#hand press juicer

[m1d-45]

And you, teddy anon (and midas ofc), never fail to come up with scenarios that my mind is all too happy to jump on. ❤️

Imagine then, after the Creator has finally been rescued and tended to, they finally wake up after sleeping for a very long time, they see that they’re in a painfully familiar, urban place. Upon realising that they’re not in, say, a hilichurl camp or are otherwise in the wilds, they panic and scramble to try and leave (they think that they’re still being hunted). Then in comes one of their characters (or they bump into them in a corridor or sth).

Off the top of my head, I see a few directions that this could go:

1. Creator tries to plead with the character to let them leave, or are otherwise trying to find an opportunity to escape. Due to their panicked state, they interpret their character’s gestures as hostile or are otherwise trying to trick them into lowering their guard. Maybe they were betrayed by someone (or that one in particular) during the hunt (I can see characters like Kaeya and Ayato doing this) and they’ve been very guarded against similar tactics since. Bonus points if they have the ability to teleport like the Traveler does.

2. Creator tries to defend themselves with their budding elemental power that they are just starting to learn to control.

3. Creator outright gives up. They shake their head, thinking themself foolish for ever believing that they could escape forever, that this was their just desserts for even trying to defy fate. They smile at their character and tell them that they win, and to go ahead and end them. More likely if said character had been extremely persistent in hunting them (e.g. Kaeya). Imagine then that they’re bracing themselves for the final blow, but then they feel warmth. They open their eyes in shock and realise that the character is hugging them close, whispering, “I’m sorry”, or “Forgive me” over and over again. Maybe the character even cries a little.

- cryo anon, whose brain can actually come up with fluff occasionally

oh my god cryo anon my dearly beloved

they’re kinda just merged together because i kinda went off so

you maybe waking up in the estate, sitting up on shaking arms. you don’t remember much, mostly just a blur; thoma shouting at you, a white kimono and a sharp, commanding voice. the details are a haze, and the room you’re in is unidentifiable. there’s a potted plant in a white and purple vase, a dark wood closet, the sheets soft- or maybe they’re not, and you’re simply used to dirt and scratchy sacks?

you don’t know. you have a headache. the door opens, and you delay so long in turning that the person has a chance to shout something down the hallway—does wonders for your migraine—before coming in. when you do look, you wish you hadn’t.

ayato is the last person you want to see on inazuma. you’d met him once before, banged up and hiding near inazuma city. he’d seen you, you thought, seen your blood, your dirty bandages and knotted hair, and you thought he’d known that you couldn’t be a threat.

you didn’t hear what he said, but you pull away from his hand when he reaches for you anyway. where are you? why are you here? your hands were wrapped, your aches had ceased, the room is cool and his eyes are warm-

“i mean no harm,” he says quietly, but all you can think of is the past, of the bustling streets behind him when he found you tucked in an alley, bruised and bleeding.

you don’t want to believe him. you don’t anyway.

if it weren’t for the fact that your legs were broken, you would have run away.

[anmolsmsblog]

CLUB BOLLYWOOD® Manual Juicer Press Orange Hand Juicer Citrus Presser Party Lemon Squeezer Blue | Kitchen, Dining & Bar | Small Kitchen Appliances |Home & Garden |Juicers

Price: (as of – Details) Description:Quality: Made of high quality acrylic materials, durable and wear resistant.Practical Wedge Squeezer: Stylish hand juicer, lime and lemon juicer, Just chop your lemon or lime into wedges, use wedge and press it into the citrus squeezer, then pour the juice into the salad, fish, seafood, or cocktail.Easy to Maintain: Easy to Clean for kitchen,…

[behirin]

Buy Hand Press Juicer This handy and efficient juicer is perfect for extracting the goodness from your favorite fruits and vegetables. Its ergonomic design and sturdy construction make it easy to use and ensure long-lasting durability. Simply place your fruit or vegetable onto the juicing cone, apply gentle pressure with the hand press, and watch as the juicer extracts every last drop of juice.

[loveandleases]

I'm laying awake at almost midnight and was hit by a thoughtTM

If I play a chef MC then thinking since those bitches had the audacity to fuck in my KITCHEN OF ALL PLACES, I'd lose my shit. YOU FUCKED IN THE MOST SACRED PLACE OF THE WHOLE HOUSE, THOSE COUNTERS MUST REMAIN PRISTINE YOU DUMB COW.

You bet your ass I'd take every single kitchen gadget, doesn't matter how many boxes it takes me. Juicer mixer slow cooker you name it, you'd be lucky if I leave you the coffee pot and toaster as a courtesy. I bought those things with my hard earned (read: not Daddy's) money, slaved myself on the oven for hours to make you food filled with love and care. YOU DONT DESERVE MY FOOD. STARVE LIKE THE STREET DOG YOU ARE CHRIS.

Sorry I think Gordon Ramsay possessed me for a bit there. Anyways-

Imagine poor Cam and cabinets full of machines he doesn't understand lmao

🤣 The counters will never be clean again. Forever sullied by that transgression. You won't have to worry about having someone to carry it at least. The cabinets in the shared apartment will be so full (worth it). ---

Cam reaches into the cabinet, pulling out what he can only assume is some sort of weapon.

“What the hell is this thing? Why does it have all these... holes?” he asks, holding up a cheese grater like it’s a cursed relic.

Before you can warn him, he presses a finger to one of the sharp edges. He yelps, pulling his hand back to examine the reddening cut.

“It cut me!”

“Well, yeah. That’s kind of the point,” you reply, struggling to keep a straight face.

He glares at you, the look on his face almost enough to make you feel guilty. Almost.

But then, something shiny catches his eye. He dives back into the cabinet, pulling out a stick blender, a serrated knife he dramatically dubs “for thine enemies,” and a whisk that he immediately uses as a makeshift sword.

“You know,” he says, striking a pose with the whisk, “I could use some of these to make us dinner—”

“No!”

His mismatched eyes widen as he meets your gaze, his bottom lip jutting out in an exaggerated pout.

“But—”

“You’re banned, Cam.”

“I can do better!” He clasps his hands in front of you, as though pleading for his life.

His gaze flickers to a new blender still in its box, and his face lights up like a kid on Christmas morning.

“Where are you looking?” you ask, suspicious.

“Wha—ah... nowhere.” His eyes dart back to the blender, betraying him instantly.

You sigh, already picturing the chaos that would ensue. Maybe you should invest in some cabinet locks—for both of your sakes.

[daydreams-after-dark]

Jisung is obsessed with your ass and wants to try some anal play, even though you’ve never tried anything, he knows you’re going to love it.

MDNI Han jisung x fem reader. Contains unprotected p in v sex, anal fingering, oral sex, vaginal fingering.

5 minute read

“Ji! That’s not my-“

“I know, baby.” He brought his finger up to his mouth to wet it before bringing it back to your asshole. “I know what I’m doing.”

“But-“

“Shh. Trust me.” He hushed you. “Let me play with it.”

You and your new boyfriend Jisung were lying on your bed face to face, on your sides, deep in a make out session, when his fingers roamed a little further than they ever had before. He’d already gotten you dripping wet from just teasing your vagina entrance and rubbing your arousal all over your throbbing clit. You were now at that point where you were craving for him to push his fingers, or if you were honest, his cock, inside your cunt.

“Pop on all fours for me baby. I think I know a way you’ll really enjoy it.” He tapped the mattress.

This was position you had been in when he first had the urge to play with your ass. When he first fucked you from behind. The neglected little hole was practically daring him to touch it as he pounded into your delicious little cunt.

“Mmm, that’s my good girl.” He praised as you nestled down on your forearms, sticking your ass in the air. Fuck. He loved seeing everything on display in this position. He let his hands explore your juicy thighs and even juicer cheeks, squeezing them and jiggling them in his grip.

He had to taste you.

He bent down behind you and lapped at your pussy greedily, sucking and squeezing tongue inside of your wet cunt. The way you moaned made his dick throb.

“Oh Ji… feels so good.” You keened, already wobbly on your knees.

You gasped when his tongue slid from your pussy to your ass and pressed against it with his tongue.

“Ji, I-I’m not sure…” you protested, trying to wriggle away.

“Do you want me to stop? Because baby you know I will, but…fuck… it’s begging me for attention.”

You relaxed against him and he hoped this meant you trusted him, and he resumed eating you out. Delicately. Slowly, and when he heard your breathing becoming laboured, he knew you were enjoying it. But he had to be sure. “Say you want me to stop.” He pressed.

You hesitated, and Jisung held his breath hoping you wanted him to continue. Eventually you spoke, a quiet little “please,..yes, keep going.”

Jisung could’ve jumped for joy, but he composed himself, and focused on the task at hand. He swirled a flat tongue around the rim of your ass, then used the tip of his tongue to delicately lick your opening. You moaned and pushed back on his face. “Yes, Ji.”

Jisung pulled away with a growl and squeezed your asscheeks. “You’re fucking perfect baby. Your body is loving this… your cunt’s fucking gushing.” He slid two fingers into your vagina and continued his assault with his tongue.

Your body was responding so beautifully for him, the tight ring of muscle relaxing just enough for his tongue to slip inside slightly.

“Oh, fuck. Ji!” You choked while your walls squeezed around his fingers. Jisung held your hip steady with his free hand and pulled you further onto his face. He loved your pussy. He loved your ass. Fuck, he loved you. He had a feeling he’d be telling you sometime soon. But right now he needed to fuck you.

Although he desperately wanted to squeeze his cock into your ass, he knew that would be too much too soon. Maybe another time. Definitely another time, he thought taking in the sight of your pretty holes. Fuck, he wished he had two cocks and could fill you up to the brim. You’d look so perfect stuffed with two dicks. Maybe you’d be up for a friend of his to join sometime! Jisung was getting ahead of himself.

He positioned himself behind you, and pressed his thumb to your rim, applying just a slight amount of pressure. With his cock in his other hand he slid the tip through your folds from your entrance to your clit.

You made a pretty little sound. A desperate whimper, and he could see you relaxing. You were dripping, the head of his cock gathering copious amounts of your arousal as he dragged it along your slit.

“Let’s slick up your ass now.” He said and using his fingers he gathered your wetness from your cunt and smeared it onto your asshole. “You’re being such a good girl for me.” He cooed. “I’m gonna make you feel really good now.”

Jisung lined up his cock with your vagina and slowly pushed into your warm, wet cunt. At the same time he pressed his thumb against your ass.

“Fuck, baby. You’re so tight around me.” He said shakily as he sunk himself into you, while your tight ring of muscle gave way to accept the intrusion of his thumb.

“Ji…” you whimpered and buried your head in the mattress.

“You’re doing good baby. Taking me so well. I know you can take more.” He was only inside you to his first knuckle, he needed you to take more.

He withdrew his cock halfway and as he thrusted back in he pushed his thumb in a little further. You squeezed around him so tight and you groaned low. Jisung may not have known you for long, but he knew that when you started to groan like this it meant you were losing yourself to the moment. It was when you wanted him to go harder, to fuck you properly. It was when your inhibitions dropped and you were running on pure desire, chasing pleasure.

This was going perfectly.

He increased the intensity of his thrusts and inched his thumb into your ass until it was all the way in and he could rest his fingers on your lower spine.

You were sobbing underneath him, grinding your hips back seeking a deeper penetration.

“Baby, talk to me. How are you feeling?”

“Mmmm mmmm…” you couldn’t find your words.

“That good huh?” He chuckled. “You feel full baby?”

“Y-yes… s’full…so sretched.”

“Yeah? Wait till I fill your ass with my cock.” Jisung sped up his rhythm, thrusting hard into you. “I think you’d really like that.”

He started to push and pull his thumb in time with his thrusts, the drag of his digit in and out of your hole intensifying the sensations. You took your own fingers to your clit and rubbed desperately, chasing your release. Jisung felt your entire body clamp down around him. Around his dick. Around his thumb. He could see your thighs and abdominals tense up. Yes. So perfect. All for him.

“That’s it baby. Come on my cock. Come on my cock…then I can fill you up with my cum. Would you like that baby?…. Then do it. Make a mess all over me.”

He fucked into you hard, not changing the rhythm and bringing you to breaking point.

