#guess it’s decent enough to be posted
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🕯️ manifesting another kiss for ep 8 🕯️
#have this attempt to draw one of the most beautiful ofmd scenes i did a couple of days ago#guess it’s decent enough to be posted#but i’m determined to work on other stuff before ep 8 drops#i need to keep myself busy in the meantime 🫠 (yes ep 7 killed me)#ofmd#our flag means death fanart#our flag means death#ofmd s2#ofmd spoilers#stede bonnet#blackbeard#edward teach#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#my art🌷
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Done with our favorite Spider-Boy! Spiderling? Spider... What was his name again?
Avengers paper cutout 6/?
#avengers paper cutout project#art#sorry it's been FOREVER since I did a thing for this series lol#lowkey I've had this done for like... a month... maybe 2 months...?#and just didn't post it because I wasn't 100% happy with it#but well. when someone has a bad day and you want to cheer them up a little you can't be chasing perfection I guess#I also want to do more bird art soon!#just haven't been feeling creative lately due to Certain Life Events:tm:#but today was the first decent day I've had in a while where I didn't go home and then immediately fall into a doom scroll spiral on the co#the couch#stupid tag word limit#anyway yeah hopefully you'll be hearing a little more from me soonish#and by soonish i mean like another 2 weeks probably...#look even when I'm feeling decent I am SLOOOOOOW at this lmao#uhh anyway there's only natasha left out of the OG6 so she's up next#actually probably similar color scheme for peter assuming it'll be a black gun on the hourglass bg#but I kinda hate the black lol it makes the edges look so bad!#we'll see maybe I'll find a picture of her with a different looking gun and use that as an excuse#enough tag rambling I need to post this and then get ready for bed lol#hope y'all enjoy my silly little art#which i guess is kinda seasonally appropriate now??#IGNORE MY RAMBLING UP THERE THIS WAS MY SECRET PLAN ALL ALONG MHM MHM I PLANNED THIS SO WELL
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Lance isn't allowed in the kitchen for a reason :D
#pokemon#pokemon hgss#champion lance#rival silver#bearimba art#hc that lance never really learned how to cook because he was so busy doing big dragon clan stuff and then big pokemon league stuff#man's been mostly living off of pre-made meals takeout and free food from events#big rip#meanwhile silver didn't really have a choice but to learn how to get crafty with his cooking (y'know. being homeless and all.)#so he's figured out how to make a decent meal out of very little#anyways i guess we doin art now#been a lil occupied recently so i haven't really had enough brain left to work on big headcanon posts#but i do have a relationship dynamic kind of thing in the works not to mention those character intro posts#so hopefully more substantial stuff is coming soon! :)
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Gonna go to bed but my Final Message. I do think abt cyborg!bf in the rgbfverse a lot (lets call him Cyber in this context) and honestly it would be hard to write anything until I 100% iron out his Deal but the idea of him latching onto YS as a big brother figure makes me. Very happy. For both of them LMAO
#he would probably be Very freaked out by the others i mostly imagine him spending time alone w ys#idk i guess i Do know what the deal would be it would just depend entirely on when YS intrudes on the timeline#bc if its early enough. bf would still be Violent idk if it would even be worth it for Herself to give him mirrorwalking#just bc like. even if he Likes ys he'd still be a risk to other people#but like. later in the timeline after he starts to regain some memories and the Human part of him starts to fight through the robot#hes really just like. a scared little kid. hes 14 but hes pretty regressed socially due to Insane amounts of trauma#maturity of a 14 year old. hides behind YS like a shy 6 year old when other bfs are over#cyborg bf is like. pre-apocalyptic. 'something very bad is Going to happen so we need to stop it'#and maybe ys cant help with the Actual Apocalyptic Threat but he can help these children recover from their own personal post-apocalypse#probably had a decent amount of angst about that not being Enough but when doesnt he#the fact that this kid trusts him and feels safe around him despite everything is enough to convince him to keep trying#....... anywayNDNQBSKQHSJ#BEDTIME. GN#💛#rgbfverse#cyborg bf au
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it is baffling to me that ppl keep insisting "if its not sprite then what IS it tho?" and seemingly do not...retain the recipes that are being shared. like you dont have to memorize them its just repeatedly "is lemonade not sprite though? how is it not sprite?"
