#guess all the cowboy stuff going around is getting to me

[yorshie]

Arthur gets back up. He always gets back up. With a roll of muscle to ease a twitched shoulder, he once more finds his feet. Dutch never told him to, but Arthur can see the slight curl of his lips in silent approval, knows it’s what’s expected of him.

And as he got older, got better at killin’ men, his steps got heavier, that roll of his shoulder an ingrained habitual soothe instead of a flex of twinging muscles, he quit getting knocked down as much. Men that once towered over him he now met on equal footing, his knuckles calloused over until there was no more pain or feeling in the joints.

Dutch’s approval was never voiced. But Arthur knew he was no longer pleasantly surprised when Arthur got back up. It was expected as sure as the sun rising each day. Arthur rarely lost his footing, but if he did falter, he got back up.

Until the mountain. Until Dutch forgot Arthur was only a man, and he knocked his son down.

Arthur didn’t get back up.

[zae-heeyyy]

Valor

Summary: Arthur takes you on one of his adventures. Pairing: Arthur Morgan x female!Reader Word Count: 1,760 Trigger Warning: Animal attack, angry-ish Arthur, violence Tags: mid- high honor Arthur, damsel in destress, fluff, and angst

a/n: Hey y'all! It's been a while since I posted because life is crazy right now. This is a request from @littlemistey. I'm paraphrasing from our convo, "Arthur x reader where the reader is saved by Arthur from almost being mauled by a cougar or a pack of wolves." Sketches are copied/cut from Arthur's journal. A classic "Arthur Morgan, please save me" trope. Thanks for reading!

Valor: Great courage in the face of danger, especially in battle. It denotes bravery and heroism, particularly in challenging or risky situations.

The bones in your wrists ached with the numbing weight of boredom as another morning of chores lumbered on. In, around, under, off. In, around, under, off. In, around, under, off. Intertwined pieces of yarn grew longer at your feet as the knitting cadence played in your head. You'd zoned out, daydreaming of anything more exciting than this.

A rhythmic clank of guns on a belt alerted you to your approaching burly cowboy.

You would've been glad to see him any other time, but your contempt for your chores and an odd hat on his head made you groan with irritation. A lit cigarette sat snug between his lips as he talked, muffling his speech.

"Why you sittin' here with your lip stuck out?" he asked, adjusting his belt and sitting beside you on a wooden crate. He tossed the cigarette away, leaned over to kiss the temple of your head, and placed a hand on the small of your back.

"Bored outta my mind," you complained. The sun reflected off a shiny decorative piece on his hat, making you squint. "And why are you wearing that stupid hat?"

"What?" he opened his hands out questioningly with a goofy grin stretched across his face. "A man keeps this camp afloat, and he can't even wear a nice hat without his lady callin' it stupid."  

You rolled your eyes and gestured to all the women in the camp, cleaning tables and guns, sewing, and helping with dinner.

"No, we keep this camp afloat while you men are out doing god knows what," you said, your stitches getting sloppier as your vexation grew. "I'm losing my mind here. Meanwhile, you come back with fancy trinkets, weird statues, emeralds, and crazy hats! You know, I think you do the robbing and hunting only sometimes, and when that's done, you're just out there playing around!"

You finally stopped knitting and turned to Arthur, whose playful grin had faltered into a thoughtful glance. You continued your monologue, "Ugh! I swear, if you don't get me outta here, I'm gonna stab Grimshaw through the eye with this needle!"

You held the sharp point inches away from Arthur's face, prompting him to snatch it from you. "Alright, easy there." He grabbed your hand in two of his gloved ones and glanced at it from under the brim of his hat, thinking for a long moment, "Fine, you can come with me long as nobody gets stabbed. Can't have a degenerate murderer loose in this camp, now, can we?"

Ignoring his sarcasm, you squealed excitedly and jumped up from your spot, pulling on Arthur's arm to make him stand, too.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," you said between the many kisses you laid on him. He stilled you with firm hands on your waist and chuckled.

"I reckon it won't be as exciting as you think, but I can't say no to you."

Within a few minutes, you were ready to go, aiming and checking the ammo on a varmint rifle that Arthur had given you.

