#halfway through my writing goal for this chapter

[cha1cedony]

Sigh. Tomorrow. I'll do more. tomorrow 🥲

[hondayota]

Chapters: 8/15 Fandom: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater, Dreamer Trilogy - Maggie Stiefvater Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Jordan/Declan Lynch, Adam Parrish & Blue Sargent, Richard Gansey III & Ronan Lynch, Hennessy & Ronan Lynch Characters: Ronan Lynch, Adam Parrish, Richard Gansey III, Blue Sargent, Jordan (Dreamer Trilogy), Hennessy (Dreamer Trilogy), Noah Czerny, Joseph Kavinsky, Orphan Girl | Opal, Declan Lynch, Matthew Lynch Additional Tags: Light Angst, Slow Burn, the sandman au, where ronan is dream and adam is hob, do not need to have watched the sandman to understand, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, characters have been slightly aged up, might be slightly ooc sorry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Eye Trauma, Kavinsky/Corinthian is his own warning, Blood and Violence Summary:

“I don’t understand why someone would want an eternity on this earth,” Ronan said, turning away. He didn’t want to think about the man’s hands, almost boyish, calloused, long fingers and bony knuckles, or his smile, a casual thing, lips turning up in a false laugh at a bad joke. His name was Adam Parrish. Ronan didn’t want to think about that name, how the letters fit on his tongue, how it would sound out of his mouth.

 A Sandman AU where Ronan is the Greywaren, King of Dreams and Nightmares, Adam Parrish is a human granted immortality, and they meet every 100 years. Centuries-long pining ensues.

[writer-logbook]

How to get back into writing: a 5-steps guide

As someone who hasn't written anything in a decade, this is what I did to get back into writing seriously.

Identify which archetype of writer fits me better. You may have heard George R.R. Martin saying there are two types of writers: gardeners and architects. Whether you believe in that statement or not isn't relevant per se, but the actual meaning behind that point is that you need to get to know yourself as a writer, how you work, what you need, etc., so you can adapt your environment to achieve your goals. Speaking of which…Gentle reminder : you're a person not a robot. You are allowed to work the way you want to, and not to follow whatever pieces of advice that are linked to these archetypes.

Set a realistic word count/session I can stick to over the long term. When you're a 9-6 office employee, it's not always easy to find time to write and sometime our day at work got the very best of us. Having that in mind, I set my word count up to 200-500 words per session or 1 chapter per week (they're rather small in my case). Gentle reminder : babysteps are better than no-step at all.

If I'm not writing, fine, I'll do some research or anything else. Your story will always require something from you. When I'm not in the mood for writing, there are two options : forcing myself or doing what I call para-writing. For instance it's : reading articles or books about improving my writing style, improving my worldbuilding, drawing a map of my city etc. This are not things that would appear in the novel but it would guide me throughout the process the way a walking-stick would do for an injured man. Gentle reminder : you always find something useful to do but at the end of the day, you still have to write.

Have a general idea of what I want to tell. I won't lie, I've plotted my entire novel from the very beginning to the very end, which means I know exactly what to write and when. If you're against having a defined plot, I'm no one to judge, but having at least the key events or the major points will definitely help you. Like a lighthouse, it will help you navigate through the mists of confusion or hesitation. Gentle reminder : It's better to know where to go even if you end up losing yourself along the journey. Having the map doesn't mean you have to follow it, but rather when you can allow yourself to take a step to the side.

Write something I enjoy. A bit cliché I admit, but it's the best advice I could give. You'll spend hours, days, weeks - even years !- on that story so better buckle up to something you really want to write. Otherwise the risk is to abandon that hard-work you've done halfway through the process. No one needs that frustration and that self-doubting questionnings. No one. Not you. Not even me. Gentle reminder : it's okay to want readers and reviews but I promise you, your writing will be really different on something you trully want to share...Remember how pissful it was to write an essay for class you didn't want to ?

[wordsnstuff]

Hey, so i'm working on my first WIP, and i wanted to ask about drafting. When can one consider their first draft done? Does it have to have the goal word count (ie; 100K), or would being about halfway there be considered a good enough first draft, that i can move on to the second and start editing?

Concluding each stage of the writing process

It's difficult to know when a phase of a writing project has concluded and you're ready to focus on a new objective as it's developing. I tend to approach my writing projects with a clear and uniform trajectory, regardless of how diverse my projects can be. This approach allows me to remain focused, thorough, and reassured that I am covering all my bases in an organized fashion. However, it also maintains space for me to be explorative and intuitive when necessary. In regards to word count, I don't think it's entirely relevant unless you're determined to adhere to strict genre conventions. Give your story the space it needs and not an extra inch.

(Optional) Zero Draft

In this phase, you're telling yourself the story. You're doing it quickly, messily, intuitively, and forgivingly. Explore every idea that glows in the dark for you, don't throw anything away or discount any possibility. Exhaust your imagination in this phase so that when you reach the first draft, you know you're making informed decisions.

First Draft

You're crafting the structure and core elements of the story. This is often the phase of discovery. You're becoming acquainted with your characters and how they interact, you're beginning to feel at home in the world and settings you've built, and you're seeing all sides of the conflict as it evolves. The goal here is settle on a beginning, middle, and end point, and by the end of this process you want to know your characters' motivations and relationships inside and out.

Second Draft

Go back quickly through the first draft and address any points where you got stuck, where you compromised for the sake of carrying on to the end, and fill in any apparent blanks. The first time you really iron something out, there will always be a few pesky creases. This is the time to find and flatten them.

Third Draft

This is where you question everything. Identify and scrutinize your decisions, dive into the "curtains are blue" discussions with yourself, and begin to tidy up things like grammar, clumsy dialogue, over-poured descriptions, and dubious vocabulary. Comb through each paragraph and be brutal, prioritizing clarity and intentionality of how you've told the story.

The Read Through

This is the point where I recommend doing three things:

Letting it rest away from you for 1-3 months so that you can return to it with a bit of unfamiliarity and new perspective.

Hand it off to a couple of trusted readers and give them ample time to read, digest, and craft some feedback

Reread the project once all the way through making no changes (although annotations are acceptable)

Fourth Draft

Finishing touches. Vigorously and meticulously scrub and scrape between the lines and imagine giving it to your worst enemy. If you can imagine any mean (but valid) things they could conceive of to say about it, this is the time to grapple with or fix those details.

