#had a really busy few months so no time for games at all rip

[simspaghetti]

Hello again Piccolos!

☑️ Master a Non-Required Skill (Gardening) +1 ☑️ Master the Martial Arts Skill +1 Current Gen2 Points: 21

[jarofstyles]

Flower

Hello… here is another mini series I started even tho I have other things I definitely need to finish…. But I’m kinda obsessed with them so I hope you guys like them 🫢

Check out our Patreon for early access to part 2 and 180+ exclusive writings!

WC- 2.8k

Warnings- y/n being oblivious, stupidly sweet h, things alluding to masturbation

“Y’know that isn’t normal for him, right?” Gia murmured as she came up next to Y/N. The low light of the bar had her squinting slightly, but thankfully the rock music wasn’t blaring too loud over the speakers over here. Coming after work, she had looked forward to meeting up with her friends for some much needed socialization- even if she was exhausted.

Confusion painted her features, looking at her friend with furrowed brows. “What are you talking about?” 

“Harry. He’s like, all over you. All the time” She looked over to the man  with a smirk, who had previously excused himself to participate in this round of pool. Y/N wasn’t much for the game so she stayed back in their seats, taking a moment to decompress. Or, try to. Sometimes it got a bit overwhelming with so many people talking at once.

“He’s just touchy, isn’t he?” Y/N had only known Harry for a few months, moving here to teach and one of her coworkers so kindly helped integrate Y/N  into her friend group. Harry owned a contracting business, actually, and Y/N had been getting lots of help from him on a variety of projects. Specifically, the latest project regarding his expertise in what sort of bannister she should have for the staircase. It was antique, and she didn’t want to be like those flippers she saw online who ruined the charm of old houses. If she wanted a brand new build, she would have bought one. “See?” 

Harry had his arm around Mitch, laughing about something probably a little dumb. The man was borderline tipsy but he’d just started his water rounds. He seemed to be an affectionate person, cuddly. At least to her and Mitch and Niall, all of whom seemed used to it. 

“Yeah, but not with women. He’s more reserved when it comes to them but not with you. Like… what was that before?” Her cheeks flushed slightly as dhe knew exactly when her friend was talking about. Harry had come back from the bar with their soft pretzel and another drink for her, and when he sat down she was promptly dragged into his lap. She’d let out a yelp but it turned into a laugh, settling in his thighs. Of course there was no admitting that her stomach had erupted in butterflies and she felt them kick up every time he rested his chin on her or squeezed her a little tighter to him. That the scent of his cologne had become something that grounded her anxiety in the moment, and it was weird how he seemed to be an anchor for her every time he pulled something like that. Somehow he just had that sort of effect on her.

Now that she mentioned it, she had noticed Sarah’s eyes widening when he did that, but she had assumed it was just for the pure audacity of a man manhandling a woman into his lap and ripping off a piece of cheese dipped pretzel and bringing it to her mouth. 

Y/N knew Harry was a cuddle bug. He was needy, like a pup, nosing and pawing his way into peoples hearts. But she assumed he did this sort of stuff with everyone. Maybe she wasn’t paying enough attention, but she had been too nervous to allow herself to think of his touches as flirtation. It would bring down the wall she’d tried to set there to not get her hopes up and look too deep into things. It had gotten her heart bruised a few times already. “Oh.” She replied, looking at her slowly emptying glass. “I, um, didn’t really think about that. He’s been pretty handsy for a long time.” He was also a flirt. Said things on purpose to make her flustered, but only in her ear so she’d get even more worked up. That was something he really liked to do- whisper in her ear or close to her to share something only with her. 

“Babes, you need to open your eyes. That man is completely gone for you. Smitten kitten. I was convinced you guys were secretly banging but I was trying to mind my business… but you mentioned a dating site earlier and I got confused.” She’d wholeheartedly thought they were already an item. “You need to talk to him or make a move or something. He’s all but pissed on you to claim you from the rest of the group, and he keeps looking over here to check on you. He acts like your boyfriend already, but there are more benefits you can cash in on if you just go for it.” She wiggled her brows making Y/N groan, hiding her head in her hands. 

She was way too sober for this conversation. 

Of course she had interest in Harry. Some feelings, even, but he’d never expressed interest in dating anyone. How could she not? He was almost unreal, checking loads of boxes she had in her mental list of ‘what my dream man would have’, including the dimple thing. The fact that he always said he was “waiting for the right one to find me”  when she’d ask floated back into her mind, clearing a bit of the fog that usually surrounded her when she thought about him. Had he been trying to tell her something?

Y/N could admit she wasn’t the most perceptive at times. She was a little oblivious, some could say, and didn’t read into signs well. The trait was something that used to get her into trouble when she was younger, her head always off in the clouds instead of where it needed to be according to the adults around her. It was possible she missed something, but she wanted to find out how to rectify that. 

“Speak of the devil…” Gia whispered, moving over a bit with a snicker as Harry seamlessly slipped back into the booth and ran his hand over her hair. Y/N felt his presence like a blanket, face turning to look at him and his concerned features. That little wrinkle between his brow she always noticed when he was upset or focusing heavily on something.

“Hi, petal. Something wrong? Headache?” He asked delicately in case the answer was yes. She got migraines frequently, as much as it sucked- but Harry had brought her some pain relievers while she was at work once to save her ass. God, her head was a mess but it wasn’t from the migraine this time around.

“No, I’m okay.” She lifted her head, feeling his hand slide under her hair to hold the back of her neck. Hopefully he wouldn’t see the chills settling on her skin as his thumb rubbed over the side of her throat, concern still etched on his features. “Was just a bit dehydrated but I’m fine now.” Her smile must not have been as convincing as she tried, his lips pursing as he shook his head. 

“Got t’be careful with eating the salty chips and then having the drinks… one glass isn’t gonna be enough.” He sighed. “Stay here for me, yeah? I’ll be right back, let me get you some water.” Without thinking he leaned in and pressed a peck to her temple, sliding back out of the booth leaving the spot tingling. Sitting there with rapidly blinking eyes, she watched the stretch of muscles flex under his tee shirt as he made his way towards the bar to order said water.

Okay. Yeah. Now that she mentioned it, she definitely knew he didn’t press little kisses to the rest of the girl’s heads, or give that amount of attention to her but… again, she had tried to ignore it. Tried not to get her hopes up.

“Girl… you’ve got to see it now.” Gia’s brows were raised up. “You’ve got him wrapped around your finger.” 

Maybe she was right. 

——

“I’m okay, H. I promise.” Y/N laughed out the words as he brought the straw back to her mouth and gave her a look. “Fine. But I’m gonna have t’piss soon if you keep force feeding water down my throat.” She shook her head as she took another drink, making a show of swallowing it. “See? Done.” 

Harry’s eyes had dipped down to her throat when she swallowed and back up to her mouth, taking a beat too long to respond. “Good. You… we can’t have you feeling poorly tomorrow. Are y’still up for it?” His hand was traveling around her body. Not in a sexual way, not really, but over her shoulders. Rubbing her arm. Cupping the back of her neck. Fiddling with her hair. For the first time, Y/N could consciously see what Gia was talking about. Maybe it was sad she needed someone else’s validation of it first, but now that she had it she didn’t feel as crazy for the emotions she felt. 

“Of course.” Harry was taking her to a sick used bookstore that he had helped remodel a few years back. When he found out she had gotten back into a reading mood lately, he’d suggested it immediately over text under the table, which now that she was thinking about it…. It was obviously to ensure it would be just the two of them. No one else.  He wanted to take her by herself, a little outing for just the two of them.

Stupid butterflies kicked in overdrive. “I’ve been dying to grab some new books.”

“I know. I remembered it when the owner called me a few days back about something and knew I had t’take you.” He grinned, leaning in a bit as he tucked the hair behind her ear. “I really hope you’ll like it.”

Y/N didn’t have much time to respond before the chatter got louder and the group that had gone back up to the bar for more drink ambled back and climbed into the booth. This time it wasn’t as much of a shock when she was scooped up into his lap, but it still made her hot under the skin. Her tummy swirled as he wrapped one solid arm around her and rested his chin on her shoulder, the other running over her thigh. It wasn’t suggestive, closer to her knee as he began to rub his thumb over the soft skin there. 

For some reason it was getting to her, making her worked up. The gentle touches, the wholesome nature of it made her feel a bit ashamed as she felt herself throb between her thighs, but it only got worse when he adjusted her in his lap, lifting her like it was nothing. Of course he had strength, the man hauled lumber by himself and did all sorts of superhuman shit when it came to construction, but it still shocked her every time she got to experience it first hand.

Taking a moment to think about it, it was always apparent that he was a beautiful man with a beautiful body. One thing that she really liked were his arms. Just as a whole. Hands, arms, how they’d built out a bit from all the hands on work. His hands could be a little rough with some callouses from those tools, but her grandma always did tell her that was the sign of a hard working man. It wasn’t something she focused on before because she had tried to deny the possibility of not only rejection but not being able to be in the friend group if things went sour..  At the moment she was past that. 

She could see the vein in his arm just a bit, near the anchor tattoo. His hand curled over her knee, almost possessively. This entire position was him claiming her. Realizing now he’d never pulled any of the other girls as close as he did her made her head spin. Hell, he really didn’t do much than give a friendly hug or hand to help them if they were stumbling. Fuck, he could actually feel something for her. Far past friendship.

“You’re quiet.” His words were so close they almost vibrated in her ear, making her startle a bit. “Shit, sorry Petal. Didn’t mean to scare you.” The little smile given to her made its way into her bloodstream, heating her up the longer he looked at her. “Why are you in your head, hm? Tired?” 

The way he spoke to her was so tender and sweet… gah! Now that she was allowing the possibility to be a thought, it was shaking her up. 

“Yeah, getting tired.” She wasn’t lying.  Her Friday classes had been a handful. That was the truth. “Need to take a long shower and sleep until an hour before you come to pick me up.” 

“Sounds like a good plan. What kind of soap or shampoo do you use?” He asked, a noticeable shift in his voice. A little deeper, softer for her ears only. It was intimate, she realized. How he spoke to her privately with her tucked in his lap. Her body melted further into him, but the lump in her throat had expanded from the realization. “You always smell fuckin’ amazing.” His nose skimmed over the side of her jaw making her exhale shakily. He was taking an inhale of her as he hugged her body against him. Her poor vibrator was in for it when she got home. 

“Uh- it’s like a coconut citrus mix?” She had to think about it. It was hard to focus on anything with her revelations at hand and the man of the hour touching her so liberally. Like she was his to touch. It wasn’t disrespectful and she knew he was the first person to read her body language- hell, he probably could read her mind better than she could process her own thoughts. But it was still sinking in, the feelings gripping her stomach. “Thank you. I try my best. No one wants to be stinky.” Nose crinkling in disgust, she felt him shake his head against her. 

“Trust me when I say you’re the best smelling person I’ve met. Wouldn’t complain if all my things smelled like you.” Oh? He didn’t elaborate, but there was a barely there kiss to the hinge of her jaw rendering her speechless. His reaction was to place his chin back on her shoulder, interjecting into Niall’s rant while Y/N sat there trying to process what that was. 

Deciding to test something made her really nervous, but she wanted to see what he’d do. While he was always the affectionate one and she never pushed him away, she didn’t usually return it as much. He always sought her out and she reciprocated but she wasn’t one to initiate a lot… so she wanted to see what he’d do. 

Letting out a yawn, she leaned her head against his shoulder and let her head nuzzle into his neck. Without saying a word, her hand went for his on her thigh and weaved their fingers together, pulling it further up her thigh. Holding his hand, she could feel his body stiffen ever so slightly for a mere moment and his heart rate pick up. His other arm around her tightened, thumb rubbing the back of her hand. “Comfy?” He mumbled to her.

“Mhm.” She nodded, letting his hand squeeze hers. He was just solid and sturdy. She could lean against him and feel protected in a way. Why she hadn’t tried this sooner she didn’t know, but she could hear his mood get better as he spoke. It was palpable, like he was vibrating a little bit, squeezing her hand every once in a while to remind her he was there. Or maybe it was for his own mind? 

It continued like this for a bit until everyone decided to get going, Harry being the last to stand. He was gentle about helping her off his lap, beating her to get on his feet and offered his hand to her to help her up. “C’mon, sleepy Flower. Time for your shower and sleep. Can’t have you too tired for the selection of books, hm?”  His hand steady on the small of her back, he led her to the car with a bit of a delay as they said good, a hug tight and lifting her off the ground a bit as he did so before having her promise to text when she got home. 

She fulfilled the promise, as well as her guilty vibrator session thinking about that tiny kiss on her skin and his hand on her knee, hoping that would make her chill out. It didn’t. 

