#haha my poetry sucks

[slightly-awkward-sunshine]

My mother was too sick to kiss me goodbye.

But 1500 miles away, my hair

is still wet from her shower

and smells of her soap.

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

its so weird to read some of my old fics (do NOT do it but i'm just being hypothetical rn) and reading it. like who even was this person?? i completely was in a haze back in 2020. i literally was posting 3 chapters a day. A DAY. what in the WORLD was that shit.

anyway i remembered some STUPID sappy shit and i didnt remember if i'd put it into a fic or not BUT I FOUND IT.

She and Hope had been dating in secret for months anyway, and any attempt to go talk to Ryan only filed her disposition of displeasure upon knowing that she couldn’t tell anyone, Molly especially, it destroyed herself mentally. They couldn’t really go anywhere near the school, always having to lie to everyone about having projects together when Molly wasn’t around them. It’d consisted with 9 PM - 2 AM intervals of being able to actually see each other. Hope would sneak through her small bedroom window with a portable record player and whatever she had gotten from the vintage record store downtown, and Amy would always fall asleep around eleven because of her internal clock. She would always wake up to find a single sticky note stuck on the edge of her desk whenever she woke up to her alarm the next morning. One of them, Amy still had tucked inside of her phone case, a heavily detailed human heart, with blue and red ink sketched onto a neon pink sticky note, there was a caption that headed the small paper reading the phrase over every now and again makes her almost melt every time. “You have my heart.”

yeah idk why the fuck but i thought of this fucking idea again today and i was like "omg did i ever put that heart note thing in a fic???" yeah you fucking did.

all that to say ME AND WHO???? imagine. thats so fucking.... RAHHHH.

[skid-the-mighty-poet]

[pixie-ass]

Tim LaFlour x F!Coquette(ish) reader

Readers a girl in his english class, inspired by the scene of him reading Langston Hughes. They're opposites bc I think the opposite aesthetic trope is so damn cute.

I have a lot of ideas for this trope that I'll try to add!

Warnings - none except for fluff with my fav punk!

°•♡•°

Tim was not the best at poetry. Needless to say, english literature wasn't one of his strongest suits. That's why when the professor had assigned a very long, very taunting poetry book along with an analysis, he was fucked. Not only that but he didn't really know anybody in that class to ask for help and he was sure his roommate, Daryl, was as clueless as him.

As class was dismissed and all the students were beginning to leave, Tim packed his stuff up, sighing as he began to think. The class size wasn't big, so as people walked out, he looked around for anyone who seemed helpful, only to catch eyes with a particular girl.

He'd noticed her since the beginning of the semester. She always sat second row on the right and would never talk unless called on. He noticed all her supplies were a light shade of pink, which he thought suited her. She'd always dress with light colors too, very put together. Tim sat in the row behind her a few seats to her left so he'd always find himself zoning out on her, only because she stood out.

“Do you know how to do this?” He'd take his chance and ask her, she seemed so sophisticated taking notes everyday, he was sure she'd know what she was doing. Her eyes widened and she seemed to go from shock, to confusion, to acceptance all in the span of a second. “Yeah, we're just going through the book assigned and analyzing the poems. Pretty easy.” She smiled as she swung her backpack (light pink of course) over her shoulders.

“I got that, but I don't get it, like how we're supposed to analyze. I suck at this class.” She giggled in response, causing Tim's brows to knit in confusion, he couldn't find what was amusing. “It's pretty simple, if you want, I can help you.” She offered him a sweet smile that caused him to smile. He nodded, “Yeah, that'd be awesome! We can work in my dorm.”

She nodded, “I'm y/n by the way.” She offered her hand out for him to shake. He slipped his hand into hers, feeling her soft skin and admiring how well taken care of her nails were. “Tim! Nice to meet ya." He stared into her eyes almost dumbfounded as he shook her hand, a dumb smile plastered on both their faces.

------

A knock on the door startled Daryl as he sat in the living room, tense from the drug effects. Tim opened the door to his dorm, quickly walking over to the front door and opening it, “Hey! Welcome, welcome, you can make yourself right at home. My rooms over here.” Daryl raised a brow as he watched the very opposite girl walk in. Her light clothed and accessories a blinding contrast to everything Tim owned. It was almost comedic.

“We’re gonna be studying, dawg, so don't interrupt so we can get smart.”

“Yeah man, don't worry. You have fun.” He responded, a teasing hint in his tone.

As the girl walked into his room, she couldn't help but look around, admiring all the punk posters and dark themes. She stood out like a sore thumb. Her white sweater, blue jeans, and pink accessories were almost blinding in there. Tim noticed straight away, letting out a small chuckle as he shut the door. “You listen to any of them?” He asked, pointing to his various punk band posters. As expected, she shook her head, “No, haha. They look sick, though.” This caused Tim to smile as she set her bag down on the floor next to his bed. He motioned for her to sit, and she did.

Immediately, she began pulling out the poetry book and some paper. I guess she was here for business. Tim sat down across from her, getting his own stuff out. As she got a paper, she began explaining, Tim nodding in response as he listened. It seemed a hundred times easier to listen to her than the professor. After explanations he began to understand, they'd take turns reading poems out loud, analyzing, highlighting, and annotating what they agreed was important, (though it was mostly Y/n who would point out most and Tim would just agree since she seemed so pleased).

