#had to record it myself XD but it was worth it

[fm-synthesizer]

[twilight-deviant]

hi question, have you ever wrote a scenario where wilson is jealous of someone flirting with matt?

sorry that last ask sounds like a request, more like want to know your thoughts on a jealous fisk.

No worries. I didn't take it that way. I only saw a genuine question. ♥ Though for the record, I'm more than okey dokey with FiskMatt requests. (✿☉‿☉) Just not right now because I'm doing Whumptober. XD

(Related/Unrelated: My two favorite Matt ships are FiskMatt and MattElektra, and I have decided they should fight over him.)

I'm trying... to... think... I know I've thought about jealous Fisk before. I'm trying to remember if I've written it, even in a wip. Hm, I'm not sure I have. Which is weird because, yeah, I've thought about it.

I'm trying to pin down how exactly Fisk would behave in such a scenario. First off, are they actually in a relationship, or is someone flirting with Matt when Fisk clearly called dibs?

I like to look at Fisk's canonical relationships for a good idea of how he is when faced with "romantic rivals."

Obviously, he's an absolute gentleman and simp for Vanessa. Forever and always.

Get you a man...

I wish I had more to go on with comic Vanessa, but I don't think anyone was ever stupid enough to flirt with her. 😂 Consistently though their relationship seemed to be Fisk saying, "Whatever is best for her, even if it is not best for me."

Daredevil: Love and War (1986)

That sounds like a tangent, I think. Haha. My point is Vanessa can do no wrong. Someone could flirt with her, she could flirt with someone. It's hard to imagine Fisk stepping in unless Vanessa objected to the flirtations. He would fantasize killing the person in his mind though.

But I don't think I have to spell out that Fisk puts Vanessa on a pedestal that no one else can even come close to. She is an outlier and should not be counted. lol.

VERSUS

How he behaves with Typhoid Mary when he was taken with one of her personalities while Matt dated another.

Daredevil #259

(A toxic af relationship, but they're lovey dovey married now, so hey, whatever works for them.)

So yeah, at least one version of Fisk is very capable of being jealous. But I like how Mary calls his bluff. She knows he cares too much to hurt her. It's that fact and the doubling down on his anger towards Matt (the one touching his Mary) which I think is deliciously relevant. He seems to get most mad at the "offender."

Daredevil #256

If we think about it instead as, "Fisk likes Matt but this other person is flirting with him," he'll be angry with Matt, but when it comes to actual action, he would want the person flirting to be punished. Matt would hate this btw (IF he found out).

And I think that's probably the conclusion I could live with.

Jealous Fisk (in a relationship with Matt):

More subdued and heartbroken.

Potential feelings of personal inadequacy.

Paranoia = surveilling Matt (fair chance Matt realizes)

Having trouble believing that Matt wants to be with him and will be faithful. (No actual reason to suspect infidelity, but so obsessed with elevating Matt's worth, of course everyone else wants him too.)

But at the same time, maybe wondering if Matt does deserve to be with someone else.

Jealous Fisk (not in a relationship with Matt):

Probably? gonna kill a dude? for touching what's his? At the very least, he's roughing someone up.

If Matt found out, he would feel guilty but angry. Now he's definitely not dating Fisk.

If Matt didn't find out, he would think it weird how everyone that was flirty/nice suddenly won't look at or speak to him. Or disappeared entirely.

Were I to write Jealous Fisk... I can never say for sure until I write it. Haha. I think it always just depends on specific ideas and scenarios. I could see myself writing either of the above. I also like the idea of cashing in on Fisk's inherent ability to influence people's thoughts and actions. (The man is a puppet master.) So that you could have an established relationship between Fisk and Matt where he slowly manipulates Matt to be more withdrawn from others. By becoming the only or most important person in Matt's life, he allows himself to be less concerned about potential rivals. Because not only would Matt never act on the flirtations, but he would feel obligated to shut them down. (But also Fisk is probably hurting these people for daring to try.)

End of jealous Fisk.

Random thoughts...

I'm thinking about how Fisk's relationship with Mary began. Maybe writers forgot Vanessa existed when she was in a coma for years idk. But he began things with Mary during that coma, still married to Vanessa. Then Mary faded away in his life and Vanessa was more relevant again. Then Vanessa left for Europe and he went back to Mary. Mary gone again, more Vanessa. Vanessa died, now he's married to Mary.

So Fisk's own fidelity is... hmm. Maybe Matt should be the jealous one. 😅

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 187 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: taking a bath.

Lol, that elevator music xD

HELEN: "So, where’s the old ball and chain?" Fucking Helen... Always talking about others in a degrading way... Also typical narcissistic behavior, pushing others down in order to feel like they’re better.

JON: "You hoped that by nudging us past his domain, Martin would still be there when I arrived… so I would have to pass through on my own. Apparently, you were right." HELEN: "I thought you said you weren’t going to look inside people’s heads?" JON: "I thought you said you weren’t people." HELEN: "Touché." JON: "Well, for what it’s worth, I have tried not to look inside you." By now Jon has seen enough of the Distortion's behavior as Helen, it has become easy to predict what she's up to.

HELEN: "… He’s still so new to all of this, caught up in ideas of justice and ‘solving’ things. Sure, he can wave away the theoretical idea of people suffering…" JON: "But if he sees it up close, he might try to get his boyfriend to smite you?" I feel like Jon likes the sound of that. His boyfriend.

JON: "I’m trying to ‘know’ if there’s another route I can take." HELEN: "And?" JON: "Turns out there is, actually. But it is rather full of spiders." Coincident? I think not!!! The Web wants Jon to pass on the Fears.

HELEN: "The tape recorder feels more, um… awake." Hmmm, I wonder in what sense... The tape recorders have already been very actively clicking themselves on (or appearing at all) in S4. Is it just because the Web is now in this world instead of lurking at the edges?

HELEN: "Even though I saved you from Michael." The Distortion saved itself from Michael. Suddenly putting itself clearly on the side of "I am not your friend" is not what the Distortion is about. Besides, if it had killed Jon, the "Wonderland" of an Eyepocalyse, which is oh so loved by the Distortion, would have been delayed.

JON: "I liked Helen." HELEN: "I am Helen." JON: "The real one." It is consistent for his character, but I find it funny that Jon seems to bond with people rather quickly. He knew Helen for 20 minutes. He knew Jordan for 20 minutes. 

JON: "True. But as you’ll recall, I was pretty paranoid myself at that point." HELEN: "So what? You saw yourself in her? A sad reflection? A possible future?" Hmmm, maybe it's the same with Jordan. He bonded with him over his experience with the Corruption.

HELEN: "Oh, Jon! This existence can be wonderful, if you just let it." JON: [Sadly] "I know." :( He could just give up. Resign himself to his role as Archivist... Reminds me of working in retail, for example. Other people get sent to ware house duty because they're too rude be around customers. While I have to do the dirty work with customers because I care too much about not being an asshole. Or like working in a team with the same pool of work load. Others put their feet up, after all the work gets done by the others. But I don't want to be someone like that. I don't think I could be someone like that... 

JON: "I see. How long have you been working with Elias?" HELEN: "I’m not." JON: [Faux-shocked] "Helen! Is that… a lie?" HELEN: "No! No, it’s not. I don’t know him. I’ve never even – Look, I’m happy here, all right?" Changing the subject, hehe... We know, that it was Elias who sent og!Helen to the Institute. Did he also suggest that Helen will probably be confused after her statement so there’s high chances of her finally walking through his door? Was it also Elias who sent Michael to Sasha, so they could find out to use CO2 extinguishers against Prentiss?

HELEN: "You are so difficult to like sometimes. I’ve been nothing but nice to you." JON: "Maybe that’s why I never trusted you." Ohhh, yes, I've talking about this in another post already. I'm super wary of people who are immediately over-the-top nice to me. That's very often a facade which hides a very ugly personality. (Also, that was a lie again. Helen threatened him in MAG 157, so not very nice. But very typical for that personality again. Stating untrue things in a beneficial and factual way, suggesting you should believe it.)

(STATEMENT) "Well, not a dead end. It’s a door that says ‘Honeymoon Suite’." HELEN: [Saucy] "Currently unoccupied…" (STATEMENT) "I turn to retrace my steps. I must have taken a wrong urn." HELEN: "Just in case you and Martin were looking for a room." Pfff, Helen is so pushy and nosy regarding things which are absolutely none of her business.  

"How long… How long has Alex been alone now? " Ha! Another character called Alex!

The sound of laughter during the statement. So mean...

"She’d love nothing more than to help me, although she does hate to see me check out, it’s always so hard on her when guests leave." Making you feel bad for a totally normal thing...

VICTIM: "I don’t know how long I’ve been here." JON: "Look. I’m so sorry –" VICTIM: "You’ve got to help me!" JON: [Angrily] "Don’t touch me!" It's a stressful situation, but you're always allowed to set boundaries. No one gets to touch you when you don't want to. Again, it's just a shitty situation all over like so many others in TMA. Also, especially understandable that it’s Jon who doesn’t want to be touched... So many have hurt him..

