#had to scratch out my notes
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Funny sketch I made at work, I love how dead Shaggy looks on the top.
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Released to [REDACTED]. SPK 02-04-10 6:45 PM
also released:
3 - One (1) sealed bag s/c cigarettes & lighter which were found in right exterior vest pocket of unnamed male accomplice.
4 - One (1) sealed bag s/c polaroid photo which was found in left interior vest pocket of unnamed male accomplice.
Note: victim posthumously identified as one Mail Jeevas, DOB 02/01/1990 (aged 19yrs at time of death). Request that Gevanni update documentation accordingly. - N
always thinking about the polaroids matt and mello didnt get to take + the amount of clean up and paperwork near and the SPK probably had to do after they seized all the kira case files from 'L'... also like. do you think near had to identify matts body. who else was there that couldve done it. anyway whatever teehee <3
+ 'clean'(er) version without all the scratches and stuff:
#death note#mellodramattic#mellomatt#mihael keehl#mail jeevas#my art#full color#posts only show up in the first five tags right... whatevs thats plenty#literally based the caption off an evidence release related to the jfk assassination so if i wrote the documentation out wrong no i didnt!!#anyway. theyre trans + in love + deserved to take cute photos of themselves#and whenever i added the frame iwl ohhh. theres only one person who COULD have this picture. which is when i decided to add the blood stain#i PERSONALLY dont think matt and mello were in contact until after mells left lidners hotel but we can pretend. for the sake of the art#re: the date on the photo + mello not having his scars i mean#also mello is a type o negative fan you CANNOT change my mind its so real to me. i Know It. anesthesia is ON my mellodramattic playlist#obviously ref'ed from that one GQ shoot w jesse rutherford and devon carlson... idk them but i LOVE those photos theyre so fun#i need to look up more of taylor rainbolts photography bc i feel like theres a looot of potential insp to be had there for my work#ANYWAY! theres a plain-er version under the cut if u wanna see it w/out as many overlays and scratches and such#im so glad 2 be done w this piece i have been working on it on and off since. NOVEMBER OF 2022...#ITS AUGUST OF 2023 NOW. I DRAW AT A NORMAL SPEED DW ABOUT IT <3#death note spoilers#<--- for my beloved nat
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thinking about writing a jmart fic inspired by my original story. would y'all read it or nah
#the storys about a woman who finds herself in this weird ass forest#where the longer youre there the more it strips you of your identity#until all that remains is your core motivation#your bare essentials#and it warps your body to better reflect that#like i have a character who was a huntsman who had to resort to cannibalism when he and his hunting buddy got trapped in the mountains#so now hes like this Grotesque Beast who hunts other people who wander into the forest#and i love him sm <3#anyway#so the woman is trying to find her way back home to her wife before she becomes one of them#but no ones ever escaped before blah blah blah whatever#and im having a hard time actually writing it#since its something from scratch#like theres just A Lot#i have characters and the setting but im struggling to balance a plot b plot c plot etc#so i figure i might just rope my hyperfixation into it to let it Do Its Thing so i can actually have like#a first draft#at the very least#idk#would yall read that?#not tma#helix speaks#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#get this to 10 notes and I'll do it#i don't need a lot of convincing#it's prolly gonna happen#soon as i figure out how i wanna rework characters and plot points
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Returned to Starbound for a bit recently, and decided to make more homes in the rest of the major planet types!
Used a lot of generated structures again, but had to hand make some stuff for the arctic and lava planets (neither of those biomes have generated structures) and couldn't find anything particularly good on the savannah planet.
