Killing either or both characters is fine. Depictions of self-harm and child abuse consistent with the series are fine, but tag it. No sexual abuse depictions please.

Smutwise: Not with each other! In keeping with the style of the show, some light sexual scenes might work well for filling in character info (what IS hester's sexuality anyway? If Sara Lives, how does she eventually move on from Miranda?) but this is not a kink request.

DNW: Hester/Sara slash. A super-happy fix-it fic. This is a dark canon, so I'm okay with the threat of someone being pruriently interested in Sara or young Hester, but I absolutely don't want anyone to do anything sexual to Sara while she's underage. It's okay to imply that young Hester might have been molested or prostituted but I don't want to see it happen in detail.

21 Jump Street - Series

Harry Ioki

I always felt like Harry was shortchanged on the show in terms of how much screentime and attention he got. Maybe just because I thought he was gorgeous and wanted so much more. Because they showed less of him, I have fewer strong hooks to build off of for requests. I don’t really know what I want, other than an Ioki adventure during the first four seasons of the show. Some mystery, some drama, a chance for him to look cool, an excuse to dress him up nice? (Can you find an excuse to make him solve a mystery while wearing a snazzy dinner jacket, or some sort of lovingly-detailed punk getup?)

Romance-wise, I don’t want him in a full relationship with any of the main cast but I wouldn’t mind him flirting with ANY of them. I’m cool with writing an OFC for him to romance during the story, but I would prefer a reset button on that for the ending. Maybe she dies, maybe she’s the bad guy and he has to arrest her, maybe she doesn’t like it when she finds out who he really is, maybe it was just a fling, whatever. A nice poignant note to wrap up on. Given the time period and his personality, I feel like if Harry were bi, he'd be keeping it quiet, and I don't want a story that's all about the struggles of being closeted in the 80s, so if you really want to give him a boyfriend, that shouldn't be the main focus. Romance isn’t necessary either, but it’s nice to have someone to admire the boy. Even if it’s just Tom and Doug complaining that he looks better in that outfit than they would. (Background Tom/Doug bromance is fine too.)

Angst and bittersweet endings are very acceptable and common for the canon. I'd prefer at least a tiny spark of hope (for him personally even if not for the characters of the week) rather than total despair.

Please do not reference anything having to do with the movies, not even as a joke.

I'd actually prefer to skip the smut on this one and keep it in tone with what you'd see on television.

DNW: Harry sleeping with anyone in the main cast. Any main character dying. Gross-out jokes or otherwise not taking the premise of the show seriously. AIDS storylines. Any reference to the movies.

[ventihonklightice]

