#guinea pig special interest

[cutepawz98]

[cutepawz98]

Gay guinea pigs are real

happy pride!🏳️‍🌈✨

(image description in alt text)

[tsukii0002]

So, i like to think that Adam was jacked and reaaaally handsome, like...A LITERAL ANGEL FELL FOR HIM quite literally lol, and for the sake of my delulu let's say that most of the humans that the brothers met where taller and stronger that the humans nowdays (since Adam and Lilith met some centuries ago)

So since the brothers only met humans that were more strong than the nowdays humans, so when they see the mc for the first time (let's imagine that mc is pretty short like...around 5ft/1,50) they are like "??" they knew that humans are fragile and weak but they did not know that now humans are THIS weak and fragile, this was a shock to them.

BESIDES i'm pretty sure that i literally have no canon sorce for that the brothers actually changed their heigths i mean they were angels and now are demons, can't demons shapeshift?? because it's more usefull to them be that heigth, so when they see someone naturally short—Mc—they are a bit shocket specially when they still think that the humans still tall

I guess this apply to all the alredy born demons (i forgot like...the entire lore 😭 so forgive me)

How you think they will individualy react? What will they say? I guess that Beel and Belp will be more shocked since they watched the humans with Lilith while they were tall and strong so i imagine that the two youngests will be like "what lore did i miss?😦" Or "why you are like that 🤨"

Ignore my grammar mistakes 🙈

I really like the concept of changing the appearance, and "the more demonic real form of the brothers" . Also this kind of situation would be: what you asked for by catalogue vs what you get 😂😂. I don't know if I can capture your idea well, but here goes. And as always, thanks for the suggestions 🩷

How the demons react to an actual human (much smaller than they remembered).

Lucifer

Oh father why? As if he didn't have enough to keep a normal human alive, now he has to keep this creature alive? Like are they an average human? In his time humans were more… more.

Lucifer would keep his distance and be stressed constantly, he would feel like Mc was a balloon in a needle shop. He would worry about absurd things like they falling into any crack or hole. But what would really make him lose sleep is the thought of someone so small having so much power over his family, you know, pride.

Lucifer: Mc! Where are you?

Mc: *behind him* here?

Lucifer: One of these days you're going to give me a heart attack.

Mc: It's your fucking fault, not mine, you being a giant is not my problem.

Lucifer: You, little shit.

Mammon

Why so small??!! Are you putting him in charge of something so small? Of all the demons? He's looked after guinea pigs before for work and it's never worked out well, shouldn't you think again?

Mammon would be one of the quickest to forget about it, I mean they are small but they're his human. That is until he hugs or pushes them, because he'll think he's killed Mc and start crying. He has lost Mc countless times. Mammon's the type that gets a heart attack when Mc interacts with any demon, too overprotective.

Mammon: I knew people would pay to pet your head.

Mc: I'm glad business went well, now give me the 90% you owe me.

Mammon: What? That's not- don't give me that face!!!

Mc: It's just that, Mammon, this little face doesn't hold itself… now give me my share or I'll tell Lucifer that you've done business with my size.

Levi

Have they always been like that? Not that he's ever been interested in humans but… Are not they too cartoonist? . I mean in his real form he could pick them up as one of his figures… Does they bite? Small bugs tend to bite the most…

Honestly it makes he a little bit excited because Mc looks like the characters of his animes, that is to say they have the perfect size to be a magical girl. He'd also adapt pretty quickly although he'd be far from forgetting and he'd always be careful because oh god they're so small. Their condition makes it easier to strike up a conversation with them.

Mc: Have you handmade all these cosplays?

Levi: Yep…

Mc: They are for me right?

Levi: Yep.

Mc: Okey…. but I'm not going to wear the goldfish one.

Satan

… Well nice to meet you, don't come near me again. He had read about the great kings, the mighty heroes, the fearsome witches… he wasn't expecting a miniature human. It would be impossible to keep them alive, so he wants to get out of the way.

He has read a lot about humans, but he wasn't prepared for that. It never ceases to amaze him how little Mc's conscience is, anything can kill them! Why do them throw themself headlong into danger? He would start to interact with them very slowly, and even then he would be extremely careful, he wouldn't start to act more calmly until the fourth pact with Asmo.

Satan: *watching two KO demons with Mc on top of them* How?

Mc: I'm like a fiddler spider, tiny but lethal.

Satan: … Cool

Asmodeus

Oh my gosh, they're the size of a pocket dog, (Devildom's pocket dogs are six feet tall) . They don't look like any of the epic heroes or one with Solomon's power. So many things could happen to them, so many things could hurt them, he could do so many things to them… Is this a new fetish?

The one that best adapts his strength without giving up physical contact. At first he thought that Mc must belong to a small group of short humans. When he found out they weren't, he rethought a lot of things. Tempting humans nowadays would be complicated, and even more so if he showed his true form. But for some reason he was now more interested in actual humans.

Asmo: What is it about you that makes you so irresistible?

Mc: Ummm, do you really think something like that?

Asmo: Yes, you are so amazing and beautiful and charming… no human has ever made me feel like that before!!!

Mc: Well, you know what they say… *holds his chin from above* The best scents come in small bottles *smiling*

Asmo: *choked scream*

Beel

This can't be a human… Diavolo has been tricked, he could eat Mc in one bite, normal humans could be eaten in 5 or 6 bites… And why aren't they afraid? Don't they know the real size of a demon? Doesn't natural selection work in the human world?

Beel: *with mc sitting on his shoulders*

He would be super careful, as if Mc was made of porcelain. At first he would be reluctant to get too close, what if he broke something by touching it? But then he'd take on the role of guardian, and if anyone got more than five metres away from the little human, it'd end up as Beel's lunch.

Lucifer: Why is Mc on your shoulders?

Beel: They like to be tall.

Mc: actually it's because when he's hungry I run the risk of him crushing me without realising it.

Belphie

I've seen many humans and this can't be a human 2.0 how is something so small going to help him get out of the attic? He guess it's been too long since he've been down to the human world… if humans had been like that Lilith wouldn't have fallen in love with one…

Belphie: You're warm *placing them on his lap in class*

He fidn't expect anything from the human, however he was the one who took to them the quickest seeing what they achieved in such a short time, it seems that for a human to do great things it doesn't matter if they're small. They are also the perfect size to cuddle and sleep next to. And it's the perfect little warmth bag, as he can carry them at any time.

Mc: I think we can go home now Belphie.

Belphie: *getting up carrying Mcall the way* Cool, let's go sleep in the attic.

Mc: Do I have a choice?

Belphie: *fritting his cheek against Mc* No.

.

.

College is killing me again so sorry for the wait, I'm in a creative block so it's hard for me to write so if you've made it this far thank you very much 😌

[hatchetmanofficial]

Heya! I was rewatching your guys’ stream on yt, and got to the part where you said that Carver was canonically AroAce and that while he could theoretically have an interest in a romantic relationship, it would only happen in a very special case. Out of curiosity, what would that special case look like? As in, what is a situation where he could theoretically develop interest? Or would any romantic relationship have to be for nonromantic interest or gain (married for tax benefits, QPR, “dating” someone so that people will stop asking him about it, etc.)?

I kinda fumbled on the stream actually. I was not able to recall at the time what Carver's romantic/sexual orientation was so I said AroAce at the spot. When in actuality I meant to say he is Demi romantic/Demi sexual

a special case is someone who would be his "Guinea Pig". Someone who he can control and do harmful things to them while at the same time being just as strange as he is and loving him for who he is at his core.