Original post with the other planet types here
#my post#starbound#the lava planet was an absolute pain to handle though i like how it ended up with the fairly sparse decoration#several times i got fucked over by meteor strikes and at one point had to remake basically the whole little island from scratch#also had to edit the lush one a bit when i realized it was. too tall for screenshot lmao. i like the way it is now better anyway#the outfits were a little hard to puzzle out bc i tried to keep from reusing anything from the first set of homes#while checking the ogs i was slightly hurt to note that i decided on the pink clothing theme partway through bc the forest home has#my character in green clothes with just a pink dyed back piece. a few of the og outfits couldnt be dyed so tried to pick a few in here#with more non-pink like with the arctic and midnight outfits. god it was hard to put together that midnight outfit lol#the snowy one was kinda funny to decide on bc yeah its the snowy home but its made out of a steamspring biome structure#the midnight one was fun bc i had the idea of there being a lot of lighting inside. and i slightly themed the mutated one as grown over#the savannah one was the only one made entirely from scratch and i do really like it#hoping the screenshots arent shitty
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maybe now that i have adhd meds i can attempt Language again
#i mean ok i had them before but different ones & they didnt work. but i think what im on now is what i was on in hs & those Did work#(& then i stopped bc i was like well i am not in school anymore i dont need these. & then. i moved out. and oops i do need them actually)#(unfortunately due to the adhd & also my medical records having gone fucking missing somehow(???) it um. took a while)#but ough i must learn words......... i just need to Actually set aside time for it . and like keep a fucking notebook im not making the#mistake i made with french where i start out like oh this is easy :) & then it gets harder but i havent been taking any notes & now idk How#& so i just give up. we are not doing that this time we are taking notes From The Start and figuring out what works .#but...... probably not this month. this month is Busy. maybe august..........#thats actually a little bit of a lie bc i Have already started theres a podcast w some basics that i have on my work mp3 player#buuuut its been a minute & also Because i only listen to it at work im not really able to pick up on everything. so im basically still#kind of starting from scratch lmao.#honestly my biggest complaint w the podcast is that like. while it does have a sheet w the translations it doesnt have Pronunciation & bc i#have auditory processing issues i cant actually figure out How they are saying certain words just by hearing them.... bc i dont know that i#actually hearing them Correctly. fucking cannot identify sounds disorder killing me over here#doesnt help that its a language where pronunciation is Quite Different than english lmao......#i did find a pronunciation cheat sheet online somewhere & i . bookmarked it? downloaded it? sent myself a link on discord? fuck idr#but i also dont know if theres significant differences in dialect between the two. idk what dialect the cheat sheet was even made.. for? in#whatever ykwim its 6:30am i need to sleep
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patron saint of being hot
and a lot of skill and really interesting anecdotes about your life and having professors that give me second hand anxiety bc they seem kinda awful and mean. But mainly just being hot
ty! admittedly my professors are not that bad, ive only had one bad professor that was more incompetent that awful. if you want another anecdote, ill tell you about the only teacher i truly despise to this day (on the tags, cuz its a very dark story)
ask gamerino
#i retook that course with a different professor and passed expectacularly. now for the horrendous teacher#on this story we have vomiting injuries and attempted suicide so watch out#in my last two years of our highschool equivalent i had PE with a teacher that loved to play favorites#if u were on a sport team you were immediately given special treatment and as you might already tell i wasnt. i hate ball sports#i loved exercising but i dreaded PE because of her#i have a condition that made my periods incredibly painful and meself anemic so those weeks were hellish#even though i was a good student she would NEVER let me sit out the navette test. even with a doctors note#i would do my best and then literally go vomit and pass out in the bathroom cuz if i did it on the court i would be berated#that wasnt enough to earn my absolute hatred tho. we now move to the worst day of my life to this day#it was just getting to school from lunch (we could go home and have it there) and i had PE#when i get a text#it was my best friend being cryptic thanking me for being a friend and saying goodbyes#he was going to commit suicide#i absolutely lost my shit as one does and went on a rampage#i couldnt get in contact with anyone (his ex stepdad was abusive and isolated his family) and they didnt let me get out of school#i was desperate and my friends were trying to help me but i didnt know what to do. i called my mom and she called his school and then i just#sat and waited with a friend. while the other classmates did the navette test#the minutes passed. i got message from my bffs number and it was his mom telling me she found him just in time#i broke then. i started sobbing and screaming and scratching my arms and my friend held me and tried to keep me from hurting myself#some other classmates came concerned and tried to help#then the teacher came. she just looked at one of the volleyball girlies who shrugged#she didnt ask if i was ok or if i needed to call someone or go somewhere. she just asked if i planning to do the test#i said no and she left and i kept crying#when i felt stable enough i went to see what had happened and she just failed me. i couldnt give the test any other day and that was that#she simply didnt care#i had to calm myself down while writing this. its no use getting emotional over a teacher that didnt care#but i hate her. she made the worst day of my life worse and she doesnt know and doesnt care#that memory fuels me to never surrender to indifference and make the pain in this world worse#my bff got help he needed after that and our bond is stronger than ever. he never pulled something like that again#thats the story! not gonna tag this babes
