#guys it's so fun learning something from 0

[getbreaded]

Built a basic expense tracker with react :)

The course instructor was like "spend about an hour on it, and if you get stuck no worries, you're learning it's normal". So I spent maybe 5 hours on it hahaha. But I got it done! And I learned a lot about form validation and using hooks to manage state. Some parts were so challenging and I had a hard time figuring out the logic of sending state across components via props, plus typescript was always there to humble me ಥ_ಥ but I'm proud of myself.

Now onto seeing the solution and learning all the ways I can improve :)

[sysig]

If the rules are “Catch them all” ZEX already has a leg up (Patreon)

[emphistic]

Sukuna - 0 / Yuuji - 1

The both of you had reserved a dinner at this restaurant weeks prior. Not for any particular reason, just so you guys could have some fun on a night out together — something that neither of you have experienced in a while. Well, that was the original plan. Yuuji tagging along wasn't. Nor was a tantrum from the little boy, so Sukuna just had to accept the former, unless he wanted the latter . . . which he did not.

This was going to be a long night.

"Umm, can I have a Capri Sun? — Please?"

A very long night.

"Of course! I'll be right back with all of your orders."

Things weren't looking any better for the pink-haired man when the meals came.

Yuuji seemed to be struggling with his macaroni and cheese. Every time he tried to pick up a macaroni, it slid off his fork. Yuuji pouted, puffing his chubby cheeks out, and crossed his little arms.

"Aww, Yuuji. Do you need some help?" You turned to the boy, picking up his fork — that was specifically designed for kids, albeit it wasn't proving to be of any help to the toddler at the moment.

Yuuji fervently nodded his head, "Yes, please!"

"Alright, I'll help you," you ruffled his pink hair, eliciting a giggle from the boy. You picked up some macaroni and blew on it before feeding it to Yuuji.

"'s so yummy!" Yuuji exclaimed.

"Mhm," you wiped some sauce off the side of his mouth with a napkin.

When you had fed Yuuji an adequate amount of his dish, and he decided he wanted to take a coloring break, you began to try your own food. It's safe to say that after having starved yourself to feed a toddler, fettuccine alfredo is close to enchanting.

"Babe, this is so good. You have to try," you twirled the pasta with your fork and held your hand under it — avoiding any possible messes — before feeding it to the man sitting across from you.

Sukuna was ecstatic about having your attention back on him, and not on his little brother, and greedily accepted the food.

"It's not bad," Sukuna remarked, gesturing to you to give him more.

You took another bite of your pasta, before obliging to Sukuna's request, leaning over the table to reach the man.

All the while, Yuuji watched you feed his big brother with glittering eyes. "I wanna try, I wanna try!" He chanted repeatedly, in his adorable, squeaky voice.

"Okay, Yuuji. Just be careful, it's hot," again, you blew on the pasta before feeding it to Yuuji.

"It is dewicous!" Yuuji giggled, having not learned to differentiate between his l's and w's.

You set your fork down, grabbing your purse and getting up from your seat. Both of the Itadori brothers turned to you with looks of curiosity etched on their faces.

"I'm just going to the bathroom. Be right back," you rubbed Yuuji's cheek, making sure he would understand that you would only be away for a little bit.

Sukuna's gaze followed your back as you took your leave. He sighed, not wanting to be left alone with a toddler.

For a few moments, all was silent. Sukuna was glad for the lack of a squeaky voice. Unfortunately, a few moments does not last a long time.

"Umm, Sukuna. Can you help me?"

Sukuna closed his eyes, asking God what he did to be punished this way.

"Help you with what?"

"Can you help feed me, because, because my food is too hot." Yuuji looked at his brother, waiting for him to answer.

Sukuna has to face away from Yuuji, and take a deep breath just to restrain himself from going berserk on the little kid. Then he said, in the most calm voice he could muster, "First, you sit next to my girlfriend and make me sit across from her. Second, you steal her food. And third, you're making me feed you. Yeah, no way, little man." Sukuna shook his head.

Yuuji cocked his head at his brother. "But Y/N was helping me."

"Do I look like Y/N to you? . . . Don't answer that, brat." Sukuna scowlee, grabbing Yuuji's little fork and moving to feed him.

"Here comes the airplane, or whatever. I don't know what kinda shit Y/N says to you."

"Umm, it's too hot."

"That's not my problem, now eat it."

Yuuji gulped, deciding to blow on the macaroni himself, and eating it.

"See? Wasn't so bad."

This continued on for a whopping five minutes. Sukuna finally relented and blew on the macaroni before feeding Yuuji. The little boy was happy to spend time with his older brother, and was practically bouncing in his seat. On the other hand, Sukuna was just glad Yuuji wasn't crying about you not being there.

When you came back from the restrooms, Sukuna immediately put down Yuuji's fork and returned to eating his own meal.

"So, how was it, you two? Did you guys have some quality brotherly love time?"

". . . You are never leaving me alone with this brat again, ever."

Taglist: @starlets-things @sad-darksoul @mochimoee @r0ckst4rjk @lillycore @deepchromatose @yinyinyinyinyinyin

[factual-fantasy]

*Pulles out the Welcome Home Wiki and clears throat*

So, to start with, are there any elements of the Welcome home crew being a tv show? Any "neighbor" that Wally talks too?

Who would be the most likely to figure out Wally's house is alive? Can Home speak or are they limited to onomatopoeias?

Canonically, Wally can only do the Mash Potato, is your version of him a better or worse dancer? Is anyone particularly skilled at something you wouldn't think they'd be? (eg: Frank having mad crochet skills)

Who feels the most comfortable around Wally? Are any of the neighbors unerved by his sleep depreived behaviors at times?

If Poppy found Sally as a youngin, how did that happen on a scale of Thumbalina to Stitch?

How much of a jokster is Barnaby, has he ever gone too far with his jokes? What's his go to for lifting the spirits of his neighbors?

Does Julie love games just as much here? If so, how strict is she with the rules of them? Especially safety rules. Does she create new games often or stick with the same couple and occasionally introduce new ones as the current ones become less fun?

How much of a bug lover is Frank? Does it ever bother him that all his friends names end with -ly/ie and his last name does that instead of his first?

What is your current idea for Sally? More gremlin or fancy? Maybe a bit of both, reserving all her self-control for the stage?

Is Howdy's bugdega his most prized possession, or no more then it would be for a normal person? How receptive is he to jokes?

Would the town of Welcome Home still use Jokes are currency, or would you switch it to a more standard kind of money?

Hope that's enough for ya XD

XD I couldn't help myself, I interpreted that question about Franks name as a funny drawing prompt! XDD Now onto your other questions..

1: Are there any elements of the Welcome home crew being a tv show? Any "neighbor" that Wally talks too?

Nahh, there aren't any elements of their world being a show or a Y/N and/or neighbor that Wally talks too. Its just the neighbors and their world is very real to them! :0

2: Who would be the most likely to figure out Wally's house is alive? Can Home speak or are they limited to onomatopoeias?

I don't have any plans for anyone to find out Home is alive.. but if anyone ever did, Wally, Eddie and Barnaby would be good candidates. Wally because he lives there and is pretty sensitive to Home's energy. Eddie because he is very sensitive to homes energy.. and Barnaby, because he's really close to Wally and is looking in on this situation with a clear and level head. Perhaps he would notice things that Eddie and Wally are too scatterbrained to notice..

Also yes! :0 Home cannot speak and is limited to onomatopoeias!

3: Canonically, Wally can only do the Mash Potato, is your version of him a better or worse dancer?

I'd like to think my Wally is capable of learning new dances, but he's just not particularly interested.. <XD so yeah! Only the mashed potato for my Wally too XDD

4: Is anyone particularly skilled at something you wouldn't think they'd be?

I have a few in mind for surprising skills! My Barnaby is surprisingly good at sewing! He learned it from his mama 🥺💞💞 Julie is- well, to the surprise of the neighbors at least- really good at making campfires from scratch and other outdoorsy things! :0 And lastly, Eddie is known for being clumsy and forgetful.. but surprisingly he has fantastic handwriting. Beautiful cursive, perfectly spaced out, perfect punctuation, never smudges, all the "I"s are dotted and every "T" is crossed. He never has to erase and never spells anything wrong! Eddie doesn't know how he got so good at it.. Its just always been like that he says. hmm..

Technically Barnaby would feel the most comfortable around Wally, since they're best friends an all.. :0 But no one is uncomfortable around Wally due to his sleepy behaviors! The neighbors mostly feel pity for the poor guy.. it cant be fun to never get a good nights sleep..

5: Who feels the most comfortable around Wally? Are any of the neighbors unnerved by his sleep deprived behaviors at times?

6: If Poppy found Sally as a youngin, how did that happen on a scale of Thumbalina to Stitch?

I cant really remember the stories of Stitch and Thumbalina that well... but I'd say it might be more like Stitch..? <XD Sally was super excited to explore everything and go everywhere. So she was quite the handful! Like I think Stitch was..?

7: How much of a jokester is Barnaby, has he ever gone too far with his jokes? What's his go to for lifting the spirits of his neighbors?

Barnaby is a Sans level jokester XDD Fitting puns and jokes into almost every other sentence! But thankfully he's rather observant and doesn't ever go too far. He knows what jokes are and are not appropriate to say around certain neighbors. He also can tell if its a good or bad time to crack a joke.. when it comes to lifting the spirits of his neighbors.. his go-to will depend on the neighbor. For Howdy, Julie or Eddie, he just needs a few good jokes with maybe a sprinkle of life advice in there to get them smiling again.

For Poppy or Wally, his go-to is usually to talk to them rather seriously and figure out what's wrong..

If Poppy is upset, it usually because she's anxious about something. So Barnaby will try to figure out what's wrong so he can help her fix the problem or maybe comfort her if its worry over nothing..

If Wally is visibly upset, usually that means something is really wrong.. Barnaby probably wont let up in until he figures out what happened and is able to help his poor buddy..

8: Does Julie love games just as much here? If so, how strict is she with the rules of them? Especially safety rules. Does she create new games often or stick with the same couple and occasionally introduce new ones as the current ones become less fun?

I'd like to think that my Julie loves games too! :)) She is lenient on any and all rules if all the other players agree to it. In a way changing the rules creates a whole new game! But safety rules are no breakers! Gotta keep her friends safe after all! And I think Julie only switches it up and tries new games once her neighbors are bored with the current selection :00

9: How much of a bug lover is Frank?

Well considering my Frank moved to this neighborhood specifically so he could study and live alongside all the creepy crawlies there.. I'd says he loves them with all his heart! XDDD (Also never call them creepy crawlies around Frank, he hates that!)

10: What is your current idea for Sally? More gremlin or fancy? Maybe a bit of both, reserving all her self-control for the stage?

Right now I'm resisting the urge to make her a 100% chaotic gremlin <XDD Since I don't know if that fits her canon character very well.. I'm leaning more towards a passionate and sassy theater kid atm 🤣🤣🤣

11: Is Howdy's bugdega his most prized possession, or no more then it would be for a normal person? How receptive is he to jokes?

(AOIJASJFF I JUST GOT IT-- BUGDEGA XDD) Its his most prized possession! He treats it better than he does himself to be honest! <XDD And he has a great passion for the quality of the products he sells too!

As for jokes, my Howdy loves a good joke. There's a rumor if you make him laugh, he'll give you a discount! 👀👀

12: Would the town of Welcome Home still use Jokes are currency, or would you switch it to a more standard kind of money?

