#ACTUALLY NEW GOAL: FINISH THE FIC AND HAVE THE LAST CHAPTER POSTED ON THE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF ME POSTING IT

[thompsborn]

“He dreams of people who have died and wonders if they miss him, too.”

literally why has no one TRACKED ME DOWN and PHYSICALLY PUNCHED ME becuase of the emotional turmoil this fic causes. i’m in PAIN. i’m also VERY proud of the fact that i wrote this but also it HURTS

“Iron Man suits double as caskets and Queens is a synonym with gravestones bearing the names of his only family” and other shit i wrote into homeward bound and COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT to the point that rereading homeward bound from the start and coming across this line made me GASP in PAIN

[yoonia]

— Dia’s tumblr wrapped 2024 

I know it’s super late for me to share this, but just as many would say, it’s better late than never. Thank you so much for the lovely people who tagged me to do this: @beomcoups, @shadowkoo, @kingofbodyrolls ♡

2024 started off smoothly…until it didn’t. The final quarter of the year has always been a hard time for me and it wasn’t that much different this year. As you can probably notice that I’ve been mostly absent ever since the end of October and I deeply apologise for that. I also regret not planning things properly and for not keeping up with my goals this year but that only means that I'll be dragging my WIP list towards the next year.

Thank you so much for everyone who has been there for me this year, and those of you who have stuck by me despite my inconsistencies. I really appreciate your presence on my blog, whether it’s through your likes and kudos, your reblogs, your comments and replies on my contents, and the kind words you sent me through my ask box. You guys have made it worthwhile for me to be here even after all these years, and I don’t think I can thank you enough for that. Here’s to mark the end of our wild journey through 2024 and enter the new year of 2025. 

OVERALL FIC STATS 2024

Number of fics posted: 4 (four) one-shots, 2 (two) ongoing series, 3 (three) ficlets

Number of fics revamped: 2 (two) completed fics, 2 (two) ongoing series

Number of words written: 448,057 words (dang, no wonder I felt so burned out lol)

Number of fics in progress: 32 (oh, boy…) 

FIRST FIC OF 2024

❥ A Christmas Fix 01 & 02 —  posted Jan 31st & Feb 1st | 1,926 & 1,226 notes

My thoughts: This was…quite a journey. It’s been a while since I wrote a rom-com story and I was pleased to have been given the chance to write this idea through a collab. The final outcome wasn’t too disappointing either, since I enjoyed writing it and reading it afterwards. I’m glad everyone loved this story as well.

MOST POPULAR FIC OF 2024

❥ The Stand-In (Revamped version) — posted Aug 13th | 4,267 notes

My thoughts: Okay, yeah…I cheated a little. But to be fair, this fic did get a lot of notes this year before and after the revamping process. I loved this story so much that I felt like it deserved a major makeover and I’m glad I managed to do it this year.

LONGEST FIC OF 2024

❥ The Bedroom Hymns — series, ongoing, last updated Sept 9th | 50k++ words | I’m too lazy to open each chapter to count the notes I’m so sorry lol

My thoughts: I know…I know, I need to update this one again. I had to take a break from this series because this fic literally became my main focus this year that a lot of my WIPs kept getting pushed back just so I could finish more of this. I had to stop at some point to finally set free my WIPs. I have to admit that I also lost my motivation to write this due to the lack of notes and responses that I got with each update no matter how much time I spent working on it (tacky, I know…but it is what it is). I still love and enjoy writing this, so more chapters are coming. I can see this fic becoming my main focus again in 2025 until I’m done with it.

LAST FIC OF 2024

❥ The Forsaken II: Tears of the Sea — posted Oct 24th | 712 notes

My thoughts: Holy hell…this fic. Who would’ve thought that I’d be revisiting siren!Taehyung this year after…3 years?? Thank you, whoever it was that sent this during my birthday event. I never expected to write a full fic for this to continue the original story and to answer a lot of your questions, but I’m glad I did! 

Honorable mention: 

❥ Our Imperfections — posted Oct 30th | 92 notes

My thoughts: This was the last thing I actually released before I dipped into the void but I couldn’t count this as a fic as this was considered a ficlet or, in a more common term, a drabble.

PERSONAL FAVOURITE FIC OF 2024

❥ Blooming Wallflowers — posted Sept 25th | 927 notes

My thoughts: I had one of those rare moments where I found myself enjoying the writing process of a story so much that things simply kept flowing until it became a full story. This one went twice the size planned (and commissioned) but I have no regrets. At all.

Honorable mention: 

❥ Maps (revamped version) — series, completed, posted Sept 6th, 7th, & 11th | 1,4k++ notes (again, I’m too lazy to open each chapter lol)

My thoughts: I initially planned to release something else for DPR Ian’s birthday this year. But then I started revamping the graphics for his old fics instead and decided to revamp the whole series while I had the chance. This one has always been my fave work that I wrote for Christian, so diving back into this to do a makeover and give it a major upgrade felt absolutely fulfilling. 

2024 SPECIAL EVENT

❥ 𝖙𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖋𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖆𝖉𝖊: yoonia’s 2024 birthday bash

My thoughts: Once again, I can’t thank you guys enough for joining this small event of mine. I promise that I’ll have another event in 2025 so please stay tuned! (see you in March!) 

Fave reads of 2024

I have to admit that I haven’t been doing a lot of fic reading this year. But I’m happy that I got to dive back into reading some fanfics during my birthday event and found some lovely gems that I truly enjoyed

The Taste of Sin by @shadowkoo

Vignette: Duty by @cybrsan

The Athlete by @beomcoups

A Lover's Redemption by @writtenwhalien

Dandelion by @shina913

The Wood by @sailoryooons

Minted by @kithtaehyung

Mr. & Mrs. Yoon by @monamipencil

On The Ropes by @raplinesmoon

Top Ten Tracks of 2024

Loved — B.I

People — Agust D

Make You Mine — Black Violet

Gemini — Cheyenne 

Close To Me — Mamie, Eloy, Trippy Bass

HUH?! — Agust D feat. J-hope

Love — Lana Del Rey 

Reasons — COTIS 

Watch Me Burn — Michelle Morrone 

Die First — Nessa Barrett  

GOALS FOR 2025

Write more. Tackle more WIPs each month. 

Finally finish my old abandoned WIPs (About Time, Blood Moon Rising and the Shifters Series, Chance Encounter) 

Finish writing and officially release my original stories/novel as a web-series

Try to do better with planning and scheduling and keeping up with them

Finish revamping Carousel and release the novel version on Ream

Read more. Both published books and released fics

Focus more on my personal health, mental and physical 

Start job hunting again

I know I’m late for this, so I’m passing this over to the writers who are tagged on the list above (if you haven’t done this yet) and also tagging a few who come across my mind right now (only if you want to!): @ressjeon @lo1k-diamonds @pars-ley @minisugakoobies @inkedtae

And also tagging randomly anyone who feels inspired to create their own tumblr wrapped! 

[whatevertheweather]

Thank you all for the tags @run-for-chamo-miles @monbons @forabeatofadrum @rimeswithpurple @ileadacharmedlife @artsyunderstudy @noblecorgi @you-remind-me-of-the-babe! You're all making me very emotional about fandom, and my TBR has gotten out of control.

So. It's 2024 for a little bit more. I'm not sure what's going to happen as I write this post, but I know it's not going to be succinct, so we're just going to start below the cut and see what happens.

I'm waffling over where to start, but I've decided on what we're here for, which is the fic recap. I did actually make fic goals in 2024, and I did actually meet some of them, which I'm trying to focus on instead of the parts I didn't meet. Here's a nice lil screenshot to sum that up.

I did give Bait and Switch a checkmark after some hesitation, because it says ongoing, and I did keep it going. I just didn't finish. (The new goal is before CORB 2025 I guess.)

So I completed 2 fics. Continued 1. Posted 60,917 words, AO3 says, even though that's including the chapters of the WIPs I started last year, and by my clumsy calculations with that in mind, it's actually 32,990. Did not meet my goals, struggled to write most of the time, but when I was looking for these stats, I found AO3 doesn't even give me a 2023 tab (rip first chaps of Bait and Switch and Musical Chairs, I guess), so it's an improvement over last year.

It just doesn't feel like it, because so much of what I did is unposted. So those are the stats I'm gonna give.

Words that didn't get posted: 23.5k

Fics this close to done that I just couldn't get any farther on: 4

Fics started: 3

Fics lovingly revisited after being abandoned for a long while: 2

Number of projects I got really excited about writing: 3

Number of times I wrote AHAHAHA in brainstorming documents because I figured out what I need to do to fix the problems I was having: 5

How long it will take me to turn those ahas into action: I cannot possibly say

Number of times I should have reached out for brainstorming help: 50, probably

Number of times I actually reached out: 3, I think

It's these last two points I actually care about. Well, no, I care about all of it, but it's these last two I've been thinking about. I had writing goals for 2024, I'm going to have writing goals for 2025, but I also had a more nebulous goal to participate in fandom more, and that's the one I'm actually bothered about not meeting.

I have a bad habit of thinking the only way I can participate is by getting fic done. Sharing it. Posting snippets if it's not done. Like I can only rejoice in other people's WIPsday posts if I have my own, instead of just being inspired by other people's writing and art. Or I can only share excitement or progress if I'm sure it's going to go somewhere, instead of just posting what I have and letting the community of it all be its own excitement. Or I can only comment if I have the headspace to put together a stunning review that perfectly encapsulates what I liked about a fic/art/anything, instead of just saying what I can or messaging someone to tell them I loved the thing they made, as if I don't know how wonderful it feels when that happens.

I'm getting sappy and maudlin on main, but I appreciate this fandom so much, even when I revert to lurking, and I want so much to get back to participating and talking to people and sharing in all the amazing wonderful things this fandom does. Y'all are some of the most talented and creative and kind people and I adore you all. So that's my main (fandom-related) goal for 2025, and any fic completed will just be bonus points.

