I watched cr abridged and got to the ep where Gus and Olly were introduced.. There has to be a way to involve them in what's about to go down lol, I miss them!
welcome to a segment i like to call "are they/arent they" where i list a category & some stardew valley characters and debate whether or not they actually would be that thing. potentially nsfw text?
first up, non marriageable npcs and whether or not they are a dilf/milf:
marlon: obviously. there's no debate here.
the wizard: yes. no further comments.
linus: no. that is my best friend d right there i will not "go into his tent"
lewis: absolutely NOT. that man is greasy.
marnie: you know what? yeah. she is. in more of a "rich wine aunt you see at parties twice a year" way.
kent: do i even have to say anything? yes hes a dilf 100%. makes me think of that gg audio that's like "im a truth seeker, i seek the truth..."
jodi: yes but more in a "IM GOING TO MAKE HER MY GF" kind of way.
robin: .... seriously guys? do i need to answer this? (the answer is yes btw)
demetrius: no. but he'd be nice to sit and have a chat with, he can ramble about his experiments to me <3
pierre: honestly a strong maybe, but im gonna say no because his vibes are abhorrent.
caroline: yes. caroline was the first npc i became friends with so she's always a yes <3
george: no. don't even ask that.
evelyn: NO. that's my sweet granny im gonna make cookies with her.
sandy: i mean she has the potential but i don't think she's old enough to be considered a milf? it's a maybe but a definite yes in the future.
gus: hmm.. im gonna say maybe with high yes potential. i mean he can cook.
willy: i know this one is likely gonna get split 50/50 between you guys but it's a no from me. that's my uncle figure. he literally calls me his skipper and i go YEAAAH!!!
clint: ❌❌❌
gunther: yes. i just wish we could actually talk to him tho.
gil: hmmm.. it's possible. this is a maybe.
pam: no </3 love her but not like that
now, onto the marriage candidates and whether they are a top, bottom, or switch. here's the nsfw text. feel free to skip or read, it's up to you.
shane: dominant top. i just can't see him as submissive im sorry guys.
sam: submissive top. literally just wants to make it enjoyable for his partner, probably likes to be praised. u tell him good job? hes gone.
sebastian: power bottom. he knows what he wants and isn't afraid to let his partner know.
emily: trick question. she's asexual.
haley: dominant top. i don't really think i need to explain this.
penny: bottom. please treat her nicely or she'll cry.
harvey: SWITCH. he has potential for both, but i feel like he'd be more on the gentle side. maybe slightly more submissive depending on the situation. (#menwhowhimper)
maru: i feel like shes a tough one. on one hand i can see her as asexual, but on the other i think she'd be a switch. i think it fluctuates for her & she goes through periods of sex repulsion & hypersexuality.
leah: dominant switch, but i feel like she'd be more open to topping. muscular women .. ooogh.
elliott: another switch. he is literally open to anything & everything.
abigail: ooh another tough one. im honestly not sure possibly bottom? she'd also be open to top of you asked.
alex: *cracks knuckles* oooh you see those big muscles and personality and think "top" right? wrong. that man is a submissive bottom. he also has a tendency to allow himself to get overstimulated because he wants to "see what his body can handle"
I’m gonna put this out there now… I’ve been shipping them in my Non-Cursed Eda AU (that I’ll eventually write 💀)
Don’t hate me 🙀
Camila was too scared to move on after all these years but Luz assures her that it’s ok and that she has Manny’s blessing. (Luz got a chance to meet with Manny in her brief visit to the afterlife. There is nothing he wants more than for his family to be happy, even when he himself is gone.) Yet nothing could prepare Luz for the person her mother took a fancy to.
Olly Porter to Meadow Park: “Our family tree is so jacked up… I can’t tell if Luz is my cousin or my aunt at this point…!”
It remains really funny to me that of the Green Seekers, Olly is the mean bitch (affectionate) and Gus is the soft-hearted idiot (affectionate), but in the routine, Olly is good cop and Gus is bad cop.
Like, how did they decide that Gus, who is apparently too nice in all other contexts, is the one breaking fingers.