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anyone wanna reblog this and tell me in the tags what your current hyperfixation(s) is\are becuase i
#am having a category 7 autism moment over pipe organs#i do not remember the last time i opened up the wikipedia page for something to read recreationally#i initially sought out the list of the biggest ones (because large)and had to step down to the main page first because theres all this ling#and i wanna know what everything does#the music itself has to be a pretty specific vibe for me to like it bc if theyre not played a certain way it gets really cacophonous for me#but the instruments themselves are fucking monsters and playing them seems less like performing on a instrument#and more like harmonizing with a great beast#you start it with a key??#it takes all of your limbs and the thing is constantly breathing#the sound will continue for as long as you hold the note it will not dissipate???#you can record things and play them back it will even remember stop settings it has memory??#stops control how the pipes sound if youve ever heard of pulling out all the stops this is that#theyre like orchestras able to be played by a single person some of them even have voice sounds#the people who play these things are also their own type of beast#pipe organists are wild because god there's just so much#it scratches my loner badass complex so acutely#a lonely person shouldering an entire symphony contrasting against scores of people playing a single piece together as one#you could write an anime about this#did everyone else just already understand about these things or#blake.txt#good tags
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I finished the stripe B)
#well. like.#I actually did like half an hour ago and now I’ve spent the past half hour winding the next yarn colour into a ball#you see the blanket has a previous incarnation which was shit and bad#and I decided not to put myself through the hell of unwinding it All At Once so now instead im doing it colour by colour#so before i move on from one stripe to the next I have to first wind the next stripe into a ball#and the old blanket is so badly made that it takes a really long time because the yarn is like. all tangled up in itself#ALSO I FUCKED UP MY FINGER SO BAD MAN#I won’t go into detail because thinking about it has my anxiety acting up and I know I’m not the only person with Issues on here#*into detail about The Causing Of The Injury. i am in fact going into detail about the following idiocy and annoyingness that it entails#but cw/tw for like. I’m talking about a minor injury in the form of a small cut/scratch#but basically i fucked around and found out a bit too hard earlier today and now i have like a. shallow cut. scratch. whatever running along#my left middle finger. (also because this is tumblr I will add please note it was not on purpose I was genuinely just being stupid as hell.)#it is relevant that it is specifically my left middle finger. why you may ask? well. i am right handed. so i hold my crochet hook in my#right hand. and as a consequence my yarn in my left. and my yarn runs between. you guessed it. my middle and index fingers. meaning it runs#right above my middle finger knuckle. which. you guessed it. is where my little scratch cut is. and I was AGAIN an idiot so I was not#wearing a bandage. (thought it was fine because it had already kinda scabbed over.) and then i get off my what. 2? 3? hours of crochet and#go to brush my teeth and im like oh wow why is that all irritated. and then im like. OHHHH FUCK I HAD SCRATCHY WOOL YARN RUNNING OVER IT.#so yeah I am adding unscented soap And saline to my shopping list for tomorrow !#and praying to every god on earth and beyond it doesnt get infected#(it probably wont like. ive had cat scratches that were realistically probably worse than this. plus I’m taking vitamin gummies that are#specifically immune system boosting since like a week back because I got tired of getting a bunch of colds so hopefully they will also help#my nice little white blood cells fight off any bacteria here :) )
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It was one of my nights to make dinner - and I hadn't done a good job planning ahead. Whipped out a jar of arrabiata sauce I had and i knew i had some leftover hamburger from earlier in the week.... Then looked around for pasta and did not find good pasta candidates for the most part... Gnocchi and Tortellini - that I knew other people might want to tap on their dinner nights... And then I remember boxes of lasagna noodles that had been sitting there for months - and they weren't no boil noodles. (lets be real - the person who bought those hates cooking and there's no way on god's green earth do i see her making any kind of lasagna from scratch - let alone boiling the noodles first ok? ) So I was like - YEP , you're mine, you orphan lasagna noodles!
