#guess im splitting it into 3 chapters after all

[mrs-luigi-vargas]

My outline's almost 5k and I'm not done with it :/

[homestylehughes]

do i know you?

coffee girl: part 2

pairings: luke hughes x fem!reader

summary: y/n's first day on the job, after her encounter big spill with luke hughes. her first day's is going as expected, until she locks eyes with luke, the tension begins to unfold.

wc: 1.6k

warnings: nervous and shy reader and luke. cuteness overload, cussing. fluff? nothing too crazy yet! cliffhanger kinda AGAIN

authors note: OMG HI!! i'm so so sorry it took me forever to get this up. college is actually kicking my ass. (someone help me). ANYWAYS this chapter is more of a filler, more reader focused. we will be getting to the good stuff soon, promise!!! thank you for all of your love and support, so so thankful. like and reblog if you enjoy. as always much love.

happy reading <3

Holy shit I got the job. I got the fucking job. The job that I was late to my interview for, because I ran into cute, sweet, day ruining Luke Hughes, spilling coffee on me and now we’re here.

I'm practically skipping out of the prudential Center, a smile on my face that nothing can take off, even the split coffee on my shirt. 

I start the walk back to my apartment, with a pep in my step. opening my door, my little orange baby Moe greeting me at my feet. 

“Hi, little baby” “mommy got her job” I said to him in a whiney pet voice as I lifted him up into my arms, cradling him into my chest. God, I need more friends, I think to myself.

But none of that matters because I got my dream job, that world is on my side right now. I put Moe back on the ground after our cuddle session, picking up my bag and making my way towards the bathroom. 

I take in my state, Luke's hoodie still covering my body, his scent filling my senses. Letting out a deep sigh, I pulled off the hoodie and put it in my laundry basket. Slowly making my way to my closet, pulling on the first things I find, and plopping myself into my bed. 

My eyes began to slowly close, the events of today filling my mind as I drift off to sleep. 

—

Today is the first day of my job. I'm shitting bricks, I'm not ready for this. You can do this y/n I think to myself, this isn't anything you haven't done before. You are more than qualified for this position. You've worked with athletes before, but these are insanely attractive athletes, but most importantly Luke Hughes is one of them. Fuck…Luke Hughes. 

Im quickly pulled out of my day dream, when the elevator door dings open. Swiftly making my way to my office, my office. 

Walking into the office I call my own, seems unreal, looking around once I set the box of my things on my desk, along with setting my purse in one of the chairs in front of it. Walking around the space taking it all. 

I'm quickly pulled out of my daydream again today when I hear a man's voice behind me. 

“I'm guessing youre y/n y/l/n?” turning around quickly, to meet eyes with the nameless man standing in the doorway.

“Hi yes, I'm y/n, nice to meet you?” I say holding out my hand to the man, whose name I still haven't gotten. “Hi, it's lovely to meet you! I'm Tyler but everyone calls me Ty!” Tyler or I guess ty says, shaking my hand with a smile on his face. 

“I'm guessing you like your place?” Tyler says behind me as we both look around the office, “Yes it's great! I love it already '' I smile back at him.

“Great! Hope you're ready, to meet the team, in about… 5 minutes” he says, as he checks his watch. Oh god, in 5 minutes, i haven't even unpacked yet. Oh gosh what if they all hate me. Oh my god, Luke. Will he remember me??

“I can see everything you're thinking on your face, they're going to love you, the whole team is excited to meet you. It's not everyday we get a female athletic trainer.” Ty says to me pulling me out of my thoughts, calming me down slightly.

“Thank you, i needed that” I sigh out back to him 

“Of course, are you ready?” 

“Yes? I think” Ty chuckles in response, as we make our way out of the office. 

“I'll give you a better in depth tour than the one you've had earlier, later. Sound good?” he says from beside me, nodding my head in agreement. As we make our way through the halls of the center. 

We finally make our way to what I think is the Devils locker room, my heartbeat begins to pick up. 

“The boys finished up practice about 45 minutes ago” Ty says as he's going to open the door, his back now turned to me. “I'm going to go in first to make sure they're all dressed and somewhat put together” he chuckles out to me. 

“Okay, I'll be here,” I say before he enters the locker room. 

It feels like 30 minutes goes by, but it's actually probably only been 2. 

I see Ty head pop out, “y/n, are you ready?” 

“Yes!” NO I  want to say, but I'll keep that to myself. Taking a deep breath, I follow Ty into the locker room. 

Walking in the locker room, I instantly feel 40 pairs of eyes on me. Oh gosh this is scarier than I thought, I say to myself. 

“Gentleman, this y/n, our new athletic trainer!” Ty says gesturing to me, our eyes locking briefly, silently asking me to say something. 

“Hi guys! I'm y/n! I'm really excited to work with guys "I say, as I pause to try and think of something else to say. 

“I'm not going to lie, I'm not sure what else to say… you guys make me nervous.” I laugh nervously. The whole room erupted in chuckles. 

They found that funny? I'll take it. 

“I like her already” I hear a few players chuckle out. My nerves are finally beginning to settle, until I lock eyes with him. Luke. 

It feels like my whole world stops, as his eyes lock with mine, our eyes swimming in each other, his gaze is so strong, it's almost like he’s trying to figure out who I am. 

I'm the first to break contact. Turning around to only get pulled into a conversation with the training staff, as they quickly pulled me out of the locker room, to show me around the rest of the building. 

I can't shake the feeling of Luke's eyes on me, as they show me around. My mind is still foggy from our interaction. 

— 

My “first day” was more of a tour and getting the feel of where everything was. I was even able to get my office together. This is beginning to feel like home I think to myself. Im pulled out my thoughts when I hear a knock on my door.

“Come in!” I shout out, from my desk, my face in the paperwork I'm currently filling out, not bothering to raise my head, thinking it's one of trainers. 

“One second, just trying to do this last bit of paperwork” I say, as my pen is quickly moving across the page. 

“You're okay, take your time” says the voice that I know oh so well, the voice that's been stuck in my head for the last 4 days. 

I slowly bring my head up from my desk, my eyes slowly taking over Luke's figure, taking in his appearance. He's just as beautiful as I member

Quickly snapping out of my trance, clearing my throat “Hi Luke, did you need something?” I ask as politely and professionally as I can. 

“Do I know you from somewhere?” Luke quickly says to me.

“Um.” I am trying to figure out a way to continue this conversation.

I feel Luke's eyes run over my face for the second time today. I see his mouth slowly open, as he runs his hand over his face, letting out a sigh. 

“Oh my gosh, you're the girl I spilt her coffee on like a week ago aren't you?” 

“It's actually been four days but, yes that's me.” I say back letting out a breathlily laugh to my desk. 

“Shit, i'm so so sorry” he rambles out quickly. “Its okay, I promise, it was an accident” 

“But I made you cry, oh my gosh. You were on the way to your interview here, weren't you?”

“Yes I was, but it worked out, I still got the job,” I say, gesturing to the room around us. 

“This is so embarrassing, I'm so sorry.” Luke begins to apologize again. 

“Hey hey, i promise it's okay” i say getting up from my desk, walking around to lean up against the front, to stand in front of Luke. 

“We can start off again on a better foot if you'd like?” I say holding out my hand to him, “Hi, I’m y/n” my hand still being held out in front of him, luke's eyes look me up and before he grasps my hand finally shaking it. “Hi, I’m Luke” he says, staring my eyes. 

“It's nice to meet you” I smile out to him, as our hands drop, his touch still lingering. “You're really pretty when you smile” Luke rasps out to me.

My cheeks begin to heat with a blush, lowering my head, now looking at my feet. 

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

“No, you didn't” i say suddenly “it just surprised me, that's all” 

“Good,” he says quietly, our eyes locked in a soft gaze. 

“I-I should probably get going, let you get back to work.” “Yeah of course, thank you for stopping by” I say, for some reason I don't want him to leave. 

“We’re really happy you're here y/n” luke says to me, there's something about the way Luke says my name, that makes my heart stop for a second. 

“I'm really glad, I'm here too.” 

“Have a great day” he says to me as he makes his way to the door. “You too!” I say turning back to behind my desk. 

Luke turned back once more, to take one final glance in my direction, smiling softly at me again, before closing the door behind him.

I released the breath I didn't even know I was holding out, letting my shoulder fall a little bit.

This job is going to much more difficult than i thought, and it's all because, of my stupid coffee and Luke Hughes. 

[xxmia0wm4yh3mxx]

GLOOZE

(Chapter: 4)

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I really love making these its so fun to write these characters even if im bad at writing :3

I can't wait for chapter five!!!

(Also plz leave comments it makes me happy)

1 2 3

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The Boy stormed out of Able's office after a long and boring lecture about "proper classroom etiquette" and "Treating others how you want to be treated" So stupid... He's definitely never going back to school again

Enock: Hi...

Enock was timidly waiting for The Boy outside

The Boy: What?

Enock: Umm... I- um.. I wanted to- umm...

The Boy: Ugh, Spit it out man!

Enock: Umm.... I thought you were really funny... and... I wanted to give you something...

Enock nervously, he gives him a folded piece of paper, The Boy rolled his eye and grabbed the paper from him

He unfolded the paper and saw a drawing in crayon of him with small angel wings and a halo, it was simple and scratchly drawn in green pen, the drawing itself looked a bit strange, the eye was drawn in a realistically oval shape contrasted to the boy's cartoony circled shaped one, He gazed at the image, examining every doodle surrounding the Strange depiction of the Boy, He could feel his Eye start to water

He started tearing up

Enock: I-I did I do something wrong?? Is it the Artstyle??

The Boy: No... its fine... thanks dude...

Enock: do... do you... wanna play?

The Boy: Uh... sure!

Later, Enock took the boy to a long hall in the circus, unlike the Brightly colored circus, it was cute and pastel, calming yet fun, Doors where placed along side of the pastel walls each having the face and name of the pals on them, on the end of the hallway, right was a Orange colored door in a wacky shape, Enock's picture and Name on it as well as stickers and glitter plastered all over it

Enock: dishes myoom!! I decorated it with pretty stuff! Cool right? Qwerty said it was childish but my mom and dad really likes it!!

The Boy: Wah- Huh- um cool

Enock opened the door and led The Boy inside

It was a spacious room with striped walls and decorated with Drawings, photos and random decor, plushies and toys were everywhere, a small doghouse was sitting against a wall with balloon dog (giraffe?) Was sleeping peacefully, in the corner was a small twin sized bed ridden with plushies and colorful pillows, opposite to the door he entered was a out of place fancy looking door with stickers spread across it to make it blend in more, it was probably just a closet or something

The Boy was utterly entranced by the room like it was a world forged from his wildest dreams

The Boy: sick room dude!!

Enock: really? Forgor to clean it today

Enock: Hey! You wanna see something cool?? I always wanted to show it to someone

The Boy: Okay, hit it

He sit down on the floor

Enock: Okay, here it goes...

Immediately, Enock's body started to morph, he rapidly grew five new pairs of arms and legs, his torso split and his head went into the new cavity, he started levitating in the air

Enock: Guess wha I am!!

The Boy was equal parts gobsmacked and terrified, and a bit impressed

Enock: look Ima Sunshine!!

The Boy: Cool!!

Enock remorphed into his original form

Enock: Really? Everyone says its creepy

The Boy: Its totally awesome man!! What else can you do?

Enock: well... I can do this!!

Enock in Qwerty's voice: My Name is Qwerty and I'm reaaaallly boring and I talk in a boring voice like thiiiissssss

The Boy laughed, And Enock made alot of random cartoon noise in response

The Boy: thats so awesome!!! I bet you can pull a @#$% ton of pranks with that!

Enock: Nah, well, sumtimes, but I usually just make music!

The Boy: You make music too?! What do you sing about?

Enock: usually about things I like, my family, dinosaurs, sometimes death on occasions, food i like, or just random things I like!

The Boy: I always wanted to make music, I can't though, But If I could I would sing about how cool I am! Or maybe about something about dragons

Enock: I love Dragons!! My favorite are the rainbow ones!!

The Boy: I like the Big ones who have GIANT horns and Wings!!!

Enock: Golly! If I had Wings I'd fly just like my dad! And why I could visit Ms. Sun and Moon everyday!!

Enock and The Boy rambled with eachother, topics changing in a second, Enock started flailing his arms and legs and the boy bobbed his head back and forth

Enock: -Ms. Queenie is always in her garden, I like it there! Its really pretty, But she dosent like me in there she says always I step in the flowers, so I have to stare at the flowers from atleast five feet away, Marigolds are my favorite to look at, they're really, really pretty! And its my favorite color!! It also a symbolism of Death! I like death! He sure seems Lika swell guy!! He has a skull for a head lika cally-vara!! I've never had a cally-vara before, My mommy says all that sugar isn't good for me, But I really, really want to! She says I havta eat more veggies, but I don't like veggies at all! There gross, slimy, and green... Oh sorry! I didn't it like that!-

The Boy: No I totally get it! I hate veggies! They're totally gross, And I love gross things! Like, mud and swamps and green moldy cheese and bugs and barf and other stuff! But I don't like Adults, they don't like gross stuff and yell at me when I do things, I hate them!

Enock: I like some adults actually, Like momma and papa and miss sun and moon and miss Ragatha and Miss Gangle and mister miss Zooble and Mister Kinger and Queenie, I don't like Mister Jax though, He's mean to me, each is way I think Patchricia is mean to me, I'm happy my parents are nice, they're the best! My dad is super cool and Can make anything and my mom is super smart! I'm happy I have them And not other Adults, well Ms. Moon and Sun could be my parents, Miss Moon already Likes my mom and Dad and- Hey, Are you Okay?

The Boy was silent, he stopped bobbing his head and had a uncomfortable expression, they just stared at eachother awkwardly for a bit

Enock: Did... Did I ruin it?

The Boy was Still silent and looking at the ground, Enock could sense he was upset, he tired to think of something to cheer him up, and then he got a idea

Enock: Yanna see my house?? Its really cool and fun!!

The Boy: Isn't the Circus You're house?

Enock: No, nota Circus, My dad's manor!

Enock unzips one of his plushies and Grabs a key inside of it, he Goes up to the door opposite from the door they entered and unlocks it

The Boy rolled his eye Enock and the Boy stepped out of His room, Enock took his hand and guided him through the dark halls illuminated by candles sparked with crimson flames

The Boy: Oh Great, I great see your boring bourgeois house

The Boys Jaw drops when he steps out of the halls and sees a long hall draped in vibrant red, long marble pillers accented with gold stretched to ceiling, the ceiling was covered with an artistic mural of the heavens, diamond chandeliers hanged down like willow branches, Sunshine shined through the tallest stained glass windows he had ever seen, a long red velvet carpet spread out before the two childern rolling out farther than the boy could see, it looked like he stepped out of the mortal plane and into some kind of Valhalla

Enock: see? Its pretty isn't it?? This is only wonuva halls though, the actual rooms are much cooler

The Boy was silent, Astonished and completely overwhelmed by the sublime halls of the manor, Enock poked him to get a response

Enock: 大丈夫?

The Boy snapped out of his daze

The Boy: Wah- Huh- Uh.. I mean yeah its cool or whatever I guess...

The Boy tried to keep a cool and uninterested demeanor but Enock could sense he was impressed

Enock: Heyawunna seemy favorite places?

The Boy nodded his head and Enock Eagerly tugged him through the hall, Enock turned left and entered a twisted hall, it looked like it was melted and refrozen again, Enock stopped at a abstract door

Enock stepped aside urging The Boy to Open the door, The boy rolled his eye and pushed the door open, Enock then shoved him into the room

The Boy: Hey!-

Inside of falling on his face like he thought he would, he floated in the air like he was in outer space, floating furniture was scattered across the room, Enock jumped in to join the slimy boy

Enock: Dishestha Gravy Room!!

The Boy: Woah!- uh, Don't you mean Gravity?

The Boy awkwardly turned his body to face him, his jelly body hard to move in zero gravity, Enock Pushed away a full gravy boat the was floating towards him

Enock: Uhh yeah!

Enock: I like this room alot, Its really fun to pretend your flying or in space, I useto bring Qwerty in here, but they don't like it very much, But now you can play with me!! Tag!!

Enock poked his eye and flung himself from a floating table

The Boy: Hey!!

The Boy thrusted himself foward towards Enock, propelling himself like a fish in the water, Enock pushed himself against the wall dodging The Boys attempt to Tag him, they continued to play with eachother, Jumping from Floating furniture and bouncing off walls, after a while, They exited the Gravity room so they could explore more of the manor

Enock: C'mon!! I wanna show you more!!

They sprinted across the mansion, sliding down spiral stair railings and swinging from from antique chandeliers like a Jungle gym, they jumped from room to room, exploring the wacky wonders of the palace, They snacked on the walls and furniture in the candy room, explored in the Giant room, playing with the giant toys, and running from a giant soccer ball rolling towards them, bounced through the bouncey room and walked through an aquarium tunnel that was big enough to fit a blue whale, They Boy was especially estatic at seeing all the Different kinds of sharks

Enock: C'mon Greenie!! I haven't showed you the Safari Room Yet!!

The Boy: Im Coming Man! I'm still getting used to my Body!

The Two boys were running through the halls, Enock zipped past the rooms, The Boy barely being able to keep up with him with his gelatinous form, The Boy reached a fork in the road between two entrances, The right entrance emitted a soft glow, Curiously, he went right

He entered a large foyer, its colors where split down the middle, on the Side The Boy was on was bright warm red and on the opposite side in front of him was a soft blue manor, he slowly squirmed his way to the boy side

Enock: STOP!!! そこへ行かないで!!

Enock grabbed The boy and placed him on the red side of the manor

Enock: where not allowed to go on that side! My Uncle is kinda weird about his part of the house, Its boring there anyway so I don't like going there anyways, Qwertys allowed on my dads side because My dad is alot more fun than my Uncle, and also I think that My dad likes Qwerty more than My Uncle likes me, Momma says I'm being silly and that he loves me but I'm not really sure because he never wants to play with me and looks at me funny when I talk and-

Enock turned to see the boy staring up at the giant family painting placed between the red and blue side, He had a strange strange expression that Enock couldn't really identify

Enock: Hey... you al'ght?

The Boy: Im Fine....

Enock: No you're not, I can tell you're sad-

The Boy: I said Im FINE!!

Enock jumped back at the Boy's yelling, The Boy looked back at the Ground awkwardly, Enock could tell he was upset, he hated when his friends were sad, he had do to something, anything but stay here where he was upset

Enock: You... You Wanna go Play with The other Pals?

The Boy: ......

in the grounds the Pals are hanging out and play with eachother, Patchricia and Niku are playing tic-tac-toe together, Princessa and Princely are identifying bugs with eachother and was quietly Qwerty is reading a book

Patchricia: AH! I win again!

Niku: How do you keep beating me?? Are you playing a trick or something??

Patchricia: Nope, Guess im just naturally skilled!

Enock walked to join them, The boy trailing behind him

Enock: おはようございます、皆さん!!!

All of pals let out a audible groan

Qwerty: Enock, it is 4:05 pm, it is not morning anymore

Enock: I-I knew That!!

Enock twiddled his hands nervously before turning to the boy

Enock: So umm... Whattawanna play?

The Boy: I dunno, I'm done for anything

Enock: OH! OH! Can we play play space cowboys?? I never get to play that game!

The Boy: Uhhh.... Okay, sounds cool

Enock and the Boy were having a pretend standoff, using sticks as Laser pistols

Enock: This Spaceship ain't big enough for the both of us!!

The Boy: oh Yeah?? Well you know is big enough for the spaceship?

Enock: Who??

The Boy: YOUR MOM!!

They Boy let out a war cry and charged towards him, followed by Enock making a High pitched Screech while sprinting towards the boy, The crashed into eachother and thudded on the ground, they got off the ground and chased eachother, giggling while doing so

The Other Pals gave them passing looks, trying to ignore the loud racket the two boys where making

Enock: You're time is up Space Criminal! You can't out run the law!!

The Boy spinned around

The Boy: Well I can Out laser the Law, with this SICK @#$ HELL RAILGUN!

The boy positioned his hands to look like he was holding an invisible gun

Enock: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! PAUSE, PAUSE! Who know what would be cooler than a pretend railgun??

The Boy cocked his head

Enock: a REAL Railgun! I can manifest it!

The Boy: You can Do that?!

Enock: Yeah!! JusHolon, I neda focus...

Enock took a deep breath and closed his eyes, he held his hands close together leaving a small space between them, The Boy watched as Enock's body strain and jitter

The Boy stared at him confused on what he was doing exactly, His confusion quickly turned to amazement when he saw a low polygon shape glitching into existence forming between his hands

The Boy: Dude!! That is Sick!!

Enock strained his body harder, beads of sweat trickling down his tooth face, he gritted his teeth together forcing all his mind power into his craft, the random pile of polygons glitched and flickered until it took on a rectangular shape, it flashed random colors it and started lighting up like a lantern, Qwerty Looked up from their book

Qwerty: ENOCK!-

In a split, A loud boom erupted throughout the the grounds, The pals were thrown violently, their screams lost amidst the chaos. Debris rained down, scattering in every direction, while dust and smoke stained the air

Slowly, they all got up, racked by the explosion and covered in dirt and smoke

Patchricia: Is everyone okay?..

Niku: ...No...

Enock crawled out of a small crater created by his attempt at creation

Enock: ugh... ....Cheesy rice...

Patchricia: ENOCK!!

Patchricia ran up to Enock, Rage filled her Cotten body

Patchricia: WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT ENOCK?! DO YOU REALISE SOMEONE COULD'VE HURT?? OR KILLED??

Enock Shrinked into himself, stroking the tendrils that dangled from his head to calm himself from the shaking panic that spread through his body

Enock: I... I didn't...

His breath hitched, tears welling up in his eyes, Niku waddled up to the Two, limping due to the pieces they lost

Niku: its not his Fault Patchy, He- He didn't know

Patchricia: I KNOW, he never means to mess things up, but he keeps doing things he KNOWS are Stupid!!

Patchricia: Maybe He should pay more Attention to the Real world instead of playing pretend all day and babbling about Skeletons and zombies like a He's a Stupid Baby!!

Tears streamed down Enock's face his voice hitching between sharp breaths

Enock: ...I'm... I'm notta dumb baby...

The Boy reformed his shape form from his compact shape and stood between Enock and Patchricia

The Boy: HEY! HE'S NOTTA DUMB BABY! HE ONLY WANTED TO HAVE FUN!!

Patchricia: Well That FUN Could've killed us!!

The Boy rolled his eye at what seemed to him as hysterical complaining

The Boy: You're Just Jealous that he's Funner, cooler and Awesomer than a Uptight, Bratty, STUPID B#$%@ LIKE YOU!

All the Pals gasped, mouths agaped, Patchricia stomped her foot on the ground and pinned her crinkly ears back, her teeth gritted and snarled at him, The boy was completely unfazed with the angry bunny and continued to stare her down

Qwerty walks inbetween them

Qwerty: Cease this behavior immediately, both of you are acting in an immature manner, Patchricia, your reaction was inappropriate and resulted in Enock becoming upset, When You are aware of his sensitivity to shouting

Patchricia thumped her foot repeatedly before slowing down

Patchricia: Yeah... I guess you're right... sorry...

Patchricia rubbed her arm awkwardly, And Qwerty turned to Face The Boy

Qwerty: I understand you are new and unfamiliar with our procedures, but your behavior was inappropriate, You should not have enabled Patchricia's unprofessional conduct, Additionally, Enock has made a dangerous mistake that he has repeated multiple times and must face appropriate consequences for his-

The Boy: Im not taking rules from a Guy in a PINK TUTU!