[waitingonher]

ELECTRIC TOUCH — [jason grace dating headcanons]

author's note: i need 2024 to be THE year. 2023 did me soooo dirty. im praying

dating JASON GRACE would be like dating someone from a regency era romance novel…he’s just SUCH a hopeless romantic but he would rather die than admit it.

in the initial first few weeks of dating, jason was sosososooooo shy about pda/physical touch. it’s not that he was uncomfortable, he LOVES physical touch, but he had just gone so long without it that he wasn’t used to it. but eventually, he warms up to it…and now he can’t go without having at least one part of him touching you 😭 

when it came to things like hugs, kisses, handholding, etc. jason would always wait for you to initiate it because he was so anxious about making you uncomfortable ?? fjsldfjs 

but when you communicated that he didn’t need to ask/wait for you all the time, jason started initiating things more. even still, he occasionally gets nervous to even hold your hand? like wdym you’ve been dating for over six months and you still get nervous doing simple couple things 😭 it’s very endearing though 

chivalry is NOT dead,, and it’s because of jason LMAO. he’s the type to swap shoes with you even though you’re wearing heels that are 3x too small for him, but hey, at least your feet don’t hurt anymore!

jason’s also hellbent on carrying things for you, opening doors for you, pulling out/pushing in chairs for you, etc… GOD HE’S SO CUTE. 

since dating him, you don’t think you’ve ever touched a single door or car handle when he’s with you. 

jason is NOT afraid to advocate or stand up for you, especially if you’re more on the quiet & non-confrontational side. if you’re in a group setting and someone interrupts you, he’s making sure you get your chance to say what you wanted to say. and he doesn’t do it in a way that leaves you embarrassed, he’s very very classy with it! 

if you’re a big music person, jason will literally learn your favorite artist’s entire discography so you guys have another thing to talk about. 

you guys also have a shared playlist of “your songs” and he’s so serious about it 😭 if jason hears a song that even remotely reminds him of you, he’s going to the ends of the earth to figure out what it’s called. 

rip to anyone around him if shazam doesn’t work! he’s gonna send voice messages to your big group chat humming the tune, but he’s so tone deaf that no one knows the song…and his search history is just variations of “song that goes du du ooh du ooh du du ooh” a for effort though babes…

jason’s love languages are definitely acts of service and quality time. over the years and throughout the many battles he’s fought, he’s come to realize that all he wants to do when he comes home is just spend time with his loved ones. 

after a busy day, you’ll come home to find your laundry folded, bed sheets washed & freshly made, along with a sweet little note from jason <3 

your guys’ thing are writing notes to each other. considering his and your busy schedule, you’ll write and leave tiny notes around the house for each other to find. it’s one of the many reasons why jason gets up in the morning. 

he loves coming home to you after a long day to simply melt in your arms. there’s just something so soothing about cuddling with you after a busy day. 

it does not matter where you are, you guys could literally be cleaning the camp toilets and he’d still be able to find the fun in it. you’re his home, and he’d follow you wherever you go. 

if you play sports, you already know he’s showing up to ALL your games. it doesn’t matter if it’s pouring rain or if it’s hours away, he’s absolutely determined to show his support. jason even makes posters with your jersey number and when you have big tournaments he’ll show up with posters of your face 😭 the refs are SO tired of jason help

i feel like if he really tried, jason would be a good cook. 

one day you sent him a recipe you saw online saying you wanted to make it with him, but then he decided to make it himself to surprise you. and it was actually so good??? 

JASON IN A “KISS THE COOK” APRON OMFG. that’s what you got him for his birthday and every single time without fail, he’ll wear it when he’s cooking. 

one of his hidden talents is that he’s super good at origami. he originally picked it up because he heard it was a good stress reliever, but now he also does it for you <3 

he loves your reaction when he gives you little paper rings or an origami version of your favorite animal! 

this guy DREAMS of domesticity. he’s always been the type to date to marry, and that’s just what he intends to do with you! even though you guys are still young, he’s been planning your proposal sfjfls

tell me why he already knows what kind of ring he wants to get you… omg. 

he really wants to just settle down with you in new rome. but honestly, he’s willing to do anything as long as you’re at his side. 

expect flowers from jason at least once a month! he even keeps one flower so he knows when it’s time to get you a new bouquet. and if he’s away, he’ll get one of his friends to deliver it! 

i have this headcanon that the aphrodite cabin teams up with the hephaestus cabin to throw a really elaborate party, essentially like prom. anyways, jason would go all out for your promposal jfdsls i feel like he would either do a super funny poster/proposal like y’know that one guy who did that medieval promposal 😭 yeah well jason would do something like that but like...more roman... LMFAO him pulling up to your place in a chariot 

or he would do something super super intricate and planned out…like a fancy picnic and then he’d have the fauns arrange fireflies to spell out “prom?” when it’s dark out. 

ugh! jason grace the man that you are… <3 best bf ever,, i can confirm btw

[merakiui]

Mera! I'm not sure if youve done this before but who are the winners and losers(and their tap out times) for no nut November??

Winners

✧ Riddle - the rule is to last the entire month without cumming; you know he's going to take it way too seriously.

✧ Jack - something something Ace and Deuce (losers) tease him about being easy, and he has his pride as a wolf and he always brings his all to competitions so,,,, he will ultimately win.

✧ Ruggie - if you bet money or food on him losing, he's going to win just to make sure he gets that from you. He is very serious and dedicated.

✧ Jamil - unfortunately, he only wins because he's too busy. </3 rip Jamil. You'll have all of December to make up for what you lost.

✧ Rook - no one knows how or why he does it, but because Rook was in the mood to see how he would fare in NNN he ends up winning somehow. He is so bewildering. Epel wants to know his secret.

✧ Azul - he would've gone in the loser category, but something tells me Azul is another type who is too busy to bother with NNN. And so he'll win solely because his mind is on other things (academics, Mostro Lounge, contracts, money, etc).

✧ Silver - he wasn't even trying to win. He just can't stay awake long enough to deal with his arousal. :(

✧ Sebek - miraculously, Sebek survives the entire month, but that's only because he treated the entire thing like it was a form of training. Also, he couldn't let Silver win all of the glory!! >:(

Losers

✧ Deuce - he lost the first day because he forgot what month it was and by the time he remembered it was NNN he had literally just came in his hand. T_T better luck next year.

✧ Ace - genuinely tries to do better than Deuce so he isn't teased for having a weak dick, but he folds like a week or so in.

✧ Cater - he is not winning NNN. </3 I think he can last at least half of the month if he isn't spending his time scrolling through risqué content.

✧ Trey - he's too stressed playing big brother to the underclassmen and making sure Riddle isn't overdoing it with the beheadings to pay attention to NNN. Stress relief is one of the few things he looks forward to when he has free time and isn't using it to do other hobbies. But also,,, he doesn't care as much for NNN as others might.

✧ Leona - another one who doesn't really care about NNN. He's a few days in when he loses, but he's not even participating.

✧ Floyd - lost right at midnight LOL. Not that he had any plans to genuinely try. Bragging rights isn't a good enough reward. Why is he going to suffer through a hard-on just for something as measly as bragging rights? :/

✧ Jade - you'd think he'd win because he's Jade, but it's precisely because he's Jade that he loses. He'll push himself to see just how far he can go and how many days he can last. While everyone else plays normal NNN, he is playing X-games mode. This eel is going out of his way to purposely get aroused just so he can edge himself throughout the month. Ultimately, once he's had his fill of fun and sated his curiosity, he'll handle his business. <3

✧ Kalim - he forgot NNN was a thing for a moment. He's the type to be like "Oops, I forgot about that! Can we pretend those four didn't count? Let me start over!" T_T he probably lost three days in.

✧ Vil - he is not going to deny his body what it needs all for a silly challenge. Firstly, masturbation can be healthy for the mind and body. Secondly, there's really nothing substantial to gain from a challenge like that. Vil sees no point in it.

✧ Epel - this means everything to Epel. It's to test his restraint as a man! To prove to himself that he isn't going to fold so easily! To show that he has what it takes to be strong! (He loses at the end of the first week. He really was trying his best...)

✧ Idia - no chance he is winning. He'll give it his best effort if he's feeling it, but it's impossible to resist the temptation when he's watching hentai. He either taps out in the very beginning or somewhere in the middle of the month.

✧ Malleus - he doesn't even know what NNN is, but based on these rules he lost towards the end of the month. In his defense, the horny nature of a dragon far surpasses that of the pride gained from winning NNN.

✧ Lilia - he goes on and on about how he may be old, but he's far from impotent. Thus, he will prove just how impressive his restraint is. After all, back in his day, it was impossible to find the privacy to get a good wank in when sleeping outside in inclement weather conditions. But perhaps that will serve him well now as he proceeds to win this NNN without trouble! ...he loses in just five days.

✧ Rollo - he is above these foolish, filthy challenges. Or so he claimed, but suddenly your undergarment is wrapped around his dick on the last day of November. He is strong, but lust is stronger.

[fandomobbsessedb]

Your Favorite Player’s Favorite Player

Young-Il/ Frontman / In-Ho/ Player 001 x Gi-Hun's Sister Reader)

Chapter 1 : Prologue.

Warning: Swears, fire, mob like guys, stressful situation, weapons, there may be some age inaccuracy but who the hell cares. It’s entertainment.

“Where have you been?”

I leaned my head down thinking I had my way past him. My snitchy ass older brother Gi-Hun. He’s always in my business. Even though he’s older by like, psh, 30 years at least, he’s always in my business, like he has to take care of me like a parent.

“I wasn’t anywhere oppa” I rolled my eyes at him going to walk past his much taller, lankier frame in the doorway.

“You weren’t wearing the shirt when you went to your friends house this morning, did something happen.” He asked crossing his arms. Knowing he had a soft spot for me, I turned off my attitude and turned on the theatrics. With a sigh I dropped my shoulders.

“Y/N, did something happen?” He asked again, his voice still sounding accusing. I rolled my pack off of my shoulder and pulled out the shirt I had this morning, my friend had offered to pour her juice on it so that I could leave the store wearing the shirt I wanted. Turning around with an upset face I held it out to him feeling his tough calloused hand take it from mine.

“(F/N)’s baby brother spilled his juice all over me earlier so she offered me her shirt to wear in the meantime.” I kept my gaze on the floor. I knew I would laugh in his face if I had to look at how stupid he was.

“Mhm, okay. I’ll just get this washed for you then.” He said with a softer tone.

“Thanks” I quickly turned away ready to shut myself in my room and empty my backpack when he just had to stop me again.

“Where’s F/Ns shirt from? It looks really good on you.” He said. Kissing my teeth I turned back around and shrugged.

“It looks like it’s from Nohant, and it was 50,000 won. Wow.” He added, causing me to whip around to face him, he was closer to me now, holding a ripped tag in his hands. With a surprised face he looked back at me. “At least that’s what this tag says” he pointed to it.

“Ugh, go away Gi-Hun.” I protested in his face, taking my shirt back, when he grabbed at my arm.

“Your stealing again aren’t you?! Damn it Y/N what did we talk about just a few months ago.” He shouted at me, keeping a firm grip on my arm.

“Let me go weirdo.” I struggled against him.

“No y/n, I care about you to much to let you go down this path.” He said harshly, rolling my eyes I met his with scorn.

“And why is that huh? Why DO you care so much, your not mom, you have your own issues, I’m just getting ahead my own way.” I spat in his face before he finally released me to my room.

I slammed my door shut and threw my bag down to start looking at the loot my friend and I had split. I heard a sigh from the door before he spoke up.

“Because, your life hasn’t even really started yet and you’re already sinking.” I heard him say before his footsteps receded into our creeky old house. I shrugged and started trying on jewelry we had snagged today.

Now as I look at myself getting ready for work in the mirror, I still don’t think what I was doing was wrong, because I’m still getting away with it, I mean, it’s not stealing if you don’t get caught.

And Gi-Hun wasn’t even around to catch me. Gi-Hun hadn’t been home for about a week, ever since he went missing for a week three years ago he hasn’t stopped going on about this game he thinks he played where 455 other players all died and he had won 45.6 billion won. Since then he’s been trying to find it again and stop it. I wonder when his cop buddies will give up on him and drop him off at home with a dementia diagnosis.

—— a few hours later——

There was only a few downsides really when your working at one of the shitier hotels in Seoul, Korea. Mostly the pay and the people, we have crooks and wrong doers staying all the time, even some working there. Myself included. When cleaning up one guests room while he was away, my eyes just so happened to meet the shiny watch and wallet sitting right there…. Right on the desk…….. I’ve been needing a new wallet, and that one looks like it would do just nicely.

Another upside is the five finger discount you get on “local” merchandise.

I quickly stashed the pricey looking objects into my bra before I grabbed my cart and left, assuming nobody had seen. However I failed to notice there were two guests staying in the room…. And one was using the bathroom when I came in.

I entered the elevator the next day ready to check into work, when a hand grabbed at the door, stopping it from closing, I went to step out of the way when the same hand grabbed around my throat.

My back was shred up against the wall of the shitty elevator as the thug jumped me. A handful of others walked in creating a shield around the sight. I heard them press a button for the highest floor. As the elevator made its way up, his hand slowly got tighter and tighter.

“Are you sure this is her?” He asked looking over his shoulder to another guy, wearing the clothes I remember dropping off from dry clean just the other day.

“Oh I’m sure, all the maids shoes look the same except hers, she’s got that cute little buckle on the ankle” he said lighting up a cigarette and kicking at my thrashing feet. I clung to his hands trying to pry them away from my neck only to fail miserably.

“Where’s my wallet bitch?” He asked picking my head up using my throat and slamming it on the wall again.

“What wallet, I have no idea-“ as soon as the strangled words left my mouth I felt a cold hard barrel push into my side.

“Need a reminder?” The goon asked close to my ear, I could feel the moisture coming off his breath as he get personally familiar with the tissue of my outer lobe.

I thrash again to get him away only to hear the cock of the gun. “Okay! Okay! I pawned it.” I cried out shakily as the grip on my throat got tighter.

