#guys this was actually super long but i had to cut so much because im a chronic over-sharer T________T

[boytoyhalo]

actually i have thoughts about qfit coming out and the fucking courage that had to have taken him as someone who spent the past 10 years of his life on 2b2t

Idk how much people who have never played on 2b2t actually know about the culture and environment there but because it has no rules, theres a shit ton of casual (and not so casual) bigotry of all sorts. Im 100% sure fit has to cut a TON of shit out of his videos, because the first and only time I ever logged onto it it was less than 10 seconds before i saw a wall of bedrock swastikas and slurs being thrown around in the chat. and anti-gay slurs in particular are a big part of the common terminology there, at least according to the wiki and a few of my friends who used to frequent it. Actually, the reason I never watched fit before the QSMP despite being aware of and interested in his content is because I made a point to stay away from anything 2b2t related for my own mental health - the hate speech there is so notorious that I had been warned to do so, and that was reaffirmed the one time I tried to play on it

Basically, that server is a fucking nightmare to be gay on just in terms of the real life community - in-universe, i imagine that would be reflected tenfold. So for Fit to have spent so long surrounded by that kind of attitude towards gay people, presumably closeted and possibly not even aware of his own queerness... it makes sense that he's been as hesitant as he has been to verbalize his feelings for pac. He can do it just fine when it's played as a joke with Phil or Forever or whoever else, but to find yourself entering into a real queer relationship after spending so long surrounded by violent (and most likely deadly) anti-queerness is fucking SCARY. Even without factoring in the general trust issues that spending that long on an anarchy server gave him, there's no way he didn't internalize at least some of that attitude.

So the fact that after these 7 (8??? is it 8 now i cant be bothered to count) months on Quesadilla island, surrounded by queer people in queer relationships being treated completely normally and supported he feels safe enough to (kind of) come out as gay to his son.... idk I'm just feeling super soft over it rn. Obviously it's Ramon, it's his son, who's been talking about getting him a new husband, so he knows he's safe. But knowing that logically and FEELING that are two different things and it's huge for a man who's spent a third of his life on arguably the least queer friendly space in the entire minecraft community to be able to speak it out loud like that..... im so proud of my bald gay cubito guys

[mushyposts]

WOAH! THE CREW???? THE CREW FROM HIT FANFICTION NO THING DEFINES A MAN LIKE LOVE??? WOAH WOAH WOAH??? Anyway yes omg its them!!! This took me so long and im so tired but look at my ANGELS!

UM! Friendly reminder that I myself am not Inuit/Indigenous! I did research + had an Indigenous person helping me w the tattoos, but if theres anything wrong/disrespectful pls do let me know and I will fix it. All the tattoos r on a seperate layer so it'll be an easy fix and one i am more then happy to do. A few of the designs changed between this and my written description, so... Oops?? Especially Morqa. I got carried away ok.... ANYWAY I have some little notes abt their designs here and there so! Kaiqa: He used to have shorter bangs around his face but they annoyed him so he tried to let them grow out but that annoyed him so he would cut them again and then try to let them grow out and now he just has perpetual baby hairs that wont get any longer. Mikla: UM. Not much to say here. Isnt he pretty tho?? Buteq: SOMEHOW ENDED UP THE MOST MAJESTIC MAN EVER. HELLO?? The two beads on the right are for his nieces and the one on the left is for his sister! Neter: One time he got super cocky abt being 7 years older then Nitya which meant he was a better fighter and so Nitya was like "yeah?? ok bet." and then punched him and broke his nose and was like "hm where are those warrior reflexes?" so now Neter has a permanently bent nose. Sorqai: He got the scar thats through his beard in the same raid that cause Nitya and Konait (Kaiqas older brother) to die. Nitya died trying to get Konait and some other kids out of the mess, and Sorqai got injured trying to get to them to help. He's mostly numb on that side of his face due to nerve damage ! Causes him to lisp a bit, especially w the chipped tooth (which he got from tripping) Natai: He wears both his own and Nitya's necklaces their parents made them, and intends to only take of Nitya's and let it go into the ocean where he was buried when the war is over. His own way of keeping Nitya involved in the war effort, something that was really important to him. Kutai: Again, no real notes here but isnt he pretttyyy..... Kovak: Honestly, very likely one of my favourite character designs I've ever made. Im kind of obsessed with him. He doesnt wear his necklace from his parents because he wasnt on good terms with them at all while they were alive. He took it off before they died, and hasnt been able to bring himself to put it back on. he intends to give it to his kid when he gets back. Mori: UM! I dont have a lot of notes here. Mori has two kids ! Hence the three tattoos under their chin, I saw an inuit creator/source say that sometimes people will add lines as they have kids and I thought that was really lovely so yes!! Again im just. I think hes so pretty. Luqait: Im so sorry king I did u dirty posting this after that one chapter. Each one of the beads he wears is dedicated to someone he knew in the tribe who died, theres more not visible on the other side of the braids. I can say for 100% certainty theres one for Kya and Nitya. Saila: Saila was actually a design i struggled a lot with, but I think I got them to a point im happy with!!! They're a good amount intense, androgynous and also have that amber flash in their eyes. The amber comes from having Fire Nation somewhere in their ancestry, something I dont think will really come up in the fic, but a detail I think is good to know! Morqa: I changed Morqa's design the most, especially his hair! But I think he's ended up being a design I am most proud of. The piercings especially!! Eventually u will run out of space (that we can see ig??) king but today is not that day godbless.

OKAY! THERE WE GO... I HOPE EVERYONE LIKES THEM UM PLS BE NICE AND DONT REPOST AND IDK JUST.... I HOPE U LIKE THEM AS MUCH AS I DO i know oc's in fics arent always peoples favourites but the reception of these guys has been like. Beyond mindblowing. Im so fucking excvited and happy everytime people in my comments talk about how much they love the characters i've created. Like.... The fact that people enjoy the OC's and not just for what the give to Zuko, but for what they give to each other and their own individual stories is so incredible to me. I hope u guys like this and I hope it helps u visualise them better!! : D

[rantaroamamifuturegf]

Hello, wonderful person on the internet!

Can I ask for a fic with Fem! Reader who is unusually tall and kabedons Fuyuhiko while being super smug about it?

(If you don't know what kabedon is, below is an example)

Thank you for your time

Loving on you

A/N: This is my first time writing a one-shot!!Well a short one-shot but I'll still writing one, so I hope you enjoy!! Sorry it too so long to get out, I've gotten back into classes and got somewhat busy but I'm still making time to write. Anyways I do hope you enjoy sorry it does suck I tried my best! Reader is a bit feisty and sassy bc I don't like Y/Ns who don't have no back bone and as usual spelling errors. Reader is the same height as Akane, 5'7.

Plot: Hanging out with your short boyfriend during a free period and you both got into a small disagreement and he decides to lighten up the mood a bit.

!!Female Reader!!

Character(s) being used: Fuyuhiko

You and Fuyuhiko have been dating for a while now and you both attend Hopes peak together. But due to your height some people find it funny how Fuyuhiko looks more shorter than he usual does when he stand next to you but he always shuts up the person before they can even finish their sentence about the height difference between the both of you.

Personally Fuyuhiko doesn't really mind the height difference but it is a bit embarrassing whenever your both kissing and he's the one having to look up as you while you look down at him, but of course he has his moments where you're the one flustered instead of him. He gets flustered at times as well but always tries to avoiding bring up those moments

Anyways everyone was pretty aware of both of you guys relationship and Peko swore to protect you as much as she protects Fuyuhiko, but he sometimes buts in and says that she doesn't to protect you when he's going to be the one doing it.

there were a couple of times when you shut him down and told him you can protect yourself but he reminds you that he's a yakuza so dating him can be slightly dangerous for you but you stood ground and brushed off his words. Regardless both you and Fuyuhiko were a good couple lol

But as for right now, it was a free period and the both of you were in an empty classroom talking. Unfornately you both were in a small argument about how Fuyuhiko almost got both him and Peko in danger when he was trying to get rid of one of his family's gang rivals the other night.

"(Name) I'm telling you it's no big deal alright? Both me and Peko are okay and my dad said he will dea-" Before he can finish his sentence you cut him off "It's not about who will deal with the situation or not, it's about how reckless you were being! Like did you ever stop and think 'Hey maybe I should just let my old man deal with this because IM JUST A HIGH SCHOOLER' that is exactly what you should have thought before acting!" You said frowning slightly as your boyfriend took a seat on one of the empty desk in the classroom.

"Listen I get what you're saying but they were on my back alright? I care for both me and Peko's life but they were getting to annoying and they had it coming.." He sighed and looked to the ground and crossed his arms, he did feel slightly guilty for almost putting himself and Peko into danger and making you worry wasn't making feel any less guilty but he would be lying if you lecturing him like a child didn't annoy him, but to avoiding getting the argument even worse he kept his mouth shut.

"Well next time can you try to hold back and think before you act? Jeezs I almost feel bad for Peko for having to deal with you at times." You wanted to face palm at his actions but seeing how he actually did feel guilty over his action, you decided to let him off the hook "But I guess for this time, I'll look past it but don't do it again alright?" You crossed your arms and lean against the wall behind you.

He looked up at you then smiled "Yeah yeah I get your words, just stop lecturing me as if I'm your damn kid" He stood up and walked over to you chuckling lightly "Then stop acting like one-" Before you can even finish your sentence, Fuyuhiko then slammed his hand on the wall behind you and grinned "I said stop trying like one alright? I'm your boyfriend (Name), not a kid".

You didn't know how to respond back as you were caught off guard and flustered by his actions as Fuyuhiko stood his ground, despite the obvious height difference knowing that he was able to still make you flustered and embarrassed did make him feel smug.