Qwerty: My wardrobe is not my choice, Please return to the subject at-

The Boy: Enock didn't do anything wrong! He just wanted to play!! Somthing YOU are Cleary above!

The Boy shoved Qwerty and they fell to the ground

The Boy: You think You're so smart but they're an Stupid kid like the rest of us!

The Boy: You're just trying to compensate for the fact that Enock is a Gazillion times more personality than you do! I mean just because you're an NPC dosent mean you have to act like One!

The boy grabbed Enocks arm

The Boy: C'mon Ennie, we're to cool for these LOSERS

The Boy Took Enock back Inside the circus, Enock was still teary eyed

Enock: No one... no one ever stood up for me like that... Thank you...

Enock Smiled warmly at the Boy, The Boy looked puzzled at Enock's expression, But slimed regardless

The Boy: Uh.. Um.. Thanks, I guess...

The Boy: Do You... Do ya wanna hang out more?-

A Loud warping rang through the Tent, indicating that the portal reopened

Enock: Mama!!

Enock ran off to the main area of the Circus,

The Boy followed and observed the Pals greeting their parents, Hugging them, telling them about their day, he saw Caine lift Enock off the Ground and spun him around Playfully and hugged him tightly

The Boy felt a Sting run through his body as he watched the Pals with there parents, he was overcome with a feeling of bitter resentment For the other kids, Kids, Like they were even kids, they weren't kids, they weren't even people, they were nothing but machines with preprogrammed responses, they didn't have feelings or thoughts, they were nothing but AIs, and to think he made a real friend...

Enock hugged his mother tightly, savoring each second with her

Enock: Oh! Oh! Mommy! Guess what?!

Pomni: what is it Ennie?

Enock: No, You havta guess!

Pomni: You... um... You taught Bananer a new trick?

Enock: Noooooooooooo

Enock Swayed side to side, his eyes glistening with Happiness, Caine floated down to Enock's height, Hanging upside-down

Caine: Well what is it Son?

Enock: I Made a New friend today!! A real friend!! And I wanna him to you!!

Enock Grabbed his mom's arm and dragged to where The Boy was, But he was gone

Caine: Oh! Is this another one of your invisible friends!

Enock: Huh- Wuh- No, he was right here and... Um... Nevermind momma...

In The manor, Pomni was washing the dishes that was generated every evening, Enock was telling his mom about all things he did with his friend

Enock: -And than we walked through the Fishy tunnel thing, He really liked the Sharks! Especially the Big ones with Sharp teeth!

Pomni: Wow, its sounds like you had a alot fun today!

Enock: Yeah, he also says alot of funny things I don get...

Enock: Hey momma?

Pomni: Yes Enock?

Enock: Whats a NPC?

Pomni felt her body freeze

Enock: Mamma? Whats wrong?

Pomni: ...Where did you learn that word?

Enock: My Friend said it to Qwerty today, Whats wrong mommy?

Pomni: NOTHING! N-nothing is wrong! Why would anything be wrong?? Haha!! I- Uh- I need to go talk to your Father

Enock watched as his mother ran off down the halls, He could tell She was lying to him, he could always tell

END OF CHAPTER 4

[awooghan]

24 to 25 ✧.* y.ji (part two)

❄ PAIRING: jeongin x fem!reader

❄ GENRE: fluff, angst, childhood friends to lovers, christmas

❄ WARNINGS: mild language, mentions of food, long as hell, i put the ‘slow’ in slowburn (in my defense this trope does not work without it), i’ve checked like 1922847473 times for inconsistencies but if there are any pls be nice it’s my first long fic ;w; also you can slowly see the quality of my writing decline in the end im sorry 😭

❄ WORD COUNT: 47.7k (part one: 25.9k; part two: 21.8k) i'm so sorry

❄ SUMMARY: “stay for christmas?” was a phrase jeongin first uttered to you when you were both ten years old, but you had no idea how much those three little words would mean to you as the years go by. (inspired by “24 to 25” by stray kids)

❄ NOTES: IT’S FINALLY UP!! i’m so sorry for the wait, i really really wanted to get this right and it took me wayyy longer than i thought it would. but i love how it turned out and i'm so proud of it. i hope y’all enjoy :’)

i’ll include more to the note when i'm not in such a rush to get this posted but tysm to everyone who helped me in writing it! @crispy-chan jas thank you for beta reading (i’m so sorry it was so long) your comments were really sweet and really reassured me that i was doing okay <3 thank u @pearleechai and @gloseoks for helping me out with that one part i got stuck on for like a week lmaooo. to parker specifically, ty for all ur help and encouragement in the couple chapters i asked for help on :D i’m sorry it meant u had some of the fic spoiled for u tho ;w; lastly, @svtbabies hopie u have been my lifesaver from start to finish w this fic. thank u so so much for planning w me and for the multiple times u saved me from a huge writer’s block. i wouldn’t have been able to complete this without you, so ty for everything <33 also ty for the banner lol

➳ IMPORTANT!!! this fic is so long that i have to split it into two parts. i'd use the legacy editor but i can't toggle btwn the two anymore 😭 i did not intend for it to be this lengthy but anything for childhood friends to lovers i guess. PLEASE READ PART ONE FIRST.

part one | [part two]

network tags: @straykidsland

taglist: @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @crow953 @urmomma0324 @tasmtrilogy

20.

Regardless of how desperately you wanted to enjoy Christmastime like you'd usually do, you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it this year.

You had long broken up with Heeseung, and while it did hurt immensely to begin with, it still persisted as a dull ache. You’re a little bummed you couldn’t indulge in your Christmas romance fantasies this year, but you figured you’d manage. You know that wasn't everything in a relationship; it was just a bonus, especially for someone like you.

But what does feel unbearable this year had nothing to do with love or romance. All you could think about was last year and the way Jeongin had left. 

It plagued your mind for weeks after that night, on whether or not you should have stayed and spent your time with Jeongin instead of bringing Heeseung to Jisung's Christmas party. Nevertheless, you had to remind yourself that you didn't know Jeongin had planned to leave that night—and no matter how much you wanted to, you couldn't go back and change the past. 

You couldn't tell if you resented Jeongin for what he did, or if you blame yourself for not listening to him. All the times he wanted to speak to you last year—maybe even to tell you, you just cut him off, too caught up in your new romance with Heeseung to even notice what Jeongin wanted to say.

Perhaps this was what you deserved for trying to follow Jisung’s advice when you were sixteen. “Date and move on,” he said. There was nothing to move on from, but you still tried it anyway.

And look where that got you.

Your original plan had been to stay nestled up in the comforts of your bed, watching whatever trash Hallmark had put out this year as you drank an atrocious amount of hot chocolate to comfort yourself. You were tempted to avoid Christmas plans altogether, especially when all the neighborhood party would do was remind you of Jeongin..

However, Jisung, the persistent fool that he was, wouldn't let that happen. Not when you could be watching laughable Christmas movies with him and his, and now your, friends. 

Felix and Hyunjin are squished together on the loveseat in Jisung's apartment, not that Felix seemed to mind as it gave him an excuse to cuddle someone. Seungmin is positioned on the floor, his legs crossed under the coffee table as he picks away at what little snacks remained in the bowls Jisung had laid out earlier. And you were lazily stretched out across the sofa, your head in Jisung's lap. Since Jisung was the one that dragged you out of bed, he was going to have to put up with your grumpy state.

"What do we watch next?" Felix calls out as the end credits of the Elf roll across the screen. He casually scans the room for your responses, his arms wrapped loosely around Hyunjin's waist. 

"The Grinch?" Seungmin suggests before Hyunjin quickly follows up with A Charlie Brown Christmas.

You pout. All of those sound good but you’d be lying if you said you were in a particular mood for any of them. It almost crushed you to say that, as they had brought you so much joy in the past, but none of them seemed to cut it this year. 

A few seconds passes by and you decide to speak up, throwing in a suggestion of your own. 

"Are there any Christmas animes? Why don't we watch those instead of a movie?" 

A deafening silence fills the room at your suggestion. The boys exchange confused glances with each other, and you begin to wonder if you said something wrong. If there were Christmas cartoons, surely there’d be Christmas animes, right? But your thoughts are quickly cut short when you hear Jisung gasp rather loudly. 

"Oh, so NOW you want to get into anime?!" 

Your frown deepens and you hit Jisung's thigh with your fist. "Shut up, it was just a suggestion." 

Another silence hangs in the room and the other three boys watch you silently like hawks, as if they were ready to pounce on you at the next move you’d make. You hate how small you feel under their piercing stares, and you shuffle to the other side of the couch in hopes that they’d stop.

"This isn't because you miss a certain person, is it?” Jisung chirps in a teasing tone. He crawls over to your end of the couch, a grin pulling at his lips as he pokes at your cheek repeatedly. “Is that why you're all Scrooge McDuck?" 

You jerk your head away and shove his hand back, letting out a strangled groan. "Oh my god, Jeongin has nothing to do with this! and it’s Ebenezer Scrooge!" 

Jisung snorts, crossing his arms over his chest. "I never said Jeongin's name." 

"He got you there, just saying." Felix chimes in with a shrug. 

You huffed frustratedly, spluttering, "I– this– this isn't about Jeongin, and this isn't about Heeseung either. can we just move on from this already?" 

"You know it's okay to miss him, right?” Hyunjin says, his voice soft. “You’re not doing anything wrong." 

"I never said that!" you groan again, raising your voice slightly. "I can’t suggest an anime because you guys assume I miss someone? Can I not do anything without you guys thinking it’s about a boy?!”

"Well, you never even mentioned anime once until now,” Seungmin points out, “the only reason you would is because of Jeongin—”

“It’s not about Jeongin!” you snap, burying your face in your hands in defeat. “God, I hate men.”

A chorus of offended ‘hey’s echo throughout the room which causes your eyes to roll. 

"After all this time? after all these years, sugarplum?" Jisung gasps, his hand over his heart in feigned offense. 

"Oh my god, you know what's not what I mean, Jisung," you huff, grabbing your phone from the coffee table as you stand up. "I'm going to get us more snacks, I hate this." 

You carry yourself to the kitchen and from behind you, you hear Jisung call out, "But you haven't taken the bowls with you!”

Without turning back, you make a face to yourself. "I'll just get new ones," you respond blankly.

The kitchen was a break you so desperately needed. While you could still hear the boys chatting in the living room, it was just muffled enough to keep your mind at ease. you thought you could get away with Jisung not mentioning Jeongin, but maybe you had put too much faith in him. 

You didn't mean it, really, but sometimes it got to be a lot. 

You unlock your phone and staring back at you is a photo you knew you should have changed earlier, but something inside of you just couldn't bring yourself to do it. 

It was an old selfie of you and Jeongin, one you had to beg him to take in the first place a few years prior. You both had your large winter coats on and his arm hung loosely around your shoulders as you both grinned into the camera. In the picture, you had a light blush on your cheeks—presumably from the cold—but deep down you knew otherwise. 

You brought up his contact. This photo was one where he isn't looking at you, but he’s still holding up a peace sign. Just the look of it and the memory of that day flashes in your mind, making you chuckle. 

Clicking on the text conversation, you're met with the last text you had sent him months and months ago, the small seen tick making you frown. 

I miss you... you type out the words slowly. Your thumb hovered over the send key, but you can’t bring yourself to press down.

The glassy feeling in your eyes appears and you blink the tears away rapidly as you let your finger fall on the backspace key, completely erasing the message before you lock your phone once more. 

What you didn't know was in his dorm room, bundled up in blankets like a burrito was Jeongin as he hopelessly scrolled through his phone. he had stumbled across a photo of Christmas lights that reminded him of you, and it took every ounce of his being to stop himself from sending it to you, finding himself scrolling through your message history instead. How could he text you so casually after what he did? Afterjust leaving like that without so much as a proper goodbye?

He watches your typing symbol come up at the bottom, only to have it disappear moments later—leaving him just as despair-ridden as you.

21.

You lost track of how long you had been cuddling against Yeonjun’s chest as Die Hard played on the tv. You had wanted a Christmas film, an actual Christmas film, however, Yeonjun was adamant that this did, in fact, count, as it happened around Christmas day. 

You gaze up at Yeonjun, your eyes lingering on his own. You smile at how much focus he has on the movie, to the point where he’s hardly blinking. 

You originally knew Yeonjun from your neighborhood, which kind of makes things go full circle for you in a way. Him being an older kid, though, meant that you never had a reason to know him personally or even have a chance to talk to him. He stuck with his group, and you stuck with yours. 

But in a weird twist of fate, you met again when you got a part-time job at a small family restaurant just off of your university campus. After a few awkward conversations and some catching up, you both seemed to warm up to each other and Yeonjun soon asked you out on a date… you happily said yes.

Yeonjun is amazing. He's patient with you, smiles at you like you light up the whole sky, looks after you when you feel ill, he takes you on adventures at midnight for snacks just because you mentioned you were hungry. 

He’s, on paper, your dream guy. Handsome, understanding, open and caring. You like him, you really do. Yet, it always feels like something's missing—but you can never put your finger on what.

The end credits of Die Hard roll across the screen, causing you to lift your weight from off of Yeonjun and stretch your arms out around you. 

“I should get home,” you yawn, causing Yeonjun to pout slightly. 

He reaches out to grab your hand as he whines. “Do you have to?” 

You match his pout, nodding your head slowly. “Yeah, I should get back before it snows.” 

“You don’t have to,” Yeonjun muses, and you watch the corners of his mouth twitch into a hopeful smile. “You could… stay over for Christmas? What do you think?”

Your breath hitches at his words, stiffening like a board as you stare at him with wide eyes.

“Stay… over for Christmas?”

He seems to notice the hesitation in your voice, and he begins to rub gentle circles with his thumb on the back of your hand.

“Think about it,” Yeonjun continues, “waking up together on Christmas day? It would be so cute!” he grins. You could practically see the tiny hearts floating about his head. 

Stay over for Christmas. He doesn't know about it, but the whole sentence makes you feel uneasy. The implications and everything they bring with them—not to mention all the memories they invoke—are too much for you to handle at that moment. Not that you’d be the first to admit it

“I— I shouldn’t,” you start, your heart hurting as Yeonjun’s lips twist into a frown. “Baby, Soobin’s here and I don’t want to make things awkward for you by intruding.” 

Yeonjun sits up suddenly, his fingers linking with your own. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind, plus he enjoys your company. Not as much as I do, obviously,” Yeonjun cheekily grins at his words, sending a wink your way.

You huff a laugh. “Regardless,” you say with a roll of your eyes, “I... I don’t think I feel comfortable staying here yet.” Your own frown seems to match his. “So I'd rather get back before it starts snowing.” Your shoulders drop and you focus on his fingers that are busy playing with your own. “I’m sorry.” 

One of Yeonjun’s hands moves from your fingers and delicately slides against your cheek, guiding your head so you’re looking up at him. Whilst you can see hints of sadness behind his eyes, his smile is one of comfort and understanding.

“Don’t be silly.” His smile grows. “I like you and we can go as slow or quick as you want.” His hand moves from your cheek as he lightly brushes your hair out of your face. “Don’t be scared to tell me, we’ll work through it together.” 

Your heart swells at his words and you lean into his touch, placing a small kiss on his palm. “You’re too sweet to me,” you mumble. 

He disagrees. “No, it’s just the decent thing everyone should do, They're your boundaries, I’m not going to be an idiot and push them.” 

“How did I find you?” You wonder aloud. His cheeks tint red and his smile somehow grows even wider than before. 

“No, no, how did I find you?” 

Your foreheads lean against one another, and you can feel his breath ever-so-slightly tickle your skin. 

“Can you guys stop being disgusting now?” a voice huffs from behind you two.

You and Yeonjun jump apart from each other and you turn to see his roommate, Soobin, standing with a scowl plastered on his face, an empty cereal bowl in hand. 

Yeonjun grumbles to himself, muttering ‘You're just jealous,’ as he grabs your hand, guiding you past Soobin and towards his dorm room door. At the same time, you quickly call out a goodbye to Soobin and Yeonjun sighs sadly when you both stop at his door. 

He pulls you close and you can feel his body heat seeping into you. It almost, almost, makes you want to stay, as you would rather be in the warm arms of your boyfriend than face the ten-minute walk home in the cold.

“Text me when you get home?” Yeonjun asks into your shoulder and you hum in response. 

“I will." 

Before you pull away completely, Yeonjun places a light kiss onto the side of your lips, leaving you open to steal one right back. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” this time Yeonjun is the one to hum. A small smile plays at his lips. “I love you.” 

You still for a moment at his words. You should say them back—you know you should—but you just can’t. They’re on the tip of your tongue and yet you fall silent instead. You settle for stealing another kiss from him and reaffirming your words from earlier, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You can tell his smile is dripping in sadness, but you're unable to bring yourself to utter the words he so desperately wants to hear back from you. You look back and wave for a final time before you exit the hallway that leads you to the elevators and out of the building. 

When you finally make your way outside, you take a deep breath; it feels almost like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders. The pressure of staying over with Yeonjun is gone. But now in its place is another burden you’re not ready to think about. It had started creeping into the back of your mind the moment he said those words—a reminder of times gone by. Of another boy with dark hair and eyes that sparkled and those same, fateful words.

As you walk home, you shake your head, trying to push back the tears already threatening to cloud your vision. You’ve spent too long shoving down and ignoring those feelings just to ruin everything now by bringing them back up. You aren’t ready to think about it now and, as you look up at the clear, cloudless sky, you’re not sure if you ever will be.

It did not snow that winter. Not a single flake fell from the sky. 

22.

After years of not going to the neighborhood Christmas party, it feels weird to be back.

The party happens to be at Yeonjun’s family’s house this year, and once Yeonjun found this out, he jumped at the chance to introduce you to his family. You couldn’t help but smile at the hope swirling in his eyes that day as he gushed about how much they’ll love you.

But being the sweetheart that he is, he definitely noticed the doubt swimming in your eyes. He tried his best to reassure you, telling you how sweet his family is and how excited they are to finally meet you. 

That’s what wins you over, and now you’re here. The feeling of being home, or, at least, a few houses away from it, brings a warm feeling to your chest. To be able to spend it with your lovely boyfriend only deepens the feeling.

In a weird way, though, you notice bits and bits, just minor details that others seem to gloss over, that only tug at your heartstrings. From the movie playing on the flatscreen, to the gingerbread house tha’s about to be devoured by a wide-eyed seven-year-old, it brings this feeling of nostalgia that you can’t quite shake off. The more the night goes on, the more it seems to eat at you.

If you didn’t already think this was some weird full circle moment of sorts, you definitely do now.

Everywhere you look, all you seem to get is mirages of past times. Faint traces of Jeongin linger in the crevices of your mind. Even if it had been two years since you last saw him, he stuck to your memories like glue. 

You tried your best to push those memories to the side—to push the ick you felt every time something that reminded you of those moments away, even if it did send a chill down your spine. 

But Yeonjun just had to utter those words. “Want to stay over for Christmas?” 

It made you physically pause, the words processing in your mind. Ten years worth of memories surf through your mind at lightning speed. The slight word change gives you the worst feeling in your stomach you have ever felt—it was like a huge pit of emotions had opened up inside of you. 

You take a breath and exhale it slowly. “Do you mean stay for Christmas?” 

“Stay for Christmas, stay over for Christmas,” Yeonjun sighs, “same thing.” 

“It’s different,” is all you can mumble in response. 

Yeonjun groans, leaning his weight onto his hands that are placed on the counter sides. 

“One word difference.” 

You snap to face him, a stern look making an appearance on your face. Your voice dripping with irritation, you say, “But there’s still a difference.” 

You can cut the sudden tension that arises with a knife and it’s like that is exactly what Yeonjun chooses to do. He stands straight, turning to you, and you can see how tense his jaw is—like he’s been holding everything in, and how it’s now about to burst open at the seams. 

“We’ve been together for over a year and you still can’t even stay over. And when I offer to spend Christmas with you because I know it’s your favorite time of year, you fight me on it.” Yeonjun runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “Is it because I’m the one that’s asking?” 

“What?” you gasp, shaking your head. “It’s just, it’s stay for Christmas. Not stay over, not stay with, it’s stay for Christmas.”  

Yeonjun squeezes his eyes shut, hand still in his hair. All you can do is stare at him, waiting for what he says next. Once he does open his eyes, you can see the fogginess as in them, and when he speaks again, you feel like you’re being torn in two.

“But I’m not Jeongin, I can’t ask in the way he would.” 

You open your mouth to speak, shocked at his words, but nothing comes out. 

“What does Jeongin have to do with this?” You question. “I like you because you’re you, Yeonjun, not because you’re someone else.” 

You both stand there, staring at each other and you can’t help but feel like neither of your words are sinking in. Like they were falling onto deaf ears. 

“Well what about the snow?” Yeonjun suddenly asks. Had he been spending too much time with Jisung? 

“Yeonjun, baby, it’s just the weather,” you look at him with soft eyes, but all it seems to do is break him more.

With a hiccup, he tries to keep his tears at bay, “Then how come it never happens when we’re together?” 

You have to look away from him, not because you don’t care, but because if you look at him any longer, tears would spill from your own eyes. It would only just make everything harder than it already is.

Yeonjun’s sniffles fill your ears and from the corner of your eye, you can see him wipe his tears away. Even when he takes a few steps towards you and takes one of your hands in his, you’re still unable to look at him in fear of breaking. 

“I’ll walk you home,” he whispers gently. 

You gaze at the floor and nod your head, squeezing the hand that held yours. He squeezes it right back in a silent understanding. It’s like you hear both of your hearts cracking like glass in the silence, but it was unlike any type of heartbreak you had ever felt before… 

It can’t compare to the heartbreak you had with Heeseung, or even the heartbreak you felt when Jeongin left. This is its own brand of heartbreak, one that would last and one that would carve itself into your heart, a cruel reminder that will follow you for all time.

The walk back to your apartment is a quiet one. Your fingers stay linked with Yeonjun’s, and every now and then, you’d squeeze each other’s hands to remind yourself of the moment—of the feeling of your hands entwined with each other. 

When you’re outside of your door, it’s bittersweet and it’s heartbreaking. And when Yeonjun reluctantly draws his hand away from yours, you want everything to chase after it with your own. 

This is when you finally look up at him. 

His eyes are red and fresh tears have prickled up in his eyes as soon as they meet yours. As soon as you see his tears, your eyes quickly well up to match his. 

“We should,” he hiccups. “We should take some time apart.” 

You squeeze your eyes shut, sniffling away the sob that crawls up your throat. You feel Yeonjun’s light kiss on your cheek, and that sob defies you, escaping your lips. 

When Yeonjun pulls away, he speaks softly, as if speaking any louder would break him completely. “We’re on different pages and we both deserve people who aren’t.”

His lips linger on your cheek, like a silent plea begging you not to let him move away, but to pull him closer. To tell him that you both could make whatever it is you called a relationship work. 

But you don’t, and he soon pulls away, the warmth of his lips is quickly replaced with a damp, cold breeze. 

You regret opening your eyes when you do because you’re met with Yeonjun’s own tears rolling down his face. With no attempt to stop them, Yeonjun hiccups and looks away from you. 

“I’ll see you around, Y/N,” his voice strains. 