“Fuckkk!!!!!” You cried out, exploding all over Jisung, your arousal gushing out around his cock. He withdrew his thumb and gripped onto your hips to hold you in place while he chased his own orgasm.

You were a floppy mess under him now, like you had lost all strength, moaning incoherently. Such a mess. So pretty.

With a few hard snaps of his hips Jisung released himself deep inside you. “I love filling you up like this baby.” He growled making sure you took every last drop of him.

“Cockslut.” You mumbled from the mattress.

“Hmm? What, baby?” Had he heard you correctly?

“I’m your cockslut.” You whispered. “This pussy…this ass… it’s yours, Jisung.”

Jisung collapsed on the bed beside you and pulled you close. “Baby… more like your pussy owns me.”

@channieandhisgoonsquad @chansbabyg @noellllslut @itshannjisung @kangnina @weareapackofstrays @newhope8 @fun-fanfics

[otomehonyaku]

Diabolik Lovers Lost Eden Stellaworth Tokuten Short Stories スペシャル特典小冊子 ☽ Kino ver.

This short story booklet was part of the Stellaworth set for Lost Eden! Keep reading below the cut for Kino's version. With this, all of the Lost Eden short stories have been translated! I will be continuing with the translation of the DL novelization, for one, and I will be taking translation requests as well. Please let me know what other DL-related media you would like me to translate ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

S ☽ [Ayato’s version by @kyouxa] [Laito’s version by @kyouxa] [Shuu’s version] [Reiji’s version] [Kanato’s version] [Subaru’s version]

M ☽ [Ruki’s version] [Yuma's version] [Kou’s version] [Azusa’s version]

TK ☽ [Carla’s version] [Shin’s version] [Kino’s version]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

As always, special thanks to @karleksmumskladdkaka for providing the scans ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ Please do not reuse or post my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I have been living in the so-called Promised Land, together with her and the ghouls. Worlds apart from Rotigenberg, life here is rather pleasant. Beautiful flowers were growing in abundance by the edge of the crystal-clear lake. When I opened the window, the gently blowing wind carried the fresh, flowery scent inside. I no longer needed to grimace at those unpleasant smells, reminiscent of rotting figs, from back then. It seemed that everyone–including Yuri and the ghouls, seemed to be content with this way of living. So did she.

And she… is a human. In truth, there was no doubt that living in the human world must have been more comfortable for her, and yet she chose to remain by my side so that I wouldn’t be alone…

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Of course, there was no phone reception here–my smart phone games were out of the question, then–but I did not for a moment feel bored. It must have been because she was there with me. I could not put the feeling into words, but I felt that it was true.

“Hey, Kino, is this…” she started, looking at the big box sitting in the kitchen.

“Oh, that. I asked Ayato to send some stuff over from the human world. Take a look inside.”

She nodded. In the box were guavas. When I was drinking my beloved guava juice the other day, a fun idea had suddenly occurred to me.

“Let’s squeeze them and make guava juice. Don’t you think it’ll be way more delicious than store-bought juice? You’ve wanted to try it too, right?”

She smiled in agreement. We stood side by side at the counter and quickly got to work.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Come to think of it, we didn’t have any helpful appliances like juicers around here. It couldn’t be helped, so she reached for the lemon squeezer on one of the shelves and used it on the guavas.

“How does it look? I wonder if it’ll turn out okay…”

When I looked over to her hands, I saw that she had somehow managed to squeeze juice out of it. The sweet-sour scent of guava filled my nostrils. It seemed that she learned the ropes rather quickly, given the speed at which she picked up the halved guavas and pressed them onto the squeezer. It seemed that my beloved guava juice would be ready in no time. However, while we were at it…

“Hey, it looks kinda fun. Let me try,” I said. I took the guava from her hands and pressed it onto the lemon squeezer. However, I was a little bit too rough. The guava juice flew through the air.

“Woah!”

“Ah!”

While I had been quick to dodge the juice, she hadn’t, and it all ended up on her face.

“Haha! Look at you, your face!” I said, laughing, while she struggled to wipe off the juice. “No, hold on. I’ll clean you up.”

I pulled her close and ran my tongue over her cheek, lapping up the juice. Compared to the usual bottled guava juice, it was a little bit more sour, but I thought this was just a little better.

“Mm… delicious. Give me another taste.” I didn’t wait for her answer and moved first to her brow, then to her other cheek, licking up the guava juice. The longer it went on, the redder her face became.

Recently, I had gone easy on her, but I couldn’t resist teasing her in this state. It was just too fun. I couldn’t help it.

“Fresh juice really hits different, doesn’t it? C’mon, one more taste…”

This time, I kissed her. I savoured the taste of the guava juice on her lips. However, somehow, the sour tang that I had tasted earlier was gone. It was now purely sweet, addictively so. This flavour…

“It tastes so damn good. Can I have some more?” I broke away from the kiss for only a brief moment to whisper to her. Before long, my lips met hers once again.

[cnidocyst]

Ibis paint compilation. From me to you

[ IMAGE ID 1: Franky and Chopper, post time skip, gleefully saying good morning to Sanji while he cooks breakfast. Franky is saying "good fucking morning! Explosion emoji, champagne emoji, American flag emoji, a couple muscle and explosion emojis. Rise and grind gamers! Explosion emoji anchor emoji". Chopper is riding on his shoulder and a png of an illustration of a butterfly with two flowers is pasted over his head. It says "Good morning blessing, may your day be filled with lots of laughter, love, and happy thoughts!" Sanji has both hands holding onto the handle of two different skillets on the stove, one for eggs and bacon, the other for vegetables. He is pressing an orange onto a hand juicer with one of his feet and replies "morning." He looks tired, his hair is unkempt and his shirt it stained with sweat. There's also a doodle of a four legged blue hairless critter with bug eyes i forgot to crop out./END ID 1]

[ID 2: Kaku driving the apple car from The Busy World of Richard Scarry, drawn from a side view. /END ID 2]

[ID 3: An unspecified straw hat (probably Luffy) holds up a wet newborn reindeer with big bulging eyes up to Franky's face. Post time skip. Franky recoils and someone offscreen says "Look Franky, Chopper just had a baby" with a smiling face emoticon. /END ID 3]

[ID 4: Doodles of Franky, pre time skip. All drawn from the chest up. In the top left hand corner, he's wearing a pink shirt and is noticeably fatter than in canon. He looks surprised. In the bottom right hand corner he's glancing up at something to the top right, his arms resting on a non specific surface. He's wearing a t shirt and has thick blue eyebrows. There's an unfinished sketch in the middle of franky and Robin making a heart with their hands. Robin spawns a second hand curving downwards on top of her real hand so it matches Franky's hand in height. /END ID]

[kigozula]

As Long As We’re Together - Sokkla Saturdays 2024

Day 2

FF.net & AO3

Leaves were falling. Apples were tasting juicer. Spicy scents all around the air. Autumn arrived.

The Fire Nation was the "summer nation". But it still got colder in the winter season, and colorful in autumn. At this time of year the view from the palace was particularly nice.

"I'm telling you Azula, Dragon Town has the best pumpkins!" Sokka said enthusiastically.

"Oh really, and how often did you eat their pumpkins I wonder?" Azula asked skeptically.

Sokka blinked blankly, "Well, never!"

Azula rolled her eyes at that.

"But Mai told that Dragon Town grow the best ones. And my wife deserves the best of everything!" he said smiling.

Azula smiled warmly back at him, a hand on her growing belly. She reached the sixth month of her pregnancy. Their first child. If Sokka was already protective and loving towards Azula, it doubled after finding out about her pregnancy.

Right after she said she wanted pumpkins, Sokka jumped up and informed himself where the best pumpkins were found.

"So does our baby." Sokka leaned forward and caressed Azula's baby bump. Pressing a soft kiss to her cheek while doing so. Azula closed her eyes, enjoying his cuteness.

"Okay, you win Sokka. We are going to Dragon Twon.” she said.

Sokka looked questioningly at her.

"No, I won't have you travel such a long way in this state Azula. I promise I'll be quick. You will have the pumpkin this afternoon."

"I can travel Sokka. And it's not like we're away too long. It's a 40-minute drive from the city." she said.

"But..."

"Besides, I want to see the pumpkin patch. I want to spend the leisure time with you. It's not cold outside." she told him.

Sokka looked at her. Slowly his lips curved upwards, while he watched her small smile, the glowing beautiful eyes he got lost so long ago. He caved in. How would he say no to her.

The carriage ride wasn't bumpy. Which was a relief for both Azula and Sokka. More for him honestly, since he feared it wouldn't be good for Azula and the baby.

Reaching their destination, they fooled around while looking for the best pumpkin. Azula laughed a lot at her handsome husband. It ended with them buying five pumpkins.

The golden sun slowly set when they reached the palace. Sokka insisted to cook for Azula. She decided to make desert. They weren't the best cooks and had a palace cook. But it gave them joy to use the kitchen every now and then.

Pumpkin soup and pastry were on the table.

"You're getting better at this love." Azula said while drinking her soup.

"Well, I’m learning since our marriage." Sokka said proudly, "I’m curious about this pumpkin desert of yours. Never had one actually."

"Oh, I promise you are going to love it." she said.

After finishing their food, they sat comfortably on the couch to eat the desert. The pumpkin was cut in small pieces before cooked with brown sugar. Topped with tahini and walnuts after that.

Sokka intensely focused on the taste of it, making humming noises of satisfaction.

"Azula, how come I never ate this, it's sooooo sooooooo good!" he said while still chewing.

"How about you eat it slowly and enjoy the taste Sokka?"

"No no no, I can't, it's too good!" gobbling down the pumpkins.

"My mom used to make these. I always liked it. But somehow this year, I constantly thought of them. Well, about everything with pumpkins actually." she said.

Sokka smiled and sat next to her. He caressed the baby bump and kissed her head.

"Might be our little one doubled your love for it." he said.

"Might be." Azula said, putting her hands onto his over her belly.

"Are you tired love?" Sokka asked her gently.

"Just a little, it feels good like this right now."

They cuddled all through the evening, making jokes and having deep talks.

"I have a girl name in mind." Azula said suddenly.

"Let me guess: Nayla?" Sokka said.

Azula looked up to his face, "How did you know?"

Sokka looked smirking at her, "You once told me, that when you have a girl, Nayla is a name you liked."

Azula was surprised yet smiled at the memory.

"You really remember?" she asked.

"Of course I do Azula! I remember everything you said to me love." he said pecking her lips.

"And? How do you like the name?"

"What is the meaning?"

"The one who reaches her goals."

"Well, I like both the sound of it and the meaning. Nayla." he said as if trying how it sounds.

"I am fearing of asking but doing it anyway: do you have names in mind. Especially a boy name."

Sokka chuckled at her reaction.

"I don't know honestly. I had already Nayla in mind since the pregnancy. I thought we would find one together in case it's a boy."

"Wait! You already accepted Nayla?"

"Yes I did." he replied.

Azula got tears in her eyes.

"Azula? Hey now, what is it?" Sokka asked worriedly.

"Sometimes,... you just... I ..." she couldn't speak so she just pressed her face into the crook of his neck and held his shirt with her hands.

Sokka hugged her tightly, caressing her hair, "You don't have to cry love." he said into her hair.

"I love you so much, never leave me Sokka. Never ever okay?" Azula said in between tears.

Sokka pulled away, hoping to hold himself together. He brushed away her tears.

"Never. As long as I can breathe, I am always here with you. I love you." he said honestly.

Azula laughed now.

"Come here." Sokka said and pulled her back on his chest.

They cuddled in the presence of candlelight, and the moon outside.

[losfacedevil]

Change //SFK (Pt8)

a/n~ This one...oh this one fucking hurt and I am SO sorry. But her past has to rear it's ugly head if she wants a beautiful future. WARNINGS: ANGST, Unwanted touch, unwanted advances, anxiety attack, foul language. Let me know if I missed any! Word Count: 2.3k Catch Up on The Market Here!

“Oh so you did come home last night. I was staring to think you’d forgotten where you lived.” Danny joked. He sat at the kitchen island, laptop open and scrolling through yet another article about the latest hobby he was hyperfixated on. 

