#had a lot of potential I wish she could come back to the games someday lol

[drawloverlala]

Berkana from Megaman Xtreme 2.

[prose-for-hire]

Star Cross’d Lovers

Pairing: Spike x reader (gender not mentioned)

Request: Could you do a Spike x female reader where she just started collage and had a night out with her friends and her and Spike noticed each other and couldn’t stop staring at each other but then she gets dragged away by her friends and then for the next few days tries to find him again and when she finally does tries to subtly catch his attention and he sees her after he’s been doing the same and then they are both so stunned by each other?

Requested by: Anon

A/N: I got Romeo and Juliet (1996) vibes from this request (you know when they look through that fish tank in the Baz Luhrmann film?). I listened to kissing you by Des’Ree a lot while I wrote this lol.

Again, with all of these I’ve been posting recently sorry about the wait!! I’ve had this real sudden surge of inspiration and I’m just rolling with it and hoping it doesn’t run out ! 💜

You were enjoying college so far. You hadn’t really been one for going out much before you moved to UC Sunnydale. However, you went out more often now. Especially because your new friends all went out so often – if you didn’t come you would only miss something important.

Usually, you would read. Romantic novels, epic sweeping tales that filled the emptiness you felt from that particular emotion. There was a void that needed filling. You felt somedays as if nobody truly saw you. As if there was something about you that didn’t fit the way it did with everyone else.

You wished you didn’t feel so lonely some days. Even when you were in a room with friends you felt it. This feeling inside that was told you there was something missing. Something lost in the back of your mind that you knew intrinsically but it just would not come to the forefront.

To prevent yourself from dwelling on this, you often filled your moments with distraction. Reading and learning. Meeting your friends and dancing at the local club on the weekend.

Upon moving to Sunnydale, you had noticed something odd about a good amount of the population you now lived alongside. After dark in the demons began to rise. You had researched it extensively and heard snippets when people dared to mention it.

Contrary to popular opinion, humans all knew about it, but rarely spoke of it. It was an unsaid rule that you didn’t express interest or date anyone that was a vampire or you suspected was a vampire. It could be hard to tell sometimes, but so long as you stayed with your group of friends at least one of you could usually identify one. Protect the rest.

It was Friday evening and you were getting ready to go out with your friends. The whole group had crashed your dorm and the music was loud as you got dressed and some did makeup. You had a little to drink, a pre-game before the real night out. You laughed and enjoyed the buzz around you.

It was a themed club night, a ‘masquerade ball’ kind of vibe. Except, all you needed to get in was a mask that at least resembled what it was supposed to. You took it a little more seriously, dressing and finding a mask that you thought was stylish and yet accurate.

When you finally got in, after waiting around the block to enter, the atmosphere was electric. There was live music and everyone seemed to be in a good mood.

The air crackled with life, the possibilities endless. The night was young and so full of promise. So many vibrations ran through your body as you swayed between the crowd, soaking up every second of the atmosphere.

You went straight to the bar to get your drink of choice. Smiling and laughing as your friends spoke about their plans for the evening. You smiled at them, chipping in when you could.

You were on the periphery. You felt it so acutely. Something nibbling on the back of your mind. Your insecurity gnawed into, releasing slight electricity shocking your nerves.

You shook your thoughts away. Smiling as your friend took your hand. Pulling you towards the dancefloor. The music was so loud it was deafening. You swayed and jumped, trying to let yourself go. Let your thoughts roll off you.

Spike was watching the dancefloor from afar. His eyes had scanned the crowd. He was stood in the shadows, on the peripheries of the bar. His surroundings were monotonous. Nothing he hadn’t seen a million times over before. The landscape could have been baron for all he cared.

It was the same night in and night out. He had reluctantly slipped a mask on his face because this bar sold spirits that hadn’t been as watered down as the rest in the area.

He shrugged some drunk guy off him as he tried to lean in and tell him something that he had heard in every language. Every accent before. A comment on how hot the people surrounding them were, how he was going to take as many home as he could. That he wanted to know Spike’s opinion.

But he just ignored the human, pushing him back into the crowd. He took a gulp of beer, eyes still just watching. Everything was bland, tasteless. He wanted more. He wanted to live, despite his current lack of life. He wanted love, despite his broken and walked over heart.

He found his bottle was empty. Again. He rolled his eyes. Staring into the emptiness. He threw it to the ground, ignoring the shouts as the glass smashed against the wall near-missing some masked strangers.

He stalked back to the bar, just as you fought with the sea of dancers to take a break from all of the bodies writhing against yours on the dancefloor. You leaned in, over the bar to try and get someone’s attention. But upon this action was when your life drastically changed course.

You saw him. On the opposite end of the bar. The man that your dreams would dream of.

Your eyes met his. And time stopped. You began drowning in the blue of his eyes. These striking eyes were so blue you were sure they would rename the colour after him should any other gaze into his soul this way.

The music around you slowed. You felt the vibrations through you but it was as if the volume was turned all the way down. As if they knew this was your moment. That it would only now be you and him.

All you could see was him, he was fast becoming in every sense of yours. You wanted to be consumed by him, completely. When his eyes met yours he had he gasped, without need. He was instantly in awe of you. He had never seen someone with such beauty. Such radiance without

You glowed with the incandescence of the sun he could not cast his eye upon. But he would no longer wish or think of this insignificant mass of light. When there you were. Now the very centre of his universe. His sun.

You inspired awe. Your features were perfection, he wished to trace his fingers along your cheek. Your jaw. He wished to press his lips to yours. To unite in a way that was so intimate. He wanted all of you. He needed you.

He knew. He knew you were everything he could ever want. More, even. One look was all that it took.

You smiled, looking down slightly, rubbing the back of your neck at his penetrating gaze. This meant something. This was love, he had never been so sure of it. Or at least the potential for that to blossom. He had never felt anything like it. It was new. Refreshing. You were everything he had been waiting for.

For centuries. Even beyond that.

He began to move with purpose, towards you and you opened your mouth as if to speak. His heart would have skipped a beat if it could as he anticipated how your voice would sound. What beautiful words you could bestow upon him. What syllables he was about to treasure for the rest of his existence.

Just as you took a breath to speak, to put your affections into words, your friends surrounded you. They giggled and hollered and started to pull you back towards the dancefloor. You giggled along with them, but turned back to try to move back towards him. One of your friends saw him and stopped laughing, tugging your arm more urgently to come away with them. You turned to look at him over your shoulder, giving an apologetic look before you were pulled away by the current of people.

You couldn’t enjoy yourself now you had been torn from him. You looked for him the entire night, after that. Your eyes scanning the crowd but you had no luck. You would know him no matter what, you were sure of it. Your heart was promised to his. There had been nobody that you had felt such a connection with before.  

You didn’t realise, but he was looking for you too. Nobody had made his spirits rise the way you had with just one look. Nobody had made such an impression. He was admittedly love’s bitch, but this feeling was a complete revelation. He felt the Earth shifting. He was transfixed on your face, memorising your features. You glowed, igniting something deep in his soul. Something he had long since lost.

You were just missing each other each time, eventually the night came to a close and you went home, as did he, your separate ways.

You had heard what your friend had thought of him. Hinting that he was a demon, not the kind you could possibly fall in love with as a human. But that didn’t matter to you, you were so sure he was the answer to a question you had never had the words to even ask before.

The way he had looked into your eyes, he saw you. More than the people you had known for years. Perhaps more than you knew yourself. You were so sure of it. So sure that you were meant to be with him. To hold him and to be held by him. To adore and cherish. To love and be loved.

You were back in your dorm. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you looked out into the night. You sighed, wishing he would be there waiting. Having found you somehow, some way. Having heard your heart calling out to his. But he wasn’t, he was on the other side of town, hoping that every stranger he passed was you. That every voice he heard would be the one he had so sorely missed out on hearing.

In the bleak, lonely light of the following morning you had decided you weren’t going to be able to rest until you saw him again. Spoke to him, laid your intentions bare to him. Just as he was thinking the same.

Where you had gone out only a handful of times, you started going out every night. Hitting every dive bar and club that you could find in the town you now called home. You searched, your heart aching.

You went to a bar and he was scanning the crowd at a different club. You were walking through the streets almost stopping every stranger you could find and he was doing the same but on the college campus. You circled each other, a well-choreographed dance. Neither of you gave up. You couldn’t, you knew you would never rest until you found him.

One night, your dreams came true. His hopes, his pining for you reaching its peak as he caught a glimpse of you. His heart ached for you. He wished to drop to his knees, take it from his chest and hand it to you. He could only wish you would take it. Look after it the way he felt deep within that you would.

He had pressed your image into his mind. You lived there, in his head. As if he could conjure you up just by wishing it. But nothing could compare to the vision before him.

He knew it was you straight away. He called out and you turned. As if you knew.

Neither of you cared about those that would not trust this union. Your human friends. The demons that hated his affection for a human. Some had already tried to fight him over it.

You saw his face and smiled softly, your legs moving towards him of their own accord. As if you were being pulled by an unstoppable force. But you never willed it to stop. Only to bring you closer. To be by his side. In death, in life. In any way. You would surrender it all. For him.

His face lifted as you stepped closer. His hand reached for you. To dare graze his thumb along your cheekbone. You leaned into his touch. Eyes closing and breath catching.

You yearned for him. Almost wept at the contact. You slid your hands, resting on his elbows as both hands now reached for your face. His hands felt rough, but his touch was gentle against your skin as they slid against your cheeks.

His lips caught yours. Soft and urgent. Desperate and reluctant, as if he was worried he would break you. You were lost in this kiss.

Time stopped and nothing could ever be the same. It was your first meeting but one so familiar it transcended this mere moment. This was forever.

An eternal love. You felt whole. It had the power to ensoul. To renew each other’s faith in love and life itself.

Little were you aware that the stars had plans for you both, the fates were aligning and you were not aware in which way they would sway. You didn’t care.

All that mattered was him.

[simonsrosebud]

Alright — this is very important — what’s the wedding party look like? Do either of them get walked down the aisle? What do the bachelor parties look like? What’s the first dance like? The cake cutting? OR! Do they just elope?

Either way, the most important thing of all — what are their vows?

i’m going to warn you:  i’m afraid this is going to be a very long post.

the wedding is in january, before playoffs have the chance to start up.  it’s easier that way also, because most of their friends either play exy or coach it, so they’re all off too.  and dalton’s professor friends are off for winter break.

that being said, they’re on a time crunch for bachelor parties.  and since kevin doesn’t drink or anything, the idea of the “typical bachelor” party is out of question.  kevin doesn’t care for a bachelor party for himself, anyway.

however, when andrew is added to a groupchat with the whole wedding party, he sends two texts.  not to the group, but to allison.  she’s the one handling it, anyway.

the first text is a link to elton john at madison square garden, the second is a text.  

hamilton on broadway friday the 14th, concert 15th.

(ik the timelines don’t technically match up, but since this is all fictional who cares)

it’s perfect.  allison checks with dalton to be sure, and he lights up.  apparently kevin has gotten really into hamilton because duh it’s history, and elton john is one of his favorite artists, especially after dalton introduced him to “your song” in college.

dalton goes with him because they know kevin would want him there, unlike normal bachelor parties where you spend it without your fiancé.

as for dalton’s, he gets taken to florida (it’s only like a 5 hour drive i think but they could fly also) and his friends, who for the most part are straight besides emmie, a blazing proud lesbian, take him to gay bars on gay bars, and then go to star wars land in disney world for a day- kevin’s idea.  dalton is very excited about this because in this ask dalton reveals he’s a star wars fan and says he’d like to go see it someday.  they also get drunk in disney, don’t worry.

they both have good sized wedding parties.  for dalton, it’s carmen, bella, and his best friends jenna, reid, and sam.

for kevin, it’s andrew, neil, and dan.  if anyone asked kevin in college if he’d thought she would be in his wedding party- or even if they’d leave college being friends, he would have said no, but he was stupid to think the foxes would ever lose touch.  if anything, he got closer.

he’s also gotten closer than he ever would have probably wished to allison.  there’s something to be said for the both of them having good taste.  all it took was one trip of clothes shopping for a banquet for them to realize they’d had a lot more in common.

the only reason they never realized it was because they’ve both got the same level of stubbornness.

which is why she somehow ends up being asked to be in his wedding party, too.

kevin isn’t worried about asking neil.  a little about andrew, but he can always get neil to talk him into it.  he stops them both from leaving after practice, one day.  “will you be my groomsmen?  both of you?”

neil really doesn’t look surprised.  not even phased.  he’d been matt’s best man, after all.  “yeah, sure.”

kevin looks to andrew, who hasn’t moved a muscle.

when he does, it’s to swing his bag around his shoulder.  "no speeches.”  and before he gets to the door.  “and no one’s wrapping their arm around mine down the aisle.”  and that’s more than okay with kevin.  he doesn’t really want them speaking, anyway.

and then there’s dan and allison.  he isn’t worried about them, so all he does is text them and they agree.

there’s no more than 70 people there.  the actual ceremony only about 30.  it’s not big by any means, but they didn’t want it big anyway.  plus, kevin doesn’t have a whole group of family to invite like dalton does in the first place.  he doesn’t mind, though, because he’s grown to consider dalton’s family his own.

kevin doesn’t get walked down the aisle.  he never saw himself doing that with a woman before he realized he was bi and could potentially marry a man, so he’s never cared for it.

wymack, however, officiates the wedding.  he’s very proud of it, too.  he never seems to show nerves, and he doesn’t let kevin know, but this is something that causes him great stress.  he can’t fuck it up.

he doesn’t, of course.

he’s standing beside kevin when dalton gets walked down the aisle by his mother, and kevin told himself he wouldn’t get emotional.

he lets out a breath and a soft laugh, then looks up at the ceiling to blink away the sudden wetness in his eyes.

when anne hands him off, she kisses kevin on the cheek and whispers.  “all yours now, love.”

kevin wants to kiss dalton so bad.  so so bad.  but he has to wait.  instead he gives him a wink and takes his hands.  he expects them to be a tiny bit sweaty like they sometimes are when he gets nervous, but they’re not.  dalton’s grip is firm, and the only thing kevin can see on him is glee.

kevin feels he barely can pay attention to the words his father is saying until it’s time for the vows.  he’s first.  he takes a deep breath.pays attention to what his father is saying, too busy staring at his fiancé.  until they get to the vows, that is.

kevin is first, and his heart has never beat this fast.  he memorized his vows, but just in case, he unfolds the paper from his pocket and takes the microphone.  “i’ve made plenty of bad decisions in my life.  going to the club the night before a game, trying to fix the kitchen sink by myself.”  he smiles when dalton laughs at the memory.  “d, i knew from the moment i told you about my demons and you stayed, that choosing you was the best decision i’ve made in my entire life.  your are the strength i didn't know i needed, and the joy that i didn't know i lacked.”  dalton mouths i love you.  “thank you, for supporting and loving me unconditionally, i know i haven’t always made it easy.”

dalton gives the slightest shake of his head at that one.  loving kevin comes as easy as breathing.

“thank you for showing me how to accept myself, and showing me what it’s like to find peace, to know what it’s like to feel wanted and loved.  thank you for helping me to better myself as a man and a partner.  you make me a better person in every single way, and i promise to put it all to use and give back every single day of our lives.  i promise to love you through every hardship, to love you for who you are and who you are yet to become.  i promise to support and help you in every new adventure, and to always be at your side.  i promise to be patient and loyal.  i promise to remember to show you every day how deeply i care for you.  i promise to share my whole heart with you, to love you fiercely— for the rest of my life.  as long as you’ll have me.”

dalton blinks away tears, and after taking a moment, he accepts the microphone.  "kev,” he whispers, and takes a breath.  kevin knows he has his written down, but he doesn’t take it out.  he doesn’t need it.  “i used to think that i just got lucky that some random hot kid asked me for help with his homework.”  kevin grins.

“but i’ve realized now that the universe put you in front of me for a reason.  you have filled my life with happiness and have given me a sense of peace that i’ve never known.  you are my best friend, my biggest supporter, and the best co-pilot in life that i could’ve ever wished for.”  he smiles.  “today marks the start to the rest of our lives, whether we’re ready or not.  i will not take our time together for granted. and because words can’t do it, i promise to show you, for the rest of my life, how much i love you.  i promise to encourage you to follow your dreams.  to support you through any of life’s obstacles.  i promise to make you laugh when you’re taking yourself too seriously.  i promise to hold your hand through the good and the bad, to keep you afloat when you feel you’re drowning.  i promise to share the weight on your shoulders like it’s my own.”

a tear drops from kevin’s eye, and dalton reaches to gently wipe it with his thumb before grabbing his hand.  “i promise to never stop making up my own lyrics to songs i don’t know. although, i know you wish i would.  i promise to look back on our lives when we’re old and gray and have no regrets.  i promise, from this day forward, kevin day, that you will never walk alone.”  he lowers the microphone, whispering.  “as long as you’ll have me.”

it’s a very emotional ceremony, that’s for sure, but they’re grinning by the time the rings go on, and dalton barely holds back from jumping kevin before he can say, “you may now kiss.”

kevin has his arms around dalton’s waist and dalton’s hands on his cheek and the back of his neck, and they’re both smiling into the kiss less than two seconds in.  but kevin doesn’t care.  dalton’s laugh is the best thing he’s ever heard and he relishes in it as he crushes him in a hug before tearing back down the aisle.

their first dance is to “your song” by elton john.  is it probably overused?  sure, but kevin isn’t into music enough to know or care about that.  it’s the song that

it’s always been dalton’s go to song to sing in the car, and whenever he does he tends to just kind of grab onto kevin’s hand while he sings.  he’s no harry styles but he can hold a tune just fine.

it then turned into a song kevin listened to on bus or plane rides, and when he entered the pros dalton started sending him voice memos on text of him singing like two lines from the song before his every flight.

kevin also played it in the car back to the cabin after he proposed.

it’s their song.

dalton pulls kevin to him for the first dance, with one hand holding kevin’s and the other pressed against the small of his back.  and dalton’s singing along just loud enough for kevin to hear.  it makes him smile at his dork of a husband, and halfway through the song kevin lays his head on dalton’s shoulder and slides his arms around his neck.  he closes his eyes and ever so quietly sings along.  

dalton kisses the side of his head and wraps his arms around kevin’s waist.

when the song is coming to an end, dalton kisses kevin and smiles as he sings the last lines to him.  “how wonderful life is while you’re in the world”

kevin smiles.  “sweetheart,” he whispers.

but then the song ends, and kevin leans back against their table as dalton takes the floor with anne for the mother son dance.  he sends a thought up to kayleigh.

“i’m incredibly proud of you.”  it’s abby at his side, sliding her arm around his waist.  she kisses his cheek.  “i know you know this already, that you foxes are family to us.  but... you have always been like a son to me.  and you always will, even if not by blood.”

kevin is looking at his feet, but eventually he meets her gaze.  “you’re the closest thing i’ve ever had to a mother.”  he squeezes her hand, and, “do you want to do the dance with me?”  he doesn’t know how he hadn’t thought of it before.

abby’s a little teary, but nods.

dan rests her head on wymack’s shoulder.  “he’s done good.”

wymack nods.  he doesn’t respond, because he’s got… something… stuck in his throat.  not emotions, definitely not emotions.

kevin smears cake all over dalton’s lips when they cut the cake, and in return he presses a messy kiss to his cheek.  it’s sickenly sweet.  the whole thing is, especially compared to the kevin day that some people know, and the one they see on television.

i can’t think of other things i may have missed, but please please let me know if there is anything else you guys want more insight on, or prompts regarding these!

oh yeah, kevin throws one of the bridesmaids little bouquets as a joke.

and carmen catches it.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Your Saviour ~ Yin Zhen x Reader

"Mum, I hate her! Scold her! Punish her!" the little prince tugged on his mum's sleeve, crying and complaining about the older girl that kept teasing him. "My dear, try to be understanding. Being a prince means you will have a lot to learn, and she's merely trying to make you learn, in a more practical way. Try not to hold it against her." she smiled warmly at him, hugging and stroking his hair as a way to pacify him. "But she's so mean to me, it's not fair! And she keeps beating me at archery and sword fight! And she always tricks me, calls me names and throws plums at me from the top of the tree!" the poor, teary-eyed boy tried to gain more pity from the only person who ever cared for him properly. "Maybe she likes you and she wants to see you succeed and become a better version of yourself. How do you think she will behave once you finally manage to beat her at something she's unbeatable at?" his mother asked, which made the prince stop his sobbing and look up at her with a confused expression. "She'll get angry, won't she? Doesn't everyone hate losing?" his voice was small and soft. "Perhaps it won't be an actual loss for her, but a victory." his mother, as wise as always, knew the girl and how witty and clever she was, so of course, she knew that having her around her son will prove to be beneficial to him in the long run. "I don't understand, mum..." he pouted, tugging on her sleeve once again, with a dejected expression. "Let's play a little game, my darling. Come to me once you decipher the riddle I just told you, and I'm sure you will be satisfied with your reward." his mother let out an amused hum, as the boy perked up, his eyes sparkling when he heard of a potential reward.  "Oh...Okay! I will do my best!" 

 Days passed, and no matter how hard he tried, Yin Zhen couldn't defeat Y/N at anything, be it archery, swordfight, poetry, literature, musical instruments, martial arts, swimming, running, tree climbing... It was as if she was an unbeatable Goddess, far above him, and the fact that she'd hang out mostly with the 1st prince and the 3rd prince didn't help it either.

It was a vicious cycle - He'd study and practice, he'd challenge her, she'd defeat him effortlessly, she'd taunt him, she'd go back to hanging out with someone else, and he'd grovel in self-hatred that he keeps being defeated by a girl. With each day, he'd grow more and more angry, the darkness covering his heart freezing over with a blinding jealousy. And what was worse is that she had everyone's favour! Why is she so special? She's not even a princess, just some noble girl whose father betrayed the Emperor and her mother died of an illness! All his brothers fawn around her! The Empress Dowager treats her as if she is her own precious granddaughter, and even more - His father, The Emperor, truly favours her intelligence and shrewdness! That's preposterous!