As he walks away, you open your mouth to yell out for him, but nothing comes out when you try. You just watch as he slowly disappears down the hallway, his shoulders hunched, shuddering slightly every time a quiet sob escapes him. 

You can’t tell if you’re lucky or not when you enter the apartment and realize that Jisung isn’t home. On one hand, you wouldn’t have to cry in front of him—on the other, you really don’t want to cry on your own. 

You trudge your way to your room, a numbness overtaking your body. You crave the warmth of your blankets and can’t wait to let them hold you in comfort as you cry for the rest of the night. 

When your blankets are secured around you and long after the tears have dried out, you sit there in self pity. Your phone is staring up at you, and you somehow find your way to your camera roll. An album of photos of you and Yeonjun sits right by your recents, and you’re hesitant to click on it. But you do, and the collection of photos from the past year and a half makes your heart wrench all over again.

You wish the relationship didn’t end this way as badly as he did, if not more. Yeonjun was perfect in every way—sweet, understanding, patient—yet, somehow, it still wasn’t enough to keep you two together.

“But I’m not Jeongin.” His words echo in your mind as you swipe through all of your selfies with him. He’s right: he’s not Jeongin. But that shouldn’t have mattered… right?

“I can’t ask in the way he would.”  He can’t.

Or can he?

If he had not flubbed the iconic line, not even with the slightest one-word difference… would you be where you are right now?

You let your phone drop onto the mattress as you ponder. Burrowing yourself further into your blankets, you try to imagine Yeonjun saying the line correctly this time. ‘Stay for Christmas?’ he’d chirp, hope lighting up his beautiful brown eyes. ‘Stay for Christmas?’ he’d pipe, a pure smile pulling his soft lips upward.

But it doesn’t feel right.

No matter how you try to picture it, there’s something about those words leaving Yeonjun’s mouth that makes your stomach twist. As hard of a time as you gave him about getting the phrase wrong, imagining him getting it right almost feels worse.

Maybe he can’t pull it off like Jeongin can. Maybe he was missing the awkward little beat Jeongin always carried when he uttered those three little words. Maybe he lacked the sheepish glow Jeongin always seemed to have creep up his cheeks when he said it, regardless of how coolly he tried to pull it off. Don’t forget the way he’d stupidly wiggle his eyebrows at you, and the faint little giggle that followed as he scrunched up his nose in embarrassment.

It’s a charm you truly believe only Jeongin could pull off.

But it shouldn’t have mattered that much. Jeongin wasn’t your boyfriend—Yeonjun was. And it’s not like Yeonjun didn’t have his own charm to him. His was more classic romantic, per se—always showing up at your doorstep with roses and a sweet smile, surprising you with dinner, taking you out for midnight drives while you blast both of your favorite songs. He’s a true Romeo, a type of lover that only exists in the movies.

“But I’m not Jeongin.”

You can’t stop Yeonjun’s gut-wrenching words from haunting your mind. It’s like the toll of a bell, its low tone ringing in every corner of your skull, shaking every crevice of your brain. Really, it shouldn’t bother you this much. 

For starters, Jeongin is no Romeo. You’ve witnessed him try to be one firsthand—multiple times, actually. The keyword here is ‘try’.

There really were no suave, overly romantic elements to Jeongin, like there were for guys in the movies. He doesn’t need big gestures like flower bouquets bigger than your head to show that he cares. It’s all in the details, the smaller things he did, how he knew you nearly better than you did yourself. Taking you to see the lights all those years ago meant more to you than any grand movie gesture ever could have. Ultimately, he doesn’t need anything else because he is enough as it is. It’s a thought that slowly crept in over time and you never even noticed until it hit you like a brick. He’s not picture-perfect, but that’s not who you want him to be.

He’s just… Jeongin. 

A part of you wants to admit it, but maybe, just maybe, he and stay for Christmas were what pushed your love for Christmas and the winter season more. But now that he isn’t here, that’s why it isn’t the same. 

Because is there really a Christmas without Stay for Christmas?

The longer you stare at the folder, filled to the brim with photos of you and Yeonjun over the course of your relationship, the more unbearable it becomes. Your thumb hovers over the back button, soon letting fall against the screen. 

Scrolling away as far as you could from it, another folder that instantly causes a mountain of flashbacks appears. Giggling at the joke title you named the album, you stare at it for a moment. You aren’t sure when the last time you looked at this album was. 

As soon as you click on it, you’re hit with a wave of bittersweet nostalgia so hard, it almost hurts.

It’s a compilation of photos of you and Jeongin, dating back to when your parents handed you your first smartphone. You’re able to scroll so far back that you can find photos of Jeongin in that obnoxious purple sweater. Somehow, as you look at it in that moment, it doesn’t seem as obnoxious as it used to be… 

Maybe it had grown on you, like stay for Christmas had grown on Jeongin. 

And how pictures of Christmases before (and all-year-round photos) made your heart seem to swell in a way you hadn’t felt in a while. All the lights that grazed your presence when you were with him, all the longer-than-necessary hugs you two shared in the snow, even the thoughts, the memories of it, are like little static shocks sending metaphorical butterflies swarming around you. It plays at your chest like a flute and it makes you begin to wonder… if the thought of Yeonjun or actually being around Yeonjun, or even his touch, made you feel that way.

You’d think since Yeonjun is—was—your boyfriend, you wouldn’t have to think so hard for the answer. Yet here you are, comparing everything you felt with Jeongin to how you felt with Yeonjun over the past year. 

It opens up the box of feelings you’ve tried so hard to push away. This time though, there’s no stopping it as everything bubbles up and spills over. 

You continue looking through the photos of you and Jeongin, hardly noticing when the pictures start to blur slightly, fresh tears making their way down your cheeks. You missed him, you missed him so much it makes your chest hurt. There’s no denying that anymore, not that there was ever a point to it anyway. You missed everything about him, how he knew you like the back of his own hand to how effortless things had been between you two for so long. 

A teary smile makes its way onto your face, unable to stop the overwhelming warmth that tore through you as you gaze at one photo of you two. Jeongin had an arm slung over your shoulders, braces-covered smile beaming up at you from the screen. You had a grin to match, happy and effortless, without a care in the world. 

That’s how Jeongin had always made you feel, even during times when you had disagreements or fought over stupid things. At the end of the day, you always made your way back to him. Because ultimately, nobody else could make you feel the way he could—like you were safe, like you were home.

Eventually you ran out of photos to look through, and somehow you made your way to your messages, scrolling through and rereading old texts from Jeongin. 

i miss you… you type out, take a deep breath, and hit send.

Instantly, he responds, making your heart swirl treacherously. i miss you too.

A second later, another text appears from him, making one last wave of tears pool in your eyes. stay for christmas?

The timing truly couldn’t be any worse than this, but you can’t deny the real reason behind your outburst anymore. All the seemingly-random bursts of butterflies in your stomach when you were a teenager slowly start to make sense. All the times your heart would skip a beat whenever he looked at you a certain way, the telltale sense of warmth you felt when you were even around him; heck, the entire incident at the winter formal—it all adds up. 

There’s no denying who your heart yearns for anymore. And, if given the choice, there’s no denying which dark-haired boy you would live everything with all over again. No more running away, only running back to him—if only fate would let you.

wouldn’t miss it for the world.

23.

“Why so glum, chum?”

You barely move your head from where you’re curled up on the sofa to look at your roommate as he bounces into the living room. His overly energetic skips come to a halt right behind you and he looms his head above you, letting the corners of his mouth drag into an exaggerated pout.

You let out a slow breath and stare back at him with solemn eyes. The weather had dropped to the all-too-familiar December chill, rainbow lights adorned the city—heck, you’re watching A Charlie Brown Christmas for the third time in a row—but you can’t seem to will yourself into the Christmas spirit even if you tried. The reason seems pretty obvious to you.

For better or worse, the boy tapping his fingers on the back of the couch as he waits impatiently for your answer is one you’ve known for years. Over time, he’s morphed from the awkward older kid that ‘needs to take a couple babies under [his] wing’, to a sweet (when he wants to be)—dare you say, mature (again, when he wants to be)—older brother figure of sorts. If anyone knows why you’re so somber as you wallow in candy cane wrappers and your favorite ugly Christmas sweater, it should be him. 

“You know why,” you grumble.

You think that’s enough of an answer, but Jisung bends down to get a better look at you and attempts to pry more. 

“Hmm, do I?”

Another, more irritated huff leaves your parted lips as you turn to Lucy mercilessly grilling Charlie Brown, and you make damn sure your back is to your snoopy roommate.

Why do you even need to explain yourself to him? Jisung has literally had a front-row seat to the entire story since before he knew how to part his hair properly. He watched you slowly and hopelessly fall for your best friend before his very eyes since you were sixteen. He witnessed you delude yourself into a bottomless pit of denial for years, pushing yourself down so far that not even the most picture-perfect guy could pull you out.

Your life might as well be a sappy romance anime unfolding right in front of him, and Jisung knows every minute detail, every moment of development, every tear you shed for Jeongin like the back of his hand. He could whip up a play-by-play of your history with that boy faster than he can for the plot of Your Name—and he loves that movie.

But you guess as the older brother figure, it also means he has to annoy the living hell out of you for it. Not that he didn’t in the first place, but usually he’d, you know, comfort you when you’re upset. 

Waddling around the couch to plop next to you, with overdramatized puppy eyes boring into your soul, is not that comforting.

“Come onnn, Y/N,” Jisung sing-songs, poking at your cheek. “Talk to me.”

Your frown etches further downward. You don’t do anything to move his hand, though, and opt to just turn your head back to the Peanuts characters.

“Cheer up, sugarplum.” Jisung now squishes your cheeks in one hand like a doting mother. It earns a whine from you, and you finally slap his hand away.

“Jisung.” You sigh, keeping your eyes on the TV. “I’m really, really not in the mood for celebrating Christmas this year.”

It makes your heart ache to actually admit it out loud, but you’d be lying if you tried to say otherwise. Christmas will always be your favorite time of the year, but all the memories you carry with it hurt too much now. It’s all a gaping hole in your stomach that you can’t patch.

“I know, I know,” Jisung says simply, but a heart-shaped smile slowly forms as he speaks. You blink as you stare blankly at him—you don’t like that sparkle in his eye. 

That suspicious grin only widens as he utters his next words.

“That’s why we’re hosting a Christmas party next week.” 

Your heart stops for a second, and you stare at Jisung with wide eyes.

“We?!” 

You’re sure Jisung senses the aggravation in your voice. You already, and very blatantly, you may add, have made it clear that all you want for Christmas this year is to wallow in your blanket burrito and watch whatever cheesy film Hallmark was putting out. 

But of course, Jisung won’t let that happen. You know he means well, but you still wonder for a second why you agreed to move in with him once he graduated and came back home from college.

“You know this is my apartment, too, right?” you add. 

“I know, but just trust me!” He beams, and it only makes you scowl more. “Oh, wait…”

His phone flashes on, a notification popping up on his lockscreen, and whatever it is seems to elate his already excessively cheerful mood. You peer over his shoulder with curious eyes as his thumbs fly across the keyboard, but Jisung places a palm to your forehead and pushes your head away before you can get a glimpse.

“Nuh uh, that’s private!” He tuts, and you frown at him again. As he slides his phone back in his pocket, the cheesy smile returns to his face. Once again, you’re not a fan.

“I need you to trust me, okay?” he says. “It’ll be fun! It’s just gonna be you, me, and our closest friends. Promise.”

You’re still not super on board with the idea. Even a small hangout seems too much for you right now, and you can practically feel the flashbacks from the last few years haunting your mind as you think.

“I… I don’t know, Jisung.”

“If I give you hot chocolate right now, would that influence your decision?”

You watch as Jisung turns around, whipping out two to-go cups from right next to him. A small smile makes its way to your face as he hands you one.

“I’ll think about it,” you mumble, taking a sip of the warm drink.

The gesture is surprisingly enough to make you say ‘yes’ a few harrowing (for Jisung) hours later, and that’s how you find yourself at your and Jisung’s “Christmas Eve Eve Spectacular”. Why Christmas Eve Eve? Who knows, but you did hear Jisung mumble something about being able to go to your neighborhood party in peace. Weird, especially when he seems to know that it’s on Christmas Eve this year. 

Regardless, you think you did a good job of decorating the apartment for the occasion. Besides the small Christmas tree in the living room themed red and gold, you and Jisung had wrapped matching garlands above the curtains and hung wreaths on your bedroom doors. Your couch was adorned with throw pillows you had gotten on sale a week ago, and, because you didn’t have a fireplace, you opted to hang the stockings right above the TV instead. It’s very homey, yet screams young and broke at the same time.

The entertainment is even better. Something about Frosty The Snowman playing on the TV while a bunch of grown men yell at each other playing Twister just feels very college Friendsmas-esque to you. The best part? You’re in charge of the spinner. You can get your daily dose of Christmas cartoons without being trapped under a bunch of loud, sweaty guys.

“You’re cheating!” Hyunjin accuses Felix, slapping his hand from the yellow dot.

“It’s not my fault you don’t know what yellow means!” Felix yells back. He slams his hip into Hyunjin’s side and makes him topple over.

The taller boy gasps dramatically, pointing at Felix as he lies on the floor. “Now you really cheated, asshole!”

You snicker and shake your head at the boys’ shenanigans. You’ve nearly forgotten about the sour mood you were in just days ago; maybe giving in to Jisung’s incessant begging was the right decision.

Speaking of Jisung, he doesn’t seem too into the Twister game, and he’s usually one of the most competitive of the bunch. He was the first one out this round, claiming he “accidentally stumbled” on Seungmin’s hand as he “reached for the wrong dot”very early in the game. Weird.

From the corner of your eye, you can see him fervently checking his phone instead of watching the game, and sometimes, you’d catch a smug smile painting his face briefly before he quickly snaps back to a neutral facade. You’re tempted to snatch the boy’s phone from his hands and read whatever the hell is making him smirk so much.

After a moment, you focus back on the game. Seungmin and Felix are the only two left. Both are at the brink of collapsing, their entangled arms wobbling under them, and you’re placing bets with Hyunjin on who will fall first.

Felix’s arms give out first, after attempting to contort around himself and Seungmin as he stretches for a red dot. He groans out in pain, and you unceremoniously shove five dollars into Hyunjin’s hands as he revels in his victory.

“Thanks for the early present, Y/N,” he says, smiling cheesily.

You make a face akin to a grimace and roll your eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”

“I want a rematch!” Felix’s voice audibly cracks as he whines, lying in a starfish position on the floor. 

“Why did you try to go under and not over me?!” Seungmin remarks with an incredulous stare.

Hyunjin snickers. “That’s what she said.”

You smack him on the chest as the other boys groan. “Oh shut up, Hyunjin!” You hiss, shaking your head at the very mature joke. “We can do a rematch, though, but it’s up to you two,” you add, pointing two fingers at Felix and Seungmin.

Before you bend down to fix the bunched-up Twister mat, you turn to Hyunjin one more time. “And no more dirty jokes!”

The doorbell rings through the small apartment, making a look of puzzlement cross your face. You know you aren’t expecting anyone besides the boys that are already here, so you look to Jisung to see if he is. 

“Did you order takeout, Ji?”

Jisung shakes his head at you, but a small smile graces his lips. “Nope.”

You blink. “…Did you order a package?”

He chuckles lightly. “One could say that.”

The growing gleam in his eye makes you furrow your brow more. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

His small smile morphs into a Cheshire-like grin.

“Why don’t you get the door and find out?”

You stare at him with a twisted face as you slowly get up. You really, really don’t like that sparkle in his eye.

Your stomach jumps with uneasiness as you make your way to the door. Part of it was due to Jisung’s odd phrasing, but regardless, you’re almost terrified to find out what lies on the other side. You just cross your fingers and hope it’s a terrible gift at best that you can pretend to like.

Your hand shakes as you slowly twist the top lock open, then the bottom. Then you pull the door open, and you feel your heart rattle in your chest at the sight.

“…Jeongin?”

You feel like you’re dreaming as you stare at the boy in front of you. Jeongin has a comfy, dark purple sweater over a white hoodie—an actually decent shade of purple that’s pleasing to the eye. He runs a hand through his messy black hair as he smiles at you, letting out a deep but nervous chuckle when he realizes he’s just fluffed his hair up more. He’s grown it out since you last saw him, and his bangs perfectly frame his face, some strands falling in front of his eyes.

You feel the breath sucked out of your lungs. Not because he looks good (but you’re not denying that), or because you pick up a hint of sandalwood and amber lingering from him that nearly makes you dizzy—but because you feel all the memories from over the years flood in all at once. First come the good memories, and there’s tons of them. The several times you played hooky with him, the night he took you to see the glittering lights… the day you first met. It all brings a warm feeling to your chest, sending your heart fluttering as a light blush coats your cheeks.

But right after the good, you’re brought back down to earth with the bad. You’re fortunate that the bad is so little compared to the good, but the night before he left for college so suddenly is one you just can’t erase, no matter how hard you try. Memories of concerned glances and the surging feelings of regret and heartbreak make themselves known once again. Every moment of longing and the mixed feelings of wanting to reconnect with him, to be by his side again, causes your insides to twist in uncomfortable ways.

You can’t tell if you want to yell at him after leaving and not telling you himself, or if you want to run into his arms and never let him go.

Say something, Y/N, your mind screams at you as you remain frozen in place. But what are you supposed to say to someone so dear to your heart, that also happens to be the reason it’s ached for all these years?

You draw in another breath, and you stammer out the first thing that comes to mind.

“H-Hi.”

You mentally slap yourself. That’s all you have to say? You have been yearning for this moment for three years, and all you can come up with is ‘hi’?

Luckily, Jeongin seems to reciprocate, mumbling a “hey” back with an awkward wave, but you still want to kick yourself for your pitiful attempt at a greeting.

You turn around to see Jisung visibly deflate at the interaction. It’s clear now that he’s had this surprise planned for a while, and all his offhand murmurs from the past week about ‘getting the band back together’ are starting to make much more sense. 

He blinks, and in a moment’s notice, his frown is gone and he sweeps in to save the moment.

“Jeongin, come here, my honey sweet!”

You chuckle fondly as Jisung smothers Jeongin with bone-crushing hugs and excessive hair ruffles. It’s just like when you were all awkward tweens and teenagers in the school hallways, except Jisung wasn’t randomly popping up behind you two, and you were all considerably shorter. You forgot how much you missed that.

“We’re about to play another round of Twister,” Jisung chirps after a minute, his arms still securely around the younger. “But I think Hyunjin, Felix, and Seungmin all want to go against each other, so you can go next round.”

Hyunjin cocks a brow. “No, they just said everyone can joi—”

“No they didn’t, Hyunjin,” Jisung bites back through gritted teeth, and sends the blond a look that makes him cower back to the living room. 

Once Hyunjin leaves the room, Jisung turns to a confused Jeongin. “Y/N’s spinning. You can keep her company, maybe catch up a bit while you’re at it?” he suggests.

Jeongin smiles lightly, but he’s shoved into the living room with you in tow before he can verbally respond.

You’re both unceremoniously pushed into your tacky Christmas pillows, and Jisung hands you the spinner. He even does the first spin for you, and sends you a wink as he moves to sit by the window.

You just blink, waiting for the arrow to come to a full stop. “Seungmin, left foot on blue,” you call when it does.

As Seungmin is stepping onto the end blue circle, you spin the spinner again, nibbling on your lip anxiously as you feel Jeongin’s body heat radiating onto you. It makes you want to squirm, and you try your best to keep your eyes on the spinner. 

“Felix, left hand, red.” 

Felix mumbles to himself, but you’re not sure what as you’re not really listening. Once he settles on a dot, you flick the spinner again. 

Jeongin clears his throat and fiddles with his fingers in his lap. “How have you been?” He attempts—keyword: attempts—to ask casually. 

You’re so focused on watching the spinner, all you do is hum in response. When the spinner slows and stops, you clear your own throat. “Jisung, right foot, green,” you call out, “and… alright,” you mumble afterward. “I’ve been alright, you?”

He watches you as you flick the plastic arrow again. “I’ve… I’ve been okay…”He trails off like he wants to say more, but he remains quiet. 

“Hyunjin, left hand, yellow.” 

You’re not sure how long you guys sit there silently for, but your insides feel like they’re trying to claw their way out of you. Maybe ten minutes of silence feels like ten hours, and you desperately pray for the game to end so you could do literally anything else.

If only your thirteen-year-old self could see you now. Maybe you were too dramatic that Christmas, because you are sure this just took the throne as The Most Awkward Conversation Of Your Life™. 

Out of nowhere, a loud gasp booms over Michael Bublé’s “Have A Holly Jolly Christmas”, the boys’ shouting, and whatever cartoon autoplayed after Frosty ended. Everyone’s heads snap to Jisung, who stares with sparkly eyes at the world outside.

You lean past Jeongin to get a glance. Light gray skies, slow-floating crystals, fluffy white blanket… it makes you break out into a grin. So does Jeongin, who smiles fondly as he pats your knee. The move makes you want to do backflips.

“Oh my god, snow!” Jisung cheers, already scurrying for the door. He mutters something about it being ‘just what he needed’ as he zips past you and Jeongin, but quickly turns on his heel when he sees neither of you move a muscle.

“Um, hello?!” the older boy chastises you and Jeongin, tossing you your coats and hitting you both in the face. “It’s the first snow of winter, what are you doing?!” He claps his hands for emphasis, but not before he shoves a pair of mittens into both your hands. “You need. To see. The snow.”

You exchange a knowing look with Jeongin but follow Jisung’s hasty instructions. Neither of you seem to move as fast as he wants you to be, so he does the job for you by hurriedly, but carefully, pushing you both down the stairs and to the lobby.

Jeongin presses his lips into a thin line, stepping closer to you as Jisung dashes back up the stairs to get the rest of the group. You smile back politely, but say nothing else. 

You turn back to the stairs at the sound of Jisung’s voice bouncing off the walls. Whether he knows you two could hear him or not, you don’t think he cares, considering that he’s already yelling at the top of his lungs.

“SEE!” He motions around himself widely. “I TOLD YOU IT’D SNOW WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER!” A dopey smile covers his face as he holds his hands up to his chest, like he himself had just miraculously fallen in love. “It’s like magic!” 

Judging from a quick glance behind you as you make your way toward the front doors, Hyunjin seems to fully indulge in Jisung’s antics, smiling brightly and hopping up and down as they bound down the stairs. Felix and Seungmin, who trail behind them, don’t seem nearly as amused.

“Jisung, bro,” Seungmin blinks, “It’s literally just the weather.” 

Jisung’s smile drops instantly and he glares at the brunet boy, pointing a finger at him. “No! You had to be there for everything, trust me! I’M NOT CRAZY, WATCH!” 

The listless look doesn’t drop from Seungmin’s face as he follows his overly chipper friend downstairs.

Jeongin snorts, lightly bumping his shoulder into your own. “He’s still on that?” 

You open the front door for the both of you, rolling your eyes. “He never stopped, seriously.” 

The cold air hits you instantly and you’re glad Jisung gave you your gloves to wear. You scan the area around you and the only other people in sight are a group of children across the street. The ever-growing white blanket in front of your apartment complex is all yours and Jeongin’s—anything’s free game.

Unfortunately, the delicate, white crystals fluttering down around you do nothing to help the tension looming between you both. It followed you out of your apartment like a dark storm cloud, and now it’s raining on your snowy parade. You hate it. But you don’t know how to get rid of it.

“Sooo…” you start, and just as quickly trail off. “What now?”