Sam rolled his eyes as he shuffled his way into the kitchen clad in nothing but his boxers and his hair a disheveled mess atop his head. He stifled a yawn as he made his way over to the freshly brewed coffee pot and poured himself a mug. He took a moment to let his eyes focus on Danny as he held his mug right below his nose and breathed in the warm steam emanating off the hot coffee inside. 

“We lost track of time, had a fire in the fire pit, made some s’mores. She was really enjoying herself I didn’t want to down her vibe.” Sam shrugged, lifting the mug to his lips and took a sip as his eyes fluttered shut.  Danny made a face Sam couldn’t see, rolling his eyes slightly before navigating elsewhere on the computer in front of him. 

“Right, right. What are the plans for the market this week? If you want me to make my sisters rice krispy treats with the pumpkin flavored fluff I need to know so I can get her fluff recipe off her.” Danny mumbled. Sam nodded, tipping his head back and draining the mug before turning to the coffee pot for a refill. 

“Yes, please. I have to really start the transition into the fall stuff I’m almost out of summer berries. All things Apple are really in this time of year so I’m thinking Apple and pumpkin butters, ciders, maybe branch into more baked goods with the apples and pumpkin. I dunno yet.” Sam shrugged, his mind wandering to what he could put on the roster, things his mom made that he would need recipes for and making a mental note to invest in a juicer. 

“Well just let me know, you know damn well she won’t part with that recipe if it’s not gonna be used. How’s Sophia, by the way. Is she okay?” Danny glanced up at Sam, the distant look in his eye alerting the older boy. 

“Yeah, yeah. She’s okay, there’s a lot she’s working on mentally and personally which isn’t my story to tell. But yeah she’s okay.” 

~*~*~

Sam paced the length of his room, hands stuffed low down into his pockets as he wracked his brain. He had no choice but to go shopping, something he hated doing alone and something Danny had mentioned in brief passing that morning that he could no longer join him on. He debated slapping Roses vest on her and taking her with him, ever the good girl when she was in her vest but decided against it as she hadn’t been on any big outings recently. 

His eyes brightened a bit as he pulled out his phone and checked the time, a thought popping into his mind as he pulled up his contacts list. Sophia had mentioned in passing how much she enjoyed walking the aisles of thrift stores and digging to see what treasures she could find. 

Bringing his teeth down he began to chew on the inside of his cheek and hovered his finger over her contact. He fought internally with himself, having just seen her the day prior he was nervous to overwhelm her with his presence. He pressed the FaceTime call command and propped his phone up against his dresser, stepping slightly out of frame to change out of his sleep pants.

He heard the call pick up, a slight shuffling of what he figured to be papers sounding as she came into view. The expression on her face was that of confusion as she realized she was staring into an empty room. 

“Hey! Where’d you go, handsome?” She whined, sticking out her bottom lip in a pout. He couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped past his lips as he leaned to the right and popped his head into the camera frame and shot her his million dollar smile. 

“I’m here, sweet thing. Just changing really quick.” He shot her a cheeky wink before straightening up and shimmied his pants up over the rise of his ass. 

“Oooh! Lemme see!” She giggled, propping her phone up on the counter and rested her chin in the palms of her hands. Sam couldn’t help the boisterous laugh that escaped him as he clasped his belt buckle shut, slipping the remaining leather in the belt loops. 

“I don’t give free shows sweet thing, you’re gonna have to earn that one.” He chuckled, snatching his button up shirt of choice off of his bed before stepping back into view. Sophia’s eyes widened slightly and a low whistle escaped her as she ogled his bare chest. A soft smile graced his face as he snapped in the direction of his phone, the sound just enough to shake her out of her thoughts.

“Stop catching flies.” He chuckled, slipping his arms into the sleeves of his shirt and draped it over his shoulders, quickly buttoning up the bottom three buttons. 

“Am not! My jaw muscle just fell asleep is all.” She giggled, averting her eyes to the two baskets that sat on her kitchen counter and plucked a jam bar from one. She held it up in front of her, a silly grin kissing her lips as she opened the bar and popped a piece into her mouth. 

“It did what now? What were you doing before I called, huh?” Sam wiggled his eyebrows and leaned slightly out of frame to search for a hair tie. The apples of her cheeks were kissed a light shade of pink as her mouth dropped open a second time; this time using her hand to make a show of closing her mouth. 

“What are you insinuating? Did you call me just to mess with me, Samuel?” She drawled, slowly popping another piece of her snack into her mouth. He rolled his eyes, securing his long hair into a messy bun on top of his head. 

“I called to see what you were up to. OOH! And to tell you that Danny’s gonna get his sisters killer rice Krispy recipe  off of her for the market. When I tell you they are to die for!” He gushed, scooping his phone up off of his dresser and slowly made his way out of his room. 

“Anyone can make a good rice krispy. What’s so special about hers?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest and pursing her lips at the phone screen. Jealousy - she fought the feeling knowing it never ended well. 

“She makes this killer pumpkin flavored marshmallow fluff. But you never answered my question, what are your plans for the day?” He asked, plopping himself down on the couch in the living room. Sophia shrugged, averting her attention to the dishes that sat in her sink, one’s she should have washed days ago but never had the motivation to tackle. 

“Well I’ve got one, two, three, four, ummmm, seven dishes I have to wash and then I’m free. Why what’s up?” She questioned, pulling her favorite water bottle across the counter. 

“So I was wondering how my girl would feel about thrift hopping and maybe grabbing dinner at some point tonight? There’s a new place downtown I want to check out.” He cooed, fluttering his eyes up to glance at her reaction. She nodded lightly, lips pursed together and she held a finger to them, lightly tapping it against them. 

“Hmmm I think she would have to take a shower so she can smell pretty but she wouldn’t say no to that.” Sam couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his lips as he nodded, glancing up at the clock that hung above the television. 

“So what do you think? Maybe an hour or so I’ll come get you and we can take off?” He asked. She nodded her head, quickly making a mental list of the things she needed to do in the next hour. 

“Yeah that works, I’ll be waiting, handsome.” She giggled, quickly hanging up the call. 

Sam sighed and tossed his phone to the side. Reaching up he scrubbed a hand down his face, letting his eyes flutter shut and his mind wander. 

~*~*~

“Samuel, please, that hat is down right awful!” Sophia giggled, watching as he removed the straw sun hat and replaced it back on the rack. 

“See my brother Jake would wear the shit out of that hat. I uh I don’t exactly trust his fashion choices sometimes.” Sam chuckled, turning on his heel and began sifting through the rack of shirts behind him. 

She couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her as she made her way to the trinkets, her eyes dancing along the shelves when she heard it. A familiar voice infiltrated her ears causing her to tense up, almost freezing in place. At the opposite end of the aisle stood her ex, clearly on the phone with someone as he picked up little trinkets to inspect. 

Her breathing quickened and she felt as if her feet were glued to the floor. She tried to keep her gaze on the small trinkets that lined the shelves, looking for something new to put in her shadow box when she felt his presence a little too closely. 

He nudged her shoulder with his, trying to get her attention as she fought off her fight or flight instincts. Her eyes grew wide as she lifted her head and spotted Sam still stood at the rack of shirts. Her ex wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her body flush against his and he leaned down, pressing his lips dangerously close to her ear. 

“Which one are you here with, huh? This isn’t walking distance from you. Who is he HUH?” The volume of his voice caused Sam to look up to see where the ruckus was. His heart hammered in his chest as he saw another man wrapped intimately around Sophia, someone she clearly didn’t look comfortable with. 

Sam took off at a jog, coming up on them quickly. His eyes met Sophia’s and a soft expression of relief washed over her as he came into view. She mouthed the word ‘help’ as her ex became aware of Sam’s presence. 

“Sophia, do you know him?” Sam asked, reaching out to lace his fingers with hers. 

“You have no right to touch her.” He growled, eyes boring holes into Sam’s as his grasp on Sophia tightened. Sam shook his head, not the fighting type and took another step forward. 

“I don’t think you do. I think you need to step the fuck back before I do something we both regret.” Sam was seeing red, his grip on her hand that if a death grip as he snaked his other arm around her waist and pulled her free of the man’s grasp. 

“She’s my girl, you can kindly fuck off.” Say spat in his face as he wrapped his arms around Sophia’s shoulders and pressed her close to his chest. The other man made a swipe at her, trying to grasp her wrist in his hand and Sam turned, pulling her with him. 

“Still ruining everything, I told you I never trusted you and I can see I was right not to. Fucking whore.” He spat and turned on his heel, stalking away from them. 

Sam could feel her heart hammering in her chest and the way her chest rose and fell in quick succession as she tried to stabilize her mood. He felt the tears fall against his hand before a sob ripped from her chest and her legs gave way. Sam sighed, silently cursing the man who walked away from her without an ounce of remorse and kneeled down next to her. 

“You’re okay, it’s okay, he’s gone.” Sam raked his hands through her hair, scratching his nails against her scalp in a soothing manner and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to her temple. 

“You’re okay, it’s okay, he’s gone. Baby girl I promise you he won’t hurt you, you’re okay. C’mon.” He coaxed, reaching out to grasp her hands in his. He stood to his full height, pulling her deadweight up with him until he was able to slip an arm around her waist. 

“Take me home.” She mumbled, righting herself before letting Sam lead her out of the thrift store. 

Sam opened her door for her, making sure she didn’t knock her head as she slipped into the seat and pressed another tentative kiss to her cheek as she reached up for her seat belt. Shutting the door softly he made his way around to the drivers side and slid in. His eyes found her profile quickly, the once bubbly girl a completely shattered version of herself. 

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled, reaching up to wipe the tears off of her cheeks. Sam reached over and cupped her chin in his hand, turning her head to face him. 

“What are you sorry for?” He kept his voice quiet, not wanting to set her off more but needing to know what was going on in her head. 

“I never wanted you to see her. The broken side of me. I… I never wanted her to come out, at least not when I’m with you.” Her voice never broke above a whisper and fresh tears spilled down her cheeks as she spoke.  Sam shook his head, running his thumb along her cheek, catching her tears. 

“Absolutely not. You do not apologize for this. I’m sorry it happened, it’s my fault I brought you here.” She couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“It’s no one’s fault my beautiful boy, it was bound to happen. Just… just take me home, please?” Sam felt his face drop a bit but nodded as he leaned across the center console and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. He felt her relax a little, the muscles in her jaw no longer clenched. 

“Homeward bound it is.”

TAGLIST: @gretasmokerising @ascendingtostardust @sammysprincess @sammykiszkamyass @belovedsamuel @puzzle-gvf @sunfl0wer-power @vanfleeter @aintthatapity @twistedmelodies @gvfpal @psychedelicsprinkles @miguelnation @gracev0609 @runwayblues

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 6: Substitute Teacher

~Junk-N-Stuff~

"Oh, yes. You are a nice thing." Gooch cooed as he stroked the top of his new machine. In fact, he loved it so much, he wanted to show it off to more people, so he decided to alert everyone down in the Man Cave that something was wrong.

"Gooch! What happened?" Ray and (y/n) came running from the back, heavily panting. They had rushed upstairs together, thinking that Gooch was in terrible danger.

"Why did you send us an emergency signal?" (y/n) said breathlessly, her chest still heaving. She hadn't run like that since college. 

"Look. That's a garbage juicer." Gooch showed them, a proud look on his face, but Ray and the woman next to him just stared back in disbelief. 

"A garbage juicer?" Ray couldn't believe it. (y/n) rested her arm on his shoulder, her breathing coming back down.

"It juices garbage," Gooch explained, even though its name was self-explanatory.

"Gooch, we were busy downstairs looking for criminals." Ray chastised him, but the Indian man still gave them a demonstration.

"Watch. I just dump the garbage into the thingy." Gooch said as he emptied a load of trash into the top of the machine, the smell making (y/n) gag. 

"Gooch..." She tried to tell him that they were busy, but the storekeeper wouldn't listen.

"Now, observe." Gooch pressed the button and put a glass underneath the nozzle of the machine. It whirred to life and started to liquefy the garbage. A greyish-brown juice started to fill the glass cup and the smell was revolting. The two watching the process stepped back in repulsion.

"You see? The garbage is gone. It's all in the juice." Gooch seemed pretty impressed, but the woman in front of him had started to turn green.

"I think I'm gonna puke." She looked away into Ray's shoulder and he curled a protective arm around her.