Tim noticed that when she would concentrate she would chew on the end of her pencil, her glossy pink lips attracting him like a moth to light. She had pretty lips and he couldn't help but stare at them, his own mouth seeming to slightly open as he stared until he had to catch himself multiple times.

After about 2 hours of this, they'd finished more than half the assignment, and they were both more than exhausted. It was nearly midnight. Yawning, y/n shut the poetry book, packing her papers into her folder. They hadn't chit chatted a lot, Tim didn't want to interrupt her focus so as they cleaned up Tim spoke up.

“So do you enjoy poetry? You seemed really into all the poems.” Y/n shrugged as she packed away the last of her things, “I guess I do. I like the beauty and emotion put into poems. They're really beautiful if you read them right.” Her response was said in a sleepy tone but was so sincere, Tim found himself feeling a sort of admiration along with a tingling in his stomach.

He smiled at her as she broke out into a yawn again. “You seem tired, we should get to sleep, eh.” He suggested standing up and fixing his bed to rest. She also stood up, stretching her body. “How fars, your dorm? I can walk you. It's pretty late, so I wouldn't want you to get spooked.” She giggled as he said it. Mostly, his tone was what made her laugh.

“It's all across campus, on the other side of the main hall.” His brows raised in concern. “That far? That's like a 10 minute walk.” He knew it wasn't far but she seemed so tired he wasn't sure if she'd even make it, she looked one blink away from knocking over like a leaf in the wind.

“You'd be better off staying here.” She raised a brow at his comment, a frown appearing on her soft face, “I'm not dumb enough to stay in a college guys dorm for the night. If you're thinking what you are, know I'm not the one.” Her sleepy voice was now stern as she headed for the door, her walk telling him that his comment had made her upset.

“Hey, hey. I didn't mean it like that. I promise! I'm on a no sex, drugs, or anything sinful pact so I swear I didn't mean anything that you're thinking.” He raised his arms up in defense, watching as she stopped and turned around, eyeing him.

“I was just saying, since you look so tired. I think it'd be better for you to just sleep here than walk all the way over there.” She stared at him in silence for a few long seconds.

She was only thinking it through so much since she really found Tim to be cute. Ever since she'd laid eyes on him as he walked in through the door mid-lecture, she'd felt her cheeks go pink. Something about the way he looked, or carried himself, or talked, it all fascinated her, and soon enough, she found herself crushing on him like a high school girl.

Sighing, she responded, “Okay, fine. But only because I really am so exhausted.” Tim's face seemed to go from upset to a beaming smile quickly. “Awesome! You can borrow one of my T-shirts if you want. And you can take the bed. I'll take the floor.” He exited the room after tossing a t-shirt onto the bed, leaving her a very flustered and hot mess. Her heart was racing as she lifted up the shirt he'd left for her. It was of a punk band. It smelled just like Tim. She blushed as she put it on. She blushed as she got into Tim's very soft and warm bed, blushed at how sweet it was for him to offer to sleep on the floor.

As she tucked in, Tim knocked, walking in after she answered and smiled down at the view of her covered in his blanket, completely bundled from neck down.

"Thank you for helping me by the way. Learned more from you then the professor, goodnight.”

He shut the lights off, and y/n heard as he shuffled on the floor. Looking down, she saw him lying with a comically small blanket and a decor pillow. Her heart raced in her ears as she decided if she should speak or not.

“You can sleep on the bed, Tim. It's your bed anyway, so I'd feel terrible if you slept on the floor.” She was also pitied by the sight of his tall figure under that poor excuse of a blanket. She heard him shuffle and next thing he was standing.

“You sure? Really, I'm alright sleeping on the good ole floor.” He chuckled.

“Im sure.” She scooted over to the other side, patting the bed. He didn't hesitate even a second as he tucked in beside her, far enough to not make her uncomfortable. As her eyes adjusted, she could begin to make out his silhouette in the dark. That's when she realized how close he really was, and she found a new found heat on her face. She went to cover her head with the blanket as if he could see her reddened cheeks.

“Tim.? You still awake?” She spoke softly under the covers. The soft ruffle of the pillow case sounded, “Yeah. What's up?” He whispered back.

Her hands seemed to tingle along with the butterflies in her stomach. She uncovered herself and moved her body so she could stare at him and him at her, he was already facing her direction though.

“Thank you for letting me stay, I didn't tell you, but it means a lot that you care.” She offered a sleepy smile as she stared into his face. He smiled back, and though she couldn't see it, she could see the outline of his cheeks when he did so.

“It's no biggie. Just the right thing to do. You tell me if you had a pretty girl in your dorm who was tired and lived far away that you wouldn't feel bad if she was alone.” His statement caused her to let out a small giggle into the sheets, which in turn caused her heart to flutter.

She scooted closer to him, not much, not enough to be noticeable in the dark but enough to where she could feel how warm he was, a huge grin spread across her face. "Goodnight, Tim…" Her eyes were far too heavy to keep open now, she shut them, and without a thought cuddled into Tims side causing him to freeze.