“There’s no need to make this so hard you two.” A voice from behind spoke up. Just as I saw small dots in the corners of my eyes I was let go and kicked to my knees, the fall caused my tights to rip right at my inner thigh, when I tried to scramble away a loafer stepped on the tip of my tights causing my pull to bust even more of the seams. A well dressed man attached to the foot inside the shoe bent at his waist down to my level.

“I’m to assume you pawned it recently then correct? Must’ve given you a pretty sum in return, it was brand new too.” He softly spoke in my face taking my cheek softer than the other man had taken my neck. I nodded fearfully as my lip quivered.

“Knowing a pretty little thing like you has probably never seen that big of an amount in her life I’m going to assume you didn’t know what to do and just have it locked away at home right?” He asked. I nodded again my body growing shakier.

“Then I’ll tell you what, you go and get that wallet back, and this whole thing will have never happened.” He replied with a stoic face standing back up, releasing my tights. Nodding I leaned back against the wall.

“Until then however-“ he got cut off as the goon with the gun yanked my purse from me, “We’re going to hang onto this for some insurance” he said holding his hand out to the man to look through it. Opening my wallet they found my debit card, and a small picture of my brother and I from when I was little on the inside.

“Don’t let this take too long, otherwise- we’ll have to hold something else for insurance.” He quietly spoke, leaning really close to my face with the picture before using his lighter to catch the corner. I heard the bell ring signaling the top floor they where staying on. As all his men retreated from the door, right before the man followed he took one last look at me and dropped the now flaming picture onto the floor.

He pressed the button to shut the door and quickly jumping out of the way of the closing door as the machine once again descended.

With an aching sigh I sat up hugging myself. What was I going to do? I had spent the money. I used it to pay off some personal bills and previous expenses, it was only enough to chip at it though and if I didn’t have the money back from the wallet and its contents… it might just be easier for them to kill me.

Changing out of my work outfit back in the housekeeper locker room, I quickly left the building for the train station to go home. To try and figure out a plan.

When I got there I sat down on a bench far from the entrance and other riders. As I sat waiting, I took out my phone and considered… texting my brother…. I don’t know how he got all that money but he had it, I could borrow some from him just to pay off those guys or to buy the wallet again and give it back. But then I would owe Gi-Hun, I didn’t need that added stress right now. I felt a soft hand on my shoulder before I looked up.

“Miss is everything okay?” He asked, he had slicked back hair and a nice suit on, thinking he was a goon from before I jumped away from him grabbing for my pocket knife.

“Who are you, where you with those guys in the elevator,” I rushed out wielding my knife at him. Making a shocked face he simply smiled at me and said…

“I just wanted to ask if you might play a game with me. How does a game of ddakji sound?”

After having lost one too many of an easy kids game I felt a need for redemption. I stared at the number on the back of the card as I walked home. Was this that thing Gi-Hun was talking about before? I doubt it that was one measly kids game, almost half a hundred dozen people couldn’t have died from just that.

Walking into the house I sat at the table with a sigh as I cradled my face in my hands, thumbing at my sore throat. I stood to grab a bag of ice for my neck when I heard a creek from behind me. Whipping around and seeing nothing, I quickly shoved the card into my purse and quietly slunk to the counter to grab a kitchen knife. I quietly creeped towards the halls entrance as I heard the creeks of the one floor board getting closer and closer. When a body flushed past me at the entrance I swung out the arm with the knife only to be grabbed at my wrist.

“It’s just me Y/N.” Taking a glance at his starchy brown eyes in the soft light from the kitchen, Jun-ho released me and took the knife into his own hand.

“Oh, you had me worried” I sighed out resting my hands on my hips, “I thought some creeper had gotten In.”

“Is everything okay?” Gi-Hun spoke from his doorway making his way to meet us in the hall. With a groan I turned around to grab my purse from the table.

“I stand corrected” I mumbled hoisting my heavy purse over my shoulder once again.

“What happened to your neck y/n?” Gi-Hun asked me looking down at me concerningly.

Shoving him away from me I grabbed my purse from the table and walked to my room.

“Nothing” I mumbled trying to breach past him, only for him to gram my arm again, with a sigh I did the only thing I could think of.

“Really oppa, I’m fine.” I said again clearer, playing on his soft side, hoping he would just drop it. Luckily for me he sighed as well and released me. I big my goodbye to Jun-Ho giving my brother a small hug on his arm in goodbye, before he could hug back though I quickly left.

Later that day once I heard the both of them leave the house, I picked up my purse once again and dialed the given number.

“Do you wish to participate in the game? If you wish to participate, please state your name and birthdate…”

AN: AH OKAY THIS IS CHAPTER 1 what do ya’ll think? Too long? Too short? HOPE U ENJOY!! Stay tuned for chapter 2!!!!!

Yours truly

~ FandomObbsessedB

TAGLIST: @jamiewritesfanfiction-blog @blacksnape123 @newtsniffles @missmollya

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 59: Look Inside

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

The journey home is a quiet and steady one. The further we sail from England the lighter the weight on my heart becomes. Liam helps to district me with card games. By the time we reach America the sight of New York harbor fills my tired soul with joy. Never did I think I’d be so glad to come home. 

Over the next few months things fall back into place. Moeder, vader, and oma were relieved when I told them I’ll be working in America. Polly, Finn, and Ada keep in touch with letters. Polly writes that Thomas never visits. Lizzie’s frantically trying to talk to him but he doesn’t want to. Arthur and Linda have built a life for themselves. Finn keeps to himself. Their kind words offer comfort but nothing can patch up what’s already happened.

Bonnie also keeps his promise. A letter arrives every week, talking all about his adventures with his father and the Peaky Blinders. In return I write him letters about the different customers I encounter. Sometimes I meet with people in vader’s pub. Other times I give them the courtesy of meeting in their own settlements. But Bonnie always ignores talk of business and always asks to make sure I’m doing okay. I write that I am… I think.

“Verena! Dochter! Please come help me with these crates!”

“Coming, moeder!” I call from my room.

“Auntie! Tante!” Eoin’s youngest daughter Cecilia giggles. “Will you play with me?” 

Since I came back it’s been my job to help entertain Eoin’s kids. It’s a perfect way to let my heart heal, even though I do admit that I wish I was taking care of Charlie again. I wonder how Lizzie’s doing with her pregnancy- 

“Verena! Phone for you!” Oma’s voice echos from downstairs. “Someone named Arthur?”

Oh thank God. If it was Thomas I would completely ignore this. My sweet oma smiles at me as I pitter-patter down the stairs, unaware of my anxious thoughts. What on Earth would Arthur be calling about? If there’s something wrong over there shouldn’t they call Ada in Boston?

“Hello?” I ask uneasily into the phone.

“Hello? Verena? It’s Arthur.”

“Greetings, Arthur. Is there something wrong?”

On the other end I hear him chuckle. “You could say that. Verena, get over here before Tommy kills himself. I’m getting him back to work but he needs you here too.”

He wants me to… What?

Arthur listens to my dead silence and keeps talking. “Please? He’s turned into a fucking Communist!”

Turned into one, or fucking one? First Grace, then the Russian, then Lizzie. Now a Commie? I guess two children aren’t enough. Retirement isn’t possible for Thomas Shelby. He’s moved on this long without me, even after I confessed. What can I go back to now? It's time that I take a look at myself and stop trying so hard.

“I’m sorry, Arthur. But there’s no way I can sail over right now. Give my best to Linda. Tot ziens.”

I hang up before he can answer. Before my healing wounds are ripped open again. In these last years of my young life I feel that I’ve learned the toughest lesson. Being mature, being too aware, comes at a cost. In the spam of your life you think too far ahead. Think about how to fix things you can’t control. Re-evaluate what could have been or what could be. Stress about doing your best to please anyone but yourself. 

And Thomas Shelby will be the key stressor for the rest of my life.

General POV

He was fucked.

Thomas has really backed himself into a ditch now. He just couldn’t help himself.

Yes, he had fucked Lizzie. But he was not thinking of May as she had assumed.

Verena.

The only woman he’s ever tried to abstain from. It takes every fiber of willpower not to claim her heart. To pull her close and kiss her gentle lips.

Maybe he was addicted to sex, maybe he was just trying to feel some form of happiness. But one thing is certain. Verena satisfies everything in him.

When Thomas had first set eyes on her, the short, bright-eyed woman standing in the kitchen, he thought for sure she would be like any other broad. Annoyingly chatty, clingy, and skittery. Lord, was he wrong. 

First Thomas thought he was only confused. Verena never used him for money like other women. Grace played his heart like a fiddle so he assumed his tenderness towards Verena’s gentle Christian spirit was the product of friendship. But once he was married… A part of him still felt empty. 

That time at Arrow House, before she was called away at a time of poor inconvenience, he was so close. So close to asking her. He was torn on the matter. Should an innocent woman like her ever settle for a life with him? After all, he’d been so distrustful at the beginning of her employment. 

But then she was pulled away. Time ate off his hope and he drowned himself with the empty love of whores. When Verena finally came back, Thomas assumed she’d forgotten about him. But no. She is here, still vibrant and caring as before. Charlie couldn’t have been more happy to see her and Thomas secretly shared his son’s joy to see the American woman return. When she caught him in the bath Thomas thought the reaction on her face was the most sexy yet adorable thing he’s ever seen. But aside from looks, Verena still has a certain aura about her. Disciplined yet kind. One that reminds him of his mother. 

But he still hesitated. She really deserves so much better… Hell, Verena was almost caught in a vendetta because of him. She deserves a man far more better. Not someone as fucked up as he is. And then when Thomas saw Bonnie Gold being sweet on her he knew he could never truly forget the grip she has on his heart. If only she knew…

So instead he went back to Lizzie. He dug himself further into a pit of guilt, mending his pride by trying to forget. But the entire time Thomas could only think about how much he wished it was Verena. When Lizzie told him her joyful news, Thomas wanted to die of shame.

That look. That look on Verena’s face…

When he told her.

A look of pain and despair that felt like a slap to the face. It was all his fault. And yet she still held back. Maybe Verena doesn’t really love him as he’d hoped? Verena distributes her kindness to everyone. An angel amongst gangsters. Maybe he mistook her gestures to be exclusively for him?

But Thomas can’t go back now. Even if Verena held any love for him she certainly won’t now. Thomas will have to bite the bullet and let her go. He was selfish to think a sinful man like him could ever be blessed to have an innocent woman like her. In truth, Verena never owed anything to the Shelbys. Thomas owes her the best he can offer, which is a life without him. Perhaps her absence will help to hide the pain from his cold heart.

After all these years Verena still carries a smile for him… Even if it’s forced. There’s no other way for Thomas to describe his situation.

He is completely fucked.

@meadows5

[amesul]

Can you do some sue bird smut? Like even a oneshot pls 🙏 there's like no content for her on here

of courseeee! stop it. its kinda depressing that there isnt any fics for the fine woman.. like have we seen her?? this isn’t really a oneshot but its pwp and a cliffhanger… so plz enjoy angel!! ₊˚⊹♡

it made you irate knowing you were asked to stay later hours when everyone got to leave early for the upcoming break. it was unfair. u didn’t allow ur boss to keep you more in the office, not when u worked hard enough to survive one more week.

you determined going on vacation by yourself. no friends. no family members. you barely had anytime for yourself back at home, so you chose for a good step back at orlando florida.

it was said to be a sunny week, which was nearly immaculate for you. a fresh sip of hennessy was something u wanted right now.

you finally arrived to ur hotel room, sighing softly as all those steps did work on you. the elevator not working for some sort of reason which is why you even came to this hotel, because of the easy way to get out and get it.

no matter what, you were gonna try to embrace this break.

clasping the hotel card for the door, you entered the semi-tousled room. the stout tv was on, a random channel displaying as no one was around, leaving the tv by itself.

you were rather surprised.

you had no idea or any heads up that u were gonna get a roommate. considering that you did get a two bed hotel, you didn’t know why you didn’t expect it.

“hello?” you shouted, making sure anyone was here while placing ur suitcase near the entrance. you heard no response after a few seconds. finding the remote on the counter, just when u turned off the tv — there she was.

sue bird. your ex.

your breath hitched quietly, her wavy brunette hair perched on her shoulders, catching an espy of the muscular biceps that were exuding droplets of water, having nothing on but a white towel coating her body.

fresh out the shower. noted.

she bit her bottom lip, eyeing you up and down as she saw the way the ripped jeans clutched ur hips flawlessly, or the way she recognized the chapstick that she bought for you months after the breakup.

instead of listening to her inner voice that told her to kiss you just like she wanted, she held herself together. she knew you didn’t want anything to do with her anymore, not after she broke your heart.

sue still felt guilty, hell she hasn’t even gotten to a talking stage with anyone now. you’re still on her mind.

you glanced away, not accepting the creeping heat that consumed you.

seeing her with nothing but a towel on is pure torture for you. it alone was not a good combo to put on you.

“i- what are you doing here?” u tried to ask properly, gulping firmly to somehow not show the effect she still had on you.

she chuckled with raspiness, “not your business anymore, darling” it rolled off her tongue with hella ease, and you for a second fell for that nickname you remembered too well.

but you didn’t think about it so much, the anger that was at its climax helped you concentrate on for once winning against her game.

truly, sue was here because she also needed a break, but not because of the paper work retirement gave her, but because she couldn’t stop thinking about you.

she couldn’t stop thinking of ur small cheeky grin that greeted her every morning. she couldn’t stop thinking of the way ur skin felt — even better yet, on her. she couldn’t stop thinking about the way ur hands interlaced with hers every time you got scared of something. she couldn’t stop letting the images of the both of you laughing at people that looked goofy flash in her mind.