"Can we go back downstairs now?" He asked to which Gooch just looked down, giving him a silent answer. He grabbed (y/n)'s hand and started to lead her away from the juice before she could throw up. 

"Ray! We gotta talk to you!" Henry burst through the shop door, Charlotte in tow.

"This is important." The girl added in, they walked towards the retreating pair.

"Please, I will be sick." (y/n) moaned at the man holding her hand, using the other one to hold her mouth.

"There's a creepy new kid at our school." Henry started to tell Ray.

"Ugh, can we talk about it downstairs? Gooch's juice smells and I think (y/n)'s about to barf." Ray complained, grimacing at the juice that was still on the counter.

"Okay." The kids agreed, following their bosses downstairs, leaving Gooch to drink his garbage juice alone.

~

"Why do think this Ortho kid is up to something?" Ray asked them in the elevator as the door shut.

"Well, he was asking about the school's water supply." Henry said. (y/n) hugged Ray's waist tightly in preparation for what was about to come, hating the trip down in the faulty elevator. His density meant that he didn't really feel the weightless effect as much as anyone else.

"And he wanted to know about the security cameras and--" Charlotte was interrupted by Ray reaching across and pressing the descent button. His arms went around the woman hugging him so they could secure her to his chest.

The elevator dropped with an immediate effect, causing Henry and Charlotte to scream in terror. They wildly moved around the falling machine, but Ray was perfectly fine.

"I wonder why he was asking those things." He tried to say to his companions, but they were too scared to answer. (y/n) buried her face into his chest even further, also feeling like she was about to die.

"Guys? Oh, stop screaming." Ray told the kids, not understanding why they were kicking up such a big fuss.

They landed with a thud, and Ray waddled out the door, (y/n) still clutching his waist. Seeing that they were now safely back in the Man Cave, she let go of Ray and blushed, but thankfully, he didn't see.

"Can't that elevator be adjusted?" Charlotte looked at her. 

"I've been asking for years, but he never fixes it." (y/n) told her, playfully glowering at Ray. Despite the bumpy ride down, her stomach didn't feel as queasy anymore, now that the juice was no longer under her nose.

"Why'd you say this Ortho kid is creepy?" Ray asked them again, the eventful trip with the pretty girl's hands around his waist had made his mind hazy.

"Because he says weird stuff. And he's got this crazy psycho look in his eye." Henry said, a small shiver going down his spine at the thought of the weird kid.

"You got a pic?" The superhero asked them, wanting to see this boy.

"Uh... Jasper's twitflash." Charlotte proposed. 

"Oh, yeah. Jasper posted a pic of him and Ortho on his Twitflash." Henry said, as (y/n) went over to the supercomputer and loaded everything up.

"Let's have a look then." She said with a smile.

~

Henry had synced his phone to the computer, so the screen mirrored what was on it and everyone could see. To get the 'Ortho photo', first, he had to go through Jasper's bucket posts, of which there were many.

"Bucket. Bucket. Selfie with bucket. Bucket. Bucket." Ray and (y/n) looked at each other, sharing the same thought.

"Kid has bucket problem." She said to him.

"Yep, he sure does." Ray giggled with her.

"Ah. That's Ortho right there." Henry exclaimed, finally scrolling to the right picture. Ray walked to the computer chair and sat down, pulling (y/n) along with him so she could settle in his lap. It was a position they often adopted when alone. However, the fact that there were other people in the room at that moment flustered the woman, so she busied herself by playing with her sleeve. 

"Well, he's definitely a boy." Ray said, which made the girl on his knee roll her eyes.

"You should've called yourself Captain Obvious." She sassed, staring at the Ortho kid in the picture. She could swear he looked familiar, but she couldn't quite place it.

"A boy that's up to no good." Charlotte quipped, not trusting the new boy. 

"Oh, give him a break." Ray said, confusing the kids. They thought he would agree with them that Ortho was some criminal mastermind.

"What?" They both cried out.

"Yeah, the kid's new to your school, he's probably just a little awkward. Let's not make mumps out of marshmallows." (y/n) reasoned with Ray, despite the voice in her head telling her otherwise.

"He also threatened you." Henry deadpanned Ray, making him jump up. (y/n) fell out of his lap and tumbled to the floor. She looked up at Ray, who didn't notice her deathly glare.

"Me? What'd that little marsh mump say?" He growled.

"Friend on the floor here." (y/n) waved her hands in the air, prompting Ray to help her up.

"That his father was going to ''take care'' of you" Charlotte recalled, as Ray's hands squeezed his best friend's fingers in anger.

"Oh, did he? Well, we'll just see about..." Ray said, laughing but not from joy. Ortho had made this personal. (y/n) cut off his threat after Charlotte's words bounced around in her head, activating her muscle memory.

"Wait, did you say his father?" She looked to the kids, her brain racing to fit all the puzzle pieces together.

"Yep."

"Sure did." They confirmed and the woman started to snap her fingers at the computer.

"Henry, put that kid's pic back on the monitor and zoom in." She instructed. Once she was looking at the photo again, she covered the kid's face with her hand and looked at Ray.

"Does that hair look familiar to you?" She asked the man, who sat down again in thought.

"Oh my god." He said, realising who she was talking about.

"You guys ever heard of Drill Finger?" He turned to Henry and Charlotte.

"Those little pickles?" Charlotte was mistaken.

"I think those are Dill Fingers." Henry said, and the kids began to joke with each other about pickles.

"No, no, no, this is not about pickles!" (y/n) clicked her fingers to get their attention.

"We're talking about a dentist." Ray said seriously, the adults remembering the last time Captain Man encountered him. 

"Named Drill Finger?" Henry queried. 

"Yeah." The superhero confirmed.

"Well, he used to be a dentist, but then he turned evil and began a life of crime." (y/n) told the story, Henry and Charlotte leaning closer in curiosity.

"Three years ago, he kidnapped the mayor of Swellview and removed all his teeth." She described, making them shudder.

"That's why he only eats soup." Henry matched up to her story.

"Exactly." She replied.

"And what happened to Drill Finger?" Charlotte asked the adults.

"I captured him and took him to jail. But he was released three weeks ago" Ray divulged, making the four think that the villain was back and out for revenge. (y/n) tapped a few buttons and brought up his mugshot so they could compare it to Ortho.

"That's Drill Finger." Ray told them.

"Does he always wear a mask?" Henry asked, wanting to see his face.

"Yeah, but look at his hair. It's the same as Ortho's." (y/n) pointed out. Ray pressed the camera link button, opening the feed with Junk-N-Stuff, revealing that Gooch was on the phone.

"Hey, I can't talk right now. I"m on the phone with my nephew, Benji. He has the chickenpox." He said, removing the phone from his ear.

"Do you remember when I put Drill Finger in jail?" Ray asked.

"Of course." 

"What were his exact words as they took him away?" He questioned, looking thoughtfully at the monitor.

"He said, "As soon as I get out of here, I'm gonna take care of Captain Man."" Gooch answered in a menacing voice.

"That's what I thought." He said, as (y/n) folded her arms behind him.

"Dude, I could've told you that." She said.

"I wanted an independent party." Ray gave her his puppy dog eyes, and like always, they melted her annoyance away.

"Great. I've got to go." Gooch said, and Ray cut off the video and walked across the room in thought.

"So, Ortho is the son of Drill Finger?" Henry theorised.

"I knew it. I knew that boy was evil. I knew it." Charlotte said over and over again and (y/n) was inclined to agree with her. All the facts were pointing one way.

"Yeah, but did you know it?" Henry bantered.

"I did." Charlotte quipped back, feeling good about herself.

"But what are they up to?" Ray asked, the thought of criminals plotting made him uneasy.

"Well, I guess you're not gonna figure it out by wearing a ridiculously loud shirt and stroking your chin." (y/n) sassed him, even though she loved the way the shirt made his arms look huge and even through the bold pattern, she could see the way his back muscles rolled and tensed. 

"What do we do?" Charlotte looked to the superhero for ideas.

"We're gonna do a little spying on your new classmate, Ortho." He answered, gesturing to himself and (y/n) who looked at him in surprise. 

"What? You're taking me out into the field?" She said, excited at the prospect of spending time with him and getting out of the Man Cave for a change.

"We'll need to find a way into your school, maybe as substitute teachers." He said, the plan forming in his head. (y/n) nodded along, thinking that they just might get away with it.

"We can't just wait until one of our teachers gets sick." Charlotte pointed out, knowing that it could be weeks of waiting. 

"We might not have to..." (y/n) thought aloud, stroking her chin as Ray did earlier, everyone copying her actions. Ray looked at her fondly, seeing her devious plan grow in her head. 

~Later that day, Swellview High~

Ray, Gooch, Gooch's nephew and (y/n) were sneaking around the corridors of Henry's school. Following the young woman's plan, they needed to find the sidekick's history teacher, Miss Shapen. She was their target and Benji was their key. Ray being Ray, he had insisted that he and Gooch put on disguises to blend in with the students, but in truth, it just made them look plain weird.

"You two look ridiculous." She whispered to them, being dressed in her normal clothes. Ray's 'teenage' sweatshirt, complete with a long gold chain and Gooch's long trenchcoat made the pair stick out like sore thumbs, but they didn't listen to her.

Rounding the corner, they peeked past the lockers and saw Miss Shapen waltz through the main doors, minding her own business.

"Look, that's one of Henry's teachers, Miss Shapen." Ray said in a hushed tone.

"Just the woman I was looking for." (y/n) smirked.

"Let's do this." Gooch put a fedora on his head and Ray put on some dark sunglasses in a poor attempt to conceal their identities. 

"My chickenpox itches." Benji said, scratching at the spots on his back and chest. (y/n) crouched down in front of him.

"Benji, never tell anyone about this. There's ice cream in it for you afterwards." She said, looking both ways, before signalling for them to move once the teacher was in position.

"Move, move, move!" She said, and the three scrambled. Gooch seized Miss Shapen by the arms restraining her movements, as Ray lifted Benji by his arms and started rubbing his pox-riddled body over Miss Shapen's face. (y/n) stood guard by the corners, acting as the lookout in case a student or member of staff heard the commotion.

"HEY! Stop! Ahhh, what is going on?!" The teacher screamed, but all the students were in class, so all she could do was struggle against the men.

~The next day~

In Henry's history class, the kids stood around talking and laughing amongst themselves since no teacher had turned up yet. Jasper walked in and tried to get their attention, as he had some exciting news.

"Hey, guys!" He shouted, but no one paid attention.

"HEY, GUYS!" He shouted louder, but still, no one heard him apart from Henry, who paused his conversation with Charlotte and addressed the class for him.

"Hey, guys." This time everyone listened, slightly offending Jasper, but he quickly shrugged it off, as he remembered what he wanted to tell them.

"Principal says Miss Shapen has chickenpox." 

All right, free day." Henry said excitedly, and the class cheered with him, but Jasper quickly quelled their enthusiasm.

"No, no, no. No. He said we're getting a substitute." Everyone jeered when he said that, their happy mood dissolving.

"You don't think Ray and (y/n)..." Charlotte eyed Henry suspiciously, but he didn't share her look of misapprehension. 

"Nah, he wouldn't--" He was instantly eating his words as Ray burst in with (y/n) behind him. He was wearing a bold-check suit, glasses and had slicked his hair down with one thick curl at the front. Unlike him, (y/n) had chosen a normal disguise, which was just a typical teacher outfit she threw together.

"Hello, children." He said with a strange British accent. The entire class looked at him in confusion, as (y/n) struggled to take him seriously, a smile fighting to grow on her face.

"Everyone, please take your seats." He told them, walking in front of the board. (y/n) smiled at the class, even though the twenty-something pairs of eyes on her made her feel very, very small.

"It seems your regular teacher has caught the pox of a chicken." He spluttered out, his weird behaviour not helping (y/n)'s nerves.

"Nasty red bumpies all over her." He said, the accent making some kids in the back giggle and Henry look back at Charlotte in horror.

"But not to worry, I am your substitute, Mr Gelding." He tried to write his name on the whiteboard, but it wouldn't all fit, so he gave up.

"And this! This is my lovely teaching assistant, Miss Phalange." He said, pointing his arm straight at the young woman a few meters from him. She blushed at the word 'lovely', but waved at the class and greeted them.

