#guys you cannot be living like this as 20 year olds

[tsururoach]

god i'm delirious. audiologie is so funny for giving us canonical vocalsynth relationship drama . something is wrong with both of them I'm crying

[dontexpectmuch]

i know how much you guys love this series, so i give you a new part. this one how ever will be;

comments/feedback is highly appreciated! please, im getting desperate :d

Habits Jude Bellingham might develop before you guys get into a relationship!

(a Lost in Madrid drabble!)

it is no secret that jude just loves to talk. he genuinely enjoys it so much to share any and every thought that goes through his mind, no matter how small it might be. he couldn’t tell when it started exactly, but suddenly he found himself on his way to you, a tired student that just wants to finish their work. as soon as he lifts his hand, knocks on your door and enters the room his lips start moving, talking so lively and fast that you need some time to register what is even happening.

“what do you mean ‘m talkin’ your ear off? you literally study literature and shit!” - “it’s more about reading, jude.” you sigh, wishing for any kind of help at this moment.

it is also nothing new for you to receive messages from jude during your quiet evenings when you decide to stay home. jude recently got into sending audio messages, you being his number one victim [forced] friend, whom he shared this new passion with. and most of the times he won’t even say anything important. he’ll just sing a new spanish song he has learned that past week. and he will sing. no matter how terrible it sounds and how much it makes your ears bleed. though, you also always listen to those audios, even though you know what the content will be.

“jude?” opening your door after hearing a desperate knock, you did not think that you would see your [not] friend standing there. he looks tiredly at you, clothes wrinkled and sandals on, “mum wanted me to bring you some cake she baked.” he gives you the tupperware filled with slices of cake, energy low. you feel your shoulders relax as you look up at him, “tell her i love her, please.” he just nods. and even though he always complains to you about how he is not some delivery boy, he can’t help but get excited at the thought of seeing your soft eyes when you receive food his mum made. it makes him feel giddy inside.

he makes you trip purposely whenever you walk in front of him, and then giggles and jogs away to join the others on the field when you send daggers his way with your glare.

he forces you to play two-touch, even though you have told him multiple times already that you cannot play really well. he quite literally forces you to become better, giving you tips while making you pass the ball against the wall back and forth. “i don’t want to do this anymore, jude.” - “well, that’s too damn bad.” his gaze serious as he corrects your form once more. “bitch.” you murmur under your breath, praying for him to just disappear somewhere and leave you alone.

“what?” you ask as you look up from your notes, eyes wide as you watch jude place a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll onto your desk. “i heard that you like sweets, or whatever.” he says, [desperately] wanting to look cool. your heart starts to pick up in speed when you look back and forth between jude and the things he just gave you, warmth spreading through your body. “thanks.”

“watch me.” he smirks at you, who looks quite annoyed tired at him. “i’ll hit this first time.” - “like you did to me on my first day here?” - “dude! i told you not to talk about it anymore, ‘t’s a sensitive topic for me, ‘kay?”

heartfelt conversations between you are not as rare as one might think. whenever jude comes to you to talk your ear off while toi work on your research, you sometimes tell him about your own stuff. that leads to various topics you two discuss, which also results in sharing some intimate thoughts. it makes jude, who usually looks so confident and well put together, look more human, like a 20 year old guy who also learns something new every day.

—————————————

surpriseee! hope you like it!! :)

[gracelaurie]

My Man | (Patrick Wilson x Female Reader)

ONESHOOT. Warning : smut, unprotected sex, Reader is a mistress, Reader is younger (around 25 y.o)

➡️ masterlist

“Please calm down...” you said while calming the baby you were holding. To be honest, you actually like babies, you even dream of having a cute baby when you have a family someday. But for more than 3 months now you have been taking care of your aunt’s baby who cries very often and peed his pants, making you think twice again about having your own baby.

You replaced the pants he was wearing, and calmed him down. The baby’s eyes were big and blue, “So gorgeous.” You said in a low voice. Instantly the baby stopped crying. You grabbed the still warm bottle of milk and gave it to the baby. The baby quickly fell asleep in your arms while he was drinking his milk.

You heard the sound of the doorbell. You immediately get up from the sofa, put Vera Farmiga's baby gently in the baby box, you walked over to the door, then you open it.

“Oh, hi Y/N!” Vera said with a big smile, hugging you tightly, her husband from behind walked ahead of her to put some things away, “I’m so sorry because I left this house for 2 days, and thank you so much for take care of him while I wasn’t here. I'm really busy… I don't even sleep enough…”

“Don’t worry, I understand. You are an actress, I understand you are very busy with filming, etc. I’m the one that should be thankful, Aunt Vera… because you gave me this job when you knew that I'm literally unemployed after graduating from college.” You said as you walked with your aunt towards the living room.

Vera smiled at you, then she approached her baby, "You should have a bright future, Y/N. You can’t be a nanny for my baby forever.”

“No problem…besides, I’m happy to help you. After all, you are my only family in this city, I feel the need to help you, considering that you have been paying for my sister's school fees.” you said, sitting next to Vera.

“You’re a good kid, Y/N. You know, I have acquaintances to help you start your career, you know…” Vera said with a smile that signaled something to you.

“No, I can't...” you said softly refusing while lowering your head.

“Why not? You're still young, it's not too late if you want to have a career in acting.” Vera grabbed your shoulder, “I’m not forcing you, but I think you should think about it if you’re interested.”

“No, but thank you, aunt Vera,” you said while smiling faintly. This is not without reason, you cannot accept the job, it is very risky.

Not because you are shy or doubt your abilities. To be honest, you could do all the work, because of your enterprising nature and totality in doing a job... but you can't let yourself to be an actress.

You are Patrick Wilson’s only mistress. Yes, he is Vera's co-worker. The Conjuring universe films- which they starred, were certainly successful.

This whole affair started 5 years ago. When your aunt Vera took you to the premiere of the film Anabelle Comes Home. That’s where you first met Patrick Wilson. Of course you didn’t become his mistress at that time, but you guys have shown interest, by looking at each other. However, Patrick was reluctant to talk more closely with you considering that you were Vera's nephew, and at that time you were still around 20 years old.

A few months after that, you met him at a bar. You, who was very drunk at that time, seduced Patrick and you two had sex afterwards. You swore that you would never fuck with someone else’s husband again, even though Patrick had a big-hard cock, and he fucked you really good that night. but you still feel guilty and try not to see him again.

But fate says otherwise, you meet him again in random places. When he was exercising, you saw his shirtless body, he was sweaty and sexy. And yes for the second time, he fucked you in the warehouse where you worked part-time while you were still in college.

He inserted his hard-wet cock to your pussy, mixed with the sweat on his body. But that’s not the end of it.

Since then, Patrick bought another phone specifically to contact you. He knows that if he uses the phone he usually uses, his wife will always check and of course that won’t make your affair last for more than 4 years.

That night Vera offered to stay at her house for the night considering that it was already late. But you politely refused, because you felt uncomfortable staying overnight at your aunt’s house again.

You walked through the night carrying your tote bag and wearing a thick scarf around your neck. The distance between Vera's house and your apartment is not too far, maybe because you prefer walking rather than taking public transportation, so you don’t have a problem walking for 30 minutes.

When you arrived at your apartment and opened the door to your room, you were surprised to see who was currently in your bedroom.

You saw Patrick still wearing his formal suit, he was standing beside the bed, staring at you sharply as if he was going to devour you right there.

“I left my wife and kids at home to see you tonight. I can't sleep, I can't work professionally, I’m a mess, I keep thinking about you.”

When you were about to reply to his words, Patrick quickly walked over to you, “I hope it’s all worth it. What’s inside me is like there’s no sign of life when we haven’t met, when I haven’t fuck you so hard.”

You and Patrick haven’t seen each other for the last 2 weeks because he was busy with work and spending time with his family. But what you see is the unhappiness shown on his face.

You were everything to Patrick, apart from sex. He really loves you, now that’s the problem. You both truly love each other. It wasn’t fair to his wife, but you couldn’t do anything, you were weak towards Patrick, you felt that you would be like this forever.

You dropped your tote bag on the floor, grabbed Patrick’s face and you two kissed. Patrick removed the scarf that was around your neck, he continued to kiss you as he carried you and placed you on the soft and comfortable bed.

Patrick took off his suit and tie with a rough movement. He kissed you aggressively and intensely. You kissed Patrick while holding his chest, then he removed his lips from yours, and opened your clothes and skirt.

Patrick kissed your neck hungrily, he cupped your breasts, “I love the color,” Patrick whispered as he rubbed your lacy red bra, “but I would rather see you completely naked.” Patrick took off your bra, then your panties.

Patrick licks your nipples while inserting his big-hard cock into your vagina.

You moaned as he started to fuck you on top. This time without foreplay, he fucks you so roughly and fast. “I've been waiting for this for a long time, you know that, slut?” said Patrick in a breathless voice.

You can feel, he’s already come in your vagina, but he doesn't remove his hard-cock from your vagina at all, he’s continues to fuck you.

He grabbed both of your legs then lifted your legs up, while speeding up his movements from before.

Patrick fucked harder while you moaning out loud. He kissed your thigh where your leg was now on his shoulder, “Fuck Y/N. I can’t let you sleep until morning.”

You can feel your bed sheets starting to get wet. you screamed, “Patrick…. I was a virgin before you fucked me the first time.” you said, which somehow came out of your mouth in the middle of your climax.

“I didn't know that." Patrick said then he kissed your neck very aggressively and bit your neck.

“…and I've never fucked anyone but you." you said while groaning in pain.

“I should’ve realized that." Patrick said then the two of you come together. But Patrick come inside. This is something he has never done before to you, because he doesn’t want to get you pregnant.

But hearing that you’re a virgin who has never fucked a man other than himself, it makes Patrick release a lot of sperm inside you.

“Forgive me,” Patrick whispered in your ear, he hugged your body and kissed your cheek gently.

“It’s okay Patrick, I can take the pills,” you said, touching Patrick's hair.

“I won’t force you to do that, Y/N,” Patrick replied, he looked at your face seriously, “I know you work as Vera’s babysitter all this time, I know you don’t have the heart to do it.”

You just stay silent. Honestly, what Patrick said is true, you are a typical woman who has a motherly heart, you wouldn’t have the heart to abort your pregnancy if you have Patrick’s baby.

“Hey, it’s up to you, okay, I don't want to burden you, you’re everything to me,” said Patrick looking at your worried face, “If you want to have the baby, I'll be responsible.”

“What responsibility? You will secretly support me and my child while you are still taking care of your child and your wife?”

“No...” Patrick lowered his head, “I haven't told you, have I?”

You don’t understand what he means.

“You haven't checked the news for the past 2 weeks?”Patrick asked then you shook your head, “I divorced my wife for you. We agreed to keep the reasons for our divorce a secret from the public, even though she initially didn't agree. Child custody is in her hands, we can start our relationship from the beginning.”

You smiled at his statement, then you two kissed in the middle of the sparkling night.

You know your relationship might surprise many people, but you are ready to face it all with Patrick by your side.

He’s your man now. Yours.

[prying-pandora666]

On Alucard and Maria

Are there actually fans advocating for Alucard to be written as Maria’s father figure in the new season of Nocturne? Like that would be a good thing and not infinitely creepier? I don’t think they’ve thought this through.

