#guess what we're pen pals

[kentocalls]

I think 4 is a great seat! Ume seems like a great person to sit next to ❤️

cutie you GET IT !!!!!!!!!

[thewertsearch]

@manorinthewoods asked: We're still midway through Act 5, but I'd like to ask - what do you theorise will happen in the rest of A5 and in Acts 6 and 7 of Homestuck? ~LOSS (7/6/24)

It's an interesting question. We're coming up on the halfway point of the comic, but our current main plotlines - namely, Murderstuck, the Blackout, the Green Sun and the Scratch - all feel like they'll be wrapped up in a thousand-ish pages, along with the kids' session and the Act itself. The question of what's next is beginning to present itself, and I have a few thoughts.

My main prediction is that back half of the comic will be extremely English-centric. As the man behind Scratch's schemes, he's going to be revealed as the 'true' villain who's ultimately responsible for the current crisis, as well as crises yet to come. I think he'll elbow Perfect Jack out of the primary antagonist's position - and honestly, his chief minion is already more intimidating than Jack.

To contrast Noir, I think English will be a less instinctive, more cerebral villain. His choice of Scratch as a lieutenant suggests that he's more about carefully laid plans than open aggression, and his absence from the Felt Intermission suggests he prefers to hide in the shadows, weaving a web of conspiracy that would put Vriska to shame.

As a result, I expect the next arc of Homestuck to be more about information warfare than flashy displays of power. Our heroes will need to advance their understanding of the multiverse's wider cosmology, as they come to terms with what English is, what he wants, and most importantly, how to stop him.

The later arcs of the comic will involve discovering a glitch in spacetime that can break through English's supposed invincibility, while English works to keep the protagonists in the dark about his weaknesses. How this weakness could manifest, I can't say - but I do think Spades Slick will be directly involved in his demise.

Outside of English, I think the world of Homestuck will expand in other ways, too. It might finally be time to make contact with other Sburb Players, since our current sessions aren't going to be habitable for much longer. We might even be leaving the 'session' framework behind entirely, and travelling through the Furthest Ring to parts unknown.

I know these aren't very specific predictions, but it's hard to be specific about events which are thousands of pages away. I still don't know how the Pen-Pal fits into everything, for example, or why Gamzee is so important to the story.

I guess we'll find out together!

[werepuppy-steve]

like june, august was also a rough month. work has been kicking my ass more and more lately, leaving me little to no time to enjoy my hobbies. i've been playing video games more recently to get my brain to relax and unwind more than i've been reading, admittedly. but we're trying our best.

something new this time: a gen rec section where i rec any non stranger things/steddie fics i read for the month!

<- july fic rec • more fic recs • my ao3

you were warm when everything was cold - G, 5.4k, complete @lesbianrobin

tags: lumax, background steddie, established relationship, masculinity crisis, lucas centric

There’s something about watching Steve and Eddie that makes his chest ache, just a little bit. Something that feels like it’s just out of reach, like if he could just jump an inch higher he could grasp it and know what it is, have a name for it, figure out what feels like it’s missing with Max. He never felt like something was missing with Max before. She was perfect. She is perfect! Like, sure, not actually perfect, because nobody’s actually perfect, but she’s perfect for him just like he hopes he’s perfect for her, and they’re perfect together. Maybe Lucas is overcompensating.

Sweet Boy - E, 2/2, complete Ghost_ing_Temptations

tags: dom/sub, puppy play, accidental subspace, good boy steve harrington

Steve is used to it by now, the teasing 'good dog's thrown his way, the occasional 'fetch.' He's not sure when the idea of him as the Party's resident guard dog started, but he's gotten over the swirling feeling in his stomach at those words... pretty much. Regardless, Robin is capable of convincing him of anything. So here he is hosting a Halloween get together dressed in ears, a tail and the real kicker - a collar. What could go wrong?

Horny for Horsepower - E, 2.5k, complete Oralmystery

tags: crackfic, transformers au, masturbation

Steve is a transformer and Eddie is the mechanic in love with him. Dustin accidentally spills soda all over Steve’s backseat and Eddie has to clean it up. In spite of Eddie's best efforts the sticky situation only gets stickier.

future in your hand (signed, sealed, delivered) - T, 10.3k, complete formous_iniquis

tags: no upside down au, penpals, childhood friends to lovers, appalachian eddie, road trips

Dear Eddie, Mrs. Simpson says I’m supposed to thank you for volunteering to be my partner even though you’re a fifth grader. I don’t know why I should though since now I actually have to do this stupid pen pal project. I know she only paired me with an older kid cause she thinks I’m dumb. But thanks for the extra work I guess. Sincerely (cause we aren’t friends), Steve Harrington --- Assigned to be pen pals elementary school, Steve and Eddie find themselves growing closer than they could have imagined as children. Sending letters where they become confidants, friends, and more over the years they write to one another. Nearly a decade after they start an incident sends Steve himself to Eddie. The two leave Hawkins and road trip together to their Happily Ever After.

Burnin' for You - T, 7.1k, complete @soaringornithopter

tags: no upside down au, modern au, t4t steddie, mutual pining, getting together

During a record breaking heatwave, the residents of Hawkins are forced to endure rolling blackouts. Eddie learns he can't handle the unbearable heat and takes steps to try to improve his situation. While on the hunt for work, he repeatedly crosses paths with Steve, who decides to invite Eddie over to take a break from the weather by enjoying the Harrington's pool and reliable central air conditioning. It may take a few visits before they finally get what they both want.

crush notes - T, 4/4, complete @steddiecameraroll

tags: post-s2, secret admirer, getting together

“So, you’re getting love letters?” “Well, I wouldn’t call them love letters, more like crush notes…” Eddie Munson has a secret admirer. He has no idea who it could be, but maybe his new friendship with the one and only Steve Harrington can come in handy.

honeysuckle - E, 2.4k, complete (ao3) @hawkinsbnbg

tags: dom/sub, breeding kink, cock cages, face slapping, daddy kink, good boy steve harrington, overstimulation, prostate milking

Eddie didn't look upset per se. He looked— Amused. Like he knew exactly why Steve acted that way and was more than ready to make it worse.

hidden lace - E, 2.8k, complete (ao3) @steddieas-shegoes

tags: lingerie, secret relationship, car sex, public sex, top eddie, bottom steve

Steve is pissed at Eddie. Like, genuinely pissed. Not that cute, haha my boyfriend was being annoying but I love him, pissed. The kind where if he saw him right now, he’d do something really stupid, like yell or break up with him. And he knew he didn’t actually want to do that.

Bark At The Moon - T, WIP @evillittleguy

tags: pre-series, canon rewrite, werewolf steve, pining

He just wants to go home. He doesn’t even know what home is anymore. He rolls onto his butt and sits in the dirt. Alone in the woods he lets himself cry.  After the worst of it is over and he’s sniffling away the snot and the tears- wiping with his sleeve- he realizes he’s being watched and freezes. In front of him only a few feet away a small honey-brown wolf is poorly hidden in the underbrush.

Coming home to you - E, 1.3k, complete @just-my-latest-hyperfixation

tags: established relationship, post series, fluff and smut, soft dom eddie, sub steve, dry humping

Eddie is halfway through composing an absolutely sick riff when the front door slams shut. The sound rattles the walls of the apartment and sends one of their framed photos askew. Eddie blinks, pulling off his headphones and taking a few moments to get his bearings. It’s starting to turn dark outside and his stomach is rumbling. Shit, for how long was he out?  “Stevie? You home?” he calls, but the apartment stays quiet, bar for the creak of the bedroom door and the thud of a body hitting the mattress. Eddie frowns, setting the guitar aside and padding across the hallway.

don't' want to move on - E, 3.1k, complete (ao3) @steddieas-shegoes

tags: modern au, exes to lovers, frottage

If Steve knows one thing, it’s that Eddie knows how to get under his skin and in his bed. Ever since their breakup, a disaster of epic proportions for the entire friend group, Steve’s kept his distance from every possible interaction with Eddie. He’s made sure to find reasons to miss group outings and put himself on the schedule at work on the nights when he knew Eddie would be at movie nights or dinner. He purposely scheduled pool parties for days and times he knew Eddie would be busy. But he couldn’t get out of this one. And now he has Eddie’s eyes on him from across the room, staring into his soul, reading his mind probably.

Heartache to Heartache - E, 1.7k, complete (ao3) @steddie-island | kintsugi_kid

tags: established relationship, make up sex, top eddie, bottom steve

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Eddie had asked. His hands shook with his anger, his frustration, with the desire to grab this stupid beautiful boy by the shoulders. "What the fuck, Steve?" "I was helping," Steve said, clearly confused. "I just wanted to help—" "No, you were just using Daddy's money to make problems go away again." Steve had winced at that, but then he'd straightened his spine. "Yeah, I used my dad's money. So what? Why does it matter how it got paid for?" or Steve and Eddie have a fight. And then they get to make up about it.

Do it for him - T, 1.5k, complete (ao3) @steddie-island | kintsugi_kid

tags: established relationship, medical trauma, hurt/comfort

"I'm worried about you," Eddie had whispered in bed one morning, when Steve was in that soft space between sleep and wakefulness. "I know your hearing is getting worse, and you need glasses… I know you didn't get looked at after everything, and I get why, but…" He'd kissed Steve's hair, his temple, his cheek. "I can't lose you. Please, Stevie. For me?" That was all it had taken for Steve to finally give in. or Eddie helps Steve face his fears and get himself checked out.