The canon uses jokes as currency?? :0 Huh.. I didn't know that, I intended to make my neighbors all have jobs. But I guess that begs the question, what jobs do they have.. I guess that's still a work in progress <XD

Anyways- thank you for all the questions! :DD These were a blast to answer, and I hope you had fun reading them! XDD

[arc-misadventures]

It Was That Easy?!

Jaune, and Coco:

~~~

Velvet: That was fucking it?!!

Coco: Yeah...

Velvet: You two have been dancing around each other for months! And, what finally gets you two to start dating was the fact that you two wouldn't hang out as much if you started dating other people?!

Coco: Yes...?

Velvet: We tried to set you up for months! A simple conversation got you together?!

Coco: You tried to set me up?

Velvet: We locked you in a closet!

Coco: Oh, I remember that closet... That was quite cramped...

Velvet: The time we stole all his clothes so you would walk in on him naked!

Coco: My man looks like a marble statue. Mmmh~! Those abbs~!

Velvet: The tickets you gave you guys to go to that resort in, Vaccuo! You two were all alone, and you didn't do anything?!

Coco: We defiantly had plenty of beach suit fashion shows. For the record: Speedos do not word on, Jaune. That bulge... I have various mixed feelings after seeing that...

Velvet: We spiked your food!

Coco: You spiked our food?!

Velvet: There was faunas grade aphrodisiacs in your food! And, nothing happened?!

Coco: Wait, was that in the fish dish you made us. Because we had the runs after eating that.

Velvet: All that planning, all that work, all our scheming, and none of that work?!

Coco: Sorry...?

Velvet: That's it! You're going to the closet!

Coco: What?

~~~

Velvet: Get in there!

Coco: Whoa hey, Vel, what are you...?! Ooph!

Jaune: Uhh... Hey, Coco...?

Coco: Jaune...?

Velvet: This time you better do it!

Nora: Or, I'll spike your food again!

(Slam!)

Jaune: ...?

Coco: ...?

Jaune: So... I take it, Velvet let you know about her schemes to get us together too right?

Coco: Yeah, apparently she was the reason why were locked in a closet for the first time. And, she stole all your clothes so I would walk in on you naked. Got us those tickets so we could stay at that resort. And, she spiked out food.

Jaune: Oh, it was , Velvet who did that. Nora told me a different story about what she did.

Coco: What did she do?

Jaune: That resort we were staying at actually had two beds in it, Nora some how got rid of one of them.

Coco: What? The bed was made into the wall; How did she do that?

Jaune: Best not ask. She actually go that distress call from when we got stuck in the cabin in the mountain.

Coco: She did?

Jaune: Yeah, she wanted us to... mingle to stay warm before she rescued us the next day.

Coco: Posing naked in furs was certainly a way to mingle...

Jaune: And, she spiked our food...

Coco: And, after she learned that we got together because we didn't want to stop hanging out, she shoved you in the closet as well...

Jaune: Yeah... And, while i wouldn't mind us having some fun here in the closet~!

Coco: Oh, really~?

Jaune: But, they put us in the wrong closet...

Coco: Eh?

Jaune: It's too cramped, I can't move...

Coco: Grr... come one. I can...?! Grrrr...! I'm stuck too...

Jaune: Can you reach my scroll?

Coco: Nope, my hands our stuck here feeling up your broad chest~! You?

Jaune: Maybe...? Let's see if I can... Ahh found it! Uhh... Password?

Coco: 0-2-2-4.

Jaune: Okay... Calling...? Glynda...

Coco: Good choice.

Glynda: Hello, Coco do you need something?

Coco: Hi, Triple G! Uhhh... So, Jaune, and I started dating...

Glynda: You two started dating?!

Coco: Yes... and...?!

Glynda: Fucking finally!

Coco: ...

Jaune: ...

Coco: We should have started dating months ago...

Jaune: Yeah...

[hana-no-seiiki]

Ohh I got soooo many ideas, like CV reader got kidnapped by black mask (I think it's red hood nemesis, am not that deep in DC comics but I know the basics) so he could have a deal or take information out of red hood using CV reader. And when Jason found out about it he was pissed but when he got there the bad guys already down because CV reader took them down.

P.s I don't mind if you use this as a reference to make a headcanon or story on contrary i would love to read it, but it's up to you!!

🎧ྀི » [ what a catastrophy ! ] «

0:00 ─〇───── 0:00

⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

tw/cw: yandere, jason being horny/implied noncon, cat villain! reader being an absolute menace and a whore as always.

pairings: yan! batfam x cat villain/vigilante! reader

note: this happens after conflict between jason and other members of batfam are resolved and at that point cat villain! is more solidly on the cat vigilante! side

“How long is this going to take exactly? I’m about to take an involuntary cat nap with how utterly slow you all are being.”

The Court of Owls were a group of people you’ve absolutely despised on every era you’ve had under your cat mask. Whether it was your wild years as Cat Woman’s protégé or when you were basically assimilated as the Batfam’s shared s/o. You could never bring yourself to like absurdly rich people that well. Much less rich people who do bad things.

For legal and safety reasons, you have to say that the Batfamily are an exception.

You don’t know how on Earth they managed to get their hands on equipment that prevented your powers from working, but it was proving to be quite the annoying conundrum.

“I’m sorry but I’m feline a little too underwhelmed by this whole kidnapping thing. Why don’t we hurry things up a little?”

MEANWHILE . . .

“Where the hell did you take them?!”

Jason slammed Black Mask unto the wall, using the backside of his arm and pressing it against the man’s chest.

The latter’s men took a defensive, alert stance. Ready to pounce on command.

But Black Mask only gestured them to stand down.

“You have to understand, the fact that I even thought of informing you of my deal is a huge risk. I could lose my biggest benefactors.” He replied, calm and polite. In contrast to the harsh kick he deals to his assailant, making Jason back off. “I’m doing you all a favor. I’m doing [Cat Villain Name] a favor.”

“They’re currently on a private island to the south. I can’t give you the exact coordinates but here’s the general location.” He tossed a flashdrive, one swiftly caught and skimmed through by Tim.

“Why are you helping us?” Damian’s mind was already calculating the best way to get rid of everyone in this room. The grip on his katana tightening by the second. He had full faith that you were capable of taking care of yourself, but it did not help with the fear of disappearance whatsoever.

He was sure that the sight of you getting hurt would lead to him going on a rampage.

“Maybe the fact that even with my help, you kids being too late would open their mind and make them come back to our side. They’d finally learn that you’re only as good for them as Batman was to —“ Damian couldn’t stop himself anymore, knocking the man unconscious as the rest of the crew took down his goons with ease. Their worry over your current condition giving them a surprising amount of efficiency as a team.

“It’ll take several hours to even get to those islands much less even find which one . . .” Tim bit his lip. He wasn’t concerned at all. He knows you inside and out. In fact, he already knew where you were exactly. All of this info gathering was just his plan to delay things so that your patience would run out and he’d get front row seats to the carnage you’d inevitably cause. After all, there was something he can always predict when it came to you.

Your unending thirst for fun and chaos.

It took about a week for them to find you. Just about enough time for you to get antsy about not seeing your beloved pets and home.

And plenty of time for you to have your fun, pretending to be hurt, crying out in feigned agony, before you finally took down your prey.

“Red Hood! Come back! We can’t just barge in—“ Dick called out to Jason.

But all Jason could think of was the way you screamed in terror. The footage of your ‘torture’ was something he had nightmares about.

“Kitty! Are you—“ He kicked the door off its hinges, guns ready to fire.

But his sights only landed on a singular breathing being in the middle of a room. Covered in the blood of your victims. Grooming yourself clean.

Each lick sending shivers down his spine.

He sighed in relief. “You really have to stop playing with your food, Kitty.”

His lips envelopes yours as the world disappears from your vision.

୨ ©️ ୧⸝⸝﹕hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2024﹐⊂☁️⊃ ‹𝟹

[angelsknifeprty]

streamer!ellie hcs ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

a/n: this is more focused on ellie and less on ellie x reader but i am for sure gonna follow this up with something else more focused on the both of you >:3

warnings | mentions of weed, the smallest hint towards struggling with eating if you squint

word count: 698

do not buy tlou | ways to help palestine | operation olive branch | keep eyes on sudan | haiti’s history | learn about congo

���� ‧₊˚ ⋅

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ started off posting unlisted videos of her playing games with the stupidest, shittiest editing ever for you and her friends to watch and later decided to give streaming a try

‎ ‧₊˚౨ৎ starts off her twitch channel as a faceless streamer but does a face reveal when she hits a big milestone

‧₊˚౨ৎ has the creeper mini fridge for sure!!

‧₊˚౨ৎ has a ginger cat named garfield that she exclusively calls garfunkel on stream because her viewers made fun of her for garfield being too unoriginal

“guys, what do you mean it’s unoriginal, look at him. that’s literally garfield, the real deal. you’re all haters.”

‧₊˚౨ৎ plays a bunch of different games: minecraft obviously, fortnite, roblox (and argues with kids on there, you can’t tell me any different). also loves fnaf, elder scrolls and resident evil

‧₊˚౨ৎ more on her liking resident evil, i think she’s not super wimpy when it comes to games like that but she HATES the regenerators from the re4 remake (i’m totally not projecting…)

“i am NOT a wimp, but look at their freaky fucking arms!! and they have gross little butts too, that was not a necessary choice for the character design.”

‧₊˚౨ৎ she does find it funny when she kills them and they jiggle as they fall on the ground though

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ i’m throwing it in here that she smokes weed because i simply cannot help myself teehee :P

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ she does more chill streams of her eating n stuff as a way of comforting her viewers so they can eat along with her )):

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ and in turn chat always spams her with comments to drink water because that girl survives purely on energy drinks to combat her sleepy girl syndrome

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ abuses the soundboard so heavily, loves using a sound effect of an audience clapping and cheering when she tells the most painfully unfunny joke

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ she is ABSOLUTELY a jerma985 fan

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ loves putting her fans on blast and reacting to edits of her on stream and finds it so funny (especially the ones that have the reverb fart noise just randomly slapped in there, she thinks it’s peak humour)

“you guys think i don’t see this stuff? i have eyes everywhere. y’know what though, you guys are actually really talented.”

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ wears stupid t-shirts that say stuff like “i paused my game to be here” (omg i just found one that says “gamers make better lovers, they know all the right buttons” she would absolutely wear that)

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ she wears her silly t-shirts with pride and has the audacity to ask chat to rate how hard her fit goes

therealher0brine: BOOOOOO 🍅🍅🍅 0/10

elliebellie69: i beg that you don’t leave the house in that /lh  (╥﹏╥)

gnarpgnarp500: never beating the loser lesbian allegations i fear…

“guys you’re just not seeing the vision, sorry that you’re not this cool.”