"Fuyuhiko.." You paused and looked as your smug looking boyfriend as he grin grew slightly as he waited for you to continue "You're just so cute at times" You smiled and hugged him as it was now his turn to be flustered as he blushed slightly then hugged you back "Seriously, You can't just say shit like that out of nowhere...it's ridiculous" "Then don't act all big like that out of nowhere" You giggled as he just scoffed at your words and enjoyed this small moment between the both of you.

The bell did ring signaling that the free period was over, you better not go trying anyone about the cute moment you just spent with your boyfriend or else he'll seriously be even more embarrassed and slightly annoyed.

Hope you enjoy - Manji

[m0e-ru]

p4 pokemon au where all problems are because of some stupid zoroark cracked with action replay

maul me over as much as you want over poke partner choices because idgaf im going to start yapping under the cut (2.5k words are yuo joking ?)

um where can i start

i wanna make it clear im sure these characters would all have different pokemon teams if they were playing pokemon on the nintendo ds, like, souji could be a rest staller if he wanted to. but anyway, heres my idea of who these guys would partner up with because i think it’s fun. and none of this is final i could give namatame a goomy too AHAHA

oh another disclaimer while i proclaim ive played all the mainline games, is i havent actually played a pokemon game past XY also im a unova babygirl est 2014 . yippie

Souji feels like such a normal-type guy to me. Cheren black and white. Well, the gray did influence it, but also he’s a very flexible guy.

He caught a Lillipup as a kid, and it’s been with him through multiple moves. His parents didn’t care about a pokemon in the house as long as it didn’t make a fuss, and was kind of Souji’s only friend at the time. It evolved into a Herdier at some point before he gets to Inaba, and probably gets to be a Stoutland for the whole Izanagi-no-Okami equivalent.

Not that I think he’d cheese his way through battles with Work Up -> Return shtick, but I think it’s a funny thought lol

Yusuke got a Tadbulb following him around, which he found in the moving van when his family was unpacking. And the next few weeks, he almost ran over a Froakie going 60kph on his bike. Yosuke appreciates having the Tadbulb around when working around Junes, and the Froakie guides him through Inaba as a local I guess lol. It evolves into the Frogadier when they go investigate the serial murders with Souji. It probably knows Aerial Ace for all I know LMAO

Chie’s Glaceon’s actually Muku, the Eevee Yukiko tried to take care of, until it was put in Chie’s care when she wasn’t allowed to keep it. When they were middle school, after one vacation at Mt. Yasogami, the Eevee ended up evolving next to an Ice Rock of all things. The two wondered why it didn’t evolve from friendship, like an Espeon or an Umbreon, and they joke around that the Eevee loved neither of them and bonded with a chunk of ice instead. Chie makes it wear a muffler because she misses Eevee's fluffy coat, in a way.

Around the same time, Chie found a Mienshao training with her at the flood plains, and it decided to stay with her. Sometimes, she’d offer Yukiko to have it help out at the inn.

Kanji’s mom actually kept a Cottonee around to gather the stray cotton it leaves around to spin into thread sometimes. She wondered where it went, until Kanji admitted it evolved into a Whimsicott after it touched a rock he found lying around on the way home, which was a Sun Stone. It still stays around to help, and even floats all the way to Yasogami just to deliver Kanji’s lunch he forgot at home.

Kanji caught a Blitzle himself, and it was also there when he was beating up all the bikers making a ruckus by the highway, which made him easy to profile during that one TV segment about him. It goes with Kanji while he’s biking, and he’d refuse its help even when he gets tired.

Nobody really knows how Teddie became a boy, nor where he got his Cubchoo. All he’s mentioned is that they “saw one another in each other’s eyes” and it starts sneezing into Yosuke’s face. Well, it’s not too bad because they’re both Junes’ new mascots, in a way. Maybe he IS the Cubchoo 🤔🤔🤔

Rise had the Ralts since middle school. Having it perform with her during her audition to be an idol almost basically made her in the cut. It evolved into a Kirlia which made her more popular as Risette. Although, fans and haters started throwing Dawn Stones at it after a statement where Rise didn’t want to reveal its gender even with so many people asking. Most of them were fake, just to give Rise a scare, and it was only super fans or super haters that would throw in the real deal at shows or even just handshake sessions.

Naoto’s grandfather helped him catch a Surskit before he left the estate and became the Detective Prince. He once accused a Sneasel to be a culprit of one case, but it ended up proving itself innocent, nagging Naoto to certain evidence when he just thought it was annoying him. Impressed by each other’s wit, they’ve become partners in solving crime. Naoto would pacify it with his Surskit’s sweet syrup. And when the Surskit evolved into a Masquerain, Naoto would have two partners by his side. Although, this lead to trusting his own instincts and pokemon more than other people.

Chisato owned a Rockruff, which even adored Dojima before they were even married. It evolved into a midday Lycanroc, which started to help Dojima with his own investigations. When Chisato passed, it was less bitter than Dojima, and would be sent home to stay with Nanako if he ever had to work overnight. When Nanako was comfortable enough with Souji and his Herdier, the Lycanroc would stay with Dojima, and Adachi would help prop him on its back when he gets himself drunk.

A bit after Chisato’s funeral in the middle of the mourning period, her mother came to her granddaughter, Nanako, and gave her a Cleffa, in which they would both learn to take care of each other. It would have fun being tossed around in the air by the Lycanroc and Herdier at home, while Souji would tell Nanako to make a wish on the star everytime it was in the air. Because it’s the Star Shape pokemon lol i think it’s cute

While Adachi was still in the big city, he’d see the skinniest Purrloin in an alley on the way home. He fed it once, and it wouldn’t stop pestering him since. He thought it was over when his apartment complex neighbors started feeding it, but it found delight in annoying Adachi specifically, taking his keys from his pockets, or nabbing a bit of his takeout when he was distracted.

It jumped into the boot of his car, genuinely curious of what was going on, until it found itself in an hours long trip which ended with it in Inaba. Dojima mentioned his Lycanroc smelled a feline scent on him, while Adachi just denies he owns a pokemon, much less that Purrloin that isn’t even native to the area. It’s caught the attention of the locals for a while, and it took it to its advantage to get more people to feed it, but still hangs around Adachi to go nick his new, rusty apartment keys.

There’s also like, this Shuppet that shows up at some point, and his landlady and neighbors keep telling him about it and giving him weird looks. But he doesnt believe in superstitions and doesnt have a pokedex to look at so who cares

Namatame's family has a Bunnelby helping around the business with little chores and such. His parents send it off to Namatame to work with him and keep him company while he tries to recover. Somewhere along the way, he finds an Absol following him on a rainy day, which he takes care of alongside the Bunnelby entrusted to him, or maybe it’s taking care of him? While Namatame becomes more manic each passing day as his messiah complex gets to him, he starts distancing himself from Bunnelby and spends more time with Absol. 

The MOEL gas station has a shiny Heliolisk, but a lot of people don't really know the concept of shiny pokemon, and they haven't seen Heliolisks or Helioptiles in the urban area, so they don't really think it's so special besides it being a different color. It's nothing more than a mascot of sorts, and does silly things with the attendant; like startling Adachi and that Purrloin that follows him around. It can sense when it's going to rain by feeling the static electricity around it. And what's rather peculiar is that it doesn't seem too averse to rain or cloudy skies. It does enjoy basking in the sun, and people would look up to see it hanging around on the station canopy with a spread out frill those days.

okay, so this is the part where I'm supposed to talk about plot. um. anyway

Way back when, there was a Zoroark that would walk among people, disguised as a human. People started rumors and suspected this woman really is a pokemon, but nobody seemed to shun her or really care, she was just a nice lady and took care of the people around her. People would say she came to them from a greater power to be a guardian to the land, similar to the legends in different regions, like Sinnoh and their Arceus.

However, the way she protects her people would be through illusions. She would keep external and malicious forces at bay by severely frightening them at the mountaintops, or the forests, if they ever got through, be it human or pokemon. If anyone were hurt or were about to die, unable to be treated to health, she would comfort them in a grand dream as they would fall asleep for the very last time. 

As time went on and technology developed, people were so entranced with the television broadcasts, wanting to know who was behind the screen, even if they were covered up in makeup and filters. 

The greater power sought to sate the people's desires, and saw the Zoroark it left in their care wasn't enough. So it split the pokemon into two, with one half so weak it was just a Zorua. The newly born Zoroark went off to accomplish its appointed duty, no matter the means. To better determine what the people wanted, however, it created a scheme which would involve stimulating the masses to come to an answer.

The Zoroark played a simple gas station attendant, which would stay close and observe the people. It would choose three pawns to watch over, manipulating the situation in tandem to their reactions. 

well so um basically there's still an isekai with TV portals. the iznmi Zoroark has enough power this time to create pocket dimensions straight from its illusion power. Every victim that ends up inside still gets haunted by their “truth” iznmi determines after scrutinizing them. The Midnight Channel broadcasts are also their illustrations. so basically, instead of things going on by itself from the collective unconscious reacting, it's a Zoroark piecing things together. it's kinda like pokepark 2. HAHAHA

Namatame's still kidnapping people he sees on the Midnight Channel. And when he gets Nanako, the Bunnelby stays behind and begs the IT to help. It helps them find Namatame, where they confront him and his Absol. Through illusions and legitimate power channeling, the Absol mega evolves. The IT defeat it and it returns to a normal Absol. They take both Nanako and Namatame to the hospital, the Bunnelby by Namatame's side the whole time.

When Adachi's suspected to be the killer, he escapes into the world inside the TV and makes a deal with the Zoroark. The Purrloin follows Adachi's scent and ends up in the TV, terrified of its unknown surroundings and hiding from the rest of the monstrous illusions that popped up. It got used to the world, however, and when the IT arrived, it helped them with Adachi's silly puzzles, to which he groans through a PA about how that pokemon’s still annoying him in another world. 

The IT confront Adachi, until a Mismagius appears to stop them. It sings Perish Song (because Magatsu-Izanagi is a Ghastly Wail kind of thing lmfao) but everyone stood their ground, blocking the song from their ears. Even under Adachi's (albeit in pain) command, the Mismagius falters, and the Zoroark takes things into its own hands, creating a bigger illusion to finally deal with these meddling kids for itself. 