“i didn’t ask why, i asked what.”

“already bothered?”

“already wanna fuck me?”

“and what makes you say that?”

“well ur getting closer, and ur looking at my boobs.”

“so?”

you let out a sigh, full of anger and lust. she was smirking her win towards this. she had ur knees frail.

she cocked an eyebrow at you, waiting at nothing because she knows she just won.

taking a few steps closer, her long index finger gripped ur jaw, devising you to look at her. “so what if i’m looking at your boobs? i got free will ma,” she murmured, tilting her head slightly, following ur gaze.

u felt ur body betraying you as her hand was trailing down to ur chest, tickling a shiver from you as you fell deeper into her deceitful charm. “i missed this so f’ing bad, you know that?” she asked, her tongue abrading ur neck as her hand extended around ur left boob, playing with ur already hardened nipple.

you nod, whimpering as your hand scraped her scalp, enticing her to groan as she chucked you over the couch, her mouth tugging and biting at your lip before you even knew it — at your nervous clit.

her thumb smeared around ur clit in circles as her tongue explored every single centimeter of her pussy. she moaned against the jabbing on ur nerve, missing ur sweet drink that she loved to sip.

“sue- fuckkkk,” you threw ur head back, moaning out freely as the sensations were hastily getting tense, her hands gripping ur thighs that rested on her shoulders, just wanting to feel you after what felt like decades for her.

“ ‘missed you ‘n her” she purred against ur throbbing, loud pussy, talking to it as if it was a real person.

she was a fan.

always telling you she missed the “both of you” when she would come home from work, and you couldn’t deny it made you flustered.

you nearly howled, her teeth tugging at ur folds like if it was the most expensive thing and didn’t wanna ruin it. that although, vanished as she thrusted her tongue in ur core, moaning lowly as she felt ur tight walls clench around her.

she looked at you with siren eyes, pussy drunk.

u saw a glint go across her orbs before she suddenly asked, “you miss me?” and oh she waited for you to respond.

you do miss her.

you know you shouldn’t, not after u caught her cheating with a copy and paste latina, not after u saw multiple messages with other people about near relationships to occur, but yet here you were, letting her lay a finger on you with those endearing dun eyes that drew you every time, and right now you were sure.

“y-yeah, s’ much, sssso m’ch” you slurred, rolling ur eyes when sue found ur bundle of nerves, jabbing her tongue teasingly as she pinched ur clit.

“such a slut f’ me,” she growled, the sound impacting ur g-stop it nerved, making you clench around her tongue that freshly did nothing but let you know that you were so fucking close to cumming.

sue could feel the way most of ur juices flow slowly out of you, and she nodded, giving you the go ahead.

“cumming- aw shit! s-ss-sue!” you babble, tears threatening to pour as you let out a strangled moan, every single fluid seeping out like a geyser, sue purposely extending ur high a little more, loving your tasty cum painting her lower face, savoring any drop that oozes out.

“mm, s’ good,” she gathered any left outs, smirking when she saw u catching ur breath.

“all fours, sweetheart.”

[bordysbae]

this town - trevor zegras

summary: as you roam the busy streets of chicago, you run into a painfully familiar new york born boy who’s currently living on the west coast.

roughly inspired by this town by niall horan! so feel free to play that song while you read if you want!

trying a new format?! also hi i’m popping in to write a little something for no reason :) this is definitely not my best work but ohhh well

—

as you dodge the little pieces of trash on the concrete, your headphones rest upon your ears playing all kinds of music you love. the tote bag resting on your shoulder holds all kinds of clutter, which is something nearly everyone teases you for. the only person who never teased you for it was trevor. it used to be his favorite thing. he loved how you always had things like tangled earbuds you’d never used crumpled at the bottom, or even a book you’d barely even opened since you bought it resting in your bag.

you and trevor were practically the it couple of plymouth high school, but that was until you guys ended a month after he got drafted. you found out when he’d gone to development camp in anaheim, he kissed another girl at a bar with his new teammates. it broke you to pieces, but what you didn’t know was that it broke trevor even more. you swore to never speak to him again, and you’ve kept that promise. you moved out of michigan for college, and you’ve been thriving. chicago is treating you well, and so has northwestern. you’ve avoided anything trevor related for as long as possible. skipping past any ducks games on tv, even if it’s your favorite team against them.

while your beat up converse pad across the street and your ripped jeans hug you perfectly, you notice all of the tourists surrounding you. you also notice a large group of boys around your age walking your way. as you get closer, your breath hitches. it feels like the entire world stops when you see him, and suddenly your feet bring you to a halt. your head hesitantly turns around, and so does his. the people walking behind you groan at your sudden stop and walk around you, as you stand there in shock. trevor’s group of friends notice he’s no longer walking with them and turn around to see what he’s doing. his action in question being staring at you.

“y/n, hi,” he says breaking the awkward silence.

“trevor,” you softly say.

“how’ve you been? how’s chicago?”

“it’s amazing. i love it,” you say as you begin to fidget with your fingers.

“i’m glad. i know you were nervous to start college,” he says with a small smile curling at the corners of his lips. suddenly he gasps, “i’m so sorry guys, i’m so rude! this is y/n. y/n meet some of my teammates!”

you quickly realize these are most likely the same guys who pressured him into cheating on you, and you get even more upset at the situation. “hi,” you say with a fake smile. one of the boys speak up after a few silent moments, “hey z we’re gonna go back to the hotel, take your time catching up,” the darker haired boy says. trevor nods at the boy and turns back to you.

“so, what are you doing in chicago?” you ask.

“oh we have a game tomorrow night against the blackhawks. are you gonna go?”

“i have schoolwork trevor, not everyone got out of college the easy way,” you chuckle, and trevor rolls his eyes.

“hey do you maybe uh, want to get coffee? or something?” trevor asks as his hand rubs the back of his neck. your heart falls into your stomach as memories flood. memories of when he told you what had happened in anaheim, in your guys favorite coffee shop. he barely even looked upset when he told you, just like how he looks perfectly fine with seeing you now. no guilt? nothing?

“i uh, i really need to go. it was great seeing you though,” you say as you begin to walk away. no matter how many white lies you tell, you truthfully haven’t been the same without trevor, but apparently he’s been just fine.

—

it’s a restful evening, but a knock on your apartment door startles you. as you slowly approach the door, and look through the small peephole, you see trevor. he’s stood there with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand. you sigh and open the door, “trevor? how did you find my apartment?”

“don’t worry about it, okay? i’m just here to apologize.”

“apologize for what?”

“everything,” his tongue darts out to lick his lips as he pauses his sentence.

“trevo-“ you begin, but he cuts you off. “shh, let me explain okay?” he says and you nod, meanwhile taking the flowers from his arms.

“i was so young and so stupid back then. i never realized just exactly what i’d be losing and how much it would impact me. waking up without knowing you’re apart of my life kills me more and more. as cheesy as it sounds, it’s true, y/n.”

your wide variety of emotions make you unable to find the right words, but eventually you’re able to string out a sentence. “why are you here now? why years later? you’ve known i’ve been in chicago. why are you just now telling me this?”

“because i wanted to so badly respect your choice. i know you’ve been avoiding me, and i don’t blame you. i mean we live across the country, sure, but there’s so many forms of communication, yet you never reached out. so i figured you were avoiding me, and i wanted to respect that. but now that i’ve seen you in person, i couldn’t help but feel that this is what’s right. no matter where i go, or who i’m with, it’s like i’m constantly chasing your shadow down the street. i always look for a little bit of you in everyone. everything always comes back to you.”

[jujutsukgojo]

The bell tolls for me

satoru gojo x reader

Summary: “Say it.” The few times he has spoken to you, they are always the same. He wants confirmation of your evil. No matter how you word it, he isn’t satisfied until you say it plainly and he’ll only hear the worst part of it.     He doesn’t want reason, he wants pain, hatred, and anger. It is what is keeping him going.   You will give it to him for now.  “I killed them.” 

1.5k+ words tw: angst, illness, mental illness, ptsd, depression, mentions of death, spoilers, i think suicide thoughts (?), idk what else (if there's something let me know!) i'm not an expert on mental illness or a doctor! i don't own jjk either.

Gojo wipes his face with his hand. Despite his eyes being rightfully considered divinity, they cannot beat the exhaustion. He hasn't worn a blindfold or glasses in about a couple of months or so. He can’t really remember the exact number anymore.  

   He spies a single white petal fall in front of his window. He sees pollen in the back and a few people walking around. He hears the bell toll once again. Satoru understands that the people of his past will never hear it again. They will never see the petals and sneeze from the pollen anymore.  

The bell rings again. God, he could swear that the bell is only for him.  

   “Gojo? Are you ready?” He hears a small voice that causes a heaviness in his chest and an icy hatred in his bones. You.  

He ignores you completely, making you sigh at his behavior. It isn’t a secret that he hates you and when he is up to it, he’ll kill you. All because you failed. You completely betrayed him and those who mattered most. Rather than finishing what you promised, you went against it and did something he just can’t forgive. 

You are disgusting, vile, stupid, hideous, a failure of a being.

You whip out your jar of bones and begin the healing process. Ever since the Culling Games, you have had to learn to deal with these newfound abilities that totally destroyed your life. Yet, that destruction has also given you a purpose now. The usual healer, Shoko, has been extremely busy lately because of the aftermath of the Culling Games, Kenjaku, and Sukuna. So, when you were discovered during all of that, you were immediately put to work.  

   And your abilities had fit for a plan that you messed up.  

You work your fingers to thread the crushed bones into Gojo, who remains silent. You know that one wrong move and he’ll rip you to shreds. Until then, you might as well make up for it by healing him and taking the pain away.  

Opening another jar, you take a finger out of it. In the palm of your hand, colors swirl all around. The bone reshapes into a softer and smaller structure, something easier to swallow. You hand it to Gojo, childishly hoping that he would give you something to work with. A smile, a thank you, eye contact, anything.  

   You receive nothing.  

You place it down on the desk and take your leave.  

“Was it worth it?” Quickly, you turn your head around to see Gojo still staring out the window. “You know-” 

“Say it.” 

“There was no hope, Gojo. None at all.” 

 “Who said?” Sighing, you turn to him fully. “He did, Satoru.” 

Satoru stands up. You have to try to stare into his red rimmed eyes. They’re mesmerizing jewels, precious things that see and know all. They're damaged from the strain and the pain.

 “Megumi didn’t want to live, Satoru. You can only save those who want to be saved. Him and Geto never wanted to be.” 

  “And Tsumiki?” 

“She was dead the moment she was cursed, way before she woke up. I didn’t even know her. I had nothing to do with that.” 

  He takes a few steps forward. His long legs carry him to you. He’s menacing and tall. Majestic and radiating a power that you could never handle. 

“Say it.” The few times he has spoken to you, they are always the same. He wants confirmation of your evil. No matter how you word it, he isn’t satisfied until you say it plainly and he’ll only hear the worst part of it.  

  He doesn’t want reason, he wants pain, hatred, and anger. It is what is keeping him going.  

You will give it to him for now. 

“I killed them.”  Although you went against his plan to trick Sukuna, you never meant for your actions to cause such a catastrophe. That it would cause for his world to be ruined. 

  Before he can do anything, you leave quickly. 

He finally goes into the shower after a while. The water is boiling hot and the steam is thick. Satoru stands under it not moving to bathe at first. Nothing goes through his mind other than the sensation of the water and the scars on his body. He barely has any feeling on the long scar across his abdomen. It is nothing but a reminder of you.  

  You were supposed to save them. Not him. 

And yet, here he is. Holding the weight of everyone’s soul all because you didn’t want to follow directions. He killed Sukuna and is hailed as the strongest sorcerer in history. But the glory that he’d usually bask in is a terrible thing now. Why wear it like a badge of honor when it is covered in the blood of those he loved and never got to tell them? 

   You. You fucking snake.  

Now, he has to sit here and heal. According to Shoko anyway. Whether it’s mentally, emotionally, or physically, he doesn’t know or care. He wants to leave. To be free. If only for a moment, to get away from this place and breathe. Away from you.  

  When he met you, he thought you were plain. Nothing really special except for a weird but cool technique. Then when he lay on the bed after the fight, you were the first in his sight. The light acted as a halo. You were glowing and had an ethereal appearance.  

  Even Lucifer was the most beautiful and enchanting of angels. And look what happened.  

  Look where it got Gojo Satoru.  

To find out that he had healed mid fight because of you at the expense of so many people hurt him. You had one job, only one.  

  Why did you make him kill his loved ones?  He needs to get away. A fresh start or at least some air. Yeah, that’s what he’ll do.  

 Gojo stands tall among the sand. The smell of the water is refreshing. Waves against the rocks and the white sand, the sun against his skin and the birds flying overhead, is so serene.  

  “Gojo.” Everything comes to a halt at the sound of that grating voice. He doesn’t face you yet. No, you won’t ruin this for him too.  

“You have to come back, Satoru.” You’re finally face to face with him. “Go away.” He dismisses you quickly and quietly. He doesn’t want to ruin this for himself.  

   “We have to go back.”  

“Nanami would have loved this. They all would. Maybe even Megumi.” 