But! Since we're here for fic at the end of the year, I will round out this rambling post by saying there are at least 3 ideas I'm hopeful I'll be able to maintain my current level of enthusiasm for, and beyond that there are about 5 that are a few sentences away from done, so there's hope for seeing at least some fic from me in the new year. Related, here's a peek at the first three documents on my drive.

Two of these fall in the "a few sentences away from done good lord why can't you just finish this" category. The other one falls in the category of things I'm actually very excited about, and hope to at least have a WIPsday post for it before too long. Because I'm thinking keeping things secret for fear of never finishing them is actually kind of silly, and I don't need to keep trying to create things in a vacuum.

Finally, a mess of tags that is me waving hello with both hands: @fatalfangirl @moodandmist @martsonmars @facewithoutheart @whogaveyoupermission

@mostlymaudlin @sillyunicorn @aristocratic-otter @bookish-bogwitch @alexalexinii

@ivelovedhimthroughworse @iamamythologicalcreature @ionlydrinkhotwater @thewholelemon @bluedahlia912

@youarenevertooold @cutestkilla @raenestee @confused-bi-queer @basiltonbutliketheherb

[floralcyanide]

⊱ 𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑦 𝐺𝑜𝑙𝑑 ― 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑢𝑠 𝑆𝑛𝑜𝑤 ⊰

[ ᴀ ʜᴜɴɢᴇʀ ɢᴀᴍᴇs ᴀʟᴛᴇʀɴᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀsᴇ ғᴀɴғɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ]

1960s ᴜs ᴘʀᴇsɪᴅᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ᴄᴀɴᴅɪᴅᴀᴛᴇ!ᴄᴏʀɪᴏʟᴀɴᴜs sɴᴏᴡ x ғᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑖𝑣𝑒 (ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠): 𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑟

౨ৎ 18+ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀs ᴏɴʟʏ !

⊹ summary: a run down of the events after new year's eve. ⊹ pairing: young!coriolanus snow / fem!reader ⊹ warnings: innuendo, the insinuation of smoking, mentions of alcohol ⊹ word count: 1139 ⊹ author’s note: sorry for the wait, but I decided to make the rest of the series headcanons instead of actual chapters. it is quite exhausting to write sometimes, and there's so much to this series that I'd rather do it this way. thanks for all of your support. this is my favorite series I've written so far. (:

౨ৎ divider credit: @cafekitsune

౨ৎ sᴇʀɪᴇs ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ | sᴇʀɪᴇs sᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ | sᴇʀɪᴇs ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

౨ৎ this fic has been cross posted to ao3.

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.

❝A man does what he must—in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures - and that is the basis of all human morality.❞ ― John F. Kennedy

✲ Coriolanus is leading in the polls so far for the 1964 election, but there’s a problem. He has yet to marry, and this is peculiar to many hesitant voters. Jack and Bobby both talk to him about this when they all gather in Coriolanus’ office to discuss their next steps.

✲ “I think the girl studying Jack would be a great contender,” Bobby suggests.

✲ Jack laughs incredulously at his brother, “I am not going to send off my student to marry a politician when she has so much ahead of her.”

✲ Coriolanus shuffles uncomfortably. The two of you have been secretly seeing each other here and there since that past New Year’s Eve, and it’s now the middle of April. The thought of just popping the question to you has crossed his mind, but he didn’t want to ruin the good things going for you. 

✲ Other problems more dangerous than marriage plague Coriolanus. The Women’s Revolution, the movement for Women’s rights, has reached new heights in their tension with the government. Coriolanus has been questioned about it by journalists and citizens alike. He firmly stands by his goal of women’s equal rights being passed into law.

✲ Jack offers Coriolanus the chance to come back to the Compound in the summer to finish up campaign strategies and kick back for a while. Little does Coriolanus know that Jack offered for you to return as well to finish up your dissertation. He wants to test Bobby’s theory of you and Coriolanus being together. Hopefully, you can finish up your project before Coriolanus makes a move.

✲ You arrive at the Compound, much to John Jr. and Caroline’s delight, as they run down the front stairs to you. You clamber out of the car, and the Secret Service removes your luggage. The kids cling to your legs as you laugh down at them. You glance up to see Coriolanus at the top of the stairs, and you do a double take.

✲ “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here?” you ask, a grin growing on your face. It had been about a month since you’d seen Coriolanus. “It was a last-minute decision,” he shrugs. 

✲ That first day, you, Jack, Coriolanus, and Jackie go out on the boat and have a few drinks. You all catch up, and Jackie gives you knowing looks the whole time. You and Coriolanus avoid the elephant in the room regarding you two.

✲ The evening creeps up, and you and Coriolanus sneak to the fire pit after dinner. “Have I told you about my vice president?” “No, not yet. What’s he like?” “His name is Sejanus Plinth, I think you two would get along very well.”

✲ After you and Coriolanus discuss Sejanus, he asks a question after a moment of silence. “Have you ever tried the shit that Jack smokes?” “Not really, but it smells peculiar,” you say, “Why?” “You seriously don’t know what it is?” Coriolanus chuckles. “Well, it can’t be tobacco, so,” you trail off, realizing what the substance is, “Oh. I see.” Coriolanus laughs at you again before pulling a joint out of his pocket, “Wanna smoke some?”

✲ Coriolanus sneaks into your room that night just to sleep in the same bed as you.

✲ You and Coriolanus become prone to sneaking and doing daring things. One night, after everyone has gone to bed, Coriolanus drags you to the garage, where the two of you take Jack’s convertible out for a spin. Without the Secret Service. Coriolanus drives down a back road alongside the coast, where your arms are thrown into the air as the wind gusts past your hair. Coriolanus looks over at you, knowing then and there he needs to marry you. There’s no one else, and there never would be. 

✲ Coriolanus takes you out on a beautiful date in Boston at the fanciest restaurant in the city, which was suggested by Jack and Jackie. 

✲ When you get to the bottom of your champagne glass, something hits your lips. You jump in surprise and slide it out of the glass when you pull it away from you. It’s a stunning diamond ring, the gem itself huge. The band is a simple white gold, and you look up at Coriolanus, who has now moved to kneel before you. 

✲ “I know this is quite sudden and out of nowhere, but there’s no one else like you. And I don’t think I can go on without you being mine forever,” Coriolanus has his hand on your knee, a hand out so he can place the ring on your finger, “Say yes, and I’ll give you everything you could possibly want.” “I think I have everything I could possibly want right in front of me, Coryo.” “So, you’ll marry me, darling?” “Yes, Coryo. I will definitely marry you!”

✲ The next day, it’s splattered all over the press that presidential candidate Coriolanus Snow is engaged to be married to little old you, the student under President John F. Kennedy. Bobby is beside himself, and Jackie hugs you, whispering in your ear how she knew you two would end up together.

✲ It’s now the middle of summer, and the wedding day is coming soon. You decided to get married on the beach outside the compound where you and Coriolanus met. The entire Kennedy family is invited, and your friends from university, as well as a few of Coriolanus’ friends, are invited. You finally meet Tigris, Coriolanus’ cousin who raised him, at the bridal shower. She tells stories upon stories about the blonde boy getting into trouble, which you enjoy thoroughly. 

✲ You and Coriolanus marry in late June of 1964 in a beautiful ceremony, where Jack walks you down the aisle. He says it’s the biggest honor he’s ever received. Not even his Purple Heart could compare. 

✲ Your honeymoon is spent in Boston in a luxury hotel near downtown. For the whole week, the two of you hardly leave the bedroom. 

✲ When the two of you are back from the honeymoon, Jackie proposes a day on the beach for the whole family. You both sit by the sea while the kids play and the guys play some football. Coriolanus isn’t a major fan of sports, so he stays with the kids.

✲ Both of you watch as Coriolanus plays with Caroline, John Jr., and Bobby Jr. in the shallows, splashing back at them when they throw water at him. “Have you thought about kids yet?” Jackie asks suddenly. You open your mouth but close it back, unsure of how to answer, “I- we haven’t really… discussed it yet, I guess.” Jackie hums, nodding, “It would look great for the campaign, besides, the sooner, the better. Voters love a great love story.”

[honeyhotteoks]

hi everyone ♡ a little about where i've been and why i'm not posting....

so... it's no secret that i fell off the face of the earth when it comes to writing, and for that i just want to apologize. i know a lot of you have been waiting for the next chapter of tnt, further aurora updates, or just looking forward to some smutty kinktober one-shots...... but to be completely honest i haven't written in a little while.

i've been trying to but i keep coming up short, and i've been avoiding this blog ever since because i just feel bad for not being able to give you guys the stories you're waiting for. for that reason, i essentially took a creative break and decided not to respond to any messages about writing. i know that kind of sucks, but i know myself and i didn't want to promise "soon" when i knew that wasn't true.

i'm starting slowly to work on things again, and i really hope i'll be able to share some of that work with you soon, but genuinely i just needed space from working on fic and to be honest..... from the fandom. i love being an atiny, but there was a swell of negativity on twitter for a while and i've been feeling a little uninspired with the past year of content and endless touring and it all combined into me putting things off.

i'm also................................ much more of a multi now.... which i really never thought would happen but here we are. i have no idea if i'll actually start writing for any of those groups, but if i do, i hope some of you also enjoy those groups and you stick with me. a little blurb about my new biases and the groups i'm now following, etc. is at the bottom of this post.