He slowly looked down at her, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest, her closed eyes and her features. Gently he wrapped his arm around her, feeling her shift closer to him, his heart ramming against his chest. She was so small in his arms, so warm, he felt himself leaning into her head, resting his head against the top of hers, caressing her back as she slept. He wasn't sure why he was doing this or why he felt so much in his gut.

All he knew was that he was happy, holding her and admiring her. That he was feeling far too much all at once.

He'd have to talk to her about this tomorrow. His emotions would be the death of him.

[laneynoir]

I chose sparring before I realized it had to be honerable... Oops. Still my first choice, I'd love a closer look at his fighting style. And I might last a bit at least ;D

[solitaryandwandering]

A Ramble: Love in the Big City Eps 1-2

I just watched episode 2 of Love in the Big City and I am... reeling. Cried when Kim Nam Gyu died, when Yeong and Mi Rae sang together at the wedding, cried at the crushing ending line. I loved the direction in these two episodes; one of the reasons I was super excited to watch this was because they're switching up the directors for each part. Such a cool way to signal transitions in Yeong's life. Now that I've seen the caliber Son Tae Gyum operated at I'm intrigued to see how direction will affect the next parts. Maybe I'll write up a thing about that in the end, but I'm hopeful others will as well! I am chomping at the bit to read the book, seriously!!

I have to mention first what a BALLSY move it was for them to open on Yeong's tryst with a man who was cheating on someone currently in the military. And he walks in the door, STILL IN UNIFORM. What a fucking slap in the face to hegemonic masculinity!!

After this first part what I am really lingering on are two things: queer loneliness and heteronormativity's relationship to misogyny. I'm just gonna put down my half-baked thoughts, I don't have the time or spoons to formulate coherent sentences haha

Though I saw Nam Gyu's death coming just based on vibes in the first episode, its impact wasn't lessened. Its significance didn't really hit me until I saw how empty his funeral was. Loneliness shaped his life - repression, liberation in meeting another gay man, falling in love with him way too fast, forming a dependent attachment, his desperation/obsessiveness in losing it so abruptly. He expressed his queerness in his photography, voyeuristic and seeking closeness with his subjects in the only way he felt was available to him. He had no friends, no relationships outside of his with Yeong. When Yeong breaks up with him and when he visits him drunk in ep 2, he says "falling in love is not a sin." To me, this shows just how removed from a loving community he has been, how nascent his queerness. He's still processing homophobia, it still influences every move he makes, everything he thinks. Clearly he has not had close relationships with other queers, where he may feel free to unburden himself. He falls back on heteronormative performance of romance, searching the best places for dates, not having anyone to ask. Knowing he's older makes this hurt more.

His story brought to mind the futility of AIDS-related deaths in the U.S., to be honest. I lost my gay uncle before I even knew him, and I know no one from his life. I know it's not a perfect parallel, but that funeral... this emptiness carries beyond one queer person's death. And Yeong's journey in these two episodes is about queer loneliness, of course. But his story is not as tragic as Nam Gyu's. He has (amazing) queer friends, and at one point had Mi Rae. He is much more connected to the queer community than Nam Gyu ever was. Despite his immaturity, Yeong is also much more familiar and comfortable with his queerness. I imagine this thread of self-actualization in the face of loneliness will continue in the rest of the show.

@twig-tea and @poetry-protest-pornography also wrote about queer loneliness in this show: here and here

And then we have Mi Rae, a vitally important relationship in Yeong's life, the love this part of the story is about. I met my best friend in college as well, so this part of the story was bringing up a lot of feelings too. To me, their friendship was as much about navigating heteronormativity as anything else, reflected in Yeong's reflection that "she learned that being a gay man sucks, and I learned that being a woman sucks just as much." Mi Rae is impacted by misogyny in every step of her character's journey: male classmates labeling her a slut and claiming her body for theirs, being groped, her challenges obtaining an abortion and mistreatment by a male doctor (where she literally claims her uterus back), her conflict with her parents (I'm assuming her mother had very rigid ideas of what a woman should be, based on her behavior at the wedding), hiding her past from her boyfriend, forced to defend herself when he questions why she lives with a man, shutting herself off from her relationship with Yeong (and thus rejecting her past) after the wedding. I looked up the status of abortion in Korea (a legal gray zone) and was reminded of how badly women there have it, which provided more context for her behavior.

Yeong must also traverse heteronormativity, which is what ultimately drives a wedge between the two and ends their friendship. In the beginning, their mutual rejection of heteronormative scriptures is what brings them together. He stands up for her against those male classmates, in an interaction steeped with assumptions of his heterosexuality. In rejecting her objectification he made himself a pariah for refusing to participate in normative masculinity. And their relationship continues thus, with her promising never to out him. She betrays him in a moment where she feels her participation in normative heterosexuality is threatened (and, indeed, it is a legitimately precarious position to be put in as a woman). Their brief reconciliation mainly consists of Yeong participating in a heterosexual ritual - he has no access to marriage in Korea. Her singing with him and letting go of her inhibitions for one last time was her goodbye to him and her ultimate acceptance of a more heteronormative life. One he can't participate in.

