#h with a stress marker is :(

[kelasian]

gonna start typing pˊ instead of :) and nobody is gonna understand what the fuck im doing (p with a stress marker in the sorkish script looks like a smiley face)

[secretsimpleness]

But I just want to explore the world... Jamandi Aldori, the (to be) Baroness, Amiri, Jaethal, etc / Pathfinder Kingmaker (c) Owlcat Games

[nerice]

every single time i send out the pdf im terrified im actually linking like. the rough draft from 2018 or some shit ahsnsjdnf

[brain-n-body-in-disarray]

What the h*ll is "basic hygiene" anyway?

If you're like me, you've been struggling with hygiene for a long time. I'm neurodivergent, I have chronic fatigue and chronic pain, so yeah, it's been hard, my whole life.

Here's a few tips that helped me or some of my friends.

1. Redefine "basic hygiene"

No, really. Redefine it. Neurotypical and able-bodied people will tell you all can of things about what is "basic" hygiene.

The rule is: do what you can. That's it. The rest of the post will be tips to increase what you can do. But in the meantime, just do your best. You're fantastic the way you are.

2. Time

There's two thing here.

The first is: find the right time for you. It's not always easy, because we often have obligations, and we're supposed to be clean at those right moments. It's not easy. Sometimes it "helps" because it gives us that "boost" we needed to start getting clean, but most of the time it's just stressful. So instead find the moment that works best for you. I know there's moments in the day when it'll be easier for me to start tasks that I would struggle with at an other time, but I prioritise other things instead for a reason or another. Try washing yourself then, even if people will tell you it's strange to have a shower at three pm. Who cares.

The second is: divide to conquer. You don't have to wash ALL the parts of your body at once. You don't necessarily have the energy for it and it's okay. Also it can feel daunting to face that long list of steps. A body has a LOT of parts to wash and clean. Really, that's scary and exhausting. So the solution might be to do smaller things here and there. Do what you can when you can, that's okay. At least you've done something, that's great!

You are also allowed to take breaks in the middle. It can help if you are tired, or if it makes you anxious.

3. Wipes.

I personally hate washing with soap and water, whether it's a bath, shower or just at the sink. It takes time, it's a lot of steps, and it feels horrible. I do it when I can, but I don't enjoy it. The partial solution is wipes.

Baby wipes are great, they're soft, some smell good but faint, some has no odor. You can clean yourself quickly without rinsing. And they don't let that terrible feeling on your skin.

There's wipes made for your private parts. Which is an important part to clean. Also wet toilet paper is good. (For private parts wipes, buy the organic ones, you don't want anything too harsh there)

Make-up removal wipes are not just to remove make-up. They do clean you face.

Don't use antibacterial wipes though. At least not regularly. They are too harsh for your skin, you'll just damage it. Also too much antibacterial stuffs just make bacterias more resistant.

Bonus point: wipes can easily be carried in a bag. Handy.

4. Charts and lists and apps.

Whether you forget to do it or it you have done it already, or you can't get motivated, or you can't manage to start washing, or there's so many steps you get overwhelmed, or you start but can't remember what to do next, etc., those tips might help.

There's apps like Habitica (it's the most well known but there's others) that help you building habits and remembering to do stuffs and making it fun (help with rewards). It's about general tasks but can be applied to washing. A friend also told me there's a pokemon app to brush your teeth but I haven't tried it.

If you get overwhelmed by the steps and get lost in the middle, making a list of those steps, laminating and putting it in the bathroom near the sink or in the shower can help you keeping tracks. You can even put a dry erase marker near the list to check what have already be done.

5. The "bath buddy"

If you live with someone, you can ask their help.

I'm not saying they have to wash you. Or maybe I am? A friend takes his showers with his boyfriend to help getting motivated.

It can just be your platonic roommate behind the door talking to you, telling you funny stories.

Having company can help start the task and make it more enjoyable which help in itself but also make it less daunting the next times. Having a bath buddy also helps if you get lost in the middle of a task, they can tell you what the next step is. They can also keep you on tracks and in the present (I know I tend to dissociate a lot in the bathroom). And they keep your mind off the bad stuffs (body dysphoria for example, or sensory discomfort)

6. You're never too old for "kids' stuffs"

Because you're never to old for fun stuffs.

No, really, there's no reason why you should deprive yourself of something that would make washing more fun.

Wash your teeth with bubblegum flavored toothpaste.

Play with bathtoys. Buy those little plastic boats and those little squirting animals. (Seriously, the fact that the only fun thing for bath for adult is bubbles is a crime)

The word here is "fun". Make the bathroom fun. Buy a shower curtain with cute elephants playing with water. Put adhesive ducks on the tiles. Make that darn room a place you want to be in, not just to distract you from the bad stuff but to enjoy your life.

7. Teeth. Oh no, the teeth.

First thing: as I said, you don't have to use that "adult toothpaste". The menthol contained in it can be sensory hell. You can use kid toothpaste, it cleans just as well. If you can't use any toothpaste try brushing without it with just water. You can also try toothpaste tablets (you chew on them and then brush). You can try mouthwash. You can try oil-pulling. The point here is to remove some bacteria from your mouth.

About brushing. There's different hardness in toothbrushes. If you're using hard, try medium. If you're using medium, try soft. If you're using soft, try baby toothbrush. If no toothbrush works for you, try a wet cloth, or your finger. Try using toothpicks to remove the remains of food and then use mouthwash.

If the storebought mouthwash doesn't do with you, make it yourself. There's recipes online with essential oils (optional, but maybe there's one you might like), baking soda and water. (I don't recommend using lemon juice, it might damage your enamel.)

My friend just told me I should mention dental floss. I personally hate it, but it might be useful to some of you. It's probably more effective than toothpicks. They also comes mounted on these little plastic sticks if you struggle with the thread alone.

8. Chair

No, really, you have the right to sit down during washing. Buy a shower chair. Put a bench on your bathtub instead of struggling to stand up. Put a chair in front of the sink to sit when you brush your teeth.

You don't have to be physically disabled to use a chair to wash. And if you're disabled there's still no shame. Standing up can be boring, it can be painful, it can be tiring. So sit. You are allowed.

And if you prefer standing, do. You can pace. You can dance. You can do gymnastics. (Just be careful if you're brushing your teeth, okay. Or if you're in the shower. Don't hurt yourself.)

9. Music

If you don't have a buddy to talk to you, music or even podcasts, anything to listen to, can be a nice way to help. They makes the experience more enjoyable. They keeps your head away from the bad sensory experience or the awareness of your own body.

I also find using the same playlist useful to keep track of the time I've been spending in the shower. I even time the steps on the tracklist, I know I washed that part of my body for long enough if that song is over, I need to do the next step.

Also, for me me music is part of the ritual. It helps me to get in the right mind, it motivates me, it makes the routine.

10. Multi-purpose products.

I've seen all those beauty posts about "layering". It's nice if you have the energy and the time, but no, it's not for me.

I hate moisturising creams. I really do. They smells funny, they feels gross and sticky, and it takes forever to apply. It's an unnecessary step for me. But I have dry skin (at least on my body). The easy solution is to use surgras soap or surgras shower gel. (Not just the "moisturising" soap, that won't hydrate as well.)

I don't just remove the unpleasant experience of moisturiser, I remove a step. I save energy.

Also, multi-purpose products help with organisation, there's less things to think about. There's less risk of taking the wrong bottle because you're too headfogged. Less chance of chaos in the bathroom.

I personally can't do that for everything. I'd like to have one soap for everything, but my body skin and my face skin and my private parts and my hair all need different stuffs. But I do try to keep things to a minimum, because the number of products can be quickly overwhelming. So try to balance your sensory needs with your organisation problem.

(Also, if like me you hate the feeling of moisturiser, aloe vera gel is great. It is a bit sticky, but in a different way than cream. I personally prefer that one. There's also the option of oil, there's different kinds for different skin types, even for oily skin.)

11. Japaneses know best: the bidet.

This one might sounds strange for some folx. Where I live, bidets used to be extremely common but they are disappearing. We used to have a bidet next to the toilets in our homes. Japanese toilets have a built-in bidet but they are expensive. There is a cheaper (but still not cheap) alternative. You can buy a bidet toilet seat attachment to put on your own toilets.

Why am I telling you about bidet? Because when you struggle to wash regularly, bidets are incredibly useful.

Toilet paper is highly unhygienic. Wet toilet paper is a bit better. Bidets, that spray a jet of water on your privates, clean so much better.

And they are easy and quick to use. You just press a button and you are clean.

If you have a vagina, it's even more important, because it lowers significantly the risks of getting UTI and the likes.

If you can afford it, I recommend it.

12. The hat, or "well, f*ck it"

You can fail to wash in time for whatever obligation you have. That's okay.

Just use the card "camouflage".

Greasy hair? If they are long, brush them and tie them tightly, and put on a fashionable hat. Or you favorite, silly, hat. Or just a random hat that your aunt gave you (you know the one, you wondered for three weeks if you smiled enough when you received the gift because you didn't want to offend her). Scarfs are nice too.

Other idea to hide greasy hair? A wig. They are higher maintenance, but they are good to have for occasions where you have to look a bit better or if you can't wear a hat for whatever reason.

About odors... Well you know the trick of deodorants and perfume. Not what I recommend, at least not alone. For once not everyone can stand their smell. Also, they aren't that great to succeed at masking odors. If you can, use wipes to clean your armpits (also the underbreasts if you have them) and the neck and chest area. It might not remove all the odors but it'll help and with some deodorant if you can stand it, you should be good.

About deodorant: you can use a dollop of moisturiser (yes, I know I said I hate them, but listen), it will help to stop the formation of odors but the fragrance is usually mild or absent. It's also less harsh than the usual deodorant. You only need a small amount for it to work. You just need to clean before (wipes should be enough)

13. Don't stew in your dirty clothes.

Try to change your clothes often even if you don't wash. Especially your underwears.

I know it might sound counterintuitive to wear clean clothes when your skin is dirty, but staying in old clothes is like wearing a petri dish. By keeping the same clothes on you, you also keep the bacterias that live on it and your body.

It's especially bad in some areas, like your private parts, your feet and your armpits.

If you live alone, or if you live with someone who don't care, don't put clothes on at all. You'll just stew in your bacterial crock pot otherwise.

Staying naked also has the upside of reducing the amount of laundry you have to do.

14. Use your strengths.

Sometimes it's as simple as using your other hand because your dominant one is achy.

Sometimes it's listening to a podcast about your special interest.

You're an artist? Put a whiteboard in the shower. Or, I don't know, draw your body, laminate the drawing, and color the parts you have already washed with a dry erase marker.

Your thing is to make lists of animals of Paraguay? Recite them alphabetically and make a song with them while you brush your teeth and wash your face and clip you nails.

Dancers here? Each movement you make is part of a choreography.