"its lemon juice, water, and sugar"
"is it not the same as sprite?" no we just told u. does that sound like sprite to you. does sprite give you the vibe of juicing some lemons on a hot summer day? the lemonade version closest to Sprite over here, in terms of Being Lemonade, is still Notably Different from sprite, or any other soda, is probably Minute Maid, a highly processed branded lemonade that you can occasionally get from soda fountains (DESPITE! NOT BEING CARBONATED! similar to how they somehow dispense iced or sweet tea from soda fountains) it sometimes comes in a can or 2L bottle similar to soda, in the soda isle. and its Not Soda. its not Carbonated. its Trying To Pretend So Hard To Be Real Lemonade. it tastes like lemonade thats a bit sad. it is far more lemonade than SPRITE will ever be. if yall were simply insisting that lemonade is carbonated, that it was like, fizzy minute maid, that would be less offensive than calling sprite lemonade. which is Insane. good god.
#toy txt post#it is a beverage simple enough that *I* could make it#you could Find Out#you dont Have To. but its right there#see Here its easy even if you dont want to Juice Lemons cos they sell powdered lemonade that is so so decent#countrytime my beloved. im sure Real Lemonade drinkers might shit on me even for that#and YES god Victorians did get crazy with the fizzy lemonade they had those like glass bauble things to add bubbles that sometimes just#exploded. but the fact that you got so removed from it that you're calling sprite lemonade 😭. youre calling FANTA lemonade? surely not the#orange soda??? at least call it orangeade or some shit. it would still be wrong but like. christ alive these are different fruits#the idea of calling VIOLENTLY orange most artifical shit ive ever tasted in my life soda lemonade is just. sending me#like i Like An Orange Soda. thats Extremely Not Lemonade#idk like we have Processed ass lemonades. i tend to have those cos im lazy. but i Could Make Real Lemonade#my Favorite processed lemonade rn is the calypso brand. its so flavorful. im also susceptible to the cute glass bottle unfortunately.#i really like the strawberry lemonade and the blue one#sigh#this is probably akin to saying that apple juice is the same as cider. or smth. except no its still worse#also our ciders are different bc alcoholic or Hard Cider is not considered the Default here but i understand its the default elsewhere#anyway. sorry to all my non american friends about bringing up Lemonade Discourse Yet Again#if we ever visit. in either direction. i will have to try to make you some proper lemonade so you can understand how egregious it is#to hear it called 'sprite'#and also so u can have some yummy lemonade#it hits so much better on a hot summer day than sprite fr#sneaking premixed strawberry lemonade over in those little alcohol bottles they allow on airplanes. i am arrested at customs for trying to#impose Big Lemonade into what is clearly the territory of Big Sprite#anyway i think if travelling americans recieved Actual Cloudy Lemonade that Happened To Be Fizzy they might be like oh shit! why is it#fizzy! did you mix sprite in it or something? it would still be DISTINCT from sprite. the fact that yall think theyre the same.....#thats some real. mint chocolate chip ice cream tastes like toothpaste shit. No The Fuck It Doesnt what are you on#for one toothpaste is sharper and stronger usually. unless youre using the mild mint ones i guess. i Dont. for 2 it leaves you mouth#feeling fresh and clean. mint ice cream is yummy for sure#but it does not leave my mouth feeling clean or fresh or even give me minty breath or anything. smh
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This is old art and not my favorite but...