HELEN: "Oopsie. Not so easy, is it? Keeping up your humanity?" Oh yeah, and then making you feel bad for setting boundaries...

JON: "You’re dangerous because for all the torture and cruelty, you still somehow got us to think you’re our friend." Mentioned it in MAG 183 (I think?) already that I'm not sure, what's more dangerous. More straight up hostile Helen. Or fun Helen. The one that makes you laugh about all her little manipulative comments. Schrödinger’s douchebag: Come on, don't be like that, it was just a joke!

JON: "No, you are the question of “What lurks behind a smile?” Is a friendship true, or is it reaching out with hands that cut you?" Being wary of the people who are over-the-top friendly... JON: "And when one face finally stopped smiling, you just changed the face." Helen taking over from Michael.

HELEN: "Fine. So if that’s all true… why? Why would I do any of that? What’s my actual motive?" JON: "I don’t think you even have one. It’s just what you are." I have asked myself this question so many times. And I've come to the same conclusion. There is no grand motive behind that. Just doing it over and over again, torturing others, they like that. The feeling of being able to make a person so submissive, so obedient that they will do everything to stay your friend. It makes me sick... I have once asked one of my “Helens” if she knows that those things she did are horrible. She got all smug and said yes and that she likes it and is proud of it. Fucking hell..

JON: "I will end you." [SILENCE BUT FOR SOME CREAKING] JON: "What, nothing? No smirk? A laugh? I’ve got you rattled." HELEN: "I’m not scared of you." JON: "Helen… Was that… a lie?" Smug and badass Jon is back, yaaaaaaaaaay!

JON: "Urgh!" [A STRANGE SOUND RINGS OUT AS THE ARCHIVIST REAPPEARS IN THE WASTELAND] MARTIN: "Christ, Jon!" JON: [Groggy] "Oh, Martin! Good." MARTIN: "Wh– Wh-wh-what… What happened? Th-th-there was the hotel and then…" Hmmm, I like the headcanon that Martin saw (and heard) something in the sky shifting and and suddenly, like "the sky ate him" but in reverse, it spits out Jon and Martin catches him^^ The soundscaping suggests otherwise though. After "Christ Jon" and during "Oh, Martin! Good." there's rubble to be heard, like climbing over debris. And only after "What happened?" we hear fabric rustling. So sounds to me like Jon fell out of the sky in front of Martin, then gets up and they hug.

JON: "Do you? Want to mourn?" MARTIN: "… A bit, I guess. I-I mean, she was our friend. Sort of. A bit." It's okay to be upset losing a "friend" like this. After all, there most definitely were fun times too, if it was just awful, you probably wouldn't have become their friend, after all.

@a-mag-a-day

[expecto-kedavra]

Hullo xD I love your soft Imelda bit, could you do another one :’) maybe coming from another slytherins perspective, after the events of the game :))) <3

Hey anon! Thank you! I love writing soft Imelda, I think she definitely knows her worth, but I think she also is slightly insecure and wants friends, but is scared. Here you gooooo

Imelda Reyes, Quidditch Captain and Heartthrob.

I was tired. The end of the year was taxing, emotionally and physically. I thought I’d have a bit of a rest after the year ended, but I was wrong. I spent the summer holiday in Feldcroft with Ominis and Sebastian. Word had gotten out about my heroics, and residents from all across the Highlands were sending me owls, asking for favors. “Oh, listen to this one.” The three of us were sitting at the table, reading through what Sebastian called my fan mail. “Hello, MC. I have recently been afflicted with a terrible curse that prevents me from degnoming my garden. It seems the only cure lies in a tropical island in the Caribbean. I can travel there myself, but I worry for my poor garden.” Sebastian looked up from the letter, amused. “Honestly, the nerve and laziness of some people.” Ominis said, yet I could tell he did find it entertaining. “You’d think that you were a wand-for-hire.” I laughed at his remark. He was right. The amount of these cries for help that only needed help with simple mundane tasks was quite ridiculous. Of course, there was the odd troll we’d have to dispatch, or a wave of inferi created by some upstart. Rarely. We continued sorting through the haul from that day, and determined that we would write one letter saying that I had fallen ill, and motivating them to find the “courage and resolve I found when facing Ranrok” to complete their task. Once the letter was complete, we used a multiplying charm on it and sent the lot on their way.

The letters didn’t stop until the day before school began. It was at least decent enough of my “admirers” to respect my academic pursuits. Walking into Hogwarts was a breath of fresh air. The start of term feast was as delicious as always, and the new crop of Slytherins seemed promising. As I was cramming my face full of pudding, I looked up and made eye contact with Imelda. She seemed to have been watching me. I offered a mouth-full smile, and a small wave. Was that a blush I saw on the badass quidditch stars’ face? Probably not. We had ended the year as friends, but I didn’t think anything else of it. I pushed it to the back of my mind for the moment, and headed back to the Slytherin common room.

As I was sitting down by the fire, my thoughts drifted to Imelda. The way we had evolved through the last year was quite the tale. Her words rang through my head, “you’re a credit to our house.” She had said with a smile, after I had set the new record down at the south coast time trial. We spent more time together after that, chatting and challenging each other. She had the most delicate laugh, for someone with her personality. We’d make fun of each other, and all manner of “arguments” would catch many eyes from around the Great Hall. It was quite entertaining, and I was glad to have her as a friend. I frequently would wish that one of my summer letters would be her, but to no avail. I was snapped from my thoughts by Violet McDowell, a girl who had taken a sudden interest in me following the events of last year. “Hi MC! How are you? I’m well. Iwaswonderingifyourebusytomorrowevening?” Wow. The words flew from her mouth like a Peruvian Vipertooth that was late to work. “Umm well I-“ I struggled to think of an excuse. Perfectly one schedule, I was rescued by none other than the girl that I had wished to ask that question, Imelda. “Sorry Vi. MC and I are training for the upcoming Quidditch trials. I’ve selected them to be my co-captain.” Well this was news to me. “Oh, I understand. Good luck MC.” Violet said with a lustful gaze. She meandered off, and Imelda sat next to me on the couch. “I could tell you were a bit uncomfortable with that. You needn’t be my co-captain if you don’t want. I had planned to extend the offer more formally.” Again, I swear I saw the slightest hint of a blush on her cheeks. “Oh no I’d be honored, someone has to help keep you in check.” I mused. She chuckled. “More like I wanted to make sure your feelings weren’t hurt if I chose someone else.” She chided. Her tone shifted to business. “Right. Meet me at the pitch tomorrow at dawn. We need to get started early.” And she swiftly left. I watched her leave, taking in every detail of what had happened. I tried to tell myself she was just a friend, and I was the best option as co-captain. She didn’t have any romantic feelings for me, so I needn’t convince myself something was there. Yet, the sparkle of her eyes and the warmth of her laugh remained in my mind, almost teasing me. I made my way to bed, the thought of her soft skin and the subtle scent of her perfume refusing to leave me.

The next morning, I popped out of bed, heart slamming in my throat. I ignored Sebastian’s snoring and mumbling as I grabbed my perfectly trimmed and polished broom from my trunk. I wasn’t nervous for classes, or that I’d be rubbish during practice. It was more so excitement of flying with Imelda. I practically sprinted towards the pitch in my uniform. Imelda was ready for me, already having retrieved the balls and cleaned her broom. She saw me coming and grinned. “Had a sleepy start?” She snickered. “It’s about time you showed up.” I laughed. Her snickers and quips had gone from frustrating and obnoxious to almost sweet. “Sorry, thought I’d pop by the Lake and say hello to the merpeople.” Returning her sarcasm had quickly become second nature. “Alright Nerida. Time to begin!” I rolled my eyes, deciding to let her have the last word for now. “First off, we’ll need to decide your position. Our strongest point is Chaser of course,” she said with a flip of her hair, “and our weakest is Keeper. We had a damn good one, but they graduated last year.” I hadn’t given much thought to position. “Of course you do have a solid build, you would make a fair beater. And you’re fast, so seeker isn’t out of the question either.” She was so focused on her passion, it was quite attractive. “Well, I don’t want to distract you with my fantastic shows of strength, and Seeker is kinda boring, so Keeper?” I said. “Good choice! Now, let’s begin. I’ll try to score on you. Don’t let me.” And away we went.