15. Aftercare.

Hygiene is immensely stressful and energy consuming. You don't just deserve a reward, you need aftercare.

It's okay to take a nap. It's okay to need to engage with your special interest. It's okay to need a hug. It's okay to want to be alone. It's okay to feel bad too. Have a cry. Be moody. Don't be ashamed of what you feel. Of course it's better if you manage to avoid these emotions. But it's okay if you have them.

And give yourself a little treat. Have a cup of your favorite tea. Put a shiny sticker in your "things I've done good today" diary. Cuddle with your pet. Read the Swedish dictionary.

Drink a glass of water and eat something.

Also, if you have chronic pain, like I do, take your meds. (My joints are always a bit achy after standing too long, or my shoulder are stiff after washing my hair)

Write an essay about why keeping up with your hygiene is a pain.

Do what you want and do what you need.

16. Shame has no place in the bathroom.

If you've read my previous post, you know what I mean.

I've said it in this post, it's okay to struggle, to not be perfect, or as perfect as neurotypicals and able-bodied people say we should be. Their criterias are bullcrap.

Shame won't help you to keep up to these unachievable standards. They'll just undermine you.

Also, it's okay if some of what I've said here seems unachievable also. I shared what helps me and some of my friends, but your needs might be different and that's totally okay. Maybe someone will make a post with tips that'll help more? I hope so.

Anyway, you do what you can and you congratulate yourself for it. Every step is an achievement worth of praise.

[bun-nny-nny]

ORAL FIXATION!! :3

HAVE SOME GHOST SMUT.....i dont write often but when i do pairing: simon "ghost" rileyx reader tw: smut(MDNI), kind mean ghost i guess i like em mean, finger suckin bro, not polished just somethin quick

You worked as the head medic on an army base. Your work as a medic was everything to you. Bright and silent, you usually liked to work alone, which caused Simon " Ghost " Riley to take a liking to you.

Sometimes, you sit together in perfect silence doing your own things, just happy to be next to a like-minded person without the stress of forcing interaction or conversation.

However, there was one problem he had with you….you had a horrible oral fixation. When you worked, you had a habit of chewing the shit out of whatever you were using to write with, pencils, pens, markers… You named it and you probably chewed on it. At times, the sound would irritate the large soldier….and this moment was one of those times.

You both sat together on a couch in the rec room; Ghost sat on the sofa scrolling through his phone with you sat next to him, laying on the couch, your back resting against Ghost's side as you held a clipboard in one hand and a thoroughly chewed apart pencil in the other. The pencil end was almost nonexistent, but that didn't stop you from absentmindedly gnawing on it further like a teething puppy. Each crunch of the pencil made ghosts brows furrow as the sound sucked him out of the distraction that was some silly video on his phone.

Crunch, crunch, crunch…

Until he had had enough of it, swiftly, he moved an arm, quickly taking the pencil from your tiny hands. The sudden loss forced a whimper from your lips, making your face light pink from embarrassment: " H-hey! I was using that!"

Ghost let out a tsk and pocketed the pencil, "not for its intended purpose," he said gruffly, his gaze not moving from his phone as he spoke to you.

You let out a huff, which Ghost thinks is one of the cutest things you could do, before you try to reach over his lap to slip your hand into his pocket. He caught your wrist immediately, his gaze finally leaving his phone to lock with your eyes. Stern honey-brown eyes stare deep into yours, asserting his dominance through a simple gaze.

You huffed again and pulled your hand away, returning to your clipboard. This time, your fingers went to your mouth as you worked. Ghost's gaze turned to you again, watching you chew and gnaw at the small appendages. He watched as bite marks covered your fingers, and with another dissatisfied tsk, he grabbed your wrist, pulling your fingertips from your mouth.

"bloody hell…." he said as his eyes scanned over the growing red teeth marks on your tiny delicate fingers, "can't you sit still and not chew on something for just a day?" he asked, his tone stern yet not unkind.

"can't help it…" you murmur to him, your cheeks flushed a light pink yet again from embarrassment. You felt as if he was somehow shaming you for your compulsion.

The large man stared down at you for a while, studying your flushed cheeks before he sighed as he placed his phone down, moving his now free hand to his mouth, the other still wrapped firmly around your wrist. With a swift motion, he bit the tip of a finger of his skeletal glove and pulled it clean off, letting the fabric fall from his lips and down to his lap. Slowly, he inched his large fingers near your soft lips. "here…" he said, which made you look up at him, a brow raised in confusion.

"You need your fingers for work, don't you, Doc? So use mine to chew on…go ahead before I change my mind." He said as his hand holding your wrist let go. He captured his phone in his grip once more, returning to the video he had been watching. His fingers still pressed softly to your bottom lip.

Without needing further reassurance, you slowly let one of his large fingers into your wet mouth, soft lips wrapping around his calloused pointer finger. Tongue slowly lapped at the tip of his finger as you began to suck softly on it, tasting the saltiness of his skin. Finally satiated, your gaze returned to your papers. As a few minutes went by, your lips slowly descended his pointer finger, taking in more of the digit as you sucked and licked at the flesh within your mouth teeth, softly scraping against his skin as you moved up and down his finger absentmindedly wholly consumed by your work once more.

As your mouth worked on his finger, Ghost's other hand tightened just slightly around his phone, the feeling of your tongue on his digit making his breath hitch just a bit. The pleasurable feeling was a bit unexpected. His hands had never been sensitive before, but something about the way your tongue circled the padded tip and the way you sucked and gnawed so gently made him want to bend you over the sofa.

Suddenly, you let a second finger pass through your plush lips as you flip through your pages, tongue sliding between the two with your mouth slowly swirling its way around them, loving the way the long, thick digits press gently against your tongue. With the sudden sensation, Ghost's breath increased his grip on his phone, tightening the knuckles under the gloved hand going white. The wet noises coming from you as you sucked and nipped at his fingers made his head flood with ideas. he thought about how badly he wanted to shove them down your throat and make you choke on them as he watched tears form in your eyes from the intensity. How he longed to hold you down and fuck your mouth with his fingers till you whine and whimper, begging for mercy.

He shut his eyes as his mind blossomed with thought after thought of your writhing, twitching from under him, crying sweet tears that he'd licked clean off your cheeks.

Your mistake was putting a third finger in your mouth, stretching out those soft lips perfectly as you slobbered over them, unaware of the wet sucking noises you were making. Now these sounds…these sounds were even more annoying (in a different way) than you chewing on those damn pencils, and that third finger was his last damn straw. He let out an annoyed grumble, his fingers quickly slipping from your lips which made you whimper loudly, another sound that went straight to his dick.

Quickly, he stood up, his hand going to the back of your neck and holding on tightly as he leaned down to your ear. Hot breath fanning the nape of your neck, he said, "I think… I got another thing your mouth could play with…it will keep ya nice and busy, dove."

[glade-constellation]

Not Built For This

Sun x Reader

Summary : Sun is having a difficult time, finally cracking under the stress of his job after a run in with a rude parent. You’re there to comfort him.

Trigger Warning(s) : Mentions of abusive/neglectful parent and alcohol, accidental self harm, mention of decommissioning

Rating : T, SFW

Word Count : 2053

Extra : Just a little one-shot I wrote a while ago, sometime in January of this year. I apologize if it’s a little odd. I wrote it when I was having a bad time myself, but I really enjoy how it came out and wanted to share.

“Because I wasn’t built for this!”

Sun threw his hands into the air, bells on his wrist ringing out softly, before he fell to the floor in a ball. You knew he couldn’t cry. Fazbear was at least smart enough to not build their bots with working tear ducts and have them start sparking like a lit firework. But you swore, in that moment, Sun’s eyes glassed over with unshed tears. His shaking frame leaked of such pure anguish you wondered if he’d been built with a human soul. Even covered in stray marker lines and spots of sparkling glitter, he looked so violently drowned in his own emotional pain that you felt it yourself.

“I wasn’t built to do any of this! The ‘daycare attendant’ wasn’t even a role when the Plex was first built! Why do you think we had so many complaints over the years? Why I seem too overbearing or Moon sometimes acts far too frightening for the kids? That’s what we were built for. Performances. Short bursts of dramatic entertainment. Comedy and tragedy. We were theater performers.”

The hiccuping static coming from his voice box was too close to sounding like a cry. His frame creaked and groaned, sounding as if about to combust. Knowing how little maintenance the two of them received, the possibility was too high for your liking. “Sun, honey, I need you to listen-“

“The kids weren’t even supposed to be near us! We were supposed to be up on a stage, only interacting when engaging with the crowd.”

You took a step forward, hands rising as if to reach out to him, “Sun, please, you’re going to hurt-”

A soft crunching sound filled the air. “We’re had to learn all of this ourselves, no help from anyone. Playtime, time outs, kissing the boo-boos away, we’ve had to learn all of it by watching others. People who didn’t even like working here, didn’t like us.”

He didn’t even notice the now dented rays in his hands. “Sunny, please-”

“I try my hardest every day to be the best I can be and do the best I can do with what very limited resources I was given and no one seems to care about anything I do meaning Fazbear hates us and we’re so close to being decommissioned for something we can’t even help-”

“SUN!”

Besides the rattling of his frame, there was finally silence. You stood over his curled body, hands gently but firmly placed on the sides of his face. Even without visible pupils, you could see when his eyes finally focused with yours. With slow movements, you softly began to remove his hands from his now bent rays. “You’re hurting yourself.”

Slowly, hesitantly, he moves his hands with yours. He slides them towards you, reaching but not touching. An unasked request for comfort. As you reach to pull him forward, he grabs your hips and does the same. There’s a moment in the silence when he simply holds you to him. Then the dam finally breaks.

Sun buries his face into your stomach and sobs.

It’s not quiet or soft, full of shaky breaths and muffled whimpers. It’s not like the daycare kids who threw fits with sharp huffs and cries. Sun folds into you and he screams, static scratching through his voice box. It’s loud and aching and broken, so defeated that your own heart couldn’t help but break with him. He grips you like a lifeline as he cries, frame shivering and vibrating so roughly yours afraid he might actually begin to fall apart. A star in threat of collapsing in on itself.

You let him cry. You hold him as he screams and you try not to cry yourself. Your hand moves from his shoulder to one of his rays, gently tracing it in a way you knew calmed him down.

It’s a while before he finally calms down enough to speak coherent words, but what he says only breaks you farther. “I’m sorry,” drops from his mouth, so strained in static you almost can’t make it out, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He repeats it over and over like a mantra. You open your mouth, going to shush him, but freeze as he continues. “Please please please, don’t decommission us, don’t throw us out. I can do this, I can do this, I’m not broken, just a small mishap. Won’t happen again, I can do it, I’m sorry.”

You’re having not of that.