"I hate you, you evil witch! You're using magic! There's no way you can actually beat me at everything!" Yin Zhen threw his sword to the ground, looking up at the girl who towered over him with a few inches. "Would such a completely illogical explanation satisfy you after these pitiful loses? If yes, then sure, claim whatever you will." she shrugged, not sketching any expression on her face. "Come on, Y/N, give him a break. He's young, he'll learn someday. He's barely 8 years old." the 1st prince, despite the teasing tone and smile on his face, tried to take the girl out of there, so his little brother would calm down. "Would you have me cut him some slack? Yin Zhen, do you truly want me to go easy on you? To let you win? Sure, if that's what your royal highness would have, that is what I shall do. However, would there be any ounce of satisfaction in your heart, knowing you were LET to win, but didn't deserve it? Think it over and answer me that next time you decide to challenge me." with those words, something in his mind seemed to click, and he stopped challenging the girl altogether, focusing more of training himself, and more, his mind and heart.

He WAS strong and intelligent, but the barrier his ego and arrogance created was the reason he stagnated so badly. He finally understood, at least a little bit, what his mother and Y/N were trying to teach him, so through meditation and self-healing, he became the cool and collected 4th prince that everyone knows now. It was obvious that, with time, the short and frail 8 year old would turn out to become a tall and strong prince with the noble aura that he was supposed to have all this time. 

When he finally felt ready and confident in himself and his abilities, he sought out the girl once again, after ignoring and avoiding her, and he found her on the ground at the base of a plum tree, playing the zither, by the lotus pond, with a friend or a maid, and it was needless to say, shock was obvious in both of their eyes once their gazes met for the first time in ages, realising how much they changed it time.

She was gorgeous beyond imagination, her expression was demure and inspired trust, gentleness and kindness, the aura around her was vibing with confidence and nobleness, and her eyes were gleaming with brilliance and wit.  And yes...There was something off...Behind that wall of confidence and politeness, a little bit of melancholy was seeping, and only he could see it. Curiosity started brewing in his heart, and the wish to solve mysteries started bubbling inside him, and he wanted to grab her and make her spill all her secrets...But he knew nothing in life was that easy. 

  "Hello, Yin Zhen. We haven't seen each other in a while, have we? Since your older brother and mother were still alive, that is. Lovely days the past held, wouldn't you say?" it was difficult for the prince not to smirk in satisfaction, as now he could properly appreciate the cheekiness and boldness of her words and voice. "Yes, I would say it has been quite a while, My Lady. Enough for me to open my eyes and see the world as it is. I would have you to thank for that." what was this humbleness he was displaying, the girl wondered, as she raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Then, are you here to challenge me again? What would it be this time? I see no sword, no bow, no instrument, no riddle book in your possession...Could it be running you want to challenge me at?" she spoke nonchalantly, returning to strum her zither. "My Lady, that is no way to speak to the 4th prince!" her friend gasped in shock and horror, earnings mixed reactions from the two. "I shall speak to Yin Zhen in any way I please. He has yet to earn my respect. Besides...You should see the way I speak to Yin Zhi or the 14th prince. You could say I am being generous with this one." she hummed in amusement, as a trail of relatively new palace maids were eyeing the prince, giggling and gossiping. "I wonder how many times has he threatened to kill you so far." Yin Zhen shot right back at her, knowing very well how his elder brother could be. "I lost count after five thousand." she raised the sleeve of her dress to hide the amused and teasing smirk she had on her face. "Funny how a fatty like you could run away from him so many times." he teased her, wanting to reciprocate the taunting she'd do to him ages ago, but by the stiff reaction of her, and the loud giggles from the maids, it was obvious he was heard by unneeded ears. "You still haven't bested me in anything yet, Prince...Especially not intelligence, considering how obvious it is that you speak ill of those who care about you in front of the jackals and hyenas of the palace. Next time you decide to approach me, think before you act. It will spare the both of us enough troubles." the girl threw her zither in her friend's lap, before leaping to her feet and pulling him down by the neck of his outfit, until their faces were barely inches away. 

And then she left. 

And he stopped seeing her, once again, for quite a while... Until he went to drink some wine in the garden, and he spotted her walking by the pond, dangerously close to the water. Not that he feared for her life, she was a great swimmer, and yet...Her complexion seemed much paler than usual, and her movements looked lethargic. 

The gossips of the maid, calling her tons of names, seemed to plague his mind, as he realised back then that he was the one who ignited the fuel and gave them the 'right' to speak garbage of her. 

He was lost in his own world, thinking over about what he did and his mistakes, but he was brought back to reality when a splash was heard, and some loud gasps of horror, and that’s when he realised the girl fell in the pond...And she wasn’t swimming back to the surface.

What was going on with her? Did she...Faint?

There was no time to think, as he slammed the cup on the table and rushed to the pond, jumping in to rescue her. His theory was correct, seeing as she was unconscious, so he started pushing on her chest, just as she did 12 years ago, when he fell in the lake and she saved him.

And then, he gave her the kiss of life, and as the miracle dictated, she jolted into a sitting position, coughing the water out of her lungs violently, before collapsing back in his arms. Yin Zhen hated to admit, especially after this near-death experience of hers, but seeing her being so soft, sleeping peacefully in his arms, was oddly fascinating, and his heart seemed to warm up, for some unknown reasons, even to him.  He hated that his mother died and he couldn’t ask her all the things he wanted to tell her, nor could he tell her the answer to the riddle that took him so long to understand, and yet, he was sure she’d be happy knowing that he matured and became the man he is now, no longer the whiny child from before.

He picked her up bridal style and brought her to her home, where her maid, whose name was Shi Lian, as she said, and he let her change in dry clothes and put her in bed, while he took off most of his clothes to be put out in the sun to dry, while he warmed up in front of the fireplace, waiting for the girl to wake up, while the maid was preparing chamomile tea and some snacks.

“Thank you for saving My Lady, Your Highness.” Shi Lian thanked the prince as she put the tray of tea and cakes on the table next to him. “She fainted and fell in the pond. She looks weak, what happened to her?” he asked in a serious voice. “Uhm...I-I’m not sure I’m supposed to say this...However...I worry for My Lady’s health and her...Predisposition of having incredibly unhealthy coping mechanisms and...She started eating less and less every day...I-I don’t know why, it happened so sudden...And she buried herself in more work than usual...Her being a Physician and all, I’d normally understand her work...But under these circumstances...” Shi Lian’s voice was sympathetic and worried, which made him immediately realise that it was his words that triggered it, along with the mockery of all the new palace ladies...He knew very well how gossips and rumours spread faster than the plague. “You’re...Not supposed to...Tell on me like that...” a weak voice murmured from the corner of the room, which indicated Y/N awakening. “My Lady, you woke up! Thank goodness you’re alright! The prince told me what happened...I was so worried for you!” the maid immediately rushed to her lady’s side, helping her get in a sitting position. “Your worries are misplaced with me...However, I must thank you, regardless. I appreciate your concerns for me.” Y/N sighed, looking down at her lap. “Oh, I made tea, and your favourite osmanthus cakes! Please, have some!” she was going to rush to give her the tray, only to be stopped by the lady. “Can you...Go for a walk? I’m fine, I can get up on my own.” Y/N nudged her with her words to get out, wanting to have a word with the princeling. “B-But, I-...Oh...! Yes, of course, I did have some errands to do! Please, take care, My Lady!” she bowed quickly in front of her and the prince, before leaving. “What a thoughtful girl...Always taking care for me, even when I don’t deserve it. She’s quite a catch, don’t you think? I bet you’d want her to be your maid.” the girl held a soft smile on her face, taking a sip of the hot tea. “You silly girl...You’re already skin and bones, and yet, you retort to starvation to stop the gossips from those low-lives. How much more foolish can you get?” his voice was serious, yet held sympathy concern, if you knew where to search for it. “To think you’d have enough sympathy in you to save someone you seemingly hate. I commend you, you truly grew up to be a fine man. Your mother would be very proud of you.” her expression, once again, held melancholy and nostalgia, and he was finally beginning to understand. “I don’t hate you. I never did. I was merely envious of your abilities.” he explained in a softer voice, making her chuckle. “Your mother told me how you’d go to whine to her how much you hate me. But hey, I’m glad that’s not the case anymore. I owe you mother a lot...So in turn, I owed you...But with time, I grew to see it in a different light, and I didn’t want to help you out of obligation, but simply because I wanted to see you grow. I hope I was able to help, in some way, despite my...Brutal teachings.” she hummed in amusement, eating one of the cakes. “I figured that out...It took a while, but I did. Mother hinted towards some things and told me to give you a chance and try to understand you. Once I stopped trying to win all the time, I realised that, instead of being competitive and win against others, I should first learn how to become the best version of myself. And once I did...I felt relieved. I suppose I should thank you for that.” he explained himself, and his words warmed her heart with happiness. “The only thanks is seeing you the way you are now. It wasn’t easy having to live with the reputation of being branded the traitor’s daughter, and then your mother dying so suddenly...The first prince died as well...Your mother too...So I let work and study engulf me completely, hoping that I could redeem myself by saving others, when I couldn’t save those I cared about. Pitiful, don’t you think?” she chuckled in self-deprecation, which made the prince turn to look at her with a frown on his face, before flicking her forehead hard enough to make the spot red. “G’ahh...That hurt...I guess you’re going to return the bullying that I did to you for so many years?” she eeped, more from the shock than the pain, lifting her hand to cover her forehead. “I believe you said you’re proud of the man I’ve become. What kind of man would I be if I were to actually bully you? Merely teasing you is enough to satisfy me.” he hummed in amusement, a side smirk making its way on his face as he got up, gingerly grasping her wrist, taking it away from her forehead. “Besides...I wouldn’t want to make you run away from me again.” he uttered as he caressed her face with one hand, bending down to kiss her forehead, where he previously flicked her. “You’re being surprisingly tender today, Yin Zhen. I must say, I quite like this side of you.” she put her hand over his, leaning in to his touch, her gentle expression resembling that of a spoiled kitten. “You’re not that different yourself, Y/N.”

It was then that Yin Zhen confessed his interesting in courting her, as despite not having a high rank, his heart belonged to her, and her alone, and since she knew her mind and heart have always been wandering to him, she accepted. Their dynamic was as unlikely as always, and sometimes, people thought they hated each other. The little firecracker that Y/N was resembled the calm before the storm, and she always did what she wanted, no matter what, which always seemed to be endearing for the prince who clearly condoned her erratic behaviour, yet looked out for her from afar, fearing her well-being. The palace was both the safest and the most dangerous place on the planet.

One day, as she went for a walk with her maid, she noticed up in the square pavilion, the Emperor, the Empress and the 4th and 6th princes, so clearly, at least out of obligation and respect, she had to go and pay her respects to them.

Walking up to them, she kneels down in greeting, hoping she wouldn’t have to stay for too long.

“My Lady! Please, take a seat. I must say, I thank you for curing my son of the illness that seemed to knock him down so badly.” the Empress extended her hand, motioning for the girl to sit down. Analysing the situation, she realised the Emperor looked angry, while the princes were solemn, sitting formally...And she hoped she’ll be quickly dismissed, as she walked right in the middle of something very important. “Last night, the Imperial Astrologers noticed a fluctuation in the stars - A possible bad omen. The Emperor is most concerned. Perhaps you have an idea that might help, considering your different thinking seems to help out the Palace all the time.” she continued, which made the girl smack herself on the face, mentally. “I...Am not as knowledgeable in astrology as I am in healing, so my opinion may not be exactly helpful...However, the stars have their own way of arranging...Perhaps praying would help...?” she tried to choose her words carefully, hating to talk when she had no idea about the subject in cause was. “Your Majesty, her idea may not be wrong. We could send someone to pray at Mount Tianchi? Your father built an observatory on Mount Tianchi for burning incense. He said his prayers were always answered on the mountain. It’s been over ten years since the court sent a delegation to pray on the mountain. Perhaps it is time for another one?” Yin Zhen explained his thoughts, which impressed the girl for his quick thinking and reasoning. “It is true, I have overlooked this ritual. But whom should we send?” the Emperor agreed, pondering as he stroked his beard. “Your Majesty, allow me to go on your behalf!” the 6th prince jumped in faster than anyone could blink. “It is a long way and you haven’t completed the tasks already assigned to you. Do you have time to go to Mount Tianchi?” Yin Zhen asked with concern for the mission that may be ruined by his over-zealous brother. “The 4th prince is right. The Emperor knows you want to help, but your current duties are far more pressing. You cannot just abandon them.” the Empress explains to her son why he couldn’t go, which made the 4th prince stand up and kneel in front of the Emperor. “Your Majesty, allow me to pray on Mount Tianchi for the people and the kingdom.” his statement made the Emperor smile at his son. “Very well! Go on my behalf and pray! Pray for my people!” the Emperor approved of his son’s suggestion. “If I may, I think that My Lady should accompany me. You see, Your Majesty, we have seen times and times she enjoys rare good fortune, and she is an incredibly skilled physician, should anything happen. I believe she could be our lucky charm.” Yin Zhen explained, which made the girl smile, knowing very well how beautiful the place is and how she wanted to visit it with him. “Hmm, yes, you make a good point, 4th prince. This isn’t a holiday, you know! This is a very serious mission and everything must be done correctly...I command you to pray beside the Prince for the well being of my subjects.” not the kind of responsibilities that she likes to have, but not much she can complain about. “Thank you, Your Majesty. I shall not fail you.” she kneeled in front of the Emperor, thanking him for his trust, and the next day, at the earliest hour, they were ready to go.

She brought light clothes with her, and wearing noble male clothing, as she would ride besides the princes, she jumped on her black horse and rode next to him.

“You look splendid, as always, Yin Zhen. Also, should I thank you for suggesting I come with you? Because that was one of the best things you’ve said in a long time.” she smiled tenderly at him, which he reciprocated with gratitude expressed in his eyes, but barely on his face. “I did promise I’d take you to see beautiful places, didn’t I? I am a man of my words.” he smirked slightly, looking ahead of us. “Hm...? I didn’t know Yin Zhi would come too. The 7th and 11th princes too? That’s a surprise...Ah, look at them, they look terrible...They don’t want to be here, do they?” she asks in a softer voice, hoping they wouldn’t hear. “The Emperor places great importance on this venture. We cannot fail.” his words seemed awfully enigmatic, which seemed to bubble anxiety into her heart. “Is...Something the matter...?” she whispered, leaning over to him, only for him to reach out his hand and pet her hair briefly. “Don’t worry over nothing. And even if something happens, I will protect you.” his confident smile made her raise her eyebrow questioningly, yet she bit her tongue and said nothing else, focusing on enjoying the ride.

The road was very difficult to pass on, especially the more rugged parts of the mountain, and unfortunately, while Y/N was perfectly fine, being used to riding, the carriage bumping constantly made her maid’s stomach upset, and in turn, had her jump out every so often to vomit.

“Y/N, the road gets worse up ahead. You know very well what I mean, don’t you?” Yin Zhi addresses the Lady he’s friends with, watching her jump off her horse to help her maid out. “...Yes, I understand the situation. We must arrive at a specific time, and there must be no delays. I’m sorry, Shi Lian. I wanted to see that beautiful place with you as well...But perhaps on another time, when we won’t be pressed by time. Will you be okay returning to the capital, waiting for me?” she strokes her maid’s hair gently, hoping she will be feeling better. “As you say, my Lady. I’ll wait for you in the capital. Please take good care of yourself.” Shi Lian’s words were brave and held much love for her Lady. “Thank you, dear, but you won’t have to worry about me. There are more guards here than the 6th prince can count.” Y/N giggled as she ruthlessly shamed the lecherous prince. “M-My Lady!” Shi Lian gasped, her eyes widening in shock at her words. “...She’s not wrong.” Yin Zhi smirked in amusement, tilting his head to urge her to return to her horse. “If you are so amused by my words, perhaps you could organise a reliable person to escort Shi Lian back to the capital?” she asked, a wide, sarcastic smile on her face. “Bring her this way.” his eyes sparkled with amusement as he turned around, guiding us to another carriage that will bring her back to the capital. After saying her farewells, she turned to go back to her horse, only to get disturbed by the 7th prince, whose annoying smirk wouldn’t get wiped off his face. “Most excellent. You gave that cold fish brother of mine the pleasure of helping someone.” he said in a sly manner. “My, you wouldn’t happen to be...Jealous, would you, 7th Prince?” Y/N tilted her head in a mocking manner. “You are much more enjoyable when sleepy, you know?” she chuckled, turning back to go to her horse, but before she knew it, her paramour was by her side, glaring at his younger brother. “Brother, what are you doing?” Yin Zhen asked, his eyes sharply scanning him. “I just wanted another word with the Lady. What are you worried about?” the 7th Prince mocked his elder brother with amusement. “I’m not worried. I just came over to remind you, the ceremony is going to be held soon. We cannot delay any further.” the 4th Prince warned his brother, who seemed aggravated by him. “You think I don’t know that?! I still want a word with the Lady...My Lady, you are very capable. A number of my brothers are quite enamoured with you.” he explainde, as if she was a nuisance, yet also, enjoyed taunting her...Yet he always failed. “Too bad I’m already being courted by someone, don’t you think? Although, I don’t think it should bother you, should it? I believe you may or may not despise me, for some odd reason I’m not aware of.” she shrugged, ignoring his protests as she followed her beloved and got on her horse, finally making it to the Mount, where it’s already summer.

The ceremony lasted for three days and three nights, and by the end of it, she had to regard how meticulously perfect everything was done by the 4th Prince, as she admired him working, and seeing that he was really the only prince doing anything, she got up and started helping him out as best as she could, which meant she could chat a bit about random things with said man.

Out of nowhere, droplets of rain started falling from the sky, which may or may not be an indicator that the omens were changing.

“Well, what do you think? I heard in some cultured rain was an indicator of good fortune.” Y/N plays on, carrying a smaller crate. “Superstitious. For the sake of conversation, you say a lot of weird things.” he scoffed, taking the crate from her hand and putting it on top of the one he was carrying. “And likewise, you do a lot of weird things...Like suggesting to come pray on this mountain and do a ritual. Don’t be a hypocrite with me, you know I always turn it on you.” she chuckled, helping him put down the crates in their rightful places. “Of course I know. That’s why I tease you.” in turn, he playfully tapped her forehead, chuckling at her tender expression. “Don’t make that face when others are around. It makes me want to kiss you. Who knows what others might think or do if they see you.” he looked around, scanning to see if anyone was watching, before stealing a quick kiss. “If you don’t want others to see, don’t be so sweet with me...Or, perhaps, choose the other approach and let’s go for a ride through the forest with me?” the Lady hooked her arm to his, and of course, he couldn’t turn down her suggestion.

If there was something she loved more than the satisfaction of saving someone’s life or learning something knew, was the feeling of freedom as they rode together, only the two of them, all their worries disappearing completely, at least for the moment. However, before they realised it, they got in the city as soon as the rain started pouring down hard, which forced them to dismount and seek shelter under some eaves, his cape draped over her head to make sure she wasn’t being as drenched as him, holding her close to his chest to keep her warm.

“Wouldn’t you like it if we spent out life like this? Away from the capital, away from the Emperor and so many rules...And we can just be free and do as we please.” she spoke out her heart’s desire without even realising. “As long as you’re by my side, I don’t really care what we do. Although...What you say wouldn’t be bad.” he declared, and thankfully, the rain soon stopped, so they were able to go back.

By the time they got back to the party, dusk started falling, and as soon as they started strolling along the covered walkway, so they returned to their rooms, as the rain started falling again.  As they changed in comfortable clothes, in their own, separate rooms, the 4th Prince told the Lady he was going to be out, with his brothers, for some tree in the Plumflower Garden behind the observatory.

She went to sit out on the porch, reading a book as she let the rain and wind relax her, thinking of the next day and the journey back home. The storm, however, didn’t stop throughout the night, and because of loud it was, Y/N couldn’t fall asleep, so instead, she smiled, feeling content with the beautiful sound of the rain.

Y/N heard a soft knock on the door, and the handmaid, Yun Mo, walks inside and she speaks softly, asking if she needs anything. Y/N asked the beautiful girl if the princes are still outside, and as she heard, they were outside, drinking, very much drunk.

“Ahh, Yin Zhen said they’d be drinking tea. I should see this as a new code I must learn. Very well, I’ll go to them and see if they’re okay. Could you please prepare some soup for their hangover?” Y/N asked, putting on a coat over her nightgown. “Yes, of course, My Lady. Please, excuse me.” she bows gracefully, leaving the place, only for Y/N see the faint light of a lantern. “Hello? Who’s there?” Y/N frowned, only hearing the rain hit the ground, holding tightly the dagger that Yin Zhen gifted her some time ago.

She slowly walked to the wall beside the door, extending her hand and pushing the door open. Peering outside, she notices pools of spilled blood that belonged to the lifeless guards...Killed by the figure in black holding a knife in his hand. Keeping her composure, she snuck behind him and thrust the blade in his neck, holding one hand to his mouth so he won’t alert his allies, and stole his sword.

However, other assassin saw her and yelled out for his peers, which made her bolt for the side door, as fast as she could.

“RUN MY LADY!” the soft voice of the handmaid echoed throughout the place as she tried to delay the assassins. “HELP! ANYONE! IS ANYONE HERE?!” Y/N yelled out, running until her legs couldn’t hold her anymore, and she stopped to gain her breath, only to see a pile of dead guards bleeding onto the earth, the sickly, metallic smell of fresh blood assaulting her senses.

As the assassin caught up to her, she took out the sword from the scabbard and parried all his hits, only to deliver the finishing blow. However, that wasn’t the end, as three more started appearing. She killed another, and ready to strike the other, she heard the cry of someone behind her. Quickly dodging a strike, she looked back to see what happened to the 3rd assailant, only to see her beloved Yin Zhen with a sword in his hand, his eyes cold and clear, clearly, no sign of alcohol intoxication.