He can still hear his students, his friends, too. The past life he lived as he raised the Fushiguro’s echo in his mind. Megumi was always gloomy, always. Tsumiki was a ray of sunshine with a solemn look in her eyes. She was forced to grow up at an alarming speed in order to take care of the grumpy troll. And she was never thanked. He knows that was what Megumi was thinking.  

   That he never got to thank her for loving him. For standing for him at his lowest and never letting go. Yeah, Tsumiki was amazing. And Satoru Gojo, her adopted dad, didn't say thanks, either. She would have loved the sea. Maybe in another life, he can take his kids here.

  “I want to stay. I think this is how I get back to the airport.” He hears you sigh. “I know. But you left the airport for a reason, remember?” 

“I shouldn’t have.”  

“If you didn’t, they’d be gone, too. We can’t-” He scoffs and interrupts. “We? Since when are we ‘we’?”  

“You can’t heal if you can’t see what’s left.”  

“ Nothing’s left!” He screams with his face red. You reach for his hand. “We are here. Hold onto us.” 

  The bell rings again. He wonders how it keeps following him. He looks around curiously. He questions, “The bell tolls for me, doesn’t it?” 

   “No, it’s for everyone to know the time.” You answer in a patient voice. He hates that. You talk like a doctor. There's enough of those to go around, he doesn’t need any more.  

  “Stop talking. Don’t ruin it for me.”

“What?”

“The bell is for me. I’ll be right after them, you’ll see.”

  You hold out your hand and reluctantly, he takes it. You lead him out of the street with cars honking their horns. You hold him close out of his delusion. It is his price of using too much curse energy and the reverse technique. Gojo doesn’t know that he’s not in Malaysia as he imagined Nanami would have liked. He doesn’t know the truth of his students. He doesn't realize that the airport he wants to return to doesn't exist. 

  He blames you, yes, but you’ll stick with him. He'll heal one day.  

Right now, he doesn’t understand that the bell isn't for him and hasn’t been for these past four years since Sukuna. That he has suffered so much that his head is stuck. But one day, he’ll heal, and he won't be alone. Even if he doesn't, you will hold his hand, nonetheless. 

[bluemoonscape]

Here’s my @alnst-secret-santa fic for the lovely and amazing @chevalperd, who requested some ivanmizi besties content for her gift! This was really fun to do, especially seeing as I consider the recipient of the gift a friend! Word count at 4.3k—it’ll be up on AO3 within a few hours, but for now, read below the cut. I hope you don’t mind that I included some 4nakt dynamics around the ivanmizi for plot. Happy holidays, Ish <33

Ivan couldn’t really say for sure how he’d gotten to this point in his life.

…Well, actually, he could, and in painstaking detail, too. It started at about the time his father ushered him into show business, married this runway superstar millionaire, put a handful of stepsisters in front of him with an unheard but cheerful “here you go, kid!” taught him to conform to the public’s vision of him, tarnished his self-esteem—

Anyway, the short version was this. Ivan had been crushing on someone for a while. By a while, of course, he meant every waking hour since he met the guy (approximately four years, five months, one week, and 2 days, counting. Not like Ivan was keeping track or anything). Ivan had never been the type to fall so hard, or at all, really, but Till was special. 

Ivan met him while he was taking classes through university and juggling his well-established career, and from the moment he saw him with his guitar case covered in stickers and his jeans littered with rips and patches, he knew Till was the only one for him. If it wasn’t Till, it was Ivan in sweatpants eating from a carton of peppermint swirl ice cream with a spoon with hard water stains watching A Charlie Brown Christmas and wondering if anyone would say anything if he just stopped going out in public and instead hibernated in his stupidly big, stupidly empty apartment until the Progresso soup cans ran out. And the ice cream. Which was looking like it’d be yesterday’s news sooner rather than later.

It was around while he was doing this exact activity when his father rang him. This was a rare enough occurrence that it briefly occurred to Ivan that a stroke or cardiac event might be involved. He picked up on that basis, holding the phone between his ear and shoulder as he scooped out the last candy cane pieces from the corners of the container.

“Hello, Father. I didn’t expect to hear from you—everything alright?”

“What?” his father said absently. “Oh. Yes, everything’s fine. I called to extend an invitation to the Christmas party, on the twenty-third. Arrival at five, dinner at six, games throughout the rest of the evening. Will you be able to make it? Sua has already agreed.”

Sua was a bonus. Sua was the baby of her sisters, which put her much closer in age with Ivan than the other girls. She was the only one of his stepmother’s children he ever bonded with beyond surface level pleasantries, and he hadn’t seen her in some time. Still…

“I don’t know. I might have an event that night. Since when are we having Christmas parties again?”

A pause. “Since right now. Why not? There will be family friends there. Colleagues. You might meet some people interested in getting involved in your work.”

Of course it was just a way to network. It always was. God forbid they have one Christmas party with just the family like they used to before the families crashed together about as gracefully as two tectonic plates. Ivan’s Christmases as a little kid were probably the most fun he ever had and ever would, based on the way things were trending.

He must’ve been quiet for too long, for he was jolted by his stupor by, “Sua’s bringing her boyfriend—would you like to bring your girlfriend? Mizi, was it?”

Ivan froze.

The wrongest thing about that was the combination of “Sua” and “boyfriend” in the same sentence. That was weird.

The second wrongest part was the belief or pretense of belief that Ivan actually had someone to share his life with. That was absolutely laughable.

But it was his fault he thought this.

“Right.” Ivan coughed and sat up straight, setting the carton and spoon down on the clear coffee table to hold the phone in his hand. The carton tipped, and the spoon clattered to the carpeted floor with a trail of minty goodness. “Mizi. Right.”

Because this was the really hilarious thing that he totally forgot he told his father and stepmother after making the mistake of confiding in them that he did, in fact, have his eyes on someone and was not, in fact, self-isolating. The unfortunate part came when they asked for specifics. What was she like?

“Artistic,” Ivan had said, caught up in the mental image of Till in music class, playing his bass, Till in their philosophy class, staring off into space, daydreaming about something undoubtedly beautiful. “Passionate, fiercely loyal, a little shy.”

Oh, how delightful! And what was her name?

So Ivan clammed up.

“Mizi,” was the first name that came to mind. “Her name’s—Mizi!”

His stepsister’s girlfriend of two years.

The girl Till was infatuated with.

Definitely not Ivan’s girlfriend.

In his defense, it wasn’t so weird when one considered how close he’d become with Mizi in his own right. He probably saw her more than he saw Sua at this point. She was bright and bubbly and, above all, relentlessly determined to make him feel included in all things. 

It was a little embarrassing at first. He felt like he was just the little brother she was taking pity on. But now, he might even call her his best friend. Despite all the reasons he’d collected to avoid her (you’re pathetic, you want what she and Sua have, you want Till to look at you like he looks at her, you’ll only bring her down)—she found her way right into his heart. But never once had she ever consented to being the girl he used as a pitiful excuse to his parents to convince them he wasn’t alone, not hopelessly and stupidly in love with a boy he couldn’t have.

“Uh,” he said smartly into the phone. “Sua’s bringing a… boyfriend?”

A hum of confirmation.

Last I checked Mizi was definitely a girl did I miss someth—?

“Great!” he chirped. “Good for her. Unfortunately, I don’t think I, um, or Mizi, will be able to come. My schedule is pretty packed, so…”

“It is?” God fucking hell, it was like his father could see his lie right through the phone. “The day before Christmas Eve?”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck me. Why do I even try? I should hang up. And block his number. And move to Scotland. I hear the weather’s nice there.

“You know,” Ivan said haltingly, “let me… check my calendar and see if I have a spot.”

Obviously he did. The day was entirely empty, whiter than the rare thick snow blanketing the streets outside.

He could make something up, but clearly his father was already beginning to question the existence of this supposed girlfriend—with reason, too—and he hadn’t seen Sua in months. Maybe he could work something out. Maybe he could pull something together in time to keep up appearances and appease his family for a few more years.

So he opened his big dumb mouth and said, “It’s tight but I can fit you in.”

“Excellent!” his father shouted right into Ivan’s ear, “Won’t you bring Mizi? We’d love to meet her.”

Not because they were actually interested in being connected to someone Ivan loved, but because they couldn’t have the family looking bad. Ivan always tried not to let it get to him. He rarely succeeded even after all these years living out on his own.

“Yeah.” Ivan cleared his throat. “I’ll see if she can come.”

~

So yeah. Ivan could, actually, say for absolute certain how he got to this point in his life, on the doorstep of his father’s giant house that had never been a home for Ivan, a noodle casserole in his arms and a baby blue bowl with snowflake designs filled with frosted sugar cookies in Mizi’s arms.

“Ivan?” Mizi smiled at him uncertainly, touching his shoulder with her free hand. She’d gotten a pixie cut in the months since he’d last seen her, before he met her for coffee and dropped his bomb of a favor on her. She looked so pretty like that, tiny pink ears exposed to the cold air, her bangs fanning above her brows in the wind. Ivan could see why Till liked her. Maybe Ivan would too if he was more… something. Or less something.

He smiled back at her, and she asked, “Are you gonna ring the doorbell?” Sheepishly, she added, “I can’t feel my toes.”

Ivan’s gaze dropped to her feet. “You’re wearing fur boots,” he teased, “it probably doesn’t take much to make your feet cold in those.”

Mizi whacked his arm hard enough to hurt, stared at him dead in the eyes, and deliberately pushed the doorbell with her index finger, decorated with a red and green striped nail. He returned her dirty look.

They both jumped to face forward when the door opened, and before them stood Ivan’s stepmother in a spotless white evening gown that stood stark against her long sheet of raven hair. Sua was practically the spitting image of her, as were her older sisters. Their mother’s genes were strong. The RBF ran strong in the family.

“Ivan.” Her mouth approached something vaguely resembling a smile, close-lipped and tight. “I’m glad you could make it. Your father will be pleased. And is this… Millie?”

“Mizi,” Ivan corrected with a frown.

Mizi waved awkwardly.

“Oh, I see. I’m delighted to meet your acquaintance, Mizi. The children speak highly of you. You’re Sua’s friend, aren’t you?”

Mizi bumped her foot against Ivan’s, and Ivan repressed a mortifying snort.

“Yes ma’am, your daughter is a fine young woman.” Mizi’s voice was so exaggeratedly posh, Ivan was somewhere between bursting into tears of laughter or sinking into the porch floor. “And your stepson is a total knockout.”

Sua’s mother blinked. Ivan smiled convincingly.

“Come in, then,” she said, ignoring Mizi’s comment. “It’s cold out there. I’ll take your coats—you can set the food on the table in the dining hall. Sua and her partner are in the sitting room off the entryway.”

Seeing as Sua said it was “a surprise” who she was bringing as her own fake date on the phone, Ivan was curious to see the mirage boyfriend.

He and Mizi put his casserole and her cookies on the banquet table, then made a beeline through the crowd to the sitting room, offering grins and polite waves to the mingling socialites—all people Ivan didn’t recognize.

Ivan nearly tripped over the threshold when he and Mizi walked in to find a very uncomfortable-looking Till dressed in a turtleneck and jacket, hair swept back from his forehead, sat a respectable distance from Sua on the sofa near the hearth of the fireplace.

Mizi, unbothered, gave an excited shriek that definitely did not belong in this house.

“Till, oh my god! I didn’t know you would be here!”

Till froze up when Mizi threw her arms around him and squeezed him. He coughed over her shoulder. “I—Hi, Mizi. Merry Christmas.”

Sua, elegant as ever in her midnight black dress dotted with glittering studs, smoothed out her dress over her knees and stood, crossing her thin arms and arching an eyebrow at Ivan, who was busy gawking at her date. She stared at him sternly for an uncomfortable amount of time before extending her arms to him. 

“Well, c’mere.”

Ivan stepped closer and stooped down to hug her. It wasn’t a particularly warm, fuzzy hug, the kind he imagined some siblings might give each other after being apart for months, but their relationship had always been based on quiet respect and love, the sort of two people who didn’t feel in need of such overt validation from the other. His friendship with Mizi was more… sweet, he supposed. Sentimental.

While Sua moved to wrap Mizi in a much more intimate hug and whisper something in her ear, Till stepped up to Ivan, his eyes fixed somewhere below Ivan’s eyes. An awkward smile tilted his lips. “Hey, you. Been a while.”

They both hesitated, hovering in front of each other. Then when Ivan went in for what he perceived as a safe side hug, Till went for the full embrace, leaving them clutching at each other’s shoulders in the absolute worst, most awkward attempt at a friendly “bro” brand of affection Ivan had ever taken part in.

He cleared his throat and stepped away at the girls’ unimpressed looks.

Long night.

This was going to be a looooong night.

~

Dinner was, as Ivan expected, a bit of a disaster.

Ivan sat next to his father at his insistence, and Sua next to her mother, Till at her side and Mizi at Ivan’s. Ivan kept stealing glances over Sua and the parents at Till. Every now and then, he thought he saw Till looking back at him until he remembered Mizi was right by him.

Sensing something was off, Mizi gently nudged his ribs with her elbow and gestured at her plate with her fork when she caught Ivan’s attention. “Your casserole is delicious.” She laughed, a sweet, good-natured sound. “My cookies seem a little childish now.”

“What? No, no, not at all.” Ivan grabbed her hand where it rested near her silverware—a familiar gesture of comfort between them that also happened to present a pretty good front for the performed romance. “I love your baking. If no one else eats them, you know Sua, Till and I will.” He looked back down at his plate, resisting the urge to push his food around like a petulant child. He didn’t have much of an appetite. “Anyway, my mom used to make cookies for the holidays, so…”

Mizi’s expression softened. “Christmases used to be pretty fun around here, huh?”