"Hello everyone." At least the class weren't laughing at her. Henry could deal with (y/n) being the teacher; she actually looked like one, but Ray was being too weird. He got up and went to talk to him at the front of the class.

"Ray, are you kidding me?" He hissed, trying to keep his voice down.

"Shhh, I know what I'm doing." He whispered back.

"This is not going to work." Henry squeaked, as (y/n) eyed them in panic. The class were getting creeped out.

"It might work if you..." Ray muttered.

"You look ridiculous, at least (y/n) looks like a teacher." The teen tried to talk some sense into him.

"..just sit down." 

"Can you talk to me about this?" Henry tried to reason.

"No, I can't talk to you about this. Now sit down and trust me." Ray seethed, wanting to get on with the lesson. 

"You two are causing a scene." (y/n) ridiculed them, grabbing their ears sharply so they'd break apart.

"SIT DOWN BOY!" Ray scolded Henry, making the boy retreat to his desk.

"Yes, Mr Gelding." He complied, wobbling back to his seat.

"Okay class, let's take a roll call." (y/n) swallowed, as Ray rested on the teacher's desk. He grabbed his PearPad and looked at the list of names.

"We'll start with first names that begin with "O"." He said, wanting to single out Ortho.

"My name is Oliver." One of the bug-eating boys raised his hand.

"Shut up, Oliver," Ray said harshly, not really caring about the other students. 

"Where's, uh, where's Ortho?" He said, looking around at the kid's face. Tentatively, the ginger-haired boy raised his hand, declaring his presence. 

"Hello, Ortho," Ray said in a strange, ominous voice. (y/n) crept up behind him and stood and her tiptoes, getting as close as she could to the tall man's ear.

"You're being weird again." She whispered, and he moved back to the board so he could muddle his way through teaching. 

"Now then class, who can tell me about the isosceles triangle?" He asked the class, making (y/n) facepalm. 'I told him not to be weird.' She groaned in her mind.

"Sir? This is a history class." Jasper pointed out.

"Who can tell me about the history of the isosceles triangle?" Ray changed the question, the directed it at Ortho.

"Ortho, what do you know?" He stared at the boy, who squirmed in his seat.

"Um--I...I--I'm new." He stuttered, trying to hint that, he had no idea what was happening.

"Excuse me, Mr Gelding. Can I please talk to you outside in the hall?" Henry interrupted, standing from his chair.

"I'm in the middle of a lesson," Ray replied, wanting Henry to trust him.

"I have a question about my personal hygiene." Henry said in a loud and uncaring voice, forcing Ray to listen to him.

"To the hall, we go. Miss Phalange, take over." He said, trudging towards the door, (y/n) shrinking into herself at the thought of teaching alone.

"Hey, I have lots of questions about my hygiene." Jasper shouted at 'Mr Gelding' who just looked at him in disgust.

"Okayyyy class, who can tell me about..." (y/n) looked around the class and saw Charlotte pointing at her open book, which she had lifted so the older woman could see its contents. She quickly looked over the page and caught up on what they were studying.

"...The Colombian War of Independence?" Several hands went up, and she picked some students at random, feeling calmer now she had clever Charlotte to help her out.

~Meanwhile, in the hall~

"What are you doing? Why are you and (y/n) in my school?" Henry reproached his boss as soon as the door was closed.

"We're spying on Ortho." He said in the weird English voice, annoying Henry further.

"Will you stop with the accent?" Henry commented.

"We're spying on Ortho." Ray repeated, this time using his normal American drawl.

"Well, what'd you do with our regular teacher?" He asked, wondering what had happened to Miss Shapen.

"We gave her a disease." Ray revealed contritely.

"Oh my god." Henry looked away to the wall, not believing what he was hearing.

"Just chickenpox." Ray protested.

"That's the worst kind of pox." The teen whisper-yelled back.

"What about tuna pox?" The superhero tried to catch him out, but it didn't work.

"There's no such thing as tuna pox. You just like getting out of the Man Cave with your girlfriend." Henry couldn't help the words that fell from his lips.

"Okay, she's not my girlfriend, so just leave it. And, you and Charlotte were the ones that said Ortho's up to no good." Ray reminded him, getting defensive at the mention of (y/n) in that context.

"We already know his dad's Drill Finger. Now we just need to figure out what they're planning." Ray said, checking the window to see how the class was doing.

To his surprise, the classroom door opened and (y/n) stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind her.

"What's taking so long? The bucket kid keeps asking me questions about his personal hygiene." She looked between them, wondering why Ray's ears were pink.

"So?" Henry didn't understand the problem, normally (y/n) was so supportive and helpful with problems.

"So, you both better get back in there before I tell him things he does not wanna know." She threatened with a finger pointing to both of them. Turning around, she marched back into the class. Ray's eyes followed her until she was out of sight and then he looked at Henry again.

"Okay, you clear on the plan?" He asked him.

"No!" Henry cried since there was no plan.

"Let's go," Ray said, walking back in, Henry on his heels.

"I just wanna know if I should use different soaps for different parts of me." Jasper was asking (y/n). Charlotte looked at him like he had grown another head.

"Boy, no more questions for Miss Phalange. Now, history is filled with stories of evil, nasty people. Who can name some?" Ray questioned the class, actually being a semi-competent teacher.

"Oooh, Gengis Khan." Jasper suggested and Ray accepted his answer.

"Voldemort." Oliver Pook suggested, which Ray also agreed with, even though (y/n) knew he was a fictional character from Harry Potter.

"Big Bird?" Charlotte shouted out, making (y/n) furrow her eyebrows at the suggestion.

"Absolutely. Now... who can name some other evil people? Ortho?" Ray targeted the boy again. 'Captain Subtle strikes again.' The helper inwardly monologued.

"Um..." The boy stuttered, not knowing what to say.

"Oh, think Ortho. Surely you must know someone with evil intentions." Ray pressured him, speaking in a hard voice.

"Like oh, I don't know? Someone trying to sabotage this school?" (y/n) interjected, trying to keep up her teacher façade. 

"Yeah, Ortho." Charlotte agreed, she and Henry turning around in their seats so they could glare at the kid.

"I--I don't understand." He looked up at Ray in confusion.

"What are your plans?" Ray leaned on his desk and leant in closer to the boy, trying to intimidate him.

"Um, after class, I plan to eat a turkey wrap." He offered, not knowing what else to say.

"Aha!" Charlotte pointed at it, thinking it was part of some evil plan. Ray grabbed the bag and shredded it so all the contents could out. Grabbing Ortho's lunch, he chucked it over his back to Henry.

"You, student, examine Ortho's turkey wrap." Henry opened the lunch bag and tore the wrap apart to see if anything was inside.

"What is going on?" Jasper was so confused, as was the rest of the class.

"Wrap's clean." Henry reported, the filling falling on the floor. Ray walked to the front of the class again.

"Now, students to really know history, we must first learn your history." The superhero decided to switch tactics.

"So, tomorrow, it's Bring Your Father To Class Day." (y/n) butted in, but Ray liked her plan even more than his own so he went along with it.

"All our fathers?" Jasper asked innocently.

"No, let's just start with one father." Of course, they didn't need a class full of fathers. Just one in particular.

"My father lives in our basement." Oliver Pook mentioned.

"Put your hands over your face." 'Mr Gelding' directed him, that way he wouldn't have to speak with him.

"Ortho. You bring your father to class tomorrow." Ray looked at the ginger boy.

"O--okay." He agreed, still feeling uncomfortable with the situation.

"Look, I put your wrap back together." Jasper passed it to him, whilst Oliver Pook spoke again.

"I can't breathe." With all the weird kids in class, it made (y/n) feel grateful that she was a superhero's helper, not a teacher.

"Okay, class dismissed.' Ray said, grabbing (y/n)'s hand and pulling her out of the class since their work was done.

~The next day~

'Mr Gelding' and 'Miss Phalange' were back into the class the next morning. Despite changing his clothes to a thick, blue jumper and grey slacks, Ray still looked absurd as the hair and glasses were still the same. (y/n) had chosen another simple, yet believable disguise and it seemed that the class genuinely liked her.

Beginning the class, Ray glared at Ortho, wondering where his father was. 

"Alright lads and loonies, rumps in chairs." He still had his weird accent. As the class sat down, a ginger-hair man in glasses walked through the door, obviously being Ortho's father.

"Hello. Is this... Oh, hi, Ortho." The man greeted his son and Ray looked at the new man. (y/n) wasn't sure about his identity though. He didn't seem to be an evil mastermind, just a mild-mannered father.

"Hello, father." Ortho replied, making Henry look back at Charlotte.

"Well, if it isn't Ortho's daddy," Ray said, forgetting to do his voice.

"Accent." (y/n) coughed as she walked past her friend, reaching over to shake Ortho's father's hand.

"If it isn't Ortho's daddy." He corrected, not liking how friendly (y/n) was being with the suspected criminal.

"Yeah, sorry I'm a little late. I had some things to do." He smiled, shaking (y/n)'s hand with a firm grip.

"What kind of things?" Henry questioned him.

"Yeah, what things?" Charlotte added in.

"Just some work stuff. So I was told it's bring 'Your Father to Class Day'." Ortho's father asked the teachers.

"Yeah, that's right." (y/n) nodded at him with a genial expression.

"Okay...So, now what?" The man seemed confused.

"Maybe you could tell the children about the type of work you do and--" Ray slowly walked towards the man, putting himself between him and his helper. Once he was close enough, he sneaked his laser control from his pocket and fired a shot at Ortho's father, making him fall unconscious to the floor. (y/n) gasped along with the rest of the room, whilst Ray pretended to be innocent.

"Father!" Ortho cried out.

"Oh, bad luck. It appears that Ortho's father is having a medical episode." Ray told the class, but Ortho was too upset.

"No, I think you did something to him." The boy said, getting up from his seat and accusing Ray.

"Mr Gelding would never--" (y/n) tried to protect Ray, but Ortho still wasn't listening.

"I'm calling my mom and you'll be in big trouble." Henry used his whiz watch to shoot a laser at Ortho before he could tell anyone what had happened. The boy fell to the floor like his father.

"Uh-oh. There goes Ortho." Henry said in mock surprise.

"Oh no, the condition must be genetic." (y/n) lied.

"We should take them to the school nurse," Charlotte suggested and Ray quickly agreed.

"Good idea, let's hurry up, shall we?" Ray went to grab the father and Henry and Charlotte started to drag Ortho out by his feet. Surprising (y/n) with his strength, Ray lifted the man over his shoulder and hurried out of the classroom. 

"Class, read page 22." (y/n) said, before closing the door and ushering them all out of the school.

~The Man Cave~

Ray had put Ortho and his father in restraints, and now they were struggling to free themselves in the Man Cave.

"Where are we?" Ortho asked.

"I don't know, son." His father replied, tugging at the chains around his wrists. The door to the room behind the supercomputer opened and Henry and Ray stepped out in their superhero costumes, Charlotte and (y/n) in tow.

"Well, well, well." The superheroes said in turn, folding their arms and walking towards the father and son.

"Well," Henry added on the end.

"We only do three 'wells'" Ray told him, not wanting to look uncool in front of their prisoners.

"So, mister. Are you ready to admit that you're Drill Finger?" Charlotte stepped around the two and interrogated them.

"What?"

"Who's Drill Finger?" They both asked in confusion.

"You know you're Drill Finger." Charlotte pressed, wanting them to squeal the truth.

"You're a psychotic, evil dentist." Captain Man pointed at Ortho's father, who just looked pale and frightened.

"And now, it's your turn to get drilled." Henry tried to sass, but it fell flat.

"What's that mean?" (y/n) leaned down and said in his ear.

"I don't know, man." The teen wished he'd never said it.

"I'm not a dentist. I don't even floss." The chained man revealed as the alarm went off. (y/n) ran over to the computer, and opened the camera link to see what Gooch wanted.

"What Gooch? We're busy with Drill Finger?" Ray growled over her shoulder.

"No, you're not." (y/n) recoiled with a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"Huh?" 

"Drill Finger was just spotted in Nebraska," Gooch reported, and they all looked at him in shock.

"Nebraska? As in Nebraska above Kansas?" (y/n) really hoped it was a mistake, but it seemed they had made a grave error.