Being as competitive as we both were, the training was grueling. I fared quite well, learning from and analyzing my mistakes. I could tell when we finished Imelda was impressed. “Well done! I wasn’t holding back. Remember, since you’re co-captain, you need to help me assess the trials tonight. But honestly if you play like that, we could have mooncalves as teammates and the Cup would be ours!” She threw her hands in the air, and in doing so dropped her broom. We both reached down for it, bumping into each other, and awkwardly apologizing. As we stood, I found myself closer to her. “I probably smell terrible.” I laughed. “Oh you do. Positively revolting.” I studied her face, beads of sweat trickling from her forehead, her chest still rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath. “I probably smell like a troll. What do you think?” She said, and took a step closer. She was inches away from me, looking up into my eyes. “Well, I’ve met a few trolls, and you definitely don’t smell that bad.” I lightly caressed her cheek, and she leaned into my hand. “Your hair looks quite sexy all messy and blustery.” I whispered. I inched closer, feeling her breath on my face. Her lips parted, and I fell into them, allowing myself to melt into her. She moaned softly as I a pulled her in, sweeping her in. Our kisses slowly got faster and hotter, as she ran her fingers through my hair and nibbled on my lower lip. We eventually pulled away from each other breathing heavily. “Wow.” I said. “Uh huh!” She replied. “Could you finally be speechless? Incredible, I would have kissed you last year in Irondale if that’s what it took.” I said with a wink. “Very funny. Now, as wonderful as that was, don’t expect it to just happen all the time.” I had to admit I was definitely disappointed at her words. I stared at my feet. “Imelda I-“ but she swiftly cut me off. “You have to at least take me on two dates first. Then I’ll be your girlfriend.” I looked back up, beaming. “Well then, it shall be my sole purpose. Prepare yourself, I’m a damn good date planner.” I planted a kiss on her forehead, and winked at her. “That one doesn’t count.” She smiled and moved back into me, placing her hand on my chest. “On second thought, if you consider our competition last year, that could be considered three dates.” She said mischievously. My heart jumped to my throat and my stomach filled with butterflies. “And Everett Clopton has already started trying to court me.” She looked back up at me innocently. “I’d hate to lead him on.” I picked her up and spun her around. “And we can’t have that! Poor Everett would be broken.” She chuckled softly and gently kissed my cheek. “Now, go shower co-captain. You’ll need to keep your marks up if you want to stay on the team.” She lightly pushed me away. “You’re one to talk Mellie, you could overflow the lake with all that sweat.” I mused. She stuck her tongue out at me and we both laughed. I practically skipped to the showers, ignoring the strange looks from the Hufflepuff captain walking up to the pitch.

The Slytherin Quidditch team squashed Gryffindor first match. Nobody scored on me, and I watched in awe as Imelda masterfully corkscrewed through the opposition and scored goal after goal. As our seeker snagged the Golden Snitch and Madam Kogawa blew her whistle, Imelda flew over to me and planted a kiss firmly on my cheek. “Well done, I knew you were the right choice.” Her smile lit up my heart, sending tingles down my arms. “I could say the same for you.” I replied. She looked at me, confused. “What choice did I make?” I laughed at her confusion. “The one to be my girlfriend, you dork.” She giggled and blushed. If you told me last year I’d be dating Imelda Reyes, and she would be giggling? And blushing? Well, I would have taken you to St. Mungo’s. Clearly you had a run in with a flock of Fwoopers. Absolutely out of your mind.

[thewollfgang]

I have almost reached the middle of the sketchbook I'm using exclusively for Astarion. A lot of pages are just down right embarrassingly bad and I'm still trying to find the right style (I'm leaning more towards realistic(?), at least on paper, I think). Weirdly enough, I haven't done much digitally despite the frustration I feel when I try reaching for an undo button on my sketchbook. XD I'll be focusing on digital next though so I can color without worrying that doing so would ruin the drawing.

It's been raining (finally) nonstop for a few days now and it's put me in a very artistic mood. Nothing like sketching and hearing real rain instead of the recordings they use as the background noise in the scary story comps I listen to. I would love to sit on my porch with my sketchbook if I wasn't afraid of getting sick again. The aesthetic isn't worth it lol.

Game wise, I have robbed almost everyone in the tower, just because, and have done the trials in the gauntlet. The most frustrating was the Faith Leap Trial, especially when I realized the answer was right there on the floor. I got hella spooked when I thought it wasn't going to give me a choice on whether I wanted to go to Shadowfell or not after I accidently clicked on the portal. I'd like to think I'm not missing anything but I will do my usual wandering before entering, just in case.

there is something truly awful at the way tumblr formats asks so i read this message yesterday but had to wait till I got on my computer to format a proper response.

Every time you mention drawing Astarion I go and make a few drawings myself. I got a new phone with a little stylus thingy and I really adore the way the notes app handles the digital pencil too. It feels really authentic but I can still hit the undo button XD so we are in a similar boat! Astarion has one of those faces that I feel like I have to draw a few dozen times to get the hang of, plus i get annoyed with his hair and how swoopy it is so i just doodle a bunch of squiggles and call it good.

I've been sick the last few days so I haven't done much besides lay around and drink lots of Sprite and Gatorade. God bless antibiotics for real. I have been playing bg3, but not on my main game, but on two other multiplayer games I have with my friends. It's interesting to play different versions of Act 1 and make different choices. (Somehow, I'm romancing Astarion in all three????) I cheated just a little with the Leap of Faith trial cause you can hit the O key and put yourself in tactical mode and see the path XD cheap, I know, but I aint bovvered.

In my main game I am still overwhelmed with Act 3, but I managed to get a few things done, but STILL have not found Orin in her other disguises, but I did find a bunch of very sus toys in a creepy dude's basement. So there's that. I think the desire to explore everything is a detriment to me in this Act since it's simply so large and there's so much to do. I need to take it in little chunks and small quests at a time. I'll get there! .......Eventually!

[aeternallis]

KM Discord Server

As a POC (SE Asian) who was also dogpiled on a much a smaller scale in another discord server, and as one who'd witnessed in real time the events that unfolded in December 2023 in the KM discord server, I think the one thing that's been lost in all this chaos and drama is the human decency of giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Feel free to skip this section!

And for a little background, here's my experience: I reblogged a post on my blog and ranted about a few headcanons that I don't agree with in the tags. Some people read my tags, and concluded from that one post that I'm an outright ableist. Mind you, it was one day, and one post when I had absolutely no filter. Yet still, in which case, the conclusion drawn about me was fair, since in retrospect, I see where I went wrong. Again, I was frustrated for one day in that post and did not think of my tone whatsoever. I face the repercussions of that misjudgment today. For the record, just because I'm a POC, it doesn't mean that I'm immune to hurting other people, no matter the fact that that was never my intention. I did hurt certain individuals with that one damn post and the tags I wrote, and I'll be apologetic and remorseful about it for a long time. But having said that, I'd honestly expected certain people in this fandom to be mature enough to reach out in private first and ask for some clarifications, not to be immediately gossiped about in the discord server we were a part of. On top of that, besides that one incident, I hadn't even realized there was already growing resentment towards the metas I've written for KP/Kimchay, besides one of the few times I brought up personal frustrations I experienced as a POC. Lol

From what I've noticed with this incident in the KM server as well as the small discord server I was a part of, when POC share their own cultural context and understanding of something, not just the piece of media for which is the reason why we were all there in the first place, the knee-jerk reaction for most westerners are almost always to think of those things as "fandom policing."

In fact, in a separate conversation from my experience, one of them even said, "it's not so much about culture!" LOLOL To have that sentiment hurled towards me, while I was speaking of my frustrations of when culture erasure takes place in conversations of certain topics, while the conversation took place in a discord server meant to celebrate an Asian piece of queer media…was quite an experience. XD Goodness, I can only wonder what it's like to be able to have the privilege to say that so easily. That's all I'll say. Ha~

Yet still, from my own point of view, do I call the people who hurt me “individuals with a colonizer mindset” and that other word that’s hanging around right now and unsaid, just because of these few incidents? My knee-jerk reaction is to say yes, considering I wasn't even given a chance to explain myself, but I'll clamp that knee-jerk reaction down as much as I can, because despite everything, I still personally think the KM discord server and that other discord server still did more good than bad (not by much though), in the grand scheme of things. Those servers allowed for some instances of astounding cross-cultural communication (even if it also allowed rampant western ignorance to thrive), and for what it's worth, there are still good people in this community, despite everything.

And at the end of the day, who am I to hurl hurtful labels towards those who'd hurt me, when I hardly even knew them in the first place (two of them I never even talked to, LOL), and I know to myself that they meant no harm at the end of the day. Even if they certainly didn’t hesitate to throw the label “ableist” at me without a second thought.

It's a serious thing to throw a label like that at someone, even if my own experience as a POC who was dogpiled on by a number of westerners...hmm, let's stop that train of thought.

Getting back on track. Even still, these opinions I hold won't erase the experiences of other POC members in this fandom and in the KM discord server, the hurt they've experienced, nor can I speak for any one of them.

I think the bad habit of knee-jerk reactions—specifically the knee-jerk reaction of those wanting to protect the KM discord server in the way that's perceived to result in the least amount of drama, the gut instinct to not want to be caught in the crossfire, the conscious choice to tolerate such things, for the sake of preserving the safe space that one has left—is pretty much what's dominating the behaviors of people responsible right now.