as far as what's going on with my ateez work? here's a quick recap:

this night together: still in progress, i have ~4 chapters finished, but chap ten and some of the time skips have me a little stuck. once i iron that out and finish out the last 2-3 chapters after the arc that's written, i'll get back to posting. at this point i'd like to have it done so i can release it confidently and as a complete story. into the aurora: i have about half of book one edited, which will include some new scenes / cleaned up scenes, but nothing crazy. i'd like to start updating old chapters once everything is finalized. book two is.... slow going. i'm hoping a breath of fresh air will help, but it's still my goal to come back to these characters. one-shots: i have about 4-5 ateez one-shots that are half written. my plan is to finish these and release them as inspiration strikes to wrap them up.

thank you all for your patience, and all of your kind messages. so many people have checked in on me both anon and not, and even if i haven't responded it's meant so much as i work on coming back to writing. i may not be able to respond to all the messages since so many of them are in my inbox, but slowly i may chip away at them

i'll see you all very soon~

(so chai multi era.... in a whirlwind of discovering other kpop groups..... i've ended up a carat, a stay, a moa, and a hidden kard. again, no idea if i'll ever write for any of these groups, but.... my biases are below so who knows)

seventeen - s.coups (regularly wrecked by hip hop line + dino) stray kids - lee know + hyunjin txt - soobin (are we surprised tho) kard - bm + jiwoo (but also like basically ot4 let's be real here)

♡

[sugarpasteltmnt]

Hi, I'm someone who's interested in making a long-fic but just been struggling to do so. Alot of it just cause I really I'm not confident in my ability to write it well or that people will read it. Even though Neon Void was your first fic (I think) you managed to not only reach so many, but tell a story so deep and personal and moving that every time I re-read a snippet I find myself wanting to read a whole chapter.....and then the entire series.

If I can be so bold to ask, how did you do it? How did you take Neon Void and make it? What kept you from giving into the voices within and without that tell you to give up? How did you make sure the story was the best it could be. If you could go back, what would you do differently? What strategies would be best for someone who also wants to do a longfic?

Sorry if it's alot.

First, thank you so so much. It makes me super happy to hear that you thought it was moving and enjoy reading it!!

and don’t be sorry!! I’m super flattered that you wanted to ask me such a cool and thought provoking question!! Gunna hide most of this answer under a read-more as I get a little autobiographical, but in short:

You must be your own biggest fan

I’ll be honest— I had NO idea so many people would read my fic. The amount of positive feedback has blown me away and I couldn’t be more thankful for how nice the TMNT fandom has been to me (and my sister!!)

And you’re right! Neon Void WAS my first fic I ever published!! But I’ve been writing every day since I was a tween. I just love to write. But even then, I was nervous to post. No one except my closest friend had EVER read my writing before. I wasn’t sure if anyone would read it, or even like it since it was kind of a wacky premise.

But also in a way, it was okay if no one else read it, because I liked it. And that’s kind of the secret sauce to it all.

I have never, ever written anything this long before. Originally, TNV was going to be like, ten chapters max. I have no idea it would evolve into a nearly 30 chapter fic. And i think there were several factors that contributed to that.

First, I was utterly and totally obsessed with my own AU. When i started daydreaming about certain scenes over and over, i knew i had to write it. Being so invested in my own story was the biggest factor in actually finishing it. Which sounds so obvious, but the thing is I have a tendency to think of new AUs constantly. (Sometimes even daily.) The fact I kept revisiting this one was a sign that if i wanted to write it, now was the time.

Second, and this is piggybacking off of that last confession of always daydreaming new AUs, i knew i was on a personal timer. If i was going to do this, I had to make sure I did it. So i gave myself a goal of trying to post on a rough schedule to keep myself accountable.

(But remember!!!! It's just fanfiction!!! you never, ever have to put that kind of expectation on yourself! You don't need a posting schedule. You don't even need to finish. I personally pushed myself so hard to see it through because for years I told myself that if i was ever going to post fanfiction, i HAD to finish. It's okay if you don't!! I would never ask a writer or an artist to slog through something that doesn't bring them joy anymore. Because at the end of the day, fanfiction is meant to be fun!!)

BUT

Here's a bit of a confession. I didn't want to give up on it because it brought me a lot of joy during a rough year. I found myself sneaking on my phone at work to write a paragraph or two whenever I had the chance. I would think about it 24/7. I was in love with the story I was making up and looking forward to writing helped get through some not so Cowabunga times. I know posting your work is super intimidating-- and you might be tempted to stop-- but remember, if it makes you happy-- even for a while-- it's worth it. TNV was making my days a bit brighter even before I started posting it.

Which leads to my next confession-- and this is probably the biggest reason I was able to actually pull it off with a posting schedule:

I had already written 50%-60% of TNV before I even posted chapter 1.

And that was on purpose for several reasons. One, I was having so much fun planning easter eggs and planning long-term foreshadowing bits. Second, it was a test to see if this AU was really rotting my brain enough that I wanted to spend a lot of time writing it. By the time I had a lot written and scenes I was super eager to get to, I knew I wanted to post it. But having a bulk of it already written was a huge reassurance in trying to maintain my posting schedule. (But again, that was just my style! You can hit the ground running if you'd like, start and then pause for a while to figure things out-- whatever works best for you!!)

But even when i was insanely obsessed with my own AU, it still took a lot of time and energy to write. There will be times you will find yourself trudging through bridging scenes to get to the scenes you actually wanna write and it's sooooooooo haaaaaaaaard. BUT!!! It's worth it!!! Getting through it and seeing how it sets up the exciting part just right is soooooooo satisfying.

As for making sure the story was the best it could be??? I'm not sure!! Because there were definitely times I went whining to my sister and best friend about certain plot points or scenes, worried it wasn't good enough. There were a LOT of times a scene or idea just didn't feel right. Heck, a lot of chapters ended up in a different order than when I originally started writing!! The lesson I learned throughout the whole thing is that the original idea doesn't have to be absolute. Sometimes rearranging the scenes is just what you need!

But when i was REALLY struggling, I'd find myself referring back to the original source. It was what inspired a fanfic after all! Sometimes taking a step back and reevaluating each character's personality helped me shape the scene into something that felt better. Other times I had to step back and remind myself about what was actually important to the story. (Example: originally, I had no idea how to get Donnie to the hidden city by himself. At first I tried to think of some lore on the mask to give Donnie a reason to go investigating Void... but it didn't feel right. The mask wasn't important. Not even Void was the most important thing to Donnie at the time. Leo was. And that helped me sort of get rid of the loosey-goosey idea of giving a complicated back story to the mask that made the story feel muddled.)

But even then, I wasn't sure if certain moves were the best they could be! I was always worried (and continue to be) that I poured too much into descriptions, or spent too much time talking about emotions with too little action. Or that I overuse phrases. But so long as each chapter made me happy, I figured readers would enjoy them too.

If I could go back and do something different... I wouldn't have goofed with Leo's kraang parasite adaptation in Mad Dog Part 2: Prom. I was trying to make his parasite enter an obvious 'stage 2 boss battle' look, but later I realized I didn't like how I described it lol.

But!!! I will confess, I'm no saint-- when i started getting lovely comments, it helped pour gas on the fire to keep going. And that's why I'm so thankful for every comment or doodle or ask sent my way. You guys are amazing and helped me get the fire under my ass to keep going, even when things were really hard.

I know it sounds so corny and like a cop-out answer, but ultimately, it's YOUR personal investment in YOUR story that is the secret sauce!!! So long as your interested in it, it won't feel so impossible to write a long fic. There will be challenges (like there is with any project) but honestly?? If you're head over heels for your own story, it will be fun and fulfilling. Even if you don't finish-- so long as it made you happy, that's what matters the most. (Again, that's so cheesy... but just like Master Leonardo tells Leo, 'cheesiness makes the best pizza pies in life'.)

Thank you again so much for this fun ask-- and I believe in you! You've got this. Have fun, enjoy writing, and have confidence in your work, because it makes YOU happy, and that's the greatest thing a story could be.

[luddlestons]

2024: Fic in Review

Borrowed from @ziskandra because it seemed like a very nice format to review in!

Total Number of Fics: 33 (the count on AO3 lies because I have two works posted this year that are art, not fics)

Total Wordcount: 201,240 (why am I like this)

Fandoms: 2 (Critical Role - 31/33, BG3 - 2/33)

Smut scenes: 32 - I am counting the orgy fic as all one long sex scene.

Most Popular Fic (by bookmarks): Buttoned Up and Undressed, which tracks, as it was a gift fic for the one and only zmeess, was written relatively near the beginning of the year and is for the largest ship I wrote about this year.

Most Popular Fic (by kudos): Same ^

New things I tried: Incorporating more of my art into the text of my fics and deliberately illustrating fics in general.

Fic I spent the most time on: As for which I spent the most time actually writing, I have no clue, bc I don't track that, but the one that took the longest to complete was Sleep, and Lack Thereof, which I started in February and finished in August. I spent a lot of time dithering because I was writing some new kink stuff, and because I continually got distracted by Ashton Greymoore.

Fic I spent the least time on: Twenty-Five Words or Less, which is entirely dialogue and under 1k besides.

Favourite thing I wrote: you're the universe i'm helpless in, which has so much fun prose and fanciful descriptions of plants! while being horny! and sad!

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected? oh WAY more. I spent SO much time being busy being gay, and I still wrote TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND WORDS??? insanity. What am I doing.

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion: I don't know if anything's UNDER appreciated, but if people want a deep cut rec from me, A Completely Normal Vacation is my favorite I've done that doesn't seem to have a lot of eyes on it compared to my other stuff. probably because it's about Kingsley!

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: uhhhh well Home for Winter's Crest literally has a paragraph about me falling for my boyfriend in there. It's not outright like "A/N: this is about my love life," but have fun guessing what it is, I suppose!

Biggest Disappointment: Just that I didn't have the motivation to finish Certain as the Moon Rises, but hey, there's always next year!

