#guys you cannot be living like this as 20 year olds

[tsururoach]

god i'm delirious. audiologie is so funny for giving us canonical vocalsynth relationship drama . something is wrong with both of them I'm crying

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 1: I Need You Now But I Don't Know You Yet

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!Reader, Reader POV

Summary: With a birthday printed on your wrist that happened over a hundred years ago, you always thought that you were cursed to never meet your soulmate. But when you finally meet the man that's supposed to be the other half of your soul, you wonder if the stars were wrong, and wonder how this man was meant for you. Reader is Hughie's sister, is not a supe, and is a Literature Professor that gets dragged into the middle of things. This fic takes place in an AU set loosely after Season 3 and does deviate from the plot of The Boys

Tropes: Soulmate AU, Little bit of Grumpy and Sunshine, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Protective Ben/ Soldier Boy, Jealous Ben/Soldier Boy

Warnings: Self deprecating thoughts, Little bit sad, Cursing, Mentions of drinking, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Death, Loneliness, Longing, Basically the reader just wants to be loved, Reader wears glasses?, Soldier Boy might be a little OOC.

Word Count: 6.3K

Song Inspiration For Chapter: IDK You Yet (Title of chapter based on song) Y'all should listen to this song because it fits so well!

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue Is in First Person And Is In Italics

A/N: Guys you have no idea how excited I am about this story! It's already shaking up to have a TON of my usual angst, but I'm not surprised.😅 I'm also a little disappointed. I read a soulmate AU fic forever ago for Joel Miller where the birthday was printed on the reader's arm and I cannot for the life of me remember what it was called or find it. If y'all know what it is, please let me know. I'd love to read it again and give the writer a little bit of credit for inspiration. ❤️

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

January 24, 1919

The date on your right wrist haunted you, the bold black numbers mocking from the moment you learned what they meant. It had to be a celestial mistake, a misprint, something wrong in the stars that shone so brightly over others, but dulled above your head.

Sometimes you thought you were cursed, that some mystical being before your birth marked you, scarred you, and made you carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders.

That whoever it was made you different on purpose and you hoped one day you understood what that purpose was.

You'd never met someone born with the same dilemma, to be saddled with a soulmate that was born over 100 years ago, and yet here you were.

You'd heard it all growing up, the hushed whispered "freak" from your schoolmates, the odd looks from your neighbors, the pitying frowns of your parents who had known each other since pre-k, and the hug from your older brother as he whispered the familiar phrase “it‘ll be okay" to soothe you.

But you always wondered…

When would it be okay?

You watched all your friends find their happy endings with their soulmates, the birth years printed on their wrists at least within the same few decades, but not you.

You were alone, different, cursed.

The date printed on your wrist made you different, because no one else had a soulmate that was born so far in the past.

Your soulmate's birthday brushed on your skin only brought a wave of disappointment every time you saw it, because what the hell did it mean? 1919? That meant that your soulmate would be over 100 years old when you met him, whoever it was.

If you even met him.

No one lives that long. My soulmate should be long dead. He can't still be alive. Can he?

Each year that passed was like another nail in the coffin, but you celebrated the birthday of your supposed soulmate with a cupcake and a beer, locked away in your apartment to shut out the jeers of those who knew your particular dilemma. And each year when you blew out the candle you wished that it would be the year you met him, but now you weren't sure it would ever happen.

Because it was impossible.

You didn't understand why you were different, why you were chosen to have a soulmate that was long dead. Maybe it was true, maybe you were born late, born under the wrong sign, or maybe you really were cursed.

You'd heard the stories of people who never found their soulmates, urban legends really, but it didn't make you feel any better. The stories of people who wasted away to nothing, driven to the point of insanity because they never found the other half of their soul, alone for as long as they could stand it before they finally crumbled to dust.

You refused to be like them, turning to books for solace and hoping to escape. Slipping into the pages and into other worlds where people found their other half to leave the loneliness that haunted you behind.

And in that solace your found your true love, literature. It wove around you and brought you peace in a world where you felt lost and different.

When you moved away from the small town you grew up in, you got a job as a Literature professor, reading the great works of others, while trying to forget about the date on your wrist and the soulmate you longed for each day.

It was incredibly lonely to think that you'd live your whole life with only one half of your soul.

Every time you opened a book from the era your soulmate was supposed to be born in you wondered if he had read it, wondered what it was like to live in that time, and imagined what it would have been like to be there with him.

Each day you covered up the date on your wrist with a splash of foundation and playfully laughed it off whenever someone asked you if you'd found your soulmate yet. All the while spending year after year fading just a little bit more as you lost the last pieces of hope that you'd ever meet him.

One Year Ago

You were running late. Frankly you were always running late, but in the city that never sleeps it was to be expected.

It was supposed to be a big day. You had about a hundred papers to grade, a test to proctor, and three lectures to give, but you couldn't complain about your job, you loved it. Loved the groans of your students whenever you announced a test or an essay, loved the soft evenings where you read papers with a cup of tea and learned what in the assigned text was special to your students, and loved to teach from the books that had become home to you, the books that tried to heal your wounded heart.

But today something was different.

Something nagged at the back of your mind, as if you had forgotten that something else was supposed to happen today.

Haircut? No that's not it.

You think as you walk to the large wooden desk in your living room/bedroom. It was technically a dining room table, breakfast table, and your desk, but you'd loved it since the moment you found it tucked into a corner of an antique store in Brooklyn.

Your small studio apartment was quaint, the bedroom and living room divided by a large mid-century wooden screen that you had bought for twenty bucks at a thrift store the weekend you moved into your apartment five years ago. The living room only housed a plump cream colored couch that faced out the window towards the living room window that gave you a spectacular view of the alley between your apartment building and the next. Sometimes you got to watch the couple in the apartment across from you having a terrific fight and then got a front row seat to the loud make-up sex they had almost immediately after.

Large stacks of books dominated every wall stretching up as high up to the ceiling as they could reach, some were pressed against the exposed brick walls, others serving as the base for the coffee table you’d made with a vintage window, and of course there was one stack that towered high above your bed on top of your bedside table.  You didn't own a tv, not when you spent most of your time reading.

Being a English professor meant that you could never have too many books not when they were like old friends that pulled you in whenever you opened their yellowing pages.

Meeting with the head of the English department? You bite the inside of your cheek as you shove your notebook, planner, pencil case, and laptop into your leather messenger bag. No, that's on Thursday.

You'd been working on a research paper that you hoped to publish about the Modern Period of Literature in America, but the head of the English Department wanted to see how much you'd done. In all honesty the only reason why you'd started studying the Modern Period of literature was because it was supposedly the time period in which your soulmate grew up and you thought that it would give you some insight into what his life was like. 

And despite your being an expert on that time period, the head of the English Department did not share your enthusiasm for it. The only thing the head of the English Department had any enthusiasm for was his self-published book of erotic poetry and staring at your legs for too long while making subtle attempts for you to sleep with him even though he was married.

You fight the wave of revulsion with the memory of the last time you had a meeting with him and give yourself a once over in the mirror hanging on the bathroom door that faces in to your living room. You looked the way that you always did, maybe a little more frantic than usual, but that was expected given the fact that you were running late.

Today you had decided to wear your favorite dark green chunky sweater that you'd knitted yourself, a dark gray argyle midi-skirt, chestnut brown ankle high-heeled leather boots, and your traditional pair of circular black-rimmed glasses.

It's going to be a good day. You smile at your reflection. Yeah, if I could remember whatever the hell it is I've forgotten.

You roll your eyes and grab a bagel from the bag on the counter.

No time to toast it.

You think mournfully before shoving it between your teeth as you run out the door, slamming it behind you so hard that it rattles the watercolor botanical framed prints on the inside wall of the apartment.

"Late again?" Your neighbor, Mrs. Charleson, asks opening the cheerful yellow door of her apartment.

She was wearing her traditional pink cat eye glasses and had her wavy gray hair pushed back by a floral headband. When you'd moved in five years ago, she had brought over some cinnamon swirl muffins and a pot of blueberry tea. She'd just lost her own soulmate and husband of sixty-five years and was looking for a friend about as much as you were.

And although she had about eighty cats, all of which who were named after literary figures (your own cat was named Heathcliff), and often smelled like mothballs, you enjoyed spending time with her. She knew about your dilemma and didn't judge you for it. She didn't throw you a pitying look or make outrageous comments about why you'd been chosen to never meet your soulmate. If anything she acted like the way you thought your mother always should but never did. Not with judgement as your mother did, but with concern and love.

"Always." You shout back, muffled around the sesame seed bagel, stamping your foot to get your boot in the right position.

"Tea later?"

"Mhmm."

"Get some earl gray macaroons!"

You make it down the stairs successfully without falling, before throwing yourself against the door that leads into the black and white tiled lobby. Your high heeled boots clack loudly against the floor and you step out onto the crowded sidewalks of the early morning.

Fall was just beginning in the city, your favorite season. The leaves in Central Park were turning reddish brown and yellow and there was a wonderful chill that swept through the crowded streets.

You wove through the people, walking in the direction of NYU and looking down at the antique wristwatch perched on your left wrist to confirm what you already knew- that you were going to be late for your 8:00 am lecture on 20th Century American Romantics.

Shit.

The city is lively for a Monday morning. The chatter of people on phones, the buzz of traffic, the high pitched screech of horns, and the smells of the city wafted over you. It was so different from the small town you grew up in, but you loved being here. Here no one knew you, no one judged you, no one muttered something under their breath about you, and no one grabbed their children and crossed the street as if you were contagious.

You felt free.

You round the corner still looking down at your watch, weaving in and out of the foot traffic the best you can, when someone bumps into your shoulder. Whoever hit you was solid, broad, and much taller than you. The bagel drops from your mouth as you jostle from the bump, and you let out a low groan.

There goes my breakfast.

You look up prepared to curse out the offender when you stop. Whoever it was hadn't stopped moving, but you catch a flash of his bright green eyes as he passes, meeting yours for only a moment.

But that moment seems to last a lifetime.

He was tall with wild dark brown hair so long it touched his shoulders and a scraggly beard that fell over his chest almost to his collarbones. He looked dirty,  almost worn, and was wearing a faded maroon track suit that had some writing on the sleeve in another language that you couldn't place. But his eyes were a brilliant green, so beautiful that they took your breath away.

As soon as his eyes meet yours, your skin hums, body lightening, warmth unfurling like the petals of a flower in the center of your chest curling outward reaching for the sun above. All sounds of the city vanish, leaving you only with the manic thud of your heart. Everything in your body turns towards the man, cells vibrating, reaching out, wanting more, begging you to grab him and hold him close. Electricity pulses and dances along your skin making your hair stand on end and goosebumps erupt along your flesh.

The birthday inscribed by the stars on your wrist sears against your skin like a brand beneath the foundation you smeared over it this morning. You look at him as if seeing for the first time, as if the past years of your life have been colorless, as if you'd been living in a cave for centuries and he's your first glimpse of sunlight, and as if you'd never seen the stars and he's the midnight sky.

You'd never felt any of this before.

The man's eyes widen as he looks at you, people passing between the two of you in a faceless blur, and you wonder if he feels it too.

He has to…

But the man shakes his head and turns his back on you continuing on his path down the sidewalk in the opposite direction, adjusting the strap of the bag on his shoulder as he goes.

"Wait-" You start to say, but your phone rings loudly in your pocket breaking the spell, and as you look down to retrieve it, you lose the man in the crowd.

What the hell just happened?

