#half the Bad Kids are aspec to me

[adaines-furious-feast]

☔️

Ooh, I haven't thought about this in a while but pretty early on in junior year I was considering writing about Riz and Adaine set during the Night Yorb quest.

Riz is on lookout duty while everyone sleeps/trances and Adaine talks in her trance. She talks about some of the stuff from the Nightmare Forest, asking about why she's so easy to throw away, how can she be so sure her friends won't throw her away too, stuff like that.

And Riz wants to talk to her about Baron and what he represents, but he also doesn't want to admit it to himself, or to let Adaine know he listened to her trance.

So he just resolves to make sure they all stick together.

[pixelxgore]

hers a billfold wip as a treat i changed his face bc i have free will

The art is to encourage you to read my silly little insanity (you should totally do it btw)

I'm dyslexic so sorry if anything is spelled grotesquely wrong lol autocorrect sometimes has no idea what i’m trying to spell

Starting with my head cannon because every thing will make more sense with it (or it wont that's entirely up to you) Imma try my best to make this enjoyable

So I head cannon both bill and ford as aspec this is important for the rest trust (I'm Aroace myself so some of my words are based of of experience ) being aroace doesn't mean you can't have a toxic one-sided relationship with a triangle

(most of this is pretty vanilla but I still wanna talk about it)

I believe it started of as a one-sided relationship on fords part (wow shocker) but it wasn't really love because he's ace it was more of infatuation (this stems from the fact he is a science boy and like ooo demon triangle thing) mistaken for love (I'm pretty sure this is common among aroace people or I just had an original experience) and maybe bill had just a little bit of the same feeling but instead of infatuation it was just pure obsession and when they had there little “tragic break up” and bill finally came to realize his obsession and it consumed him (idk i think that how abusive obsession is) and he realized he can’t live with out ford (i man he can but unhealthy obsession) and thus bills one sided relationship with ford where he just tries to get his puppet back but can’t figure out why he needs him so bad so he comes to the (subconscious) cuncultion there in love (because of course that’s the reasonable decision) and then you all know what comes after

I think bill has major will wood music vibes so I have nominated three songs of his for bill ford (cuz I'm genuinely going insane over them)

This is for fun and based off my head cannons

All of my discussions are made purely of the vibes the song gives me and how cool than animation in my head looks so take everything you know about these will wood songs and throw it out the window cuz none of that is relevant :3

i saw someone say “Will Wood songs can really be interpreted in different ways, and most of them seem like wisps of similar thought rather than a concrete narrative, so you're always a little bit right and wrong when you take a guess.” and i think you should keep that in mined

(I'm gonna embarrass myself so hard (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) )

I'm not gonna elaborate much but just trust me ok I put it kind of in chronological order

fords one sided relationship with bill: ...well, better than the alternative

Ok so this one is the least perfect out of all of them cuz it only half what I want (obviously this song is a stretch but hear me out) It's mostly for the like the last half of the song (remember what I said about throwing out the meaning for get that i lied) this song about the struggle ls of growing up and is a heartfelt plea to be understood and accepted for who we are (which obviously ford was a wired kid) and this kinda ties into the one-sided infatuation because it also is about the romanticism of nostalgic love, and the pressure of society telling you to find someone and "settle down" as we get older (witch yk aroace can’t really do that) so he’s grasping at the fact that he is enamored with this demon he just summoned (because science) so he can come up with this narrative in his head of how he is in love and can finally fit at least one of the societal boxes (idk it sounds like something to me probly ooc but I'm having fun)

bills one sided relationship with ford: ¡Aikido!

obsession with someone and how people often use coping mechanisms such as drugs to help with their feelings of uncertainty and helplessness. (yes this is copied not fully of a site this is tumblr not an english assignment) it also explores the idea that love and obsession can often manifest in neurotic and even pathological behavior.(oooo oooo look i’m so smart like staring the apocalyps) i’m not this cool this whole thing started with the first like whit h is “I apologize for playing with your eyes But I’m obsessed with you” witch reminded me of how bill used for as a puppet and then yk fords whole world came crashing down (this one explained its self more i have to do less mental gymnastics) and he’s like im sooo sorry i can’t live with out you

there whole relationship from the deal to the end of bill: Misanthrapologist ("In case I make it,"

Outtake)

ok this one is the one that mostly made of vibes because the song is about an unhappy codependent relationship through metaphors of christianity, nihilism, outer space, and mozart (witch only really encompasses a portion of the relationship) the song stars with “I wanna meet your make Shake him by his ensanguined damask lapel Holler "Look what you've done Gave this planet a sun And made a man to wonder if he's more than the sum of his cells"” which makes me personally think of obviously the deal fore made with bill and how bill stroked his ego all the way through there partnership um you can see where i goes from here just go listen to the song

ok this one’s off topic and only for my imaginary animation but the line “So how could I stand a chance, let alone dance With the way you sweep me off these two left feet?” just like imagine this with me it’s bill (human probably cuz i don’t work with the triangle) and young ford in the minedskape thing and its bill dipping ford and when it goes down it switches to bill and fort in bills pyramid thing with ford chained up do you see the vision ok I’m done now (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

[mystic-insightss]

Oooo hey gravity falls fan!

Do you have any headcanons about any characters? I would love to know!

i am in fact a gravity falls fan!! i don’t have much art for them up on here but i do have a good few drawings on my instagram!

i made a headcanons note maybe a year ago that i never actually shared anywhere, so here’s that :)

stanley pines

- aromantic

- pronouns: he/him

- hates french people (is it a joke? we don’t know)

- has periodic nightmares

- has adhd

- prefers dogs

- atheist. bc of the trauma

- very dangerous driver. in addition to breaking like every law ever he has horrible tunnel vision. very bad at paying attention to his surroundings and often spaces out on the most insignificant objects and ends up almost crashing (or actually crashing)

- like mabel, he used to always lose to stanford in logic based games like checkers and chess. unlike mabel, he always beat stanford at ping pong and feels very happy for himself for it. (part of this is because stanford’s motor skills as a child/teenager were awful.)

stanford pines

- gay asexual

- pronouns: he/him

- has periodic nightmares

- is autistic

- played piano as a child

- struggled with self-harm as a teenager

- forgets basic life functions (e.g. sleeping and eating)

- prefers cats

- ngl ford gives asthma vibes LMAO like my man has horrible lungs

- nervous breakdowns. fiddleford calms him down by taking ford’s wrists in his hands

- agnostic only because the idea of punching god in the face gives him catharsis. still celebrates jewish holidays with stan & the kids

- even worse driver than stan. somehow. every bit of unexpressed anger he has gets expressed when he drives. wants every other car on the road to drop off the face of the earth. unhinged man that then turns around and says “what. i’m not a bad driver.” during the portal years fiddleford demands control of the car during trips.

- yeah he gets bullied as a kid for his fingers but he also gets bullied for EVERY autistic trait/symptom/display he has. it’s true he told me so

fiddleford mcgucket (1982)

- biromantic heterosexual* (see footnote. please.)

- pronouns: any

- likes to grow plants - idea credit to the fic ‘not one to forget’ on ao3! read it if u haven’t, you will have no regrets

- prefers neither dogs nor cats, likes other random animals better (cough. raccoons. cough)

- has to remind stanford to perform his basic life functions

- my mcgucket backupsmore headcanon is that he was shooting for a scholarship (or something similar to what stanford was going for) for a slightly less prestigious school than WCT and then when he showed his project to the scout people and it like blew up and hit one of them in the face and so needless to say they did not accept him

- he hates being called stupid more than anything

- he has anxiety. and yes that’s also pre-and-during-portal-years. the guy is nervous about everything. he nervous stims. chews his nails pulls at his hair shaking hands and legs the whole deal

- he doesn’t really talk about it either. he marinates. he marinates and ford developed a sense for it

- raised christian, really not that into it. has more important things to do

mabel pines

- sexuality: pansexual, or omnisexual. haven’t made up my mind yet but she’s definitely mspec!

- pronouns: she/her

- is she cis or trans?? who knows i can’t decide

- absolutely was into loom bracelets when they were popular

- also silly bandz

- 5’8” when she’s grown up. dipper is 5’7”.

- she collects squishmallows and/or beanie babies. they all have names. they take up half of her bed.

i have like nothing for dipper besides the classic transhet headcanon & him being shorter than mabel 😭 mystery trio phase hit me real hard ok

* don’t use this post for discourse. “bUt ThE SpLiT aTtRaCtIOn mOdEL iS onLy FoR aSpEc PeOpLe” too bad. i’m aroace and i say it’s *fine* who *cares*

[catgirl-catboy]

I'm not sure how many you have answered already, but for the Fandom Based Ask Game 🎀💕📞🤍

If you think I have only one of these per fandom, you are wrong!