Additional Resources

Guide to Drafting

Word Count/Productivity Tracker Spreadsheet

Balancing Detail & Development

Writing The First Chapter

Writing The Middle of Your Story

Powering Through The Zero-Draft Phase

Writing The Last Chapter

Chapter Length

Happy drafting,

x Kate

[thompsborn]

“He dreams of people who have died and wonders if they miss him, too.”

literally why has no one TRACKED ME DOWN and PHYSICALLY PUNCHED ME becuase of the emotional turmoil this fic causes. i’m in PAIN. i’m also VERY proud of the fact that i wrote this but also it HURTS

“Iron Man suits double as caskets and Queens is a synonym with gravestones bearing the names of his only family” and other shit i wrote into homeward bound and COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT to the point that rereading homeward bound from the start and coming across this line made me GASP in PAIN

[erinwantstowrite]

can we get a vibe check on your current feelings about the newest chapter

like are you still feeling like RAH RAH I HATE ACTION

im a little bit less about hating the action scenes because i finally have a direction i want to go with it, but something about it is dissatisfying me. i haven't figured out what it is, however, and that's what's driving me crazy right now. maybe something's not meshing well? ik it's not an outline issue cause for action scenes i don't write one cause i will always go off script and annoy myself further. maybe it's something in the interactions that feels wrong, like i don't know the characters well enough? whatever it is, i have to find it in order to get past the action scenes. the thing is, they're relatively short, because you don't wanna drag an action scene out too long, especially in a writing format. which is good, because that means i can get past them faster. i had my action scenes and immediate action scenes set for 20,000 words as a goal and i'm halfway through that now. now that i know where i'm going with that, it's been pretty fast work. i wrote like 9000 words in two days lol. but there are other scenes i want to include at the end so that we can start Friendsgiving on chapter 20, so the chapter is probably gonna be somewhere around 24,000 words or 25,000... don't hold me to that because we know how i am. it might get way longer and i'll be like "GUYS HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED!?"

unfortunately i haven't been able to write today nor will i be able to tomorrow </3 the world is conspiring against me. like now i've gotten in the groove and i get nuked???

[writingtips-resources]

Here's How I Structure a Multi-POV Novel Without Confusion

Multi-POV novels—the kind that can either be a masterpiece or an absolute mess if you’re not careful.

When I first started writing one, I thought, How hard could it be?

But now, after some trial, error, and a lot of coffee-fueled nights, I’ve nailed down a structure that keeps things clear and engaging for readers.

Let me walk you through it—step by step

The First Rule is Every POV Must Have a Purpose and Unique Voice

If a POV doesn’t add something valuable to the story—cut it. Readers shouldn’t have to wade through pointless internal monologues about side character #47's childhood traumas.

Ask yourself:

Does this POV reveal crucial information the reader wouldn’t otherwise know?

Does it deepen emotional stakes?

Does it move the plot forward?

If you’re nodding along then.....

Good—you’ve earned that POV a seat at the table.

Imagine this:

you’re halfway through a chapter, and you can’t figure out who’s narrating.

Disaster, right?

That’s why giving each character a unique way of speaking, thinking, and being is non-negotiable.

Here’s how I do it:

Lucas: Logical, sharp, always weighing pros and cons. He’d say something like, “Emotions don’t win battles. Plans do.”

Sophie: Spirited, emotional, and unapologetically blunt. Her take? “Oh, great. Another lecture from Mr. Perfect Plan.”

See the difference? It’s not just what they say—it’s how they process the world.

The Second Rule is "Anchor Each POV with a Clear Voice and Goal"

Each character’s perspective should feel distinct. If readers can’t tell your brooding knight from your witty rogue based on narrative voice alone, you’re in trouble.

Try these tips for Voice

Adjust sentence length (a soldier might speak in short, clipped thoughts, while a scholar might ramble).

Use vocabulary that fits their personality.

Keep internal thoughts consistent with their motivations.

Also, keep in mind that "Every POV character has their own agenda".

If Lucas is all about closing a business deal, and Sophie’s trying to uncover the truth about her goddaughter’s past, their internal monologues and actions will naturally feel distinct.

Here’s what that looks like:

Lucas is obsessing over a strategy: “The numbers didn’t lie. If she couldn’t see that, it was her loss.”

Sophie is focused on her next big move: “I wasn’t backing down. Not until I got the answers Alex deserved.”

The goals drive the story forward by keeping their perspectives crystal clear.

The Third Rule is "Make the Transitions Crystal Clear and in Flow

Head-hopping mid-paragraph? Please, no.

Switching POVs mid-scene without a clear break? Also no.

Please understand that "Smooth transitions are key". Instead of jumping abruptly from one character’s head to another, I leave breadcrumbs. Like:

End Lucas’s chapter with: “I’d like to see her try.”

Start Sophie’s chapter with: “Challenge accepted.”

It’s seamless, keeps the pacing intact, and gives readers a little thrill.

Here are three golden rules for smooth transitions:

Use chapter or scene breaks.

Start each new POV with a strong opening line that grounds the reader.

If possible, include the POV character's name at the beginning.

Also, one more thing to add( before i forget)

"Use the setting to ground readers in a character’s world. If the scene opens with a high-rise office view, they’ll know it’s Lucas. If it’s a messy studio with books everywhere, it’s Sophie".

The Fourth Rule is "Keep Timelines Straight"

If two characters are narrating events that happen simultaneously, make sure the timeline aligns. Readers shouldn’t have to create a conspiracy board to figure out who was where and when.

I always create a timeline cheat sheet for myself. Sticky notes. Spreadsheets. Hieroglyphs on my office wall.

Choose-Whatever works for you...

Also, you should Clear Breaks Between POVs

No reader wants to play detective to figure out whose head they’re in. I stick to clear chapter or scene breaks for each POV switch. And yes, I label chapters with the character’s name when needed.

For example:

Chapter 5: Lucas I wasn’t in the mood for interruptions, but Sophie didn’t care about moods. Or interruptions.

Chapter 6: Sophie He looked at me like I’d just derailed his perfectly planned life. Honestly, I probably did."

The fifth Rule is "Maintain the Balance among POVs"

Not every character needs equal screen time, but every POV should feel intentional.

Main characters can carry more chapters.

Side characters should pop in when their perspective really matters.

Readers love patterns. If you’re alternating between two or three characters, stick to that order as much as possible. Don’t go: Lucas, Sophie, Lucas, Sophie, Random Villain. Chaos.

And please, for the love of storytelling, don’t introduce a new POV in the final 10 pages unless you’re trying to give your readers whiplash.

One of my favorite tricks is 👇

Ending a POV with a cliffhanger, then switching to another character. It’s a love-hate moment for readers—they have to keep going to find out what happens.

The Sixth Rule is "Work on Emotional Arcs because They Still Matter"

Every POV character needs their own emotional journey, even if they’re not the protagonist. Readers should care about their stakes, struggles, and triumphs.

Some of Key Emotional Arc Considerations are👇👇👇👇👇

What is the character's primary goal or motivation?

What obstacles or conflicts are preventing them from achieving it?

How does the character evolve or transform by the conclusion of their arc?

NOW, It's time to Test It Out (Seriously)

Hand your manuscript to a beta reader or your critique partner or maybe a writer fellow- and ask:

Did any POVs feel unnecessary?

Were the transitions smooth?

Did you ever feel lost or confused?

If they respond with, “Oh yeah, I knew exactly whose head I was in every chapter,”

Then

Boommmm—you nailed it

Share your favorite examples of well-structured multi-POV novels in the comments, and let’s discuss what made them effective.