"Met a strange feller, Algernon Wasp. He's a— he has— well, he— he's an artist, I guess; he's paying me to collect some stuff for his, uh, creations. Bird feathers, orchids, that kind of stuff. Would be faster with the two of us."

And that's how you found yourself in the swamps of Lemoyne with the varmint rifle slung over your shoulder as you swatted away mosquitoes and sweated your ass off. You were hot, thirsty, and worst of all, you'd only found four of the seven cigar orchids you needed.

Mud squelched under your feet as you followed behind Arthur; you spoke exasperatedly, "how much is this fool paying you for all this?"

Arthur had gone quieter as you'd gotten more frustrated over the hours. Both of you were starting to regret this decision.

"I don't know. Money is money," he said dismissively, his head on a swivel and eyes focused. You were bothered that he could so easily spot plants and always knew which direction to go, expecting you to keep pace with his long strides when mud weighed down your skirts, slowing you down. You knew it was irrational, but you were mad at him for dragging you out here despite your near begging.

The heat was getting to you, and you'd lost control of the filter from your brain to your mouth. Arthur was a few feet ahead when you started your mumbling, "goddamn swamps is no place for a lady. Gators, mud, bugs and—" You didn't get to finish your sentence before Arthur spun and made two giant steps toward you, jaw clenched.

"You got something to say?"

You crossed your arms, defiant. Arthur's reputation as a vicious intimidator didn't phase you, though. He wouldn't lay a finger on you; you both knew it. You rolled your eyes and said, "this is as boring as being back at camp, except I'm all dirty now."

He stepped closer into your space, his angry eyes searching yours. He spoke in a low volume that would scare anybody but you: "This is what you wanted, woman, so don't go gettin' mad at me because things ain't all neat and proper."

Were you frightened by him? No. Were your feelings hurt? Yes. You scoffed and nodded slowly while you spoke, "You're right. I'm gonna head to camp. I'll see you when you get back."

You didn't give him the chance to respond before you trudged in the other direction, clicking for your horse waiting nearby. Arthur watched you go until he lost sight of you in the overgrown vegetation.

Then you were on the road, your horse at a trot, when something in his line of vision spooked him. Before you could even react, you were bucked off, your head hitting the ground with a thud. Despite the pain, you knew better than to just lay there. Gators and snakes were everywhere, but only something notably terrifying would scare off your Andalusian. You took the rifle off your back, pointing it aimlessly all around, trying to focus your spinning vision on the threat beyond.

Before you could blink, a big cat took hold of your leg through your skirt. You shot wildly once, twice, then three times before the beast let go of you. Screaming at the top of your lungs, you scrambled backward as more bullets rang out from your low-caliber weapon. Hoping and praying, you squeezed the trigger one last time. Eyes closed, you prepared for the inevitable when a louder shot rang out somewhere near you.

When pain and death didn't come, you opened your eyes to see Arthur standing over you, concern distorting his face. Beads of sweat ran down his forehead, and he huffed, trying to catch his breath. His hands scoured every inch of you, searching for signs of bleeding. Panic started to set in again when you realized you couldn't feel anything; you held your breath as Arthur pulled up the hem of your dress, bracing for the worst.

You breathed a sigh of relief and let your head fall back onto the ground. The puncture was minor, no worse than a needle prick. Arthur stood, using his arm to wipe away the perspiration that had soaked him. Then his anger started up again.

"Can't go getting hurt like that, girl. Shouldn't've let you run off by yourself. If something happened to you, I'd—"

"Shut up, Arthur," you rose back up and tried to smile through your unease. "I'm fine, thanks to you."

He held out a hand to pull you back to your feet, then wrapped his arms around you tight. His heart hammered against his chest, and you could hear your blood rushing through your ears. Then you finally let yourself cry in the safety of all his bulk.

"I'm sorry, sweet girl; I'm sorry." Every shakey inhale, sob, and gasp from you ripped him apart from the inside out. He was supposed to be looking after you, always, but his hardheadedness and pride left you vulnerable. Killing was the one thing he knew he was good for, and to almost fail at the cost of your life made his insides rot with guilt.

He peeled you away from his chest and cupped your face, "I won't let anything else happen to you, ya' hear?" You nodded, and he wiped dirt and tears away from your cheek with a big thumb and brought you back into him, stroking the back of your head. After a long moment, he retrieved your horse, helped you, and then rode beside you the whole way back to camp.