The rest of your day is chaotic, almost a blur, your body still humming from seeing that man on the street, wrist aching where the birthdate on your wrist burned against your flesh so hot that it seared through the foundation you brushed meticulously over the skin this morning to cover it up. It was no longer black, but flashed a brilliant gold with every shift of your wrist in the light as you moved your arm when teaching, peeking out beneath the sleeve of your sweater. Every flash distracted you from your lecture. Even your TA, Tate, who sat in the front row of your class began to notice how often you lost your train of thought.

You barely got through your 8:00 am lecture, stumbled through you 9:00 and 10:15, and canceled your 2:00 class much to the chagrin of your students who were expecting a test.

When Tate finally asked you if you're feeling alright, you wave a hand and tell him to take the rest of the day off, while you barricaded yourself in your office and stared at your wrist for hours, running your hands over the golden date confused. The birthdays always shone gold after two people found one another, and when your soulmate died, it went back to black, as if a reminder that the world had faded.

It was weird to see it shine so brightly when you'd lived your whole life staring at the mark and wishing for it to go away.

But he's not here, he's gone. I don't know where he went or how to find him…

Your friends back home described finding their soulmates before, tried to explain to you what it was like when they locked eyes with them for the first time, but everyone was different. No one could describe exactly how they felt when it happened.

Deep down you thought that it should feel like what happened when you locked eyes with the man on the street, like nothing else existed, just him and you but-

He acted like it was nothing like I was just another person and not the other half of his soul.

You swallow the lump in your throat, emotion from a lifetime of disappointment building, and finally the tears begin to crest and fall over your cheeks. You'd never heard of a one sided soulmate before, of only one person feeling drawn to the other one.

Then again, I've never heard of someone printed with the date of a soulmate who was born so far in the past.

Seeing him for the first time was like taking a bullet to the chest, the sharp spike, followed by the force of gravity jolting you into reality.

But why him?

You think again about how weathered he looked, like he'd been living under a rock for the past hundred years. And then you see the flash of his brilliant green eyes again in your mind, just for a fleeting moment, but it's enough to make the warmth trail along your skin, like the soft caress of a lover.

Was he really born in 1919? Or was this just another joke? Another way for the universe to laugh at me?

Frustrated tears blur your eyes as you stroke the birthdate on your wrist, heart breaking all over again, because it seemed that even if you had found the man the universe designated for you, he didn't care.

One Year Later: Present Day

You sigh loudly and hold up another dress in front of your body looking at yourself in the mirror. You had no idea what you were going to wear to Annie and your brother Hughie's housewarming party and you only had about another thirty minutes before you had to leave.

Your brother had been living in New York longer than you had, but he still made time for you. The two of you got lunch every week and it was your fault that he met Annie.

Meeting her yourself had been a complete fluke. You'd been sitting at your favorite bench in Central Park by the pond, reading your favorite book, allowing the gentle prose of the author to whisk you away for a few minutes, when someone sat down beside you and promptly began to cry.

And when you asked her what was wrong she'd told you everything about her problems at work and although you'd never been the best at comforting other people, you'd taken her to the closest coffee shop and the two of you had bonded over Chai Tea lattes.

You'd invited her over to watch a movie with your brother one Saturday night and then had a front row seat when the two of them realized that they were meant to be together. You'd tried to be happy for them, but the whole time Annie gushed about Hughie and Hughie stared at her like she was the last glimpse of the sun before it dropped below the horizon all you could think about was that it would never happen to you.

And now one year later, the two of them were finally moving in together in a fancy apartment uptown and you didn't want to imagine what the rent was. Your own studio was enough for you and you were lucky enough to have one that was rent controlled.

But you figured due to Annie being one of the Seven, she was probably making more than your measly teaching salary could ever amount to.

Learning that she was Starlight had been surprising, you weren't a supe, not even close and you didn't want to be. You had your hands full with teaching college kids, and didn't want to think about what it would be like to have superpowers or really what you would do with them. You certainly didn't need them to be a teacher and you didn't want to have them.

Plus, you always worried that you'd get some weird power like shooting webs out of your butt or making it rain blood. You didn't want to take that chance and shooting up Compound V felt like Russian Roulette.

You also worried about your brother working so closely with supes. The two of you hadn’t met any growing up and you worried that he was putting himself in danger every day when he went out to deal with them. But you were happy that Annie went with him, because you knew that she wouldn't let anything happen to him, she loved him too much.

As you hold up a black dress in the mirror you see a flash of the golden birthdate on your arm, and you're unable to fight the emotion that builds in your chest when you do.

It had been a year since it happened, since you locked eyes with a complete stranger on the street and felt your soul intertwine with his and he turned his back on you.

You'd understood that.

Understood that for some reason he decided to turn away like you meant nothing to him, like you weren't the other piece of his soul, and like a part of him didn't call out to you, a lighthouse over a stormy sea to a sinking ship.

It had broken you more than the first time you realized what the date on your arm meant. It always seemed ridiculous that something that brought happiness to millions of others made you feel broken, like there was something wrong with you.

And in that moment on the street something felt right for a few seconds, you felt whole for the first time in your life, only to have everything dashed against the rocks all over again.

But you hadn't forgotten him, couldn't forget him. His green eyes haunted you and each night you dreamed of him.

You saw pieces of his life, his memories, felt his pain, his anger, his frustration, and deep down his fear whenever you fell asleep. You'd never heard of that before, of a soulmate dreaming the memories of another.

You'd asked your neighbor, Mrs. Charleson if she had dreams of her soulmate's memories, she'd said no, but then she said that she'd heard about it, thought that it was only a myth, but it meant that the souls were fated to spend more than one lifetime together.

As if you knew what that meant.

It had broken your heart even more when she said that, because if that were true why did he turn away?

How could he turn away? Why did he leave me standing in the street and acted like I wasn't his other half?

It made you think that maybe he wasn't impressed with you and that he was disappointed that you of all people were his soulmate.

You'd had a mental breakdown at Mrs. Charleson's apartment when you went home early the day you met your soulmate or whatever the hell he was.

She'd made blueberry tea and rubbed you back. And when the tea hadn't worked she had cracked a bottle of red wine and ordered greasy takeout food that the two of you ate on her floral couch while her cats circled like sharks looking for a piece of your chicken and broccoli.

You would have called Annie, but she and Hughie were out of town on a long weekend getaway.

And when you went back to your apartment and crashed into your bed, you'd dreamt of him for the first time.

The memories you'd seen when you closed your eyes that night were not happy at all. You'd seen the early years of his life being berated by his father, years of him drinking and fucking his sorrows away, and then the worst, him being tortured in what looked like a lab. He was a supe, that much you could gather from the memories. But they were filled with pain, suffering, frustration- you'd never met someone who'd been through so much before. Endured so much torture.

You still didn't know his name, didn't see enough of his life to figure out who he was, only that he was different than you in almost every single way. The memories were terrible, filled with blood, death, and pain. It scared you to see your soulmate that way, see him so angry and see him hurt and kill people. You couldn't imagine the kind of man he was, the kind of man who could burn someone beyond recognition and feel absolutely nothing.

It was confusing. You didn't understand how someone who was supposed to be the other half of your soul, was the complete opposite of you. Someone that was filled with so much rage and pain was the man the stars declared was for you.

It doesn't matter anyway. He saw you and didn't want you.

You ignore the lump of emotion in the back of your throat and hold up a navy blue dress, but you hang it back in your closet with a sigh. Nothing seemed to be appropriate for you to wear to the party and you hadn’t been shopping for a new outfit in ages. Not to mention you knew that no matter what you wore Annie would look flawless.

You loved your brother's soulmate, but sometimes you were intimidated by how pretty she was and how together she was. It made you a little self-conscious about the long skirts, sweaters, and blazers you wore when you were at work and you were not together at all.

You seemed to always be running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, frantically running from place to place and trying not to lose the last bit of sanity you had left. While Annie was confident, poised, and glided into each room.

Finally, you reach for a pair of your favorite blue jeans and the same green chunky knit sweater you were wearing the day that you saw him for the first time. The sleeves were long enough to cover the mark on the wrist. You hadn't told your brother or Annie about that day and you didn't want them to see the golden date on your wrist and ask you where your soulmate was.

Guess I'm going a little more casual today.

On your way out you give your cat, Heathcliff, an affectionate scratch behind the ears and grab your purse. You were running a little early this time, early enough to pick up a Snake Plant around the corner at your favorite plant shop, 'Please Don't Die,' as a housewarming gift and then stopped at the liquor store next door to grab a bottle of Annie's favorite wine.

You figured that you'd end up staying late and drinking wine with her long after the party was over.

Hughie opens the door of the apartment when you knock. "Thank God you're here! Annie is freaking out and driving me up the wall-"

"No I'm not! I'm just expressing all the things that have to be done within the next five minutes or I really am going to go crazy!" You hear his soulmate shout back when Hughie lets you in.

The apartment is fancier than yours, all white walls and glass windows that display a view you would kill for. Your brother is wearing a nice light blue button down shirt and navy tie, and his hair is it's usual fluffed and curly self. He looks happy and it warms a piece of your heart because you knew how much that he deserved it. And that's all you wanted for your older brother.

Annie appears, wearing a white dress that wraps over one shoulder and falls to her ankles, effortlessly elegant as usual. It made you feel self-conscious that you'd worn jeans, when Annie was wearing something that made her look like a Greek goddess.

"I am so underdressed." You mutter to yourself

"No! You look great babe. I love those jeans on you." She smiles pulling you in for a hug.

"Well-"

"But please let me do something with your hair." Annie touches the messy bun at the back of your head making a face.

"What's wrong with my hair?"

"Nothing, I'm just going to spruce it up a little bit for you."

"But-"

Annie pulls the bottle of wine and the plant from your arms and shoves them at Hughie. "We'll be right back." And with that she drags you to their shared bedroom.

20 minutes later your hair has been perfectly curled and styled by Annie's skillful hands. She'd even adjusted your make up so that now you're wearing a bold red lipstick and a dark eyeshadow that matches your ensemble. And even you have to admit that you look better than you did moments ago. You usually didn't wear that much makeup, sometimes it made you feel like you weren't you, but what Annie had applied seemed stylish.

"Thanks Annie."

"Of course." She smiles brightly and leads you back out into the large kitchen filled with stainless steel appliances and real marble countertops. "How have you been? Did you finish that paper you were writing?"

By now several people have already begun to gather at different parts of the apartment, talking quietly with one another, while sipping drinks and eating finger food. The sound of their chatter is masked by the Billy Joel song playing from the speaker in the corner.

"Yeah. I submitted it, now I'm just waiting for the department head to read it." You frown at the thought.

"You don't think he'll like it?" She moves to the freezer to grab a bag of ice.

"Dale doesn't like the modern period of literature as much as I do so I'm expecting him to have a lot of critiques and reasons why he doesn't like it." You take the bag from her and set it on the counter.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. I'm used to it. He's never ecstatic about my research work." The thought makes you frown. "Even though he knows it's my specialty and the reason why he hired me."

"Isn’t he the creepy married guy that keeps trying to take you to dinner and wrote all those sensual poems about women who sound nothing like his wife?"

"Yep."

"Ew." Annie's face scrunches up in disgust.

"My thoughts exactly." You sigh looking around the kitchen for an ice bucket. "Do y'all have an ice bucket somewhere or-"

"It should be in that cabinet." She points behind you just as you hear someone knock loudly on the front door.

"Perfect."

The ice bucket is acrylic, see-through, and light pink, but you find it easily. The ice clanks against the sides as you pour, not bothering to watch Hughie open the door for whoever it was that hit the front door of the apartment with so much force you thought it would cave in.

Annie leans against the counter pouring herself a glass of wine and groans to herself when she sees who Hughie was greeting.

"What's wrong?" You ask her, your tongue between your teeth as you try not to spill any of the ice over the perfect countertops.

"I didn't think he would come." She grumbles.

"Who?"