Alucard is the single most popular character in the franchise. He’s also probably the most shipped character. And yet he has only had one canon love interest in the decades since he’s existed. It’s Maria. And you’re telling me that you think that because he’s 300+ and she’s 17-18 when they started living together in the games, that it would be grooming. However, somehow him inserting himself into her life at age 16 when she’s just lost both her parents wouldn’t come off like grooming!?

Does this man look like he should be picking up random children!? He’s literally terrified of his own cursed blood. Maybe LISTEN TO HIM.

I’m convinced fandoms have forgotten what that word means. Grooming has specific features. It doesn’t just mean “older guy and younger girl.” A relationship with an age gap or an uneven power dynamic can be exploitative or abusive without being a case of grooming. Grooming specifically refers to the process of forming a relationship with a child with the intention of leveraging that relationship and trust to train and prepare (aka brainwash) your victim for the harmful activities the groomer wants to normalize. The relationship Alucard and Maria have in the games is in no way grooming. You know what would be grooming though?

Coming into a 16 year old’s life when she’s vulnerable, traumatized, and recently orphaned only to insinuate yourself as a new father figure. This is so highly inappropriate and a huge red flag. Consider what you’re actually asking for here. These characters do not exist in a a vacuum. They have a long history together as each other’s only canon love interests. You cannot fully extract them from the games, art, interviews, audio dramas, animations, and more where they’re depicted as a couple. There are decades of this precedent and you are asking Netflix to knowingly take the characters with an established romantic dynamic that the audience is already primed to see as romantic and instead portray their meeting as him trying to be her new daddy?

“Oh look! Alucard and his… daughter? Yikes.” This is an official advertisement btw.

THAT is grooming! Think about the optics of this! It would be abysmal! No it would NOT fix the problem of their age gap to make him act like a groomer and get in good with her as a dad. You just cannot completely extract them from the legacy of their relationship in the source materials. It will be incredibly creepy and textbook grooming if you get your way.

Is this really what you want to associate with an “adoptive father Alucard”? Because the art we create doesn’t exist in a vacuum. All the old content—official and fanmade—is still going to exist.

What is so objectionable about the original dynamic anyway? It’s a pretty fun subversion of the tired and problematic vampire trope of “vampire man stalks teen girl and coerces her into being his”. Instead in their original relationship, Maria is the one who pursues Alucard! It’s the young woman who takes initiative and is given the agency to go after what she wants. She courts and woos him. That’s part of the fun!

Yes, Alucard is 300+. He’s also a fictional creature that doesn’t actually exist IRL and stays eternally young. There are no actual people who will ever have his problem of staying 20 forever so it’s rather silly to say he can’t date any humans because of course he will have an age gap with any of them.

The only real problem I have seen people bring up is Maria’s age, but from what I can tell, the show’s already fixed this. Check it out.

In The Games

Rondo of Blood: Maria is 12. She and Alucard do not meet. Richter is a brother-figure and not romantic.

There is then a 5 year time skip.

Symphony of the Night: Maria is 17. She and Alucard meet to save Richter. At the end, Alucard says his goodbyes and intends to return to a life of solitude. Maria goes after him because she has developed feelings for him and doesn’t want him to suffer a life alone.

Maria is given agency to pursue what she wants and prove herself even against Alucard’s resistance and hesitance to let another person into his life.

They spend a year together before we get the audio drama.

Nocturne of Remembrance: Maria continues to try to get close to Alucard. They end up saving each other’s lives and in the end he finally confesses his romantic feelings for her. She is an adult and perfectly able to make her own choices. She chose him. He admits he returns her feelings.

How fandom can look at a story about a young woman subverting the trope and chasing the vampire to get what she wants—basically an anti-Bella Swan—and still find a way to disempower her just so they can pearl clutch? I couldn’t tell you.

So now let’s look at what the show did.

In The Show

Nocturne S1: Maria is 16. She’s been aged up from 12, probably to give her a more active and believable role. But this also means she’s within a normal age to start feeling attraction and expressing her wants. Within her society, she’s even considered of marriageable age. However we are spared the discomfort of our modern values clashing with her contemporaneous ones because Maria in this season isn’t interested in romance. She’s interested in revolution, equality, justice. They’ve portrayed her with so much love and strength. There is no indication they’d betray her by writing her as the child victim of a male suitor. In fact she only meets Alucard in the final few seconds of the season and the two do not even speak a single word to one another.

Now let’s remember the games had a five year time skip. The show only needs two years to get Maria to the adult age of 18, but assuming the follow through with the timeline and go for the full five?

Maria will be 21.

21.

Fan concept for adult Maria. Credit:@esp-art

Are you telling me a 21 year old woman is not old or mature enough to make her own decisions? How is this not a total infantilization of women? Do you think a 21 year old badass vampire hunter needs protection from the ace depressed dhampir boy who just wants to sleep and has in no way tried to pursue her until after she expressed consistent and persistent interest in him?

It is not “grooming” to meet someone when they were younger and then meet them again years later as an adult. That’s a thing that happens! In real life! Adults can still make decisions for themselves! It is only grooming if Alucard behaved in a way that would manipulate teen Maria and put her under his control and authority before she can consent. There is no indication that Alucard in the show is going to do this. And yet the fandom is basically demanding it by saying he should make her “his baby girl”?

And what of Maria’s feelings in all this? She just lost her mother and was betrayed by her father shortly after discovering he even existed. She has lived her whole life without a father. She is in no desperate need of a new one. And if she does need a family member, she already has one! Richter is 19 and is her trusted adoptive brother. Why wouldn’t she go to him over a total stranger she just met and who is half vampire - literally a predator creature that feeds on humans!?

Yeah, hi, Richter Belmont still exists. He and Maria consider each other family. Why would you want her relying on a strange man she just met as a “father figure” rather than her trusted and loving brother?

Have none of you even considered how Maria would feel if Alucard even tried to fill the paternal role? He’d have to force it on her through manipulation and coercion. No way she would want to view him that way. Especially considering she is 16 and likely to be as attracted to the sparkly 20 year old looking sculpted marble beauty as anyone else!

Don’t mind the beautiful eternally young man who looks made of pure porcelain and light. No teen girl has ever been attracted to this, right? No way it could be exploitative and creepy for him to present himself as her new daddy, giving himself authority and influence over her as his child to mold as he wishes, right? Oh yeah, this is MUCH better than Maria pursuing him of her own volition once she becomes an adult, right guys?

We are truly in the stupidest dark timeline.

Frankly, I don’t care if Netflix has them get together or not. They would work just fine as friends too. I just sure as hell hope they’ll ignore the fans clamoring for a creepy daddy/daughter dynamic. Dressing it up as “concern” won’t hide that for some it’s a fetish, and for others they’re just useful idiots who haven’t thought it through.

I implore you to think it through.

[dr-spectre]

MY SPLATOON OCS!!!

Imma share my Splatoon ocs with you all. I have 6 of them to share and i hope you guys like them. I'll show you what their main outfit is, their secondary outfit, general info, likes, dislikes, favourite idols, stuff like that!

THIS IS A VERY LONG POST SO KEEP THAT IN MIND! I HAVE WARNED YOU!!!!!!!!!!

YOU READY?!? ENJOY!

Sunny

Age: 19, She/Her, Sexuality: Lesbian

Sunny is a 19 year old inkling who attends university. She's very peppy, energetic, outgoing and emotionally intelligent as she's able to pick up on peoples emotions very quickly. Sunny has a large circle of acquaintances but a small group of people she would actually consider friends. Her days are very busy as she juggles between university, hanging out with friends, engaging in hobbies and being with her mum, dad and younger sister.

Although she may seem bubbly and happy on the surface, deep down she has tons of spiraling thoughts in her head that she constantly tries to shut down by keeping herself busy, which leads to her being exhausted after each day. She cannot handle darkness and pure silence and needs nightlights and white noise to help her sleep.

Likes:

Shopping

Dress up

Fighting games

90s style Anime (not actual 90s anime, just anime in the style from our 90s in the splatoon world)

Sports/outdoor activities

Ice cold drinks and spicey food

Dislikes:

Bugs

Darkness

Cold weather

Birds

Loneliness

Country music

Favourite weapon: Hero shot

Favourite sub weapon: Burst Bomb

Favourite special: Trizooka

Favourite Idol: Frye - Loves her feisty personality and rooting for an underdog. She managed to grab a selfie with her out of sheer luck and has kept that photo ever since in her locker.

Fun trivia: She was the second Splatoon oc i came up with, i used a female Inkling for Splatoon 3 at launch and after making a gear set for competitive play, the idea of Sunny came into my brain and she was slowly developed from there.

V

Age: 20, He/Him, Sexuality: Heterosexual

V is a 20 year old Inkling who used to live in Inkopolis before moving to Splatsville after the Final Fest as it was cheaper to live there. He is quite shy and non-talkative most of the time and he genuinely likes to be by himself. However that doesn't mean he is rude, he's very caring and compassionate but he's not the best at expressing that kindness due to poor social skills.

He spends a lot of time in ranked matches to earn money where he grew a name for himself and his aggressive playstyle with his main being the Roller class. V used to do Salmon Runs as well before quitting after it became too stressful for him. When he's not doing turf war matches or ranked, he loves to lounge about, playing video games, listening to music and engaging in Idol content.

However, V is quite sensitive and any sort of comment or judgement from teammates in matches will make him shut himself off and try his hardest not to cry. He also has anger issues and can let his anger get the best of him. Due to him overusing the Kraken Royale special in matches, it gave him... unwanted side effects...

If he becomes too angry he will transform into a kraken and go on a rampage. Another side effect from abusing the Kraken Royale special is that he also has the ability to grow squid tentacles from anywhere on his body which he can control like arms. Although he doesn't use this ability in matches as it would get him into trouble.

Likes:

Video games/Video game collecting

High paced music (Drum and Bass)

Photography

Painting

Cold weather

Milkshakes

Dislikes:

Condescending people

Tight clothing

Flying insects

Most vegetables

Splattercolour screen

Unexpected routine changes

Favourite weapon: Splat Roller

Favourite sub weapon: Splat Bomb

Favourite special: Kraken Royale

Favourite Idol: Callie - Is a massive fan of hers and has tons of merch of her. His friends make fun of him for his obsession which makes V feel incredibly embarrassed and blush like no tomorrow. He sleeps with a Callie plushie every night to help himself fall asleep.

He even got to meet her during his birthday when he was out with some friends in Inkopolis Plaza. He was stuttering and was extremely nervous when talking to her, but Callie just wished him a happy birthday, gave him a hug and her signature on the inner part of his visor. She even told him that if he wants someone to talk to he can just knock on the window at Inkopolis Plaza, and he did just that the next day.

Fun trivia: V was the first Splatoon oc i made. He is based off of the Inkling i used to rock in Splatoon 2 and i developed a character based on that. the name "V" comes from the animal, vampire squid. The kraken and tentacle abilities he has are inspired by the Venom symbiote in Spider-Man media and the classic Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde dynamic in media.

Hapalo

Age: 21, He/Him, Sexuality: Asexual

Hapalo is a 21 year old Octoling born in the Octarian domes and was brought to the surface with his family when he was VERY young. He is a kind soul and brings a gentle vibe with him. He is very interested in Inkling culture and loves exploring and consuming new art, writing, movies, tv shows, music, etc. whenever he can. He also does poetry and other forms of writing to express himself. He even won writing competitions at school at Inkopolis and he still keeps those cheap plastic medals up on his wall.

Hapalo also works at a library where he sorts books and manages things. He sometimes reads stories to young Inklings and Octolings and he's always delighted to interact with them. He even sometimes sneaks in milk cartons for all of the kids when his supervisor isn't looking.