Pull his face away from you, you drop down to your knees. Your gaze is firm as you stare into his eyes. “Sun, you listen to me and you listen to me good. This wasn’t your fault. None of this was. You said it yourself, you weren’t built for this. Nothing about what you do in the daycare is part of a program you or Moon own.”

You stop for a moment, just long enough to cup your hands against the sides of his face. He’s still crying, but he’s listening, and that’s what matters right now. “But you want to know something? That makes what you do in here so fucking brilliant. You care for these kids almost every day, playing with them and cleaning their messes and kissing their hurts away, and you do it so much better than any of the human assistants I’ve seen sulking in here before me. You may not have been built for this but you do it so beautifully that I wouldn’t have known any better unless you or Moon told me. The fact that you had to learn how to do all of this while locked away in here with no help but your own two eyes is frankly far more astounding than Fazbears’ ability to create your AIs. How you haven’t lost it up until now is a fucking wonder.” You shake your head, chuckling.

“But maybe that’s just a testament to you two’s innate ability to love with all your being. When you two commit to loving something, you give yourself away to it. I watch you with those kids all the time and you treat them like a parent would their own children. As a parent should love their children. You spend hours upon hours keeping this daycare in working order without any help, not because you’re programmed to but because you love doing it. That kind of emotion isn’t something you can just replicate. The level of humanity I see in you and Moon far surpasses most of actual humanity that exists on this Earth today.

“If some kid’s abusive bitch of a mother wants to come in and call you a worthless machine because her kid love you far more than her, you take any word that comes out of her mouth with a fucking grain of salt. That’s her problem to work through, not yours. She doesn’t see what you do here. She obviously doesn’t see what you do for her own kid every single day she’s off getting drunk.

“What matters is what those who actually care about you think. The kids love you. Both of you. They were freaking out the day you guys went to maintenance, some actually started crying. Made all those Get Well cards for you two, remember? I highly doubt Fazbear is going to decommission one of their most beloved animatronics from one drunk lady’s comment. They’d have hell to pay.” You bring him forward, just enough to plant a soft kiss on his forehead. “Hell that I would raise for you.”

Sun falls forwards slightly, head hitting your chest as he pulls you close again. He moves you to the side just slightly, throwing a leg under you so you’re no longer resting on your knees. You throw an arm over his shoulder as he begins to rock the both of you, your other hand coming up to the back of his faceplate to hold him. It's another moment before either of you speak.

You can hear Sun mumble something, but whatever was said is buried in the sound of his fans buzzing on overdrive. You hum in question as you trace patterns aimlessly on his shoulder. “Thank you,” he says again, “Moon says it too.” You feel more than see when his rays shrink slightly into his faceplate, “I’m sorry.”

You snort, “Hey, what did I just say? No more of that. It’s okay.”

“It’s really not.” He pulls back from you, eyes looking down instead of towards you. “That was really childish on my part. Parents complain all the time. That shouldn’t have affected me that much.”

You shush him, placing a hand over his mouth despite knowing that wasn’t going to do much. It still had the desired outcome of shutting him up. “Sun, did you listen to anything I just said?” He nodded, and you quickly continued before he started up again. “I didn’t explicitly say it, but everything I just explained can also be used to say that both you and Moon are extremely overworked.” You give a huff as you roll your eyes, “Give an AI sentience and then make them work until the break. Typical Fazbear right there.”

You feel the speaker behind Sun’s faceplate vibrate as he speaks up, “But we were built to work-”

There’s an audible smack as you facepalm. “Oh my god, I spill my guts out trying to calm you down and you listened to none of it,” you groan. You grab his chin to tilt his face towards yours, “Sunny, honey, it doesn’t matter that it was just one parent telling you something you’ve already heard and gotten over before. You may have been built to work tirelessly but you literally just said you weren’t built to handle this kind of work. Plus, I don’t think Fazbear takes into account that they build living beings. Straw on the camel’s back and all that. You and Moon have one too many things going on up in that pretty little head right now. It couldn’t handle the additional yelling and triggered all your pent up emotions. It’s normal. Happens to me too. Don’t apologize for simply being alive.”

You drop your hand as you finish, watching as Sun blinks at you. His rays flex in and out in no particular pattern, something you’ve realized means he’s having an internal conversation. He finally seems to come back into focus after a moment, simply staring before moving a hand to gently cup your cheek. You laugh slightly as his hand covers the right side of your head but lean into it. He looks like he wants to smile, but whatever he’s thinking is obviously weighing on him. “You. . .really see us as people.”

You can't quite tell if it was a statement or a question, but you nod all the same. A confused look crossed your face, “I mean, yeah? You may be made of metal and silicone, and held together by desperation and glitter glue since the mechanics can’t do their job for shit, but that doesn’t change the fact that you have just as much intelligence and emotion as any human. Probably more, not gonna lie. I’ve seen Moon hack into things he really shouldn’t more times than I would like to admit. You have this unbelievable talent to read a person’s body language from across the room and change the mood of the whole room to fit their needs.

“And like I mentioned earlier, you two don’t half ass anything. When you give, you do so with your whole being. Simple machines don’t have things like love and trust. You two are the definition of it.”

You could feel as Sun ran his thumb across your cheek as you spoke. As you looked back up at him, you were greeted with a soft look. Sun’s rays slowly pinwheeled around his head as he smiled at you. His hand moved from the side of your head to the back as he pulled you forward. Your breath caught suddenly, your heart beat suddenly too obvious inside you.

He seemed to second guess himself at the last second, or maybe you had simply read too much into that act. Hugging you close, Sun reciprocated your earlier forehead kiss. “Thank you,” he mumbled softly.

[noffy96]

wrote another Sun/Moon fic again!

Another fic, for the Sun/Moon stories I keep writing. This one a little peek into their relationship before they became an item. This part is gonna be more Angst heavy and chapter 2 will be more Fluff heavy promise

The last straw

Word count: 2,368

Chapter 1/2 ( in progress)

Summary

The switchback was sudden. He landed on the patted floor with a loud thud. Had he been on the wire? With groans and tired squeaks, he felt around his face.

His fingers hurt. One of his lower rays got bent a little in his fall. He looked at his arms more dents and scratches than the last time he was awake.

How long had he been out? The generators should keep Moon from showing up. He stood on wobbly legs as his gyroscope had finally reset itself. And took a look around the daycare.

Or

Sun wakes up after an unknown amount of time. Their body aching, and Moon still spouting hurtful nonsense. The stress, the pain, the insults. It's all becoming a bit too much. Can he still be there for his friend?

--link here to AO3--

or continue below the read more line

The switchback was sudden. He landed on the patted floor with a loud thud. Had he been on the wire? With groans and tired squeaks, he felt around his face.

His fingers hurt. One of his lower rays got bent a little in his fall. He looked at his arms more dents and scratches than the last time he was awake.

How long had he been out? The generators should keep Moon from showing up. He stood on wobbly legs as his gyroscope had finally reset itself. And took a look around the daycare.

And he let out a tired sigh. Toys and balls were lying everywhere. There seemed to be some new holes in the netting around the daycare.

He turned on his communication with a mix of anger and trepidation.

‘Moon!? what did you do!?’

He screamed through his inner communication system, and a familiar cackle reached him.

‘Punished the naughty Children, it was past their bedtime’

He sighed harder. There weren't any children around. His clock told him it was three o'clock at night. No way a child had sneaked in. They had already scrapped naptime. If things kept going as they were. The daycare might get closed down for good.

Another high cackle echoed in his head.

‘Is the stupid Sun trying to think? He should stop before he hurts himself ‘

He shut down the internal Communication without a word to his counterpart. The personal digs had increased the longer Moon wasn't allowed out. Especially with naptime now gone.

He missed his friend. The one that he had just started to get to know. The gentle snarky bot. That had sung the lullabies to the younger kids. The one that kept the older kids entertained with his snark and humour. The one that asked him about his day. And did his best to clean up to his standards.

Now the only thing left ‘clean’ were the stacked barrels. Whatever was wrong with Moon. It was taking him away a bit at the time. He wanted to believe his friend was still there. But it was getting harder and harder each day.

Cause every time he woke back up. Or even tried to talk there would be another insult. Or nonsensical statements with the early cackle. Their body hurt and dented as if Moon had thrown them against every surface image able. Trying to switch out when the lights even as much as dimmed.

Fighting for control and putting him back into a forced sleep.

He made so many requests for someone, anyone to help his counterpart. But instead of getting upgraded. Generators were being placed in the play structures to keep the lights on. The daycare hours were reduced. And fewer children came to visit. As they grew afraid of Moon and by extension him.

He shuffled around the daycare, his protocols not letting him go and rest before the mess was dealt with. So he slowly put the toys back in the cubicles. Put the balls back into the ballpit. Crawled through the structures to check for any damages or swears of marker or pen. Cleaned the tables of stains.

It took a little over an hour. And by then he was just left at twenty percent charge. And called the cable to fly up to their room.

His back ached when the wire attached. He was ready to fall into the nest they called their bed and call it a day. But stopped once he stepped past the curtain.

The room was an absolute mess. There were deep gashes in the walls. A string of fairy lights broken and shattered on the floor. Several pillows and blankets were torn to shreds. But what really made his processor throb were the torn-down drawings. Some had been slashed. Others crumbled. A few even ripped to pieces. All that hard work of their little stars lay on the floor in broken pieces

And a new stab of pain filled him as he noticed that if the ones destroyed and slashed contained himself.

He felt so very numb as he jumped down the ladder and peered through the tunnel further into their room. More drawings, more scratches. Also there seemed to be a broken staff bot shoved all the way in the back.

He started shaking as anger began to overwhelm him. It hadn't been the first time Moon destroyed their space. But he had left the drawings alone. It mostly looked like he had found something, dragged it up here then destroyed it.

Not this utter destruction of their space. They had so little already and now he was actively destroying it. The pain, the exhaustion, the stress. It was all too much and he had enough.

He turned the connection back on with a snarl. Barking out loud into the empty room knowing his counterpart would hear it

“What the actual hell Moon, what is this?”

His question only got an evil laugh in response. He had never been able to see his counterpart in his mindscape. But he could always feel it. It used to feel warm and present.

Now it felt looming and taunting. Like Moon was high up on the wire floating in front of his face with a large grin.

“Don’t like my little present~?”

His rays shook in their frames

“Present?! You destroyed our room! Our stuff, our gifts. Why would you do that!”

His rays rattled trying to shove back inside as his faceplate spun. Moon trying to take over their body again. He struggled back getting more into the light and accidentally slammed into the wall as he stepped on a light bulb.

“Our gifts?! Your gifts! It’s always you! Always keeping me in the dark! If I get nothing. Then so do you!”

He shook his head. Still fighting with Moon. Falling to the floor landing awkwardly on his skyhook. Sending a shock of pain through their frame. And both of them let out a loud screech. He scrambled up.