Safe With You - E, 4.8k, complete (ao3) @hotluncheddie

tags: established relationship, daddy kink, under-negotiated kink, hurt/comfort, soft dom eddie, sub steve

‘Tell me something.’ Eddie says between kisses, quiet and deep and Steve feels like there’s whisky in his belly, thrumming through his veins. Drunk on Eddie Munson. ‘Tell me what you like, show me. Let me help baby.’ His hooded eyes pull Steve in, fingers stroking hairs away from his forehead and lips pressing kisses to his cheekbones. Steve doesn’t know how to answer, how to ask for something he wants. ‘No, I. Te-tell me what you like.’ He says, pulling Eddie’s shirt up and off, giving himself a moment away from eye contact, away from the vulnerability Eddie draws out of him. Eddie lets his T-shirt be tossed away, pulling Steve close and swaying them again gently. Slowing the moment once more. ‘Mmm, I like lots of things. Like making pretty boys feel good, for one.’ He ponders, hand soothing up and down Steve’s back. ‘And you, honey, are the prettiest guy I’ve ever seen.’ He smiles, teeth glinting in the soft lamplight. Steve ducks his head as his cheeks flush, smiling, hiding in Eddie’s shoulder. (Or Steve and Eddie try something new, it doesn't quite go to plan, but they talk it through.)

Beautiful Decline - M/E, series, WIP Izzy_Grinch | @troublemakingrebel

tags: assassin's creed valhalla, ceolvarr, rough sex, age difference, secret relationship, good boy ceolbert, falling in love, fix it fic

On a celebration that takes place the night after his father has been crowned a new King of Mercia, Ceolbert feels unwisely bold and seeks Ivarr's company.

Of Dandelions and Nettles - E, 22.3k, complete Izzy_Grinch | @troublemakingrebel

tags: assassin's creed valhalla, ceolvarr, friends to lovers, age difference, first time, ivarr lets ceol-baby get away with so much and everyone is shocked, drunk sex, morning after, flower language

Even when Ceolbert messes up Ivarr's game of Orlog, his plans to pass out drinking and his intentions to wake up alone, Ivarr lets him, as he lets his own hands wander into Ceolbert's hair and down his pliable skin.

Hay Fever - E, 5/5, complete Izzy_Grinch | @troublemakingrebel

tags: assassin's creed valhalla, ceolvarr, age difference, friends to lovers, not so secret relationship, time skips, sexual tension,they fuck in so many stables yall

All it takes is a snap of the last straw. Over the course of five chapters, Ceolbert walks a path from his father's son to a Prince, to an Ealdorman, to a King, each milestone celebrated with Ivarr by his side in the questionable privacy of the local stables.

The Skillful Hunter - M, 5/5, complete hapaxlegomena

tags: assassin's creed valhalla, ceolvarr + ubba, age difference, impotence

Ivarr and Ceolbert pass a year together. Hunting, learning the art of war, and other things a man has to know.

[pluckyredhead]

The Lost Titans in Canon: Jason and Eddie

Because I am very normal and VERY excited to finally start posting The Lost Titans on Monday (mark your calendars!), I'm also going to start doing some in-depth posts on the canon relationships between these characters. Some have a lot of history, some have only met in passing, and some (Koryak) have never been allowed to hang out with anyone outside of the ocean.

We're starting with Jason and Eddie, whose relationship is referenced in exactly two (2) comics, but it has me in a chokehold anyway.

The first of these is Blue Devil #19, where we learn that Jason and Eddie are pen pals:

THESE BABIES. I AM DYING.

(In case you can't read the cursive, Eddie's letter says "That jewel thief had been hitting the posh Rodeo Drive shops like clockwork - one every Saturday! So when I learned Miggles' was displaying the Star of Pakistan, it was an easy guess where he'd show up next!" and Jason's says "Dear Kid Devil, Thank you for writing to me! I think being pen pals is a swell idea and I'm looking forward to reading all about your adventures! But to start with, let me tell you about a case I'm working on right now...!")

It does sort of make sense that Jason and Eddie would have been teamed up, because they were pretty much the only kids in the DCU at this point - it was 1985, and the Titans were all around 18, while Jason and Eddie were like...12 or 13, maybe? And I genuinely can't think of any other kid characters from around that time.

Anyway, it is a very short story - only four pages - but it ends with the boys realizing they fought the same bad guy and teaming up to catch him:

I love how much shorter Eddie is than Jason. What a little nugget.

The only other reference to this friendship comes literally 22 years later, in Teen Titans #42, after Eddie gets his powers. While running over his origin, he drops this:

THAT'S RIGHT, EDDIE BLOOMBERG IS RIDE OR DIE AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT. Fun fact: Jason had actually come back from the dead two years before. It's unclear if Eddie knows that, because he uses the word "was" here - Jason did attack Tim in Titans Tower in #29, but that was before Eddie joined the team, so who knows?

Anyway, that's the Jason and Eddie friendship in canon! Now I am going to go back to writing letters to DC begging them to let these two team up again.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Spicy

JD Barker: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the bad app JD Barker: it's a spicy story about an app that you download on your phone JD Barker: but this app JD Barker: is a little JD Barker: spicy

JD Barker: boy let me tell you JD Barker: it's tough to get word out about a new book these days King: tell me about it! King: i keep posting but nothing's making a dent! King: there's got to be a better way! JD Barker: there is!

JD Barker: i've got a fool proof way to generate publicity for a book King: oh? well, don't just stand there -- tell us! JD Barker: ok, you guys ready for this? JD Barker: might want to get a pen ready to write this down JD Barker: cuz this is gonna be JD Barker: a little spicy

Clive Barker: hey before you say anything, i just wanna remind everyone i am a different person Clive Barker: just really feelin' the need to get out in front and say that

JD Barker: so here's my idea JD Barker: you get booktok influencers to take off their clothes King: Poe: Lovecraft: Clive Barker: Koontz: JD Barker: cuz this book is SPICY!

Koontz: [writing down] "you get booktok influ-" Poe: no no dean Poe: don't write that down Koontz: but he said Poe: it's ok dean just shh Poe: don't worry about it

Angela Carter: you're going to -- !!! Carter: wow Carter: of all the blatantly misogynistic Carter: exploitative JD Barker: [tugging collar] uh oh! Carter: predatory Carter: sexist JD Barker: [tugging intensifies]

JD Barker: or you could get them to do a video answering the question "what's the craziest place you ever had sex?" JD Barker: any questions? Mary Shelley: hey i got SEVERAL fuckin questions JD Barker: [tugging collar] uh oh! Shelley: you say you're paying for this? Angela Carter: mary, no Shelley: shut up this is easy money

JD Barker: oh yeah, we're gonna pay the big bucks to get spicy JD Barker: like, maybe $100 Mary Shelley: oh fuck off

JD Barker: wow listen turns out there's been a little mistake JD Barker: a real whoopsie doodle JD Barker: you're gonna laugh Carter: yeah? try me JD Barker: ha ha JD Barker: [tugging collar] ohhh

JD Barker: this was all just a misunderstanding JD Barker: see, this wasn't my idea JD Barker: it was the PR firm i hired Carter: then guess i need to talk to the head of that firm JD Barker: [collar tugging intensifies]

JD Barker: [wearing hot dog suit] look we're all just trying to find out who did this

[loveyou3000mylove]

Prompts, Tropes and Ideas series

thy should see

the reader/protagonist doesnt  relise they are falling in love with s/o\other character

Works best for fics where they have powers or something....

IDEA

Example:

1.Y/n subconsciously smiled when Damian pinned Beast boy, effortlessly winning the sparring battle. Rolling her eyes when Damian moved toward her in a 'cocky' scowl "'Didn't take you for a smiler Miss. L/n" Damian spoke, with a raised brow  ''I'm not, obviously? l was just thinking of how easily l could pin you.'' She replied with a smirk, a hint of challenge in her voice.

IDEA

2. Soulmate AU (where the soulbond is when ever the other touchs the other it leaves an imprint)

Prompt list

Angst⁂ 

Fluff⌂

 Hurt/Comfort⌁ 

(^^THESE ARE JUST SUGGESTIONS^^)

001: "I hate you so much, but I can't love anyone more." ⌁

002: "How could Cupid be so cruel."⁂

003: You love them, but they don't notice you.⌁

004: I got love to spend but I can't get the chance, I hope they don't mean what they say but I keep seeing them sticking around like they can't get enough so I stay.⌂

005: Reader has closed walls but can't help but blush and stutter at they're advances.⌂

006: "We are not the same, yet we aren't opposites either."⌁

007: "I guess am a bit lonely?"⌂

008: "The curse of the third date, relationships don't last long, so good luck."⌁

009: "I long for you, you complete me."⁂

010: "Pizza after? My treat." "Yea, would love too."⌂

011: "What would I do without your smartass"⌂

012: "Your fine, am fine, we're fine"⁂

013: "You don't deserve her/him, no one does."⌁

014: "Stop tormenting me, I can't get you out of my mind."⌁

015: "You're a distraction I can't ignore."⌁

016: "No one is ever taking you, away from me"⌁

017: "You should've left" "Why" "Everyone else did"

018: "I think I love them" "Took you awhile"

019: "Am not her! Okay, so stop acting like it, stop calling me the wrong name....just be with me, your (y/n)...me"

020: "I had a friend once" "Wht happened?"

021: "I was inlove with you....I am inlove with you"

022: "Can't remember the last time you looked at me like that...why do you do this to me"

Tropes

001: Enemy to Lovers

002: Strangers to Friends

003: Best friends to lovers

004: Couple to Enemies to Lovers

005: Online Friends to Lovers

006: Forbidden Love

007: Unrealistic crush to Lovers (limerence)

008: Boss x Newbie

009: Rival Bands

010: Pen Pals to lovers

011: Platonic Soulmates to Romantic Soulmates

012: Older x Younger (very large gap- 6+ years)

013: Amnesia sufferer x hopelessly in love

014: Side character x side character

015: MC x bestfriend side character

[arrimorr]

Hello! Lately I've gotten a huge inspo boost from your personal projects (especially... birbs....) and fanart

and I started to wonder — what media was the most inspiring for you? How did different fandoms influence you and your art direction?