The next day, you gladly did your chores while Arthur went on his adventures. You didn't complain in the comfort and safety of a shade tree and other skilled gunmen. You were sitting in his tent when Arthur returned in the evening, now wearing his regular gambler's hat and carrying another adorned with floral designs and a peacock feather.

He greeted you with a peck on your cheek, joined you on the cot, and talked through a crooked smile, "found the rest of those orchids today and gave 'em to Algernon. Took this instead of the money. Think he was happier with that trade, anyway."  

The closer you looked at the beautiful monstrosity, the more you had to fight off your reaction. It was undeniably unique, but you couldn't image anyone wearing it seriously.

"It's um—," You covered your mouth to stifle your giggle, but your quaking shoulders gave you away. To your relief, Arthur joined in your laugh and placed the hat atop your head.

"He tried to give it to me, made me try it on, but I figured it'd look better on you. Now we both got a crazy hat."

The idea of Arthur standing in front of a mirror in the hat with all his hardened features made you throw your head back in near hysterics.

"Well, I will cherish that image and this hat forever. Thank you." Arthur's face softened as your amusement died down, then morphed into a lamentable combination of worry and self-loathing. You recognized it all too well.  

He stroked your face with the back of his hand and spoke in a hushed tone, "I'm sorry, again, for letting you go off by yourself like that. I—"

You silenced him with your lips, pushing him onto his back and mounting him. Your new hat fell away along with his worry as you showed him just how appreciative you were.

[mywifealhaitham]

pre release boothill relationship headcanons!!!

a/n: I'm fiending off crumbs... I've wanted to read some x reader of him but theres none so I gotta write it myself. I hope the other 4 boothill fans enjoy

warnings: gn!reader, like 2 gendered pet names (pretty girl/boy), most of this is written with bias because we don't have alot to go off, obviously written prerelease, when we actually get content of him I'll definitely be rewriting

LEAKS AHEAD!!!

bc: Valentine_DD_ on twt

- Boothill is described as a righteous person if his bottom line doesn't get crossed, so he definitely treats you good. probably more on the protective side when it comes to you, he's probably not afraid to use his gun if someone is threatening you.

- and believe me he's intimidating. from his overall tough and "unruly" cowboy look to his mechanical body it leaves enemies just a little challenged. he lowers his voice too and probably has a more fierce look in his eyes too. after any threats have been delt with he probably turns to you and turns into the sweetest thing ever, a wide grin across his face and his hands on your cheeks peppering you with small kisses.

- Its said he's a bit sophisticated due to his experiences so I'd like to imagine sometimes he charms you with facts and details about other planets or just genuinely sharing some tips and tricks he's picked up from other cultures. he's also a person who can get along with others pretty well but he can easily give strangers an impression he's selfish and is a bad person.

- again this kinda feeds into he's basically you'd guard dog... but I mean who wouldn't want to be saved by a handsome and sweet cowboy. despite his unpredictable personality and looks he's a huge gentleman for sure. always opens doors and pulls out chairs for you, makes sure your behind him and okay if any danger approaches and practically listens to your every command (lowkey giving off my girl and I don't argue she tells me to shut up and I do)

- one part I'm so excited to see is what they mean by he's illiterate and using metaphors. it's probably just him using slang but it's still kinda cute. I feel like his cheesy and strange metaphors turn into pick up lines when talking to you. perhaps he'll pull a "did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" or something cheesier. Definitely a huge nickname guy, almost never uses your real name. I'm guessing he'd use stuff like doll, sugar, baby, pretty girl/boy and more teasing names. heavy on doll and sugar and just imagine him saying it in a deep southern accent... 😍 kicking my feet. also I imagine he loves making you giggle by not cursing (because he literally cant) and normally he'd get pissed if someone laughed at him like that if it's you he doesn't mind at all.

- that's pretty much it for like analyzing the leaks I saw but now the stuff up ahead is just bias yapping because I always project

- HE DEFINITELY IS A HAND KISSER. greets you by getting on one knee, holding his hat to his chest and kissing your hand. makes eye contact with you too and does that toothy smirk of his IM SWOONINGGG

- maybe he's a dancer! pulls you into his arms and places his hat on your head when a good song plays in taverns. even if your clueless on any type of dances then he'll pull you along to the beat whispering Instructions in your ear.