Clingy || Wilbur Soot

word count: 3.5k

~~~

Y/N had been lounging around the flat all day as her boyfriend filmed videos with his fellow Minecraft friends. Wilbur had currently been recording with Tommy and Quackity, another one of their wild Minecraft mod videos. She knew her love was busy and had his responsibilities with his own videos alongside the ones made with his friends, but she had been scrolling through Twitter and saw that he had just gotten verified. There was no way he knew about the news as he had been busy all day doing his job.

A smile grew on her face as she rushed to his bedroom door to share the great news, however she paused as she heard the nature of his current discussion with his friends.

“- but she’s been good. We’ve been really good,” Y/N smiled at his words, seemingly knowing it was about her. That smile quickly disappeared at the words her boyfriend was about to spew. “Just, she’s been kind of needy and clingy or something,” Wilbur shook his head not fully understanding his own words, looking at the wall behind his monitor too lost in his thoughts. He couldn’t quite understand his own thoughts half of the time, especially today as all he has done was played Minecraft. Slowly, the hate he has been receiving has been catching up to him, forcing him into this pit he’d never thought he’d be in which added to the stress that fueled his words. “Like she thinks she always has to be with me. Right now even, she’s at the flat.” Wilbur ran his fingers through his messy brown hair as he proceeded to explain his relationship. “I love her, I do, but I can’t even be with her right now so I don’t understand why she has to be here,” he confessed, mind clouded with tiredness masked by the wine he downed in an attempt to calm his nerves.

Y/N furrowed her brows leaning forward to listen further. “Well, she loves you, so what do you expect her to do? Not want to be with you?” She heard an American accent, likely belonging to Quackity.

“I-I don’t know. It’s just- I’m not used to this. It’s been a while since I’ve seriously been with a girl like this before. I just need space, but she wants to be around me constantly. It’s annoying.” The anger, the annoyance, and the frustration were all evident in his voice, making Y/N second guess a lot of her choices the past few days. She looked down at her hands, the mustard sleeves reaching past her palms belonging to the man behind the door she leaned on.

She closed her eyes in an attempt to push back her tears before she walked away, not being able to listen to him any further. Her eyes began to water more and more as bothering him was the very last thing she had ever wished to do. She sat on the couch before pulling the jumper off of her body, folding it neatly in her hands before pulling on her shoes.

Fanning her face quickly to reduce any possible puffiness or redness, Y/N timidly knocked on the door to Wilbur’s room. “Hold on guys,” he spoke to his friends, muting himself on discord. “Yeah?” She heard his deep voice call from the other side, taking it as her cue to push the door open. His hair fluffed about as he turned to face her. “Hey what’s up?” He asked with a soft smile.

“I uh think I’m gonna head home, got an early shift tomorrow and all,” she spoke softly while avoiding his gaze. Y/N wasn’t one to lie so she felt guilty for doing so but she didn’t know what else to do.

He furrowed his brows, confused at her words. She almost always stays the night, especially when she works early because he lives closer to her job.

“You sure? You’re more than welcome to stay the night. Y-You always do,” he muttered with slight concern in his words as he took his headset off.

She shook her head lightly, “nah it’s alright. Gotta water the plants,“ Y/N fiddled with the door handle as her other hand traced the sweater, knowing full well she doesn’t have any plants.

“Alright, I’ll walk you out,” he stood up, adjusting the chair in order to do so. Y/N reached out to him, his jumper resting in her hand, “where’d you like me to put this?”

He stood up, increasingly getting confused at her actions because he knew that she loved wearing his clothes and stealing them any chance she got. “I-I’ll um, just toss it on the bed,” he pointed to the made bed, slipping on his shoes to walk her out.

She felt his form loom over her as he walked with her out of the flat and to her car. They walked in silence, uncharacteristically. Wilburs’s hands were stuffed in the pockets of his pants lost in his thoughts as he heard her car alarm He walked to the driver’s side, lost in his thoughts while he opened the door for her.

She approached the door, getting ready to sit in the driver’s seat before turning to Wilbur to bid goodbye. He leaned down to kiss her, standard for all of their farewells, but she turned her head at the last second, his lips crashing onto her cheek. His heart dropped at the odd situation he was placed in, wondering why this was happening.

“I-I’ll see you later,” she smiled softly before sitting down and preparing to drive.

He could let her go like this. He had to know if things were good, okay even. Before he shut the door, he leaned down a bit to get closer to her. “Is everything okay? You seem a bit off, darling.”

“Y-yeah I’m just really tired,” she chuckled humorlessly, placing a hand on her forehead. “Sorry, it’s just been a weird day.”

“If you’re that tired you could stay here,” his voice practically pleaded, assuring her once more that she always had a place there.

“I-I’ll be fine, I promise.” Her words were soft along with her eyes, but she just wanted to give him what he desired; space.

“You sure?” He asked once more, extremely concerned, but what answer was he really expecting? Y/N nodded her head, “positive.”

“Alright, text me when you get home,” he leaned back, preparing to shut the door for her. She nodded her head, pushing her keys into the ignition. “I love you,” he spoke sincerely, bending down so that she’d be able to see him better once more. There was an emotion in YN’s eyes that he couldn’t recognize, but the smile on her face was sad. “I-you too, I’ll see you later,” she fiddled with her keys before meeting his gaze.

His heart shattered at the words. You too? What the hell is that suppose to mean?

He gave a tight smile before shutting the door for her. You too, the words echoed in his mind as he began walking back to the front door, pausing his steps on the pavement to watch her pull out of the driveway. He sighed before turning back to his path home. Upon returning, the place felt dimmer without her presence and he quickly took note of that.

Letting out a huge sigh, he plopped down at his desk, unmuting himself on Discord. “Sorry bout that, I’m back. J-Just walking Y/N out,” he spoke, taking the only opportunity his friends quieted down to speak.

“Wilbur!” Tommy yelled as the rest of the VC, which now had Niki, Jack and Fundy, errupted in chaos. “W-What? What the fuck happened?”

“Dude you got verified on Twitter,” Quackity shouted. His eyes went wide, opening the light blue app to see if it was true. Sure enough, a small check mark emphasized his name. He beamed at the sight of it, rushing to make a tweet about how grateful he was.

He went back to his feed, noticing that Y/N had made a tweet about ten or so minutes prior.

y/n✨| @yourusername

so proud of my favorite boy getting verified <3 love you @WilburSoot !!

His heart clenched at the tweet, being drawn back to the events that occurred moments beforehand. He liked and retweeted it, watching his fans swoon at the couple’s interaction without knowing what was happening behind closed doors, before getting back to his friends being completely distracted by thoughts on the girl he loves.

~~~

Y/N never texted him to tell him that she was home. She woke up late that morning seeing a few texts from him about twitter, how his stream went and so on.

As she looked at the time on her phone, realizing the lie she told him about working early and chose not to answer quite yet.