I hope that made any lick of sense. So looking forward to watching the next week. I am holding myself back from watching the next episodes right now. So hard.

[sajra-savera]

₊˚‧︵‿꒰୨ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 ୧꒱‿︵‧˚₊

(previously : @duh-nik)

   ⚘( ၴႅၴ     𝅄    𝆬      ׅ         𝅄    𝆬      ׅ         𝅄     𝆬      ׅ   𝅄    𝆬⚘( ၴႅၴ

  𝆬      ׅ         𝅄    𝆬      ׅ  ⚘( ၴႅၴ   𝅄     𝆬   ׅ     𝅄 

Hii, it's Nikita, this side!

You can call me Nikki, Nik or anything else you'd like!

I'm an INFJ-A, currently pursuing a bachelor in CS major.

Age : 19

Nationality : Indian

Languages I'm comfortable with : Hindi, English, Gujarati, Korean (-> in the sequence of my fluency)

Hobbies : Travelling, Writing, Reading, Editing, Doing sports, Checking out new music, movies, series, etc.

Artists I'd sell my soul to listen to live once : Prateek Kuhad, Arijit Singh, BTS, Shreya Ghoshal, Måneskin, Twice, Taylor Swift, etc.

Books that are most precious to me : The kite runner, Little women, HP series etc.

Movies that live in my heart rent free : Barfi, YJHD, Laila Majnu, HP Series, Howl's moving castle, Tamasha, The sky is pink, Me before you etc.

I'll post here literally any random thought that appears in my brain at 3 AM so expect the posts to be a bit unhinged haha. I'll also post some kind of poetry stuff or extracts from books written by me. Though, I won't post the books here itself. I might do it in the future if I change my mind idk hehe. And if I'm motivated enough, I'll post updates about my academics from time to time too. Though I'm afraid that'll just majorly be me ranting about how the education system sucks.

And I love love love getting to know people so feel free to drop in and leave a text anytime! It can be anything as simple as a 'hey', a rec, or even a rant.

 ၴႅၴ     𝅄    𝆬      ׅ   𝅄    𝆬      ׅ   ⚘( ၴႅၴ      𝅄     𝆬     ׅ𝅄 𝅄    𝆬  𝆬      ׅ   ⚘( ၴႅၴ  𝅄    𝆬      ׅ     𝅄     𝆬   ׅ  𝅄 ⚘( ၴႅၴ

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Oh nooooo somebody stole my Aidlyn/Ashden headcanons so now I have to write more ... ✨️

(SORRY IM SPAMMING THE TAG 😭😭😭)

Some of these are based on my dad because he has bpd and he really reminds me of Aiden.

-His sense of humor is so broken like. Probably makes "that's what she said" and "your mom" jokes. Ash thinks he is the unfunniest person alive 🤡 and she STILL laughs at him (but never when he's trying to be funny). I think he'd be on Vine a lot lmao. He would laugh at that video of the bread slice falling over no cap.

-Aiden Clark, Professional Doomscroller. Maybe an itty bitty bit addicted to social media cuz "omg easy dopamine hit" even if he doesn't post a lot. Would prolly be chronically on TikTok if he was a teen today 🤡 Ash WILL steal his phone and hide it so they can "do something productive" (which alternates between her trying to teach him basic life skills to him falling out of a tree because they went outside for five minutes)

-her parents also gave him a truly awful shovel talk. He came out of it, kneeled in front of her, and said if he broke her heart to kill him before her parents did 💖 Tyler and him bond about their "scary in laws", although he has a better relationship with Mike and Emma than Tyler does with Mary and James 🤡

-convinced her to go to prom because "free food" and managed to wrangle out a slow-dance from her. He already likes dancing, SHE likes dancing...he wants to dance together ^_^

-She really likes his normal smile, when he's not forcing it. He takes good care of his teeth, so he's got a real bright smile :)

-Aiden tried to teach her how to skateboard a few times. She can...stand on it without falling off and roll around, but no tricks lol. Ash still thinks it was just an excuse for him to grab her hands or waist while she was balancing.

-Some problems in the relationship: they are not very good at communicating how they feel, so there's a lot of misunderstandings between them unless the gang intervenes haha ":D Sometimes Ash feels very suffocated by him and she really dislikes his apathy towards himself, and Aiden sometimes feels like Ash doesn't care about him nearly as much as he cares about her.

-his depressive episodes alternate between "I'm just gonna lie here and hope I die" to "actively trying to self destruct", sometimes he might go on a binge (overdosing on his meds, and when he's older he might sometimes drink too much or go on really dangerous joy rides, he's an awful driver), they really freak Ash out :( Recovery is a very long road with no end destination. She's trying to get better at reassuring him and he's trying to...just get better.

-both of them suck at remembering their anniversary 🤡 Aiden is a littleeeee bit better

-They have a knife collection they share ❤️

-he has her as "love of my life 💖✨️😍" on his phone contacts and has a special ringtone for her and everything. Absolutely not embarrassed about it, Ash...definitely is 💀 (she has him as "Aiden")

-sends her really bad poetry he wrote for her because writing his feelings down by himself is easier than saying it in the moment. Ash keeps all of them in a shoebox in her closet.