🎀 a ship others like but you don’t?

DR- Naegami. They're too aspec for me to vibe with it, I'm sorry.

AA- Wrightworth, because I only like them when they're toxic af and the fanon removed anything that made them intersting to me. Also Trupearl.

HS- Erisol and Fefsol. If you're not going to acknowedge the toxic dynamics at play, what is even the POINT?

OP- Marcoace. That age gap is a solid yuck from me. You do you though.

Madoka- Kyoko and Mami. Boring! Only holy quintet ship I'm not all over.

💕a ship you’d defend with your life?

DR- Gonta wasn't tricked and Ougoku isn't as toxic as you think it is! If you have issues with Ougoku, you should also have issues with a bunch of other ships most people have no problem with!!! Stop infantilzing Gonta!

AA- Gumworth. Age gap? Boss/employee? Its not like GUMSHOES CANON LOVE INTEREST ALSO HAS THE SAME PROBLEMS!!

HS- Dirkjake. Stop demonizing Dirk here and start demonizing Jake.(only half kidding.) He has gotten away with it for too damn long.

OP- Zonami. They are not mlm wlw solidarity, they are dating and part of the polycule! (also sex repulsed Ace Nami >:) )

Madoka- Kyosuke x Hitomi. More of a Kyosuke apologist kind of deal, but I'm tired of people bashing either of them!!! Kyosuke is a teenaged boy coping with a career ending disability. He doesn't owe Sayaka anything. While in violation of the bro code, Hitomi had no idea about Sayaka's problems, and is entitled to ask out who she wants. (Also, her joke about Sayaka's sexuality makes me wonder if she really knew the depth of Sayaka's feelings.)

📞 a character others dislike but you don’t?

DR- Monaca Towa. The writing did her so dirty, since there's a crapton of textual evidence she suffered the same treatment as the other Warriors. Everyone talks about how she faked a disability, but not how badly she got injured where her family would buy that they paralyzed her, and never got it checked out by an actual doctor. Also she's related to Haji.

AA- Wendy Oldbag. She's funny as hell and I love her.

HS- Equius. Honestly, I side with him in the act 5 meowrails conflict. His concerns that Nepeta is hanging out with the wrong crowd is 100% correct. Is he a bit controlling about discussing it? Yes. But he's 13 and I promise you I'd be worse in this situation.

OP- Don Kreig. How can people say he's a bad villian, when he has one of my favorite fights in the entire East Blue? He's lowkey way more entertaining than Kuro, OPLA should have cut that one instead.

Madoka- Kyubey. Evil bastard man. give me more info on his species, please!!!

🤍 a fandom you’ve only recently discovered?

It takes time for me to get into a fandom, but my most recent fandom is Madoka Magica. If you're curious to what I might join next, I'm currently watching 100 girlfriends, but not really vibing w it.

[shutterlens]

[cw/tw: vent, cursing, mental health issues, discussion of reblog baiting and share-baiting, mild Christianity-related religious trauma, mental hospital potentially distressing content]

Internet chain letters are coming back with a vengeance and that scares the living shit out of me.

Ever since I saw the first form that I saw it take in 2015 when I was 12 years old at latest (maybe a year or two earlier but I don't remember the specifics) as those messages in the comments of those old Flash game web sites warning of some dire curse had the reader not shared it in a specific way, the debilitating fear that it struck in me with its near-guarantee of a threat of a horrible life still haunted me even to this day no matter how hard I tried to fight it and regardless of the fact that I avoided reposting those chain letters every time I saw them.

The first time I saw the comeback of chain letter content on the Internet was on add-yours Instagram stories, more particularly those with captions such as "add yours or bad [month]", occassionally requiring a more specific kind of photo to avoid such horrible luck and also occasionally specifying what said bad luck would be, e.g.- bad grades for "skipping" the add-yours story.

Every time I saw one of those, that old instinct that I got when I was a kid came back, that old instinct of fearing for my future, fearing for how my life would turn out, that old familiar feeling that something horrible would happen to me had I not shared that post around, it all came back. The way I always coped with that feeling worked until my recent institutionalization (also, no, I will not be using "softer", more invalidating terminology as I refuse to trivialize this traumatic experience that I have gone through) on October 4 this year (albeit an unusually lucky experience considering my circumstances).

A few days ago, about October 1 if I remember correctly, I saw one of those "add your or bad [month]" type posts from the Instagram account of someone I met at my local LGBTQ club at my college. After my experience with being forced into the Psychiatric section of that horrible hospital I was basically imprisoned in for more than a quarter of a day (seven entire hours), I started to feel like it was my fault that this happened (and not just from all the victim-blaming that I got both throughout and after the trauma. I talked more about it in a previous vent that I marked as "mature"), that it was my fault that God punished me with this inevitable event because I decided not to share that Instagram story.

The caption, that damn caption, it still haunts me to this day.

"pic or bad October".

It still echoes in my head, taunting me even to this day. Even when I knew that not adding to that was doing a favor for both myself and those who are distressed by share-baiting, the Web 2.0 equivalent of internet chain letters, it still feels like all the bad things in my life that I've gone through so far were my fault, all because I didn't add my photo in that add-yours story.

I logically know that this is irrational, that I shouldn't be experiencing this punishingly debilitating anxiety over something that should seem immensely trivial to me, but I just can't stop feeling this sense of guilt and shame for not sharing these Web 2.0 chain letters.

The only time I've succumbed to this debilitating anxiety was here on my Tumblr account, with my first experience encountering reblog bait.

The first time I saw these posts from the people I was following, things like "moral obligation to reblog this", "reblog if your blog is aspec-friendly", "reblog if you're not a bigot", "reblog if you even remotely give half a shit about the people you've managed to befriend on this God-forsaken website and won't just abandon them in two seconds", "reblog if you're not a horrible person who deserves to burn in a periwinkle incandescent lake of sulfur flames forever",

I just caved.

I caved into that instinct and shared those kinds of posts so I wouldn't be a horrible person, so I can prove myself to be even remotely decent, even though I may see now in retrospect how I've done horrible, permanent damage to the mental health of those who are most deeply affected by this type of content, the people with OCD, people who experience psychosis in some way (I've only had experience with the latter (I do not have OCD myself) as my high school has labelled my overgrown inner critic who is technically not a separate person or entity from me in any way as I completely own my mind and body and Inner Voice is just a parasite that's way too big, but can use the motor and vocal parts of my brain to abuse me through my own body and voice as had been done before since early High School when Inner Voice first started existing, which a Social Worker from my high school diagnosed as such, as "Generalized Psychosis"), and certainly far more of the most vulnerable and disenfranchised in this world.

To the people that I have hurt, I am truly and undeniably sorry. I am fully aware that the actions that I have done to hurt you by reblogging this type of content has immensely and irreversably hurt your mental wellbeing in an undescribably painful way, and I promise to do whatever I can to learn from my mistakes and do better in the future.

To the people (yes, even my mutuals) who share reblog bait on their blogs: I will not be reblogging these reblog bait posts that you have shared for the mental well-being of both myself and others, even if I may immensely value you as a friend, even if we are mutuals. I refuse to feed into my fear once again by sharing those types of posts.

[stars-n-spice]

Thanks for the tag!! 🩵💫 Sorry it took so long to actually reply to this-

How many works do you have on Ao3?

40! We don't talk about all the fics I've orphaned/deleted-

What's your total Ao3 word count?

504,821 aha-

What fandoms do you write for?

Right now? Mainly Star Wars and specifically Bad Batch. Been churning out a lot of OC related stuff too. But I've written for a ton of other fandoms, mainly Marvel, Cobra Kai/Karate Kid, and TMNT.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

"Conversations with Myself" - A 2012 TMNT x ROTTMNT crossover fic (998 kudos)

"Ah Yes. Me. My Boyfriend. And the Twelve Kids He Adopted" - A fluffy Haikyuu fic (474 kudos)

"Beautiful, Beloved" - A c!Awesamponk fic (407 kudos)

"A Universal Wish (Ni Kar'taylGar Darasuum)" - A DinCobb slowburn fic (343 kudos)

"Rest Between Rebellions" - A Star Wars Rebels fluff fic (226 kudos)

I'm realizing that these are all old fics (probably like more than a year old) but I shouldn't be surprised considering how people tend not to interact too much with fanfics anymore 🙃🥲

Do you respond to comments?