But they defeat Ame-no-Sagiri, and its grand voice agrees to stop the grand illusions plaguing Inaba. The IT still have no idea who this conductor of schemes is, and Adachi can't give a clear answer either��

Marie's a Zorua with amnesia so bad she forgot she's a Zorua at all. She started her illusion as a human girl just to aimlessly wander around Inaba more easily and has been stuck in that form since. She was taken into the Velvet Room where they can clearly see that she isn't a human, but a pokemon. What's impressive is that she doesn't have a tail sticking out, which would mean her powers of illusion are rather potent. 

Souji’s made to chaperone her around Inaba to get her memories back, the whole shtick. While everyone stops prying into her nonexistent life, they're impressed with her ability to understand pokemon, as if she can actually understand them. Marie comes to the conclusion that she must have grown up around pokemon to be able to understand them that well. 

In the end, she finds out she is a pokemon, and iznmi Zoroark sends her to a grave that is physically in Inaba, instead of a pocket dimension. 

Margaret creates a conduit from that shed TV to that tomb somewhere in Inaba. Marie runs around as a Zorua and makes illusions to stop the IT from getting to her. But they manage to get to the heart of the tomb and get Zorua Marie from burying herself. 

They defeat another one of iznmi Zoroark’s avatars dwelling in Marie which was controlling her, then Marie comes back to the IT, accepting her identities as a pokemon and a human girl.

The IT thought that the illusions have stopped, and people are free to see what's really in front of their eyes. But Souji confronts the gas station at MOEL, where he reveals he's really a Zoroark with a duty, even startling the Heliolisk by its side. 

The IT enter the final world of illusions and desperately try to find the Zoroark to convince it to stop and let people truly live, that no one should hold their hands all the time, and quit living in a painless and meaningless utopia.

With everyone and their pokemon exhausted, Marie finds the strength to convince her other self. To let it see that she is living proof how people can live a life with the truth, and how they can stand on their own feet. 

After some time, the Zoroark agrees to dispel the illusions it has made, and appoint the rest of its power to Marie for her to be the guardian pokemon of the people of Inaba.

[bcolfanfic]

need more about the bucks' baby micah, headcanons or blurb i want more!!! (please, and when you have time ofc)

for ref

doing this in headcan0ns list form bc im tired from the time zone switch back to the states

the bucks do, as reffed in that blurb, turn the car around from going to wisconisn to go back to wyoming. end up having to get a hotel somewhere for the night so they don't drive more or less 20 hours roundtrip themselves into an early grave. but yeah.

swing josie by gale's sister’s house on the way back to sheridan. don't explain all the details but have to give her *some* explanation when they go from headed them to wisconsin to now suddenly back in wyoming.

maybe don't explain that this baby is her biological sibling right away but just. say that someone they know needs help with their baby, and that they gotta go back because they don't want him to be in the hospital by himself. pretty word salady but they're exhausted and she's five so. it is what is for the time being.

get to the hospital and get scrubbed in to down to the nicu with natalie to go see him. john's head still feels like his head is still in in spin-mode to the extent that he's not really processing everything fully.

but gale sees that itty bitty baby in his little nicu incubator with a little tube in his nose and is just. distraught.

has to sit down after a minute because its making his chest hurt. he just can't fathom how little he is and how he's in *danger* and how connected he already feels to him.

he gets reallll "woowoo" about the fact that he finally brought up wanting another kid to john all of 20 minutes before they got the call about him. feels like he somehow already intrinsically knew about him before he actually knew.

so kinda the reverse of how it was with josie- gale instantly feels bonded to him and john has a little bit of a harder time.

loves him so much already, is worried sick with all the preemie health stuff he's got going on. its just hard to process how fast everything is happening. if him and gale had sat down and decided to go the infant adoption route that'd be one thing.

in that case he'd have a lot more time to work through his hurdles re: being scared of having a baby, of being responsible for someone's life from scratch etc etc. but here he only had the drive back from wisconsin.

calls his mom a lot. calls curt a lot. that helps.

lil guy doesn't have a name for the first week of his life lmao. they just call him buddy and baby boy and then john is sitting up w/ gale one night and asks if he's given any thought to his name.

they land on micah curtis. micah as a riff off of michael the archangel, and curtis after their best friend (:

curt cries when he finds out. sweet man.

john's mom comes out from wisconsin and when she's there at the hospital that's when both the bucks go to gale's sister's house and have to explain to josie- the best they can- the full details.

poor peanut is so conflicted about Everything. has been confused about not seeing either of her dads in the same room for almost two weeks. is excited about having a baby sibling- but confused about why if he's /her/ sibling from her mom why she can't see her mom.

just a lot of Big Feelings, which gale and john handle the best that they can. good dads <3

i think it finally really Clicks for john when micah is doing okay enough that theyre allowed to hold him. looks at that lil guy in his lil nicu baby beanie sleeping on his chest and just. yeah. big thats my son, i would do anything for you feelings.

john gets really into sitting by his lil incubator and reading to him. nice way to bond that isn't super overwhelming. makes gale heart happy to watch. his boyssss.

this is getting super long lmao so ill cut if off here. but i wove micah- and rachel and i have developed a looottt of lore about him as a teenager/young adult (specifically re: him and wyatt- helen's baby with nash/ev's step son). so feel free to come prompt me to yap more!

[nereidprinc3ss]

i know we’re all excited for part 4 coming and ofc I don’t want you to get overwhelmed but i was wondering if we could have Spencer’s POV?

in one of the scenarios, he stated that he was in falling in love for reader and it has been noticeable that he has gotten laid with more/other women in the past.

i would like to know more about how was spencer as a lover back in that time like how he felt after s*x and stuff, like a flashback or something and how his relationship with reader has changed him, his own perspective. BUT ofc, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. it’s all good if you choose to ignore this; ily. thanks for always feeding us. we love being your children💗��

hi love i actually do have headcanons for dybmn!spence’s romantic/sexual history and idk if they’re ever going to fit into that series but i’d be happy to share them here!!

18+ under the cut/season 8 spoilers barely

so basically in my head he loses his virginity to elle greenaway (DUH) and they actually have a little bit of a relationship but the dynamic isn’t quite right because she’s going through all her own shit and at that time of spencer’s life it’s more simple for him. like she’s his first everything and he’s super in love with her but she is older and more experienced and really cares for him but knows for a lot of reasons that this wide eyed rose tinted view he has of her and their idealized relationship is never going to work out. #ILOVEELLEGREENAWAY but anyway they are never exclusive and in the dybmn universe i think he doesn’t necessarily SLEEP w lilah archer but they hook up in that pool beyond just making out mwaha but he’s just a little guy like he’s not CHEATING on elle because they’re not exclusive but she realizes she’s way too into him and that actually ends up figuring into why she leaves the BAU like yes it’s everything with her trauma too but that’s part of it because she knows she can’t sustain that relationship and being much older than him she’s the responsible party so yeah. i also think that time he visits her hotel room was maybe the last time they hooked up

after that i think he kind of develops a pattern of sleeping with women who are older/more experienced than him because he’s just used to being around older people anyway and he feels he can relate to them better and im imagining this is like seasons 2-4 spencer so it’s him and a bunch of hot 30-40 year old women (and probably men) and he’s just like a slut honestly like he’s really easy because he desperately craves affection and validation and i’d say he continues slutting himself out in that way for many seasons, but slowly with people who are more his age, probably until like around season 8 when he meets maeve and then all that shit happens and he kinda is just not into sex or romance for a long while. and i think after that he occasionally will hook up w someone but his main slut era was like seasons 2-6. (it slowed down when his migraines started but did not stop because he’s unstoppable) (he also may have had an actual relationship during this season 7 period in my mind. idk why i just sense there was someone before maeve. no i will not be providing reasoning season 7 spencer just looks like he has a girlfriend)

anyway. the number of bodies that man has is unknown. it may be a number so high we can’t conceive of it. he’s a capital doubleyew Whore unfortunately. but he’s rlly reigned it in by the time he meets reader which can be whenever you want but i picture it as being anywhere from season 9-14. and i think by the time he meets her he really is like basically celibate. like he hasn’t been with anyone by choice for a long while by the time he meets her. he is a retired slut if you will.

saliently i don’t think he ever does anything with jj. that is a purely imaginative thing for him and he lowkey has a madonna whore complex about her. i don’t think he was ever really in love with her he just loved the idea of the pretty blonde girl loving him back. but that is a whole other thing. and he’s way over it when he meets reader.

n e way those r just my silly thoughts. like i said i don’t think i’m ever gonna fit this into the actual narrative but yeah that’s what ive been imagining!!