She spent the rest of her day around the house, cleaning, cooking or watching TV. She wasn’t in any mood to go on social media, not wanting to interact with Wilbur quite yet. Y/N sighed thinking about yesterday, thinking that it would be a better idea to just give him some space.

And so she did, for several days before Wilbur’s worry consumed him.

He sat on Discord with his friends, days after his last interaction with his girlfriend. “It’s just weird because she’s never like this. She always calls or texts me whenever she gets the chance regardless of whether or not I ask,” he expressed to his friends as they were fucking around on their own Minecraft world. He wasn’t even paying attention to what he was doing in the game, just aimlessly pressing buttons and moving his mouse as he thought of Y/N.

Tommy chuckled shortly, “now look whos being needy.”

“Shut up Tommy,” Wilbur explained, running a hand across his chin, fingertips gracing his incredibly overgrown stubble. “Look I’m just saying,” the blond furthered, “there’s no need for you to say she’s clingy or whatever when your freaking out over a text! Like you saw her less than what, two, three ago?”

Wilbur shook his head, fuming now, “Oh my god, shut the fuck up Tommy! How would you, a literal child, know anything about what’s going on? You’ve barely hit puberty!” His outburst caused his friends to quiet down, them not being used to anger being directed in such a way.

“Wilbur,” Tommy started once again, becoming more serious, “I know you. You worrying over a few short days almost disproves everything you said the other day. I think you don’t know how to handle affection well, not that she’s clingy or whatever.” Hearing Tommy acting serious and not childish for this one second made something snap within Wilbur, knowing that the child was right.

He sighed, “I-I’m sorry for snapping at you. Everything is happening at once in my life right now and Y/N not talking to me has me worried. This isn’t what’s normal between us. It’s strange.”

“But isn’t this what you wanted? She isn’t being as ‘needy’ now. You got your wish, didn’t you?” George chimed in, hoping to help even though his own experiences with relationships hasn’t always been the best.

“Yeah, and I fucking hate it, I don’t know why I even said that. I don’t mean it. I love when she’s around, I hate when she isn’t,” Wilbur went on, his thoughts focusing on the good memories he has with his girlfriend.

“Be careful what you wish for,” Dream spoke ominously, feeling as if now was the most appropriate time to speak.

“I-I’m gonna call her,” the distressed twenty year old expressed, whipping out his phone to go to her number. As the phone rang, he became more and more nervous.

“What if she got in an accident? Or someone kidnapped her or something?”He rushed before him and his friends heard “please leave a message for 3-“

“Wilbur, she’s probably fine. She probably had a long day at work or something,” Niki spoke, hoping to add a small but of optimism to the situation.

“Yeah but she would’ve told me that. She would’ve called me to rant about her day, and tell me how much she wanted to see me, but she didn’t.” He leaned back in his chair, getting more and more stressed out over this.