Jeongin just shrugs, watching a snowflake fall to the ground. 

You sigh, mostly to yourself. Looks like you’re going to have to take the lead. You begin to roll up a ball of snow, making it bigger and bigger in hopes of building a snowman.

The bigger and more round your snowman base gets, the more that the little rain cloud between you and Jeongin seems to shrink away. Even though you haven’t said a word to the boy and nearly forgotten he was even there, something about playing in the snow together in silence is… healing. It’s therapeutic in its own right, the soft crystals somehow bringing a feeling of warmth to your chest as you bring out your inner child.

Just as you’re finished with the top body part and you’re lifting it up ready to place, a sudden impact of cold, wet snow hits the back of your neck and begins to slither down your back. This results in you dropping the snowman’s body and you gasp as it breaks apart into heaps on the floor. 

Turning around, you pout as Jeongin looks at you with a cheeky smile playing at his lips. He looks away, whistling innocently and shoving his hands into his coat pockets. Your glare hardens and you quickly pick up the precious bit of used snow, squishing it into a ball before lobbing it in Jeongin’s direction, just barely missing his left arm. 

“You need to work on your aim,” Jeongin remarks cockily, and you scrabble another snowball in your hands. 

Throwing the haphazardly-made snowball in his direction, his laughter fills your ears and makes the butterflies in your stomach fly. You duck as his own snowball is about to hit you, and it just skims the back of your head. 

“This is war!” You glare at your best friend. “You made me mess up my snowman!” 

“Why focus on your snowman when you can focus on me?” Jeongin laughs, making your heart speed up again. 

You hide behind the pitiful remains of your snowman and hold your hands to your cheeks. Sure, you were in a war, but you couldn’t let him see that his words affected you. You could have blamed it on the cold, but would Jeongin really believe it?

“You can’t hide forever,” Jeongin sings, his voice getting nearer and nearer. 

Keeping a watchful eye over your shoulder, you attempt to make a bunch of snowballs as you try to will the color on your cheeks away. You try to calm your breathing, suppressing any giggles that threaten to come out as you grow your small pile of ammo.

As you scramble to prepare for whenever Jeongin plans to pelt you with snowballs, all your worries seem to melt away. Adrenaline rushes through your body as you hear Jeongin’s boots crunch in the snow, but you also feel a wave of calm wash over you. It’s just you, Jeongin, and the white blanket of snow surrounding you two. Just like when you were little.

You missed this.

A small giggle escapes your lips as you peer over your shoulder one more time. Jeongin doesn’t seem to be sneaking up on you—in fact, he’s nowhere in sight. You turn around and let out a sigh of relief. You’re safe.

Until you notice Jeongin towering over you, smirking deviously.

“Did you miss me?”

You let out a squeal, backing yourself against your crumbling snowman as you frantically chuck snowballs his way. He seems to be unfazed by it, only chuckling as the snowballs split into pieces as they hit his chest, and he steps closer to you. 

Soon, you’re resorting to flinging pathetic scoops of snow at him as you try to scoot back. You’re in a fit of giggles as he inches closer, your heartbeat quickening his pace as you chuck one more blob of snow to hopefully deter him. 

It strikes him square in the face.

Your jaw drops in surprise, and you can only watch as Jeongin wordlessly wipes the snow off his face. You search his face for any sign of hurt, fearing you might’ve gone too far, but you only find a mischievous glint in his eye.

Oh no.

You gulp as he drops to his knees and continues to close the gap between you, his smug smile growing wider. A nervous giggle escapes your lips as you watch for his next move, and you grab another handful of snow in your mitt to get ready to fight back—then you feel his fingers at your sides.

“Jeongin, stopppp~!” 

You’re unable to control your laughter as Jeongin mercilessly tickles you. Any attempts at pushing him away are quickly proved fruitless by a shove of his hand, and you’re left thrashing around helplessly as he continues to torture you. 

You’ve practically been thrown into the pillow of former-snowman behind you by the time Jeongin sits back and lets you go. Gasping for air, you let out another giggle as you watch him bend over, hands on the snow by either of your sides as he catches his breath as well.

The air around you falls silent as you stare up at him. You search his face again, your chest heaving up and down. You can’t find any more signs of incoming mischief, but you find his soft gaze staring back at you, and the rosy color pricking at his cheeks. You assume his blush is from the cold, but you know yours is from otherwise.

Another few seconds pass and Jeongin still hasn’t tormented you. A smirk slowly spreads across your face as an idea sparks on your mind. 

Before you can even think it through, you spring up, arms outstretched as you pounce in his direction. He has no time to react before you tackle him, fingers going to his sides as you tickle him and get your sweet revenge. 

“You asshole!” You shriek in between giggles.

It’s now Jeongin’s turn to try to shove your hands away as he scoots back, an endless stream of giggles escaping his mouth as well. Hearing his laughter ring in your ears makes you laugh more in turn as you shuffle after him. You both grapple around for a moment and eventually land on the ground, you on top of Jeongin, your legs all tangled together.

You tickle him for another second when you look up and pause. It’s then that you realize just how close your faces are to each other, and suddenly, you forget how to breathe. Everything goes still for a moment as you stare at him with wide eyes. One more movement and you’d be kissing him.

You pray that Jeongin doesn’t feel your heart hammering against your ribcage as you’re pressed up against him, but you can’t help but wonder if his heart is doing backflips in his own chest.

Unable to take the thoughts swirling inside your head anymore, you roll off of him and onto your back, looking up at the sky. Tiny snowflakes fall around you in a light, gentle flow, but a steady one—it almost feels reassuring. It’s like the universe is sending you a message, in its own special way, that everything will be alright. 

You take a deep breath and look over at the boy next to you. His eyelashes flutter against his cheeks as he blinks, wide eyes gazing up at the snow. A couple snowflakes seem to fall on his face and he scrunches up his nose as he giggles. A fond smile decorates your lips as you watch him, and you feel your heart quicken its pace once again.

Another moment passes and Jeongin turns his head to you. “What's wrong?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed slightly. 

You shake your head and start moving to stand up. “It’s nothing, just…” you trail off, unsure what to say next. You hold out a hand to help him to his feet as well. 

The two of you stand in silence for some time. You take a small step closer to him, and you can’t deny the way your heart swells in your chest as you take in the scene around you. The snow seems to dance around you two, swirling around gently as if the crystals are casting a gentle spotlight on you both. When your eyes land back on Jeongin, you note the snowflakes that dot his chestnut hair and perfectly complement his slightly messy curls. It’s adorably awkward, but he looks cozy, like… almost like home.

He turns his head to look at you and gives you a smile that sends warmth spreading through your whole body. There’s a gentleness to his gaze as his eyes meet yours, and the way he reaches over to move a strand of hair away from your face nearly makes you melt. A faint blush dusts his cheeks as he steps closer to you, closing the distance between you two, and you hope he doesn’t notice your already rosy cheeks glow a deeper red.

“Stay for Christmas?” he whispers.

There’s no helping the grin that grows on your face at the familiar words. 

“Just come here.”

You can hear the squeals of the children across the street (and Jisung from behind you), but you feel at peace as you lean up to wrap your arms around Jeongin’s neck. A small chuckle reverberates through you as you feel him snugly hug you back, and you tuck your head in his shoulder.

You still don’t believe the snow is the seasonal deity that Jisung swears by, but something about the way it gently cascades down feels like it’s wrapping you both in a warm blanket and reassuring you that you’re okay. That you’re home. As Jeongin gently rests his head against yours and sways the two of you back and forth, you realize that this was what you were missing the whole time; not only in your old neighborhood, but during the time Jeongin was away.

Turns out the magic you always felt during this time of year wasn’t just in the snow. It wasn’t just in the whimsicality of Christmas cartoons, or your utter fascination with the holiday lights, either. It’s the feeling of comfort that comes with it, the feeling of knowing that someone who cares about you will be there to do it all with you a thousand times over. That special feeling that only Jeongin has been able to give to you all these years, even if it’s awkward at times, even if you’ve consumed one too many cups of hot chocolate for his liking… the feeling of being home.

You realize that Jeongin is more than just your best friend and your longtime crush—he’s home. And if it takes a bit of snow to realize that, that’s magic enough for you.

24...

Christmas has changed a lot since the previous year with you and Jeongin officially being back at best friend status—not that he had ever left. But just knowing he’s finally home is enough to rekindle your affinity for the holidays that you’ve been lacking for the past few years. Now it’s finally here, and the fire inside you is burning brighter than ever. 

With it being a newfound tradition in the Y/Nsung household—funny enough, you actually coined the name—your apartment this year is once again the main headquarters for all things Christmas festivities. And this time, it’s on Christmas Eve. You thought it’d be fitting, considering your shared history with Jeongin over the date. Like last year, you took care to decorate the apartment to a T, pretty garlands and shades of red and green glistening all over the living area.

The party had very much been a success, with only a few disagreements (read: screaming matches) between Hyunjin and Felix about who was actually better at the chosen game, and who was, in fact, cheating. You suspected both of them cheated at some point, but decided staying silent was probably the better option. 

And after a hearty meal of Chinese take-out from the 24/7 open restaurant, the three boys, minus Jeongin, called it a night and headed out for the comforts of their warm beds. You could still hear Hyunjin and Felix arguing as they left, with a sulking Seungmin behind them, grumbling something about having to listen to them all the way back to their hotel. 

You close the door behind them and turn to your best friend. He’s standing rather close to you, making your heart speed up slightly. The small smile that covers his face leaves you feeling comforted, loved.

It’s crazy how much can happen in a year. The awkwardness you feared would persist after being apart for three years had melted away after Jeongin (and Jisung) surprised you with his return, after that impromptu snowball fight that set your heart alight. You two spent the following few days doing some much-need catching up, and now, you’re closer than ever. It was like he never left home. Or, rather, like you were finally home.

“I thought you would have gone with them,” you mention, your own smile playing at your lips. 

Jeongin shrugs, opening his arms out wide, indicating his need for a hug. “Just wanted to spend more time with you.” You giggle, shuffling into his arms. “Without all of the yelling,” he finishes his sentence as a mumble. 

“Yeah,” you sigh into his chest. “This is much nicer.” 

Maybe it’s weird to say that you feel something in the air shift. Or maybe it was the way Jeongin subtly changed his grip on you, but something seems different all of a sudden. 

“Are you okay?” Your voice comes out softer than you expected, but when Jeongin holds you tighter and just sighs, your suspicions become elevated. 

He lets his arms fall from you and he slips one hand into your own, leading you back into your living room. An uncomfortable silence sifts between you two.

“Jeonginnie?” you finally say after another moment.

“I need to talk to you about something.” He frowns, pulling you down so you’re sitting next to him. “It’s serious.” 

A frown of your own instantly takes its place on your face. Jeongin sits there, his gaze on your one hand in his lap, and he plays with your fingers in hopes of calming himself down. 

“And I need to tell you because I don’t want what happened before to repeat itself.” Jeongin explains. “I don’t want to go however many years to go by again because I didn’t tell you myself.” He continues, now looking at you. 

Eyebrows furrowed, you gaze at him. “Jeongin, what’s going on?” 

“I… I got a job offer…”

You’re about to open your mouth and congratulate him, then he finishes his sentence, finally looking you in the eye.

“…but it’s two cities away.” 

If Jeongin listened carefully enough, he could’ve heard your heart crack in your chest.

“Oh…” 

He nods his head solemnly. “My parents are flying out with me tomorrow night to go check out apartments.” His gaze falls back to your hand that’s on his lap, and his voice grows softer as he continues to explain. “We’ll be back by New Year’s, but… once we settle on a place and sign the lease…” 

“…You’ll be leaving again,” you quietly finish his sentence, your voice wavering at the end. He nods once more. 

It’s like you were nineteen all over again, but this time, you had Jeongin in front of you—almost softening the blow. All the emotions you felt after he had left the first rush back to the surface all at once, and you nearly feel like you’re drowning. 

But you stuff it all down. You shove it back in the crackling dam that is your heart, at least for the moment. You can let out your frustration with the world when Jeongin goes home. Not now.

Be strong, Y/N. 

“We can still text,” you begin, your voice filled with hope—at least, you pray that’s what comes across. “And call and FaceTime.” 

The sides of Jeongin’s lips turn up into a small smile. Slowly, he moves his hand so it’s wrapped in yours, entwining your fingers together and giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“We will.” He looks up at you again. “I just wanted to be the one to tell you this time.” 

You squeeze his hand back. Your heart races. “I appreciate that.” 

A thick, heavy silence spreads across the room. You’re too focused on gazing into Jeongin’s eyes to care about the world outside of your little bubble with him. But your heart cries out, not wanting the moment to end. Not when this could be the last night you see Jeongin for a while.

You want to hold his hand and hold him in your arms and never let him go. But you know you can’t do that. Not when this job could be a big deal for him, not when it could change his whole life. 

So you let the warmth from his hand seep into yours. You let your head fall onto his shoulder. You let the butterflies fly in all directions at the sight, and feeling, of his sweet gaze on you. The one you’ll miss so dearly when he’s gone.

The one you’ll cherish for as long as you can.

“YAHOOOO!!”

A loud yell echoes throughout the apartment, causing your stares to break and Jeongin to drop your hand. With the yell coming from the only other known person in the apartment, you silently think of the ways you’d hurt Jisung in his sleep tonight for ruining the moment.

Soon, a trail of slamming doors and footsteps are heard, growing in frequency and volume as they get closer and closer to the living room. Then the living room door swings open and slams against the wall, Jisung’s hand stopping it from bouncing back and hitting him in the face whilst he prances into the room with the largest gummy smile you've ever seen. His cheeks are all pink and he looks like he could burst into happy tears at any moment.

“Guess what, my babies!” he sings, maybe a little too lively, “Looks like your guardian angel came to the rescue, Jeongin’s not leaving tomorrow!”

Blinking, you sit there, your lips twisting into a confused grimace as he dramatically wipes the corners of his eyes with his sleeve. You want to wholeheartedly believe your fanatical roommate. You wish so desperately for this to just be some bad dream you’re about to wake up from. But the way your heart continues to squeeze in your chest, even as Jisung skipped into the room so cheerfully, tells you all of this is real. The idea that a last-minute Christmas miracle is about to turn things around sounds too good to be true.

You’re about to interject and beg Jisung to explain, but he beats you to it, sensing the skepticism on your and Jeongin’s faces. “Look outside!” He feverishly points to the window. “You’ll see what I mean!”

Lifting your head off Jeongin’s shoulder, you exchange confused looks with the younger boy as you both get on your feet. He leads the way to the window by your front door, blindly reaching behind him for your hand and connecting your fingers when he finds it. You notice Jisung wiggling his eyebrows at you and almost let go to make him stop, but Jeongin lightly squeezes your hand before your fingers can slip away. 

Heat rises to your cheeks as you push the blinds to the side, and you hope Jeongin doesn’t glance your way and notice. Luckily, he’s too occupied with gaping at the scene outside. And so are you.

It is, in fact, snowing—and it’s snowing hard. Wind howls against your thin apartment walls as the icy flakes come pouring down, a thick, white fog blurring your view of the street below you. 

“Wow…” you mumble to yourself. In the fifteen or so years since you’ve moved, you’ve never witnessed a snowfall this hard. Let alone on the first snow of winter.

“It’s snowing like this all over the country,” Jisung remarks, showing the two of you the weather report on his phone. Jeongin scrolls through the list with one finger and, to his horror, the city where his new job is located is there. 

“You know what that means?” Jisung continues, a small smirk on his face. “No leaving, at least for a few days.”

You keep your gaze out the window, your spirits brightening at the news. As selfish as it was, you could barely control the surge of happiness bursting inside you at the thought of having Jeongin around for a little while longer. 

Maybe a Christmas miracle is possible.

You completely miss Jeongin’s loved-up stare as you look back at him, a concerned frown on your face. “What about your flight tomorrow?”

He shrugs, rubbing his thumb in circles on the back of your hand. “I’ll figure something out,” he mumbles.

He steps closer to you, and you swear you see sparkles in his eyes as he gazes into your own. You forget Jisung is there as the taller boy leans down until your noses are nearly touching. A small smile grazes his features as he whispers, a gentle but playful timbre to his voice:

“Stay for Christmas?” 

“I– um– uh–” you sputter at the sudden close contact, your eyes widening in surprise. You take a second to breathe and recompose yourself before you try again, sheepishly gesturing to the window, “I don’t think you have a choice.” 

You carefully watch Jeongin for his reaction. He seems to lean forward, inching his face even closer to yours, and you feel your breath get caught in your throat. 

The boy squeezes your hand and leans his forehead against yours, a shameless grin on his face as he flashes you a wink.

“Fine by me.”

You pray that he can’t hear your heart pounding in your chest, or that he doesn’t mention how red your cheeks are. You note the pink tint dusting his cheeks as he steps back, in case he decides to tease you for the latter. Despite your embarrassment, the shy giggle that slips out his mouth still makes you smile.

Jisung suddenly breaks the moment with a dreamy sigh, a hand flying over his heart. “And it’s all thanks to snow!” 

You roll your eyes dismissively. “How much longer are you going to keep on about this magic snow?” you ask, causing Jisung to snort. 

“As long as I want, Miss Tuxedo Effect.” 

You can practically hear the shit-eating grin on Jisung's face. You drop Jeongin’s hand as you snap your head to the older boy, throwing a scowl his way.

“‘Miss Tuxedo Effect?’” Jeongin questions, an eyebrow raised as he looks between the two of you. 

If your cheeks weren’t already as red as a tomato, they surely are now. “Don’t ask,” you grumble, swiftly heading to the kitchen to try and evade his prying. To your disdain, he follows you like a lost puppy.

“What’s he talking about?” he asks again. When Jisung, who’s treading behind you two in amusement, goes to open his mouth, you glare him into silence.

“It’s nothing.”

That seems to shut your overly curious best friend up long enough for you to pour yourself a glass of milk. The less Jeongin knew about the tuxedo effect incident, the better. You don’t need two boys torturing you about it, especially when the first one still refuses to let it go after eight years.

You watch him in silence as your drink heats up in the microwave, his eyebrows knitted together as he tries to search your and Jisung’s faces for answers. You maintain a poker face, but of course Jisung revels in Jeongin’s nosiness.

“Jeongin, think about it,” he hums, casually taking a bite of one of Felix’s cookies. You resist the urge to slap it out of his hand.

“Don’t,” you glower at him.

“How many times has she seen guys in tuxedos?” Jisung continues, his cheeks casually puffed up with food.

“Depends,” Jeongin looks to his friend and shuffles closer to you, “are we counting movies?”

Jisung snorts, nearly spitting out a chunk of chewed-up cookie. “Don’t include movies!” He covers his mouth with one hand as he gulps the bite down. “You’ll never narrow it down if you do!”

Your jaw drops in offense as the boys fill the kitchen with giggles. “Hey!”

An embarrassed flush creeps onto your cheeks again and you turn to pull your mug out of the microwave. You take a sip of the warm milk as you stew quietly, waiting for their laughs to die down. 

“Okay, okay, seriously,” Jisung pipes up after a moment, stifling another giggle. “If you just look at high school…” he glances at you, his mouth quivering into a teasing grin, “she’s only seen guys in tuxedos, like, three times.”

“It was more than three!” You exclaim defensively, placing your mug down before you list off… every single time you’ve seen a boy in a suit.

You can’t believe you’re having this conversation.

“There was junior prom,” you hold up a finger, “senior prom,” you hold up another finger. You hesitate, then add, “the one time I went to homecoming—”

“Hey, that homecoming one doesn’t count!” Jisung protests. “You volunteered for extra credit!”

You groan and throw your hands up in defeat. Okay, maybe it was only three times, but you’d rather do anything else than admit it..

“Then what else is there?!”

Jisung shoots you a challenging look, eyebrows raised as one corner of his mouth threatens to twitch into a smirk. Your exasperated look immediately drops. You know, Jisung knows… and a quick glance at Jeongin tells you he just figured it out.

“Don’t tell me it was the formal?” The taller boy watches you with wide eyes.

“Jeongin!” you whine.

He gasps, a hand slapping over his mouth as he leaps over to smother you. 

“It was!”

His name escapes you once again as you use his shoulder as a way to try and shield yourself from the embarrassment—and him seeing the bright red tint currently burning your cheeks. 

“You thought I was cute when I wore that oversized suit?” he chuckles, letting his arms go around you.

“Shit up,” you continue to whine. 

Jeongin’s deep chuckle basically vibrates through you, it makes the butterflies in your stomach scatter. Your ear tingles when you feel his hot breath brush against it.

“If it's any consolation, you looked really good, too.” 

You smack his chest and turn your head away from him in hopes of him not seeing your blush. It fails miserably. 

“Oh my god, you’re blushing so hard,” Jeongin coos, using his free hand to try and get you to face him again. “Look how cute,” he hums.

With his fingers on your chin, you shut your eyes tightly. There was no way you could look him in the eye and have a rational thought. Not now, not when he was being so open and—dare you say it—flirty with you. 

“You’re so annoying,” you mumble, your eyes still closed. 

On the contrary, you don’t know how much more your heart can take. You don’t even have to open your eyes to know Jeongin is still smirking his ass off. 

“You don’t mean that, right, Miss Tuxedo Effect?” 

Your eyes snap open, your jaw tightening in an attempt to glare at him. He did not just go there. But at this point, with this new cocky attitude, why did it even surprise you he’d stoop so low? 

“You—” Your mind lapses and you’re unable to finish your sentence. 

Jeongin tilts his head slightly, his smile still crooked. “You?” 

Maybe it’s by sheer luck on your part or utter stupidity on Jisung’s, but a small noise makes you both turn and look at the older boy, who has his phone held up at the two of you. 

click.

He backs away slowly, retreating to the living room door. “You'll thank me for these later.” 

Rolling your eyes, you stare at him. “Why? Because the magic snow told you so?” 

Jisung gasps, pointing at you with a glare. 

“It’s not magic snow, it’s fate and I’ve already proved it enough times!” He yaps on. Huffing, he crosses his arms over his chest and his eyes narrow at you. “By the way, Jeongin will have to sleep in your room.” 

You freeze at his statement and feel all the color drain your face. 

“Uh…” you gulp. “Why?” 

“Well you see,” Jisung starts. His eyes flutter around the room, unable to stay on you. “The… the pull-out is broken!” He snaps his fingers before pointing at you. “Yeah, yeah, last time Hyunjin was here, he totally ripped it to shreds, sugarplum.” 

You blink slowly. The last time Hyunjin was here was last month, and Jisung was using the pull-out last week just fine.

“It’s just so broken now,” the older boy continues on his tangent, making a tsk noise and shaking his head. “He said he’d replace it, but he hasn’t yet, so it looks like Jeongin is going to have to bunk with you.” Jisung tries to laugh as he shrugs his shoulders. 

“Uh…” you repeat. 

It’s not that you didn’t want to share your room, let alone your bed, with Jeongin. He’s been your best friend for fifteen years—if there’s any guy on the planet you are comfortable doing that with, it’s him. Not even Heeseung or Yeonjun reached that level with you.

But even though you and Jeongin are attached to the hip, you two were never this close. Especially not when your parents shut down every attempt to stay for Christmas growing up. Why didn’t they just let you two do it? Surely, if they did, this wouldn’t be making your palms sweat as much as they are right now. 

That wasn’t the only issue now, though. Not when he could be moving away any day now, if it weren’t for the blizzard outside. Not when it took you this long to realize what you would give for him to stay.