Broke the noodles ehhhh into relatively similar size pieces and then for good measure tossed cream cheese into the sauce - do not come for me. authentic? hell no. creamy and a nice balance to the extra red pepper i added to make the sauce spicier? yes. Also since I had sauteed onions and a whole buncha minced garlic before cooking the meat and sauce - it was niiiice. at least niiiiice for very little forethought.
(and i had made paul's pumpkin bars - like pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting for dessert - that cake is life ok. and i hadn't had it since my mom passed. that one was for you out there mom- and whoever the heck paul was - mom got the recipe from someone at work or the newspaper back in the day)
ANYWAY - when we sat down to dinner, someone looked at the bowl of pasta and sauce and asked, " So.... What is this exactly?
My response to this semi-saltily delivered query was," FOOD."
After letting the resulting silence sit for a nice little moment or three I then added, "But if you feel you need a fancy name, consider it as 'Deconstructed Lasagna served in a Creamy Tomato and Beef Ragout to be followed by Pumpkin Bars ala Paul."
The peanut gallery let me have this one.
#megan cooks#or more like megan approximates cooking#this was not about me actually cooking much of anythng - more than me managing to scrounge up a dinner#dinner that i thought was very tasty and made my tummy happy even if it was cobbled together haphazardly#the paul's pumpkin bars tho - those suckers are as good as i remember them being#those were a good decision - especially because there are too many damn cans of pumpkin in this house - and someone should use them#and at least i attempt making things from scratch#and as a side note may it please god and the court and anyne else out there but really mainly me ...#please this week let betsy not make the SAME damn variation on a theme of chicken soup.#we've had chicken tortellini soup and chicken gnocchi soup and then also just chicken soup (for when she couldn't find her pastas)#so here is hoping monday does NOT mean yet another fucking chicken soup. it's not good for my soul ok or my tastebuds rn-i'm over it#if we do - i might need to find a recipe to use up all the chicken broth - to try and head off the soup at the pass#adventures in dinnertime#wow - adventure... that's a big stretch but it sounds nice so i'll keep it#if anyone has read this far- are you ok? i hope you're ok- you are so sweet and kind and you deserve a paul's pumpkin bar and some tea
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#when you wake up after only about 4 hours of sleep in the hospital so your brain starts microwaving your blorbos#particularly the one that's just been put into a hospital himself 😭😭😭 with harsher circumstances 😭😭😭😭#so instead of going back to sleep you spend an hour and a half typing up some notes one handed on your phone to maybe write#the first fic you've written in about 8 years lol#you know that feel right 😅#my brain itch for what happened between M&M finding Stolas and him in his hospital room HASN'T BEEN SUFFICIENTLY SCRATCHED by the fics!#and i need some VIA SNUGGLES. IT'S HER DAD. HER DADDY'S IN THERE.#bedside manner personal#bedside rambles#I'm getting out today so maybe I'll actually write it over the weekend#maybe#just the notes are so long looooooool#I'm a reader and a cheerleader for writers not a writer myself lol#give Stolas an ekg. give him some ct scans. as a treat 😌#you guys like the whump and hurt comfort is my KINK it needs to be THOROUGHLY and SATISFYINGLY COMPLETED#also you should watch Taisho Otome Fairy Tale my sister started it for me 2 days ago in the ER and i finally had a chance to finish it#last night and OMG IT'S DELICIOUS#i won't spoil but they're so WHOLESOME!!!!! And the EXCELLENT HELPING OF HURT COMFORT#ESP AT THE FINALE#*chef's kiss*#you gotta watch it#it gave me so much feels#i was spamming her w snaps when she had to go home last night and i kept watching lol
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Homemaking, gardening, and self-sufficiency resources that won't radicalize you into a hate group
It seems like self-sufficiency and homemaking skills are blowing up right now. With the COVID-19 pandemic and the current economic crisis, a lot of folks, especially young people, are looking to develop skills that will help them be a little bit less dependent on our consumerist economy. And I think that's generally a good thing. I think more of us should know how to cook a meal from scratch, grow our own vegetables, and mend our own clothes. Those are good skills to have.