However, Hapalo is very against getting into arguments and anything too overwhelming. Anything that disrupts his chill mood makes him incredibly upset and he needs to be alone to calm down. He's also very sensitive to certain sounds, smells, tastes and textures.

Likes:

Writing

Movie nights

Sushi

Swimming (in Ink pools... not water)

Birds

Tableturf card collecting

Dislikes:

Arguments

Drinks with solids in them

Mayonnaise

Crowded spaces

Social media

Unorganised areas

Favourite weapon: Snipewriter 5H

Favourite sub weapon: Sprinkler

Favourite special: Tacticooler

Favourite Idol: Marina - Finds her cute and loves her style of music. He also finds some relatability in her as she's also an Octoling. He got to meet her during the Final Fest and they talked about Inkling and Octoling culture and art.

Fun trivia: Hapalo's name is based on the scientific name for a blue-ringed octopus Hapalochlaena lunulata. I came up with the idea of him based on the male Octoling that i used to use in Splatoon 2, however i only started developing him months back.

Bloom

Age: 20, She/Her, Sexuality: Bisexual

Bloom is a 20 year old Octoling who grew up in a chaotic household in Eeltail Alley with five younger brothers and a mother who has gotten pretty sick. She is pure chaos incarnate, she's extremely energetic, excitable, sassy and is always looking to get rough and dirty. Bloom is always out and about, riding an old motorbike, rock climbing and sneaking into gyms to work out for free as the memberships are too expensive for her. She even attends motorbike races and dirt bike competitions as a racer which gives her some decent cash.

Although she still comes home on time to take of her brothers and her mother. She has a kind heart but she won't miss an opportunity to push peoples buttons which can land her into trouble.

Bloom also has an interest in the water ever since she was a kid. She would often put her finger and other limbs in bodies of water to see how they would react to it.

However, she often acts very jokey and silly with others in order to hide pain she's feeling. Bloom worries about her mother constantly and dooms over if something bad is gonna happen to her and her brothers. She'll tend to isolate herself from others or be overly attached to her friends.

Likes:

Her family

Old machinery

Motorcycles

Working out

Dancing

Fizzy drinks

Dislikes:

School

Winter clothes

Sleep

Really sterile places

Charger mains

Choc mint ice cream

Favourite weapon: Luna Blaster

Favourite sub weapon: Fizzy Bomb

Favourite special: Zipcaster

Favourite Idol: Pearl - She loves listening to her raps and enjoys her spunky energy. Bloom managed to meet Pearl when Off the Hook were touring near Splatsville. Pearl took a breather and that's when Bloom found her and said how much she loves her music and how she's a big fan. Pearl was a little put off by her energy at first but eventually warmed up to the excited Octoling and gave her a fist bump and a thank you.

Fun trivia: Her name is based off of a name for a group of jellyfish. I decided to base her name from that because the colour and hair choice i picked for her reminded me of jellyfish.

Lilly

Age: 18, She/Her, Sexuality: Bisexual

Lilly is an 18 year old Inkling who is the younger sister to Sunny. She is sort of a shut in and spends most of her time indoors on her PC. She used to be talkative at school, but over years of bullying and being talked down to by everyone, she became a recluse and avoids going outside due to anxiety and a skin condition that makes her sensitive to sunlight so she always brings an umbrella with her when going out on a bright day.

Lilly is a digital artist and hoarder of random technology, ranging from old laptops, hard drives, video game consoles and rhythm game controllers like guitars and DJ turntables. She runs a website where she takes commissions, although she doesn't get much money it's still pretty good cash. She doesn't attend school and still lives with her parents.

She can be quite cheeky and has a weird way with her words that make interacting her feel... off. She can also be quite perverted in her speech but she won't push any boundaries if the other person is uncomfortable by her.

Likes:

Technology

Drawing

Rhythm games

Coffee

Anime

Her older sister Sunny

Dislikes:

Outdoor activities

Sunlight

Fruit

Vegetables

Hot weather

Very outgoing people

Favourite weapon: Recycled Brella

Favourite sub weapon: Autobomb

Favourite special: Crab Tank

Favourite Idol: Marie - Finds her extremely attractive and cool. She was her sexual awakening when she saw Marie dance from a video online. Lilly even purchased a giant Marie plushie to snuggle with and has kept hidden from her family in her cluttered closet.

Fun trivia: Lilly is based off of Futaba Sakura from Persona 5. I wanted to have a character that is similar to her, down to the colour choice and personality.

Shinobu

Age: 22, She/Her, Sexuality: Heterosexual

Shinobu is a 22 year old Octoling who grew up in the Octarain domes. She always had trouble in school and was talked down to by her instructors and parents. She was told to "be more disciplined! Be like other Octolings! Stop being lazy!" She was even physically abused by her parents and decided enough was enough and ran away to the surface at age 13, determined to leave her old life behind and start a new.

She quickly adapted to Inkling culture and learnt the language at an insane speed, all fueled by the pain of her past. In fact she adapted so quickly people often mistook her as an Inkling. Shinobu learnt the ways of turf war and discovered a new obsession and career path, music production. She grew a name for herself as an indie music artist and currently has 3 albums with 13 songs in each. She has a unique musical style that involves sampling the Idols' vocals and making tracks that blend jungle drum and bass, and pop.

She also became obsessed with fashion and is always constantly making new outfits for herself. Shinobu also has a rare disorder that affects the pigment in her ink which causes it to switch between purple and pink at random. Although it doesn't cause her any pain fortunately.

Shinobu is bold, highly determined and sure of herself. She cannot be manipulated or mind controlled. You give her the hypnoshades? She ain't getting hypnotised. You give her the Controller VM? Nothing will happen. However if she hears the Calamari Inkantation she can't help herself and starts dancing like crazy.

She has a chill demeanor and never lies no matter what, she is always compelled to tell the truth even if it'll hurt her or the other person. She is also very empathic and understanding of others and will always be there for her friends and the ones she loves.

Shinobu also has a very excited side to her when alone or with someone she's very close with. She has a huge smile on her face, is very touchy and is giddy.

However she often suffers from nightmares and anxiety which cause her to not get very much sleep. She's sort of a night owl and not by choice...

Likes:

Reading

Plushies

Tea

Roller skating

Pajamas

Tableturf card battles

Dislikes:

Small or cramped spaces

Heavy metal music

Sand

Public transport

Loud sounds

Messy places

Favourite weapon: Splatana Stamper and Charcoal Decavitator

Favourite sub weapon: Burst Bomb

Favourite special: Inkjet

Favourite Idol: Shiver - Loves her style of singing and how she's a shark tamer. She often watches videos of her performances and gets all giddy and yells when Shiver does kakegoe.

Fun trivia: Shinobu is based off of the character of the same name in No More Heroes, Shinobu. I wanted to make a Splatoon oc that was a cool fighter that wields a Splatana and i developed the idea from there.

Sunny's relationships

V: Solid friends

Hapalo: Good acquaintances but nothing too special

Bloom: BESTIES!

Lilly: Love her to death

Shinobu: Thinks she has cool style

V's relationships

Sunny: Cool gal

Hapalo: Friend since school

Bloom: Likes her energy

Lilly: Think she's funny and a good time on voice calls

Shinobu: Girlfriend, loves her a ton : )

Hapalo's relationships

Sunny: Likes her positive attitude

V: Hope he's doing okay

Bloom: Not on good terms after an... incident at the library...

Lilly: Impressed by her art skills

Shinobu: Feels bad for her

Bloom's relationships

Sunny: BESTIES!!!!!!!!!!

V: Feels like he should open up more but he's still a nice friend

Hapalo: Doesn't like him. Aside from his hair

Lilly: Thinks she's a little weird...

Shinobu: Doesn't like her attitude but feels sorry for her past

Lilly's relationships

Sunny: Little jealous of her but still loves her

V: A good friend to play games with

Hapalo: Doesn't understand how he thinks her art is good...

Bloom: A bit put off by her energy...

Shinobu: Big fan of her music work

Shinobu's relationships

Sunny: Thinks she's nice but is worried about her busy life

V: Boyfriend, loves his gentle and quiet energy

Hapalo: Likes his writing and can relate to him somewhat

Bloom: Respects her love for her family

Lilly: Thinks her art is great and that she should be more confident

Splashtags

Okay that is it for my Splatoon OCS! If you wish to... i dont knowww... draw any of them..... 👉👈 then DM me and i can give you better looks at them!

THANK YOU FOR READING!

[aquickstart]

do you guys ever think about how out of them all farleigh was the next real thing. felix haunted the hallways of saltburn with his electric rays of light of naiveté, not malicious but borne of wealth and shelter, and oliver reached for that light like it was the sun. the cattons were adjacent, fantastical islands of that pool of light, and oliver was a drying plant that never saw the real thing and mistook a lamp for a life. an insidious parasitic vine, it's his nature. he offered felix the attention, the quiet adoration, he offered the other cattons the stares, the touch, the longing. and felix was a fantasy, a ghost since day one, a promise of warmth.

but farleigh was there. he was real. he was burning with anger and rage and boiling just beneath the skin. and it irritated oliver, it made him feel something that he couldn't control, and he couldn't control farleigh because he had nothing to offer him: not attention, because farleigh could see right through that front, not control, because you cannot control a 20-year-old incessant fire, not the surrender of it because power and wealth has been a low-hanging, spoiled fruit for farleigh, he yearns for and despises it, he has no desire for it.

killing off a lamplight is painfully reversable, mundane, easy; switch on and off at will, you will not feel a moral dillemma. it is in oliver's nature. but farleigh was real. and what can you do, accustomed to imitation of heat, when met with the raging warmth of life? do you guys think that alive and angry, farleigh was the next real thing. do you think he must live because oliver must know that there is a life at all. do you think

[always-is-always]

As much as I/we miss the guys, I personally feel that their time in the military is a BIG gift. Time away from the public eye, cameras, media, and all of that stuff...

Especially Jimin-ah and Jungkook-ah. I would dare say that this is the longest amount of time that they have had away from the public, away from invasive cameras, and at the same time sharing the same space. Yeah, it's the military, but they are TOGETHER as companions. 18 months, together. Sleeping next to each other every night, together. Eating meals, together. Yeah. Together together.

Yes, I miss them. And, at the same time I can't put my feelings above the fact that they are getting a well needed break from us/ARMYs, and from the heavy burden of being BTS. It's like they are having the experience of being regular Human Beings, for 18 months.

I think that many of us forget just how unusual life has been for those seven men. Beginning when they were teens or in their early 20's. They have in no way had a normal experience of growing up, into adulthood. The intensity of training, the chaos of sharing living space with each other, and the exposure to CAMERAS 24/7. (Who on earth can live with cameras in every room recording you 24/7??? No privacy???) Not to mention staff being in their space, every single day. Being in the public eye when you don't even know who you are inside of yourself is hard. It can really mess you up, emotionally, mentally, and if you start numbing with alcohol and drugs then it messes you up physically as well... not to mention the Spirit and Soul levels of it all...

The expectations that they have lived with are massive. Put that on the shoulders of a 15 year old, or a 20 year old for any length of time and it has an impact. I personally think it is sad, what they have had to get through, just to be who they are as BTS. All the money in the world cannot give them back the moments of innocence, their ability to be normal guys going through puberty, and to be just regular Humans with regular challenges.