"Ben." Annie all but sighs the name.

"And why didn't you want him to come?" You ask, pouring more ice into the bucket.

"He's just kind of rough-"

"Rough?"

"He works with Hughie. He's a supe. Thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread or whatever.” She sighs again and takes a sip of her white wine to calm down. "Actually he used to be Soldier Boy."

"Soldier Boy? You mean the supe from the 80's that died?"

Hughie didn't tell me he had a dead man working with him.

"It's a long story." Annie waves her hand as if to dissipate the thought, but it doesn’t make you any less curious. "Now he works at the bureau with Hughie trying to keep supes in check. Usually he and Butcher bump heads."

"Oh."

Hughie didn't talk much about what he did with Butcher, or really who he met, but after Homelander disappeared and Stormfront took over as leader as the Seven more supes began to come out of the woodwork, supes that had been afraid before, but now had no one to keep them in check. And although The Seven were feared in the city, no one was feared as much as Homelander.

"I'm sure that he won't try anything Annie. And if he does I'll keep him in check." You smile at your friend.

It's her housewarming party and supe or no if he's a prick I'm going to kick his ass out. Annie doesn't deserve to feel stressed today of all days.

"Thanks babe."

"What are friends for?"

She squeezes your arm and walks away to talk with MM who stands with a little girl who must be his daughter. You'd only spoken to him a handful of times, but he was always eager to talk about her achievements in school. He was so proud of her that it made your heart warm. Her mother wasn't his soulmate, but there hadn't been any hard feelings between MM and his daughter's mother.

That wasn't unusual. You'd known several people who decided to date other people before meeting their soulmate as a way of passing the time. You'd always thought it was ridiculous to commit yourself to someone else and fall in love with them, only to have your heart broken when they met who they were meant to be with.

It was why you hadn't tried to date anyone, because you might have never met your soulmate, but the other person you'd be in a relationship with would. And you didn’t want to give your heart to someone only to have them leave you when they met their other half. Which meant that you were probably going to die alone, especially because your soulmate doesn't want you. It hadn't helped that you'd seen a few memories from your own soulmate with other women over the years, women that didn't look anything like you, women that seemed more confident, more beautiful, and more stylish than you.

Maybe that's why he didn't want me.

Your feel the familiar twinge in your chest when you thought that and fought the tears that burned when you thought of how happy Annie and Hughie were. You didn't want to cry at their party.

The familiar question rises in your head again:

When will it be okay?

Probably never.

You turn toward the freezer holding the now half-full bag of ice intent on putting it back when someone bumps into you. The bag slips from your hands and ice goes skittering across the perfect hardwood floors in every direction, but just when you start to drop to pick it up, you feel a large hand grip your shoulder.

A gasp escapes from your mouth as it makes contact.

As soon as the palm touches you, you feel nothing else, not the shift of the sweater against your skin, not the slight chill from the air conditioner, not the brush of your hair against your cheeks, all you feel is the warmth radiating through your clothes and soaking into your skin from the person's hand.

The hand moves to cup your chin gently, the shock of the person's skin touching yours makes the feeling increase ten-fold as the hand tilts your face up to meet the eyes of the person who bumped into you.

You know it's him before your eyes meet his, know that it's the man from the street who you saw for only a few seconds a year ago, but this time when his beautiful green eyes meet yours everything you felt that day comes roaring back.

He's taller than you remember, shoulders proud and broad stretching a dark gray button down shirt over his chest that have the sleeves rolled up revealing tanned arms. His hair is shorter, still dark brown, but now only long enough to cover the tops of his ears and his beard is shaved so that only a thick dusting covers his cheeks, but it's still him. And he's more handsome than any version you could come up with in your mind.

All sound in the room vanishes, the drone of chatter fades, the clinking of glasses disappears, the only sound that remains is your own heart thudding in your chest and you swear you can hear his beating at the same frequency, both of your hearts calling out to one another.

Your entire body feels like it's vibrating, as if every cell is moving so fast that they're heating you from the inside, leaving behind a molten puddle of what you used to be. A golden cord weaves around the two of you securing your heart to his in your mind, making you gasp as it hooks to his heart binding his soul to yours. Time stops as he gazes at you, something brightening in his green eyes as they absorb your own gaze.

The man doesn't move. It almost looks like he's stopped breathing, and you realize that you haven't taken a breath since he touched your shoulder. His eyes drop down to your right wrist where your hand rests over his heart, where he knows his birthday will be.

You don't remember reaching out to touch him, but now that you realize it, you can feel his heart beating beneath the palm of your hand like a fluttering bird, gentle and judging by the memories you had witnessed from him, nothing about this man was gentle.

"I've been looking everywhere for you sweetheart." The man rumbles, the words vibrating against your fingertips where they rest against his muscular chest. He smiles down at you and somewhere deep down you feel something break open that you thought was locked away long ago.

And as you stand there looking up at the man you thought you'd never see again, the autumn sun warm against your back, you feel a flicker of something that could grow into a blaze spark to life in your chest.

A/N: I hope y'all loved the first chapter as much as I loved writing it! I've never written a soulmate AU, so I am a little nervous about it, but I think that it's going to be a lot of fun! And yes, I did give Ben the same birthday as Dean Winchester (not the same year). In my head Ben is Dean from a different universe, and it just made sense to me. 😂

Thank you so much for reading! Reblogs, likes, and comments are not required, but are always appreciated! I love hearing what y'all think 😊 If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series please let me know! :)

Taglist:

@pamwritessometimes @roger-that-cap @my-obsession-spn @deangirl96 @kr804573

@roseblue373 @52ndstreeet @mrsjenniferwinchester @impala67stellawinchester

[moniquill]

I think one of the disconnects between people learning about 4B for the first time since the election and people who recognize that as a movement it has problematic elements (transphobia, homophobia, authoritarianism, purity policing) is that we live in entirely different fucking universes.

I, a leftist living in a blue state, am vaguely appalled at the idea of pigeon-holing all men based on the actions of the kind of men who voted from Trump... because I never had those men in my life in the first place. I've never had one of those men be brave enough to say to my face that he's a trump voter. I cannot really comprehend the idea of a grown-ass adult who until this very moment has actually been living in the Shirley Jackson/Virginia Woolfe dystopia that was presented to me in Women's Studies in college 20 years ago. I do not know even one woman in my life under the age of 75 who doesn't have a job (unless it's for disability reasons) - I come from a social class where you start working under the table/on the side at elementary school age and you're expected to get a job that pays wages as soon as you turn 16.

In the universe I've lived my life in, OF COURSE I wouldn't sleep with a conservative guy! Discussions of politics and stances on key issues are things that happen BEFORE the first date. "I found out he held [a conservative view]" is a relationship-terminating dealbreaker every single time.

The men that I know, that I'm friends with, even the ones that I'm related to are comrades - lots of them are some flavor of queer, the majority of them are nonwhite, they are capable of being platonic friends with women.

I'm 41 years old and have had zero pregnancies, and no one CLOSE to me, whose opinions I actually respect and care about, has ever given me meaningful push-back about it. The 'Oh you'll change your mind' comments have always come from peripheral people like coworkers and teachers (and I dropped off sharply when I passed age 30)

I was never A Desirable Woman (tm) during the age of social media. I was 33 when Tiktok was created. I did not live in this panopticon, and cannot relate. All I can do is A: Believe the testimony of the women who have had these experiences and B: Advise them on ways that I have avoided those experiences.

"Don't be cruel or hateful to entire categories of human beings based on the way that they were born." does not translate in my head to "You are required to coddle and cater to those people." At all. I don't really understand how anyone makes that leap.

How the fuck have you been in the cage for so long?

[dontexpectmuch]

i know how much you guys love this series, so i give you a new part. this one how ever will be;

comments/feedback is highly appreciated! please, im getting desperate :d

Habits Jude Bellingham might develop before you guys get into a relationship!

(a Lost in Madrid drabble!)

it is no secret that jude just loves to talk. he genuinely enjoys it so much to share any and every thought that goes through his mind, no matter how small it might be. he couldn’t tell when it started exactly, but suddenly he found himself on his way to you, a tired student that just wants to finish their work. as soon as he lifts his hand, knocks on your door and enters the room his lips start moving, talking so lively and fast that you need some time to register what is even happening.

“what do you mean ‘m talkin’ your ear off? you literally study literature and shit!” - “it’s more about reading, jude.” you sigh, wishing for any kind of help at this moment.

it is also nothing new for you to receive messages from jude during your quiet evenings when you decide to stay home. jude recently got into sending audio messages, you being his number one victim [forced] friend, whom he shared this new passion with. and most of the times he won’t even say anything important. he’ll just sing a new spanish song he has learned that past week. and he will sing. no matter how terrible it sounds and how much it makes your ears bleed. though, you also always listen to those audios, even though you know what the content will be.

“jude?” opening your door after hearing a desperate knock, you did not think that you would see your [not] friend standing there. he looks tiredly at you, clothes wrinkled and sandals on, “mum wanted me to bring you some cake she baked.” he gives you the tupperware filled with slices of cake, energy low. you feel your shoulders relax as you look up at him, “tell her i love her, please.” he just nods. and even though he always complains to you about how he is not some delivery boy, he can’t help but get excited at the thought of seeing your soft eyes when you receive food his mum made. it makes him feel giddy inside.

he makes you trip purposely whenever you walk in front of him, and then giggles and jogs away to join the others on the field when you send daggers his way with your glare.

he forces you to play two-touch, even though you have told him multiple times already that you cannot play really well. he quite literally forces you to become better, giving you tips while making you pass the ball against the wall back and forth. “i don’t want to do this anymore, jude.” - “well, that’s too damn bad.” his gaze serious as he corrects your form once more. “bitch.” you murmur under your breath, praying for him to just disappear somewhere and leave you alone.

“what?” you ask as you look up from your notes, eyes wide as you watch jude place a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll onto your desk. “i heard that you like sweets, or whatever.” he says, [desperately] wanting to look cool. your heart starts to pick up in speed when you look back and forth between jude and the things he just gave you, warmth spreading through your body. “thanks.”

“watch me.” he smirks at you, who looks quite annoyed tired at him. “i’ll hit this first time.” - “like you did to me on my first day here?” - “dude! i told you not to talk about it anymore, ‘t’s a sensitive topic for me, ‘kay?”

heartfelt conversations between you are not as rare as one might think. whenever jude comes to you to talk your ear off while toi work on your research, you sometimes tell him about your own stuff. that leads to various topics you two discuss, which also results in sharing some intimate thoughts. it makes jude, who usually looks so confident and well put together, look more human, like a 20 year old guy who also learns something new every day.

—————————————

surpriseee! hope you like it!! :)

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Hey, you.

If you're American, and you've been having a hard week egg for.. reasons -

I have something to say to the Americans.

Just remember.

They aren't immortal.

Nobility has lied for centuries. They told us they were placed on the throne by God - the rule of the king being the will of the Creator.

The French proved them wrong.

You are young. They are human. They will one day die.

And on the day they die - regardless of if hell is real or not - there will be a movement when they are laying on that death bed. They will feel their live slipping from their grasp.

And they will feel the fear.

The possiblity of eternal consequence.

They will fear what waiting for them on the other side. The one journey they cannot buy their way out of. The moment the bell tolls for thee.

And honestly, the thought brings me peace.

Trumo and Elon AREN'T demons - though it's so easy to think of them as so.

They are evil humans. And all humans die. Trump? He's 80. He's over three times my age. He's older than my grandmother. He eats McDonald's and Diet Coke like no one's business. Knock on wood I'm betting he's got ten years TOPS.