[moonlit-escape]

★彡 ˙🌱. ¡! Vylad Mystreet headcanons !!

the second character i fell in love with. how cruel it is that he has fuck all going for him. I'll fix that.

korean and white

pansexual (actually this one is just canon) (cole petty ily)

doesn't have like a set label for his gender, and is cool with anything people wanna see him as

will try anything once

will put anything in his mouth

can sleep literally anywhere

i think this man might be the most laid-back, flexible person on the planet.

except towards geese because fuck those things

any time he has slept in a park he has made sure there were no geese around because those fuckers have stolen his stuff before and made him watch as they drowned it

listens to the most underground shit you've never heard and it all slaps (i didnt add this kind of stuff to his playlist though bc i wanted it to. make sense.)

also just listens to underrated music in general (includes just underrated songs from super popular bands)

currently holds an award for being the "funniest man on mystreet" and he didn't even have residency there

kind of has random visions about his friends in his sleep, but he just thinks they're normal dreams and that he misses his friends a lot (oh little does he know.)

used to say the most cryptic shit as a kid and freak his brothers out

being friends with vylad as a kid mustve been the weirdest experience. the kid eats glue, dirt, and moss, befriends frogs, crows, and moths, tells you you've suffered immense turmoil in a past life completely sincerely, and then infodumps about the entire history and process of typewriters for some fuckin reason

im 100% sure all three of the boys have autism and they got it from zianna

while he doesn't really want to connect himself to the ro'meave name (mainly bc of garte), he does love his family to death and sends his mom and brothers post cards every once in a while (when he remembers, mostly)

doesn't really reach out to his family any other way and neither do they. which he understands; communication is a two-way street

tries to stay positive and practice a healthy mindset and self-image, even and especially when he feels his insecurities and sense of self-worth creeping in

knows how to fish with nothing but a shoestring and a good fuckin stick

Loves pickin up good fuckin sticks

also cool rocks

he collects cool rocks from all the places he visits and keeps them in an old jewelry box. he keeps special ones he plans on giving to his friends in the top part of it

always making friends with stray dogs, cats, rats, raccoons, and opossums. someone stop him

has a johnny stein hotel transylvania relationship with his backpack (it literally has everything he owns in it)

knows how to fix and alter clothes

he knows how to do a lotta shit, alright. i don't think you'll find a craftier little guy than vylad ro'meave

except when it comes to fixing a water heater or anything to do with pipes or electrical tbh he hasn't lived in a house in a While

i'm obsessed w the idea that zane had spent so much time and effort trying to get gene to notice him meanwhile vylad enters gene's peripherals for 2.5 seconds and gene's like I Want Him.

poor vylad can't get on zane's better side for shit

owns a few skirts and dresses and high-heeled boots because he can wear whatever he wants

goes to ren faires whenever he can honestly. sometimes as a job!

when his hair gets too long he ties it back into a low ponytail or pigtails until he can get it cut again (doesnt really like having long hair)

wears weird and funky socks

he absolutely has a roblox account

likes to pronounce words wrong on purpose sometimes. mostly by putting emphasis on the wrong syllables

ABSOLUTELY adds extra e's to his words when texting bc thatse good showbiz babey!!

i'm coming to terms with the fact that he is most definitely a furry (not the type to dress up for it though. he just does artwork)

[xdeewolfx]

About rambling on about your day at trww screening, I would love to hear about it!

anon i love u ..... i'll put it under a cut cuz this might get long winded i love talking thank u

SO i went to the uh, august 12th ? the real will wood screening in new jersey last year. i think it was the last of 3 or so shows that day so it was taking place later in the evening. i got there uh Way Stupid Early because i wanted NOTHING to go wrong (i have chronic bad luck). the nice people at the movie theater were very kind, they let me sit inside and wait cuz it was hot out, they chatted with me a bit, and were just generally really cool people. i sat in the theater lobby for a bit, saw there was a merch table cleared and waiting to be set up. i didnt approach cuz im not That Kinda Person but i was like omg, thats gotta be for trww screening right. some people would come and go out of the direction of trww theater, mostly helpers. but THEN, im sitting there and i see tall guy in hat walk behind the table, rummage around in a bag, and start eating a lil snacky snack. the lobby was kinda dark and im blind as a bat anyway so it didnt click for me in the moment. i tried not to stare, only glanced up a few times. but eventually he looked up too and i was like wait that is THE real will wood. i stayed calm and casual, he waved at me, and i waved back with a sorta exasperated "oh my god, are you will wood?" and he just laughed and nodded. i told him i was there for the 7pm showing, and he (SO very shocked) was like "oh- oh my god? i thought you were here for the matinee!"

so that alone was super fucking cool. i didnt try to keep him or nerd out too much cuz at the end of the day he is just like, A Guy. yeah i really like his music but i didnt wanna be a freak or anything. he walked off and im like keysmashing in the discord group chat to my friends. chris appeared a few times too, walked outside for a smoke or to take a call or whatever. i smiled at him a few times but didnt have any one-on-ones and again didnt wanna be weird and pull him away from what he was doing or whatever.

after a bit, will walks out of the theater and approaches me. he leaned in and whispered "you can just... sneak in, if you want" with like the sneakiest smirk and im like UH ! UH ! UHHH!!!! because holy fucking shit no way will wood himself just offered to sneak me into the showing before the one i paid for? i just thanked him and he walked off, i didn't end up sneaking in cuz i had VIP for my actual showing and didnt wanna risk being kicked out of the theater. i mean, im sure will would have had my back but i just did NOT wanna risk it yfeel.

those were kinda the last interactions i had before one of the theater guys told me i probably wanna go stand outside to line up because people were starting to show up for the show i paid for. super cool of him. he walked me outside and i stood at the front, met some very awesome people, chatted for uh idk how long. time was moving so weird i was so excited.

before the line got too long, i noticed will and chris were sitting on a bench a ways down and i was like shit. h. okay. want to interact, i want to get them each to draw a little doodle in this sketchbook i brought. told myself i'd get will to draw a little black cat (had a black cat named jynx that i love and adore and miss so dearly) and chris to draw a little black dog (had a black lab named Q who i also love and adore and miss so dearly) and i knew this was my chance. sure i could do it at the meet-and-greet part of the vip experience i paid for but like. i knew there'd be a line of people and they'd want to expedite the process so i just went for it. i waited for a good window where nobody else was around so they wouldnt be overwhelmed. i, probably in the most sopping wet of a man way, shyly walked up and excused myself, asked if i could talk to them, to which they were both super cool and chill with it. i thanked them for their time, asked them if they could each draw what i was thinking of. will took the marker first while i explained why a black cat was so important and significant to me, and he listened with such genuineness.

i asked will if i could possibly get this tattoo'd one day, and he said “now i’m going to let you know. maybe some day i’ll strip down naked and run down the street saying slurs. so i might be CANCELLED some day. and if you have this on your body you will be called out on twitter. just so you know” which, funniest fucking response ever. what a fuckin king.

after that, i asked chris to draw a lil dawgie. he was much less enthused about having to draw but he DID it, he did like a step by step narration as he drew, ("how did I manage to make it look like a dick and a vagina at the same time") i told him he was doing great and got a very nervous "dont PATRONIZE me!" but it was all in fun and we all got a really good laugh out of that too i think. all in all both REALLY funny guys and good sports.

after that i thanked them both profusely and walked back to my spot in line. i met and chatted with even MORE people until the actual lineup for the show began. will opened the door and ushered us all in, this time in a different theater than the one he was in earlier in the day. this one was past the merch table, i kinda just walked straight past it to the theater because they werent even selling things yet, just getting things set up. everyone else behind me seemed to linger though, so i kinda just like. stood in the doorway of the theater nervously, not knowing what to do.

will walked up and asked me what was wrong, i told him i was nervous and didnt want to go in there by myself since nobody else was following. hes like, "awh, you're not alone! we'll go in there together" to which i knee-jerk replied with "omg we're besties." not the worst thing i could have said but i did feel quite silly, its alright tho he laughed so hopefully it wasnt like. too awkward LMAOOO.

chris was already in the theater waiting, will told me to sit anywhere so i just kinda sat directly at the front (later i'd learn that i picked the seats directly behind chris and will, pretty neat). some announcements were made as people started filing in, then the VIP part started. i once again was first in line, i didnt really have anything more to say or do besides take a picture with them and get them to sign the drawings they'd done earlier. when i popped open the book for chris to sign his dog, he just "jesus i hate looking at this thing". jokes on you chris i love looking at it. its hanging on my wall riiight now. probably wont get it tattoo'd (sorry) but its okay he begged me not to anyway.

i felt kinda silly and im kicking myself for it a bit, but after this photo chris was like "thanks for comin out and supporting us," and then sorta paused like he expected me to fill in the blank and say my name (in hindsight i realized i. NEVER told them my name.) but i was too jittery and overwhelmed by all the people behind us so i just smiled and walked off. i know they probably wouldnt have remembered my name anyway cuz they met so many people that day but, its like damn ! what if !

i went and got popcorn after that and just watched as people filed in and got pics with will n chris, told nice stories and gave gifts, then it was time for the screening itself. before they shut off the lights, will ran down the isle giving everyone high fives, starting with me since i was right at the front. SO fuckin cool.

the rest of the show was just, ykno, watching The Real Will Wood and sometimes getting gags or commentary from chris and will. at one point, when the song 2012 started playing, a guy next to me shouted the loudest "FUCK!" in time with the song. this got will to sit up and slowly turn around with a puzzled look, then he just "nice man" and gave the dude a high five. there was also a funny gag where someone pulled out a lighter and waved it all slow concert-style to Bones, so naturally everyone else pulled out their phone flashlights and it lit up the entire fuckin theatre. will and chris both turned around and just “jesus fucking christ” because it was SO GODDAMN BRIGHT. theres actually a pic of me doing the flashlight thing from will's instagram story LMAOO, i was honestly in a decent amount of his story shots (im the one in the orange shirt). pretty neato.

i didnt get any videos or pictures during the show itself because 1. its a movie. duh. but also cuz my phone was like, RAPIDLY losing battery and i could not risk it dying in case of an emergency. thats alright tho, im okay with the memories of that being in my brain :]

after the show, chris and will thanked everyone and we all sloooowly filed out to the merch table. since i was at the front of the theater, i was one of the last ones out, but thankfully i got the merch i wanted. bought a tshirt and a few albums. met a few people in line that i still talk to every now and then. at the very end, again since i was one of the last ones to the merch line, chris and will were just hanging out thanking people and saying goodnight. since the picture from in the theater kiiinda sucked lighting wise and was a little blurry, i asked if i could take a selfie with them. they were both really cool about it, i thanked them yet again, and then i was off. i sat in a corner charging my phone while i waited for an uber, and that was the day done :]

thank you for letting me ramble, anon, i love thinking about this day. i have chronic bad luck but everything was going right for once and im so thankful for it. i'd love to meet chris and will again some day, they are such genuine and nice people

[emerynn]

MAX 🥺🥺🥺

(double exposure spoilers under the cut)

I knew episode 5 was gonna be a nightmare sequence but i still ate that shit up what can i say it's fanservice and im the fan lol

genuinely did get a bit emotional at the end like okay im HAPPY FOR HER

post credits scene was wild?? Not sure how I feel about them just handing out super powers like halloween candy but...okay? and MAX CAULFIELD WILL RETURN HELLO ???? part of me is sceptical and part of me is like yay more max hehe (fanserive, fan, etc.) - either way, guess im gonna be insufferable for a while then whoops

'will you ever go back to arcadia bay' 'one day' 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺girl i'll cry

lowkey the journal entries were nerfed. i mean i dont really care but still.

amanda max flirting scenes gave me major flashbacks to my own lesbian situationship so 10/10 points for accuracy on that one

i really enjoyed all the characters ngl!! and safi was so good and so intriguing i love that they let her be morally dubious oooo

'our lady of the storm' iconic. shes my fucking GIRL.

okay but is safi creating the lis avengers. like what is her plan. im concerned

how many endings were there because i strongly suspect there might have just been one and if that's the case that's hilarious but also like, come on

they kinda baited me with the "two maxes" bit at that one point i was like YES time travel bullshittery and max being a bitch to her alternate self EXACTLY WHAT I ASKED FOR and then i figured out the twist like 10 seconds before it was revealed and i was like well thats cool but.....i just wanna see max bully herself is that too much to ask for.....