If you are 100% okay with Carver putting your severed head in a jar and speaking to said head, he got himself a keeper. He essentially doesn't see his "special someone" as an equal. More like a prize for him to keep poking and probing at. Essentially, this is why the MC is not his "Guinea Pig"

[cutepawz98]

Is that a

Is that a guinea pig????!!?!?!?!

[cringelordofchaos]

random craig tucker headcanons

has level 1 low support needs autism

gay (not a hc bt whaever.)

special interest is star trek and space in general

watching red racer every day is a routine he mustn't under almost any imaginable circumstance break

got some peruvian ancestry (from which parent's side? heck if i know) + knows a bittt of spanish

his family mostly goes without saying a word to each other during meals

when hes waiting outside the counselor's office for flipping off someone again he sits and either thinks about space or looks at images of stripe on his phone to ease any tension that migth be there

barely ever smiles except when stripe, space or tweek exist

closer to thomas than to laura

his parents taught him everythin ghe knows <33 (emotional constipation and invlulnerability but breaking the ice every one in a while)

sometimes just randomly infodumps about random facts about star strek or space or guinea pigs at the most random of times (actually canon as briefly shown in TFBW)

likes to learn / memorize random facts abt red racer, space, star trek or guinea pigs

random fact i almost mispelled guinea pigs every single time wtmf is wrong with me

for birthdays he mostly gets space-themed stuff cuz everyone knows he loves it

if hes overwhelmed, instead of having a meltdown he'll usually have a shutdown instead

sometimes rants to stripe abt stuff like relationship drama w tweek lmao

he actually liked the clothes he wore during the metrosexual fad, (evident by keeping them in his closet as shown in TFBW)

most emotion he shows is anger/being pissed off

"sooooooo happy" is actually a stim of his and it feels satisfying for him to say it every time hes sooo happy

even when hes sooo happy the most emotion he'll show is a faint smile

doesn't really smile in any pictures unless hes forced to

flipping people off for him is kinda like pushing people away and making them pissed off at him so he wouldnt need to care abt what they think of him and that way he sorta protects himself (mostly saying this bc of one of his attacks in tfbw)(i swear im sane)

hes sometimes overwhelmed from his relationship w tweek but he fucking sucks at communicating (his kryptonite in TFBW is literally communication) he didnt communicate that to tweek just yet (this is mostly shown in buddha box)(NOT SAYING CRAIG DOESNT CARE ABOUT TWEEK HE LOVES HIM HES JUST OVERWHELMED SOMETIMES FROM FEELING LIKE HES COMPLETELY RESPONIBLE FOR HIM ANDN OIEAHDKKSH leave him alone) i like to imagine tweek and craig resolve this at one point cuz im pretty sure they get married in the future and they always push through their struggles together and they rly need each other so .

u can point to a star n hell name it

has space themed pajamas

(StOLEN HC IdK FroM whO) has those glow in the dark stars in his room

i googled it sometime ago n apparently he has blue eyes ? idrc

his childhood dream was to become an astronaut (I FORGOT HOW TO SPELL IT I LITERALLY HAD TO GOOGLE IT I HATE MYSELF) but when he grew up he probably settled for something less extreme. idk what though

either got diagnosed w autism at age 10, in his teens, in his young adult years, or far afterwards, or never at all. when he was told by someone that he migth be autistic he didnt rly even bother to look it up or anything but if he did he would go like "idk i dont really think im autistic i dont think i do (x symtom) all that much" and tweeks like "You do that literally all the time !!!!". but yeah even if he gets diagnosed he doesnt rly end up taking any medication or specializzed therapy but he does gain a larger understanding of himself and how to handle things like shutdowns.)

really picky eater (cuz sensory issues)

hates wearing jeans or similiar uncomfy clothing so he wears exclusively sweatpants (again cuz of sensory issues)

his whole family is autistic actually ive decided so when mr mackey brings up the possibility of him being autistic laura and thomas deny it cuz all the symptoms he shows are what they do as well, andthyere obviously not autistic so neither can craig be.

sometimes he goes over to tweeks house completely unannounced and so does tweek (actuallycanon as shown in put it down)

0verwhelmed by the concept of emotions in general but his relationship w tweek forces him to confront that part of him he tries to avoid and forces him to open up a bit which is actually rly important

since tweek is on meth, he heavily lacks appetite and sometimes skips meals or just doesnt take care of himself enough. craig learns abt this (not the meth part cuz tweek doesnt know that eithrer) so he helps him eat enough food throughout the day so he doesnt fucken starve to death

replies to tweeks texts instantly (actually canon)

tolkiens best friend (canon according to the official south park wiki). clydes a closee second

clyde annoys the fuck out of him but in a friend teasing way and they both care abt each other obvu

i actually dont rly have hcs for him n tolkien sryyyy

jimmy makes the best remarks abt creek (canon)(in put it down he asks craig (when craig doesnt know why tweek isnt in school) "uh oh. trouble in paradise?" and in TFBW during a battle tweek tells craig smth like "ill be right with you super craig!" and jimmy says "OK, i guess illbe the third wheel." anyway live laugh jimmy)

extremely blunt pessimist (canon)

despite his reputation as a troublemaker hes actually a decently polite kid (minus the constant flipping off)

barely goes out the house or does anything exciting. nice n boring. just the way he likes it.

hates changes or sudden surprises or his routine being broken

on the verge of being diagnosed w oppositional defiance disorder

sometimes wears black nail polish (again cuz in tfbw its kinda implied he liked the metrosexual fad n black nail polish migth be a more neutral form of such self expression)(mostly self projecting here)

tumblr user

during one pride month thomas went all out and bought craig a shitton of pride themed merch that he mostly doesnt use

he loves loves lovess seeing tweeks smile !!!1!! hes like omfg finally hes getting a fucking break (tweeks life is a fucking mess)

appears unphased by some stuff even when hes really uncomfortab;le

sometimes sleeps without pillow ehn he deems it more comfortable

deals w some form of small anxiety, not to a disordered amount thogh

maybee has depression ?!? idk

dated a girl in the past cuz he thought he was supposed to, but he felt like "she was holding him back". overall he didnt give a fuck abt their breakup cuz he didnt really care that much abt the relationship and when others questioned him abt it he was confused and didnt know most ppl were heartbroken after a breakup. (sorry i love early craig being a gay mess in denial)

sometimes cartman calls him a pocoyo rip off and each time he feels the strongest urge to either decapitate or defenestrate him

before he n tweek got together he would joke to tolkien abt how he was gonna propose to him when they grew up so he could live off his wealth and not have to work for any money. (SORRY i got this concept from a webcomic (the four of them))

he n tweek send heart emojis to each other (implied)

mostlyyy dry texter (he doesnt mean to)

at one point he n tweek buy a pair of guinea pigs for stripe to befriend and craig names them castor and pollux

he n tweek get married in the future

mostly likes dry, tasteless and cold food (There r obviously exceptions thats why i said mostly)

says and intreprerts things more literally than most

still sarcastic at times

hates huge social events with too many people and noiises

used to blend in well and fit in w mob mentality but doesnt really care anymore

it wont let me write anymo

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

I know its not a secret that I fucking love guinea pigs so so so so much, but I dont think a lot of people know that they're my special interest. ive loved them since I was 9 and they've brought me so much joy and comfort throughout some of the shittiest times in my life. it hasn't been easy lately between being jewish, disabled, and also just a regular ass college student, but piggies are my refuge.

I want to thank everyone I know here for not only being supportive but also actively participating in my love for these chunky rodents. im so so glad that guinea pigs are loved deeply by so many because they truly deserve it. every time someone shares a piggie with me I feel so so happy I would jump up and down if it didn't hurt my back. I love piggies so much and I love everyone who encourages my piggie love. wheek wheek with love to you all!!