He wasn’t able to cry. But if he could he was sure the tears would be dripping down his face. He had enough.

“That’s it! No more nights! We are gonna keep the lights ON. I NEVER wanna hear you again. You are not my Moon anymore”

He shut down the communication. His frame was still rattling as they kept fighting. He struggled for a couple of minutes twitching and scrambling against the floor. Until he got to the centre of the room where the light from the main daycare shined through the open door. Making Moon finally still.

He sat up heaving against the wall. Tired fingers grabbing the loose cord near the outlet. One of his charging cables. That above all luck wasn’t broken, and he plucked himself in. As the fight with his counterpart had dropped him to below ten percent.

At first, he just let out heaving breaths, but eventually, he brought his knees up and buried his head in them. His whole body ached, but it didn’t hurt as much as his emotional matrix burned. He sobbed without tears. His face was still stuck in its eternal grin. Rays retracted as he continued to heave and sob.

He hadn’t wanted to accept it. But he must have lost his friend long ago. He had held out hope, but this was the last straw. Never would he hear that soothing voice again. Just the high statics growls and laughter. Never hearing him sing, never feel his happiness again as he cared for the kids. Never feel safe again with the lights off.

He never even got to see him. Really see him. He sat there for several long minutes crying. Making the already slow charging even slower. Eventually, he gathered himself enough to look over his knees and saw the papers everywhere.

He checked his percentage and decided to temporarily unplug so he could gather the drawings. And then look for a place to hide them. Somewhere Moon wouldn’t get to hopefully. First, he just collected what was right in front of him. Then he slowly went to the dimmer-lit areas but Moon didn’t fight for control again.

Eventually, he had everything in a pile. He sat back against the wall, plugging back in and began to sort the papers Into salvageable and unsalvageable piles. It half took his mind off everything. The aches, the loss of his friend.

But it always quickly came back with a stab, with drawings of both of them. Playing with kids, hearts all around them. Starry nights, and clear skies. He remembered joking with Moon once about getting outside. Now he doesn’t think he’ll ever be allowed to leave the daycare anymore.

Suddenly he came across a paper that surprised him. It had no drawings, just text. His name was at the top. And with a start, he realised that it was Moon’s handwriting, if not a bit shakier than he was used to.

The anger came back, and he angrily shoved the paper on top of the discard pile. Not looking at it. Looking at the next few papers. And as he went to put another one on top. To put it out of his mind for good. He noticed another word

‘Sorry’

It made him freeze. He shouldn’t look.

He really shouldn’t.

Moon was gone. The fact that this had happened was proof of it. But even as he kept telling himself he shouldn’t. He picked it back up, straightening out the wrinkles. And read it.

‘Sun,

I know I am hurting you, and I am sorry. I seem to have contracted a virus and I am doing all I can to fight it. Please, I beg of you to keep the little stars safe from me. I can feel your pain, it feels like it has been years since I last talked to you. And I might never be able to again

So just in case.

Thank you for being my best friend. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to share my body with. And I will keep fighting this thing inside us so it never touches you and you stay safe- ‘

The writing seemed to get shakier as the letter moved on, his own hands trembling.

‘Tell the little stars that I loved them. You will always be my most Treasured friend. And I wish I could have told you that in person.

I’m sorry again. Good luck Sun, I’ll miss you, Moon

He stared at the letter. Reading the words over and over again. A virus…Moony had a virus. He was hurting and fighting and Fazzbear was doing nothing. They should know he has it right, They have gone to parts and servers a lot since this started.

Were they really just letting Moon suffer like that?! His fingers trembled, right now he was a little glad he couldn’t cry. So no tears were dripping on the page and ruining it. He hugged it close to his chest.

Moon was still here…somewhere. Still fighting. Otherwise, he would be feeling the effects of the virus. Moon was still keeping him safe ... .Moon was…

His head shot up. He just told Moon that he never wanted to talk to him again. But what if…what if Moon had heard?! What if he was losing faith because he had given up? But he hadn’t known. He had been so so so tired. And…

He looked around in a frenzy. And shoved the pile of drawings under a loose floorboard for now together with Moon’s letter. And stood up opening the connection

“Moon!”

He heard a high-pitched crackle

“I know you couldn’t keep your word, Always such a weak-willed Bot.”

He ignored him, trying to stare at the space he could feel him and said evenly

“You are my best friend. And I’ll always be here for you!”

It was quiet for a few seconds and it seemed like he had taken Moon by surprise. But then cackling and laughing started again. Mocking him, saying he didn’t care. That he was nothing. But he knew it wasn’t true. Moon’s letter is a shining beacon of hope.

His body was still tired. And with some difficulty, he got himself up to the platform of the daycare. He didn’t wanna risk the lights turning off as he sat down. He placed his hand against his chest. Trying to stir the music box that wasn’t his to use. But he didn’t manage.

He hoped that under the virus, under the sneering and name-calling. Moon could still hear him. So he began to sing. A song that he had heard from one of the kids. A soft lullaby-like song, about how the moon rises, and summer is ending.

All the while Moon kept berating his singing, That he could never get the kids to sleep. But he kept going. Until the song was done. And then went to a sad ballad. One of the parents had shared it after her husband had died.

It was a guy who kept talking to the moon. Like the person wasn’t gone. Maybe it was more literal in his sense. Moon didn’t stop his taunting. But he kept going, singing those two songs over and over. Until his voice box burned from overuse.

He sends a request to parts and serves for the damages caused by Moon to their body as he kept singing. Deciding to keep going until either his battery went out. Or one of the maintenance workers came to get him.

He heard Moon calling his name, sneeringly, with increasing volume as he kept going. But he wouldn't stop. He tried not to think of how lonely Moon was. How far out of reach of him. It would cause him to cry more

Moon was calling his name again. But it sounded different, he ignored it and kept singing. Even as his systems started to slow.

“Sun!”

His eyes shot open. And he looked up into two worried scarlet eyes. Holding him by the shoulders. As he realised there were tears streaming down his face.

“Sun…”

He shot forward hugging his Moony, and burst out crying.

[scribble-dribble-writes]

Plastic Hearts - (21)

<<<Prev Next>>>

---

Brothers.

Also it's a short chapter cause I couldn't find much time.

---

He fit the googles around his eyes and fastened the biker gloves around his wrist. This was it. This was the great adventure. It just didn’t feel like it though.

He got onto his motorcycle, when Allan joined him as he took a seat behind him. Ken was glad that he had company, doing this task alone would have been more nerve wracking.

But he needed to get his head in the game, he had to, so he tuned out his thoughts as he heard Allan’s clear instructions. So he rode off, watching the darkened sun begin to rise as the early morning dust storm had begun to settle. The journey to the mount of great faces was simple enough. It was a well known spot, so the roads were wide and the signs were clear.

But as he rode, he would catch a glimpse of those posters again or run down Nomad vehicles or an abandoned gun by the roadside. He had to remember there was a darkside to this land now that it's innocence had been ripped away.

His grip tightened around the handle but he was grateful for his helmet, no one could read his expressions. Even without his helmet most people couldn’t decipher him well.

Well, except for you. He found it comforting, jus thoughts about you, the soft memories in his head seemed to offer him peace without fail.

He felt Allan tap his shoulder but he knew the reason for, the four Barbie faces loomed over them. All of it had been sculpted from pink rock but now it looked like concrete.

He brought the bike to a stop and parked it under a cover, to keep its presence hidden such that it was not stolen. The sun was now high in the sky signifying the change in time that only half a day was left. All the way through the drive was mostly silent, Allan seemed too stressed to hold a conversation and so Ken left him to his comfort.

“So it gets a little tricky from here.”, Allan spoke as he read the map and Ken removed his helmet, the warm dry air greeted him.

Allan was engrossed in reading the different coloured marker lines on the map he held in his hands, trying to find the path that could lead them to the big X. But as he observed him, he couldn’t help but take notice of the similarities.

When he was at the school, he would often see brothers come walk in together. The older boys would come by to drop off their young brothers in their class for their first day and as days went by even though these little kids showed up on their own, it was evident to see the comfort they had knowing their brothers were around.

But it wasn’t just there. At grocery stores, in the men’s department of a clothing store, at restaurants and bars. Siblings seemed to have a special connection and he had heard you ask him if he contemplated about those parts of life he never got to experience, he could now say that he was jealous of those who had a sibling.

Having parents was one thing but getting to have that brotherly bond was often an intrigue for Ken.

Allan showed up in his life much like a younger brother, if he drew comparison to the real world. One day Ken woke up to find that he had now had a designated buddy who could fit into his clothes.

But when he was going through a rough patch, Allan was the only one who cared after. What was more special was that there was only one of him and in the vast crowd of all the Kens who lived here, he felt fortunate to be the one to connect with him.

“Thank you for doing this.”, Ken stood his ground, not wanting to waste this second, this moment.

The surprise was evident on Allan’s face but it softened as he waved his hand as though it didn't matter.

“We’re friends. Don’t mention it.”, he smiled.

“No we’re not.”, Ken shuffled the helmet in his hand and observed the smile fade from Allan’s face.

“We’re more like brothers, if you’ll have me that is.”, he smiled, half expecting him to say no. But instead he was greeted by a hug.

“I’ve always hoped we could be.”, Allan said joyfully.

Ken completed the hug and his heart felt whole. He had a family now, he had always longed for love his entire life. And though since meeting you he had found his dream girl, his exposure to the real world had opened up a new wound. A wound that had slowly crept onto him like a passing shadow. He longed for a childhood he could never get.

But, that gapping hole was filled. He too had a brother now.

“Alright, lead the way.”, Ken chuckled as he pulled away because if he didn’t he was sure to shed a tear.

Allan stood taller, more confident as he held up the map towards the light before he placed in on the ground and began to fold the edges. A few seconds later, he held a paper heart that had rearranged the whole map such that it revealed the pink line was the only path that led to the proper destination.

Instead of entering the rocky pass, Allan began to walk into a different cavern opening. Ken followed and the moment he stepped in he was engulfed by utter darkness.

“Good thing we’ve got flashlights.”, Allan chuckled as he switched on his light and Ken halted immediately. He was one step away from falling off the edge.

He slowly shifted back as he caught up to Allan, this part of Barbieland felt too real. The rock formations and crumbling boulders, all this was beginning to show clear signs of wreckage.

“Has this place always been unstable?”, Ken questioned.

“According to our geotechnical books, this place is our foundation. With the deterioration though, it must have been the first to get hit.”, Allan explained.

It was simple, time was running out, the rocks chattered and grumbled around him, this whole area looked like it was going to cave in.

“It should hold up for us. Based on where we are, it looks like we should be close.”, he heard Allan speak but Ken could feel the hair on the back on his neck begin to rise.