"Affirmative. He put four megatons of sugar in the water supply." 'Sweet cheese.' (y/n) wanted to slap herself.

"Situation?" Henry asked.

"Water very sweet. Teeth in danger." Gooch replied, even though all could have guessed that.

"Understood." Ray closed the link and turned to his friends, who all shared his look of guilt.

"What do we do?" Henry said, stepping back from the computer.

"Nothing, we only protect Swellview," Ray told him.

"Yeah, Nebraska's not our problem." (y/n) agreed with him.

"Right." They all looked at Ortho and his father, who were both glaring at them.

"But you guys... If the real Drill Finger is in Nebraska, who's that guy?" Charlotte pointed out.

"He's my dad, you dip twits!" Ortho yelled at them.

"But, why'd you want to know where our school's water supply was?" Henry asked, as all the puzzle pieces in his head started to fall.

"Because my uncle sells water filters for schools and small businesses." They all looked at their shoes.

"Okay, but why'd you ask about our school's security cameras?" Charlotte still thought that was dodgy, but Ortho's father quickly gave a reason.

"Because at Ortho's last school, the security cameras caught him picking his nose." Again, they all looked away when they heard the explanation.

"After that, some of the other kids called me 'Booger boy'," Ortho explained, and (y/n) couldn't help but feel bad for him, but Ray just found it funny, making everyone glare at him.

"Kids can be cruel." He said after (y/n) pinched his arm to make him say something nice.

"Okay, wait...then why did you say your dad was gonna take care of Captain Man?" Henry questioned them and Charlotte and Ray nodded with him.

"Because my father owns a chain of retirement homes for old people," Ortho explained.

"And I'm building a new one here in Swellview." His father continued.

"It's still in the planning phase." Suddenly everything became clear and the superhero team felt very stupid.

"And, when Captain Man gets old, I hoped I could take of him... To thank him for being such a wonderful superhero." Ray laughed awkwardly, having been so horrible to a man who only wanted to do nice things for him.

"Will you excuse us for just one second? We'll be right back." (y/n) smiled sweetly at the man as she pulled Ray and Charlotte backwards, Henry following too.

"Okay, we screwed up bad." Ray squeaked, once they had moved away, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

"Bad is an understatement. We're gonna go down for this." (y/n) hissed back.

"I better not get in trouble for this," Henry commented, imagining what would happen if Ortho told the whole school what he'd gone through.

"Let's just calm down." (y/n) tried to keep control of the situation, but Charlotte was panicking.

"Hey. Just know I am not going to jail for the three of you." She told them, making her friends shush her loudly. Ray told them to follow his lead, as he sauntered over to the two ginger-haired men again.

"Hey. So good news..." Ray started in a cheerful voice.

"What?" Ortho snapped.

"We've clearly made a mistake here." Ray smiled at them, even though Ortho and his father hated the group.

"So we're gonna let you both go." Henry smiled too.

"As long as you don't mention any of this to anyone." (y/n) tried to use her puppy-dog eyes, but it seemed they only worked on Ray, as Ortho and his father strongly disagreed.

"Are you nuts?" 

"As soon as we get out of here, we're going right to the police." The father confirmed, making the group tense in fear. Ray didn't know what else to do, so he took his laser control from his utility belt.

"Well, in that case.." He shot both of them again, making (y/n) look at him with a puzzled face.

"What was that for? Don't you think we've traumatised them enough?" She said, Henry and Charlotte agreeing with her.

"Just help me get them down." Captain Man said tiredly.

"Aw, man," Charlotte said, as she and Henry grabbed Ortho and Ray and (y/n) dealt with his father.

~

They took the unconscious bodies to a shady back alley in downtown Swellview. Henry dragged Ortho as Ray and (y/n) dumped his father from a shopping cart. He flopped onto the floor, making Charlotte sigh with impatience.

"Will you guys hurry up?" She asked, not wanting to get caught. 

"What about when they wake up? They're gonna get us in trouble." Henry pointed out, so Ray grabbed his memory eraser.

"Not if they don't remember anything that happened." He said, quickly using it on Ortho and his father, much to (y/n)'s anger.

"We can't leave them here not knowing who they are or where they live." She scolded him, but Ray thought it was for the best.

"Now, they won't remember anything?" Henry wanted to confirm.

"Not a thing," Ray smirked, and his sidekick thought it was pretty awesome. The men on the floor started to move.

"They're waking up!" Charlotte noticed, but (y/n) didn't like the thought of them being left alone with no memories.

"You're seriously not suggesting that we--" Ray left no room for her to argue, as he grabbed her wrist and threw her over his shoulder in a fireman's lift. 

"Raymond! I swear to God, put me down!" She thumped his back and kicked her legs, but the man holding her ignore it.

"Run!" He said, and the group quickly escaped before Ortho or his father spotted them. They sprinted to the Man Van and Ray dumped (y/n) onto the back seat before getting in the front and speeding away.

"Sometimes I want to break your face." She sulked from the back.

"You know a face this handsome can't be broken." Ray quipped, causing her cheeks to warm and silence to fall over her. Looking up in the mirror, Henry and Charlotte smirked to themselves, knowing the effect Ray's words had on her, even if he never noticed it.

[theclassclone]

Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody... Girls?

Chapter 8

Word Count: 3,591 TW: Canon-typical Master List || Previous || Next

“Previously on a very special Clone High: Joan accidentally discovered Harriet and Frida’s juiciest secret and revealed her own,” CJ narrated. “Let’s see what the hell spawn are up to now.” Abe inhaled deeply. “CJ, we talked about this.” “No, we didn’t.”

Harriet kicked her feet and propped herself back up on her elbows. She rested her palms against her cheeks and stared at CJ with a giddy expression; her eyes sparkled with the excitement of what CJ’s deepest, darkest secret is. Frida sat on the ground with her legs stretched straight out. She draped her arms over her thighs and tried her hardest not to nod off after their exciting night of digging and refilling a hole in the ground. She, like Harriet, had to change out of her soaked union suit pajamas into something that wasn’t soaking wet. Joan lay across the floor next to Frida with her chin pressed against her fist to prop herself up. She glanced up at Frida from time to time to see if she had fallen asleep or not. She was less than enthused to hear about CJ’s deepest, darkest secret because she was still so embarrassed about her own. CJ sat up on Harriet’s bed and kicked her heels against the drawers that were hidden behind the bed skirt. She draped her left arm over her lap and warmed her right hand up beneath her leg. Her fading copper hair still dripped sporadically because it just held moisture like no one’s business.

“Alright, CJ, what’s your juiciest secret?” Harriet asked excitedly. “Is it about that crush? Something crazy? Is it actually really boring? Do you have actual skeletons in your closet?” She dropped her hands onto the bed and tilted her head, grinning from ear to ear. She stretched her arms toward CJ and threatened to make physical contact with her.

“Yikes.” CJ looked at Harriet and leaned her body away from the crazed adolescent. “It’s definitely not as bad as a dead body or a sex dream about Lincoln,” she shuddered. “Abraham Lincoln of all people. Yuck—you know the original Abraham Lincoln partied hard. He slept with men behind his wife’s back, too.”

Harriet raised an eyebrow. “Why do you know this?”

“Why would you tell us that?” Joan slowly looked up at CJ with some semblance of disgust.

CJ shrugged her shoulders and leaned her head toward Harriet. “I have acquired a lot of useless information over the years, and I can’t remember where most of it came from.” She licked her dry lips. “I thought you moved on from your crush on Abe because he…erm…ignored you for years?”

Joan rolled her eyes. “Just a dream! I bet you’ve had a dream like that before.”

“Huh,” CJ laughed. “Even if I did, I’m not telling any of you because I don’t want jokes about it between the four of us.” She frowned and looked away from the three adolescents, trying to think of a secret that she could willingly give up to these teenage girls. “Thinking of a secret is hard.”

Frida snorted, suddenly paying attention to the conversation the other three adolescents were having. “What, no way. You’re like the most mysterious girl at school, that’s why you became my Vice Prez. We know nothing about you! You gotta have something to tell us!”

CJ exhaled sharply and looked down at Frida. “You guys make it look so easy. Like… I don’t know. What kind of secret do you want?”

“Something juicy!” Harriet squealed.

“Well, that doesn’t help me.” CJ glanced at Harriet. “I don’t have a crush on anyone, so if that’s what you’re looking for, you can forget about that one.”

Harriet hummed. “Shoot. Alright, will you tell us anything about who you are or your foster family?”

CJ inhaled deeply. “Ah,” she looked toward the ceiling. “That doesn’t seem juicy to me. I mean, murder is juicer than being a clone. A sex dream with Lincoln is juicier than my home life.” She looked back down at Joan and Frida. “I think I live a pretty mundane life outside of school, honestly.”

“Alright, alright.” Frida nodded. “How about something personal then? Inner feelings?”

CJ nodded slightly. “Personal I can do. Maybe.” She pulled her right hand from beneath her leg; she lifted her left hand and fiddled with the fraying gauze at chest level. She stared down at her hands with her constantly tired-looking downturned eyes. “I suppose you can consider my personality a front; I pretend to hate everyone. Now, don’t take that as I enjoy everyone’s company because I do not. There are plenty of people I do not want around me, and that’s most people if I’m being honest. I enjoy my own company more than anyone else’s.” She looked up at Frida, feigning eye contact. “I am a bit of a narcissist, I am full of myself, but I can admit that I make plenty of mistakes.” She looked away from Frida and glanced at Joan for a moment.

“So, you’re fake?” Joan asked.

CJ drew the corners of her lips back and stared at the floor in front of her. “Well, yes, if that’s what you call it.” She nodded. “Honestly, what I want to get across here is that I put up this front because I’ve struggled with making connections with my peers for so many years that I’m just so… so angry and upset,” she glanced next to her at Harriet and rested her hands on her knees. “I’ve always found forming bonds and maintaining relationships to be challenging and I saw other people as mean to me, I thought that it was easier to be alone and that I should just treat people the way I was always treated. I thought something would come of it—respect, friendship, something. But I was still alone.” She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head slightly.

“Definitely not bad. That’s really sad though.” Frida said.

Harriet looked at CJ with saucers for eyes. “We’re your friends now.” She clasped her hands together and smiled endearingly at her.

“No thanks.” CJ raised her right hand to the side of her face in an attempt to block Harriet from her peripheral vision. “Not with those mercury poisoning eyes.”

Frida snorted. “Oh, the saucers. Just ignore her, they’ll go away.” She assured CJ through a fit of laughter. “She watched anime as a kid.”

Joan covered her mouth with her hand as she laughed. “Jeez, those are big eyes.”

“Is she still looking at me?” CJ asked.

“Yeah.” Joan and Frida nodded.

CJ frowned. “Eugh.” She crossed her arm over her mouth and yawned into her elbow. “Shit.”

“Hey, about JFK, do you really want to be his friend, or is he really upsetting you?” Joan asked.

CJ grimaced at the question because she could only repeat herself a handful of times before she was ready to deepthroat a gun. It’s not like CJ hadn’t openly admitted to not wanting to engage with JFK because of Joan herself. It’s not like JFK wasn’t aware of the alleged rumor that his girlfriend was jealous or had something against CJ and CJ did not want to engage with him for this reason. But CJ could only say this so many times and it never seemed to click in either of their brains. “Um, I mean, I don’t know. I don’t even know why you’re asking again; we’ve gone over this. I don’t really want to upset anyone. He seems to want to be my friend, but I don’t know what you’re like as a girlfriend and I don’t want to step on any toes—er, upset anyone.” She tried to explain for what she hoped was the last time. “Ah, forget it. Just forget it. No. No, I don’t.”

“Oh, okay.” Joan nodded; a small smile began to creep along her face. “Got it.”

“Man, stop reminding everyone that you’re not single. I’ve got no one to take to Hoco this year.” Frida leaned back on her elbows. “That reminds me—.”

Harriet threw a pillow at Frida. “Stop it, you could ask anyone, and they’d say yes. You always have someone to take, you literally always go with friends.”

CJ chuckled lightly. “You actually like Homecoming?”

Frida pulled the pillow off of her face. “Ay, leave me and my platonic dates alone, Harriet. I want a romantic one this year.” She glanced at CJ. “I love Hoco, I can’t believe you seriously asked me that, girl. Are you taking anyone to Hoco? I mean, you are planning it and all.”