I simply adore the range of different media that you post and talk about (like starting with scifi and ending with forest whimsy) but I feel like there are still some general trends in your artwork! How would you describe your taste(?) in art direction? Or perhaps it's something not possible to grasp and put into words?

Love your artwork!! Best wishes!!! <3

First of all, THANK YOU for this question, it's really really touching that someone is interested in stuff like this. Also SORRY for not answering for so long, because you are right and this IS a difficult question, partly because I view my art direction and media taste as two separate things. If you want to hear more about...birds...and my thought process behind their development, I made a podcast about them after the second episode released. I'm making a guess that you must follow me somewhere else given that you know about my game, so, if you speak the language I won't name you can listen to my rambling in my vk group.

If we are talking about fandoms I think I was REEEALLY affected by Over the Garden wall and Gravity falls as a kid. As well as a bunch of horror stories, I think "pen pal" was the first horror story that made me fall in love with the genre as well as the concept of kids facing situations that even adults may find difficult to handle. I generally love child adventures that have a darker theme to them. This is present in my...birds...game only in emotional manner, BUT, both of my next games are going to be more direct horror stories, so I hope to play with this a bit more in the future. (Also my friend said that "the left right game" explains a lot about things that I like and write and this IS my favourite horror story of all time so...like, cmon, my next game is literally going to be a creepy roadtrip adventure and this isn't even the first horror roadtrip im going to write)

Tonally I'm really inspired by things made by Davey Wreden (the Stanley parable, The Beginners Guide), One (mp100, opm) and Toby Fox. I just love how these guys manage to create silly light-hearted experiences that are pack full with often times difficult emotions. This is something I REEEALLY want to achieve in my stories. Also the Beginners guide became a really big deal for me as a kid because of the way this game literally spoke with the player. Up until the last couple of years I viewed art solely as a way to reduce loneliness and feel a connection with other people, even through the screen, so my main goal with birdcatchers was to recreate this feeling of personal conversation, even if less direct.

If we're talking about visual style, I'm really inspired by Brecht Evens and Plastiboo, and I got into mixed media because of Чистотел in vk. I won't say that Im anywhere close to these people but they are very inspiring for me. Anyways - my current "philosophy" in art is that I want my pictures to have more air in them and also spend as little time on them as possible. This is easy for me in traditional art (for example these chalk thingies), but still not so much in digital, however you can see that I'm kinda doing the same unfinished line art and blurry colouring thing with it too.

[ahiddenpath]

Hidden's Life

Hi guys, I started writing a journal on my computer, as typing is a lot faster than pen and paper. I am sharing my first entry.

Content warning: It's about the "should I have a kid" debate, and it's way more political than what I usually post on my digimon blog. It gets into climate change, the financial and emotional cost of child rearing, and is leftist in tone. I am really struggling with this topic, and I welcome input and conversations. If you want to talk about it and we're pals on Discord, please do! I want to hear from as many people as possible.

The tone is bleak, but in a matter-of-fact way, if that makes sense?

So, I took a two week vacation. I was in Vegas for a few days for the first time, then in a cabin on a river. I’m not going to talk about that much here. Instead, I’m going to focus on life.

Whenever I have a few days off in a row with no plans (which is rare), I like to touch base with myself on where I am in life. I guess that’s what I’m doing here.

I will say that I’m feeling a lot more rested/restored by this vacation than I have been from my vacations over the last few years. Travel takes a ton out of me, and I’m sensitive to time zone changes and general shifts in routine. I’m surrounded by career scientists, many without children (aka people with money to travel), so it’s common to feel like I’m “missing out” or “doing it wrong” if I’m not visiting 1-3 international spots per year. It turns out that. Um. I actually really like the river cabin. Japan last year was amazing, but I came back jet lagged, exhausted, sick, and with a foot injury from power walking for 10-14 hours per day for 2 weeks. More chill domestic vacations may be the way.

But anyway, I wanted to write down my thoughts on the future.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it here, so pardon me if I have, but… I’ve been dating my husband since we were 14, and we’ve been married for 11 years, together for 21. For nearly two decades, whenever I asked about children, my husband would shrug and say, “Maybe someday.” This year, for the first time, his answer changed to, “I’d like one child, but I’m not sure if it’s ethical.”

As for me, I’ve never been hit with maternal desire. In my early twenties, I assumed I’d marry my now husband, have kids, and be a stay at home parent. I’m not sure… Why I thought that? Other than that I have no career ambition, and my husband was raised by a stay at home parent. It feels a bit weird to say I lack ambition when I’m a career scientist, but it’s true. I just want to get the most money with the least effort and damage to my physical and mental health. I feel, on some level, I’ve been waiting my whole life for some kind of purpose or desire, but these days… I’m beginning to understand that wanting health and happiness is an amazing goal, and that humans aren’t necessarily meant to find fulfillment from our work. It’s okay if family is your goal! It’s okay if being a hobbit is your goal (being comfy, reading books, taking walks, etc)!

I got my first job when I was 15, I had to get my mom to sign a permission form, lol. I saved all my money and invested it as best I could, which was CDs (at the time they had like a 5% return, and as a teenager I did not really understand investing- that kinda remains true). My mom warned me from early on that she had no money to help me, and my father openly gloated about not being financially responsible for me soon. Like, he’d count down and update me every now and then- only five years until you aren’t my problem anymore, girl! Four years, three, two, one. He apparently still doesn’t understand why I went no contact with him.

I’ve never been laid off or between jobs, just. Working and preparing for a future where I was financially independent since I was 15. So again I wonder. Why??? I thought I would be a stay at home parent, lol! My husband is extremely intelligent, and he graduated straight into a programming job that pays more than I will ever make, so that might have been part of it. But when I got my new job 2 years ago, my package became competitive enough that I now actually… Have a career to lose.

What I’m trying to say here is that I feel conflicted about… everything. Why am I in this job that I don’t like, but I excel at and it pays fairly (or at least, it does since the new job two years ago)? Am I going to do this until I’m in my 60s because capitalism? Do I want a kid? Shouldn’t I know if I want a kid? But then, I can barely scrape together the brain juice to decide what I want for dinner most nights, after spending 8 hrs working and 90 min commuting. Is it any wonder I can’t bring myself to figure out if I want huge life changes or not?

Financially, my husband and I are doing well. We have a house, retirement savings, and we can afford our expenses on my husband’s salary alone. Mine is called upon for things we want, like getting a working shower in the master bathroom this year and the laundry list of smaller home improvements we paid for last year. But when you have a house, there is always more to do. Our roof is probably original to the house, which is 36. If I want our fireplace to work, that will cost at least a few grand. Our heater is too small for the house; if we want to use our finished basement more, we need to replace it with an appropriately sized one.

If I quit now, it will be difficult or impossible to do those things (and by the way, I feel like wanting a correct sized heater, a working master shower, a working fireplace, and a safe roof are not, like, super bougie??? God damn shit’s expensive). (And by the way, I'm aware that HAVING these problems is a privilege, and that is INSANE to me). If I wait too much longer, I’ll be unable to deliver a healthy baby (I’m 35). But if I’m going to have a baby, just one baby, then I want to spend time with them.

Meanwhile, there’s the ethical questions. I’ve searched online for: Is it ethical to have a child during the climate crisis? Interestingly, the hits were mostly about the impact each individual human has on emissions and climate change. Listen, sure, if you really want to be conscientious about it, don’t have more than 2 kids, which keeps your family’s population steady at the micro level. But damn, don’t be guilted out of a family, a totally normal thing, while a few corporations destroy the world for profit and tell you to have fewer babies. God damn! The mythos of the individual’s impact on climate change while companies burn fossil fuels for funsies is some high level con work, holy shit.

I’m not worried about my theoretical kid’s carbon footprint. No man, I’m worried about them having access to clean water, reliable power, food, medicine, and places to live that aren’t storm riddled, underwater, on fire, etc. Oh, and clean air. People who are sensitive to air born pollutants are already dying prematurely, and have been for years. The idea that people think climate change is something you “believe in” like fucking Santa Claus is absolute insanity to me. People are already dying, my brother in Christ.

So like, do I raise and rear this child to die early or have poor quality of life starting now, and rapidly declining? True, humans have literally always faced pressures: plague, economic strife, war, the threat of nuclear fallout, etc. We have babies anyway, partially because we don’t all have education and access to reproductive care, but also because having families is just. A totally normal desire, as is not having them! Having them does have an additional biological push behind it; organisms tend to feel reproductive pressure. It’s evolution’s super fun gift (/sarcasm)! In some ways, having kids feels almost necessary, as it makes people feel hope and desire for a better future. But there must be millions of kiddos existing now, and we’re not doing much to make the world more habitable for them on a global scale.

I want to take a moment to clarify that I am not judging anyone for having children. We should be able to have families. It’s insane that we’re facing these pressures, that so little is being done about it. But as someone who does not have any yet, I find myself grappling with these questions.

So yeah. A.) I’m not sure if I want kids, and my lifestyle does not allow much time or space for reflection. B.) I’m not sure if having children is ethical in the year of our lord 2024. C.) As much as I dislike work, I’m not sure if not working is right for me, either. It’s easy to fall into mental health issues without a structured routine. D.) I have a strong desire for financial security, and it was beaten into me from as far back as I can remember. What will the loss of my income do to my mental health? E.) While we can afford our needs on my husband’s salary, relying on one income is always precarious. Layoffs are a constant threat in tech, and injury, mental health crises, and death can come for anyone. F.) When I was in therapy, my therapist specifically advised me not to stop working and rely on my spouse’s income. I know this is good advice for women, lol! Like, truly, I do get it. My therapist knows about my drive for financial security and my strong support for women. I can say, though, that in 21 years with my husband, he’s never given me reason to doubt him. Not once.