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ oh my gosh she is OBSESSED with the little ikea alien, she has multiple of them in her room. she keeps one on her desk and when she sometimes doesn’t know what to say she’ll just hold it up super close to the camera and make incoherent high pitched babbling sounds

smelliams420: omg cancelled you can’t say that dude…

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ gets her viewers to send in clips and she’ll do high try not to laugh streams and fails miserably because she has the dumbest sense of humour ever. she’ll blame it entirely on the herb though as if her reaction wouldn’t be near enough the same when she’s sober

‧₊˚౨ৎ will occasionally play guitar on stream and she’ll sing too if you catch her in the right mood. she’s a bit awkward about it so it doesn’t happen often cuz she hates messing up and always makes a way bigger deal about it than necessary

“fuck- no wait, i was just messing with you. that fuck up was on purpose, shut up,” and her cheeks are flushed bright red as she tries to brush it off and compose herself before trying again

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ loves to get sidetracked and info dumps about stuff she is far too knowledgeable on

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ in conclusion, loser ellie supremacy

a/n: raghhh i love streamer els with my whole heart !!! i’m gonna eat her (˶˃⤙˂˶) anyways i hope you enjoyed, k bye mwah! >3< ♡

[vexwerewolf]

Felicitations, comrade! We had our session 0 for the IGF campaign im running, and one of my players wants to be a moonlighter pirate "infiltrating" Hell's Gate militia. He was initially thinking of being affiliated with the Hell Hounds, which for obvious reasons would present some challenges. Do you have any advice for making this happen, what with the very first mission putting him up against his true boss? I dont know that he'd have enough time to have truly built up camraderie with the rest of the SRT to truly make his character have conflicted loyalties.

I mean, he'd have to have been with the militia a while to build up enough trust to be seriously considered for the SRT.

But moreover, let me tell you what being a Hell Hound is like.

CW: psychological and physical abuse

So one thing I want to make it clear that the Hell Hounds are basically an incel cult without the weird gender-sexual overtones. I imagine there ARE women and enbies who join it but in essence Andros Capella is a creepy weirdo who preys on disaffected, primarily male youth with no prospects and indoctrinates them into his worldview of nihilistic violence.

Andros doesn't really have a philosophy, or at least not one that he could describe in words (and even if he could, he wouldn't), but it could be summed up as "the weak exist solely to create things for the strong to take." You are worthy of having things if you are strong enough to take them, but only so long as you're strong enough to keep them.

The closest political ideology I could ascribe to him would be "stateless fascism." Andros is certainly sadistic, devoid of empathy and believes himself to be supreme, but he's too intellectually lazy to bother engaging in justifying why he's supreme. He makes the most basic of naturalistic arguments (i.e. "this is just the way the world works") but feels it's beneath him to actually justify or provide evidence for his claims.

He hates the minutiae of day-to-day life, and derives no joy from anything that doesn't involve someone else's discomfort or pain. He will steal your food for the sheer thrill of having taken something that you wanted to eat, but he won't enjoy eating it because he despises the physical sensations of chewing and swallowing.

And if you are a Hell Hound who, god forbid, enjoys something, he will bully the shit out of you. He will verbally and physically abuse you until you learn to hate the thing you liked just to make the pain stop.

Lemme tell you what the average night on Fort Cerberus looks like when you're not on a raid: you and a couple hundred other sick fucks lurk around the corridors drinking and gambling but you sure as hell better not actually look like you're having fun because you're all desperately trying to avoid becoming the bossman's next chew toy.

Some poor fuck catches Andros' eye. You're not sure what for, but from the sounds of things he might've been counting his poker winnings too loud. He gets a hand on his shoulder from the big man, who tells him that he's being too selfish - gotta learn to share a bit more, yeah? Now, way Andros sees it, guy's got ten fingernails that he's keeping all to himself, so here's a set of pliers - redistribute.

You jeer along with the rest of the room, loud enough to drown out his screams, because you're so very, very relieved that it isn't you. But you fuck up. You look a little bit too enthusiastic, perhaps, or maybe it's the opposite, maybe you weren't forcing it enough. Either way, the bossman's eyes land on you and your blood turns to ice in your veins.

"You," he says. "C'mere."

The room is dead silent all of a sudden, quiet enough that the pitiful whimpering of the first guy, (currently on his second thumbnail) is the only sound you can hear. You walk over, as a prisoner does to the place of execution.

He takes your hands, inspecting your fingernails, and then your hands, then your arms. "No ink yet? You not pulling your weight? Am I payin' to feed a fuckin' leech?"

You say you're not a leech.

"Those pricks over at the Gate are gettin' too clever. Learning too quick. Gettin' the jump on us too many times. I want someone over there learnin' what they know. You 'avin' no ink makes you a good choice. They'd sniff out any of these boys in a second, they would, but not you. You look soft. Don't he look soft, boys?"

The room jeers at you just as you jeered at the first guy (he's on his ninth nail, now, and his throat is so hoarse he can't make sounds anymore). You try your best to remain composed.

"Normally soft'd be fuckin' worthless. But soft'll let you blend right in with the Gaters."

So, to avoid whatever horrific torture he's currently ideating, you agree. The next time they go out on a raid, they pick a ship full of people who don't know each other and slip you in with the passengers when nobody's looking. You don't go to Hell's Gate directly - you do a couple of hops through the Thousand Habs, just to throw off suspicion.

You sue for residency on the station as a refugee from a failed habitat. They give you your own cabin, and they make sure you're fed and clothed. You smirk to yourself - they really are as soft as Andros said they'd be; they have food and water and clothes and they're just giving them away!

You don't have all that many marketable skills, so after a few rotations scrubbing air filters, you apply to take the militia aptitude test. You try to play it down so they don't get suspicious, but if nothing else you're a damn good pilot, so you get fast-tracked. These fucking idiots just give you a mech! God, it's gonna be so easy to tear them apart from the inside.

They put you in a team. You train together, building up hours in the simulators. Then something weird happens. They... trust you? They want to... spend time with you, outside the simulators. They want to drink with you, play games with you, hear about your life. Well, is it more suspicious if you say no? You have to maintain your cover.

You don't always fit in well. Sometimes you crack jokes that are... a little unpleasant, a little off, a little worrying, and you learn to bite those down because it's bad for your cover. You also have this odd air about you, like you're constantly on guard, like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop (like somebody's gonna make you rip your fingernails out if you're too happy). People figure you must've gone through some trauma and are kind stupid enough not to pry.

You feed information about the militia back to Andros - carefully, so as not to blow your cover. Some members of your team get hurt - nobody dies, but they get hurt. You feel... bad. Why do you feel bad? They're soft, they're weak, they don't mean anything. They're not your real friends. You don't have any friends.

Months pass. Jerry says he wants to tap your team for a long-standing project he's working on. This is your chance. Sabotaging this will prove to Andros that you're strong, that you're not weak, that you're not a leech, that you can pull your weight.

Sure, a bunch of your team will have to die. The only people who've ever put their trust in you, the only people who've ever believed in you. But that's fine, right? They don't mean anything, they're not real people, right? They're idiots for trusting you, right? They deserve it, right?

Right?

... right?

[starbamnk]

Hi :3!! I heard you have a biker au :0? !!!

- 🦇

DO I EVER HAVE A BIKER AU

well its the seeds of an idea for a biker au..... gonna yap abt it under the cut :3

warning: i yap for a while.

So this biker au follows the story of a gang of bikers, and the group of mechanics that work at the shop these bikers always go to when they get their shit rocked.

The biker gang (at the moment) consists of Ash, Spoke, Roshambo, Squiddo, and Planet. They do trail biking, and often compete in official and unofficial races that can often result in injuries and broken bikes. Haven't named the gang yet but Spoke probably named it so they probably call themselves somsthing stupid like La La Legio— *gets shot*

These guys have been friends since highschool and are currently all attending college when not racing or at their respective workplaces. Their collective goal with racing is mostly to have fun, but Spoke and Ash in particular have some sort of beef with another couple bikers who they race often: Minute, Clown, and Leo.

Those three, the PMC (Poopy Motor Cyclists, as Spoke has dubbed them), are well known in the trail racing community to bike with reckless abandon, but they somehow always end up winning their races. Ash and Spoke don't like them. The rest of their friends think it stems from jealousy.

The thing about racing these guys is that Ash and Spoke are, more often than not, coaxed into also biking with less care and more risk than they usually would. They, however, are not as lucky as the PMC and often find themselves either injured or in the shop begging Parrot for a discount on the most recent repairs that need to be done.

Now, these mechanics. They work at a locally owned bike repair shop, founded by Mapicc's grandfather. Mapicc very recently inherited ownership of the shop, and is kind of struggling to find his footing as the guy in charge. His employees (who he pays very well don't listen to them when they say otherwise) are mostly all his friends who were looking for jobs.

Reddoons, Branzy, Parrot, Mapicc, Cube, and Bacon all work there full time, and a couple of them (Mapicc and Cube) even bike themselves when they have the time.

Roshambo and Mapicc have known eachother since diapers, so he's always gotten discounts at the shop. The rest of his gang has been not-so-subtlety trying to befriend the rest of the mechanics at the shop to also get access to this discount.

And basically, this AU follows the story of these two groups of people. How their worlds overlap, how they stay separate, and what they can learn from each other. Might sprinkle a little power of friendship in there for safe measure.

Parrot and Spoke have a little enemies to friends arc,

Reddoons learns to let go and grieve something he loved,

Branzy falls in love with the WRONG FUCKING BIKER,

Ashswagg finds it in himself to be devoted to something a little healthier than a one-sides rivalry

Spoke learns he doesn't need to do crazy things and get crazy hurt to be cared about,

Mapicc becomes more comfortable in his authority and abilities, learning not to compare his accomplishments with those of others,

Ash and Red fill missing pieces for eachother, offering comfort balanced with excitement and the feeling of loving something other than bikes,

Minute and Leo spend a LOT of time trying to find out who keeps giving Minute anonymous notes claiming to be his biggest fan,

and other fun shenanigans!!!

This would be a massive project to write but i really do hope i get there someday. I do really have a soft spot for Hot biker + the fucking IDIOT that fixes his bike

thanks for asking about the au!!!!

[adelarsims]

Embers Academy Spellcasting Tournament: Spells (Group 2)

rules:

students need to learn 2 spells from each magic school. for finishing spells on the first hour, they get 20 points (separately for each school). for finishing on the second hour, 12 points. the third hour will bring 8 points, and the fourth hour 4 point. further than four hours is 0. the task is to learn two spells, so learning only one is considered failing the assignment, and it will only bring you 2 sad pity points

there's an additional practical task of creating 3 dishes with grand delicioso spell. score for this part is the sum of dishes' prices (spoiled dish gives 0, excellent quality dish gives x2 to the price) divided by 20

just as in the potions challenge, their autonomy is off, but if someone decides to stop learning for whatever reason and do something else, i will let them finish whatever they decided to do before returning them back to the task

group 2: Capri Seguin, Yasu Bando, Mindy Carol, Marnix Thornwood, Clotho Moirai, Junis Haydn, Renata Morales, and Nadith Wolfsbane

capri has the best score in her group. i don't know if she's really getting the hang of it, or it's the power of sir caesar's magic sniff of her wand

at some point between her potion class and today, mindy died. by a meteorite. now she has fun possessing things and recreating the event of her death for tiktoks. well, young lady, if you think death is a good excuse for skipping classes, you're at the wrong academy

mindy possessed renata's notes and scared her. everyone else was fine but poor renata didn't have a great day

nadith had an average success with spells so she decided to resort to karate :D she did great on practice though and it secured her the second place

why do they three look like they're a girls' pop music band or something

junis also tries to use their fists. what's wrong with you guys today. and of course ayrin is here to support (and roast if necessary)

this woman is perfect, and look at them two, walking like superheroes on a movie poster

clotho's success in spellcasting still isn't the best, but i'm pretty sure they're holding back on purpose because imagine a duel with someone who casts spells with 6 arms

there's everyone, and then there's yasu... look at him not having enough time to learn practical magic, but having a lot of time to snap selfies

marnix realized that the circus is always hiring and if the tournament thing won't work out, he can always become a magician

ok bye sir caesar is out

@bloomingkyras @llamatail @royal-teabag @nova-kim @applesaucesims @invisiblequeen @riverofjazzsims @lupinkforreal

[sysig]

Size difference.png (Patreon)

[clavissionary-position]

Ikeprinces As Ranked By Gilbert

**Best enjoyed after reading Gil’s route. There are also spoilers of varying degrees from some sequel routes (Chev, Licht).