Feel free to highlight specific techniques or moments that stood out to you.

free resources, blog, services,

[magicalmysteries777]

"You're clueless, you know that?" - Reader x Eddie Munson & Reader x Steve Harrington (fake)

Summary: You agree to accompany Steve to Enzo's for Valentine's Day with only one shared goal in mind - to make Eddie so jealous he has no choice but to have the one conversation he's being avoiding.

Pairings: F!Reader x Steve Harrington & F!Reader x Eddie Munson.

Chapter: 1 of 1.

W/C: 2314.

A/N: Happy Valentines Day, besties! This trope paired with Steve and Eddie has had me in a chokehold for a while now and I'm so happy that the lil ADHD gremlin in my brain has finally let me write the damn thing. <3

This one-shot can also be found on AO3 here.

“You really think that’ll work? Pretending to go on a date with you?” you asked, leaning against the counter at Family Video.

“It better work. Personally, I’m sick of hearing you pine over him. He’s had a thing for you ever since you joined Hellfire but he’s completely clueless when it comes to all the hints you’ve dropped,” Robin chimed in without looking up from the ‘returns’ pile of videotapes she was sorting through.

Clueless didn’t even begin to cut it.

You’d known about Eddie’s crush on you for months now, ever since Dustin slipped up and spilled the beans at lunch one day. The poor kid made you swear on your own life that you wouldn’t tell Eddie you knew.

True to your word, you kept the secret and began dropping hints instead. Eddie couldn’t read the room to save his life.

Any time you caught him staring, he’d break eye contact before you could smile back at him. Any time your hands accidentally touched, he’d move his hand away and play it off if you didn’t keep your hand perfectly still.

“I think it’s perfect,” Steve smiled. “There’s nothing like a bit of jealously to make you realise what you want.”

“I dunno,” you mumbled, chewing your cheek while you weighed up your options.

“When he sees you all dolled up, thinking it’s for me, the dots will connect. Trust me.”

“Fine, I’ll find out when he’s working.”

-

Steve’s plan had been in the back of your mind the whole time you’d been sitting around the table with your fellow Hellfire members. It was a long game of highs and lows all night. Despite the distraction, you’d manage to come out of the battle victorious with a mere five health points left. The party, albeit a little bruised and battered, was one step closer to defeating Myrkul and Eddie was in a good mood.

It took the usual fifteen minutes to pack up Eddie’s maps, dice, tokens, and other various game pieces before you climbed into the passenger side of his van. “Sorry for the mess,” Eddie apologised.

“You say that every week and yet you never clean it.”

“I do, it just gets messy again,” he smirked.

You were halfway home when you glanced over at Eddie. His hair was frizzy, sticking up in places from all the near misses in battle where he’d had his hands running through it. The rings on his left hand were glowing gently from the reflection of his lit cigarette as he used it to control the steering wheel. His right hand was methodically fiddling with the busted cassette player that he’d been meaning to fix for months. As always when Eddie was concentrating, his tongue was sticking out and resting against his top lip.

“Got it!” he exclaimed as Rainbow in the Dark started blasting from the speaker, a huge grin spread across his face.

“When are you going to buy a new one?” you chuckled, prodding at the battered box.

“Stop touching it,” he slapped your hand away. “It’ll start crackling again. I’ve picked up some overtime next weekend, I’m hoping the gents will be tipping big to impress their dates.”

“No Valentine’s plan with anyone special then?”

“Nope, just work. Doubt there’s anyone out there who would want to spend their Valentine’s Day with the ‘Freak of Hawkins’ anyway.”

“You’d be surprised, some people like their men a little freaky.”

“What about you? Any plans?” he asked, the change in tone rather subtle.

For a moment, you weren’t sure if you were going to go through with the plan. Steve’s words echoed through your mind listed the pros and cons. ‘Trust me.’

“Yeah, I’ve got a date at Enzo's. At least I don’t have to worry about it going bad now if you’re working, you can come over and scare him off for me.”

“That’s great. Wow, a date. Um, yeah, I’ll fend him off for you if things go pear-shaped. Do I, uh, know the guy?” he stuttered.

“I don’t want to jinx it,” you answered, remembering Robin's claims that a little bit of mystery would be the key to the whole plan working.

“Of course,” Eddie agreed, a sarcastically dumb look plastered on his face. You couldn’t help but notice that this was exactly how he used to act when Dustin mentioned Steve. “Would you look at that? Here we are. Once again, dropped off in one piece, as requested.”

“You okay, Ed?” you ask, one eyebrow raised.

“Yep. Fine. Tired,” he mumbled through an unconvincing yawn. “Long game. I’m gonna go and, uh, get some sleep. Night.”

-

“And he said it exactly like that?” Steve asked.

“Yes, Steve, how many times do I have to go through it? He basically kicked me out of the van,” you answered.

“It’s definitely working.”

“Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent. Wait until he finds out it’s me, he’s gonna freak.”

“He might not react at all. Believe it or not, he is professional at work.”

“Bet on it?”

“Shut up.”

-

Eddie had been an asshole all week.

Jeff and Gareth got the worst of it. You, however, had been getting the silent treatment. It was Thursday lunchtime when Eddie finally acknowledged you again.

“So, what are your plans this weekend?” Dustin asked Mike.

“Movies with El then dinner, you?”

“Arcade with Will. What about you, Eddie?”

“Work and band, why?”

“It’s called small talk,” Dustin answered. “What is with you this week?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” he snapped.

“Tell your face that, man,” added Jeff.

“Lay off it. Why don’t you ask her what she’s doing this weekend instead and leave me alone?” Eddie prompted, gesturing in your direction. He did not stick around to hear the answer, walking away dramatically.

“Well, what are you doing?” asked Dustin.

“I’ve got a date,” you answered quickly and quietly, sinking into your seat as a sense of guilt began to creep up on you.

“You what?!” asked Gareth.

“I said I’ve got a date.”

“Yeah, I heard you. The fuck do you mean you’ve got a date? With who?”

“Does it matter?” you ask asked.

“Evidently it does. I’ve been taking the brunt of his crap all week and you’re telling me it’s because you’re going on a date?”

“How was I supposed to know he’d react like this?” you quickly try to defend yourself.

“Are you blind?” Jeff asks.

“No, but he is. I’ve dropped hints. Lots of them. If he doesn’t want to acknowledge it then that’s on him.”

-

“Wow,” smiled Steve, looking you up and down. He took your hand, albeit rather dramatically, and began leading you to the car.

“Save it for the restaurant, you dingus. Does this look okay then?” you ask.

“The dress alone might kill him, never mind the heels and hair.”

Ten minutes later, Steve parked up outside Enzo's.

“When we get in there, sit with your back to the bar. You’re about to get the full Harrington charm, okay?” he asked.

“Got it.”

“Hi there, table for two under Harrington,” Steve told the hostess.