'text from: chloe' like okay my heart did skip a beat lbr

okay so did max actually kill safi or what because that was never clear. like i think the polaroids were from the original timeline and then max shoots safi in that timeline leading to timeline 2 which is OUR original timeline i.e. the dead timeline and then...the living one happens asw? or was it like a pre-emptive timeline split did max ever actually shoot safi? i mean someone had to right? maybe this will make sense in the morning. or on the wiki. who can say

knew there was gonna be darkroom shit in the nightmare sequence fuck yeah (lowkey wanted more but hey im just being greedy now)

another tiny criticism but the krampus party did not feel like a college party lol like the vortex club end of the world party felt intense it felt dramatic it had stakes - krampus i was like oh this is giving me dead freshers week vibes guys just animate in some more extras please i know you can do it

music was amazing ofc

man i had this whole theory going on where max died in the "living" timeline at the same point that safi died in the "dead" timeline and that was why there was no alternate version of herself and it was some safis trying to save max while max is trying to save safi thing - obviously very wrong but i still vibe with it

i just really like max okay <3

To form something of a coherent conclusion: Really solid game, with some great scenes (the end of chapter 2 and start of 3 were def the standouts to me) and (in my opinion at least) really really good development for max - she was so clearly the same max as the original game but also she's grown up and she's grown into herself and ahhh it made me so happy to see!

I found some of the twists more effective than others and I think there could have been more build up to the storm (like in the original lis you KNOW it's coming for so long and there's this feeling of dread throughout whereas it kind of felt like we rushed to get to it here), but overall i had a good time, i really enjoyed getting to know the characters, and most of all, i really enjoyed getting stupidly attached to Max Caulfield again <3

7/10 looking forward to going down the rabbit hole with this one and i guess we'll see where we go next...??

[struck-by-the-rain]

bored and on the train so have some miscellaneous karate joe headcanons, I've typed some of these out before but most r new! under the cut because it's long and idk if I wanna maintag this

the reading material is conflicted but in my head he's really good at karate! it does say somewhere that his style has a unique sense of rhythm and hes unsuccessful in competitions because his opponents can read his moves, but I think he gets past this by sticking to increasingly complex rhythms! he completes at the highest level that's there in the rh universe, like their equiv of the olympics or whatever. senior's standards for "mastering karate" are ill-defined and he probably keeps moving the goalposts (pun not intended) on joe

he's extremely overworked and over-stressed by his training, to the point where he has pretty bad chronic pain/repetitive strain injuries in his hands.

similarly im also considering hcing him being partially deaf in 1 ear from the first time his father introduced bombs into his training (& 1 exploded in his ear)

also he listens to music really loud on the reg and (like all my fav characters) hes autistic 2 me (so has audio processing issues to boot) so I think he needs 2 ask ppl to repeat themselves a lot

or he would, if he wasn't really shy and afraid of coming across as weak/useless/a disappointment! I've talked about that before but yeah. he masks it by trying to put on a tough guy persona & doesn't talk v much (he's a v expressive person as the games suggest but i think he actively tries to hide it most of the time)

he's a decent cook, having learned because seniors is so bad!! I need 2 give him a silly fav food other than pancakes (from honeybee remix...),,, my heart says he likes rly cosy things like soups and stews and everything

^ kinda fits vibes wise with how I like to draw him wearing comfy sweaters loads!! i think he's kinda winter-coded as a person but I'm not sure if it's actually his fav season or what!

in general he's not super fashion-y (makes it a challenge to draw him sometimes BC I love making characters dripped out),,, man lives in old band t-shirts and hoodies/sweaters and really knackered jeans

ohhh yeah this was a big 1 and I've said this before but he really likes the rockers (was a fan of jj's stuff pre-retirement and then when he comes back onto the scene w his student),,, I think he had a childhood crush on jj at one point

& I think he gets really into old games/consoles at some point, maybe because senior keeps them down in the basement in a box! he likes to take old consoles apart and figure out how they work

ummmmmm also he's like really scared of sucking at something (like a new hobby/sport or whatever)/disappointing others. idk I already said that

might think of more if so I'll just make an addition to this post

[elasticitymudflap]

If Betty returns in season two, what kind of plot lines and character arcs would you like to see for her? Which characters do you want to see her interact with?

oh man. okay buckle up because you are about to endure my full frontal autism.

first you're going to have to go into this post knowing that i am insane about betty grof. i am aware of this. but they also called me crazy back in 2012 when i said simon and betty probably loved each other very much despite the fact she disappeared, and that she was probably a huge chaotic badass, AND I WAS RIGHT so.

all of this aside, here are a couple things i think would be epic and sexy of them to address:

~betty's past~

GIRL WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.

no, seriously. i hate that the cut content from the storyboards revealed so much about her that didn't make the final 'jerry' cut. betty is passionate, intense, and liked simon's work because he was this weird little guy who proudly had all these "out there" theories. she even stated that "ancient magic" was once her major, so it's no fucking wonder she was so jazzed to find the one other guy who studied and believed in the strange things she did.

how did betty come to have these strange beliefs, and to the point of pursuing it in fucking grad school? was she just always like this? did her interests and beliefs put her at odds with others when she was growing up, little miss dig-her-way-down-to-the-devil, and that's part of the reason she wanted all the more to support simon?

reading that scene in temple of mars where magic betty laments "what remains" of her original self after spending so long dedicated to simon, even if you take into account the way MMS is warping her perspectives and cranking her obsessive tendencies to 11, i find it hard to believe betty didn't grow up with some kind of instability or trauma that made her more prone to throw herself completely at someone who showed her genuine love and kindness. this isn't necessarily a fault on simon's part, he probably didn't even clock it because he was so caught up with trying not to fuck things up with her (he's got his own issues). but it definitely seems like this is something deeply coded into her being, especially when you consider she was willing to leave everything she knew behind in an instant for him.

and i NEED to know more about the wacky shit she was up to in ooo, before and after becoming magic betty. did she ever go to wizard city? did other wizards even know about her? what does she think about her time as magic betty? moreover, how the hell did king man even get betty to agree to his weird idea of cognitive behavioural therapy?? how did she actually go from literally willing to kill herself via time travel to actually accepting that she needed help getting over simon?? did prismo and the cosmic owl get involved?? what is their connection to king man and mars anyway, i mean we know grob gob glob grod hung out with them?? do you think betty knew at any point about simon's head holding the fionna and cake universe?? SO MANY QUESTIONS RAAARRGHGHHGHH

also, not to get super sappy, but i want to see the enchiridion expedition from her perspective!! i want to see her progression from 'hell yeah im going on an adventure with that guy whose research i admire' to 'oh my god i love his stupid ass help????'.

~betty's guilt (feat. regrets)~

i don't care what the alternate bus stop scene said, you will never convince me betty grof has "no regrets". i think she has 'no regrets' in terms of loving simon, and she would never want him to think that she regrets their relationship because of what it "did" to her (turned her into a kaiju). i think this scene was betty trying to give simon a modicum of closure by reassuring him of that fact, and trying to help him reckon with the fact that there's no going back and changing how things ended up for the two of them; from here on out they can only move forward.

that being said, we know that betty will often push simon into doing things she thinks are best for him, whether he wants these things or not, such as not getting held up by snakes or not dying. she's a quick thinker and a risk taker who doesn't like looking at the 'big picture', and these are things she's probably very aware about herself.

i think, in the 12 years that they were apart, betty probably had a lot of time to reflect on her decisions after the crown came into their lives. how her hubris in trying to study magic ended up in her becoming "magic betty", how magic betty nearly ended/condoned the end of the world multiple times, how she ultimately did cure simon but almost killed him in the process. most of all, you cannot convince me betty wouldn't agonize over how her split-second decision to jump into the future affected simon. you really think betty fucking grof would've have been totally unaffected by the revelation that simon spent nearly ten human lifetimes agonizing over driving her away?

in her last interaction with him, magic betty's recklessness cured them... only to then be grotesquely crushed to death inside of golb. but he didn't get upset with her, he didn't panic, he didn't even fight it, he just... gave in. there's this air of acceptance to him, an acceptance that comes after prolonged and complicated grief, that i'd argue, wasn't the culmination of being cured, but the culmination of his long and painful battle over losing her; he was content to die as long as he was with her. that must have been... really something for her to mull over.

i could easily see her developing a bit of a complex over it. i think it would be fascinating to see a betty who now, after all the dust as settled, has looked at their history and concluded that she was the common denominator in all of this, that she is bad for simon, that in a way she is a "curse" to him. and that it would be the perfect justification for her staying away from him all these years, thinking without her influence he could finally move on from her and live the rest of his human life happily with his new magic future friends.