“Yin Zhen! Thank goodness you’re okay! The maid said you were drunk and I got worried...But seems it’s not the case. What IS going on?!” she asked, struggling to breathe properly as she tried to fight back her fear. “I don’t know yet, but we have to go.” he spoke quickly before he picked her around the waist, leaping deftly onto the roof, like superhuman. “Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone hurt you. I promise.” he muttered, seeing as other assassins started chasing them. “Is everyone dead...?” she whispered, fearing the answer. “My men have cornered some of the assassins.” he explained, looking left and right to spot his enemies’ moves. “You...Came back...To save me...?” her eyes widened in shock hearing that he was risking his life for her. “I promised you I’d protect you at all cost, didn’t I?” his confident smile seemed to bring courage into her heart. “There’s a small side door in the courtyard up ahead. It leads into the forest...But we must lose them first.” she explained her strategy, and he seemed to agree, as he turned around, picked her up properly and sprung in the other direction. “Did you just...?!” she gasped, realising he was drawing the assassins off in the opposite direction so she could come back and escape out of the kitchen. The darkness concealed their movements, and sooner than later, the assailants lost their track, and they managed to return safely to the kitchen, and through the other side of the door, into the forest. “Yes, I did. Are you hurt?” he asked, concern obvious in his voice. “No...I’m okay. Thanks to you...And you seem okay...Ah, what about the others?” she gasped, realising that it wasn’t only them around. “It’s fine. I already sent people to the local garrison, reinforcements should get here any second. We just need to wait.” just as he said that, an arrow pierced the air, slamming barely a few inches from her face, making her squeal in fright. “No good, no good, no good!” she whimpered, only able to stare at the arrow in front of her, her knees weakening, barely able to stand up. “You were supposed to be our lucky charm, darling.” Yin Zhen tried to joke to ease up the tension, but the arrows kept whistling above their heads and the strain of carrying someone was taking a toll on his body and strength. “Put me down, Yin Zhen! You can’t go on for much longer! ...You go ahead, I’ll keep them at bay until reinforcements arrive. You are the Prince, if anything happens to you, there will be hell at the Palace. You’re more important than I am.” she wiggled in his grasp, which only annoyed him. “Don’t be stupid. But you’re right, we’re not getting anywhere. I’ll go deal with them, and you stay here. Don’t complain, there’s no way I’m leaving you behind.” he puts her down gently, drawing his sword and swiping an incoming arrow out of the air, charging into the tree after the hidden arrow. “You’re impossible...” she muttered, taking out her sword and trying to keep back the other assassins that were trying to catch up with him. “Y/N, RUN! NOW!” Yin Zhen never screamed...It meant business, so she didn’t complain, even though she saw how many assassins caught up to them. “BETTER STAY ALIVE!” she yelled back, bolting to find the reinforcements.

She started running through the forest, until suddenly, she got roughly pulled back by the hair, and she fell to the ground with a squeal. Looking up, she saw one of the assassins, his blade in his other hand, so she quickly drew her dagger, cutting her hair to release herself, then dug it deep into his neck.

“My Lady!” she heard a familiar voice, and she realised it was Minister Fan Wencheng, the person Yin Zhen must have sent to get help. “Yin Zhen is that way, he needs help! Fast, go!” she yelled sharply at the army behind the minister, and thankfully, the large contingent of armed men seemed to reassure her. “Save the Prince!” the minister “Thank goodness you arrived when you did!” she sighed, falling to her knees, hearing the enemies retreat. However, the last arrow sent wasn’t heard by her, despite going in her direction... “To think you’d be careless at the very end. Be more mindful, my brother would go crazy if he saw you dead.” another familiar voice scolded her playfully as he deflected the arrow with his sword. “Thankfully, you’re always there to save the day, Yin Zhi.” Y/N chuckled weakly, turning around to look at him with a relieved expression painted on her face. “Are you hurt?” he asked, crouching and helping her stand up. “No...No, I’m fine, don’t worry about me, worry about your brother.” she grasped his hand, holding it tightly, the anxiety of not seeing Yin Zhen getting the better of her. “He’s fine, I’m sure of that. He’s too stubborn to die. Come one, I’ll have someone escort you to your room.” he petted her hair, but she only frowned, refusing. “Thank you, but I can’t leave this place without seeing him. I’ll wait.” and so she does, and as soon as she sees the man dresses in gold, she rips herself from his brother’s hold and runs towards him, throwing her arms around him. “That’s the kind of greeting I like to see.” he chuckled, stroking her hair reassuringly. “You...You...Honestly...Let’s go back. I have to treat your wounds.” she stopped herself from saying something harsh. “You can curse me all you want when we get back. I know you’re restraining yourself.” he hummed in amusement, only feel her form weaken in his hands, and he realised he fainted from a running fever. “...Stop worrying about others and worry about yourself too, sometimes.” he shook his head, picking her up and walking towards her room, by the physician’s place. “Go get checked by the physician, I’ll look after her. You don’t want her to see the cuts on your face, do you?” Yin Zhi smirked at his younger brother, getting water and a towel to put on her forehead, to get her fever down. “Thank you, brother.” he nodded, leaving for the physician’s room, seeing his other two brothers getting treated.

Not long passed until the girl woke up once again, feeling better, despite the weakness of her body and the burning fever. As she tried to get up and open her eyes, a pair of gentle arms help her, giving her a glass of water.

“...Is there...Really no one else...?” she asked, realising that, if he was here, her maid truly sacrificed herself to save her. “...Unfortunately.” he nodded reluctantly, making the girl close her eyes, hanging her head. “That’s insane...But...I’m relieved. I kept thinking that...It could have been Shi Lian in her place, and dread overwhelms my heart. I knew what happened...But I didn’t want to admit to myself that such a kind-hearted, selfless woman could stop living, just like that...And I thank her upset stomach for driving her away from this place.” Y/N raked her fingers through the length of her hair, slightly surprised at the fact that it wasn’t as long as before, and then she recalled the events of last night properly. “I understand, your feelings are complicated. That’s how emotions usually are, unfortunately. That’s why I tend to stray away from them. You used to as well...But not anymore.” he pointed out, sighing. “What about the other princes?” she asked again. “They’re both wounded. All three of my brothers are now in the physician’s room.” hearing that, she let herself fall down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. “Thank goodness...I feared the worst. But at least they’re alive. They may not be agreeable, but if they were to die...I don’t want to imagine.” she dragged her hands down her face, groaning at the horrible things that happened, before an eunuch ran into the room, desperate. “3rd Prince! The 7th Prince is threatening to kill the doctor! You’re the only one who can stop him!” he explained vigorously, as the 3rd prince held a solemn expression. “Number 11 will recover from his wounds, but 7 may never walk again.” as soon as she heard that, she jolted out of the bed, running to the physician’s room, scanning all the three princes and their conditions, the light of the candles being the only way to illuminate the room. “Let me see.” she walked by the 7th prince’s bed, and he only scoffed, taking off the blanked from his legs for her to examine. “I see...The situation isn’t great...I heard the physician saying you may not walk again.” she muttered, only to feel a strong hand gripping her throat. “What would you know?!” he growled at her, his eyes holding anger and sorrow. “I know you’re upset...I can’t do miracles, but I can promise I will do my best to save your legs. Will you trust me?” she asked, looking at the prince, who was gritting his teeth. “Whatever. I don’t have many options anyway.” he sighed, leaning back on the bed. “If you’re not satisfied, there will be enough Imperial Physicians back at the capital.” she explained, realising he wasn’t looking at her anymore. “Fine.” he nodded simply. “I will go tend to the 4th and 11th princes’ wounds since they are easier to treat, and then...?! Hold up, what the hell are you doing here?! This plant is barely effective for stopping the bleeding...And you mixed Ginko seed for that? Ginko increases the risks of bleeding, you imbecile! ...What is it...? Ginseng root? You do realise he has a problem raising his legs, not his cock, don’t you?! And this...This is to relieve the pain from a woman’s blood moon! You know what? Do me a favour and get the hell out of here, before I kill you. No, actually, I need a lackey, stay here and do what I say.” Y/N went through all the plants and mixtures on the table like a hurricane, scaring the soul out of the poor physician, which only seemed to serve as entertainment for the rest of the princes. “Yell again, and you might kill the poor man with your threats. Not that you aren’t right, per say. However, instead of running around in your nightgown, still damp from the rain, I’d suggest you go change in something...More fitting.” Yin Zhi suddenly appeared into the room, putting his coat on her shoulder, snickering at her firecracker behaviour that usually appears when it comes to work. “Hmm...Yes, I suppose you’re right. I was so worried, I completely forgot how I was dressed. I’ll be back in a second.” she looked down at the light, short dress she was wearing, her cheeks flushing slightly from the revealing outfit, only to return, wearing Yin Zhen’s old breeches and shirt. “Are those my old clothes?” the 4th prince asked, barely able to stop himself from laughing. “Yes. Your mother sent them over to me a while ago. As you know very well, I stopped growing a while ago...And you didn’t. Practical clothes, I’m telling you.” she tried to ignore him, so she wouldn’t focus on the teasing, but on her work. “Then come over and treat my wounds.” he smirked, leaning back and taking off his coat, revealing the cuts on his chest. “Hmm...I see. You, go get me chamomile, I need to treat the inflammation and make sure the wounds don’t fester. Likewise, I need marigold ointment, horsetail...And milk of the poppy, a needle and threat to sew up wounds...Towels, warm water...What are you standing there for? Go on, do something! Chap, chap!” she clapped her hands to hurry the man as she took the hot chamomile tea, soaking a handkerchief and gently wiping Yin Zhen’s wounds. “Were the circumstances different, this would have been incredibly endearing.” he peered into her eyes with an amused smirk on his face. “Say that when we get home and you’re in perfect health, got it? I’m still mad at what you did.” she muttered, biting her lip. “Why is your hair shorter?” with a hand, he stroked the length of her hair. “...I realised this morning I had split ends. Cutting helps with faster hair regeneration, the same as trimming plants helps with growth.” she explained, almost as if she wanted to believe so herself. “And your hairstylist was one of the assassins. Tell them to give your money back, they did an awful, non-symmetrical job.” Yin Zhi mocked her, which only made her glare at him, taking out the sword sheathe and hitting him with it. “You’re the worst, Yin Zhi!” pushed him back on the chair, before turning back to treat the 4th Prince. “I thought this was a place of healing, not one of damage.” the man chuckled, only for the girl to scoff. “You’re unscratched, don’t bother talking. The only thing you’ll ever wound is your ego whenever you talk to me. Now, leave, I’m busy.” she waved her hand dismissively towards him, and he left, not without more thrown witty comebacks. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” Yin Zhen chuckled, kissing her forehead. “Tell me that at home, please. Right now, I’m incredibly worried about the Emperor’s reaction to this mess.” she sighed, finishing up her paramour, before turning to quickly fix up the 11th Prince. “What’s the worst that could happen, I wonder?” he asked enigmatically, making her shudder. “The end of the world, if he would so desire.” she murmured, getting up, and taking everything closer to the 7th Prince’s bed, observing the wounds and cleaning them, treating them, bandaging them and stitching up some of the more shallow ones.

She continued the treatment all day without fail or rest, only remembering to eat when given food on a plate, and then, they had to leave back to the capital. Y/N rode again besides Yin Zhen, the road back to the capital much more quiet than the one the other way back, both of them deep into their own thoughts to speak more than basic concerns.

When they arrived, as soon as Y/N spotted Shi Lian, she jumped off the horse and engulfed the maid into a tight hug, telling her how happy she is to see her, and making sure she doesn’t say a word, until they go back home, away from anyone’s ears.

Just as expected, the next day they were called at the Hall of Mental Cultivation as the Emperor slowly reads a memorial, while everyone kneels on the floor, not daring to speak until spoken to. Obviously, the news of the 7th Prince’s condition reached his ears, and now he’s dead set on finding a culprit, believing that one of the brothers must be the one. The silence was so deep that was feeling everyone with dread.

“What happened to my nice ceremony? Could it be that Heaven is displeased, and so seeks to punish me?” the Emperor hurled the memorial to the floor, as everyone waited for the raging storm to hit. “Your Majesty, the ceremony had already been completed. What happened afterwards was the act of a traitor, not Heaven’s doing. I failed to protect 7th Prince. I take responsibility for it.” Yin Zhen took the blame, which made the girl’s mind shriek. “It IS your responsibility! He is a cripple because of you!” the Emperor threw the memorial at his face, which hurt the girl more than it hurt him. “Your Majesty, the 7th Prince may still be curable! With the help of the Imperial Physicians and modern, western medicine, we may find a way to help him walk again! In the mean time, the culprit must be found. An attack on the princes is a direct attack on you!” Y/N tried to shift the Emperor’s rage from Yin Zhen to her, and it seemed to work, for he slowly turned his head towards her, his glowering eyes making her heart beat faster with fear, and for the first time in her life, all the honors she had bestowed by his grace seemed to disappear, as she seemed like nothing more than a stranger to him now. “They were wounded. You, however...You, as a revered physician, failed to help him and give me false hope. From now on, the role of Imperial Physician will be taken away from you. You are free of your duties. This has nothing to do with you anymore, you may withdraw.” the Emperor spoke coldly, making the girl drop her jaw to the floor in shock.

It took a few seconds to compose herself, as she felt as if the skies fell on her, crushing her completely, before bowing and rushing to the Prince’s room, going by his side, looking at him with a stern expression.

“Do you still trust me to get you better, Prince?” she asked, trying her hardest not to cry.  “If not you, then who else? Why ask?” he frowned, forcing himself in a sitting position. “The Emperor took away my rights to practice medicine, however, I promised you something, and even if it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to keep my promises.” she explained, rushing to arrange the myriads of ingredients she prepared. “You’re risking your life for a stupid promise you may not even be able to keep. Why?” he looked at her in shock and curiosity. “A few reasons. One, because I promised, and like Yin Zhen, I like to believe I’m a person of my word too. Secondly, because it will keep bugging me if I know I didn’t try everything I could to help you out. And thirdly...If the Emperor finds out I was able to help you walk again, I might get back my practicing rights, and he will stop being angry and blaming Yin Zhen.” she explained with a tired sigh, sitting on the side of the bed. “I know you hate me, but I don’t hate you.” she muttered, getting back to work  “You’re an idiot, you know that, right?” the 7th Prince looked at her with a dumbfound expression. “Go ahead and do whatever you want. I’ll make sure nobody tells a soul. It can’t get worse than not walking, anyway.” the usually grumpy prince gave her permission to work on his legs as she saw fit. “Thank you, Prince. I’ll do my best.” she nodded, long absorbed into her work. “...And I don’t hate you.” he murmured with a sigh, looking away. “Hmmm...? Is that so? If yes, then I thank you for clarifying.” she smiled softly at him. “I did tell you before, didn’t I? You’re different from most of the women in the Palace. They are other wretched and vile, or soft and quite, but neither have any personality or ambition, other than marrying, being well-off and having children to ensure their positions. It’s pitiful.” he sighed again, the usual grumpy expression on his face. “So...You were jealous on Yin Zhen, then?” she asked, not sparing him any glance yet. “Sort of, but not only. I remember when I was very young, you’d always be around the 1st Prince...And your friendship with the 3rd and 4th Princes continued nicely since then, even now. I wanted to have someone so reliable and interesting, like you by my side...A friend, you could say.” the Prince explained himself, which made the girl pat his head gently, giving him a smile. “If you want a friend, I can be one for you. However, let’s focus on getting you better first, shall we?” she encouraged him, and he seemed thankful. “...Thanks, Y/N. I won’t forget it.” day in and day out, she stood by his side, trying everything in her power to save him, only remembering to take care of herself when the Prince or her paramour would make sure she is taken care of.

However, after just over a week, the Emperor found her in the Prince’s room, still doing what a physician should, and he grew angry, ordering for her to be thrown into the Hard Labour Camp, and to be beaten as a punishment, until the 7th Prince protested against his father’s order said out of anger.

“Father, please don’t punish her! She wanted to help me. No physician was able to do as much progress as she did. Look, I can get out of the bed and stand by myself!” the prince explained quickly, rushing to get out of the bed, yet his legs were still wobbly as he was standing, and collapsed. “Prince, I told you, no fast moves. Take it easy, we have to properly prepare the muscles for effort.” she caught him, carefully helping him sit back on the bed. “See, Father? She knows what she’s doing. Please, don’t take her away, I don’t trust other physicians to take care of me.” the prince smiled reassuringly at his anxious father, who seemed to ease up a bit. “...I see. I may have too rash in my decisions before. You are correct, I have never seen a more dedicated healer, and I see that there is still hope of you being able to walk again. Very well, Y/N, you can have your position back. Please continue taking care of my son, my Lady.” the Emperor nodded at the girl before leaving the place. “...Hallelujah!” she let out a deep breath she had no idea she was holding before falling on the ground, relief soothing her soul. “You saved me. Thanks.” “You silly woman, you never know when to stop, do you?” Yin Zhen suddenly walked inside the room, scooping her up in his arms.  “I don’t...But do you?” she retorted automatically, almost as if she didn’t even realise. “It wouldn’t be fun if I did. Thanks, brothers, for defending this idiot. She constantly needs taking care of.” Yin Zhen chuckled, taunting his beloved, while his younger brother, despite his grumpy disposition, scoffed in amusement. “Do a better job at it, then. Now go already, I need to rest and you’re bothering me.” he shooed the both of them out of his house, and they could finally do something they wanted, no responsibility on either of their shoulders.

They walked together to the lake, laying down in the bed of flowers, under the wisteria tree, and holding hands, the prince heard the girl sigh in content, then tilted his head to look at her soft, relaxed visage. He admired her beauty for just a few more seconds before leaning down and panting a kiss on her lips. Instead of opening her eyes, she smiled and brought her arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him with more fire and lover, finally happy that their problems were over, at least for now.

“I’d want to say you are uncharacteristically bold today, but we both know that would be a lie.” he hummed in amusement, leaning on his elbow. “You can’t blame me. I freaked out after the Emperor’s punishment, but now we can sit back and relax...And I can properly spend time with you. I didn’t even have time to properly say how worried I was for you that night...I was worried out of my wits when you made me leave you.” she sighed, caressing his face, looking at him with an expression that showed mixed emotions. “I told you I would do anything to keep you safe. Thankfully, nothing too grave happened. I suppose all that trauma you instilled into me when training was worth something.” he teased her, which made her stare at him in disbelief, before chuckling at his silliness. “I-I didn’t traumatise you, come on!” she grinned, flicking his forehead, just as he’d do to her. “I did complain to my mother that you’re treating me horribly.” he smirked, which only made her dramatically sigh. “At least it was worth something!” she mused at him, which, in turn, made him kiss her forehead. “It was thanks to you that I was able to protect you. And it was thanks to you that I was able to answer my mother’s riddle and receive the reward for it.” he confessed, holding her hand and intertwining their fingers together. “What was the riddle? And the reward?” she asked, blinking in curiosity. “She asked how did I think you would react once I finally beat you in a challenge. At first, I thought you’d hate me, as I used to hate you...But then, I came to realise that you wanted only the best for me.” he explained his feelings from over 10 years ago. “Ah, yes, I remember. It hurt seeing you throw tantrums, but I knew you’d come to your senses sooner or later. I always had faith in your.” she smiled like a proud kitten. “I know now. Which comes to my reward...Which is your love and trust for me.” came Yin Zhen’s confession, which made the girl blush softly. “You’ll be right there. I have loved you for a long time. My younger self wouldn’t have believed this would be her future. I’m sure she’d be as happy as I am now.” she pulled him down to kiss him again and again and again, overthrilled to be able to spend quality time with him like that. “And I opened my eyes and heart, and here I am, pouring all my love to you and you alone.” he reciprocated the kisses with just as much fire and passion as her. “So...Care to tell me again how endearing you find this little firecracker~?” 

[gaiapaia]

Kermit and Friends: Drew Lane

Drew Lane is an American radio personality that currently hosts The Drew and Mike Show. Drew has been in radio for almost 40 years, working in Virginia, Phoenix, Charlotte, Boston, and finally Detroit, Michigan, where Drew has made his home the last 30 years covering Detroit sports, politics, and pop culture.

Despite Kermit and Friends airing during the middle of a Detroit Lions game, Drew kindly made his glorious KAF debut so he could discuss the interview Elisa had with Stuttering John Meledez last week.

Not only was Elisa’s interview with Stuttering John featured on Radar Online, but Elisa received heaps of praise from multiple shows regarding it, most notably from The Drew and Mike Show, which Elisa has guest appeared on many times to mostly talk about her former engagement to Andy Dick.

After the Stuttering John interview though, Drew learned that there’s a lot more to Elisa than who she dates... she’s actually quite talented at this podcasting thing. Drew still thinks she needs an engineer and better equipment, but in time those things will come!

But Drew was all smiles as he joined Elisa, happy to talk about his career, what a thin-skinned sleezeball Stuttering John is, Elisa’s current status with Andy, the time Elisa was asked out on a date by Donald Trump, Adam Carolla and his stance on the COVID-19 shots, among other topics.

It was a superb 45 minute interview. Elisa and Drew bounce off each other very well. Hopefully the KAF and TD&MS can continue to work together and merge their audiences. It can only lead to good things.

Kermit and Friends Wrap-Up Show host ‘Arf Arf Bark Bark’ James Tsai appeared during Elisa’s interview with Drew to share some grievances he has with how the KAF Discord fanclub is ran. He does not like how people aren’t frequently banned or silenced, and he feels Leaf King and Elisa are hurting Elisa’s stardom potential by letting KAF characters run amok both in the Discord and on the show itself.

James brought up the conviction of Mark Connors to make his point that it makes KAF look really bad to feature someone like that, which seemed a bit hypocritical since James welcomed Mark on his Wrap-Up show last week. Elisa believes the more controversial a person is, the better. And I tend to agree with her. Controversy creates cash and most importantly, entertainment. Entertainment = fun, and that is KAF’s main goal at the moment - to have fun.

I am sad to report that since yesterday’s episode, James has quit the Kermit and Friends Discord and all things related to KAF. He got in a tussle in the Discord last night with a friend of Elisa’s named Tammy, which made him very upset. Maybe someday he will come back but if not, James was fun while he lasted and I wish him the best going forward.

I do have some good news though... Kermit made an awesome new friend yesterday named DJ Jeff Duran!

Jeff Duran is a former child actor (worked on shows like The Wonder Years and Step by Step, two of my favorite shows when I was a kid) turned shock jock and stand-up comedian. You can check out his newest comedy album If You Can’t Dazzle ‘em With Brilliance by clicking here. 

Jeff appeared on the show fired up after listening to Elisa and Drew talk about Stuttering John so much. Jeff is NOT a Stuttering John fan! He believes guys like John have ruined stand-up comedy by stealing spots from up-and-comers just because they have name value due to a show they once appeared on. After saying guys like Stuttering John need to die off, Elisa hilariously asked, “Is Stuttering John the COVID of comedy?” to which of course Jeff said yes.