Biggest Surprise: The amount of folks who were all-in ready to go with my Ashton/Essek series! The ship literally didn't exist when I got there (there was ONE Ash/Essek/Caleb fic but I started off the Ash/Essek tag) and still has hardly anything in there but so many people told me they loved it. I'm constantly desperate for more of this ship too!

My Favourite Part Of Fandom This Year: I got to work on some pretty awesome collaborations this year, specifically working on Unlaced, Undone with zmeess and doing art for a few of the latest chapters of Mistakes Aren't Regrets, which I've been following since near the start!

Writing goals for next year: keep doing whatever the hell I want! I would also like to do more original fiction, but this is a fanfic review lol

Did you meet last years goal?: last year's goal was also 'do whatever the hell I want', so yes!

(Not doing any specific tags, but if you do this after seeing it from me, please tag me bc I'd love to read!)

[johnwgrey]

Two posts from me in one day might be an actual christmas miracle! (here's the first one icymi) but I've one (1) other snippet from my WIP I'd like to share and if not on snowbaz day, then when?

I said last time that I didn't want to say too much about this WIP just yet and that's mostly because I don't know if I'm going to finish it (I plan to but you know... Anything might happen) however, I can say that it's a victorian era AU and that this snippet might give a hint as to what it is to some people (very cryptic, I know. Sorry!) Perhaps next time, I'll be able to talk more about it but in the meantime, feel absolutely free to try and guess what it is if you feel like it!

This and the snippet I shared last time are both from the third chapter of my fic. I have started the fourth but I've been in poor health for the past month or so and haven't been able to write. Hopefully I'll resume writing in the new year as my goal is to start posting around the end of 2025 at the latest and I've only written about half of it so far.

Well, anyway. Hope you enjoy!

When Simon was a child, he used to lie in bed, eyes trained on the ceiling, praying that sleep wouldn't come for him. That his demons wouldn't reach from the darkest corners of his mind and pull him to them, kicking and screaming.  He would lay very still and hope that the Sandman from [his nurse's] tales would not notice him. But of course, he always did and Simon would wake in the small hours of the morning with not sand in his eyes, but tears, salty as seawater. That night however, tossing as he might, begging and threatening, sleep eluded him and Simon lay in bed, listening to the clocks of Pitch Manor chime the hours away with sweet Selene, round and beautiful in her court of stars, and the ghost of Mr Pitch's hand on him for sole company.

thanks for the tags these past weeks ❤️ @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @ileadacharmedlife @ic3que3n

[quirkyfries]

My concept of Dandy rebranding Gardenview to a new glory after the neglect of handlers, going back to their roots, and creating a toon with the use of research capsules.

[Mixed with your own theory of them, Dandy has a seemingly noble goal, they are just a bit evil and cause torment to the twisted and toons about it for their own satisfaction. The entitlement and audacity of a petal thinking they deserve to keep all the tapes of their history/training/making toons safety/learning videos/mlp/PSAs... you know the usual tapes you'd want to keep.] Now your theory was added, making Dandy seem more complex and interesting. Still mostly evil, BUT WHAT IF I MADE IT WORSE!!!

{A bit inspired by Sun and Moon Show <333}

... He was unable to figure out how to make an original toon, so tragic fan-child it is! Midnight Tragedy's Child (Astro x Dazzle) are they actually dating, or not. Who knows! They might not be, and that just makes it more funner(not in shipping, in the psychological torment sense <3 )

Dandy would totally family vlog, and Truman show the entire facility!!! They will compete at one point for the kid to do what challenges, and its Dandy vlogs vs Glistens lol.

I am planning on hopefully finishing chapter 1 today <3 wish I had written dopamine. I need it for my adding brain :D

Fun fact, the ideal design for the fan-child to have two-star shape'd eyes on the right of their face, was because the hands that Tron Astro uses are in his head, under his hat probably but in his brain basically.

So at will fan-child can move their eyes around to see into people's dreams or memories or to see if they are lying, who knows, dazzle hates it when Razzles acts.

what are your thoughts on it, I can't wait to figure out Glistens relationships with rnd, vee, and Astro specifically hehe. There are rnd headcanons that they look up to glisten, and glisten get along with vee. (karaoke, or has funner lines in trivia for the viewer to keep watching than winning all the prizes)

I love canon compliments, but I adore alterations if headcanons are not canon compliments. <3

oh yeah, and some doodles I did on a whiteboard. here are some of the concept chapters:

I'm too shy to show the last doodle with Astro and Rnd meeting up with Dandy, to figure out what their 'vacation' truly meant when they see the new toon on the bench(theirs another doodle of that on paper) I'm having so much fun with writing this, and I'm almost wondering how Dandy might become a manager. Can they ever get IDs?

:P

... Since they got research from the twisted themselves... whose child is it really [Family drama]

Hope you like my chaotic concept, i have no ideas for the other characters, but I just gave Poppy an HC that they are not allowed to drink pop because of a commercial aftermath incident :D

Astro giving others nightmares by accident will always be funny <3

Have a wonderful day! I didn't have this beta read, so my words may not make sense hehe

OOOO Thank you so much for sharing this with me!!

Between Dandy mixing Astro + RND’s (research? ichor? Toon dna) to make a toon from scratch, said child’s ability and the surrounding drama in the form of family vlog and Truman show’d facility, I’d say you’re in for a pretty solid story!

I’m really curious about Glisten’s relationships with other toons, I haven’t been able to look at the new update yet lol. I know that fella has all the deets.

Midnight tragedy is super cute, I love their design! I wonder, since it’s ambiguous who their parents actually are, if they’d chosen a parent figure? Unless Dandy filled that role by default, or maybe it was a “it takes a village to raise a child” situation? Or did they spawn fully grown and only needed some guidance to mature emotionally.. don’t let my questions point to spoilers for your fic, I’m just wondering aloud!

10/10 concepts and art, I will be watching for that fic when it’s posted! You have a nice day too :D!

[macawritesupdates]

Fic Writing Updates 11/10

Been super duper busy of late as I have a second job in the evening cutting into writing time and also having to get some art done for zines. Just been a balancing act ; w ;

However! Working on fics to get them updated so don't worry, the updates are coming I swear! <3

The goal this month is to get a lot of these long fics wrapped up so I have less stories to update on my plate which should equal faster updates!

JUJUTSU KAISEN LONGFIC UPDATES

The Yuuji Files: About 9k words into this chapter and just about to reach the halfway point so...it is a very large chapter, but feels short writing it honestly given how the action is flowing! Hopefully readers will enjoy!

Broken in the Ways No One Sees: Last chapter should come out today! That's the plan at least! I want to get this chapter out so the story can be brought to its conclusion <3 Spouse Wanted: Hoping to write and post an update today for this one if I can. Chapter is almost done, just have to write the final scene

Can't Help a Cuddle: Sorting out the notes and starting to work on it! A lot of suggestions to organize and work into a chapter so it has been slow going, but hopefully will satisfy readers <3 Lessons in Accidental Seduction: New chapter is in the works, slowly but surely!

Malevolence of Love: Taking a small break to sort out notes for the next chapter as the angst is heading for a conclusion now...

Who's A Good Boy: Once Broken is done, going to speed run the chapters of this story to get it completed. Think it is an easier one to clear out then some of these!

Careful What you Joke About: Working on next chapter slowly but surely, just making sure it flows how I like, but still on the docket for an update soon When You Have Two Grandsons: This is a comfort fic so it gets updated when I get inspired and needing something to write/relax from other fics. No new chapter just yet....

Mirrored Lives: Plan is to get this one finished out in terms of the rewrite to the outline and then push it out to get it concluded so it stops hanging over me :C

MY HERO ACADAMIA FIC UPDATES

Jealousy is Not a Good Friend: My other comfort fic. Especially as the readers are calling for us to be mean to Kirishima and break his feelings into tiny pieces...and you KNOW I'm here for angst.

Unsung Heroes: Working on it when I can, just really want to update it > . < but also want to take my time with it >.<

ONE -SHOTS

KiriOchaToga Oneshot: Because I want to write it and you can't stop me.

Once Upon a Blob: Because I want some Blobkuna....

FICS TO COME

Changing this fics that I'm actively working on writing as...too many ideas rattling around that I want to write >.< So these are fics that are on the docket to come and going to actually write. COLLAB FIC: Still working on this fic and excited to eventually share it with readers <3

Culturally Inappropriate: The first chapter is being prepared and I'm going to launch it once I finish some of the other long fics so can devote a lot more time to it! I want to do some art for it...but will make a poll of readers want to see that!

[op-sys-chaos]

Fic Tag Game!

@'ed by my fabulous mutual, @brucewaynehater101

Rules:

Make a list of five (or so) of your WIPs for your followers to choose from

Post a snippet from one of your fics that you've worked on in the past week

Your followers get to send an ask with one of your WIPs!

You must then write a paragraph or so in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write a paragraph on it anyway and then another that you can share from something else

I do recommend adjusting the writing requirement depending on the size of your following. The point is to make some progress, so if you're not expecting a lot of asks, maybe make your goal bigger, and the inverse is true for large followings. Do you.

That's it! You can invite others to join in or just post.

No pressure tagging @batfambrainrotbeloved and @corkinavoid. If you see this and want to join, feel free to!

(for me, since I don't have a large following, I'm going to do this as chapters! If I get an ask, I'll write a chapter)

Fics and Snippets:

1. The Pit Made Me Do It (And I'm So Sorry): If Jason wanted his mind back, if he wanted to feel any positive emotion ever again, he had to kill his new adoptive brother [Tim Drake].

2. In Another Life: As he made contact with the [reincarnation amulet], Danny [Fenton] closed his eyes, and baby Dick Grayson opened his eyes in a hospital moments later.

3. Twins, or What It Takes to be Resurrected: Danny hadn’t seen his twin [Damian] since he was 7. He didn’t expect to see him again as a ghost.