If I got any,, lol. But, yes! I love responding to comments!! Getting comments is better than drugs man,, I love responding to comments because it means the reader took the time to say something about what I've written and that means the world to me <3 The least I can do is respond back!

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oof,, maybe a DinCobb fic called "But Now You're A Stranger" in which Din and Cobb get together for a night but part ways. Then when Din comes back in BOBF for Cobb's help there are a lot of emotions they struggle to deal with and ultimately end up being estranged. It was based off a song called "August" by flipturn and I think I might've cried while writing it.

What is a fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics tend to have happy endings but I don't know how to go about choosing which one had the "happiest" ending out of all of them. Recently though, I wrote a fic about Wrecker meeting his new adopted daughter for the first time, called "Buir be Ner (Father of Mine), which started out with Wrecker's girlfriend being nervous about introducing her daughter to Wrecker but ended with them getting a small taste of being the family they longed for :)

Do you get hate on fics?

I don't, thankfully! I don't know why someone would take their time to leave hate on something or give time to read something they hate but,, y'know,, I'm just grateful I haven't had to deal with that yet.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't write smut. I'm aspec and writing smut makes me feel weird, I don't really like it :/ Usually I'll timeskip over it or something if I include something like that. Most I'll do is some foreplay, but that's like it. I've tried before but I honestly just tend to avoid it in terms of when it comes to writing fics. (explains why all my characters are ace, lol).

Do you ever write crossovers?

Yes!! I absolutely love crossovers and wish I could write more of them. My most popular fic is a TMNT crossover fic and I did a few other fics where it wasn't really a crossover but I would put one fandom into the plot of another fandom so it's like half of a crossover. Kinda.

[REDACTED]

Oh? What happened here-

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Ah, not yet but I've had a very lovely non-English reader who has translated some of my fics for herself :D

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't. I'm a very unreliable person so I don't think this is a good idea.

What's your all time favorite ship?

Oh goddamn. Off the top of my head I always say Superhusbands (Tony Stark x Steve Rogers) just because it was the ship I was obsessed with the longest and I have a lot of good memories surrounding that ship. Also they're like,, multiverse soulmates and their different versions of themselves fit so many different shipping dynamics, so what's not to love?

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Definitely my TMNT crossover fic. It got SO much more attention than I expected and I feel terrible about letting all those readers down. Midway through writing the fic I became fixated on Star Wars again and can't bring myself to finishing it :( But there's so many others man,, I have so many fics I haven't finished yet-

What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm really good at writing natural dialogue apparently despite being terrible at holding a conversation myself. Someone asked me if I took a class on it once and I told him I just spend a LOT of time listening to other people speak. I'm also apparently good at creating characters and character dynamics. That's another thing I tend to get a lot of comments on when it comes to workshops with my writing; that I write "real/relatable" characters or that my characterizations in my fanfics are spot on. I heavily value characters and characterization so it's always nice to hear/read something like that about my writings.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Description (yikes). And keeping things short :( Growing up my english teachers always commented that I had a habit of writing a lot of run on sentences. Now I just put in a lot of commas and semicolons (whomp whomp). As for description, I struggle coming up with what I think is good description. I've had a handful of people in workshops compliment me on my imagery though and claim that my narrative writings read like a movie they can clearly picture but sometimes I feel like it's not a lot and I just take SO much time thinking about what to write for description.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

Eh, usually the only other languages I include in fics are Spanish and Korean because they're my languages and I'm familiar with them, but I don't really have any opinions on them. I will say though that if you DO write something in another language, don't italicize it. It draws attention to it and makes it seem like it's something "unnatural" or something and if it's a native language for a character than that's the norm and therefore shouldn't be any different to how you'd normally type dialogue or action for that matter. That was just something my narrative writing professor really emphasized because people tend to italicize anything in a different language when there's really no reason to.

First fandom you wrote for?

OOF. I actually have no idea,, I'd have to go back to my Wattpad account but I deleted a lot of my fics on there, lol. Um,, if I had to guess though I might say it was either Marvel or TMNT. Do I remember specifically what it was? No. For Marvel it was probably a SuperHusbands or Superfamily fic and if it was TMNT it was probably something with old OCs.

Favorite fic you've written?

Waaaaaah, I have no idea 🙃 I enjoy writing all my fics (why else would I be writing them) so I think they're all my favorite, lol. I guess in terms of finished fics I would say that my favorite one was probably Karasuno's 12, a Haikyuu fic that followed the premise of the Ocean's 11 movie. I had SO much fun writing that fic because I had to fit the Haikyuu characters into the Ocean's 11 characters while making sure they weren't out of character. I also had to fill in a lot of the blanks from the initial movie while also adding extra scenes and coming up with those was fun too! Essentially, I had a skeleton (the plot, dialogue, and characters of Ocean's 11) with some muscle and meat (the Haikyuu character's) and I mashed them together to create the fic. And not only was it both challenging and fun, but also rewarding as hell! I had at least two readers who ALWAYS left super long comments about how much they enjoyed the fic and they helped motivate me to finish the fic. That fic got so many comments, it was just so nice and fufilling 🥲 I miss those kinds of feedbacks. So I think that that fic was probably my favorite, even if I'm not really in either fandom anymore.

Thank you for the tag! 🩵

Tagging whoever wants to hop on!

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 75

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 92,568

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently, Star Wars (mostly Bad Batch); however, I've written for a lot of TV shows over the years. (I prefer TV shows over movies simply because I can get to know the characters better and have a better feel for them when writing)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Unconventionally Easy (Star Wars: The Bad Batch) - a pre-Order 66 story about a mission gone awry for the Batch. 2. I Miss You (Star Wars: The Bad Batch) - Echo finds an unexpected message from a brother. 3. Regroup (Star Wars: The Bad Batch) - Tech and Omega have to leave Hunter and Wrecker behind when a job for Cid goes sideways. 4. Just Sit With Me (Star Wars: The Bad Batch) - A Cadet Batch fic featuring young Crosshair and Tech. 5. Resilient (Star Wars: The Bad Batch) - Echo struggles with his PTSD.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! It's one of my favorite parts of writing fan fiction!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? This one is really hard since I did Whumptober and Febuwhump and Angstpril 😅 I'd have to say maybe Haunting Failures or Sick Day (although my readers would probably choose different ones).

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably the Stardust Conspiracy or Detail Work.

8. Do you get hate on fics? In other fandoms, I have...I have yet to experience hate in this fandom.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I don't read or write or watch it...not my thing.

10. Do you ever write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I haven't really written any...but I did kinda play with the idea of writing a Psych and Bones crossover 😂 I was gonna call it The Psychic in the Capital.

11. ?? (there was no question for #11...so I'll just say....nothing, I guess)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I am aware of, but that would be so cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Kind of! I wrote Where Fears Are Born & When Fears Are Faced as companion pieces of @just-here-with-my-thoughts' fic Phobia. And then @just-here-with-my-thoughts wrote a couple cute companion pieces for The Stardust Conspiracy! (Find the Stardust collection here!)

14. What's your all time favorite ship? Kanan and Hera 🥰😭

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Mmmmm...I don't know. Any WIPs I have chapters posted for I have plans to finish...the ones slowly dying in my folder, however...😅

There's a Fives Survives AU I've been writing where he's actually the one who finds and rescues Omega from Kamino that I would really like to see through.

16. What are your writing strengths? I love character studies, so I feel like that really helps my writing!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I hate writing action scenes...and I tend to lean heavily on dialogue.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? The only time I've used "another language" in a fic is when I have clones use Mando'a words...but they don't usually use full sentences.

19. First fandom you wrote for? When I was an early teen I wrote for the Disney show Pair of Kings. 😂 However, I think I deleted the story after a couple of days...the first fandom I stuck to for a bit of time and still have stories floating around out there was Bonanza.

20. Favorite fic you've written? Basically any story I've written with the boys as cadets. They All Fall Down is probably one of my favorites, just because it reminds me so much of growing up with siblings. I also loved writing the Stardust Conspiracy.

Thank you for tagging me, @the-little-moment! This was so fun!!