So yeah, I think that this little "sabbatical" that is their military service, is a huge gift. It was the only way that any of them would get any length of time away from the public eye. It was the only way for them to have any length of time just being Human.

While it is exciting for the coming arrival of Jin after he is discharged, I also recognize what he is stepping back into. Being the only member out until October when Hobi returns means that he will be taking on a huge energetic pressure. It will be quite an adjustment for him, like a reverse culture-shock. It will take him some time to really get used to being back out, though we will probably never hear him speak of it.

Jin is brave, to put it mildly. I hope he has all the support he needs, as he transitions out into the public, again.

Circling back to Jimin and jungkook... I do miss them and sometimes wish for some little crumb of something. And at the same time I recognize just how precious this time away is, for them. We are going to see a next-level bond between them, when they return.

In the meantime, happy 2024 FESTA, ya'll! 💜💜💜

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 11)

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by jackhughes, nicohischier, and 251,869 others

y/ndevils00 well… that was painful

welcome back to my post-game recap! if you don’t know who i am because you’ve been living under a rock, or you’ve been in jail (don’t do crimes unless you can get away with them), i’m y/n! or as my boyfriend calls me, ‘dove’! i work as the social media manager for one of the sluttiest teams (and maybe the worst this season…) in the National Hockey League: the New Jersey Devils!

let get into it! your favorite (or maybe least favorite. i wouldn’t blame you!) men from hell lost 4-6 against the patriotic old guys tonight…. i can’t say i wasn’t surprised

we had an absolutely scoreless (and sinless) first period on our end, transitioning into intermission down by 3!

but second period is when we really started heating up! we got FOUR lovely goals by THREE lovely people!!

starting with uncle Toffee!! who scored our first AND our fourth goal!! he’s been so queen girlboss slay recently! who knew he would be this good?! not me! i doubted him severely! (i cannot apologize for my previous thoughts about you uncle, i can only ask you to forgive me anyways because you took my DILH and i’m still recovering)

Timo the absolute Tank Engine got us our second goal of the night with his first goal of the season! and no penalties!! i feel like a proud mother to a usually extremely horribly behaved little boy 🥹

and of course, my favorite whore, my very best swiss, my least favorite kind of cheese; captain slut got our third goal of the night!! THAT’S MY HOE!! POP OFF! (he also got a penalty tonight but i’ve opted not to show that because he paid me $20)

and i could never forget to mention that my beautiful angel of a bad bitch, Rowdy, got an assist on THREE out of four of our goals tonight!! he’s only 3 points away from 20 points already!! THAT’S MY (baby)GIRL!

and third period is when we immediately went as cool as the ice they skate on… giving up three goals (including an empty netter to the oldest looking man alive)… we got no goals of our own and my sweet baby angel face bestie number 1 got a penalty for being too perfect 😔

all-in-all, let’s wish the boys luck against the sabres on friday because apparently they need it! i think friday’s enemy gave them some pretty good advice though and they should put it to use!

p.s. ikea baby and merc-dog are my exact reactions to how badly we played in the third

p.p.s. ovi… when i catch you ovi 🥊😑

tagged john.marino97, tofff73, tmeier96, nicohischier, jackhughes, lhughes_06, jesperbratt, and dawson1417

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jackhughes dove, baby, what is that abomination of a 5th photo?

y/ndevils00 my camera wouldn’t focus :(

jackhughes so why post it?

y/ndevils00 you don’t appreciate my talents

jackhughes i can assure you, i appreciate your talents plenty. photo taking is just usually not one of them

lhughes_06 gross

user29 did she just threaten OVECHKIN?! 😭

user17 i fear we may lose these updates after this threat 😪

jesperbratt what was i 😦 at?

y/ndevils00 i honestly couldn’t tell you— i was too busy wondering the best way to fit you in my pocket

john.marino97 i got a picture?!

y/ndevils00 you got an assist and no penalties!

john.marino97 but dawson got a penalty and no assists and still got a picture?

y/ndevils00 you’re not dawson, the standards for you are different

john.marino97 i’ve known you for 4 years and this is how i get treated? DAWSON HAS ONLY KNOWN YOU FOR 2!

y/ndevils00 you tattle on me, you deserve your treatment

dawson1417 she’s got you there, bud

tofff73 you doubted me?!

y/ndevils00 in my defense, i didn’t know you were chill like that

tofff73 jack has informed me that you cried at the trade, i forgive your doubts

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes YOU’RE TELLING HIM MY SECRETS?!

jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 i wasn’t aware that you usually blast your “secrets” on your instagram story

user81 the random luke picture… y/n loves her smush 🥹

tmeier96 did you just call me a tank engine?

tmeier96 also, i’m OLDER than you!

y/ndevils00 that was a compliment! i’m saying you’re built!

tmeier96 you’re a funny little thing

y/ndevils00 also yes you are older— i said i FELT like a proud mother, not that i AM one. i already have one reckless child at home, i don’t want another

jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 she’s a cat.

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes SHE IS OUR BABY

trevorzegras you love testing how far you can push before you get a warning for your behavior, don’t you?

y/ndevils00 i learned from you 🫶

trevorzegras you’re a cockroach

y/ndevils00 all i’m hearing is that i’m resilient and can live through anything

trevorzegras i hate you

y/ndevils00 you WISH you hated me— if you really did then you wouldn’t facetime me twice a week

nicohischier there are so many things i take issue with about my paragraph

y/ndevils00 is it that it’s not long enough? i’m sorry, i’ll make it longer next time!

nicohischier please DON’T.

lhughes_06 ya know, you were a lot nicer before i joined the team

y/ndevils00 oh good! that means i’m doing this right!

lhughes_06 doing what right?

y/ndevils00 tough love!

dawson1417 i didn’t do anything :(

y/ndevils00 i know, sugarplum!

dawson1417 they jailed me…

y/ndevils00 i can’t imagine how traumatic that must’ve been for you

dawson1417 oh it wasn’t that bad, you were in there too

y/ndevils00 yeah…. lindy put me there in 2nd intermission. he said if i wouldn’t stop chirping the capitals as though i was a player, then i needed to be treated like a player and get a penalty…. then i couldn’t get out because the game started again

dawson1417 you can’t skate, how did you get in?

y/ndevils00 i was betrayed

nicohischier @/y/ndevils00 i stand by it.

y/ndevils00 @/nicohischier YOU ALMOST DROPPED ME TWICE

nicohischier those were on purpose.

dawson1417 and how did you get out?

y/ndevils00 my knight in shining armor!

jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 i didn’t get you out?

jesperbratt i did!

jackhughes oh, yeah, that makes sense

[shinsorokiri]

y’know i know a lot of people talk about how they love shane and seb because they’re the damaged men in the game, and like same 100%, but i also see a lot of people kinda dismiss sam as a golden retriever, positive, happy character. but if you really think about it, sam fits into the same category as seb and shane too. like:

1. his mother expresses multiple times to the farmer that although she loves her children, she very much longs to have a life where she doesn’t have to constantly worry about kids. in a way a part of her deep down wishes that sam and vincent didn’t really exist and it tears her apart and vincent isn’t necessarily old enough to grasp the concept, but sam is and you know he notices it. this is the woman who raised him and (i at least headcanon him) as someone who is very observant. he definitely notices these behaviors coming from her. and idk about you, but having an inkling that your mother is unhappy with her life in any capacity would really screw me up personally.

2. his father went to WAR. like fully went to war and i’m thinking he was in the army for 2 and a half years at least because he has a corporal badge (even though it’s upside down) but that means that he was away for bootcamp, then deployed, and if sam is around what? like 19? 20? that means that he became the “man of the household” at 17 or 18. Because I personally believe Kent was away for three to three and a half years. Bootcamp for about 10 weeks, straight to a base for more training, and it seems as though the active war made it so he got deployed into action fairly quickly. So, not only did Sam have an absence where his father should have been during the years he became a young adult, but he has to adjust to his father coming back and struggling with PTSD and quite honestly being shellshocked. (i also believe kent was honorably discharged, meaning something bad happened to him in the war. perhaps it was the same event where he lost many of his friends, but i fully believe the war is still ongoing even when kent returns to the valley considering the traveling merchant is still smuggling things into the town.) all the memories he had of kent are just memories now because his father will never be the same as he was before. And sam KNOWS that! even vince notices it!

3. he’s literally a rebellious skater kid, one of his heart events is him getting in trouble WITH THE MAYOR because he’s skating where he’s not supposed to, AND he purposely tries to sabotage the soup for the potluck and leads in community service hours. he’s a teenage dirtbag baby! a misunderstood edgy kid who acts out because he doesn't know how to express his feelings! and on top of that, with his adhd he’s even more misunderstood and people don’t take him seriously at all. he gets scolded for things that he seemingly just can’t help all the time and that just hurts him and makes him act out even more.

4. sam is also a damaged individual - he’s just better at masking it. seb embraces the darkness and accepts that he is an outcast and doesn’t try to hide the fact he is. shane struggles with addiction and depression publicly and it’s not negative necessarily, but he can’t hide it from anyone. sam has a warped idea that he cannot show his ailments, physical or mental because he needs to be strong for his little brother and give an example of what he believes a man should be (and because of the patriarchal society he lives in he doesn’t know that he can be vulnerable because no one told him because the man who would have been able to explain that to him during the years he really needed to hear it wasn’t there). i fear he suffers a bit from toxic positivity and desperately tries to rely on hobbies to distract him from his reality. 

long story short, sam is not just a silly guy, he has depth. i mean come on, he's best friends with sebastian for a reason! they’re similar in ways! he just doesn’t know how to talk about or express it. all this to say, sam is an interesting and deep character that shouldn’t be written off immediately by people.

sam supremacy! lmao

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/749333039047442432/httpsolderthannetfictumblrcompost74884185043?source=share

I do know the type of guys this anon is talking about, and they are concerningly common in certain subsects of fandom(s). They sit and try to conflate fiction with reality by doing the following. They claim loli content exists because the age of consent in Japan is 14 (or younger)*, so that means Japanese law thinks it's totally fine for 30+ year old men to be with 14 year old girls. Some of them then go on to explain how the US law should be like that, or talk about wishing they could move to Japan. To state the obvious, this is deeply rooted in ignorance, racism, sexism, etc. The guys are creeps who want a young girl irl, since she wouldn't necessarily know the signs of a creep and wouldn't know he should be actually contributing as a partner.

The problem is: They'd be just as big of creeps if loli content didn't exist. They'd find something, anything, else to grasp at.

I really do not know how to explain it to people who are fortunate enough to not have dealt with an obscene amount of predators in their real life, but these people always find something to make them seem correct. And if they can't find something? They just lie. They sit and they make up whatever they want to justify themselves.

Because they are human, and humans always justify themselves; it's how our brains are wired to react.

Yes, some people who like loli content are predators. So are some people who like vanilla porn, who run churches, who volunteer at schools, who sit and scream on the internet about how evil x group is. Predators are everywhere, you cannot predict where you will find them.

All you can do is put safeguards in place, teach children the real behavior to be wary of, and make sure children have trusted adults in their lives to turn to when someone makes them uncomfortable.

*regarding consent above: Daddy G (aka Google) says it's 13-16 depending on the area, I'm not familiar with Japanese laws so I don't know specifics.

--

They just raised it to 16, but in practice, it was already often 18 due to other laws, and you can't get married without parental consent until 20 in many cases. (Laws vary by prefecture.)