“I-I think I’m gonna head to her flat.”

~~~

The drive was long as his anxiety slowly but surely began to increase with every green light. He pulled into her complex, parking and building up the courage to confront her.

“It’ll be fine. Things are fine,” he muttered to himself as he walked up the steps to the familiar doormat.

He knocked on the door, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. After a minute, there was no response so he knocked again with more ergency.

“Just a minute,” he heard her soft voice yell out, flooding him with relief. The voice wasn’t as warm as it typically was, only increasing his nervousness.

Before he knew it, Y/N opened the door, eyes meeting his chest before trickling to his eyes. “Wilbur? What are you doing here?”

He froze, shocked at the situation that he forced upon himself without realizing it. “I-You weren’t answering any calls or texts. I was worried,” he mumbled, immediately taking note of her puffy eyes.

“Have you been crying?” He stepped closer to her with concern lacing his voice. He reached out to hold her waist, caress her cheek, anything, but she stepped away slighted. Y/N blinked, “y-yeah, it’s just allergies.”

“You don’t have allergies like that Y/N. May I please come in?” Wilbur knew her better than that, probably even better than she knew herself. She nodded shortly opening the door wider for him to enter, looking down at her sock clad feet.

He entered the tiny flat, taking not that the once welcoming space has become littered with turmoil. The tissues by the sofa didn’t go unnoticed and neither did the pile of dishes in the sink. “What’s been going on? These past few days you’ve been acting strange,” he asked sincerely.

Y/N looked around, finding something and pretending to be busy with it. “I’ve just been busy,” she mumbled looking over the pile of mail she refused to actually look through. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry, would you like some tea?” She asked, realizing her manners.

“Y/N,” he spoke defeated, “come on talk to me, please.” He practically begged as he followed her steps into the kitchen to start the kettle, even though he didn’t give her an answer.

“Everything’s fine, Wilbur,” she replied absentmindedly as she searched for her various teas. “We got chai tea, black tea, Engli-“

“Y/N, I dont fucking want tea right now I want you to talk to me,” he shouted, approaching her in the kitchen and forcing her to face him by pulling her waist gently. She gasped at the loudness of his words, not used to him yelling at her.

“Wilbur,” Y/N whispered, her hands on his chest as he looked down into her eyes. Desperation was clear in his before being mimicked in his words, “this is the longest you’ve gone without calling me Wil. Come on Y/N, please.” His voice cracked towards the end, the shakiness not leaving.

She closed her eyes tightly before she pulled herself out of his arms, turning to grab two mugs out of the cupboard, “you’re getting chai tea.”

“Love, I just want us to be okay,” he spoke passionately, pleading for things to be right.

“We are okay Wilbu- Wil,” she corrected, more so forcing the nickname to combat his complaint. As she prepared each cup, putting Wilbur’s desired amount of sugar into his cup and respectively her own.

He shook his head, not believing her words as his own eyes began to turn red, “there’s something wrong and I can tell. Please just-please Y/N.” His voice was completely broken and she knew she had to express her concerns. She paused her motions, staring at the jar of sugar she just placed onto the counter.

“I-I didn’t want to bother you,” she muttered softly, examining the mugs before her.

The man sniffed, confusion growing within him. “W-What do you mean? You could never bother me Y/N,” his voice soft, approaching her once again.

She shook her head, moving to put sugar in each cup, forgetting that she already did so, “but that’s not true. We both know that.” The water remained on the stove while copious amount of sugar occupied each cup. Wilbur gently grabbed the hand holding the spoon that shoveled the sugar into the mugs, making her stop her own actions.

“Yes it is, love.” Wilbur whispered softly as she put the spoon into the jar, coming back to reality. Y/N let out a shaky breath, facing the counter while Wilbur occupied her side, facing her.

“So why’d you tell all of your friends that I’ve been clingy and needy and overbearing and everything under the sun?” She whispered as her voice wobbled, indicating that tears would soon come falling down.

Wilbur furrowed his brows, confused at the words she expressed. He scavenged his mind, not understanding what she was stating. “What are yo-“ he cut himself off, taking his hand from hers as he remembered that conversation.

Guilt washed over his soul as he realized the greater impact of his words. She thought she had to change....for those idiotic meaningless words expressed in a fit of stress and exhaustion. He shook his head lightly, refusing to look at her, refusing to look at the damage he’s caused.

“I didn’t mean it Y/N. I just-there was a lot on my plate and I just had to complain about something. A-And you were there to complain about.” He spoke honestly, knowing that it doesn’t excuse his behavior. The sound of the kettle went off, the whistle tones attacking his ears while Y/N ignored it to focus on the conversation at hand.

“I just didn’t want to be a burden,” she muttered with a wobbling bounce that made the tall idiotic man pull her into his arms.

“No,no,no don’t ever ever think that again. You are not a burden. You never were Y/N. This is on me, I shouldn’t have said what I had said,” he muttered into her hair, repeating apologies like a mantra while kissing her hairline.