I guess that brings me to another fear of having a kid. Obviously I’m terrified of pregnancy and childbirth, and my country has the worst maternal death rate of the developed world (like… by a long shot). I’m already unhappy with my body and my energy levels; bearing and raising a baby is not. Going. To help. But I’m also worried about the division of labor that goes into childrearing. I’m told Millenial men have made huge strides in combating the deadbeat dad. But when I grew up, every family I knew was held together by the mother. My father worked. He did not do anything else. He didn’t cook, clean, play with or watch the kids, do yard work, make doctor appointments, meet with teachers, shop for the family, chauffeur the kids around, any of it. He didn’t even buy Christmas presents for his own parents, my mom had to do that for him. Most of the households I visited seemed to function the same way. I know my husband wouldn’t do that; hell, as it is, he does more than I do, often in the 90 min per day that I spend commuting. But my understanding is that, when it comes to raising kids, women still take on more of the work on average. And I’m not even sure if I want one, lol!

And the other huge concern is the political scene. If Trump wins in November, or just… Idk, stages a coup or whatever, I… Probably won’t reproduce. As I understand, his proposed administration/Project 2025 is looking to defund public education, continue destroying the planet for the profit of a few people, and generally dismantle everything. I don’t think the country would recover within my childbearing years.

Basically, I don’t know what the hell I want. I suppose I can get another job if I lost the one I have, although I’m told competition is stiff. Once you have a baby, though, you uh… You have a kid, lmao! I admit that I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out why one would want a baby. The ‘ol pro/con list isn’t looking too great! Like, babies, okay? The good things (in my mind): as we age, we lose more people. It’s common and understandable to want more people to call your own, especially as we age and as life pulls us further apart from people we knew when we were younger. Some people experience reproductive drives, so there is a driving force. Cons: Pregnancy is body altering and life endangering, children produce a horrific and varied array of fluids, they’re sick all the time and make their parents sick too, daycare costs are a second mortgage for five years in my area, taking them to and from daycare and school around work is next to impossible, they make noises and run around (aka, incompatible with my stimulus issues), and I personally don’t have fond childhood memories or warm feelings about family, thanks to my own difficult upbringing.

This is one of those decisions that doesn’t logic on paper. I’m sure most people would say, “Oh, you don’t use logic for this sort of thing!” But then, like. Uh. What are you doing? I have a coworker who is maybe 15 years older than me who talked to me about people my age not having kids (uninvited, I might add, lmao). She was like, whenever I ask someone your age, they give me all these reasons about money and daycare and the difficulties of navigating work around a family where both parents have full time jobs. You just make it work! You’ll figure it out!

And I remember thinking, Ma’am, your youngest is 12. Daycare didn’t cost $2,000-2,400 per month per kid back then, and mortgages and rent were less. Like, sure, yeah, I’ll just have a kid and feed them hopes and dreams, no problem! Mm, delicious.

I don’t know, man. Sometimes I think about all the folks who will never have kids because they can’t afford them, and I feel so enraged. Or the rising infertility rates as our environment and foods become less healthy and our stress increases. Or I think about the people who have kids but can rarely spend time with them (and desperately want to) because they are trying to get the money they need to take care of them. And then there’s people like me, who are so goddamned tired and overwhelmed by their job that they have no brain space to even… Like… Figure out if they want a kid!

Well, there will be no changes until I see how the election and the possible coup go, so I need to put this down for now.

What a fun sentence.

[bye-shou]

shu yamino × fem!reader❗

characters : shu yamino

side characters : rosemi lovelock, ike eveland, uki violeta, mentions of selen tatsuki, fulgur ovid and vox akuma

warnings : you guessed it, it's fluff so there's pretty much no warnings

summary : you & a pen pal who goes by the name of "ike" decide to meet up after only communicating through writing letters and mailing them to each other's address.

btw you guys turn out to live in the same city and area so the letters come fast

can you tell that i tried to make an ike is shu shu is ike joke

kinda ooc

sorry if the chats look weird

notes :

p/n = pen name

f/c = favorite color

f/s = favorite scent or favorite smell

f/f = favorite food

⇚ ↺ ⇛

today was one day closer to the day you & "ike" are going to meet up after writing to each other for a year, which is tomorrow.

you're really excited to see who your pen pal actually is. you guys have been writing to each other for a while and you were super curious to know the real identity of this so-called "ike".

you woke up, and immediately going to your mailbox which is outside to check for any replies from "ike".

then, you found an envelope with the usual banana sticker that was a sign that the latter was from "ike", and immediately take it inside to see the contents of the letter.

inside, you found a note from "ike".

to : p/n written 06:21 eyy! i'm assuming it's morning for you. tomorrow, we're gonna meet up! i hope you're excited, cause i am! i hope you had a good rest, hm? i'm gonna give you something, by the way! i hope you'll like it! see you then. - ike

you thought about what the gift could be, but you didn't waste time wondering and just decided that you were just gonna wait to see.

you took a paper & pen and started writing to send a note back to him. you placed the paper on a table, sat down and immediately started writing.

to : ike written 07:18 hi ike! good morning. yeah, i'm also excited for tomorrow! so excited i don't know if i'll be able to sleep tonight. you're giving me a gift? how thoughtful! guess i gotta go somewhere and buy something for you too, haha. see you soon! - p/n

when you finished writing, you put it in an envelope and sealed it with a f/c flower seal, and wrote your pen name & address along as the sender address along with "ike's" name & address for the destination address.

when you finished writing, you decided to mail the letter after you ate breakfast and showered.

you went to the bathroom and quickly undressed to take a cold shower since the water is usually still cold during the morning.

then, you got dressed in an oversized black hoodie and some shorts. you decided to just leave your hair as it is since you weren't planning on going anywhere.

you had some toast and poached eggs for breakfast, along with some orange juice. when you finished eating, you went to the sink and washed the dishes.

you then brought the letter you wrote earlier and brought your bag, which has your phone, house keys, motorcycle key and other stuff.

you went outside and locked the door behind you to make sure intruders don't get in, and got on your motorcycle to make your way to the post office.

you turned on your motorcycle, put on your helmet and immediately started driving to the post office, not that far away from your home.

when you arrived, you did what you usually did to mail the letter to your pen pal.

when you finished, you got on your motorbike and put on your helmet before turning on the motorcycle and making your way back to your home.

when you arrived, you unlocked the door and closed it behind you after you enter your home.

you decided to just sit on your sofa while scrolling through tiktok or any other social media you felt like checking.

then, you just went on with your day.

⇚ ↺ ⇛

the next day; 12pm

as always, you woke up, checked your mailbox, read & sent a letter from "ike", ate breakfast, and all that other stuff.

you & "ike" agreed to meet at 1pm at a nearby shopping mall. so, you started getting ready.

you went into your room and took a look inside your closet. then, you picked the following pieces of clothing:

a white shirt with long sleeves and a geometric plaid-patterned, black colored vest over it, a short, black skirt and some knee-high white socks along with some black platformed shoes.

you also brought a small purse, containing your house keys, your phone, some hand sanitizer and whatever you bring to go out.

when you finished, you put on some f/s scented perfume and decided to go out at 12:30, since the mall is 10 minutes away and so you would have plenty of time to stroll around, finding some stuff you guys can do at the mall.

you made sure you locked the door, went up to your motorcycle and started the engine, before driving to that mall.

⇚ ↺ ⇛

12:55; you went to the ramen shop somewhere in the mall where you & "ike" agreed to meet.

you went to the 2nd floor, where the ramen shop you two agreed to meet at was located.

when you arrived, you immediately started looking around to see if "ike" had arrived yet.

then, you spot another person who seems to be looking for someone.

he had brown hair with magenta & purple streaks, with a yellow ahoge resembling somewhat a banana.

he looked back at you, and slightly hesitated to go up to you. but he did.

"hello... are you p/n..?" the boy, who you now believe is "ike", asks you a question.

"hi! yes, i am. and... you are "ike"?" you answer, waving with a smile.

"what's your name?" he asks, trying to spark up a conversation.

"i am 'y/n'! what about you? what's your name?" you say enthusiastically, wanting to give a good impression.

"my name is 'shu'! it's nice to meet you, y/n!" shu gives back the enthusiasm, talking with confidence and a smile plastered on his face.

"likewise, shu!" you also say with a smile of content.

now, you know who your pen pal has been and how he looked like after all this time.

"hm... should we eat here first?" shu asks you. you didn't eat lunch yet, so you agreed.

you both sat down and ordered some food after taking a look at the menu.

you decided to take a picture of both of your foods. you brought out your phone and asked him if you could take a picture of his food too, which he agreed.

when you finished, you both dug in. the food was really good — it didn't take long before you two finished eating.

when you finished, you and shu fought about who should pay. in the end, you split the bill.

"hm... where should we go now?" shu asks, thinking about the stuff you guys could do in the mall.

"oh! i saw an arcade somewhere on the third floor! maybe we could go and play some games there." you suggested, remembering how you saw an arcade when you took a stroll earlier.

"oh, sure! let's go?" shu offers his hand, which you took as you both went up to the escalator to the third floor.

you both started looking for the arcade together, and started going over to the direction of the arcade.

the name of the arcade read "D_D arcade", which is quite a popular place in the mall — so it's surprising that it's not very busy today.

you both walked over to the desk so you can buy points. again, you & shu bantered about who should pay for the both of you, and you ended up paying after he gave up trying to persuade you to let him pay. you both split the points.

you both decided to try some claw machines, since you wanted to try and win a prize for once.

you went up to the machine and fed the machine a few points, before taking control of the controller stick and moving it to a cat plushie.

shu decided to try one of the claw machines himself, and he decided to try and get a banana plushie.

in the end, you both got the plushies you desired, and decided to exchange plushies for the fun of it, and to keep as a memory.

you guys did a couple of other things, like eat ice cream, stroll around, go shopping, and a lot of other things. you both enjoyed each other's company.

"ah! before you go, here's the gift i promised you!" shu rummages through his pockets, before picking a box and giving it to you.

you open the box and find a necklace, one with a flower charm, the same flower design on the seals you use to seal mail.