[anavilante]

Age difference modern AU, part 3.1

20 year old student John and 30 year old professor Gale (top John, bottom Gale, no vers)

Part 1 = Part 2

The third and final part turned out to be very long, so it will be divided into subparts.

It seems that John's declaration of love should make meetings with him more pleasant and easier, but somehow it breaks the entire clear order of things in their relationship.

At first, everything was clear to Gale: he will date John until he decides to break up with him. And Gale accepts these rules of the game. He will be hurt and lonely and he will live the rest of his life savoring the memories of meetings with this guy.

But now John, like a tornado, bursts into Gale's harmonious, understandable and acceptable plans and destroys them to the ground. He tempts him with the fact that their story can have a continuation. It can have a continuation, but Gale will have to make a choice. This thought scares him.

=====

"Sorry, I have a deadweight today," John says apologetically.

A girl of about 10 years old looks out from behind him, and immediately adds confidently, "Hey, who are you calling a deadweight here?"

Gale thinks that she looks incredibly like John, dark hair, blue squinting eyes, the same lopsided confident smile. She has band-aids on both knees and on her forehead, and a huge, bright backpack on her back.

"Hi, I'm Gale," he says and reach out his hand to the girl.

She looks at him appraisingly, just openly examining him from head to toe, and then looks at John with incomprehension, as if some puzzle in her head cannot come together.

In the end, she shrugs and replies, "Oh well. I'm Eileen."

She grabs his hand for a second with small, noticeably sticky fingers, as if she had been holding something sweet in them before.

Gale shudders from the stickiness on her fingers. Or does he do it because the age difference between John and Eileen and the fact that John is too tall even for his age creates the impression that he is not her brother, but her father. This impression is not destroyed by their similar appearance and the girl’s confident behavior, in which John’s influence is clearly visible. This sends a chill down Gale’s spine. And a strange melancholy that he does not understand. What a lie, he understands everything.

"Mom’s car broke down, Dad is at work, so I have to take her to painting, sorry," John shrugs apologetically.

Gale, for some reason, does the same in response, "It’s okay, it’s not a problem."

In the last minute, all three of them shrugged their shoulders and it seemed that it was not only Gale who noticed, because they all looked at each other and John suddenly burst out laughing, stretching his lips in his branded wolfish smile, Gale and the little girl responded in kind and the tension of the moment instantly disappeared.

"Eileen, you can take care of yourself for half an hour before class starts, right? There are a lot of kids here you know, you’ll have a good time…" John asks. "Because we’re in a hurry."

The girl looks at John and then at Gale, and in a tone that sounds too mocking for a girl her age says, "If my body will be found in some vacant lot later, you’ll regret this half an hour for the rest of your life."

Gale’s mouth drops open in surprise, and John rolls his eyes in irritation, "Okay, you little pest, we’ll all wait here together."

"No," Eileen says confidently. "Gale and I are waiting here. You go and get us some ice cream."

John's face turned red with irritation, "I DON’T WANT ICE CREAM!" Gale can’t help but giggle. "I want to mind my own business!"

"Great. Bring some ice cream for Gale and me then, and I’ll have two."

"And why would I want to do that?!"

"So I won’t tell our father that you’re emptying his stash of cigarettes in the garage," Eileen says calmly.

John and Gale exchange glances and Gale is amused by the despair in his lover’s eyes.

"You know how strict our mother is with him about smoking and that stash is his only joy… He doesn’t suspect you because you don’t live with us, but if he finds out… He’ll be shocked if he finds out that it’s practically empty," Eileen says sadly. "How can he survive such a betrayal from a family member?"

"But I’ll give it all back soon, it’s just…."

"You’ll give the cigarettes back, but the trust…" Eileen points into the distance, "The store is over there, don’t be late."

John walks towards the ice cream shop, defeated.

When they are alone, Eileen takes off her huge backpack, sits down on a bench and turns her attention to Gale, it suddenly makes him feel a little uncomfortable.

"You’re not like other Bucky's girls," Eileen says straight away. That’s what she and John have in common, they both get straight to the point.

Gale’s jaw hits the ground. And he makes a slurred excuse, trying to maintain his composure, "Probably because I’m not Bucky’s girl."

The girl clicks her tongue, looking at Gale, it’s strange and unpleasant for him, but he doesn’t sense any hostility in her.

"Yeah, that’s for sure. You’re a guy. And you’re old enough to be his father."

Gale feels like he's sweating all over in his nice new suit he bought because he thinks John would love the way the jacket accentuates his narrow waist and the pants accentuate his long legs. His heart is pounding like he just ran a marathon.

"Uh… I… Well… I… Oh my god… Definitely not old enough to be his father… " Gale mutters.

"Come on, don't be so nervous, you're okay. Weird, but okay. But that's not what I meant when I said you aren't like other Bucky's girls. And then you started lying to me, didn't anyone tell you you shouldn't lie to kids?"

"But I wasn't lying, I…"

"But you understood me, right, even if I said it wrong…?" Gale went silent. "You’re not like other Bucky's girls because Bucky's been on more than one date with you."

This isn't what Gale expected to hear at all, and her words make him feel a little warmer, and something tingles in his heart.

"What makes you think this is a date?"

The girl snorts, "He's clean-shaven, washed, and he smells like perfume from a block away, it can only be a date!"

When John returns out of breath with ice cream, Eileen and Gale are sitting on a bench, chatting like old friends. He eyes them suspiciously before handing them each an ice cream. He ostentatiously shoves the third ice cream into his mouth in front of his sister and chews it, she makes a face of disgust, and Gale laughs.

=====

After two rounds of sex, they are lying in bed, giving their bodies a break. Gale is lying on his stomach, his chin resting on his palm, and he can't shut up about meeting John's little sister earlier today.

John is lying next to him, very close, he was on top of him a couple of minutes ago, pounding into his body like there was no tomorrow, that's why he still can't leave his body completely, his hand is absentmindedly stroking Gale's lower back, fighting the urge to go lower, slide between his buttocks and touch the tender pink hole, oozing with his cum at the moment.

They have been having sex without a condom for a while now, and John is trying to pretend that everything is as always, this is an ordinary thing, but all he can think about after that is watching - touching - licking his own taste from Gale's well-fucked hole. He fills his lover's body with cum, as it should be, and it stirs something feral in John's soul, something uncontrollably animalistic. It's an instinct as old as life itself. Something so overwhelming that John loses the ability to think clearly for a while.

And Gale at this time talks about his little sister. And John would be lying if he said that this does not irritate him.

He removes his hand from the small of Gale's back, which he wants to kiss, and asks sharply, "Do you like kids?"

Gale chokes on the next word in fear and freezes for a couple of seconds.

"I'm a teacher, Bucky. Of course I like kids," he finally gets the words out, his tone trying to be light and nonchalant, but John can still sense the nervous tension in him.

"You're a college teacher, Buck," he snorts, "and I'm talking about the kind of kids who are…uh…kids. "

"I like kids, Bucky, if that’s what you’re asking about." Gale turns to John and speaks more softly, "You’re asking about your sister, right? Don’t be afraid, I’m not some kind of perv. I… it’s just… You’re right, I don’t deal with kids often, to tell the truth I’ve probably lost my skills, it’s just that she’s so… I had no idea you had a sister like that. She’s so smart, and perceptive, and… straightforward. I forgot that kids could be like that." His tone is almost gentle, and for some reason Gale now wants to touch John, to be in his arms, somewhere warm and safe, where there are no bad or sad thoughts.

But John is still irritated and he doesn’t read Gale’s need, so he asks, "If you love kids so much, then why don’t you and Marge have any?"

And for Gale, who was currently looking for comfort and safety, it's like a hard slap in the face. He sits up abruptly on the bed, leaning on one arm and pressing the other to his chest, as if he feels pain. John shouldn’t ask him about this. What can he tell him? That their marriage with Marge seems so illusory between them that neither of them has brought it up in 10 years? That they think they still have time for this? What if someone doesn’t want to? What if someone can’t? What if Gale carries with him such baggage of an unwanted and unloved child in the family that he is terrified of the thought of repeating that fate, but this time as a parent?

He's not sure he wants to have a child with Marge. And that unsureness immediately reminds him of another man who had kids because he had to, not because he wanted them - his father. What if he treats his child the same way his father treated him?

Gale was a lonely and unhappy child who nevertheless naively believed that everything would be completely different for him. That he will love the person with whom he will create a family more than anything in the world and their children will be wanted and loved and will never feel what Gale felt as a child - needlessness.

It took him a while to realize that the universe doesn't work that way and his fantasies will forever remain just fantasies, that he will never be able to have children from the person he loves, and he is afraid to have them from the person he does not.

"You can’t just ask people things like that," he whispers. "That’s rude."

John watches him. Gale is defeated, miserable, and vulnerable right now. He could leave, run away, leaving John alone with his stupid questions. But he sits there, hunched over, facing away from his lover, and… waits. And John can fix everything now. Put his hand on his back, stroke it soothingly up and down his spine, move closer to him, pause respectfully, and kiss his shoulder gently, then his neck, press his large body against his back, wrap his strong arms around his thin waist, and pull him closer, whispering, "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you."

And John wants to do it, he already stretches out his hand to stroke Gale on the back, but then the demon of his inner voice whispers, "Yes, Bucky, who are you in his life to ask about such things? Be a good boy and shut your mouth, you are here for his fun, and not to ask uncomfortable questions".

And John pulls his hand back and says, "Well, I am not asking this random people on the street, but you."

Gale abruptly gets up from the bed, he is tense as a string, "That is none of your business, John."

And Gale goes to the bathroom, John watches as a silvery trail of his own cum flows down his lover's thigh.

[macandcheese-inhaler]

Completely random but like, my friend keeps telling me he ACTUALLY likes my existence and it’s so eye opening. Without realizing, I got stuck in the mindset of “He must think it's like a chore to interact with me.” I think it’s just my old habits (self confidence issues and lack of a sense of self) baring their teeth for the first time in a hot minute, but it’s so hard for me to grasp the concept of “Hey, this person you like, likes and respects you too!”

There used to be a prominent running joke throughout my friend group where they’d often call me annoying, act like they could barely stand me, and/or make fun of me for being too “child-like”. (Which, I do have the energy and interests of a child, but my personality led to them viewing me as incapable and it got old quick. Basically they were infantilizing me.) It’s been about 2½ years since then and it’s a little crazy to think about how I still expect everyone to treat me like that. I’ve been scared to form new friendships b/c of how much that time affected me. I mean, apparently I’m still not entirely healed from it.

But, I’ve been friends with this guy for almost a year now. He has never ONCE suggested that he didn’t like me. Yet I’m still over here trying to convince myself that this guy cannot stand me?? In fact, I recently found out that he REALLY wanted to make sure we’d stay friends once summer break started. (Before that point we only ever spoke to each other in one of our classes) That is INASE to me. Like, wdym you enjoyed my presence enough to ACTIVELY plan out how you’d make sure we frequently spoke to each other? And even CRAZIER he’s told me he OFTEN looked forward to talking to me at school last year and said that I helped him get through the day. Like, WHAT?