She let go, allowing her pent up feelings from the past few day flow out through tears while in the comfort of his arms, “my biggest fear is bothering people. I-I didn’t want to upset you.”

“You didn’t,” he pulled away to hold her tear stained cheeks in his hands, regret prominent in his gaze, “you have been nothing but patient with me these past few months and that is something I don’t even have the words to express, love.”

“You, Y/N L/N, are not a burden, not now, not ever,” he whispered lovingly. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m sorry I even said it. I didn’t mean it, but fuck I shouldn’t have. Look at what I’ve done to you,” his voice wavered as he pulled away to assess the damage. “Fuck,” he shook his head as a sob escaped his lips before he could pull her into his arms again.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, holding her tight while the whistle pierced his ears. She leaned back slightly, pressing her forehead against his while closing her eyes, “I know, I know. It’s okay. I know you. I know you wouldn’t mean it.”

“I love you,” he whispered, holding her head in one of his hands. “I love you too, Wil,” she whispered back, pulling his lips onto hers, sealing their words with this actions.

As much as he loved the feeling of her soft lips on his once again, he pulled away. “Okay, okay, as much as I don’t want this to stop, that damn kettle is driving me mad,” he expressed, making Y/N chuckle before kissing him on the cheek and going to turn off the stove.

He watched fondly as she was about to pour the water into the mugs, stoping to see the plethora of sugar in each. “Oh shit,” she paused, laughing at the mess she had made. Wilbur snapped out of his gaze, examining the scene that caused her words.

He shook his head lightly, grabbing the kettle from her hands before placing it back onto the stovetop. “You,” he turned to face her, poking her cheek, “go to bed, get all comfy and put on a film. I will finish the tea and bring it to you.” His eyes got soft towards the end of his statement as he went to assess the mug situation.

“Then,” he spoke gently, grabbing her waist once again, littering her face with kisses that trailed down her neck, “I’ll spend the whole day making it up to you.”

Y/N laughed, running her fingers through his soft hair, “can’t wait.” His lips stayed pressed onto her neck, before they made their way back to her own.

[anguigenus]

Heck, I mean, 12 years old—that's middle school. 7th grade. I know that seems young once people are in college, or even high school, but like...

Back in middle school everyone still felt like they were grownups compared to everyone else. People were dating, you were learning new and harder things, you were still a full person.

What I'm trying to say is, yeah. He's just a kid. He's younger than the others, so he has less experience and coping mechanisms than them. All this awful stuff is going to effect him more.

But at the same time, he's only two years younger. In America, he'd be in middle school. That's a full-fledged person. He's not going through this unaware like a toddler would. He knows what's happening, and he's making choices just like the rest of them.

That mixture of less experience and just as much involvement is what makes things worse for him.

Something like being stranded in the human realm is going to hit him harder. Especially because he's going through puberty. He was the only one to break down and cry in King's Tide.

However, he feels like he's just as mature as the others. He's in the same grade as them! He's a prodigy!

It becomes another problem. He thinks he should be able to handle this. He puts on a brave face. And when he falls short—though no fault of his own—he blames himself.

Like in Labyrinth Runners, where he feels like it's his fault that Adrian found out about the Looking Glass Ruins. And he's just a kid! It's not like anyone else at that school could do better. But he feels like he has to do better.

Or in Thanks to Them, when he says it's nice to see Hunter happy, because "one of us might as well be." I wonder, does he feel like he should be happy? That he should be able to have fun in the human world just like he's always dreamed of?

Even in For the Future, he blames himself for not being able to help Hunter! Thinks it's because he couldn't get himself to break the topic of grimwalkers to him! But really, Luz is the only one of them we know has experience with grief. Of course they're going to have trouble helping Hunter. But still, Gus feels like he should have done better.

To me, that struggle is one of the biggest parts of Gus' character. He IS young. And he's a prodigy surrounded by people older than him, going up against soldiers and coven heads far more experienced than him, getting caught up in a disaster—the Day of Unity and Collector—so much bigger than him.

And yet, he thinks he should be able to handle it all. He focuses on the mistakes he makes instead of realizing just how strong he's been to make it this far.

So yeah. Gus' age makes things harder for him. I think sometimes it can be hard for people to remember that. After his growth spurt, he does look older. And so often he's the comic relief bringing lightness to a scene, so it can be easy to forget he's having a hard time too.

(Anyone ever think about how he's going through all the same stress as Willow, but when she's having a breakdown and he's being actively smothered in vines, he's still able to stay calm and assure her that he's okay, and that she can let it out? Because oof. That's one strong kid.)

Though as a quick qualifier, I think it can be a disservice to his character to focus too much on his youth. I've seen him portrayed as just the "little-brother comic relief" character quite a few times before. He is young, but he is also just as capable as the others in many ways. And really, that contrast is what brings out the most interesting parts of him. Both in angst, and in happier things.