The mods who run such servers like the KM server and others like it—they're not perfect, but I would have at least expected from them to be more open and proactive to the concerns of its POC members. Perhaps it's too much to expect that they would be equipped to handle very sensitive issues as the ones its POC members experienced, but damn...the bar is quite low, even just to meet the minimum.

And that's the most frustrating thing, to be honest. All this time, in all these various situations for those who’ve spoken out, it's the POC members of the community who are ALWAYS the ones who are pressured to having to give people the benefit of the doubt, to have to be careful of what they say, but NOWHERE in these situations is that sentiment even remotely returned to POC.

It was the POC members affected by the incident in December who had to remain patient with the mods, it was the POC members who had to face the backlash of negativity that happened, it’s the POC members of the community who’ve had to face the accusations of fandom policing, it’s the POC members of the community who have to face daily micro aggressions in this fandom, when all we’ve done is express opinions and our viewpoints.

At the end of the day, it’s POC members of the community who face the repercussions of having spoken out, yet the rest of the westerners in this community have the damn luxury to walk away, unscathed, to think to themselves that they did nothing wrong.

So I’ll be blunt this one time: yes, for the most part, there are good people in this fandom, there are. But even so, not a single one of us here is perfect, we’re all human.

And if I do say so myself, there is indeed quite a desperate need for fandom spaces, not just the KP fandom, to decolonize their ways of operating, starting with: giving POC the benefit of the doubt and actually trying to handle our concerns with some effort.

[rosietrace]

Melodic Misconceptions 🎹

Track 08: Yuuta accidentally unalives Mayuu also idol x actor????

Synopsis: Victoria Shard was a former member of the popular idol group [ Poisoner ] from NRC corporations. After discourse with her group leader, Victoria decided it was best for her to leave and pursue her solo career in a record label run by her parents.

It had been half a year since her separation from her old group, and Victoria had never been more successful. But now she has a new problem. She must return to NRC corporations in order to mentor the seven idol groups.

Ellis Clawthorne is a member of [ (Co)-connect ] the most recent group under NRC'S belt. With no experience as an idol, Ellis must persevere in order to succeed and pursue her dreams.

Will both girls be able to adapt to their current situations?

✐ ✎_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_✐ ✎

Author's note: Don't question the release of this track, there's bound to be three or more tracks in one day in the future XD

And no, I am not overexerting myself to make these, I started making 08 while finishing up 07

Hope you guys like this track as well! Also there's some foreshadowing for a certain.... Idol x Actor😏

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

When Chizuko and Carol were called over by Zen to watch Yuuta and Miren's performance, they didn't expect to see their manager on the ground looking like a corpse with the most traumatized expression on her face.

Which wasn't all that surprising due to the song Yuuta and Miren were dancing to. The continuous moaning at the start of the song was most likely when Mayuu felt her soul exit her body.

Carol cringed a little."I'll admit, Yuuta's pulling it off, but…." She seethed a little, deciding that it was better to just calm Mayuu down a little, even promising that she can scold Yuuta right after.

"We're going to get more recognition…. But at what cost.." Carol fought back a snort, as Mayuu sounded like she was a jaded old woman.

Chizuko watched Miren and Yuuta dance, and felt intrigued."I'm rather impressed by the choreography. The song on its own is still suggestive, but the choreography looks good." She commented as the song reached the chorus and became even more stunning.

Zen giggled."I'm pretty sure Yuuta came up with the choreography himself!" He quickly spoke before dancing the choreography backstage, almost equally as impressive as Yuuta and Miren's dancing.

Impressive, it seems that Yuuta had come up with the choreography on his own…. Victoria smiled a bit, understanding why Yuuta and Miren spent so much time in the dance studio. Because they were rehearsing genuinely difficult, but incredible choreography Yuuta had come up with.

Ellis huffed."I guess all those times he was blasting thirst trap music in his room was worth it, look at the man go." Juvia felt a drop of sweat fall down her face while smiling awkwardly at Ellis.

"You did well."

Ellis and Victoria flinched, recognizing the deep voice almost immediately. Malleus.

While Victoria appeared bitter, Ellis grinned and happily greeted Malleus who began a pleasant conversation with each other.

Until Victoria decided to interrupt. But, not for the reasons, fans would assume.

She put her arm around Ellis's shoulders."I request that this conversation be put to an end. Once the current performance is over, we'll be leaving as soon as possible." Malleus was irked at Victoria, and Ellis felt awkward yet flustered by being in the middle of such tension.

Sighing, Malleus sent her an exasperated look."Fine… But, I suppose you did… Good as well." He extended his hand, waiting for Victoria to swat it away.

But instead, she shook it. Malleus was stunned, for sure, but what made the situation awkward was that neither of them was letting go.

Eventually, Victoria had no choice but to slap his arm to make him let go before she and Ellis walked away.

When the performance was over, Yuuta laughed and blew a kiss to the crowd before grabbing Miren and walking out of the stage.

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

Naturally, because of the performance of 'Nxde' alongside Yuuta and Miren's performance, [ (Co)-connect ] received a lot more recognition.

Which was thanks to Freyah, for the most part.

On the other hand, Yuuta felt his pride leave him for dead when Mayuu was scolding him for performing the song, and Carol was scolding him and Miren for stressing out Mayuu.

But in the end, everything was smooth sailing.

To shift topics, Juvia smiled sheepishly, which aroused suspicion from Ellis and Zen.

"What're you lookin' at?" Ellis questioned, appearing rather silly with her haughty but conspicuous expression on her face. Zen joined in on the fun and did the same thing, making Juvia laugh a little more.

"It's nothing, I just kinda think this one actor looks cute…" Juvia scratched the back of her neck, her smile remaining sheepish.

Ellis didn't believe it at first, and essentially snatched Juvia's phone from her grasp."There's no way they're actually- HOLY CRAP, THEY'RE HOT!!" Ellis exclaimed, causing Zen to gasp dramatically.

"AIN'T NO WAY-"

"NO, THEY LOOK HOT-"

"Not gonna lie here, but they do look compatible for Tori…"

"I think you might be onto something-"

"Uhh… Can I have my phone back?"

Realizing that she was still holding Juvia's phone, Ellis awkwardly gave it back to her with an equally awkward grin. That was until she continued the rest of her conversation with Zen about the actor and their compatibility with Victoria.

And Victoria happened to be listening to their conversation while conversing with Miren and Chizuko.

Miren covered his face in embarrassment."I feel weird after that performance…." He muttered.

Chizuko hummed softly."It's mostly because you aren't used to performing like that. You're much more used to being a guitarist than a dancer." She quickly replied.

"You think so?"

"I know so. Compared to Yuuta, your performance was sloppy, much slower, your expressions never changed throughout the performance, you didn't-" Miren groaned at the realization of it all.

Victoria awkwardly pats his back before sending Chizuko a 'You didn't have to tell him that' expression. To which Chizuko responded with a simple shrug and continued reading with Carol.

Mayuu entered, drinking another batch of coffee due to working overtime after the concert. And she couldn't help but laugh a little when she heard a sample of Ellis and Zen's matchmaking scheme with Victoria and an actor.

She approached Victoria, with her mug in hand."It seems like they're keen on matchmaking you with a certain actor." Mayuu jokes, gesturing to Ellis and Zen scheming together.

Victoria scrunched her nose and sighed."I don't think that's necessary…" was all she had to say on the matter.

Mayuu merely shrugged, and sat next to her."To shift topics, I was a little surprised that you would be our mentor alongside Zen." Mayuu stated, piquing a bit of Victoria's interest.

"You were?"

"Yeah… Since you two are influential, I pretty much begged the others to not make a fool of themselves in front of you two." She sipped a swig of her coffee, "At least they're trying to do that."

A smile appeared on Victoria's face."I see… At the very least, mentoring you and the others isn't that difficult. You're all talented and fast learners, making it easier for me to teach you." She commented, turning off her phone.

Mayuu exhaled deeply."I'm just grateful that you and Zen are our mentors… We'll finally have a chance to beat [ Poisoner ]."

The smile on Victoria's face faltered at the mention of her former group, but it remained on her face despite it.

"I'll be sure to give you the victory you all deserve."

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

Tagging:

@starry-night-rose @nem0-nee @fumikomiyasaki @authoruio @windbornearchon @sakuramidnight15 @geminiiviolets @knights-escort @twsted-princess

[betelgeusx3s-badfanfiction]

sad puppet show

I just thought this would be funny to post cause tomorrow i am posting my chats where i ask for a sad puppet show...

Dc audio, I did not record it i just attempted to make it louder...

(if you are the original recorder and you want it down please let me know)

I also wanted to take this time to post a little piece of a fanfiction i am writing not sure if anybody cares...i am sorts stuck Xd i am so bad at writing lols.

here it is i took my favorite chunk

God his face, he looked like he may explode. He was so expressive, it was so sad knowing almost nobody could see it…. he was adorable. He must be in deep though with a face like that.

