revasnaslan

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"Your cleavage is distracting"

Uhhh okay you're welcome????

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So happy to finally share my piece for the Down by the River artbook zine!

Print Available Here

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i’m spending today thinking about how saber toothed cats ALSO probably had a potato form.  how they also had a stage where they were fat little babies with very triangle tails and tiny squeaky voices.  how they also probably play wrestled and failed badly at calculating jumps.

i’m going to fistfight god for killing them off before i could personally see fat potato saber kittens

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omfg i went snooping and yalll. im.

i think that caitvi kinktober thing shifted to a new blog name. calling it nsfw month now

and im looking at the rules and this change and im CACKLING

THEY LITERALLY TOOK THE KINK OUT OF KINKTOBER AKFKFGKGKHK

moved it to november. this is so fuckin funny to me

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give me 10 years and maybe I'll finish a thing or two

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ive been reading garbage romantasy lately and it's truly truly awful but i've figured out a huge symptom of fantasy worlds that i know i won't like: i cannot imagine old women or children existing in them.

everyone is late teens-early thirties. these are worlds flattened in their demographics to the coveting of sexually available youth. there are no mothers with young children, no sons caring for older mothers, no elderly people who aren't evil and no children that aren't cardboard cutouts instead of developing people.

i knowww this is a symptom of me not being the target audience for this, and i understand that people don't come to these books for complex worlds but for erotica and romance, i know! so this is my caveat before i rant more that i'm not being super serious i'm just discussing something i've noticed i appreciate in more complex worlds

it especially stings in medieval fantasy (and by that i mean largely Western medieval fantasy) settings. it reeks of an inability or refusal to conceptualize a society and communities (or lack thereof) isolated from modern capitalist ideals, particularly the nuclear family. you don't know the kind of labor elderly women did to keep the world running in the premodern era.

who taught your nondescript background serfs to embroider the belts they're wearing? who made their 'roughspun tunics?' who weaved their blankets? who cares for the children while the parents are working in the fields? who brews their ale? who passes on their stories, medical knowledge, songs? why aren't there any older women in your clergy, helping manage your estates, present in your royal court? who are your midwives? who does your teenaged protagonist learn from and look up to?

beyond that, how do you treat your old women? are they all evil witches, all tradition-obsessed backward fossils, all smothering female relatives, all background extras? are they and their bodies cheap punchlines and jumpscares? where do your women go when they're too old for you to imagine them with sexual appetites and complex personalities beyond grandmothers and jealous evil hags?

children exist as infants or late teens only, ironing out the uncomfortable ugly years of a person becoming a person, teens without acne and without social awkwardness and fully developed in their competencies and personalities without the difficult part of growing up and learning included. babies are allowed because they're cute, they're basically props, a goalpost for the main romance of the book to satisfy heteropatriarchal expectations of couples instead of the main characters subverting any expectations. not to mention that most of these protagonists i can't imagine being 12, 13 years old. they sprung up fully formed at 19 before being whisked away by a love interest so overtly sexual he circles around to being sexless and utterly unappealing.

don't get me STARTED on how i hate seeing characters propping up relationships of main characters instead of being complex on their own.

this post is about ACOTAR.

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What does your OC lie about?

What's a moment your OC is ashamed to remember?

Taken from this list.

For my girl Julian then 💜

What does your OC lie about?

Julian lies by omission more than she does so outright, and she won’t correct assumptions people make about her if they happen to benefit her. For instance, she’s a pretty small woman and isn’t overly imposing, so people have a tendency to assume she isn’t very dangerous.

Her most major lie by omission, I think, is that she was resurrected in 1488 DR, exactly 120 years after she died, and that she was resurrected as an aasimar when she was a human in her first life. The series of events leading up to her death (religious persecution, attempted forced conversion, feeling the death of her god and subsequently no longer being able to hear Him, watching her beloved father figure slowly wear away from the pressure of it all, among other things) are very painful for her to remember, and so she does not like talking about it at all. It basically has to be forced out of her.

That said, the only time I could see her outright lie is to spare the feelings of someone she cares about. And even then, how she’s likely to go about it is skirting around the actual issue and speak in half-truths.

What's a moment your OC is ashamed to remember?

Julian doesn’t feel shame very often, but when she does it has a tendency to fester. She’ll work herself into knots, coming to conclusions that would not make sense if she actually thought about it for more than five seconds.

Like, in campaign canon, she is the one who fired the shot that drastically altered the storyline for us, leading to two party members being forcibly converted, just as she had always feared she would be. To be completely fair to her, she was told to do this by Vienna, and it was a highly stressful situation where quite a lot was on the line. Like that could have easily been the end of the campaign for us. I think her feelings were exacerbated by the Cyrinishad and everything surrounding it being extremely triggering to her, as someone who was being threatened with conversion for close to a decade by Cyricists, and that she feels as though Bane has entrusted this mission to her and that she almost failed in doing so. Luckily, Bane and Vaal were there to help in the reassurance department, though I think now that Vienna and Malachai are back, she’ll be able to fully move past it.

In Black Hands Clasped canon, however, one of her biggest sources of shame is the reason that au is going to need to have a meteoric slowburn tag on it. Since I haven’t really spoken about this au at all outside of discord dms, the tl;dr for this au is that she was sent to Baldur’s Gate in 1489 DR, shortly after her resurrection, in order to aid Enver Gortash in his plans, both with regards to the Absolute plot and also to help strengthen Enver’s connection to Bane since he is both spiritually deaf (not a traditional priest of Bane as an artificer, rather than a cleric, so he struggles to hear Bane or notices signs of His guidance) and because he is entirely self-taught and could use the guidance of someone who had more traditional liturgical knowledge than he does. However, the Banites in the Gate are Dead Three which is a branch of Banism that Julian had never interacted with before, the city is not safe for them to worship openly like Banites can in the Moonsea, and Enver is still getting his feet under him as Chosen since he has only been at it for maybe eighteen months when she arrives while she knew Fzoul when he had been in place for over a century.