I truly feel like we, as a fandom, don’t talk about or take Gus’ pain seriously. He’s twelve. He’s a baby. And he’s constantly doubting himself, blaming himself, sometimes outright hating himself. And again, he’s just a kid.

[wakandan-smuts-forever]

INSTINCT- a spiritual prequel

Dedicated to @tchallasbabymama 's best one shot (imo)!

Rating: 18+ Smut Warning: Heats, Knots, lowkey BDSM Pairing: T'Chaka x Ramonda Work Count: 667 (yeah it's tiny)

Ramonda could say that her husband was considerably more aged than most people of his birth-year. T’Chaka’s greys had begun showing quite early, right after his first born hit puberty, and his physique smoothening out from its overtly sinewy terrain.

She had to say that this was an improvement in not only his appearance but his temper as well. The fiery, young man had mellowed around the edges yet still maintained his frame of dignified power. Now that was something she could work with…

(Birnin Zana, 1999)

His breath hitched. Her beautiful lips met the bulbous end of his shaft as her glistening hand worked up and down its dark, earthy length. And the other hand, snaked ever so gently over the rolling planes of his salt-and-pepper-dusted chest.

A sliver of grey showed at her crown, powdering her hair at its base. The King’s thumb traced it as his palm gently held a handful of locs to guide her head downward. Her fingers traced blind patterns along his breast, handling a nipple now and then.

She could feel the purring growl building up under them.

“Mm-.. ‘Chaka…” She resurfaced, smirking at him.

But her smile faded with what she saw.

~

“AHHHhhh!”

The Ex- Dora could hardly be caught moaning so helplessly; but here she was at the hands of her Black Panther…

“T- T’Chaka… ohhHH!”

The powerful thrust of his large member followed the expert massaging of her clitoris as she lay, back down on the bed. Pleasure engulfed her, but so did shock:

His eyes were shining. And they were pure gold.

She closed her eyes, trying to absorb it.

~

Ramonda had heard of heats before. It was an inevitable discussion when getting married to the spiritual hybrid of a man and animal.

It was a slightly awkward conversation T’Chaka had with T’Challa when he turned eighteen.

And it was also what just happened.

T’Chaka groaned heavily as his body convulsed into hers, spilling all its seed into the depths of her soul.

“Ramonda, sithandwa….” he croaked, not surprisingly, since he had quite literally roared the first two times he came in her that night.

The Queen was still shocked… but now sated and in a mild state of ecstasy at his performance.

“’Chaka…”

                     “Mmm…”

“Are you… okay ?”

                      “Ramonda.”

He heaved a little, finally making eye contact with his usual, brown pupils. “ umhle…” He repeated to her. “ I should be asking you that…”

The Queen exhaled, grinning. And began giggling-

“Oh well, I hope I get out of bed in a week or so…”

T’Chaka smiled weakly. “Umhle, this was… unprecedented.”

“I was told to expect it…”

“That was more than two decades ago. And I’ve never had it before, and I thought…. I’d never have one.”

They stayed there in silence for a while, with T’Chaka’s still-swollen member remaining within her vagina.

“Once it dissipates, we’re going to check you up.” He whispered, referring to the knot that had formed. “I’m not risking any unattended injury…”

Ramonda nodded. “What about you? does it hurt?”

“Bound to…” He spoke with the same whisper, gingerly resting half his weight to a pillow on their side. “ My body is stretching its physiological limits and- AH!”

“T’Chaka?”

                    “MMmh!”

“What happened?”

“I-” He panted. “I think I had some… stray orgasmic wave. That’s what it felt like…”

The Queen sighed in relief, running her palms across his shoulders.

“Ndiyakuthanda…”

T’Chaka smirked. “Even though you’re not walking for a few days?”

“Maybe because.”

They chuckled together, as they found themselves loosening up. Ramonda painfully drew her legs together, allowing a load of semen to gush out and stick to her pussy hair in a creampie. T’Chaka would have generally dove in, but considering his state, it was understandable for him to fall back onto the sheets, gently holding his bloodshot member in one hand.

They relaxed and kissed, and lay down for a minute before Ramonda suddenly realized something:

“I’m… on my ovulation, aren’t I?”

[keanureevesisbae]

oblivious - c.1

Summary: Ivy Sullivan not only meets her new neighbor Erin, she finally discovers what the name of her grumpy neighbor is.

Captain Syverson x Ivy Sullivan

Wordcount: 2.4k

Warning: Mentions of parents who passed away

Masterlist // Oblivious masterlist // Previous chapter

When I was younger, it was often said that I had too much energy. I honestly don’t think there is a thing such as ‘too much energy’, especially not with children. Besides, maybe the other kids I was surrounded by were just borderline comatose and couldn’t keep up with me and that, my dear friends, is simply not my fault.

Working at the local gym as both a personal trainer, pilates instructor, HIIT trainer and the body combat instructor, means I get plenty of exercise in on a daily basis and also have an outlet for my apparently excessive energy level I still have.

By the time I get home from my day at work, I quickly take a shower and change into one of my billion sports sets. Having a job that requires a lot of athleisure, makes me nearly forget I have to buy clothes consisting of jeans, blouses and dresses.

I mean, I have to be a little bit presentable from time to time.

The move to Lubbock, Texas was an odd one, I agree, but there was no way I’d stay one more second in my hometown: Denver, Colorado.