"wah~ so pretty! thank you, shu!" you thank him, grateful for the gift.

"no problem!" shu smiles happily, knowing that you seem happy with the gift he chose.

sadly, it's time for both of you to go home. you exchanged goodbyes and went back to your homes.

⇚ ↺ ⇛

it's been a few months of you guys meeting up and spending time together. you guys got even closer than you thought you would.

everytime you both met up, there was this unexplainable feeling that you felt, though. like some sort of attraction to shu.

you absolutely loved his cute smile, and liked his contagious laugh. he was also tall, and... 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺?

everytime you both had to part ways, you were always dissappointed you couldn't spend more time.

everytime there was a girl who asked for his number, you felt a sense of 𝘫𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘺 deep down inside you.

you had no idea what was happening to you. what he was doing to you.

you talked to your friend, rosemi, about it, and she went down to one singular conclusion. 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦.

"wha-! no way..." you said to rosemi over call. "even if i did... i should probably stop trying..." you added.

"whaa? why would you?" rosemi asks, confused.

"because there's no way he likes me back-"

"girl! i've seen your insta stories. he looks cute. he seems husband material. are you really gonna let him go? what if he likes you back!" rosemi cuts off what you said earlier.

"well..." you think for a bit. "𝑠ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡... 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑟𝑦... 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑚 𝑖 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 ���𝑜? 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑒𝑠𝑠...?"

"heeey? are you still there?" rosemi's voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

"oh yeah?" you answer quickly, wondering why rosemi called for you.

"uhh, i gotta go. call you later!" rosemi says before ending the call.

⇚ ↺ ⇛

4 months later; in your room with rosemi

"can i borrow your phone?" rosemi asks, her voice sounding a little bored.

"why?" you ask. "no reason. just bored." rosemi says with a smile.

"that smile looks a little sketchy, but okay..." you say before handing over your phone to rosemi.

"thank you~" rosemi says, being secretive about what she's doing on your phone. you don't think about it further since she's probably just gonna text selen or something.

little did you know, she was doing something far worse.

10 minutes later...

"hey~ i'm done. thanks for letting me borrow your phone!" rosemi pauses, "ahaha... i'm gonna head home now, see you!" she then adds.

"see you." you both bid your goodbyes and rosemi leaves your room in a hurry.

wondering what she just did, you check every single app to see if something happened.

you checked the messages app last, and you see something that wasn't there before.

shu's contact was at the top of your message list. meaning the last person you messaged was shu.

but... the last person you chatted was rosemi.

you immediately clicked on his contact to see what the heck rosemi just did.

"...!!" you read the final rosemi sent.

shu 🎦 📞 ︙

today, at 13:12

hi shu :D

eyy hi

what are you doing rn?

nothing, why?

let's talk lol

okay

(too lazy to make a convo)

i have something to confess

what is it

i like you /r

you looked at the chat, eyes widened. you immediately opened rosemi's contact to message her, only to find out that she had blocked you.

"shit...! rosemi..!" you quietly whisper to yourself, scared of what shu would answer.

⇚ ↺ ⇛

"hey dude, you okay? your face is red." Ike asks to shu, but he doesn't answer.

"shuu? shu!" ike shouts again and again, finally gaining the attention of the boy.

"ah- yes?" shu blushed, even more embarrassed since ike had to shout his name to him.

"what are you looking at? you're blushing, and it's very obvious..." ike says out of curiosity.

shu's never gotten that flustered before, so seeing him blush that hard is uncommon.

shu hesitates a bit but shows his phone to ike anyway.

"damn. your own crush likes you back? when is it my turn?" ike says, looking at shu and joking slightly at the end.

"w-well what should i answer with...? i can't just leave her on read..." shu says, stuttering a little bit at the start.

"confess? what else? are you really gonna miss this chance?" ike says, making it seem like the answer was obvious.

"n-no way...!" shu shouts immediately, blushing even redder than before.

"just do it! she says she likes you. and you like her back! just try." ike encourages, with a reassuring smile.

"are you sure...?" shu asks, quite hesitant to confess his feelings to her.

"yeah. do it. don't be a pussy." box comes into the room, surprising both ike and shu.

"what the- you know what, i'll do it." shu opens his messages app and decides to answer that message.

⇚ ↺ ⇛

"oh god. what am i gonna do? whyyyy rosemi...!" you whine and complain over call to rosemi after she unblocked you to see your reaction.

"i've hung out with him and you before, it's evident he likes you. just trust me! the way he looks at you, the way he gets shy whenever you brush past him! he definitely likes you." rosemi says in a reassuring voice.

"you don't know tha-!" you speak to rosemi, however, you got interrupted from a notification.

it was from your messages app, and you immediately got nervous to see who just texted you.

"that's shu, isn't it? check it out!" rosemi says, excitement in her voice.

shu 🎦 📞 ︙

today, at 13:12

hi shu :D

eyy hi

what are you doing rn?

nothing, why?

let's talk lol

okay

(too lazy to make a convo)

i have something to confess

what is it

i like you /r

i... like you too. will you be my girlfriend...? not that i'm forcing you or anything. if you aren't ready, we can wait. 13:41

"...! r-rosemi...!" you start blushing. 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥, 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵.

"what?! did he say yes?" rosemi asks, feeling more excited to know what shu said.

"he said that he likes me back... and that he wants me to be his girlfriend..." you blushed harder, as if it was even possible.

"YES! w (double u) y/n!!!" rosemi shouts, but not too loud so her roommate, or rather 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥, selen, couldn't hear.

"w-what should i say?!" you panic a little, asking rosemi for advice.

"say yes!!" rosemi tells you excitedly, even more excited than when she gets to talk to selen.

"o-okay...!" you say, before opening up the chat and typing your answer.

shu 🎦 📞 ︙

today, at 13:12

hi shu :D

eyy hi

what are you doing rn?

nothing, why?

let's talk lol

okay

(too lazy to make a convo)

i have something to confess

what is it

i like you. /r

i... like you too. will you be my girlfriend...? not that i'm forcing you or anything. if you aren't ready, we can wait.

yes, i'll be your girlfriend.

you screenshot the conversation, sending it to rosemi. and when she sees it, she squeals in excitement.

"you aren't single anymore!!!" you can practically hear the fact that rosemi's eyes are twinkling. "congrats!!! i'm so happy for you!!" she adds.

"thank you, rosemi... i guess giving you my phone wasn't a bad idea, after all." you chuckle, happy to know that now, shu came from being just a pen pal to being your boyfriend.

⇚ ↺ ⇛

2 days later; 10:15

you & shu agreed to meet up and hang out after he asked you for a date.

he told you to dress in a cuter outfit, so you had your friend uki help you dress up.

"wait... this!" uki finally finds something after rummaging through your closet for 10 minutes.

he shows you a short, lilac dress with lace and frills along with some ribbons. it also had some gold accents.

"wear this." uki puts the dress on your bed before going to your shoe rack to see if you had any shoes that would go well with the dress uki chose.

"aha. this makes a great outfit." uki pulls out some light purple flats, the color almost completely matching the color of your dress.

"go put it on! i'll wait when you're done so i can do your hair next." uki says before leaving your bedroom.

and so, you listen to him and put on the dress carefully so you don't mess anything up.

"i'm done!" you call uki in once you finish putting on your dress.

"that's perfect. okay, now go sit down near your vanity table and i'll help with your hair and makeup." uki says, bringing a chair over to the vanity table.

as you say down, uki immediately put down your hair and starts to brush it.

he put your hair in a half-up half-down hair style and put on a golden colored ribbon you happened to have.

then, he started with your makeup. he wanted to go for a more natural look, so he decided to just stick to mascara and blush with some lip gloss.

"aand... done! i'm sure he'll love the way you look. and if he doesn't.... you wouldn't mind giving me his family member's names, right?" uki says, finishing your look by spraying on some f/s perfume.

"dang. you're pretty good at this." you say, looking at your self in the mirror.

"there's a reason why i get laid by fulgur every night." uki says in a serious voice.

"i did not need to know that — aanyway, i should go soon, he's gonna pick me up soon. take care of my house for me! see ya later!" you tell to uki, before taking your purse and leaving the room, later leaving your home.

⇚ ↺ ⇛

as if timing was by your side, shu's car had just arrived. shu gets out of the driver seat and goes over to you.

"eyy. you're looking cuter today. shall we?" shu compliments you, and offers his hand to you.

"ah... thank you!" you take hisnahnd, an she leads you to the door of the pasenger seat and opens the door for you.

you get in, and he goes to the driver's seat to start driving to the area shu was planning to bring you to.

when you arrive, it turns out he had taken you to a flower field to have a picnic together.

"it's so pretty..!" your eyes sparkle, looking at the beautiful lily field, which had a picnic blanket in the middle of it.

"surprise~ beautiful, isn't it? though, it doesn't defeat your beauty, of course." shu flirts with you, making you slightly blush.

"oh stop it~ let's just sit down." you try to switch up the subject, which shu chuckled at.

he takes your hand and leads you to the picnic area, where he offers you to take a seat.

you hadn't realized it earlier, but his outfit was absolutely amazing.

his hair was tied up in a ponytail, and his outfit was a casual suit; a white button up, a white vest with purple accents and some white pants.

he also wore combat boots and white gloves, along with a purple ribbon decorating his ponytail.

"well, you look lovely, 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘥𝘺." shu complimented, making you blush at the nickname.

"you too..." you say, trying not to stutter. you have to admit, he was looking quite fine.

"i brought food my friend & i prepared for us. have as much as you'd like!" he says with a smile, grabbing a plate and some food for himself.

you also take a plate, and take some f/f. you tried some, and it was really good. it seems he and his friend are good at cooking.

"wow, you should share the recipe with me some time!" you laugh a little, before taking another bite of your food.