('I'll be the last president' - my ass. If you take a bad fall it's game over dude. You won't release your health records cause you're most likely due for a heart attack soon mfer. Your minions don't like your candy ass Junior enough to have him as a successor and Baron doesn't fucking care so realistically speaking whats your game plan here? 🤨 Elon's kids have too many daddy issues to take your place. You can't even use a sword. Napoleon would slay you where you fucking stand you pansy)

So if you've been struggling this week, I just wanted to remind you.

Black people won our civil rights without the support from the media, without online social networks, without the support from 90% of white people.

70 years ago, around when my grandma was born - I could not sit next a white person in school. If a white man was walking towards me on the street, I'd have to step into the gutter and let him pass. At risk of being actually killed by the whole town if not.

Nowadays in my city I could tell a white guy my age 'Fuck you!!' to your face. Middle finger and all. And they're not gonna put me in jail for it. No stranger is gonna jump in. The whole town isn't gonna care. If anything, people will just record.

That all happened in ONE generation.

So no matter what Trump does.

Remember. He's not immortal. He will die like we all do.

You're young. You'll have the rest of your life to reverse everything he's done.

That's the thing about personality cults. Once the personality is removed, the whole thing falls apart. And the personality in question is once again - an 80 year old who eats Big Macs and wears suits two sizes too large. A man who would probably get genuinely upset if you asked him to recite his 8 times tables.

If Trump dies in the next 10-20 years, before he turns 100, I'll be 35-45. a.k.a - my generation will be entering the older majority. Our generation will be the eldest and the most influencial. What then?

The Trumpettes won't have their leader for their personality cult so they'll have no one - not even their republican parents - to tell them who to think.

We'll be older, wiser. We'll teach our kids the signs. We'll tell them stories what to do, and invest pubic funds to conserve the history of our fight - to never be erased.

If you're scared this week, I understand.

But remember. We've fought harder with less - and we still won.

So keep your head up. Doom is the tool of the enemy. You keep going, you keep living, and you survive to tear down their legacy while the bastard spins in his grave.

Keep going. Keep your angry hearts and clenched fists. Hold on tight to your love and rage. And keep going.

That's what Hobie would want. That's what a Hobie is there to teach us.

Hope this helped someone, anyone, even if it was a little bit. If this helps you get through the day, or the next hour, with the smallest bit of hope - that's all I want.

Thanks for reading this far! Here's Hobie :)

--------------------------------------------------

And bonus:

Ayo I just gotta add this in here -

Word to god, and when I say this I say this with my whole chest -

I'd be DAMNED before I ever say I'm scared of Donald Trump.

First of all, I'm black and poor. There's been a white man wanting me dead since the moment I left my Mama's hoohaa and guess what, I'm still here. That mfer ain't special. Call me when the klansmen come not when done mfers with tiki torches cosplay call of duty.

Cause none of them coming to the hood..tf.. Try that shit in neighborhood with Bloods and Crips.. Y'all not the only ones with automatics and lots of money. It's just the black people with money and automatics keep shit quiet. If these racist mfers had ppl breaking in they house the way Kendrick had mfers breaking in Drake's with choppers they'd be terrified as fuuuckkk

And secondly there's 4chan fellas out there that probably legit jack off to the idea of a black queer trans person crying in fear. And those mfers can kiss my black ass and kick rocks cause I wake up every day smiling. So -

Anyway I'm done lol

I just had to get this out of my system lol. OKAY BYE FOR REAL

[gracelaurie]

My Man | (Patrick Wilson x Female Reader)

ONESHOOT. Warning : smut, unprotected sex, Reader is a mistress, Reader is younger (around 25 y.o)

➡️ masterlist

“Please calm down...” you said while calming the baby you were holding. To be honest, you actually like babies, you even dream of having a cute baby when you have a family someday. But for more than 3 months now you have been taking care of your aunt’s baby who cries very often and peed his pants, making you think twice again about having your own baby.

You replaced the pants he was wearing, and calmed him down. The baby’s eyes were big and blue, “So gorgeous.” You said in a low voice. Instantly the baby stopped crying. You grabbed the still warm bottle of milk and gave it to the baby. The baby quickly fell asleep in your arms while he was drinking his milk.

You heard the sound of the doorbell. You immediately get up from the sofa, put Vera Farmiga's baby gently in the baby box, you walked over to the door, then you open it.

“Oh, hi Y/N!” Vera said with a big smile, hugging you tightly, her husband from behind walked ahead of her to put some things away, “I’m so sorry because I left this house for 2 days, and thank you so much for take care of him while I wasn’t here. I'm really busy… I don't even sleep enough…”

“Don’t worry, I understand. You are an actress, I understand you are very busy with filming, etc. I’m the one that should be thankful, Aunt Vera… because you gave me this job when you knew that I'm literally unemployed after graduating from college.” You said as you walked with your aunt towards the living room.

Vera smiled at you, then she approached her baby, "You should have a bright future, Y/N. You can’t be a nanny for my baby forever.”

“No problem…besides, I’m happy to help you. After all, you are my only family in this city, I feel the need to help you, considering that you have been paying for my sister's school fees.” you said, sitting next to Vera.

“You’re a good kid, Y/N. You know, I have acquaintances to help you start your career, you know…” Vera said with a smile that signaled something to you.

“No, I can't...” you said softly refusing while lowering your head.

“Why not? You're still young, it's not too late if you want to have a career in acting.” Vera grabbed your shoulder, “I’m not forcing you, but I think you should think about it if you’re interested.”

“No, but thank you, aunt Vera,” you said while smiling faintly. This is not without reason, you cannot accept the job, it is very risky.

Not because you are shy or doubt your abilities. To be honest, you could do all the work, because of your enterprising nature and totality in doing a job... but you can't let yourself to be an actress.

You are Patrick Wilson’s only mistress. Yes, he is Vera's co-worker. The Conjuring universe films- which they starred, were certainly successful.

This whole affair started 5 years ago. When your aunt Vera took you to the premiere of the film Anabelle Comes Home. That’s where you first met Patrick Wilson. Of course you didn’t become his mistress at that time, but you guys have shown interest, by looking at each other. However, Patrick was reluctant to talk more closely with you considering that you were Vera's nephew, and at that time you were still around 20 years old.

A few months after that, you met him at a bar. You, who was very drunk at that time, seduced Patrick and you two had sex afterwards. You swore that you would never fuck with someone else’s husband again, even though Patrick had a big-hard cock, and he fucked you really good that night. but you still feel guilty and try not to see him again.

But fate says otherwise, you meet him again in random places. When he was exercising, you saw his shirtless body, he was sweaty and sexy. And yes for the second time, he fucked you in the warehouse where you worked part-time while you were still in college.

He inserted his hard-wet cock to your pussy, mixed with the sweat on his body. But that’s not the end of it.

Since then, Patrick bought another phone specifically to contact you. He knows that if he uses the phone he usually uses, his wife will always check and of course that won’t make your affair last for more than 4 years.

That night Vera offered to stay at her house for the night considering that it was already late. But you politely refused, because you felt uncomfortable staying overnight at your aunt’s house again.

You walked through the night carrying your tote bag and wearing a thick scarf around your neck. The distance between Vera's house and your apartment is not too far, maybe because you prefer walking rather than taking public transportation, so you don’t have a problem walking for 30 minutes.

When you arrived at your apartment and opened the door to your room, you were surprised to see who was currently in your bedroom.

You saw Patrick still wearing his formal suit, he was standing beside the bed, staring at you sharply as if he was going to devour you right there.

“I left my wife and kids at home to see you tonight. I can't sleep, I can't work professionally, I’m a mess, I keep thinking about you.”

When you were about to reply to his words, Patrick quickly walked over to you, “I hope it’s all worth it. What’s inside me is like there’s no sign of life when we haven’t met, when I haven’t fuck you so hard.”

You and Patrick haven’t seen each other for the last 2 weeks because he was busy with work and spending time with his family. But what you see is the unhappiness shown on his face.

You were everything to Patrick, apart from sex. He really loves you, now that’s the problem. You both truly love each other. It wasn’t fair to his wife, but you couldn’t do anything, you were weak towards Patrick, you felt that you would be like this forever.

You dropped your tote bag on the floor, grabbed Patrick’s face and you two kissed. Patrick removed the scarf that was around your neck, he continued to kiss you as he carried you and placed you on the soft and comfortable bed.

Patrick took off his suit and tie with a rough movement. He kissed you aggressively and intensely. You kissed Patrick while holding his chest, then he removed his lips from yours, and opened your clothes and skirt.

Patrick kissed your neck hungrily, he cupped your breasts, “I love the color,” Patrick whispered as he rubbed your lacy red bra, “but I would rather see you completely naked.” Patrick took off your bra, then your panties.

Patrick licks your nipples while inserting his big-hard cock into your vagina.

You moaned as he started to fuck you on top. This time without foreplay, he fucks you so roughly and fast. “I've been waiting for this for a long time, you know that, slut?” said Patrick in a breathless voice.

You can feel, he’s already come in your vagina, but he doesn't remove his hard-cock from your vagina at all, he’s continues to fuck you.

He grabbed both of your legs then lifted your legs up, while speeding up his movements from before.

Patrick fucked harder while you moaning out loud. He kissed your thigh where your leg was now on his shoulder, “Fuck Y/N. I can’t let you sleep until morning.”

You can feel your bed sheets starting to get wet. you screamed, “Patrick…. I was a virgin before you fucked me the first time.” you said, which somehow came out of your mouth in the middle of your climax.

“I didn't know that." Patrick said then he kissed your neck very aggressively and bit your neck.

“…and I've never fucked anyone but you." you said while groaning in pain.

“I should’ve realized that." Patrick said then the two of you come together. But Patrick come inside. This is something he has never done before to you, because he doesn’t want to get you pregnant.

But hearing that you’re a virgin who has never fucked a man other than himself, it makes Patrick release a lot of sperm inside you.

“Forgive me,” Patrick whispered in your ear, he hugged your body and kissed your cheek gently.

“It’s okay Patrick, I can take the pills,” you said, touching Patrick's hair.

“I won’t force you to do that, Y/N,” Patrick replied, he looked at your face seriously, “I know you work as Vera’s babysitter all this time, I know you don’t have the heart to do it.”

You just stay silent. Honestly, what Patrick said is true, you are a typical woman who has a motherly heart, you wouldn’t have the heart to abort your pregnancy if you have Patrick’s baby.

“Hey, it’s up to you, okay, I don't want to burden you, you’re everything to me,” said Patrick looking at your worried face, “If you want to have the baby, I'll be responsible.”

“What responsibility? You will secretly support me and my child while you are still taking care of your child and your wife?”

“No...” Patrick lowered his head, “I haven't told you, have I?”

You don’t understand what he means.

“You haven't checked the news for the past 2 weeks?”Patrick asked then you shook your head, “I divorced my wife for you. We agreed to keep the reasons for our divorce a secret from the public, even though she initially didn't agree. Child custody is in her hands, we can start our relationship from the beginning.”

You smiled at his statement, then you two kissed in the middle of the sparkling night.

You know your relationship might surprise many people, but you are ready to face it all with Patrick by your side.

He’s your man now. Yours.

[prying-pandora666]

On Alucard and Maria

Are there actually fans advocating for Alucard to be written as Maria’s father figure in the new season of Nocturne? Like that would be a good thing and not infinitely creepier? I don’t think they’ve thought this through.

Alucard is the single most popular character in the franchise. He’s also probably the most shipped character. And yet he has only had one canon love interest in the decades since he’s existed. It’s Maria. And you’re telling me that you think that because he’s 300+ and she’s 17-18 when they started living together in the games, that it would be grooming. However, somehow him inserting himself into her life at age 16 when she’s just lost both her parents wouldn’t come off like grooming!?