Out of instinct, he pushed Allan away as loose stalactities came crumbling down where he had stood a second ago. Ken’s heart was in his throat but he heard Allan reassure him he was alright from the other side.

He let out a breath.

“That was a close call.”, Allan joked again but before Ken could react, the gap between them got filled with rocks that poured down from above.

Now they were separated.

One with the map and the other without.

---

Tags:

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[cybersp4c3]

Student council president reader x delinquent scara who breaks the dresscode by altering his skirt so short even him just casually walking in it has him showing off his (whore) panties to the whole school and also unbuttoning his blouse so that you can see his (barely even there) cleavage <3 reader being the perfectionist he is cant let that go unchecked so he fucks scara dumb after school in the student council meeting room to reform him so scara is just like “H-ah… i promise I won’t do it again sir!!” And then he does it again lmao so reader just ties him up in the boys toliet as a gloryhole for all the guys to use <3 he only lets him go after he is so filled with cum can’t even walk anymore lol

—could i be 🍰 anon??

Cake anon comes in with an absolute banger

Scara and reader being in the same class so reader has to deal with this bs everyday. He even has to sit behind Scara and he can’t pay attention to lessons because Scara’s ass is poking out from under his sorry excuse for a skirt

Whenever it’s a rainy day he can see that Scara’s breaking even more school rules since he has a tattoo in his womb area! And not to mention he doesn’t even wear a bra (or, sometimes, panties)!

Scara gets called to the student council meeting room after hours and darn! He’s getting told off!

He couldn’t care less, honestly. He spends the entire time just checking his nails, yawning, and rolling his eyes

His eyes definitely rolled upwards when you began to fuck his pussy at a harsh pace. Pushing into his cervix with each thrust, pulling him back by his hair while watching him wince and moan in pain

“Since you want to dress like a slut, might as well treat you like one, right?”

Scara is left in the room sobbing and covered in cum

The next time you see him doing it again, he’s dressed even MORE provocatively

His top is now cropped and his womb tattoo is peeking out!

You finally snap and turn him into a usable stress reliever for all the boys! If he wants to be a slut, he’ll be used like one!

When you come back to check on him at the end of the day, all his holes are outstretched and overflowing with cum and he’s covered in marks and things the boys wrote on him

“Use me!” With an arrow pointing to his holes was written on his ass in permanent marker.

Let’s hope he doesn’t try to do anymore stupid things

[stellerssong]

Hi again. I'm on some level here to ask for a complete explanation of every aspect of Hawaiian culture that is even tangentially related to your latest fic because I know absolutely nothing and there is the ever present concern that the terms run through cursory Google Translate and internet searching will lose nuance and implications. There were definitely some references to divinities and myths and such that went over my unenlightened head. The story you wove was rich and intricate enough to be held in the mind of someone who knows less than nothing and still have great meaning and truth, but I know that it will mean yet more if I can see the threads you used to make it. (On another level, I'm asking for the explanation because I am abruptly deeply interested in a topic I had previously not thought about very much, and you seem to be significantly more of an expert than the average internet search.)

first off! well first off i am blowing you so many kisses for this very kind ask, thank you so much for giving me an excuse to ramble at (great, great, great) length.

so second off! i would just like to stress that i am very much not an expert in hawaiian language, folklore, history, culture, etc. i am neither kānaka maoli (native hawaiian) nor kamaʻāina (born in hawaiʻi although not necessarily of hawaiian ancestry), and i have not studied these topics formally/in a setting that applies academic rigor. i am an enthusiastic amateur with a personal connection to hawaiian culture, the kind of brain that likes to fixate on areas of interest, and a willingness to scrounge around for reading material. i have, i think, a decent sense of what some of the baseline texts in the field are, and a fairly good bullshit detector (and the understanding/ability to dig into things when i can't rely on the bullshit detector), but ultimately i am a layman and an outsider with corresponding perspectives and biases. i also, i will admit frankly, have a pretty sharp knowledge cutoff corresponding to the time of first european contact, just because of my own personal interests and reading preferences.

read that whole disclaimer? let your eyes glaze over while you skimmed it? good! here's my real quick (lmao) rundown of Sum Things U Should Know If You Wanna Close-Read Kīpuka:

ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi 101

Good grief when I put it like that I do NOT feel qualified to tell you any of this. Anyway. We can keep it basic just so you can get a sense of the mouthfeel of the words. And just fyi ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi is the proper name of the language; i'll be using "Hawaiian" as the adjective form, sans ʻokina, assuming an English-speaking readership.

ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi as it is commonly rendered today has 13 letters: 5 vowels (A, E, I, O, and U) and 7 consonants (H, K, L, M, N, P, W), plus the ʻokina or glottal stop (that little apostrophe-lookin' dude at the beginning of the word ʻokina, also the source of most of my typesetting woes). Pronunciation-wise, there are no silent letters and no though/through/enough-type surprises: every letter is pronounced, and all of the vowel renderings are approximately equivalent to how you'd pronounce them in Spanish or Italian. Hence, the word kuahine = koo-ah-HEE-nay rather than, like, kyoo-ah-highn, which made me feel gross even just typing it out.

The ʻokina is pronounced, and bear with me here, like the dash in the english nuh-uh. or, if you're a try-hard vocalist—reattack the vowel after the ʻokina instead of eliding it to the vowel prior. So the place-name Kaʻū is pronounced ka-OO, as distinct from the word kau which is pronounced more like kow (which is a bit of an oversimplification of the latter word, but I'm trying to be efficient here).

That leads us neatly into the other diacritical marking used in ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi, the kahakō or macron which helpfully appears in its own name. No worries here; the kahakō just serves as a stress marker, so you'd say kahakō = ka-ha-KO instead of ka-HA-ko, or from the example above ka-OO rather than KA-oo.

There are a couple of other little pronunciation tricks here and there. The letter W is sometimes pronounced as a V, and unfortunately I can't really describe the rules for that shift; that is one I must admit I know mostly from vibes. For example, the correct pronunciation of Hawaiʻi itself is ha-VAI-ee, but I've never heard the place-name Waimea pronounced as anything but why-MEY-ah.

Occasionally you will encounter the letter K pronounced as a T, which I believe is an artifact of the morphological shift from older related languages such as Tahitian and Samoan which do preserve the letter T as a unique phoneme. To my knowledge, the Kauaʻi dialect (spoken today on Niʻihau) also preserves the T, but most spoken ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi heard elsewhere is based on the Big Island dialect, which lacks the T. One notable exception is the word tūtū (an affectionate/respectful term for a grandparent or elder), which you really don't hear pronounced as kūkū.

Really, though, listening to Hawaiian music is how I got the language in my ear and imo it's the best way to get it in yours. Can't go wrong with Israel Kamakawiwoʻole (of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" fame), but I have a personal soft spot for Kealiʻi Reichel, Weldon Kekauoha, Amy Hanaialiʻi, and the Cazimero Brothers.

The Place-y-ness of Hawaiian Literature

This is more of a sidenote than its own heading, but I'm the one driving the essay, and I think it's an interesting thing to point out, just because it helps establish a particular perspective I wanted to keep in mind while writing this fic.

Something you might notice as you start to look at Hawaiian oli, mele, and myth is the high level of specificity of place. Hawaiʻi is, let's be honest, not that enormous of a place when you consider it on a global scale—but the specificity of localities within Hawaiian literature is kind of astounding. Not only are there loads of place-names referenced in any given work, there are unique Hawaiian names for landmarks, cliffs, peaks, hills, streams, waterfalls—even rains and winds of specific locations merit their own names.

"kīpuka" is very specifically set on the windward side of Hawaiʻi island, so I made an effort to focus my references to place-names on that region—Hilo, ʻŌlaʻa, and Waiākea are all locations on the eastern side of the island, and the one reference to Kona on the leeward side reflects the coming of someone bearing grievances (in addition to eia aʻe ka makani Kona being an existing idiom warning the listener to watch out for an angry person, the windward and leeward sides of Hawaiʻi island have a long history of territorial warfare and jockeying for control of the island). I'd also considered having the bird discussed in the fic be a different species, the kākāwahie—but that species is/was endemic to Molokaʻi, and quite honestly my knowledge of the history and culture of Molokaʻi as a separate polity is not that great.

(This is partly due to sample bias—my introduction to Hawaiʻi was within a Big Island-based context. At the same time, another thing you may notice about the better-known source texts is that many of them center around Hawaiʻi island and, to a lesser extent, Maui, thanks to the political supremacy during the unification/post-contact era of Hawaiʻi island and Maui aliʻi. Ross Cordy wrote a whole ass book about the Oʻahu chiefdoms that is simply not to be had for love or money no matter how I search for it. I am THIS CLOSE to straight up cold emailing the man and being like I WILL VENMO YOU $75 USD DIRECTLY IF YOU WILL SIMPLY JUST SEND ME A COPY OF YOUR BOOK. PLEASE. SAVE ME ROSS CORDY.)

Girl (Gender Neutral), I Cannot Explain Hawaiian Mythology, Poetics, and Mythopoetics As a Subheading in One Post

Honestly. I can't do it. But some tidbits to assist your further research:

A great deal of Hawaiian literature and oral tradition hinges on kaona, roughly "allusion" or "metaphor." In a description that is useful to precisely no one but myself, it's not unlike the complex plays on words, puns, and deep well of references used in Heian Japanese epistolary poetry. Some of it is easy to grok for newbies: for example, the concept of one's lover as a lei adorning the body, or being splashed or sprinkled with water as a euphemism for sex. Some of it goes a lot deeper, relying on historical or folkloric place-name associations, puns, and ancient practices and superstitions.

The Hawaiian "pantheon" I place in scare quotes because ancient Hawaiian religious practices and superstition were highly syncretic, often extremely localized, and more contradictory the more you read into it. In a very, very, very, VERY rough and off-the-cuff sense, though, there were thought to be four major gods: Kāne (associated with dawn, the sun, the sky, running freshwater, and irrigation-based agriculture, among other things), Kanaloa (associated with the ocean, sea creatures, and sometimes death, as an opposing or complimentary force to Kāne), Lono (god of fertility, agriculture with something of an emphasis on dryland agriculture, rainfall, and peace as embodied in the Makahiki festival), and Kū (god of war, the deified kingship, fishermen, sorcery, and quite honestly a ton of other things in various manifestations).

There were also quite a large number of "lesser" gods, the word "lesser" used just in the sense that they weren't honored to the same extent as the four previously named in state-sanctioned religious practice. Probably the most well-known of these is Pele, the volcano goddess. (I reference another in the fic, Niolopua, god of sleep—but the jury's out on whether or not that refers to an actual god or is just metaphorical in the same way that most people think of "the Sandman" as a euphemism for sleep and not a literal guy who comes into your house and puts crusties in your eyes.)