CJ inhaled deeply and leaned away from the sleepover attendees. “My horoscope said the next two years will be absolute ass for me, I’m not even going to risk it.” She had a small lopsided grin on her face, but it quickly faded at the thought of actually having to attend homecoming in October.

Frida snorted. “Bruh. Ask someone, if you get rejected, I’ll go with you.”

CJ pursed her lips and tried to hold back a slight smile. She knitted her eyebrows together and narrowed her eyes at Frida. “I’m confused but also intrigued.”

“We’ll go as friends, the Prez and Vice Prez going to Hoco together would be so rad.” Frida tried to convince CJ. “Just let me know if you get rejected.”

“How will that work if you’re taking someone else?” CJ asked.

Frida glanced around the room, trapped in her own plan because she didn’t think about that part. “Uh-huh. I’ll get back to you on that,” she pointed at CJ.

“Guys, it’s almost 3 AM!” Harriet jumped on her bed, adjusting herself from her stomach to sitting next to CJ. “C’mon, we’re going to miss out.”

“You’re too excited.” Joan commented; she rolled her eyes and tried her hardest not to let a laugh slip past her lips. She glanced at CJ and smirked. “Any tips for a successful summoning?”

CJ’s eyes circled the room, and she leaned away from the small group of teenage girls. “Not exactly. We’re performing the ritual at the witching hour; I suggest some spell candles. Or regular candles. Those will do fine. Fire, none of this electricity bullshit.” She waved her hand as she explained the literal basics behind rituals.

“Regular candles I can do… are scented fine?” Harriet jumped off of her bed and headed toward the door without stepping on Frida or Joan. She stood in the door frame; she gripped the door frame and looked back at CJ.

CJ drew her the corners of her lips back and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t see why not. Sage and palo santo have natural fragrance… most candles should be made of essential oils because it’s 2023…” She allowed her voice to trail as she was actually uncertain about that one little detail and was too prideful to admit it.

Harriet disappeared into the depths of her house, leaving Joan, Frida, and CJ to their own devices while she scoured her home for some candles that they could use for their little ritual. Frida showed off her crystal and rock specimen bracelets; Joan listened to her brief spiritual lesson with sparkling eyes. CJ listened intently but didn’t exactly agree with the notion that crystals have spiritual properties. But she could agree that rocks and crystals were fun to collect.

Harriet poked her head back into the room. “Come on, guys.” She stuck her hand in the door and waved one of the candles. “I found some candles.”

“Of course, you did.” Frida groaned; she rolled her eyes and slightly rocked her body backward, gripping her ankles.

“C’mon, c’mon.” Harriet waved her hand, urging them to get up and join her; the longer they delayed, the more aggressive Harriet sounded. “Let’s go.”

“Alright, alright.” Frida huffed.

CJ whined. “Man, I’m still recovering from being outside.”

Joan snorted. “I thought vampires went outside at night.” She sat up and pulled herself to her feet.

CJ shook her head. “I’m much worse than a vampire…” She jumped off of Harriet’s bed and walked between Frida and Joan. “I’m not even a fully functional member of society.” She spoke proudly and pressed the tips of her fingers to her chest.

Frida pursed her lips and stifled her laughter as she pulled herself to her feet. “I shouldn’t laugh, but that was iconic. The walk of royalty and the most deprecating comment. She was so proud of it.” She placed a hand on Joan’s shoulder and laughed. “Man.”

“Don’t laugh too hard, you don’t want to take yourself and Joan down like the twin towers.” CJ looked over her shoulder.

“Stop it!” Frida wheezed.

Joan’s smile quickly faded; she looked between the 3 clones born in 2007. “I’m sorry, did you just make a joke about a national tragedy? People died. Many people died. It’s not something to joke about.”

Frida turned her back to CJ and Harriet, who were still giggling over CJ’s dark humor. “Don’t sweat, you’ll come to learn that our humor today is very dark. We know it’s a huge tragedy and we don’t act like it isn’t, we still celebrate the lives of our heroes and mourn the losses of the innocent.” She explained. “I’m sure you and your friends had a few slick jokes here and there, I mean, we don’t use a lot of the terms you guys used to say because they’re outdated and don’t fit our culture.” She walked backward into Harriet, who placed a hand on her shoulder.

Joan inhaled sharply and rubbed her arm nervously. “Right… your woke culture isn’t making much sense to me.” She shook her head. “We can’t say ‘retarded’, ‘gay’ isn’t an insult anymore—which I can completely understand, but you make jokes about real life tragedies?” She drew her eyebrows together and followed the three adolescent females out of Harriet’s room. “It’s weird. Don’t you think?”

“I certainly do, but I err on the side of offending people.” CJ pushed the bathroom door open. “I rather enjoy my dark humor, it’s very fitting for the persona that I tend to have. And it adds a little bit of dramatic flair. Oh, and shock value.” She walked into the bathroom and stood in front of the sink. She held the candle that Harriet had handed her in front of her chest.

Frida and Harriet slipped into the bathroom behind her, Harriet stood on the far side and Frida stood next to her, leaving Joan to stand opposite CJ and closest to the door. Harriet passed the candles to Frida and Joan and handed a lighter down the line, allowing each adolescent to light their own candle—which Harriet, Frida, and Joan did with ease, CJ, on the other hand, had refused assistance and opted to place the candle down on the counterspace and lit it that way.

“I just don’t get it.” Joan mumbled.

“You don’t have to.” CJ reminded her; she leaned down to whisper to her. “Quite honestly, I don’t understand how someone as uptight and pushy as Harriet made friends with someone as relaxed a Frida. I don’t know how they can even stand each other, but I don’t openly question it, nor do I comment on it… Except for just now.”

“Joan, hit the light!” Harriet raised her voice.

Joan nearly jumped out of her skin and did as she was told; she flicked the bathroom lights off and stared into the mirror with Harriet, Frida, and CJ. The bathroom was only illuminated by the candles and Harriet kept glancing down at her dim phone to watch the time—she would not let any of them begin the ritual until it was exactly 3 AM. Which made it awkward; they stared at their reflections in the dimly lit mirror. CJ’s eyes bounced between each adolescent, feeling an overwhelming sense of discomfort each time she glanced at Harriet or Joan’s reflections but didn’t seem to mind looking at Frida’s (she could have sworn that Frida’s eyes were bouncing around the mirror, and they might have made eye contact through the mirror at least once). Once it was the witching hour, the four of them began to ritual and called upon Bloody Mary by repeating her name into the mirror three times. A young woman, maybe 20 or 30 years old, drenched in blood and donning a ghastly white dress appeared before them in the mirror. She raised her arms and screeched, trying to frighten the four adolescents; her screech blew out their candles, and knocked Frida off balance. Frida gripped Harriet in fear (Harriet, likewise, gripped Frida in fear, but neither of them made a sound). Joan stepped into the door, only slightly startled by the apparition’s visitation. CJ stared the apparition down, masking her own fear with something along the lines of confidence. She continued to hold the candle in front of her chest as if the flame never went out.

“Do you want to watch a movie with us?” She asked.

The apparition calmed down and pointed at herself, shocked that she was being invited to watch a movie with the sleepover attendees that performed a ritual to be frightened by her.

Joan looked at CJ and laughed breathlessly. “CJ!?”

“What?” CJ turned her head to look at Joan. “Do you think anyone that summons Mary asks her to spend time with them?”

Joan pushed herself off of the door and leaned into CJ instead. “I didn’t think of it like that, it could be fun, actually. The more the merrier, right?”

Frida and Harriet pushed themselves against CJ and Joan, pushing Joan back into the door. Frida and Harriet reached for one of the apparitions’ hands to pull her from the mirror so that she could join them for the rest of the sleepover. Bloody Mary pushed her bloodied hands through the mirror, soaking everything in blood, and grasped Harriet and Frida’s hands; they pulled her through the mirror, splashing the entire bathroom, themselves, CJ, and Joan with millennia old blood. The five females scampered out of the bathroom and ran toward the living room; CJ was quick to fall behind, stumbling over her own two feet, and being dragged along my Bloody Mary (who was silently appreciative of the invitation).

Frida dove onto the couch and grabbed the remote. Joan took her spot on the floor again, leaving room for Harriet; Harriet ran into the kitchen to replenish drinks and snacks while Frida tried to pick a movie for everyone. CJ walked around Joan, intending to set with Frida on the couch, but Bloody Mary had taken it upon herself to pull her down to the floor; Blood Mary sandwiched herself between Joan and CJ, looping and arm through Joan’s and her other through CJ’s. CJ simply sat there, stunned and had yet to readjust herself to sit comfortably. Frida snickered at CJ’s slight misfortune.

Harriet rejoined the sleepover attendees with more snacks and drinks; Frida had immediately removed herself from the couch and lay across the laps of the four other females. Joan and Harriet held onto each other for the majority of the movie. Bloody Mary and CJ held onto each other and Frida each time they were frightened by the movie scenes (because this time CJ paid attention to the movie). And every jump that Bloody Mary made, she splattered blood over her new friends, the blankets, and the furniture around them. It lightened the mood each time. Once the credits started rolling, Harriet sneakily instigated a pillow fight by smacking a throw pillow against Frida as she continued to lay across everyone’s laps. Frida was quick to get up and try to show her who was boss. Joan, CJ, and Bloody Mary started out less competitive than the other two; Bloody Mary would spread blood each time she was hit with a pillow, not only drenching the pillow, but splattering the substance in the surrounding area. The teenagers and apparition laughed. The pillow fight soon grew competitive across the five individuals involved when Frida swiped CJ left and right rapidly—CJ was not going to take that kind of strike lightly.

The living room and Harriet’s room, by the end of the pillow fight, was covered in blood from engaging with Bloody Mary (not to mention, the bathroom was covered in blood from pulling her out of the mirror). The apparition waved at the four sleepover attendees and slowly backed away into the bathroom and vanished into the mirror; the blood disappeared as Bloody Mary did. The four adolescents slunk out of the bathroom and dragged their feet back into Harriet’s brightly lit bedroom. CJ dragged her feet toward Harriet’s soft bed and sat down, she slumped over and groaned. Joan and Harriet laughed from the floor, despite themselves being overly exhausted from their entire night of bonding as well. Frida lay back on Harriet’s bed with CJ and sighed.

“Wicked.” CJ looked up and had a crooked smile across her face as she nodded at the easy clean up.

Harriet blinked. “Wow.”

Frida stretched her arms, hitting CJ’s shoulders, and yawned. “How long until school starts?”

Joan tapped the screen of Harriet’s phone and peered at the time. “Uhm, can we just show up at lunch?”

CJ glanced down at her own phone. “Awh, shit. I vote not going at all.”

“I’m not ruining my perfect attendance, start getting ready!” Harriet raised her voice.

Frida, Joan, and CJ groaned.

[rabbitcruiser]

National Fresh Squeezed Juice Day

Packed with vitamins and bursting with flavor, there's nothing quite like a tall glass of fresh squeezed juice!

Get those vitamins and other nutrients into that diet the easy way, with fresh squeezed juice! Enjoy a simple and basic glass of fresh squeezed orange juice, or go for a blend that is a bit more unique and exotic, such as passion fruit with avocado or clementine with ginger.

No matter which type is the favorite, National Fresh Squeezed Juice Day is the time to enjoy and appreciate all of the vegetable and fruit concoctions that can be squeezed into a tall glass!

History of National Fresh Squeezed Juice Day

It’s likely that people have been enjoying fresh squeezed juice in a rudimentary manner ever since humans have been eating fruit! Ripe citrus fruits, in particular, can easily be “juiced” by hand, simply by squishing and rolling around an orange or grapefruit in the hand until the internal parts break down and the inside is deliciously juicy. Then, the fresh squeezed juice can be extracted by cutting a hole in one end and pressing the juice out into a glass.

It wasn’t until 1930 or so, though, that the mechanical device known as a juicer was developed by an Italian-British businessman, Dr. Normal Walker. This development of this machine allowed juice to be extracted from many more fruits and vegetables in a much more efficient manner.

In the 1970s, the trend toward eating more raw fruits and vegetables started, predominantly in the western United States, particularly in California. As the health benefits of natural eating became more widespread, the fresh squeezed juice craze evolved and moved into the mainstream in the 1990s as juice bars began cropping up.