"He claimed he could teach us how to scare," Barbara said interrupting my thoughts.

Oooooh no I could feel a smile on my lips as I tried to stop myself from laughing. I caught a few minutes of that, I had stuck my head in the roof to see if I could find him the gut feeling was pointing there. "And let me guess he was a horrible teacher. Five minutes in he began complaining about how you sucked at scaring." I had heard that bit, the part he was calling them losers. I tried not to laugh as I recalled my own lesson with him. "He tried to teach me how to play banjo once by possessing me and playing a tune then letting me go and then telling me ok play that again."

I watched him closely but all he did was fiddle with his hair. So I turned back to the newly deads Adam and Barbara. "Sooo, what brings you folks to the roof… oh ya Lydia who wants to jump cause she thinks life's not worth living. Well I am hoping we talked her down…. well Beej was just trying to get her to say his name.. I don't know what happened so explain."

They all just kinda stood there and stared at me…. I took a step towards the edge of the… "let me introduce myself! I am… well you can call me Orion.. its so masculine I know.. it was the name of my black male cat… for some reason Mr. Beebleboose over here thought it was my name."

"Think of us as your guides from the stars! Orion and my stinky armpit Betelgeuse!" I knew he would hate it but I had too I almost started laughing at my own bad joke…… but they just stared…

[greengrungeemo]

Why Hayley Williams is among the most BADASS people I know of

So, I've recently been to a Paramore concert with someone just as badass and amazing and had the best time ever!! Hands down the best concert I ever been to (I've been to 4 now)! It was of course, amazing because of the perfection that is Paramore's music, but what was far more extraordinarily compelling was Hayley herself.

I'll post ALL of my recorded concert vids soon so you can see for yourself, but she is the epitome of feminism and women empowerment. Think about it! She's been touring since 2005, and the amount of ENERGY she has compared to previous artists I've seen! Night and daaaaay! The highlights for me were her mood-lifting dance moves and running in place while she performed! It made an introvert like myself get the zoomies and really just... express myself at a concert! So hype and made me so happy. I cried twice during this concert too! xD

Another oustanding thing to note was her understanding and connection to the crowd, you'll see in vids I'll post, but like she said on stage: "Thanks for spending your money here, seriously! I'll make sure to make the whole thing worth it" She knows the struggle out there in this economy. It takes a lot to see a concert when there's just so much to worry about in this world, especially financially! With everything in the world going on, she adds, "Let's just forget all of our worries for these 4 hours. Completely forget it all together." To some, that may not seem like much of a statement, but to those suffering from anxiety, trauma, depression, among a whole lot of other things, this helped create a bubble of escape. Admittedly, even in this trip down to the U.S, I still have a lot on my mind on a daily basis. A lot of inner demons to battle, regret, guilt, worry for others, etc etc. Hayley helped put that on pause, especially with a statement like that!

Men can learn A LOT from women, and if they tried to take a page out of Hayley's book, it'd make a big difference, because this next point is on social issues! A huge highlight was a really tear-jerking and awesome statement she made. She made us all hold up our 2 pinkies! We all held them up, and she said, "This is a promise. To hold people in higher power accountable." I got goosebumps and was in pure shock and delight. What a powerful statement and thing to do. What's even better, is that she followed up with, "and let's also remember, to vote. Let's not vote for people with small dick energy please?!" Absolutely true. All of those politicians so insecure about how people simply wish to identify as or express themselves? It hurts, knowing there's people who feel trapped out there that just want to come out of their shell and feel happy for who they are. I will retain this double pinky promise for as long as I live. As a man, I will understand my privilege and do my best to voice myself and protect friends and all under LGBTQ++ and their rights. I will stand by women and be a proud feminist, and voice myself whenever I see injustice. I will educate other men when I see them being shitty, when they denigrate, dehumanize, or categorize women as any lesser than them. It bugs me so much. It's important. I will also vote thoughtfully where it counts!

Hayley has also pointed out the massive amount of misogynistic criticism laid out to her over the years. Again, since she's been performing in the early 2000s, you can imagine how bad it must have been, being a woman and head of the band? A bunch of sexist males criticizing what a "real band should be", etc. She proves what a real band is. She carries it with her whole heart. 🖤 She even made fun remarks about how she's just a girl, "I got long hair? So what? I brush it. Actually, Taylor(?) brushes it." Referring to one her band mates teasingly. Loved it. Women power right there!

There's so much more to say, but I will keep it brief, Hayley Williams is and always will be among my heroes for her inspiring words, her addictively fun energy, and reminding me to be a proud feminist. It doesn't take a lot of effort to be kind, and to treat others well. Do your part as a man, do your equal share at minimum, and stand up for what's right!

[mcalhenwrites]

For what it's worth, I want to read your writing! lack of audience can really get to a writer but I feel sometimes one needs to be reminded of why they write? Are you writing for yourself or to please strangers, which I get is obviously important for motivation and as a professional worker but I guess what I'm trying to say is don't be too down about it. I appreciate your hard work and amazing stories.

For what it's worth, I want to read your writing! Thank you, anon, that means a lot to me!

I agree with "write for yourself", because you'll never please other people/have to select who you want to please, and that's never going to end well. You can't please everyone. I used to be in the Tales series fandom, and I'd have mixed feelings about some of the games that contradicted the way others felt. I liked some of the lesser known/older games for the same reasons people hated them. So as a creator, you have to think about what feels right to yourself. It's good advice, but I have seen it taken out of context. (For the record, I don't see that happening here, because you do clarify that it's harder when you're stepping into the profession. I'll get into that in a minute, if that's okay!)

That said, I think there needs to be a distinction between writing and sharing. Writing is a process for myself, but the career aspect is stressful and straining and honestly feels hopeless most days. I hate the idea that every single part of a story needs to be about the plot, because the formulaic ways of the publishing industry don't work for every story, every writer. I think the existence of fanfic is proof enough of that, actually! So many of us love fics that cover what might have happened behind the scenes or just… we'll read fifteen different stories of the same tropes for a single ship. And tbh, I think a lot of writers - including myself - really prefer to have more canon included than the publishing industry has room for.

I'm trying to find a middle balance, personally. I want to share! I'm an avid reader, and if no one had shared, what would I have read growing up? Plus the want of financial stability, which is pressure I sincerely despise. I'd happily share everything for free if I had $100k-$120k a year for the rest of my life so I could have my house, healthcare, 3-5 cats, garden, video games, and home library. xD

Sharing is actually pretty difficult for me. I barely showed anyone my work until I was in my mid-twenties. I started writing stories down at age seven. I'm now in my thirties. But sharing is something I want to do and it doesn't get easier after all this time of trying to spread my work. Past the perfectionism (I am definitely working on this and have already made improvements) and the history of bullying I've had over my writing (of which there's been a lot). Overcoming all of that is tough. Which means I feel a little extra sensitive to the idea that if something of mine isn't getting traction, it's confirmation of all the times someone mocked my writing or vaguetweeted by a BNF to make fun of fics I'd just posted. And while I'm starting to realize that some of that likely comes from jealousy - not necessarily that I'm a great writer that poses a threat, but just that my writing means that I might take attention from them in the fandom (which is not how that works) - it's still so hard to stop thinking, "What if they were right?" when I don't get any or very few likes/reblogs or kudos/comments, etc.

I have worked very hard to be a better writer, thinking I could escape that. Now I'm beginning to recognize that that hard work has paid off, but I was also never as bad as everyone made me feel (including myself). I want to keep working hard, because my standards for myself are high.

My writing makes me so happy, I can't describe how much. So even through all the pain above? I still do it. I just think that maybe there needs to be more separation between writing and the results of that ever reaching the public eye. (Most of my writing doesn't. I write a lot. XD)

Sorry to get a little real there. And so lengthy, ugh! I never can say things briefly.

Thank you for reading out, though, and thank you for reading my writing. There are more people reading my works than I know, but sometimes I fear that I'm the only one who will want what I'm making.

I've had IRL and health issues bringing me down too, which overlapped with stressing out over the editing of the next chapter of the story I've been posting. That chapter wasn't making me happy, so I'm taking a break, ignoring it a few days, and going back with fresh eyes later. So that all was knocking down my mood, and seeing only one person comment on the latest chapter, I was like, "Oh, maybe I'm just making a big old mess of this story"… perhaps because I see the mess in my head? Every possible path I threw out, every scene I want to write but won't fit in the story, every part I feel is lacking, every bit of character and world info, etc. Is that translating into something coherent on the page, I wonder, and… it's a lot to think about.

Sorry for TL;DR on this answer, and again: thank you. ;A;

[autumn-foxfire]

Cheers! 🥂😄 I love people acting like Hawks fucked up in killing Twice for no reason like they really forgot the hypothetical “something” he would’ve gained from sparing him is the knowledge that a guy he kinda liked is alive but hates him. Hardly worth the kill count since the REAL Twice would’ve been here then in place of Toga. At least as a copy, her blood can run out eventually. The original even had the League’s measurements and who knows what else. Toga can be stopped somehow, Twice? Nah.