Does this man look like he should be picking up random children!? He’s literally terrified of his own cursed blood. Maybe LISTEN TO HIM.

I’m convinced fandoms have forgotten what that word means. Grooming has specific features. It doesn’t just mean “older guy and younger girl.” A relationship with an age gap or an uneven power dynamic can be exploitative or abusive without being a case of grooming. Grooming specifically refers to the process of forming a relationship with a child with the intention of leveraging that relationship and trust to train and prepare (aka brainwash) your victim for the harmful activities the groomer wants to normalize. The relationship Alucard and Maria have in the games is in no way grooming. You know what would be grooming though?

Coming into a 16 year old’s life when she’s vulnerable, traumatized, and recently orphaned only to insinuate yourself as a new father figure. This is so highly inappropriate and a huge red flag. Consider what you’re actually asking for here. These characters do not exist in a a vacuum. They have a long history together as each other’s only canon love interests. You cannot fully extract them from the games, art, interviews, audio dramas, animations, and more where they’re depicted as a couple. There are decades of this precedent and you are asking Netflix to knowingly take the characters with an established romantic dynamic that the audience is already primed to see as romantic and instead portray their meeting as him trying to be her new daddy?

“Oh look! Alucard and his… daughter? Yikes.” This is an official advertisement btw.

THAT is grooming! Think about the optics of this! It would be abysmal! No it would NOT fix the problem of their age gap to make him act like a groomer and get in good with her as a dad. You just cannot completely extract them from the legacy of their relationship in the source materials. It will be incredibly creepy and textbook grooming if you get your way.

Is this really what you want to associate with an “adoptive father Alucard”? Because the art we create doesn’t exist in a vacuum. All the old content—official and fanmade—is still going to exist.

What is so objectionable about the original dynamic anyway? It’s a pretty fun subversion of the tired and problematic vampire trope of “vampire man stalks teen girl and coerces her into being his”. Instead in their original relationship, Maria is the one who pursues Alucard! It’s the young woman who takes initiative and is given the agency to go after what she wants. She courts and woos him. That’s part of the fun!

Yes, Alucard is 300+. He’s also a fictional creature that doesn’t actually exist IRL and stays eternally young. There are no actual people who will ever have his problem of staying 20 forever so it’s rather silly to say he can’t date any humans because of course he will have an age gap with any of them.

The only real problem I have seen people bring up is Maria’s age, but from what I can tell, the show’s already fixed this. Check it out.

In The Games

Rondo of Blood: Maria is 12. She and Alucard do not meet. Richter is a brother-figure and not romantic.

There is then a 5 year time skip.

Symphony of the Night: Maria is 17. She and Alucard meet to save Richter. At the end, Alucard says his goodbyes and intends to return to a life of solitude. Maria goes after him because she has developed feelings for him and doesn’t want him to suffer a life alone.

Maria is given agency to pursue what she wants and prove herself even against Alucard’s resistance and hesitance to let another person into his life.

They spend a year together before we get the audio drama.

Nocturne of Remembrance: Maria continues to try to get close to Alucard. They end up saving each other’s lives and in the end he finally confesses his romantic feelings for her. She is an adult and perfectly able to make her own choices. She chose him. He admits he returns her feelings.

How fandom can look at a story about a young woman subverting the trope and chasing the vampire to get what she wants—basically an anti-Bella Swan—and still find a way to disempower her just so they can pearl clutch? I couldn’t tell you.

So now let’s look at what the show did.

In The Show

Nocturne S1: Maria is 16. She’s been aged up from 12, probably to give her a more active and believable role. But this also means she’s within a normal age to start feeling attraction and expressing her wants. Within her society, she’s even considered of marriageable age. However we are spared the discomfort of our modern values clashing with her contemporaneous ones because Maria in this season isn’t interested in romance. She’s interested in revolution, equality, justice. They’ve portrayed her with so much love and strength. There is no indication they’d betray her by writing her as the child victim of a male suitor. In fact she only meets Alucard in the final few seconds of the season and the two do not even speak a single word to one another.

Now let’s remember the games had a five year time skip. The show only needs two years to get Maria to the adult age of 18, but assuming the follow through with the timeline and go for the full five?

Maria will be 21.

21.

Fan concept for adult Maria. Credit:@esp-art

Are you telling me a 21 year old woman is not old or mature enough to make her own decisions? How is this not a total infantilization of women? Do you think a 21 year old badass vampire hunter needs protection from the ace depressed dhampir boy who just wants to sleep and has in no way tried to pursue her until after she expressed consistent and persistent interest in him?

It is not “grooming” to meet someone when they were younger and then meet them again years later as an adult. That’s a thing that happens! In real life! Adults can still make decisions for themselves! It is only grooming if Alucard behaved in a way that would manipulate teen Maria and put her under his control and authority before she can consent. There is no indication that Alucard in the show is going to do this. And yet the fandom is basically demanding it by saying he should make her “his baby girl”?

And what of Maria’s feelings in all this? She just lost her mother and was betrayed by her father shortly after discovering he even existed. She has lived her whole life without a father. She is in no desperate need of a new one. And if she does need a family member, she already has one! Richter is 19 and is her trusted adoptive brother. Why wouldn’t she go to him over a total stranger she just met and who is half vampire - literally a predator creature that feeds on humans!?

Yeah, hi, Richter Belmont still exists. He and Maria consider each other family. Why would you want her relying on a strange man she just met as a “father figure” rather than her trusted and loving brother?

Have none of you even considered how Maria would feel if Alucard even tried to fill the paternal role? He’d have to force it on her through manipulation and coercion. No way she would want to view him that way. Especially considering she is 16 and likely to be as attracted to the sparkly 20 year old looking sculpted marble beauty as anyone else!

Don’t mind the beautiful eternally young man who looks made of pure porcelain and light. No teen girl has ever been attracted to this, right? No way it could be exploitative and creepy for him to present himself as her new daddy, giving himself authority and influence over her as his child to mold as he wishes, right? Oh yeah, this is MUCH better than Maria pursuing him of her own volition once she becomes an adult, right guys?

We are truly in the stupidest dark timeline.

Frankly, I don’t care if Netflix has them get together or not. They would work just fine as friends too. I just sure as hell hope they’ll ignore the fans clamoring for a creepy daddy/daughter dynamic. Dressing it up as “concern” won’t hide that for some it’s a fetish, and for others they’re just useful idiots who haven’t thought it through.

I implore you to think it through.

[dr-spectre]

MY SPLATOON OCS!!!

Imma share my Splatoon ocs with you all. I have 6 of them to share and i hope you guys like them. I'll show you what their main outfit is, their secondary outfit, general info, likes, dislikes, favourite idols, stuff like that!

THIS IS A VERY LONG POST SO KEEP THAT IN MIND! I HAVE WARNED YOU!!!!!!!!!!

YOU READY?!? ENJOY!

Sunny

Age: 19, She/Her, Sexuality: Lesbian

Sunny is a 19 year old inkling who attends university. She's very peppy, energetic, outgoing and emotionally intelligent as she's able to pick up on peoples emotions very quickly. Sunny has a large circle of acquaintances but a small group of people she would actually consider friends. Her days are very busy as she juggles between university, hanging out with friends, engaging in hobbies and being with her mum, dad and younger sister.

Although she may seem bubbly and happy on the surface, deep down she has tons of spiraling thoughts in her head that she constantly tries to shut down by keeping herself busy, which leads to her being exhausted after each day. She cannot handle darkness and pure silence and needs nightlights and white noise to help her sleep.

Likes:

Shopping

Dress up

Fighting games

90s style Anime (not actual 90s anime, just anime in the style from our 90s in the splatoon world)

Sports/outdoor activities

Ice cold drinks and spicey food

Dislikes:

Bugs

Darkness

Cold weather

Birds

Loneliness

Country music

Favourite weapon: Hero shot

Favourite sub weapon: Burst Bomb

Favourite special: Trizooka

Favourite Idol: Frye - Loves her feisty personality and rooting for an underdog. She managed to grab a selfie with her out of sheer luck and has kept that photo ever since in her locker.

Fun trivia: She was the second Splatoon oc i came up with, i used a female Inkling for Splatoon 3 at launch and after making a gear set for competitive play, the idea of Sunny came into my brain and she was slowly developed from there.

V

Age: 20, He/Him, Sexuality: Heterosexual

V is a 20 year old Inkling who used to live in Inkopolis before moving to Splatsville after the Final Fest as it was cheaper to live there. He is quite shy and non-talkative most of the time and he genuinely likes to be by himself. However that doesn't mean he is rude, he's very caring and compassionate but he's not the best at expressing that kindness due to poor social skills.

He spends a lot of time in ranked matches to earn money where he grew a name for himself and his aggressive playstyle with his main being the Roller class. V used to do Salmon Runs as well before quitting after it became too stressful for him. When he's not doing turf war matches or ranked, he loves to lounge about, playing video games, listening to music and engaging in Idol content.

However, V is quite sensitive and any sort of comment or judgement from teammates in matches will make him shut himself off and try his hardest not to cry. He also has anger issues and can let his anger get the best of him. Due to him overusing the Kraken Royale special in matches, it gave him... unwanted side effects...

If he becomes too angry he will transform into a kraken and go on a rampage. Another side effect from abusing the Kraken Royale special is that he also has the ability to grow squid tentacles from anywhere on his body which he can control like arms. Although he doesn't use this ability in matches as it would get him into trouble.

Likes:

Video games/Video game collecting

High paced music (Drum and Bass)

Photography

Painting

Cold weather

Milkshakes

Dislikes:

Condescending people

Tight clothing

Flying insects

Most vegetables

Splattercolour screen

Unexpected routine changes

Favourite weapon: Splat Roller

Favourite sub weapon: Splat Bomb

Favourite special: Kraken Royale

Favourite Idol: Callie - Is a massive fan of hers and has tons of merch of her. His friends make fun of him for his obsession which makes V feel incredibly embarrassed and blush like no tomorrow. He sleeps with a Callie plushie every night to help himself fall asleep.

He even got to meet her during his birthday when he was out with some friends in Inkopolis Plaza. He was stuttering and was extremely nervous when talking to her, but Callie just wished him a happy birthday, gave him a hug and her signature on the inner part of his visor. She even told him that if he wants someone to talk to he can just knock on the window at Inkopolis Plaza, and he did just that the next day.

Fun trivia: V was the first Splatoon oc i made. He is based off of the Inkling i used to rock in Splatoon 2 and i developed a character based on that. the name "V" comes from the animal, vampire squid. The kraken and tentacle abilities he has are inspired by the Venom symbiote in Spider-Man media and the classic Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde dynamic in media.

Hapalo

Age: 21, He/Him, Sexuality: Asexual

Hapalo is a 21 year old Octoling born in the Octarian domes and was brought to the surface with his family when he was VERY young. He is a kind soul and brings a gentle vibe with him. He is very interested in Inkling culture and loves exploring and consuming new art, writing, movies, tv shows, music, etc. whenever he can. He also does poetry and other forms of writing to express himself. He even won writing competitions at school at Inkopolis and he still keeps those cheap plastic medals up on his wall.

Hapalo also works at a library where he sorts books and manages things. He sometimes reads stories to young Inklings and Octolings and he's always delighted to interact with them. He even sometimes sneaks in milk cartons for all of the kids when his supervisor isn't looking.

However, Hapalo is very against getting into arguments and anything too overwhelming. Anything that disrupts his chill mood makes him incredibly upset and he needs to be alone to calm down. He's also very sensitive to certain sounds, smells, tastes and textures.