⇚ ↺ ⇛

you two finished eating and packed up the stuff.

you decided to take a stroll around the garden and take a look at the lilies.

"the lilies are gorgeous..." you look closely at the lilies.

"they are! i usually go here to calm myself down." shu spoke, sharing a fact with you.

you two talked for a while, while complimenting the lilies and walking around. it was very peaceful.

"hey... i love you." shu says out of nowhere, making you blush slightly.

"ah... i love you too." you respond quickly, smiling.

"i hope we'll be together forever, okay? 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙣��𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚, 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮." shu wrapped an arm around your waist.

"you're saying that as if i can even try to leave you." you laugh, stating a fact. you probably won't be breaking up with him anytime soon, maybe even never breaking up with him.

but right now, you just want to think about the present. right now, you are with shu, and that's not changing anytime soon.

⇚ ↺ ⇛

i didn't know how to end this story so sorry if it's a little weird at the end lol

[avatarvyakara]

Presenting the premier Addy Brock collection from Strands of Webbing!

Starting out with diversion of a canon event because, honestly, [bleep] that noise:

52. React

"DON’T!" she screams. But Ven#m is already halfway towards the M.O.R.B.I.U.S. device, a look of determination on its electronic inFace—

Until, with a grunt, all three point one five tons of SP//dr shoves the other mech out of the way of the beam of light just in time. A nearby building fuses into a twisted mess of metal and glass, like a Vonnegut crystogram.

"What the hell was that for?" comes the angry voice of Addy Brock from Ven#m's modulator.

"Rule number one on this team: you don't get yourself killed to prove a point!" snaps Peni.

Ven#m's inFace expresses strong shock.

"…we're a team?"

"I didn't say that."

That chirpy expression looks really weird in black and neon white. It probably doesn't help that the teenager inside has a much more…smug face, and that Peni can see both of them quite clearly.

"You implied it."

"Shut up. Now help me figure out this thing's weak spot. And don’t you dare die."

(Addy survives. But Peni's not sure, after the loud squeal at the end of the fight, whether her eardrums are going to last the week.)

60. Introductions

“You’re welcome to stay longer,” she tells Gray with a little hesitation, as they sit atop the New Chrysler eating putty-cakes from a street vendor below. “You could actually come over.”

His eyes shine, but his brow wrinkles—for once he’s got the mask off. He looks like Peter Parker. He looks nineteen. (Thirty. Eighty.)

“I don’t know if your folks would be okay with that.”

“You already met Addy.”

“Well, yeah.” Admittedly, she did threaten Gray with a fate worse than death and a mech. Neither of which seemed very effective to the other Spider, who had just laughed. One Saturday she’d be very happy to forget, honestly. (But he laughed, so there was some success that day.)

“I’ve been trying to explain this to them, the whole multiverse thing,” she says, and huffs. “They still think I’m crazy. Or that I’m lying and that I’ve actually just gotten myself some shady lowlife koibito to spite them.”

Gray’s face hardens. “If that word means what I think it means, then they should know way better.”

But it softens again when he looks at her. “But a six-foot-three-inch-tall nineteen-year-old with a face like a darned sock isn’t going to be much help to you, kiddo.”

“You’re literally from another dimension—”

“And I look scary. I won’t be making it easier for you on my own, not with how you say your aunt and uncle are. Maybe you can get Miles and Gwen in on this?”

She wants to protest, but then he says: “Maybe Ham and Peter too, Make an outing of it for the whole cluster. That way the others can distract them a little.”

“...I guess that makes sense.” He’s her best human friend, and she wanted to recognize that. But even so...maybe that would be better. She was able to pass off Miguel as a Mercurial pen-pal with a cosplay addiction (most Earthers will believe anything about the decadent and obscenely wealthy and more-than-slightly inhuman Spacers), but the rest are going to be harder—her black-and-white and cartoon counterparts especially. Telling the whole story, with proof, becomes easier if there are kids her age to help soften the blow. (Plus, Peter B couldn’t look threatening if he tried.)

Still.

“You’re not scary, though,” Peni insists. “Not to me.” She grins. “You’re too much of a dork for that.”

He squeezes her shoulder, and gives her a smile no less warm for being in monochrome. “Whereas you frighten the life out of me, doll.”

She hugs him. This time around, he doesn’t resist.

“...seriously, though, what’s in that crispy paste stuff?”

“Sun-fried seaweed, Mercury-style.”

“...it’s not too bad. Tastes kinda like latkes. Like a latke dough, but you can eat it.”

“It’s pretty good. My favourite’s yungay potato.”

“Ah, a lady of quality.”

She laughs at that.

80. Comrade

Adelaide Brock is fourteen when she makes her first two real friends. People who actually get it. Who understand the thrill of the ride, and the joy of the psychic link.

They have their differences, of course. Peni’s more of a drill sergeant in the field, always efficient, applying incredible precision. Addy’s always been more of a performer at heart, and her spider (her spider), Weying, seems to sympathize. Ven#m likes the spotlight, isn’t really up to just fighting and heading home, prefers to mug for the crowds and crow over a few muggers. (And occasionally fantasizes about trapping and eating the monsters they defeat like the oversized prey they are, but that’s spiders for you.) Maybe it’s showboating a little, but hey, if you have a ship, why not display it?

But at the end of the day...Peni saved her life. Soon after, she saved Peni’s. They’re a team. They’re actually talking. And she and Weying have been working together for ages now, and New York loves them. Life is good.

Now, if only Peni would actually let her know who she keeps talking to on that weird 2D group chat of hers...

170. Hardcore

“...until ultimate termination.”

Peni blinks.

“Are you sure we’re the same person?”

Other Peni rolls her eyes. “Yes, I’m sure. Even if your SP//dr is a bit...”

“A bit what?”

“You know...impractical? For fighting bad guys?”

Peni frowns. “Mostly kaiju, actually.”

“You sit in a glass cockpit and punch giant monsters and somehow you’ve survived as SP//dr for...how long now?”

“Three years. How about you?”

“Two. ...oh, no, there is no way you’re older than me. You look twelve!”

“Uh...I’m sixteen.”

“Ah, Peni! I see you’ve met Peni?” says Ham, striding through the workshop with a sandwich and out the other side. “Have fun!”

“I guess,” mutters Other Peni.

“...Dad’s death still bothering you?”

“What? No, that was ages ago.” Other Peni sighs, which helps Peni feel less like yelling at her dismissive tone (which would be counterproductive). “Mostly it’s just the job. It...kinda grinds down on you after a while.”

“...I guess I can relate to that.”

Other Peni coughs. “So...you like listening to music while you work?”

Peni lights up. “Do I? Come on, let’s get the sound started. Have you heard anything by Karam Heiwa?”

For the first time in the entire conversation, Other Peni smiles.

“I can see you’ve got good taste.”

“It’s probably a Peni Parker thing,” says Peni, conversationally. “Gray’s stuck on swing, Peter B’s more Silver Age Electric, and Gwen’s into punk, but you just can’t beat KH for tunes to work with.”

Other Peni cautiously goes through the playlist on the holographic display, as though she’s worried about breaking something. Then her faces lights up.

“Hey, is this ‘Nuke-ular’? I haven’t heard this album in ages!”

...of course Other Peni would choose the most depressing song in the mix. Still, baby steps.

183. Talk

The first time Addy stops by the workshop when Other Peni is there, Other Peni is furious at Peni for suggesting she come and say hi. Genuinely furious.

The second time—after some prompting and a long discussion where Other Peni Parker cries for the first time Peni remembers—Other Peni is there to greet her.

“Uhhhh...Peni? Is that you? You look tired. And...older.”

“...hey, Addy. It’s me. This is gonna sound weird, but...I’m from another dimension and I just...kind of wanted to see you again.”

She sounds so tender.

Addy blinks.

“It’s okay,” says Peni, coming around to the front of the space. “She’s...a friend. Sort of. But you have to keep this a secret. This is beyond mech stuff, it’s insanely important. Swear?”

Addy nods, wide-eyed.

“Good! You two have fun!”

“Peni, you weren’t supposed to—” Other Peni growls, but Peni’s already wheeling herself out.

It should help. She knows it would help her. And she’s about 90% certain Addy will forgive her, and has fifteen different prospective options to hasten that process.

...figures that when she steps back in, Addy and Other Peni give her rather evil grins.

“You know,” says Other Peni casually, “the nice thing about being the same person? It means you’re already well aware of a fair few...embarrassing incidents.”

“...you didn’t.”

“Me? No, no. We just traded life stories. If they match up, it’s just a coincidence, right?”

Addy cackles.

“I’ve created a monster.”

“Aw, lighten up, Choking Hazard.”

“Adelaide Brock, you swore not to tell a living soul—”

“Actually I just said I’d only talk about it with you. And, well...”

Other Peni laughs.

(The sacrifices one makes for the good of one’s fellow Spiders...)

238. Rudolph

“If you think I’m missing this, Peni Parker, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“Addy...I don’t know. I mean, yes, you got bitten, but...I’ve never met another Addy Brock out there. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Addy tosses her head back and offers her friend an easy grin. “Then I won’t get hurt. Simple as that. Trust me, Peni. I know when to pull back now.”

Peni sighs. “Fine. But be careful, right? Follow my lead.”

The red SP//dr enters the hole in space just before the black Ven#m does, and leads the way.

And on the other side—

“Hey!” calls Miles happily, coming over to meet them. “Glad you could make it!”

“...hi,” says Addy, blushing quite pinkly all of a sudden.

Peni rolls her eyes. “Excuse my friend. Addy, this is Miles Morales, Spider-Man. Miles, my best friend and coworker Addy Brock and her Spider Weying, alias Ven#m.”

“...how are you pronouncing that?” asks Ham. “Hey, I thought me and Mister Egg Cream over there were your best friends.”

Gray looks like he’s trying not to grin. Peni can feel a blush coming on herself. “I’ve got four best friends. Addy’s the only one you guys haven’t met yet.”