1. LUKE

Luke: I’m surprised I got the top spot. Don’t you and Chevvie go way back? Gilbert: That’s true, but you’re my adorable little kid brother. I’ve carried you on my back. You’ve carried me on your back. Good times. Luke: Aw, Dad… (bear-hugs Gil) Gilbert: (pouts as he struggles to breathe) Did you even… hear a word of what I said… Luke: I heard ‘kid’. That makes ya my dad, right?

2. CHEVALIER

Gilbert: So? What do you think? Chevalier: (ignores him and continues doing paperwork) Gilbert: (high-pitched voice) “Please, oh please, Gil! Please trample my country to the ground, rebuild it in your image and then run it for me!” Something like that, right? Gilbert: (dodges pebble) Ahh, sorry, sorry. It would probably be more like “Please, oh please, Eyepatch!" Gilbert: (dodges another pebble) What is going on here? Do you roll around in the garden before coming to work every day?

3. CLAVIS

Clavis: (stiff smile) I baked you one of my most sought-after creations as thanks. I’d be honored if you’d try it, Lord Gilbert. Gilbert: Hmm, it looks as unappetizing as I expected but smells delicious. Oh, and... (sniffs) ...you even infused it with my favorite poison! Clavis: Hahaha! Well, I didn’t want you to get the idea that I’d learned nothing about you during all our years working together. Gilbert: Of course, of course. Would you like to share this with me Clavis: (stiff smile) No, no, no. It’s best enjoyed alone. Please, I insist.

4. RIO

Rio: If you’re trying to use me to get to my mistress, then I’ll— Gilbert: You misunderstand me. (Sets down two plates of pain perdu and places his hand on Rio’s) I really do commiserate with you, you know. It’s not easy seeing the one you love go off to be with another man. And yet you gladly sacrifice your own happiness. As though it were someone else's joy to give away. Rio: It is. My joy belongs to my mistress. Gilbert: Hmph? Let's see. Pain perdu means ‘lost bread’, right? Poor, poor abandoned little toast, molding under the table. Gilbert: Oh, by the way. I asked the little rabbit if I could bring these to you on her behalf. (Proceeds to eat all the pain perdu himself) Rio: (smiles brightly) So I’ve heard you love exercising!

5. SILVIO

Silvio: (kicks down the door) Where's the list? Gilbert: (innocently sips tea) So you can tear it up? Did you think I didn't make copies to send to every one of your little merchant friends? Silvio: My real friends know what's up. Gilbert: What a hurtful thing to say. I’m just honoring our friendship. And buttering you up for future manipulation. Silvio: Tch. I don’t know what game you’re playing— Gilbert: Human chess. Silvio: —but I’ll buy up every damn piece before you can get your filthy little mitts on 'em. Gilbert: Hehe, splendid. (Sits back with a smile) What’s more fun than controlling someone who controls everything else?

6. KEITH

Keith: Picked me over the other guy, did ya? Gilbert: Oh, he’s on the list too, of course. But I can’t stand how much of a do-gooder he is. And besides, you’re much more fun to play with. Keith: That right? I’m usually the one doing the teasing around here, though. Gilbert: (looks around dramatically) Around here? Where only a handful of people even know you exist? Tell me, if a tree falls and no one’s there to hear it, does it make a sound? Keith: >:0

7. KEITH

Keith: (hangs head) So you know… about him… Gilbert: Ahaha, there's no need to look so down! You haven’t done anything wrong, have you? It’s all him, right? If only he’d just disappear and stop taunting you from Spot #6. Keith: N-No! I don’t want that! I don’t… think I want that… Keith: Yes, I’m sure of it. He and I can share our friends. Gilbert: (stops smiling) Sharing only works if you can fully trust the other person to not take advantage of your kindness. You may think you can do that now, but people change. Circumstances change. The galette must one day burn. Keith: :’(

8. JIN

Jin: (thoroughly unamused) How kind of you. Gilbert: Isn’t it? But you should know that I’ve got nothing against you personally. Whatever enmity there is between us stems primarily from you. If you weren’t royalty, we might have even co-brothered Luke together. Jin: (throws up in his mouth) I don’t see how that has anything to do with this. And you’re the most detested royal figurehead on the continent. Gilbert: (shrugs) I’d say I’m sorry you can’t see past that, but I’d be lying if I claimed there was anything there to be seen in the first place. Thanks for the lollypop. Jin: What? HEY—

9. SARIEL

Sariel: (stops as soon as he enters his office) What are these vermin doing here? Gilbert: (sitting in Sariel’s chair) Just a little gift I brought so I could congratulate you for making it onto my list. Would you like to do the honors? Sariel: (plucks him up by the fur) Am I to understand you’re giving me a chance to correct my oversight before you take things into your own hands? Gilbert: (brushes himself off) I expect you to do most if not all of the work since my hands are tied while I’m a visiting guest here. But I’m happy to take them under my wing if you can’t even do that much. Sariel: “Kill them, or be forced to kill them,’ is it? (glances at the tied-up assassins) I wonder which one of us they would consider a fate worse than death.

10. LEON

Leon: (glares) I take it you only stuck me on here out of diplomatic courtesy. Gilbert: Haha, maybe. But there’s something about you that’s always reminded me of someone I know. Leon: Whoever it is, I feel bad for the guy. Gilbert: (bittersweet smile) You might be right. Maybe I need to do better by him…

11. LICHT

Licht: Do I know you? Gilbert: I was wondering the same thing, to be honest. But I’ve seen you around the palace enough times that I figured I might as well throw you on here. Gilbert: Nice eyes by the way, hehe. Licht: Oh no you don’t. My only family is Nokto.

12. NOKTO

Gilbert: Oh. There are two of you. Must be nice having an identical twin. (Resting his chin in his hand) Do you two switch places a lot? Nokto: You never noticed before today? Never received a report from one of your spies about it? Gilbert: Oh no, what sort of boring activities do you think I have my spies do all day? Nokto: Well, for starters, you sure seem to have paranormal insight into the contents of our kitchen at any given moment. Gilbert: So you'd rather I left all the carrots where they are? Nokto: ...

...

.......

................

Yves: Prince Gilbert!

Gilbert: (stops but doesn’t turn around)

Yves: I saw your list, and I couldn’t help but notice—

Gilbert: No, I believe you noticed everything you were meant to.

Gilbert: (leaves to go find the little rabbit to fix his bad mood)

[sarnai4]

Expectation Subversion

Penguins of Madagascar has some of my favorite examples of subverting expectations for personalities. They also gave me something that I try to use when creating my own characters. It seems like the characters can easily fit into a one-dimensional stereotype, but then there's more. Let's start off with Rico.

At first glance, Rico is just a loose cannon. In lesser shows, he might have been. After all, he just needs to be the silly one who spits up weapons and sure, he is, but that's not all. Rico is also fiercely loyal. He's the same one who was terrified of a "haunted" car and still braved it head-on when it had hurt Skipper. Comically enough, he can just as easily turn on the others when Ms. Perky wants him to do something else (cue Rico attacking them because of that darn voice box). An underrated skill of Rico's is how resourceful he is. He always knows exactly what weapon is necessary for the moment. With these skills, his loyalty, and his fun/unhinged flair, he really comes to life as a character.

Private is seemingly just the nice guy of the group. He's the young one who's innocent. Again, this is a part of him. He is very nice, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings like when he was supposed to win a rude-off against Clemson. He's also pretty naive with a lot of things, being unsuspecting about Hans actually being bad. Despite this, there's more to Private than niceness. He's got the most common sense of the group, being the only one to see that grabbing the plant needed to save Maurice's life would be easier than continuing to use the jaws of life AND realizing how unlikely it was that Santa was spending Christmas Eve in a random building. I also love how he's got a backstory of being this almost ruthless mini golf player. His underrated skill is that he's the second best fighter of the group. Solely looking at fin-to-fin combat, Private is the only one who's been on par with Skipper.

Kowalski could have just been the "science nerd." He definitely has this as a core part of him, but he's also such a drama queen. I love it. He's the poster boy for book smarts because this penguin has a score of 0 for practical reasoning. Heck, he had to figure out which instincts to use. His struggles with this leads to him continuously making inventions that almost kill everybody. Kowalski is always an invention away from turning into a mad scientist. I'm convinced this actually has happened before and then he just snaps back to his senses (thinking about times like Jiggles and more). Something else which adds an interesting layer to him is how much he wants to be in charge. He's technically the second-in-command and has made it clear that he'd like to replace Skipper when the time comes. "Kowalski's log...too soon?"

Skipper seems like he's just the tough boss. In a comedy like this, he easily could've been an incompetent leader. Rather than that, he's honestly a very good leader who is clever with his plans. Seriously, his escape plans shown in Pets Peeved and more episodes really demonstrate how thoroughly he can think out a strategy even when he's on the spot. Along with this, Skipper tries to act hard and rough, but he makes it clear that he cares about his team more than anything. He even faced his fear of needles (this show singlehandedly taught me what trypanophobia was) for Private when he learned that the soldier would've been hurt otherwise. It even stretches beyond them. Skipper really cares about everyone in the zoo, going so far as to look out for Julien who is probably one of his least favorite zoo mates. I also really like how much being a leader means to Skipper. When he thought he couldn't be in charge anymore, he was having a meltdown. He even put Private as leader just so that he could make it clear who actually deserves the position. It's so petty, that it's almost beautiful.

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

TAKE CARE OF YOU [2]

Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Overall Warnings: slow burn, angst/comfort, power imbalance, age gap, possessive tendencies, eventual smut, #daddyissues, independent reader learns to let go and relax, emotionally constipated Joel Miller learns to be vulnerable; (more specific warnings to be added to individual chapters if necessary)

Chapter Word Count: 7,029

Summary: You spent your entire adult life supporting yourself and barely getting by. It’s why a life of ease offered to you by a mysterious stranger sounded so foreign and unbelievable. Joel Miller, dressed in flannels that had seen better days, didn’t look like the kind who could promise you the world on a plate, but he seemed desperate to help out. All he asks is that you let him take care of you. That wouldn’t be so hard. Would it?

[a/n: i am having too much fun with this, my mind is going wild]

02: HE'S LOADED, BABE

"take a chance. risk everything. be honest. jump. go for it. be all in. why not. or why do anything at all." -jacob holguin

For the first time, maybe ever, you were the one with the insane story to share with Nima. You were actually kind of excited. When you texted her, she said she was still in the office and she told you to swing by because she wasn’t too busy. This wasn’t the first time you had been to her office, but you found it amusing every single time. The rest of the floor had the button down kind of look one would expect of a workplace, but Nima’s little corner was decorated in bright colors. It was a testament to her skill really. If you were indispensable then you could push boundaries.

“Hey!” Nima bounced when she saw you walking toward her office. You stepped in and dropped onto the couch she had pushed up against the wall. “I’m so glad you’re here. I have the craziest story.” Nima was rushing around the room putting away papers and blueprints. Her space was always poorly organized in your opinion, but according to her everything had its place. “It involves a loose chicken, a gallon of paint, and that asshole from the third floor I was telling you about.”