-she's not really good with touching and stuff but she feels better touching him, like a good stim. Really likes holding his face (no eye contact). Also enjoys him holding her hand.

-Secretly a little insecure about how she looks. She has never really thought about it before because she never cared about it, but now, in a relationship, she's kinda self conscious about him perceiving (read: constantly staring) her. She's very short and thin (even with muscles from ballet and training) and feels like a "late bloomer." Aiden thinks she's the closest thing to physical perfection that exists and will tell her this constantly ^_^

-She actually likes how he smells (grâce à: his really expensive soap lmao) but she would die before telling him lol

-The first time she kissed him her brain kinda shut off and she just squished their faces together while puffing her cheeks up. He bust out laughing and completely murdered the mood 💀 They'll figure it out...eventually

[definegodliness]

Hi, I write my own poetry and I'm trying to figure out which #tags get most interaction on here to promote what I create. I've tried a number of Poetry based tags but I was wondering if others work better. Any help/guidance greatly appreciated, thanks

I actually suck at the social media part of tumblr as well. You can see it by the tags I usually use under my poems, it's scattergun approach. Just tagging the shit out of it and hoping for the best. I don't know what I'm doing, but that's probably not the help/guidance you need haha

Anyone else on here got any tips?

[quinnyundertow]

Can I ask what got you into writing? I love your writing style and I'm so curious about your process as well.

This is such a sweet ask. I love it. This may be way more than what you were expecting haha. But I’m alone in the hospital and this feels cathartic.

I’ve always loved to write since I can remember. When I was in elementary school I remember getting yelled at and crying because I had to write a story about a thanksgiving turkeys adventure and mine was like twenty pages. They said it was too long and hurry up and I was frustrated because I wasn’t done!

I think what really solidified my love for writing is I needed fantasy to escape. In middle and early high school my parents divorced and I was bullied relentlessly. Gum put in my hair, things thrown at me, called fat at every opportunity. I had teachers that bullied me too for being fat. I was SA’d multiple times, depressed and started cutting. I’ve honestly tried to block most of it out.

The point is I had found anime and a few friends who loved it too. So any opportunity I had I begged friends to do writing journals with me. We’d make up a crack fic plots then write self insert and pass a notebook back and forth between classes every chapter for the next person to write. We wrote for Yugioh, Naruto, Dragonball Z, Fruits Basket popular ones at the time. I also wrote poetry, fanfics and original stories to try and escape anyway I could. Writing was the highlight of my teenage years. But other than that it was hell and you could never pay me enough money to repeat them.

I dropped out of Highschool from the bullying and my depression. But I studied and took a test for Highschool equivalency and then went to college and got straight As. College is nothing like Highschool. No one cares what you do. At least in my experience. I wanted to be a writer or manga artist but my father told me I wasn’t good enough and I wish I wouldn’t have taken it to heart and listened. I stopped writing for like ten years except for periodic ideas in notebooks until this last November.

Jujutsu Kaisen had become my comfort anime and then chapter 236 happened. I was so depressed I decided to try and read fanfics again. I’ve always read a lot of published books and was staggered to see a ton of fanfic writers were just as good if not better than published writers. After reading a ton of amazing works I decided I needed a fix it story that was ultimately happy for JJK and here we are.

Sorry if this was boring or too much. But if you take away something from this take this. Life is always changing. Tomorrow will not be the same as today. That much is guaranteed. If you have nothing left to live for then you have nothing to lose by trying something crazy or new. I was broken down to nothing by bullies, family issues, mental and physical health and I was incredibly suicidal. Somehow I found the will to try again. I got on depression and anxiety medication (still on to this day), worked for a higher education and took a shitty paying job to claw my way back up. My life is far from perfect but despite everything I worked hard to now have a boss babe high paying career and after restarting writing and meeting you all I’ve never been happier.

As far as a writing process I pretend I’m not going to post what I write and write it just for me. I ask myself what do I think would be the coolest thing to happen? What would I want to see next? Then I write it. Most of the time it sucks, or I don’t feel like writing it but I force it out. I make myself sit for 15 minutes and just write something. Then I rewrite it. Keep what parts I liked toss what feels off. Repeat. Eventually I’m having fun and loving the process.

When rewriting I’ll name them things like WICYG Chapter 12.2 for the second rewrite etc. I’ll screen shot my google doc so you can see the insanity haha. Sometimes I’ll rewrite four plus times. At the end of the day I want to love what I write and do it for me. Then when I find people that like it too it makes me over the moon happy. I hope one day to have the confidence to write my original stories in my head out. Writing fics for yall has definitely helped build my confidence as a writer.Thanks again for the ask anon sorry for the life story but I’ve never told people all that and it was healing to get out.

My messy google docs 🥹 Madhouse is Sanity Last Stop lol.

[rowanisawriter]

5 & 44, I want to hear your hot takes lol

thank you bestie!!

answering these fic asks here!

