#gun safety guys

[aq2003]

i feel like he's choosing his words carefully bc he doesn't want it to blow up in his face but personally i think he should be legally allowed to kill the tory politicians making his criticism of them the center of their campaigns

[wasabijean]

movie would’ve been better if she had a gun

[brionysea]

if stranger things 5 comes out and they're like 'omg! the upside down has been a product of someone's dark and twisted mind this whole time! it's... WILL!' I'll immediately lose interest

[extantformoflife]

the two funniest things about psychonauts so far. in my humble opinion. (i am three hours into this game). are (1) the scene where a bully says to raz "i heard you were raised in a circus" and you the player goes. haha real original insult buddy. until it is revealed that no actually raz was ACTUALLY FUCKING RAISED IN A CIRCUS. and (2) when you go to agent nein and say "yeah i would like to fight the giant shadow monster lurking in the depths of my psyche" and he, a person who moments prior was basically goading raz into fighting said giant shadow monster, goes "what? no. i cant let you do that? no! thats against so many rules!!! you CANNOT do that!!" while raz is actively running away from him in order to get a gun license

[tacticalsmth]

Uh.. Yeah!

We can do all of that, but why don't you help me in the garage first! I'm just cleaning my guns, won't take too long.

Plus, I've got a few pocket knives you can sharpen and clean, I want to make sure before you touch ANY of my guns I put you through some training with them first.

Hey, Morty..

I'll make sure to hide you well in my dimension, alright? I'll keep you safe.

"I-I appreciate it mumsies I really d-dont want certain people f-finding Me."

[viric-dreams]

I was thinking the other night about how Jones deals with people he doesn't like to varying degrees. He's not especially quick to anger, and far more forgiving than most of slights out of social incompetence rather than malice. That said, respect is important to him and he does not tolerate belittlement or attacks. He does, however, work viciously and quietly.

His behaviour is perfectly cordial with an arrogant socialite. However, should a glass of wine find itself spilt over their light-coloured outfit by the end of the evening, well, he was on the other end of the room and finds it a real shame.

Schlomo's crime was in presuming too much. An amusing man with whom to debate the nature of the mind until the moment he overstepped, made personal assertions about Jones that were no business of his to make. The man didn't even seem aware of the significance of the insult, simply prattling on. No matter. The right words to choice academics and deans ensured that Schlomo's struggled to publish any of his work or obtain funding to this day.

Jones never got catharsis with the guard who had made his life in New Newgate an extra level of hell. Instead, he had to sate himself with the Warden. The whisper campaign had gone on for months, questioning his competence, some scandal emerging that no one will talk about in specific but making him an unattractive candidate for any sort of job. In fact, he seemed to struggle to keep any sort of employment. And it's not long after that his wife left--Met someone else, she'd said. A name she can't seem to remember to this day. Friends abandoned him, one picked a knife fight over an alleged betrayal. It's not long after that that his sanity was called into question entirely, and after one too many visits to the Royal Beth, the man seems to have reached a breaking point and has simply not been seen since.

The Topsy King had crossed a line, one that had hit Jones far deeper than he would like to admit. Breaking into his home--his sanctuary--and sending the constables after him was unthinkable. Jones had told him what he'd wanted to hear to get the result he needed. It was only after the round of the Marvellous concluded and he'd gained his wealth back that he made his first move: A conveniently oblivious cat under the man's feet on the wrong Flit rooftop. He'll recover from the fall, and when he does, Jones intends to go after what remains of his mind, like a cat batting at a mouse. Until then, Jones has made another enemy: The Manager.

His insult was less egregious, though equally serious--messing with his mind. Already he'd caught word of an event held at the Beth, one whose caterers are conveniently unable to attend. No matter, a friend of a friend of The Manager seems to know of an agency, one entirely staffed by clay men. And at the end of a terse night... What an inconvenient moment to run into Schlomo, armed with some fascinating new insight into The Manager's past.

[zedif-y]

pulling up to the function (college) and scaring the hoes (classmates) by being too swag (being so quiet bc i forgot how to act like a person)

[clementimetodie]

Why does the right constantly believe they are not being idealistic, the world needs to conform to your beliefs for them to work too, things are not going to just turn on a dime because you think you're intellectually superior for not thinking about the impact your changes would have on other people

[sqlmn]

So as one does with their OCs........... (shoves them into an AU).

