#had i known i would have saved them.

[odysseys-blood]

whoever decided this was a good idea to stick in the pass as a mission i want you to know i hate you sooooo bad.

[puppppppppy]

renaissance dogys

characters belong to @canisalbus

[mohntilyet]

i’m having illario dellamorte thoughts. what if instead of knowingly betraying lucanis he did it like, unknowingly. idk how this would work but i’m intrigued by what it gives us. illario ‘i accidentally caused my cousin’s death & can never tell anyone’ dellamorte. genuinely grieving. blaming himself. does he take advantage of the year before lucanis comes back?? does caterina still ignore him the whole time?? how different is the canon plotline once rook shows up with lucanis post-rescue…..

anyways i would love your thoughts!!

95% of what i do with illario operates on the idea that he is frighteningly competent so you can see why the way the crows plotline plays out in the game might frustrate me. it’s also this reason why i don’t actually think too much about “illario got lucanis killed, but didn’t mean to do it”, because i like the idea that everything illario does in his life is planned to the second and that he’s too well trained to mess up this badly, if that makes sense. with that being said. 5% of my brain power does sometimes go towards “and what if he just sucked actually” and it was a theory i enjoyed before the game even released. so i have in fact been thinking about this anyway LOL . maybe he tries to honeypot zara, accidentally actually reveals lucanis’ next assassination job, and zara gets rid of him as a ‘gift’. illario is horrified and that gets even worse when lucanis’ body shows up, and he assumes this must be because he spurned zara by leaving her and not having the guts to seize power.

i think we could make his inferiority complex worse. illario’s worst fear confirmed: he is as worthless as his grandmother believes he is, botching something so badly that he accidentally sentences his cousin to death when what he wanted was lucanis just… out of the way for a bit (maybe while he kills caterina. LOL. i still think his resentment of caterina trumps his jealousy for lucanis though those two things are very intertwined its hard for him to differentiate them). so incapable that he got the only person who actually supports him killed, and now he’s dreading the idea of becoming first talon. he doesn’t want first talon without lucanis backing him, and now the only person left is caterina which is suffocating and makes him even unhappier. at least he hadn’t lived through her alone, and now through consequences of his own decisions, illario has no choice but to.

i think that would affect his plans for talon because of how horribly he’d fucked up, and tries to mask it because if he suddenly actually doesn’t want to be talon that would be a red flag for everyone. lucanis coming back would delight him (talon is within his sights again if lucanis comes back!) and freak him out. i think the plotline would actually be pretty similar because of this freak out, so he still shows up to zara’s fight to cover his tracks. lucanis can never know, caterina can never know, because what little faith they have in him will be lost. like he committed fratricide and didn’t even MEAN to😭 ...corpse whispering still happens, and zara is like “ohhh that coward. he can never finish what he started, can he?” + “elaborate.” + “i gave him what he most wanted in the world and instead of being grateful, he ran away.” so lucanis finds out about what happened but feels a mix of “illario, you idiot” + pity because turns out he didn’t even mean for it to happen, and keeps his secret for now, otherwise he’d probably have to kill him.

i also think not meaning to kill lucanis would sour his feelings towards the venatori, who are a reminder of how badly he failed, so the alliance wouldn’t happen. this does mean if the story goes on as it does in canon, he has to take desperate measures another way and kidnap caterina for some other reason but i can’t think of why….. maybe a thing where illario is like “ok. lucanis is distracted by the elven gods. this time i just have to kill nonna for real and then nothing is in my way” and recruits disgraced houses or houses that don’t like caterina to do so? not sure tbh but i don’t believe caterina made it so far without making enemies lol. this would happen post bloodbath + corpse whispering— lucanis leaves his cousin unchecked because while he knows illario didn’t mean for him to die, he has no idea how far he would go to have caterina dead. teia could find out about this and send word to foil the kidnapping and assassination attempt