Is it possible to tag all my moots?? Because I wanna see all your answers...(**cough**cough**if you've read this far, consider yourself TAGGED)

[deadangelos-fanblog]

Mun Updates WOOOO

HELLO I LIVE

If you haven’t seen already, by the time this posts the annual pjo pride art should be up over at @deadangelos. Very very fun. Got some new faces: Piper and Shel have been added to the lineup. Apollo is also no longer human. Magnus is distressed yet again, as is tradition at this point. 3/4 of the annual canonical PJO Pride Art features Magnus being distressed. Will this year is sparing everyone of the socks and sandals outfit, though I absolutely intend to continue tormenting everyone with that. Piper i have become incapable of drawing without DIY jorts, because let’s be real that’s exactly her vibes. Also I can never draw Lavinia without giving her pride color hair because the opportunity is there and I find it fun. Also Alex has heelys because I Said So.

The art is a bit fashionably late into the month but in my defense: My sleep schedule is, as the kids say, bad. I’m typing this at about 5am. Whoops.

I was very strongly considering including Reyna in this year’s pride art and only didn’t because she’s technically only aspec-coded, not canonically ace, and I try to keep the lineup of the pride art to the canonically queer major characters in the series and their partners if applicable. This is entirely just cause there’s a good number of canonically queer PJO characters and I already have to draw 12 annually. Drawing like, half of CHB would hurt me. I do really wanna at least doodle some ace pride art of Reyna though cause I adore her and also of course getting to draw one of my pride flags :Dc

Misc blog things: Grace Event will be returning soon!!! I swear!!! The blog’s not dead!!! I have a really long complicated plot that i’ve had planned out for like a year that covers events literally into Tower Of Nero and beyond so, yknow. Not just gonna drop that ball. Might start posting more here, especially with some fun little tid-bits about OCs and stuff on the blog and probably just general ramblings and research I do for writing and design. If yall ever have any questions or want to know about the random minute obsessive detail I put into things, the inbox for this blog is always open. There are also multiple mods so you may hear some input from them sometimes as well.

Mun Updates: Starting therapy tomorrow, very very cool. Also been figuring out how to use Adobe Premire and made a couple animatics and other silly videos. And bought Clip Studio Paint, so I will probably be messing around with that a ton. I am so very very tempted to make a Deadangelos animatic or two. Very tempted. insert eyes emoji here.

- Sincerely, Mun

[mcrmadness]

This is just me talking about (my) asexuality and aromanticism and mainly about how I figured I'm aroace. I'm from Finland and recently turned 30 so my experience and "lgbt+ history" might not be what you know it as, especially if you are not from Europe, or if your native language is English.

Also this is highly personal, so I doubt anyone here will have 100% same experience. But that's fine because remember: we're all individuals here and these are NEVER universal. You're still valid even if you wouldn't relate to what being aspec is to me.

It might be IS a long post so beware, but I've just been feeling like writing down some thoughts so here we go...

What I have been able to track is that I was 17, in 2008, when I first stumbled upon the term "asexuality". I don't remember exactly how, but I just remember reading about it and immediately going "yeah that's me". But what I do remember is that no one talked it being about sexual attraction. Basically how understood it was: asexuality = sex-repulsion.

I was 17, and somehow I knew I was sex-repulsed, but at the same time also thought I'm just a minor, so it's normal to be sex-repulsed. But even after turning 18, I don't recall ever feeling sexual attraction. I didn't think of myself as a "late bloomer" but just as someone who just has no interest towards sex. At some point I became really anxious of men, however. Nothing has ever happened to me* but still I, for some reason, developed terrible fear of men. I'm afab and just did not want to be seen as an object, and it made, still makes me, terrified to think someone might look at me and have Emotions. I know that we can't control our brains, I mean, I can't look at someone and force myself to feel attraction - just like those who do feel attraction, can't force themselves to stop feeling attraction. They can only control their actions. But yeah, I also had horrible (sexual) intrusive thoughts due to my generalized anxiety disorder at some point, which did not really help. They got a bit better when I came into terms with my asexuality and aromanticism, but sometimes they still come at me and it's never fun, but at least they're not as strong as what they used to be.

*(Unless if you can count that as sexual harrasment when, CW, I was 11 and a classmate was "into" me and tried to touch my face and talk "sweet things" to me but made it into a show despite me being uncomfortable and usually crying cos as a neurodivergent I didn't know how else to react.)

But anyway, back to the topic. So for years I understood asexuality as sex-repulsion, but I guess it's because I, well, am a sex-repulsed ace. So if I'm sex-repulsed, why would I then look at someone and feel something if I'm repulsed by the thing anyway? Like, it probably can't get any simpler than this :D And I know today that it's not as simple anymore. But that was 2008, at school (in ~2005) they only talked about gays a little, on one page in a sex.ed. book that otherwise was maybe 100 pages long. Only one page. About gays. And it was basically "Some boys like boys or some girls like girls and it's totally fine." and that was it, but the overall assumption was that everyone likes someone. And also there were no romantic orientations. Liking someone = both sexually and romantically. Not liking = not a thing except when you were depressed or otherwise mentally ill, or autistic or mentally disabled (which is a SUPER ableist take btw). I don't remember teachers ever talking about this, but it could also just be my adhd, maybe they did mention, but I just don't remember. At least in my notebooks there is no mention of this, everything was very much heteronormative and amatonormative, and also there was only two genders. I don't remember ever hearing about transgender people, apart from foreign documentaries and in them they were always portrayed as some shocking freaks of the nature, and loads of wrong terms were used. And this is still the mid and late 2000s we're talking about!

So this takes us to the other part aka aromanticism. Back then asexuality was not only sex-repulsion but also merged together with aromanticism, because people didn't talk about romantic orientations yet. So asexuality was not only sex-repulsion, but also you simply just not wanting a relationship. Again, nothing about attraction, just someone who did not care about sex nor relationships. A "forever single", if you will.

This was already annoying me a lot back then because I was really annoyed by sex "running the world". I was so angry because why is asexual the only sexuality that doesn't like sex? All the other sexualities had the assumption of them always wanting to have sex. Like, even think about someone who is straight, you hear that someone is straight, and you automatically assume(d) that oh they're into sex too cos why wouldn't they be. This was really driving me nuts because I was sure there are people who want to have a partner, but never want to have sex! I was still experiencing crushes, and I knew for sure it was nothing sexual, so it annoyed me that just because I'm asexual, it means I can't have crushes. That's why I actually called myself as "asexual bi" for a while, because "bisexual" indicated I would have not been sex-repulsed and I wanted to point out that I'm NOT into sexual things, at all - and remember that this was still the late 2000s or early 2010s and I had not heard of romantic orientations yet! So I was up to something, there just were no terms for that yet! Today that would be called bi-/panromantic asexual.

I haven't been able to track the exact date or even year when did I figure out I'm aromantic, or when did I hear about romantic orientations for the first time. From the messages I've been able to find, I was already in my early 20s. Aka somewhere around maybe 2011-2013. In those, I have still been wondering what I am or if I even want to have a relationship, not being really able to tell what I wanted or didn't want. Again, no one told me romantic orientations are about ATTRACTION and not about whether you have commitment issues or not (this as a half-joke, cos I have severe commitment issues with everything :D I need to feel free!).

Anyway, I do remember my key moment with aromanticism, or the "aromantic awakening" as you could call it too, was when I was 17 or 18. Or maybe I was older? I don't know, I have time blindness. Anyway, I had this one online friend I had a "crush" on (I think it was just undiagnosed adhd's person hyperfixation) and I even told her about it. Everything just is super shady, from those years, I was not really on my best and there are so many overlapping memories that feel like different alternative universes instead of memories on a same timeline. Anyway, I just remember at some point thinking about this girl and I thought about some "romantic" stuff, like kissing, and I just remember my brain going "NOOOOOPE!" I had wanted to meet with her some day so bad, but when I started thinking about actually meeting with her, I started to nope the fuck out. All I had in my head was awkward embarrassing "first kiss" scenarios from movies and I just was not having it! I basically went "lol I guess I'm aro too, then XD" but I still don't remember when did I have this realization. Was I 17? Or was I, say, 22? I guess I need to go through my old MSN Messenger and Skype convos some day to investigate this further because I really want to know. I couldn't even find anything from my Tumblr from those times (I registered here in 2011), but I don't know if that's just me not tagging or Tumblr search functioning normally (aka it never finds anything).

But yeah, I am touch-repulsed. And kiss-repulsed, and romance-repulsed, too, (unless it's my OTP we're talking about). I'm still not exactly sure if I'm touch repulsed because I'm aromantic, or if I'm aromantic because I'm touch-repulsed. I only know that because of my sensory issues (I'm neurodivergent), I have never liked touching nor being touched. Even as a little kid I hated hugs and never liked sitting on anyone's lap. I only tolerated my parents, mainly my mom, because they were my safe place as an extremely shy baby/toddler/kid, who was especially wary about men. I can't explain the latter, but there was something about adult men that caused me (as a baby) to hide my face against my mom's shoulder if they talked to me. I did that to everyone I didn't know, but especially to men I didn't know. No idea why.