- gets so lovesick when drunk it drives everyone mad. any folks he's sitting with at a bar gets a whole speech on his wonderful beautiful darling who he owes his live and would happily die by their hand. and may God save you when you come pick him up because he'll be all over you. Immediately he wraps a arm around your waist as he slurrs his hello as he proceeds to tell you he loves you like 40 times. besides the mass amounts of kisses you'll receive once you both reach a private spot he let's some feelings that he might be too shy to share normally, holding your face as he calls you his pretty girl/boy and how he's so lucky to have you.

- honestly not the best for cuddling however unfortunately he needs to cuddle you to sleep so goodluck! his metal body isn't completely uncomfortable it's just cold alot. he tries to get around this by literally preheating himself with blankets before you go to bed.

very bad boothill brainrot atm... only a few more weeks until we get official content 😭 everyone hold hands we got this

here's the actual leaks if anyone is curious ^_^

[iactuallykissedsharawheeler]

⭑⌗ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐇𝐂𝐒 + 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

✶ let's go ahead and clear that idea that ellie wouldn't be like. immediately obsessed with you and giving you secret discounts on the weed.

✶ she met you five seconds ago and she was like. why would she ever pay for anything?? she's literally my reason for breathing?? (ok babe 😭) so you're getting that stuff for lowest price she can possibly make it. and if you flirt a little?? she's wondering why she's not just handing you the bag for free.

✶ when you guys get closer, she notices you're kinda into pink so when she sees pink papers???? she's SLAMMING that card, best believe. when you're freaking and like HOWD YOU GET THIS she's trying to pretend to be all cool like oh idk just found 'em and thought it'd be funny but if you like 'em you can have them ... i guess 😒

✶ if you're a little inexperienced with it she's a little protective and is like oh i don't think you should try that this one's way better and gives it to you on the house like?? you're trying to pay for it and she's like noooo it's for you just take it even though that was some of her good weed and she never gives that out. but you're nice and sweet and her bestest customer so who is she to charge you??

✶ when y'all are closer she literally just starts buying shit for you. you're like oh my gosh this bracelet is literally so pretty and next time you come over she's like so.. guess what and there's the bracelet in a box under two pretty pre-rolls (that she's also not letting you pay for btw)

✶ n you're so worried about breaking her bank when she does it but she's literally living lavish because she's everyone's dealer and no one with weed isn't getting it from her. (charismatic queen tbh)

✶ plus if you think this is gonna kill her wallet just wait until you guys start actually dating. she's not even waiting for you to ask for shit, she's telling you to put your cart on public so she can surprise you all the time.

✶ you're like babe how am i gonna pay you back and she's like just .. be pretty for me, yeah? 's not hard for you at all. (just flustered myself give me a minute)

✶ and some random things i just think she'd do:

✶ texting you high out of her mind about dinosaur facts because she just knows too much and needs to get it out immediately (she's such a nerd I love it 😭)

✶ trying to shotgun with you but she sees your face lookin' all pretty n dazed, chokes on the smoke, and just simply never does it after that. (give her a week, she'll be back)

✶ reading a shit ton of sci-fi. she compulsively reads savage starlight all the time but she's actually obsessed with the whole genre n can't exist without it atp (she DEFINITELY owns a few space cowboy books and before meeting you she would always imagine she was the lead guy with the hot love interest who was definitely some kind of alien. don't question it.)

✶ if you're a plushie girlie (me fr) she's ALWAYS buying you plushies. but she always buys one that matches yours for herself so you guys are "always together" or something. idk she's a little bit of a loser.

✶ she's so bad at keeping up with skincare but now she just weaponises that and makes you do it for her. literally rolling her eyes and pouting if you do yours without her, mumbling shit like "oh yeah, just forget about ellie, huh? that's what they all do" until you're like babe what??? 😭

✶ also i know that everyone says this but she really does own some weird ass shirts 😭😭 she'll get high and buy weird shit like that shirt that just says tomatoes it's so wild going through her closet lmaoo

✶ and because of her high shopping she also has some weird ass bongs like. seriously. there's a an astronaut one with octopus legs for sure, i can feel it.