i don't think betty has necessarily "moved on" from simon, i think she still loves him dearly... but as i said, thoroughly convinced she'll only damage him further if she keeps trying to pursue him, and that simon's breakdown during season 1 was only more evidence to that fact.

i think she's trying to lead him to get over her 'for his own good', and that she's purposefully being vague and simplifying conclusions about their relationship so he doesn't try to fight her on it like he always does when she makes these huge decisions for them. she's not bringing any of the stuff she actually regrets up with him because only betty sees it as a problem. simon is so enamoured with her he probably wouldn't even entertain the possibility that she had negative effect on him, but he would believe the reverse in a heartbeat.

this isn't me saying they're ""toxic"" at all, i'm saying that these are two very damaged people who would benefit from multiple types of therapy. and that, as they are, they currently are more likely to keep going in loops with unhealthy behaviours and blaming themselves ad infinitum rather than try to reckon with how they can change, and how it is a problem that they'll always do it for the other, but never for themselves.

even if all of my above ramblings turn out to be bunk: betty grof needs some kind of therapy for her pre-existing self sacrificial tendencies and self worth issues, a space for her to process and work through all of the things that happened to her in ooo, couple's counselling, and the biggest blunt known to man.

you might be wondering "emery, why are you talking about her like she isn't beyond such things? she's golb now, the embodiment of chaos! her ""arc"" is over."

~golbetty conspiracy theory time~

i'm not entirely convinced betty is golbetty as we've come to understand her. i stand by this with my crumbs of a conspiracy theory in that when simon first did the ritual, it was ORIGINAL golb's face that flashed over the scene (not golbetty or even the statue's face), and how golbetty seemed to transform back into Golb Classic after she blew simon away into the void. there's also this weird thing where golbetty had these holes or rips on her leg when she rotated; i thought it was an animation error but then it was also in the storyboards so idk what to believe...

plus the boards ive seen seem to only refer to them as "GOLB", never 'GOLBetty', which i just find... interesting

and i keep thinking about simon info-dumping about golb to betty in the 'come along with me' flashback and the specific wording that was used: "imagine if we could somehow harness all that dank energy..." and then comparing it to the specific wording of betty's wish "... however it has to happen, I wish for the power to keep Simon safe"

there's a couple lines in 'you forgot your floaties' regarding betty's work before becoming magic betty that i feel often get overlooked, one being how tiny manticore describes the situation as "she thinks she can save her BF, Simon, by finding the source of magic," and in betty's own words: "studying [magic madness and sadness] could lead me to their underlying cause, and then I'll control the forces that hold sway over Simon"

i've always wondered if part of the reason betty's wishes to "banish golb from this world/for golb to disappear" didn't work was not just because they didn't tap into her heart's deepest wish (keeping simon safe), but because a wish like that would also require some kind of fundamental change to the laws of the universe first in order for it to work. magic betty even references golb as "the most powerful force in the universe," so how would the crown ever hope to compete with that? according the ancient candy elemental, wish magic has the potential to cause "irreversible damage to the very structure of existence". maybe the crown itself couldn't banish golb with a simple wish, but it could restructure the world to create someone who was powerful enough to control even golb, if only it were structured through the correct wishing language.

and it would make total sense for betty to become that person.

i've been thinking about the way the candy elemental tries to warn evergreen from using the crown: "this wish may see things in you you cannot see yourself, can you truly say you know your heart's truest desire?"

i wonder if there may have been two elements to betty's wish, and the part of it that betty "didn't see in herself" was her worded in the language of "power"; betty's desire to gain control over forces of the universe no human could ever hope to fight against, let alone win.

she spent her human life fascinated by ancient magic, fighting to get her's and simon's work recognized as valid and worthwhile. then, she's suddenly in the future, fighting to stop simon from dying, physically fighting at times, and fighting to find a way to gain control over these "forces" that held him prisoner. she essentially is fighting to become the conqueror of magic, madness, and sadness... and she fails, becomes a victim of it. and it all goes downhill from there, the loss of control over herself, over her mind, over her goals, yet the most 'betty' thing about her is that she's still fighting, albeit a bit crooked and to the detriment of all else. in the end, she's even fighting with herself, fighting to remember who she even is without the fight, not even sure if that person exists anymore.

and then she's freed, suddenly, from the confines of MMS to the literal confines of a quickly shrinking prison. when you watch the two of them in that scene, she isn't fighting to escape the same way finn is literally fighting the wall, but you can tell she's not giving up. part of her is still fighting to think of a way out, even when it feels like there's absolutely no hope left.

her desire "for the power" could mean, in a sense, to have the ability to be in control of all that she couldn't at one time or another: time, fate, magic, life, death, chaos... but this was articulated through her love for simon, because it's the only way she probably even recognizes it within herself.

this is why i don't entirely think betty and golb are fused, or that betty is solely "golbetty". i think being "fused" with no possibility of escape would be antithetical to the language and possible wider implications of her wish. this is why i think she's something above even golb, like a being with the ability to possess/harness the power of other deities. and i think she does this specifically in scenarios where simon is in immediate danger and she needs to control them or harness their power in order to protect him.

i'm ready to be proven wrong, and i probably will be. still, i rotate these thoughts in my head at a dangerous velocity, and none of you can stop me.

~ok i'm done ill stop being insane now (lying)~

so to... actually answer your question, i REALLY want betty to meet fionna and cake, because it sounds to me like they remind simon a lot of her. i would just love to see the absolute fucking tornado they'd be when put in a room together.

also, obviously first and foremost, I NEED BETTY TO TALK TO MARCELINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, as far as season 2 goes, something is definitely up with prismo. and since he's guardian/creator of multiverse entities, who the fuck knows what that means for the fabric of existence if he's glitching out.

all im saying is, i wouldn't be surprised if our main trio end up having to save the multiverse and have to do so with help from other... entities. bettities, even. (hehe. bettity)

[py6oto]

working ... please wait

AHA!! you thought it was over. you thought i had moved on. you thought you were safe. you were not. it's still here and it will be lurking in the shadows for as long as i exist

unpixelated ver + extras under cut

boo

ive actually had these sprites done for a good while now. i just kept forgetting to post them. sorry!

look at them!! they're totally friendly please stick your hands through the bars of the enclosure

the way theyd function here is similar to tommy, too. theyre both extremely important in hlvrai as a whole, so id like them both to have an effect. bubby definitely something related to fire. coomer probably the powerleg effect from my previous lore dump post.

id like to mention these NPCs aren't the only representation they get in dream world, of course !! they play a very big role in gordons life right before these dreams, i imagine there's multiple creatures and objects across the worlds that represent more minuscule, careful details about them.

as much as gordon can like or dislike it, a trace of them is everywhere, in every door. even benrey, who he'd admittedly rather forget, is only slightly more difficult to find than anything else. theyre too important to be repressed.

im not sure if darnold and forzen would get their own black and white self (as i like to call it, because .. what else do i call it) since they were .. definitely there, and i love them, but they were both significantly minor appearances.

id say they do pretty memorable stuff though (one of them gives gordon a functioning minigun for an arm and one of them holds a dog hostage which i say is not something id forget personally) so they might not get full on sprites but simpler little guys. i dunno.

dream world concepts are super abstract and fun to play with, but it also makes things very tricky.

aneeways, im leaving this the way it is here because it's four and a half in the morning and if i try to think any longer im going to contract multiple heart diseases. bye!!

2023.08.27

[loemius]

hi! just wanna say that your blog looks super interesting and i'm glad i came across it 😊 i'm wondering if you have any advice for someone new getting into hellenic polytheism. i have been really delving into my views on spirituality and religion for the first time in my life over the past year. i've been venerating Hekate a lot because of the deep calling i feel towards her. i've been thinking more and more about properly worshipping the other gods in the pantheon as well. i've always been very interested in all the mythology too. it feels right to start on so many levels but i am also so nervous at the same time :')

khaire!! thank you very much for your ask!! i'm very touched that you enjoy my blog so much and would ask for my advice. i'd love to give you some, with the caveat that i am absolutely not an expert or an authority and still have a lot to learn myself. i'm literally just a guy who loves the theoi a lot and does my best to worship them and honor them. this got very long so im gonna put this under a cut

first, i would encourage you to work past your nervousness. remember that historically speaking, children worshipped the theoi! there's plenty of evidence of this, from the rituals that youths would do as they became adults (such as cutting a lock of hair and offering it to the river [see iliad book 23 and pausanias 2.32.1 for primary sources on this, as a starting point]) or epithets like kourotropos (roughly translated to 'child nurturer', many theoi have this epithet, including hekate!). don't be scared of them. the theoi are gracious and good, and imo, they're very understanding. when i first started out, i prayed and basically said 'i'm new to this, i want to jump in and do my best, but i'm still learning. please be gentle and understanding to me as i embark on this path, and please guide me to worship you as you see fit.' i think being upfront about it really helps. i see a lot of people say that they want to worship but don't feel like they've done enough research or aren't ready for whatever reason. but you also have to start somewhere, and experience is a valuable tool on this path. it enriches your research to be doing it with a purpose, imo. you have to start somewhere yknow? as long as you're respectful, the theoi will be understanding, imo. i would highly, HIGHLY suggest you spend a lot of time researching. theoi.com is an invaluable resource. i also suggest perseus.edu, which is a digital library that has a wide collection of primary sources, including the epics and plays. i personally suggest the homeric hymns as a starting point, as most of them are rather short and approachable and make fantastic prayers to read aloud. i also suggest reading the epics and plays if you're able. secondary sources are also good. greek religion by walter burkert is a good source. i also suggest understanding greek religion by jennifer larson. people have a lot of divisive opinions on this one, but i think household worship by labrys can be a helpful source for what to do when it actually comes to doing your own worship and rituals. i also like hellenion as a source. use your discretion and critical thinking with all these sources. no one source is perfect. compare and contrast, look for biases, cross check. also, get interdisciplinary with it! look into theology, archeology, anthropology, philosophy, classics. don't be afraid to look in multiple places for information to piece it all together.