I also remember how my siblings loved to sit on people's laps and were always climbing onto their laps, and I didn't like this. And once my (late) grandma was so touched when she asked me if I want to sit on her lap (I was maybe 5-7?) and I agreed just to make her happy. I still remember how it felt, and I did not like it at all, but it still made my grandma so happy that I THINK she almost cried when she told my mom I actually agreed to sit on her lap. I'm not sure how real this last part of the memory is because I was so young. But I do remember thinking I do that for a change because I knew my grandma would be happy.

So yeah, my touch-repulsion is not exactly a new thing but just something that has been a part of my personality forever. But is that the core reason for why I only feel aesthetic attraction? I never look at people and feel like I wanna touch. More of the opposite, the idea of having to touch them or them touching me makes me go "eeewww". If you have seen that video of a gibbon shaking their whole body after seeing a rat in their exhibit? That's what I feel like when I think about touching or being touched, in just any way, also platonically.

The only time I feel "sensual attraction" is when I see photos or videos of animals. The urge to pet a tiger is insane. But the feel of another human's skin or muscle (or hair or whatever) is very repulsive to me.

I still remember how disgusting it felt to e.g. sit on a cousin's lap. We sometimes used swings like this, and somehow I was aware of it not feeling nice, but still not doing anything about it cos it also was okay? Only later I have realized I really, really loathe the texture of human skin. Or the warmth and overall feeling of a human body. For example, I was at least 7 or younger when I sat on my cousin's lap while we were sitting on a swing and STILL, after over 20 years, I have that all in my body memory. I remember how the thigh bone felt under my legs and how freaking disgusting the muscles felt inbetween. Also at school, on the 1st grade, we often had to walk in a line of twos after the teacher and hold the pair's hand so no one gets lost. My then-friend had so ridiculously dry skin that the only thing I could think of was how I felt like throwing up because the skin on her palm felt so damn disgusting. I still can feel that in my hand when I think of it. That's one of my "core memories" from 1st grade - how disgusting the human skin can feel like.

I don't think I have ever felt actual romantic attraction towards anyone. It's really difficult to differentiate because as I mentioned, I get those people hyperfixations easily. I guess it's the same hormones but I never really want to do anything with them? I guess it's the emotional intimacy that "attracts" me and what gets me excited, but I'm still not exactly sure what emotional intimacy means to me. I don't exactly fall into the QPR category either, in a way I wish I had a best friend whose best friend also I would be, and that neither would have anyone else who is "better" than the other one. But the only intimacy there would be emotional intimacy, nothing else. And I need my freedom so I wouldn't move in with any human being, either.

Sometimes I've thought my "ideal partner" would be a robot because if I get annoyed, I could just turn it off and stuff into a closet and leave there, and if I felt like not having a "relationship" anymore, I could just remove the harddrive and destroy the robot, or both. That way I would be the only one with the memories, and I wouldn't have to worry about someone out there knowing things about me, things that only the closest can know, and I'm really afraid of letting anyone close in case it won't work (also with regular friendships) because I can't stop thinking about how much I wish I had that MIB memory cancelling device so that they would again know almost nothing, or at least much much less about me. There's already one friendship that ended a few years ago and I still keep thinking about how I wish I could take everything back and how I wish they delete(d) all the files and drawings and stuff I sent them. There are so many things about me I wish I never told them, now as we are no longer friends. Back then it felt like "of course this is gonna last a lifetime!" but turns out that nope, not all friendships will.

I guess it's time to stop rambling. This post is really long already. If you read it all the way here: congrats. And thanks. You probably just wasted your time but... that's on you I guess :DDD But yeah, some thoughts from a 30-years-old aroace who has been aware of their identity for at least or almost 10 years now.

[themagicruby]

BLACK FRIDAY SPOILERS

Alright i finally finished black Friday (I started watching it as it premiered but it was late and i wasn’t fully hooked) I originally wrote this long post halfway through that turned into a rambling live-blog of me watching the other half of the movie but it was bad so I’m going to try to say my thoughts concisely here.

Black Friday felt like too much. It felt forced, most of the plot and character backstories felt forced. It felt like trauma for the sake of trauma not trauma for the sake of well built characters. I didn’t like tom, and only kinda liked Lex and her boyfriend. Also idk how old lex’s sister is supposed to be but it felt like they were implying she was aspec or some other neruo-divergency for the sake of like “psycic kid because of their disability owwowowo” which is a horror trope I fucking hate.  The only characters I actually liked were Paul and Emma (even though they were barley in it and literally didn't need to be there, i think i would have liked Pauls character a lot more if they weren’t in the show but Im not delving into that right now) and Linda (very good villan tbh i like her character a lot) There were too many plot lines that took too long to converge and Im really upset that the teasers kept mentioning familiar faces but all we got were Paul and Emma (and the homeless guy) but they were barely in it at all. The show would have stood up without them or with Paul and Emma making a cameo or something at the end and honestly it adds to the extra forced story lines imo. 

This also didnt feel as clever with its writing as TGWDLM or Firebringer. It felt like they were so focused on making this big statement about capatalism and america that they forgot to write a cohesive clever show. Firebringer and TGWDLM had clever writing and theres a distinct point in each where the audience is supposed to realize the real message of the show. In Black Friday its kind of shoved in our faces the entire time. Theres no real story to drive it just a bunch of small plots that kind of relate to the story they were trying to tell.

What frustrates me more is that there are parts I really liked. There’s a lot that make for a solid story that i enjoyed watching If it was about paul and emma blackfriday shopping where this cult broke out with linda and the president plot was happening at the same time and it was just those 2 I feel like there would have been more opportunity for clever writing and conversations and the opportunity to show the decent into madness that the doll causes which is where the real satire could have shown through. And we could have delved a little more into whats goin on with the black and white/the parallel universes etc... 

Maybe if i watch it again all together after watching it once ill feel differently, or maybe im tired of het romaces where they ‘save’ each other from their trauma but for now im just disappointed, because i know they could have done better.    

[corelliaxdreaming]

can I selfishly ask for, like, all the qpp asks you want to answer?

(I’m gonna answer these sorta in third person cuz it feels marginally less awkward that way. ^^’)

1. describe them in 3 words resilient, adorable, opinionated

2. what’s your favorite habit that they have? Can I just just generally being completely adorable? Especially the cute noises, especially the cute sleepy noises. <33

3. do you have any pet names for each other? if so, what are they? We use a lot of endearments, particularly “love.”

4. when did you meet your qpp? About two years ago, when we got matched for swbigbang.

5. what’s your favorite thing to do together? For me, it’s a tie between headcanon tennis and those conversations where we’re being grossly adorable and just telling each other how much we love each other and how happy we make each other. <3

6. describe your favorite feature about them I don’t know if it’s techinically the favorite, but the way she’s always there to listen to me and advise and comfort me no matter how big or small the problem is good.

7. how long have you two been together? Since February 9th of this year!

8. have you created anything for them? I have written and drawn so many things for her. She’s half my muse and half my ruthless encourager/enabler. <333

9. is your relationship long or short distance? Largely long distance, but we visit eachother what I’d say is fairly reguarly.

10. are either of you ace or aro? I’m aroace, and she’s allo.

11. do you wear couple clothes? We have two sets of matching pride shirts! One Star Wars ones that say “ace pilot”/”pan pilot” and one that has a little bear with the ace flag and two black parent bears; mine says “baby bear” and hers is “mama bear.”

12. have you ever fought? We disagree on things sometimes, generally in sort of splitting hairs was when we agree in general terms, but I wouldn’t say we’ve ever had a serious fight.

13. what would be your ideal date? I don’t think we’d call it a date, but we both like storms and we’ve talked about being to cuddle while there’s one going on outside. <33

14. what place would you want to go to with them? GALAXY’S EDGE

15. are either of you polyamorous? No.

16. who asked who out? It was me that finally said “should we call this a qpr?” but it was like a week before she was going to visit and propose it to me while she was here. I like to think we proposed to each other. <3

18. when did you realize you loved them? I wouldn’t say there was really a single moment. It sort of came on gradually without me really realizing it. Betsy was the first to say “I love you” long before qpr ever entered the picture, and I realized yeah, that wasn’t wrong. And it’s only grown since. <3

19. is your relationship online or irl? Mostly online, but also some irl. See above.