DJ Jeff was simply terrific. He brought a lot of energy and intensity to the show. I can really see him thriving as a regular on Kermit and Friends. Hopefully Jeff agrees!

Now, on to Kleenex....

The Friday before last, Elisa surprisingly met with Kleenex in person for dinner along with Stuttering John and a couple of her co-workers. Elisa made it clear what a delight Kleenex was on last week’s KAF episode and how happy she was that she got to spend time with him in person.

In my review last week, I said, “No one has made more threats towards Elisa or cursed her out more times than Kleenex.” This is what made it a surprise she would meet him. And while I wanted to give Kleenex the benefit of the doubt - I and everyone familiar with him knew he would say or do something to screw up Elisa’s positive feelings towards him.

Well, Kleenex did exactly that.

Kleenex appeared on the What The Fuck podcast, hosted by ‘Crazy Joker’ Mark Connors and ‘BadCore’ Corey Beffert. They asked Kleenex about his experience meeting Elisa, and Kleenex mentioned being disappointed in Elisa’s looks, he said he was mad she wouldn’t meet him at a hotel she recommended he stay at, and he claimed Elisa tried to make a client out of him by attempting to sell him gold on the phone a few days after they met.

Was Kleenex being malicious? In my opinion, no. Kleenex knew Mark and Corey aren’t big fans of Elisa, and he wanted to fit in. This is how Kleenex always is, at least until he gets angry about something. If he’s not angry, Kleenex is going to tell you exactly what he thinks you want to hear.

Regardless, Kleenex was wrong. Words hurt, and Kleenex hurt Elisa’s feelings with his words. She was so nice to him and so complimentary towards Kleenex after the meet-up... how could he say anything bad about Elisa after that?

Elisa’s looks? We all know Elisa is beautiful. Maybe she does look her best while on the show but we’ve all seen Elisa on apps like Periscope where she has no lighting, filter, make-up, etc. many times and she’s still drop dead gorgeous during those occasions. When you’re in Elisa’s position in Beverly Hills, surrounded by other beautiful women, I can’t imagine how it must feel to hear, “You’re not as pretty as I thought you were” coming from someone you considered a friend.

I bet every time Elisa has been rejected for a role she auditioned for or dumped by someone she dated, her first thought always is, “I must not have been pretty enough.” That’s natural for a woman in that city to feel that way, so for someone like Kleenex to say Elisa wasn’t up to par for his standards, it set Elisa off.

Elisa jumped out of her character and started hurling insults and putting unflattering pictures of Kleenex onscreen. While this was very funny and entertaining, it’s not who Elisa is... but no one is themselves when they’ve reached a breaking point.

As angry as she was, in Elisa’s mind, Kleenex deserved to have his feelings hurt just like he hurt her feelings. And it worked. After the show, Kleenex gave a sincere apology on Twitter and hopefully he learned a valuable lesson (probably unlikely). Also to address his other allegations... Kleenex told Elisa when they met that he had $100K in the bank and was interested in buying some gold, so Elisa calling him about it a couple of days later to see if he’s qualified was all of Kleenex’s own doing. As far as Elisa not wanting to meet Kleenex at a hotel... gee, I wonder why?

While on this topic, I must give props to KAF OG Krystal who made her return to Kermit and Friends for the first time since its revival. Krystal did her best to reel Elisa back in when Elisa’s head was close to exploding while she was confronting Kleenex. It was nice to see Krystal back on the show and I hope she becomes a more regular presence on it.

On a more heartwarming note, I also need to give a special shout out to Sharmin Smith, who sweetly shared with us yesterday how she found out after his funeral that her late nephew’s favorite hip-hop group was Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony. If you remember, Flesh-N-Bone from the group was featured on Kermit and Friends twice this past year. Sharmin felt this was a serendipitous sign and was brought to tears talking about it, which almost made Elisa cry. Very beautiful moment.

As you can see, Kermit and Friends struck every emotional cord this week, which is what the show strives to do. Whenever you think the previous week can’t be topped, Elisa finds a way to top it. It really is remarkable at this point. Can’t wait to see what’s in store next :) 

[revasnaslan]

6, 7, 22, 23?

6. Which squadmates introduced in ME2 would you have most liked to see return as squadmates in ME3?

ohhhhhh um... that's a good question 🤔🤔 like this is kind of difficult to answer because there's a few companions i think would have worked, thematically, such as miranda. i don't think i've spoken about this in detail before, but during my last playthrough, i was kind of struck by how her interest in horizon leads to that entire mission feeling more like a loyalty mission of a character who should have been a companion. but she's just not really included in the roster and it feels like a missed opportunity??

my self indulgent answer is thane 😔😔 although i mostly wish he hadn't gotten shafted by the writers so bad, i would've also taken him as a squadmate because I Heart Him and it would've been interesting to see how he was dealing with all the shit going down in the galaxy. or maybe examine his trauma and the compact, give my boy kolyat some actual screentime........ and it's not even like you can use the excuse that oh he couldn't have been recruited until after the coup because both tali and kaidan/ashley can't be recruited until after then either???

7. You can undo three canon deaths in the series. Which ones do you pick, and why? What futures do you see for these characters in the version of canon where they lived?

1. Mordin - this is a wholly self indulgent answer because thematically his death works just fine, but i am attached to him and his death is the only time i actually got choked up playing these games. i understand that he dies fixing what he broke, but i do kind of wish he had gotten to live to see the krogan flourish again... idk what he'd do honestly, but his friendship with eve is very cute, so i think it'd be interesting to see how they interact now that the genophage is cured.

2. Thane - again, i don't actually have a problem with him dying, because he was kind of terminally ill from a chronic illness and i think magically fixing him is kind of a cop out, but i do think the way his death in canon was framed is kind of cheap :/ i would prefer it if he lived and we got to see him and kolyat continue to work on their relationship and heal from what's happened to them... and maybe take on the compact *cough*

3. Virmire Victim - okay so this is based on a plot bunny that my friend mae and i were throwing around about how interesting it would've been if they had brought the squadmate who died on virmire back from the dead to serve as a kind of winter soldier-esque assassin in 3. like loyal to cerberus, brainwashed, doesn't really recognize shepard but kind of feels familiarity to them. and you wouldn't know who this assassin was until the coup, when it's revealed that they're the squadmate you left behind on virmire. it has so much potential for shepard having another opportunity to do right by them, possibly save them from mr illusive. and you can't even say that cerberus couldn't do it because they literally brought shepard back from the dead Let's Fucking Go!!!

22. If the games had allowed you to choose which squadmates you were close with, which squadmate (not counting your love interest) would you have established as your Shepard's best friend?

so, answering for my girl hester. her best friend (even before garrus, who is her romance) is actually thane. they really click and i kind of have joked before that they're kind of like that one meme from scrubs and garrus is just off to the side being like Maybe Someday She'll Love Me Like That because they're just really close. i've kind of been playing around with the idea that drell have a very nuanced view on soulmates that includes completely platonic ones because from what thane says about their beliefs, they place a lot of emphasis on the soul and body, so the idea that they believe souls come together for different reasons and may be drawn together because of that is very intriguing to me.

he's there for her following grunt's adulthood rite because she goes into shock afterwards due to Trauma As A Sole Survivor. she specifically requests his presence from my mshep nic who was the other squadmate to go along. he still calls her siha, too, even though there's no romance between them (and zero inclination either, they're actually kind of annoyed whenever someone mistakes them for a couple), because i do not think there is a single name he could call her that would showcase the respect he has for her more.

23. What's one piece of character or species lore that never made sense to you? How would you fix it?

the genophage being treated as a Woman Problem. it really reminds me of good ol' henry eight, and how he blamed his wives for being unable to produce heirs, even though it's much more likely that he was the problem given his myriad of health issues (especially towards the end of his life). i make this comparison because it is never suggested in game that the the krogan men might have sperm issues. maybe the genophage makes some women incapable of ovulating or has something to do with the strength of shells, but i highly doubt that only the women are affected by this. plenty of krogan men likely don't have viable sperm (either they have lazy swimmers or their sperm is just completely inert), which is yknow, kind of important since that's also a zygote that's necessary for conception. so to frame the genophage like it's solely the "fault" of the women is really fucking stupid and i hate it (:

[allisonmakes]

MOVIE REVIEW: 10 things I hate about you

A classic high school rom-com to quote with your friends and further romanticize a hard four years. I liked this movie and it’s a great sleepover film if you and your friends only feel like half watching something. There is bad fashion, fun songs, and I rate it 6/10

Summary- New kid (who is also a senior but looks 12) immediately wants to date sophomore Bianca. The only problem is that she is not allowed to date until her older, badass, feminist sister dates. What an issue because who would want to date a girl that is empowered? A whole scheme unravels and it’s basically a fake dating mutual pining au so my fanfic readers will enjoy this one.

Review on story- very meh. It’s problematic, but I rant about that in the long paragraph. The writing for the characters is surprisingly good. Everyone stays true to themselves and each person is defined and has their own personality, for better or worse. The plot also had a good flow. I don’t think I saw one scene that didn’t matter. Everything built on each other and for the large number of important characters, they all were developed and fit well. The dialogue is pretty cute as well. One of my biggest problems is the title. Spoilers: I know that Kat reads off the poem about the 10 things at the end but I don’t like how the poem tired in at all and I think it wasn’t a strong scene. The title bugged me so that’s that. End of spoilers: The best take away for writers is the characters. They worked well together and you could tell the actors were a lot like their characters and were extremely believable.

Review on filming- I don’t have much to say on filming. To be fair, I wasn’t paying attention too much to camera angles because I watched this as a comfort movie in the background of writing another review (ahah yes I take this very seriously) One thing I really wanted to touch on is the scene at the house party. When we first arrive, the camera pans through a cute little swing bench area and I thought “Oh wow that’s really cute and I wish there would be a little scene there otherwise that’s wasted potential” and then ten minutes later THEY WERE ON THE SWING BENCH THING! Intuition check? Yes, but that was a really good way to introduce a smaller set or a prop that will come back later. It is really good to show a couple things before they come into play because then the audience feels more involved.

Feminism- What?! A new category? Yes, this movie and almost every other movie falls under the influence of the patriarchy and it is my self-proclaimed job to call it out. The start of Kat and Patrick’s relationship is extremely toxic. A girl being asked out as a joke or for money is no laughing matter and thankfully this movie does not abuse this relationship further. Women are not items and cannot be bought. Before I get to poor Bianca, please note that part of Kat’s character development was her losing her feminist qualities. She continued to speak up on injustice and doesn’t take shit from anyone, but she is not as outgoing or “different from the norm” at the end of the movie. They made her reliant on a man by having her character say that she is nothing without Patrick by reading the poem. This is very harmful and teaches people that women are, in the end, nothing without a man. Wow what a rant and we didn’t even get to the best part. Bianca is bought, sold, lusted after, and treated like a dumb girl this entire movie. Within the first minutes, Cameron says that he can and will “get” her like she is a prize for a game. It is clear that she wants a healthy, happy relationship and is tricked by both Joey and Cameron into relationships with them. She is portrayed to have no original ideas and mainly does whatever is told of her, despite going against her father’s wishes. Her character is poorly written and I beg any aspiring writers to portray women as people and not prizes.

Overall- Wow that was a lot, but it was necessary. I did really like the movie and will gladly try to recreate the great prom-posal with the girl I like someday. It will probably end up bad, but hey, do it for the reference.

[tonystarkbingo]

3 Prompt Summaries - TSB Discord Party Game

Prompts: snow angels, Rhodey, mistaken identity - dracusfyre

@polizwrites - On his way home after a late night studying at the library, Jim finds a very drunk high schooler making snow angels in the quad. Afraid the kid might die from hypothermia, Jim brings him back to his dorm room to thaw out. He discovers the next morning that he rescued the heir to Stark Enterprises who is also one of MITs newest doctoral candidates.

@dracusfyre -Tony looks out the windows of Avengers HQ and sees snow angels mysteriously appearing outside. He is convinced its Rhodey playing a prank on him when he catches Steve and Bucky sneaking out at night trying to make the perfect snow angel

@deehellcat - post-Endgame au: Tony's perfecting the de-icing for his prosthetic arm, so instead uncle Rhodey takes Morgan out to make snow angels. He sees somebody coming outside all bundled up, thinks it's Tony, and says something very snarky, but it's not Tony, it's Nebula and they teach her to make snow angels too

@somesortofitalianroast - It wasn’t every day that New York City got almost two feet of snow, much less one where all of the Avengers were a) on Earth, and b) at the Tower. Which meant Tony had to bring the Avengers down to Central Park for a good old fashioned snowball fight. It didn’t last long, their snowball fight, not with superpowered Cap and Bucky, Thor, and Natasha being Natasha. After a snowy ambush, the team fell onto the ground, laughing. Soon, someone was making snow angels, quickly joined by the rest of the team. They were laughing, giggling, covered in snow, when the distinctive whine of repulsors filled the air. Steve froze, already wishing he hadn’t left his shield back at the Tower when the new-comer popped his faceplate. “You never could wait for me, do you, Tones?” Rhodey asked.

@dracusfyre - "Why?" Nebula says suspiciously. "Because it's fun," Morgan chirps as she waves her arms in the snow to make the wings. Nebula watches as if she is going to be quizzed on it later. "But it's cold. And wet." @deehellcat - 'that's part of the fun!' Morgan says, 'going back inside and getting warm and drinking cocoa'

@lronhusbands - There are snow angels on the lawn of the pentagon. The cameras don’t show anything. The government officials are absolutely bamboozled. They assume this is part of some dangerous terrorist threat. Then Rhodey comes home from his mission, sees all the snow angels, and laughs bc Tony used to do the same thing in MIT. When he would have his sleepless nights he would make snow angels under Rhodey’s apartment and wait for him to come outside so they could play

@jacarandabanyan - Tony launches a new Stark Industries product line- the first one that's his idea from start to finish. It's a durable, high-performance arm prosthetic, capable of handling extreme temperatures, can take lots of abuse, the works. He falls hard and fast for one of the amputees from the first round of beta testers- a funny, sweet amputee named Bucky, whose pretty face is sufficient to distract Tony from how little personal information he included in his application. One night Rhodey comes to visit and sees Tony and Bucky making snow angels to "test out how well it does in the cold" and freaks out about Tony hanging out with the assassin that everyone above a certain clearance is trying to find. "He said he was a recent-grad data engineer, Rhodey bear!" "Do you even vet these people at all, Tones, I swear to god-"

@lbibliophile - [substituting 'snow-angels' with 'snowmen'] If you ask Tony, it never happened. If you ask Rhodey, he will tell you all about it in glorious detail - although the ending is always a bit hard to decipher under all the giggles. The points are thus: 1. Their first decent snowfall at MIT, Rhodey and Tony decide to act like the teenage engineers they are, and make the best and most lifelike snowmen they can 2. while Tony is off looking for the right sticks for arms, Rhodey's snowman suffers a catastrophic structural failure, and collapses all over him 3. Tony returns, sees two snowy figures and idly wonders where Rhodey has wandered off to. 4. Snow-Rhodey moves. Tony screams. 5. (always added by Tony) Tony beats the figure with the sticks he is holding, until enough snow comes off for him to recognise Rhodey underneath 6. the afternoon devolves into a full-out snowball fight.

@rebelmeg - rhodey’s a prankster, which nobody seems to know but tony. so when he’s out on the grounds walking through a thick layer of freshly fallen snow and suddenly finds himself being pushed face-first into it, he hasn’t even scrambled to his feet yet before he’s hollering, “RHODEY!”  except, it’s not rhodey, it’s sam, and he’s laughing so hard he can’t even protest when tony shoves a handful of snow right in his face.

Chel - Royalty, Tony playing the piano, and soulmates

@juuls - Soulmates involving hearing music.... royals put on a concert at coming of age where they and potential mates play and if they match (somehow...)

Then tada

Like Cinderella but with music maybe?

Or you hear the same tune as your soulmate and no matter how masterful a musician may be they cannot perfectly replicate the sounds two (or three) soulmates hear.

@dracusfyre - SHIELD is hosting off-world royalty as part of the unveiling of Jane Foster's Bifrost project. Tony was invited but gets bored waiting for the royals to arrive, and amuses himself by playing the piano that was set up for the reception. He looks up when he realizes that someone is listening and when his brown eyes meet green, he realizes that his soulmate is apparently a goddamn alien. (Frostiron)

@lbibliophile-mcu - When Tony says he can play piano, people think he means classical. [Insert prefered character here] is ecstatic to realise that actually Tony has just memorised the accompaniment to every Disney love song.

@somesortofitalianroast - Royalty, Tony playing the piano, and soulmates: Tony never told anyone why he learned to play the piano. Only a handful of people knew, and they were the people who had seen his Soulmark, the one part of his body he’d kept hidden, covered. Every Soulmark had a single match somewhere in the world. Tony had the wonderful luck to have the opening notes to the national anthem of some obscure European nation, the anthem only played at the weddings of their King.

I see it as Tony is the soulmate of the prince of [insert fictional alpine nation here], but you can take it anyway you want, that's the beauty of these games

@rebelmeg - playing the piano was a part of tony’s education as a prince, the same as learning several languages, history, and how to conduct himself in public.  he never expected it to lead him to his soulmate, or that someday he’d be sitting side by side with his pepper on the piano bench, playing a simple duet with her while their daughter plinked the keys with her little pudgy fingers.  not even a year old herself, but princess morgan was getting a headstart on her musical education.

[risingsouls]

Recruited: Chapter 10

[I did another thing! This one is a lot shorter than the last several have been and a little more filler-y BUT we’re getting close to canon stuff (that I’m trying to figure out how I want to write and format still). SO here we gooooo!]

Vegeta

Any miniscule time he was forced to spend alone with Frieza aggravated the prince. Whether to bear the brunt of some reprimand, to listen to him discuss business to an audience of intergalactic dignitaries at a stupid feast he was dragged to and forced to endure like some pet, or to nod along with him prattling on about himself and insulting Vegeta or his race in a single breath, he preferred it when running an empire distracted Frieza from his existence. This rare occasion of the tyrant requesting his company on a special mission had the same effects: the usual rage of being helpless to end the emperor's life, the discomfort of watching his every step and word, the humiliation of bearing his belittling commentary and pretending to be his proud, obedient attack dog. It was maddening, and the only solace in the trip was that he left Dodoria and Zarbon both been behind to attend to other business.

Nappa, Raditz, and Nabooru had also been ordered to deal with another assignment while Vegeta accompanied Frieza. Disconcerting due to the fact that, in circumstances such as this, his cohorts would be ordered to remain on base until his return, placed on a schedule that included training and any other grunt work the commanders could find for them. However, he supposed Frieza wanted to keep his top teams busy conquering planets for him. Vegeta hadn't missed the increase in work they had been assigned, and even their latest three day reprieve had been cut short. He tried to convince himself it all meant nothing, that, even if Frieza noticed how the four of them trained more often than usual in their free time, his ego would keep him from getting too suspicious. But Vegeta couldn't deny the increase in his own paranoia with each passing day. Each day he stepped closer to exacting revenge and killing the bastard, and he constantly found himself dwelling on every possible scenario that could skew or outright obliterate his plot.

"It's almost a relief to have different company for once," Frieza mused, a wine glass held between his middle and index fingers. He nodded to the bottle, a silent insistence Vegeta top him off. The Saiyan swallowed his grimace and did as he was bade. Zarbon's or Dodoria’s usual task. He noted the shift of his crimson eyes to the still near full glass in his gloved hand, and took the hint to take another measured sip. "Zarbon and Dodoria tend to bore me after a while. And their bickering...if they weren't so loyal and useful, I may have offed them by now out of sheer annoyance."

Vegeta chuckled, practiced amusement and rehearsed reactions. "I can only imagine," he responded. Another glance spurred him to add, "I suffer the same with Raditz and Nappa. Though it's less their bickering than some inane, disgusting topic of conversation I don't care to hear in detail."

"Yes, I suppose that is an unfortunate vice of the lower classes, their obsessions with sating their lust." Frieza swirled the wine in his glass, black lips downturned in disgust. "A product of lower brain function, I suppose. They have little more than lewd absurdity to keep their minds occupied. Something the two of us fortunately don't suffer from."

The prince bowed his head, performing each gesture that appeased Frieza with loathing. He didn't care for his useless compliments. He found it hard to focus on them when all he could imagine was ripping those horns from his head and burying them in his eye sockets. Or shoving the wine glass into his mouth and forcing him to chew it up and swallow the shards to laugh as he watched him spit blood onto the pristine floor.  "Thank you, my lord. Your compliments are the highest honor."

"And they do not come lightly, Vegeta. You are an enigma of your kind. Had your race not perished, you would have made a fine ruler. Far better than your father." Vegeta ignored the twinge of rage his words plucked in favor of focusing on drinking the dry wine. "Yes, my tutelage has done wonders for you. Perhaps if my father had done the same with yours as I have done for you, perhaps he, too, could have evolved from a mere monkey playing court and dressed in regalia to a full-fledged ruler."

To keep his grip loose on the stem of his glass and not shatter it proved challenging in the face of his father's mockery. No matter his mixed feelings of the deceased Saiyan king, he did not take insults of his memory well. Especially from the likes of Frieza. He bit his tongue and once more drank to silence the blazing barrage of insults he wanted to sling in retort. 

"You are too kind, my lord." The words burned like acid on his tongue. "I agree that my growth under your watchful eye has favored me greatly. I thank you."

"Of course. I saw promise in you the moment I set eyes on you. However, there is always room to grow and learn, wouldn't you say?"

His tone, the smirk on his lips, ramped Vegeta's paranoia to near overload. Had Frieza found out about his plotting? Led him and his team straight into a trap of some sort?

He was given little time to consider as Frieza spoke up again. "Earlier you only mentioned your Saiyan comrades. It reminded me that you and I have never fully discussed the fourth I added to your team. How has she fared?"

"Nabooru is a competent warrior, well-versed in her craft and battle strategy. She fits in well, and, outside of being mouthy and questioning my authority once in a while, she's proven her worth." He glanced to the wide window before them, to the passing stars and junk, the endless void of space. "She learns quickly and strives to improve where she can. She was hesitant to carry out orders, but has grown out of it for the most part."