At least the place I should call home, but never quite got to.

From the minute I was born, it was evident my parents didn’t want me. At least, their families didn’t want me. They were teen parents and had to give me up. They went across state lines, dumped me into the system and from that moment on I was stuck in the damn system.

But, the woman who handled my case was always positive. Every time I was adopted, she told me that this could be it. I got adopted three times, but was returned very quickly because the families and I weren’t a match. I was too much for them and they couldn’t deal with me.

It was okay, because I hated getting attached to people and going from foster place to foster place was more my thing. Okay, that isn’t true, but not attaching to people became a comfortable normal for me.

I grab my watering can, fill it with water and decide to water my plants. Sure, I’d like to watch a movie as I’m preparing dinner, but the flowers and plants look very very sad in my front yard and it made me feel bad.

I walk outside and as I’m watering some plants, I see a girl with light brown hairs strolling in the middle of the road. It’s kinda late for a young girl to be wandering outside. ‘Hey, little one,’ I say from my porch and she looks up. ‘What on earth you doing here? It’s late.’

‘Sorry miss,’ she sniffles. Oh no, is she crying?

I place the watering can on the ground. ‘You okay?’

She walks over to the sidewalk and shakes her head. ‘No, I hate my life.’

Oh dear, she is already in that puberty phase? I was sixteen when I came to the conclusion that my life pretty much sucked, but how old is this girl? Twelve tops.

‘Why do you hate your life?’ I ask her.

She takes a deep sigh and says: ‘Well, my parents died four weeks ago, my stupid uncle now has to take care of me and my sisters and he hates taking care of us.’

Okay, reasons enough to hate her life, I’ll give her that. Poor thing. ‘Damn,’ I mumble, before realizing it isn’t a wise idea to say “damn” in front of a preteen. I remember when I was her age, if not younger, and I knew my fair share of—and I quote—“bad words”. I got in tons of trouble. I pretend I didn’t just say “damn” and walk over to her to say: ‘Why are you wandering around at this hour? I honestly hate to be that type of woman, but it’s rather unsafe for you to walk around this time. I mean, something barely happens here, but leave it for now that—’

Maybe, I shouldn’t be talking about serial killers and rapists to a young girl. Especially since she is still so young. The fact I knew about this way too soon in my life, doesn’t mean I need to tell her all the ins and outs of awful people right here on my lawn.

‘You know, forget about that. Let me get you home. Where do you live?’

‘Down the road,’ she says. ‘A few doors over.’

‘Really?’

She nods. ‘Number 124.’

Wait a minute, I think I know who her stupid uncle is. This son of a bitch literally drove his truck passed my house a few months back, when I was moving and he didn’t even offer his help after he gawked at me. The other day I saw him, with a figurative thunder storm roaring above his head, so I kinda get it when the girl says he is her stupid uncle and I’m not surprised he hates taking care of her and her sisters.

He looks like a jerk.

‘Okay, well, let me get you home,’ I say. ‘It’s getting later and he must be worried.’

She scoffs. ‘As if.’

Okay, she is not moving and while I spend my fair share of time in a gym, I don’t know if I can drag a recalcitrant girl her height all the way down the road. ‘What’s your name?’ I ask her instead.

‘I’m Erin.’

‘That’s a cute name. I’m Ivy,’ I say. I look at my Apple Watch and suggest: ‘How about you come in? I can offer you a drink, something to eat, maybe a jacket and after that we start walking towards your place?’

Her eyes start to sparkle. ‘Really?’

‘Really, Erin,’ I say with a smile and together we walk inside.

She sits down at my bar and looks around. ‘You have a lovely home, miss Ivy.’

‘Thank you, darling.’ This is the first house I actually own myself and don’t have to share with sleazy figures and a hallway rat family. I love off white, some blush pink and tons of accessories. I maybe went a tad bit overboard, but it’s my house, so I don’t care about other people’s opinions.

Though Erin saying I have a lovely home, does strike a cord.

I grab a water bottle from the fridge and give her a heads up to catch it. Her reflexes are better than I expected, because she catches it out of the air. ‘Nice.’ I grab a chocolate bar and sit on the other side of the bar. ‘Okay, now tell me: why do you hate your life and why did you walk away from home?’

‘It’s not my home,’ she bites back.

‘You want some chocolate?’ I ask her and she nods. ‘Then watch your tone.’

She nods again. ‘Sorry. It’s just that my uncle is being super unfair. He constantly tells me that I have to help him, like I’m some sort of second mom, which I’m not.’

‘Clearly,’ I say. ‘So, lemme get this straight: your parents die—which I’m really sorry to hear—and then your uncle has to take care of you and your sisters?’

Erin nods. ‘Yeah. He’s my dad’s brother.’

‘And I take it that you aren’t close to him?’

‘No, he has been in the military since way before I was born. I hardly know him.’

‘Must be hard then,’ I say, ‘losing your parents, moving in with some random uncle you don’t know.’

‘Exactly,’ Erin exclaims, ‘and now I’m like a second mom to my sisters, which I never had to be when my parents were still alive.’

‘Your uncle got a wife?’

Erin cocks an eyebrow and I quickly roll my eyes.

‘No, not like that. It’s more because I’m wondering if he or someone close to him has experience with taking care of kids. Usually that’s a wife, which is kinda sexist, I now realize.’