(2) I’m so sorry if that thing sends the ask Twice, my screen froze on it so I wasn’t sure if it worked the first time. I wanted to tell you that I just found out that Twice clone is holding Tsuyu’s goggles and that AFO flashbacks to Hawks’ encounter and Toga holding the blood vile and now I can’t help but wonder if he was stalking them, if it’s just manga artistic choices to explain stuff, if Dabi did that on AFO’s orders since they’re friends, orrr if AFO really is remembering the fight (3) Maybe he’s the one who stole Hawks’ recorder since he apparently has one of his own, I’m just reaching here because NO WAY Hori forgot it’s existence now right? Maybe as Toga goes to kill him it falls out of his pocket and starts playing stuff that makes her pause. I’m just clowning myself. OchaTsu got wrecked I’m pretty sure, future team up with her and Hawks to stop TogaWice maybe?

Someone brought up a point that Toga could have unlimited blood with the Twice clones because Twice did once gave Toga a blood transfusion with a clone so that must mean the clone had the right blood type (still confused on how that worked but I doubt I'll ever get an explanation).

However that doesn't change the fact that Hawks made the right choice to kill Twice. Disregarding this current war, in the previous battle the death of Twice prevent a complete take over by the villains by heroes being overrun with Twice clones.

If AFO is taunting Hawks over not being able to stop it this time around, maybe that should give people a hint but it's not a surprise that went over the heads of the people in fandom.

Huh, maybe this is what another anon was talking about when it comes to AFO and his seemingly stalkerish tendencies as he knows moments he shouldn't. Though I think it's more likely an artistic choice as I can't begin to understand how AFO could be there? Unless I'm missing something (highly possible because I'm going off what you guys say at this point).

We all have hope this recorder will make an appearance somehow, it's like we're clinging to a miracle XD

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Today: Big CRK update Tomorrow: Splatfest Day after that: April 1st (the day I usually do my Eurovision First Impressions posts)

Busy few days.....b-by my standards.....

I miiiiiight give myself a bit more of a break and put off the Eurovision posts by a day or two? But I don’t wanna put it off for TOO long, for obvious reasons....I-I still need to listen to the songs super early in the month, so I can be fair to them all....

U-uh....I might as well start talking about it, tho, before I go!

Yeah, about Eurovision.....I-I’m still interested in it, but other stuff’s been distracting me, just like last year. Luckily, it’s not....AS bad as last year? At this time last year, I was busy writing Naivete, the biggest project I’d ever done, and that was taking up most of my energy, so Eurovision was pushed to the side for a while (altho I was still able to fit it in). This time, my distractions aren’t as big - just been playing games and keeping up with idol crush, and that’s about it. I don’t really have an excuse to go quiet about it. XD

Some reminiscing about last year’s Eurovision below:

I remember how last year, I never did a final thoughts post like I usually do.....and....there’s a reason for that beyond laziness. I actually did sit down to write one, but....for the first time, I chickened out. It mainly had to do with the discourse around the winner that I’d been seeing here and there. I was intimidated. I wanted to give my opinions on it, but....it felt like, no matter what I said, it would’ve felt like the wrong thing to say, or like it wasn’t my business. S-so, I just....decided it wasn’t worth it, and skipped doing the post. I know I could’ve just talked about my thoughts on the rest of the scoreboard, but no matter what, if I made that post, I would’ve HAD to feel like I had to say SOMETHING about what I felt about Ukraine’s winning song. And now that it’s been almost a year, I feel like I can share my thoughts more comfortably now, so here’s the abridged version of what I wanted to say: I believe that it wasn’t because of pity that they won. That was a really cool song, it was unique, stood out, was insanely catchy, and Ukraine have always had a good track record. The song would’ve been winner material any other year as well. However, I do believe that it WAS because of pity that they won by THAT much specifically (over four hundred points from the televote). And my thoughts on the rest of the results was that I more or less agree with everything except thinking Finland and ESPECIALLY France were robbed. I liked the year overall, and yup, that’s about it.

But, it’s in the past, and that felt good to finally get out of my system. XD Yeah, I dunno how that would’ve gone over with people who care about my opinions last year, pffffff....

One final note is that....in hindsight: while I did like the overall collection of songs in 2021 better than in 2022......in terms of just my favorite song, 2022 wins. While I do have songs I adore every year, I cannot overstate how OBSESSED I was with “Jezebel”, like.....i-in a way I haven’t been obsessed with a single Eurovision entry in years. That song was EVERYTHING to me, and I still love it a year later even with other song obsessions since then. Cuz of that, I’m not expecting anything of that level from this year, cuz I’d most likely disappoint myself by setting my standards too high. Still pretty hyped to see what kind of songs my favorites will be, tho! ^^

[rocketdive]

mcr/bmth report (kinda)

wall of text under cut

also no, this wasn’t we were young fest 

queueing so i can think about it later

mcr finally happened after hanging on to those tickets for 2 years

Honestly was not expecting them to be so incredibly good live, idk what i was thinking

i also went to do something on the way to the concert and ran into someone i kinda know

ootd: (when you wanna be a nerd at 6pm, but have an mcr concert to attend at 7:30 pm)

too lazy embarrassed to do emo makeup in public

also fuck when i got to the venue i probably chose the longest line for the loo and the slowest merch line

really wanted to get that bag (and i did)

got a bag for me bag as well

talked myself out of getting a shirt tho

was it worth 1.5 hrs tho 

literally was in the merch line for both openers

also me yelling at one of the dudes to get the plastic merch bag XD ...because he was about to refuse it 

when i finally found my seat, at least the girl in front of me was totally rocking out / seemed pretty cool even tho we didn’t talk

we didn’t get gerard way’s fashion show (i think???) for my date, but dad hat came out

also i am not used to his speaking voice

Gerard way has some absolutely feral screams

^ an entire mood

He had some programming thing to add microphone effects, which was cool

Also the whole time i was just like…. I’m also in the same room as frank and mikey and ray!!!!!!

(lmao finally seeing thee mikey fucking way in the flesh)

Ray jumping around

Ray kneeling while doing his guitar thing at the end

There was that one song where gerard was trying to get ray to sing along as well

we also sang happy birthday

stoked that we got vampires for that date

Backdrop changed 3 times? There was 1st to curtain drop reveal of the backdrop, and then lights on for the backdrop

ALSO HOLY I DIDN’T REALIZE THE ENTIRE SET WAS 20 SONGS NO WONDER IT FELT SO LONG

didn’t run into my brother’s ex lmaooooo

honestly was kinda saving energy for bmth / made the wrong shoe choice and entered me back hurty time :c

          anyhoos

bmth was really good

like REALLY good

i think that might be an understatement

tb very h i enjoyed bmth more than mcr

their video was ON POINT

Like at points they instructed the crowd to form a pit or sit down

"Illegal substances are strictly prohibited, please consume them immediately" (something along those lines)

honestly really glad that my friend was being an enabler / & that i actually went

Was watching some recording of the NY show and they didn’t have confetti to open

Also the confetti was heart shaped (but i couldn’t tell from where i was)

And then red streamer confetti during throne

at some point, oli acquired a light up devil horn headband and he put it on

It also flashed

Oh apparently oli had bloody makeup or something but obvs couldn’t see it

the girl next to me was really cool! and peeps in front of me were totally vibing

Can you feel my heart into happy song is such a mood

Ngl, the newer songs / post that’s the spirit were kinda…weaker with the crowd

Except maybe teardrops? Dear diary? Maybe parasite eve?

Sandpit turtle shadow moses was so good live

Kingslayer was a rave / literally oli calling it a rave song

Also not me and temp concert buddy doing the babymetal parts of the chorus lmaooooooooooo

Accidentally butt recorded most of diamonds

Also wtf they played diamonds

(i cannot remember lyrics part 65431235768767)

Follow me was acoustic

Lgbtq flag ^

Forgot which song towards the end, oli was telling people to get on each other’s shoulders

Mosh pit for knocked loose was just as described/expected

Literally first song starts and their vocalist is calling for a pit

imo, GA went harder in the pit during KL than bmth

i’m going to put “saw kl live and was completely ok” on my resume

ok coz everyone talks about how ridiculously chaotic kl is, to make an analogy in terms of spice tolerance level, -> handling the spice level is not an issue for me, it’s just not a flavor i really like or dislike, but also a flavor that i would be ambivalent about/wouldn’t mind trying again IF it just happened to present itself to me (as in, i wouldn’t go seeking it out, but would be down if it was just readily there)

Honestly the pits during bmth looked weaker than the ones for KL

esp the one where oli was doing the whole “PUSH IT BACK YOU PUSSIES”

(also for the record i did not get a GA/pit ticket because i am a pansy / was recovering from mcr/ I’M GETTING OLD)

i didn’t realize Grandson was so openly political

I think some dude in a wheelchair crowdsurfed during his set?