[ai-musclebound]

> Liam's story – part 1 < Dr_Dale: Hi LiamMuscle! I saw your forum post about wanting more muscles and looking for shortcuts. I think I can help. I’d love to see a guy like you grow. ;) What I'm offering is far from anything you've tried before. I'm talking about genetic modification - CRISPR. Interested? LiamMuscle: Genetic modification? Sounds like sci-fi. Tell me more. Dr_Dale: In short, we can edit your DNA to modify certain genes that control your muscle growth. Specifically, this involves two things: Myostatin and Follistatin. LiamMuscle: What are those? What do they do? Dr_Dale: Myostatin is a protein that naturally limits your muscle growth. Too much of it, and your body stops itself from building more muscle mass. Follistatin, on the other hand, promotes muscle growth. It neutralizes the effects of Myostatin. LiamMuscle: And you can craft with it? Dr_Dale: Yes, through a special CRISPR treatment. I work with nanoparticles that we use as a delivery system for the CRISPR tool. These nanoparticles are incorporated into pills that you simply swallow. LiamMuscle: Sounds too simple. Just pills? Dr_Dale: Exactly. The nanoparticles are programmed to pass through the liver and go straight to your muscle cells without being broken down by your body. Once there, they start working: turning off the Myostatin gene and boosting Follistatin production. LiamMuscle: What does that mean for me? More muscles, non-stop? Dr_Dale: Theoretically, yes. Your muscles wouldn't be limited by Myostatin anymore. With increased Follistatin production, you could see significant gains, far beyond what's naturally possible. LiamMuscle: Sounds great. Send me the pills. Dr_Dale: Like any procedure of this kind, there are risks. LiamMuscle: Don't care. Don't bore me with that. Make me your guinea pig. Dr_Dale: Someone's quickly convinced. ;) I like it! You're really ready to do anything for more muscles, aren't you? LiamMuscle: When it comes to muscles, there's no such thing as too much. Bigger is always better!

[cutepawz98]

Peruvian/Sheltie/Coronet guinea pigs just existing

Bug

[cutepawz98]

Random Headcannon Time: Dib thinks that GUINEA PIGS are ALIENS (this is true)

[arcane-ish]

Plotbunnies aka "making the most of Viktors new ability"

Warwick/Viktor, Viktor/Silco: So my first plot bunny just Vander's point of view on the whole Viktor mindprobing him, being charmed by Viktor's goodness and wrestling with his own shame over his past or his urges.

Viktor/Silco, Vander/Silco: Second was Viktor digging deeper into Vander's mind and finding the darker more uncensored parts. Viktor "meeting" Silco in Vander's mind. Maybe Viktor flirting with young!Silco in the last Drop within Vander's mind palace. (maybe with a dash of Viktor wondering what Vander wants to tell him about Silco, if mind!Silco is so flirty).

Viktor/Silco, Viktor/Jinx: Spinning off from that: okay what other ways could Viktor have to encounter Silco? Maybe after seeing Silco in Vander's mind he wants another view and sees a different view on Silco in Jinx's mind?

Viktor/Jinx, Sisters: But then I decided Viktor wouldn't heal Jinx against her will. So next idea: Viktor offers to heal Jinx because he senses much pain but also much power in her. Jinx imo would say no. But still, lots of interesting ideas about it. Like would Vi get tempted to try and convince Jinx? Maybe the sisters debating whether they should let Viktor try to cure Isha's muteness?

Viktor/Jinx: Spinning off from that, story about Viktor wondering why The Arcane keeps urging him to try and heal Jinx. (imo Jinx has a special relationship with Hextech AND she's all shimmered up, so an "I want to suck everything in" Hexcore entity thingie would have double the reason to consume her.

Viktor/Silco + Singed: Another interesting "Viktor sees many different perpectives on Silco" point of view (on top of Vander and Jinx) would be Singed. But again, this would fall into Viktor wouldn't heal people against their will and Singed wouldn't say yes. But still, might be another interesting "temptation" type scene if Viktor would offer Singed to heal him over the pain of losing his daughter and the scars on his face. (I think Singed wouldn't say yes because I think in a weird way Singed is actually somewhat happy with his life and maybe like Silco about the The Betrayal thinks his daughter being his driving force is actually a good thing. That said, he might ask Viktor to heal Orianna instead and watch closely what that does).

Viktor/Silco + Singed. Wait, maybe Singed wants Viktor to heal Orianna, but he wants Viktor to guinea pig try it out on Silco instead?

spooky!Viktor + pairing of your choice: a more fucked up, unfeeling machine herald Viktor doesn't have this rule about not healing people against their wll anymore. So he just heals and mind invades people left and right, whether as part of a battle to take them over or almost accidentally by brushing against them. In that process he then sees the people and memories these people love the most (in my head this comes up mostly for the people who are resisting but I could do with Viktor just knowing all the loves and wants of everyone he has healed), but because he's unfeeling now, they don't mean anything to him, he's just neutrally cataloguing them. This could be done for any pairing of your choice, CaitVi (ie Viktor being at the most surprised about how much pain Cait is in about Vi), MelJay, JayVik (ie Viktor seeing how Jayce saw him and the moment Jayce fell in love with him), etc etc.

Porny VanderxSilcoxViktor (throw in Felicia if you feel like it): Viktor wandering through Vander's mind runs into a memory of Vander and Silco having sex (if you don't like, do Vander and Felicia or Vander/Silco/Felicia threesome) and because he's in Vander's mind he expreriences it from Vander's point of view and you can bring in that whole bit about how it is unfamiliar, that Viktor has never been in a certain position because of his leg. [the explanation here would be that with his normal healings, Viktor doesn't typically have to probe that deep, so he doesn't usually run into this problem]

Ekko&Viktor or maybe Timebomb: I think Ekko would be like Jinx and would never want Viktor to heal him no matter how unhappy he is. I think he'd be distrustful like Jinx (if there is a temptation then maybe one to ask Viktor whether he can heal the tree). So maybe a version where Ekko never went on his trip to Piltover and he is super weirded out by this new camp and he either teams up with Jinx to spy on it or he seeks it out to talk to Viktor and try to figure out whether Viktor is a good guy or a bad guy.

[cutepawz98]

PIGGIE ALERT

squeaking the G note

[zxmbievxmit]

Okay so because I’m bored and because I just want to talk about my favorite character, here are some Will Solace Headcanons. Some I will elaborate on some I just made up.