Unfortunately, these "self-sufficiency" skills are often used as a recruiting tactic by white supremacists, TERFs, and other hate groups. They become a way to reconnect to or relive the "good old days," a romanticized (false) past before modern society and civil rights. And for a lot of people, these skills are inseparably connected to their politics and may even be used as a tool to indoctrinate new people.
In the spirit of building safe communities, here's a complete list of the safe resources I've found for learning homemaking, gardening, and related skills. Safe for me means queer- and trans-friendly, inclusive of different races and cultures, does not contain Christian preaching, and does not contain white supremacist or TERF dog whistles.
Homemaking/Housekeeping/Caring for your home:
Making It by Kelly Coyne and Erik Knutzen [book] (The big crunchy household DIY book; includes every level of self-sufficiency from making your own toothpaste and laundry soap to setting up raised beds to butchering a chicken. Authors are explicitly left-leaning.)
Safe and Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair by Mercury Stardust [book] (A guide to simple home repair tasks, written with rentals in mind; very compassionate and accessible language.)
How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis [book] (The book about cleaning and housework for people who get overwhelmed by cleaning and housework, based on the premise that messiness is not a moral failing; disability and neurodivergence friendly; genuinely changed how I approach cleaning tasks.)
Gardening
Rebel Gardening by Alessandro Vitale [book] (Really great introduction to urban gardening; explicitly discusses renter-friendly garden designs in small spaces; lots of DIY solutions using recycled materials; note that the author lives in England, so check if plants are invasive in your area before putting them in the ground.)
Country/Rural Living:
Woodsqueer by Gretchen Legler [book] (Memoir of a lesbian who lives and works on a rural farm in Maine with her wife; does a good job of showing what it's like to be queer in a rural space; CW for mentions of domestic violence, infidelity/cheating, and internalized homophobia)
"Debunking the Off-Grid Fantasy" by Maggie Mae Fish [video essay] (Deconstructs the off-grid lifestyle and the myth of self-reliance)
Sewing/Mending:
Annika Victoria [YouTube channel] (No longer active, but their videos are still a great resource for anyone learning to sew; check out the beginner project playlist to start. This is where I learned a lot of what I know about sewing.)
Make, Sew, and Mend by Bernadette Banner [book] (A very thorough written introduction to hand-sewing, written by a clothing historian; lots of fun garment history facts; explicitly inclusive of BIPOC, queer, and trans sewists.)
Sustainability/Land Stewardship
Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer [book] (Most of you have probably already read this one or had it recommended to you, but it really is that good; excellent example of how traditional animist beliefs -- in this case, indigenous American beliefs -- can exist in healthy symbiosis with science; more philosophy than how-to, but a great foundational resource.)
Wild Witchcraft by Rebecca Beyer [book] (This one is for my fellow witches; one of my favorite witchcraft books, and an excellent example of a place-based practice deeply rooted in the land.)
Avoiding the "Crunchy to Alt Right Pipeline"
Note: the "crunchy to alt-right pipeline" is a term used to describe how white supremacists and other far right groups use "crunchy" spaces (i.e., spaces dedicated to farming, homemaking, alternative medicine, simple living/slow living, etc.) to recruit and indoctrinate people into their movements. Knowing how this recruitment works can help you recognize it when you do encounter it and avoid being influenced by it.
"The Crunchy-to-Alt-Right Pipeline" by Kathleen Belew [magazine article] (Good, short introduction to this issue and its history.)
Sisters in Hate by Seyward Darby (I feel like I need to give a content warning: this book contains explicit descriptions of racism, white supremacy, and Neo Nazis, and it's a very difficult read, but it really is a great, in-depth breakdown of the role women play in the alt-right; also explicitly addresses the crunchy to alt-right pipeline.)
These are just the resources I've personally found helpful, so if anyone else has any they want to add, please, please do!