The gods were thought to manifest in a variety of forms, called kino lau (literally "four hundred bodies"). You can think of this in the sense of "Lono takes on the shape of an albatross or a tropicbird to interact with mortals, while Kanaloa prefers to manifest as an octopus," and in stories kino lau are sometimes represented that way, but in practice it's less of a Greek myth-style practice of shapeshifting and more of an animistic religious belief. The kino lau in nature embody the god and in a metaphorical sense illustrate the interconnection between divine and earthly and the presence of the divine on earth.

(HUGE OVERSIMPLIFICATION. HUGE OVERSIMPLIFICATION. PLEASE DO MORE RESEARCH AND DO NOT TAKE ONE TUMBLR POST AT ITS WORD ON THIS.)

The Endless, in the fic, are very easy to loop into the concept of kino lau, because of their canonical universality. Danny appears as a shark (a symbol of chiefhood), a pueo, or Hawaiian owl (an 'aumakua, or ancestral guardian), a manu-o-Kū, or fairy tern (a bird associated with the god Kū, likely in his aspect as a god of fishermen, navigators, and wayfinders), a kalo plant (a staple crop of ancient Hawaiʻi, a kino lau of Kāne, and a symbol of duality and rebirth), and a snowcapped mountain (a sacred site considered kapu, or forbidden, to all but the highest chiefly individuals). Despair, meanwhile, appears as an ʻalae ʻula, or Hawaiian moorhen (another ʻaumakua, but also an animal whose cry was thought to foretell misfortune), a stingray (for her barbed tail), a hāpuʻu fern (in contrast to Dream's kalo, the hāpuʻu was considered a famine food), a lava flow and its first growths (acknowledging Pele as both a destroyer and a creator of land, just as Despair also embodies hope), and a number of other things meant to embody the devastation of Hawaiʻi (rats, feral pigs, and mosquitoes have decimated endemic birds and insects; the kiawe is an invasive plant species that forms dense, thorny, and difficult-to-destroy groves; light pollution affects behavior and migratory patterns of both avian and aquatic species).

All pretty simple, obviously!

Further Resources and Recs

Okay, so, obviously I'm not going to be able to explain every single reference in this fic in a single post, though I obviously tried my damnedest. In lieu of that, I'll offer some useful resources for further reading:

Stephen Trussel's Combined Hawaiian Dictionary is a fantastic resource for vocab that incorporates several major Hawaiian dictionaries in a straightforward (well, as straightforward as this gets) text-based web page. Ulukau also has a searchable interface, which is a little easier to interact with, but I like having the Trussel for reference.

Huapala is everyone's go-to for translations of Hawaiian lyrics. I've linked to it in the endnotes of the fic for readers interested in more on "Ka Ipo Lei Manu," but it's got nearly any ʻauana-style Hawaiian song you please, and if I recall correctly even a few traditional oli. Again, another slightly old-fashioned text-based site—but we all know how to use CMD + F in a page, do we not?

Native Books is awesome if you, like me, prefer reading things in print but would prefer not to feed your dollars into the maw of the Amazon beast. A lot of the lit on Hawaiʻi was printed either a long time ago or in very small releases and is now out-of-print and difficult to find even in libraries, so it rocks that there's an independent bookseller that specializes in getting those works to an audience in hard copy. @ NATIVE BOOKS PLEASE CONSIDER GETTING ROSS CORDY TO RE-PRINT THE RISE AND FALL OF THE OʻAHU KINGDOM THANK YOU SO MUCH. University of Hawaiʻi Press is also a good source for academic texts, although their website is...mm...difficult to navigate, and do be warned that they charge academic press prices.

In terms of who to read, you really can't go wrong with Mary Kawena Pukui, a Native Hawaiian scholar, author, composer, and educator whose work is the backbone of just, a fuckton of writing about Hawaiʻi, both academic and popular. Her book ʻŌlelo Noʻeau: Hawaiian Proverbs and Poetical Sayings is worth at least a skim just to get the feel of the Hawaiian mindset; it also contains a healthy dose of myth, folklore, and history in the explanations of the sayings. Absolutely adorably, I've found two books she edited that I read the absolute FUCK out of as a child available as PDFs through Ulukau: The Water of Kāne and Other Legends of the Hawaiian Islands and Hawaiʻi Island Legends: Pīkoi, Pele, and Others. Definitely worth a quick read if you want more on the myth side of things.

As a non-specialist, I've really enjoyed Patrick Vinton Kirch's writing on precontact Hawaiʻi. For a field archaeologist, his writing is both highly engaging and very respectful of the peoples he studies, and trust me, I do get my back up easily when it comes to white people writing about Other Cultures TM, so I'd posit it means something that he passes my sniff test. A Shark Going Inland is My Chief is a great overview of the history of the Hawaiian chiefdoms from the first settlement of the islands to immediately precontact, and Kuaʻāina Kahiko offers a bit of a closer look at everyday life in a specific locality in the islands (in this case, Kahikinui, Maui).

Kamehameha and His Warrior Kekūhaupiʻo by Stephen Desha (trans. Frances N. Frazier) began its life as a serialized Hawaiian-language history of the rise of Kamehameha I. It's a dense read, and it WILL test your ability to remember who the hell all these people are to its limit—it mostly discusses the lives and times of the major players of the aliʻi class in the late precontact–early postcontact era, and when you remember that a) a hell of a lot of personal names in this tale begin with the letter K and b) the aliʻi class of Hawaiʻi practiced a mindboggling amount of political marriage, consanguineous marriage, and sanctioned adoption between blood relatives, the family trees get real complicated REAL fast. If you can hang on through all that, though, it's an intensely detailed and very vivid portrait of a culture at a tumultuous moment, it gives a great sense of how the Hawaiians viewed themselves and the world, and it's an interesting exercise in the mythologizing of the Kamehameha dynasty.

Okay, So...?

So...if you hung on through all that, god DAMN are you dedicated. Have what is quite possibly my favorite Hawaiian song for your trouble. It is, funnily enough, about a bird.

EDIT: I am retroactively making this post unrebloggable. I'm really, really glad folks have found it interesting and are looking into the resources I shared, but I absolutely do not want this getting passed around as Hawaiian Culture 101. If you want to learn more about Hawaiʻi, I must stress that you should look to a reputable source and not some schmuck on Tumblr rambling about her effortposting fanned fiction.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

Background and objectives Severe COVID-19 pneumonia often requires high concentrations of oxygen, which can potentially lead to oxidative stress and lung injury. This study aimed to investigate the impact of different oxygen therapy modalities on oxidative stress by comparing malondialdehyde (MDA) levels, an oxidative stress marker, and glutathione (GSH), an antioxidant marker, in patients with severe COVID-19 pneumonia.

Methods This study included 50 patients with COVID-19 pneumonia who received oxygen therapy using a reservoir mask at ≥15 L/m, high-flow oxygen therapy at 60 L/m, or oxygen therapy with noninvasive mechanical ventilation at fraction of inspired O2 (FiO2) levels of ≥60%. GSH and MDA levels were measured 48 h after starting oxygen therapy at FiO2 ≥ 60% and 48 h after switching to nasal cannula oxygen therapy at 2–4 L/m.

Results Overall, 60% (n = 30) of the patients were men, and 40% (n = 20) were women. In patients with accompanying hypertension, MDA levels, which were higher during oxygen therapy at FiO2 ≥ 60%, decreased significantly after switching to nasal cannula oxygen therapy at 2–4 L/m (p = 0.046). A significant difference in MDA was not found after switching to lower oxygen flow (p = 0.064) in patients with underlying diabetes mellitus. GSH levels in patients with underlying diabetes mellitus were higher during oxygen therapy at FiO2 ≥ 60% and decreased significantly after switching to nasal cannula oxygen therapy at 2–4 L/m (p = 0.021).

Conclusions This study compared MDA and GSH levels among patients receiving oxygen therapy at high and low concentrations for severe COVID-19 pneumonia. The results revealed that patients who died of COVID-19 pneumonia had significantly higher mean MDA levels than those who survived. In patients with underlying HT, MDA levels, which were higher during oxygen therapy at FiO2 ≥ 60%, decreased during nasal oxygen therapy at 2–4 L/m; this difference was significant. The increase in serum MDA levels during high-flow oxygen therapy and the decrease during low-flow therapy in patients with COVID-19 pneumonia accompanied by hypertension suggest that oxidative stress due to hyperoxia should be taken into consideration.

Source: Xia & He Publishing Inc.

Journal reference: Özenç, S., et al. (2024). Relationship between Concentrations of Oxygen and Levels of Oxidative Stress in Patients Receiving Oxygen Therapy for Severe COVID-19 Pneumonia. Exploratory Research and Hypothesis in Medicine. doi.org/10.14218/erhm.2024.00015.

Study link: www.xiahepublishing.com/2472-0712/ERHM-2024-00015

[velaraffricate]

Hi everybody! This is, finally, a proper showcase of my conlang Ke'eloom!

Ke'eloom has a bit of a troubled history. It was my very first conlang, but has since undergone two whole reworks. I'm rather happy with it now though, and this version will (hopefully) be the final one!

For some basics, it's agglutinative, SOV, nom-acc, adjectives and adpositions go after the noun but adverbs go before the verb. Also keep in mind that naturalism is not at all a priority for my projects.

The phonology and romanization is as follows:

Ke'eloom has a (C)(C)V(V)(V)(C)(C) syllable structure. The glottal stop only occurs in "glottalized" vowels, /V₁ʔV₁/ sequences that are treated as one syllable. Plosives are generally aspirated. There's no significant allophony happening with the consonants, vowels vary a bit more: i u e o > ɪ ʊ ɛ ɔ / [-stress], i u > j w / $_V. All diphthongs except /ou/, /uo/ and those containing /ə/ are legal. Additionally, there are a few triphthongs: /aia eia oia uia aua/. All sounds are allowed in the onset except for long and glottalized vowels, and prenasalized consonants and /h/ can't appear in the coda. Stress typically falls on the penultimate syllable of a root.

As for the pronouns, there's a distinction in the third person between proximate - obviate and animate - inanimate. The animate is used for all animals and living things, including deities but excluding plants, and the inanimate is used for everything else.

Ke'eloom has nominative - accusative alignment and twelve cases in total: nominative, accusative, dative, genitive, locative (at/by), allative (to), illative (into), ablative (from), elative (out from), benefactive (for), comitative (with) and abessive (without). Case is marked with a suffix that also indicates the number of the noun: singular, dual, or plural. So you can easily express that there are exactly two of something: my eyes are brown is translated as uheni kil mbor, with the dual nominative suffix -(i)ni attached to uhe, meaning eye. But if you have five cats and all of them have blue eyes, my cats' eyes are blue is translated as uhesa miamal kil slëñ, using the plural nominative -(s)a suffix.