He’ll even send me good morning texts sometimes and it's so reassuring. They’re practically just (unintentional) reminders saying “Hey remember, I think you’re cool!” I hope he knows I appreciate him so much. It’ll take me a long time to ever admit, but I hope he knows he’s made my life feel like it’s worth living again. He’s made me realize I’ve been simply coasting and not LIVING for too long. I hope he knows whenever I’m in a bad mood I’ll actively go out of my way to be in his presence just a little longer, even if it’s just 20 extra seconds, just b/c he’s comforting. I hope he knows how much every gift he gives me means to me, no matter how much I struggle to accept them. I hope he knows he gave me the final push I needed to finally accept my sexuality. I hope he knows how happy I am when he lets me yap about whatever I feel like at the time. I hope he knows I feel like I'm actually listened to whenever I'm speaking to him. It feels like I can be myself around him and not have to worry. And I’m almost certain I’ve weirded him out on several occasions, but in the end that does not matter. Those moments don’t change how he sees me. And I hope he knows how much that genuinely means to me.

[meeks-just-wants-to-scroll]

thank you

kieran is a decent shot but is terrifying with a knife (people are not that different to fish). 110% he would win a 1v1 knife fight every time and thanks to army training he's pretty decent at disarming people in hand on hand combat. would take a knife to a gun fight and have a chance of winning

probably taller than 90% of the gang if he actually corrected his posture

his parents died when he was a proper baby only 8 or 9 and he pick-pocketed to survive along with a bunch of other urchins like the saint denis gang. he's still pretty good at it and is really good at being stealthy/light on his feet despite his stature (helpful for not getting noticed by the crueler VDLs)

he also became a pretty good liar and con artist as part of living on the street and getting out of trouble when caught (this is heavily inspired by how differently he treats gang members, happily tells karen he is a baby to get sympathy, people-pleasing 'whatever you say miss with mary-beth, needles arthur back a bit when they go fishing)

probably has a touch of the old imposter syndrome because he never really had the chance to figure out who he was he's just been focused on survival since since day 1. he loves horses because he doesn't have to worry about what mask he has to wear with them

he's frankly not sure how old he is on account of how young he was when his parents died. he enlisted for the army when he looked old enough, in reality he was probs only 17 and barely got in based on his facial hair, which he had never shaved a day in his life since it started growing (hc late 20s/early 30s in game)

he was in the infantry division. consistent food and routine after a decade of fighting for scraps and being spit on? he loved it. very upstanding, attentive, kept his uniform clean and sharp. was there years before he saw active combat. then he fucking hated it. refused to follow orders. was not dying over land. was not shooting at unarmed people. dishonorably discharged. would have deserted if they didn't.

looks like an absolute fucking baby without facial hair and would sooner bite someone than be clean shaven because he hates it

gets very irritable when he hasn't had a cigarette for a while. has picked cigarette butts of the ground for a quick hit. would have broken faster about six point cabin if they offered him a cigarette.

lying through his teeth about his time with the o'driscolls. he was probably with them closer to a year, and a little higher than bottom-rung. got to pick and choose what missions he went on, talk to colm directly, most knew his name ect. i cannot see him having the balls to argue with colm o'driscoll himself unless he had some level of protection/seniority within the gang esp given the circumstances of how he joined. he was trusted enough to ride off on his own without running off?

in saying that. he was definitely considering running off in colter. at no point does he try to fight arthur. no way he wasn't armed. just oh no i am being abducted this is v bad. don't give me food for weeks? still like you more than colm can i stay with you pls

AHHH!!! I READ THIS THE DAY YOU SENT IT BUT I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND BECAUSE I WASN’T REALLY EXPECTING PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY SEND IN THEIR HEADCANONS, THANK YOU THESE ARE WONDERFUL!

:D You explained these all beautifully and I feel like I couldn’t say much more, but I’ll try to “yes and…” everything you said because I feel it is worth exploring these ideas you proposed. Long HC ramble under the divider.

1) I don’t know much about 1800’s military training but I can see Kieran being a knife guy like you said. He has a custom knife in game (at the very least he has a custom pistol). Him being good with a knife makes me think of how he comes off as unarmed from a distance but harbors a wicked knife up close. I am sure he mainly uses his knife for cutting fishing line or whittling sticks in his free time. He used it for cutting up animals he hunted while with his past gang. That knife has gotten him through a lot, it’s practically an heirloom at this point; it kept him alive and is one of the few things he fully owns and kept from his youth.

2+3+4) lanky scary guy is stealthy!! Yes!! I would like to mention how no one in the VDL gang noticed Kieran wandering off and getting a gun belt from a corpse during the firefight in A Social Call Mission. He did all of that AND was swift enough to save Arthur. I agree that he was very young when his parents died. I more so think 11-13 in my HC but that’s just because I feel like the stables would rather kick out a tween/teen than a little kid. This blends into your 4th point about being a con artist. Kieran knows his strengths and weaknesses. He knows that people see a scrawny little boy before they see him as a thief. Squirming and squabbling can be enough of a distraction to get away with things.

I don’t have a good explanation for how Kieran did this since he can’t leave camp, but while I was playing, I saw Kieran donated a jewel necklace to the camp funds (and not to brag on his behalf, but he donated WAY MORE $$ than the other members 🤭). Kieran still can pull his weight in pickpocketing, even in game. I imagine he does it without straying too far from camp by pretending he is sick or hungry and thirsty on the side of well traveled paths and getting close enough to strangers to swipe something. It’s subtle enough to not draw attention to camp, yet effective enough to be worth it in the long run.

5+6) I agree on imposter syndrome! One hc I have is that Kieran was raised an only child while traveling westward to California with his parents meaning he had no consistent kids his age to be with. Even in the military (where he SHOULD be surrounded by his peers) he never really connected in a genuine way. Being roughened up by being an outlaw after that just made it harder to emotionally connect since so much required not breaking down if a group member dies. It’s odd; Kieran is unwilling to be vulnerable, but he isn’t this stoic wall. Instead he has this decoy vulnerability?… he’d rather people see him as a weak guy if it gets him out of a physical hurt yet he won’t be vulnerable if it means running the risk of being emotionally hurt.

7) I know very little about 1800’s military (and my cursory research has been shallow thus far) but I imagine it was better than being homeless and orphaned! Food, shelter and routine, like you said. I imagine Kieran was an obedient and hard working kid; helped his family with horses, fishing and hunting. Pre-outlaw Kieran felt conflicted about killing people. I mean… he joined the army so he isn’t clueless that he had to kill, but killing on paper vs actually killing is very different, plus he was a puny teen without a fully developed brain when he enlisted.

Once Kieran became an outlaw, he had to make some sort of peace / find some silver lining to killing. You have to have morally dubious ways of coping with being an outlaw or else you go mad. One way was him (guiltily or not) finding some thrill in gunfights or knife fights. Made him feel good for once about being an easy to underestimate guy. He got to taunt, shout, and watch his enemies faces contort in pain and horror.

8) the facial hair stuff!! I agree that Kieran likely looks like an exhausted young adult under all the scruff. I imagine Kieran has put value into his unkempt looks. He does care for hygiene (source: he says it in cut audio) but he can’t bring himself to trim his facial or head hair because he feels it is the only thing making him a man. Like you said, imposter syndrome, he doesn’t feel like he’s an actual adult who has his life together. I’m sure Kieran has some out-dated ideas of what makes a man (out-dated by modern day standards). Stuff like being strong, a provider, hairy, deep voiced, etc. Kieran isn’t many of those things. Having a snaggly beard is his tiny grasp on meeting what he wishes he could be. I also think he hasn’t cut his hair that much because of a lack of salons while being an outlaw.

9) I honestly forget most of the characters in RDR2 smoke… but I agree! Growing up with a smoker as a parent who tried to quite cold turkey a few times, I know how hellish withdrawal is on a person. While in Colter, tied up, Kieran was the most bellicose because of withdrawals peaking (upon other things). I feel like some point between his parent’s dying and him joining the outlaws was when he took up smoking.

10+11) Kieran was DEFINITELY lying about how involved he was with the O’Drisc, agreed. I see him as being with them for likely 6 months to a year. Maaayyybe more but I feel like Kieran ran with his prior gang for most of his adult life. To me, Kieran is fibbing a half truth when he says he wasn’t close with Colm and he was merely a stable boy. He WAS that, but with being an obedient, hardworking chore boy, he was kept around long enough to make it up little by little till he was on missions out of camp collecting supplies or defending territory/camp. Kieran was always a pawn, never someone Colm actually cared for. Kieran was just the least-annoying gang goon Colm could bring into the mountains to watch the horses in the cold stables. The fact Kieran was even spotted by the VDL gang was bad luck.

I don’t know why he is riding out of the camp solo before Arthur catches him ;-; my best guess would be Kieran was going to meet up with other members but when a fight with the O’Drisc vs VDL broke out in camp, Kieran took it as his chance to get the fuck out of there.

On the topic of getting the fuck out, Kieran didn’t fight as much as he could when Arthur got him, I agree. When his life depends on it, he will fight like a cornered animal, all knife slashing and wild-eyed. Whether Kieran fights or goes limp and pleads pathetically depends on the situation. When Kieran fled from the O’Drisc camp firefight, he knew he wouldn’t last out there unless he got off the mountain. Being snatched and dragged to an enemy camp was better than dying of exposure. I mean… everything in his life sucks. Kieran gets no easy options. Sometimes he just has to go limp and be tied up and see where life brings him.

His relationship with Colm is interesting. I don’t think Colm cares very much about Kieran (keep in mind I don’t actually know Colm’s character well since I haven’t finished the game). From what Kieran describes of him, I feel it was all things Kieran observed or eavesdropped on while doing chores or sitting around the camp. Who knows tho! I am open to the idea that Kieran was of higher rank and indeed had more reasons to talk with Colm directly. I don’t know much about the O’Driscoll gang inner workings.

Ah!! Once again, thank you so much :) I love all your headcanons and it was a blast brainstorming about your ideas.

[youremyheaven]

on the topic of malefics and sensuality, i'm martian and unsurprisingly celibate. but one thing that i think is unique to martian celibacy is hating men and let me tell you... i sure do 😭 i've had a few experiences as a teen that were like okay at best but as i've gotten older i find men so disgusting and stupid and quite frankly sinister that i just cannot bring myself to even flirt with them. i think there probably is a man out there who won't make me feel this way (venusian munch man if you can hear me please save me) but in the meantime me and my misandrist martian friends (i'm like a mars magnet) are gonna be locked UP

and also, i have mrigashira moon and i think that mrigashira specifically makes you fantasize about romance/sex a lot but not wanting to actually do it. my mrig rising and venus friend feels the same way! we both spent our teen years on wattpad 24/7 😭 mrigs love escapism and fantasy!

omg BBG you spilled 💅🏼

I've noticed the man hating tendency with many Martian women lmaooo, everytime I hear it, I do feel a bit shook ngl, it's like Saturn men hating women

Venusian man save me is so realllll 😩😩😭🤣

Honorable mention for Jupiter men (esp Vishaka) they're the sweetest guys except they're kinda sexless (except Vishaka) they're romantic but not sexual??? If that makes sense??