“Follow me.”

“Here we are,” the hostess said as she gestured to a small table. “Here are your menus, the waiter will be over to take your order shortly.”

“Thank you,” you replied, taking the seat that Steve had pulled out for you.

“So,” you began.

“So,” Steve replied with a grin.

“I’m not going to lie, Steve, I feel really awkward.”

“I can tell,” he responded. “Relax. We’re just two friends, dressed up, and having a nice meal. Loosen up a little and have fun, or this isn’t going to work.”

You tried to relax, really, you did. But you couldn’t help shake the feeling that Eddie was burning holes into the back of your head with his staring.

“Welcome to Enzo's, my name is Ruben and I’ll be your server this evening. Any drinks to start?”

“Sparkling water for me, and…” Steve prompted.

“Lemonade, please.”

“Awesome, I’ll get that put in at the bar for you. Any starters today?”

“Do you-” Steve began, turning his attention back to you.

“More of a dessert person,” you answer.

“Me too,” smiled Ruben. “What mains would you like?”

“Lasagne for me, please,” answered Steve.

“Chicken Alfredo, please.”

“Awesome. I’ll get all that put in for you, enjoy your evening.”

“Thank you, ‘preciate that,” Steve told him before he left the table.

After a couple of minutes of the usual “how was work?” and “how was school?” small talk, Steve’s gaze quickly shot behind you as he sat up a little bit straighter.

“Here’s your lemonade,” Eddie announced, placing the glass down in front of you.

“Thanks, Eddie. How’s your shift?” you asked with a smile.

“So-so. Started going downhill about twenty minutes ago,” he answered.

“Nothing worse than a shitty Friday shift,” Steve chimed in.

“Evening rush,” Eddie responded, unwilling to meet Steve’s gaze. “Everything okay over here?”

“Great, thank you,” you respond.

“Harrington,” Eddie muttered, placing Steve’s water in front of him with a little bit more force than he did the lemonade, before heading back to the bar.

“He won’t even look at me, this is working even better than I thought,” Steve chuckled.

-

One hour and one chicken alfredo later, Ruben returned.

“Well you two are looking cosy over here,” he told you. Steve had been giving you cues on how to sit and when to laugh all evening. “How about that dessert? I highly recommend the ‘brownie and ice cream for two.’ Chef special tonight.”

“Sounds perfect,” answered Steve.

“Alrighty, that’ll be about ten to fifteen minutes. Any more drinks?”

“The same again, please,” you answer.

A couple of minutes later, Steve gave another instruction.

“Rest your left arm on the table.”

“What?”

“Now.”

Steve let out a sudden laugh and adjusted himself in his seat. He placed his arm on the table, his fingertips slightly brushing against your own.

A loud crashing noise from behind you had heads rolling to see what was going on. Every pair of eyes in the restaurant landed on Eddie.

“Sorry folks,” he announced. Eddie quickly began picking up the larger shards of glass whilst another bartender brought over cloths and a broom.

“Hook, line, and sinker,” Steve whispered, loud enough for only you to hear.

-

You really were getting the full Harrington charm, as promised. Steve had been feeding you brownie on and off for ten minutes, his glancing over to Eddie quickly now and again.

“It’s almost time,” Steve whispered.

“Time for what?”

“The grand finale.”

Steve leaned in slightly and wiped the side of your mouth gently with his thumb. “Ice cream,” he smirked.

“Is that really necessary?”

“One hundred percent. On my cue, you’re going to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom,” he began.

“But-”

“If this whole fake date has gone to plan, which by the way has been lovely, then I do believe Munson won’t let you make it that far. Go now.”

As instructed, you excused yourself from the table and made your way towards the bathroom. Just as you got to the door you felt a hand close softly around your wrist.

“Hey, can we talk?” Eddie asked.

“Everything okay?”

“No, actually, it’s not,” he answered. Eddie glanced around before pulling you through a door labelled ‘staff only’.

“Eddie, wha-”

“You can’t date Steve.”

“I can date whoever I like Eddie,” you respond.

“Why him?” he asked, his hand still wrapped lightly around your wrist.

“Why not?”

“Because,” he began, pausing in thought. “Because he’s… he’s got a reputation. Surely you’ve heard all the rumours?”

“And we both know him well enough to know he’s not that person anymore,” you answer, your gaze locking with Eddie’s who, surprisingly, held it.

“You just can’t, please,” he pleaded.

“Give me a good enough reason as to why I shouldn’t go back out there and I won’t.”

Eddie stayed silent for a few moments, his big, brown eyes locked on yours. The small staff room became stuffy all of a sudden, the air so thick it felt like you could barely breathe. You held your ground, waiting for him to speak, but he didn’t. You stared back at Eddie, your eyes pleading with him to just say something. Anything.

You broke your gaze from Eddie’s and turned towards the door, ready to give up and go home. Eddie’s grip on your wrist tightened and he pulled you back towards him, using his free hand to cup your face as his lips met yours.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been there, Eddie kissing you, but it felt like forever. The tension in the air vanished, leaving you with a cozy feeling deep in your stomach, where the butterflies used to live. 

“You can do better than him. You deserve better than him. You deserve someone who knows that you take extra sugar in your coffee when you’re studying. Someone who knows that you’re a completely evil genius in the best way possible when it comes to D&D. Someone who knows you’d rather be in bed with a book at-” he glanced at his watch, “nine o’clock at night. Someone who apparently isn’t very good at making the first move.”

“You’re clueless, you know that?”

“I am?”

“Yeah,” you replied, leaning in to kiss him again.

If it wasn’t for Ruben who knows how long you would have stood there, entwined together, lost in the moment.

“Hey man, you heading home?” Eddie asked casually, placing a little distance between the two of you.

“I was, but turns out I’m staying late. Guy with the hair on table twelve tipped me a hundred bucks to finish your bar shift and fetch a fresh brownie out. Said you ‘owe him one’ and you can ‘square it up later’. Brownie will be out in five. Enjoy.”

[goodyeartheshippycat]

Wahhhh! They're so sweet! I love how you found a pastoral background for them and everything.