Frieza laughed. "Such a glowing report from the commander who pitched a fit over my decision." Vegeta's lips tightened to a thin line and his brows lowered ever further, only encouraging the emperor's delight. "I can't say I'm surprised she has a belligerent streak. Her former king said the same of her when I asked in one of our visits. Your temper must be improving if her first strike didn't convince you to kill her. I have seen you kill for less, after all, Vegeta."

Vegeta clicked his tongue. "She's simply lucky she figured out not to take her insubordination too far with me. Otherwise, I would have. Her power level and skill be damned."

"A lesson well-learned, it seems. I recall it took you some time to learn the same, but I suppose you had the excuse of being a mere child."

Vegeta merely nodded, the memories of the physical abuses doled out by Frieza's or one of his cohorts' hands when he rebelled and the scars left behind all too fresh despite their age. The mental mutilation of the mind games the tyrant played with him. Each had served their purpose because he vowed and showed respect to the bastard with little beckoning. It made him sick, clawed at his pride and convinced him death would be a more pleasant fate. But he wanted revenge more than anything, so survive he must. No matter the cost. It would be worth it someday.

"Sir, we are approaching our target," the captain announced. "T-minus five minutes."

"Excellent. Remember, there will be no need to land here." 

Vegeta glanced to Frieza when his scouter pinged. He pressed the button on the side. "Ah, what good timing, Nabooru. You have landed on Planet Noya and met with the other team there?"

Frieza cut the transmission and sighed dramatically. "Unfortunate, really." He finished off his wine and set the glass aside. "Shikoo and his team were quite the commodity. But one too many rumors about stoking rebellions and insubordination makes it difficult to keep such bad seeds among the loyal."

He waited for her reply, the smirk on his lips growing ever wider. "Yes, yes, I am aware of the success in purging the planet. The instructions to rendezvous with the soldiers sent to Noya were...purposefully vague. The task for you and the Saiyans is to kill that team. Don't worry your pretty head over why, dear. It's unbecoming of a soldier.. Their punishment has been a long time coming."

Vegeta's throat closed up and his mouth dried out. "The proper decision, it sounds like, sire," he managed, finishing his own glass and abandoning it. "Not to overstep my own boundaries, but I assumed we were purging this planet we're going to."

"We are. In a sense." He hoisted himself into his hover chair and propped his elbow on the edge, cheek resting in his palm. His crimson gaze rested on Vegeta, unblinking. "The denizens are...formidable enough, especially en masse, and intel suggests they wish to rebel against me. I have decided the time and potential casualties aren't worth the effort for what little the planet has to offer in the long run, so destroying it entirely will be a far better use for dealing with them. One and done, as they say."

A rare instance in which Vegeta agreed with Frieza’s methodology. He wished he would pass down such an order more often than he did, frankly. Putting down rebellions wasted time when they typically ended up murdering them all anyway. Any extra precautions and instructions usually forced them to hold back or went up in smoke not long after they landed. While he understood that some planets had more value than others, blowing up the planets and washing their hands of the business would allow them to take on more jobs. Send a team to gather whatever resources from the planet beforehand and then he and his team or one like his could destroy the place and move on. Not to mention he liked the thrill, the power behind destroying an entire world on his own.

A blue green planet slowly drifted into view, decent sized with a large landmass facing the ship in its current position in its rotation. Frieza waved for him to follow him to the center of the ship. "Come along. Vegeta. We will approach close enough that your ki will protect you from the lack of oxygen. I will allow you to do the honors." 

Vegeta took the blare of the signal for the opening of the uppermost hatch as his cue to surround himself in a protective barrier of energy. While he could not survive the void of space this way, it offered protection from suffocation for at least a few minutes. More than enough to obliterate the planet and retreat into the safety of the ship once more. He followed Frieza up and through the hatch, hovering over it and facing the planet.

Though only allowed the chance to destroy entire planets on a few occasions, he made a point to remember what it felt like. The exact amount of energy he needed to build in his palms, how to adjust for the size and density of the planet. Back of one hand pressed to his palm, he shifted his arms back behind his head. Violet energy surged around his hands, his body, the draw and thrill of powering up familiar and welcome. Up and up he allowed his energy to rise until he deemed it the perfect amount to accomplish the task at hand. He shoved his hands outward once more and the stored cache of energy fired from his palms and through space, surging through the planet's atmosphere and striking the surface within seconds. The blast drilled through the landmass toward the core, wide cracks and fiery splotches already spreading from the point of contact.

With another beckoning from Frieza, Vegeta lingered a moment longer to watch the spectacle of magma shooting upward and his blast rending the planet in twain before following him back into the ship. The hatch closed and they returned to the navigation deck.

"Not bad, prince," Frieza drawled, scarlet gaze locked on the demolition out the window. "A bit messy, but unfortunately we don't have time to witness the entire fireworks show." A nod to the captain. "To our next destination."

The captain bowed and turned back to the controls. Before they swiveled around fully, Vegeta caught a glimpse of the planet's final moments: a series of explosions peppering the surface as its stability caved. Within moments, it would be nothing but space dust floating among the stars. A mere memory until it faded from it. Would any of its race survive? Would they hear the news of their home's destruction immediately, or only find empty blackness when they return? Would they, too, be plucked from whatever refuge allowed their survival to serve the Cold Empire? Told that a meteor destroyed their planet and they really had little other choice left as the empire still technically owned them?

His jaw tightened. He couldn't dwell on such things. None of it mattered. It never did. I never would.

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

Lace

(Hayffie ❤️🔥. Exploration of the potential of Effie and Haymitch through time using lace as metaphor. I spent several days channeling what I imagine of Effie as I tried to write this just so. It was worth the effort. NSFW. Sexual content toward the end.)

“I used to rummage around in my grandmother’s trunks trying to find them. I love the feeling of chiffon and lace.” — Stevie Nicks

***

Lace was Effie’s earliest gateway to a partially hidden self. Scallops, finely knitted with silk thread, swirled in her hands and opened a dream world. She stepped into it with great anticipation. Beneath white lace she could be a ghost. Not the ghastly kind that frightens the world, wailing the aches of an unfinished life. But the ethereal kind that floats through the halls, unencumbered by expectation. In her imagination, everyone would pause to gaze upon her. They’d all still to listen to the rustling of the fabric of her existence.

In lace, she could become whoever she wanted to be.

As a little girl, she dressed up in riches and regal innocence, draping herself in her Nana’s long pearl necklace and lace shawl. She served tea in painted porcelain cups to painted porcelain dolls. “Manners, children! Don’t slurp your tea. Curl your pinkies, and you’ll grow up to be great ladies.”

By 8 years old, she felt quite grown up herself, caught between innocence and incipient desire, crushing on the boy who’d just won the Games. She picked a bouquet of flowers from the garden. “I’m Proserpina now, goddess of fertility, agriculture, and wine...” She ate six pomegranate seeds, and pulled the shawl over her eyes as a veil. “...Someday I’ll be the bride of Pluto, God of the underworld and mineral wealth. He’ll love me like no other, and I the same for him. They call him Haymitch now, but I know his true identity. I’m the only one.”

She scooped up one of her dolls and wiped its porcelain neck with the corner of the shawl. “There. You’re pretty again, Maysilee darling. Those awful pink birds are gone. You’ll come with us to live in the underworld with diamonds and rubies and sapphires. Nobody there is ever really dead. You’ll be the princess, and I’ll be the queen.”

In lace, she worked through the trauma that existed in witnessing so much death.

“And isn’t that at its core what the princess fantasy is about for all of us?... ‘Princess’ is the wish that we could protect them from pain, that they would never know sorrow, that they will live happily ever after, ensconces in lace and innocence.” — Peggy Orenstein

***

There was lace between them the first time Haymitch touched her. The delicate gloves she wore met his fingers with surprising softness. He’d shaken hands with lacy-gloved Capitol women countless times. He’d pressed his lips to their knuckles when they presented their hands for kissing. He got that shit a lot, and most of the time it annoyed him. Those textures were predictably coarse.

The first touch of Effie was alluring. That silky fabric full of holes peaked his curiousity about the feeling of her skin. They’d just met, and he didn’t want to let go of her. Not yet. Damn. Attraction to an opulent Capitol girl was a complication he didn’t need.

“Nice gloves, sweetheart.” He couldn’t resist. The moment felt too good to say nothing.

Through layers of makeup, he could see her blush. Another surprise. She didn’t drop his hand. They held on until the spots where they touched infused with a shared warmth. It didn’t take long, with both of them wondering how it would feel to play with fire.

Flint struck steel, and sparks flew for years as they goaded each other with words and mannerisms. The burn was slow seduction. There are dualities to lace. It can’t decide whether it’s an angel or a devil. In those years of indecision, Effie touched him many times through gloves: curling her hand in the bend of his elbow, brushing against the back of his neck accidentally on purpose, skimming her fingertips across his forehead to push his hair from his eyes when he was drunk enough not to object.

She took to interlacing her fingers with his the moment one of their tributes was killed in the arena.

“Don’t.” He bristled at first. “Don’t patronize me.”

“Is that what you think I’m doing?! I don’t want them to die. You know it hurts me too.”

She was getting too attached. She’d need to find a way to toughen up if she was going to keep doing the job. And he wanted her there. Holding her hand took a slight edge off the horror. He was getting too attached — to her. He recognized it.

“I’m not hurting.” His words were unconvincing. He took a long drink, and he didn’t let go of her until the flask was empty.

“Give me lace and whiskey.” — Alice Cooper

***

The system, ultimately fragile, was indeed brought down by berries — and blood. After the revolution, resources that Effie had always taken for granted were scarce. During the early years of reconstruction, she asked Greasy Sae to teach her how to mend lace. The old woman repaired it for resale using just an ironing board, straight pins, a needle, thread, and scissors.

“I ain’t gonna ask how your panties got ripped, dear.” She winked. “But I can show you how to fix ‘em.” Sae could fix most anything, and Effie enjoyed spending time with her. It was like rummaging again in her grandmother’s trunks, but finding treasure in pearls of wisdom.

Effie’s connection with Haymitch had caught fire when the world did. The timing made sense. One intensity begets another, like creation.

After learning on small items, Effie moved on to mending more precious swaths of lace like the heirloom tablecloth in her apartment. Haymitch sank into her sofa, and watched her work in a slip and an sheer robe printed with flowers. Her hair kept falling in her face so she pulled it back into a ponytail.

Her hair alone turned him on. He took swallows from a glass of Capitol liquor that he didn’t know by name, and he thought about holding onto that ponytail and fucking her.

She felt his eyes on her. “You’re suddenly fascinated with sewing?” she asked without looking up from the stitching.

“I’m fascinated with you.” The words weren’t playful. They pulled her heartbeat into her gut. Butterflies. They’d been seeing each other for over two years, and he could still tug at her without touching.

A smile lit up her face.

“Are you almost done with that, sweetheart?”

“Patience. When your leg breaks, you can’t rush the bone to fuse back together.”

“Are you planning on breaking my leg? Because I’ve already got another bone for you to fix.”

“Your ‘bone’ can wait for the sake of art.”

“...I’m gonna make you come, honey. If that ain’t art, then I don’t know what is.”

The flush of her cheeks and the swell along the axis of her body were distracting her, but she finished the task regardless.

She removed the pins, lifted the lace from the ironing board, tied a small knot in the thread, and clipped off the excess to finish. She sat with him on the sofa to inspect her work. Her stitches were precisely as tight as the weave of the lace. The fix was fairly perfect.

The tablecloth draped across her lap and spilled over her legs. Through the lace, he caressed her thighs, her knees, her calves, then back up again. She was too affected to nag him about being careful with her masterpiece.

“You like this,” she murmured.

Hell, yes. “I like almost seeing you through it... touchin’ you... You’re so fine, Effie.”

‘Fine’ was a word he generally used when they argued, when something wasn’t quite right and when he didn’t want to talk about it. This context felt different.

Shit. I’m into her. If I don’t keep this in check, I’m gonna be so into her. “...Can I...?” He asked in response to his unvoiced feelings.

“What do you want, honey?”

He stroked the apex of her thighs through the lace and her satin slip.

She moaned softly.

“You like this too.” His voice was thick with desire to swallow the sounds that escaped her throat. He’d start there, then move on to the rest of her.

“Hell, yes...” she sighed, sliding her fingers up the short sleeve of his shirt.

The tablecloth fell away and they clutched each other, as if she might dissolve into molecules, as if he might disappear. It was like that sometimes — grasping, clinging need.

Stay.

Please stay.

“I stare at her collarbone that’s framed with lace, the hollow of her collarbone, her shoulders that rise with each rise of the weight of her next breath. We’re fragile things. Our bones show through our skin. What would any god want with us?” — Lauren DeStephano

***

In the old days of the Capitol, lace curtains were a means to show off assets. In the Trinket family home, lace hung for years in the windows of the parlor, showcasing an antique grand piano and furniture made of mahogany and velvet. Less ostentatious and commonplace items were relegated to rooms cloaked in thick window coverings or not visible from the street.

Effie was raised in this manner, instructed in the duality of garnering attention and practicing concealment. Lace has the capacity to reveal, on occasion, something you might rather hide — whether when used to line your parlor, cover your body in a second skin, or partially cloak the contents of your heart. People take risks in lace.

Effie peered into her parents’ marriage and understood her own desires were different. “Did you love Father when you married?” she asked when her mother chastised her about spending so much time with the victor from District 12.

“This conversation is about YOUR future, not my past,” her mother responded without answering the question. “At your age, you certainly should be thinking about marriage, but for heaven sake not with a savage. Taking up with him is impractical. It will ruin your life.”

Effie worked to hold the lid on the pot boiling inside her. “He is not a savage. I ‘took up’ with him years ago, and my life is my own. I might move to 12, and I might never marry. Those are MY choices to make.” She resisted the urge to flinch. As a girl, being that frank with her mother would have prompted a slap in the face, but her childhood was long gone.

Her mother was stunned into silence, so Effie asked again, “Are you in love with my father?”

“...Are you in love with Haymitch?” Her mother again ignored Effie’s question, though her tone softened in curiosity. She at least acknowledged that she knew his name.

“Yes,” Effie answered without hesitation, hoping her admission wouldn’t pose a threat to him. She recognized the balance of power had shifted. The Trinkets’ curtains weren’t lace anymore. The contents of the parlor had been sold. Nothing was as it used to be.

“How do you know?” Her mother asked. “How do you know you love him?”

“I’ve always known.”

“Always?”

“From my early memories, playing that we were king and queen of the underworld. Playing with metaphorical fire, even then. ...I want to be with him. I love him so much it hurts.”

“Love shouldn’t hurt, honey.”

“How could you know?”

“Because I love YOU.”

“And how do you feel about what I’m telling you now?”

“You’re a grown woman, Effie. ...Though I can’t help but feel heartbroken picturing you in that life.”

“Love is a rock against the wind. Not soft like silk and lace.” — Etheridge Knight

***

Haymitch returned from the Hob to find his front door unlocked. Adrenaline shot to his arms and legs, and he unsheathed his knife before stepping inside. All was silent. Maybe he’d simply forgotten to lock it. Unlikely though since he did that reflexively, even when he was drunk. He misplaced his keys sometimes, but he never left home without locking the door.

Anxiety grew in the stillness. He checked every room downstairs, then tiptoed up the staircase. He found the *intruder* asleep on his unmade bed.

Effie was dressed — scarcely — in white stretch lace stockings hooked with garters to a matching top. He remembered her calling that kind of thing a bustier, though he’d never seen this one before. She was curled up on her side, and he saw in profile her naked hip and the smooth curve of her ass.

She’d said she had to work this weekend, so her showing up was a surprise. He sheathed his knife as the increased blood supply eased away from his limbs and flowed straight to his groin. From the rush of adrenaline and Effie’s sensual appearance, his heart beat like crazy. His mind was sharp despite lightheadedness. Fucking adrenaline. He knew it as well as anything else.

He quietly removed his boots, peeled off his clothes, and slipped into bed beside his girl. Her even breathing soothed his frayed nerves. He watched her chest rise and fall, and he took in more details of her attire.

The bustier pushed her breasts together, creating a hint of cleavage in a large teardrop-shaped opening between them. Two extra straps emerged from the lace above the peak of the teardrop. They passed over her collarbones, along the sides of her neck, and slid down her back.

Her nipples, soft in sleep, were visible through the lace. The fabric cupped her breasts then stretched to her waist. Everything below was bare — no panties, no thong, nothing but her. Then the stockings.

He had never wanted to touch someone so badly everywhere at once. He curled his fingers around her hip and plucked kisses on her forehead until she stirred.

Good morning, sweetheart; he tried to tease since it was already late afternoon, but the words must have spun in his lungs with his breath, because nothing came out.

Effie rubbed her eyes awake, like a child dressed up in the body of a goddess. “Hey, stranger...” was all she could say before he sucked the rest of the greeting from between her lips.

“What was the point in satin and lace if it didn’t make a man struggle to speak?” — Alexandra Ivy

***

Their reunion was ardent and greedy. He was all sinewy flesh, and she touched him every place she could reach with her hands, arms, legs, body, mouth... He reciprocated the contact with mutual intensity, barely taking care not to crush her. She was like a bird with lacy feathers. He pulled away long enough for her to sing...

“God, you feel good. You’re worth every mile of that infernal train ride.”

He inched down her body, tracing one of the bustier straps with his chin as he kissed along her neck, down her throat to the lace and the unexpected cleavage. “You surprised me.”

“I’m sorry. I’d planned to call out when you opened the door, but the bed was warm, and the sheets smell like you, and I couldn’t keep my eyes open.”

“I’m not complaining. I’m just feeling every ounce of adrenaline pumping now in my dick.”

Through the lace, he stroked one of her breasts with his tongue and the other with his thumb. When her nipples peeked through the fabric, he scissored one between his teeth.

Her jaw dropped open. She sucked in a breath and held it until he shifted his attention to her other breast. There was a moment of release, then she gasped again as the pleasure deepened. She exhaled in words, “I’ve got plans for you.”

Uneasiness crept in. “What plans?”

“Don’t worry. You’ll like it.” With a fingertip, she traced around the teardrop on her chest. “You want to fuck me... here?”

Sandwiched between her breasts with soft lace covering the head of my dick? “Only a fool would say no to that.”

She propped up on pillows. “Come here...”

He straddled her rib cage, taking care not to crush her. She held his hips as he slipped through the teardrop into the valley between her breasts.

Ahh, fuck...

She positioned her palms to accentuate the function of the bustier, squeezing him with her flesh. Then she entwined her fingers over the lace on top of his dick. “Is this good?”

His answer was obvious. He was already thrusting. “Oh, fuck,” he cried aloud this time, feeling the pressure, friction, and excitement of her sheathing him like a knife.

With each movement, his balls grazed the lace too. It was so much sensation. He ran his fingers along her scalp, threading them through her hair. He couldn’t think, and he was afraid of pressing too hard on her sternum and hurting her. “Are you alright?”

“Honey, this is hot as hell. Keep fucking my breasts for as long as you can hold out.” She tightened her grip.

His strokes quickened. “I haven’t got much left before... God... Effie...”

“Where do you want to come, honey? On my neck? In my mouth? Inside me with me coming too?”

He was close, so damn close. In a blink, he pulled out of the sheath and the teardrop, breathing hard. “Shit. Give me a minute. Don’t move and don’t say anything.”

She froze as requested, with her hands still on her breasts. The veil slipped, and she understood what was happening. He was choosing her — intimate connection and pleasure WITH her. She fought tears from welling up because she didn’t want to explain them. She just wanted him to make love with her, and she realized it was happening.

As if to prove it, he stretched out flush against her body and kissed her as before, like he couldn’t wait. “Inside you, with you coming too. That’s what I want.”

She wrapped her legs, esconced in lace, around him and drew him in. With each plunge he was swimming, feeling the waves as she clenched him deep.

“Slow down, honey. I wanna wait for you.”

Thrilling in his words, she had to force her internal muscles to relax and loosen their grasp.

He propped up on one arm and drew circles on her clit.

“Mmmm... Keep that up, and you won’t have to wait much longer.”

Gentle tugs and circling grew more insistent as his body was losing patience.

Her body clenched him again of its own volition. “Oh... I’m... Oh, honey... It’s so delicious....”

“Fuck, Effie. You’ve gotta... Holy shit...”

“Ohh, I can’t stop... Are you....”

“Yeah.” He grunted as the waves overtook him. “Oh, hell... This is it.”

As they climaxed together, the veil slipped, and he understood what was happening. This was more than adrenaline and far beyond fucking. He was making love with her. He was loving her more than anything they were doing in this bed. He loved this girl, HIS girl.

As their breathing slowed, he kissed her as if she was the most intoxicating drink of his life. And, damn it, she probably was.

“You waited.” Her tears welled up. She couldn’t stop those either.

“It’s like holding back wild horses, sweetheart.”

“Four black horses and an ebony chariot.” She said, thinking of the myth she played at long ago.

“Something like that.” Though the analogy was ominous. It reminded him too much of the Games, and he was already shaky coming down from the rush of adrenaline. He collapsed against her. She felt his tremors, and he felt her tears. What the hell am I supposed to do with all this feeling?

“Shh... It’s alright. We can do this,” she said to herself as much as to him. “We’re a team. Remember?” You’re not alone anymore.

She held him until the shaking stopped. All he had to do was let her.

“What can I do with my happiness? How can I keep it, conceal it, bury it where I may never lose it? I want to kneel as it falls over me like rain, gather it up with lace and silk, and press it over myself again.” — Anais Nin

***

The little girl had reached an age when everything in existence was a discovery followed by a question. With all her might she dragged a small cedar chest from the corner of the closet. “What’s this, Nana?”

“It’s buried treasure, Baby Doll. Would you like to open it?”

The little one clapped her hands in anticipation and lifted the latch. Though the springs had worn out long ago, the girl was strong enough to lift the lid without assistance. It fell back onto its hinges, revealing the contents within. She peered inside with eyes wide open.

“Those treasures are old and precious. Most are very fragile. Will you promise to be ever so careful?”

She nodded with serious intent, then rummaged inside to pull treasures out. One by one, she took them to her Nana in the rocking chair...

A lace shawl, a long strand of pearls, two porcelain tea cups, and a porcelain doll with a painted face. A dried bouquet of flowers in a locked wooden box with a glass lid. Golden lace gloves knitted with silk thread. A sheer robe printed with flowers. A yellowed lace tablecloth. A purple corset and a white lace bustier. Plus many sentimental trinkets including a paper card with birds on the front and an inscription inside. The girl was too young still to read.