#greek mythology#icarus#artists on tumblr#artwork#traditional art#watercolor#colored pencil#old art#mixed media#mixed feelings#idk i jusy wanted to post something lol#this was the first thing i saw in my camera roll that felt decent enough#i kinda like it though#the skynturned out good#the prompt was hatred but idk if that comes across#hatred#vent art#i guess
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#I might delete this later but I'm feeling a bit disheartened and want to just put this out there into the world but not super publicly#But like#The worst part of being overweight in my opinion is that it's so so hard to feel cute or pretty or even decent looking#I'm going to Japan with my older brother next week and I've been curating a cutesy Lolita-esque style outfit for the trip and I finally#got the last of the pieces so I tried it all on. And it's just... no matter how hard I try I can't really see myself as cute in it#I don't know maybe pink isn't my color and this just isn't my style. But.#I tried really hard to make an outfit I'd feel cute in and it's devastating to not really see myself as cute#And it's not really that I think I look bad per se it's just...#I don't know#Not what I wanted it to be I guess#And I know that if I posted pictures people would say ''wow you look great!!!'' because people always say that kind of thing#But I'd always think they were lying or were playing it up#Even if they really weren't#I just wanted to feel cutesy and everything and it hurts somewhere deep inside to not feel that way#I'll still wear the outfit in Japan since I spent enough time and money on this outfit but it really dampens my enthusiasm#And this wasn't the first time I've tried on the dress obviously. I've been trying it on periodically all along#But I kept hoping that once it was done and I had the makeup all on maybe I'd finally be able to see myself as cute#But no#I still don't. Not really.#It doesn't help that the dress itself doesn't even fit properly#I got it on sale which is what sparked this whole idea in the first place and it was always a size too small#It never zipped properly but I was able to work around that with an outer corset that held it closed#And a lace shrug that helped hide the weird bunching in the back#I can sometimes get the dress zipped now since I've lost a little weight#But it's a struggle and I can only do it about half the time and it feels like I'm going to break the zipper each time#I'd think to buy a new dress but a) that would cost even more money and I've already spent way more than I had wanted in my endeavor#to feel cute in this dress. And b) all of the accessories are tailored to this dress specifically#It would be hard to find a good replacement and there is no guarantee that would even help#So I just... I don't know#It's just hard.
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Introducing: Mojave Sunrise
A multi-muse Fallout (and other media. i suppose.) rp blog.
Cleaver | Frostbite | Quinn
#centi speaks [ooc]#i. suppose this is a decent enough promo/pinned. gestures vaguely#fallout#i. guess i can also tag#ieytd#you all seem friendly with ask blogs and such. and this is teeechnically an ieytd askblog if you squint hard enough.#if you know me from my main. hi :]#im being so brave right now#anyways. take my post. scuttles away
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mfw i spent yeeeeears in college aaaaaagonizing about how to turn a short fanfic of mine into a full-length original work and was working on it with my professor and through all the editing became really embarrassed of the original fanfic version thinking it was immature and shallow but could also never make the rewrite work so i moved onto other projects and then today after a very long time reread both of them only to find that the original fic is concise and heartfelt with clunky execution but solid and gripping emotional beats and the novelization is overwritten self-obsessed garbo
#i think i posted about it here a decent amount too#i was surprised at how much i liked the fic but honestly shocked at how bad the rewrite was#like not to dog on myself too much#but i wrote the fic originally for a class on short stories#(which is why i wanted to rewrite it in the first place - if i was already disguising it as original work might as well go all the way)#(see how far we can make this premise go)#so the original is super super to the point and like yeah clearly written by an 18 year old and dramatic but also very tastefully paced#like i was genuinely surprised at how effective i thought a lot of it was#i don't tend to toot my own horn about my writing especially not my old writing i was genuinely chuffed#then i had the dangerous thought of 'maybe i could give the rewrite idea another go this time more in the spirit of the original'#'keep it short and punchy and focused on the characters and their dynamic while updating it w my skills now and use it for grad school apps#but then i thought no...that was the vision i had when i was 18#this is sort of a pun bc it's a story about ghosts but i should just let it lie and move on#personal#i was genuinely so put off by the writing of the rewrite that i was like wtf wait...i like...submitted this to lit mags on campus didn't i#did some digging found that it was the opening scene - which was THE most overwritten wanky part of it in my current self's eyes -#that i submitted to (and got published in) the lit mag i worked on in my little college community#girl nooooooooo i mean i guess the other girlies liked it enough to put it in#but it's odd i guess how time changes your perception/value judgments
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it's always kind of a weird situation when you dislike something but it's not because it's bad, so it feels like it's difficult to explain why you don't like it.
i really dislike Ace Attorney 4, just. based on vibes alone. and i sound like a crazy person every time i try to explain it KRKFK
i simply don't like it. but i see why people like it, too. i respect how bold it was with the direction it wished to take the series. it didn't want to rest on its laurels and tried a new angle for the games. it just didn't work for me. i love DD and SOJ, they're my favorite games in the series, but they play way too safe after the mixed reaction to AA4 and it really undermined Apollo's character, and the other characters tbh.
i don't really care about most of the plot points set up in AA4 so it doesn't actually bother me, but i see on an objective level that it's fucking absurd that they dropped everything except for like, the dark age law stuff and if i was an AA fan experiencing DD and SOJ as they came out i'd be kinda pissed they just ignored everything AA4 set up.
it's just profoundly, deeply not for me. and i'm kinda relieved the rest of the trilogy didn't follow in its footsteps. i guess that's all i should have to say.