Alec and Marcus (and Tibby) Playmobil fanart for @goodyeartheshippycat 's Starfighter fanfiction

[honeyhotteoks]

hi friends!! quick little question and a series of announcements! 📣

first, i have a ton of amazing asks in my inbox right now that require longer/more thought out responses, and to all those people who submitted, i'm def working on replies dw. however............ tumblr keeps giving me an error when i try to reply and it's longer? i keep getting a 'we're sorry your post cannot be processed' thing.... does anyone know what's going on with this / how to get around it? nothing i try has worked.

second, i wanted to provide a little update on some of my multi-chaptered works! i'm heading into a really busy month with work and i have a couple more exams to pass, so i may be a little quiet until the end of the year / slow to respond, but the queue is up and i'll pop in from time to time.

across stardust - chapter two is about halfway done, once i get a little time i'll wrap this and post. hopefully by year end, but if not very early in january. this night together - this one is in progress, but moving a little slowly. there's only 2-3 chapters left, so i think i'm just having a little trouble getting it over the hill. as soon as this is ready to get going though, i'll communicate that. my goal is to finish this by early next year so i can shift back to some other works. into the aurora (book one edits) - i'm about halfway through the editing process on this. the poll was pretty heavily skewed towards posting this as a new work rather than overwriting old chapters, so i'm going to start posting this chapter by chapter next year as new edition. into the aurora (book two) - ideally once the edits of book one are posted, i will be in the middle of writing book two and can start posting that. but truly, across stardust and tnt take prio on finishing since they are both almost done/smaller series. oneshots - i have several cooking, but serious tbd on timing. the ones closest to being done are: -alpha!scoups x omega!reader -sex pollen rafayel x reader lnds fic -epilogue oneshots to tnt -just between friends sequel

[magpiefngrl]

halfway through 2024 book review

June isn't over yet but I'm looking at a couple of very busy weeks so it's unlikely I'll read a gazillion new books or something by end of month. So we do this now!

books I enjoyed so far

Aliette de Bodard's Dominion of the Fallen series, set in a post-apocalyptic Paris with fallen angels and magic and dragons in the Seine. I didn't quite love the three main novels, but I enjoyed how unique the world-building was. However, I REALLY loved the last two novellas about Asmodeus and his husband Thuan, who are a delicious pairing. The novellas are: Of Charms, Ghosts and Grievances and Of Dragons, Feasts and Murders.

Pacat's Dark Heir, which I enjoyed so much that I went back to reread Dark Rise and then again, Dark Heir. I liked the second novel a lot more than the first (and I actually ended up appreciating the first novel more on my reread). Needless to say, I am very, very impatient about the end of the series.

A Nobleman's Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel. KJC has done it again. The sequel to her Doomsday Books series is fantastic, with a vivid cast, an excellent main pairing, and superb pacing. Couldn't put it down. A great historical m/m romance.

The Warrior's Apprentice by Lois McMaster Bujold. I'd heard a lot about Miles and it was fun seeing him bullshit his way across the galaxy.

The Mountains of Mourning by Lois McMaster Bujold. A novella in the Vorkosigan saga. Very touching and emotional and a great character study of Miles. Really loved this.

Newcomer by Keigo Higashino. This dude is seriously amazing at crafting unusual murder mysteries. This one is structured as vignettes of shop-owners in a Tokyo neighbourhood and, as the stories progress, more light is shed on the mystery of a strangled woman.

Faithful Place and The Secret Place by Tana French. Fantastic prose, absorbing murder mysteries that are more like deep character studies as well as an incisive portrait of contemporary Ireland.

The Lady of the Lake by Andrzej Sapkowski. This is pretty grim at times, ngl, but it has a daring structure with lots of POVs, switching between numerous timelines, a frame device, lots of found materials (essays and chapters from fictional books). All that worked for me very well. I love some experimentation with craft. I wouldn't say it was my fave read, but I'm happy that I finally reached the end; completing a series always gives me a dopamine rush so yay

progress on my reading goals

A reminder that my two goals for the year are:

to read (some or all of) the Vorkosigan saga

to read less or no US authors

I'm doing pretty well on those two scores. Read a few installments of the Vorkosigan saga, and (besides Bujold and a poetry anthology by Maggie Smith) have read no other US-based authors. My intention was to diversify my reading and, indeed, so far, I've read French, Japanese, Polish, UK, Australian, Irish, and currently reading a Ukrainian author.

fics I loved

I've not read as many books as I normally do so far, esp in the last couple of months, but I read a lot more fic than recent years. I've read some fab stuff in a variety of fandoms. The fics I'm going to rec below are the longer ones that I read on my ereader:

Tarnished Gold by Prim_the_Amazing (bingqiu/svsss, M, 118k) Inventive premise. Couldn't put it down.

Memory (T, 23k) and Out of the Dead Land (M, 62k), both stucky, both orphaned by one of my top authors ever. The second one gave me the worst fic hangover I had in ages. I had to go and rewatch Captain America.

contrapasso by damagecontrol (jegulus, E, 41k) Very horny. I like that.

Fire Burn and Caldron Bubble by pastapug (jegulus, E, 40k) Lush language, fascinating setting.

Beholden by Faith Wood (faithwood) (drarry, E, 123k) Gave me all the drarry feels.

Shout out to @hoko-onchi-writes's WIP: To Hold You in the Earth's Unholy Din, which I am loving <3

That's all, folks. Here's hoping for more wonderful reads till December!

[sergeantjessi]

The more I do the actual research, the more I wish I would've just lived in blissful ignorance

Me: Hmmm, I'll just start writing this scene without having done the research yet, I'm sure the few bits I remember will be enough to get the basic things done with only minimal editing needed once I actually start researching

The Narrator behind my back: :)

[light-yaers]

Take Care: Chapter Fourteen TEASER

here's a lil snippet so you guys know i'm writing. this chapter is gonna be a long one. look out!

You and Jamie headed back to the locker room soon after. As he made his way towards the guys, you stuck to the outer limits of the cinder block walls. Roy was still in the manager's office, his back turned as he spoke to Ted and Beard. You didn’t want to intrude, so you made the decision to cut back into the corridor once more; not to leave, but to wait until the guys were ready for a pint.  You slowly trudged down the familiar corridor that you used to traverse every fucking day. Past the locker room, you approached the gym. Beyond that, your old office still sat. Keeley had recently upgraded to a larger room deeper underneath the Dogtrack, however, so the usual array of pink pillows and her cheetah statue were nowhere to be seen.  You entered through the half open door and walked straight into darkness. The walls were the same, just pinker. The desk was the same, just empty. Whenever you visited this office space after time away you felt the same pull to return. You didn’t care if it had no windows; you’d managed to make it home for nearly a year without any hiccups.  God, you wanted to be back here. Everyone knew it, even Rebecca, but you daren’t take favours. You would never.  A small knock sounded from the door, and you turned back quickly. “Ready to g–? Oh!” you exclaimed. You’d been expecting Sam or Roy, but were met with the still slightly unfamiliar face of Nate. “Sorry, Nate. I thought you were someone else.” “That’s alright,” he said, smiling. “May I come in?”  “Oh,” you spluttered. “Yes, of course. This isn’t my office anymore.” He stepped inside. “No, no, it’s not, is it?” he said, and the tone of his voice was erring on patronising. You opted to ignore it, knowing that he wouldn’t have meant it that way. Surely? The silent pause that flittered between you was very awkward, there was no denying it. It wasn’t that you’d meant to not really know him, but your circle at the club had seemed to travel in one certain direction that you hadn’t been able to control. The guys, Ted, Roy, Rebecca. Not Beard, not Nate. You didn’t mean anything by it innately.  If anything, you were happy that Nate was making himself known to you. You’d love to get to know him more– or more than what you barely knew of him from your time at the club.  “What a great game today, wasn’t it?” you started.  “Oh yes, fantastic game,” said Nate.  “And that thing–” You mimed what had happened on the pitch earlier, which happened to be a middle finger of all things. “That all four of you did to Jamie. Classic, really fucking brilliant.” “Oh yes, the good old middle finger.” Nate copied you in miming what he’d done less than an hour ago. All four coaches had signalled to Tartt what needed to be done, and that signal happened to be swearing at him full-frontally. Four middle fingers had stood up on end, and Tottenham didn’t know what had hit them when Tartt managed to make a goal from just beyond the halfway line.  “You were all absolutely brilliant!” you exclaimed. “I’ve been seeing you in the paper as well, you know? The whole Wonderkid thing.” Nate smiled forcefully. “I definitely said Wunderkind.” “Either way, it’s fantastic you’re getting that recognition.” “Thank you, thank you,” Nate said, taking your compliment graciously; or so you thought. “So, here’s the thing.” He plunged right into his words like he’d had them on standby the entire time.  “Go on,” you urged him happily. “You can’t come to Wembley.”  “What?” you asked, not fully absorbing his words.  Nate stopped smiling. He looked at you sternly, or like you were akin to dirt on his shoe, or whatever else. Your smile turned to a frown instantly.  “You can’t come to Wembley,” Nate repeated. 