- Has the curliest hair (other than Leo)

- Has freckles EVERYWHERE

- Has scars mostly from Tartarus and training

- Sucks at archery (most training scars are from archery)

- Almost always wears flip flops, but on occasion wears sneakers

- The sneakers he does wear are absolutely destroyed / covered in doodles

- Loves dogs especially Golden Retrievers and Australian Shepherds

- Also loves fish and guinea pigs

- Never ever takes off the chain w/ Nico’s ring

- Pretty good at guitar, amazing singing voice

- Has bad ADHD, copes with it by constantly being busy

- Overworks himself a lot

- Gets reenergized from the sun (so do all Apollo kids), sometimes he just sits out in the sun

- Sometimes helps w/ camp plays / musicals

- Listens to Taylor Swift, Conan Gray, Olivia Rodrigo, Mitski?, Laufey, and musicals (not limited to these)

- Terrified of pigeons, but loves other birds. Especially crows, thinks they’re pretty (like Nico)

- Special interests are Star Wars and true crime

- Wear a lot of jewelry, especially earrings. He has a lot of piercings

- Can draw pretty well, especially autonomy but doesn’t draw a lot

- Cries every time he watches Frozen (sibling angst)

- Loves Tangled, loves when people compare him to Rapunzel

- Not picky, will eat anything

- Does kill bugs but Nico refuses to. Saves them every time

- Loves horror movies (especially slasher ones), analyzes the gore and how realistic it is

- Good friends with Leo, Percy, Clarisse, Cecil, Lou Ellen, and Nyssa

- Watches nature documentaries (gets sad when the animals die)

- Was really close to Lee Fletcher and Michael Yew, Michael taught him how to be a medic

- Looks like a surfer boy but sucks at surfing

- Had really blue eyes (blue eyed stare)

- Hair looks golden when the sun hits it

- Has bad nightmares

- All Apollo kids wake up with the sun

- Annotates every book. Has annotated a lot of Nico’s books (Nico loves it)

- Has dyslexia (like most demigods) but loves reading

- Has pretty bad anxiety, but his hands are pretty steady

- Stays calm under pressure most of the time

- Songs that make me think of him: Mirrorball, Summer Child, All American Bitch, Working for the Knife, and From the Start

- Hates hot pink (idk)

- Nico sometimes does his makeup and paints his nails

I have more for other characters (and some more of Will) but that’s all I’m doing rn

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

Please bear with me this is a bit long and, quoting nance, a shot in the dark.

Portals and sexuality: what do they have to say?

This post is inspired by @givehimthemedicine's portals & vaginal imagery: Nancy as El's foil and csa in Hawkins Lab analysis, definitely read that before this

Basically it talks about the portals as vagina symbolism (which is not a new theory) and what exactly does this mean, specially for Nancy and El's characters. Now, portals exist as a way to get to the upside down, however one thing can mean several things in media, which makes it fun.

When reading their post I thought perhaps portals symbolising vaginas were a Nancy thing, a Nancy thing than has been conveniently used to hint/symbolise some things for El as well.

I mean, Nancy is the only character who's sex life is plot relevant and important. We have a whole scene of her losing her virginity, of barb dying during it and Nancy being traumatised, of the cops asking her about it and her angrily confessing it to her mom, her being called a slut, her sleeping with Jonathan in s2... No character's sex life has been such in the front, but that's cause hers is relevant to the plot.

And since part of the analysis focused on her, I just thought it was a nancy thing. Until they talked about Steve + robin (+ eddie) going through the gates in S4. Steve I could get, since he was also once involved in Nancy's sex life, in an important moment as well (her first ever sexual experience with a partner, and barbs death), just like they also talk about Jonathan and vaginal symbolism in the portals, related to nance. But robin? What does she have to do with it?

They wrote: "a lesbian and self-professing nonbeliever in a higher power, exclaims "oh, thank God! that was fun!" upon passing through. I'll just. ok. / she never looked afraid, but she did have a little trepidation in being the first to climb through, saying "guess I'm the guinea pig". interesting line to give to Robin, who could also be called a guinea pig in the sense of figuring out how to date girls in a conservative small town."

And I thought huh maybe the portals can show Nancy's (and El's) relationship with their sexuality and characters’ sexual attraction towards women (or, if they are women and attracted to men, their own relationships with their sexuality / puberty etc)

And then I thought: funny to think mike is the only character to not have went through one to go to the upside down, even tho he's super principal and has known about the supernatural plot far longer than robin or eddie.

But like, what if.

Before I start,

I focus a bit more on the gate at Eddie’s trailer because I feel like it’s one of the most obvious examples of vaginal imagery. I mean, when the teens find the gate while in the upside down, the gate is closed by some kind of membrane (reminding me of the way El sees the gate at the beginning of s2).

(The gate in Eddie’s trailer as seen by Nancy, Steve, Eddie, and Robin while in the upside down vs the gate in the school as seen by El while in the upside down)

To open the gate / the membrane, they have to poke the gate with a stick until they break it. Um, yeah.

And when the kids (Dustin, Lucas, Max, Erica) opened the gate with the stick, the first to approach and the only ones the camera pans to show the reaction of, are Nancy and Steve. Nancy and Steve who slept together in s1, Nancy who lost her virginity to Steve. You get it.

(Steve looking amazed vs Nancy not looking very impressed)

Also

Interesting to mention the older teens have interacted with gates or downright went through them faster than the party. What do I mean? Jonathan saw a gate and Nancy went through the same gate in s1. The party hadn’t even seen a gate until the end of s1, when el killed (?) the demogorgon. Meanwhile Robin appeared and saw a gate all the same season, and Eddie appeared and went through a gate all the same season, while we have Michael here since s1, not even seeing one.

However, by s5 all of the party will already have interacted with gates (Mike included) and in s5 they will be the same age as the teens were in s1. Something something if portals / gates are sexual imagery something something growing up and puberty (as seen in s3 which is the season where they start to interact with gates, most of them. S3 which is extremely focused in growing up and puberty). In s2 they go to the tunnels but that’s not the upside down that’s still part of Hawkins. However it’s a step further, shows they are growing up, maturing, just a bit.

Now yes,

Dustin

Dustin saw a gate for the first time I think in s3 ep 5, the Russian gate at starcourt and his reaction is pretty average, just surprise like “I can’t believe the Russians have got a gate” which is a pretty understandable reaction.

As I mentioned before, the gate in Eddie’s trailer had some kind of membrane that had to be broken with a stick. Guess who was the one holding the stick. Dustin.

Idk if you can see it well in that screenshot, but it was him.

Dustin was basically twice on the upside down, although to me it all just counts as one time. Once in s4 with Eddie, then he climbed out, and then he went again to try to rescue him. Nothing interesting or remarkable to say about his reactions, no disgust, neither excitement, as if going through gates is normal to him, something he has done before. Well, he does seem like a bit surprised but probably because it’s something new. He gets over it quickly enough tho. I mean, I get that given the situation and everything happening he wouldn’t be worrying about the gate (he has bigger things to worry about) but going officially for the first time to the upside down after hearing the horror stories still must shake you up. But I think they didn’t add more trepidation because we as an audience already are familiar with the gates and the upside down, so why waste time?

@frogfacee said “but dustin interacts w them most, being the only party member to intentionally- and on screen- go through one” as a reply to my post where I asked about the party going through gates on screen. When I read that I knew I had to write this post because you cannot tell me that “mr heterosexual” dustin henderson going through gates the most out of all the party (and poking a gate with a stick) while mike “repressed homosexual” wheeler hasn’t even seen one doesn’t mean anything. Specially because as much as I love Dustin, Mike is the one most connected to the supernatural plot (obviously, aside from Will) out of Lucas, Dustin and him.

Something interesting about Dustin tho, he’s straight. Very heterosexual. All headcanons aside, the show tells us over and over he likes women. He had a tiny crush in Max, now he’s dating Suzie, he asked a girl out to dance at snowball, he wanted to impress girls, he talks with Steve about girls and dating, etc etc. Out of all the party, I think he’s the one who’s attraction to women has been reminded to us the most. I know people talk about Lucas (attracted to women) and Mike (gay) as narrative foils for sexuality (Lucas being how a normal heterosexual man acts regarding women and his gf vs whatever Mike has going on), but the “straightest” out of the party is Dustin. By a mile. That boy likes girls, and the duffers want you to know that. Is it surprising in any way that gates don’t seem weird, or disgusting, or confusing, or scary to him? Than he just sees one and despite the original shock says “guess that’s what I’m doing”?

Lucas

Lucas hasn’t gone to the upside down, but he sees gates twice. First at Eddie’s trailer, and then at the end of s4, after max “dies” and a gate opens.