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

haha ok so i dont like when characters are woobified…. or watered down…. like sometimes people make gortash into a softer character than he really is, or ignore gale’s ambitious nature, idk. like some characters really do have darkness in them and when it’s taken out in fanfics i do end up clicking out unfortunately lol.

also i don’t like nameless characters, when i read something that is character/oc, i want to read a real oc that belongs to someone that loves them haha hope that makes sense 😭

44. Rant about something writing related.

i love rhythm in writing. prose like poetry, alliteration, metaphor, PERSONIFICATION!! i love when fics read like poems it’s my favorite thing. i try to write like this and i get sucked in whenever i find writers that write like this 😭

also i like when writing is WEIRD. play with timelines, write scenes out of order, switch tense to make a point, dream sequences, make it weird i love weird!! fic is all about taking risk and experimenting, there are no rules so i love doing it and i love discovering writers that do this!! lol

[ollieflopkins]

15 Questions, 15 Friends

Tagged by @kraeki tysm babe 🥰

Are you named after anyone? My mom used to teach preschool and her favorite student’s name was Lacey. My middle name is a family middle name!

When was the last you cried? While I was reading my vows at my wedding last week hehe

Do you have kids? No but maybe one day idk 🤷🏼‍♀️

What sports do you play/have you played? Was a football kid from age 5-15 (was a brick shithouse CB/LB) and then I quit football to play tennis in high school. I am MUCH better at tennis than I am at football lol. I also swam in hs and rowed in college (5 seat best seat) and now I like to do yoga and walk mostly.

Do you use sarcasm? I do, but I’m getting better and reading when it’s appropriate and when it’s not. I like to communicate clearly and not be condescending as much as possible.

What is the first thing you notice about people? HEIGHT and hair and smile. Then sense of dress. Although to be clear none of that matters if their personality sucks and they’re unfunny lol

What is your eye color? Blue/grey

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings 💯 I don’t like scary movies or really any horror. I like psychological thrillers and such but I don’t like violence/body horror/gore in film at all and avoid it as much as I can.

Any talents? I’m very musical (I can sing, play guitar, keyboard, drum, read music, etc), I can write, uhhh I’m good at taking to new languages, uhh I’m kind of good at a lot of things but an expert at nothing really

Where were you born? The US!

What are your hobbies? Watching football, going to football matches, talking about football…lol yoga/dance class, spending time with friends and my husband, listening to music, walking, learning German/taking adult German class, writing, reading, playing video games, whatever strikes my fancy at the moment. I can have fun doing pretty much anything

Do you have any pets? Two dogs!

How tall are you? 5’9”, like 175cm?

Favorite subject at school? English!

Dream job? No dream job I wish I didn’t have to participate in society in a way that exploits me! I’m a staunch anti-capitalist so my dream job is (post collapse of capitalism) taking care of young people like I do now but we’d all like…garden and go on hikes together and read and write poetry and I wouldn’t be coaching them on how to like…take standardized tests lol. Or maybe I’d be a farmer and take care of cows.

✨✨ Okay haha I always try to not double up too much on tagging people who have already been tagged in these games 😂 no pressure but if you want to participate @kloppinthekop @mebiselfandi @jarellquansah @erlingshaalands @endowataru @curiousthyme @thicctorhugo @shob-chop-lai @photmath @lastpenaltytaker @antspaul @liverpool-enjoyer @walkon-throughtherain @brinywxter @trentione

[the-grand-av3]

the clock stopped ticking forever ago how long have I been up? I don't know. i cant get a grip but I can't let go there wasn't anything to hold onto though

Poetry!

Careful Al last time you said that you got sliced in half

Haha, very funny.

is this another reference

Yeah it is-- WAIT

ITS A TV HEAD I KNEW IT WAS AHAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO COOL THWY LOVE ME IM COOLER THAN YOU

Suck my dick and die

Cus it's poisonous and infested with warts?

DIE

[sassmar]

ten books to know me

ohhhh tysm for the tag molly @mblematic my beloved !! <3<3 this looks so fun except that now. you will all know what created my twisted brain ah well. alas!

the outsiders by s.e. hinton haha had to start with this one! read the outsiders for the first time at like 11/12 yrs old and it was truly truly formative! PONYBOY! SODAPOP! johnny and dally!! also it's quite gay.

a separate peace by john knowles continuing with the themes of male friendship, homoerotic subtext, and books i read in middle school that fundamentally altered my brain chemistry and turned me into the freak i am today or whatever.

lord of the flies by william golding look i know the ~*~mOrAL*~*`! is arguably misanthropic/malthusian/whatever but also. forget about that. it is very gay thats all that matters. and it is ANOTHER book that i first read in middle school and then immediately reread like at least three more times bc it made me absolutely feral. also . . . . . . sucks to your assmar!!

stoner by john williams :) this one has nothing to do with weed (it is about sad academics) and also i did not read it until my twenties but. i did write like forty-five pages about why it is secretly gay! (also it is starkly beautiful and very heart-rending, i do love a book that digs around in my organs and squeezes mercilessly like a toddler playing with slime.)

the waves by virginia woolf finally a book that isnt gay JUST KIDDING it is in fact also a lil gay but mostly it's just fucking beautiful. possibly the most beautiful novel i've ever read idk, hard to say and its not a quick read but like. read it for the first time in high school and have returned to it a number of times since then and. her prose my GOD. its a novel but also a poem, just a very long love poem to .... everything ....