Siiickbrain had some pretty sick vocals / screams

10/10 would do it again

[penname-artist]

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

GODDAMN IT MAN, WHY XD

*counts flowers* 11, alright-

I just bought a Japanese floor mattress (called a shikibuton) and I've got high hopes for it. I'll definitely let you guys know what my thoughts are after sleeping with it for a few nights, I think it should be here on Tuesday or so. Fingers crossed it's worth the $190 I paid for it!

I want to put a fun aesthetic to my speeddrawing videos. I have a neat little basket with a clasp on the front and I want to pull out random shit from it every day. Also I have a weird ceramic ladle that sits over a tealight candle and I have no idea what it's for but it looks super cool and I want to use it.

I'm amazing myself right now at how many "healthy alternatives" I've been going for literally just because I can. I dropped my amount of sugar in coffee from three and a half spoons to barely one and I have no idea how I did it??? I prefer banana chips over normal chips now? I crave trail mix and applesauce??? Help??? Even my mom was like "That's really impressive, you're young, most kids your age eat junk food all day" and I'm like "I kNoW I ThINk I'm dYInG!"

Geckos inside of your house are seen as a symbol of good luck in some cultures. I must have been blessed somehow because we had to safely capture and remove a baby gecko from my ceiling like a week ago. He was so smol.

Although I'm past my "listening to it every day on repeat" phase, Conan Gray's "Memories" is still currently my #1 favorite song, which is weird because normally I don't have a favorite but now I do, so

Asked mom "give me something to write down, anything" and she goes "I [meaning me] have horses on my ceiling fan". And I do.

I've been playing the new Slime Rancher 2 for the last couple days and it is ADORABLE and the lighting is SO GOOD and I'm enjoying it. The grind is way harder BUT I am enjoying it

I really hope I can remember this but I have a "line a day" 5-year memory book and I intend to start it January 1st, 2023. I'm excited to spend five years of one-liners in it, but also I'm a little bit ahead of the game, if my seven journals worth of detailed storytelling over the past two and a half years are anything to go by

You remember that weird "Laurel vs Yanny" video? I can only ever hear Laurel, just, for the record

Tips for existing in the world with major anxiety issues: 1) bring a fidget toy just in case, 2) locate safe spaces such as bathrooms, bench seats, and quiet places to chill when you are pent up, 3) if you get low on energy while out and start going into shutdown mode, bring a little snack of a yummy food, eating may help, 4) don't try to overexert yourself if you know it's going to get worse, just don't do it, know your limits, 5) bring a notepad and a pencil or a pen and peoplewatch for fun, 6) you can also play fun word games on your notepad, like writing the letters of a word and then making more words with their letters (side note: "pretzel sticks" was so far one of my most word-packed words ever)

I'm deeply debating taking large amounts of time to write random and entirely non relative listings of obscure hobbies I have an interest in.

[thenovelartist]

Burned Beginnings, chapter 1

Novel decided to do Adrienette April on a whim. Each post until the end of April (or such is the plan) will have 3 prompts in it.

She also discovered she’s very rusty. Bear with me here. XD

Next>>

1. AU

Marinette had thought she’d grown used to Chloe’s bullying, having to had endure it since they were little. However, with high school came a new name that became a regular part of Chloe’s vocabulary, alongside “hot” and “sexy” and “dreamboat”.

“And Marinette would never catch the eye of someone so perfect.”

Honestly, Marinette had thought she was over it, but on a particularly bad day, she’d snapped back at Chloe.

“Well, clearly he isn’t that perfect if he fawns over someone whose only redeeming quality is pretending to be pretty.”

That had led to a fire alarm getting pulled and Marinette left to blame for it. Anyone who tried to come to her defense was shut down, and Marinette had been suspended.

Which had started an all-out war.

After being stuck at home, wrongfully, for three solid days, Marinette had snapped. She’d decided that if Chloe was going to build a bonfire and poor on the gasoline that she would be there with a match. By senior year, Marinette’s record had taken a hit for it but Chloe’s reputation was in the toilet.

Marinette would take what she could get.

However, she supposed she hadn’t fully thought out the consequences. As much as she played with fire, she should have realized she’d get burned sooner or later.

And she did. Third degree.

We regret to inform you your application has been denied.

Those were words she grew tired of seeing yet came back from every school she applied to. With that in mind, she’d called up her girl friends to tell them what had happened.

“Hey, Marinette,” Alya had said upon seeing the letters. “Don’t get me wrong, I feel really bad for you. But… I did warn you—”

“I get it,” Marinette had surrendered, knowing that Alya was completely right. “You tried to warm me of the consequences, and now I’m paying for them.”

The girls had slipped into a moment of silence before Alix spoke up. “Hey, I can ask Max if he can do a little digging so you at least know why, yeah?”

Marinette had raised a brow but agreed. “Only if he’s not busy with his own college stuff.”

“Oh please, he’s too smart for college. He started up some robotics company in his free time and is already making bank on it.”

It took a week for Max to come back with a full report. Marinette had to give him props for working fast as he did.

“Hacking into the system was the first thing I could think of,” he’d explained. “In the side notes, there was mention of your attendance record and suspensions.”

“They were all wrongful suspensions,” Alix had countered.

“Doesn’t matter to the school,” Max had said with a shrug. “But even then, I thought there had to be more to this than just attendance. There were other students who had the same notes yet were accepted. So I shifted focus to digging up background on all the directors of the school. After hacking a few emails, I discovered Audrey Bourgeois happens to know a lot of directors or administration members in all the fashion schools of France. Considering the contents of most of those emails, it has become clear that Marinette was wrongfully barred from every school she’d applied to. And that there’s nothing that can be done about it because we only discovered such scandal through highly illegal means.”

“So…” Alya had begun, turning her attention to Marinette. “Where does that leave you, M?”

Marinette’s lips had pursed in thought. It was funny how things turned out, because despite her anger, she somehow had been peace with what she was faced with. “I think that the last place I want to be is in an industry full of liars and people who use their words to manipulate anyone they damn well please.”

That was how she ended up working full-time in her parents’ bakery. They never said a word about it, but she knew they were disappointed. Of course they weren’t mad about her still being here and working in the bakery with them, and she knew her parents still loved her more than anything.

But she knew that with as many dreams as she had and had shared with them, they were disappointed on her surrendering it all.

“Sorry, Maman, Papa,” she whispered into the empty kitchen as she plopped the baguettes she formed onto a baking tray. “Just give me a little time to figure things out. Seems like lofty dreams are a lot easier to crush than I realized.”

 2. Rebellion

A son can only bear the world of their parent’s expectations for so long. He wasn’t Atlas, but after a few years of acting like him, Adrien decided to dump the globe. To hell if it broke. He’d smirk in satisfaction at his father’s disappointment.

At the very least, the fact he no longer had the weight of the world of his shoulders made the far-too-common disappointment lecture easier to bear.

His strategic rebellion had started harmless enough. At sixteen with a rapidly growing forced modeling career, he’d given his father an ultimatum: he gets to grow out his hair, or it all goes. It had been shocking the amount of power the razor in his hand had given him. It was the perfect harmless threat. His father had been furious, throwing a fit about Adrien acting like a child, but after being gaslit for so long, Adrien had finally come to realize the abusive techniques for what they were. And he wasn’t going to roll over and take it any longer.

That day had ended with Adrien being grounded but ultimately the victor of their stand-off.

After that, he’d begun ditching certain events. He’d always liked fencing, so he never ditched those lessons, but attendance for his home-school lessons, mandarin lessons, and piano lessons had all been decided on a whim. His father had hardly been pleased by this, but to Adrien, that was the point. The lectures soon washed into one another so much that Adrien could practically recite the words that roll off his father’s tongue verbatim. He’d come to realize they were strategically meant to hurt. To humiliate. And as such, he’d stopped taking them personally.

Then came the fun part.

He got earrings. Honestly, Adrien hadn’t really cared for the piercings one way or another. In one way, there were a hassle, and caring for new piercings was a pain in the butt. However, they had been worth it to see his dad so royally pissed off.

Then came the ditching of certain photoshoots. There was a reason Adrien had held off on this one for so long: he cared about the people running the shoot. There was no reason they needed to be collateral in this battle between him and his father. After all, they were just employees doing their job; Adrien didn’t want them to suffer for his rebellion. With that in mind, Adrien had planned out his absences of these photoshoots. Again, he didn’t want to drag anyone else into his mess, so he had always organized a replacement model. Shoot would always go on, just not as planned.

And that was enough to drive his father mad.

It always put a smile on Adrien’s face.

The last touch was an unexpected one. He hadn’t even thought about going this far. Yet, a friend of his not only put the idea in his head, but gave him the art to go with it.

“Is that a tattoo?”

Oh, how he wished he would have taken a picture of his father’s face. The large black cat surrounded in a green, wispy smoke that wrapped around his forearm was truly a work of art. He’d had to think carefully about this decision, but in the end, he quite liked it.