4: A Message from the Dead: Looking for a Ghost: “Bruce received a video from someone named Danny two days ago. Someone with black hair and blue eyes. Someone who was the long lost twin of his other son, Damian. The video was apparently set to auto-send after three days. But we’ve actually been looking for Danny for a month now, ever since his bio-mom told us about his existence. Bruce is his bio-dad.”

5. Fragmented Universe: the Hope of a Wraith: As he finished the last word, the candles flared, and one bright flash of light later, Tim looked up and saw the grin of a clown, a crowbar swinging, and then stars as said crowbar collided with his head.

Just survive this, Tim, he thought to himself. You did the important part. You got Jason out of here. Now survive this without letting on that it’s you and not him. You can cry out in pain later.

And survive he did. After what felt like an eternity, the Joker set his bomb and left.

I have other fics as well, so you can also name one of those and I'll probably write for it, but these are the ones I'm guaranteeing I'll write more of!

[machiroads]

Fic Year in Review 2024!

Not the most productive year writing-wise, but here's a snapshot of what did go out the door!

NEW FIC

waiting on the seasons to change, waiting for the curtain to fall

The fic I wrote when I actually should have been writing my zine fic. Probably for the best that it's not in the zine because it ended up being pretty dark!

Sometimes you get possessed by an idea and write 12k of the most batshit worldbuilding

I love urban fantasy, the FFXII AU also somewhat counts as urban fantasy and I really want to get back onto that one at some point

Consistent with the theme of the fic, I inadvertently prophesized Taisho-era Aizawa in official art, and while I did not imagine him having a hat he still looks bangin

When the Battle's Lost and Won

Part 3 of Lullabies for Insomniacs (aka the Nine Lives Extended Universe)

I genuinely did not expect Kuroboro to die in the finale so I had to rewrite LITERALLY EVERYTHING I had drafted

It was originally going to be a 4-parter with rotating perspective (Aizawa > Mic > Shirakumo > Aizawa) (Moon > Sun > Cloud > Stars) but on the rewrite it just made sense to go back to Aizawa's perspective only.

Still trucking through this into 2025, I had hoped to get this one out faster but Life Happens. I made a big post about it. We'll see if work gets any less stupid into the new year (not optimistic but eh)

Overcooked

Gets an honourable mention because I did finish it, it's just not publicly available yet

This is my erasermic zine fic, and I sure as shit hope you all get to see it in 2025 but production is. slow. No comment.

The boys go to a cooking class for kids. It's cute.

MORE ART

I am still flabbergasted that people make art of my fics, and I have been blessed with two new beautiful pieces this year:

From the wonderful @obsessed-dragon, the boys taking a snooze at the end of the Fortuneteller AU

BlackSpiderEyes also spruced up their art from the MerPirates AU

I KNOW YOU LIKE STATS

This chart is still in comic sans because I think it's funny

I wrote a blurb about this in last year's post, but TL;DR the bookmark-to-kudos ratio is my metric of how many people loved a fic vs how many people just liked it.

9L is still lapping the rest of the pack, and also was still pretty well-read this year! That's a long-ass line between the 2023 and 2024 kudos datapoints. Was it S7? Was it the manga finale? Some secret third thing? I shant speculate but I do have to hand it to myself: it is still, 2 years later, The big damn Eraserhead recovery fic.

Nutstang's bookmarks:kudos ratio decreased this year, but it's still firmly in "cult classic" territory, with the 3rd highest ratio of all my fic

Legitimately surprised to see the Fortuneteller AU's ratio so high (0.39), which is noticeably higher than 9L's ratio even (0.32). It's middling as far as kudos goes (it is an Extremely Specific AU after all), but for those that did like it enough to leave a kudos, almost 40% loved it enough to bookmark.

WTBL&W is trending middle of the pack right now, though it's still very much in progress. When 9L finished, it got a pretty noticeable bump because sometimes people don't like reading WIPs! It's also billed explicitly as a sequel, so that might also be deterring some folks, but I cannot possibly divorce the two. IT IS WHAT IT IS.

STILL COOKING

I WILL FINISH LULLABIES FOR INSOMNIACS IN 2025 she says. There are maybe 2 chapters left of L&W (though they will be Large Boys), and then Kintsugi which is kind of partially written? It seems like an achievable goal, though when I started posting L&W over the summer, finishing that before the end of 2024 seemed achievable and we are still trucking our way through chapter 4 of 5ish, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I am forking The Way of the House Hero off into its own miniseries because it's techincally? canon divergent now so who tf knows about that one

The Pilot/ATC AU and the FFXII AU are still on the backburner but they still hold a special place in my heart

ANYWAYS

Thanks for reading my self-indulgent nonsense. I hope to continue creating more self-indulgent nonsense next year.

[thenotebookwizard]

I promised! (writing update)

No. No, I have not caught up on Tumblr yet. I want to, but - writing. And work. And writing. Lots of writing.

Which -

I promised an update on my writing, for those of you who pay attention to that sort of thing. Or have been asking me about it over the last few months of updates, since I stopped adding writing updates under the cut with each Defiance update. I stopped, because I thought I was annoying people, but since that appears not to be true...

A big update. Because I am not good at writing small or short things. (You may have noticed.)

Most of this under the cut so I don't clutter dashboards.

First off, news I thought I would never get to write: I finally hit a long time writing goal and have written a total more than one million words this year.

(Yes, I obsessively track my writing.)

I am very excited by this accomplishment. I've been working up to this level for years now.

So. Writing.

I will start with She-Ra since, that's most of what y'all read me for!

Red Crème Fizz

Installment five (currently otherwise untitled) is started, but moving at a glacial pace.

Hard to get into the fluffy mindset I need for that series at the moment. I'll get there. I always do. It's either going to be shorter than the last two installments or a two chapter fic. Not sure which yet.

Red Crème Fizz stories are like that for me. I plan, I start to write, and then things I didn't plan happen. It's the one series I'm a discovery writing with.

Kinda fun. Also kinda scary. (I like planning things. I'm very good at planning things. Stories that don't go according to plan are scary.)

Defiance

Defiance continues. I am writing away at it. And the side-stories.

That is the word count of the entire document, counting side stories and slush, but - it's a lot of words y'all, and it's only going to get bigger. Long longfic will be long.

We have 2-3 chapters left (depending on when this actually get posted) of the Sea Hawk sequence, with a chapter of transition.

Then we are deep into Adora's story for a good long while.

As of my writing this (Nov 21 2024), I have about 12-15 chapters of buffer written, and am deep into the next arc of the story, post Adora leaving the Horde. (And really, that's not a spoiler; we all knew that was inevitable!) I'm writing at a good place.

I do have some more side-stories coming up. One at the end of the Sea Hawk sequence, and a couple more before the end of the arc, and one between arcs.

There may be a week break at the end of the arc for one of the side stories, but I haven't decided on that yet.

One of those side stories has run away with itself - and me - and will likely be several chapters long (3-5, I reckon) and is the first side story I have regretted pulling out of the main fic. That story will cover some of Akrash's and Catra's past, and the writing on it has been really quite good.

I know some of my commenters have been concerned about typos in previous chapters, and while I'm not normally fussed about those things, as we come towards the major events in the next dozen or so chapters, I will probably - a chapter or two at a time - editing for typos and what not. This does not mean I want or need folk pointing things out. This is merely to say 'yeah, I know they're there, and I will get to them at some point. Probably.'

Typos happen.

Other Writing

I mean, such as it is. Defiance owns a lot of my words right now.

I am working in the background on a Star Wars: the Clone Wars fic - Barriss Offee/Ahsoka Tano, and it's a bit more than 100k and promises to be quite long. Not sure when I'll start posting it, but sometime in 2025 seem likely?

I have finished and sent my first Babylon 5 fic to beta, and am waiting to hear back on if I nailed what I wanted or if I am going back the drawing board.

I have a few more stories planned, here and there. A couple of things in Star Trek - one Next Generation and one Deep Space Nine, but nothing longfic or as substantive as Defiance or the Star Wars fic.

I have a longer Zoids fanfic planned and a fair bit written on that, but it's a very niche fandom that only some of you are aware of. Early to mid 2025. (I think)

I will probably have a CageBlade fic finished sometime after the start of the year, and I will probably have a few SWTOR (Star Wars the Old Republic) stories at some point. (Because that game won't let my brain go. Makes sense, I suppose. It's the only game I play.)

I am still working on the pre-emptive second draft (*cough*rewrite*cough*) of my first (and never published) She-Ra longfic called For Honor and I reckon I will end up talking about that more as I work on it more and assuming I remember to tumblr things.

Other concepts percolating in my brain are pretty much 'no plot, just vibes' right now and include (but are not limited to):

Trucker Catra/van-lifer Adora AU (canon species, with magic)

Adora as a veterinarian at an animal shelter Catra helps run. Lots of city politics in that one. Some social media influencer stuff, too.

There has been some discussion of me finally finishing an old Castle fic. (I did some great writing for this one, but I lost the thread of it after my fiancé passed. I hope I can get the same pace, cadence, and flow again.)

I have promised to (eventually) write an MCU story. It's started. The writing is solid. I just need time to plot and plan that one a bit better before I work on it more. I know the ships in that one one won't be terribly popular, but that's par for the course with me. Alas!

There is a Star Trek Tos beta-canon novel duopoly by Diane Carey I have always loved and wanted to write fic for, so I will probably be writing a longer fic for that at some point in the future. [Dreadnought! & Battlestations!]

Figure on more DS9 randomness for me throughout the next year. I have some somewhat random-ass things I want to poke at in that universe, but I have no idea exactly what those stories will look like yet.

Possible Babylon 5 side-character story nonsense and, as @derangedhyena would say - shitposting.