Unable to hold it in, you blurted it out. “I got asked to be a sugar baby.”

Nima blinked for a moment, dazed, then screeched in shock as she threw herself down onto the couch beside you. “Holy shit, what?? And you let me waste time talking about the chicken?” You did want to eventually hear about that. “Tell me everything.”

“You remember that guy I bought a coffee for like two weeks back?”

“Yes!” Nima gasped and you nodded. “Oh my God! I told you I felt sparks.” She paused. “Wait, can he afford to be a sugar daddy? He looked like a homeless cowboy when we saw him.”

You pointed to her. “So, are you thinking ‘cowboy’ too? Because I have been going back and forth between that and lumberjack, but I haven’t⏤”

“If you don’t give me more details right now...”

“Sorry.” You chuckled. You gave her the shorthand version of how he had been visiting you at the bakery and how it ended with him offering to ‘take care of you’ this afternoon. Nima just stared, mouth agape, the entire time. You finished by telling her that he had asked you to meet him this weekend. “So… yeah. Yeah.” You shot her a sheepish smile and just repeated yourself. “Yeah.”

Nima clapped her hands, excited, but you watched as she steeled her features. She shifted so she faced you entirely on the couch. “Wait. You’re always the voice of logic when I get myself into something insane. My turn.” She cleared her throat. “Are you sure you’re willing to basically fuck a stranger for all this? That’s not you.”

You twisted your lips at her words. Was it so out of the question for you to go out on a limb and put yourself out there? Granted, jumping from the vanilla lifestyle you lived to having sex with someone so they’d pay your bills was like going from 0 to 120 in a racecar⏤ or rocket.

As if Nima could see your inner turmoil, she pointed at you. “No, no. Don’t misunderstand. It’s not that I think you aren’t capable of making that decision and going for it. However, up until now you’ve been the serious relationship kind, and your last relationship was almost six months ago.” True. “Plus, you like monogamy. There is no guarantee that would occur here. What if he has multiple sugar babies? And⏤”

“It doesn't matter.” You blurted. You realized then that maybe you weren’t prepared to consider all those angles. You still hadn’t even gone on another date since your last boyfriend. “He doesn’t want sex.” Nima tilted her head in confusion. “The deal is he ‘takes care of me’ and I offer him platonic companionship. Be his date at some of his work functions⏤ no strings attached.”

Nima scoffed. “Girl, then what the fuck are you waiting for?? Say yes right now!”

“Well,” You laughed, “There’s a lot to consider.”

“No. The only thing to consider was sex and if that is off the table? Done.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Somehow, I don’t think a sugar baby and sugar daddy contract is⏤ Jesus, I can’t believe I’m saying these words.” You blew out a breath. “Anyways, I don’t think it’s that simple.”

Nima paused in thought. Her fingers drummed against her thigh for a few seconds before her face lit up with a bright smile. “We’re going out to dinner.” Nima jumped up to grab her phone and dialed a number. “My cousin has a friend who has a sister who knows all about this stuff.”

You mentally tried to follow the line of relation that Nima drew out, but you didn’t have the time to question her before she started talking on the phone in Korean. There was no telling what your evening would have in store, Nima knew an odd collection of people, but you assume anything would be helpful right now.

The restaurant you and Nima traveled to in order to meet this mystery woman was the definition of upper class. It was the kind of place you wouldn’t even stop outside of in fear that they’d call the cops on you for loitering. You especially didn’t feel prepared to walk in right now in your work clothes⏤ simple jeans and a plain shirt. At least the apron was removable. When you walked in you were fairly certain the man working as the host was going to throw you out. However, all it took was name dropping the person you were supposed to meet and the host led you back. He gave both of you disgusted looks the entire time, but he still took you back.

As he turned to leave, Nima flipped him off from behind and you quickly grabbed her arm to bring it down. You hissed at her. “We’re already on thin ice.” The table was in a private room. “Who is this?”

“Rosalind Turby.”

“Yeah, you’ve already told me the name, but who is this Rosalind lady?”

Nima shrugged. “All I know is her sister owes my cousin a favor so we’re cashing that shit in.”

You shrugged and the two of you entered the private room. It was elegantly decorated with florals and crystals. An odd combination in your opinion. The table in the middle of the room was covered in a white tablecloth set for three. A beautiful woman sat there on her phone, but she peered up at your entrance and a brilliant smile filled her features.

She stood up, “Hello, girlies!” Rosalind motioned for the two of you to join her. She was probably in her mid to late thirties if you had to guess. Her blonde hair was nearly platinum and fell past her shoulders in beautiful, perfect curls. Right now she had on a tight light blue dress with jewelry dripping from her neck and wrists⏤ all diamonds. Were those real?? She didn’t seem to bat an eye at the clothes you and Nima were wearing. “It’s so lovely to meet you two. I’m Rosalind.”

You both introduced yourselves before sitting down. Nima was quick to grab the wine bottle sitting on the table and began to pour. You resisted the urge to nudge her with your elbow. Rosalind rang a little silver bell sitting on the table and you nearly laughed at the sight of it until a waiter swept in. She ordered something for the group. At least that’s what you assumed based on the way she motioned to the table. It was hard to say considering she was speaking French.

Rosalind finished and focused back on you and Nima who were just staring at her in shock. She laced her fingers together and leaned forward. “So, I hear one of you girls is thinking of becoming a sugar baby.” Nima immediately pointed at you and you sheepishly raised a hand. “That’s so cute. What makes you want to branch into my world?”

“Oh.” You blinked. “You were⏤ are a sugar baby?”

Rosalind nodded and flipped some hair over her shoulder. “Have been since I was 23.”

“Holy shit.” Nima hissed at you. “Is this gonna be your life?”

You lightly smacked her thigh with the back of your hand. No. Of course not. This wasn’t⏤ Nah. Well… Was this going to be your life if you said yes? You couldn’t picture yourself sitting where Rosalind was right now. She had an air of natural elegance. There was no way a restaurant host ever shot her bad looks. 

Rosalind chuckled. “Well?”

“Uh,” You had briefly forgotten her question, “I’m not sure. A man…propositioned me and I have a couple days before he expects an answer from me.”

“You must be thinking it over seriously to involve me.”

“I hope we’re not bothering you.” You blurted. “We’re strangers but⏤”

Rosalind waved her hand with a laugh that reminded you of tinkling bells. Where had this woman come from? Was she made in some ‘perfect woman’ factory? She shook her head. “Please. I’m always eager to help the new girls enter this world of ours. We’re a tight knit group.”

“Really? There’s a community of… sugar babies?”

“Why of course!” Rosalind scoffed playfully. “We have to look out for one another after all.” She reached across the table to squeeze your hand. “So ask me all the questions you might have, sweetie.”

You glanced at Nima who just shrugged before tossing back the rest of her wine. “Um,” You smiled at Rosalind, “Have you had the same…uh, the same⏤”

“Daddy?” Rosalind chuckled and your cheeks burned. “You’re going to need to be comfortable calling him ‘daddy’. There’s no shame in it.” She shook her head. “And no. I’ve had seven so far.” Seven? It sounded like this woman had made an actual career of this lifestyle. That was impressive. Maybe she was the perfect person to ask questions to. “That’s a conversation for another day though. Let’s just focus on your first daddy.”

You chuckled, “Yeah, right. Well, how does it…work? He just said he wants to take care of me and that seems…vague.”

“It’s subjective usually.” Rosalind began. Waiters came in with trays of food and Nima rubbed her hands together in excitement. “If your contract with him is the basic kind then he pays for you to live. Rent, bills, expenses. Not to mention toys and gifts and all the fun kind of goodies.” She scrunched her nose like she was sharing an exciting secret. “And in return, you give him your lovely company.”

You knew exactly what she meant by company.

“You said contract?”

Rosalind nodded. “If your daddy truly has the kind of funds to really take care of you then he’ll push for a contract. This is your opportunity to set firm boundaries. The last thing you’d want is for him to get a piece of you just to toss you aside. Or worse, you get used to this kind of lifestyle just for him to suddenly change his terms and hang it over your head.” She sighed. “I’ve truly heard all the horror stories.”

“Horror stories?”

“Yes. This kind of relationship is built on trust, but not all those who get involved are deserving. You need to make sure the daddy trying to buy you isn’t going to take advantage or hurt you.” You winced both at the idea of being abused and the wording of her statement. Is that what this was? You were being bought? If she noticed your discomfort she didn’t mention it. Rosalind took a sip of her own wine. “How long have you known your daddy⏤”

“He’s not my daddy.” You blurted. 

“Yet.” Rosalind winked. Your cheeks burned again and you tried to imagine what it’d feel like calling Joel that. Could he even take you seriously? Someone like Rosalind using that phrase sounded tempting and sweet. You, in comparison, were just awkward. “So? How long? And has he mentioned any contract details?”

Nima chimed in, “Like two weeks-ish?” You nodded. “Would he even want a contract? That’s for just the super rich guys, right?”

“Typically.” Rosalind nodded. “Here. What’s his name?” Your eyes widened at the question. “If he’s been a daddy before I’ll know him. As I said, we’re a close knit community. We even keep a track of the men who are black listed. I’ll be able to tell you if he's a danger as well.”

Oh, that was helpful.

“Joel Miller.” You smiled. Rosalind’s smile fell right off her face, jaw popping open, and Nima spat out a mouthful of red wine. It splattered and stained the white tablecloth. Your eyes darted between them as they just stared at you. “What?”

“You never told me Mr. Miller wants to be your sugar daddy!” Nima cried.

“You were there the day I met him! And how do you even know him?” You asked.

Nima gaped at you like a fish out of water. “He owns the construction company that hired my office! I’ve never seen him, except in like a few pictures, but Mr. Miller was never wearing flannel in any of those photos. I seriously thought he might be homeless the day we met him.”

“Construction company?” You breathed.

Rosalind cleared her throat before taking a long sip of her wine. Her smile returned, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Wow. I knew Joel Miller was on the market, but I wasn't aware he had chosen someone. And someone brand new for his first one.”

“I’d be his first too?” You asked. The knowledge that this was as new to him as it was to you actually made you feel much better. Maybe that was why he had been so nervous this afternoon. This was the first time he had ever offered that proposition. 

“Yes.”

Nima let out a laugh before shaking your shoulder, “He’s loaded, babe.”

“That’s a good description.” Rosalind chuckled. You were able to ask a few more questions, but about ten minutes later she glanced at her phone and then rose from the table. “I am so sorry, girlies. But I’m needed elsewhere.”

“Oh, well thank you for⏤”

She said your name in a sickly sweet tone while picking up her purse. You didn’t recognize the brand, but you knew it was probably just as expensive as everything else she wore. “I’m only saying this out of concern for you. Being a sugar baby can be very demanding and you seem to be jumping in the deep end.” Your eyes widened. “There’s a reason we all refer to Joel Miller as the ‘white whale’. He’s the dream daddy, but typically men with those kinds of means want the most. I’d hate to see you get hurt.”

“Thank…you?”

“Absolutely, sweetie.” She blew you and Nima a kiss before heading for the door. “So nice to meet you two!”

 Nima and you just watched her leave before turning to one another. You furrowed your brow. “That was kind of weird, wasn’t it? I thought it was going good, but…”

“I think she was jealous.” Nima replied. You rolled your eyes. “No, seriously.”

“Did you see her? The Rosalinds of the world do not get jealous over people like me.”