TAKE CARE: CHAPTER FOURTEEN COMING VERY SOOOOOON

[el1997jk]

Hi, El! Hope you're doing good 🦋✨️

Just passing by, uh—

I was asking myself the same question, and I found it an interesting thought exercise, so: in the next five years, which ten goals would you say you've got for your fanfic writing hobbie?

It doesn't need to be ten goals you'll actually run towards in the next five years, if you ain't got smth like that in mind, but if you Had To choose ten goals, which would they be?

Hi, well, firstly, thank you so much for asking. I'm doing well. 🦋😊⭐️ How about you? How are you doing? I hope you're doing well 💗

No worries, you can pass by and ask me questions any time. 😊

You are right it is a question that is very interesting, though exercise.

My answer to your question is:

Honestly, I think that for me, coming up with those ten goals for my hobby of fanfic writing was harder than the part about it happening in the next five years 😅

My ten goals (in no particular order except for the first one)

1. Finish my two ongoing fanfics. (Hopefully, I can achieve this by the end of this year)

2. Write at least half of the ideas that I have for fanfics into full stories. (I currently have 20+ ideas, and I know that number will get bigger as time goes by)

3. Finish writing a fanfic either fully or at least halfway before I post the first chapter.

4. Get better at writing scenes that are out of my comfort zone (18+ scenes, sad scenes, fighting scenes, etc.)

5. Write for at least thirty minutes to an hour every day (or longer depending on how much time I will have throughout the day)

6. Have people submit ideas that they would like me to write for them. (I would like to try it)

7. Write down any ideas that I might have for either ongoing fanfics or future ones so I don't forget them. (Either on a piece of paper, into my phone, or voice record it)

8. Have at least somewhat of an idea for a plot that will happen in the fanfic before I start working on it so I don't get stuck. (Or start rewriting the fic from the start when I'm already halfway through)

9. Keep track of what plot points I want to have in my fanfics and write them down into a list, so the story doesn't end up all messy.

10. Have a posting schedule from Monday to Sunday for my fanfics, so whoever reads them knows on what day the next chapter will be posted. But it also helps me to stay organised and not get overwhelmed while posting. (There won't be a fanfic for every day of the week all the time, obviously. It will depend on how many fanfics I'm posting at the time)

I don't know if those goals actually fit what you have asked me, but it was really interesting to think about and come up with them nonetheless.

Thank you for such a thought-provoking question. I don’t think that I would have thought about these goals otherwise.

🦋El🦋

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

does keefe come across as disingenuous to you? manipulative?

Not always. But there's definitely moments. This ask has been stewing in my inbox for a long while as I tried to piece together how I wanted to respond lol. now I know the Keefe girlies are instantly going to be triggered by the words 'manipulative' and 'disingenuous.' And here is where I remind you that literally every human being can be, and are often purposefully and accidentally both of those things. Doesn't mean they're evil, irredeemable pieces of crap, they're just words to describe the sometimes harmful actions of someone. Intentional or not. It's vocab baby! Think of them as neutral terms.

Also I feel like I lost the plot halfway through writing this, bc I AM EXHAUSTED but lol

I’m going to go in on the part about him being disingenuous more than manipulative, because I think the former has more merit. Specifically in regards to what he says about Sophie and his crush, vs what he does. I’m going to source from Nightfall onward, because I believe this is when his walk stopped matching his talk. (I had to bust out the Keefe wiki page for this lol)

Specifically, we’re following this quote and onward:  “From that point on, he only had one goal: To be whatever Sophie needed. Not the hero. Not the one taking charge of everything. Just a guy ready to listen and help and be there for her. A friend. Until she was ready for more.” - Nightfall, Keefe’s POV, short story. (takes place after Keefe’s ‘fight’ with Dimitar, through chapters 36-60) All right, this is a good sentiment. It had the sokeefe fangirls swooning, and for good reason. I don’t like Keefe, nor do I ship sokeefe, but this is quite plainly a ‘green flag’. Many people defend and cite this quote when they’re expressing that Keefe sees her as more than just a silly crush!! He’s letting her make the decision of who to like!!! But I do want to note Keefe’s comment of ‘Until she was ready for more.’ We know Keefe likes her, it’s normal for people to hold out hope for crushes and have fantasies of getting your way– but my issue is that there’s some level of weird assumption to the statement, like he’s going to end up being more than friends with Sophie no matter what. Which kinda throws the whole ‘I’m gonna be her bestie!’ thing out of the window a bit, because this still implies that his following actions have an undertone of still trying to sway her to be in love with him, and he’s not exactly what I’d call ‘friendly’ about it. Again, this comes off as disingenuous. Clearly he is not that okay with just being her friend, if his end goal is still ‘Until she’s ready for more.’ But I’m not gonna harp too hard on him for the rest of Nightfall, or the beginning of Flashback, because of course he’s still trying to win her affection and he’s still hoping she’ll choose him, he’s a kid with a crush. (And Nightfall and the beginning of Flashback don’t have established Fitzphie yet. But it’s going to get rough in Legacy, so be forewarned.) But I do think it is fair to note that through Nightfall and Flashback, all of his interactions with Sophie still have a romantic undertone through his actions and words, and it does not seem like he’s really trying to be ‘just her friend’. I’m not saying he was forcing anything upon her, or that Sophie was rejecting him (bc I don’t ship them and honestly never really saw her liking him, but I realize I am a bit of an outlier in this way so that’s not the point of this post.) – but his actions just don’t match the initial sentiment of the first quote, or at least the ‘friend’ part people defend. More so, it just seems like he’s waiting for that ‘until she’s ready for more’ moment to come. 