“Yeah. I’m eighteen; I can ink myself if I want to. Why? Is that a problem?”

Adrien might be wearing a cat on his arm, but the grin on his lips was downright wolfish.

Eventually, it all had come to a head and blew up in his face. Adrien couldn’t say he’d been surprised. In fact, he had been fully expecting it. He’d already found an apartment to rent and had begun sneaking most of his important things over there before his father could kick him out. So when Adrien found himself kicked to the curb as soon as he was handed his general education certificate, Adrien had been prepared.

But mostly, he was free.

What a joyous day it was.

However, now that he was free, he knew he needed a job. Not because he needed the money, per se, but because it was time he started acting like the average adult. He never got to go to school, so now, it was time to pick up a mundane, first job that everyone hated but would “serve him well later in life”. Mostly, it would just be something normal.

The easy places to apply were food shops and retail stores. He’d work one for a while before deciding what his next life step would be. Chloe had been quick to offer him a job at her father’s hotel, but Adrien was vehemently against the idea. Over the span of his rebellion, Chloe’s behavior and attitude towards him had grown notably worse, and he had a feeling cutting ties with her would be his next step in life.

In the end, he’d scored a job he definitely was underqualified for. He’d applied partly out of spite and partly because ‘why not?’ He’d heard about this bakery enough times from Chloe to know the “cruel bitch who did nothing but mercilessly harass her” lived here, and that was enough to pique Adrien’s curiosity. At a bakery as popular as that, though, he hadn’t been sure he’d get a call. And when he did, he knew he would do everything he could to present himself as a reliable and respectable man eager to work, but he never thought he’d end up hitting it off with the owner.

Which somehow ended up with him agreeing to work at Tom and Sabine’s Patisserie.

Going into that job, he swore to himself he would do what he could to prove himself worthy. He knew there had to have been better applicants, so Adrien didn’t want to disappoint the very kind owners who dared give him a chance. Soon, his days were spent working hard while covered in flour and surrounded by bread all day. Well, bread and all the sharp and hot objects in your average kitchen.

He just didn’t think that would include a wicked sharp and smoking hot young lady that happened to be his bosses’ daughter.

 3. Game Night

“Mama, Papa, please go. You two hardly ever get out of the house.”

Marinette watched her maman put a hand over the mouthpiece of her phone while her papa turned to her. “But I’ll be busy that night. We have a massive order scheduled for the next day.”

“I can handle that,” Marinette quickly countered with a grin. “You know I’m a night owl, anyway. I’ll get it done, and you two can go enjoy game night with your friends.”

Her parents spared each other a glance. “Are you sure about that, Marinette?” Maman asked.

“Positive. Papa already talks to the bread too much, so he really should talk to people for a change. And while you have to deal with people all day, I know you want more than to just have short conversations filled with small talk. So please, go out and have a social life for once.”

With one last look, her parents relented. With a smile, her mother took her hand off the phone. “We’ll be there.”

Papa turned to her with a grin. “I was going to spend that time teaching Adrien how to handle those orders. I can leave teaching him in your hands, right?”

Her grin fell. Adrien Agreste. What the hell a washed-out model was doing working at her parents’ bakery was beyond her. Admittedly, over the last month she’d been working with him, the most she’d say is that maybe he wasn’t too bad a guy. Papa certainly sung his praises. But that still didn’t answer the question of why he was working here of all places. After all, he was Chloe’s friend and suspected lover.

“Don’t think I don’t see that look on your face, Marinette,” her maman chastised. She’d hung up and set her phone down already, fully giving her attention to her daughter. “No matter your personal feelings, you really should give him a chance.”

“He’s a good kid,” Papa said. “Maybe a little rough around the edges, but I can tell he really does want to learn and do his best.”

Marinette sighed. This wasn’t the first time this talk had happened. She remembered having a talk with her parents after his first interview. There were a few other people who were far more qualified for the job, but Papa said he liked Adrien’s personality and spirit the best. So in the end, all Marinette’s objections had fallen upon deaf ears.

She sighed. “Fine. I’ll give him a chance.”

With a smile that made Marinette loath to disappoint him, her papa patted her head affectionately. “Thank you, Marinette. I think you’d like him if you got to know him.”

Not likely. “I’ll do my best, Papa.”

“Really, Marinette,” her maman warned. “Unless you have a valid reason, you need to put aside your feelings for the sake of the bakery running smoothly. Can you manage that?”

Appropriately chastised, Marinette bowed her head in embarrassment. Maman brought up a good point: Marinette shouldn’t let her anger towards Adrien affect the bakery. Her parents didn’t deserve that. “Yes, Maman. I’m sorry.”

With a smile, her maman came up and wrapped her in a hug. “Thank you, Marinette.”

Marinette hugged her back. “No, thank you, Maman and Papa, for everything. I won’t let you down.”

Papa wrapped his arms around both her and Maman. “Thank you, sweetheart. We love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[agnesmontague]

I posted 6,054 times in 2021

567 posts created (9%)

5487 posts reblogged (91%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 9.7 posts.

I added 3,509 tags in 2021

#tma - 1603 posts

#rambles - 580 posts

#sailor moon - 240 posts

#food - 226 posts

#art - 192 posts

#vibes - 161 posts

#fashion - 159 posts

#animals - 134 posts

#deltarune - 109 posts

#fave - 105 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#me about to pursue an art history doctorate after i finish what i'm doing now and write a book of nonsense about how it all relates together

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

there’s something therapeutic about imagining a broadway-style curtain call at the end of magnus. tim and sasha appear from each side of the stage to wave at the audience, sasha holding not!sasha’s hand. elias and peter bow deeply in unison. michael and helen poke each other playfully with their long fingers and pop in and out of different doors before disappearing. gerry comes onstage in a flurry of papers and brings eric and mary with him. annabelle is lowered onto the stage from a hanging platform like a diva to thunderous applause. simon and mike crew hoot and wave at the audience from a high platform and pop away simultaneously when the spotlight turns off. nikola and jane swing each other in a wild dance that makes the stage shake. gertrude appears alone and does an elegant curtsey. daisy+basira and melanie+georgie appear together, arms linked, and all four do a bow together. finally, after everything has quieted down, jon and martin appear from either side, and as the curtain falls, they join hands.

3440 notes • Posted 2021-03-26 04:55:59 GMT

#4

i consider myself an expert in the field

3621 notes • Posted 2021-05-03 15:01:55 GMT

#3

anyone else bothered by the slow disappearance of websites for kids and the integration of children into sites meant for adults. as a kid i spent most of my time online on websites like girlsgogames, club penguin, barbie.com, moshi monsters, etc. etc. now 7 year olds just use tiktok. 

[op was a terf so i copied the post]

6710 notes • Posted 2021-12-06 17:58:06 GMT

#2

trans rights and lives will always be legitimate and worth fighting for so terfs die mad

[original post: you know what i think really slaps? the fact that every generation of teens online have grown up with personality quizzes. when i was a teen we had quizilla. before the rise of buzzfeed they were ubiquitous in magazines and a bunch of sites had flash personality quizzes that played like games. now we have uquiz. entire chunks of the internet might be getting phased out someday but on god we have our right to find out which fruit best represents our personality]

20565 notes • Posted 2021-11-01 00:26:03 GMT

#1

so i just learned that after disney+ debuted disney shut down a huge chunk of its tv channels around the world such as disney channel and disney XD including the ones in south korea, so for old times’ sake i just spent a good hour or so watching channel shutdown compilations and 90% of these worldwide disney channels just.... got absolutely no sendoff whatsoever. many of them got their plug pulled right in the middle of a show without even waiting for the episode to finish airing and there was no ending jingle or even a voiced-over announcement, only a sudden cut to a soulless monotone blank screen with “this channel is no longer available.” like the stuff of childhood nightmares 

you’d think a company with such a family-friendly image would take the time to at least explain briefly to its very young audience that all their fave shows will be moving to another service or something, hell, at least do it for advertisements’ sake so that kids can pester their parents into buying disney+, but disney does not care about you and it does not care about your children and it will absolutely snatch the last shred of comfort from a kid’s hands if it means they don’t have to spend an extra $400 recording an ending announcement in different languages

and honestly i am just sitting here with my heart in my throat like. none of our current art is truly permanent, is it. we like to think that we have better documentation and archiving technology than generations past but all it really takes is for one megacompany to slap some copyright tape over its comic book villain safe and then toss that safe in the ocean for all it’s worth. youtube could potentially choose to do the same and simply wipe its entire site clean overnight. adobe decided to throw flash in the garbage and decades worth of internet content just.... disappeared from reach. i am begging every digital creator out there to backup your content to as many outlets as you possibly can. use different cloud services that aren’t owned by one company. use physical usb drives and hard drives. if programs you used to open your work become obsolete at least document what it was so it can be passed on and remembered by people who want to. jesus christ i need a drink

35948 notes • Posted 2021-10-24 17:46:34 GMT

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