Nima scoffed. She motioned to you with her wine glass, “First of all, you’re a fucking catch. I’ve been telling you that for years and now you have proof beyond my genius because Joel Miller wants you to call him daddy.”

“That’s still weird to hear…”

“And secondly,” Nima continued on, “That warning she gave? That was a ‘I don’t want you to go through with this because I wish it were me instead’ kind of warning.” You leaned your head to rest it on the top of the chair’s back. As weird as this meeting had gone, it had been helpful. You learned a lot of things. “So? Are you gonna meet up with him?”

You blew out a sigh, “I’m still not sure.”

“Here.” Nima spun in her seat to face you. “Yes or no only. Got it?”

“Yes.”

“Do you like Joel Miller?”

 He was fun to talk to. You enjoyed the moments you got with him in the bakery. So, technically, you did. “Yes.”

“Do you think Joel Miller would physically hurt you if you just met up with him on Saturday?”

You never got that vibe from him before and if you met him in a public setting he wouldn’t be much of a danger to you. “No.”

“Do you want to explore this possibility a little further?”

“Yes.”

The answer came out easily enough. You weren’t ready to give a firm ‘no’ quite yet which almost felt odd. You weren’t used to relying on others for your needs. The idea of taking your hands off the wheel and letting someone else take control was daunting. However, the idea of not having to stress over bills or rent or finding a second job you didn’t love just to get by was very, very tempting. God, you just wanted a break.

“I think that’s your answer.” Nima shrugged. “Meet up with him on Saturday. You don’t have to necessarily say yes to him just because you met with him. This will just be a mission for further information.”

“Alright. Yeah.” You grinned and picked up your wine glass. “What the hell, right?”

“Exactly!” Nima cheered and the two of you clinked your glasses together before taking long sips. 

You glanced around the room and at the table. “Do you think Rosalind paid for this before she left?”

Nima nodded her head in thought. Then she poured more into her glass and tossed back the large gulp of red wine before she jumped up. “Wanna make a run for it?”

“Absolutely.” You grabbed your stuff and the two of you hurried off.

It took you over an hour to get dressed, and it was embarrassing how many outfit changes you had gone through. You almost googled ‘What to wear when meeting your sugar daddy to discuss terms’, but decided that would just stress you out more. After your dinner with Rosalind you had called Joel, a feat that was painfully nerve wracking for no good reason, and you both planned to meet up at the coffee shop where you had bought him that coffee. A public setting seemed like the best bet for you, and Joel was more than happy to accommodate. You almost suggested the bakery, but considering how empty it was these days you didn’t know if it actually counted as public.

You had shown up early, still not entirely loving the clothes you chose for this event, and now you were nursing a cup of iced coffee⏤ chewing on the straw nervously. The notes app on your phone had a bullet list of points you wanted to bring up, ask about, and you scanned through them for the hundredth time. Every single bullet point was burned in your brain, but you had a feeling the moment you saw Joel it would all disappear. You jumped in surprise when your phone buzzed as a call from Joel came through.

“Shit.” You breathed and watched it ring twice more before answering it. “Hey!”

The greeting left your lips loud and excited and you mentally cursed yourself for blurting it out like that. Jesus Christ you were overthinking this.

“Hey, darlin’.” Joel replied. Somehow his voice sounded even more charming through a phone which you found entirely unfair. “I hate to do this so last minute, but I’m not gonna make it to the coffee shop. A work meeting got outta hand, but…” He grumbled. “That doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.”

You twisted your lips and found yourself actually disappointed. “Oh. No, that’s alright. It happens. Do you want to reschedule for a different day or⏤”

“What? No.” Joel replied quickly. “This is important. I wanna talk to you about this today. Plus, I’d hate for you to get cold feet.” You chuckled at the irony because you kind of thought he was the one getting cold feet. “Can you meet me at my office? We can stay down in the lobby or courtyard, or in the cafe, so it’s still public.”

“Sure!” You chirped. “Uh, what’s the address? I’ll uber⏤”

Joel actually laughed at the word ‘uber’ and you just smiled more confused than anything else. He spoke up before you could question the joke. “I’m not gonna make you order a ride to my office, darlin’. I’m sending a car.” Your eyes widened. That was a wild sentence to hear out of his mouth, but you supposed that was par for the course. “Are you at the coffee shop right now?”

“Yes.” You glanced around as if you needed to double check. “But are you sure, Joel? You really don’t have to⏤”

“I want to.” Joel said firmly. “I’m, uh, I’m excited to see you.” Your cheeks burned at the admission. “Even if you’re just comin’ to tell me off it’d be a nice break from my day today.” The sigh at the end of his sentence made it clear he was stressed or frustrated about something. “I’m sending my driver now. Should be ten minutes or so.”

“Got it.” You cleared your throat. “I’ll… see you soon then, Joel.”

“See you soon, darlin’.” He chuckled.

You hung up and just stood there for a second. He was sending a car. A car that would take you to his office of the very successful company he owns. One of the plus sides of meeting Joel in the coffee shop was that it’d feel like equal ground. However, you knew this was something you needed to get used to. You had already decided that you would be accepting his proposition as long as nothing crazy happened during this meeting.

You’d be stupid to turn it down, right?

Before you could turn and go wait outside, you paused in thought then made the decision to buy him a cup of coffee. You still remembered what he ordered the last time, and maybe it’d cheer him up a little. This meeting would go better if he was in a good mood rather than stressed about work, you figured. After buying the coffee, you only had to wait outside a minute or two before a very nice black sedan pulled up to the curb. Was that for you?

A man exited the car and came around to open the back door. He made eye contact with you and called out your name. “Oh.” You waved. “Hi, yeah. That’s me.” Obviously, he knew that. You hurried over and climbed into a car with a stranger. The thing every adult told you not to do while growing up. When the driver got back behind the wheel, you spoke up. “Thank you.”

The driver didn’t speak to you during the drive, but you weren’t sure of the etiquette of these things. There were some Uber drivers that hated it when you spoke up to them. Maybe this was the same. The car pulled up to the curb after fighting traffic and you peered out of your window to the large, very impressive building right outside your door. It was at least seven stories, but it was wider than it was tall and built with a steel and glass design. The campus surrounding it was also gorgeous with an expansive courtyard that seemed to roll right into a park next door.

“Holy shit.” You breathed.

You were so distracted by the landscape that you didn’t notice the man in an expensive looking suit approaching the car. It took even longer for you to realize that man was Joel Miller. He reached out to open the door and you sat stunned as he leaned against it

“Hey there, darlin’.” Joel greeted with a small smile. Up until now, you had only seen him in flannels and t-shirts, but by God did this man know how to wear a suit. The one he had on was a dark navy with a clean white button up. If he had on a tie before he had shed it because the top couple buttons were undone. His hair was combed back neatly and though it was still a good look for him, it made you miss his fluffed up, messy curls. His head tilted a bit, amusement filling his dark eyes, “Darlin’?”

It dawned on you that you had yet to speak. Panicked, you held up the drink you had bought for him. “Coffee.”

“Yes. That is.” Joel chuckled. He held a hand out for you to take.

When your hand settled in his, he carefully pulled you out of the car and shut the door behind you. Joel leaned over to nod his head to the driver in thanks before turning back to you. You cleared your throat and held the coffee up once more. “Yours. It’s⏤ I got it for you. It’s the same one as last time.” Joel’s eyes widened in surprise. “You just sounded stressed so I thought coffee might help.”

“Well, ain’t you a sweetheart?” Joel replied with a growing smile. He took the cup from you then shook his head. “You should know this is a one time thing though.” You raised an eyebrow in question. Joel chuckled. “The point of this is,” He motioned between the two of you with the hand holding the cup of coffee, “I’m supposed to be buyin’ you stuff.”

You chewed on your lower lip and tried to find your bearings. “It felt weird coming with nothing to offer you.”

“All I need is your company. Thought I made that clear?” He countered.

“Still.” You shrugged. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“Fine. That just means you can’t argue against the things I bought you for this meetin’.

You blinked. “The what?” 

Joel didn’t respond. Instead, he held out one elbow in your direction and after a beat you slipped your arm through his. He led you across the campus and you couldn’t keep yourself from glancing over at him. Joel looked like an entirely different person, but when he spoke he still felt like the man you spoke to over a bakery counter. 

“How’s your day been so far, darlin’?”

“Good! Just, you know, normal.” You were not going to mention that you spent your entire morning just mentally and physically preparing for this meeting. “What about you? You sounded kind of frustrated over the phone.” Joel glanced down at you and you shook your head. “Not that you need to tell me if it’s personal or about your company. Obviously.”

Joel let out a breathy laugh. “Am I makin’ you nervous?”

Not wanting to lie, you scrunched your nose and just blurted out the truth. “A little. I guess I’m not used to seeing you like this and your company building is so fancy and I also think I’m starting to overthink this again. Don’t get me wrong I’m excited to see you, but…” Joel’s small smile remained as he listened to you ramble. “I should shut up now.”

“I’d rather you not.” Joel shrugged. “You have a nice voice.” 

Your face felt warm, a habit around this man you were learning, and he led you into the lobby of the building. It was just as pretty inside as it was outside. Open, filled with natural light, and decorated with glass panels and shades of soft green and blue. Eyes drifted to Joel, but he didn’t seem to pay any attention to it. He walked you up to the second floor where a small cafe-like area sat in the corner by the window giving a view of the park. Even more people seemed to stare as he pulled a chair out for you to sit in before sitting across from you. The other surrounding tables had what looked like workers on their lunch break.

“Anythin’ I can do to make you less nervous?” Joel asked. He took a sip from the coffee you got him. It was funny he asked because this was somehow more intimidating than just walking arm in arm. Now, across from him, you needed to maintain eye contact. 

You hummed and crossed your arms to rest on the table. “Tell me something embarrassing that will humanize you to me.”

“Embarassin’...” Joel hummed in thought. He laced his fingers together and nodded. “In college, I tried to serenade a girl I wanted to date with my guitar but I was under the wrong window and an old woman opened the window to dump a bucket of water on me. Then she called the cops.”

You grinned. “Nice. Except all I heard from that is ‘you are a romantic who can play the guitar’ so that only makes you more attractive and intimidating to me.”

“I’m attractive to you?” Joel smirked.

“I also said ‘intimidating’.” You replied then motioned to yourself. “This exercise was to make you less so and somehow I embarrassed myself even more? That does not seem fair.”

Joel shrugged, “If it makes you feel better I think it’s cute.” A stupid smile slipped onto your features and you shook your head with a small laugh. He leaned forward a bit and furrowed his brow. “I will admit though I have been dyin’ to hear your answer from the other day.” You sucked in a sharp breath. Joel’s lips twitched up once more. “So? Am I a cowboy or a lumberjack?”

Not expecting the question broke out in a laugh of surprise. Admittedly, it put your nerves at ease. You relaxed in your seat with a grin. “I actually do have an answer for you. I think I’ve settled on cowboy.” Joel’s eyebrows raised. “My friend helped me decide. She called you a cowboy too. Although, she also called you homeless.”

Joel chuckled. “Homeless?”

“You looked worse for wear when we first saw you that one day.” You shook your head. “But look at you now! You clean up well, Joel Miller. Owner of Miller Construction Company. Actual multi-millionaire.”

He bobbed his head with a slight wince. Joel rubbed the side of his jaw sheepishly, “I see you did your research.”