#psy's no punctuation posts#aa tag#it's literally just like...#i hate the way it looks (the vibes of the visuals are rancid to me. even though it looks the exact same as the original trilogy)#like i can't explain it but the set and character designs Bother Me so so deeply. completely inexplicably#the characters are okay i guess but i had a hard time getting into them. love Trucy n Kristoph tho#i don't particularly like the cases either... they have good moments. i like Wocky. i actually like 4-3 a decent amount. Vera was cool#i think 4-3 is not near as bad as peop;le act funny enough KRKF. i actually liked that case the most out of the 4#i don't really like Klavier. Apollo feels flat in this one. he and Klavier have no chemistry to even speak of#like you (i) get this profound feeling of 'they have no feelings about each other. not positive nor negative. that's how little they impact#each other's lives' and DD only made that feeling worse. it was like awkwardly running into a kid you went to school with#but wasn't even friends with so you just awkwardly say hi and then move on lol#like it feels so odd that i can't put my finger on why i hate the vibes of this game so much#i just. hated it i don't know!!!#i can see why AA4 is so divisive. i was chatting with my pal Lavender the other night about AA and she LOVED AA4 and i could see why#after she explained why it worked for her. just didn't click for me. i am not a fan
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accidentally fell asleep after my morning shower (bc i fell asleep on my floor last night accidentally lmao) and am finally waking up fully again and i just wish i could ask my body how it needs this much sleep, yet never seems to give me much actual energy to use. like. what is the sleep going towards lol
#text post#it's fine bc like#i got stuff done yesterday sort of#so today will be try to write and maybe sketching? bc i keep thinking abt doing that#i need to actually get my ass out of the bed and go down to chill with Housemate first tho#in my defense: blankets and bed so cosy and im so weak sometimes against being oh so cosy akdnfjnfng#if i manage to sketch anything decently maybe I'll post it up here#or if it's bad enough ill post it so y'all can guess what i was trying to draw aksndnfng
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been reading through some of the author commentary from the patreon post archive for HS^2 stuff & writing notes on certain quotes from it and i think i've come up with (slightly) more distinct reasons for why the epilogues/homestuck^2 feel so off and/or frustrating to me. not gonna post the full thing + i'm only about halfway through reading it all, but here's a few points (warning this one gets kinda political):
It’s possible “Ultimate” Dirk’s presence was suppressing other splinters of himself from manifesting.
Wait, so... Ult. Dirk is just suppressing the other splinters? But I thought the entire point was that he subsumed all the other splinters to become one Ultimate Self? Weird, but I guess that plays more into the narrative powers side of things that they put a lot of emphasis on. That, or the creators don't have a very clear idea of what actually makes an Ultimate Self, which would. also work lmfao
Unlike the other victors of the game, Jane threw herself into the world the kids made together. She grew up preparing to take over a major company, and has the confidence to show for it.
Gonna get more into two ideas here in a bit related to this quote, the first being HS^2's Trump Era politics & the second being Jane more specifically. Here's the first connection:
I don’t know if you noticed, but everything is terrible right now. And I don’t mean just in Homestuck’s dumb fake earth. I mean in our dumb real earth. Our planet is burning and folks go to bed hungry just so twelve guys can have more money than Croesus could have ever dreamed of. The concept of “truth” is at its most tenuous – political divisions involve contradictory interpretations of basic facts. I’ve been playing a lot of Death Stranding recently. Basically any media that you’re making in 2019 has to either address what’s going on around us or come off sanitized, sterilized, with its head in the sand. Kojima offers a simple power fantasy: Through Norman Reedus’s sweaty, urine-filled labor, the things that divide us can be banished. America can be unified again.
HS^2 is kind of agonizingly pessimistic when it comes to its (not at all subtle) political messaging, which I suppose you can in part attribute to a Trump-era leftist/liberal culture, but I personally also attribute to a specific flavor of white person existential pessimism. What frustrates me about HS^2's politics in particular though is just how much it talks down to the reader, acting like their (frankly, imo, pretty fuckin basic) reflections on the flaws of capitalism, gender constructs, and contemporary American politics are these revolutionary ideas that nobody other than them truly understands. It's really aggravating to read, honestly, and reminds me a lot of the perspective reflected on in this video by F.D Signifier about Bo Burnham's Inside & white performative liberalism, though in this context the creators are much more insufferable about it than Burnham ever was. (This is NOT to say every creator working on HS^2 was white or even ascribes/d to these kinds of politics, but that's one of the voices that I feel comes through the strongest.)