“Yeah.” Ivan flicked his tongue against the inside of his lower lip, his heart sinking at the memory of a better, more innocent life, before showbiz, before his mom, before Sua’s family, before adulthood. Back when he had a home and wasn’t only surrounded for the holidays because of a lie he made up to seem like less of a fuck-up. “They did.”

“Mizi!” A voice caught their attention; Ivan’s father regarded Mizi curiously, eyeing her from her hair to her dress and jacket. “Tell us about yourself. Ivan has spoken fondly of you.”

“Oh yeah?” Mizi laughed nervously, nudging Ivan’s side again. “Oh, well, you know, we just hit it off. I work in marine biology, and I met Ivan through Sua. Um, what else…”

“Marine biology?” Ivan’s father hummed. “Such an interesting field. Quite a divergence from your major though, right? Music to marine biology is quite the jump.”

Till’s head shot up where he was staring down at his plate. Ivan resisted the urge to “accidentally” spill a glass of wine all over his father’s suit.

Instead, he forced out a laugh. “Mizi’s multi-talented.”

“I suppose she must be.” Ivan’s father nodded approvingly, as though seeing Mizi in a different light. “I must admit, the way Ivan described you, I thought you’d be much different.”

Mizi glanced frantically between Ivan and his father, an obvious cry for help in her green eyes. “Different good or different bad?” she asked with a nervous grin.

“Oh, good, naturally.” Oblivious, Ivan’s father smiled. Sua seemed to be having the time of her life, anyway—technically, her stepfather approved of her girlfriend, though he didn’t know Mizi was her partner and not Ivan’s. “I expected you to be a little wild, truth be told. Though I applaud your hobby in songwriting, it’s hardly sustainable without a label—a good foundation in a science field will serve you well.”

Oh, Till definitely knew. He looked right at Ivan, everything in his bewildered face asking “is this real?”

Mizi scrambled to cover for him, loudly announcing, “Well, the songwriting thing was more of a…passing interest! Ivan knows this. I don’t tell a lot of people about it. Till is really more of the writer.”

Sua’s mother looked at Till with new scrutiny. Till shrunk in his seat like a child being offered a plate of broccoli.

“Really?” Ivan’s father asked, frowning, his thick brows twisted in obvious confusion. “We were under the impression Till was the one more into sciences. It… come to think of it, was it marine biology?”

Now it was Sua’s turn to turn the color of a ripe tomato in her chair.

Served her right. Looks like Ivan wasn’t the only one who got caught red-handed this holiday with a fake partner to cover up for a lack of a heterosexual relationship—or in Ivan’s case, a lack of a relationship as a whole.

“You know,” Ivan said quickly, “maybe you mixed them up. Easy mistake to make.”

His father glanced back and forth, suspicious, but about what, even he didn’t seem to know. In fairness, it wasn’t every day your son took your stepdaughter’s girlfriend as his fake date to your holiday party while your stepdaughter took your son’s crush as her fake date and then spent time with her actual girlfriend, your son’s fake date, on the down low.

It was easy to miss.

“Well,” the man huffed. “Maybe.”

He turned to an executive across from him and down one seat and launched into a new conversation. The topic was effectively dropped.

Ivan hid a bitter glare behind his wine glass.

A whole lot of good that does now.

~

When Mizi found Ivan hiding out on the front porch after dinner with another full glass of wine in hand, she sighed, grabbed his glass, and upended it in the snow, which now looked like a bloody murder had been committed in its presence.

Ivan stared at her blankly. “I don’t think you realize how expensive that wine is.”

“Don’t know, don’t care. I brought you a cookie.” With no further preamble, she thrust a sugar cookie with bubblegum pink frosting into his hands.

Ivan accepted it reluctantly. “You came out here and spilled my drink to give me a cookie?”

“No, the cookie is a mean’s to an end. You’re not driving us later, by the way.” Mizi sank down to sit on the top step of the porch and patted the spot to her left. “Come on, sit.”

“But I was sitting for an hour at dinner.”

“Ivan, do not make me make you sit.”

She was dead serious. She’d done it before and she’d do it again. Her piggyback-transition-to-headlock maneuver was undefeated in multiple regions.

Knowing this, Ivan sat down at her side. He still wasn’t very hungry, but he didn’t want to hurt Mizi’s feelings, so he took a bite of the cookie.

It was really good. No matter how bad things got or how lonely Ivan was, at least there was Mizi’s baking.

“You’ve been moping all night and every day leading up to this.” Mizi mimicked his earlier gesture at the dinner table, covering his cold hand with her smaller, warmer one. “I know you and your dad have a complicated relationship. I understand why you’d be so upset. But I get the feeling there’s something more.” She turned his hand over and stroked her thumb over the longest, most visible scar on his wrist. And god, he hated when she did that. It made him choke on air a little every time. “Why did you agree to come if you knew you wouldn’t have a good time?”

Ivan drew his hand away from hers carefully and wrapped his arms around his knees, sighing and watching his breath fog in the air. “Like you said, it’s complicated. I guess a part of me still wants to please my father, even if I never really can entirely. And I wanted him to see that I can do well on my own. That I’m… functioning beyond what the public sees.”

Mizi rested her chin in the palm of her hand, looking up at him with an expression so gentle he could hardly even look at her. She was so good. She was so kind. He didn’t deserve her. 

“What the public sees doesn’t matter,” she said. “What do you see? How do you see your life, Ivan?”

Pathetic? Pitiful? Laughable? So meaningless it was comedic?

“Like…” He toed the wiring of the string of lights tied around the porch rail. “One of these crappy bulbs that’s burnt out before you even open the package.” He gave Mizi a wry smile, hoping it sounded more humorous than sad, but the look on her face said he failed at that. “I feel like I only showed up to be seen and I’m not really seen anyway.”

“By your father, maybe,” Mizi conceded.

He looked at his shoes.

“By Till?” she pressed, quieter.

Ivan’s shoulders slumped, and he rubbed at his face, trapping a groan behind his teeth. “It’s sad.”

“It’s not sad.” Mizi squeezed his shoulder. “You’re not a sad person. And Till cares about you more than you realize. We all do, you just don’t see it. You won’t.”

“Mizi…” Ivan shook his head and let his hands slide from his face. How could he explain it? How could you even explain something like this? “Mizi, the way he looks at you, if you saw, you would know. The way you and Sua look at each other. I—“ He swallowed, realizing he was giving too much away. “You don’t know.”

Mizi’s hand tightened, then let go entirely. Ivan felt his heart briefly kick in panic—wait, don’t be offended, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that—and then Mizi practically tackled him in a hug, that hug he so desperately needed with the warmth and cheesiness and safety. Ivan let himself lean into her, bringing his own arms up to circle her waist.

“You feel alone,” Mizi murmured. “You think you have no one, and you’re so, so wrong.”

Ivan sniffed from the cold and let his eyes squeeze shut, if only for a second, so he could imagine it was only them in the world. “I know you’re my friend, I do, but it’s not—“

“The same,” Mizi finished, pulling back and gripping his face tight enough to smush his cheeks. “I know. I know it’s not the same. It doesn’t have to be the same. Yeah, I love Sua, but I love you too. Just because it’s a different type of love doesn’t mean I love you less. You don’t mean less to me. You don’t mean less to Sua. You don’t mean less to Till.”

“I don’t think I can believe you.” Ivan winced, entirely at a loss for words. “I wish I could. But you’re so good, Mizi, you’re the greatest girl I’ve ever met and Till should like you. Sua too. I don’t think I’m even jealous of you. I’m not angry with you for what you have. I don’t wish I was like you.” Ivan hesitated. “I just wish I liked being me better.”

Mizi smiled, and for a moment, Ivan thought he was probably just as head over heels in love with her as Till and Sua were, only it wasn’t that he wanted to kiss her, he just wanted to be at her side. He wanted to hold her hand and cook while she baked and hug her on a cold front porch all the time.

This is what having a best friend feels like.

“Ivan.” Mizi shook his face playfully. “You may not feel seen, or wanted, or loved, but I see you, I love you, I want you around. I’m here. You are an amazing, kind, intelligent, funny, loving human being, I adore you, and,” she grabbed the pink cookie and pushed it against his closed lips. “I want you to shut the hell up about how supposedly worthless you are and eat the cookie.”

And if that wasn’t exactly what Ivan needed to hear.

He blinked at her, grinned, and laughed so hard he accidentally butted the cookie from her hand, breaking it in two and sending it skidding down onto the second step of the porch, pillowed by a fine sheet of snow.

“Hey!” Mizi gaped, but, equally unable to take herself seriously, she dissolved into a fit of giggles. “You killed my cookie!”

“My apologies to the cookie. Here, see, it’s fine. You can have half now.” He shoved the more intact half of the sugar cookie into her waiting mouth; it crumbled, and more probably got on the ground than in her mouth. Ivan took a huge bite out of his piece, nearly unable to keep his mouth shut while he chewed because of how much his cheeks hurt when he tried not to grin.

It was the lightest Ivan had felt in a long time.

“Hey,” Mizi told him later that night as they walked to the car, the car keys transferred decidedly to her from a tipsy Ivan, “for what it’s worth, I think if you paid more attention, you’d see that Till and lots of other people look at you that way, too.”

“After he just learned that I’ve described him under your name to people who ask me who I’m seeing?” Ivan snorted. “Not a chance.”

Mizi’s eyes flitted ahead to Sua’s car, where Sua had gracefully climbed in behind her driver and Till was hung up outside the door, looking back over his shoulder at the pair. Which of the two he was fixated on was hard to tell.

“Actually,” Mizi said drily, licking remnants of pink frosting from her molars, “I think your show of idiocy has him hook, line, and sinker.”

Even though Ivan didn’t believe it, he had to admit, it made him feel warm somewhere in his stomach where he must store his feelings of yearning and general longing.

No matter how bad things got or how lonely Ivan felt, at least he wasn’t ever really alone.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

You didn't actually think I would miss this, did you? (Tobin Heath x Reader)

Just a short little fic for Tobin's birthday. Not really edited so mind any mistakes. Hope you enjoy!

Between work getting busy and studying, life has been busy lately so writing has unfortunately been put on the back burner so fics might take longer than usual. My final essay is due in less than 2 weeks so hopefully I'll have more time to write after that!

Words: 1.4k

Y/n: Nobody on earth can make me feel the way you do. Everyday I wake up you continue to amaze me in every way possible. Your kindness, empathy and compassion are what make you the most amazing woman I've ever known. Please never stop being the beautiful, confident and sexiest person that I am madly in love with. Everyday I am blessed to have you by my side. I hope today is filled with love, friendship, surprises and fun. Thank you for going through life with me. Happy birthday my love. I love you today and always.

Toby: Thank you baby. There's no one I'd rather go through life with than you. I love you so much.

Toby: I wish you were here with me today... I miss you

Y/n: I miss you too Toby. We'll see each other soon. I'm sure you'll have an amazing day regardless. I wanted to have this text ready for you to wake up to, but I got busy :(

Toby: It's okay, facetime later?

Y/n: Wouldn't miss it. I have to go, but I'll message you a bit later. I love you

It was Tobin's birthday today. We had been together for 7 years and this was the first birthday that we would be apart for. Since we started dating, we had always made sure to be with each other on our birthdays. This year though, I was playing in Europe meaning I couldn't be there this year. Well that's what she thought anyway. I was out for a couple of weeks with an injury and coach had agreed that I could return to the states as long as I kept up with physio. 

Tobin's birthday happened to fall in the middle of a national team camp. One that I couldn't attend due to being injured. I knew they would be planning something so I had reached out to Ali to let her know I was surprising Tobin. I trusted her to not let it slip and she was able to keep me updated on their plans so I could surprise her. I didn't want to miss her whole birthday, instead I had found a flight that would get me there in time to surprise her at lunch. 

I got through security as quickly as possible. Knowing I was so close to seeing Tobin again was making me impatient. This was probably the longest we had gone without seeing each other. I hated it, but playing internationally had always been a dream of mine. They had organized lunch in the meal room at the hotel seeing as there were so many of them. I quickly dropped my stuff in Tobin's hotel room and cleaned myself up a bit before heading down to the meal room. 

Ali had organized a game of guess the person. Tobin was blindfolded and had to guess who was in front of her based on the feel of their hands and face. The girls smiled widely when they saw me, somehow managing to not completely freak out. I watched Tobin go through a few more of them. There was a wide smile on her face, the corners of her eyes no doubt crinkling. I knew pretty much all of Tobin's expressions at this point, even without properly seeing them. It made me happy knowing that even though she was missing me, she was still able to have fun and be genuinely happy. 

After a few minutes, I stepped up to Tobin, placing her hand on my arm first then my face. I knew there was a high chance that once she felt either of my hands she would know it was me. Besides the years of almost constant hand holding, I had a scar on one of my hands that was very noticeable.

I lent into her touch, enjoying the feeling after almost six months away from her. That must have been a give away, because her hand froze briefly before moving to my eyebrow that also had a scar then my left hand. She ripped the blindfold off, eyes wide as she stared at me in shock. 

"Y/n!" Tobin pretty much squealed, jumping up, arms wrapping around me as she jumped up, legs around my waist, "You're here, you're actually here."

"You didn't seriously think I would miss your birthday did you?"