so ‘murder of crows’ is still about saving caterina, the illario-lucanis fight still happens, but it’s a little more hesitant and lots of “why won’t you just let me kill her? i’m doing this for the both of us”. he’s had to live with being the un-favorite, but never would have thought lucanis would actually pick caterina if it came down to it. with all of his missteps here, i think the final decision (and i think it should be like this in canon anyway) would be to imprison illario or kill him. imprisoning him is just a lot of “i can’t kill illario as much as he couldn’t kill me”, vs killing him as is expected from him as talon, and what he knew he would have to do after finding out about illario's failures. unlike canon, where illario is actually meaning to kill him and can be seen as a 'good crow' despite the sloppiness, here he's like. just bad at everything. the allied traitor houses that went against caterina would also have to be imprisoned or killed. no happy ending at all here, and lucanis still becomes first talon. now that i’ve written it out this is actually probably the worst ending LOL

the above sticks a lot to what is canon to the game (plot points, choices, etc) and i didn’t go very far away from it so it's like canon 3 inches to the left. tho my thoughts on this are not fleshed out* because i think illario works better as an antagonist character that sets things in motion !! not necessarily the villain in a cain-abel story, but a character who opposes lucanis while still not wanting to hurt him. that kind of discipline where he finds a way to get what he wants (first talon) without compromising what he also cares for (family) is so much more fun for me than a man who apparently just loses it and decides to enact a bad plan to get rid of his cousin. if he waited 20+ years to become talon i think he’d be more careful when it came down to it. if i had my way illario would be playing insane 5d chess to rival solas (insert black sails “i once thought that to lead, to be liked was just as good as feared. and that may very well be true. but to be both liked and feared all at once, is an entirely different state of being.”)

[blue-mood-blue]

Danmei Faves Meet Chopped: The Thought Experiment

(with the caveat that I have not read All The Danmei so actually this is “a limited selection of danmei faves” meet chopped) (also as of their official translations, no spoilers pls)

The Contestants:

1) Xie Lian

Pros: There is not one single thing that you could put into a basket that this man would be intimidated by. Not a single thing. He will cook anything that you hand to him, and be delighted to do so. You cannot phase him with unlikely ingredients or conflicting flavor profiles, he has risen above these concerns. He is smiling at everything he pulls out of the basket and probably scaring the other contestants in the process.

Cons: He might kill someone. Not on purpose. He will be out after round one, guaranteed, once the medics standing by in case of cuts intervene for a severe case of “all the judges are now poisoned.” Filming will probably have to stop so ambulances can be called. The crew generously allows him to take his leftovers with him.

2) Wei Wuxian

Pros: He is going to pack so much flavor in every bite! Every single bite! This man knows and embraces spice, and no one will be able to tell him that his meal is bland or underseasoned! Chili oil all over the damn plate!

Cons: The flavor is pain, he’s used every pepper the pantry has, and if he makes it to round two it’s only because of Xie Lian accidentally unleashing the horrors in round one.

3) Mo Ran

Pros: He’s a good cook! He makes a variety of dishes, and he’s gotten used to adjusting recipes for specific preferences. He’s well-traveled so it’s likely he’s encountered many ingredients and had practice in a variety of conditions, which is good experience to have in this competition. He’s been doing his best to be on his best behavior, but heaven help anyone who monopolizes the fryer.

Cons: Again - he’s been on his best behavior, but that’s really for one person who is not currently in the kitchen. He also only really cooks for one person, who has particular tastes.

4) Luo Binghe

Pros: Also a good cook! He, too, has a range of dishes he knows how to prepare, with years of practice going back (probably) as far as his adoption in his early childhood. He is well-traveled as well, with such exciting and… unique locales such as Hell Dimension (aka Endless Abyss) where he probably had to make… questionable culinary choices, so he probably won’t be thrown by whatever’s in the basket.

Cons: There’s a non-zero chance that there’s blood in the food.