The one in Eddie’s trailer doesn’t give us much. The one at the end of the season, tho. After max “dies”. That gate that cut Jason in half and that merges with the other gates right in front of the library.

But the thing is, he doesn’t care.

He’s holding Max, crying because he thinks she’s dead, a gate opens and his concern is grabbing max and pull her to safety, away from the gate. He seems mostly a bit scared of the way Jason is cut in half but doesn’t really do anything, it’s not his priority, Max is. There is a shot of Lucas’ face looking scared but he’s not looking at the gate, he’s looking at Jason’s torn body. I would be scared at that too.

Max and Lucas broke up offscreen before s4, and in s4 we have Lucas reaching out to max and being worried cause she’s not herself. However not once does he ask if she wants to get together again or anything like that. Instead he worries because “it’s like you’re not even there, like you’re a ghost or something”. Something is wrong with Max, she’s not telling him or anyone what it is and Lucas is worried. She changed completely after Billy’s death, became a shell of herself and stopped hanging out with them, began isolating herself. So Lucas worries, and asks, Max is his priority. Not their relationship, he doesn’t get closer to her to try and get together, but to see if she’s okay, what is going on.

Then they find out about Vecna and the priority becomes trying to save Max, stop Vecna from killing her. Lucas doesn’t even think about getting back together with Max despite still being in love with her because that’s just not important right now, not when Max’s life is at risk. He worries about her, tries to save her and help her, not because then when it’s all over they might get together again, she might date him again if he saves her, but because he loves her and he doesn’t want her to die. If someone told Lucas that she would decide she doesn’t ever want to see him again after they saved her from Vecna, he would still have helped her.

He pulls Max away from the gates to keep her safe, he pushes any romantic and/or sexual feelings he might have away because Max is the priority, Max is in danger, her life is in danger.

Max (& Erica)

Nothing much. They have interacted with gates, even if just a little. Still more than Mike. They are there, in Eddie’s trailer, and saw how Dustin helped open the gate and the teens went through it.

Erica also saw the s3 russian gate, along with Dustin, Steve, and Robin. She seemed a bit scared but didn’t remain like that for long.

And Max was present when the gate opened after she “died” but well.

I take this as Max and Erica being a teenage and a preteen girl (Max is 15, Erica is 11), growing up and coming into their sexuality and this not scaring them much, just seeing it as something normal (which it is). Probably because this coming into their sexuality means 1- their own body growing and changing which they don’t seem to have any reason to be scared of (different to el, see the tagged post at the beginning), and 2- the development of their sexuality (which so far is attraction to men. Regardless of hc’s, Max is attracted to guys, she dated Lucas, she looked at a shirtless Steve with binoculars, she also talked about how Ralph Macchio from karate kid was “so hot”. With Erica, given that she’s 11, we don’t see this many “proof” but her journey could simply be physical).

Barb (& Will)

(TW: mention of undetailed SA)

So like, I read one of the many posts talking about stranger things and sa, and something that caught my eye cause I hadn’t seen it before, is than Barb also has sa coding. I mean we all have seen the pool scene being contrasted with Nancy sleeping with Steve and we all know how queercoded Barb is. This isn’t anything new, so many people have talked about the scenes being together but yet so different to show the differences between Steve and Nancy (heterosexual sex) vs Barb (lesbian). Something something upside down as metaphor for homophobia etc we know it. However so many people talk about Will’s sa coding, and this person also talked about Barb’s. The difference between Steve and Nancy (consensual sex) vs Barb (unconsensual).

It’s interesting to see that Will, gay, has only interacted with portals unwillingly, unconsensually. With this, then Will’s sa coding gets bigger. This could also be queer coding (which has been present since s1). One thing can symbolize several at the same time. Now, I’m not saying Will got sa by a woman, just that since s1 we can see than he would not have sexual relationships with a woman, unless forced. But I don’t think that’s what that means. It’s certainly possible, but I think it’s about sa.

Barb is queercoded. Very. Like, seriously. Super queercoded for how little screen time she has. And yet her interactions with portals are negative, are unconsensual. It’s very different to Robin’s “that was fun”. Well, in a small town in the 1980s during the aids crisis, lesbian sexuality would be repressed and seen as wrong and disgusting. We have robin for contrast, who accepted her sexuality and sure, things aren’t great, but she talks about it openly with Steve (not only her crushes but also how Julie christy is “bonkers hot” in doctor zhivago, aka, expressing sexual attraction for women out loud) and her experience with portals so far has been positive. Barb, probably repressed, who we also have seen hurting herself (cutting her hand) while conforming (trying to drink beer the way Steve’s friends were) (eddie’s voice: “forced conformity, that’s what’s killing the kids”).

However Robin went through the portal on her own, while Barb was dragged. Just like Will. It’s possible the portals as sexual imagery here represent sexual assault for both Will and Barb, and I think that’s what the duffers were going with. We have seen it for Will, all of s2, other seasons as well but specially s2, but with Barb, since she died, we didn’t get to see the effects. Barb also has some similarities with Henry and El, and well, we all know the *theories regarding Brenner and the lab… ( @henrysglock and @heroesbyler have good posts on it and you can also see it in the og post)

*tbh I wouldn’t even say theories I think it’s just there but in the background.

And finally,

Mike

Oh Mike

Mike is the main reason for this post. This was actually intended as a “proof Mike is gay” post but it escalated

The thing than is odd about Mike and the upside down, is his lack of interactions with it. I don’t think he ever even seen a portal.

But, he knows about the upside down. He helps the party discover stuff and he was the first one (aside from Will) to get a connection with it out of them (he was the one to find El, and to find out El knew Will).

Mike is very close to Will, they’re all friends but we see since s1 their relationship is different. Whether you believe in byler or not, we see it in s1 and s2, there’s a different between Dustin & Mike and Will & Mike. Mike is very close with Will, helping him through his episodes etc in a way that Lucas and Dustin don’t, he’s at the hospital, he discovers Will is the spy, etc etc. Mike is also dating El who, obviously, is super connected to the upside down and gates. So it would make sense for mike to interact with gates or even go to the upside down. Yet he doesn’t.

However I think there’s something to say about how Mike is the only one out of the party (aside from Dustin) to not be disgusted by dart. That means something, I don’t know what, though, but something (perhaps the manifestation theory? x x x)

So we have Mike, one of the main characters if not the main character, who is connected to the supernatural plot and who helps the development of said plot (he meets el, el stays at his house, he discovers stuff) not interact with the upside down at all (no, the tunnels are not part of the upside down, guys), while also being an incredibly queercoded character who has not shown any attraction towards women. (“Oh, but, but, but he’s dating El!”, true, that’s something I can’t deny, in canon, regardless of what I believe, they are dating. But aside from el, has mike shown attraction towards any other girl, or just women as a whole, ever? See here)

I think you can see where I’m getting at. Mike, repressed and gay, has not interacted with portals (vaginal imagery) in the whole show. Wonder why.

If this is true then it's genius, cause it shows something is wrong in a subtle way. I mean, in a show about an alternative dimension, where side characters that appeared one season (eddie) have travelled to said dimension, and side characters than haven't been here since the start (robin) travelled to said dimension, and side characters than have known about the supernatural plot since the start (nancy, steve, jonathan, hopper, etc) travelled to said dimension (or at least, interacted with the gates), and main characters (dustin, lucas, max, el) travelled to said dimension (or at least, interacted with the gates), and that started with a main character being kidnapped to said dimension in the first ep (will), and yet, they have main character Mike Wheeler, super connected to the supernatural plot (always the first to figure out stuff, close relationship with el and will), supposed "heart" of the party and "main" member of the group (hes literally the DM), tbh probably the main character, be the only one not being shown even interacting with a gate at all??? Yeah something isn't right. I noticed this so much time ago and found it incredibly weird.