Recently, the r/fanfiction Discord server I help mod had our first FicWriMo event -replacing NaNoWriMo after the betrayals and shitty comments and AI endorsements of these past few years (if you don't know about any of this, then go look it up! Lots of very smart, very erudite people have told that tale in full - I do not want to rehash it here) and I did a bunch of writing about writing for that event. Some of the folks on the server found my writing helpful, so I have started the process of collating that into a PDF.

So that's something that will appear at some point in the next couple or three months.

(If anyone is interested in joining that server, it is a pan-fandom server focusing on being a supportive environment where writers can grow without fear of being bashed, having their fandoms or their ships bashed, and can talk about the things that make them happy. Our first rule is 'no bashing' - not fandoms, not ships, not media, not yourself, not each other, not everyone else's work. We do adhere to Discord's ToS, so. - no underage sex, no under 18 writers in the smut channels, etc. It's a great place.)

So, as always, thank y'all for reading - whichever of my (many and varied) fandoms you read.

Q&A

As to a question posed to me in one of the Discord servers I'm on. I was asked to answer it on Tumblr, so I am answering it in this post, because I am talking about my writing.

The question was - given that I am devastated by and terrified of the election results, and given that I am disabled, work with the the neurodiverse and disabled communities, and am an advocate, how will this affect my writing.

Fairly easy. I'm going keep voting, keep talking, and keep working. I will continue to be a voice in the digital wilderness when and where I can - as long as it is appropriate for me to do so. Which means, you'll see reblogs from me here on tumblr, for sure. But most of what I do and am involved in, most people will never hear about or know about. At least, on this platform. This isn't the place for me to discuss those things. There are a lot of reasons for that, not the least of which is that most of what I do is working with people on an individual basis, and thus most of what I do is particular that those people. And I am not going to share their stories or their lives without their express and direct permission.

Nor do I believe I am going to convince anyone of anything here. I will always reblog things that vibe with who I am now, and I will support those causes important to me, and I will continue to do my best work for my students and their families.

I am also going to throw myself into gratuitous escapism. To echo @paganaidd, I am moving to Etheria for the next fours years. I'll take some road trips to a galaxy far, far away, the United Federation of Planets, or the Interstellar Alliance. I'll go to Zi on safari, but I think I'm going to end up back on Etheria for awhile. I have a lot of Catradora stories I want to tell (two long fics, my current one-shot series, and at least one other series in development).

But how I am going to write those stories is what is going to be affected most of all.

While Defiance has more than its share of angst, it also has hope and love built into the foundations of the story. Red Crème Fizz is a fluffy canon divergent 'what if' - and a lot of what I write over the next four years will be built around the idea there are heroes who want to be heroes, that good guys can and should win, and that evil should get shitkicked, curbstomped, and beat down.

Another friend (thank you @dei2dei) sent me this:

That sentiment appeals to me on a very deep level. (Aside from not being able to write comedy to save my life or anyone else's life.) But the sentiment is one I intend to carry over.

I've said before I am a noblebright writer, and I am. So my stories will not be devoid of angst or challenges, but - hope and love and happy endings are going to become strong themes, because I think the world needs more of that. But with hope, you have to have meaning - you have to have something to make purpose and hope and happy endings matter.

As a friend and I discussed recently, meaning is also more immediate - and I hope to show that through my stories. I also think that through meaning comes hope that isn't blind, and the ability to work for meaningful, lasting change.

Argue with me if you want to about 'realism' or whatever. I won't engage with you on it. I'll just keep writing what I want to write.

And so should you - no matter what it is. Another good friend created this for me some time back for the r/fanfiction discord server, and I toss it out like a party favor.

So I give this to each and every writer and creator out there who needs the reminder -

What we write matters. What we create matters. And you should write what you want, how you want, and fuck anyone who says otherwise.

(Y'all, I have some amazing friends. I really do.)

[riccissance]

i’m actually getting back some motivation/energy to write (yay!) so i wanted to post a bit about what i’m working on to try and keep that momentum going (and pressure myself into following through)

-continuing you should have been mine is priority #1, my goal in the next week is to finish the current chapter and make detailed outlines for the next few chapters

-i have a few one-shot ideas in the same universe; first is a jackieshauna ft. crystal fic that takes place after yshbm, next is an akilah-centric fic that spans the 25 years between her death and travis’, and one tai and akilah fic right after tai’s death. the first one is mostly written, second is fully outlined but unwritten (and will probably take a while bc it’ll be loong, akilah lovers will eat well), and the last one is still being workshopped

-i have a few ideas for new jackieshauna fics once i finish all of that (a multichap, a one-shot, and a two-shot) and a couple ideas for lottielee fics (a multichap and a one-shot). i’m not ready to share the details yet, but just know i’m plottin’ and schemin’!

i also just wanted to say that i really appreciate everyone who’s read, commented, kudos’d, even just looked at my fics. you all help motivate me to keep writing and challenging myself, and i hope i can get more out for you soon!!

[storyofmychoices]

The beginning of 2024 had definitely already brought it's share of challenges for me, but I'm hoping that maybe things will still be improving from here! Thinking positive!

Writing Goals

Where to even begin? I have probably 100+ WIP ranging from a scribbled idea on a post it to an outline that needs to be typed. I'd like to put a dent in that? So far each year, that list keeps growing instead of shrinking. I find that I'm more of the in the moment writer. It's all or nothing. Either I finish a piece in one sitting or it never gets done. I'd like to try to find more of a balance in 2024.

In a perfect world, here are some stories I'd like to complete:

Mal's proposal: I started this fic last February, and would really like to actually write it. I have art for it. I don't know what I'm waiting for, especially now that I have their Blades 2 AU proposal done 🙈

Laser Tag with Brylivia: This is just a short little drabble that I think is like 75% written. It's from 2 years ago. I really have NO excuses lol

Love and Scotch: This series fell away when I stoped writing Ethan (for a number of reasons). I'd love to finish this series. I had several more chapters planned but I might just skip some and at least get to what I envisioned as "the end" aka Thomas and Alex's HWU AU wedding and a big turning point for Ethan and Ellie.

#HollywoodHacks: Does anyone even care about this series? Anyone even remember it? I feel like no. I was really only writing it for 1 person, but they're not in the fandom anymore...It might not be the ending I'd planned or wanted, but I think I could wrap the series in 1 or 2 (tops) more chapters. I had hoped that the story would lead to me writing more for Ben Parks and my #LoveHacks MC but that never happened

Tipsy Nia x Daenarya: an anon requested tipsy Nia hitting on Daenarya and I started it but then never finished it. It's such a small drabble it seems silly to even include it here, but here we are!

Blades 2 AU: At the start of Blades 2 I was doing a great job keeping up with the book and rewriting the chapters to fit my vision for the characters. That kinda fell apart around Chapter 5. I'd like to finish that rewrite and see how Iliana fits into how the rest of the book happened. Last I wrote, Daenarya didn't even know she was pregnant.

Rayden and Lydo's Adoption: Mal and Daenarya have already decided to adopt them. I've also written them as a family. But, I've never written the actual story of Mal and Daenarya telling the boys they were adopting them and they'd be a family forever, so I'd love to do that!

Pairings I'd like to write more of in 2024:

Thomas and Alex: I used to publish 1 new story a day when I first started writing them. It lasted over a year, then it gradually decreased. Last year, I only wrote them 10 times! I know the lack of interactions with their stories, has definitely made me want to share less and just enjoy daydreaming for them, but still, I'd like to keep their story going, regardless of interactions, because they are so special to me. Plus, if I could wrap those two series above that they're in, that would definitely lift my RCD/HWU fic count for the year!

Nyx x Aerin: I LOVE NYX! NYX is incredible and I love love love them. Aerin is kinda fun too. I would love to develop these two more this year.

Trystan and Lilah: I've only written them a few times and I'd like to get to know them better

Beckett and Emma: I haven't written them in a long time and when I did write them it was for 1 particular series (them in Detention). With the Book Club replaying TE, I'm hoping I might be inspired to see what they're like outside of the library.

Troy and Astraea: I love these two but I haven't had time to explore them more. I don't think I'll have time to participate in the group reread right now, but I would still like to reread WTD at some point this year and keep developing them.

Daenarya x Maiele (@lilyoffandoms) + Mal x Tyril: In 2023, Lily and I started to develop these relationships more. I loved every second of that and I hope 2024 will bring us more of these four lovely characters.

Mal's Orphanage: Blades 2 destroyed the orphanage storyline. If PB wanted to steal it they should have done a better job of it. Like there was literally no point in them having that storyline since they abandoned it the first chance they got. I'd like to fix the Blades 2 orphanage storyline but then go back to focusing on my original orphanage because those children are my favorite.

Other Goals

Catch up on reading and be a more active reader

Follow and support new Choices accounts

Continue with the book club and other events I host but find a balance with hosting that I still have time to create and read/support others

Try my hand at drawing again. I had been drawing chibi's a while back and I haven't had time/the courage to try again, but @lilyoffandoms's incredible art journey this month has inspired me to add it to my list this year

Keep editing Aerin in the sluttiest Choices outfits I can find

Flesh out more of Olivia's pediatric practice and how she transitions from Edenbrook to Sunshine Pediatrics

Be kind to myself and let myself rest when I need it. I am my biggest critic and if you ask me what I'm good at, I'd say nothing and I would tell you everything wrong with anything I've ever done, including all of my pairings. I see the mistakes and I want to let myself see the good and focus on only that this year.

[ladylooch]

Letters in Your Last Name- Chapter 1

Visit the Series page here.

A/N: She's here! On Tumblr! The AU that brought me back to fan fic 🥰 I am going to post one chapter a day until it's all over here. I originally posted this on mibba, but Tumblr has been kind to me and I want to share these two with you! Note, I did change Alex's kids names because it felt like the right thing to do. K, enjoy!