(Of this particular line-up, I think it would come down to Mo Ran vs. Binghe for the dessert round, which will be a close call - they both have experience with desserts, I imagine, but I think Mo Ran might have a slight advantage considering Chu Wanning’s sweet tooth. He’s made a lot of sweets and more often. Also, can Binghe lean on a “protagonist halo” when Mo Ran is the protagonist of his own story?)

(Assuming the final round doesn’t devolve into chaos and sabotage, which… is very, very possible.)

The Non-Contestants:

Hua Cheng: Could he do well on chopped? Almost certainly. But why would he? He is here to cheer on gege.

Lan Wangji: Would probably actually do better than Wei Wuxian, if he cooks the meal to Wei Wuxian’s taste - I feel like he would be a little more sparing with the spice. Otherwise, his food is probably too bland for the judges.

Chu Wanning: He has one good dish, and it’s [redacted]. He could last a round but after that he’s probably out. He will do his best. He will not look like he is panicking (he is panicking).

Shen Qingqiu: A millennial who choked to death on bad food and rage. He probably has limited kitchen skills, but beyond the powers of having a microwave? Who knows.

Bonus Round:

Li Yu: He would try so hard. He would put every bit of skill he had on the table. He does not have any skill to put on the table. Do not put a fish in his basket, do not do this to him.

Mu Tianchi: Probably wouldn’t even compete. He’s going to steal Li Yu’s food from the judges. How dare they.

Chang Geng: He could probably do well in the competition, if he could be convinced to compete, but he probably couldn’t. He is smiling very politely at the producer, who is feeling a chill down their spine and backing away slowly.

Gu Yun: Do not let this man in the kitchen, he will cause problems on purpose.

[squidaped-oyt]

Would've loved to be a fly on the wall when Rook de Riva had to explain the entire eluvian situation to Viago

[lokh]

oughh i wanted to do a cute laishuro take on the blu ray extras (what if laios had been eaten instead) but lets be honest. they absolutely would not have made it as far without laios

[trevisos]

got sick and had to play this scene again

[andreal831]

Let me get this straight, in TVDU:

We blame amnesic Elijah, who erased his memories seven years before Hayley's death, for Hayley's death when he didn't even know who she was and didn't actually kill her.

But we don't blame Kol for Davina's death when he was the one that actually drained her of blood because the ancestors were controlling him.

And we don't blame Freya for torturing and kidnapping Keelin because she did it for family.

And we don't blame Klaus for nearly killing Caroline twice because it was romantic when he saved her from his own venom.

And we don't blame Klaus for nearly strangling Hayley to death because he was just scared of being a father.

Just wanted to make sure I understood where the fandom stands on this. andrea831 metas

[cator99]

I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care

[snailvibes]

I feel like people don’t talk about Chloe’s prophetic dream stuff enough (I know why it’s because half this fan base hates bts)

[endawn]

thinking more about hunger trying to re-possess pax again and -

[victorluvsalice]

-->Anyway – once Smiler was done with their sale, I had them pack up the stand and the food, all while Janae – our Customer Of The Day – kept chatting with them (possibly hoping for another hit of that sweet sweet pumpkin spice). I realized that they’d probably had enough good interactions for a thirsty Smiler to get a drink off her –

But then I thought, “Wait, it’s Night On The Town. And I don’t want Smiler to have a bad holiday – maybe I should have the gang hit a bar real quick so they can order a Plasma Jane? Aw, but that doesn’t help poor Marm – really, he should ignore this holiday, he doesn’t freaking eat–

“...hold on a second. I learned earlier with Victor and Alice that it doesn’t matter if you GET the food, only that you ORDER it.” Pause. “Oh, ALEAH~”

XD Yes, in a twist move, that stupid glitchy food stall proved to be the key to making sure ALL of my Sims successfully completed the holiday, not just the ones capable of eating normal human food! I had Smiler go ahead and hit up Janae for the drink (which she gave willingly) while directing Marm to fly over to the stall to order a carrot cupcake (he took his book with him, amusingly – the library’s going to want that back, Marm!). Sure enough, Aleah closed up shop the moment he ordered, and he successfully fulfilled the tradition – I then just let him hang out until Smiler could fly over and unsuccessfully order a drink to successfully complete the holiday. XD This game is fucking bizarre sometimes… But yeah, I was pretty happy to have turned the glitch to my advantage, and resolved to just let everyone hang out until Alice finished her jog up to the Prescott house…