another suggestion i have is to spend some time immersing yourself in greek culture, both ancient and modern. religion and culture are deeply intertwined, and understanding the specific ways in which greeks view things will help you greatly. and look outside of greece too! ancient greece had a lot of contact with other areas of the world like italy, the middle east, and egypt, even india, and this absolutely influenced the religion and culture. be respectful to mediterranean people, and listen and elevate their voices. i very much like the blogs @/gemsofgreece and @/alatismeni-theitsa. you're not just learning about a religion, but an entire culture that still exists in the world today. here's my general worship advice: cleansing is important, but it doesn't have to be anything more than washing your hands before an offering or ritual. if you have a space for the theoi, try to keep it clean. offerings can be as simple or grand as you like. i find a lot of beauty in the simple things. a glass of water or sharing a meal goes a LONG way. clean, fresh water was a very coveted thing in the ancient world, so sharing a glass of water is honestly one of my favorite offerings. you can share your meal by praying over it and inviting the theoi to eat the steam/smells of the meal, or you could set aside a little plate for them if you wanted to (NOTE: traditionally, it is considered taboo to share offerings with kthonic deities. they were traditionally buried, and libations were poured onto the ground. in the modern day, i think setting things aside to be appropriately disposed of later or pouring things down the drain can be an acceptable substitute. its fine to share with ouranic deities!). really, just find little ways to involve them in your day to day life. pray. pray a lot, about anything, big or small. express gratitude to the theoi for the things you appreciate in your life, and share your struggles with them. it doesn't have to be formal (but it should be respectful). nurture your connections with the theoi and allow them to nurture you right back. do not feel obligated to share every part of your practice, especially online. keeping things to yourself or a close group of trusted friends can really be beneficial to you. truthfully i only post like .5% of my practice on this website. inherently, polytheistic practice in the modern day is a very personal practice. what might be a sign to you might not be to others. imo, the theoi reach out to us in ways that make sense to us, with the context and knowledge we have available, and that means its not always going to make sense to others. your practice should be for you and nobody else.

when it comes down to it, i suppose my advice is simple. research and just reach out. realize you're going to make mistakes sometimes (i have!) but as long as you have good intentions and respect the theoi, you'll be just fine. mistakes are a part of growing. don't beat yourself up over them -- use them as an opportunity to learn. we're only human, and the gods know this. your practice is going to change as you develop relationships with the theoi and learn more about them. things you might have resonated with at one point might not hit the same later on down the road, and thats okay! embrace that as a feature of polytheism, not a flaw. i realize i've given a lot of advice and this can be rather overwhelming. i've given you multiple places to start researching, and i absolutely was overwhelmed (and still am sometimes) with just how much information is out there. that is a blessing in hellenic polytheism. not every polytheistic religion has that wealth of information available, so take advantage of it, but do it in a way that's approachable for you. since you're interested in hekate, i would highly suggest you start with looking into deipnon . tldr its a monthly holiday on the new moon that honors hekate and her role in leading spirits, as well as purification for a new month. cleaning and purification of your home, food offerings, and charity acts are all great ways to honor this holiday. from there, you can easily incorporate noumenia and agaithos daimon (holidays to celebrate the beginning of a new month, usually devoted to zeus and other household gods such as apollon). ive really went off on a tangent here, so i'll cut myself off here. thank you again for asking a fantastic question, and i hope my answer can be of assistance to you and anyone else who might be in your position. may the gods bless you and look after you, and guide you with a kind hand as you embark on this journey. and have a great day and a fantastic meal friend <3

[destructivisms]

Thank you for letting me submit a ship request!!!! 🩷💗💕

My name is Enna and I'm a bi girl with blue/pink/purple hair, blue eyes, freckles, and im covered in tattoos!!! I love reading and writing (like so much lol), I bake, swim and listen to all genres of music (and sing along horribly!). I'm in school studying to be an English teacher and I'd love to be a writer on the side. I'm really shy and quiet, I try to be as kind as possible, though I come off sarcastic/use sarcasm as flirting. I try to be as optimistic as possible too. I adore horror movies and carry at least two books with me wherever I go. I love horror and dystopians the most, but any genre can catch my eye! My three favorite books are The Handmaid's Tale, A Little Life, and The Book Thief, but I could name every book on my shelf lol!!! I could go on forever about my favorites. The beach is my happy place and I hope to move closer to the ocean after I graduate!! I love studying languages and am trying to learn as many as possible (I speak three and im studying two more). I live for poetry tho I am awful as writing it. I love Russian poetry especially and try to read it in it's original language, but my Russian still needs work. I'm a Ravenclaw and my intelligence is really important to me :) I love learning so much, I have such a great passion for it!!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! 🩷💗💕

thank you so much for sending this!! fellow language enthusiast here, you seem super cool and i hope you enjoy the ship :)

I ship you with...

HUGHIE CAMPBELL!

ok incredibly biased because of the url but. hear me out. you guys are the cutest

You meet in the subway, as cliché as it sounds — you're taking the train to spend a sunny day in Rockaway Beach, and it's a long ride, so of course you're immersed in a good old book. You don't even notice the guy sitting across from you... Or how he's been throwing glances at you since he got in and saw you there.

As people come and go — and both of you are still there, it's a fairly long ride —, he's debating whether or not he should say something. Would he be intruding? Would it be friendly? Would it be weird? You seem so chill and unbothered, and he'd hate to piss you off by interrupting your reading, but he's just entranced by your entire vibe. You're so cool. You're sooo cool. Incredibly cute. The sun coming through the window shines a beam of light on your hair and he thinks he's gonna die. There's an energy, a lot of life to you, and that really draws him in.

As the train gets emptier, he ultimately decides on saying something — who knows when you're getting off the train and he loses his chance forever? And as much as he kept running lines in his head thinking what he'd ask, his brain just short-circuits and in classic Hughie fashion he goes with the first thought in his head: "Hey, that's a really good book."

Important: he had never heard of that book in his entire life

Still, it's enough to get your attention and a smile — what's the harm in earnest conversation? Of course, it's the New York subway, but he seems like a nice guy, you're not in a rush nor feeling uncomfortable, and you like to talk about your interests (it really is a really good book). He does confess he hadn't read it before the lie goes too far (knowing his habitual cover-ups, it could have gotten disastrous), but you two are so deep in such a good conversation you actually find it funny and sweet.

He gets off the train before you and thus the conversation is cut short, but you give him your number. It's a meet cute straight out of a movie and you make his day — I imagine you meet around early season 2, when they're in the hideout, and daily life is rough for The Boys. That conversation with you was a beam of light.

He texts you the day after, polite and casual with a joke in there — something along the lines of "Hey, I'm Hughie, the guy in the subway — if you didn't think I'm a lying idiot, would you be interested in grabbing coffee?"

He absolutely read this one text out loud and rewrote it several times to find the optimal way to not sound weird while asking you out

And that's the start of a series of texts and dates between you two

You two have so many deep conversations over text, stay up chatting about yourselves and your interests, send cute pictures of things that remind you of each other.

Hughie is the type of guy to wait for a message and either reply to it almost immediately or mentally put it off to not seem like he replied immediately. That, of course, when he sees the message, and is preferably not too busy with not dying.

He finds the many heart emojis incredibly endearing 💜 Not a big emoji guy, but adds smiley faces to the end of sentences :) and if you use WhatsApp he'd use A LOT of stickers. Corny hearts, cute animals, funny expressions, typical millennial memes, he saves them all.

Your contact goes from "Enna :)" to "Enna ❤️" as the relationship progresses

You talk mostly over text, because of your studies and his weird schedule with the coup's plans — and you don't really know what he does at that point —, so all of your dates are planned meets. You plan to meet at a coffee shop, you plan to spend the day at the beach, you plan to go to a record store. Everything scheduled (even though he's not the most on-time person, your dates are the very opposite of spontaneous). Hughie's very much a "by the book" type of guy when it comes to dating, he wants to do everything right and neat.

And so, after a month or two of going out, he officially asks you to be his girlfriend by giving you a copy of your favorite book with his annotations (he read it!).

See, Hughie is the typical guy who lost the reading habit because life happens, but meeting you motivated him to get back to reading. In the first dates he'd casually get a recommendation like it was small talk, until he mentioned a couple days later he was actually reading it. Never failed to make you melt.

He did not finish A Little Life though, didn't get through the first chapters without bawling his eyes out and feeling like shit and realized maybe he should skip that one.

You two share so much media — movies, books, music! He absolutely doesn't mind your singing, in fact he loves singing along to stuff with you. Expect so many car sing-alongs and playing music in the kitchen while you're cooking.

And I hope you like Billy Joel, because he will play it so much you'll inevitably know the lyrics. He'll warm up to your music too, but he's usually quicker than you to put on his playlist and you're not really complaining.

You try to show him horror movies but he bails after the first scare. He's already too horrified by the stuff happening in his life, he doesn't want to be horrified by the screen too. If you really, really insist, just this once, as a gift, for you, come on, he'll watch it on edge and stressed for the entire thing. Will hold onto you for dear life and scream out loud. "We had fun, right?" gf X "I've never been more stressed my entire life" bf.

He loves your hair so much — if you change it often, it becomes a thing for him to guess the next color before you go and dye it. He always comments on it, and has a personal ranking of his favorite Enna hair eras (like, seriously elaborated, which he could make a slide presentation on if prompted).

I do remember you mentioning you're very short so that's a funny add-on — this man is a giraffe, and now your personal crane. Will grab things on the top shelf for you all the time, especially books you want.