Tobin kissed me hard, filled with passion and love. I knew the team were watching, fake gags coming from them, but I did care as I cupped the back of her head, not letting her move until we were both out of breath. Tobin watched me for a few seconds before speaking, "I love you so much. How long do I have you for?"

Reluctantly, I put her down, feeling my knee starting ache, "A couple of weeks. Pretty much until I'm ready to join practice again as long as I keep up with physio here."

Since there weren't any real plans for after lunch, Tobin and I snuck off to the room. We didn't do anything other than cuddle and make out a little bit. I was exhausted from my flight, all I wanted to do was hold her after months apart. When Tobin eventually had to go to the bathroom, I got the piece of paper and ring box from my bag. I quickly hid the ring box as Tobin came back into the room. I still wasn't sure if I was going to propose right now with just the two of us or do something with the team later. I wanted to have it with me for when I decided the time was right.

"I got you something."

"You didn't have to, just being here is enough."

"Shush and take it. I think you're going to like this."

I handed her a piece of paper. She read over it slowly before jumping on me, peppering kisses across my face, "You're coming back?!? We get to play together again?"

"I'm coming back. I still have to be there for a couple more months though. I love playing for arsenal, it's been a great experience, but it's not worth how much I miss you." 

A few tears fell down her cheeks as she kissed me slowly before a smile stretched across her face, interrupting the kiss. Her smile was one of my favourite sights so I wasn't mad about it, "You are amazing, I love you Y/n."

"I love you Toby." 

Once again I found myself watching her. Taking in her smile, the way her eyes crinkled, the dimples I was obsessed with, her beautiful eyes that I could look at forever and the short hair that drove me crazy. It was my first time seeing it in person, I had ran my fingers through it countless times already and was currently resisting the urge to do it again. I loved her more than I thought it was possible to love another person. She was the person I craved, the first person I thought of when I woke up or before I went to sleep, the first person I wanted to tell when anything happened. She was the person I wanted by my side for the rest of my life. 

"I meant what I said in my text."

"Which part?"

"All of it. Even after 7 years, you still make my heart race, butterflies and sparks to explode at even the slightest touch. No one has even made me feel the way you do and no one else ever will. I thank everything in this world that you chose me, that I get to be with you and love you every day. You are the only person I want by myside through everything life throws our way. The good, bad, funny, messy, whatever it is, it will be okay because I have you. I am so madly in love with you Tobin Powell Heath, I want to do life with you for as long as you'll have me. Will you marry me?"

Tobin launched forward before I could even get the ring box. She hugged me tightly, tears landing against my neck, "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I love you so fucking much Y/n."

My own tears fell, the happiness bubbling over as I chuckled, "Can I get the ring now?"

"You got me a ring?"

I reached under the pillow for the ring box, opening it for Tobin to see. It was just a simple rose gold band, it fit who she was and the type of style she liked. She grinned widely as I easily slipped it onto her finger, "Of course I did. I've been planning to do this for months now. Only the best for my girl or should I say fiancé?"

"God I can't wait to marry you Y/n."

[jennsterjay]

Clawcode Headcanons (because I could literally talk about them all day)

If Miles G is unsure about someone he'll put up a mask/front with them, but the minute Ganke M walks beside him and says the funniest unfunny joke known to man he snorts and the tough guy act completely crumbles against his will

Ganke M is the 'bro let's have fun' to his 'my life is the grind, all I know is the grind'. Even when Ganke M helps Miles G with complicated missions, afterwards he'll patch him up, then get him some Wcdonalds or King Burger and then play some Mario's Cart with him the rest of the night. Cue them falling asleep together on the couch

I'm still not over the idea of them getting each other Dragon Ball Z matching dog tags (rip to the goat of course 🙏🏾). Like there's so much sauce there it's perfect. Spider-Miles from 1610B would think its the coolest thing ever even when he teases Miles G about it, and the first week Ganke M wears it he makes sure every one can see it proudly around his neck

Ganke is Pan and Miles is Bi and Ganke doesn't think about gender too hard

Miles G: Rap, Trap, Rnb, J-Pop/Anime Music, Rock, and more

Ganke M: K-Rap, K-Rock, Nightcore, Daycore, Rap, Techno, Video Game Osts,  J-Pop/Anime Music and more

And they influence each other's music taste

They know each other's birthdays, favorite foods, shoe sizes, game catalogues, jokes, childhood stories, favorite songs, allergies,  icks, moral boundaries, biggest secrets, and worst fears...and they've only known each other for a year and a few months

Ganke M is simultaneously the class clown and one of the smartest students in his grade. Miles G is the other top student. Despite Miles G wanting to keep a low profile, when he's around Ganke he can't help but joke around and start roasting people and clowning in class too, and the two become pretty popular among the other students. Between their high grades, class disruptions, pranks, one or both of them disappearing to 'use the bathroom for a sec', prize winning robotics projects, funny jokes, and passing test scores...their teachers don't know if they should flip a coin to give them awards for their grades or to send them back to detention again

Rio and Jefferson were suspicious of Ganke M at first, thinking he was a bad influence, but eventually they warmed up to him and welcomed him after seeing how much he made his son smile. Even after Jeff was no longer there, Rio would still smile and welcome Ganke to their house just like they always had. Ganke sometimes even stops by to cook some Korean dishes and helps clean up whenever he visits Miles.

When Aaron Davis finds out Ganke M knows Miles G's big secret, he meets with Ganke alone for the first time (even though he would meet him once or twice in passing when Jeff was alive, they've never really talked to each other until this moment). At first Aaron is intimidating and tries to tell Ganke to stay out of Miles' business, but Ganke has never been a pushover and refuses. After a while, Aaron can see his determination and realizes Ganke's loyalty to Miles isn't shakeable. He sees something in Ganke that reminds him of himself. So Aaron says if he really wants to help Miles, then he needs to become stronger. It's after this that Aaron teaches him to box and fight, and teaches him more about tech, engineering, surveilance, tracking, stealth, and hydraulics.

Even though Miles G can hear his mom in his ear saying not to waste any food, Miles doesn't like eating the crust on sandwiches or pizza. But that's ok because Ganke will eat his own food and then eat the crust for him. Ganke will eat the tomatoes off of Miles' burgers too

Months after Miles G and Ganke M meet their universe's Gwen V. Stacy aka Gwenom, and she becomes an ally, she admits to them that she thought they were a couple at first. They weren't dating yet so she's not completely right, but with the way the two look at each other after she says that, she knows she's not completely wrong either. She totally teases them about it.

In this universe Dr. Ophelia Octavious is an African American scientist, ruler, and engineer who is part of the Sinister Six and runs a big part of the city. Miles G and Dr. Octavious have a Sonic the Hedgehog and Dr.Eggman type dynamic. Miles G keeps getting in the way of her plans and she knows he somehow has a connection to the original Prowler. Still, she secretly admires the kid for his heart and genius at least, not that she would admit this. One time at her base she successfully captures Ganke M saying "I have your little boyfriend" to try to get leverage over Miles G, but Ganke M is smarter than he looks and doesn't give her any information right before he escapes on his own with a dohickey he has in his pocket. When Miles G comes in to save the day and go toe to toe with Octavious, Ganke M looks from side to side and backs up towards a computer terminal and inserts a flash drive that hacks into and shuts down her whole system. Ganke and Miles slip away when the lights shut off, and all Octavious can see in the darkness is a computer terminal that has an anime girl dancing with flashing text that says 'Get Miku-ed'. Dr. Octavious is in disbelief and has several emotions at once before laughing and saying "I hate heroic teenage couples"

Their universe's Felicia L. Hardy will either work with you, be your ally, con you, or sell you out and Miles and Ganke don't know what to make of her. She guesses they're a couple almost immediately with the way they fight her (when Ganke already has his own suit) and even when they're on different sides, she teases them like she's an aunt or a big sister. Eventually they meet her girlfriend and even she teases them affectionately too.

Ganke's mom cooks Miles so much food when he visits (even when they don't have a lot) and Miles struggles to finish it because he's already so full from the first five plates but it's ingrained in him not to waste food. He taps out and brings the rest back home in Tupperware for him and his mom.

Ganke M and Miles G go to the rooftop a lot to listen to music and look at the stars together. Now that they know their universe is so big and that there are other universes out there, it really puts it into perspective that in the grand scheme of things they're grateful for what they do have in this world...

And that is each other

[nextinline-if]

June 25th, 2023 - Chapter 2 Progress DevBlog

I'm pretty disappointed with my progress this week but I had to work late a lot. I started working at a start-up a couple months ago and I really like it but it's been crazy busy. Anyway...

Progress with writing was pretty slow last week. Because the game was beta tested this past week (thank you to those who assisted!), I spent most of my time fixing a bunch of coding errors since I suck. lol. Here's what I did coding-wise (you'll see these changes when chapter 2 comes out):

fixed a bunch of conditional errors and a couple javascript ones where I accidentally added a period (RIP);

re-did some of the color schemes...again. It should be easier to read and I feel like I got the light/dark themes to a better place;

you can now change the font size and you can now choose OpenDyslexic as a font type.

okay, that doesn't sound like a lot. See screenshots at the end for a glimpse!

I wrote 3,293 words... I'm planning to write every day for at least 2-3 hours this week to catch up. Ideally, I would write 2K words a day.

I think there are about 20,000 more words to finish chapter 2? Just my estimate though.

Here is where things stand for Chapter 2...

Word Count (includes some code):

Current demo word count: 59,479

Current word count for just ch 2: 82,920

Total game word count (including ch2): 142,399 and counting...

Next, here's the scene order and what's written/coded/in progress:

Scene 1 - completely written and coded

Scene 2 - completely written and coded

Scene 3 - completely written and coded

Scene 4 - completely written and coded

Scene 5 - completely written and coded

Scene 6 - completely written and coded

Scene 7 - completely written and coded

Scene 8 - completely written and coded

Scene 9 - completely written and coded

Scene 10 - partially written and partially coded (sorry no percentage, I hate math)

Scene 11 - in progress (4 main branches)

Scene 12 - completely written and coded

Scene 13 - completely written and coded

Additionally, because I was so busy, I forgot to log in to Patreon and pause it. I've had it paused for a couple of months because I don't have time to do extra content and I don't want anyone to pay for no reason! However, I slipped up, so I went ahead and left it open right now and uploaded the current build with the incomplete chapter 2. I don't recommend anyone subscribe just to play it since it's not done but it's there in case someone wants to or is already subscribed. I anticipate adding a couple more scene variations next week.

Below are a few screenshots of what the game looks like. There's even a snippet of a scene from Ch2. It's not super different! But I think it looks better?

Oh, if you want to read a couple beta tester thoughts, keep looking, otherwise, thanks for taking the time to read!

Thank you and I hope you all have a great week <3

[catbearexe]

BACK FROM LONG HIATUS! IF YOU ARE NOSY OR NEW, PLEASE READ!!!

WOW it has been such a long time since i've used this platform. I used to use this website to religiously to feed my anime and video game fan art addiction as well as share my artworks. Here's what I've been up to since!

My mental health took a massive nosedive into the void. I didn't think I was going to even make it through college at all. Though, I think that is pretty common during the COVID era, but my mental health as always been a problem wayyy before the pandemic.

I attempted to delete myself permanently on New Year's Eve of 2021, but I woke up to DIY surgery on arms, multiple bottles of empty liters of vodka, and unfortunately...still alive. When I came to around 5:00AM, I figured that I needed to leave my toxic environment and ended up staying at a friend's house for a few weeks before I started my first day at my first internship in the co-op program. I made a few drawings here and there and posted on my Instagram, but they never really made rounds and I had a long pause in drawing overall for a good couple of years due to being under an immense amount of stress, school, athletics, and working multiple jobs to stay afloat. I was eventually able to stay in a dorm. But, when the bill came around for the semester, all of my internship money went down the drain to pay for just staying on campus at my University despite not taking any classes. It was over $5000 dollars by the time the spring semester ended, and my university doesn't tell you the cost of dormitory until the last week of the semester.

I did get my first partner around 3-4 months of going no-contact with my family in 2022, and then ended it around New Years of 2023 due to their family having strong bigoted beliefs based on their faith in Christianity. It came to a great disdain to me that they never even knew what I looked like, or knew what my name was until 3 months after we separated despite being together for about 9 months prior. It also didn't help that I went cold-turkey on zoloft as it began to be too expensive (my psychiatrist was also very judgmental and made me feel ashamed and each 10-15 minute session was over $200 co-pay).

I decided (last second) to obtain my graduate degree in my university's accelerated program, allowing me to obtain my master's in engineering within a year instead of 2. During my final spring semester for my undergraduate program, I was taking classes for my bachelors, masters, and physics minor at the same time. Yet, I had a massive improvement in my performances athletic-wise despite the busy schedule and stress I amassed.

When I graduated with my bachelors degree, my mother decided to show up to my graduation unannounced and made a scene, screaming at the top of her lungs that she always supported me and tried kissing my face in front of my class and my beloved friends that I actually invited. For context, my family were my first and only bully. Before I was able to have my own bank account, any money that I made went straight to them and I would have to beg them to give me my money to buy anything. Additionally, they ripped through my mail and got very upset that I got into school at all. It was like I was expected to fail so hard to give them an excuse to get rid of me. It also happened to solidify that my parents now know that I am a transman as my university outted me unintentionally. The looks of disgust spread around me while I was trying to shove her off of me, and she never apologized due to her thought that "that is my DAUGHTER! I can do whatever I want!"