20. do you see yourself marrying them? I don’t. I know marriages can be platonic, but I was going to get married, I think I’d want it to be with a romantic interest, and at this point, I don’t think that’s likely.

21. describe them with an emoji 👼

22. if you could give them anything, what would it be? Peace of mind!!

24. what song reminds you of them? Whenever I hear metal or hard rock, that’s “Betsy music” to me. As for one in particular, she sent me "Black Eye” by ARCHIS when I was struggling with aspec identities to show her support, and I still can’t listen to it without crying.

25. describe their aesthetic Badass activist, but also soft and gooey, full of feelings, cuddly af.

26. how affectionate are you with each other? Oh god, VERY.

27. do you want kids? Nope, neither of us.

28. who’s the pining idiot and who’s the oblivious dumbass? HA. We were both both, and it was bad. ^_^

29. have you ever dreamed about them? A few times. Once we got were going to go to Galaxy’s Edge, but then security kicked us out because we had a pocket knife with us “just in case.” Yeah, idk either.

30. how do you say i love you? Literally, a lot. But also, I think, just by always being there for each other and offering whatever support we possibly can. <3

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Unpopular opinion, but headcanon for Adela, please.

One Adela headcanon post, comin’ right up

Sexuality Headcanon: this is cliched but i cannot fathom her not being aspec. i think gray-a is the one specifically i like for her

Gender Headcanon: i also cannot fathom her being anything but cis, though maybe agender adela could be interesting

A ship I have with said character:i don’t really ship her with anyone at all tbh, part of me headcanoning her as aspec is that i don’t imagine her in a relationship, she looks like the type to only even have friends in a sort of vague ally idea

A BROTP I have with said character:camilo and adela because i adore the idea of her dunking on his egotistical ass, just not taking his shit or at best having a ‘sure dude whatever you say’ attitude towards it

A NOTP I have with said character:does ‘i REALLY don’t get this at all’ count? because then adela and aya. i just cannot get into it for the life of me. though i’m not into aya much so i suppose that couldn’t help

A random headcanon:she’s a blunt mastery because she grabs a chessboard and bashes people with it. those things when they fold in half and lock could do some damage honestly so this is less ridiculous than it could be

General Opinion over said character:*cahem* check check check ch

i’m kidding. honestly her gameplay is her biggest appeal, as a character she’s a good character overall though. her design and personality are good, i’m lukewarm towards her. i thought the part about her ability in games being a result of abusive parents would make me fume, but the reason why i’m so good at articulating my thoughts and giving direct criticism addressing the issues within things is abusive parenting too so that somehow makes me like her a bit more? and she also has the side effect of being REALLY competitive, so that’s nice and avoids the possible bad lesson within abuse victims having a great skill~

[briefpainfulandfullofgarbage]

#cluecrewquestionnaire

I was tagged by @hotchkiss-and-tell ten years ago and I’m just doing this now ahhh (my keyboard is broken typing take years :/ )

rules: copy and paste, answer the questions, tag 10 mutuals to do the same!

1. What is your favorite Nancy Drew game and why?

As a kid I really liked DDI, SHA, and CUR but I haven’t played them in years

2. Have you played all 32 games in the series? If not, which ones haven’t you played? If yes, which one did you play first?

I’ve played all the games except WAC and TOT. I really wanna play WAC but I don’t have a PC :/ (I heard there’s a way to make the PC games work on a mac but idk I’m bad at computers) I could play TOT but it doesn’t look that exciting tbh lol I will play it someday tho

3. What is your favorite line from any character in the series?

The one that’s referenced in my url cuz it’s just like.... so true. But also the part in TMB when Nancy asks Jamila what she thinks of Dylan and Jamila says “did I have to have an opinion on him?” and Nancy says “I guess not” and Jamila says “oh good that’s a relief.” And also like anything Joe has ever said

4. If you could change the ending to any game, which one would it be (no spoilers, though)?

Mmmm... idk about a specific game but I liked how in SAW and GTH you had more than one option for what Nancy could do and I wish more games had multiple endings

5. Which game is your least favorite, and why?

tbh RAN but I feel like that’s too obvious an answer?? but it’s true??? Other than that I guess I don’t like CLK much? I just don’t like driving or mini golf

6. Which character is your favorite? Why?

Of the mains Joe cuz he’s hilarious and Bess cuz I really liked her in MED. She was just really hashtag relatable?? Of the others Zoe Wolfe (SPY) and Dagny Silva (SEA) cuz I’m bi af and my type is girls who could kick my ass apparently. I like Henry (CRY) cuz he’s super depressing and funny. Also Gray (DED) cuz his whole existential crisis thing is too real. As an adult I have a newfound appreciation for Emily (CLK) cuz I too never leave my room unless the house is currently on fire. Also Jamila (TMB), Grigor (LIE) Colton (GTH), and Alexei (ASH)

7. Which character is your least favorite? Why?

Richard Topham (CLK) is the worst. So is Red Knott (DOG). And Tino Balducci (TRN), Colin (VEN), Toni (ASH), Lisa (TRT)

8. How do you feel about the whole Nancy/Ned vs. Nancy/Frank situation? Do you ship her with someone else? Who, and why?

Unpopular opinion but I don’t actually have an opinion?? I’m not really upset either way. I’m also here for aroace Nancy who’s in a committed relationship with adventure. (I did tell Ned I loved him in SEA tho cuz I just like... can’t make characters sad??)

9. Do you have any fun headcanons about any of the games or characters?

Mmmm not really tbh I’m boring. But Nancy is aspec, George is gay, and Joe is bi. That’s all I got rn idk about the others. @harpersthornton inspired me with their sims posts so I made sim versions of some of my favs. I’m not quite as good as they are at making them look accurate but sometimes my sims will do things and I’ll be like you know what I bet Frank does that

10. If you could visit any of the locations of the games, which ones would they be and why?

I’ve been to a few but Japan has been on my bucket list forever cuz I’m half Japanese. I really wanna go to Iceland to see the northern lights. Also New Orleans cuz it looks cool and I wanna go before global warming does its thing. 

11. Did you read any of the original Nancy Drew books? If yes, do you like them? If no, would you consider reading one?

I read some of them when I was a kid but I haven’t since so I don’t really remember if they were good or not. I liked them at the time tho

12. What is one thing any good detective can’t live without?

Koko kringles? Lack of tact and boundaries? Kleptomania? A Mary Poppins bag to carry all the stuff you took cuz it’ll ‘come in handy later’?

13. Which game had the best soundtrack?

Ohhh... tbh I don’t pay as much attention to the soundtracks as I should... I thought the SAW soundtrack was really cool tho

14. What is one thing you wish HER would’ve included in any of the games (a conversation, interaction, location, feature, etc.)?

Hmm... more diversity I guess? More lgbt+ and poc characters? Also in GTH I wanted an option to not ask super invasive questions about Colton’s mental health but I guess it’s not really a Nancy Drew game if Nancy doesn’t ask tactless questions

15. Do you have any ideas for a future game? What is it?

MID

16. How long does it take you to finish a game from start to finish?

I try to take at least a few days to finish each game. If I know I’m almost at the end I’ll try to do anything but finish the game lol

17. Did any of the games scare you? If yes, which ones? If no, why?

OMG anything with alarms gives me hella anxiety. Anything that’s timed and idk how much time I actually have. I always made my mom do those parts when I was a kid. Tbh they still make me anxious but I’m an adult so now I just suffertm

18. Why did you join the Nancy Drew fandom here on tumblr?

I got back into the games when I was in college and had no friends and hella free time. I lurked for a while before I finally pulled the trigger piglet

19. What is your favorite Nancy Drew joke (from in-game or even floating around the internet)?

How salty everyone is about her’s terrible marketing decisions

20. Who is someone in the clue crew you’ve always wanted to get to know?

Hmmmm.... everyone tbh?? but i’m gonna tag @hotchkiss-and-tell cuz they tagged me

21. What are three unpopular opinions you hold about the games?

1. I don’t like TRN as much as everyone seems to?? I haven’t played it since I was like 10 but I remember not liking it much. Idk maybe I’d like it now?