fun home by alison bechdel technically it's a gRapHiC nOvEL and i only read it for the first time about a year ago but. have reread it since and it continues to haunt me istg this memoir is STUNNING the most gorgeous graphic novel & most gorgeous memoir i have ever ever encountered. an actually brilliant piece of literature in every right. makes me sob. (also, yes, it is very gay.)

the heart is a lonely hunter by carson mccullers well i HAD to include carson mccullers on the list dear god!! also so formative...read this book for the first time in high school, have returned to it a number of times since. it is. truly beautiful !!!!!! what else can i say <3.

who's afraid of virginia woolf by edward albee this is in fact a PLAY (!!) also an amazing movie but. i have read the play many many times it is SO funny, SO smart, SO painful. who needs whips when you and yr partner are. mentally torturing each other for sport. another one i read for the first time as a teen so again.... rather formative.

lolita by vladimir nabokov all right well honestly i read this for the first time in high school and enjoyed it, especially part one, thought it was smart n funny n that part two was kinda all over the place but still yknow overall felt positively about it. BUT. gave it a reread last year and jesus CHRIST i was just like !! i missed SO much !! it is not only so goddamn beautiful but SO much more complex and brilliant than i ever picked up on as a teenager my god. the prose is like the most intricate beautiful renaissance painting and the plot is like the most infuriatingly complicated game of CHESS but. it's ?? the product of a genuinely brilliant mind ?? idek but i will probably read this book at least five more times before i die its just. wow.

the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater HAHA copied you molly !!!!!! :) :) devil emoji etc. thought about choosing a book of poetry or just something else Literary but like, i recognize this list is already pretty full of Boring Classic Literature and such so i guess i can loosen my corset or whatever and say. these goddamn ya books. SPECIFICALLY the dream thieves (you are so right!) but also just the series generally jfc. i thought i hated ya but these books have changed me and everything i thought i knew about myself ....... maggie writes such poetic sentences...... "his exposed shoulder was raw and beautiful as a corpse" JESUS FUCKING !! only just read these like six months ago or something but they have utterly rewired my brain chemistry and maybe shifted the entire trajectory of my life so. i cannot. i cannot even. <3

oh shit i forgot to tag ppl um @billsfangearring @forlorngarden @shipsnsails @everythingbutcoldfire @colgatebluemintygel @perverse-idyll no pressure whatsoever xx

[justaboymadeofhoneyandglass]

hey!!

so, i was just curious. um. this may sound dumb. but. how did u know u have synesthesia? do u get synesthesia only when u hear things? i'm just curious. not to come off as ignorant tho.

also: are u an artist?

one more thing: which is ur fav view, like with synesthesia?

also: this is stupid: were u born with it?

um also: what do u see when u hear ur name?

also: is ur condition annoying to u? does it create hurdles in ur day-to-day activities?? like when u study, can't u listen to music cuz u see shapes and stuff? which distracts u?

um one last thing: ur follower event looks really different from everyone else's i've seen, looks real cool. um kudos to that i guess.

um thanks for answering! (if u choose not to, it's fine, these are ridiculous questions even i know)

Hii! Dw about asking so many questions I love talking about my synesthesia, and you're not coming off as ignorant, it's not smth that a lot of ppl know a lot about so dw

My main clue was when I started telling people what colour they were to me and they went what the fuck do you mean by that and I juts thought oh so that's not a thing for everybody? Cool I guess. that was about two years ago and since than I've figured out so so so much stuff about this haha

Yup i would say I am, im not the best at realistic drawing but my brain has too many ideas to not do some off them, I usually draw very abstract because that's how my synesthesia works, but I also sometimes do scenery mixed with it because my brain is rlly rlly associative, like it associates everything with everything so that's what I draw hehe

I'm also a poet and a writer, although the only stories I actually write nowadays are fanfictions 😅, I do write a lot of poetry still, mostly to deal with life or express my love for things or ppl *cough* @aesthetic-writer18 *cough*

My fav view? Bit confused by the question haha /lh if this means like favourite colour associated with smth I could not decide for the life of me haha

I really like the colours of some songs,

This one the most rn I think!

Yup I was born with it! It's a neurodiversity, so you can't have it and not be born with it. some people think they have synesthesia because they have like 5 or 6 associations, there's not rlly a rule for how much it needs to be but I think those ppl are bullshit, cus most ppl have some sorts of taught associations that are not synesthesia lol

my name for me is kinda light brown with yellow and red! Well my chosen name is, my deadname is light pink with red in it lol

I usually don't rlly associate a lot of stuff with myself or things about myself but the name James I took form James potter so that influences how I see it lol

Hmm, I wouldn't say it annoys me, but it does create some difficulties:

Some people I dislike don't have colours at all, or they have a rlly annoying or ugly colour, I know a girl whose voice is the most skin crawling shade of purple ish red it's so fucking annoying I can't stand to be around her

the music thing does happen, I usually try to listen to music that doesn't trigger my synesthesia a lot (which limits the possibilities a lot) and also doesn't trigger my maladaptive daydreaming but that's a whole other thing

One thing about my synesthesia is that when I think too much about it or concentrate on the associations too much I get a rlly bad headache which sucks lol

Thanks a lot! It's largely based on my synesthesia hehe I rlly like it!!