Now, they are definitely going to the upside down and Mike will go through a portal in s5, so my theory probably won't hold up (unless he acts like, super disgusted when doing it of smth) but I found it interesting.

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

🧚‍♀️ Anon

More JJBA Batman AU 🦇

Risotto as Deathstroke? (He’s an assassin after all)

Ghiaccio is Mister Freeze (I honestly cry for Mister Freeze because he’s doing all his crimes out of love to cure his sick wife)

Either Prosciutto or Sports Maxx works as Solomon Grundy (And he just keeps coming back from the grave) to be honest I don’t really understand this villain too well except he pulls a Jason Voorhees and keeps coming back (Maybe Prosciutto since I’m more familiar with him that Sports Maxx)

Cioccolata honestly fits being Scarecrow because of his cruel experiments he puts on people and had a rivalry with Darling (Though it was one-sided as Darling thought something was very off about Cioccolata as she found his tests on the inmates too ‘cruel’ and was the one who reported and got him fired after she found out what he’s been really doing to the inmates)

You know what? Drama between Darling and Cioccolata would make it interesting as he put at hit on Darling and now she has to hide and gets in witness protection until Cioccolata is found and taken into custody (Darling only wanted to help the inmates get better while Cioccolata only saw the inmates as mere Guinea Pigs for his experiments) so the Joestars allow her to live in their manor to protect her until Cioccolata is put into custody (Meaning she can’t work or do her job until he’s caught which upsets her patients as they’re very angry not seeing their Therapist)

Kira is either the Riddler or Mad Hatter (He’s very delusional thinking he could have a ‘normal’ life since he’s a serial killer so maybe Mad Hatter works?) He’s trying to look for his ‘Alice’ and has been on a murder spree, with his latest victims almost being Shinobu and Hayato but the Joestars as Batman was able to stop him before it was too late as they’re blissfully unaware of the horror of Kira

Esidesi is Clayface (He could be a model/actor if you want because all the Pillarmen are stupid pretty) but could only score in B Horror Films and starting taking a special experimental cream from a shady company that promised him Stardom as it can allow him to reshape his face and appearance (They’re willing to give him the stuff but he has to pull a few crimes for them) only to become addicted to the stuff until an accident where his whole body was submerged and mutated from the stuff into a shapeshifting monstrosity known as ‘Clayface’ (He and Kars are friends)

Santana is Killer Croc (I thought Killer Croc would work with Santana because he appears more animalistic and primitive compared to his fellow Pillarmen in both speech and behavior) but he and Esidisi can switch if you want because Santana as Clayface sounds fine too

This list might be wrong (I haven’t seen Batman in a long time plus it’s kinda hard figuring out who fits where) so you can definitely change these if you want (I was having such a hard time figuring out for the other La Squadra characters)

Yep Risotto is definitely deathstroke. Perhaps darling gets caught up in a feud with the Joestars and he's called to kidnap and hold her for a ransom on behalf of someone else. Not his usual job but the pay is good and his schedule's light. They do have a brief talk and she tells him if he ends up in the asylum to put her down as his psych. He's a little weirded out, is she flirting or really wants to dig at him.

Jonathan is horrified by the ransom and is about to pay it before Joesph stops him and opens up another tab with a tracker he put in her purse. He knows she never goes anywhere without it and sure enough they know where it is.

Of course Jonathan asks why he'd done so in the first place.

"This was bound to happen eventually, no harm in preparing" he tells him.

Ghiaccio has been doing everything he can to save his loved ones life (could be a partner or a close relative) he's lost everything in his pursuit of finding a cure and has turned to crime to sustain his research.

Eventually he's caught and is extremely aggressive. He can't get locked up, not when he's so close to a cure.

He confrontational but when darling is able to figure out what's going on she tries to offer him help when she can. Gets that loved one visitation rights and eventually when they do die she's able to get him a livestream of the funeral.

It sucks but he understands that that was the best she could do, she didn't even need to do that at all but she did. She's helping him process all of this, seems to be the only one who really understands him now.

[Bitch (me) has not made a Cioccolata banner yet]

I don't really know much about Maxx so I'll probably but Prosciutto (or Prosciutto could be the Penguin so I'll cover that in the next ask. I just think it suits his sharp and sophisticated personality)

Scarecrow Cioccolata works to well, he was the asylums most valuable worker until the reforms under Jonathan's request. Then darling came along. His methods were a lot more experimental, he got the information he wanted but it was of haphazard quality compared to hers. He has the knowledge but lacks the compassion. Of course when she finds out all the horrible things he's done she reports him and he gets fired and investigated. He ends up going missing, everyone assumes he ran away before he could get charged with anything.

Then she gets a package at her door. It releases a gas and she begins to have horrible hallucinations. Eventually she comes back to in the police station. Turn out the package had a letter too from Cioccolata basically threatening her life. Joesph was actually the one to bring her in after he saw her it that state when he came over to visit, he's covered in bruises and scratches but assures her he knows she didn't mean too.

He offers to help her grab her stuff and let her stay at the mansion until he's caught. His brother's aren't going to mind and there's alot of space.

Melone would be the riddler or clue master... leaning towards riddler. He actually has some personal history with darling. When talking with Ceaser she spots a piece of evidence he was going over and recognizes the hand writing, she tells him to come to hers. When they arrive she grabs out a pretty box, it's her high-school time capsule. She wasn't meant to open it til the ten year reunion but she's opening it now. Grabs out her yearbook and a letter. Turns out Melone is her high school ex. He was kind of a weirdo in high school and she would never have dated him if she had the confidence she has now back then. She cringes at seeing their prom photos.

Melone assumed she'd left after university like she said she would back in high school. If she gets caught up in one of his operations he's definitely going to take the time to talk with her. After all, she's the one who got away.

Ok so I don't know a whole lot about mad hatter but I'm going to try my best. Kira has tried every thing he possibly could to keep his urges in check, including some alternative forms of therapy but nothing worked.

Eventually he deludes himself into believing he's the normal one, everyone else is crazy and he needs to fix that. He's learnt a lot about hypnosis from his past and intends to use that knowledge to fix things.

He's caught after his recent attempted murder, brought into the asylum and darling is asigned to him. He's labeled as a low threat and no one really knows about his hypnosis thing yet. The moment he sees her he knows she's the one and his "thoughts" become very evident to darling. She's immediately out and refuses to work with him, but unfortunately he's only cooperating with her.

Esidisi as clayface works, he can only keep a certain shape for a limited about of time before he melts back into his regular form. He's a real smooth talker. I think Kars would end up breaking him, Wammu and Saitana. Convinces them of his cause, after all they're all proof of man's willingness to mangle the natural order.

[super-unpredictable98]

The Eighth Child (~TUA AU~) - Season 4

Chapter 1: Your Dreams Came True, Now What?

Warning: Strong language, guns

a/n: Hello everyone! I really missed The Eighth Child and I hope you all have as well. We can all agree this season was pure bullshit, so here I am with a very short series of chapters to fix it. Welcome to the final show, hope you all like it <3 also thank you so much @jozstankovich for supporting me and being my guinea pig beta reader

(The Eighth Child Masterlist)

"Of course we're coming, Dieguito!" Victoria said on the phone while trying to tame Fortune's big curly mane. "Tunnie is very excited to play with Gracie and the twins. Alright, see you later!"