#homemaking#homemaking resources#gardening#urban gardening#self sufficiency#self sufficient living#sustainability#sustainable living#homesteading#nontrad homemaker#nontrad housewife#urban homesteading#solarpunk#cottagecore#kitchen witch#kitchen witchcraft#crunchy to alt right pipeline#book rec#book recommendations#resource#long post#mine#racism tw#racism mention#transphobia tw#transphobia mention
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#ughhhh sorry 3am angstposting incoming#notes from the crypt#i just got back from teo weeks of visiting my parents and extended family#sometimes i wonder if it would be kinder if they just disowned me and were done with it#they arent even subtle about how little they care about me and my wellbeing and safety#every time i delude myself into thinking things can be repaired they twist the knife a little deeper#im just so tired#i try so hard#i give so much of myself and work so hard to be optimistic and kind to everyone and get back apathy or worse#i just don't know how much longer i can do this#my heart hurts so bad it feels like all my veins turned to glass and then shattered#i just dont know what to do#i dont know how to build a found family or neighborhood support system from scratch#im so tired of just surviving#is it really so impossible to find someone to cherish who will cherish you back?#maybe my dad is right and im just unloveable#i want to go home but ive bever really had one#and im honestly losing hope that i ever will#ill end up like ellenor rigby#or one of those people you hear about where no one realizes they are dead for months until they get evicted for not paying rent#or until their corpse starts leaking through the ceiling of their downstair neighbors apartment#i just wish someone out there cared#sorry for being dramatic ill be fine in a few days probably#and im not going to do anything drastic- i have my cats to think about#i just need to scream into a void and write these thoughts before they eat me alive#anyway im going to sleep#hopefully in the morning ill feel less like a moldy shoe left to rot on the side of the highway
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gojo never imagined an arrange marriage with you, but now you’re all he can think about.
he thinks about you when he’s training, when he’s seated at his round table, when he’s in his bed, everywhere, every time, you’re all he can think about.
and you’re oblivious to it.
you heard the gossip everywhere you walked, about the girl gojo was pleading with his family to marry. how much he loved her, how beautiful she was, how much more elegant she was compared to you. you knew you were never his first choice, not even his fifth, but it hurt even more when everybody acknowledged it.
you stopped wearing your wedding ring, started acting like you were just another person there. luckily gojo didn’t seem to be in any hurry about making heirs, so pretending like you two were working things out didn’t even matter anymore.
you find yourself alone most of the time. your maids were kind and patient, but they had so many things to do throughout the day that you felt awful pestering them to walk around the estate with you.
eating dinners with gojo became normal, but most of your other meals were in silence, always feeling like a speck of dust in the large dining hall.
one day when you’re walking around aimlessly you stumble across the training grounds, the open space below you filled with men swinging wooden swords back and forth at each other.
it wasn’t difficult to find your husband, his white hair hard to miss in a crowd of others. he didn’t notice you watching from above, and so you stayed hidden, not knowing if the men were picky with who watched them.
he was swift and agile. everything he did was precise and with meaning. no wonder he was named the best warrior of the north.
you found this to be more entertaining than walking around the gardens for the tenth time or watching the cooks assemble the next meal, so you didn’t even notice how gojo looked up to see you, somehow slipping away without you knowing.
you were in a state of watching but not really thinking, almost jumping out of your skin when you heard his voice behind you.
“didn’t know i had an audience,”
you yelp, flinching as you look behind you to see your husband all sweaty, panting slightly as he moves his hair away from his face. you eye the stairs that led him up here, wondering how you could’ve missed that.
you laugh sheepishly, giving him an apologetic smile as you pick are your nails.
“i’m sorry,” you scratch behind your ears, feeling heat rise to your cheeks under his intense gaze. it’s unfair how pretty somebody can look, especially after training for an hour straight, “i was just walking around and i saw this.”
he waved it off, shaking his head as he leaned his sword on the wall.
“not a problem,” his eyes shine, “i just would’ve tried harder if i knew my wife was watching.”
my wife.
the words fall so smoothly from his lips you wonder how many times he’s said it before. with malice, hatred, necessity?
you smile a little bit, eyes crinkling around the edges as you look away briefly, not noticing the way gojo chased after your cheerful face.
“how’d you get up here? where are your ladies?” he asks suddenly, looking around at the fact that it was just you up here.
“my what?” you say, looking up at him through furrowed brows.