Cafe AU where Clifford is a younger new hire and the person who's supposed to train him is just kinda. Apathetic at first. But quickly melts and decides they would die for this little guy. This is their new favorite person. It's totally normal to demand to be on as many of the same shifts as possible as a coworker. And every shift the mentor tries to Be Normal (aka just uh huh's when Cliff talks to him and not prod and pry into his entire life). And mentor is just super good at latte art so they love to show off to Cliff.

Which pays off when Clifford's mom shows up one day and is talking to him while mentor stands at a slight distance (to be normal) and hears "and this is my best friend!" and welp. That sealed it. They will now commit a murder for their favorite coworker if required.

(Katale and Rudyard also exist but they're not coworkers so they're not here. Also in the AU, Clifford just has a name tag for Cliff and mentor doesn't use their real name on their tag but writes Maverick..... based on a tumblr post someone linked me.)

[zombiefishmonster]

ford not telling everyone in the shack that he was carrying a rip in the space time continuum, just in case, really makes me question his common sense

[redhoodscorvid]

My partner got to see the frantic creation of the "Does Jason Todd sleep with a gun" poll in real time. But the real question? The real question is how literal we're going to get about Jason's gun being a teddy bear.

Jason woke to silence.

Sun poured through the cheap blinds. Hot air bled the smell of cigarettes and sweat. Sheets stuck to his front, the shitty fabric rough and saturated, as his right hand tapped against something soft. Full on dog days of summer: you didn't have to be nightlife for sunlight to be unbearable at this point.

At mid-morning, the neighbour couple two doors over should be yelling about what chores are humanly possible to do before shift. The godawful buzzer for the corner store directly below the unit should ring with a delivery. One floor up, frantic shuffling and cupboard slamming will echo as the guy who's holding on to a courier job by the skin of his teeth looks for his keys. He'll usually run down the hallway three to seven minutes late.

It felt like the building was holding its breath.

Half-decent, Jason thought.

Jason's forearms tensed for leverage. He swung his right leg over his body, springing up. His heel hit Thug 1 in the nose. 

The blood is extraneous. Ignore the bullet hitting the wall behind you. 

He let the momentum of the arc touch his feet to the ground, and followed up the tap with a solid left hook to the temple. The guy dropped like his strings were cut, and Jason uncoiled with his right hand pointing unerringly at the doorway.

Jason blinked slowly, hoping his face only gave away how unimpressed he was at the situation. He was pointing a teddy bear at Thug 2. 

Control the situation.

"You know, I actually like this shaggy dog toy a bit," he said, letting dead casual fall from his lips. "It'd be a shame if something happened to it."

Skinny Thug 2 was eleven feet away, with the small hurdle of the poor excuse for a mattress between them. The man had let his gun droop a bit, his straw blond hair falling into his face as he gaped. 

Jason smiled. It wasn't a sunny smile; it was the kind that exhaled concrete dust and industrial fumes in the heat of summer.

"A .44 Magnum," he said, letting the words fall, carefully timed, into the quiet room, "Is usually overkill. Your little 9mm is a better choice for this kind of situation. But you know..."

A pause as Thug 2's eyes widened. He managed to get the gun mostly pointed up at Jason.

Jason stepped forward, not letting the shaggy teddy bear drop an inch. "...the Magnum will make a big chunk of your head explode. Brain matter everywhere. Kind of on my bucket list.

"It's a shame, though. Would pretty much annihilate this little fucker."

Jason pointed the teddy bear lower.

"I'd probably have to shoot you a few times to make up for it."

Thug 2 raised his hands, letting the gun clatter to the floor. 

Jason actually did wince at that point. Idiot could have killed Mr. Chronically-Seven-Minutes-Late if the gun misfired. So Jason didn't feel too bad about smashing the guy's forehead into his knee.

He left the completely normal teddy bear tucked under Thug 2's elbow.

[dimsilver]

🔫

[mayohigan-orange]

[todayisafridaynight]

I had a dream where I was watching a sesame street episode that guest starred Daigo

was this your vision

[banyanas]

the reason sparrow is the one person in this generation of NPCs who doesn’t known how to shoot a gun is he doesn’t need one

[absentmoon]

you and kao should kiss

NUH UH

COUNTER ATTACK GO