Likes:

Writing

Movie nights

Sushi

Swimming (in Ink pools... not water)

Birds

Tableturf card collecting

Dislikes:

Arguments

Drinks with solids in them

Mayonnaise

Crowded spaces

Social media

Unorganised areas

Favourite weapon: Snipewriter 5H

Favourite sub weapon: Sprinkler

Favourite special: Tacticooler

Favourite Idol: Marina - Finds her cute and loves her style of music. He also finds some relatability in her as she's also an Octoling. He got to meet her during the Final Fest and they talked about Inkling and Octoling culture and art.

Fun trivia: Hapalo's name is based on the scientific name for a blue-ringed octopus Hapalochlaena lunulata. I came up with the idea of him based on the male Octoling that i used to use in Splatoon 2, however i only started developing him months back.

Bloom

Age: 20, She/Her, Sexuality: Bisexual

Bloom is a 20 year old Octoling who grew up in a chaotic household in Eeltail Alley with five younger brothers and a mother who has gotten pretty sick. She is pure chaos incarnate, she's extremely energetic, excitable, sassy and is always looking to get rough and dirty. Bloom is always out and about, riding an old motorbike, rock climbing and sneaking into gyms to work out for free as the memberships are too expensive for her. She even attends motorbike races and dirt bike competitions as a racer which gives her some decent cash.

Although she still comes home on time to take of her brothers and her mother. She has a kind heart but she won't miss an opportunity to push peoples buttons which can land her into trouble.

Bloom also has an interest in the water ever since she was a kid. She would often put her finger and other limbs in bodies of water to see how they would react to it.

However, she often acts very jokey and silly with others in order to hide pain she's feeling. Bloom worries about her mother constantly and dooms over if something bad is gonna happen to her and her brothers. She'll tend to isolate herself from others or be overly attached to her friends.

Likes:

Her family

Old machinery

Motorcycles

Working out

Dancing

Fizzy drinks

Dislikes:

School

Winter clothes

Sleep

Really sterile places

Charger mains

Choc mint ice cream

Favourite weapon: Luna Blaster

Favourite sub weapon: Fizzy Bomb

Favourite special: Zipcaster

Favourite Idol: Pearl - She loves listening to her raps and enjoys her spunky energy. Bloom managed to meet Pearl when Off the Hook were touring near Splatsville. Pearl took a breather and that's when Bloom found her and said how much she loves her music and how she's a big fan. Pearl was a little put off by her energy at first but eventually warmed up to the excited Octoling and gave her a fist bump and a thank you.

Fun trivia: Her name is based off of a name for a group of jellyfish. I decided to base her name from that because the colour and hair choice i picked for her reminded me of jellyfish.

Lilly

Age: 18, She/Her, Sexuality: Bisexual

Lilly is an 18 year old Inkling who is the younger sister to Sunny. She is sort of a shut in and spends most of her time indoors on her PC. She used to be talkative at school, but over years of bullying and being talked down to by everyone, she became a recluse and avoids going outside due to anxiety and a skin condition that makes her sensitive to sunlight so she always brings an umbrella with her when going out on a bright day.

Lilly is a digital artist and hoarder of random technology, ranging from old laptops, hard drives, video game consoles and rhythm game controllers like guitars and DJ turntables. She runs a website where she takes commissions, although she doesn't get much money it's still pretty good cash. She doesn't attend school and still lives with her parents.

She can be quite cheeky and has a weird way with her words that make interacting her feel... off. She can also be quite perverted in her speech but she won't push any boundaries if the other person is uncomfortable by her.

Likes:

Technology

Drawing

Rhythm games

Coffee

Anime

Her older sister Sunny

Dislikes:

Outdoor activities

Sunlight

Fruit

Vegetables

Hot weather

Very outgoing people

Favourite weapon: Recycled Brella

Favourite sub weapon: Autobomb

Favourite special: Crab Tank

Favourite Idol: Marie - Finds her extremely attractive and cool. She was her sexual awakening when she saw Marie dance from a video online. Lilly even purchased a giant Marie plushie to snuggle with and has kept hidden from her family in her cluttered closet.

Fun trivia: Lilly is based off of Futaba Sakura from Persona 5. I wanted to have a character that is similar to her, down to the colour choice and personality.

Shinobu

Age: 22, She/Her, Sexuality: Heterosexual

Shinobu is a 22 year old Octoling who grew up in the Octarain domes. She always had trouble in school and was talked down to by her instructors and parents. She was told to "be more disciplined! Be like other Octolings! Stop being lazy!" She was even physically abused by her parents and decided enough was enough and ran away to the surface at age 13, determined to leave her old life behind and start a new.

She quickly adapted to Inkling culture and learnt the language at an insane speed, all fueled by the pain of her past. In fact she adapted so quickly people often mistook her as an Inkling. Shinobu learnt the ways of turf war and discovered a new obsession and career path, music production. She grew a name for herself as an indie music artist and currently has 3 albums with 13 songs in each. She has a unique musical style that involves sampling the Idols' vocals and making tracks that blend jungle drum and bass, and pop.

She also became obsessed with fashion and is always constantly making new outfits for herself. Shinobu also has a rare disorder that affects the pigment in her ink which causes it to switch between purple and pink at random. Although it doesn't cause her any pain fortunately.

Shinobu is bold, highly determined and sure of herself. She cannot be manipulated or mind controlled. You give her the hypnoshades? She ain't getting hypnotised. You give her the Controller VM? Nothing will happen. However if she hears the Calamari Inkantation she can't help herself and starts dancing like crazy.

She has a chill demeanor and never lies no matter what, she is always compelled to tell the truth even if it'll hurt her or the other person. She is also very empathic and understanding of others and will always be there for her friends and the ones she loves.

Shinobu also has a very excited side to her when alone or with someone she's very close with. She has a huge smile on her face, is very touchy and is giddy.

However she often suffers from nightmares and anxiety which cause her to not get very much sleep. She's sort of a night owl and not by choice...

Likes:

Reading

Plushies

Tea

Roller skating

Pajamas

Tableturf card battles

Dislikes:

Small or cramped spaces

Heavy metal music

Sand

Public transport

Loud sounds

Messy places

Favourite weapon: Splatana Stamper and Charcoal Decavitator

Favourite sub weapon: Burst Bomb

Favourite special: Inkjet

Favourite Idol: Shiver - Loves her style of singing and how she's a shark tamer. She often watches videos of her performances and gets all giddy and yells when Shiver does kakegoe.

Fun trivia: Shinobu is based off of the character of the same name in No More Heroes, Shinobu. I wanted to make a Splatoon oc that was a cool fighter that wields a Splatana and i developed the idea from there.

Sunny's relationships

V: Solid friends

Hapalo: Good acquaintances but nothing too special

Bloom: BESTIES!

Lilly: Love her to death

Shinobu: Thinks she has cool style

V's relationships

Sunny: Cool gal

Hapalo: Friend since school

Bloom: Likes her energy

Lilly: Think she's funny and a good time on voice calls

Shinobu: Girlfriend, loves her a ton : )

Hapalo's relationships

Sunny: Likes her positive attitude

V: Hope he's doing okay

Bloom: Not on good terms after an... incident at the library...

Lilly: Impressed by her art skills

Shinobu: Feels bad for her

Bloom's relationships

Sunny: BESTIES!!!!!!!!!!

V: Feels like he should open up more but he's still a nice friend

Hapalo: Doesn't like him. Aside from his hair

Lilly: Thinks she's a little weird...

Shinobu: Doesn't like her attitude but feels sorry for her past

Lilly's relationships

Sunny: Little jealous of her but still loves her

V: A good friend to play games with

Hapalo: Doesn't understand how he thinks her art is good...

Bloom: A bit put off by her energy...

Shinobu: Big fan of her music work

Shinobu's relationships

Sunny: Thinks she's nice but is worried about her busy life

V: Boyfriend, loves his gentle and quiet energy

Hapalo: Likes his writing and can relate to him somewhat

Bloom: Respects her love for her family

Lilly: Thinks her art is great and that she should be more confident

Splashtags

Okay that is it for my Splatoon OCS! If you wish to... i dont knowww... draw any of them..... 👉👈 then DM me and i can give you better looks at them!

THANK YOU FOR READING!

[amaya-143]

hello. part two of me ranting about the fear of memory loss in isat. is it that obvious i have autism?

part one was about the kings fear of forgetting. Go read. *clicks my fingers like a cat* go.

disclaimer not a psychiatrist blahh blahhhh u get the idea :p king rant was long, this will be longer. maybe one singular person is as normal as i am about this game and will enjoy. otherwise at least its out of my system and into words

So yeah, the king is afraid of forgetting. Siffrin, however, is afraid of being forgotten.

Siffrin, is late 20s, and just like the king lost the majority of their memories to the island.The people they loved, all that jazz i don't need to write the cinematics again. They too end up in an unfamiliar place, however they end up a rouge. They travel from city to city, never staying anywhere solid, never making any real connections for years (at least as far as we know.) To him, he is just a guy* who lost everything that they knew, and that's that. No point if it'll just happen again. In fact im not even sure if they're aware they're from that island, since I'm pretty sure he learns it ingame. He just exists. Thats it. Their life doesn't matter, doesn't impact anyone. He is forgettable

But then, they meet Mira, Odile, and Isa. Then Bonnie, and when things couldn't get more confusing, he loses an eye for them. The party loves Siffrin, even if they never say it pregame. They appreciate him. And even if Frin doesn't think it directly, they definitely subconsciously believe it pregame. Otherwise, it wouldn't be such a shock when odile says they're colleagues at best. So how can Siffrin go back to his old life? A life on the go, with no connections, nothing but the millisecond bumps into strangers and polite conversations with the clerk at the hotel desk. Nobody to come home to, no one to ask how their day was.

Its like trying chocolate after eating coco beans all your life. Maybe you can tolerate going back to coco beans for a bit, but you'll never forget the chocolate. It'll be something you think about all the time, your thought before sleep takes you, as tiktok would say your 'roman empire'.

So Siffrin cannot let them go back home. He wishes to stay with them. and thus, the loops happen.But after a bit he, quote, 'understands the king more than he'd like to'

He refuses to be forgotten, to have to go back to that life. They've lived the span of their memories being so blindingly forgettable, now someone, some people see them and its so close in his grasp. Isabeau is so close to confessing to him. Mirabelle is so close to her full potential as a housemaiden. Odile is accepting she's more than her roots. And Bonnie, the kid he lost an eye for, disabling him permentantly, HUGGED them. a massive deal for a fella whos been living off small talk and avoiding eye contact for the last 10 years. Just one more loop, if they do it all right then just maybe..

Not here to talk abt the loops. moving on.

After all these people who love him, they don't wanna be forgotten. Trauma isn't just a factor in disorders. Trauma can, and often does create its own reactions. For a real world example, Children who grow up with absent parents often react with avoiding and distancing tendencies, where as children with emotionally unstable parents tend to grow to be anxiously attached to those they love. These aren't disorders, but they are a reaction to the trauma faced and ingraned. Frin's fear of being forgotten is just as much a trauma response as it is a result of the way he lives. Who knows how many people Siffrin forgot in the island. What's stopping him from being like them? What's stopping him from being so forgettable.

Side note, act 5 is next to the Sunny vs Basil fight as my favorite two scenes in games, especially when it comes to imagining/reading about them in other characters povs other than the mains. And bigfrin is my absolute joy in the world. not sorry.