(I am a transman, and have been out for almost 8+ years at this point)

During my summer master classes, I was able to obtain another internship that was flexible to maintain during my time in the master's program and fit with my athletic schedule. That internship ended up becoming the most flexible and fun job I ever had and solidified the reason why I chose mechanical engineering as my career path.

However, during that summer I ended contact with a 10+ year group friendship. I knew that there had to be a time for work-life balance, but it felt impossible with the things I had on my plate. The immense guilt in having to prioritize my studies and survival over my long-term friends picked at me for years. I had to choose pulling irritated all-nighters with sleep problems or miss payments of over $550/MONTH for student loans as well as my schooling, rent, bills, etc. I had to sacrificed meals because of the cost and time to even eat.

A few weeks later, my grandfather on my mother's side passed away, and my mother broke down after the first mass how "I NEED you to forgive me" because she missed me and everybody kept asking her about me, making her look bad because of how I was just cut out of the entire family. She never calculated that people in real life actually cared about me, and it took everything inside of me to not blow up in her face. She is grieving, yet she only cared about how she was perceived by other people.

Regardless of the scholarship, which I was awarded in exchange for becoming a graduate assistant for the undergraduate courses, I ended up having to reach out to my father that I cut contact with to sign off on my loan as I had nobody. As much as I did not want to having not contacted them in almost 2.5 years, I didn't want to drop out of school and had no where else to turn to. So I did. My younger sister notified me that our beloved grandmother may not make it past 2024. It devastated me. I decided to break no-contact after years of estrangement and began to cautiously come back to visiting my grandmother's household where my parents resided. It was no surprise that their treatment wasn't any different than when I had left, and tried my best to keep it together for the sake of the only family member that treated me like a person.

On a random side note, I decided to try to put myself out in the dating field again about 8 months after my ex-partner and I separated. However, it has come to a disdain from my now ex-friendships that I went on dates with men instead of getting responses back from women (the street works both ways, I can't force women to go on dates with me). I eventually found myself in a confusing relationship with an infantry officer that lasted for about 3 months until he messaged if we were just friends and apologized if he is being confusing. A month later, a close friend of mine messaged me the Tiktok account of said-situationship obtaining a boyfriend shortly after he sent me that message. They also showed the demographic of their audience being creepy old men thirsting over an online thirst trap of someone who is in twink-death denial. When they texted me 9 months after we saw each other, I made sure I made them sweat by telling them that I knew about their secret account. As it turns out, their family is not only extremely Christian, but he and all of his siblings were homeschooled. His family does not even accept his current partner. Despite the whole fiasco he pulled, I couldn't help but still feel sorry for him as I was in the same position once.

The whole year of 2023 had me feeling like I was on top of the world. When Christmas came around, I was just stuck in another depressive episode for another 9 months. My athletic performance went on a massive decline, I was stuck in my room isolating myself, and I was struggling academically and was terrified that I would lose my scholarship. Despite all of this, I still passed, I got my degree, I got a full-time high paying job right out of graduate school, and moved into my apartment.

To put the nail in the coffin, my partner and I rekindled our relationship and now live together happily. I was terrified that I was going to lose him again after he moved in as I started testosterone the day after running in my last collegiate NCAA event of my life. The irritation, the mood swings, the h0rnY definitely put our relationship to the test. I even asked him if he even loved me at all. Even after me lashing out, being a terrible person, seeing me at my worst, he sat me down and talked to me. He communicated that if I have a problem with anything, I need to tell him directly. He assured me that we can be mad at things, but we will get through it and we will figure it out. In the first time of my life, I felt okay with accepting parts of me that are hard to deal with and never even knew about. The anger of everything eventually went away within about 3-4 months. We now happily live together, go on dates, and are now hoping to go on an out-of-country trip to Japan at some point.

While our relationships has solidified, my health had other plans. After 5 years of not seeing a doctor, I finally had the time and funds to seek help again. I found that the sarcoma, that I was diagnosed with all throughout high school, is in my right lung an grew 6 times the size in comparison to my last scan. My wisdom teeth in my right upper and lower jaw will need an evaluation from an oral surgeon because it seems to be fused to my skull and packed in, my lazy eye has gotten significantly worse and will need 10-12 days of no work from surgery. I used up most of my PTO to go to all of these appointments, only to find that I will need more than 2 sessions of surgeries because of neglecting my health for so long. Gotta thank the American healthcare system am I right?

When I got in touch with a therapist, they explained that my brain has been under excessive survival mode for too long that my window of tolerance is so miniscule. Wrong turn, spilling a cup of jawn, any minor mistakes could result in a massive meltdown as I am not used to being in an environment where there is little to no stress. Thankfully it has gotten A LOT better.

I also got in touch with a lot of schoolmates I have been meaning to hang out with. Turns out they had the same thought and were afraid that I didn't like them anymore because of their focus on schoolwork. This phenomenon of my friends in STEM losing friends due to academics was sadly a common theme, and I am so thankful that they understood that we both have stressful lives we are living. What a time to be in to laugh at each other having the same thought when it turned out we were in the same boat.

When my ex-friend reached out to me again about a year later, I felt the utter guilt of having to turn down their offer to reconvene as I had a LOT of oncology appointments and getting used to moving into a new apartment as well as my job while taking care of my sick grandmother. I had no furniture for 3-4 months, and was in great disdain when they guilt tripped me that I made them a low priority over my lung having another growing sarcoma along with spending my time with the only family member that treated me like a person.

Another downside I have found is that I may have girl-bossed too hard all of my life. I used to over-extend myself in social situations and use unfortunate coping mechanism to last over an hour. Now, it takes everything in me to go out in public, especially to my Muay Thai classes. I can't help but feel my arms tremble and heartbeat racing when I leave my little apartment space.

It is now 2025, my partner and I live happily together, I have reconnected with my hobbies, and can finally relax and enjoy myself without feeling the insane amount of dread of what is coming next. I am also currently figuring out where to get tested for autism and ADHD as my brother exhibited almost the same symptoms I did with the exception that my parents actually cared about him to get him therapy and medication (his meds barely hold him back).

Life is great, and I am so glad to be back!

[lucigraves]

Can't scroll through any social media without reporting/blocking an ad every other post. Personal creations get no traction. Endless amounts of art tossed into the void only to get drowned out beneath ads or bad faith opinions from someone with 100k followers (majority of whom are either bought or bots) who's completely lost touch with reality. Most social media runs exclusively off of a negative feedback loop, you spend so much time being angry at someone who hit post on something just for clicks. They don't think about you, they don't think about consequences because they're making $ off of you being upset.

Can't drive down a highway without being blinded by full LED screens bigger than my house advertising businesses I've known about for 10+ years. The cost of keeping every light on all 25 billboards in a 10 mile stretch would cover the cost of universal housing for the local area for 5+ years. 5 more storage units pop up in whatever land is left for sale.

Can't listen to a streaming service without an ad after every song. Can't listen to podcasts without 10-20 minutes of paid advertisements; all of them are either gacha games (gambling), weight-loss fads, pyramid schemes, therapy with unlicensed physicians who data mine your personal info or some brand you'd have to be living under a rock to not know. Every YouTube content creator makes videos exclusively about covering some topic or fad you should avoid on TikTok, seemingly bringing the topics even more attention than it had before; 30 minutes long with a 10 minute paid advertisement in the middle.

Can't make important phone calls without being met with automated help systems that never have an option for the issue you're having. If you're lucky enough to get sent to a real person you end up waiting 15+ minutes on hold and most of the time get disconnected before you get through, successfully wasting 30 minutes to an hour of you're limited free time.

Every streaming service has new shows and movies every day. One season, three if you're really lucky. And no more 12-24 episode series, now its 8 episodes, because that's whats bingeable. Nothing good approved for more than 2 seasons and maybe a double feature movie to tie up all of the loose ends they thought they had time to finish up before they dared to put a queer character in their cast. Is buying the media physically worth an ad every 20 minutes? Does it even exist physically; or is it another series that'll be lost to time because corporate noticed they can't make an extra $0.05 on every stream.

Every other ad is temu or shein, every product photo is blatantly ripped off of some individual creator on etsy who handmade the item and hasn't gotten a sale in 6 months. Every corporation relies on stealing from solo artists and creators and mass-producing their one-of-a-kind pieces. If they're lucky enough they'll be allowed to do a collab with a big company, all so they can make 2% of the profit.

All of this on top of having to work however many hours you need to to survive, to get by on (probably) the bare minimum, to scrape by. To pay rent to someone who owns 15 properties and charges you double what they pay monthly. Hoping (for your wallet's sake) that you don't have any emergencies lest you empty out what little savings you've been able to put aside. You get maybe 3 hours of free time in your day between keeping up with household needs. All of that, only to have to fight your way through all of the advertisements to try to enjoy the few minutes of free time you get for yourself.

I wish I could put this into words in a more palatable way, but I'm just so tired of being frustrated that so much of my limited time on earth is being wasted so someone else can make $0.0005 on 30 seconds of my life. I'm tired of being advertised to. There's so few places left worth my time on the internet anymore, because they prioritize a few cents to the ceo over me.

[sadchip]

Rehabilitation Is Bullshit

This fic is nearly 100% based off of an idea @letmerambleplease had.

TW: Lots of cussing, Valentino.

Part 2

Velvette walks into her new room and sighs. She's only been here three days and she misses her linen sheets. Her plushies. And dammit, maybe she misses her friends a little. Not that she'd ever tell them that.

She looks at her luggage. She doesn't wanna unpack this shit. Then again she kinda has to, so…

She picks up her luggage and she pulls everything out, laying it on her bed and shoving her bags in the closet.

She grabs the spare fabric and the notebooks she brought. Just because she's trying to get revenge doesn't mean she's going to get behind on her work. She has a line coming out in a few months.

Despite what some may think she actually does love her job. And her business partners however begrudgingly it may be.

She pulls out her clothes and shoves them in the closet and the dresser.

When she's done putting her stuff away she sits at the desk that's at the front of the room. She's really fucking bored. She pulls out her notebook and a pencil. Might as well get some work done.

But she can't, the ideas are all garbage. She can't get shit done when she's bored. She makes her emotions. The designs will be boring, and that just won't do. She groans and hits her head on the table.

She really should stop doing that.

Suddenly she gets the feeling that she's being watched. She looks around, but no one is there. She shrugs, she's probably gone insane with boredom. Vox will have to pick her up in a body bag.

She chuckles at the thought. She can't wait to have him on his knees begging for her to come back. Maybe she wants to go back a little too.

Not because she misses them or anything… She misses her room. Nothing more, nothing less.

She stands up and sits on the bed, it's comfortable enough. She's about to get back up when she hears a knock. She gets up and answers it.

The Princess is standing there, smiling. “Hey!” She says happily. It's honestly annoying how upbeat she is. “We're going to do an activity, do you wanna join us?”

Velvette wants to refuse, to slam the door in her face. But she's so fucking bored. “Sure, its not like I have anything better in this shitty hotel.” She answers, brushing past Charlie.

Charlie follows her, trying to make small-talk the entire time. Velvette wants to rip her eyes out. Does this bitch ever shut up?

They all sit in the living room. Velvette is in a chair in front of the radio demon. She doesn't get what Vox sees in him. The guys teeth are fucking disgusting, and he smells like shit.

Charlie stands in front of them. “Okay, now that we have somebody new I thought it would be fun to play a game!” She says happily as she looks at everyone.

Nobody seems interested, she either isn't interested or doesn't care, because she just keeps on talking. “Okay, everyone get onto the floor!”

Velvette ends up sitting beside the princess and her girlfriend. Charlie explains that they'll all be playing two truths and a lie to get to know each other.

Charlie starts smiling as she thinks. “Okay… Lucifer is my dad, my eyes are blue, and my favorite color is red!”

Velvette scoffs. This will be a long day.

Around thirty minutes passes and eventually it's Velvette's turn. She thinks for a moment before she speaks. “I died in the late 2000's, I hate the color brown, and…” She smirks, pointing to Nifty. “I watched that one kill an angel.”

Charlie smiles. “Ooh! Ooh! That one!” She says, seemingly proud that she found out the ‘right answer’

Velvette cocks her head to the side, still smirking. “I died in 2012.”

Charlie's eyes widen almost comically.

—

It's day five and Velvette is still bored as shit. She's currently sitting in the lounge area, she's playing on her phone. Angel Dust and that fucking cat are talking at the bar.

Angel Dust has been shooting glares at her every fucking chance he can. Too bad, Valentino would lose his shit if he thought they were hanging out…

She stands up and walks over to the bar, she smiles at the cat guy. “Whiskey.” She says simply as she scrolls through her phone.

He starts making it, mumbling curses under his breath. Velvette turns to Angel Dust, a smirk on her face. She flips her phone to Angel and he chokes on his drink.

On her screen is a picture of Valentino tripping and eating shit on some pavement. He thinks she deleted it, but he doesn't have to know.

“Here's the deal.” She starts, turning off her phone. “You take a few pictures with me while I'm here. It will piss Valentino off. And I'll also give you that lovely picture.”

Angel Dust stares at her for a moment. He smiles and takes the drink that the cat guy made for him without him even asking for it. He drinks it. “You had me at pissing off Valentino.”

AN: Hey, I finally updated this, I couldn't really find a way to improve it, so I just posted it as is. All in all I kinda like it.