✶ high ellie tweets>> she's actually so out of pocket sometimes 😭 some of her greatest hits would probs be

✶ also she was so nervous around you and wouldn't look you in the eye for too long because she didn't wanna scare you but then she got a little bold when she found out you liked girls and then was just straight up cocky when she realised you liked her, too (that blunt flick when dina said she wanted her to kiss her .. yeah that ellie)

✶ she's just the bestest, silliest, nerdiest girl ever and the best girlfriend literally anyone could ask for 💞💞

hey guys back with another banger hope you guys enjoyed make sure to like follow and subscribe‼️ no but seriously give me opinions because i love hearing you guys have little convos and the reposts are always so wild 😭😭 thank you new jersey, and goodnight (also don't look at the tags im shy) as alwaysss creds to @ cafekitsune bc these dividers are so mf cute

[hypnoneghoul]

Sundown: Chapter 14

WC: 2,7K

Relationship: SwissAlps

Tags: AU; Cowboy!Swiss x Barmaid!Mountain, Transfeminine Mountain, Fluff, Wedding!!!

Swiss’ hands shake as he slides the ring down Mounty’s finger, but it’s okay; so do hers. They giggle quietly at each other when it takes a small eternity for Swiss’ ring to end up on his finger, but soon enough it’s done.

Playlist here. / Chapter 1 here or on AO3.

Read chapter 14 under the cut or on AO3.

When Mounty’s leg is healed and Swiss’ stitches are out—a few weeks after the scariest day of them all—the real countdown begins; it’s all pure chaos and days blurring together.

One day, though, Swiss and Mounty wake up in the morning tangled together and realize it’s the day.

They kiss about it and giggle into each other’s mouths, so happy and yet still unable to fully grasp what really is going to happen in a few hours.

After a little while Mounty goes down to the bar to prepare some light breakfast and Swiss packs his stuff, planning on going to Rain, Dewdrop, and Phantom’s place later to get ready there, leaving their space for Mounty.

He can’t find his bolo tie, though—of course—so he jumps down the stairs and calls out to his girl, “Momo, have you seen my…”

Swiss doesn’t finish his question, getting distracted by the presence of the tallest man he’s ever seen in his entire life. He’s just there, standing by the bar and talking with Mounty. They both turn, hearing Swiss’ voice.

“Good morning,” he says with reservation, even though Mounty is completely at ease; obviously comfortable with the man.

“Good morning,” the stranger replies, “I'm Earth, Mountain’s father.”

Swiss’ jaw drops.

“Oh, you–her…her father, I–uhm, good–good morning…sir,” he stammers out.

“You said that already,” Earth chuckles and Mounty hides her smile with a hand. “Indeed it is.”

Swiss now understands where his girl got her height and sense of humor from. He completely forgot Mounty had talked about him and mentioned inviting him to their wedding.

He jumps off the last step he’s been lingering on and makes his way to the bar, albeit keeping a safe distance from the huge man.

“I think you scared him, dad,” Mounty gets on her tiptoes to whisper into her father’s ear over the counter, but it’s still loud enough so Swiss can hear it.

“No, no, hah, I–” The cowboy blushes. “Nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure is all mine,” Earth nods with a gentle—but still a bit scary—smile and turns a chair for Swiss to sit on. He obliges, of course. And buttons up his shirt. “I've heard you saved my so–daughter's life.”

Mounty doesn’t seem bothered by the tiny slip up, so Swiss ignores it. He can see Earth is supportive and loving, and that it was an honest mistake, probably an effect of all the years he did indeed see Mounty as his son. Swiss learned that little errors like this don’t matter when someone really cares for the other person.

 “Me? I–I guess you could say so…sir, but–”

The cowboy yelps in surprise when Earth suddenly throws his arms around him and hugs him tightly. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Mounty holding herself back from bursting out laughing.

“Thank you.” Her dad finally pulls away. “Mountain didn’t tell me much, but I’m grateful you were here to protect her when I couldn’t.”

Swiss looks down on his feet, a wave of guilt washing over him; Mounty wouldn’t be in danger in the first place if it weren’t for him, after all, but the next thing Earth says snaps him out of it and fills him with something that almost feels like pride.

“I can see in both your eyes how much you love each other. I have no doubt you will make her happy, son.”