“you know,” he waves his arm around as if that would help, “you’re ladies in waiting,”
you scrunch up your nose a little bit, something he noticed you did when you were confused.
“oh, well, my maids are working right now,” you tell him, noting that he still didn’t look any less confused.
“no, not your maids, your ladies,” he tilts his head to the side, “the girls your family sent them up to help you around.”
you stare at him, unblinking.
“the girls that are your friends, the ones that help accustom you…” gojo trials off when he realizes he’s not getting anywhere with you.
you feel even more embarrassed than when he caught you watching him, hating the way you were clueless at yet another thing in this life that no one explained to you.
“the girls you hang around with?” he finally lands on, hoping this jogs your memory.
you shake your head, eyes wide as you fidget with the fabric of your dress. his eyes fall onto your finger, lingering on the fact that you’re not wearing your ring.
“who do you spend your time with throughout the day?” gojo seems even more lost than you. he’s seen you with…? well surely that one time…?
“by,” you swallow, embarrassed, “by myself. i walk around a lot.” you admit sheepishly.
“your family didn’t send…?” he answers his own question with his silence.
this entire time you’ve been alone?
he opens his mouth to speak but somebody beats him to it.
“satoru! get down here! we’re still not done!” his friends shouts from below, and you look over your shoulder to see all the men staring at the two of you.
gojo stares at you, unblinking.
“i,” he swallows but can’t find any words.
you can’t either.
he leaves you there, running down those stairs as he shouts at the other guys to resume what they were doing. that entire day he was off his balance because he kept looking up to see you there, but you weren’t.
maybe you were just walking around, like you said.
#gojo x reader#gojo x you#satoru x reader#gojo drabble#jjk x reader#jjk drabble#gojo angst#arranged!gojo
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how do you cure guilt for when you feel guilty about literally every single thing you do because I feel like acid is eating me up inside from all the constant guilt I have
#I’m feeling so bad about that kitten. it had gotten in the space under my steering wheel and above the brake/pedal#it was a pain to get out I have marks all over my hand from it. and I saw the kitten had a scratch on her face#but the humane society manager made a note about her eye I think which I didn’t notice anything but maybe#I wasn’t paying good enough attention. I should have grabbed the kitten before she got into there but I thought she had gone under the seat
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#sometimes I genuinely do wonder just how fucked my mental state would be right now if I hadn’t started playing dnd.#like genuinely during the school year (especially the end of spring semester) my mindset is#‘’survive until the weekend so you can play dnd’’#and then Friday comes and I play dnd fri-sat-sun and I’m happy#and then Monday comes around and its ‘’survive until the weekend so you can play dnd’’#like especially Rook’s game bc that’s my longest running one and I am UNHEALTHILY attached to that one.#it’s the highlight of my entire existence and my other two games are pretty high up on the list of ‘’things that make life tolerable’’#idk. maybe I would be suicidal if not for dnd. probably not but maybe.#I’ve always had my cats and my books and my friends as reasons to live but living away from home means no cats and no books#and I don’t really talk to anyone in my college classes so dnd accounts for over half of my social interaction in a week.#and when you take note of that fact maybe it’s not so hard to see why I cling to it with such desperation.#but it’s more than that. it’s because it’s the only kind of storytelling I seem to be capable of right now.#I haven’t written anything nor related to Rook’s game in almost a year and that had been the first time in months.#I need to create and tell stories and share them with people but my brain (adhd and depression ig) will not let me#so dnd is the way I can do that. because it’s not on me to sit down and do it.#it’s a commitment I make to a group.#and it’s not me pulling it all out of my brain from scratch it’s me reacting to a bunch of other stuff#anyways. just crazy to think that this silly little game (and my idiot bastard man) might save/have saved me#morrigan.text#delete later#personal
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I am so annoyed with myself.
I was working on that second story in Elker and I didn't actually write down anywhere what the central conflict was. I vaguely remember who it involved, but I can't remember exactly what was supposed to happen.
I scribbled out a few of the key scenes before moving on, but they didn't have enough detail for me to tell what is actually happening.
#muttering about not taking my notes#I am getting better about it#but this is annoying#I knew it wasn't on my phone#but I hoped I had scratched it out on my tablet#I did not
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