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: swearing.

“Alex Stalock!” I screech at my older brother as he tries to grab the mini stick out of my hands. “Your son needs to learn how to lose.” I insist, reaching out my hand for him to give it back to me.

“Sam, he’s 5. Let the kid get at least one shot in.” Alex laughs, giving me a light shove.

Alex and I are playing mini sticks with his oldest child, Sawyer, in the living room of my brother’s sprawling home in the outer suburbs of St. Paul, Minnesota. I’m determined to score on him just like I was when we were kids playing in our parents unfinished basement, 10 minutes from where we are now. Alex is my youngest, older brother and currently plays for the Minnesota Wild as a goalie.

“What time is Kevin going to be here?” Felicia, Alex’s wife of almost ten years, asks after taking a sip of her red wine. They were high school sweethearts and she’s been a part of our family for as long as I can remember.

“6:30.” Alex answers as he sets himself up in the net again.

“Who is Kevin?” I wonder as I reach for the ball on Sawyer’s stick in a lame attempt to take it from him.

“New guy. Just got traded here from Nashville.” Alex says as he exaggerates a dive. Sawyer shoots and the white ball sails into the netting. He lifts his stick and cheers, pumping his fists in the air and yelling.

“Daddy, I’m Eric!” He exclaims, mimicking Eric Staal who is known for his excited, goal scoring celebrations on the team.

“You’re definitely quieter than that guy.” Alex snorts. “Kevin is your age.” Alex finishes to me, grabbing a sip of water from his glass on the coffee table.

I’m the youngest of my two siblings, but I’m actually considerably younger than both my brothers. Nick, the oldest, is 12 years older than me while Alex is 9 years older. It goes without saying, but yes, I was a complete surprise to my parents, who thought they were done after having two boys. My older brothers were smitten with me from day one, but Alex and I have always been the closest. He taught me how to skate, tie my shoes and throw a punch. Mom wasn’t too thrilled about the last one. The teenage years were a struggle, especially considering Alex liked to scare all the hockey boys away from me in high school. Overall though, we have been thick as thieves and rarely notice the age difference.

“Honey, can you help me put the salad together? Serena needs me to help her go potty.” Felicia reaches for their daughter and scoops her up into her arms. Serena is the youngest of the two kids, turning three in a few short months.

“Yep!” Alex agrees, swiftly leaving our game.

“Alright, little man. You’re toast now that dad’s gone.” I grin mischievously at Sawyer.

“Doubt it.” Sawyer replies. I laugh loudly and glance at Alex who gives me a wicked grin.

“That’s my boy. Get her.”

Sawyer and I duke it out while dinner is being prepared. He allows a couple soft goals and I let in a few just to keep the fun going. He’s winning by two goals when the doorbell chimes throughout the house.

“Got it!” Alex yells from the kitchen, jogging out to the front door. “Hey man!” I hear Alex greet our guest. “Come on in.”

I stare Sawyer down in the net, looking at the gaping hole he left to the right and instead, shooting directly into his stomach. I let out a groan as Sawyer giggles excitedly.

“Nice save bud! Time to be done though. Please go wash up for dinner.” Alex says as he walks back into the living room with Kevin Fiala in toe.

“No! I’m about to beat Auntie.” Sawyer insists.

“Lies,” I shake my head at him, giving him a joking snarl. “Nobody beats me in mini sticks.”

“Well, if you rage slash everyone when you lose, it’s in everyone’s best interest if you win.” Alex grins wildly at me. “Sawyer, that wasn’t me asking. Go.”

“That was one time.” I pout at him. I glance to his left and take in the newest member of the Minnesota Wild. What I see is as good of eye candy as you can get. Strong jaw, deep brown eyes, a smile that invites you in for one drink and the next thing you know you’re screaming his name in pleasure. Yikes. I shake my head, putting on a pleasant smile and forcing my eyes back to my brother.

“Kevin, this is my little sister, Sam. Sam, Kevin.”

“Nice to meet you.” I wave at him, grabbing the sticks and goals to move them out of the way. Kevin walks towards me, grabbing the goals out of my hand.

“I can help.” He offers.

“Oh, thanks.” I say to him, smiling. “They go in the playroom down the hall.” I tell him. We enter the playroom and I step over stuffed animals, cars, and legos to get to the back corner where the knee hockey stuff lives. As he places the goals down, I take an opportunity to look at him. Damn, this guy is gorgeous. Not even in the trying too hard kind of gorgeous; It’s all clearly natural. A combination of his bone structure, 5 o’clock shadow and brown hair flipping out slightly from his hat makes me weak in the knees. He’s wearing dark jeans and a white Adidas sweatshirt that showcases his broad shoulders. He glances at me and when our eyes meet, I can feel my body tingle in response. Our gazes hold for a breath, but it’s enough for my heart to beat faster in response.

“Alex says you live here?” He asks me when our hands are empty.

“Um, yeah. Alex is gone a lot during the season, so I help out with the kids when he is out of town. At first, it was just for long road trips, but it works to always have adults outnumbering the kids.”

“That makes sense.” He nods in response, hands going into his pockets. “So you’re the mini sticks champion in this house?” He tilts his head as he looks at me through shining, bright eyes. I laugh and give my eyes a quick roll.

“Alex likes to talk shit, but yes, I was always the champion growing up between my siblings. Being the only girl has it’s perks sometimes.” I shrug. “As for this house, I’ve been known to let Sawyer win a time or two.”

He leans his head back and genuinely laughs. I bite my lip, taking in the sight of his relaxed posture, his easy smile, and his tongue as it licks over his bottom lip. My stomach dips in response. I swallow hard, looking away from him.

Sam, you’re going into dangerous territory.

“Um, I think Felicia said dinner was almost ready.” I say, considering he is between me and the door. I know we need to move along, otherwise Alex or one of the kids will get curious.

“Sure. Well, maybe some other time you and I can play together. I’d love to challenge you for your title.”

“Oh really? Even after the rage slashing story?”

“What can I say.” He says with a shrug. He turns towards door, but pauses and looks back at me. “I like a girl with some fire in her.” He distinctly looks me up and down, pausing briefly at my lips, then grins like wild and walks out.

Uh oh.

- - -

Dinner is filled with carbs, wine, and plenty of light, Midwestern conversation. Kevin tells us that he is originally from Switzerland, but stays in Sweden during the off season. He played there before he was drafted into the NHL and fell in love with the country. He visits for multiple weeks in Switzerland before and after the season where his family still lives. He was drafted by Nashville in 2014 and had a rough journey through his NHL career so far.

“I appreciate the support I’ve gotten from the Predators over the years, but I can’t say that I’m sad to not be there anymore.” Kevin tells us after taking a drink of water. “Towards the end it became clear that I was never going to find my place in the organization.”

“I get that.” Alex tells him, “I’ve been with three different teams in my career and each one offers a different atmosphere. Some you can thrive in and others seem to hold you back.”

“Yeah, and being a European far from home adds another level of frustration when things aren’t going great.”

“I bet. I feel grateful I can play in the place where I am from and have my family at every game.” Alex nods. As he finishes, Serena lets out a large yawn. “Well, kids, it’s about that time.”

“But I’m not tired.” Sawyer tells his dad. He’s been fascinated with Kevin’s stories of his time in the NHL and abroad.

“I’ve seen a few yawns out of you too.” Felicia insisted, “Plus it’s bath night so we need to get moving.”

“If I’m holding you all up, I can head home.” Kevin says, moving to rise from his chair.

“No! Stay as long as you want.” Felicia insists, putting her hands up to stop him. “Al, why don’t you help me with the kiddos and Sam can stay with Kevin.”

“I can clean up.” I tell her. The kids are gathered up by their parents, leaving Kevin and I alone with a table full of leftovers and dishes. “You can just relax. I’ve got this.” I insist as he starts clearing plates.

“The least I can do is help clean up. The food was amazing.”

“Yeah, Felicia is an awesome cook. You’ll have to come back when she makes biscuits and gravy. Although, you should plan a nap into your day right after.” I laugh, grabbing a few glasses and walking over to the sink.

“That sounds like an off-day kind of meal.” He jokes as he hands me the plates. Our fingers brush and electricity slips up my arm and down my spine. Our eyes meet over the plates and I find myself unable to look away.

“Yeah, but it’s well worth the discomfort.” I say to him, trying to not sound as breathless as I feel.

“Some things in life are like that.” He gives me a small smirk before heading back to the table to grab more dishes. I force out a slow breath as I rinse the dishes before putting them into the empty dish washer. I don’t know what it is about him, but there is this undeniable force between us that feels like it’s pulling me to him. We work steadily in comfortable silence, him grabbing dishes and me putting them into the dishwasher. I take great care with each interaction to focus on the dishes in his hand and not let our fingers touch.

“So tell me about you.” He says as I’m putting the last few dishes away. I glance up at him, shrugging.

“What do you want to know?”

“Anything you’ll give me.” He leans back against the counter, arms crossed, waiting. My skin tingles beneath his gaze and I feel my cheeks grow pink at the awareness of his eyes on me.

“Born and raised here in Minnesota. I’ve never been to Sweden or Switzerland, or even Nashville. My favorite things are hockey, my family, and pasta. Coffee is my drink of choice and ice cream is my weakness.”

“Yeah, I’m a sucker for sweet things like ice cream and pretty women.” He mentions casually. There is a suggestion in his voice and the look on his face. I smile in response, sliding my gaze back to the dishes.

“FiFi, “I say using his nickname from Nashville that he told us about earlier in the evening. “Are you flirting with me in my brother’s kitchen?” I shut the dishwasher door, very aware that was the only barrier between us.

“Well, you having to ask is a bit embarrassing.” He bites his bottom lip and folds his arms tighter across his chest. “But I hope it’s still working.” I hold his gaze and breathe out a laugh.