My friend dated a Vishaka Moon man for a year and he apparently never ever touched her 😭😭😭and she thought it was because he found her unappealing lmao (dating within the Indian context means a man who doesn't touch before marriage is a good man etc so she felt too "slutty" to ask him for anything bc most men are sleazy and would've tried to pull something and him not doing so meant he was a decent guy and she was the problem 💀🤡)

I'd say Venus & Jupiter men are the ones who know how to treat women right 😌😉 (obviously how evolved they're as individuals also matter, there are sex addicted Venusians and party everyday, constant thrill chasing Jupitereans)

Lmaoo the Mrigashira fantasizing about sex and never actually wanting to do the deed is so true. My 60yr old aunt (Mrigashira Moon) has been separated from her husband for like 20 years (and she's thrived as a girlboss ever since) and she often talks about finding a handsome man etc 😌😏🤤 for her company but when my dad says "okay let's try matrimonial sites and find a guy for you 😌🫶🏼" she's like "🤮🤢🤢EWWW"

A gang of Martian misandrists is so funny 😭🤣😳😶‍🌫️💀🤣😭 I feel like Martian women are so unimpressed with me bc I seem like a deranged lover girl to them lmao,, my friend in college had Mars in Mrigashira atmakaraka and she literally acted like my mom and shooed away any man who approached me (since many of them were creepy, I was grateful for it ngl) but the WAYYY she spoke about guys always felt a bit unhinged to me like ??? it can't be normal to walk around with this much rage and angst ??? And I always tried to gauge if there was something in her past that made her this way 😔😶‍🌫️😶 but girlie never dated, never had a crush, never went near a man, was never assaulted/harassed/abused by men etc so I figured it must just be a hating Indian men thing bc who can blame her for that 😔🤡💀she did however feel like her dad was a patriarch with a misogyny issue but that's just every brown dad tbh :/// everytime I told her about a crush or about something some guy told me 🤪😜, she'd start the character assassination on him and make him sound like the worst person to have ever lived ,, and then lowkey make snide remarks that made me feel stupid for having my moment of fun😔like damn ma chill outtttt, I'm not having his babies!!!! We had a very homoerotic friendship so I feel like there's that as well 😬😶‍🌫️😬

[perseusannabeth]

Chapter 1

A/N: Hi everyone, and happy holidays! This is my contribution to the @acotargiftexchange for the lovely @talkfantasytome! I want to thank the organisers for this absolutely brilliant event. It's looking like this fic will be 3 chapters, so fingers crossed that the rest of the parts will come soon!

This has chef Cassian and writer Nesta, aka my favourite combo. I also have to warn you, as per usual, Cassian's Illyrian cooking is in fact how I cook as a south Asian person.

AO3 is currently down, so I won't be able to post this on there until later, but it will be added. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this!

Summary: Cassian is deeply concerned about the fact that his neighbour cannot cook at all. He decides to start cooking for her to save her from an early death, and it becomes so much more.

Cassian had lived in his current apartment for a long enough time to know most of the people in the building. It wasn't a massive building, so it wasn't hard to run into people. The only person he hadn't run into was his neighbour, who had moved in 3 months ago. 

Thankfully, there were signs of life, like the post being checked, and he could hear the door opening and closing. The most concerning thing he noticed was that his new neighbour seemed friendly with the fast food delivery drivers. Cassian didn't like judging food choices because he knew that people around him already felt self-conscious when they talked about food. Being a chef meant people assumed he knew best, but he could easily teach people he was willing to learn. Still, his neighbour was concerning him a lot. They must be on their way to a heart attack with the amount of fast food they consumed, and from Cassian's observation, they sometimes got food at least once a day or more. But Cassian had never assumed his neighbour's eating habits would affect him.

"So, have you seen her around? It's been a few days, that's all, and I'm a little worried about her," said his delivery driver, Toby. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so tired right now that my brain barely functions. Please, can you repeat yourself?" 

"Nesta, your neighbour. She orders from us daily, but I've not had any deliveries for her for 3 days. I'm just a little worried about her, that's all," Toby said, blushing now. The poor guy couldn't be more than 20 years old. At 20 years old, Cassian can't imagine he would've had the guts to do what Toby was doing, so he had to hand it to the guy. 

"I'm sorry, I haven't heard from her," Cassian replied, unwilling to admit he'd never seen her before and had just learned her name from Toby. "I'll check on her though, don't worry," Cassian said, to both reassure the man and to get him to leave because, god damn it, his food was getting cold!

"Thanks, man, I really appreciate it. She seems nice, and she tips really well." Toby smiled. Cassian just nodded awkwardly and then waited for Toby to finally (finally) move from his door. 

Cassian practically inhaled his food because, yes, he had promised his delivery driver that he would check on his neighbour, but if he was going to check on a potentially dead person, he would not be doing it while he was hungry. Fuck that; he had been in the restaurant since 6am, and he had planned on eating and then collapsing in bed. Now he had to check on his potentially dead neighbour because the delivery boy liked her tips!

By the time he had finished his food, he had managed to work up some energy, mostly just the rage he had to check on his neighbour and delay his sleep. Still, before leaving his flat, he checked his attitude at the door because he didn't want to be rude. He was being neighbourly, even if he was tired. 

When he knocked on the door and didn't hear any movement on the other side of the door, he was suddenly wide awake. He had horrific visions of breaking the door down and finding a corpse as he knocked again, trying to delay the rescue mission playing out in his head. When the door flew open, Cassian nearly jumped out of his skin.

The lady in front of him looked pretty annoyed at him, especially as he gawped at her like an idiot. Her hair was pulled up in something that might have once been a bun but was now just a tangled mess. She was in a long t-shirt that had seen better days; it was stained and faded, and underneath, she wore leggings that were in a similar state. But somehow, despite all this and the deep bags under her eyes, she still was the most beautiful woman Cassian had ever seen. 

"Can I help you?" The woman said, giving him a quick once over. 

That snapped Cassian out of his trance. "Sorry, erm, I'm looking for someone called Nesta?" Cassian asked awkwardly.

The woman had gone from droll to actively suppressing a laugh. "Oh my god, did Emerie actually do it? Are you a male stripper?"

Cassian's eyes widened as he quickly stepped back to distance himself from the beautiful, crazy woman. "Woah, I have no idea who Emerie is. I'm flattered you think I could pass for a stripper, but I'm no magic Mike. I'm Cassian, and I'm your neighbour." Cassian said, pointing at the open door to his apartment.

'Oh," the woman said, now also looking awkward. 

"Look, I just need to know if you're Nesta and if you're alright. I ordered some food, and the delivery driver said he was worried because he hadn't heard from you in a few days," Cassian explained, not wanting to linger in awkward silence. 

The woman's face went bright red at that, so Cassian assumed that this was, in fact, the mysterious Nesta who tipped really well and ordered food every single day. "Listen, I'm assuming you're Cassian, the chef Mrs Culpepper mentioned. I can only imagine what you think of me since Toby felt chatty today. I'm gonna be honest with you, I can't cook. My friend said not to burn down the building, so I've not tried. Really, my takeaway habit is saving everyone, and as my neighbour, you should be grateful, so don't judge me,"

Cassian held his hands up in surrender. "I'm not judging. Just because I enjoy cooking doesn't mean I assume everyone will. I am, however, slightly concerned. Is that all you eat? That can't be good for your health," Cassian said, frowning as he calculated how expensive that must be and the calories. He wasn't the best with numbers, so he couldn't be sure, but he was pretty sure that was a bad time. 

"My friend said the same thing, so she batch-cooked me a few meals. I've got a deadline for work, so I've been even worse than usual, but that's why I haven't ordered any food. When it runs out, which will probably be tomorrow, I'll be back to ordering from Toby," she said with a shrug. 

"Okay, I said I'm not judging, but that sounds horrific. I can't let you carry on like that. I don't think my conscience can take it," Cassian said, looking at her wide-eyed. The way this woman was going, she'd be dead of a heart attack in no time.

"I'll be fine; you don't need to take pity on me," Nesta said defensively. 

"Listen, it's Nesta, right?" she nodded, eyeing him suspiciously now, which made him want to laugh. She hadn't been suspicious before, but now he was questioning her food intake; she was wary of him. "I get to take leftovers from my work. It's one of the perks, but there's sometimes a lot. I tend to bring them home and make myself something with whatever random stuff there is. It's way healthier than ordering out and helps me not waste food. It's a win-win situation for both of us, really." 

"So, you're basically offering to be my personal chef?" Nesta said, trying to figure out what the catch was. 

"Well, within reason. If there's anything you hate or won't eat, I'll consider it, and obviously, any allergies. And if you want something specific, I don't mind making that, too, as long as I have enough time to get the ingredients. And I don't really mind cooking; if I didn't love it, I wouldn't do it as my job." 

A silence lingered, and Cassian wondered if he had gone in too hard on the sales pitch. He wouldn't be shocked if she said no; it was a weird request from your neighbour, whom you'd only met. But there was something about this woman that made Cassian want to offer to cook for her outside of work. His friends knew he never shared his food, not when he was outside of work. He made traditional Illyrian dishes when he was at home. It was a way for him to stay connected with his culture and mother despite his distance. These recipes had been handed down through generations of his mother's family, but there was something private and intimate about them. But he would share them with his neighbour. 

"Are you even real?" Nesta said, staring at him in a bit of a daze. Then, she reached out and poked him in the cheek. "You feel real," she said as she continued poking his cheek.

"I- I think I'm real?" Cassian stuttered, really not sure how he should react. Cassian wasn't shy, but this woman was just something else. 

Clearly, his talking pulled her out of whatever daze she was in. "I'm so sorry; I've been working non-stop for my next deadline, so I'm losing my grip on reality right now," Nesta said, shaking her head to get rid of whatever weird thoughts were in her head. 

Cassian pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to her. "Add your number, and I'll text you so you have mine. Then, you can text me any allergies or anything you wouldn't eat. I'll probably just tell you some dishes I can make with the leftovers, and you can let me know what sounds good. Is that okay with you?" Cassian said.

Nesta nodded, handing his phone back with her number added. Cassian shot her a quick text and then put his phone away. "Thank you," Nesta said awkwardly. "You really don't need to do that, but I'm certainly not going to look a gift horse in the mouth," she said with a shrug and a quick smile. 

Cassian smiled back, said his goodbyes and went back to his apartment. As he shut his door, he took his neighbour in, who was watching him walk away with a contemplative look on her face. He shook his head, shutting his door. Cassian was doing a good deed for his hot neighbour, but he hoped and prayed that his friends wouldn't find out about it. 

With that, he quickly got ready for bed, practically collapsing into his bed. As he drifted off to sleep, he noticed that he was smiling and had been since he had said goodbye to his neighbour. 

***

Cassian had forgotten entirely about the events of the night before when he woke up in the morning. It was so surreal; it felt like a dream. It wasn't until he was getting ready for his morning run that he realised it was true. 

He had a strict no phones policy in the mornings, mainly because his doom-scrolling habit was an awful way to start the day. So until he was ready to leave the house, he wouldn't look at his phone. It had helped with his mental health a lot and made waking up for his job so much easier, too. 

Since he had the day off, he slept till 9, which was late for someone who left the house at 4am every day for work. When he finally looked at his phone, he froze for a second, because there was a message from his neighbour. 

Once he had processed that yesterday had, in fact, not been a dream, he quickly made a note of the things she didn't like (kale being called the devil's lettuce made him laugh way more than it should've); he had a quick glance in the fridge to see what he could make. He figured he would make a quick tuna and avocado sandwich for lunch, and then for dinner, he would make pasta. Both seemed reasonably safe first options for her meals. Then, he could also give her leftover pasta for lunch the next day. 

As he finally left and started his run, he realised this could be the perfect opportunity to work on some new recipes for the restaurant. He wanted to update the menu and add more traditional recipes, but he had been nervous to test them out on anyone. By the time he got to the point he turned back, he had a massive grin on his face. He whipped his phone out and sent Nesta a text. 

Cassian: I've just had an idea. How would you feel being my new taster for some experimental recipes?

Her reply was instant, which surprised him. 