Keefe’s nightfall short story covers from pages 354-556, so I’m focusing on his interactions with Sophie from then on, going forward. The first interaction that has less than ‘She’s just my friend!!!” undertones is on pages 668-669. Up until this point in Nightfall, he is doing a pretty good job at not being overly romantic and flirty with Sophie. (aside from unnecessary touching and stuff, but Shannon has a weird habit of making all of her guy characters touch Sophie too much, so I’ll keep that criticism reserved for now. It’ll come up later.) But this next scene is where I feel that he creeps back into romantic pursuit territory. 

‘Sophie feels bad when she realizes that Keefe can get lost in others’ emotions, and hers are even worse. Keefe assures her that it's “worth it” and walks closer to her. She crashes into the wall, and he stands in front of her, blocking her from moving, knowing that Sophie's being ridiculous when she says that he should stay away from her, but Keefe claims that he likes to take on a challenge. When he leans in Sophie's stomach flutters as his breath tickles her skin. Keefe starts to say, "Speechless again? You know, there's—," but it is interrupted.’ - Sourced from the KOTLC wiki, so if you think this was written with a biased undertone, I didn’t write it lol. Okay, my first comment on it… who… does this to a friend? or someone they’re trying to ‘just be a friend’ to? Again, I’m not saying he’s in the wrong for continuing to flirt with her and stuff, (This scene always read to me as Sophie being mildly uncomfortable too, but that isn’t the point of this post so don’t @ me about it lol)  it’s just that it does not align with his ‘new goal’. She’s not taken, of course, and he still is hoping that she’ll start liking him etc… nothing wrong with this, except that it’s contradictory to the previous statement made in his short story. This is not ‘I’m waiting until she’s ready’ behavior, this is ‘if Grady didn’t walk in we probably would have kissed!’ behavior. Where’s the friendship sentiment now?? 

^this is the first thing that I find disingenuous, and the last thing from Nightfall.

Onto Flashback! Now I have compiled what I believe to be weirdly romantic things to do and say to someone you’re ‘just being a friend to’. All of these are from the kotlc wiki bc I am not in the mood to bust out all my books xd. 

‘Keefe tells her she looks perfect, making her blush’ - Flashback, pg 5 

Keefe tells her "Aw, the little shrieking sounds you're making are adorable." when Sophie plunges her hand into a bucket of ice water to learn body temperature regulation. (Pg. 248) 

Then there’s a bunch of instances of touching, hand holding, waist grabbing, gazing, blushing, soft smiling, flirting etc (which I am NOW going to point out, because while Fitz does the same things, he never vowed he was trying to be ‘just her friend’, so at least his intentions are straight forward.) 

My comment on all of this: people who are just friends (who are both straight and opposite genders) typically don’t tell each other they look perfect, they don’t call each other adorable, they are not constantly grabbing hands, brushing hair out of eyes, smoothing out worry lines in between eyebrows etc…  Keefe’s obviously done this the whole series, but the reason I’m not bringing all of that past stuff up is because all the books prior to the end of Nightfall, he didn’t vow to just be her friend. Of course, a lot of this chills out because then Fitzphie happens at the midpoint in Flashback. 

But boy is it back with vengeance in Legacy. 

‘Keefe says that Sophie has a cute crease in between her eyebrows and then points out that her feelings seem fluttery around him.’ (Pg. 70) 

Now here is where the REAL issues begin. Not only is he supposedly trying to be just her friend, he’s also trying to back off romantically (or he should be!) because Sophie is no longer single as of right now, and she’s dating his best friend. So calling someone you like cute in this scenario is first of all, insane, but also again, contradictory to what he’s supposedly ‘trying so hard!!!’ to not do. And yes, Sophie would obviously notice if he just stopped complimenting her 24/7, because he’s done it for so many books- but we all know that his comments and compliments are because he likes her!!! He is clearly not trying that hard to curb it atp. It comes from a romantic place, not a place of friendship. He doesn’t call Biana and Linh cute 24/7, which tells me for a fact that there is nothing ‘friendly’ about it when it comes to Sophie. 

Keefe comforts Sophie by saying that being unmatchable ‘won’t change anything, at least to people who matter.’ (Pg. 101 - 102)

I don’t have issues with his sentiment. Because he’s right, the right person wouldn’t care. I have issues with how he coaxed the secret of Sophie being unmatchable out of her using his empathy, and while yes, she needed someone to talk to… it probably shouldn’t have been the guy who’s overly obsessed with her love life because he likes her. Of course, Sophie doesn’t know this (eye roll) but KEEFE DOES. He knows. He knows this is probably the most unhealthy and worst place to insert himself considering the fact that he is just too close to the situation. But he does it anyway– bc at the end of the day, even though he claims he’s just trying to be a good friend, the ‘until she’s ready for more’ part is never going to really leave the back of his mind. I’m not saying he was trying to break Sophie and Fitz up (but we all know he wanted them to lol), but oh my Lord– he’s too emotionally invested. AND HE KNOWS THIS. So once again, it’s giving, ‘you said one thing, but you’re doing another’.  but I also don't fault him for trying to reassure Sophie, that was good friend behavior-- but he technically wasn't even supposed to know about the situation in the first place. He's obviously more invested in what Sophie chooses to do with her love life than say-- Biana or someone else.

Biana could say the same thing Keefe said, and I'd be like 'mhm, good friend!!!' but it's the fact that Keefe has feelings for Sophie that make me wince a bit. I'm not saying he's being a piece of crap or anything at all!!! Don't read it that way please-- I am just saying that his reasons for getting involved do have more... personal value to him.

‘When Ro is trying to convince them Bronte isn’t Sophie’s dad, Ro calls Sophie a “blond hottie,” and Keefe agrees.’ (Pg. 233 - 234)

Yep, because that’s totally platonic and an okay thing to agree to when a girl literally isn’t single and is dating your best friend, and you like her. 

‘Keefe calls Sophie, “awfully cute in a crown,” and even though Sophie knows he’s teasing her, she blushes from head to toe.’ (Pg. 238)

Again, the issue is that he knows he likes her, but that she’s taken. THESE COMMENTS NEED TO STOP. AND YET THEY PERSIST. 

There’s also so much physical contact. Oh my gosh. Like dude!!! Yeah you can hug friends platonically and hold their hands platonically… but not if YOU HAVE REAL GENUINE ROMANTIC FEELINGS THAT YOU”ARE SUPPOSEDLY TRYING TO RESIST !!! 