"Lunch is ready," Klaus called from the kitchen. He wore a frilly apron on top of his completely normal and absolutely not flamboyant outfit. "No no no! Fortune, don't run, we don't wanna get hurt, right?"

"Right, a safe girl is a happy girl!" She repeated what her father always said.

Something about the pandemic mixed with Fortune growing into her own person, realizing Victoria was no longer indestructible, and Klaus staying fully sober, made him into a complete nut job. He was scared of absolutely anything and everything that could harm him and his family. The idea of dying and not being there to raise his kids was too much for him to even think about.

"You too, Liebling, you're in no condition to run," he caressed her baby bump.

Victoria and Klaus started off their married life as happy as can be, but the real world was right ahead and with his new sobriety and paranoia, it became harder and harder for her to... how should one put it... feel attracted to him.

Klaus was a completely changed man, his wife didn't necessarily like that. But alas, every once in a while, they still had some romance and of course she got pregnant by chance one of those times.

"I'm not sick, Klausie. Don't you remember when I was pregnant with Fortune and we would party all night in the clubs near campus? I was fine and so is she."

"I know, I know, but we were totally irresponsible! The world was different too, no COVID for starters..." He shivered before taking a bite of his risotto.

Victoria sighed, looking at the several cardboard boxes surrounding them. Right after marrying, she used her saved money to rent the apartment she used to rent back in her college days with Klaus, she loved that place and it was special to begin their new lives there.

After about a year, she made enough money with her bakery for a downpayment on the apartment. But now with their second child on the way, it wasn't viable to live in such a tiny place, even though it hurt to let it go.

"Something wrong, Mommy?" Fortune asked, seeing her mother's face. Sadness, conformity, longing, and a little disgust in her eyes.

"No, baby, I'm okay," Victoria sighed, but her husband also noticed that look. It had started about two and a half years ago when he was really focused on his sobriety journey, she seemed to simply lose interest in the person he was becoming.

Every morning, he woke up afraid she'd be gone. Every day when she left for work, he was scared she'd meet someone more exciting that would fill that void he unwillingly left behind. He was terrified she'd leave him like she did back when they were younger.

"Hey, Schatzi, since Fortune is having that sleepover with Gracie tonight, we should do something special," Klaus suggested.

"Like what?" She gave him that vacant look like she was dead inside.

"Romantic dinner, watching a movie, some... special cuddles," he winked.

"Sure," she sighed. Something horribly dangerous happens when your dreams come true... You're stuck with them.

**

"Die Hard!" Diego opened the door to Brigaderia Oito, Victoria's bakery. "How's it going? How's Klus?"

"It's alright, he's... sober," she mumbled. "Ah Dieguito, married life isn't what I signed up for."

"Trouble in paradise, huh? It's tough, marriage is hard work. I feel like everything I do is meaningless, but in the end, we're with the people we love, and we have amazing kids. We built something good."

"I guess so," she nodded, giving him his usual carrot cake with gooey brigadeiro on top. "I just wish Klaus would go back to being... Klaus. Not the drugs you know, but the wild nature, it's like he's broken. We barely ever have sex anymore."

"Ew! I don't wanna hear about that!" Diego pretended to gag. "My two siblings having sex? Barf!"

She rolled her eyes and placed her hand on her belly before turning to get Grace's birthday cake. She baked it and decorated it herself with cute jungle animals.

"Oh, it looks amazing!" He gasped. "How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing, it's part of her present. Only the best for my goddaughter."

"Thank you so much, Vicky," he smiled, giving her a hug over the counter and giving her belly a pat. "Already know if it's a girl or a boy?"

"Not yet, we'll get to know on the next ultrasound."

"Hope it's a boy this time, my little man needs more friends, he's drowning in estrogen."

She huffed and gave him a playful shove. "Keep the cake in the fridge."

"Thanks a million, Vicky! I'll see you later."

"See you later," she turned to pick up the phone. "Hello, Brigadeiria Oito, how can I help you?"

"It's me, Schnucki!" Klaus said into the phone. "I just picked up Fortune from school, she choked on the pulp of her orange juice."

"What? Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's okay now, she just had a little coughing fit and was back to normal... it's just, that she got scared and wanted to come back home."

"Klaus! I can't believe you pulled our daughter out of school because she lightly choked on juice! You're gonna ruin her with all this coddling!"

"She was scared!"

"Because she sees you scared all the damn time!"

"We can talk about this later after the party. She's here now and listening."

"Why did you put me on speaker?"

"Holding a cell phone close to your ear isn't good because the temperature-"

"JESUS CHRIST! SHUT UP!" She shouted and only then she noticed there was a client waiting for her. "Just a second, I'll be with you in no time..."

"Why are you like this? Pregnancy hormones driving you crazy?" He asked.

"No, Klaus, you are! Talk to you later, I have to work... someone has to work in this household!"

**

"Why is Mama mad at you?" Fortune asked as she rode in the back of Allison's car with Claire and her father to the party venue.

"Mama is nervous because she's pregnant, that makes mommies a little angry sometimes," Klaus said, adjusting her seat belt for the millionth time.

"She said it wasn't because of the baby."

"Alright... you know, sometimes daddies and mommies fight, my Tunnie baby, but that doesn't mean it's forever and it doesn't mean something bad is gonna happen."

"What if you two split?" The little girl frowned.

"That's not happening, your parents have been attached at the hip since they were toddlers," Allison chuckled. "It was kinda disgusting."

"If you're Aunt Vicky's sister and Uncle Klaus' sister... does that mean they're siblings too?" Claire asked.

"That's a very long very lovely story for when you're a little bit older, Claire-bear" Klaus said before turning back to his daughter. "My little princess, don't worry about mommy, okay? I'm always here for you, and she'll always be here for you too, we love you more than the entire universe. It's just that things changed a little, but nothing that cannot be fixed."

"Hey, guys!" Victoria waved at them once they parked, she was bringing four boxes of party sweets, Brazilian style of course... beijinho, brigadeiro, bicho de pé, ninho e nutella, casadinho.

"Hey! Hey! Don't go around carrying that! You're in no condition!" Klaus took his car helmet off and rushed to help her with the boxes.

"Relax, she's pregnant, not dead," Lila came right behind with the huge bottles of soda.

"Leave it to me," he insisted.

Once they were inside, Grace and the twins came running to meet Claire and Fortune. Victoria hugged her nieces and nephew, as did Klaus before Diego gave them a look and pointed with his eyes to the doll house which was secluded and empty.

"We need to talk," she mumbled.

"Yeah... don't take your eyes off Fortune, Claire," Klaus asked. "Don't let her eat or drink anything with red 40 or 4-MEI!"

"You say as if we didn't sneak out at least three times a week to stuff our faces with doughnuts at Griddy's..." Victoria sighed as she pulled him to the doll house.

"We had superpowers and it was a different time, we were young and dumb."

"We enjoyed life," she sat down on a tiny pink chair. "We don't need to feed our child crack, but if she drank a little coke once in a while, she'll be fine!"

"What happened to us?" He looked up with puppy eyes. "We haven't fucked since we conceived this baby, you look at me like I'm a pile of cow shit, you turn your face when I go to kiss you..."

"It just hurts to see what you became. This isn't the man I married. You need therapy."

"This again? No therapy! I don't need it and we probably can't afford it."

"You're going insane!"

"Give me a chance, okay? I promise I'll make it right tonight when we get home."

She nodded, wanting more than anything to believe him. "Alright, let's see about tonight."

When the couple left the doll house, the entire family was already there, well almost the entire family.