Edit: Re-watched that whole video and he really does get at the exact idea I'm thinking of. However, I would add that the thing that makes HS^2 feel especially insufferable to me is the fact that it doesn't feel like the authors are engaging in their politics as genuinely or personally as Burnham does. Where Burnham's look into these issues is self-reflective, the existential dread coming from the ways in which he himself plays a part in perpetuation of systems of oppression, I feel like HS^2's creators were unwilling to look at the ways in which they themselves might've benefited from the same kinds of privileges. It's just- it's egotistical, honestly! And it's a vibe that I get from a lot of heavily queer, young, white fandom spaces, which presume that because of their own experiences with queer and trans-based bigotry they understand everything and don't have to examine their own biases or any other nuances to their social position/the privileges they might personally have & continue to benefit from. I don't know- Homestuck was never going to be a good medium for examining the nuances of race and privilege, that was determined by the very first page or whenever Hussie decided non-canon races were a thing, but that doesn't make it any less agonizing to watch such a ham-fisted, pompous attempt at "social commentary." Ugh.
I guess I can understand the desire to get HS^2's politics to be more up to date and with it, again considering what the Trump-era American political landscape looked like (and what HS proper looked like, let's be real), but the way they approach this just makes the authors seem that much more immature to me. I hesitate to even call this political commentary, it's just pointing out that things are bad and then complaining about it. There's no hope here and it shows, and I personally have very little patience when it comes to that kind of perspective. I don't want to be too harsh to the creators or completely undermine the ways they might've faced structural social challenges (yes, trans people have it fucking bad right now! And there was absolutely some bigoted shit directed at the creators that was more reprehensible than anything here, I was there when this shit was coming out, I saw it all too (alongside the genuinely good criticism that they wrote off just as easily, but I digress)), but this shit is just bad, I'm sorry.
Privilege, safety, and inherited wealth do funny things to the brain. People justify to themselves why they have what they have. If you have enough for long enough, you start to convince yourself you deserve it. Jane won the game, lost very little, and as god of a new world decided to dominate its markets as a corporate mogul. Her conception of what was possible with her capability and god-like reason was shaded, limited by the world she grew up in. She is not a goddess of fantasy, a semi-mythical trickster creature like Jasprose, or a meta-aware marionette master like Dirk. She saw a new world and chose, simply, to replicate the power structures of the 21st-century America she was raised in. Boardrooms, power pantsuits, formality and professionalism.
(Longer quote here justifying the horror they did to Jane's character but let's add one more before I elaborate further)
But in the end, isn’t that what every story is? Trying to untie knots that you put in the rope yourself?
This quote is very telling and gets at my issue with the Jane quote from above, really one of my main issues with the all post-canon shit just in general: when the authors were creating a bunch of problems and inserting them into the story, something that is (typically) necessary for any kind of meaningful storytelling, they went about the process of introducing that conflict totally wrong.
In the original story of HS, problems for the characters primarily originated from Sburb, which acts as both the game they're playing and, as is demonstrated throughout Act 1, the world itself. Problems in the story thus often feel at least kind of true to life because they either originate directly from the game & its constructs (which the characters have no control over, parallel to how you can't usually control the world irl) or individuals responding to those circumstances w/ their own set of unique characteristics (Vriska being an active character and creating villains to become a hero but also Rose deciding she has to go through with a suicide mission in response to the game/Doc Scratch and Dave in turn responding to her actions, etc. etc.).
This is not necessarily true for all of the story or every single plot point/character arc, but I think it generally follows, and so for as meta as HS gets, it never really felt to me like you could see the hand of the author when it comes to how major plot elements are introduced, outside of a few very overt examples. Problems are able to crop up fairly naturally through characters responding in what they think to be natural/rational ways to their circumstances, but may or may not be due to the limitations on their understanding. The situation and environment of Sburb and the world of HS itself may be absurd and stupid and crazy and very obviously created by an author, but the characters typically feel consistent and true to themselves as people in how they respond to the absurdity and confusion of their world. It's one of the reasons why I think HS is so appealing as a coming of age story actually, since stepping into adulthood (or even just your teenage years) does often feel like entering a world that is crazy and cruel and unknowable with all of these malicious, far-away forces that know way more than you could ever possibly understand controlling every detail of the world around you and deciding your fate before you even get the chance to know it's coming. These are kids, they really don't have a lot of power even once they ascend to godhood in comparison to the forces they're dealing with, and the story & world reflects that.