She shakes her head. ‘But what has that to do with anything?’

‘Well,’ I say, ‘maybe he is figuring out how to take care of you and your sisters. I mean, you told me he was in the military. I don’t think he has a lot of experience in dealing with young kids. How old are your sisters?’

‘Six and three.’

Oh, isn’t that absolutely darling? I shrug. ‘Some people are not born to be educators nor parents. Really, some people are absolutely clueless and I’m betting a lot of money that your uncle is one.’

‘But he is an adult,’ Erin says. ‘Shouldn’t he get his act together?’

I break a piece of chocolate, pushing it in the middle. ‘Maybe, but you know: he lost your parents too and now he has to take care of three young girls. That’s a bit of a change, going from military to parent basically.’

‘Are you taking his side?’

Erin has mastered the bitchy tone again, so I cock my eyebrow. ‘What did I say to you about that tone, missy?’

‘Sorry,’ she says, before she sighs deeply. ‘But, are you? Taking his side?’

‘No, honey, I’m trying to humanize him for you a little bit. Maybe instead of running away, you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel.’

‘I tried,’ Erin says, ‘but that never works. He barely listens to me, except when I say something he doesn’t like. Then all of the sudden he listens to me.’

This girl got it all figured out and that I applaud.

‘Men can be like that,’ I say. ‘It’s annoying, I agree.’

She smiles. ‘Can I ask you something else?’

I nod.

‘You have a boyfriend?’

That is indeed totally something else. I can’t stop my laugh, as I shake my head. ‘No, I don’t.’

‘So, I take it you don’t have kids?’

I shake my head again. ‘Nope, don’t have that either.’

‘Then why do you know so much about kids and parents then? Your advice, it seemed so, teacher like.’

I start to smile. ‘Well, I’m not a teacher nor a parent. Grew up around a lot of kids.’

‘How so? You have a lot of siblings?’ Her eyes seem to sparkle again and I almost say that I do have a lot of siblings.

But on the other hand, maybe I shouldn’t beat around the bush. Maybe I’ll see her again and then I have to confess I lied to her. ‘I grew up in foster care,’ I say. ‘Was adopted a few times, returned the same amount of times and after a while, you’re too old to be adopted, because people want babies. So, I was in foster care with a lot of other kids.’

‘That must’ve been hard,’ Erin says.

I nod. ‘It was, but you know what it taught me?’

She shakes her head.

‘That some people are born parents, some people learn to be parents and some are just plain unfit. Your uncle might not be a born parent, but there is a possibility that he can learn to be. It’s unfair to you and your sisters of course that you are going to face some, if not all of his mistakes and hurtful words, but these things take time. He wasn’t a parent and now all of the sudden he is. He hasn’t gotten time to adjust to this idea, like others. He is gifted three girls out of the blue.’

She takes a bite of the chocolate. ‘You know, you’re like an old lady trapped in a young woman’s body.’

I start to laugh. ‘Oh, aren’t you hilarious. I’ve been giving you water, feeding you chocolate and that is how you thank me?’

She chuckles. ‘Thank you, miss Ivy.’

‘Of course, kid. I’m just glad you’re able to smile again and if my old lady advice helped, then I’ll just take it. Okay, now it’s time for you to go home and because I’m a lovely and caring woman, I’ll walk you there myself.’

Erin nods. ‘Miss Ivy, can I ask you something?’

‘Sure thing, Erin.’

‘Can I hang out with you from time to time? I… I sometimes need to get my mind ordered and I feel like you could help me. Me being here could help me.’

I smile, especially when she hooks her arm through mine when I stand next to her. ‘Sure, I work though, so you have to check if I’m home or not, okay?’

‘What do you do for work?’ she asks when we walk out of the door.

‘I’m an instructor at the gym close by. I teach yoga, HIT training and sometimes do a little bit of personal training if someone needs my help.’

‘That’s so cool,’ she says. ‘You’re cool.’

‘Oh, honey, you’re flattering me.’

The walk to her house is literally two minutes. I walk up the porch, nearly dragging the young girl with me. ‘No, no, no, no,’ I say, ‘I gave you shelter for the time being, food and drinks and great old lady advice. Now you get your tush right here.’

‘I hate you,’ she says, but she is not serious. I like how she’s comfortable with me already. I already know I’m great with kids, but for years I barely was around them, because I did courses, worked a lot and didn’t have friends who had kids.

I knock on the door, when I find out that she doesn’t have a key. The door opens and the man I had in mind when she described him to me, is indeed her uncle. ‘Hello,’ I say, ‘I’m here to hand you back your niece.’

‘Where have you been?’

Okay, once a military man, always a military man. I’ve been adopted once by a former military couple and boy, did they not know how to take care of me.

‘Out,’ she grumbles.

‘Damn it, Erin, what have I told you?’

I now know I can say damn in front of Erin. Don’t know if that’s good, but still, I now can. ‘Don’t worry, she was at my place.’

‘Get inside.’

Okay, he is totally ignoring me. Piece of shit. ‘I think we got off on the wrong foot. My name is Ivy, I live down the road and—’

‘Yeah, sure,’ he says, not sparing me a look. ‘Go to your room.’

I roll my eyes again and I look over at Erin. She simply nods. ‘Bye Ivy,’ she says.

‘Bye Erin.’ I look at her uncle and say: ‘Be kind to her.’

He ignores me, which I’m not surprised at, but he spares me one look, before closing the door behind him.

Son of a bitch.

☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎

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