“A bit.” You answered. “I actually, uh, met with a…sugar baby.” Joel’s eyes widened and you wondered if it was because it was the first time one of you finally used the term ‘sugar baby’ in conversation or because you had met with one to interview. Maybe both. “I needed to ask her a few questions. You were infamous, by the way.”

“Infamous?”

You let out a small laugh. “Oh, yeah. Apparently every single sugar baby in LA, of which there is a community if you didn't know, wants you as their ‘daddy’.” Joel cleared his throat, shifting in his seat, and you could see a tint of blush across his cheeks. It made your smile widen. “They call you the ‘white whale’.”

“Jesus Christ.” Joel ran a hand through his hair, making it a bit messier which you found you enjoyed seeing, and he blew out a breath. “I told ‘em not to make such a big deal of it.” Amused, you leaned forward and rested your head on a fist making it clear you were waiting for elaboration. Joel chuckled. “I mentioned my… idea to an old friend, and he got me in touch with this group.” He raised an exasperated eyebrow and waved his hand. “Apparently that group. They, uh, they made me go on… dates.”

“Made you?” You teased. “Like at gunpoint?”

Joel shrugged. “May as well have been.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “That day I forgot my wallet? I had just met a bunch of different women who were…interested in being…”

“Your sugar baby?” You grinned.

“You’re enjoyin’ this a little too much.” Joel crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at you. “I think I liked it better when you were ramblin’ ‘bout how handsome I am.”

You held up a finger. “Hold up. I didn’t ramble about how handsome you are. I just said I found you attractive.” Joel smirked and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. “And also, when my friend and I saw you that day you were wearing a dirty flannel and old jeans.”

“Yeah. So?”

“So you went on a bunch of dates with women wanting to be your sugar baby, looking like that?”

Joel shrugged. “I was just tryin’ to be real. Hate these damned things.” He readjusted his suit blazer. “I thought it’d be best to show up how I usually look. Find someone who had similar ideals. I also took them to a diner to eat.” You covered your mouth, trying to hide the wide grin you were wearing. Joel shook his head. “What?”

“It’s just… You’re telling me that on all those dates with women who wanted to specifically be your sugar baby,” You said slowly trying to bite back a laugh, “You wanted to find someone who wasn’t in it for the money.”

Joel paused in thought before his face cracked in amusement. His cheeks tinted pink again and he forced his gaze away from yours with an embarrassed wince. “When you say it like that…”

“That’s adorable.” You nodded.

“I think I preferred the word handsome.”

“Never used that one.”

“Attractive then.”

“Nah,” You leaned back in your seat with a shrug, “I think I’ve settled on adorable.”

Joel clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “Alright. Guess I’ll take what I can get.” The sound of a phone buzzing cut through the air and you watched as Joel leaned back to pull his cellphone out of his pocket. “One second, darlin’.” He frowned at whatever message he was reading on his screen. It was interesting to watch the lighthearted smile he had been wearing switch to a grumpy frown. He grunted out a sound of irritation before shoving his phone back into his pocket with a shake of his head. When his eyes met yours once more, the frustration melted back into a small smile. “Sorry 'bout that.”

“Don’t worry. You’re a busy man. Running a company and all.” You held your arms up to motion to the building you now sat in. Joel chuckled, and you shifted in your seat. It was now or never. He really was a busy guy. Couldn’t beat around the bush forever. “So… should we talk about the proposition?”

Joel shrugged. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Well, we can’t sit here just joking around forever. You have work to do, right?”

“No.” Joel shook his head. “You’re in control of this conversation, and as far as I’m concerned if you wanna sit here and chat for the next few hours I’m more than happy to do just that.”

A warm sense of reassurance filled your chest and you nodded. “Thank you, but I think I’m ready to talk about it.” You held up your phone. “I even made bullet points.”

“Very organized. Better than half the people who work for me today.” Joel joked.

You took in a slow breath and then held a hand out to concede the next talking point to him. “Tell me your proposition.”

“Sure.” Joel laced his fingers together again and rested it on the table in front of him with a professional nod. “I wanna take care of you, darlin’. Every resource I have is at your disposal. I don’t want you worryin’ about bills or rent or any sort of money issue you might normally face.” You tried not to show any surprise. You obviously knew all of that, but hearing him say it again in this setting felt different. “All I ask in return is your platonic companionship, and you on my arm at a few company conferences and functions.” Joel offered you a reassuring smile. “I just like talkin’ to you is all, darlin’.”

You bobbed your head in understanding and searched for what you wanted to say. Unable to grasp a single word you held up a finger and opened your phone to find your bullet points. You heard Joel chuckle. “By platonic companionship, can you be more specific? Is there some kind of quota I have to meet weekly?”

“No, darlin’. It ain’t that formal.” Joel replied. “And as for specifics? Uh, I figure just phone calls. Texting, maybe? In the evenings we could meet up sometimes and have dinner?” As he answered your question you were reminded that you were his first sugar baby. It made you feel better that he was apparently as nervous and confused as you. “I figure we can puzzle it out as we go?”

“Got it.” You nodded. “My next question,” You glanced down at your phone then back up, “Just to absolutely clarify, there is no expectation for anything…” You leaned forward and lowered your voice, “Sexual?”

“Exactly. I never want you to feel uncomfortable around me, darlin’.” Joel said firmly. “All I’m askin’ for is,” He pointed down toward the table as if to make his point, “This right here. Just chattin’.”

“Really?” You asked in surprise. “That’s it?"

“Yeah.”

“You’re offering me a life of ease, the world on a platter, and all you want from me is to chat?”

Joel shook his head and leaned forward. “What I want is to take care of you. I wanna watch you enjoy life instead of constantly workin’ and stressin’. Along with your presence, that’s the reward I’m gettin’.” 

“Oh, okay.” You bit down on your lower lip in thought. It really did seem too good to be true. A different question came to mind, a kind of embarrassing one, but it was probably best to clarify it now at the start of this. You settled your face between your hands and nervously asked. “Am I still allowed to flirt with you?” Joel’s eyes widened in surprise, but they filled with interest. “It’s just, sometimes at the bakery…” Half the fun of talking to him was getting to flirt with him. “I mean, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable either.”

Joel shook as he let out a quiet laugh. “You really don’t have to worry about that, darlin’.” His cheeks were flushed, but he kept his charming voice confident and firm as he winked. “If you wanna flirt with an old man like me, I won’t complain.”

“Alright, and you’ll match my energy?”

“Sure, darlin’.” He chuckled.

You wondered if he was fully aware of what he was signing up for. This meant you could say what you wanted without the stress of being pressured into something. Joel was a handsome man and the thrill of flirting with him was exciting. You lowered your hands from your face and rested them on the table.

“Hmm. Sounds like a plan then.” You nodded and decided to test the waters. You tried to force every awkward nerve out of your body and stayed confident. “Anything else we should clarify, daddy?”

It took all your strength not to laugh at the look of shock that flashed across his face or the color that filled his cheeks. Joel cleared his throat and straightened his posture before readjusting his suit’s blazer once more. A hoarse chuckle fell from his lips as delight filled his eyes, “You’re gonna be a bit of a brat, ain’t you sugar?”

“Me? Never.” You said with mocking emphasis. “Now, do we need a contract or something?”

“If it’d make you more comfortable we can make one.” Joel shook his head. “I have no preference.” You shrugged. Rosalind said he’d want one, but if he didn’t you saw no reason to press for one. Joel held a hand out across the table for you to shake. “So? This official then?”

You sucked in a breath then nodded and took his hand to shake. “Guess so.”

“Good.” Joel held your gaze and you felt hypnotized by him. He squeezed your hand once before pulling it back and reaching into his jacket. “I have some things for you then.” Your eyebrows raised surprised by how quick he had something prepared. “Here.”

Joel pulled a brand new iPhone from his inner coat pocket along with what looked like a credit card. A black American Express card to be more specific. He set both in your hands and your jaw fell open in shock. “This…What…I⏤”

“Your phone looks ancient.” Joel shrugged. You glanced down at your current phone. It was a few editions behind and the screen was cracked from where you had dropped it months ago, but it still worked. Usually. Joel tapped his finger against the card sitting on top of the phone that you had yet to pull back towards yourself. Your hand just sat open in the middle of the table. “I want you to use the card for anythin’ you might need during the week.”

“Like?” You pressed.

“I said anythin’, sugar.” Joel replied in a low voice and you sucked in a sharp breath. “That’s the point of this, remember?” You nodded dumbly and he slowly closed your fingers around the items then pushed your hand back towards your side of the table. “I also need you to send me the billing information for your rent, power, and water so I can get those covered. Can you do that for me?”

You gaped at him in shock and it widened Joel’s smirk. Seconds ago you had him in the palm of your hand with your ‘daddy’ comment, but now the tables were turned. It was occurring to you that having him pay for you to live your life meant actually accepting his money. 

“Sugar,” Joel leaned forward, still keeping his voice low in a hoarse whisper, “I asked if you could do that for me.”

“I, uh, yes, sir.” The honorific slipped your lips before you could catch it.

Joel raised an eyebrow at it before nodding once with a grin. “Good girl.”

Oh, boy, you were jumping headfirst into something here, and you had never been more eager for the leap.

taglist:

@weddingfairy @bfences @fairntonorth @jasminedragon @biwitchy @huffle-punk

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✨J.M. Masterlist✨

[theminecraftbee]

> check social links

(Which Social Link should I check on...?)

0 FOOL School Rescue Committee Should this really be an official school club? The group of Persona-users that I'm in now, whether I like it or not. At least I'm helping people by doing all this weird magic nonsense...

I MAGICIAN Scar A fellow Persona-user a year below me, although my senior in fighting Shadows. He's dragged me into his scam crystal-selling operation, which is actually weirdly fun.

II PRIESTESS Beef Pretty large and muscular for a priestess, but sure, I'll bite. A volunteer EMT who is trying to decide whether to follow his family's wishes for university.

III EMPRESS Gem A fellow Persona-user in my year. She wants me to help her study for entrance exams, apparently. Not sure why she's asking me, I missed an entire semester? But it's good enough study for me as well.

IV EMPEROR Impulse A fellow Persona-user in my year. He has a single-minded devotion to overworking himself, despite the fact he seems to be trying to prove it's fine for some reason.

V HIEROPHANT Xisuma An older man who hangs out in the local tea shop. Keeps trying to parent me for some reason, although it seems like his relationship with his actual family's a bit less good, so maybe that's why.

VI LOVERS Etho My lab partner. The whole school's obsessed with him for some reason. My only solace is that he seems to be just as disconcerted by that fact as I am.

VII CHARIOT Skizzleman A fellow Persona-user in my year, and my first friend in this town. I'm helping him find a part-time job. He's sort of ridiculously cheerful, but I know he understands me better than most people.

VIII JUSTICE Grian A fellow Persona-user a year below me, although my senior in fighting Shadows. Keeps dragging me into his pranks, although for such a gregarious guy, he's weirdly isolated.

IX HERMIT Joe Hills One of my teachers, and the head of the School Rescue Committee. He's, frankly, the most bizarre guy I know, and I don't know what to make of any of the "wisdom" he tries to impart on us.

X FORTUNE Tango Apparently, he's a bit of a prodigy in the robotics club, but he first came to me to confess he's considering quitting. I have no idea why this is my problem, but Impulse frowned at me about it, so here I am.

XI STRENGTH False A local martial artist who's been decorated with a number of titles. I just wanted her to teach me how to fight better, but apparently, she's starting to doubt her own fighting ability as well.