But after loops n loops of trying to prevent it, hearing off handed comments about how bonnie hates them, and how isa will say i love you to anyone except him, Sif's self worth is at an all-time low. They just don't have it in them anymore. They cant do it. we're looking at months of living the same two days over and over. Same lines. Same people. Same events. Years, if you're an insane person who does like 500+ loops. I think most people did like 70-150 though. Siffrin has been reliving this for so long he's begun to find comfort in it. It feels safe. Its boring, its insufferable, yes, but its SAFE. After suffering all those months, they're leaving anyway. They are going home. They will go home and forget Sif and it will all be for nothing. When Odile stops them from looping back, they strike. Either at themselves, or those they love. They would literally rather attack those they've gone through months of suffering just to spend more time with, or attack themselves time after time till it kills them. They'd rather it than risk them all leaving and forgetting him. I don't really have much more to say i guess i just ugh

i love act 5 i love bigfrin and if theres any writers reading this write some act 5 from other party members pov and you will get the juciest kiss.

if you read all this way, congrats!! i diagnose you with autism 💜

*guy is used as a unisex. i know the correct term for siffrin is fella. i went to gender school.

[aquickstart]

do you guys ever think about how out of them all farleigh was the next real thing. felix haunted the hallways of saltburn with his electric rays of light of naiveté, not malicious but borne of wealth and shelter, and oliver reached for that light like it was the sun. the cattons were adjacent, fantastical islands of that pool of light, and oliver was a drying plant that never saw the real thing and mistook a lamp for a life. an insidious parasitic vine, it's his nature. he offered felix the attention, the quiet adoration, he offered the other cattons the stares, the touch, the longing. and felix was a fantasy, a ghost since day one, a promise of warmth.

but farleigh was there. he was real. he was burning with anger and rage and boiling just beneath the skin. and it irritated oliver, it made him feel something that he couldn't control, and he couldn't control farleigh because he had nothing to offer him: not attention, because farleigh could see right through that front, not control, because you cannot control a 20-year-old incessant fire, not the surrender of it because power and wealth has been a low-hanging, spoiled fruit for farleigh, he yearns for and despises it, he has no desire for it.

killing off a lamplight is painfully reversable, mundane, easy; switch on and off at will, you will not feel a moral dillemma. it is in oliver's nature. but farleigh was real. and what can you do, accustomed to imitation of heat, when met with the raging warmth of life? do you guys think that alive and angry, farleigh was the next real thing. do you think he must live because oliver must know that there is a life at all. do you think

[hikakaomybeloveds]

✨️my favorite hitachiincest moments✨️

these ridiculous homos (affectionate) are living rent free in my head and i *need* to rant abt them, so without further ado, here are my favorite hitachiincest moments, in episode order! ohshc spoilers abound, etc., etc.

warning for a LOT of yap about my favorite brother kissers below the cut

ep. 4

the fucking. the basketball AU scene. THE BASKETBALL AU SCENE. they took an extremely homoeroticized genre of anime and plopped the twins into it with immense amounts of romantic tension and i'm just supposed to be, like. completely fine???? well i am not fine. i am in fact writing basketball player! hitachiin twins hitachiincest fanfic in my head as i type this.

ep. 5

THE ADMISSION THAT THEY SLEEP IN THE SAME BED. THESE BOYS ARE, WHAT? 15, 16ISH YEARS OLD? AND HIKARU IS TALKING ABT HOW KAORU SLIPS INTO BED W/ HIM EVERY NIGHT BC NEITHER ONE LIKES SLEEPING ALONE. Y'ALL. *Y'ALL*.

THE FACT THEY WERE FAKING THEIR WHOLE FIGHT. honey mentions he's known them since pre-school and they've never fought, and once they actually do, THE FIGHT ISN'T EVEN REAL.

the fact that they do the whole "brotherly love" bit when they apologize abt what they said to each other when they were "fighting" but there are literally NO guests around. like. these boys absolutely just enjoy the ridiculousness and performativity of making their relationship look like that lmao

ep. 7

no hitachiincest moments here for me, but i am putting an honorable mention for honey and mori. like. this was so their episode, guys. (i ship them too, which should be a surprise to absolutely no one)

ep. 12

again, no hitachiincest here bc the universe hates me ig, but another honorable mention for honey and mori. like. *them*. *their dynamic*. aughhhh akdrjwgwusjags *THEM*

ep. 14

this episode has what is singlehandedly my favorite "brotherly love" moment in the entire anime. like. that shot of kaoru's neck as hikaru tilts his chin up will live rent-free in my mind forever.

ep. 15

the start of this episode. oh my god. THE START OF THIS EPISODE. sleepy kaoru in bed with hikaru trying to wake him up. both of them in bed shirtless. kaoru DRAPING HIMSELF OVER HIKARU AS HIKARU ANSWERS THE PHONE. i- dear lord they starved us hitachiincest shippers for a bit but by GOD did they make up for it

"i guess you guys really are always together" "always" HIKARU. HIKARU YOU CAN'T BE DOING THIS TO ME.

hikaru's reaction after kaoru gets hurt!! it's just a minor scrape but hikaru is so worried abt him!! the "don't scare me like that"! HIKARU'S HEAD RESTING ON KAORU'S CHEST!

the scene after that, where they're alone in their room in the bed and breakfast and hikaru is actively SHAKING because he's so scared abt what could've happened to kaoru, and kaoru reassures him that he's fine, and everything's okay. like. my god. i love them sm

ep. 20

i love this episode if only bc we get twin lore. like. i love their lore sm. ALSO. the usage of the word "twisted" in regards to them meaning both "wrapped together/entwined" AND "abnormal"? like YES. they ARE twisted and i'm obsessed with it!!

ep. 21

when hikaru and haruhi get trapped together and hikaru's first thought after complaining about them being trapped was "where's kaoru, i *have* to find him", freaking out enough about where he was to literally immediately start trying to escape the net so he could go find him!!! like!! we're in the middle of the codependency arc and this man STILL cannot stop. (and i love him for it)

them reuniting!! kaoru blushing the second he sees hikaru!! the hug!! the fact that hikaru was so worried abt finding kaoru he LOST HARUHI?? like!! no one will ever be as important as kaoru to him and that 👏 is 👏 a 👏 fact 👏

KAORU'S FACE WHEN HE REALIZES THAT HIKARU SPED OFF TO FIND HIM. LIKE. THAT MAN IS *THINKING*. HE HAS SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS.

KAORU'S LINE ABOUT HOW "EVERYTHING'S FINE" BECAUSE HIKARU RAN TO HIM. HE'S STARTING TO REALIZE HE DOESN'T WANT TO LOSE HIKARU TO HARUHI. THAT HE STILL CARES ABOUT HIM IN THE SAME WAY AS ALWAYS AND CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE HIM.

kaoru's face when he sees hikaru walk off with haruhi. that is not the face of someone who is happy or likes what's happening!! he's upset!! he doesn't want to do this!! but he's sacrificing himself and his feelings so that maybe, just maybe, hikaru can be happy without him one day!

how kaoru says himself he's not sure what he'll do once hikaru realizes he wants to do things alone!! he doesn't know what'll become of him without his brother!! maybe he doesn't *want* to know, because he's scared of losing hikaru! he wants things to stay the same, but he also wants so desperately for hikaru to have someone other than him, and a life outside of their little bubble! he's self-sacrificing for hikaru!!!

ep. 25

i am probably looking too deeply into this but. i believe that comment from kaoru abt how just because he and hikaru are twins doesn't mean they'd both be good drivers is like. the first time in the whole show he acknowledges, AROUND/TO HIKARU, that they're different people. like. guys. guys CHARACTER GROWTH

aaandddd...

that's everything!

if u made it this far, ty for listening to my rant abt my favorite gay twins of all time <3

expect more hikakao from me bc i will never get over these two

[always-is-always]

As much as I/we miss the guys, I personally feel that their time in the military is a BIG gift. Time away from the public eye, cameras, media, and all of that stuff...

Especially Jimin-ah and Jungkook-ah. I would dare say that this is the longest amount of time that they have had away from the public, away from invasive cameras, and at the same time sharing the same space. Yeah, it's the military, but they are TOGETHER as companions. 18 months, together. Sleeping next to each other every night, together. Eating meals, together. Yeah. Together together.

Yes, I miss them. And, at the same time I can't put my feelings above the fact that they are getting a well needed break from us/ARMYs, and from the heavy burden of being BTS. It's like they are having the experience of being regular Human Beings, for 18 months.

I think that many of us forget just how unusual life has been for those seven men. Beginning when they were teens or in their early 20's. They have in no way had a normal experience of growing up, into adulthood. The intensity of training, the chaos of sharing living space with each other, and the exposure to CAMERAS 24/7. (Who on earth can live with cameras in every room recording you 24/7??? No privacy???) Not to mention staff being in their space, every single day. Being in the public eye when you don't even know who you are inside of yourself is hard. It can really mess you up, emotionally, mentally, and if you start numbing with alcohol and drugs then it messes you up physically as well... not to mention the Spirit and Soul levels of it all...

The expectations that they have lived with are massive. Put that on the shoulders of a 15 year old, or a 20 year old for any length of time and it has an impact. I personally think it is sad, what they have had to get through, just to be who they are as BTS. All the money in the world cannot give them back the moments of innocence, their ability to be normal guys going through puberty, and to be just regular Humans with regular challenges.

So yeah, I think that this little "sabbatical" that is their military service, is a huge gift. It was the only way that any of them would get any length of time away from the public eye. It was the only way for them to have any length of time just being Human.

While it is exciting for the coming arrival of Jin after he is discharged, I also recognize what he is stepping back into. Being the only member out until October when Hobi returns means that he will be taking on a huge energetic pressure. It will be quite an adjustment for him, like a reverse culture-shock. It will take him some time to really get used to being back out, though we will probably never hear him speak of it.

Jin is brave, to put it mildly. I hope he has all the support he needs, as he transitions out into the public, again.

Circling back to Jimin and jungkook... I do miss them and sometimes wish for some little crumb of something. And at the same time I recognize just how precious this time away is, for them. We are going to see a next-level bond between them, when they return.

In the meantime, happy 2024 FESTA, ya'll! 💜💜💜

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 11)

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by jackhughes, nicohischier, and 251,869 others

y/ndevils00 well… that was painful

welcome back to my post-game recap! if you don’t know who i am because you’ve been living under a rock, or you’ve been in jail (don’t do crimes unless you can get away with them), i’m y/n! or as my boyfriend calls me, ‘dove’! i work as the social media manager for one of the sluttiest teams (and maybe the worst this season…) in the National Hockey League: the New Jersey Devils!

let get into it! your favorite (or maybe least favorite. i wouldn’t blame you!) men from hell lost 4-6 against the patriotic old guys tonight…. i can’t say i wasn’t surprised

we had an absolutely scoreless (and sinless) first period on our end, transitioning into intermission down by 3!

but second period is when we really started heating up! we got FOUR lovely goals by THREE lovely people!!

starting with uncle Toffee!! who scored our first AND our fourth goal!! he’s been so queen girlboss slay recently! who knew he would be this good?! not me! i doubted him severely! (i cannot apologize for my previous thoughts about you uncle, i can only ask you to forgive me anyways because you took my DILH and i’m still recovering)

Timo the absolute Tank Engine got us our second goal of the night with his first goal of the season! and no penalties!! i feel like a proud mother to a usually extremely horribly behaved little boy 🥹

and of course, my favorite whore, my very best swiss, my least favorite kind of cheese; captain slut got our third goal of the night!! THAT’S MY HOE!! POP OFF! (he also got a penalty tonight but i’ve opted not to show that because he paid me $20)

and i could never forget to mention that my beautiful angel of a bad bitch, Rowdy, got an assist on THREE out of four of our goals tonight!! he’s only 3 points away from 20 points already!! THAT’S MY (baby)GIRL!

and third period is when we immediately went as cool as the ice they skate on… giving up three goals (including an empty netter to the oldest looking man alive)… we got no goals of our own and my sweet baby angel face bestie number 1 got a penalty for being too perfect 😔

all-in-all, let’s wish the boys luck against the sabres on friday because apparently they need it! i think friday’s enemy gave them some pretty good advice though and they should put it to use!