The problem w/ HS^2 & the Epilogues is that the authors don't have the same game construct to work with, barely have a world at all to begin with actually, and so they instead twist pretty much every single character into the worst possible versions of themselves in order to try and recreate the same HS absurdity. But it just doesn't work, because there is no real explanation for why every character is suddenly at their lowest point and acting like a fucking idiot all the time other than "ooo adulthood makes everyone worse!" and vague gestures to capitalism and privilege (or what I would call structural ignorance, though I don't think they ever call it that), so the story just comes across as incredibly cruel and uncaring and unabashedly pessimistic in a way that's just miserable to read.
Yes, Jane grew up privileged, it makes sense that she would be sympathetic to capitalism and try to recreate the same social structures that fucked people up on the original Earth- but that is not nearly enough justification for why she has suddenly gone full fascist dictator endorsing troll eugenics and trying to murder people, and it doesn't even work well as social commentary cause it's so extreme right from the start that it couldn't possibly reflect real life issues or the development of actual fascist/bigoted ideas. Yes, Trump's ties to the alt-right are fucking terrifying and conservative politics in general in the U.S. nowadays are incredibly fucked, but there's still logical people and seemingly rational explanations being utilized to justify the bullshit that many people genuinely believe in and HS^2 fails to meaningfully reflect or comment on any of those, at least from what I can tell. Everyone is consistent with how they are terrible, I'll give them that, for Dirk and Jane and everyone else the flaws that are being emphasized are ones that are generally kind of consistent with canon, but I simply cannot get behind why they suddenly decided to be the worst possible versions of themselves other than that the authors realize they needed plot and decided that the best way to make Candy and Meat the Bad Timelines:tm: was to spontaneously make everyone as insufferable as possible.
I think a part of the problem is the time skip, honestly. And the fact that Earth C as a location itself is surprisingly underutilized when it comes to creating problems for the characters. The characters are gods ruling over a world where they can be dictator of the globe at the end of a single election. Without the game and the lack of distinct outside villains, there is nothing stopping them from having full agency over everything other than each other, so in order to create plot, instead of going through the effort to create a world or social structure they just made everyone worse and called it a day. It's like the epitome of white liberalism's inability to understand bad systems vs. bad individuals- there are no real systems here, nothing that actually functions past a name, so everyone is just fucking terrible.
(Honestly, I think the fact that there are no overt outside villains could've been a good way of transitioning to the fact that these characters aren't kids anymore- if Dirk and Jane didn't have to be transformed into fucking caricatures of themselves in order to do it. Really the problem is that so many of the characters that used to add interesting nuance to the social conflict are fucking dead now. RIP trolls.)
Since this is turning out to be the political astronaut ramble I guess I'll just keep going for a bit: one of the most meaningful insights a professor has ever given to me came is the idea that we "haven't earned our pessimism yet," as the younger generations, or haven't faced The Shit directly or long enough to justify having as little hope as we do. Many of us have looked at the problem and given up before even trying to solve it, and are, in fact, not really justified in making such a decision.
For me, there's an additional layer to that idea as well: one of the ideas that Beauvoir talks about in her feminist philosophy is that of agency, wherein social privilege allows for certain groups to decide which meaning-creating projects they want to or to not take on where others are not allowed to make the same choice. If you sit in any kind of position of social privilege, that historical role has continually been the one to not only benefit from the rules, but make them in the first place. This kind of pessimism is thus not just unearned, not just frustrating to listen to, but actively harmful to the creation of meaningful change. Who really benefits from inaction? From a lack of change to the status quo? And who are the privileged to make decisions about whether or not we're allowed to fight for this shit in the first place?