“Well, welcome to the team,” says Miles easily. “And Happy Hanukkah!”

(“Should I tell him you’re a Zuhariyya Muslim?”

“Nah, it’s okay.”)

297. Tea

“So, that’s one Earl Grey for Billy, one Boba for Peni, two Green for Hida and Other Peni, one Black for Cindy, one Lemon Grass for Roshni, and one Masala Chai for me,” says Pavitr, taking notes.

“I feel like we’re inviting stereotypes here,” says Roshni.

“I don’t reckon so,” Billy replies, preemptively reaching for the sugar.

“For Peter...coffee. And a reminder of what civilization looks like when you don’t commit blasphemy.”

Pauker glares. “I told you, that was in Boston!”

“And a Peppermint for Addy.”

On her shoulder, Weying the spider bounces excitedly.

“...no, Addy.” That’s from both Peni Parkers at the same time, exasperated in different ways.

“Aw, man...”

322. Mitosis

“Don’t count on it working,” says Other Peni. “And be careful.”

Peter cracks his knuckles.

“Just gotta give it the ol’ college try.”

And he walks up to the bulky form of Ven#m. Not as nice-looking as Addy’s, honestly. And a cannibal at that. Joke about it though he may, he doesn’t much like cannibalism.

Peter doesn’t entirely know what he’s doing, but there’s always such a thing as giving it the ol’ college try.

(Granted, he never went to college.)

—what are you?—

“Me? I’m just a good buddy here to annoy you into spitting out my friend’s loved ones.”

The capsule opens, revealing a tangled mess of cable-like tentacles that snake towards him.

—is Peni so desperate that she’s sending in cartoons to aid in her futile endeavours?—

—hahahaa—

—don’t make me laugh, little piggy—

—we are Ven#m—

—what are you going to do?—

—“huff and puff and blow my house down”?—

Peter pulls out the giant horn his niece Dahlia sent back from a trip to Switzerland.

“Something like that, yeah.”

362. Celebrity

Do I get one? I get one! Wheeee! ...um. Sorry. Anyway.

My name is Addy Brock. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for five years I’ve been one third of the one and only Ven#m. I’m from New York in the year 3150, I have a psychic link with a spider who lives inside the robot I tried to take for a joyride when I was fourteen, and my best friends in the world are Peni Parker and Weying, the aforementioned radioactive spider.

Pretty sure you know the rest. Saved the city, mugged for the camera, saved the city again and again, had a hundredth-of-life crisis during which I, uh...we don’t really talk about that. (I’m banned from Greater Peru until I’m eighty-five, on a completely unrelated note.) But I got back up. Also, I met an alternate version of my best friend who lost her me and really needed someone to keep her laughing. And that’s me. Addy Brock, clown superhero extraordinaire. (Peter Parker? Never heard of him.) Peni may be the OG, but I’m the sequel that nobody knew they wanted but now can’t get enough of. I’ve even been to Mars on business—you know how difficult it is for an Earther to get direct to Mars, let alone for a job? Usually they hire local, or take on seasonal workers from the ecoships. This is big stuff.

...but at the end of the day, I love being Ven#m. And...I like having friends who get it. I got randomly assigned a last name matching my closest genetic relatives, but Peni and her Aunt May and Uncle Ben are the first real family I’ve ever actually had. So guess what? Ven#m is here to stay, with the Parkers, in the Republic of New York, on Earth.

As long as they’ll have me.

(“Well, then, looks like even reincarnation won’t be enough to let you get away, Addy.”

"And when they get sick of you, me and my aunt and uncle and Other Addy will take over."

“Aw, you guys. Peni Parkers? Ultimate upgrade in superhero mettle. Besides yours truly, of course.”

”How modest.”)

[jesytr]

it was previously the moment of getting hired into Arkham Asylum when Harleen believed maybe she didn't want to be a part of the team. they gave her clients as a psychiatrist, and she ran with each of them. carefully pulling back the layers of childhood trauma, and the corporate justice system that seemed to make more, and more money for the state petitionary.

each inmate ranged from criminally insane to a more stable, and manageable clientele. though each seemed to almost lack in what she was looking for. what she wanted to find in someone. it wasn't easy to express her boredom for it all. going through the motions felt like a daily chore. she remembered when she had been told that she should've worked at a different hospital, and it was starting to feel like she should... then she found @jokethur was put into the system. and her curiosity led her straight to her boss. in which she asked to be assigned his case.

it wasn't so cut and dry, but she did manage to get on his team. which seemed extensive enough for her to be accepted as his main therapist. treatment beginning every Monday, and Fridays. enough to keep her guessing. ' how did a guy like that end up in here ? '

" well , " her freshly dyed blonde hair sat up in a ponytail and on her nose was her typical set of glasses. she had trained herself in the mirror that morning down to the last detail of how she was going to reintroduce herself to arthur. she would extend out her hand, and say, ' nice ta' meet cha' again, ol' pal - how'd ya' end up in the slammer ? ' but no. not like that. instead maybe she'd try, ' looks like we're both in here now! therapy buddies ?? ' instead she ended up clearing her throat when she was finally in the same room as him. standing in front of Arthur from her desk. after they brought him to her office. she dismissed the guards , and smiled, " ya' can sit there. " swooping her arms out to the couch in the room.

she picked up a clipboard and sat back down without waiting for him to do so himself. glancing through the papers that had personal information on him, " I uhh --- wasn't expecting ta' see ya'. " not like this anyways, " come ta' my surprise ta' find ya' here. " she cleared her throat again. eyeing the clock behind him set in her office just near the door, " first session - ya' got an hour. " she knew she had to be professional. especially since all sessions would be recorded for the board of directors to look over.

her office wasn't especially fancy or anything for the most part it had a teal wallpaper to it and some feel good uplifting posters such as a cat hanging on a branch saying ' hang in there! ' and a little kid holding a red balloon, along with a ' live. laugh. love ' that she personally picked out. she had a small desktop with a mug with a clown on it with a droopy frown, but bright red hair. she also had a laptop to keep notes on throughout the session. she picked up her pink pen, and began to write down the time , the date, as well as any noticing quirks she could pick up on right away about him.

[coffinsister]

we're sending so many asks back and forth it's like we're pen pals~ pretend that i'm attaching a small gift to this ask, like a cute button or a coupon for 15% off a box of cereal

anyway, about saya's form! do you think she had a choice in how she looked in her 'human' form? she looked exactly the same to both fuminori and suzumi (maybe yoh?) so i can only assume that she decided to portray herself as such. but then she complains about how much fuminori prefers yoh's more curvaceous figure as opposed to her own loli body...

the fact that saya looks more anime compared to everyone else is very interesting too

Pen pals i wuv u I will give u a box of chocolates

I don't think she can choose her looks? I have not read the other two endings yet though so maybe I don't know something

I think her more anime-esque look is done on purpose for her to seem not just better than everybody else but the best like Fuminori sees her as

Tbh Saya's looks are kinda confusing to me

I really thought she was just a flat chested girl but apparently she really is meant to just look like a child and I guess she is a child? Apparently she hasn't been conciountous all that long

But yeah I think if she could control her appearance she would look different at least to Fuminori try to look more like Yoh

It would be interesting if she chooses how she looks like and then what if she's making herself look even scarier to Yoh just to be mean to her

[thewertsearch]

Additionally, his existence is your responsibility.

Hey, Vriska was the one who turned him into a First Guardian. I guess you could blame Jade for his original ascension, but the present that facilitated it was the Pen-Pal's idea, not hers.

...actually, it wasn't even his idea, was it? The Pen-Pal was coerced into sending the bunny by some third party - and at this point, I'm pretty sure English has his fingerprints all over this subplot, too.

Refusing to venture out to destroy the sun in no way spares anyone from my master regardless. It is certainly true that destroying it will end my life. And it is certainly true that The Tumor you will deliver to its location has enough power to destroy it completely.

Alright, maybe it could happen - but you're hedging a little on whether it will happen.

I've been thinking about other ways to neutralize Scratch, in case the Tumor is a dud. Unlike Jack, we can't really trick of manipulate him. Abusing the gaps in his knowledge is technically an option, but they're kind of difficult to plan around. We'd have to know when and where the gaps will present themselves - and I'd advise against using the cueball, considering what happened last time.

There are a few other options, though. Bec was essentially erased when he merged with Jadesprite - and even if Scratch survived a prototyping, his personality would be compromised by whoever he's sharing a kernel with. We don't currently have any spare kernels, but it's something to keep in mind if he's still a problem in the reboot session.

He’d probably also be destroyed if he was present in a doomed timeline when it ceased to exist. Come to think of it, that might be part of why he's so big on Rose initiating the Scratch - because if she kills him via timeline erasure, the Green Sun will remain, and English can abuse it again.

To be honest, I'm still not sure we want the Green Sun gone. I'm obviously not against breaking the game, but we should really know what we're messing with before we start ripping out cables.

Instances of myself have spawned in countless universes, and my objective is always the same. I have never once failed to complete this objective, and I never will.

So there are other corrupted Guardians.

English's attack method is becoming a little more clear. When he sets his sights on a universe, he arranges for Gamzee's code to be injected into a Sburb session there. This code worms its way into the First Guardian's genome, turning it into a HONK Guardian - a corrupted demigod, compelled to summon its master.

...and I was just fretting about Bec's genome getting messed with. Great.

There is nothing noble about taking a course of action you believe would prevent his arrival, because that is impossible.

Are you sure, Scratch? Because it certainly sounds like something that'd get your death tagged as 'heroic'.

Anyway, this 'inevitability' shtick is the same spiel he used to manipulate Vriska. It was dubious then, it's dubious now, and defying Scratch's is only impossible if you believe it is.

Unfortunately, Scratch is a very convincing man.