2. I thought LIE was pretty fun? Like I know the puzzles make no sense but some of them are just like kind of relaxing? Like the pomegranate puzzle and the art puzzle on Xenia’s tablet

3. I read one (1) Joe/Sonny fic and now that pairing owns my ass but I’ve never seen anyone else ship it

22. Do you have any fun theories about any of the games?

Uhhhh my un-creative ass doesn’t have anything original but this theory about GTH by @nancy-who is my fav

23. Who was your favorite animal character featured in the games?

Tumi (SEA) is the cutest

24. Do other people in your life know about your love for Nancy Drew?

A couple, not really. I did get one of my friends to play one tho! she played CRY and she thought Henry was super hot but the game glitched and didn’t let her finish it :/

25. How long have you been playing these games?

I got FIN for christmas when I was 8 so it’s been... wow 14 years

I did this like super late so idk who has/hasn’t done this... if you see this and you wanna do it consider yourself tagged and @ me in your questionnaire :)

[winterywitch]

anyway heres a summary of my discourse beliefves:

cishet aces/aros do not belong in gay spaces, bi spaces, lesbian spaces or trans spaces

for me my whole life the LGBT community has been more than that. my perspective is not that of some sad brainwashed child, forced into being more ~tolerant~ than i should be. i genuinely believe and have always believed the LGBT community is more than that, and im not just gonna drop that anytime soon, because i dont think the right to only consider the LGBT community as for “SGA and trans” people is liberation.

therefore cishet aces/aros belong in ace/aro spaces, which for me, count as LGBT.

but not gay, bi, lesbian or trans spaces.

there will be overlap because they are LGBT. but no, cishet aces/aros should have no claim to anything specifically for the L, G, B or T of the community.

for me the community is

Lesbians

Gay men

Bisexuals [SGA or not - as an SGA bi person, i get to speak on this.

Pansexuals

Trans people

Nonbinary people [counting agender, genderfluid, genderqueer, etc. non-cis, non-binary identities]

Intersex people (of course should they want to - the point of this list isn't YOU HAVE TO BE LGBT it's You Can Be Included)

Queer people [anyone who isn't cis or isn't het, including aroace people. non sga bi people im a little iffy on re: them 'reclaiming' queer]

Allies [i think this is important for people in the closet, as long as we dont let cishets get too big for their britches]

Aroaces

and hell, here’s a + to include anything i might have forgotten

aroaces are not functionally cishet.

straight privilege is straight privilege. it isnt not-homophobia privilege. to experience straight privilege you must be straight.

they definitely benefit from not experiencing homophobia. they can be absolute dumbasses abt homophobia for that exact reason.

but they dont experience straight privilege, because they’re not straight. that is all straight privilege has ever meant for me in my LGBT community.

cishet aces are cishet, and also aces. this means they benefit from cis privilege and straight privilege, but aphobia weighs down that straight privilege because they dont perform straightness in the Right way. i dont believe this necessarily makes them systemically oppressed the same way we are. but i dont believe aro or ace identities are privileged either.

there is no coherent Ace Community boogieman that is unanimously a bunch of homophobic, transphobic, racist jackasses, and if you believe that, you are a complete dumbass

yeah, the ace community is comprised of white cishets but, im gonna wager even more commonly, its comprised of literally every LGBT identity and race you can imagine. the ace community is not the white cishet community. it’s the community of everyone who IDs as ace or aro. this is not white cishets as a rule, as a majority, or even half the time.

that being said, inclusionists can say some stupid, shortsighted shit sometimes that is completely ignorant of LGBT history/oppression. i dont agree with the implications that i dont stand for every single thing they say and will not be held accountable for every single thing they say.

similarly, unless you wanna be held accountable for every single thing your side says/does before being allowed to call us out, uh, dont expect the same of us. the onus for this is on exclusionists, i have been around long enough to know you guys started this one. it is up to you guys to start being decent on that one, and then we’ll follow suit. those of us who dont are jackasses.

you are never at liberty EVER to explain to an ace person why their abuse or rape took place. that is called gaslighting, and no, you don’t get to throw a fit when someone calls this what it is. when you call a rape/abuse survivor an annoying disgusting freak for daring to talk about why their rape/abuse happened (since they factually know why it happened and you dont) and then proceed to insist that your headcanon of their trauma is the correct interpretation and theirs is not because theyre a filthy cishet ace (which they rarely are), that is quite literally the definition of gaslighting. and hey, don’t do it.

you are never at liberty EVER to explain to an ace person why their parents forced them into Therapy Specifically Designed To Convert Them Away From Asexuality (which may have a more efficient, shorter name). you dont know how that therapy worked or how the therapist worked because you werent there. you dont know that it was only because of homophobia so therefore this person has no right to claim their own trauma.

not everyone you hate is a cishet ace. don’t call people cishet aces unless you know for a fact they are cishet aces. i imagine you wouldnt want to call a trans lesbian a cishet, which exclusionists have done too many times for me to count. your platform should not be “you said something stupid and harmful, youre a cishet ace,” it should be “you said something stupid and harmful, end of statement.”

for some reason this is a controversial point in some discourse circles, but no one owes you sex. your partners don’t owe you sex. relationships do not equal sex. relationships do not even equal romantic love. relationships are a decision between multiple people on closer emotional intimacy.

if romantic and sexual aspects of a relationship are necessary for you, that’s understandable and okay! but you aren’t OWED that. people don’t need to out themselves as aro or ace for you. people dont need to feel pressured to give you anything they dont want to give. and you dont need to stay in relationships that dont make you happy.

allosexual privilege is not real. no one but white cishet men are 100% celebrated and privileged for experiencing sexual attraction. even white cishet women are oppressed for their attraction in many ways, and repressed from early childhood - so you can imagine how absolutely horrific sex-based oppression is for the LGBT community. we are not celebrated for sexual attraction, we are treated like we are dirty, and we are sexual predators.

WITHIN THE COMMUNITY, yeah, sometimes we are definitely, blatantly favored over aces, and people run around saying asexuality is unnatural, and sexual attraction is what makes us human. this is harmful and damaging, and it shouldn’t happen. i dont consider it systemic oppression and it definitely does not make allosexual privilege a thing.

calling people allosexuals is not something i condone. its not comparable to “cis” as a label, because cis people are an actual oppressor class towards trans people - non-ace LGBP folks are not towards ace people.

intracommunity bigotry is real and it is traumatic. people devalue it constantly and pretend it’s just a slap on the wrist, but it is an absolutely traumatic thing to have to face every day of your life. but it isnt the same as OPPRESSION, and we dont have to conflate the two concepts for intracommunity bigotry to be treated with the seriousness it deserves.

similarly, dont call people REGs unless they are not only aphobes but also truscum or TERFs. i also personally dont really believe in equating aphobes with truscum/TERFs but i dont believe in silencing trans people who openly talk about the similarities, either.

dont call people AERFs unless youre a trans woman holy shit

as someone who was directly affected by the truscum discourse when it happened [not debatable, by the way], this is pretty much recycled truscum discourse in my eyes. you dont need to lecture me on how its not.

just because someone on the “other side” called something you did ableist, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc., does not mean you get to shut your eyes and plug your ears. ESPECIALLY if you are part of a privileged class relevant to that accusation. for example as a white exclusionist you dont get to ignore the concerns of inclusionists of color or lecture them on the racism of the ace community. for example as a cis inclusionist [or honestly, even just a non-trans-woman inclusionist] you dont get to ignore the concerns of trans exclusionist women or lecture them on the similarities between TERFs and exclusionists.

“aspec” is not exclusively for the autistic community and i have NEVER seen claims that it was until ace discourse started. thats transparent as fuck to me and youre not fooling anyone. dont just make shit up lmfao

jokes about how Oh Lol Cringe aces inherently are, arent funny especially considering how many of these Jokes are steeped in anti-autistic ableism

idk when this happened but recently ableist jokes are the new Hot Topic of Comedy and thats like, mind-numbingly bad

i dont care what side youre on, IF YOU ARE USING THINGS LIKE FICTIONAL CP/PEDOPHILIC SHIPS/INCEST/RAPE CONTENT TO COPE WITH YOUR TRAUMA, YOU BETTER BE DOING THAT SHIT IN PRIVATE, ONLY SHARING IT WITH LIKE-MINDED, ADULT SURVIVORS, AND NEVER LETTING THAT CONTENT CIRCULATE OUTSIDE OF THAT GROUP. end of story. no ifs, ands or buts about it. speaking as a survivor who uses stuff like this to cope, being a survivor does not give you a free pass to, inadvertently or not, contribute to the pedophilia and circulation of grooming material on the internet. it is your RESPONSIBILITY as a survivor to not continue that cycle. if you avoid that responsibility, you have no right to play victim or pull the “im a survivor ;-;” card when people call you out on this.