So, when her expectations are shattered, Julian ends up taking all of that grief, loneliness, and homesickness out on Enver, and he in turn (and quite understandably) acts like a cornered animal in response because her behavior reminds him quite starkly of his past abusers, particularly his mother. It takes Julian nearly a month to realize she was being completely unfair, and then two months after that for Julian to coax him back to trusting her not unlike one coaxes a scared feral cat into accepting pets. The shame, however, persists, and it is a major factor in why she does not admit her feelings for him for three years after realizing she has them. She works herself into knots, convinces herself that Bane will have work for her elsewhere once she has helped Enver achieve his goals, and anything they had would feel like a fling. Now, Bane has no intentions of doing that, but she’s convinced herself it’s true, so y’know alas. Woe, three years of pining be upon ye.

[points at her] stupid (affectionate)

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unsavory details and opinions (both to Tumblr and to her peer group), unconscious biases, and uncharitable takes about you for Julian?

- Shadow

Taken from this ask meme list.

What's an unsavory detail about your OC or opinion they have (to a modern Tumblr audience)?

I mean, she’s a Banite, one who is so zealous that there is no looming crisis of faith, only her clinging so closely to her god that not even his death could sway her loyalty. She is quite happy to be where she is. This, of course, means that she has no issues with things like murder, torture, and the overthrow of governments, as long as it isn’t done against those she considers her people. I could see people finding that just a touch unsavory…

My jokey answer, just based on how a lot of fanfic chooses to portray female protagonists, is that I could see people taking issue with her being perfectly content to play support to others, seemingly without having ambitions of her own, especially since every single character that she’s been set opposite to in that regard is a man. She does not aspire to be a high priest, but she does aspire to support one. Her reasoning for it could definitely be taken as unsavory, though, since it is directly tied to Banism—a major tenet of the Chembryn branch of Banism is “service to tyranny”, which essentially means backing the person you wish to see in power.

What's an unsavory detail about your OC or opinion they have (to their peer group)?

Banism again. Like in the campaign proper, it is way less of an issue because Banism is one of the major religions around the Moonsea. She is literally among peers who on her same wavelength. But in an au like BHC, her being outed as a Banite could quite literally destroy her public image.

Also, I won’t lie, I think the gang is kind of done with how she has a tendency to withhold information unless she’s deemed it important enough to share. She is also quite mean and dismissive as her default.

What unconscious biases or expectations does your OC have regarding other genders, races or sexualities?

I don’t think she has many to be honest. With regards to gender and sexuality, it is not her business, and the most pushback you’d get from her is if she thinks sex is causing distraction from what she perceives to be your duties. She dislikes people from the Dalelands, but this is mostly because they dislike her and other Damarans.

Her most unconscious biases take the form of religious ones. While she would, technically, be considered a polytheist since she acknowledges the existence of other gods within the Forgotten Realms, she only worships Bane. He is the only god that matters to her. As such she loathes Mystrans and Cyricists on principal, expects Tormish to be uppity goody-goods who aren’t allowed to have fun. I think she does have opinions on the Seldarine as well, since she was raised by an elf who is a former worshipper of them, and her opinion is thus: “They are terrible and Andri was correct to serve another.”

As for Banites, she expects them to behave in a certain way, which is almost entirely built upon being brought up within the Chembryn church and personally raised by her sect’s high priest. A Chembryn Banite is meant to have a tight handle on their emotions, take their ambitions slowly and methodically. They are warrior priests who know scripture, honing themselves into bludgeons who can serve their church and god. She is very confused when she meets Banites who don’t behave this way, and she can get quite judgy as a result.

What uncharitable takes would your OC have about you if they met you?

She’s a lot more confident than I am in the face of confrontation so… make of that what you will I guess.

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Ugly OC Asks

Let's get messy 🔥

Questions compiled with @monocytogenes. Reblog with your OCs tagged and enjoy the crunch!

(I'm not numbering these so people have to copy the questions into the ask box.)

😈😈😈😈

What is your OC petty about?

When's the last time your OC hurt someone emotionally? What did they do?

What's an unsavory detail about your OC or opinion they have (to a modern Tumblr audience)?

What's an unsavory detail about your OC or opinion they have (to their peer group)?

What does your OC's love interest dislike about them?

Is your OC ever wrong? Big ways? Small ways? About what?

What does your OC lie about?

In what way(s) is your OC bad at life?

What's the fatal flaw in your OC's relationship(s)? What could destroy those relationships?

What fills your OC with envy? Alternatively who does your OC envy and why?

What physical trait(s) is your OC insecure about?

What personality trait(s) or habit(s) is your OC insecure about?

What's a moment your OC is ashamed to remember?

What's your OC's biggest fuck up?

What unconscious biases or expectations does your OC have regarding other genders, races or sexualities?

What skill does your OC need to work on improving?

What uncharitable takes would your OC have about you if they met you?

What's the longest grudge your OC has ever held? Against whom and why?

In what way is your OC worse than you?

Have there been any horrible consequences to well-intentioned choices your OC made? How did they cope with that?

Who hates your OC? Why?

What do your OC and their LI fight about?

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POV ur 10 huhs deep trying to understand the astral prism heist idk

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love going "a friend of mine" irl and it's a tumblr mutual

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I could be at home right now writing

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a scene must be included PRIOR to sex where the characters READ their birth certificates OUT LOUD so the reader will know they were born on the SAME DATE to avoid any disgusting AGE GAPS