“What’s it say, Nana?” The little one climbed into her lap and waited for the words.

It reads, “Effie and Haymitch. I wish you happiness. Love, Mother.”

“That’s you and Grampa!”

“Yes, my dear.”

“Where’d all this treasure come from?”

Effie thought a moment.. “it comes from smiles and tears, laughter and fits of madness. From a life full of diamonds and rubies and sapphires — not the kind you dig up from an underground world, but the kind you carry in your heart.”

“It would take a giant heart to carry all that!”

“That’s why we share our lives with the people we love. So we have more than one heart to hold all that treasure.”

The girl rubbed her eyes and snuggled against Effie, “Nana, tell me a story.”

With her arms around her granddaughter, Effie began... “Once upon a time there was a girl who lived inside a rainbow. She’d reach for the colors around her, but her hands were always empty because the rainbow wasn’t real. So she filled her hands with love, and she painted a real life in all the colors she used to live within but couldn’t touch...”

Effie’s granddaughter clutched the old lace shawl as she fell asleep.

“Concealment and revelation. A veil and a shroud. Chastity and wildness. Fragility and resilience. Complexity and simplicity. Curiosity and knowing. Teasing and fulfillment. Thrill and comfort... These are my hopes for you, Baby Doll,” Effie whispered.

Lace becomes what we need it to be.

“Hopes were wallflowers. Hopes hugged the perimeter of a dance floor in your brain, tugging at their party lace, all perfume and hems and doomed expectation. They fanned their dance cards, these guests that pressed against the walls of your heart.” — Karen Russell

[vwildmonk]

2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 11, 13 and 14?

B for you also!!

Also: If she were in smash/mario kart, what powers do you think she'd have and what would her vehicle look like???

What's your favorite thing about playing her?

Random thought you have about her that just won't leave your brain?

Putting under a read more as these got long again, but thanks for sending in the ask! Happy to take many more as these are always fun! Also looking forward after a game soon seeing how Lin centric answers change, she’s going to be going through some fun (and happy) things in her near future!

Also excellent extra Qs Frosty, love to see ‘em!

2.  How easy is it for your character to laugh? Laughter… oh tough one cos Lin, she does laugh quite frequently. But some of that is a forced laugh at the end of one of her own ‘look at the peckin’ idiot jokes’ or to misdirect things (both so others dont see and so she doesn’t always have to think too deeply about her words). But she also does laugh genuinely quite a bit as well; family shenanigans, silly stories over warm meals or steaming drinks, watching toon chaos go down that is safe and silly. It’s easy when you know her to get honest laughs- she’s open with those she loves and as they bring her joy the actual warm laughter comes easy. Something that is going to get even easier given time. It’s loud and bright and full of warmth and it’s going to be softer.

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?) At the moment? A sharp drink of a sleeping potion and trying very hard to think happy thoughts as she blacks out- nightmares still come but she does try. Waking half-shifted too few hours later and fighting a shift isn't great... but she slept enough right? 

But In the future? It’s going to be better. Reading sometimes, but also a good cup of Stagehand’s special hot chocolate and a final chat with her boy are going to be important and soft. Making sure he’s asleep, sometimes staying with him to make sure he gets good dreams and nodding off herself. Other nights it’s getting herself in the comfiest pyjamas she can find, snagging a lullapop to put on the bedside table and doing some breathing exercises with Network humming songs to her. Nightmares might still happen, but with a major dangerous card off the table, she’s going to feel easier about getting support. Her dreams are going to get sweeter… and maybe one or two cuddle piles will be helpful. She always sleeps best when she knows family are near and safe, in either of the two places she calls home. The last thought she has when drifting off is the phantom of comforting hands she’s felt in the past full of love and reassurance, slipping into sweet dreams and true sleep knowing everything is alright.

4. How easy is it to earn their trust? It can be quite easy and also quite hard! She’s guarded and needs a reason to trust people. But there are ways, if you seem kind and caring and open- if she sees good and soft present? You show her through your acts that you are someone potentially safe to trust? She’s got a bleeding heart and a wish to help. Having people care for her back and trust in her confirms that bond, She will do her best to prove that the care is well placed. Other ways are steps: You help out children and she sees that? Congratulations you have a little bit of her trust. If she gives you her business card, you’re definitely working your way up as network, and if she invites you around or turns up to a place that you’ve invited her to more than once? Yeah you’ve definitely got her trust then- you might even be family.

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust? Lin likes to think herself as a wary person, and she is- once bitten twice shy sort of thing- she can get quite railroading on her views. In this world if someone can harm you and gain something from it, they likely will- she’s seen that quite a bit from her cases. So if something sits wrong with her, or she finds things out that taint views, or someone just keeps pushing the wrong buttons it can break that trust or prevent it from ever forming. However, given time and proof Lin can learn to trust people even if she didn’t originally.

Breaking her trust? Withholding dangerous info from her or doing something that takes what little control she has out of her hand. Once you’ve broken or splintered the bond it is going to be incredibly hard to earn it back. 

She’ll beat herself up for months that she didn’t see it coming, or worse question where she went wrong that led to the moment happening. It’s a surefire way to get her walls up and once you’re on a mistrust list it’s tricky to find ways to get off them.

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable? Oh another tough one! Lin sees laws as both. They can be flexible, you can find the loopholes and the strings and manipulate them so the system is the best it can be- work within it to keep people safe and as shielded as possible- with the Law backing you it makes it harder for things to go wrong. At the same time she sees the corruption in places and knows that if things go wrong that immovable authority and strong laws will be worse than hitting a brick wall. Just because laws can do good, doesn’t mean the people behind them always are. It’s one of the reasons she is so worried for Lil Boomer. If that kid gets into trouble enough to actually get caught by the authorities, she’s genuinely unsure how she could get the flexibility to make sure that little reelkind didn’t get hurt.

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child Oh Lin had a lot of people giving her advice as a kid, many different stagehands helping her learn things and also beyond that. She’s got a few snippets she recalls best: “Start/keep exploring, there’s a world full of people Pompom, never stop seeing that.”, “”lil Lin, pompom, kiddo, please for the love of peckin’ gods stop leaping from the rafters to scare folks, do it like this!”, “Never be afraid to come in for a hug pompom dear, always ask permission first mind for most folks, but remember to keep being open- you’re a good kid, keep being soft eh?” … “Pompom… Lin please, whatever the peck is going on stop and talk to us Stop shoving us away! What’s happening to You?! What is wrong with your design? What is wrong with your face, this isn’t normal would you just- Lin Lil Lin Stagehand talk to us! -Kiddo!” 

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)? If it’s for a case or for something related to someone she cares about, she seeks info out. Either clarifying with folks or doing some sleuthing and finding as many reports or related information snippets as she can. She might even straight up bluntly ask someone if something makes no peckin sense about them. Although she tries to have habit of tact for her inner circle when she asks questions, or with children. She tries to be soft as needed. Her track record of near perfect cases definitely proves that she has done her best over the years to limit confusion at all costs.

 If it’s something related to herself though, perhaps about the cure? She will dig up as much as she can but also likely spiral if she can’t find the source or the answer to the thing confusing her most. She’ll pretend everything is fine while internally going into panic spiral at ‘peckin detective can’t even help themself’. Nothing is ever simple or calm and so she can’t believe it if something is too easy, and she’ll drive herself into confusion if she listens to much to her paranoia.

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color? Lin… doesn’t really know what colour she looks best in? She’s had the same outfit for as long as she can remember with the odd costume for a case or seasonal event. Navy and Red are her go to colours and she does suit them quite well when she is her natural true colour. In fact she does think she looks good in them, especially with her niece-jumper in gold-red-navy. So that’s her ‘best look’! 

When her fur has become the distressed russet the red kind of clashes a bit but that won’t be an issue forever. She’ll have to try out other colours someday, when she gets the time and energy to go clothes shopping, maybe try out autumnal or halloween themed colours, she’ll see how things go.

What animal do they fear most? Herself Wolves. She knows other wolves aren’t like the Thing that bit her, and the Thing in and of itself wasn’t fully wolf… whatever the peck it was is something else… but yeah, from her own shifting and knowledge of what she can do, and that memory of something lupine and huge hurtling at her from the dark… its definitely an animal that sparks her fear response and has her reaching for her broach and crossbow at the sound of a howl or a too big shadow. 

She will meet lycans in the future that help ease that, and seeing druids like her son be able to change to wolf form is cool… but if she doesn’t see it coming or one come at her from behind she will flinch and shield whoever’s closest to her and mentally be somewhere else for a second. 

An old fear that’s going to take a long while for her to be able to ease away. Wolves are wonderful creatures, she just has to break the association.

B) What inspired you to create them? Honestly? Toonkind in general. I saw my first session of it on YouTube when I was alone and wandering what to do with myself as my DnD adventure died with lockdown. But this whole new world of insane and amazing characters and stupendous people- it sparked such joy and life in me. Lin was formed from that joy, and then from there she has grown. I am so delighted by the stories I can tell with her and the people I have met through her. That creation inspiration has bloomed since then... in fact: Lin thinks in network connections, and in this instance, the Drafthouse server to me? Is a RAINBOW of inspiration.

Mario karts: 

Vehicle wise: She’d have something small, a very speedy little car in her signature colours and a very happy tooting little horn, does it have racing flames on the side? Absolutely bc she delights in the silly things even as she projects sensible detective as well. 

Special power move? You ever heard this little monkey swear? An explosion of tangible grawlix symbols in a rainbow of colours bursting from the car to knock people out of the way (followed by a very quiet version of her signature laugh).

Favourite thing about playing her? Interactions with others. Lin has built an amazing web of family that is full of love and warmth and softness. Getting to see her grow into that and reach back is something so soft that I am delighted to enable. Her CornMaze family, spooky grandparents, her son? her many adopted children and newfound friendly pecknecks? It’s the people that make it fun to play her and give her such life. She changes and grows and shifts even beyond what I think of her and so that makes it so exciting to play as I have no idea what the future will have in store.

…also not going to lie hearing people scream “Lin for peck sake NO” adds years to my lifespan as I cackle, she’s a beloved but so very dumb little monkey who makes poor life choices and audience reactions give me life.

[tsuki-chibi]

Passionfruit (Novembr) Day 16: Forbid

Catch up on AO3: Passionfruit

————

Ladybug thought she did a good job of holding it together until Chat finally fell asleep. Only then did she allow herself to really, truly start panicking. She pressed her face into the back of his neck, her breathing rapidly speeding up. Of all the people to find out about them, it would have to be Chloé. The one person capable of knowing that if Adrien was Chat, that meant Marinette had to be Ladybug.

Maybe Chat was right. Maybe Chloé would keep it secret... but maybe she wouldn’t. There was a world of difference between Adrien and Marinette being soulmates, and Adrien and Marinette being Chat Noir and Ladybug. One of those secrets would get Chloé tons of attention, and if there was one thing Chloé Bourgeois loved, it was attention.

She closed her eyes, her grip on Chat so tight that he surely would have protested had he been awake. He blamed himself, not only for what had happened with Dark Cupid but also for Chloé finding out, but it wasn’t solely his fault. Ladybug should’ve known better. She should’ve shut up. She should’ve given him the chance to speak to Chloé and then talked to him afterwards when he was alone.

What if Plagg tried to take Chat’s miraculous away? What if Chloé knowing was over the line? Ladybug’s breath rattled in and out of her. She wouldn’t let that happen, she decided. She’d fight whoever came for the Ladybug or Black Cat miraculous. And if Plagg and Tikki didn’t want to work with them anymore, well. She’d fight them too.

Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that. Maybe Plagg hadn’t heard. Maybe Chloé had changed enough to understand the importance of keeping this a secret. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Ladybug muffled a screech against Chat’s back and allowed herself the luxury of a full thirty minutes of letting her anxiety take over catastrophizing.

She was exhausted by the time her brain stopped running in panicked circles, but she didn’t dare fall asleep. It was too risky. If Gabriel or Nathalie walked in on them, they were fucked. She rested her chin on Chat’s shoulder and thought wistfully about being able to lay in bed with him as Marinette, without having to hide from their kwamis.

If Plagg took the Chloé thing well... perhaps she and Adrien could revisit the idea of telling their kwamis the truth. Life would be easier and a little less stressful. Even now, Ladybug wished she could detransform and talk things through with Tikki. She was certain that Tikki’s wisdom and ability to offer advice would be invaluable right now. But that wasn’t an option as things stood. Ladybug sighed.

Chat stirred. She froze.

“Mari, you’re freaking out,” he mumbled.

“Well, I figured it was my turn,” Ladybug whispered. She wasn’t sure what had woken him up, but guiltily figured it was probably the influx of emotions. She’d certainly run the full gamut in the past hour or so.

Chat squirmed around until her grip on him had loosened to the point that he could roll over and look at her. What was coming through the bond was muted by weariness, but she could make out concern mingled with curiosity. It was a relief to know that his earlier self-loathing had, at least for the time being, lessened.

“It’ll be okay,” he said, touching her cheek.

“I think so too. I just, you know, needed a moment,” Ladybug said.

He opened his mouth to apologize for falling asleep. She put a finger to his lips to silence him, but of course that didn’t work so well when you had a telepathic bond. Chat wrinkled his nose at her.

‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone to sleep like that,’ he thought.

Ladybug sighed. “Stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault, you dumb cat,” she said crossly. “You needed that nap.”

“But you needed me,” he said, lips moving against her finger.

“And you were right here. With me. Doing exactly what I needed. Acting like my teddy bear,” Ladybug told him. “Sometimes a girl just needs time to freak out.” And have some potentially unkind thoughts about Chloé that Chat wouldn’t have to overhear.

His lips quirked up into a faint smile. “So I’m your teddy bear now?”

“More like a teddy kitty, I guess,” she said.

“I guess I can live with that,” Chat murmured. “I don’t really know what to do now.”

“We’re kind of a mess, aren’t we?” Ladybug said.

“Little bit,” he agreed.

She grabbed his right hand and laced their fingers together again. “You know I’m not scared of you, right? You get that?”

He nodded.

“Good. Because I’ll say it as much as I need to that it wasn’t your fault. But...” she trailed off.

“But?” Chat prompted, knowing that she had something she needed to say.

“I hope you’ll be more careful about trying to protect me,” she said bluntly. “Yeah, I know I’m the only who can purify the akuma blah blah blah. But what happens to you affects me too, okay? Focus less on protecting me and more on getting us both out of the way.”

“I’ll still protect you if I can,” Chat said. “But yeah, okay, that seems like a fair compromise.”

She smiled then. Their heads were close together since they were sharing a pillow. No sooner had the thought crossed her mind that she would really like to know what kissing Chat felt like when she wasn’t trying to free him from being brainwashed, than Chat’s eyes had widened and he lifted his head to move towards her.

“Adrien? Are you in there?” Nathalie’s voice came through the door at the same time that she rapped sharply on it.

Ladybug practically levitated out of the bed in her panic. Chat’s eyes were bulging and frantic as he grabbed her arm and they sprinted towards the window. There was literally no time to swing away without being seen. They scrambled out onto the narrow ledge below Chat’s window and plastered themselves to the wall.

“Adrien?” Nathalie called again, this time opening the door.

She held her breath. Chat’s grip on her arm was so tight that his claws were pricking uncomfortably. Neither of them dared to move an inch. If Nathalie spotted them, they were screwed. There was no easy explanation for why Ladybug and Chat Noir were hanging out in Adrien Agreste’s bedroom. She crossed her fingers and toes for good measure and prayed that her ladybug luck would kick in.

There was a long, tense silence from above them. Then Nathalie said, “No sir, I thought I heard something but he’s not here. Perhaps he went to his fencing lesson after all. I’ll send -” Her voice cut off as she walked out and closed the bedroom door behind her.

‘Thank fuck,’ Chat thought shakily.

‘That was too close for comfort,’ Ladybug thought back. ‘Do you think she’s gone?’

Chat tipped his head back to listen. His hearing was superior to hers. ‘I think so,’ he thought. ‘But she might come back. We should go.’

Ladybug sidled closer and wrapped her arms around Chat’s neck. He gripped his baton in his left hand and sprang off the ledge, sending them both soaring over the fence. He didn’t stop, turning in the direction of Le Grand Paris. She wound her legs around his waist and held on.

Chloé was clearly waiting for them, because her balcony door were open. Chat’s baton touched down first; he lowered them slowly to the ground and let her slip down. She lingered, enjoying the close contact between them. Their faces were mere inches apart, almost close enough to -

“It’s about time!” Chloé exclaimed.

“Hi Chloé,” Chat said, resigned.

Ladybug slowly turned her head. “Hi Chloé.”

“I thought you’d changed your minds,” Chloé said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Of course not,” Chat said. He walked over to the door and into Chloé’s bedroom, as casual as though he did it all the time. Then again, Ladybug reflected, he probably did. Adrien and Chloé had spent a lot of time together.

She followed, pulling the balcony doors shut behind her. Chloé’s room was enormous. It was easily the same size of Adrien’s room, though more sparsely decorated. Ladybug didn’t see any video games or books, just a huge make-up country, a desk, and a walk-in closet. She caught a glimpse of clothes that made her fingers itch just to touch them.

“I want to see,” Chloé said abruptly, looking back and forth between them.

“We can’t,” Chat said immediately. “We can’t be seen.”

Chloé’s jaw tightened. Her arms slipped down to her waist, like she was hugging herself, and she said, “You think I’d record you?”

She was hurt by the unintentional implication, Ladybug realized, and found herself rushing to explain. “No, of course not, Chloé. It’s part of the magic that lets us be superheroes. If we detransform, someone else will know that we know each other’s identities and that you know. That wouldn’t be good.”

Chloé’s eyebrows furrowed. “Wait. You’re not supposed to know about each other?”

“Sadly, no. For safety reasons, it’s supposed to be a secret,” Chat told her. Anticipating her next question, he added, “They don’t know we’re soulmates.”

“I see,” Chloé said, somewhat mollified. “That sounds stupid.”

Ladybug gave a small grin. “I think there’s some reasoning behind it, but I also don’t disagree. Chat and I trying to hide from each other as well as everyone else would be needlessly complicated.”

“We’ll show you someday. As soon as we can,” Chat said. “But Chloé... in return...”

“I know. I can’t tell anyone,” Chloé interrupted with a wave of her hand.

“And you’re okay with that?” Ladybug asked before she could stop herself.

Chloé scoffed. “What, do you want Adrien to stop being your partner?” she asked sarcastically, putting a hand on her hip. “Because that’s what will happen if his dad finds out. He’ll freak.”

“Freak is an understatement. I’d be lucky if all he did was forbid me from doing this,” Chat muttered. Ladybug touched his arm instinctively, grounding him in the midst of a swell of bitter memories.

“Besides, it wouldn’t do me any good. Who would believe that klutzy Marinette Dupain-Cheng is Ladybug?” Chloé went on. “I’d be laughed off the streets.” She cocked an eyebrow at Ladybug challengingly. “Right?”

“Can’t argue with that,” Ladybug said mildly. After all, Chloé wasn’t actually wrong.

“I suppose I could even help with distractions when you two have to leave class to fight akumas,” Chloé went on. “For a small fee.”

“And what would that fee be?” Chat asked. He was deeply amused by this whole thing, which made Ladybug feel more comfortable.

At least, until Chloé glanced up at them and smirked. “Not much,” she said airily. “But it’ll be totally worth your while. Your excuses suck. Right now everyone thinks you skip class to go make out in the locker room.”

Forget comfortable. Ladybug promptly choked on her own saliva and burst into coughs. Beside her, Chat went bright red from the collar of his suit to his hairline. Chloe’s smirk broadened into an amused grin.

“I kinda figured that wasn’t the case, but you know. You can never be sure,” she said.

“We weren’t making out!” Ladybug squeaked between coughs, probably a little too loudly.

“Duh,” Chloé said.

“What do you want?” Chat asked, trying desperately to regain his composure. He deliberately avoided looking at Ladybug.

Chloé pulled her phone out of her pocket and held it up. “Fix your hair, Chat. Ladybug, touch up your lipgloss. It’s selfie time.”

[reylo-trash-4ever]

HELLO REYLO FAM!!!

Wow... I am incredibly nervous about posting this because I haven’t shared my writing in years, but the incredible @lana-n95 gave me the idea when I made my prompts post, and I just rolled with it and made it an entire fic. SO HERE YA GO! 

Shout out to @scav-eng-er for being my Reylo Soul Mate and literally giving me the courage to do this!! I couldn’t ask for a better support group in @mojona1999 and @firethebluesky as well! You lovely people are who keep me going and I promise I’m working on getting us all a group chat so we can be friends for life.

This will be updated fairly regularly, but please do not expect a lot yet. I’m working towards bi-weekly, but for right now, this is all I have. I hope you enjoy! EEK!!

“The Game” - a Reylo AU

Universe: AU/Modern day New York

Rating: M (this chapter only has some mild language and sexual themes)

Word Count: 3629

Pairing: Rey and Ben Solo

PART ONE:

The New York winds were especially biting that December morning as Rey made her way through the bustling streets of the city. She wove in and out of passersby as everyone went about their day, each individual having separate lives, separate troubles, and separate dreams.

Rey had quite a few dreams of her own, but they were sometimes hard to make into reality. She had worked her ass off to get to where she was today, though. It was a great and classic story; a ‘nobody’ girl who came from the rural countryside making it big in the city. She’d always been passionate about helping people and doing what she could for the underdog, probably because she had felt like one all her life. Nobody thought she could do it, but she graduated at the top of her class in almost every subject, excelled in sports, and even dabbled in the theatrical arts when she had time. Her determination and hard work didn’t leave room for many friendships, but she didn’t mind putting all of that behind her when she moved to the city to study law.

College was good to her. She finally met some people she would call lifelong friends. She studied hard, and she learned harder. She was still kind of a ‘loner’ at heart, never really being the person to be seen out at parties, bars, or clubs. Every once in awhile she let herself go crazy, but it was rare. So much so that her friends started calling her “The Black Cat” because it was such a shock, and slightly unnerving, whenever she actually showed up to events. She knew the superstitions and implications surrounding a black cat, and she easily could have taken offense at the nickname, but Rey secretly liked it. Let her be known for her sly, hard work and mystery, not how well liked and popular she was or wasn’t.