Thanks for the askkk!

[halfdeadwallfly]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers✨

!!! (I realized too late this is five things, ten ppl :(((( sorry abt that one.... Feel free not to read but I wanted to talk abt them haha )

My acappella group--- I was in a lot of groups and things in high school, and I listened to a lot of sentimental graduation talks about people finding their home and their family in those places. It always made me so sad, because I never did. But even though I'm not close friends with everyone in acappella now, I already feel so much more comfortable and at home with it already than I ever did in high school. I love the people all so much, and I'm so happy to be around them every time we go to rehearsal and every time we perform. Being in acappella has been the highlight of my year honestly, and I'm so grateful for it. I love the music, I love to direct and lead and sing, and the people are just so so so kind. Genuinely. Even when I feel anxious or stressed or I feel like I need to hide, I know that I can work through it, because I really just trust that outside of my own social anxiety, these people are kind and genuine. I love them so much and being around them makes me so happy.

Making flower chains -- pure pure fun. Can do anything you like during. Or nothing. Listen to a podcast. Listen to the buggies. Like down. Run around. Frolick. I love finding a good patch of flowers with long stems, esp if there's multiple kinds, and just really investing myself in them. You can find little buggies and greet them and love them so much when you are in the grass and such, and it is super nice to see them all. My favorites are rolly pollies but I also like snails and slugs a lot and also I think ants are cute and beetles and worms so I always try to help out the worms if they get lost

Writing poetry -- very good to do, do not always recommend rereading. Do recommend taking poetry 1 with [redacted] at my school bc he is the greatest and so kind and helpful. I love writing poetry even if it does make me hate myself for being too pretentious sometimes. Sometimes I like what I write and it is nice to talk about with people and get thoughts and opinions

Reading abt gender theory -- Genuinely life-changing thing taking that intro to wgss class this year lolollll. Maybe it is silly of me, but that class really made me rethink myself and where I want to go with my life. There's so much more that I want to read and learn and I'm almost anxious that I can't do it fast enough

Looking at the stars and clouds -- a good one. It makes me happy. I am very small. Sky is beautiful like art. It's the same and it's never the same. I'm getting tired sky is still up there. Space is very very very cool. Clouds are very very very cool

Cicadas -- BEAUTIFUL CREATURES!!!!! they have been so loud this year and I had to wear headphones outside while watering the plants for a while, but I also get to see all of them out there!!!!!!!!!! And different kinds too!!!! They are so beautiful and lovely and it makes me so happy to see them and hear them too most of the time. When I was little they would always be dying under the trees at recess and the boys would mess around with them when they couldn't fly away, so I had to go make them stop so they wouldn't be dying while being tormented by ten year old boys. I was always very mad when they did that and I'm always still super sad to see cicadas in the midst of dying when they can't fly anymore. But I love their singing and their songs and their nice nice eyes, and I like to pick them up if they let me and have them crawl all over my arms because their legs are sticky and nice. They're the prettiest little bugs and I love them

Melted brie cheese -- yummy.

Putting on pajamas after work -- I work in a warehouse with no ac which is ok but kinda sucks in the summer, esp when it's super humid like it is now where I am. I also package coffee that often is flavored with really strong syrups, and is often ground, so I almost always leave work smelling intensely like pancake syrup (less nice than it sounds after nine hours) and covered in gritty coffee. It's a good job and I like it a lot actually, but boy by the end of a day when the temperature is high, it's super tiring. When I get home I just take off all my work clothes and turn off the lights and lie in the dark, and it's so nice and calming and I really love getting to do that, and relax into a calm cool late afternoon.

Drinking coffee with real cream -- Aka. super duper yummy. I get to work before everyone else in the morning, so I make the first coffee pot and I always make me and the other early packaging person's fav blend, and it's basically my favorite part of the morning, watching the sun rise while the coffee brews and coming back to my work area to greet the morning window spiders. At home in the summer, I love making iced coffee with milk and adding just an eeeeensy bit of cream, it's so tasty and it makes it all nutty and buttery and rich, and it brings out all the good flavors.

Listening to podcasts -- thank you podcasts you make me so happy. Right now thank you tanis for driving me insane and thank you wolf 359 for helping me feel calm and safe when I'm stressed. Special thank you to zach valenti because his voice in particular is like really soothing and anyway that sounds weird but like you know what I mean. Past thank you to potterless for getting me into podcasts and referring me to the bright sessions, which was the first audio drama I listened to and got sooo into. Special thank you to lauren shippen for being like my favorite podcaster ever oh my gosh, and honorable mention to briggon snow for being in so many of those lauren shippen related shows. Thank you wtnv for coming near me so I could see the attic. Thank you to literally every show I've listened to. Basically everybody in my life thinks the podcast thing is kinda weird and laughs a bit when I get too into it, but honestly this is like. A really important thing to me now. I love podcasts a lot and they make me very very happy to get to listen to