XII HANGED MAN Jimmy Igor's assistant in the Velvet Room. He's a bit of an idiot, but he's also my idiot. Mostly wants to request I escort him to places in the human world, although he wants specific fusions sometimes too.

XIII DEATH Cleo A "florist" in town who can source us weapons and fence goods from Altered Space. I'm pretty sure she's actually Yakuza, or at least criminal. She and Joe know each other, although strangely, she doesn't seem to remember from where.

XIV TEMPERANCE Iskall and Stress Two priests at the local shrine. I work for them occasionally to help them with odd jobs around town. They share some common past they don't like to talk about.

XV DEVIL Ren The student council president. He's bizarrely mad with power on a good day, which is weird, because he's also bizarrely kickable on a good day. Keeps on trying to rope me into the Student Council.

XVI TOWER Doc An inventor trying to invent a safe new clean energy source. According to rumors, his last try exploded, killing his lab partner, which constantly makes me question why I'm here.

XVII STAR Zedaph Proprietor of the famous local "Mystery Stir Fry Extravaganza". Frankly, his creations terrify me more than Doc's do. I have no idea why this is Impulse's favorite restaurant.

XVIII MOON Mumbo A fellow Persona-user in the year below me. Apparently, he still gets bullied a lot, but he has a scheme to, and I quote, 'learn to be something scary, like a horse.' Good luck with that, mate.

XIX SUN Pearl An artist that I've always admired. Recently, she was in a terrible car accident, and her hands now constantly shake because of it. I still think she can draw organic shapes better than me, though.

XX JUDGEMENT Soul Reappearance Committee Judgement. Hah. I guess you'd call this Judgement Day, sure.

XXI THE WORLD ... It's me.

[eustasskiddsprosthetic]

Lads, it's been such a long time since I've returned to my roots—Lu/Law/Lu and I'm happy to say I have an idea! I've read a thread discussing dilf Luffy and it reminded me of my own Dilf!Lulaw fic I wrote some time ago. I'm OBSESSED with Dilf Luffy so follow me.

Law and Luffy are childhood friends. Law babysits Luffy when they were 13 and 6 respectively and they get along. Law would teach Luffy about the anatomy of various small animals, showing him how to dissect (or pretty much butcher) any type of animal they could find and Luffy would watch, quietly and thoroughly intrigued.

When Luffy was 10 years old, he thought the 17 year old Law was just the coolest guy ever, apart from Ace and Sabo. Law's tall, super smart and his deep voice (whenever it doesn't crack) is super nice.

Sure, he's stuffy and a nerd but if Luffy throws enough rocks at Law's window, Law's the best guy to prank people with! He has backup plans after backup plans to get them both out of trouble. He one-ups Luffy's ideas in a non-condescending way. He's also super pretty when he laughs...

When Law's 20, he tells Luffy that he's moving overseas on some sort of scholarship to Japan. Luffy had no idea what Japan was but Ace and Sabo tell him it's a pretty country with plenty of food. Luffy made Law promise to take him there some day, and Law agreed to, figuring why not.

Sabo also tells Luffy to get his contact information and Law agreed, giving Luffy his phone number and social media handles in case he wanted to text.

And text, Luffy did!

"HEY TRAFFY!! I MISS YOU!!!!! HOW'S ANIME JAPAN!!"

[insert image] "This is my new dorm."

"looks boring lul :P"

"Not allowed to decorate too much, unfortunately. However, I have a roommate soon."

"ROOMIE!! WHO WHO WHO"

"My partner. I'm seeing someone atm."

"atm? wots that Traffy 0_0"

"It means 'at the moment'."

"Oh."

For some reason Luffy felt kind of sad. Maybe it's one of those emo spurts as he's growing up but Traffy never dated when they hung out. Did Traffy not tell him anything? That's upsetting.

"Who is it!!! They btr be nice to u >:("

"Don't worry about that. They're very kind to me. I'm looking for a nice picture to show you."

And Traffy sent Luffy a picture of the guy. It's a tall, buff guy with reddish-brown hair and a scruffy chin. Luffy felt his chin and realised he had a little stubble.

Luffy said that the guy looked plain when Ace walked past and asked what's up. Deep down though, Luffy was annoyed that he's actually quite good looking and that he's way older.

"Is there something wrong, Luffy?"

"wot"

"I don't know. You're the first person I told this to... Sorry, I didn't know you're not supportive."

"Support what"

"I like men, Luffy. I'm gay."

"0-0" Luffy thought of how to respond. A couple friends told him something similar before but he seriously didn't care. "is fine lol"

"Really?"

"YUP !! NO WORRIES HAHAHAHAHA I DIDNGT KNOW YOU HAD A BOYFIE WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME!!"

"I didn't know how you'd react." And then Traffy was seen typing for a few minutes. "Thank you for not dismissing me."

"!!!!"

They text on and off more from there. Indeed, it felt like when they were kids where Luffy would share whatever's on his mind with Traffy and Traffy would reply politely. They talked about whatever, sometimes deep things, sometimes lighter things but it's usually always fun.

Sometimes, Traffy would talk about his relationship with Drake, as Luffy learned his name later and for some reason, that's Luffy's least favourite subject.

Traffy was neither happy nor unhappy. He talked about him the same way Traffy talked about the weather in anime, Japan. Heck, Law probably liked Ace and Sabo more and they don't even talk!

Luffy didn't have the words or courage to ask whether Traffy really loved Drake and so he never talked about it. As he got older, he couldn't accept that Law—the coolest, nicest, raddest guy ever—would marry some guy.

Law invited Luffy to the wedding ceremony but Luffy couldn't go, partly because he had exams and mostly because he just refused to. Ace and Sabo were surprised to hear that but they eventually understood why.

Whenever Luffy pulled up Law's wedding pictures on their social medias, he would only pinch his fingers on the screen to zoom in on Law's barely smiling, kind of sad face. He'd pout and ask what made Drake so special...

They talk on and off but life got in the way for them.

Law's busy with his hectic job as a surgeon. Law's trying to take more time off social media to be more offline. Law's going to therapy and journalling more. Of course there's his marriage.

Luffy's life's developing nicely too. Luffy's busy with all his friends and being present for them. He's his brother's biggest cheerleaders in their respective sports teams. He's also trying to study a little bit more to do well enough to make it in college.

And so they stop texting for a day. And then a month. And then a year. And then a decade rolls by easily. It's as if they never met.

...

And now, Luffy's 40 and he settled into a nice suburban area as a single-pringle. His house became less of a home and more of a gathering space.

Ace and Sabo drive over to have wild cookouts with their respective partners and kids. Zoro and Sanji come over to drink alcohol. Nami and Usopp for movie dates. Franky gave Luffy a sexy ice cream machine. Robin and Chopper would come over to bird watch in Luffy's backyard. Brook would host charity concerns in his front yard for the children and Luffy let Jimbe tutor kids in his living room.

Life hadn't felt so full in a while. Luffy smiled at his framed pictures and thought, "Wah... I've made it."

One day, he heard some people move into the vacant house next door. After all, how could he not hear them? They were arguing so fucking loudly.

"Shut up, nerd! I do what I want to do!"

"If you're as smart as you say you are you'd be more careful! Those drums are expensive! Be nice to them!"

"They ain't your drums, shit head!"

"But I'm responsible!"

And then Luffy heard something fall down and it made this horrible noise. Enough! He said. He put on a shirt and walked outside. There, he saw the culprit of all that noise.

It's some big man, a guy as big as Luffy with flaming red hair and a permanent scowl. He turned to Luffy and said, "What's your fucking problem? Can't a guy move into his fucking house?"

Luffy hated his attitude—what's his problem!

"I asked ya a fucking question, dipshit."

"I don't like you, you're a jerk!"

"Oh, is that-"

"Shut up, Eustass!" Both Luffy and the guy turned their heads to face the balcony.

And Luffy gasped.

On the balcony, stood a tall man who moved gracefully like an ice prince. He wore a loose Sora the Warrior tee shirt, tucked into light jeans. He had piercings on his ears. His jawline was sharp.

"You're annoying me, Eustass. Hurry up."

"Shut up!"

The not-Eustass-guy turned to face Luffy when he realised Luffy was staring. It started with an apologetic look and then he looked cold, annoyed. Why was Luffy staring so much and so intensely? The man squinted as if that would help him. He frowned and put his glasses on. The man blinked rapidly, in complete disbelief.

"I-" Luffy broke into a large grin when the other man's coldness morphed to surprise. Slowly, he warmed up and there's this warm look in his eye that took Luffy back to when he asked Traffy a question about the frog he was dissecting in the woods for Luffy's entertainment.

No way. Luffy shook his head. NO FUCKING WAY.

He made a little sign and Luffy knew what it meant even years later. It meant that he promised that he'd be back. He kept his promise. About twenty minutes later, Luffy heard a knock on the door. He never sprinted this fast in his life.

"Hi-" And Luffy enveloped the guy in the biggest bear hug he had ever given. He's just so fucking happy! And then Luffy pulled away to actually see him for himself. He was always handsome but since when was he smoking hot? Tall, thin-hipped and slightly muscular.

He looked up at Luffy and his sharp, annoyed eyes softened with tender affection. OH YES WAY!

"Hello, as I was saying. It's been a while."

"Hell yeah! How've you been, Traffy!" It's nice to even say his name again! He felt like a little kid again! Traffy smiled indulgently when Luffy slapped his back.

"I'm alright, thank you."

Luffy saw that Traffy was fiddling with his ring finger and said so. Traffy noticed it too and apologised for the habit.

"I'm going through a divorce now. Eustass, being nice for once, offered to let me stay with him and his partner while I figure out what I want to do with myself. It'll take time for my dad to get that carpet installed in his new house nearby so here I am now to kill time."

"D-divorce?"

"We fell out of love, let's put it bluntly," Law said, now distant. "I found out he's been cheating on me."

"Oh." Luffy suddenly felt like that dumb thirteen year old who didn't know how to handle Law coming out to him. "That sucks."

"Yes, it indeed 'sucks'. I was so shocked I didn't even cry about it for a week when I found out last year."

There was the awkwardness of feeling like one of them did something terribly wrong. Law smiled tersely.

"Enough about that, I'm keeping my hands full with idiots who claim that they want to 'help me out'." Law laughed gently. "Some classmates from Anime, Japan are coming to visit for a few days next week. I wonder how they're doing."

Luffy smiled. His heart ached.

"What do you want to do, Traffy?"`

"Me?" Law gave it thought. He glanced to the side. "Well, first things first, I have to help Eustass over there move in."

"After that?"

"After?" Law blinked. "I'm not sure. Probably brush up on my Japanese. Why?"

Bright-eyed and a little bit scared, Luffy said, "Let's go out!"

"Huh?"

"It'll be fun!" Luffy was totally winging it. "We can get beef bowl at Sanji's place! Do you like camping, Traffy? Ace and Sabo set up a really cool fire place out back—why don't we fire that up later! How about ice cream? Robin made cheese cake too! It's super yummy!"

Law started laughing so much tears came out. Luffy thought with some sadness that Law wasn't done crying about his divorce.

"You haven't changed at all!" Law said, smiling widely. Luffy felt proud of himself for that much. He didn't realise how much of a hole Traffy left behind in his heart when they stopped contacting each other.

Life doesn't give second chances but maybe, just maybe...

"It's really nice seeing you again, Luffy. I... I've missed you. It's been a bit lonely these few months, so let's catch up, i-if you want."

Maybe Luffy could finally show Traffy just how much he loved him...