"Oh give me a break... fake Ben is here? Who invited him?" Victoria huffed, she never really accepted Sparrow Ben as a part of the family, because he wasn't. She was even a little happy when he was arrested, meaning he'd stay away.

"Believe me, I didn't wanna be here either," he rolled his eyes.

"Come on guys, no fighting!" Luther emerged from the ball pit. "It's a family night."

"Yeah, you're right, can't let him ruin it... Cincooooo!" She went to hug Five. "Look at you, all grown up! It's like every day you get bigger, come here, little CIA man!"

"I'm not a damn child, you know?" He reluctantly hugged her back. "And I'm not little!"

"Where's Viktor?" She asked.

"He said he was coming," Luther smiled.

"Victoria, can we go outside for a little bit? I'm hyperventilating, this place is so full of people and nobody's wearing a mask," Klaus whispered.

She shook her head defeated. "Just take deep breaths, honey, it's okay. Did you see fake Ben is back? Look, our brothers are here, we're still waiting for Viktor though."

"Vicky!" Diego called from a corner while holding a piñata.

She was happy to leave Klaus to calm down for a moment and join her other brother. "What's up?"

"Does this look like a West Side piñata to you? I mean, it's clearly East Side, right?"

"Um... what's the difference?"

"The fringe, the eyes, the colors! And the fact that Lila told me she'd be on the West Side today and this looks like an East Side piñata."

"Oh Dieguito... don't overthink, it's probably a misunderstanding, let's not jump to conclusions, alright?"

"Maybe you were right, you know? I work all day and it kills me, the kids suck whatever energy I have left, and the in-laws... I'm glad they're alive in this timeline, but I don't want them living in our house."

Victoria nodded, understanding the feeling, but she didn't want their marriage to end because of her own doubts.

"Hey, cariño, come on... I know I didn't like Lila when you first got together, but she really grew on me. She's a good mom and she really loves you. It's just a rough patch."

"Liebling, please... can we step out just a little bit?" Klaus approached them.

Accepting her fate, she nodded and took his hand so they could get some fresh air. But the moment she stepped out, she knew something was wrong, there was a wrapped gift on the pavement and she picked it up.

"From Uncle Viktor?" She read the card.

"Why would he leave the gift on the street and take off?" Klaus wondered.

She started looking around for clues and after some inspection, she found a note on her windshield.

"Your brother Viktor has been kidnapped. Follow my exact instructions and no harm will come to him," she read the contents of the note. "Fucking shit cunt ass motherfucker... let's get the others."

**

After leaving Lila's parents in charge of the party, the old Hargreeves clan and Lila jumped into Diego's van and they headed to the address written on the note.

"Everyone stay behind me, I got a gun," Five announced, pulling his revolver as they entered the dry cleaner corresponding to the number they were given.

"Did you bring a gun to a children's birthday party?" Klaus hissed, his face covered by a gas mask. "Can you smell this? This place is a chemical wasteland."

"Says the man who made me swim in the fucking sewer six years ago," Victoria huffed.

"It's Viktor!" Luther pointed at the short man tied up to a chair with a bag over his head.

She ran and got the bag off. "Oh hey, Vik, long time no see!"

"Hey Vic yourself..." he mumbled as she started untying him with the help of Luther.

"Who kidnapped you? Dad and his goons?" She asked.

"I doubt it, this is amateur hour," Five shook his head.

"I apologize if my methods are a little crude, but it's my first kidnapping," A man came from the back. He looked harmless enough, but he held a gun, so out of instinct, Victoria stood in front of Klaus like a shield. "Hopefully it'll be my last, but I need your help."

"Kidnapping our brother and pointing a gun at us won't buy you much goodwill," Five murmured, pointing his gun at the man.

"It was the only way I could make sure you came here, all of you. I couldn't leave anything to chance, especially when it comes to the Umbrella Academy."

"Wow, haven't heard that name in years!" Victoria scoffed.

"Sorry pal, the Umbrella Academy doesn't exist," Five said.

"Only in our hearts," she completed.

The man put the gun down and opened a box full of artifacts, pictures, newspaper articles, masks, action figures...

"Oh look! The time we saved the Eiffel Tower! Remember?" Vicky smiled. "Zombie Gustav Eiffel!" She said in a silly voice.

"Where did you get this?" Diego asked.

"It was all in this box in the back of my daughter's car. Her name is Jennifer."

"Ugh, I hate that name," Victoria groaned, she had hated this name since the incident that took her brother's life.

"I don't know where she got it, but about a year ago she met these new friends and she started going to these strange meetings. Some very strange people, call themselves The Keepers. And then over time, she stopped talking to me, I believe something terrible happened, because we were very close."

Klaus picked Dave's dog tags from the box and frowned, which made Victoria's blood boil. She was very understanding of that whole thing when it happened, but lately, she didn't need much to get angry at him.

"Put that shit back!" She snagged the chain from his hands and threw it in the box.

"Sorry, sorry..." He mumbled.

"How did you find us?" Luther asked.

"I saw you on TV, Toss N' Wash," the strange man pointed at Allison.

"Ha! See? No small parts," Klaus poked his sister's shoulder.

"I've been watching you for a while actually and I apologize. I'm so sorry! I know you'd probably kill me if you could," the man looked at Victoria. "But she's all I have left, you must know what that feels like."

"I actually do," she sighed. "But we're not the same as we were, we don't have powers anymore."

"Yeah, we're not special," Diego agreed.

"Speak for yourself, tubby," Ben whispered under his breath and earned a punch in the shoulder from Victoria.

"I might not have powers, but I can kick your ass!"

"Give us 24 hours, we'll find your daughter," Five took the box quickly.

"Yes! Thank you!" The man cried. "Thank you very much, Umbrella Academy! I think you're special!"

"Five! What are you doing?" Allison hissed, following him outside. "You know we can't help, why did you do that?"

"Because... of this," Five pulled out a jar of marigold from the box.

**

"What I wanna know is how the daughter of a dry cleaner ends up with a jar of marigold in the trunk of her car," Five wondered.

The siblings decided to grab dinner at a Japanese restaurant and discuss their theories.

"Could it be something to do with Dad?" Klaus clumsily shoved rice into his mouth with the chopsticks (because of course, raw fish was too dangerous to eat with all the contamination risks)

"No, he took away our powers, and for good reason," Victoria shook her head.

"How do we know that's not just glow stick juice?" Diego teased.

"For the sake of discussion, let's say this is legit. Does anyone here actually want their power back?" Five asked.

"No way!" Klaus yelped. "For the first time in my life, I'm sober... and happy. And most importantly 100% poltergeist free."

"You're anything but free, you don't leave the house and you wear gloves and a mask in public," Victoria pointed out.

"At least I'm in control."

"Hmm I smell divorce," Ben taunted.

"Shut the fuck up! You're not even one of us, fuck off," she grabbed the jar of marigold and held tightly to it.

"It's a hard no for me too. I have a bar, a life..." Viktor quickly said to end the discussion.

"You're all such losers, we should be mainlining this shit right now!" Ben groaned.

"Whoever wants powers back, raise your hand!" Victoria stood up. Nobody raised their hands except Ben.

"We have everything we need," Lila shrugged.

"Damn right, and as much as I hate Dad, he's extremely intelligent. He took away our powers because they were the cause of apocalypse after apocalypse after apocalypse. This way we are safe and the world is safe. Majority wins and I'm taking this cause I don't trust you, little weasel." Victoria shoved her finger in Ben's face. "Now let's go home, and stop flossing in public, Klaus, fucking disgusting. You're not making me wanna have sex with you any more by being gross."

Tag List: @salvador-daley @seanfalco