Not stay for Christmas. Just stay.

“I can sleep on the normal couch,” Jeongin suggests, breaking your train of thought. Jisung feverishly shakes his head. 

“No!” He yells, his eyes wide. “I mean, you can’t, it’s so uncomfortable, you’ll have a bad back. It’s better to share with Y/N!” 

Jeongin’s cocky attitude seems to dissolve in seconds. His smirk melts into a small sheepish smile, the tips of his ears turn pink, and he can barely look you in the eye. 

“Is that okay?” he asks in the smallest voice ever. 

It’s now or never, Y/N. 

“Sure,” you smile. “It’s fine.” 

Jeongin shuffles out of the room, leaving you to glare daggers at the boy who’s gone back to nonchalantly snacking on Felix’s leftover desserts.

“You are so full of shit,” you grumble, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks again.

Jisung just gives you a tilted smile mid-munch.

“Would it help if I said the snow told me to do it?”

You slam your hand on the kitchen island, throwing your head back in despair and frustration. “You’ve lost your mind.”

“I didn’t, the snow did!” Jisung yells after you as you stomp out of the kitchen.

As Jeongin hogs the bathroom and gets ready for bed, you replay your words over and over in your head as you pace back and forth in your room, creating a small draft. ‘It’s fine’?! Are you crazy?! It’s not fine. It’s not fine at all.

Why did you agree to let Jeongin sleep just centimeters away from you? Is it too late to back out and hide in Jisung’s room for the night? If anything, Jisung deserved it for a multitude of reasons, the primary one being his ongoing snow escapades. You don’t know why you didn’t try fighting back on that earlier.

Running a hand through your hair, you heave out a sigh and flick the lights off. You pull your duvet up and shuffle under the covers, bunching the blanket around your chest and letting your arms rest on top of it. A strange feeling swirls in your stomach as you stare up the ceiling, and you truly think about what you just signed up for.

After fourteen years, you’re finally getting that Christmas sleepover you and Jeongin have been joking about since you were ten. Well… the one you’ve been joking about since you were ten. Jeongin started it, then attempted to forget it existed for a while, then he started joking along with you. However, at some point… it didn’t feel like you were joking anymore.

You don’t remember when, specifically—if there even was a specific moment. You just remember that at some point, despite years and years of endless teasing on your part, you genuinely wanted this sleepover. With all the roadblocks you two had endured during your childhood and teen years, though, you thought it’d never happen. 

And now, here you are.

The soft click of the door opening causes you to look up. Light from the hallway floods into the room and Jeongin smiles warmly at you. His hair is fluffy and he still has a few drops of water on his forehead from washing his face. He smooths out his oversized black t-shirt a little as his eyes meet yours, then he looks down and dusts off his gray sweatpants. You can’t help but smile fondly at the sight. 

His smile fades into something more timid as he closes the door behind him and shuffles over to the bed. Before climbing into the covers, he looks at you, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Is this…” he hesitates, “Are you sure this is oka—”

You chuckle, gently cutting him off. “Just get in the bed, Jeongin.”

A bittersweet feeling cascades over you as he tucks himself under the covers. It’s really happening. Your first Christmas sleepover has finally officially begun, after fourteen years of waiting. Somewhere in the back of your mind, though, you’re plagued with a brutal reminder that this could also be your last Christmas together. Ever.

You feel Jeongin move around a bit, soon settling and facing you. You shift onto your side after a moment, smiling tightly at him before letting your gaze drift out your window.  Snow continues to surge down, and the wind rattles against the glass. If it weren’t for the dim glow of the streetlight outside, you wouldn’t be able to see a thing.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Jeongin mumbles after a beat. You don’t need more light to know he has a cocky grin on his face.

“I’m not even looking at you, dummy,” you scoff, pointing past his ear and out the window.

He turns his head around, following your finger. Once he lands his eyes on the window, his jaw drops slightly and nods in understanding. “I didn’t think it would snow this hard.”

His voice is soft but gentle, and it makes your heart skip a beat. You force out a chuckle in an attempt to ground yourself. “Should’ve known Jisung would’ve gone mad.”

Jeongin snorts, “He’s long gone, you know this.” He turns around again, the corners of his lips lifting up slightly. “But… at least I get to stay for Christmas.”

You can't help but smile back. “After all these years,” you muse.

“Yeah…”

A beat of silence. “Is this what you imagined it would be?” You ask, your voice quieter.

Jeongin purses his lips together, looking down for a second. “When I was ten? No.”

You both chuckle.

“I thought we’d be knocked out on the couch after eating too many cookies,” Jeongin continues before adding as an afterthought, “Well, after you ate too many cookies.”

You gasp in fake offense, lightly swatting at his chest. “Hey, you were just as bad!”

He scoffs, and another chuckle slips out. It’s like music to your ears.

Then another beat of silence.

“Was this what you imagined it would be?” He repeats your question back to you.

Your eyes meet his as you shake your head. ”No.”

It wasn’t… at least, not until you got older, but he didn’t need to know that.

Feeling some of the tension melt away, you and Jeongin continue to lie down next to each other in a comfortable silence. You aren’t sure how quickly you became accustomed to feeling his body heat seeping into you. In so little time, this image of Jeongin lying next to you, you want it burned inside your mind. The image of his hair so fluffy, you want to reach out and run your hands through it. The silhouette of him under the covers so cozy, you want to throw yourself into his arms.

How it had been a measly fifteen minutes, but this scenario with him… of you two being together… you want it forever.

“Are you okay?” Jeongin’s voice breaks the silence, as well as your train of thought.

You let out a sigh. “I… I guess.”

You can’t help but feel like this is some cruel twist of fate. That maybe the snow isn’t magical or special, but rather cruel and cunning—teasing you by giving you what you’ve always wanted, your stay for Christmas, only to rip it away from you so ruthlessly in a few days. 

All of the words you want to say, that you wish you could say, becomes a bitter pill in your mouth. It leads you to wonder if it was worth spitting it all out, or if you should swallow and shove it down instead. If anything you say in this moment, if you tore your chest open and bore your heart out for Jeongin to see… would it really change anything? 

You already know the answer, but it doesn’t mean you can’t try.

“I…” you start. “I don’t want you to leave.” 

While you were lost in thought, Jeongin had shifted himself so he was laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He exhales and you can practically see his breath in the air.

“Honestly?” he sighs. “I don’t either.” 

“Then…” you hesitate. “Then can’t you just stay…” your voice shakes. “…with me?”

It feels weird not asking that he stay for Christmas, but you have that covered right now. You know it won’t last forever if you’re not careful, though, so it’s pointless to try.

So it’s not stay for Christmas, for once in your life. Just stay. 

He rolls over onto his side so he’s facing you and he places his hand ever so near yours. “I wish I could. but hey, we’ll work it out.” He smiles reassuringly. “Just like you said, we can text, we can FaceTime, we can visit…” 

Pushing your lips into a thin line, you nod. “R-Right. Yeah.”

Gently, he grabs your hand in his, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. “We'll make it work. We’re…” He pauses. You can’t pinpoint what in his eyes changes in the dark. “We’re best friends for a reason, remember?”

You sigh. “I… I guess.”

But was there a reason? Sure, you may have asked him if he wanted to be your friend when you first moved to the neighborhood, but you didn’t plan any of this. Nine-year-old you just needed a friend to ease your mother’s worries—you had no way to know what fate had in store for you two when you did get that friend. 

Now Jeongin is way more than a friend to you. More than the awkward boy in an obnoxious purple sweater you met all those years ago. He's, to keep it short, home. And you don’t know if you can handle losing your way home a third time.

Maybe the reason was simply fate, because all of this—it just kind of happened. And now you’re stuck, unsure what to do next… or maybe you do.

You hesitate for one moment, then take a deep breath. 

“But it— it’s more than that.” 

You stare at your entwined hands, watching how Jeongin continues to caress the back of your hand with his thumb. Swallowing your nerves, you look up to catch his eyes.

Here goes nothing.

“Jeongin, I really don’t want this to mess up what we have, but I…” you pause. “I fell for you.” 

You attempt to gauge his reaction. You can’t read the look in his eyes, but somehow, it urges you to keep going.

“I’m sorry this is so sudden,” you start again, your voice shaky, “it’s just— you’re such an important part of my life, you always have been.” You feel your eyes prick with tears. “And even when you were gone, I always found myself wanting to run back to you.”

You pause again, softly biting down on your lip as you struggle to swallow down your pounding heart. You take one more deep breath.

“It’s… it’s always been you, Jeongin.” Your voice cracks, a small whimper escapes your lips. Your eyes continue to well as the floodgates open in your heart, and you look down before you completely break. “I-I can’t lose you again.”

You attempt to blink your tears away, but a few manage to slide down your cheek, seeping into your pillow. Shaking your head, your lower lip quivers, and you choke out a sob.

“Y/N…”

Jeongin slips his hand out of yours and you try your best to calm your breathing. He slowly moves his hand up, gently brushing away a few stray hairs that stick to your face, and you look up at him through glassy eyes. Your vision blurs, but you sense a feeling of longing, an almost-bittersweet swirl of warmth and affection radiating from Jeongin as he gazes down at you.

As he moves to cup your cheek, wiping away a tear with the pad of his thumb, the sound of your pounding heart rings in your ears. The sensation seems to fade into the background when he begins to speak.

“I fell for you, too. I… I have been for years, actually.”

Your breath hitches in your throat at his words. He smiles tenderly at you as you sniffle, wiping away another tear.

“It’s always been you, too, Y/N, and I hate that it took so long to realize it,” he breathes out after another moment. "If anyone should be apologizing here, it’s me.”

“Jeongin…” you mumble, but he shakes his head firmly. 

“I never should’ve left the first time without saying goodbye.” The boy sighs, remorse pooling in his eyes as they meet yours. “It— it hurt so much to think about, but leaving you like that hurt even more.” His gaze drifts down for a moment and he slips his free hand into yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. Smiling lightly, he looks back up at you, his regrets replaced with a newfound conviction. “I’m not letting that happen again.”

A new sensation overwhelms you: one of relief, of euphoria. It fills the empty gaps in your chest, and causes the butterflies in your stomach to take flight. It’s as if you had been stranded at sea for years and finally found land, as if you had one puzzle piece left before everything seamlessly clicked into place. For the first time in years, everything feels right. Jeongin’s gaze, so sugary sweet like honey, makes you crave more.

His smile widens, causing yours to do the same. “I guess we have one more reason we have to make this work, then, right?”

A small giggle escapes you so quickly that you can’t even catch it. Jeongin catches the few tears—tears of happiness this time–that slip from your eyes, before pulling you into his embrace, fully immersing you in his warmth. You hug him back tightly, tucking your head into his shoulder and never wanting to let go.

“I love you, Jeongin,” you whisper.

You feel Jeongin press a light kiss to the top of your head. When he pulls away, he reaches a hand up, gently cradling the back of your head as he brushes his nose against your hair. 

“I love you, too, Y/N.” 

This image of you and Jeongin… all snuggled up, warm and safe in each other’s arms throughout the night... this feels right. This feels like home.

You’re home.

...to 25. (epilogue)

The bitter air churns around you as you step out of Jisung’s car, and you immediately regret not wearing a larger coat instead of just your cardigan. However, before you can pull it closer to you, you feel Jeongin slide his hand into yours, entwining your fingers together. Sighing contentedly, you lean into his shoulder and gaze up at him.

“You okay, there?” He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand. “I know I look dashing, but still.”

You scoff lightly. “‘M just cold, Jeongin.”

Smiling, he turns his head to face you, his breath warm against your ear.

“Okay, but try not to fall too hard for me, Miss Tuxedo Effect.” 

Rolling your eyes, you use your free hand to hit his chest. “Shut up.” 

His chuckles are like heaven in your ears. You want to hear more of it, even if it’s at your own expense. And you knew he was never going to let you live “tuxedo effect” down. Just like Jisung and his “sugarplum” ordeal, this was just another nickname you’d have to put under your belt—not that you minded much, not when you got to hear Jeongin laugh in the way he does. 

Your attention gets brought back to him once you feel him squeeze your hand lightly. Your eyes linger on him and shift to the subtle light shining from your front porch. You notice how stiff he’s gotten, wide eyes staring blankly at your house like a deer in headlights.

“You okay?” you ask quietly, rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb. 

He sighs and hesitantly nods. “Just… nervous.”

You smile. Following the events from last Christmas Eve, Jeongin moved into his new apartment close to his job at the end of January. By the beginning of summer, he and Jisung helped get you a job closer to him so you could move in with your now-boyfriend.

Despite having an extra month together after Christmas, neither of you exactly… broke it to your parents that you two got together. You don’t remember if it just slipped your minds or if you two wanted to surprise them, but either way, they’ll find out in just a few moments. Given your history with the Christmas party and Christmas as a whole, you both agreed there’s no better place to break the news.

Getting up onto your tippy-toes, you place the lightest kiss onto his cheek, but pull away far too quickly in Jeongin’s opinion. “It’ll be okay.” You squeeze his hand. “I’m right next to you.” 

He glances at you, a smile playing at his lips. “Always?” 

You hum, nodding. “Always.” Then you give him a quick once-over and huff, a grimace twisting your mouth. “But do you really need to wear that?”

Jeongin looks down at his outfit, and his smile slowly grows more bashful as he fixes the tie of his tuxedo. Meanwhile, you’re left to painstakingly replay the events from five minutes ago in your mind.

The scene itself mirrored the one from when you were sixteen: Jisung in the driver’s seat, you in the passenger seat, and Jeongin trying desperately hard to get changed in the backseat, Mariah Carey taunting him from the speakers. Every now and then, Jisung tried to push his luck by jolting the car forward. 

It was all way too similar, except this time, there was no sneaking Jeongin out of the house. Also, there was really no need for an emergency tux this time around. Yet, somehow, Jisung still convinced him to put it on.

“I just want to make a good impression,” you hear Jeongin squeak out a moment later. You look back at him and he’s frantically smoothing out his suit jacket, and a light pink blush dusts his cheeks and the tips of his ears. You have to restrain yourself from smothering the boy with kisses at the sight. 

“Babe, you already have a good impression,” you chuckle adoringly, “you grew up here, remember?”

Your boyfriend gazes at you with wide eyes, uncertainty glazing his features. You step closer to him, taking his hand in yours again.

“It’ll be okay,” you repeat, allowing Jeongin to lace your fingers together. “And Jisung did not need to bring the suit with us.”

“But it’s an emergency tux, Y/N,” Jeongin says. “You have to keep it around you in case you need it, it’s in the name!”

“This isn’t even a fancy emergency!”

“But Jisung said it’s a romantic one! That counts!”

You let out a deep sigh, but you can’t be too mad at Jisung for trying to help. “Fine, fine.” You wait a moment then wonder aloud, “Speaking of, when do you think Jisung will get back?” 

Since Jisung still lives in town, he welcomed you both back to his apartment with open arms and, in true Jisung fashion, an excessive amount of babying. He had taken the liberty of not only driving two cities away to pick you two up (he claims he came for a job interview anyway—you don’t not believe him, but you think he also just missed you two), but also dropping you both off at your house before driving off to get coffee.

Jeongin shrugs. “Who knows? He does love his coffee.”

You chuckle fondly. “He’ll catch up later.”

Pulling Jeongin by the hand, you lead the way up the pavement and to the confines of your house. 

Even though it hadn’t been long since you were last here, you missed it dearly. You also missed the way your house was now adorned with Christmas lights. Every year, your dad always seemed to outdo himself with putting up better and better lights. You are sure he had been planning it since last year, that maybe he had already started on next year’s lights, too. 

When you walk through your front door, you’re met with the smell of cinnamon and sugar cookies. There’s light Christmas music in the air and everyone is scattered around, laughing, drinking, and having a merry time. Your mom and dad are nowhere to be seen—you assume they’re in the kitchen somewhere, checking on guests or snacks. You figure you’ll bump into them eventually.

You find countless familiar faces in the sea of people. You see old families that have lived in the neighborhood since before you moved here, families that you have come to view as part of your own. You spot the kids you grew up with; some who are freshly-turned teenagers, and others who have since grown up and started their own lives. You even see Yeonjun, sharing a drink with his girlfriend.

While it was awkward between you at first, you both came to terms with what you had and what you were. You two loved each other, but not in the way that the other wanted or needed. He was a memory, carved into you like stone, but a cherished one that you will hold deep in your heart.

Your eyes meet and you both smile instantly at the sight of each other. His eyes glance back at the boy beside you and you can see how he laughs, his smile growing wider. His eyes meet yours again, he nods his head and you nod yours. 

There’s no need for spoken words. You’re both happy, and you’re both happy the other is happy. Everything you two went through, from your journeys together to your journeys apart, has led you to this moment. 

Ultimate happiness. 

Jeongin pulls your attention back to him, leading you through small groups of people, and you turn back one final time to send Yeonjun a smile. When you look back around to see where Jeongin is guiding you, you see his mom sitting at the dining table, munching away on some snacks on a paper plate. 

She looks up with a bright smile; you’re sure it’s where Jeongin got his from. However, her smile soon melts into confusion at Jeongin’s peculiar outfit. Rising from her seat, she pulls her son into a hug. 

“Hey, sweeties,” she hums, pulling away from Jeongin after a second, keeping her hands on his shoulders as she looks down at his ‘emergency tux’. “Why are you wearing a tux? It’s just the Christmas party.” 

“I told you,” you mumble from beside him. 

He huffs, pulling and lossing the tie around his neck. “I just… it’s dumb.” 

“No, no,” you pout. “You look great, don’t worry about it.” 

Chuckling, Jeongin runs a hand through his hair, his eyes landing on you as he smiles. 

“Of course you’d say that, Miss Tuxedo Effect.” 

Rolling your eyes, you mutter to yourself as Mrs. Yang giggles. 

“Well, for whatever reason you’re wearing it,” Mrs. Yang pinches Jeongin’s cheek causing him to attempt to pull away. “You look very handsome, honey sweet.” 

“T-Thanks, Mom.” 

Pulling on Jeongin’s hand, you fish into your bag, pulling out a pair of black jeans and an almost-obnoxious shade of purple sweatshirt. Dubbing them an ‘emergency change of clothes’, you now know you were right to pack them. 

“You packed spare clothes?” Jeongin asks as you shove them in his hands. 

Humming, you nod your head. “Of course, I knew Jisung would try and fill your head with some foolish idea.” 

“It wasn’t…” You cut him off with a look. He doesn't finish his sentence. 

He puts the jeans over his arm, pulling the sweatshirt out to see. You almost fail to notice the way the tips of his ears, once again, turn pink as he smiles. 

“I thought you hated this color,” he laughs. 

Pushing him forward and in the direction of the stairs, you concede. “Eh, it grew on me. Now please change.” 

Jeongin continues to laugh as he struggles against you. “I’m going, I’m going!” 

When he comes down a mere five minutes later, the now-discarded tux in his hands, you can tell he’s far more comfortable than before. He leaves it on the couch and takes his place beside you once again, slipping his hand into yours. This time, you take the initiative to thread your fingers together.

A gasp leaves Mrs. Yang’s parted lips when she notes the way her son beams down at you. A warm glow seems to encircle him, and you can almost count the specks in his sparkly eyes when you look up. There’s nothing but affection swimming in his loved-up smile—just pure endearment for you.

“Did you two?” She watches you two with wide eyes. 

You and Jeongin suddenly look away from each other. Bashfully, you let your gaze fall to the floor, and you feel a tinge of red tickle your ears, but you don’t bother to let his hand go.

He doesn’t, either. He just squeezes your hand lightly as he nods, letting out a shy giggle.

Mrs. Yang gasps again, her hands flying over her mouth. Like mother, like son.

“You did!”

Without warning, she springs up from her chair. “Oh, I have to go find your father, now!” she gushes, pulling Jeongin into a bone-crushing hug. When she lets go of your startled boyfriend, she turns to you, squeezing you tight. “And your parents, too!”

You let out an embarrassed chuckle as you hug her back. When you both part, Mrs. Yang turns on her heel and scurries to the kitchen. 

Jeongin snaps his head towards you as his mother’s figure disappears into the crowd. His lips twitch up to an amused grin—it only grows wider when you match his expression. 

You shake your head to yourself, leaning your forehead against his shoulder. You feel Jeongin’s hand snake around your back, and you let out an exasperated sigh as he pulls you into his own hug.

“Parents, am I right?” he comments. His other arm hooks snugly around your waist, bringing you in closer. You shake your head into the crook of his neck as your own arms go around the boy.

“If that’s how your mom reacts, imagine what mine’s gonna do,” you mumble into his skin.

For better or worse, you’re quickly proven right.

“Ohhh, look how cute!”

You know exactly what happens next without even moving your head. Your mother, amidst her endless gushing about how she’s been “waiting for this day for years!”, scrambles to pull her phone out of her pocket, making a beeline straight for the camera app. Her mouth is probably gaping up and down like a fish, and she’s most definitely shuffling around the crowded space for the best angle. If your and Jeongin’s fathers were dragged along, they do nothing to stop her (not that they could to begin with, but still).

You don’t need to look up to know, and you don’t want to. You’d much rather her not see how red your face is, anyway.

“Okay, don’t move!” your mother orders. “One, two…”

“Mom!” you whine, burrowing yourself further into Jeongin’s sweater.

As your mother fulfills her need for pictures, Jeongin’s giggles ring in your ears. You try to focus on that to will your embarrassment away.

“Are you done yet, Mom?” you speak after a moment. A pout forms on your lips when she tuts.

“Uh uh, I need more!”

“You don’t have enough yet?!”

“There’s never enough photos!” A hearty, teasing laugh leaves her throat, chiming over the music for a second. “You know this, sugarplum.”

“Wait, so that’s why Jisung calls you ‘sugarplum’?!” Jeongin questions. He almost pulls back to get a better look at you, but you grip onto him tighter before he has the chance.

“Yes, and that’s my sugarplum!” Another familiar voice cries out.

Stepping back from Jeongin, you turn to see Jisung standing there with a childish frown on his face. He holds a take-out cup in one hand, and lets go of a girl’s hand to point at Jeongin with the other.

Wait… who’s the girl? You’ll have to get back to that.

“You’re her boyfriend, call her ‘baby’ or ‘boo-boo’ or something,” he adds, exaggerating his pout. “I claimed ‘sugarplum’ years ago!”

You roll your eyes. Technically, your mother claimed it first, but you know she’ll let Jisung go.

“Please don’t call me ‘boo-boo’,” you say, blankly staring up at Jeongin. Instead of responding, he reaches a hand up to pinch your cheek.

“Aww, is someone blushing?” he coos.

You push his hand away with a whine, earning a giggle from him and both of your moms. “Not you, too!” 

The girl next to Jisung leans over to him and whispers something in his ear. You aren’t sure what, but the boy responds to her with an “I told youuu,” a whimsical ring to his voice.

Jeongin glances at the girl, then at you, his face twisted in bewilderment. All you can respond with is a shrug.

“Ah,” Jisung pipes up, sensing your confusion, and he gestures to the brunette next to him. “This is Lia.”

She gives you all a small wave, quickly looking down and smoothing her maroon sweater with one hand. You all exchange greetings back, and Jisung continues, a sheepish smile on his face.

“We met during college, and, uh, I ran into her at the cafe just now.” The older boy scratches at the back of his neck, and a rosy glow rises to his cheeks. “She told me she just moved here, actually, and I figured I’d show her around… make her feel at home, you know?”