I can appreciate that Keefe was in an awkward position, and you can’t just shut off feelings, and that there were many times when he told Sophie ‘hey, maybe talk to Fitz about this!’ I don’t think he’s a wretched person (though I don’t like him.) but there’s quite a few things he says but doesn’t follow through with actions, especially in this scenario, and he bends too easily to his own obsession and feelings with and for Sophie. And you can argue that he secretly knew she really liked him the whole time- but that is not an excuse to not even try that hard to keep a distance from the situation. She was literally taken- by his best friend no less. And I know there were many times Sophie went to Keefe first to emotionally confide in, but I do believe there was a lot he should have shut down, considering the fact that he’s the one who is aware of everyone’s feelings in the scenario, meanwhile Sophie is oblivious to Keefe’s underlying intentions and motivations. She feels safe confiding in him emotionally of course, because as far as she is concerned, it is purely platonic, as it has been since the beginning (from her POV). But he knows it's not. Could one argue that he, in some ways, takes advantage of the fact that she's oblivious to his feelings for her? After all, confiding in a guy you know likes you, while you're dating someone else is kind of a big red flag-- which means that unfortunately, Sophie can't make an informed decision of where to truly draw boundaries with Keefe, because she's unaware of his romantic pursuit. (I'm not saying he's taking advantage on purpose, and I genuinely think a lot of it is so subconscious that it's hard to really say it's intentional.)

I just don't think Sophie would have turned to him in the same way if she knew he liked her, while dating Fitz.

They are teenagers. They're all dumb. I don't expect them to be perfect, and I get why Keefe hadn't confessed at this point-- but I feel like it's fair to say that objectively, it's a very messy situation due to his lack of honesty with Sophie. And the fact that Sophie didn't know Keefe really liked her in that way meant that, in her POV, Fitz's obvious paranoia and distrust feels like it comes from an unwarranted place-- meanwhile, both Keefe and Fitz know what is really going on under the surface. She's so left in the dark, and it's quite horrible to read.

And I feel that this is WHY the narrative lets a lot slide with Keefe, because Sophie doesn't know his full side of it. She has the 'oh it's all platonic!" reading of the situation, which makes Keefe come off as very innocent in her eyes. Sure there's moments when she suspects he might like her as more than a-- but they don't last long, and she convinces herself otherwise.

Do I believe Keefe cares about Sophie? Yes. Of course. Has he 100% been a good friend on multiple occasions? Yes. No doubt about it. Do I believe he would remain her friend even if he never ‘got her’ in the end? Also yes. But it’s just that little ‘until she was ready for more’ that drives me berserk. Because I feel that that is his true intention, that he’s really only trying to be her friend in hopes of finally winning her affection. Which– many crushes are like that. But yeah, that’s why I find it to be quite disingenuous. Especially because once she’s with Fitz, it still seems like he’s waiting for his wish of her being ready and to realize her undying feelings for him to come to fruition. So how genuine is his ‘friendship’ really, when a lot of it is motivated by romantic aspirations? 

Maybe I’m a prude. Maybe I don’t understand Keefe at all. Maybe none of this was ever his intention and it was all subconscious– but I truly believe he crossed some emotional boundaries that typically one does not cross when someone else is in a relationship. He tried to curb it sometimes, but at the end of the day, it just seems like he didn’t try THAT hard.

I believe that there are also more instances where Keefe is not honest about his motivations, or how he truly feels about something through the books, but this was getting so long, so let me know if ya'll want a part two lmaoooo

tags: @what-is-there-to-fear

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

2025 TBR 📚

thank you @evilovesyou for tagging me! loved your post, lots to discover there...

BOOKS THAT ARE CURRENTLY ON MY NIGHTSTAND

shuggie bain - douglas stuart

i'm about halfway through this novel that i've been dying to read for a while now. i read young mungo, stuart's second novel, last year and it was an instant favorite of mine. and now i am absolutely devouring this one. it's set in glasgow, following the life of shuggie as he grows up with a mother that struggles very heavily with alcoholism. the hard life, described with love, without looking away from all the ugly parts, is what captivates me.

ulysses - james joyce

it is a huge goal in life to finish ulysses. i started a while ago (like.. 1,5 years ago) and now i'm about 1/3rd of the way through. i really enjoy it, but i don't have the proper brain for it every night. i know i will finish it eventually, because when i do have the right brain, i enjoy it a lot

after the revolution - robert evans

this is on my phone, for when i'm on the go and didn't bring a physical book. it's written by one of my favorite podcast hosts ever, and so far it's an interesting look into his brain tbh. it's an imagination of what the us would look like in the future, maybe fifty years from now, after a huge revolution has taken place and the country is split into warring factions. relevant... perhaps. (you can download it here if you want bc he is just like that)

BOOKS THAT I WANT TO READ AGAIN

i think i want to read the song of achilles again at some point. but i don't know. i think at this point in my life i'm so excited about reading new books, that i don't want to reread things just yet! but i have a few books i read when i was a lot younger and would like to read again, which will genuinely feel like i'm reading them for the first time. like some of the vonnegut ones i read almost ten years ago, or brideshead revisited, which i read before i was as adept as i am now at properly sussing out all the queer signalling.

BOOKS THAT I HAVE HAD FOR AN EMBARRASSING AMOUNT OF TIME WITHOUT FINISHING/READING THEM

books that i have started for a long time but haven't finished: ulysses huehuehuehueue buuuuut also lanark by alasdair gray. i've read it almost all the way through three times now lol, once for school and then twice since. i am captivated by this author's writing, since one of his other novels (something leather) is one of my favs of all time, but this is a brick of a book, set in a new world with a lot of unfamiliar scenes described in complicated language so... yeah. not an easy read. but i am determined to, at some point, read it all the way to the end.

as for the books that i've owned for ages but haven't read: the beat hotel - barry miles. i had a huge beat generation phase as a teen and i am actually still set on reading up on all of them. i have books that i bought back then and just never read past the first chapters. no idea why. third one in this line-up is a swim in a pond in the rain, which is basically literary theory poured into a nice book. it analyses scenes from russian literature. i once read a good chunk of it and loved it!!! and then i stopped lol. i had a major reading slump after 2019 ngl, which i'm only just coming back from. (so far i'm back up to speed when it comes to fiction, but non-fiction still needs a push, clearly)

BOOKS THAT I ALREADY OWN THAT I AM EXCITED TO READ

here's three, even though there are a lot more. my bookcase is a mess. but this year stephen fry is coming to my city to do a reading about mythos, so i will probably be reading that one first. i own troy, which i will probably read right before or soon after mythos. been loving all the books that help me brush up on my greek mythology. demon copperhead has been on my list for a while, and now my mom randomly found it in a little exchange library at the station. i think it'll be similar in vibes to shuggie bain, which i'm excited about. then i recently bought never anyone but you in a small indie queer/feminist bookshop in utrecht, nl. it's about the life of claude cahun and suzanne malherbe, two real historical figures from ww2 era france, who lived a beautiful, vibrant, artistic, but hard queer life. i already read a graphic novel about claude last year, so i'm excited to read this novel, which i assume will focus more on their love story.

i also wanted to mention some tbrs that i don't own and will probably download somewhere, because this year i want to focus again some more on politics and brush up on my knowledge and history of anarchism etc. so here's some of my (urgent) tbrs:

tagging.......... anyone who likes to read!! perhaps @persephoneflouwers @moonbeamalice if you feel like it <333