educating kids on asexuality is not pedophilia, grooming or sexual abuse. jesus christ lmfao you dont have to assume people word it in a way thats inappropriate or predatory just because theyre pro-ace. kids NEED label/identity options, they are discovering who they are and without a label that fits for them, theyll likely feel like shit. let them have their labels. knowing about asexuality might greatly improve their life if it fits them!

for this reason, stop being weird about mogai labels/trying to “ban” them from everyone’s vocabulary/trying to turn them into some Cringe Joke that is only about Cishets Trying To Be Special. they didn’t fuck over EVERYONE.

inclusionists, in advising kids and questioning people who ask you for answers, be more open-ended. the insistence of “oh youre not a lesbian you’re a quioromantic demi-homosexual!” without also making it ok to just be a lesbian is what hurt and confused so many people on their journey to discovering their identity and its why they resent the whole mogai thing, fairly so. make it okay to just be a lesbian, or just be gay, or just be bi, or just be trans, while letting people know their other, more specific options.

asexuality is not an NSFW or TMI orientation

ace headcanons arent INHERENTLY homophobic, racist or ableist. they absolutely can be and ive seen that shit with my Own Two Eyes [pure innocent baby ace autistic papyrus headcanons back in the undertale fandom (shudders)], but they are not INHERENTLY so.

headcanons for characters with marginalized identity labels that arent identical to the ones you headcanon that character with are not oppression. and you dont get to police this shit as if its factually wrong

absolutely zero sexual interactions with minors ever, thanks!

trying to Bother The Pure Aceys by talking about sex is unacceptable

posting bullshit in ace positivity tags is unacceptable

stop calling people doing nothing but talking about their experiences “freaks”???

dont engage in the whole Oh There Are Valid Identities And There Are Special Snowflake Identities thing its not a very good look

biphobia is its own thing independent of homophobia

biphobia perpetuated within the community isnt necessarily systemic oppression but its traumatic and wrong and shouldnt be treated like some Lol Cringe Joke

you cant just say UM THAT LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENS???? when someone calls your side out on shit lgfkhghgfh especially when it literally does, all the damn time

ace [IRL person, whether or a celebrity or god forbid a flat out bigot] moodboards arent funny

you shouldnt agree to sex that you as an ace person dont want in a situation that you can control if the sex happens or not, but the pressure to provide sex to a non-ace partner is very real. stop blaming ace ppl for that pressure lol speaking as a victim of coercive sexual abuse, you cannot blame the one who didnt want it, even if they COULD have spoken up.

you’re not a bad person for wanting sex if your ace partner doesn’t. there is nothing immoral about not being ace. you just dont get to have sex anyway and you arent owed it if you are set on this committed, monogamous relationship - if sex is a big deal to you, you need to leave that relationship or work out an open situation.

laughing off peoples’ experiences as The Discourse is completely unacceptable, it encourages people to shut up and never analyze themselves and their identities

its not cute in your ace ship headcanons if the ace character is an asshole that rolls their eyes @ or judges their non-ace partner

similarly its not cute in your ace ship headcanons if the non-ace partner is an asshole that rolls their eyes @ or judges their ace partner

you dont get to tell people “ok you identify as heteroflexible but ACTUALLY you’re [insert identity]” literally ever, i understand the concern with people using “safe” identity labels to avoid facing their LGBT identities but acting on that concern in that way is not concern, its concern-trolling and its not fuckin okay.

legitimizing your own identity by delegitimizing the identities of others is bad

DO NOT, AND I REPEAT, DO NOT, BLANKET-TERM PEOPLE AS QUEER, LITERALLY EVER. DONT DO IT

DONT FUCKIN DO IT!!!!! NOT EVERYONE HAS RECLAIMED THAT SLUR, AND IT IS 100% A SLUR ON TOP OF BEING A CULTURE WITHIN THE COMMUNITY

JESUSS CHRIST DONT FUCKIGN DO IT!!!! WHEN YOU REFERENCE THE QUEER COMMUNITY YOU BETTER ONLY MEAN PPL WHO CALL THEMSELVES QUEER AND HAVE RECLAIMED IT/ARE PART OF THAT SUBCULTURE

we need more nonsexual, non-alcoholic spaces for LGBT folk that are safe for minors, trauma survivors and ace people, but thats not our fault, the prevalence of sexual and alcoholic spaces exists because we were literally not allowed to exist anywhere else until very, VERY recently, and even now it’s a Barely thing

you cant tell someone their experiences didnt happen like my god

we think ace discourse is about more than cishets because exclusionists make it about asexuality as a whole. you guys cant make it about more than cishets and then be like But Ok It’s Just About Cishets You IRrational Crazies?? :/

yes self harm through exposing oneself to the discourse tag is possible, no it’s not funny, no it’s not just ~cishets~doing that, triggers are not exclusive to PTSD survivors, shut the actual fuck up

you dont have any room to comment on the validity of quasiplatonic relationships if you’re not in one, most of the time you guys complaining about them and saying theyre Special Snowflake Things dont actually know what they are. mind your own business lol let people live

if youre not intersex, you dont get to tell people that the intersex community doesnt wanna consider itself LGBT, so they are wrong for saying intersex people are allowed to consider themselves LGBT. youre not being a good ally. sit down, shut up and let intersex people talk amongst themselves.

[to be added to at some point im sure]

asexuals STOLE dragons from CHILDREN to make themselves seem PURE AND INNOCENT, the MONSTERS

[rabbitindisguise]

Is it bad if I think that the reason I'm aroace really IS because no one likes me? When I was a kid, I used to get lots of crushes all the time. I crushed on at least half the people I met. But every time I got rejected (which was anytime I confessed attraction to someone), my attraction faded away more and more. Ever since I turned 15 many years ago, I realized I wasn't attracted to anyone anymore. And since I still don't have any takers, I guess it's just as well.

Is it bad to . . . identify as ace? Fuck no.

Maybe one third to one half the reason why I'm ace and aro is because I have social anxiety. I mean, I can offer some questions:

Does identifying as ace make you uncomfortable?

Do you wish you had a partner, but think it's unrealistic?

Are you pissed/upset/disillusioned/unpleasant emotions about getting rejected?

And the main question I can say to all that is: do you want to be ace?

Because the thing about being asexual is the identity has taken in a lot of people. AVEN's official stance has always been that asexuality is open to anyone that feels they benefit from the term. As a shorthand, as an umbrella, as a cover, whatever someone needs. That means aspec people, people that don't necessarily fit the definition of asexuality (little to no sexual attraction) but maybe have low libidos, or little sex for many other reasons. Fighting against the stereotype of unassailable aces, or aces that aren't mentally ill or have "other explanations" for their asexuality, has been a multi year process that I've always taken seriously. So the only real stance I can take on "is it bad to be ace" with regards to self identification is "fuck no." This identity is open to you regardless of your personal history, anon, no matter what that history is. It's up to you to pick it up, but if you choose it, it's yours for keeps.

And, ultimately, the entire narrative of your identity is up to you. It's not bad to "acquire" aceness, if that's what happened. It's also not bad to change your mind. It's also also not bad to decide that despite the evidence you were ace all along, or aren't ace now despite identifying as it for awhile, somewhere in the middle, or whatever else you want to say about yourself. There are a million possibilities and all of them are up for grabs here.

People may or may not accept these things like I will, but it's not your obligation to do or say or think things about yourself to satisfy them. Even me! Don't feel obligated to try and satisfy my questions with answers, even. They're just an attempt to help you clarify your own feelings for yourself, a process I am most definitely not a part of and can only chest on from over here

But if you want my ace-ssment as an ace™ that feels 0% conflictions or confusions about my aceness in case you do want to be ace and need a nudge to feel secure in your place in the community . . .

The line:

And since I still don't have any takers, I guess it's just as well.

really jumps out at me

Because I've talked to people who have gotten lots of rejections that are allo. Not saying you can't be one of them! But one thing I noticed was that rejection often . . . increased their desires? It might be a personality thing, and that I'm more likely to hear complaining from them over allos that have accepted their face and still ID as allo, but that's honestly just further proof you can do what you want. So if you do want to be ace, and you want some validation of that decision, I gotta say I don't typically hear "and then I felt less interested in the thing I wanted and didn't get" in any song about sex ever unless it was about slighted exes talking about a single instance of attraction. Correlations? Not causations. Sexuality can be fluid. Not bad at all to come into being ace through a less common narrative.

Hell, I lost my virginity long before asexuality was something I was using to describe myself. I've experienced sexual attraction more after identifying as ace than before I began to identify as ace. The world is chaos. May you have a cat, loved plant, or pal in some shape or form that can keep you company in the times ahead, because you sound rad as heck anon