“Maybe. But I’m not sure this is a good idea.” I say, pressing the start button. The machine clicks to life and I turn to grab containers for the leftovers.

“Ah. I get it. Your boyfriend isn’t interested in sharing?” He moves closer to where I am standing, grabbing a container and filling it with the leftover bread. He snaps the lid shut. As his arms move in this motion, I can feel the heat from his body through my sweatshirt.

“Smooth.” I acknowledge, scooping the pasta into two separate containers. “But, no, I don’t have a boyfriend. Is your girlfriend still in Nashville?” I wonder.

“I’m not the kind of guy who flirts with women when he has a girlfriend.” He says seriously. “So, what’s holding you back? I haven’t been charming enough?” He bats his long lashes jokingly.

“My brother would not be okay with any semblance of us.” I shrug. “Al and I are really close and he pays my bills, so I’m not super interested in messing that up.”

“I get it. I’m close with my sister too.” He tells me. “It’s too bad though. I’ve never met someone I’ve wanted to know every part of before.”

I let that sit in the silence as I walk to the fridge and place the leftovers in there. When I turn, I meet his gaze. There is this look in his eyes that is difficult to place. Wonder? Desire? Need? In normal circumstances, attention like this would be something I would laugh off. Those lines he’s using? Cheesy with a side of fluff. And yet, it’s working. There is something about him that makes me want to know him too. There is this chemistry between us and even though this is my life, it’s hard to believe that we just met for the first time mere hours ago. He feels familiar and comfortable. Someone I could fall right into and never bother getting up from.

Kevin pushes himself from the counter and walks across the kitchen to me with a container of leftover salad. He pauses in front of me, looking down into my face and I feel like I can barely breathe. His brown eyes search my face and whatever he is looking for, he finds because his lips pull apart into an easy smile again.

“Kids are down.” Alex’s voice carries to us. I can’t stop my body from jumping in response. I slide two steps back from Kevin and attempt to keep my face neutral. Judging by my brother’s squinty eyes, I look just as guilty as I feel. “Kev, want to play some chel before you go?”

“Yeah, hope you don’t mind getting your ass kicked though.” Kevin says as he brushes passed me, our arms touching briefly. I blow out the breath I was holding as they disappear to the basement where Alex’s gaming consoles are. I glance to the living room where Felicia is tiding up from the day now that the kids are asleep.

“Be careful with that.” She tells me as she folds the blanket and drapes it on the back of the couch. She gives me a knowing smile and I find myself fidgeting under her gaze. “He does look like fun though.” She winks.

“Yeah, something tells me he wouldn’t be boring.” I giggle, grabbing a can of blackberry Bubly out of the fridge.

“Well, what Alex doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

I help Felicia clean up the rest of the living room before deciding to call it a night. I have to be up early tomorrow to drop Sawyer at pre-school. Serena has a doctor appointment and with Alex leaving town in the morning, she can’t be two places at once. I wander down the stairs which lead into the family room where Alex and Kevin are playing the latest NHL game on Xbox. Kevin groans as Alex scores in the top right hand corner.

“Top titty!” Alex laughs, taking a swig of beer as the game resets for the next face off. Kevin’s eyes meet mine and he give this head a shake.

“Your brother cheats.” He insists

“Cheating does run in the family.” I shrug before continuing on down the hallway, passed the bathroom and into my room. As much as I’d love to linger in the room and watch, I know Alex would be suspicious of my presence.

I choose the basement for my room as it gives us all some privacy from each other. Sometimes, it feels a little weird to be living with my brother’s family. I’ve been with them for two years now, but it didn’t start to feel weird until after I graduated from college. I attended the University of Minnesota, Go Gophers, and earned a B.S. in Business Administration with an emphasis in Leadership. After college, I struggled with knowing exactly what I wanted to do. I loved the interworking of businesses, but the corporate world just doesn’t feel like a fit to me. When Alex asked for me to come nanny for them almost a year ago, it felt like a welcome chance to delay entering the professional world. Now, seeing my peers with their entry level positions, I worry that maybe I’m behind. With everything Alex has given to me, I feel guilty leaving them to pursue just anything.

I walk to my desk and sit at my laptop. I spend a few minutes flipping through various social media sites before I pull up Netflix. As I’m plugging my headphones into my ears, I hear footsteps down the hall, entering the bathroom next to my room. I know it’s either Kevin or Alex. My heart beats harder in my chest hoping it’s the Swiss native. A minute passes before I hear the click of the door. I click open an episode of One Tree Hill to not look like I was waiting for whoever was in there.

“This your room?”Kevin pokes his head into the doorway with a soft knock.

“For now.” I say as I pull my headphones out of my ears.

“I see you like the color purple.” He notes the lavender walls and my dark purple bed spread.

“I do. Our family was big Vikings fans growing up.” I notice the confusion on his face. “Our professional football team.. American Football.”

“Ah.” He nods his head in understanding. “They any good? I went to a few Titans games in Nashville.”

“Mmmm depends on the year.” I tell him honestly. He walks a little further in and looks at the picture I have on my wall next to the door of Alex, Nick, and I at Alex’s first game for the Wild. Kevin smiles at the picture then looks at me.

“Nice room. Maybe I can see more of it sometime.”

“I’m sure you’d like that.” I tell him with a smirk.

“Bed looks comfortable.” He gives me a playful smile that hints at sinister things.

“Oh my god.” I laugh, hiding my pink face. “Don’t you have video games to play? You better get back before Alex really starts to cheat.”

“I probably should.., and yet I’m much more interested in what you’re doing in here.” He shrugs, leaning back against the wall next to the door.

“Pretty boring stuff. Just Netflix without the chill.” I motion for him to exit the door and he laughs, nodding his head.

“Hint taken. Hopefully I’ll see you around.. Sam Stalock.”

“There’s a high chance you will. My brother is your teammate.” I remind him, sticking an ear bud back in. I’m trying to play it cool like I could take him or leave him, but my insides are all squishy at his presence.

“Hey Sam?” Kevin calls to me as I’m about to turn back to my computer.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for the fun night. I don’t get to hang out with many people my age when I’m in America. So, it was nice joking around with you. But, I really do hope I’ll see you soon.”

“Me too, FiFi.” I respond. His nickname comes out playfully and I watch as he licks his lips suggestively. He hovers in the doorway for another moment before lifting his hand in a brief wave. I wave back and watch the doorway long after he leaves. I hope this isn’t the last I’ll see of him.

Later that night, after Kevin leaves and I’m winding down for bed, there is a small knock at my bedroom door.

“Come in!” I yell and Alex opens the door slowly.

“Hey, just checking if you need anything before I head out of town tomorrow.” The Wild are gone in Canada for the next five days visiting the Calgary Flames and the Winnipeg Jets. This should give me a few days to cool off and forget about the team’s newest member.

“Just a couple of wins.” I answer him, smiling at my own cheekiness.

“I’ll do my best.” He laughs. “Can you take some video of Sawyer’s practice on Thursday? He wants me to show Suter, so he can get some pointers on his stride. Kid is a hoot.”

“My goodness. What happened to being a goalie?” I laugh. Alex shrugs.

“I think his mom has been the influencer behind that shift. She thinks he should be a defensemen.”

“Well, it is less stress for a hockey mom.”

“Yeah that’s probably true. Sometimes I still think mom is going to have a panic attack when I’m starting.”

“To be fair, you like to rush out to play the puck at the blue line a little too much.”

“Hey, it works.” He insists. “Alright, I’m going to go finish packing.”

“Safe travels, Al.” I tell him, turning to pull my comforter back and slide into my flannel sheets.

“Night, Sam.” Alex begins to pull the door shut but stops and pops his head back in. I look at him expectantly and watch as his face twists into a frown. His blue eyes meet mine and he pushes out a sigh. “Look, there seemed to be something between you and Kevin at dinner tonight. I’d appreciate it if you could avoid getting entangled with him. Kid has potential to be a stud and he’s a good looking dude. But things are going well in the locker room right now and we don’t need any distractions as we head down the playoff stretch.”

“Okay.” I roll my eyes at him, resisting the urge to call him a few choice words. Why do men always think women are distractions?

“Sam.” Alex’s voice has gone low and serious.

“Alex.” I say back, mimicking his voice.

“Stay away from Fiala.” He doesn’t give me an opportunity to respond before he is out the door, leaving me with the sense that this topic isn’t up for further discussion. I stare at the door, his words echoing in my head.

There seemed to be something between you and Kevin at dinner tonight.

A few hours ago, I would have told Alex no problem. But now, I’m not so sure. How do you avoid someone that you inexplicably feel drawn towards? I glance at the picture of Alex, Nick and I from last summer. It was my 21st birthday and we are all wide eyed, cheeky smiles, and a bit sunburnt from spending the day on the boat. I smile softly, remembering. Alex has been my best friend, biggest supporter, and protector since we were kids. My thoughts turn to Kevin and the connection we were both feeling tonight. To find someone that you have instant chemistry with is rare. I know this. But I also love my brother and know I should tread cautiously from here.

I turn off the lamp next to my bed and slide further down into my sheets. I pull the comforter up close to my chin and sigh. No matter what is potentially brewing between Kevin and I, mine and Alex’s relationship is more important. I owe it to him to put aside my other feelings and stand with my brother as the team pushes for the playoffs. This should be no problem. All I need to do is avoid the Swiss native all together. If I don’t see him, I won’t feel any of the connection and can easily honor Alex’s wishes.

Yeah. That is what I’ll do. Avoiding Kevin Fiala should be no problem.

I close my eyes, trying to ignore the sadness that has settled into my chest. Sleep comes easy, but relief from reality doesn’t. Within a few minutes, I’m dreaming of brown eyes and a Swiss accent.