A warm smile paints your lips. You think of when you first moved here, how the community welcomed you and your family with open arms. Even if your grumpy nine-year-old self didn’t appreciate it, your twenty-five-year-old self couldn’t be more grateful. “You’re gonna love it here,” you say to Lia.

Lia smiles back, and she seems to relax at your words. “Thank you.”

“Oh, aaaand,” Jisung cuts in again after a moment. He tenderly takes Lia’s hand in his, sending her a bubbly, heart-eyed grin as he swings their hands between them.

“Do you really have to open with this?” Lia says softly.

“Yes, I do!” Jisung squeaks, his voice jumping higher than normal. “They’ll get it, trust me!”

He glances hopefully at you and Jeongin, his eyes wide and bright. The two of you exchange confused looks with each other. What could he be talking about?

A second later, it clicks. Why else would Jisung be hopping up and down so eagerly, about ready to jump out of his hoodie any minute now?

“Don’t tell me you met during—” you begin.

“During the first snow!” Jisung finishes your sentence in a singsong. He tapers off with a dreamy sigh, and his eyes seem to sparkle more when they land back on an embarrassed Lia.

“He just means the second time around,” she clarifies with an awkward cough. “The first time was during spring.”

Your first instinct is to roll your eyes at your friend’s ongoing infatuation with the snow, but a fond chuckle takes its place. You had stayed up many nights talking with Jisung when you lived with him, the two of you sprawled out like starfish on your kitchen floor as you shared thoughts about the future, the simultaneous excitement and uncertainty of it all. If there was one thing Jisung was firm on, it was his hope that he’d meet The One during the first snow of winter, that the twinkling little snowflakes would be his guiding star to his person.

“Love at first snow,” was what he called it, “…you know, like you and Jeongin.” As much as you found the phrase irritating at the time, you never bothered to correct him.

But of course, it’s one thing to have hopeless romantic fantasies, and another to have them come to life. It’s kind of endearing, maybe heartwarming in a weird little-sister-figure way, to observe Jisung’s increasingly lovestruck daze as he relives the recent memory—you can practically see the hearts dancing around his head. But that’s not the point right now.

So this is the girl Jisung always texted you about during college.

You recall countless conversations about how pretty and smart and sweet she was, and even more of him blowing up your phone at three in the morning for date ideas (“the more aesthetic, the better! :D”). Even though he successfully asked her out, he still never let it go that they never saw the first snow together before they broke up.

Despite her embarrassment, Lia seems to mirror Jisung’s loved-up smile. From what he told you, they parted ways on good terms—something about both of them graduating soon and having different mindsets, he said, but they both agreed to stay friends. But something tells you that, even after all this time, they’re still on the same page about the first snow… and maybe some other matters, too.

You can see it in their eyes: the feverish look that makes their irises shimmer as they gaze at each other, the almost-overwhelming amount of affection that swims in their pupils and makes the corners of their lips twist up. You recognize it all too well—it’s the exact same way you used to look at Jeongin. Every once in a while, you still catch yourself doing it.

It’s nothing but fate, at this point, when you notice faint white pellets of snow are still hitting the window in your peripheral. An overjoyed smile of your own quickly overtakes your features, and when you look up at Jeongin, it seems like he’s thinking the same thing as you.

With an infectious giggle, Jeongin grabs your hand, but you sharply turn to Jisung and Lia before he can pull you away. Your boyfriend's small whines fall on deaf ears, and he childishly tugs at your hand as you try to get the lovebirds’ attention.

“Hey, do you wanna go see the magic snow or not?” you call out, half-teasingly and half-genuinely.

In a snap, Jisung’s lovesick daze flips into a triumphant smile as he turns to you. “So you admit it’s magic?!”

You roll your eyes, giving Jeongin’s hand a quick squeeze to calm his impatience. “I needed to get your attention somehow,” you say, “but just this once, I’ll admit it.” 

The way your friend seems to light up like a Christmas tree is enough to make you give in. You do owe him for his stunt last year, after all—you’re more than happy to let him have this one.

“Now, do you want to go see the snow or not?” you ask after another moment, a small smile etched on your lips.

“Of course I want to see the snow!” Jisung chirps.

As he looks to Lia for her response, his puppy-love daze making a return, you allow yourself to take in your surroundings. The warmth teeming around you from the Christmas party is one that never gets old, no matter how many times you come, and no matter how long you’re gone. It brings a wave of peace to your heart, even as a couple of screaming children run a lap around you and your friends.

Your chipper boyfriend begins to pull you to the front door with him, making you lose your step for a second, and you find yourself meeting Yeonjun’s eyes from across the house one more time. Before you lose sight of him, you nod to the window several feet away from him, sending him a wink to him before you turn around. Even if you weren’t meant to be his love at first snow, the least you can do is make sure he got his.

By the time you look away, Jeongin has already pulled you both to the front door, Jisung and Lia already dressed and waiting for you two. Hastily, he throws on his coat before he scrambles through the pile of shoes by the doormat to find his own pair.

You’re about to do the same, then you realize…

“Right, I forgot my—”

“Your jacket?” Jisung calls out. Without another word, he digs into his backpack and tosses you the coat you left behind at his apartment earlier. You slip it on with a relieved smile, mouthing a ‘thank you’ before getting your shoes on and swinging the door open for all four of you.

Soft, puffy snowflakes dot the ground around you as you begin your stroll down the sidewalk. You hear Jisung and Lia’s musings behind you, but they fade into a quiet buzz as all the memories from your childhood flash before your eyes. The houses you pass by are ones you used to see everyday on the way home from school, and the sidewalks are ones you used to run around on during the weekends. You never would’ve thought you’d be back now, reliving it all with the people you love most.

It gets even better, though, when Jeongin nudges your shoulder, and points to a grassy area coming up ahead. You follow his finger and gasp, immediately recognizing the spot.

Reaching for his hand, you break into a sprint and pull the boy with you to the neighborhood park, the two of you almost tripping due to the slippery snow. The park is almost the exact same as it was when you first moved. Some parts had been upgraded over time, whereas others still seemed heavily used and loved by the younger children around the neighborhood.

Your eyes glaze around the small park and you could almost see a vision of nine-year-old you, standing near your mother as she pushes you to speak to the other children—to make some new friends. You could practically see nine-year-old Jeongin hanging upside-down from the monkey bars, adorned in that now less-obnoxious purple sweater. 

You wonder what nine-year-old you would think if she saw where you are now, with Jeongin’s hand wrapped tightly around your own. You wonder what she’d have to say about the way your cheeks tickled pink, not only from the cold, but also from the way Jeongin’s gaze lingered on you for a moment too long, and the way his lips tugged into a soft smile whenever you looked back at him.

Tugging lightly on Jeongin’s hand, you lead the both of you over towards the monkey bars, his whines falling on deaf ears as you drop his hand from your grasp to climb up the metal bars. Once you’re sat down in the most comfortable position you can, the cold metal sending shivers down your spine, you beckon Jeongin to join you. 

“Sit with me.” You smile down at him, one hand keeping you steady as the other makes grabby hands in Jeongin’s direction. 

Jeongin huffs. “But it’s so cold.” 

However, his words fall short when he still begrudgingly makes the small climb up. He lets his legs dangle through the holes, his knees knocking against your own lightly. 

A gust of cold air causes you to shiver and as a response, you pull your coat closer to you. This seems to make Jeongin chuckle fondly, and you feel his eyes linger on you for a second before he looks out at the horizon. The falling snowflakes glisten under the remnants of the sunlight, and the holiday lights emit a breathtaking glow. You’re both still not tall enough to see much above the houses in front of you, but that’s okay—you know what lies beyond it.

“You know, I never thought we’d be back here,” you mumble. A giggle escapes you as you watch the stars slowly make their appearance above you.

Jeongin has a giggle of his own as something on the monkey bars catches his eye. “I can’t believe it’s still here,” he continues to laugh, causing you to redirect your gaze. 

“What do you mean?” 

He runs his fingers lightly over the faded black ink scrawled across the top of the monkey bars. 

Y/N and Jeongin, 2010.

“No way,” you gasp, trying your best to lean over to see it better without falling. “I thought they replaced the park equipment years ago.” 

Looking up at you, Jeongin smiles. “Obviously not all of it.” 

He fishes around in his pocket for a second and before you can question anything, he pulls out a black marker pen and unclips the lid. 

“What are you–” 

Your sentence goes unfinished, however, when he leans over and adds a small section under his own nine-year-old handwriting. 

And forevermore.

Your heartstrings are played like a violin as you watch Jeongin cap the pen back up, a pleased smile etched on his lips. When he finally comes back to reality, noticing your gaze, he shrugs. 

“What?” he says. “Had to add it and make it official.” 

“We’ve been official for a year, I don’t think the monkey bars would mind.” 

Jeongin rolls his eyes, a chuckle escaping him. “What if some kids read it? Surely, they’ll love to know the story has a happy ending?” 

If you weren’t afraid of falling, you would have jumped on him, showering his face in the most kisses possible. However, for both his and your safety, you opt for words instead.

“I love you,” you breathe, beaming at him. You’ve never said anything more true in your life. 

His smile mirrors your own. “I love you too.” 

You look back at the sky as Jeongin shoves his pen and hands back in his pockets, the dopey grin on your face growing wider, if that was even possible. Another giggle escapes you when you feel a drop of snow hit your nose. This is everything to you—it’s ultimate happiness.

But there’s one thing missing.

“I can’t believe I forgot,” you say, your gaze falling back down. 

Raising an eyebrow, he looks at you in curiosity. “Yeah?” he responds, and you stare back with a cheeky smile.

“Stay for Christmas?”

Jeongin shakes his head, but his giggles still fill your ears, sending your heart into shockwaves of emotions, like the ripples after a stone hitting the water. The tips of his ears as well as his cheeks glow pink under the streetlight that has just flicked on. You can’t tell if it’s from the cold or from you, but you wish for it to be the latter. 

“You know you don’t have to say that anymore, right?” Jeongin asks, gazing at you with a look that makes it hard to catch a breath. 

“I know,” you exhale, “but it’s basically tradition now, it’s a must.”

“Well, tradition or not…” Jeongin begins. He slips his hand from out of his pocket to grab and entwine your fingers with his own. His heat seeps into you as he runs his thumb over the back of your hand. “…I’m here to stay.” 

He uses his other hand to tap lightly on the recently-added handwriting, his words echoing around in your ears. “Forevermore.” 

Your eyes are all soft and sparkly as you smile at him, giving his hand a squeeze before letting the air around you fall silent. A contented sigh escapes your parted lips, forming a faint puff in the cold air as you watch the fluffy, white crystals above you flutter down.

Jeongin started off as a mere stranger, nothing but the awkward boy in an ugly sweater. Sixteen years later, he’s sitting with you atop the same monkey bars upon which you two met as so much more. He’s your best friend, your childhood playmate, your built-in Mario Kart partner. He’s your teenage crush, your love at first snow, your stay for Christmas—and all that only you two know it entails.

Perhaps, most important of all, Jeongin is home. And as long as you have Jeongin, you’ll always know your way back.

[chaos-grimlin]

Is there going to be another part of marked soon

Yes rn!! Sorry for not being active

Intro:No one truly knows what happened that night in Woodsboro, California. All the public knows was that two teenage boys, Billy Loomis and Stu Macher, went crazy. That the boys killed with no motive, that it was a case of crazy and peer pressure. Sidney Prescott, the "girlfriend" of Billy Loomis,Y/n L/n, the girl both boys were deeply obsessed with, and Gale weathers, a news reporter, where 3 of 5 witnesses that were willing to talk and tell their sides of the story to the public while Dewy Riley, the deputy sheriff of woodsboro, and tennager Randy Meeks refused to talk to law enforcements at the time. All the stories told to law enforcement seem to differ from person to person, but...in this tale, we will focus on Y/n, the obsessions, side of the story...

Marked (poly Billy Loomis and Stu Macher x reader)

Word count:1207

Chapter 20- Fucking mask..

^^^Y/n P.O.V+ a one week time skip^^^

Ever since i was dismissed from the hospital, my mom and Dad said it was better if i stayed over at Dewy's and Tatums.

My parents were right, it wasnt safe for me to go back home..i dont think it ever will be okay or safe for me.

"Hey! Y/n you okay?" Tatum chirped out as she sat down next to me on the couch.

My eyes snapped to the left as i looked over at her. "Oh yeah im okay" i said as i rubbed my arm.

"Thats good, also Dewy said you'll be able to come to school tomorrow, but only if you want to" Tatum said as she looked at me, a smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

I paused for a second before i spoke again "yeah...i guess i can go" I muttered.

"Yay!" Tatum squealed out as she pulled me into a hug.

I hugged Tatum back then, we parted.

"Everyone will be so happy to know your okay" Tatum said.

"What do you mean? Our group already know im. At most half way okay" i said, cocking an eyebrow up at her.

"Oh everyone else at the school, teachers, students, staff members" Tatum named off.

"Why would they care" i whispered.

"Nothing like this has happened since Sidneys mom...so.. Every one is worried"

I took in a deep breath, rethinking my choice on going to school tomorrow. I just know everyone will bombard me with questions.

Tatum put her hand on my shoulder, once again pulling me out of my thoughts. "Hey it'll all be okay.."

~~~~the next day~~~~

Dewy parked his car infront of Woodsboro high.

"Bye you two" Dewy said, a smile forming on his lips.

"Bye" Tatum said, a sassy tone lacing her voice as she got out of the front seat and shut the door.

"Bye Dewy" I whispered as i opened the door.

After I shut it and went to walk off, Dewy stopped me.

"Y/n..if anything happens, if you get too stressed, ir anything, call me" he said as he handed me a crumbled piece of paper.

I looked down at the paper, seeing slopply written number on it. I smiled slightly and nodded " i will"

"Bye now, have a good day" Dewy said " you too" i replied.

Shortly after I turned on my heels and started walking to the school, seeing Tatum waiting by a tree for me.

Me and Tatum made it about halfway to the doors before Stu rushed up to us.

Stu, had a smile on his face.

"What are you smiling about Stu?" Tatum asked as Stu walked next to her.

"Well, today seems like a good day if you must know" Stu said sharply, yet his goofy tone still remaind.

Stu looked past Tatum and looked at me.

For a split second, i thought i saw the look of regret, or Fear, cross his features, but, as quickly as i saw it, it was gone..

"Oh your back!" Stu said quickly.

"Yeah..i am" i said as I averted eye contact with him.

"So your feeling better?" Stu asked.

All i did was shrug to his question.

From the corners of my eyes I saw Stu look at Tatum and whisper something to her.

I tried to hear what he said but i couldn't.

"Anyway! Lets go find Sid, Billy, and Randy" Tatum said, quickly averting thr topic away from what Stu said.

~~~~a few moments later~~~~

"Y/n you actually came!" Randy yelled out as soon as he saw me.

I felt a fuzzy feeling flutter inside my heart when I saw him.

Randy hopped up from his seat next to Billy and quickly rushed to me.

Randy engulfed me in a tight hug.

I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head onto his shoulder.

"I thought you wouldnt come today" Randy whispered into my ear.

"Well, im here" i said softly, but, from over Randy's shoulder, I saw Billy glaring at Randy.

If looks could kill, Randy would be 6 feet under.

The look he ran shivers down my spine, he looked like he was planning something, something bad...

Me and Randy soon pulled away from the hug after be planted a kiss on my cheek.

"Hey Y/n, long time no see" Sidney said with a soft smile.

"Yeah..its been a while"

^^^3rd person P.O.V^^^

Everyone at Woodsboro knew what happened, most were sympathetic, others decided to make school Y/ns own personal hell..

Everyone knew what costume the two hellish people wore the night Y/n was raped...

Y/n leaned up against her locker, letting a breathy laugh leave her parted lips as Randy told a random cheesy joke.

Everything was going okay, other then everyone, even teachers, constantly bringing it up..

Y/n knew they had good intentions, but she hated every bit of it..

Soon, the bell rang.

Y/n looked up at Randy and smiled, " I've got to go, bye!" Y/n said.

"Byeee"

Y/n turned in the oppistie direction and started walking.

Y/n thought that everything was okay today, she wasnt sulking, sje wasn't feeling like she was the problem...

Everything was okay....

Untill she saw it....

That costume...

That goddamn costume...

Its black eyes locked onto hers.

Y/n felt every muscle in her body tighten, as her breath hitched in her throat.

The masked person rushed up to her..and that's when it happened..she felt like sje was transported back to the night...

When she ran through the street, desperately calling out for help as the masked man trailed behind her.

Y/n turned on her heels and started running.

In her mind, she was back there, running for her life..

The school floor turned into concrete, the lights were gone and replaced with dim moonlight.

Y/n didn't want it to happen again..

Run

Run

Run

That was all that ran through her mind as she ran.

She heard the person's harsh foot steps behind her.

Tears filled her eyes as she took a left down the hall.

She didn't make it far before the person jumped on her.

A scream left Y/n throat as she squirmed and flailed her limbs around.

Soon, the person turned her to hwr back, and Y/n balled her fist up, and hit the person hard..

Y/n snapped out of the trance, she was back in school.. She was kn her back on the floor and the person who tackled her fumbled back and quickly ripped off the father death mask.

"MR. JONES" the princable screamed out as he came to the scene.

Alex Jones stood up, clutching his hand over his broken nose as the principle looked at him in pure disappointment, then he looked at Y/n, who was shaking and crying on the floor

Before the principal could say anything to her, she jumped to her feet and quickly ran off.

Little did anyone now, that Billy and Stu watched the whole thing..

Theu saw how much they had scared Y/n that night...at with that... They knew she'd be easier to use....

[boybandjediorder]

hi! could i perhaps have a hand for the wip guessing game ?

HI YES I DO IN FACT HAVE A HAND IN HERE!!!

this is the second chapter to a fic that i'm working on akdsf the first chapter is here on ao3: the end of the line

"Truly, Master, you exhaust me." Dooku drawls, dragging a hand over his forehead to dig into his beard. "As much as I love to entertain your roundabout schemes, I find it quite difficult to find the... value in this one." The Count takes a slow circle around their latest prize, the heels of his short boots clicking softly on the marble tile that he commissioned just for his favorite base. After all, the blackened veins within the flooring match his drapery, and Dooku would despise to be caught with such a haphazard corridor. His cape flows softly behind him as he paces, splitting his gaze between their spoil and the flickering blue holo of his hooded master.

alskdjfld im actually really excited for this wip :3 thanks for the ask!!!! <3

[artficlly]

face the music (chapter 2)

Music College Marvel AU - Chapter 2

!frat!musician!bucky x !frat!musician!steve x !musician!femreader

Warnings: angst, violence, mentions choking, alcohol, smoking, swearing, implications of previous abuse, ptsd, panic attack, victim blaming

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: this is kinda heavier than expected lol. hopefully more fluffy stuff to come bc im so hype for soft bucky n steve <3 not proof read

chapter masterlist | main masterlist

You should’ve known the moment that people whipped out their phones to record the fight that this would happen. 

You nervously pick at your nails, bouncing your knee as you sit outside Stark’s office. Silently cursing, you can only hope that you don’t lose your scholarship over this. Being called to the Head of the College’s office wasn’t promising though. To your side, you hear Steve huff, he seems more inconvenienced than anxious, while Bucky hasn’t stopped staring at you since you arrived. He obviously had something to say to you, but you had completely blanked him and diverted all your interest into nervously fidgeting. You’re not even sure why they were here, you could only guess it was because they had been the ones to split up the fight.

Bucky had told you to stay put last night and you had completely ignored him. After making a short call to Thor to come pick Loki up and take him to a hospital, you had ditched the party. It probably hadn’t been the best idea walking home alone sobbing, but in that moment you had needed to be alone. Loki was fine - thankfully - he would have to stay a few nights at the hospital to be monitored due to the hefty concussion he had received. You had woken up to a hundred concerned texts and missed calls. You didn’t have the energy to reply to them or to explain. You’d have to bite the bullet when you got to class though, you didn’t know if you’d be able to hold it together when they all crowded you. It was even worse now that you had been called to Stark’s office, making you late to your morning class. Sharon, Yelena and Kate were going to be on you like fucking bloodhounds. 

You jumped as the door to Stark’s office swung open, a disheveled John Walker emerging. He was sporting two black eyes, a broken noise and a split lip. Even if he had beaten the shit out of Loki, it was satisfying to see that Loki had got a few punches in. John eyes you with a look of rage. Not a good sign. All you can do is sink back further into your chair, heart pounding. Maybe it was just the anxiety, the familiarity of the bruises on your skin… but you couldn’t help but think John looked like him. The thought hung in your mind for a moment, you hadn’t thought about him in months.

“Keep going, Walker.” Tony Stark spoke as he waved John off. You could feel John’s glare on you even as you looked away. You were fucked. This was fucked.

“Alright. You three, in,” Stark said, you could hear the tiredness in his tone. Grabbing your bag, you stood, hugging it to your chest like it could protect you from what was to come. Expulsion? Your scholarship being revoked? 

“Mr. Stark, Sir. I don’t understand why Bucky and I are here-” Steve started only to be cut off. 

“Just get in the office, Rogers.” 

“Right. Sorry.” Steve replied sheepishly with a huff as you slumped down into one of the office chairs. Steve only arched an eyebrow at you, thoroughly unimpressed. He was probably blaming you for being dragged into this drama. You couldn’t help but notice how his eyes lingered on your bruised throat. You swallowed hard, pulling your sweater to cover it.

“You all know why you’re here, you’re not in trouble… I just need some, uh, clarity on this situation,” Stark spoke as he leaned back into his own chair. He looked like a fucking mob boss leaning back in his leather chair, dark polished wood desk separating the three of you from him. A cigar was still smoking in an overflowing ashtray, a half-drunk glass of whiskey to his side. Who could drink hard liquor this early in the morning? God. 

“Clarity on what, exactly?” Bucky spoke up for you, drumming his fingers on the arm of the seat he was seated in. You didn’t dare catch his eye, instead staring at your feet as your knee bounced nervously. The whole weekend you hadn’t been able to get his touch out of your brain. The way he wet his lips before speaking, the concern in his expression. The nickname? Siren. What was that supposed to mean, how were you supposed to interpret that? 

“I don’t know, Jesus. Just run through what happened from the beginning. I just need a statement from your perspective so I can move this along.” Stark wasn’t the best at being, well, a leader. A responsible one at least. He was a rockstar turned college head after his father’s death. He was only doing this meeting for reputation sake.

You felt all three eyes fall on you as you chewed the inside of your cheek. It was your story to tell, but you couldn’t help but feel afraid. Like this was a terrible, awful idea. Last time you had tried to get help… against him… they hadn’t believed you. Why would they believe you now? Group A hated your fucking guts, getting you kicked out would benefit them. Oh god, you were going to have to drop out with the way this was going. 

Exhaling sharply, you calm yourself. You just needed to speak, get your side clear. You could face the aftermath later. 

“I was in the kitchen, and uhm, John he pushed me against the island. He was really mad about the Annual Showing or something. He was so drunk I couldn’t really… understand what he was saying.” You start, voice wavering a bit in places as you contemplate your wording. All your brain was screaming was that this was a mistake. They wouldn’t believe you. A small part of you was silently glad that Bucky and Steve were there, that maybe they might back you up.

“What did he say? About the Annual showing?” Stark asked. Your gaze fell to your fingers as you fidgeted. Fuck. You really didn’t want to go over this - relive this. You could feel panic rising, but all you could do was clear your throat and keep pushing through. 

