#half of you know

[napping-sapphic]

take your clothes off and get on the bed what no we aren’t having sex right now we’re cuddling and pressing every inch of skin together as close as possible for the next six hours

[gongyussy]

deepthroating a gun without breaking eye contact...... he put his entire gongyussy into that | SQUID GAME 2

+ the video because the sound he makes when he puts the gun in his mouth? [redacted]

update: he improvised that. the man really said i'll go full slut.

[inbabylontheywept]

I was walking out of the Walmart today, and a car passed me, and I got this incredibly vivid impression. It wasn't really in words, but if I had to put it into words, the two key points would be

a). I needed to watch that car and

b). That I needed to be careful, because the driver of the car was a massive bitch.

It kind of took me by surprise, because I really had no reason to be beefing with that car, and I also hadn't really had an impression like that since I was religious, which was in my teen years. Right? It'd been a decade since I had a little voice whisper in my ear, and I'd basically written it off as nonsense.

Anyway, I watched the car, because The Spirits or whatever were very insistent that I did. Car drove fine, went into the parking spot, inched forward, and right when it should've just stopped, the driver gunned it for some reason and it ran into the curb and cracked its bumper.

So, the driver got out, and she went to the front of the car to check that yes, she had cracked her bumper, and then she turned to look at me. The parking lot wasn't empty, but we were the only two people standing in that row, and I'd probably been staring at her for tenish seconds now.

She demanded very angrily to know why I hadn't warned her of the curb. And I could have said I didn't know you were about to gun it or is it my job to help every stranger park, or even could you have even heard me, inside your car?

And all of those would have been fine, but I was really, really busy digesting that I had somehow communed with Mormon Jesus again for the first time in fifteen years, and that the communion had mostly been there to let me watch someone park badly (?), so what I responded with was:

"Because it was foretold."

And I can't tell which would be funnier, if she went silent because there's not much to be said to that, or if she went silent because in Utah, she might actually believe me, but we parted ways without more words.

I'm still kind of digesting this myself, actually.

[purpleangiie]

Damian: "Grayson, what are you staring at?"

Dick: "Sh!"

Tim: "Leave him be, D. He's emotional."

Damian: "Over what?"

Dick, staring at the two quiet figures in front of them: "Would you believe that? Jason and Bruce existing in the same space and not throwing a tantrum, but actually behaving like two adults? They're even working together at the same desk. Unbelievable."

Damian: "Wait, has father just ruffled Todd's hair?"

Dick: "And he didn’t even punched him back! I'm so proud of how far they both have come. *sniff* Now we could all be one happy family."

Damiam: *looking absolutely bewildered, gazing up at Tim who just shrugs*

Tim: "Give them 15 minutes."

Damian: "12."

---

Jason: "Bruce. Bruce WHERE IS MY PEN?"

Bruce: "Y-your pen, Jason?"

Jason: "Oh my god. You don't even remember it. My pen, Bruce. My personalized red and golden Montblanc you gifted me for my 14th birthday. I left it here, where is it? You threw it away, didn't you? LIKE YOU DID WITH ANY REGARD YOU EVER HAD FOR ME AND MY FEELINGS? DID YOU FORGET I WAS YOUR SON TOO? WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO LOVE ME?"

Dick: "Damn! We got so close."

Tim: "And that'd be 10 minutes and 35 seconds."

Damian: "-TT- Pay up, Drake."

[starii-void]

going to chb must be crazy like imagine sharing a camp with

-one of the strongest demigods ever who's saved the world like at least 3 times, fought multiple gods & titans and WON (and is a tartarus survivor)

-the literal main architect of OLYMPUS who's also saved the world multiple times (also tartarus survivor)

-THE lord of the wild who's also close friends with the first two (and has helped save the world multiple times)

-an emo kid from the 1930s who again helped save the world and is also a tartarus survivor (TWICE)

-a son of apollo who survived tartarus with nothing but cargo shorts and sheer will (pun intended)

-the main designer and builder for the argo II, also the first hephaestus kid to have fire powers since hundreds of years ago (did i mention killed gaea? no? yeah he did that too)

-a girl who somehow charmspeak-ed gaea into falling back asleep (also side note daughter of super famous actor because why not)

-pretty much everybody is a two-time war veteran

-THE GOD APOLLO who just sometimes comes down to visit in the form of a teenage boy

-did i mention dionysus, god of wine madness and theatre

-also chiron, trainer of pretty much every greek hero ever

[yuwuta]

whenever you and satoru have an argument, he holds your hand and he won’t let go until he’s certain you’re not mad anymore. you’re telling him off because he forgot to unpack the dishwasher again, and he knows that’s his fault and you have a right to be mad but he hates when you’re mad and even worse when you’re mad at him, so he does the first thing that comes to mind and laces your hands together. now you can’t leave and be mad at him alone, you have to be mad at him while he’s connected to you and satoru has learned that that far reduces the amount of time you spend mad at him. getting upset because he led you two in the wrong direction? holding hands until you’ve cooled down. upset with him for being reckless mid-fight? he drops his infinity just to be close to you, holds your hand and tells you the curse can wait, he needs your forgiveness more. mad at him because he forgot something important on his way home? you’re holding hands until you forgive him—which could be all the way until you go to bed, or dragging you by your connected hands with him to the store to pick up what was forgotten. you get irritated with him in public? he’s quick to hold your hands and beg for kisses. sometimes the first years see you steaming and satoru following you like a lovesick puppy, his leash being your laced fingers and megumi just sighs and explain to yuuji and nobara that, “they’re fighting. this is their get along tactic, just leave them be.” 

[zooophagous]

I wish people understood more that animals go through puberty just like people do, and that "teen" animals will have new and often unpleasant behaviors as they grow and try and figure out their place in the world.

Many of the animals I see being rehomed are right at the one to two year old mark, when maturity is still an ongoing process and their behaviors get more intense. Be patient with them! They DO grow out of it!

Aster was a holy terror until he was almost 3 and now he's the best cat I've ever owned. If you can't deal with these changes, adopt a mature animal instead of getting a puppy or kitten, because it's more likely than not they will have a turbulent teen phase.

[spitblaze]

I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

[emmg]

Imagine being one of Emmrich’s students.

You go back to Treviso to make sure your family is ok and you see your esteemed, mid-50s professor ziplining across the city rooftops like a complete maniac.

He’s jingling like a walking bazaar while he’s ziplining because apparently half of Thedas’s gold is hanging off him, and he’s casually hanging out with one of the deadliest Antivan Crows and some decades-younger absolute snack who is constantly batting their eyelashes at him.

How do you even attend his lecture after that

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Al Ghul Twins Quick Thought

Jason, visiting the manor the first time after Damian showed up: *does a double take* Where's the second one?

Damian, stopping in his tracks and looking him dead in the eye: Dead.

Jason, rolling his eyes but dropping the subject: Alright.

The entire Batfam:

[umblrspectrum]

3 years of this godforsaken show

[vistarya]

May I have this dance, Mrs Tims?

[mimimar]

my little one

(art prints)

[chalkrub]

some of the head coms from recently <:^) indefinitely still open for these !

[wiisagi-maiingan]

I love tornado survival guides. "Shelter in a basement or interior room without any windows. But if you're in a mobile home, just fucking die I guess lol"

[goopysloppyslobsop]

Tommy!! :)