It was this mentality that ultimately landed her a job as an intern at Skywalker and Associates straight out of college. It was a miracle from the stars that she got accepted into one of the top law firms in the state so soon after graduating. She didn’t really believe in a “higher power”, but something up there in the infinite galaxies must have been on her side. She knew she was good, and had the potential to be the best, but she had never before had the resources due to her upbringing. The opportunity was something she would never be ungrateful for.

It had been almost eight months since she started interning, and already she was making her way up in the company. Her dedication to cases and her keen eye for detail had gained her the attention of some of the more prominent names in the office and she hoped it was enough to be the next Jr. Partner.

Rey pulled off the street to step into a small coffee shop. A little bell chimed as she pushed open the door and the wondrous smells filled her nose as she took a deep breath in. The warmth filled her body and was almost a shock coming from such a drastic difference only seconds before, but she welcomed the comfort.

She stepped in line and perused the menu, even though she already knew what she wanted. It was the same thing she always got - a french press, dark roast with just a little bit of half and half - as she was a woman of pattern and repetition. Getting the same thing day in and day out had never bothered her. It was safe, it was what she knew. Why risk something that would rock the boat? Even though she didn’t normally believe in “luck”, she didn’t want to risk it today. This was her chance to finally start doing real cases and to work on projects that would make a difference.

“Would you like to round up your order and donate to the Children’s Hospital for the holidays?”

The barista’s voice took her out of her own head after she had apparently told them her order without thinking. Rey smiled and nodded her head quickly in response. She felt in a ‘giving mood’ that morning. Send as much “good karma” out into the universe as she could.

“Thank you so much, and have a nice day!”

The words faded into the hustle and bustle of the crowd as Rey stepped away and waited for her drink. She dug her phone out of her pocket and soon got lost in social media, scrolling mindlessly. Friends and distant family passed her screen, seeming to all be living happy and comfortable lives with their loved ones.

Rey had always wished for that kind of security and ‘home’. It was one of the reasons she worked as hard as she did, so she could hopefully someday give that life to herself. The one she never had, but always wanted. Her mother passed away when she was in grade school and her father left before she was even born. Being an only child, her uncle had offered to take her in, but he was a bachelor with a demanding job and very little time for another human being besides himself. He wasn’t the worst person in the world and they got along well enough, he was just never really much of a ‘parental figure’. She learned early on that she would have to find her own place in the world, and her fierce determination was set from that moment on.

She didn’t know why this was the morning of reminiscing, but something about the possibility of change must have had her brain in that mode. Rey brushed off the weirdness as she got up out of her seat after hearing her name being called. She made her way through the crowded cafe and grabbed her coffee.

She turned to leave, thanking the employee behind the counter again over her shoulder, when suddenly, she was almost knocked off her feet by an incoming stranger. She caught herself and her coffee, thankful for the lid stuck solidly to the cup, and turned around with a glare.

A tall man with broad shoulders and dark, shoulder length hair had been the culprit. His tall frame towered over her, but he seemed intent on barely even acknowledging her in his attempt to rush past. She caught his attention though, and he turned to look back at her over his shoulder. Rey, astounded by the audacity of the stranger, continued to glare and silently dared him to apologize for the discrepancy.

The man simply blinked at her for the briefest of moments, a glint in his dark eyes as they gazed back at her with an air of pride and so little remorse that it sent a shiver down her spine. Then, without a word, he continued on his way as if he had never hit her at all.

Rey scoffed angrily and whipped around on her heels as quickly as she could to get out of the coffee shop, now with a sour taste in her mouth. Some people are just assholes, she concluded as she once again walked out the door. A gust of blistering cold air hit her face and she closed her eyes. She tightened her scarf around her neck and pulled it up so that it was covering her nose, trying to shelter as much of her face as she could. God, she hated the cold...

***

It was as busy as always at the office. Rey quickly got lost in her work, and she didn’t realize how much time had passed before she heard her co-worker, Rose, calling her name.

“Do you ever take a break?”

The short cropped, black haired girl crossed her arms over the top of Rey’s desktop computer, forcing her to break from her work. She couldn’t help but smile when looking up into her ever cheerful, grinning face.

“I don’t have time for a break,” Rey said, trying to see past the distraction.

“I admire your dedication,” Rose stood on her tiptoes to lean over and look at Rey’s computer upside down. She was one of Rey’s favorite coworkers. Unlike the other women, she didn’t sit around the office and gossip all day, but had just about as much dedication to her job as Rey did. Well, almost as much.

“Did you hear about Rex and Ava?”

“Oh my God, no! Did they hook up?”

The chatter of the women standing behind them was too much for Rey. The office was notorious for rumors, especially of the romantic kind. Apparently, the people who worked there were infatuated with who was dating who, who had an affair with who, and who slept with who. Personally, Rey wanted nothing to do with it and couldn’t care less about the love lives of her coworkers. Unless it was Rose, but one of the things Rey liked about her was that she was pretty private and kept her personal life separate from her work life.

“I heard they got lunch yesterday and-”

“That’s crazy! I thought she was seeing that Lando guy from Brooklyn-”

“Look,” Rose said, “you eventually have to take a break. You know that, right? It’s bad for your mental health to be so busy all the time. And it’s kind of required by law.”

Rey smiled at her friend. “I know,” she said, placing her palm on Rose’s head and softly pushed it back so that she had to move off of her computer, “and thank you for caring, but I’m alright.”

“You would let me know if you weren’t, right?”

“I heard that the CEO’s son was going to start here in the new year.”

“No way! That arrogant jerk wants nothing to do with his father’s company. And he’s supposedly a real ‘ladies man’.”

“But I heard he’s super attractive and has that ‘rich bad boy’ vibe. Wouldn’t that be so hot?”

“Well, I have to admit, that would be a welcome change around here.”

Rey tried to drown out the distractions of the noises and she managed to plaster another reassuring smile on her face. “Of course I would.”

“It’s a long shot, but we’re all getting drinks at Naboo’s, that new cocktail bar down the street, if you’d like to join us?” Rose asked, motioning to a few of the other women who were all filing behind her and collecting their coats and respective purses. Her dark eyes begged Rey to come along, and she hated to disappoint, but she knew she didn’t want to go.

“I wish I could,” Rey said with a hint of genuine sadness in her voice, “but I just have so much work to do. I was planning on staying a little late tonight anyway.”

“Well, you can’t blame me for trying,” Rose chuckled with a shrug. She turned to leave and gave Rey a little wave over her shoulder.

“Have fun without me,” Rey called after her as she walked away, grabbing her own coat as she passed by the coat rack.

“Would be more fun with you,” Rose teased. There was a small ding and the now collective group of men and women who were leaving for the day clamored into the elevator.

Rey watched as the doors slid shut and just like that, it was silent in the office. She let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and sighed with relief. It was always nice when she could be here by herself. She found that she got more work done with less distractions. She wouldn’t be there that late anyway and her bosses didn’t mind as long as it helped further the business. Some of them were still working in their own offices, so she wasn’t completely alone.

She grabbed her laptop to take to the conference room and finish some paperwork on a particularly difficult case. Although, she quickly discovered that maybe not taking a single break that day, even to eat, was probably an issue. Her stomach growled and at first she tried to ignore it, but when her hunger headache began, she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep it up for too much longer.

With a long sigh, Rey stood and made her way to the break room. Taking a peek through the floor to ceiling windows, she could see the city all lit up for the evening. There was something special about New York at night, but especially around the holidays. People had candles in their windows and hung colorful lights on balconies and railings and really wherever they could find space. She loved upstate, and not just because of the expensive look of her surroundings and the other rich things it had to offer, but because the city really did look stunning at night. Like a million, twinkling stars, but unlike the unreachable night sky above, if you reached out to touch them, they were almost in your grasp.

***

After making a quick protein filled smoothie, Rey went back to the empty room to finish her work. Only, when she got there, she discovered that she was not alone.

A man lounged in her chair, his back towards her. Without even seeing him standing, she could tell how tall he was just by how far his legs extended out from under him. He was sitting with his feet propped up on another chair close to him, one leg crossed over the other, and he was staring at her open laptop. The light from the screen illuminated his frame and she couldn’t see past his thick shoulders and broad upper torso. Something about him was so familiar to her, but she didn’t care enough to think too deeply on it as her focus was more caught on how he was snooping in on her personal case.

“Excuse me, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” She said sharply, expecting to see him jump in surprise at being caught, but he didn’t move a muscle. Instead, she heard a calm, deep voice come from the opposite side of his large body.

“I’m reading.”

The response was simple, but the tone of it made her feel like she was the stupid one for even having asked the question in the first place.

“That’s my laptop,” she said plainly, taken off guard and not knowing how else to react.

“Is it? That’s interesting,” the man sounded bored and Rey thought for a second that he didn’t even seem to be listening to her at all.

“I’m sorry, but can I have my seat back? I was working on an important case.” Rey took a few defiant steps closer, trying to be as brave as she could. Something about this man unnerved her and she was suddenly very aware that she was alone with a stranger in an almost completely empty and dark room.

“I can see that,” he said, reaching a hand up to his face and rubbing his chin, “you’ve missed something important in your report though.” He still didn’t turn to her, but his other hand appeared beside him and he wiggled two fingers, motioning for her to come over to him. Rey felt her face heat with anger and embarrassment. How dare this strange man try to correct her on her case. Who did he think he was, anyway?!

Against her better judgement, Rey couldn’t suppress her pride and she realized she had to know what he was talking about. She’d looked over this case for almost an entire week now, and she was sure there was no way she could have missed a thing. It was a pretty cut and dry case, anyway. A man cheated on his fiance and she was suing him, hoping to make him pay for all the money her and her family had already spent on the upcoming wedding.

“What are you talking about?” Rey asked bluntly as she stepped over to the man. She leaned over his shoulder and squinted her eyes in the laptop light, trying to find the discrepancy she was sure was nowhere to be found.

“Right here,” the man’s deep voice was directly in her ear and she could feel his hot breath on her neck, instantly sending shivers down her spine, “the report says that your client’s ex-fiance cheated on her with another woman. That’s a lie.”

“No it’s not, the evidence proved that he was seeing another woman while they were together, and one of the witnesses all but admitted to being his mistress. It’s a cut and dry case.”

“Except that he wasn’t seeing another woman. He was seeing three.”

“Excuse me?!” The accusation was so outrageous that Rey had to turn and give the man the most incredulous look, and when their eyes met, she suddenly remembered where she had seen him before. The scene from that morning in the coffee shop played in her mind like a rerun of a bad TV show. Her breath hitched in her throat as he stared back at her with a wry smile on his lips.

“The sample of hair they found on his suit coat the night of the supposed affair is blonde. The color of your witnesses hair is a muted brunette,” he began to explain his reasonings, never breaking eye contact with Rey while she stared dumbfoundedly back at him.

“That’s only two women. You said there were three.” She stood up straight and looked down on the dark haired man who leaned back further into his seat to keep her gaze. She knew her response was weak, suddenly doubting everything she thought she knew about this case and hating herself for missing something so obvious as that. But she was still determined not to let this stranger get the better of her.

The man’s smile faded and he moved from his seat, slowly getting up. It seemed to take him an impossibly long time to rise, but when he stretched to his full height, he towered at least a good foot above her. He looked down at her with little interest in his eyes, as if he had just gotten bored of their conversation and was bothered by her presence.

Suddenly, he was leaning in towards her and Rey’s hand instinctively grabbed the pepper spray she carried in her jacket, but the man reached past her and pulled over a plastic baggy full of evidence. Rey’s breathing was heavy with a mixture of fury and fear as he grabbed the bag and pulled it towards him.

“The perfume found in his car is an original vintage bottle of Versace made in 1983. There are only a few of these rare finds left and their price runs around one thousand dollars a pop. Judging from the size of the pocket books on both of the ladies he was seeing, neither of them could afford such a luxury. Which of course suggests that he had another, more prominent and wealthy woman on his hands.”

Rey swallowed hard and tried to keep her expression as blank as she could, but he was making too much and too little sense at the same time, and her head was spinning with confusion. Who did this arrogant bastard think he was to come in here and completely destroy her work like this?

“Not to mention, I happen to know the lovely lady who owns this particular bottle,” his fingers traced the side of the bag and he looked at it with such a perverse smile that it made Rey’s stomach turn, “She can be very… persuasive when she wants something. Her father, who owns a tenth of the real estate in upper Manhattan, will do everything he can to fight the scandal. Which means new, expensive lawyers on the defendants side and probably a lot of shaddy underground work to get him out scotch free. I have a feeling your client isn’t going to get the money, if anything, as easily as she thought.”

The silence that followed was excruciating. Rey was shocked by the revelation and the ridiculous outcome of this case she had been working her life away on. There was no way that they could have hidden this from her, was there? Her mind raced with all the possibilities that this could mean and she scrambled to find a way, any way, to turn this back in her client's favor. Could she beg for a settlement and at least get some money to the poor, mistreated woman? Or maybe she could convince the judge that this was a gross misuse of trust and blame emotional manipulation? There had to be something, anything...

“Or,” the low drawl of the man’s voice as he drew out the word snapped Rey out of her spiral. His black eyes glittered once again with something she couldn’t place and the corner of his mouth twitched up in a cocky smile as he wiggled the evidence in his hand, “this could just be a regular old department store perfume bottle and I was simply fucking with you.”

Another silence filled the room and Rey found she couldn’t breathe again. What… the… hell had he just said?

“I-I’m sorry, what?” She hissed her question and the smile on the man’s face grew wider.

“That was fun, sweetheart,” his condescending words made Rey’s blood boil, “let’s do this again sometime. When I need comic relief in this shithole of a job, I’ll look for you.” He stretched his arms behind his neck and sauntered around her, making his way out of the room. He stopped in the doorway and turned over his shoulder to give her a taunting wink.

“See you around.”

*to be continued*

[purplesurveys]

1029

[found at: zelthie]

What were you doing before you got on the computer? I took a long-ass shower after the humid nightmare that was today.

Is there anything you really want right now? I wish I had some pastry to go with my iced coffee. I miss my studying sessions at coffee shops :( and it’s not like I’ll get to have them again once Covid is over, because I’m not even in school anymore. Sigh. Also, a longer weekend. I can hardly believe it’s Sunday again tomorrow, and that after that will be Monday again. I love my work, but I also want to reeeeeeeeest.

What's the best gift you've ever gotten? Probably the front-row concert tickets my dad got me for Paramore. Outside of my parents, I really appreciated the scrapbook Gabie made for me three years ago. It turned out to be the first and only handmade gift she’d ever make for me, so I think of it fondly.

What's a song you think the world needs to listen to? Idk, people have different tastes and so it may not be possible to name a song that would successfully appeal to everybody.

Has there ever been a person you regret ever being friends with? As much as I like to firmly believe that regretting friendships should be avoided as much as possible because those people made me happy at one point, I’ve got nothing nice to say about Marielle.

Do you think you have a good understanding on love? I don’t know anything anymore.

You just discovered a new color! What would you name it? No thanks, please don’t ask me to be creative any time of the day.

What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Cookies and cream, and recently, chocolate chip cookie dough.

What do you want to do on your honeymoon? I have not had one but should I do, I’d love to go somewhere non-beachy for a change.

What's one thing you remember learning in school? Spelling difficult words. English (the language, not literature) was my favorite subject in middle school and I always liked the pop spelling quizzes we had. There are some words I could still remember getting wrong, like ‘rendezvous’ and ‘coup d’etat’ but I was always excited about learning their correct spellings so that I could start using them on my own time as well.

Are you more of a cat or dog person? Dog for sure.

How do you want to be remembered by people? [trigger warning] Idk. Whenever I think about...leaving, I always also think about leaving some kind of note instructing whoever’s in charge of stuff to keep things hushed, because I don’t want the whole thing to be a big deal and for it to spread. I don’t really want to be remembered for anything.

Do you like road trips? Yaaaaaaaaas. As long as I’ve got the right playlist that’s also long enough as well as several seasons of Friends, I’d be good to go.

Do you think Medical Marijuana should be legalized? I haven’t read much about it and that topic in general is still widely taboo over here, but I personally have nothing against it.

If you were forced to dye your hair another color, what color would you get? Brown.

Excited for anything? My first paycheck :D :D

What do you think of your parent(s)? They’re doing their best.

Are your grandparents dead? Just one.

What celebrity do you think should have never become famous? Amber Heard and the Paul brothers.

What's your favorite thing to do online? Watch stuff on YouTube. These days I’ve been revisiting wrestling again so I’ve been watching loads of matches and promos I enjoyed throughout my teenage years. I’m scared to dip my toes into today’s content though, because I barely know anyone anymore and there would be a lot of storylines I’d have to get acquainted with; but idk, I might get there someday.

Are you glad George W. Bush is out of office? I didn’t know his presidency all that well because I was way too young when he was still in office. Apparently he’s not very popular.

If you could appear on any TV show, what show would you choose? I’ve always wanted to try out The Amazing Race. I was definitely hooked to that show as a kid.

What does your full name look like without the letters t,a,i,o,e,l,n or s? Rby.

Your mood summed up into one word? Emotionless. I’m literally not feeling anything at the moment, but this is still a lot better than being miserable so I’ll take it.

How often do you talk to other people about the weather? Only when we’re experience extremes, like if it’s painfully, annoyingly hot out or if there’s a bad typhoon. Otherwise I try to find something else to talk about.

Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey right now? Nope, my full attention is on here.

What's a name you wouldn't mind having? At this point, I’ve learned to be okay with my name and don’t feel the need to whine about it anymore.

What's your favorite thing to wear that you own? My mom jeans or denim jacket.

What do you think of Barbie dolls? Boring, mostly. I grew up with boys, so we had more toys marketed for boys and those are what I ended up liking more.

When you were little, did you ever want to go to Disneyland? Not really.

Do you currently have a job? What kind of job do you *want* to have? I do. I’m already in the job/career I had wanted and aimed to be in.

What do you like to do on your free time? Being on YouTube, playing with my dogs, surveys, eating.

What's your relationship with your parents like? With my mom, it’s permanently strained after years of verbal and emotional abuse, but at some point I just learned to live with the trauma – it’s like, we get along these days and we barely get into screaming matches anymore, but at the back of my head I’m still constantly reeling from the hurt she had put me through when I was younger.

My dad and I act like each other’s buddies, but we silently look out for one another. For example he’ll sometimes make a plate of corndogs just for me while I’m at work, and that’s his way of saying “Are you ok? Here, have this. I’m worried about you” without ever having to say it to my face.

Do you own any pets? Yes, I’ve got two dogs.

How many places have you traveled to? Six countries and all over my own country, except Mindanao.

Do you own a cell phone? If so, what kind? iPhone 8.

What are your goals for the future? For things to fall into place, whatever that would bring me.

What's your favorite kind of drink? Just plain old cold water, or coffee.

Did you ever get into the Twilight saga craze? What about the Harry Potter craze? I was (and am, heheh) into Twilight; I wasn’t into Harry Potter.

Where is your mind at: The Past, the Present, the Future, or all around? My mind tends to make space for all three of these.

What's a really good movie you've seen recently? I haven’t seen any films recently but I am planning to watch Ammonite, which I have high hopes and expectations for.

Are you happy where you are right now? Career-wise, yes. As for everything else...could be a little better.

What's the first thing you thought in your head when you woke up today? AHHHHHHH SATURDAY.

If your best friend confessed that they can see the future, you would...? Ask how they were able to get such an ability.

Write a random quote that comes to your head: I’ve been watching Friends all day so the first set of quotes I thought of upon reading this question was, “I just don’t want to face three failed marriages.” “At what point did you think this was a successful marriage?” hahahahaha.

What's your opinion on milk chocolate? Like it, but sometimes can be too sweet.

What about Dark Chocolate? I don’t like dark chocolate bars themselves – too bitter; but I don’t mind it being incorporated in other sweets, like cookies that have dark chocolate bits.

You do know that white chocolate isn't even really chocolate, right? Yes. But it’s my favorite kind.

Do you get annoyed when surveys mention a band you've never heard of? If they mention it excessively or if they name too many unfamiliar bands, then I’m likely to get annoyed, yeah. But I skim through potential surveys anyway, so if I observe that a survey has too many music references I can’t relate to then I just don’t take it.

What's your opinion about Katy Perry's song "I kissed a girl"? Cool song and ahead of its time tbh, but she has so many other better singles.

What's your least favorite pizza topping? Pepperoni, beef, and pineapples.

What would you do if you discovered the US was now drafting for the war? Don’t care.

Are you even living in America, or are you from another country? Bingo for the latter.

What's your favorite social website? Twitter.

Do you believe in heaven? If so, what's it like? If not, why? No. I associate heaven with gods or higher beings, so believing in it would just kill the point of being atheist. I do like to find comfort in some sort of afterlife where I’m not in pain and am reunited with all my loved ones, though. I don’t necessarily believe in it, but it’s just comforting to think about and makes death a lot less scary.

What's your favorite video game? Super Smash Bros. Brawl would probably be my all time favorite. I do plan to get Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for the Switch, so that might get dethroned soon.

In your opinion, is Bzoink the best place to find fun surveys? Yes.

What's your opinion of high school? It only got fun once I found the right friends. Without them, I’m sure my experience would have been miserable.

Do you prefer the country or city? City.

Texting: Is it fun, evil, boring, or none of the above? It can be all of these things depending on the context of the conversation.

What email service do you use for your main (or only) email account? I’m mainly on Gmail. I have an Outlook account that’s still active, but I’ve been listing it less and less for social media sites.

What's your favorite dumb pick-up line? I don’t do pick-up lines, really. I find the entire concept pretty lame.

What are your plans for the next 48 hours? I got hooked to Friends again, so I’ll probably continue watching for the whole of tomorrow. For Monday, I’ll be at work again.

Did you ever read "Captain Underpants" when you were little? Yes. I lovedddd those books, but I always had to read them in secret (my cousin owned the books and I just asked to borrow) because my mom disapproved of them. My favorites were the Flip-O-Rama sections.

What's better: The old Cartoon Network, or the new one? Or do you not care? I’m not aware of the new version, so that leaves me with one choice. Generally, though, Cartoon Network was my least favorite channel out of the big 3 of kids’ channels.

Disney Channel shows are all pretty cheesy, aren't they? The ones they air today are, but maybe I’m just saying that because I’m already outside of their target demographic.

What's your opinion on the Jonas Brothers? I can’t think of a reason to dislike them. They’ve always been likeable, whether as individuals or as a band.