-->Aaaand then it started raining again. And when I tried to get Marm to fly back inside the library, he wouldn’t do it, instead just standing in the rain and losing durability at an alarming rate (at least until he remembered to put up his umbrella). Okay, time to head home then! I had Smiler make the call and get them back to the farm (where it was fortunately still dry), then had them give poor Marm a tune-up by the sign while Alice went to feed Toothy and Victor went back to the piano to keep working on his song. Alice then published both of the books sitting in her inventory (the “Tarts” book got sold to a regular publisher, while “Nicer Stories of Wonderland” got submitted to the literary digest) before heading upstairs to start a new one – a romance book called “Polyam-For-Me.” XD What can I say, I like a pun! While she wrote about her experiences as one side of the “hinge” between Victor, Smiler, and herself, Smiler finished Marm’s tune-ups, then went to put the laundry in the dryer while Marm flew off to practice some Simbles. *nods* Important party skill, that. :p I then noticed that both the radio in Smiler’s own room and in the party barn were broken, so I had Smiler fix both, then decided to keep them busy by having them upgrade the party barn stereo with “Super Reception” to get more stations and “Firaxium Wiring” to make it unbreakable. *shrug* They had the parts! Marm finished up their solo Simbles game, so I sent them to the living room to read the Herbalism skill book we got at some point (more skills, more enhancement data), then checked in on Alice –

-->And found her werewolf Fury getting worryingly high because I hadn’t realized her “I have to go outside” instincts had triggered. Whooops. I decided “okay, at this point, it’s just easier to knock you over than calm you down,” had her run out into the backyard, then had her transform, howl, scavenge, and mark her territory until she pushed herself into a RAMPAGE! Where I had her keep scavenging for a little bit (she picked up a ruby, which was nice), before having her regain control of herself and return to normal. XD Yeah, rampages are – really not a threat to her and her friends anymore – they’re more just a good opportunity to get werewolf XP. With her Fury cleared, I had her run back upstairs to get back to work on her book –

Aaaand she almost immediately finished it. XD Leaving her in a very focused mood where she felt capable of accomplishing great things (thanks to the book apparently being a masterpiece, nice). I thus sent her downstairs to paint –

And the day came to an end with Victor working on his song, Alice painting something impressionistic, Marm reading more books, and Smiler finishing up their radio upgrades. And all of them having had a successful Night On The Town! *whew* Another long playsession, but definitely a good one. And here is where I would normally give you a teaser of what's coming up in the next update –

Except. I unfortunately have some very sad news. I attempted to play Sims this past weekend, and discovered that I can no longer actually access the lot that Victor, Alice, Smiler, and Marm all live on in the Chill Valicer Save. It seems to have fallen victim to an infinite loading screen bug. I initially thought that the issue was related to Wonderful Whims in some way (judging by the Last Exception files I was getting trying to access the household), but after a few e-mails back and forth with "Husk" (who answered my query to the Wonderful Whims e-mail), my latest test revealed that the infinite loading screen happens even with an empty Mods folder. Meaning, unless Husk gets back to me with a definitive way on how to fix things, we're going to have to consider this the last Chill Valicer Save update. :( I will give you an update as things develop, but – yeah. At least this isn't a terrible note to end things on?

[crazyspookies]

ill have to look at the thing again but it's frustrating that i finished the episode and didn't quite understand what happened.

[philautia-agape]

She veemo on my woomy til I splatoon

.

[odysseys-blood]

HIIIII MEDUSAAAA

[katelynnwrites]

the way arsenal announced that they're going to australia a couple weeks after i've already booked my plane ticket to go there next month is slightly rude.