And that bring us to the verbs: Ke'eloom has zero copula in the present perfective indicative. Notice that the verb to be, rome in Ke'eloom, is not present in the example sentences above. Now, if you were to say my eyes were brown, it would get added, as this sentence is in the past tense: uheni kil mbor romu.

Ke'eloom only distinguishes three tenses, past, present, and future, but there are several aspects - continuous, habitual, inchoative, and cessative - and moods - imperative, optative, interrogative, and potential. These all are marked with suffixes that can combine together to convey a lot of information in just one word. Modal verbs such as can, would, must, or want can also be suffixed onto the main verb.

Ke'eloom is also pro-drop, if the subject is a nominative pronoun it gets prefixed onto the verb, in which cases the sentence structure could be analysed as OSV. Negative, passive and causative constructions are also constructed with prefixes. So we can have whole sentences condensed into very few words: fai onorego'oŋatsuzhiŋat means I probably can not finish eating this. Note that the uncoloured -ŋa suffix doesn't correspond to english -ing, as it is the present tense and not continuous aspect marker.

There are no articles in Ke'eloom, however, definiteness can be shown with demonstratives such as fai. There are nine total demonstratives, as three distances - proximal, medial, and distal - and three numbers - singular, dual, and plural - are differentiated.

There are four special prefixes that can be attached, where it makes sense, to nouns, adjectives, and verbs. These prefixes are typically stressed for emphasis. The first is e(n)-, a general intensifier and augmentative. Some usage examples: big tree - embom, a very cute cat - mia enëtii, I really want this - fai eregutsaŋa.

The second, ek(e)- means always, or all. Examples: all cats are cute - ekemia ëtii, i am always tired - re ekenoets, you always bring me flowers - kit shiŋkha eketshandaiŋa.

on(o)- means no, none, or not, seen here: no cats are green - onomia zhud, i am not wise - re onala, they don't eat meat - skurkhe onoduzgo'oŋa.

The final one, ok(o)-, meaning never, is typically only attached to adjectives and verbs: he is never kind - ndis okodzhoe, you never learn - okotshahiŋa.

Ke'eloom uses a seximal number system. The numbers zero to six are tshi, tsun, nif, dur, khe, ira, sati.

And that's all for now! I hope this was an interesting and understandable read. I've already written a [post about the writing system], where you can also see more of the language in action. I'd be happy to answer any questions!

[munsonsreputation]

Hi there, I hope you are well 🖤🖤

How about stressing out about the university deadlines ? Being up late, working through etc.(Maybe I'm self inserting right now xD)

And Eddie is taking care of you and everything around?

Or maybe even Robin ?

Or Eddie is the boyfriend who takes care of you and Robin is the best friend?

Make with that what you want :D

hey anela!!! i hope you're not stressing too much about school...remember to try your best but also try not to get caught up in it all!!! 💫💐🐣

i also hope this little imagine makes you feel better...robin is your caring girlfriend and eddie is you silly best friend :D wishing you all the best and thank you so much for your request!!! 💌✨🌙

“How the fuck is this even possible?!” 

Robin and Eddie’s eyes grew as they picked up your groans and annoying wails from the front door of the apartment, most likely even down the hall if they hadn’t made it in time. 

“I’ll go check on her.” Robin whispered, toeing off her shoes and placing the bag of groceries down on the floor for Eddie to grab as she made her way into your shared bedroom. 

The door was cracked open and she could see your silhouette in front of the desk, staring at the whiteboard calendar hanging on the wall. There were scribbles in all the boxes, each color coded with important due dates and exams. As for the floor and desk...they had become victim to the pages and pages of notes, syllabuses, and deconstructed textbook excerpts you had printed instead of buying whole.

“Baby?”

Robin knocked softly against the wood, causing you to snap your neck behind you, relieved to see and hear the voice of your favorite person in the world. 

Your girlfriend. 

“H-hey.” You sighed with content, abandoning the dry erase marker and urgently holding your arms out or her. 

She pouted cutely, nudging the door open and striding over to you with the same stance. Engulfing you in her arms and warmth. Burying your face in her neck, planting kisses along the skin, she smelled of lavender and honey, a mix of her shampoo and perfume and her that brought you back down to a realm of serenity and calmness. 

Something you were desperately craving. 

“I missed you.” your voice was muffled against her hair and neck, yet she understood, humming and placing a kiss on the top of your head as she pulled you two apart. 

You reeked of tiredness and she knew that. 

For the past three days, you’d been sporting the same hoodie with mangled hair tossed up into a very chaotic bun. Coffee and snacks were practically keeping you alive as you attempted to get the college workload done in a certain amount of time so that you could finally relax. 

But things just kept piling and piling and piling onto each other like a mountain of stress weighing on your mind and body at this point. 

It seemed like your professors didn’t care that you had other classes to deal with or even just a life to live outside of school. And so here you were, stressing about exams that conflicted with each other and projects that wouldn’t have enough time to get done due to you needing to do other work. 

It all just seemed fucking impossible. 

“Have you eaten at all?” 

Robin’s eyes scanned the space, a few bright orange and white goldfish packages that were tossed away in random spots in the room. An apple core that was oxidizing on a piece of paper towel on the corner of the desk, that served as lunch today. And of course, the collection of mugs that were stacked on top of one another, stained a dark-tannish-brown because of the lack of creamer you’d been using recently hoping to keep you more caffeinated. 

You couldn’t help but laugh faintly, a big contrast from the way your chest fell heavily. 

“Snacking. Coffee. And an apple. Didn’t have much time to make anything.” 

Your girlfriend groaned, squeezing your arms and rubbing them up and down in a comforting manner to try to ease you more and more. 

She didn’t want to pretend like she knew what it was like stressing over college classes, because for godsake she went to a community college, and yes while it still was college courses, it was nothing like the rigorous classes that you were taking. 

But she knew you needed a break. 

Desperately. 

“Why don’t we take a break? Eddie and I went to grab groceries and I’m sure the two of us can whip up something for you to eat.” 

You wanted to. You really, really wanted to. 

But there were so many things that needed to get done. So many stupid, pointless fucking assignments that were calling your name, making you feel bad for not tending to them now like you were scheduled to do. 

“I can’t,” You stared down at both of your sock covered feet. 

“Baby, you can’t stay locked In here all the time…plus you’ve got to eat, you know that.” 

She was so right. It had been three days since you sat down and had a proper meal. Robin would make you a bowl of ramen, mac and cheese, and microwavable dinners in order to replace the good and hearty one, but she knew it was the breaking point now. 

You were about to protest, telling her that you only needed a couple of hours to complete your last bits of assignment for one class, but it just so happened that another voice popped in. 

“She’s right, sweetheart.” 

The tall tattooed guy walking into the bedroom, you and your girlfriend rolling your eyes jokingly as he strode closer, turning his nose up at the mess. 

“You live in a pigsty.” He pointed out, reaching over to pick up the apple core, wrapping the now soggy paper towel around it.

You huffed, reaching out to push his arm, not moving him one bit, “It’s not easy being a uni student, alright?” 

Robin softened, hands now rubbing your shoulders and kissing your cheek as Eddie pretended to gag like a fucking child. 

He was definitely your best friend for a reason. 

“Why do you think I’m not in school?” He retorted, pausing as you grumbled, choosing to fall back into Robin’s touch instead of listening to him. 

“Did you pick up the heavy cream like I told you?” Robin looked over at Eddie, continuing to massage your shoulder as you finally became to feel some sort of peace despite their talking. 

He nodded, raising one of his brows and she smiled, removing her hand from you, inciting in a whine that made the two of them laugh. 

“While you have a hot shower, me and Eddie are gonna make you some homemade pasta alright?” She offered with a bright smile and so did Eddie, despite him not having a damn clue how to make it. 

“But…but I’ve still got work that I need to—“ 

Their protests instantly cut you off.

“No, nope, not gonna happen, missy!” 

“Babeeeee nooooo, you need a break!” 

They each pulled you by the arm, dragging you out of the room with no actual resistance, and you complained, but not dramatically. Eddie headed straight for the kitchen, gathering what he thought was going to be needed for the meal, and Robin had brought you into the bathroom. 

She flipped the toilet seat down, setting you on the cover as she went over to the tub, turning on the water and getting it to the temperature that you liked. 

You watched with admiration, resting your elbows on your knees as she continued to talk to herself about the temperature, her arm under the water testing it every few seconds. 

“Okay, I think it’s ready!” She nodded to herself, standing up and turning back towards you. 

Despite your fatigue, you smiled widely, gesturing her over with a point of your chin. 

The action of her cupping your jaw in her palms made you melt away, forgetting the workload that was sitting on your desk waiting to be finished. 

Right here is where you wanted to be. 

“Thanks for pulling me away from all that shit.” 

She grinned, pressed a chaste kiss on your lips and nudging her nose against yours, “I’ve got you, babe.” 

You rested your head against her forehead, kissing her once more as your lips danced against each other all before the hard pounding on the door. 

“Stop smooching! I need help boiling these fucking noodles.” 

Robin screeched, tightly shutting her eyes, cursing out loud for Eddie to hear, “Dingus, I told you to bring out the ingredients, not start cooking!” 

You stifled your laughter, giving her one last kiss before watching her pry open the door. There stood Eddie with your apron on, holding a pot of water out for her to take. 

“What would you do without your best friend and girlfriend, huh?” Eddie smirked, arms crossed in front of his chest as Robin scrambled toward the kitchen, pot in hand. 

You flipped him off with a playful roll of your eyes, 

“Oh, how I wonder…” You singsonged, smiling lightly and shutting the door in his face. 

You really were lucky to have one amazingly incredible girlfriend, plus a goofy metal head as your best friend to keep you grounded. 

Their presence and their surprisingly delicious homemade pasta were, in fact, the best things to get your mind off school. 

[oftlunarialmoon]

5 Ways to STOP/PREVENT Self Harm

originally posted to www.onlyfunthings.org on May 15, 2017

Ciao lovelies! As you all may know, I care very much about all of you and I never want any of you to be in pain, and I especially don’t want any of you to think your only option is to self-harm. So I decided to make a list of 5 things you can do instead of self-harm. Remember that every day clean is another victory!

As someone who used to self-harm, I can guarantee that these 5 things are effective in taking away the urge to hurt yourself. If you are feeling like hurting yourself or suicidal in any way I also urge you to seek help in a trusted adult like a parent, teacher, or counselor so that you can get proper help and get into recovery. If you’re already in recovery, first let me say I am so proud of you and I know how hard it is to come this far. I am so happy that you’re in recovery. Second, I know how hard it is to avoid relapsing while in self-harm recovery, and this list will definitely help you to not relapse.

#1- Ice Cubes

I know that sometimes the urge to self-harm comes from the feeling of emotional numbness caused by depression. But instead of cutting or hurting yourself in any way to feel something, try this trick.

Get an ice cube or something very cold from the freezer, and hold it until you feel something. Repeat if you need to.