p.s. ikea baby and merc-dog are my exact reactions to how badly we played in the third

p.p.s. ovi… when i catch you ovi 🥊😑

tagged john.marino97, tofff73, tmeier96, nicohischier, jackhughes, lhughes_06, jesperbratt, and dawson1417

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jackhughes dove, baby, what is that abomination of a 5th photo?

y/ndevils00 my camera wouldn’t focus :(

jackhughes so why post it?

y/ndevils00 you don’t appreciate my talents

jackhughes i can assure you, i appreciate your talents plenty. photo taking is just usually not one of them

lhughes_06 gross

user29 did she just threaten OVECHKIN?! 😭

user17 i fear we may lose these updates after this threat 😪

jesperbratt what was i 😦 at?

y/ndevils00 i honestly couldn’t tell you— i was too busy wondering the best way to fit you in my pocket

john.marino97 i got a picture?!

y/ndevils00 you got an assist and no penalties!

john.marino97 but dawson got a penalty and no assists and still got a picture?

y/ndevils00 you’re not dawson, the standards for you are different

john.marino97 i’ve known you for 4 years and this is how i get treated? DAWSON HAS ONLY KNOWN YOU FOR 2!

y/ndevils00 you tattle on me, you deserve your treatment

dawson1417 she’s got you there, bud

tofff73 you doubted me?!

y/ndevils00 in my defense, i didn’t know you were chill like that

tofff73 jack has informed me that you cried at the trade, i forgive your doubts

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes YOU’RE TELLING HIM MY SECRETS?!

jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 i wasn’t aware that you usually blast your “secrets” on your instagram story

user81 the random luke picture… y/n loves her smush 🥹

tmeier96 did you just call me a tank engine?

tmeier96 also, i’m OLDER than you!

y/ndevils00 that was a compliment! i’m saying you’re built!

tmeier96 you’re a funny little thing

y/ndevils00 also yes you are older— i said i FELT like a proud mother, not that i AM one. i already have one reckless child at home, i don’t want another

jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 she’s a cat.

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes SHE IS OUR BABY

trevorzegras you love testing how far you can push before you get a warning for your behavior, don’t you?

y/ndevils00 i learned from you 🫶

trevorzegras you’re a cockroach

y/ndevils00 all i’m hearing is that i’m resilient and can live through anything

trevorzegras i hate you

y/ndevils00 you WISH you hated me— if you really did then you wouldn’t facetime me twice a week

nicohischier there are so many things i take issue with about my paragraph

y/ndevils00 is it that it’s not long enough? i’m sorry, i’ll make it longer next time!

nicohischier please DON’T.

lhughes_06 ya know, you were a lot nicer before i joined the team

y/ndevils00 oh good! that means i’m doing this right!

lhughes_06 doing what right?

y/ndevils00 tough love!

dawson1417 i didn’t do anything :(

y/ndevils00 i know, sugarplum!

dawson1417 they jailed me…

y/ndevils00 i can’t imagine how traumatic that must’ve been for you

dawson1417 oh it wasn’t that bad, you were in there too

y/ndevils00 yeah…. lindy put me there in 2nd intermission. he said if i wouldn’t stop chirping the capitals as though i was a player, then i needed to be treated like a player and get a penalty…. then i couldn’t get out because the game started again

dawson1417 you can’t skate, how did you get in?

y/ndevils00 i was betrayed

nicohischier @/y/ndevils00 i stand by it.

y/ndevils00 @/nicohischier YOU ALMOST DROPPED ME TWICE

nicohischier those were on purpose.

dawson1417 and how did you get out?

y/ndevils00 my knight in shining armor!

jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 i didn’t get you out?

jesperbratt i did!

jackhughes oh, yeah, that makes sense

[korshrimpski]

Dahlin is such a fascinating person and such an intresting captain, he’s had a lot of good but with that good comes a lot of pressure or stress (e.g; being draft to the nhl, but he was first which is also cool but makes it have a lot of eyes on you, he was also the second ever Swedish player to be drafted since Mats Sundin back in 1989)

Like rasmus is so scared of failure and disappointment and looks back on his younger self (younger being his 17 year old self) and sees a sad kid. In his house tour he was asked which had more pressure: being a young talent or an established NHL player. He said being a young talent and talked about how the draft was so stressful, and how he was 17 and there was something in the paper about him everyday.

And that pressure hasn’t gone away, obviously because he is an athlete, but he is a sabres and has been in the team for six seasons (this being his seventh) and he is considered a vet even though if he didn’t play any nhl game and entered this year fresh, he could still be considered a rookie. And even though most of the players are 3/2/1 year younger than him there is such an experience gap, and he had to be so much more mature for his age compared to some guys even though they are mature, ras just had to do it quicker. Along with him not being from North America and having to learn a new language and all that.

With the whole vet thing. Zach Benson lives with Ramus. And Rasmus is hoping to provide Zach with the inside and help that he wished he had during his first few years.

“I lived with Casey and I kind of wish I lived with someone like a veteran because it took me a while to understand everything outside of hockey, like getting treatment, eating right and all that,” said Dahlin. “I’m just trying to be there for him and teach him as much as I can about life.”

[source] [archived link]

This obviously does not mean Rasmus regrets having Casey live with him. Of course not. They are best friends. And Casey was one of the main people to help Rasmus with his English and they both leaned on each other for support. And then they traded Casey (for bo byram, which yayy!! But also that was Rasmus friends, buddy, guy, bestie etc etc.) and Kevyn Adams’ called Rasmus during his pregame nap to tell him Casey was traded and, he could not fall back asleep because of pure devastation. And the cherry on top of Casey getting traded, is that ras couldn’t even get to say goodbye. [source] [archived link]

But you know it’s a new season a new coach, he wants to impress at training camp and the first thing he does at camp is get injured. Specifically he hurts his back which lead to back spasms. He missed train camp. He almost all preseason the games, only coming back for the Münich game, getting named captain while in Münich. Then the Sabres opened the regular season up with two loses to the New Jersey Devils. But back in North America the sabres get good and it looks like they are doing well you know, just swept cali, 3rd in the division. But this is sabres hockey we are talking about it cannot be happy. So the sabres proceed to go on a 13 game losing streak. And 4 games into that streak, Rasmus’s back starts acting up so he has to leave in the third period against Colorado.

He was out for 7 games, and during those 7 games the sabres were falling apart. The power play wasn’t working, the penalty kill wasn’t working, tage thompson couldn’t score, alex tuch couldn’t score, jack quinn was getting eternally scratched, owen power was getting benched, there were dylan cozens, owen power, jack quinn, bowen byram trade rumours. Like it was a mess (still is). But ras came but on Dec.20 a home game against the leafs, and it looks like there was energy injected into that roster for the first time in a while. But that game… let’s not talk about it just know it was bad. But since that was a back-to-back with the team travelling to boston, the teams doctors didn’t clear Rasmus to play against the bruins because they didn’t want to aggravate his back.

But now he is officially back and his first game being back was against the New York Islanders (isles fans turn away now). That game against the islanders was beautiful, sabres won 7-1 snapping their losing streak and ras got 4 points and played for 23 minutes (the most out of all skaters that night). Anyways what I’m trying to get at here is that Rasmus might not be the best player in the world but he is the heart of that team. He has been with that team the longest and loves that team, and would do anything for that team.

I don’t actually know how to end this rant/passion text, other than: Rasmus Dahlin is a neat guy who just so happens to have anxiety.

[crazy4httydxartist]

Discuss time for HTTYD Fans!!!

What are your thoughts on the live action because I thought of doing a massive post about here!

Let’s talk Toothless….. I’m a little funny about his design.. especially cause they did the live movie based on the original and he looks more so based on 2&3 versions so…😳

Hiccup on the other hand is okay…. But looks older like in his 20s compared to him as a 14-15 year old??

Uh.. I saw the trailer a few times and seems like it’s similar ish… to the original animated movie so IDK if anyone asked me what I think… HTTYD is way better being animated than a live film! I mean have you guys seen the Disney live actions?!!! I know this is Dreamworks but since when has live movies been better than original movies??!!!

You CANNOT BEAT THE ORIGINAL 😅

HTTYD IS PEAK!

Are you gonna watch the movie next year, or NO?!

I think I will still watch though but.. Nothing will change my mind about the original movie or the franchise!!

[missjomarch]

Hello my lovelies! I hope you had a fun and safe New Years Eve! I wanted to make a little post just showing my appreciation for the last year on Tumblr! I will admit that I am not the best at re-blogging posts that I love. Usually I'm reading between classes, assignments, or right before bed and don't often take the time to share my thoughts on some of the incredible literature on this site. With that being said, I wanted to make this post highlighting some of my favorite works, authors, and stories of 2024. As with all things of this nature, I am very sure some things got left out. This is in no way a comprehensive list of all the works I have enjoyed this year, but just a few I wanted to highlight. If I am in your likes or following, trust that I love and appreciate your presence. So without further ado...Here is Jay's 2024 Tumblr Favorites!

First and foremost is my favorite (only) big sis, of course. If you have not stumbled upon @ladylooch 's blog yet, you are missing a vital part of life. Her AUs are a literal rabbit hole. I started reading about Nico Hischier and I am now emotionally invested in the lives of two original character's and their love story. I love everything B publishes, but this year she gave us a beautiful new story of love and loss, and exploring that world with her has been the highlight of my year. Head over to her blog and jump into an AU, literally any of them. You won't regret it.

@puck-luck...guys. Andy is INSANE!!!! Everything she puts out is delicious, but I specifically fell in love with her 'New Beginnings' series this year and cannot recommend it enough. I don't even like Trevor Zegras like that y'all, but Andy is a literary genius so I fell in love. I have to save her writing for when I am home & in bed because I WILLLLL have a physical reaction. I kiss your brain, Andy girl. Mwah mwah mwah.

@star2fishmeg and @wineauntie , MEG AND IVY! My (sub) Luke Hughes loves and the leaders of the sub! Luke agenda. GOD!! I love you. Your writing, of course. But I also love that you share my most unhinged sentiments about Mr. Baby Hughes. Check out their blogs, friends. The vibes are good and the writing is even better.

This next one...you guysssss...@tkwrites. TK's 'Snap Shot' series had me HOOKED all year. I love Sarah and Quinn. The emotional turmoil and angst mixed with the heartfelt romance is a complex masterpiece. PLEASE go check it out if you're a Quinn Hughes enjoyer, or an enjoyer of good fiction. Also sub! Quinn agenda!!!!

@theemporium!!! I eat up everything my girl Cece writes, but Luke and Cherry specifically had me by the throat this year. Go read 'The Mortifying Ordeal of Being a 20 Year Old Virgin' NOWWW! RIGHT NOW!!

@mikkomacko...you GENIUSSS. Mob Boss Nico Hischier. Need I say more? I don't think so. If I could have a real Tumblr wrapped, part 4 & 5 of that series would be my most reread fics for 2024 I promise you. The dynamic of Nico and reader, bestie Timo, baby Alex (RIP, give him back Vegas). It is all perfect girly pop. Everyone go read.

I started reading for Will Smith this year because @yankstrash and I cannot be normal about Boston College hockey. @peachhcs Will Smith AU gave me everything I needed and MORE. I can't decide if I want to be Samy or be WITH Samy. They are just sooo *heart eyes*. Also Sub! Will agenda. (Damn, can y'all see a pattern?) Em, I love you and your work. Keep it up lovely.

Alrighty, that about sums it up. I know there is a million more authors and fics I missed, but these have been in the forefront of my mind for a long while. I hope you have all had the best holidays, and here is to another great year of escaping reality with y'all in 2025!! MWAH!