“Just that we - Group B - that we cheated. He thought we cheated, and that's why we won.”

“Cheated how?” Stark asked. You could practically feel Bucky and Steve tensing at that question. Had they overheard what John had implied? You couldn’t help but wonder if they knew because Group A were the ones spreading those rumors. You could imagine Natasha painting her nails, ranting and raving about how you ‘fucked your way’ into the school and to victory.

“Just… I don’t know. He was freaking out. He grabbed my throat, and I tried to fight back, to get free but I-” You voices cracks as heat rushes to your face. You willed yourself not to cry. You really didn’t want to fall apart right in front of them, you wanted to be strong. You had been strong before, you could do it again. You could do this. 

“That’s when Laufeyson punched John. To get him off Y/N.” Bucky cut in, catching your obvious distress. You hold back tears as you clear your throat again. Don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry. 

“I don’t understand how it got to that? Did you say something? Provoke him into grabbing you like that?” Stark asks innocently, but you feel the entire world tilt. You’re stunned into silence, you don’t even notice the way both Bucky and Steve both tense up. An uneasiness grows into a feeling of sickness in your stomach. Provoke him? He was really going to suggest that you had asked for that? That there was something you could’ve done that warranted violence against you? The entire world spins, you have to grab the arm of the chair to steady yourself as you suck in a breath. Provoke him? How could Stark… 

“Excuse me, what?” Steve asks, jaw muscles tight as he assesses Stark with a look of rage. You can’t even process him coming to your defense, you can’t even process the way Bucky looks at you with an expression of concern and horror. You feel as if you might keel over at any moment. Bile rises in your throat, your clothes suddenly feeling two sizes too small. Your hand flies to your neck, pulling the fabric away. You were choking, suffocating. Everything was too close, too loud. It was like him all over again, it was like the police officers who regarded you as just another hysterical woman. You watch as Stark runs a hand over his face with a sigh of exasperation. 

“I’m just- shit that came out wrong. I just don’t understand why he started choking you?” 

"I don't know, maybe because Walker is fucking insane?" Bucky cut in.

You can’t take this, you’re going to throw up, you’re going to scream, sob, anything to let the pain out. All you can hear is him, his fucking voice. ‘Even if you told anyone, do you really think anyone would believe you?’. You can feel his fist, you can see yourself sobbing in the mirror, black bruising across your skin. Before you can even really process it, you’re on your feet and rushing towards the door. Your body doesn’t feel like your own, you’re on autopilot and your instincts say run. You can’t do this, you can’t be here right now. You’re trapped in a fucking memory, one that you had long buried. 

“Jesus, Y/N-” Stark calls after you, but you’ve burst out of the office into the hall. You can hear the rustle of clothes as Bucky tries to follow you.

“Leave her be, Buck.” You hear Steve say softly, pulling Bucky away from following you down the hall. You barely make it to the nearest bathroom before you empty the contents of your stomach into the toilet. 

*

As you had expected, your class had practically swarmed you the moment you entered. Thankful for the cold weather, you had managed to hide most of your bruised neck behind your sweater. After a few moments, everyone got the message pretty quickly that you wanted to be left alone. 

Your dread only grew though, when your professor, Mr. Banner, announced that there was to be a quick meeting. After the incident over the weekend, Banner and Stark wanted to clear the air between Group A and Group B. Your class was practically guarding you like a pack of dogs, glaring at anyone who even dared breathe in your direction. 

Bucky and Steve seemed deep in some conversation with Scott, Clint and Sam. Scott kept glancing your way, worried, you couldn’t find the energy to engage with it. The sound of Clint rattling his drumsticks against a plastic chair was giving you a headache. You had spent about half an hour with your head in the toilet, before you had dragged yourself to class. Numbness had swept over your body, the panic from earlier replaced with a silent acceptance that you were fucked. John hadn’t come to the meeting, Sharon had muttered to you that he had been banned from campus until the situation was dealt with. 

Half curled up in your chair, you rest your chin on your knees as you hug them to your chest. You just wanted today to all be over, to get a break from this place. You still needed to visit Loki in hospital, you had been too upset over the weekend to deal with it. Jane and Thor had done most of the visiting and occasionally checking in on you. You had spent most of the weekend laying into your piano, trying to relieve the stress and upset that had gathered.

“Right, so guys. After, well, recent events-” Banner starts, you roll your eyes. You hated the way everyone danced around the subject. You didn’t know if it was worse referring to it as the ‘incident’ or just putting it plainly. ‘That time when John attempted to choke Y/N to death in a frat house kitchen’. Yeah, maybe that was long. And a fucking undignified death. You didn’t know if you felt angry, sad or afraid anymore. There were too many emotions and thoughts rushing through your head. 

“We want to - well - bring back that family spirit. There’s always been a bit of competition between the two groups, but you guys are supposed to be a family, right? Like we’ve probably encouraged the competition a bit too much-” Banner continues, only for Stark to cut him off. 

“We’re canceling the duet assignment. Instead, we want you guys to do a group project. We don’t care how many are in your group, or if you guys split into pairs. What we want is for the two groups to collaborate. So if there's a group of B’s, you need at least one A in your group and vice-versa. Got it?” A collective groan follows Stark’s words, Clint purposely slumping and falling out of his chair. Scott picks up Clint’s drumsticks and starts drumming on his head as he groans in annoyance.

“Come on guys! It’ll be fun!” Stark says, throwing his hands up. You can only exhale in annoyance, turning your head to stare thoughtlessly at the wall. You ignore the chatter as people excitedly or begrudgingly make plans. You could only wonder if this plan would end in bloodshed, the idea of Group A & B actually getting along was a foreign one. 

“You have two weeks to come up with a cover, or… original. Up to you, just present something!” Banner shouts over the chatter. As if afraid of the wave to come, Stark and Banner quickly abandon the room to leave the group to the organization. 

With a huff, you close your eyes. Head resting sideways on your knees as you try to zone out the conversation. You know that you’d have to eventually uncurl yourself and find yourself a group or a partner. Maybe you could snipe Scott, he was always relaxed and they could just smoke and procrastinate until the night before. You drum your fingers across your thigh at the thought, you could get Sharon in on it too. That would cause the least amount of drama, maybe you could get Peter-

“What do you think, Y/N?” Sharon chirps in your ear, interrupting your thoughts. 

“Huh?” You mumble, looking over to her where she regards you with a look of concern. You were getting a bit tired of those, you’d rather be invisible than pitied at that exact moment. 

“We were saying that later today, we could each do a group or solo performance for both groups. That way everyone knows each other's skills, so if a group has something specific in mind they can go off that? It might be easier than arguing over who is going where.” 

“Sure,” you reply with a sigh, beginning to unfurl yourself from the chair. Didn’t sound like you had much of a choice. “After lunch?” 

“Yup! The others were talking about doing that acoustic cover from our assignment awhile ago? You played the piano, but I’m sure you could do that and vocals-”

“You’re not doing vocals?” You question, cutting her off while reluctantly stretching out your legs.

“I mean, I wanted to do a solo. But if you want to do a solo it’s no biggy. It's about time you got a chance to show off-”

“No. It’s fine. I’ll do the group thing, or whatever.” You reply with a sigh, rubbing your face. Sharon gives a big smile, reaching over to pat your arm. This felt like walking on eggshells. 

“Just take it easy, if it gets too much or anything-” You cut her off.

“It’s fine, really Sharon. I’m just tired. I’ll have a coffee.”

“Okay.” Sharon replies, dropping the topic. In her eyes you can see that she is more concerned than she is letting on. 

CHAPTER 3

[hannieween]

1) awwww how is the sex in the beginning so fluffy but so hot at the same time✋️❤️⁉️

2) WE ARE BEGINNING TO SEE SOME GROWTH AYEEE🫡💗

3) SHE'S ON TOP LESSGOOO🫂💓🛐

4) "Questions," "I want you to have all my cum inside your pretty cunt 'til it's leaking." IM SCREAIMG WITHOUT THE S WUT THE ACTUAL FUCK🗣‼️

5) "Joshua was shirtless, you discovered a second after. The hickeys you made on his skin were on full display, from his Adam's apple to his chest." LESSGOOOOO PHONE SEX

6) oh.... no phone sex..

7) "Even if he rejected your feelings, you'd at least have that: a clear answer." OH MY FUCKING GOD i am massaging my head rn🫠😫🤡

8) "You are a dumbass," Yen told you as soon as you finished telling her all your troubles. "A big dumbass," she scoffed. THANK YOU MISS GURL WHO I FORGOT ABT BUT FOR THIS LINE ITSELF ID EAT HER OUT💪💋‼️

9) "He was busy, he was living a big opportunity. You couldn't burden him with your own little drama". Oof why did that hit hard even tho im never been in a silly little relationship but a silly little guy😨🥹🫣

10) "Only to find him completely asleep, head resting on the couch headrest, mouth parted, chest beginning to rise and fall slower." WAKE UP MOTHERFUCKER😤💀‼️

11) "Because you're–," his frown deepened and he had to take a sharp breath to compose himself. "You're not mine." YES EXACTLY‼️ YOU HAVE GONE PAST THE KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE BRO‼️ YOU FELL STRAIGHT INTO HER PUSSY🗣🗣 NOW PLS DATE AHHHHHHGH

12) "We'll find the right moment" is this suddenly a situationship AHH I CANT TELL WHAT SITUATION THIS EVEN IS AHHHHH🫣🫠‼️

13) "I thought it was hot that they were nearly drooling over you," I CAN DROOL AROUND YOUR DICK 🗣💗

14) "No, you promised you wouldn't do this again, I've had enough. We're talking." THE CLIFFHANGER IS ILLEGAL NOOOOOO 😫 💓‼️

OH MY GOOOOD

oh oh okay here i go:

idk!! even my bf was lowkey impressed haha

YESSS THERE'S SOME 🤏🏻 GROWTH!

for like two minutes but HEYOOOOO READER'S ON TOP!! 🔛🔝

(っ º - º ς)

WE GOTTA WAIT FOR THE PHONE SEX!!! (>ᴗ•)

hehe 👉🏻👈🏻

me too tbh but that's bc i have a splitting headache hahaha

HAHA HOW COULD YOU FORGET ABOUT THE NPCS/j 🤣

i love me some angst it's yummy hehe

HAHAHAH THAT MADE ME LAUGH FR FR

YES!! I'M BEGGING FOR THESE TWO TO START DATING!! maybe they're giving me the headache

i guess we'll find out on the next chapter 😫

OH MY— ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀) i get u i do

TAKE ME TO PRISON

haha i love your reactions sm! i always anticipate your comments on my ask. ily 💟

[theatrekidstatus]

Chapter 11

Y/n pov: -next month- "Y/N" Anthony yelled "YEAH" I yelled back "Let's go we have rehearsals" he informed I mumbled a bunch of stuff none were real words I changed into this

"You look beautiful babe" he compliments "Thank you," I say "Not so bad yourself " I complimented Wee better head out now" he advised "Yeah"

"BABE" Jazzy yelled"WIFEY" I scream back "We're GONNA BE ON BROADWAY" "FAMOUS COUPLE" "LEZZZZ GOOOOOO" "MAN WHAT YOU LOOKING AT US FOR" Jazzy screamed at Ant "Shi my bad" he replied "fuh boy" she calls "yo calm down jazzy" I warn "my bad" she 'apologizes' "now say sorry" I demanded "SORRY ANT" she yells "oh um no prob-" he says before getting cut off "THAT YOUR HAIRLINES RECEDING" she cuts off "there it is" "JASMINE CEPHAS JONES" renèe yells "IM SORRY ANT" she yells we didn't believe her. so we waited [ (; ] "DAMN I SAID SORRY" she yells agitated "I forgive you" he chockes up "coo" she replies "OK LETS GET TO WORK" Lin shouts we head to the stage it was so big (a/n: shut up) ok let's rehearse first song

-2 minutes later-

"when he was ten his father split full of it depth ridden"

-2 hours later- "let's take a break" (RUN AWAY WITH US FOR THE SUMMER LET'S GO UPDATE) "I'm so tired" I tell Ant "Did you eat" he asks "Yeah..." I lie "Are you lying?" "Yeah..." I admit "Eat this apple" he demands "ok..." I eat the apple "Now let's take a nap" he suggests I fell asleep while Ant was scrolling threw insta I wake up to a nudge "Hey, hey, babe wake up" "What happened" I rub my eyes with the bottom of my fist "we gotta rehearse" I yawn and get up "I bet you could sleep forever" renèe "LIN WHAT MY RECORD" he shouts"17 hours" "WHAT THE FUCK" "I was depressed"

-After rehearsal- "SEE YOU TOMORROW GANG" Lin yells "gang?" Jazzy asks with a raised eyebrow "Aren't we a gang" Lin asks "I'd take family" Pippa suggests "DIBS ON MOM" I shout "DIBS ON DAD" Ant shouts "Aw fuck" Lin mumbles "Anyway let's head home" Chris suggests "k" we all say in unison "you wanna stay at my apartment" ant asked "sure" "nice let's go" "but you don't have a car" I bring up "yeah" he tells "uh" "..." "uh let's go I guess" I say

-at apartment-

"Nice place" I compliment "Thanks, lemme get changed"

"Gah damn" I mumble "like what ya see?" He asks with a cocky voice and smiles "Hell yeah" I say flirtatiously. he chuckled and flopped in bed "you coming" he ask "i don't have anything to sleep in" I share "you did that on purpose" "maybeeeee" I joke "go get a t-shirt and boxers" he tells "YA-I mean ok" Anthony chuckled "your cute" "so are you" (imagine how Zendaya SOUNDED and that one interview when Tom holland said she was cute) "uh oh did nervous y/n come back" he ask with a smirk "no shut up" "THAT HURT MY FEELINGS MY WORDS MATTER" "👆🏾" he started fake crying "I'm sorry you big baby" I said while hugging him "it's ok" he faked sobbed i went to get his boxers and shirt "HOW DO I LOOK" "amazing" "ant" I whispered "what" "you're blushing" "oh um sorry um shit god" "JUST KIDDING" "🖕🏼" "I love you too now come here" "what" "I wanna spoon" "ok" we spooned and at 3:00 am we got a call "ughhhhhh" "do I Answer or" "pick Up I guess" "hello" "EW" "what" "it's that Alexa girl" "ew" "bye bitch" he said before hanging up "your funny" "I know" he says before falling back asleep

-next morning-

"WAKE UP" "SHUT UP" he started whimpering (STFU) "I'm sorry" "It's ok" We get ready

"Do you think you can move in those jeans" "yeah" "ok" "let's get donuts" "FUCK YEA" "let's go" we stopped at krispey cream "can I get-" "I WANT THE BEE DONUTS PLEASE" "HOW MANY" "ALL" "a dozen" "ALL" "DOZEN" "ok pull up please" "that will be 2.99 " (I don't know how much donuts cost) "thank you" "I WANTED ALL" I huff "you can have 2" "I DESERVE ALL" "you do but you only getting 2" "ghvghgdh" "sorry babe" it's fine"

-at the theatre-

"how was y'all sleep over" "good but Alexa called ant" "ew" "yeah but ant said 'bye bitch and hung up" "what she say" "um um" "ANTHONY" "huh" "WHAT LEXA SAY LAST NIGHT" "hi freckles" "ok" "YOU LYING" "NO JAZZY DANM" "AIGHT" "anyway I slept in his clothes" "oooooooo" "did y'all...you know" "JAZZY" "what" "it's ok and no we didn't" "OK LISTEN UP WE'RE GONNA BE ON BROADWAY SO THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT SO LETS GET TO WORK" "SIR YES SIR" "har de har" "now get up here" we got up there and didn't get down for 5 hours! I was wobbly and sick "UM LETS TAKE A BREAK" (rUn AwAy WiTh tHe SuMmEr LeTs Go UpStAtE) "You good pinky pie" "Shut up dude" "I'm Sirius" "Yeah...I'm im" then it went black. I hear loud sirens "Huh what happened" "Y/N" Ant and Lin yelled while they tried to jump in they only let Lin in and said "Sir your gonna have to meet her at the hospital I just saw angry tears flow down his face "L-Lin" "yeah" "what happened" "you fainted and we're out for 2hours" "it took y'all 2hours to call the ambulance" "IT TOOK THEM 2HOURS TO COME" "Lin shut up because if they throw us out on the streets what then" he chuckled we get there I got checked out they gave me pills and a chart on how much I should eat for each meal

-after rehearsals and at home-

"Hard day" "It was ok" (bars) "Let's eat" "I'm not really-" I was cut off by an intense stare given by Lin "I'll eat" "Good don't stuff or overeat"

-on broadway- "WOO OPENING NIGHT LETS GO HOW WE FEELING" "SCARED" "AND" "EXITED" "THATS WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR" "ok 45 minutes till places" "you nervous John" "No, I'm terrified" "don't be you did good off broadway" "just think of it as a bigger stage that's all it is" "just a bigger stage" he mumbled "exactly know get dressed" "I got-dressed" "ok" "oooooo updated costume?" "Yeah you should see my Phillip one" "Can't wait" "Is your mom here tonight" "Yeah she saved a seat for you and everything" Thanks babe I go find ant mom she waved me over and I sat with her and chatted about ant as a kid "oh he was so cute did you know he dimples on his butt" "no," I say giggling but not letting out the laugh I want "oh yeah he was cute the you know the baseball Super Bowl thing (I don't know what it's called or if it's even a thing😭😭) "yeah" "he loved it as kid he once pissed his pants not to miss it" "oh really" I say holding back I laugh "oh it's starting"

-After the show- "Can you show walk me backstage" "Of course" "HI BABE YOU DID SO GOOD" "THANKS babe, did you like meeting my mom" "Yep dimples" "Dim-?"He was caught off by embarrassment he went pale then red "Honey are you okay" "sí Mama que tu hablar como y/n" "You as a Child" "OK gracias" "No problema" "DONT worry I think it's cute" I say while kissing his cheek

[sukacheri]

little writing update on the next part of hinakasa secret relationship series because!! idk!! i wanna share an update and i feel like im finally getting somewhere with it

so the next fic in the series is planned to actually be chaptered, albeit only 3 chapters.

the reason why this one is split into chapters is because each chapter will be one month: October, November, December. well, the first chapter is technically about half of October since it takes place after the previous fic which went into October.

my initial hope was to post each chapter at the start of the month but i've been moving a bit too slowly for that, and i definitely want to have everything written before i post the first chapter since i don't want to box myself in. at the very least, i want to have the first two chapters written before i post the first one

my worst case scenario is that the first chapter will be published in november, but that just means you guys will get the first two chapters closer together

going into it I was guessing each one would be about 5k words, or at least average out to that. I'm about 3/4 done the first chapter and it's just over 5k, so it looks like I guessed about right for once lol. the second chapter is where im most ehhh on because i dont have the most detailed outline for that one but i do have a general idea so. praying. this is why i want to have the second one written before posting anything in case i need to change anything overall

for the few people who like hinakasa and are looking forward to this... i hope this update tides you over!!! and well here's a very small snippet as a treat for reading this :) (and sorry its so small there really isnt an easy place to pull a snippet from because theres so much context to everything and i also need to edit still jknfgjknf)

--

"Hey Tsukasa-kun, you totally startled me! Haven’t you heard to never sneak up on someone while they’re pulling weeds? It could give the weeds a chance to fight back.” Hinata grinned, flashing all his teeth in the brightest smile he could muster. He wasn’t even trying to prove anything, he just wanted to exude as much passive aggressiveness as he could muster. Yuuta was much better at this.

“Ah, really? I apologize I’ve never heard of such a thing, so I have no doubt you are lying of course. I’ve heard all about your tendency for pranks from my classmates.” Tsukasa matched his smile with a sickeningly polite one of his own. 

“Hmph, is that so?” Hinata tore his face away, going back to picking at weeds. He should try throwing one. What a childish thought. But, oh, he wanted to throw it right in Tsukasa’s face.

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖      

Chapter 14 - Subtle Invitations. Episode 2.

Congo: *It was late in the night, way past 2 am, everyone had passed the point of tipsy and the mood was higher than it had been the past 5 months. We were all gathered around a big bonfire I had made with the help of Blake and Daniel. Jenna had left about an hour ago alongside George that had offered her a ride home, as he was the only one still sober. But everybody else was still here, some more drunk than others. Among them my dear husband. The conversation between him and Daniel had reached the point of perversion. And Andy was claiming he were more horny than ever. Not that that's anything new coming from his mouth, so I normally take it lightly. The conversation seemed to take another turn when Andy suddenly jumped up from where he were sitting in the grass.*

Andy: *He grabbed a can of Coke, shook it violently and proclaimed out loud, so everyone was sure to hear it* I'm so fucking horny I get wet in my pants just by thinking of Gizmo's ass, and let's face it, he aint got any! But man I would love to just… *he Placed the coke between his legs, he popped it open, thrust his groin forwards twice and made the Coke splurt out, making it look like him cumming*

Sparkle: *Sent a high pitch laughter over the garden and slapped her thighs* OMG! 'Im gonna piss myself!! Gaby: *She chuckled softly* that's not nice

Gizmo: *Laughed warmly* Well it's true! I don#t have an ass. Or at least the one I have is pretty flat. *He made a cheering gesture with his beer towards Andy* Aaaii! Cheers man! And thanks for the compliment.

Andy: *Chuckled hoarse* Sure man! Cheers!

Congo: *I chuckled softly, my work was done, and now I had to take care of the drunken teenager I had created in the process. As I sipped my beer I couldn't help but notice Evan. He was very quiet, more than usual. Plucking grass with his hands while Seemingly annoyed by the conversation, trying his best to focus on something else. I wondered if I should drag him away a bit and ask him what was up, but before I could make my way to him, I noticed Blake move from his position between Sparkle and Gaby, and make his way over to sit beside Andy. He leaned close to him, and said something in a lowered voice. I couldn't make out the words, but judging by Andy's following lip biting, I'm pretty sure a sexual offer was made. In a split second I saw Evan fly up from his spot, and in 3 large steps he reached Andy, and dragged him up by the arm, dragging him along, quickly disappearing somewhere in the shadows of the big trees.*

Blake: *Looked after them a bit puzzled*

River: *Looked a bit questioning at me, but as I shook my head lightly, he quickly grabbed a guitar and started playing softly* Is there anyone here around the fire that can sing? *he looked particularly at Sparkle, clearly already aware of the fact that the girl has a great song voice.*

Sparkle: *Blushed lightly* I guess I can sing… yes?

River: *Smiled softly, and it was undeniable he was beautiful with his blue eyes and his long silky blonde hair, swept to the side. Gentle almost feminine features, although I wasn't much for the tattoos creeping up his throat, or the overload of piercings in his ears* Do you by any chance know this one? *He started playing a melody that quickly made Sparkle smile and nod eagerly, clearly already knowing her taste in music as well, and within a few seconds, they both started singing:* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hOdfTMu4RY

-------Andy's point of view--------

Andy: *My heart raced as Evan pushed me roughly up against the wall of the house* Hey! What the fuck man?! I rubbed my back head gently as the pain of connecting with the wall stung like a bee* Watch it! I fucking hit my head now! What has gotten into you tonight?!

Evan: *His eyes looked borderline angry* Is that supposed to be a joke?

Andy: *I had absolutely no clue what had gotten into him* What the fuck are you on?!

Evan: *He scoffed and pointed in the direction of the fire where we could vaguely hear Sparkle and someone I expected to be River, sing.* You get an offer from Blake, and then you are already all over him?