[invisiblegarters]

23.5 - Episode 12 (finale)

Last week, Ongsa and Sun had a very dramatic fight and broke up for like a week. Both of them were equally ridiculous about it but the adults gave some really good advice. Ongsa and her parents finally had that talk that she's been avoiding and they were lovely. There was not enough adorable Aylin and Luna moments for me and absolutely ZERO teachers, which is a TRAVESTY. But they did put Alpha in sleeveless shirts again, so at least they got that one right.

Oh, and Sun's gonna apply for an exchange program to the US.

Okay Ongsa that is optimistic I'm porud of this coming from you. I do assume you're saving your spiral for when you're alone.

Look, they might break up if and when Sun goes to the US. That's just facts. Long distance is hard, and it's exponentially harder when you're young. Hell I couldn't even keep a pen pal at their age, but that could just be me.

That said, as I have said many (many, many) times, it doesn't mean that either of them should keep from doing the things they want and dream of.

YES MAWIN DRAG HIM.

Oh okay are we just gonna do a quick sum up for all the side couples? I only really care about Aylin and Luna (and the teachers). I do get a kick out of Charoen and Ton's whole thing though. Keep rejecting him girl. He needs it.

Charoen and Tinh are so funny. I kind of love them.

Okay seriously Bambam please get it together. Please I beg you.

That is really sweet that Aylin wanted Sun to remember her too. Her little attempts to wave were adorable.

Aw Ongsa it's okay. I can't really cook either.

Sun really is the sweetest. I love how affirming she is towards Ongsa at pretty much all times. What a little sweetie.

And heh, I love Aylin. I am Aylin. Although unlike her I'd probably eat whatever someone cooked for me anyway, haha.

Ah and here the spiral comes. I mean we all knew she was gonna get the scholarship, but now it's real and not just an idea and a year is a long time.

I still smell a time skip but I could be wrong - we're halfway through now. My guess though is that the time skip will be at the very end and just for reuniting (and it feels so good). Maybe a montage of them communicating during the year apart.

Although I guess it could end with Sun leaving...

Oh Aylin is a sweet girlfriend.

I think Ton only wants Charoen because she doesn't want him. The second that she liked him back he'd lose interest.

HA called it.

Aw so the teachers did get together. I would have appreciated a makeout though.

I love how cuddly Luna is.

AW KISSES. Yay I wasn't sure if we'd get them from these two but I have to say that I am very pleased to see how it happened. Since Aylin is the one who wasn't sure if she wanted that, I am happy that she is the one to initiate. Good for them.

Sun is totally gonna show up to surprise Ongsa. We all know this right?

And I just realized that Ongsa lost the glasses. Sigh. Fucking hell, show.

Cute ending.

I have to admit though that I felt that the finale was kind of lackluster. It had a "let me explain. No that is too much, let me sum up" sort of quality to it which was confusing because they actually had the time to explain! I know that this was Ongsa's show really, but I wish we'd have gotten more from Nida and Bambam especially, but also Luna and Aylin. Ah well.

Final thoughts:

I think it was a solid enough show. The couples were cute and I adored Aylin and Ongsa with every fibre of my being, but I do feel like it was a little clunky in how it tried to explore certain issues, like Aylin's whole deal. Like I do get what they were going for, but more attention could have been paid to it. They had the time.

I also feel like it suffered a little from being the first full length GL from GMMTV. It seemed clear they didn't want to get too messy or tackle things too hard, lest they put off the audience. Which is a bit sad because I would adore some messy lesbians please (Pluto and Us will hopefully deliver on that front). That said, I want this to be wildly popular so that more GL are made. Because the more that are made, the more variety we'll get. BL didn't start off with a ton of variety either.

It was enjoyable fluff for the most part, and that has its place for sure. Also I'm still chuffed that the little ship that could from Bad Buddy (the only ship I cared about, if I'm honest) spawned Milk and Love an entire GL of their own. Good for them.

Rating: a solid 8/10.

[audible-smiles]

we're gonna watch it tomorrow

[hero-deserves-to-be-happy]

really late, but wanted to send in a little assortment of question prompts for the ask game, so take your pick!: 3 and 16 for hero, 1 and 5 for CJ, 6 and 7 for lorraine, 8 and 15 for tamra, 18 for kel, and 13 for sunny! :D - 🩶

🩶-Anon!!!! Hello!! It's so wonderful to hear from you again. 🥰 We hope you are doing well and that you enjoyed the newest chapters of "When Sun Shines Again." Thank you so much again for the support and encouragement! It meant so much to us to get to hear your thoughts on our series, and we made sure to thank you in our authors' note on Chapter 7 & hope you enjoyed that one especially 💖

Thank you so much for your ask as well! It is always such a delight to see you in our inbox, and we'd be thrilled to answer these questions for you! We're going to try to answer all of them but have decided to divide them into two posts: one for canon characters and the other for OCs. The OC answers are below and the canon character post is linked here. Thank you so much for playing!!

Please drop by our inbox anytime! We love hearing from you. Take care!! 💙

C.J. Answers:

1. Who makes up your family?  How close are you to them?

My immediate family is my parents, my three sisters: Shawna, Lisa, and Camille (but we all call her Cami), and me, but my Nana (my grandma) has always lived with us so I'd include her too. I think I'm pretty close to them.

My older sisters, Shawna and Lisa, are always going to see me as their dorky little brother, I think, but they've always looked out for me. Nana says used to treat me like their doll when I was little and would dress me up in silly clothes and loved pushing me around the in stroller like they were playing house, but I don't remember that beyond her stories and some pictures. I do remember playing together with my sisters as kid though. They both have much stronger personalities than me, so I think they liked that I would just go along with whatever they said and whatever games they wanted to play. Shawna can be really bossy sometimes, and Lisa's really into a lot of girly stuff I don't know that much about, but we always had fun together. They tease me for being hopeless with girls (instead of, you know, actually giving me useful advice), but I know we've got each other's backs.

Cami is my little sister, and she's 7. Shawna and Lisa were 15 and 17 when she was born, but I was only 12 so I think we've always been a little bit closer, especially when our older sisters went away to college and we were the only kids still living at home. Our parents work a lot so we spent a lot of time together just the two us and Nana. We like to watch cartoons together, and Cami loves stories, especially comic books (and I have a pretty big collection of those). She was really sad when I left for college, and I really miss her, but we talk on the phone a lot.

5. What is your favorite thing to do in your free time?

I love spending time outdoors. Hiking is probably my favorite thing to do, but I love pretty much all outdoor activities, except fishing. It's too boring.

I like spending time with my friends too, so the best is when they tag along on my hiking trips. There's a lot of parks in the city including a nature preserve with a lot of hiking trails close to our college, and we'll all go out there sometimes when the weather is nice. Hero and Lorraine pack picnics for us. It's always a lot of fun!

LORRAINE Answers:

6. What's the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

It was hard to move around a lot and keep leaving my friends when I was a kid. I missed them so much and it has hard to keep in touch from so far away, but now I have pen pals all over the world so that's pretty cool! 🥰

I guess getting over some painful breakups was hard too. Heartbreak can be hard to recover from, but I don't think any of my failed relationships left me shattered and swearing off love forever like poor Hero (or at least I think that's what happened to him...? I don't know all the details, but I can tell his heart is broken and he doesn't think he'll ever be happy again. I worry about him sometimes... 🩷).

Compared to that and everything that happened to Kyle's knee, I don't think anything I've been through has been all that bad. Even my sister has had a rougher time than me, I think. I've had some normal tough times like everybody does, but nothing too lifechanging.

7. Who do you look up to?

My mom! She's so nice and so beautiful, and she has this way of making everybody happy, even when they're having a bad day. When I still lived at home and would invite my friends over, they would say she was like another mom to them because she always makes them feel so welcome and like part of our family. She's amazing at baking, crafts, and especially at gardening, and it's almost like she has this superpower where she can just look at person and know what's bothering them and what will make them feel better. I've always wanted to be just like her! 🥰

TAMRA Answers:

8. What do you think had the biggest impact on you growing up?

I think being encouraged to practice my music and follow my dreams had a really big impact on me. My parents wanted me to do well in school, of course, but they knew how much I loved playing piano so they always made sure I had lessons and time for practice too and would drive me all over the country for recitals, concerts, and competitions. My parents never made me feel like my music was a waste of time.

When I went away to college, I ended up choosing a double major in music and education because I love teaching too, and they were always really supportive of me. I think I might have given up on my dreams if it hadn't been for them.

I also have to mention Andre! He's been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and we've always been really supportive of each other and our dreams (even when they led us to universities thousands of miles away from each other). Getting to meet him and grow up together (and eventually to fall in love 💕) also had a really big impact on me! 💜

15. Do you play any instruments?  Which ones?  How long have you been playing?

Yes! I can actually play a lot of instruments at least a little bit 😅--mostly keyboard instruments like the piano, organ, synthesizer, keytar, melodica, and the harpsicord. Some of my friends from band in high school tried to teach me how to play some of their instruments, and I got pretty good at the clarinet, I think, which made it easier to play the melodica. At college, I've been trying to branch out into strings. My university has a program where its music majors teach private lessons to kids and other people in the community. I teach piano, but a friend of mine teaches viola and another teaches cello, and after our lessons wrap up for the day, we've all been staying late so teach each other our instruments a little bit. It's been fun, but I wouldn't say I'm very good at either of those yet.

My favorite instrument and the one I'm best at is definitely the piano. I've been playing since I was 4, and I love it! It's amazing to get to play piano at college too--though I'll admit I'm getting a little sick of playing Chopin. The chair of the music department's favorite composer is Chopin so I keep getting assigned his pieces for my student showcases, and I'd really like to play something else every now and again (Maybe some Debussy or some Rachmaninoff 🤞).

At my other part time job, I play popular music on piano at a restaurant, and that's always fun! I love transcription projects and getting to play people's (my friends') favorite songs on piano for them. 🥰