What are some of your favorite singers/bands? Beyoncé, Paramore, Hozier, alt-J, Coldplay, Against Me!, The Japanese House are the main favorites I like mentioning.

Why do the lead singers in bands always get the most recognition?! Probably because they’re the ones mainly heard. I always recognize all the members in my favorite bands, though.

Did you ever believe in the Tooth Fairy? I did, but when I didn’t receive any money  after placing my tooth under my pillow, my hopes and belief got shattered pretty quickly.

What's your favorite type of weather? Cold, cloudy, and rainy.

What's your opinion on reading books? I think it’s great when people are able to find the time to read books, and lots of them. I wish I didn’t grow out of it.

You're given a chance to act in a Hollywood Blockbuster! Would you accept? Nope.

What it if it was a movie directed by Tim Burton?(He directed Sweeney Todd) He ranks pretty low for me. He’s a great director and I respect his craft, but his filmography is not a personal favorite of mine.

How do you feel about Taco Bell? I wish I can have it more often, but we only have two branches in the Philippines and they are both far away.

Are you hungry right now? I can honestly go for a snack right now :/ Like chicken tenders or pad thai. I’m super tempted to order from Grab since I have more than enough cash on me, but I don’t want to be irresponsible with my money so very early on lol

How often do you go on to Youtube? Everyday, and most of everyday.

It's possible to be addicted to anything... What are you addicted to? Curry.

What's your opinion of Wallgreens? Unfamiliar.

Back when Spongebob Squarepants was famous, were you interested in it? Yes, it was my favorite cartoon.

What's your dream pet? Dogs.

You see a mermaid while relaxing on the beach with friends. What now? Think that it’s probably a social experiment and let them be.

Who's been your favorite teacher growing up, and why? My music teacher always gave amazing life advice alongside her lessons, and she was so graceful and so classy and she simply invited respect everywhere she went. I’ve always wanted to be like her.

When you were little, did you ever like Pokemon? Yes. I watched the anime and collected Pokemon pogs and cards. My cousin had a lot of the video games and I’d watch him play those, while my sister had a couple of Pokemon books that explained each Pokemon.

How often do you get headaches? These days, everyday. Hahaha work is super hectic.

Do you have any songs stuck in your head right now? If so, what? Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House.

[alternislatronemhq]

Congrats, Beth, you have been accepted to AL for the role of Narcissa Malfoy (FC: Skylar Samuels). Ahhh, Beth, really well done! I think it’s really easy for Narcissa to be seen as this innocent flower who just got dragged along into the dark side by her husband, but you have totally shattered that trope. Your Narcissa is a complex woman who has a mind and heart of her own as well as the courage to follow that. She’s going to be in such an interesting place in this game, and I have full confidence that you’re going to portray that with justice! Please send in your blog (no sideblogs for first characters, please) in the next 24 hours and be sure to take a look at our new player checklist.Welcome home, we’re so excited to have you join the family!

OOC

name — Beth age — 24 pronouns — She/Her timezone — CST activity level — I currently have literally nothing time consuming going on irl until mid-August. I’m a teacher, so I’m on break until then. After that, I will be restricted, but I’ll have weekends and at least one or two nights a week to do rp replies. I’ll also often be online enough for plotting, even if I’m not actively writing replies that night.

IC Overview

name — Narcissa Malfoy faceclaim — Skylar Samuels, Margot Robbie Samara Weaving age — 30 (Birthday: December 14, 1955) gender — Cis female sexuality — Undefined and unconcerned. As far as most people need to be concerned, Narcissa is attracted purely to her husband. That said, she’s never put much focus on how she feels about other people outside her husband. She’s not opposed to the two of them seeking comfort with other people but she cannot imagine it happening completely outside their marriage. Communication is key to any power couple, in general and in the bedroom, especially if the bedroom isn’t theirs.

patronus —Runespoor. Narcissa couldn’t help chuckling when she saw those three heads. A snake, of course, which a family history in Slytherin should approve of, but also three. Narcissa is the third of three daughters. She watched her family decide they should bite off a head. Andromeda was gone before Narcissa cast her first patronus, although Narcissa would never admit it was a memory of the three of them together that led to her first corporeal form. On the personality end of things, it fits as well. Narcissa is certainly not quick to act, and she tends to spend a lot of time both imagining and criticizing what those choices might lead to. The duality inherent in her patronus feels accurate to the way her mind works (This was according to the Pottermore test, and honestly I agree with it so much.)

boggart — Narcissa’s boggart is Draco as a baby lying there with gasps and whimpers as he slowly turns blue and loses air. It’s not just about her son dying but rather seeing him fading as Narcissa stands unable to do anything to save him. She has never been able to banish a boggart at this stage. Eventually after her baby has “died,” the boggart shifts between people like Lucius and Bellatrix screaming at her that she’s a failure and a betrayal. She can’t banish the boggart at that point either. Narcissa’s biggest fear is in many ways her world crumbling around her with no way to stop in and blame pointed squarely at her for being unable to fix the situation. A good pureblood wife holds her family together. Narcissa is terrified she won’t be able to do the same.

IC In Depth

personality traits —

After a life time of learning to think about legacy above all else, Narcissa has become incredibly pragmatic. She looks at each situation for how to problem solve, rather than taking the time to consider her own emotions. Some might consider Narcissa repressed, but she would prefer to think of herself as quiet and complex. There is a lot going on under the surface, even to the point that she is an over-analyzer if she doesn’t immediately know how to act. She is not rash, nor does she let her emotions get the best of her often. She can be short-tempered when pushed, but Narcissa has spent years learning to hold back. Above all in public, she is polite, although she can come off as cold to people who don’t know her well. She would prefer that, though, to people knowing too much about her opinion. Narcissa firmly believes it is better for others to see her as distant and aloof if it means staying adaptive in a changing situation, as she has had to do socially.

character biography —

Narcissa Elladora Black was born the youngest of the Black sisters. She was the finishing touch in a trio of wonderful daughter, even if her parents would forever mourn their lack of sons. From her position as the youngest, Narcissa grew up even more spoiled than her two older sisters, but it was always clear to her what her duties were. Like her sisters, Narcissa knew it would be her job someday to marry well to a pureblood husband with a strong family name, and it would be her duty to uphold that family and produce heirs to continue her husband’s family line—a line which would naturally be hers then. The Black family are full of tradition and self-ties, but practicality was important above all else. While Narcissa did hope that within a few generations, her children could be tied back to that proud family name, she wasn’t silly enough to think that her family now would come above her husband.

She hadn’t expected that truth to be thrown in her face in such an ugly way as Andromeda took the first opportunity to muddy herself. Narcissa would never admit it later, but she did send a letter to Andromeda begging her to come back. A baby could be dealt with or left with the father. It wouldn’t make her the most desirable, but surely there would still be a pureblood husband for her to take on. Andromeda never responded. The whole experience was really the first time in her life that Narcissa had ever had fantastical version of the world shattered. Things weren’t perfect and couldn’t always be fixed. A strong family name could be sullied in an instance. Before Narcissa even had that husband’s legacy to protect, she was having to choose it over family.

When Lucius Malfoy began to court her, Narcissa was delighted. Here was a man who cared about appearances, both his own and his family’s. He was not the cold unfeeling man she’d been mentally preparing herself for. He was warm and delightful, and if Narcissa was willing to experience her wedding bed with him before she had a ring, well, that was nobody’s business but their own. Narcissa sparkled as a bride and shined as a new wife. She had only one issue. Narcissa seemed unable to carry children to term. After three miscarriages—Omega, nine weeks, Lysandra, twenty-six weeks, and Orane, thirteen weeks—Narcissa began to fear she would never carry a child to term. When she became pregnant a fourth time, Narcissa spent the better part of a year treating herself as delicately as possible and accepting weekly visits from a trusted healer. She couldn’t lose another baby. She wasn’t sure she could handle naming a fourth child that she never got to properly hold.

Then all Narcissa’s wishes upon magic were answered on June 5, 1980 with a beautiful baby, only four weeks early and there to fight. Despite her initial worries that their miracle would be snatched away, Draco thrived. They didn’t know he was Draco then, of course. They mistook their baby for a girl based on what information they had to go on then and named her accordingly. It was only a few years later when they understood what their five-year-old had to tell them that Lucius and Narcissa changed tactics. Narcissa and her child sat down together to talk through constellations and possible names associated with them. She’d been named for mythology—a concession her father had made on Daughter #3 to Rosier preferences—but Narcissa wanted her son to better fit what she considered the proudest part of his family history. Once Draco had decided upon his name, Lucius immediately announced him properly in The Prophet. The Malfoys never looked back, and they had no time for anyone who did.

Prior to that realization, Narcissa had lived with a certain level of constant dread. They had a beautiful, perfect child who would always be enough in Narcissa’s eyes, but she couldn’t help hearing her mother’s voice in her ear, grooming her from a young age to know that part of her duty as a pureblood wife was to carry on the Malfoy line. Could she and Lucius settle for one perfect child if that child would one day lost the family name? Her parents had stopped, but that had been after three children and with other male Blacks to potentially pass on the family name, which Orion eventually did. Especially in a time where family name and heritage meant everything, Narcissa wasn’t sure she could justify stopping without a proper heir. Then again, she never wanted her baby to feel like not enough. Her own parents had never explicitly guilted the three girls, but it was a known fact of life. Narcissa didn’t want that for her baby. Once Draco’s voice could be heard, it shocked her not because it meant the hard decisions were made—although that certainly helped—but rather because Draco was once again perfect, as he always was. Narcissa would have loved him and supported his choice in any situation, but as it was, she only added another reason her child was the greatest blessing she could have received.

But motherhood was not all Narcissa’s life focused on. Lucius had been recruited in many ways to join the Dark Lord’s ranks, and it was a great honor. Narcissa would have preferred neutrality as a self-preservation mechanism, but she did believe in those ideals and could appreciate what the Dark Lord was trying to do. She herself never joined, but she did support Lucius’ choice and often acted according to the Dark Lord’s whims. When he fell, it was a great shock to her system, but Narcissa couldn’t take the time to figure out how to feel about his loss. She had to keep her husband out of prison and their family reputation high. They were no longer servants to anyone but each other, and Narcissa scrambled to fix their situation.

It took a few years before she felt trusted. That time was full of swallowing her thoughts and smiling nicely, but the same had been true among the Death Eaters. She was simply swallowing a different kind of thought. The Malfoy family had always held power, and the same could be said of the Black family. Bellatrix and her husband had fallen from grace, but Narcissa needed to do as she’d always been taught and put Lucius’ family name above her own family blood. If that meant reaching out to a sister who she’d long above mentally severed, fine. Narcissa would do it. She and Andromeda would never truly be what they’d been, and Narcissa couldn’t look at her niece without mourning her bloodline and lack of title. Still, they were rebuilding. Slowly change for the better had happened.

Now Narcissa doesn’t know what to do. The Dark Lord’s return threatens all of the work she’s been doing. She still believes in purity and the ideas he’d promised, but she still doesn’t like the methods he’d stood for. She likes her husband free and isn’t sure a return to the Death Eaters’ full power will allow that.

plot ideas — Perhaps Narcissa (and occasionally Lucius) host regular tea events, maybe once a month. After Voldemort’s downfall, they started curating a little more charity into their guest lists. Now with rumors of his return, it’s a careful balance of the traditional gust list one month and their pity invites the next.

extra —

Headcanon: Narcissa cannot go to sleep without signing Draco a lullaby. Her night feels incomplete. On nights when Lucius puts him to bed, she sneaks in after to sing for his dreams. Now that he’s getting older, she’s terrified for the day he decides he’s too old for her to sing.

Headcanon: Narcissa doesn’t technically have a job, but her proficiency in charms, herbology, and potions could have made her a healer. While she knows only the basics of that profession, she does keep a lush garden and greenhouse. She also enjoys potion making and often makes at home things that other purebloods might buy. She would never lower herself as to sell them because her station is so much above something so ordinary, but that doesn’t mean she won’t give them to friends or occasionally use her own potions as a bartering chip.

Headcanon: Narcissa has always felt quite at home on a broom. In some ways, she was relieved the first time she played Quidditch and hated it because it didn’t fit the image she was trying to curate. Flying, though, is something she could never give up for image.

Pinterest board: https://www.pinterest.com/myrpboards/narcissa-malfoy/

[sippin-on-red-wine]

No. 6 Collaborations Project: A review!

It’s been a week since this fabulous album has dropped into our hands. Click “Keep reading to hear my thoughts on each track!

Track 1. Beautiful People Khalid ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You look stunning dear/So don’t ask that question here

Thoughts/Reflection: Ed keeps referring to this song as ‘cozy’ and I completely agree. The vibe is cool. I love the tone of his voice here and I think it meshes really nicely with Khalid’s. The content isn’t super relatable, but I think we can all take something away from this one. It’s a good note on self-awareness and being able to see the reality in things that may look glamorous on the surface. 

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Track 2. South of the Border feat. Camila Cabello, Cardi B ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So join me in this bed that I’m in/Push up on me and sweat darlin’/So I’m gonna put my time in/Won’t stop until the angels sing

Thoughts/Reflection: This track is literally freaking scorching hot fire. TBH I’m surprised that they led the album with IDC and not this one. It feels like big radio potential to me. Regardless, this song is an absolute BOP - so catchy and so fucking sexy. 

I know Ed’s Spanish leaves something to be desired ☺ But I feel like we can cut him some slack after singing (yet another) song dedicated to going down on a woman. The ginger is forgiven! Five stars for him! And I’m going to have SOTB on repeat all summer (or for the rest of my life).

Oh, I also really like Cardi on this song. IDK if she’s problematic or w/e, I don’t really follow her in the media at all. But her verse is fun. (I think Ed got a lil jungle fever AY) bahahahah

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Track 3. Cross Me feat. Chance the Rapper, PnB Rock ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Know she gonna slide anytime you bitches talk shit/Keep a lil blade in her fuckin’ lip gloss kit 

Thoughts/Reflection: Love love love LOVE this one. It just makes you want to get up and DANCE the damn thing! I have to laugh a little at the thought of Ed being hard & tough, lol, but it’s a cool concept nonetheless. Like he said in his Charlemagne interview, it’s kind of a love song…. but a different tempo. It’s catchy as all hell and Chance’s verse is fucking cool. 

Full points. 

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Track 4. Take Me Back to London feat. Stormzy ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Coz you can win BRITS (it don’t stop)/And you can do Glasto (headline slot)

Thoughts/Reflection: Fuck. This song, though. IIt’s the first one that jumped out at me when I did my first full album listen. And I haven’t stopped listening since. The chorus is so syncopated. Stormzy is sick on this track, I love his voice so much. And it just feels like the two of them really play off each other nicely and probably had a blast making this song. 

Also, Ed flexing “Grossed half a billi on the Divide tour/No I’m not kidding what would I lie for” is BDE and I’m personally really here for it.

This song is a banger and you should dance in your kitchen to it while baking pastries. FIve stars for you, Big Mike and Teddy.

(Dear God please let Stormzy guest live in Ipswich)

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Track 5. Best Part of Me feat. YEBBA ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: it’s not a lyric but that part when Ed & YEBBA are harmonizing perfectly in the whoooaaAAaaaA 

Thoughts/Reflection: I love the sound on this song! His voice is so raw and tender here. It reminds me of Plus era, but grown up. I think it may be how delicately he approaches the syllables in his verse and the chorus. YEBBA’s tone is super rich and lovely, and they sound great together.

I’m taking a “star” off here because I don’t love the lyrics. I get that he’s being vulnerable and showing insecurities in verse 1, but then YEBBA follows that up with lamenting about misplacing things and being late for the train? It doesn’t seem to match up with admitting physical/bodily insecurities. Also, it could just be that I hate that Ed thinks of himself this way.

DUDE IS HOT AF

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Track 6. I Don’t Care feat. Justin Bieber ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: I don’t like nobody but you/I hate everyone here

Thoughts/Reflection: Oh god. When did this song come out? I’m trying to think back to my first impressions of it, LOL. It’s bright and poppy and of course it went and stayed #1 all summer (thus far). I remember thinking it was so cool that the melody is super mainstream and upbeat, but the underlying theme is around social anxiety. “Crippled with anxiety/But I’m told I’m where I’m sposed to be” 

I mostly skip this one now that the full album is out, but I think I listened to it for a full 48 hours on repeat when it first dropped. Bieber is problematic and shit, and honestly I don’t think he adds much to the song. I really like Ed’s acoustic version where he does the whole thing solo.

The bridge slaps. Literally. I love that clapping bit behind it. I wish that Ed hadn’t fucked up the lyrics to the bridge in the acoustic version lolololol

Four stars, will bop along for many moons to come

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Track 7. Antisocial feat. Travis Scott ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So antisocial but I don’t care/Don’t give a damn I’m gonna smoke here/Got a bottle in my hand bring more tho

Thoughts/Reflection: DID YOU SEE HIM GUEST AT TRAVIS’ SHOW LAST NIGHT? This song was already one of my faves but holy shit. In interviews, Ed talks a lot about feeling awkward on stage without a guitar - but it didn’t look like that last night. He was bouncy as all hell, sounded great, looked great. Looked like he was loving the crowd’s energy too.

And the music video? That deserves a post all on it’s own.

This track is pretty short but it’s packed with good stuff. Ed’s intro is really strong here, the chorus is interesting despite the repetition. I physically can’t help but groove along to this tune. I’m sorry. I have no say in the matter

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Track 8. Remember the Name feat. Eminem, 50 Cent ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: 20 years old is when I came in the game/And now it's eight years on and you remember the name/And if you thought I was good, well, then I'm better today

Thoughts/Reflection: YES. YES. YES.  The song intros with a reference to Ipswich, bitch. I love how Ed makes those connections back to his upbringing.

It’s a little unreal that these three iconic voices/styles can flow so well on a song and still sound so balanced. 

I’ve got this one on repeat too. I’m determined to learn all of the words damnit!!

Five stars for a tune that I would love to see performed live someday.

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Track 9. Feels feat. Young Thug, J Hus ★★★

Favorite Lyric: See you wigglin’, jigglin/If I have a bite will it taste like cinnamon?

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is fine. I like the feature verses. The song just doesn’t stick out that much for me.

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Track 10. Put It All on Me feat. Ella Mai ★★★

Favorite Lyric: I try to be strong but I got demons/So can I lean on you?/I need a strong heart and a soft touch

Thoughts/Reflection: Falsetto. Falsetto everywhere. I love that! Ella Mai’s voice is so rich. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot more to say on this one. It’s not a song I’m playing on repeat, but I don’t skip it either.

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Track 11. Nothing On You feat. Paulo Londra, Dave ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You and I/Whisky on ice/Maybe later we can turn down all the lights

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is SEXY and cool…. ‘smoke clouds and the scent of perfume’.... the imagery. Man. More falsetto here. Also, please go look up the translation of Paulo Londra’s verse. Thanks. I’m sweating. Is it hot in here? This album is *sexual* 

ALSO THE ‘BRRRP’ AFTER “they keep ringing my phone”  bahahahahah 

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Track 12. I Don’t Want Your Money feat. H.E.R. ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I need you here for the good times and the bad times/Yeah the pullin’ out my hair gettin’ mad times/Not just the when I’m in your bed on my back times

Thoughts/Reflection: THIS IS SUCH A GODDAMN TUUUUNEEEEEE!!!!!!! I love this song so much. 10/10 jamming out to this in the car at every opportunity. Finger snappin’ cool r&b vibe. I love the super quick tempo (but not quite rap?) in Ed’s verses. And I always appreciate the little double-meaning-references in Ed’s songs - like ‘diamonds, silver or gold’ means $$$ of course, but also just success in terms of album sales performance.

TBH when I saw the title on Ed’s tracklist reveal, I totally thought this would be a slow mushy love song about how Ed’s lucky to have found someone who wasn’t into him for his money. This was a pleasant surprise!! I love that it’s a little angsty.

Five STARS bitch I love this song and y’all are sleeping on it

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Track 13. 1000 Nights feat. Meek Mill, A Boogie Wit da Hoodie ★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Birds eye view/Pay my dues/For a two-mile queue

Thoughts/Reflection: i been ON for a thousAND NIGHTSSSSS NEW YORK TO LONDONNN DIFFERENT CITY EVERY DAYAYYY

1000 Nights: a flexy bop and I love it

This song is about the Divide tour which has been going for approximately 572 years. Not that I’m complaining.

But it’s cool (how many times have I said ‘cool’ in this post? don’t answer that). Ed loves touring and that comes out in this song. And Meek’s verse is so fun to rap along to!

Four stars.

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Track 14. Way To Break My Heart feat. Skrillex ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I can’t stop thinkin’ bout her/And her lips on mine, so soft/Feelings I don’t know the name of

Thoughts/Reflection: biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.

This song is NOSTALGIC and I simply adore it. It has that same… “cozy” feel that Beautiful People does. Which is strange, considering it’s a song about heartbreak. But it’s just so. Soft. And warm. 

We’re back to super soft placement of words and such pure tone. 

It’s hauntingly beautiful. And yet uptempo! Bless, Skrillex. I especially love the drums that come in during the chorus, after “you’re still gone, and i’ll say”

PS, the soft sound of mouth smacking at :13. Use headphones.

Some of my favorite Ed songs are ones about heartbreak, and I appreciate that he included one here. About an imaginary heartbreak 👀

Take another five stars from me, bud

- Track 15. BLOW feat. Chris Stapleton, Bruno Mars ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Hot damn/Pop it like a pistol mama/You got me down on my knees/Baby please?

Thoughts/Reflection: *laughing nervously*

Again, definitely not what I expected out of this track when the titles were all revealed. I LOVED release day on this one. The world collectively lost their shit. I need nothing more in this world than to see this song performed live, especially with a full band and Ed on an electric guitar. 

I’m still not over this loud, full, energetic song full of men bellowing about wanting to, well, fuck.

Bye

(five stars from me and also my 62 year old coworker Jan)

:::OVERALL:::

This album is SO GOOD MATE and I already cannot wait until the next collabs project! Ed blessed us with 15 amazing tracks to tide us over until Subtract comes out. They’re so different from his normal album stuff and I really love to see him try new sounds and get to create/collaborate with artists he admires so much.

it also has me real hot and bothered lmao

Thanks for coming to my tEd talk.