Andy: *Alright I had no fucking clue what this was about, but it was clearly not Blake. Yes he had made me an offer, and although It was very tempting, looking into his honey coloured eyes, and his half long dark brown hair was definitely something I would like to dig my fingers into. Not to mention his trash polka tattoo covered arms and upper body, leaving my mind wondering just how far down those tattoos would reach?… DAMMIT Andy! Concentrate!*

Evan: *Slammed a fist into the wall* You are fucking thinking about him right now! Aren't you?!

Andy: *I was shocked by his behaviour. In front of me stood the guy that hated violence more than anything, using violence against me. Well, against the wall, but close enough to my face!* What the fuck is wrong with you man?!

Evan: *His voice reached the point of yelling* What the fuck is wrong with me?! What's wrong with YOU?! You have absolutely no problem fucking some guy you have only met twice! But… *His eyes were no longer angry, but filled with something that in the pale moon shine looked unmistakeably like despair.*

Andy: *Oh… so that's what this was about? I grabbed his hands gently and kissed both of them, and in the same way be able to check if his right hand was okay after colliding with the wall. It was. The knuckles a bit red, but no visible blood at least. I sighed softly* Evan… it's not like that… I have…

Evan: *His upper body sank forwards and as his forehead landed on my shoulder I quickly wrapped my arms around him* I know Andy *he sighed deeply* I'm sorry… I just…. I want you so much! *His nails digging hard into my hips as he dragged my lower body closer to his so I could feel his boner, only confirmed his hunger for me.*

Andy: I know… *my voice was already husky and deep. I wanted him too. Oh fuck I wanted him more than anyone can imagine. However, mentally I wasn't ready, and I had explained this to him a couple of times. My first time was…. complicated…. don't get me wrong. The sex was amazing. But the aftermath was complicated at it's best. I have never regret it, only the person I was with. I don't want Evan ending up in the same position. I want him to be more than sure this is what he really wants. With me. So he is sure to never regret it. An experience like that is bound to forever open or close a certain door. If he likes it, it only opens the door completely that we are already peeking through. And as much as I love him, and feel secure in his love to me, I'm not sure he is yet ready to fully admit to him being in a gay relationship. Which he would be forced to admitting, once he opened up to being the receiver, and not only the giver. On the other hand, if he doesn't like it, it closes any sexual relations in that department for good. Which I have to say I would be sad about, cause… well… if you had seen that ass of his, you would understand. It would be a lie to say it is easy saying no to him. Trust me, it's one of the hardest things I have had to do yet. I sighed softly* But Evan… I…

Evan: *He shook his head softly, still leaning his forehead against my shoulder* For once, couldn't you just be my asshole friend who bangs everyone that offers themselves?

Andy: *I chuckled softly* Hey… I don't bang the chicks any longer…

Evan: *He sighed softly and I could hear a soft chuckle build from somewhere deep inside of him*

Andy: *I kissed his hair gently* Look, it's not gonna be like this forever… we will walk down this road soon… but I also really want it to be something special when we finally do it… not just lusting like when A and I….

Evan: *He nodded softly* I know, and I agree fully… it's just… damn it's hard by now, and I can't even believe I'm standing here admitting that. I just… I want you so bad!… inside me…. you know…

Andy: *I bit my lover lip hard, afraid I was going to scream. This was pure torture! The man I love deeply, and by god he is fucking sexy on top of that, was telling me, he wants me inside him… FUCK!!! It's safe to say if I didn't already have a boner before those words, I sure had one now! And he noticed pretty quickly too.*

Evan: *His hands started fumbling quickly, trying to unbutton my pants, his lips quickly finding their way to mine, moaning as he let his tongue slide into my mouth, kissing me passionately, like there were no tomorrow*

Andy: *A snap from a dry twig on the ground made a quick interruption in our make-out session, and as we turned our heads, we saw Sparkle standing and looking at us surprised and baffled, and in a split second she turned around, behind her Blake appeared, but before he could get to see Evan and I, she quickly placed her hands on his cheeks and dragged his head down, French kissing him deeply I coughed lightly and made a sign to Evan to run off, he didn't argue with that and quickly disappeared behind some trees. I cleared my throat and lit a cig, chuckling hoarse as I casually blew out the smoke* Eyyy… get a room you two!

Sparkle: *She giggled softly and took a few steps back* Sorry about that Blake, I thought you were someone else…

Blake: *He bit his lips softly, and I didn't particular like the way he looked at her, like she was suddenly on the menu* That's alright… maybe I can pretend to be that guy for the night?

Andy: *I rolled my eyes, that had to be the lamest comeback I had heard… ever!* Blake! Hands off!

Blake: *Shook his head softly and smirked* Who made you the pussy police?

Sparkle: *It was clear to see his comment hurt her, and she had been through enough the past year, she didn't need a shitty comment like that to make an already touchy matter worse!*

Daniel: *His voice was firm and deep as it thundered in the shadows behind Blake* I did!

Blake: *I observed him turn around slowly, and before he could get to react, a fist hit him right in his face, making him take two steps backwards and grunt from pain*

Daniel: *His voice was ice cold, and it managed to even make me scared of the last guy I would ever be scared of… well, after Congo that is* Don't ever speak to her that way again, or I swear I will break your face.

Blake: *Pinched the back of his nose between two fingers as the blood started gushing out* I'm sorry man! I was only kidding! I didn't mean it like that, the words just came out wrong. I'm fucking drunk man! *He sighed from pain and frowned*

Daniel: *Nodded at Sparkle* Tell it to the girl, not me.

Blake: *He sighed again, and I couldn't help but sigh with him and hope that nose wasn't broken* I'm sorry Sparkle, it was a bad choice of words… I really don't see you like that, alright?

Sparkle: *She shrugged a bit* That's alright… *But I knew it wasn't, so I took a few steps forwards and lifted her up, just as her lip started quivering and the tears started falling, and I quickly carried her to the front of the house, judging by the quick footsteps behind me, Daniel was following. As I put her feet on the ground again she sniffled her nose and dried her eyes* Thanks Andy. *She placed her hands on my cheeks and kissed my nose softly* Is it okay if I just wanna go home now? The night pretty much ended for me there… but I had fun, don't worry. Maybe we can get together one of the next days? *She smiled softly and tilted her head a bit*

Andy: *I nodded softly* Sure… let's do something soon. But please don't thank me… thank YOU. You kinda saved Evan back there, and I know it means the world to him.. so thank you for that. *I sighed softly* Sorry about Blake… I don't think he's a bad guy or anything…

Daniel: *Scoffed irritated* No, he isn't… he just sometimes doesn't know how to act.

Andy: *I chuckled hoarse* Coming from you…

Sparkle: *Giggled softly, and it was nice to see her smile again* You two…

Daniel: *Chuckled softly* So… can I take the princess home or?

Sparkle: *She looked at him surprised* Are you coming with me?

Daniel: *Chuckled softly* No… but you are coming with me! *He grabbed her waist and in a strong movement threw her over his left shoulder, giving her ass a few gentle slaps* You can sleep in Evan's room. There is no cabs this late out here, and I'm way too drunk to give you a ride… so Evan's bed it is! *He looked at me and winked* Get back to your man, I got this! Just as he was about to leave with drunk Sparkle giggling on his shoulder, Congo showed up*

Congo: *Shook some bloody paper towels in his hand* Right, so.. luckily no broken bones. Anyone here in the need of a medic? *He sighed softly and shook his head* Is it too much to ask of you guys to talk more and use fists less? *He walked to Sparkles head end, planting a soft kiss on her cheek* Goodnight sugar, let Daniel take care of you. *He stroked her hair a few time as he smiled softly at Daniel* Get her home safe.

Daniel: *Nodded agreeing, and made a military stand* Roger that! We will be next door though, not Casa Sparkle.

Congo: *Chuckled softly and slapped Daniels ass* Well, giddy up horsy! Let me have a bit of alone time with my boy. *He chuckled warmly as Daniel made a few horse sounds and ran off with Sparkle, then he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and dragged me closer so he could kiss my forehead* I'm glad it for once wasn't you doing the punching.

Andy: *I smiled softly and nodded* I'm doing better yeah… how's Blake?

Congo: He could be better… he could be worse. I'm pretty sure he will end up blue and black tomorrow.

Andy: *I sighed softly* Well, he wasn't entirely innocent.

Congo: *Nodded gently, and planted another kiss on my forehead* Evan is in bed, I wrapped some frozen peas around his hand, it should feel better in the morning.

Andy:* I looked up at his warm face, and couldn't help but smile* Thank you.

Congo: *He smiled even warmer and kissed the tip of my nose* What are you thinking?

Andy: *I couldn't help but smile even more* You… how wonderful you always are… to everybody, not only me. *It was true. The man was the most warm-hearted helpful being I had ever come across. How was it possible not to love this man? And I once again felt more than grateful that I was the one who got to call him my husband.*

[sopebubbles]

hello there! before i start with my ramblings, may i know what to call you? your username is sopebubbles and i love sope and bubbles!! but what do i call you ? i’m sorry if i missed any ask that have mentioned your name, but i really don’t know what to call you other than author-nim 😭 so im so sorry!

— btw i just finished my final papers. my days were hectic with studies and revisioned with these killer subjects that literally killing me, but i managed to pull it off and end it well sighhhhhh. i’m 22 yet im still taking exams. (never quit learning btw, it’s good to stimulate your brain-) anywayyyy, that’s why now i have some times to come back to tumblr and have my precious time delulu-ing away with my favourite fics updates!!

imagine my surprise that i saw two chapter updated 😭😭 omg it was heavenly surprised!!!

actually it took me few weeks to collect myself, my thoughts, my spirits, to talk (sending ask) to you here. now i’m good to discuss this eheks :3 i hope that you don’t mind with me being so handful and asks lots of questions sometimes 😔 ㅋㅋㅋ

emm,to start, i wonder if yn ever will ever share her sad background story with the pack as now she’s one of the pack and yoongi’s mate. with how privileged life that most members in the pack grew up with, unlike yoongi and jimin and maybe taehyung too. so i wonder if she will ever tell them and maybe in future it might be a solid reasons to the pack to protect her. as in in chapter 12 where namjoon feels threatened by yn that she might stole the spot or something. i feel like they need to know how horrible she was treated before, you know my little heart sometimes cannot handle this injustice feeling - however i understand why namjoon felt that too. yet still — shhshshs

for taehyung and jungkook, what is their position in the pack? i mean jimin close with yoongi obviously. seokjin and hobi are married, namjoon being seokjin right hand man. so where does these left jungkook and taehyung? are they like just there in the pack like a family or they are lovers too with others? sorry if this sounds stupid but i am stupid so it’s not surprising. shshshs

anyway anyhow by the way, i cheer for your upcoming stories! rest well and don’t get hurt!!

-🫧

🙋🏻‍♀️hiiiii! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad to hear you got through your exams. I absolutely do not miss those days! Learning is fun but taking tests is not! I'm grateful you made time to read my little story.

As for what to call me, i guess you can call me maddie! Although author-nim gives me a nice warm feeling 🥰

She will definitely tell them, although it probably won't be all at once. She will reveal some to just Yoongi in the next chapter though! They will all come to understand her and love her better eventually.

They are lovers too!! Jungkook was the third to join. For a year or two or was just Jin, Hobi and Jungkook. Then Jungkook and Jin kept bringing home strays 🤭 Jin brought Namjoon and Jungkook brought Taehyung not too long after. Jungkook has a very central role in the pack, though they all do in their own way. He's kind of close with everyone. Taehyung is closest with Hobi, Jimin and Jungkook, although Yoongi and Jin give him a lot of respect and trust, leaving him to protect their omega(s) all day long. When it comes to Jimin, they're very silly but very close and really understand each other. Low key if the pack had split, Tae might have asked to go with Jimin.

You're not stupid at all!! You've done so well with school and i hope you have some time to relax! Thank you for your questions, they're never a bother 💜

[error404vnotfound]

la flor y la muerte rant review because what was this plot structure

guys I was actually excited about this one im so sad

this book has no business being 640 pages with not one, but TWO time skips. the first one is 6 months, the second one FIVE YEARS

this should have been split into 3 books of their own so we could get properly fleshed out characters *and* relationships, because you keep telling me you are friends with this person or that you are in love with this other one and like ????? i mean I'll have to buy it, even if you haven't spoken on page to the first one and has had a single conversation with the other one

also no one bought into the enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to lovers, because I don't know this people. I can't feel sorry for them or their relationship. I do not believe they haven't gotten over the other in five years after the 5? conversations they had. like 🧍

the only relationship I liked was asha and aden, even if their friendship gets obscured by their own love interests

back to the plot structure because what the hell was going on. so.

besties start studying into this highly demanding academy to become the leaders of their world when they graduate (which takes 3 years) and then there's this trial 6 months after they begin to... actually I have no idea what the trial was for apart from getting points(? but then that doesnt matter anyways because we don't know anything about the other teams anyways?

but that was not my first point. my first point was that these six months they are training and like getting together as a group and bonding to gO OUT INTO A CAPTURE THE FLAG NO RULES IN OUTTER SPACE just get skipped. we get the first like 3 days of class and then 6 months have passed we are all besties now. hello ????? girl it's the first time this character's name is on page and you are telling me you trust this person with your LIFE in OUTTER SPACE ?????

I wanted those six months. I wanted to see them get close to each other, and the group dynamics, and how they trained. but nope. 6 months later we are leaving to go into this trial where everyone else is going to try to kill our group because we are the best team. and like. there's no tension at all???? you know one of the group is going to die but it's probably one of the characters that hasn't really talked yet so who cares. (not me)

the trial was okay I guess. it was there. some convos with the main couples which I also don't care about so. okay

(they win the trial ofc) (not that it matters at all)

then they go in ONE mission. a couple gets together (good for them I guess) (this mission lasts three months apparently but we get like 2 chapters for each pov character and that all happens like the first week they are there) then they go back home and there's a party! and for plot reasons I'm too tired to explain half the group has to run away into space because they are wanted traitors now (two characters decide to join the actual traitors for reasons. idk I don't know these people I can't even remember who is who)

but yeah now it's 5 years later and the couple that's not together is so fucking annoying. it's been 5 years superalo tía. anyways they all meet again, they overthrow a government with the help of some rebels, the end (this is about 150 pages long and I kid you not 70% it's the other couple getting together) (they succeed in overthrowing the gov and like good for them but also? kinda easy???? it doesn't feel earned. we know nothing of the rebels they are now working with. I'm just 🧍🧍🧍)

so yeah, it wasnt good

[slyfire]

FE: Engage - Chapter 10 + 11

double trouble.

Alear & Lapis C

Céline & Lapis C Besties? besties Both her and her brother becoming friends w/ Brodia's royal retainers.

trying to train framme. got jade twice. framme cannot deal damage to her. 🙄

i got a fucking fog of was skirmish  😭 

Amber & Chloé C

First class change! Framme into martial master.

Framme & Boucheron B Three Houses: The Novel

another skirmish.

Alfred & Amber B Suprotein.

one last skirmish.

okay, Alear & Alfred are now promoted. and yes, I am one of those players that almost always gets to level 20 before promo. only game i didn't bother was birthright.

bigger flower crown. bigger flower crown.

okay, let's do this chapter.

oh god, marth's giving us a warning. oh, a series of battles... I should be fine in terms of equipment. I'll just keep a save before I enter.

hmmm, poking my memory. I think the ring Goldmary's giving is the byleth ring? that means dance shenanigans probably ahead.

Oh, Alear's model changed. I wasn't expecting the change outside of combat...though I guess this isn't new.

"It'll be alright." okay we are doomed.

trailer line!

"I'll hope you'll always stay with us." / "We're not going anywhere." oh god, we're about to see red!marth, aren't we.

Hyacinth's model...it looks kinda off

sheesh morion...another FE dad gone. TBH i couldn't really like him, so i'm not too shaken up.

[BATTLE START]

We gotta let him die...like a true knight.

that new alfred crit animation...beautiful.

that alcryst battle dialogue with Morion...ouch.

not alear bringing up the dual...

strong of body...strong of heart.

somehow citrinne survived a lyn engage attack.

[POST BATTLE]

...that map wasn't that bad. I assume the hard part is next up.

okay, that's totally veyle

all the godamn monarchs are dying now. now I worry for Éve. Also i like that alfred/diamant would have also worked to be eaten, but gotta have the '''shock''' betrayal.

aaaaaaand there it is. but she has red eyes.

without the hood, she does not look intimidating.

okay, yeah. Sombron's 100% Alear's dad. though maybe alear & veyle could be half siblings?

split memory?

Griss & Marni are the best.

Sombron talking animation 💀

marth </3

wait fuck we won't be able to engage this map 💀💀

oh boy, an escape map.

Veyle has a personal skill it seems...but i'm not going anywhere near her.

actully thinking about it...veyle's split personality (?) could explain Alear's red past.

[BATTLE START]

THEY DIDN'T REMOVE THE DLC EMBLEMS IM DYING

godamn it, she takes the ring after.

hiii ivy. hiii kagetsu.

Lyn & Lucina!

stop 💀

they replaced my Tiki emblem i had on alear 😭😭

map finished...that wasn't that bad?

(alcryst was kinda right though)

"The emblem aren't dead." Sigurd:

Marth really was more like Alear's mother then Lumera was.

to Solm!

[librarianwithlove]

All Good People Here by Ashley Flowers - Review

since i have no followers but I have books that I want to talk about, this seems like a great place to do it. i have a personal book account but i feel weird making people i know read my (not complete or thought out) thoughts and i hate proper grammar when im getting my feelings out

My rating- 4/7

it has been weeks since i read it so pieces are missing from my brain already but anyway

I WILL BE PUTTING SPOILERS BELOW HERE

overall, i really liked the book. i was really keeping my expectations low because while ashley can tell a great story on a podcast, i wasn't sure that would transfer over to her book. i also really enjoy her podcast, and i didn't want a negative review of the book to alter my opinion of that.

anyway, like i said, i truly enjoyed the book. I feel like there was a lot of good material that kept you guessing and while at some points I feel like there was almost too much going on, it didn't overwhelm me. i'm not sure if it was just me but I do feel like there were moments it became harder to follow, especially when new characters were introduced. I will admit that part of that is my fault because I have a tendency to read 5 books at once, a few chapters at a time.

things i really liked

pete. i feel like he was just a feel good character and ashley made you want to like him and root for him. i really liked him in the background and if theres a sequel or spinoff or anything i just hope its about him because he just reads like a warm hug.

jodie and krissy. listen this came out of nowhere and i absolutely love it. as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, i feel consumed by straight literature. this nice little surprise representation was a welcome slap in the face and i liked how it was done too. there was no sugarcoating & it just felt like a run of the mill affair, not like a run of the mill GAY affair

how realistic it had the ability to feel. i knew reading this it was a fiction story, but i felt it was really easy to let yourself forget that and think it was a true story. so many aspects are incredibly realistic, from the town's treatment of the family, to the police response, to krissy covering for jace. maybe im so used to ashleys storytelling that it read that way for me, but it evoked a lot of feeling that I often get when im listening to crime junkie

that it was written by ashley flowers!!!! i have been listening to crime junkie for at least 3 or 4 years and love the show so much. i havent been able to find a podcast i enjoy quite as much and so reading her book felt like reading something from an old friend. im glad she was able to do this for herself, im really in awe of what she has done over the years.

there are two things that negatively altered my opinion of the book.

the way she treated luke. I know that she was so consumed with solving the case that she pushed everything else to the side to make it her priority but i cant get past her willingness to leave him alone for extended periods of time. it bothered me that she simply forgot about him after stating many times that he was essentially her father growing up. I just cant imagine being so ok leaving him behind for a case she didnt know she could solve

THE ENDING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is ashley just leaving it open for a potential sequel? this brings me back to point one. what is happening with luke now? like is he ok? is billy gonna up and murder him too?? i also dont know what piece im missing, again could be me putting pieces in the wrong places, but what is so monumental about january having her blanket that made margot put together the pieces that it was billy? i know it was her special blanket and she held it when she was scared and he gave it to her but how does that implicate him and not anyone else? who is to say that "elephant wallace" didnt see her with it previously & know to give it to her? i dont know what im missing but it just didn't make sense to me that in a split second it all clicked. and also that he had to go and kill her next.

questions that remain about this book:

do we actually know the real killer

i still think luke it sketchy with the "shes asking too many questions about january" thing, something isnt right. how is luke involved?

is jodie okay? doesn't billy know they are in kahoots?

who is going to look for margot? (pete pls)

???? what was the ending here ?????

the police have to put 2 and 2 together now that another dead body is about to show up in billy jacobs basement, right?

[mejomonster]

So im still in chapter 12 of ff7 rebirth but. Still WILD to me that the plot the game has had so far is at least 50% my "happier outcome headcanon" i had after playing crisis core YEARS AGO. Now, i never wrote it down, just fanfic in my head basically. But hear me out

My idea of a happier outcome headcanon: post advent children, aerith and zack meet in lifestream. They also meet sephiroth kind of (in that 3 person split thing), but sephiroth is also of course possessing cloud forever advent children and beyond. The planet decides it wants to be saved from humans, and aerith is Kinda OP now, so the planet figures she has sephiroth under control (she has kadaj etc under control), so the planet "brings to life" aerith and zack and sephiroth and puts them in the past around FF7 original time. Kind of how in ff13 the la cie change people to do their bidding, only this ff7 planet is using the dead people in the lifestream. Aerith somewhat or totally knows qhat happened, but planet may want humans Dead and shes not quite up to fulfilling that. Zack hands down thinks they have to resist the planets wishes and come up with a new option. Sephiroth goes off the rails. 1 because he was only half cooperative to begin with and he can use cloud to stay alive in a way aerith and cloud couldnt without the planet 2 hes not sure if he wants to kill humans cause sure he Would but he doesnt wanna help the planet, and hes got his own agenda he fucks off to to do. Zack trails him trying to stop him. Aerith joins ff7 original plot group and pretends she doesnt know the future and intends to change things. What she'll do? Not sure yet. But all the major players are alive, so theres hope it could turb out better this time.

The actual Ff7 remake and rebirth: remake, aerith has memories of another timeline (check), sephiroth also seems to have memories of another timeline (check), zack is alive and in present ff7 timeline (half check, he doesnt die then come back like my planned plot). Rebirth, im not sure if theres one or two sephiroths as in a present and future one or just a future knowing one, but he does seem to have a bit more goals and knowledge than ff7 originals plot (half check). Zack is alive, in present time but a Parallel Timeline and is trying to stop sephiroth (half check). Other people who died are Alive in a parallel timeline or dead in a parallel timeline like Biggs (half check, i was right about timelines and people alive but wrong about which characters). Theres a few characters alive in both timelines, cloud and aerith for sure and Potentially sephiroth too (half check, i guessed multiple characters in one timeline so i was right about time stuff but didnt expect 2 parallel stories). I predict its possible sephiroth is going between both parallel timelines, and if so id give myself another half check for guessing sephiroth has some New knowledge and new goals.

I think so far my personal headcanon was decent to the new games though... so far, i was right on time travel, aerith knowing the future for a while, and zack being alive. Things ive always had in my headcanon of a happier potential post advent children but not something i ever thought canon would Actually Do. But with nomura... and kh plots i was raised with, i guess i shouldve expected my hoped for headcanons to turn out somewhat happening. I still have to see how it continues.

Did anyone else have an indulgent headcanon or plot u actually expected for sequels for ff7, that landed close to the actual ff7 remake games?