National Fresh Squeezed Juice Day takes place early in the year, acting as a motivator for forming new habits or living out those New Year’s resolutions. Celebrating the healthy lifestyle that can come from including more fruits and vegetables into the daily routine, this is the day to enjoy a giant glass of fresh squeezed juice!

How to Celebrate National Fresh Squeezed Juice Day

Take advantage of the many opportunities to get healthy and happy on National Fresh Squeezed Juice Day! Try out some of these ideas for celebrating and enjoying the day:

Go Out for Fresh Squeezed Juice

Juice bars and farmers’ markets are all the rage these days, so getting access to fresh squeezed juice is even easier. National Fresh Squeezed Juice Day is just the time to stop by a tasty juice bar. Many cities and towns have their own locally owned juice bars, and supporting these businesses is a great way to celebrate the day.

For those who are interested in finding one that is part of a chain of juice bars, consider stopping by one of these for a glass of fresh squeezed juice. They might even offer a discount in honor of this important day!

Juice it Up! With more than 85 locations throughout the United States, this franchise chain has been making freshly squeezed juice since 1995, offering not only fresh squeezed juices but also smoothies and acai bowls.

Nékter Juice Bar. Founded in California, this company makes its juice bars available within more than 150 restaurants throughout the US where it offers raw, fresh squeezed juices as well as other healthy drinks and snacks.

Raw Jūce. This south Florida chain of raw juice bars has been around since 2013 and offers freshly squeezed juices that come from the brand’s own organic produce company, Fresh Harvest Organics, with farm-to-bottle standards.

I Love Juice Bar. At least thirty expressions of this company’s juice bar locations can be found mostly throughout the southern United States, especially in Tennessee and Texas.

Consider Purchasing a Juicer

Those who really want to get motivated to get into the life of juicing may want to do some research and purchase a juicer for their home. Some of these juicers might be options for getting on a healthier track by drinking fresh squeezed juice at home each day:

Nutribullet Slow Juicer. Easy to clean and with a quiet motor, this juicer is also super compact so it doesn’t take up a lot of counter space or other precious real estate in the kitchen!

Hamilton Beach Big Mouth Juicer. Offering a super affordable price, this juicer is easy to set up and has a wide mouth that can handle whole apples all at once.

Omega Slow Juicer. Completely dishwasher safe so it’s super easy to clean, this super convenient piece of equipment is a bit on the pricey side but is versatile enough to also make nut butters, pasta, breadsticks and milks.

Breville 3X Bluicer. A great combination of blender and juicer, this one is a perfect introduction to the world of juicing without having to make a huge commitment.

Enjoy Some Fresh Squeezed Juice at Home

Making blends of juices can be a fun and creative way to stay healthy and also add variety to what could be an otherwise boring day. For people who want to keep it simple, it can be as easy as rolling that grapefruit around on the counter and then sticking a straw in it to drink the yummy juice out!

People who already have a juicer might want to try out some of these super healthy and interesting combination recipes for fresh squeezed juice:

Pineapple Celery Green Juice. Loaded with nutrients and filled with anti-inflammatory properties and antioxidants, this combination takes only five minutes and can help with digestive problems too.

Mango Spinach Fresh Squeezed Juice. Full of bright colors and flavors, the spinach offers a ton of nutrients and a yummy taste is added with fresh mint, freshly squeezed lime juice and freshly squeezed orange juice.

Ginger Turmeric Lemonade. Using freshly squeezed lemons, this recipe brings health and flavor to the forefront with spices like black peppercorns, turmeric and ginger.

Orange Carrot Ginger Fresh Squeezed Juice. Perfect for breakfast, this juice really packs a punch with antioxidants and vitamins, and the ginger helps the body to heal or fight off chronic illness and disease.

National Fresh Squeezed Juice Day FAQs

Are fresh squeezed juices good for you?

Fresh squeezed juices are high in vitamins and minerals, but may raise the blood sugar levels and do not have as much fiber as a piece of whole fruit.

How long is fresh squeezed lemon juice good for?

In drinks, lemon juice stays fresh for a few days but fresh squeezed lemon juice can be used for cooking for up to 14 days.

Can you freeze fresh squeezed orange juice?

Sure! Fresh squeezed orange juice can be frozen to preserve its life for up to 12-14 months.

How to make fresh squeezed orange juice?

The easiest way is to roll an orange around on the counter several times until it is soft, heat it briefly in the microwave, then cut into eight pieces to squeeze the juice out.

Are fresh squeezed juices safe during pregnancy?

Fresh squeezed juices sold by the glass may not be pasteurized to kill harmful bacteria, making them particularly unsafe for pregnant women and children.

Source

[atplblog]

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[addierose444]

My Kitchen Essentials 

One of my favorite things about having my own apartment has been having my own kitchen. Furnishing the rest of my apartment was an expensive and sort of stressful process. The kitchen however has been a lot more fun because I inherently find kitchen gear more interesting and had enough of the basics to get started without breaking the bank. Because I keep my meals simple and only work with ingredients that I enjoy, I genuinely love cooking for myself. I shared my peanut butter overnight oats and tofu rice bowl recipes in a post about Sunday meal prep a few months ago, but am hoping to share more of my go-to meals in a proper recipe format. 

The core essentials that I brought from home include a 10-inch cast iron pan, a 1.5-quart stainless steel pot, a small wooden cutting board, a pairing knife, a chef's knife, and a pair of scissors. I also brought a basic set of dry measuring cups (¼ cup, ⅓ cup, and ½ cup) and measuring spoons. While I haven’t done any baking here and don’t follow recipes when cooking for myself, the measuring cups have been really useful for cooking various grains. A few items that I brought but haven’t used include a lemon juicer, a garlic press, and a silicone pastry brush. As for non-cooking kitchen basics, I was fortunate enough to be handed down a set of both dishes and silverware and to be gifted a nice wooden salad bowl. I also brought a utensil crock, a mini teapot, two mugs, two glasses, and a few food storage containers from home. 

To further round out my setup, I picked up a sieve (which I use for rinsing rice), half and quarter-rimmed sheet pans (which I currently primarily use for baking tofu and green beans for my rice bowls), a wooden spatula, and a potholder. I love cheese, so a personal essential of mine is a grater. I use it to grate cheddar for my cheesy polenta (which I serve with chicken apple sausage and peppers), pecorino romano for carbonara, and parmesan for Caesar salads among other things. I may eventually add a box grater to my setup, but have thus far been happy with this paddle-style grater that I picked up on my first full day in Washington State. Another item that I bought immediately, but have not personally used is a pair of kitchen tongs. (They did come in handy though for a work picnic). While I don’t regret the purchase per se, this just goes to show the true value of starting with the bare minimum and slowly building out your setup as you discover the limitations through experience. Other kitchen essentials that I picked up but that aren’t directly used for cooking include an airtight container for my rice, a glass food storage container for my lunch, a dish drying mat, sponges, and dish soap. 

It’s not essential, but one fun recent addition to my kitchen is the rice cooker I got for Christmas. The resulting rice is notably better than my stovetop rice, but I will note that it doesn’t exactly save time as the rice is supposed to soak for 30 minutes, cook for 15, and steam for another 15. Another important note is that the measuring cup that comes with the cooker is only about ¾ cup. Thus, when I made my first batch of rice I was a bit thrown off and only had enough rice for three rice bowls instead of my usual four. I made a double batch the second time around which allowed me to create five rice bowls instead. 

While I’m not set up for baking or cooking for a crowd, I truly do have all that I need to cook for myself. Nonetheless, I’m excited to continue building out my kitchen! A few items that I’m considering adding at some point in the future include a kitchen scale, a larger pot, a mixing bowl, a meat thermometer, an immersion blender, and an ice cream maker. We’ll see though because I’m not yet convinced that these items would get regular enough use to justify the cost and space they’d take up in my small kitchen. 

[sassyandclassy94]

The Kentucky Derby is this week and I still have not picked my horse😭 I’ve been following horse racing (now from a clear distance) for 18 years and this is the first time I haven’t picked a horse a month in advance. I’ve had more pressing concerns and new interests, y’know?

But I do know I’m not picking ANY Todd Pletcher horses🤬 That man is a terrible human being to both his barn hands AND his horses and is a secret juicer and I do not stand for nor support a person like him in the industry. I wish the horse racing associations would crack down on him like they did Bob Baffert.

Horses and their handlers deserve better.

[bookwormscififan]

Attracted to the Workout

Read on AO3!

A/N: I greet you this morning with some PhantomHero content, where Jackie catches Phantom watching him work out and things get heated.

Warnings: smut. I started writing this and realised I didn't like writing this as a relatively family-friendly piece.

--

Phantom smiled, folding his arms across his chest as he leaned against the wall, watching Jackie work out. His eyes travelled from Jackie’s focused eyes to his chest, watching the muscles shift under the skin as he lifted another weight, flexing his stomach muscles to hold the weight before lowering it, letting out a small yelp when he noticed Phantom.

“Don’t stop on my account,” Phantom chuckled, pushing off the wall and walking toward Jackie, just barely brushing his fingers against the flushed skin of his chest. “I was rather enjoying the show.”

“It’s just a workout,” Jackie mumbled, picking up a towel to wipe his brow. “I don’t see how it could be a show…” he trailed off as Phantom circled him, reaching his hands out to touch his muscles.

“Do you have a juice press here somewhere?” Phantom asked, voice husky as he wrapped a hand around Jackie’s upper arm. “I’m suddenly very thirsty for some orange juice.” His gaze was heated as he looked at Jackie, lips curling into a mischievous smile.

“I mean, I’ve got a juicer in the kitchen, but I don’t think I’ve got any—” he hummed when Phantom pulled him forward into a kiss, still holding tightly to his arm as his other hand slipped under his shirt, hiking it up enough to scrape his fingernails down his stomach. “Oh, I see,” Jackie whispered when Phantom pulled away, hands falling to his hips and lifting him up, setting him down on the bench by the equipment and moving back in for a kiss, grip tightening when Phantom slipped his tongue into his mouth.

“I have lube,” Phantom said against Jackie’s lips, biting gently on his bottom lip, “And the wall looks really solid.” He giggled as Jackie growled against his mouth, arms wrapping around Jackie’s neck as he was lifted and carried to the wall, grunting as his back hit it, hooking his ankles behind Jackie’s back.

Jackie pulled the small packet of lube from Phantom’s pocket, holding him up with one arm while he used his teeth to tear the pack open, reaching down to undo Phantom’s pants and push them down before coating his fingers in the lube.

Phantom pressed open-mouthed kisses against Jackie’s neck, biting gently into the skin as Jackie pushed a finger in, hands gripping the back of Jackie’s shirt and rocking his hips onto his finger, moaning when Jackie added a second.

“More,” Phantom panted as Jackie pumped three fingers into him, reaching a hand down to pull at the waistband of Jackie’s sweatpants, whining when the hero removed his fingers before gasping as he teased the head of his cock against him. He bit into Jackie’s shoulder as he pushed in slowly, groaning into the skin as he adjusted, rocking his hips in a signal for Jackie to move.

Jackie set a harsh pace, thrusting into Phantom as he held him against the wall, unable to move too far with Phantom’s legs wrapped around his waist. Kissing down Phantom’s neck, he licked at the sweat on his collarbone as he reached down to wrap his hand around Phantom’s cock, matching the speed of his strokes with his thrusts, listening to Phantom panting and moaning before spilling into his hand, only thrusting a few more times before releasing inside Phantom, slowly sliding to the ground with Phantom in his lap.

The duo panted as they came down from their highs, Phantom whimpering slightly as Jackie pulled out, head tucked into Jackie’s shoulder as his hands slid down his arms to rest by his sides. Jackie kissed Phantom’s temple, manoeuvring him to remove his shirt and using that to clean his hand, then pulling his own shirt off and resting his hands on Phantom’s waist.

“Still with me?” Jackie asked, chuckling when Phantom giggled, kissing his shoulder lazily. “Taking that as a no, then. Bath time?” He asked, lifting Phantom’s head to kiss him, slowly getting to his feet and carrying Phantom to the bathroom, ready to take care of his blissed-out boyfriend.

------

@iamvegorott @brokentimewatch