#astronaut rambles#big warning this one got a lot more political (sorry?)#i hope this doesn't come across as too harsh ik it gets a little preachy at the end#but i just. i have *so* little patience for that shit now guys#it was insufferable when hs^2 was first coming out and the creators were scrambling to justify their own actions#all the while bullying any fans that dared to try and reasonably criticize their terrible and/or questionable creative decisions#and it only gets worse the more time that passes#i almost get secondhand embarrassment reading these commentaries just from how unprofessional they can be#do not recommend#hs#rose tag#it's kind of difficult for me to properly criticize post-canon stuff actually#i don't know what it is about it#it's like it's just consistent enough w/ just enough half-decent ideas that sometimes i think its not that bad or ill even enjoy parts of i#but then i read certain comments and just. Remember#the Horrors#kinda scared to post this one but i've read it over a few times guess i'll just go for it
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#i am once again here to talk in the tags#tw for mental health issues and me just generally talking about struggling i guess#this is your chance to scroll past#so i am once again feeling overwhelmed haha#yeah texting my parents about taking a gap was the smartest thing i did#i can't do this for a while#i just need to like stop for a year and not run on empty anymorw#i feel like I'm drowning in school work all the fucking time#i didn't even submit this essay because my brain was just not#I'm hoping my convenor let's me submit it late#i honestly just need to submit it because the way things are looking I'm a little worried about graduating ngl#or graduating well enough to enter my next phase of study post gap year#it just feels like so fucking much all the time#on a brighter note i took a shower and took care of my hair and i feel more human now#so there's that in the realm of small victories#i know i can do this#i still have a little over a month to turn shit around#well around enough to graduate with a decent average#hopefully#there is always tomorrow#rj vents#this feels more like a vent so I'll tag it as such lol#i don't even do things i enjoy#i really need to try reintroducing stuff that brought me joy in my life again#outside of writing that is#that does still bring me happiness#other than that? lmao.#but i do need to try
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been quite a while since i last posted anything so here's a humble offering in the form of a hint towards the next gifset to come (which i actually started months ago, i'm just not happy with how the blending turns out so far and haven't really gotten around to fixing it). kinda wondering whether any mutuals/followers/passersby would recognize the song
#not fandom#music#Liam whispers into the void#Liam's stuff#guitar#as always i immediately started playing worse and with a milliard of mistakes after hitting the rec button but what else is new#still arrived at a uh allegedly decent take earlier than i thought i would#vkbsdfvkjb hopefully the audio quality is good enough i did the best i could#(btw any nudging towards finishing the gifset in question would be welcome cuz my executive function is a disgrace#and it would honestly mean a lot if anyone would wanna see it)#anyway! please enjoy. if you can#lowkey contemplating promising to make sth for the first person to recognize the song but not sure about my spoons to carry through it#but well. if anyone guesses correctly you're welcome to request me a simple pastel/digital sketch or a simple gifset or sth idk#with the disclaimer that it might take me a bit of a while to get around to#(am i aware that the chances of more than two (2) people as much as noticing this post are next to nothing? yep)#(am i putting this out anyway? yep. why the hell not)
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i just got an email from wattpad about a comment on my fic. my fic from 2019.
oh my god the nostalgia
i went and read through the fic and of course it's horrendous, i still have a slightly similar language style but the plot is just bad the whole thing is confusing and full of plotholes and the dialogue is even worse that mine is now but it's so cute
that was my first fic in a fandom, potentially the first thing i ever contributed to a fandom because I've never really been a vocal fan, and people still love it
it has 33k reads and potentially over 100 comments from people who were definitely confused with my writing but still laughing along and it made me so happy to see that even if i wasn't a good writer back then, people still enjoyed it
also, randomly, i just realised it will be exactly 4 years since i uploaded the first chapter in 3 days. damn.
yeah idk i just thought it was really sweet looking back at what i was doing in fandoms when i was younger and had no clue what i was doing
#i still don't really have a clue#but im pretty decent at blending in#yeah also just opening the wattpad browser hit me with nostalgia by itself#i stopped posting fics on there i think later 2020#at that point i fully switched to ao3#so yeah it's been a while#i know if i scroll back far enough on here i will find my fics from 5 years ago#because i originally posted this fic im talking about on here and then i moved it to wattpad#so that and a ton of others are right at the bottom festering away#i would check but it might take hours to scroll back#literally i have every single fandom i was in from the past 5 years documented#except one because it didn't have a community here#im rambling again#but yeah cool way to start the day i guess
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Saw reports of changes in the tg/cf revision that are personally very disconcerting. I am looking away. I do not see it.
#my thoughts#they sound distressing but I am telling myself I do not care enough#which is decently true I guess#this is mostly a vent post btw
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