He's definitely the big spoon, and loves cuddling and hugging. Only in private though, like at home, he's kind of awkward with PDA. But he will hug you from behind when you're baking, wrap his arms over your shoulders, and oh I'm sorry I guess you have to stop whatever you're doing to give attention to your Big Friendly Giant of a boyfriend. No the brownies aren't burning.

The breakfast table is yap central. He grew up silently eating with his dad, not much happening there, but now he actively makes the choice to always ask you about random topics over breakfast or lunch. You're creating new traditions — the table around a meal is lively and a place for conversation, in which you feel safe to ramble about whatever topics you're interested in to each other.

You do explain to him about all the languages you're learning — Hughie's not particularly a language guy, but he's a passion guy and a you guy, so he becomes fascinated by your studies. You start sporadically bringing a book in another language to breakfast to read something aloud. He loves to hear the sound of your voice in any language.

It's interesting how much of a rambler he is, while at the same time keeping his life really private. Like, you know everything about every movie he's ever seen; he explains every record he likes that you might come across in a store; he'll talk about his passions and dreams and insecurities, talk about his dad and his problems with his mom... But you still don't know what the hell he does for work. Or any of his friends.

He does try to keep The Boys' work a secret for as long as possible; he feels awful for lying to you sometimes, being evasive, or giving vague answers, but he wants to protect you. So much. He wouldn't want to risk losing someone else he cared about; losing you. Your passion, kindness, optimism have saved him in so many bad days, in so many ways you didn't even know, and are so rare to maintain in the world he's in.

This light and energy that drew him to you is, in some way, the same thing that drew him to Robin (and, in the canon, Annie).

Secrets aren't kept forever, eventually he does tell you about the real nature of his work and the crew he surrounds himself with.

You don't really get involved in the work, you're not a part of THE BOYS, but you're Hughie's girl and they all know you. They have heard oh so much about you. Let's be honest they're nosy bitches — they'd be dying to know anything and everything about you from the moment Hughie offhandedly mentioned he had a date.

You guys were barely official and Frenchie said he wanted to be invited to the wedding

Hughie is the No. 1 supporter of your baked goods, and he starts bringing them to the office. They're all immediately hooked.

They tease him pretty much all the time — it's awww when you have a cute couple moment, crude jokes from Butcher (in good spirit, you respond with sarcasm and he respects you that way), a cacophony of noises and some "TELL HER I SAID HI" in the background of most phone calls —, but at the end of the day they're incredibly happy for you two. It's a breath of fresh air in their chaotic lifestyle that someone has something sweet in their life and a sense of normality. You're a beam of light. :)

[itssbriar]

Watched a few videos about the actual Journey to the West (been a long time since I read any of it and its also not my culture so im not an expert) but yea then it gets even better the more you know about the story

“Watch me rip it off, and break free” like bro Wukong has so much aura XD

Spoilers —>

He had the entire game as a plan to be able to break the circlet off him, and then with the power of buddahood he could fuck up the celestial court like he said he would at the start because the heavens are the bad guys here obviously. He said hed slaughter every mongrel of the court and he meant it

God i already loved the Journey to the West from what I had known of it, and knowing it inspired my favourite anime part of me Dragon Ball, but holy did this game make me appreciate it even more. It’s just so good, and to think 4 years ago I saw the teaser and thought wow I really wanna play and now I have, and it living up to that hype all this time.

ITS JUST SO FUCKING GOOD. Everything about this game is literally exactly what most companies don’t do anymore. They’re so money focused, profit focused, that the life and love is sucked away. They had some budget issues apparently with this game so some stuff of the story had to be cut ( which is coming in DLC because it was obviously so successful so im doubting theres budget issues now💀) , but you can tell that every person who worked on it believed in it the whole time and wanted it to be as close to perfect as possible. Music, storytelling, the animations at the end of chapters, VA’s, adding the really old TV adaptions song Celestial Symphony (modernised ofc but same song) from the 90s, graphics (that I cant run best at since pc isnt made for it but ive seen people who can), even gameplay being super fun and feeling like the powerful monkey king himself. Then theres extra stuff to do and newgame+ and eventually as I said DLC

I don’t usually go this hard about a game, but it really is Outer Wilds level. Its that random one off game that is just near perfect in every way and deserves its success for once, being totally unique and bringing something super valuable to the table. Its bringing a culture to an audience of not just people who have heard of it and are interested, but those youngies who dont read anymore who have no idea about culture stories like this 💀

[chvoswxtch]

Hello my love! I love the way you write Frank (AND Matt, but im in a Frank mood tonight). I’m not sure if you’re taking requests rn, but if you are, I love to submit one!! Tbh I’m so sick of how douchey guys are these days on apps, and the “oh you just wanted a free meal” behavior and dating rn is the fucking worst. What’s your take on a situation where you’re friends with Frank and you complain about how badly men behave these days, and he offers to take you on a real date and treat you right? Bc I could use a Frank to rescue me and treat me right rn 😫

hello my darling! thank you so much, omg. you're too kind🥺

ok first of all when I say you are PREACHING to the damn CHOIR !!! I tried a few dating apps and I loathed every single one of them. straight up was not having a good time. it was an absolute travesty, so I feel for you so hard right now angel.

this is my first time doing a headcannon so this is super exciting and i'm happy we get to do this together!! because you absolutely DESERVE a frankie to rescue you and treat you right because you are a goddamn CATCH you are a GLOWING GODDESS and anyone should be so heckin LUCKY as to go on a date with you ❤️

headcannon is going to be below the cut bc y'all know I get carried away, especially with my baby frankie

frank castle & dating apps

first things first: frank castle is very old fashioned, so the idea of a dating app probably not only confuses the fuck out of him but also makes him grimace. like the man without a doubt hates texting, preferring an actual phone call instead, and most likely comes up with a million different threats to your security and worst case scenarios when you teach him about online dating

"don't you wanna meet someone the old fashioned way? how can you tell they're not a complete asshole just by a picture and a few words? what if they ain't who they say they are? you still got that knife I gave ya?"

frank already made you share your location with him a long time ago for safety reasons but now makes you text him the address of wherever it is you're going on these "dates" as well as check in with him every hour

he would probably be adamant about coming with you and sitting in a corner somewhere so he could keep an eye on you but you quickly shot that down bc it's frank and he's very hard to miss and you would have a hard time explaining to your date why that big guy across the room looks like he's seconds away from committing murder (you know exactly which look i'm talking about)

frank requests you send him a picture of whatever guy you're meeting just in case he needs to hunt him down find him if you don't check in or something happens, and never hesitates to offer a look of utter disdain and merciless judgment when you finally send it

"really? you're goin' on a date with this? the options on them apps that goddamn bad, sweetheart?"

frank is extremely shameless in verbally eviscerating every single guy you show him or tell him about and never misses an opportunity to make his opinions known

one night you storm into his apartment without knocking (a common occurrence he's finally gotten used to) and plop down next to him on the couch with a glass a wine (he made a mental note to keep the kind you like on hand at all times) and start to vent about your latest disaster date

the guy made you drive nearly an hour out of your way to meet him at a sketchy dive bar, spent the whole night talking about himself and cutting you off every time you spoke, and then had the AUDACITY to ask you to cover the tab because he "forgot" his wallet at home (this actually happened to me once)

frank can't take it anymore. this online dating thing has been going on for months and every time you vent to him about these assholes, it gets harder and harder for him to control his feelings for you because he's supposed to be your friend and the guys you've been going out with look nothing like him and as much as he wants to be with you, he's scared to ruin the one good thing he has. so, frank hatches a plan

"alright, I can't take this shit anymore. don't make plans friday night. we're goin' out."

he says it so nonchalantly, you almost don't catch what he means. you splutter out your wine, staring over at frank because there's no way he just asked you out on a date??? frank catches your look and offers a timid smile, reaching over to squeeze your knee gently

"relax. i'm just gonna show you what a real date should be like. you've been on so many shitty ones, I don't even know if you know what a good one is. let me help you raise your standards a bit."

let me tell you something, frank castle knows a thing or two about romance. this man goes ALL OUT. picking you up at your door (on time, early even), flowers in hand (your favorites bc he actually listens when you talk), is the most dressed up you've ever seen him (it's a dress shirt and jeans but he's usually covered in blood so), opens all the doors for you and pulls out your chair, takes you to a restaurant he knew you would love bc he knows your favorite dish & dessert, spends the whole night asking you questions about things he's always wanted to know about you, makes you laugh with silly jokes and stories, and tells you several times throughout the night how beautiful he thinks you look

you've always had a crush on frank (how could you not honestly) so you were a nervous wreck about the whole thing and what it meant for your friendship and if he was just doing this to be nice because he felt sorry for you or if he actually liked you back

but the date is not only the best one you've ever been on but also the easiest because it's frank and he's your best friend and you've never felt more comfortable or at ease with someone and when the check comes it makes your heart sink because you never want this date to end, even if it isn't real

the entire walk back to your apartment there's a palpable nervous energy between the two of you and his hands are in his pockets but you desperately wish they were holding yours and when you stop at your door there's a million thoughts racing through your head that you wanna say but the look in frank's eyes steals the oxygen straight out of your lungs

"listen I uh...know I said this was just to show you how a real date should be and what not, and I did mean that but...I really just wanted to show you how you should be treated ya'know. how...how I would treat you, if you'd let me. i'd give you the goddamn world if you asked, sweetheart. I don't know if I read tonight wrong, but I know I could be the right man for you, and I think you know that too. at least, I hope you do. there's nothin' I wouldn't do for you, honey. I understand if you don't feel the same way-"

you don't even let frank finish that sentence before you're dragging him down by his collar and crashing your lips together because holy shit frank, your frank, wants you just as much as you want him

needless to say you invite him up and show him just how much you want him despite his weak attempt at trying to continue to be a gentleman

"sweetheart, we can take it slow. I don't mind-" "frank I swear to god if you don't take your pants off right now, i'm never kissing you again." "yes ma'am."