 I know that many therapists will also say to snap a rubber band on your wrist, but I don’t recommend this as it can leave welts and can be just as addictive as self harm.

Along the lines of the ice cubes, try eating something very cold, like ice pops or ice cream. Your mouth is very sensitive, so you will definitely feel the cold.

#2- Red marker

Sometimes cutting/self-harming is a compulsion. To stop this, draw red lines on your arm with a soft tip marker wherever you’d normally hurt yourself. Repeat until you have satisfied the compulsion.

If you are worried about being judged, just wash off the red marks when you’re done (I recommend using a washable red Crayola marker because of this).

DO NOT USE A PEN! Pens are sharp! And can hurt you! DO NOT USE A PEN!!! USE A SOFT TIPPED MARKER!

#3- Follow the HALT Checklist

Before hurting yourself, look at the HALT checklist. This checklist is designed to show you why you might be feeling badly. So HALT and see if you are-

H- Hungry?/Hydrated? Eat something small. If it’s a meal time, eat a meal. Try to eat something healthy with mood boosting properties, like a banana. Are you dehydrated? When was the last time you drank water? Take a few sips or drink half a bottle. 

A- Angry? Are you angry? Think of anything you might be angry about. Try ranting to yourself for a little while. Draw an angry picture in an angry color like red. 

L- Lonely? Are you Lonely? When was the last time you talked to someone? Call someone, go talk to a family member, even talk to a pet. Talk. Get some interaction. 

T- Tired? Are you tired? When was the last time you slept? Take a 30 minute nap if you’re not sure.

#4- Take a Walk

Sometimes you might be feeling restless, and mis-attribute it to sadness. I actually found that going on a brisk walk outside makes me feel a lot better, for some reason. I’m not sure why this works, but maybe it’s something to do with getting some vitamin D? It’s still nice, and makes me feel better.

#5- Destroy Something

Have a pile of things you can safely destroy, like old school papers you can rip apart. Sometimes the act of ripping paper to shreds can just cause so much relief and take away so much stress!

Please, make sure to take care of yourself. I don’t want any of you to ever feel the need to self-harm. Each and every one of you is beautiful, and deserves to live and be happy.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, please talk to a trusted adult.

[movingwithgrace123]

Best Way to Pack Dishes for a Move

Moving can be an incredibly stressful experience, especially when it involves packing delicate items like dishware. Whether you're relocating across town or to a different city, ensuring the safety of your dishes is a top priority. These items often carry sentimental value, whether they were collected over the years, received as gifts, or passed down through family members. Protecting these cherished possessions during your move is essential.

At Moving With Grace, we understand the importance of carefully packing your dishware to ensure it arrives at your new home safely. Knowing the proper techniques for packing dishes can help alleviate the stress of the moving process. Though it’s easy to become overwhelmed by all the details of moving, taking the time to pack your dishes properly can save you from potential heartbreak when you unpack.

Start by gathering the right packing materials. It's important to use high-quality, sturdy boxes, specifically designed for packing fragile items like dishware. Dish-pack boxes are typically double-walled, providing extra strength and protection. For heavier items like dishes, opt for smaller boxes to avoid overloading. You'll also need packing paper or bubble wrap to individually wrap each piece, with bubble wrap offering additional cushioning for very delicate items. Avoid using newspaper, as the ink can transfer onto your dishes. Strong packing tape is necessary to securely seal your boxes, and permanent markers will help you label each box as "FRAGILE" and note which room they belong to.

If you have a large collection of dishware or particularly valuable pieces, enlisting professional movers can provide peace of mind. Experienced movers know the best techniques to safely pack and transport fragile items, minimizing the risk of damage. They have access to specialized packing materials that are designed to protect your dishes and other delicate items. Additionally, professional movers can save you valuable time, allowing you to focus on other aspects of your move. Many reputable moving companies also offer insurance options to ensure that your belongings are covered during transit.

Hiring professional movers ensures that your dishware is in good hands and that your entire moving experience will be smoother and more efficient. Click the link below to learn more.

[dhakshin-ayurveda]

Curcuma Longa Rhizome Powder: The Golden Spice with Remarkable Health Benefits

Introduction

Curcuma longa is an important plant of the ginger family that is commonly known as turmeric. When dried and ground into powder, the rhizome has been used as spice, dye and has medicinal value for many centuries. commonly referred to as the ‘Golden spice,’ turmeric contains several pharmacological agents, [curcuminoids], with curcumin being the most researched for its antioxidant effect, anti-inflammation, antimicrobial action, & anticancer properties, etc. This blog looks at the chemical constitution, therapeutic properties, and the source, which backs up the use of turmeric rhizome powder from the conventional and contemporary medication.

1.Historical and Traditional Uses

Ayurveda and Traditional Medicine

Haridra is the term used in Ayurvedic science for turmeric, and it is one of the most useful spices. It is taken to maintain the doshas; Vata, Pitta and Kapha and in managing conditions such as skin diseases, respiratory complaints and gastrointestinal complaints. Turmeric is also utilized in non Surgical formulations such as Haridra Khand in allergies, Kumudakshi taila for skin.

Cultural Significance

In India turmeric is associated with purity and wealth, and is used in religious rites, in weddings and other celebrations. It has also been used for wound and infection treatments traditionally, due to the presence of antiseptic characteristics in it.

2.Chemical Composition of Curcuma Longa Rhizome Powder

The therapeutic potential of turmeric lies in its diverse phytochemical composition, including:

Curcuminoids (2–5%) Curcumin (C₂₁H₂₀O₆): The primary bioactive compound responsible for turmeric’s bright yellow color and potent health benefits.

Demethoxycurcumin and bisdemethoxycurcumin: Curcuminoids with complementary effects to curcumin.

2. Volatile Oils (4–14%): Includes turmerone, zingiberene, and ar-turmerone, which contribute to its anti-inflammatory and antimicrobial properties .

Polysaccharides Known for their immunomodulatory and anti-ulcer effects.

Proteins and Resins Play a role in turmeric’s therapeutic effects on digestion and skin health.

3.Health Benefits of Curcuma Longa Rhizome Powder

a)Potent Anti-inflammatory Effects

Inflammation is a major cause of diseases including arthritis, diabetes and cardiovascular diseases and turmeric is used therapeutically to reduce chronic inflammation.

Mechanism of Action: Curcumin also suppresses the expression of enzymes involved in COX-2 and LOX and the NF-κB signaling pathway which is involved in TNF-α and IL-6 cytokines .

Evidence: Research indicates that administration of turmeric modestly decreases pain and inflammation in patients suffering from osteoarthritis similar to NSAIDs but less side effects.

b) It is an Efficient AntiOxidant Substrate chronic inflammation, a key contributor to diseases like arthritis, diabetes, and cardiovascular conditions

b)Powerful Antioxidant Properties

Curcumin is a strong antioxidant, protecting cells from oxidative stress caused by free radicals.

Mechanism: It neutralizes reactive oxygen species (ROS) and enhances the activity of endogenous antioxidant enzymes like superoxide dismutase (SOD) and catalase .

•Evidence: Research confirms that turmeric supplementation reduces markers of oxidative stress in conditions such as diabetes and metabolic syndrome .

c)Digestive Health and Liver Protection

Turmeric strengthens the intestinal lining and has antioxidants that neutralize toxic substances and reduce liver oxidative stress.

Bile Production: It aids in bile production and therefore prevents cases of bloating and indigestion in most people who take it.

Hepatoprotective Effects: Curcumin blocks the inflammation of hepatocytes and free radicals that causes liver damage. Research writes it down in ways such as in non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD)

d)Cardiovascular Benefits

Recent studies also show that curcumin helps support cardiovascular health by maintaining lipid levels and decreasing inflammation.

•Cholesterol Regulation: To date, clinical studies highlight that turmeric decreases levels of LDL cholesterol and triglycerides and at the same time increases levels of HDL cholesterol.

•Blood Pressure Control: It’s an arterial dilator associated with nitric oxide that enhances the ability of arteries to dilate hence enhancing blood flow

e) Skin and Wound Healing

It has been used in the past in treating various skin disorders including wound, eczema and psoriasis.

Antimicrobial Action: It also has abilities of combating infections since the growth of bacteria, fungi and virus is prevented by curcumin.

SkinRegeneration: It has an anti-inflammatory effect and stimulates the production of collagen therefore enhancing speedy healing and little scarring .

f) Immune System Support

Turmeric increases the function of the immune cells by regulating its activity.

Immunomodulatory Effects: It increases the activity of macrophages T- cells, and Natural killer (NK)cells Fig. 1.

AntiviralProperties: Research also shows that curcumin can delay the viral replication in such virus infections as influenza and hepatitis.

g) Anti-cancer Potential

Curcumin is investigated for its potential to prevent as well as cure different types of cancer rampantly.

Induction of Apoptosis: It targets the cancer cells for apoptosis without affecting non cancerous cells .

Angiogenesis Inhibition: Tumour growth requires formation of new blood vessels, which this drug is able to inhibit, reducing cancer development .

4. Mechanisms of Action

Mechanisms of Action Enzyme Inhibition: It suppresses some synthesis of inflammatory mediators such as COX-2 and LOX which lower inflammation.

Gene Regulation: Regulates genes with inflammatory response, oxidation, and cell survival including knocking down NF-κB and MAPK.

Antioxidant Defense: Increases the body’s natural antioxidant level as well as neutralizing free radicals.

Cellular Protection: Antioxidant, shields DNA and cell membranes to reverse effect of chronic diseases

5. Modern Applications of Curcuma Longa Rhizome Powder

Nutraceuticals: It helps in mixtures used in supplements for treating joint aches, boosting immunity and general body health.

Functional Foods: Consumed as a wellness supplement in golden milk, teas, and energy bars.

Cosmetics: Used together with skincare products for it also has anti-inflammatory and skin illuminating properties.

Pharmaceuticals: Also incorporated in preparations for control of inflammatory and metabolic diseases

6.Safety and Recommended Dosage

Safety Profile

However, the common yellow spice, turmeric, is safe for consumption. There are always side effects of most supplements especially when taken in large quantities and this may include a rise in heart rate and mild gastric upsets.

Recommended Dosage

For general wellness: 500–2,000 mg of curcumin daily, standardized to 95% curcuminoids.

Always consult a healthcare provider before starting supplementation, especially if on medication or pregnant.

Conclusion

Curcuma longa rhizome powder is the golden spice of India containing curcuminoids and a variety of bioactive compounds that are recommended in traditional medicine practice and supported by scientific evidence. With its cleansing and anti-inflammatory and antioxidant effects, digestive health benefits through demonstration of boost to immunity as well as chronic disease relief, turmeric still holds its status as a natural remedy. From cooking to beverages and supplements to skincare products, turmeric is still pushing its curcumin cure for a healthier you.