Nesta: you're doing me a favour so if i can help then i'm good with that. Although idk if i'm the best taste tester since my own culinary skills start and end at cereal 

Cassian: All I need is your honest opinion, everyone else in my life is too biased.

Nesta: i'm not afraid of cutting a man down, so dw

Cassian laughed at her message, sending her a quick laughing emoji before he put his phone back to go back home. He was in a good mood and excited about cooking for someone new. Of course, he got to cook for new people at his job every day, but cooking for someone one-on-one was so different. He could get her reactions, and she would give him feedback. This wasn't just a faceless customer; it was his neighbour. 

When he had assembled the sandwich, he put it into a Tupperware box and then cleaned up the kitchen. Once he was done, he finally gave Nesta her sandwich, trying to ignore the excitement and nerves bubbling in his stomach as he knocked on her door. 

Nesta flung the door open with a massive smile on her face. "Well, hello there, neighbour," she said, wiggling her eyebrows at him. "What do you have for me?" Nesta said, looking at the box with excitement. 

"I've got a tuna and avocado sandwich with red onion and some homemade sriracha mayo," Cassian said, presenting her the food with a flourish.

Nesta didn't hesitate to open the box to have a look. "Oh wow, this looks so good, like one of those fancy coffee shop sandwiches which is really over-priced. Did you make the bread, too?" she asked, tapping the sourdough. 

"Oh nah, absolutely not; I'm not much of a bread maker; it's so faffy, but I love the smell of fresh bread. There's another chef in the restaurant who makes bread, but there's never any left, so this is just some supermarket bread."

"Oh, well, I thought you used leftovers," Nesta said with a frown. 

"I do, but I like to jazz them up, so I use things I have at home, too. Don't worry about it, though."

"Nah, absolutely not. I need to pay you for this if you're using your money to feed me. That's not fair on you!" she exclaimed. "I'm not a charity case."

"I don't think you are!" Cassian said, alarmed. "You're going to help me, remember. Maybe I'll develop a new menu for the restaurant."

"I still want to contribute to this because you're saving me a lot of money. Let me pay half towards your groceries at least," Nesta said sternly. 

"I- okay if you insist, but I feel bad taking your money," Cassian said awkwardly. 

"Well, that's too bad. Text me your bank details, and I'll transfer you the money, and if you don't, I'll just have to hunt you down and hurt you," she threatened. 

"You seem like a busy woman, so I'll try to avoid that happening," Cassian winced. Changing the subject, he asked, "So I never asked, but what do you do?" 

"Oh, I'm a writer!" Nesta said excitedly.

"Oh wow, that's amazing! What kind of stuff do you write? I've not had time to read in a while, but maybe I should start that up again."

Nesta's eyes widened at that. "Do not read my books. You're not the target audience, and frankly, I would probably have to avoid you if I knew you'd read them."

Cassian frowned at her, and then it dawned on him. "Oh my god, you write porn books!" he exclaimed. 

"They're romance books! Sometimes they might have some smut, but they're not porn!" she hissed. 

"Right, of course! Well, I'm gonna get going since you've probably got some sex scene left to right or something," Cassian said with a shit-eating grin. 

Nesta froze but then smirked. "Actually, I finished writing that last night after you left. You know, since you weren't the male stripper I was hoping for," she said before turning around and slamming the door in his face. He stood there gaping for a while before eventually shaking himself out of it. My god, that woman was something else. 

***

"Cassian bheta! It's been too long since you called me," his mother said as she answered the phone. He had decided to ring her while he cooked because it was the best way to cook. He couldn't help but smile at his mother calling him son in their native language. He loved his Illyrian culture; the fact his mother had taught him so much of it gave him such pride. 

"Mama, I called you 2 days ago, and I've been texting you too!" he protested with a smile as he diced onion. 

"But you're my baby, my bacha, you don't understand. One day, when you have your own children, then you'll understand," she loved saying that line. It was one of his favourites. Now, he was nearing 30 and not even close to being married. 

 He ignored her comment, knowing no good could come from delving into that subject. "Mama, I'm making Illyrian-style pasta for my neighbour right now."

"Ohh, is your neighbour Illyrian too? Rhys's mum told me that the lady who used to live across the road from her has a daughter in the city! Her name is-"

"Mama! Velaris is a big city; you know I won't run into every Illyrian here, so stop trying to match-make! My neighbour isn't Illyrian, but she said she's happy to try different things. I'm cooking for her because she can't cook for herself."

"She can't cook?" his mother said, sounding scandalised. 

"No, and let me tell you, how I met her was crazy."

He relayed the events of yesterday evening while he sauteed the onion in some ghee, diced up some bell peppers and drained the sweetcorn. After the onions started to go soft, he added the basaar, a mix of spices that Illyrians added to almost every dish.

"Well, it's a good thing you're here to look after this girl; the poor thing has been living off those takeaways; she's in desperate need of some good, home-cooked food!" his mother said the word takeaway like it was dirty. She had always been very strict about eating out when they were younger, telling him they could make it better at home. Only as he got older did he realise they probably couldn't afford to eat out for more than the occasional treat. 

"That's why I offered mama."

"That's because you're my good bacha," she said fondly. "What's this neighbour's name anyway? And what does she do?" she asked. 

Cassian smiled. Illyrian mothers could never resist fishing for gossip, even if it was people they didn't know. "Oh, her name is Nesta, and she said she's a romance writer."

His mother gasped, making him almost drop the pasta as he drained it. "Are you cooking for the famous writer, Nesta Archeron?" his mother asked, her excitement tangible. 

"I don't actually know her surname. Why?" he asked, suspicious. 

"Oh my god, Cassian!" her mother screamed, so excited that she didn't seem to mind busting her son's eardrums. "Cassian, that woman is my favourite author!"

His eyes widened at that. "Mama! I don't want to know if you read those books!" he said, taking deep breaths and trying to clear his mind of that information.

"Pfft, why? Those books are brilliant, and you're a grown man now, stop being a baby. There are no men in my life, but those fictional men are something else," his mother sounded breathless, which was just too disturbing to think about. 

"Mama! Stop, I'll be sick if you carry on, and then how can I feed your favourite author?"

His mother was outraged at that. "Listen here, you! She's writing her next book, so you better feed her well because I've been waiting for this book for a year."

"Geez, mama, I promise I will; now I have to go. I'll give it to her now while it's warm." He said, sprinkling cheese on the pasta he had put in the two Tupperware boxes for Nesta. His mother said her goodbyes because he needed to feed Nesta, not because he said he needed to go. She made it clear her loyalties lie with Nesta, which was concerning. 

He knocked on Nesta's door, and she came quickly this time. She eagerly handed him an empty box from lunch, which had been washed, and took the pasta. 

"I'm not sure if you know this, but I can smell when you're cooking things, so I've been able to smell this for a while, and I'm starving right now. This smells absolutely amazing, so if this is what Illyrian food is like, keep it coming," Nesta said, not taking her eyes off the pasta. 

"Well, this isn't Illyrian food; this is just pasta with an Illyrian twist on it, in all fairness, but I'll keep that in mind." Nesta nodded eagerly. "By the way, my mother wanted me to check. Are you the author, Nesta Archeron?"

Nesta looked up at that. "Yes, I am," she said slowly.

"Right, well, my mother is a big fan and said I need to feed you well so you can write your book because she's very excited. She's basically gonna disown me if I don't cook well for you," he laughed. 

Nesta smiled at that. "She sounds sweet. Let her know that you're doing an excellent job."

Cassian smiled back and returned to his apartment, giving her instructions about how she needed to eat the 2nd box for lunch tomorrow because he would be at work. Nesta thanked him profusely, licking her lips as she eyed the pasta. 

Cassian got out of there quickly after that because seeing Nesta lick her lips did something weird that he didn't want to think about. He had only met the woman yesterday, so whatever he felt, he would ignore it. 

He got a text as he dug into his own pasta while watching a modern family rerun on TV. 

Nesta: this might be the best pasta i've ever had omg you're a god!!!

Nesta: i would eat this for the rest of my life if i could

Cassian: It's not too spicy for you?

Nesta: nah, this is fine, the tomatoes calm it down. Idk if i'm strong enough to handle more than this tho, my tastebuds are probs dead with everything i eat 

Cassian: Lolll, noted

Cassian cleared his dishes and got into bed since he'd have an early night the next day. Before putting his phone away, he quickly googled his neighbour, and lo and behold, a list of her books came up. She was popular, and he had to admit, he was impressed. Her fans were practically rabid for her next book. It looked like a series, so he ordered the first book before he could think about it too deeply. 

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[suk1raaa]

(So happy to have found your blog! Brozone needs more fics!) Would you be open to a fic about the brothers struggling to treatment branch like an adult? Like they cover his ears when someone curses or instinctively cut up his food. Not to be mean it's just old habits due hard.

lovely! i wouldn't mind doing your request! tysm for being my 1st!! if you don't mind, I separated them for headcanons, but at the bottom is the fic if you want to skip the hc part! the hc will be short.

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JOHN DORY

John Dory will struggle hard to treat Branch as an adult, as to being the eldest out of the siblings. He would, without a doubt, grab Branch's shorts and start assisting him into putting it on even if Branch kept on protesting. He definitely follows Branch around just to keep his little brother safe. JD probably took Branch's comb and start brushing his hair without any hesitance once.

BRUCE

ohhhhh Bruce cannot stop tossing Branch up high. Especially now that he's a dad he just can't stop the old habits! He would probably resist trying to help him cut up his food, but sometimes he would do it in a heartbeat even without knowing he did. I imagine Bruce trying to wash Branch's plate once and then stop as soon as Branch looked at him like 😐😑😐🤨, and then go "Force of habit lol" The most insisting piece of shit frfr

CLAY

yep definitely won't stop calling him bitty b Clay would literally NONSTOP grab Branch's cheeks and start putting them in different angles and squishing them "awww u little boyyy" he just gives loving brother vibes to his little brother ofccc 💕💕 He seems like the troll that'd do Branch's laundry for him and then say he doesn't need to worry about it. Still gives his little brother the TIGHTEST hugs

FLOYD

I'm gonna be honest here, he will treat Branch like a grown man. But I sometimes like to think he'd tuck Branch in when he sleeps before going to sleep on his own bed. Maybe he'd prepare his food when he wakes up too

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John Dory, Floyd, Clay, Bruce, and Branch were all in the living room, talking about some of the adventures they experienced before the reunion. Clay kept on and on about how he managed Putt Putt Village.

"You know, it was so fun having to hang out at Putt Putt Village, I remember one time I almost got eaten by this little creature! It was like, not that big but was super overprotective over the little ones! I think it was a... uhh.."

"A Mother cuddle pup?" John Dory answered, looking at Clay curiously. "Well, they are overprotective over their kids."

"Oh yeaaahhh! Yeah, a cuddle pup, like, holy shit it wa-"

"Hey!" Bruce and John Dory suddenly interrupted, scrambling over to cover Branch's ears protectively, "Don't say that in front of baby Branch!" Floyd sighed and gave Branch, who was alarmed, a chuckle.

"Huh-? Okay, guys- guys, stop. Stop, seriously." Branch shook his head, trying to move their hands away. "It's fine, I'm an adult now. You can't keep on treating me like a baby, you know. That was 20 years ago." Branch crossed his arms sternly as Bruce, Clay, and John Dory gave each other a look.

"Guys, I'm serious!"

"Hey, are you even listening to me- Guys!"

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dinner is served!

copying my work in any form will result in consequences.