If Swiss tears up a little, nobody mentions it. He swallows through the lump in his throat and nods with a smile, finally looking Earth in the eye properly. “Thank you.”

Mounty decides it’s time for a distraction, so she brings out food for the three of them.

“So…have you seen my tie?” Swiss asks again as he takes the plates from her and Mounty smirks, taking it out from under the counter. The cowboy furrows his brows, confused as to what it’s doing there but then he remembers last week—when he was trying his suit on—and blushes bright red. He silently begs any god that will listen that his soon-to-be father in law doesn’t connect the dots. “Thanks, sweetheart…”

After the incredibly awkward breakfast, Mounty’s dad decides to go for a walk to kill some time before the wedding and Aurora comes knocking on Mounty’s door with two boxes of beauty products under her arms just when Swiss is about to leave. He helps her with the cargo and then gets shooed out of the saloon and waved goodbye by the two giggling women.

He doesn’t go straight to his groomsmen’s house, though, as planned. He goes to the stables, to Monty, first.

The mare is happy to see him—as always—and Swiss thinks she can sense his happiness and excitement as she seems to mirror it. He leans against her and talks to her quietly; an old habit they have been cultivating since Monty was a foal.

“What are you doing in here?” Swiss gets interrupted at some point, hearing Dewdrop behind him. “Not planning on leaving Mounty at the altar, are you?”

“Oh, I ain’t going anywhere, don’t ya worry,” he chuckles. “Just thinking. Trying to…comprehend it all.”

Dewdrop nods, understanding.

“And talking to this ol’ chick. She’s the one who’s been with me through it all.”

The other man hums in acknowledgement and gives Monty a pat.

“This reminds me of something from a few months ago,” he says after a moment of silence. He’s right, Swiss doesn’t miss the parallel. “Look how far you’ve come.”

“I wouldn’t be here if not for you, you know that?” Swiss finally looks at Dewdrop. His eyes are glassy, but there’s a smile on his face and the other can see genuine gratitude in his expression. “I would be long gone if you hadn’t stopped me that day and I would be convinced I was doing you all a favor. Especially Mounty.” 

“I hope you can see now how wrong you were.”

“I do. And I ain't ever again gonna even think about leaving her.”

“Atta boy.” Dewdrop mirrors his smile and claps a hand over his shoulder. “Now come on, let’s make you presentable for your girl.”

Swiss laughs, pats his mare’s neck and lets Dewdrop lead him to his house.

In the meantime, the girls are having the time of their life in the saloon. By the time Cumulus arrives with Mounty’s wedding dress two hours later, Aurora has already done her makeup and hair.

Weeks ago, when the tailoress had asked Mounty what she wanted from her wedding dress, she only said two words.

“Just…me.”

The tailoress didn't have much time so they decided to make it rather simple, but special and very Mounty nonetheless. Now when she is putting it on, Mounty realizes she could not have dreamed up a better dress for her wedding than what Cumulus came up with.

Also because of how little time there was, Mounty told her bridesmaids to just wear something green instead of dooming Cumulus to sleepless nights spent working on matching dresses for them all. Swiss said the same to his groomsmen and for himself decided to get Cumulus to tailor a suit that's been waiting in her workshop rather than to make something entirely new. It's not about clothes, after all, especially not for Swiss. All he wants is his girl to be happy and he never doubted Cumulus’ ability to make Mounty the happiest bride with her work.

“How are you feeling?” the tailoress asks as she finishes tying the corset of the dress up.

“Lussy, this is–I’ve no words, it’s so beautiful,” Mounty mutters, looking herself over in the mirror. She can barely recognize herself; in a good way. For the first time in what feels like forever the barmaid sees a beautiful woman in the mirror and there’s no nagging voice in the back of her head telling her otherwise.

“I’m so happy you like it, my dear,” Cumulus chuckles, “but how are you feeling, really? About all of this? There must be a lot of emotion, let it out.”

Mounty sighs. There is a lot of emotion, indeed, but it’s not so easy to put it into words. She tries her best, “I never thought I’d find someone who…who’d take me seriously. I didn’t ever expect anyone to see me as a real woman and love me as one, too. This is more than a dream come true and Swiss is…he’s a lot of things and he might not be perfect but he’s perfect for me. Makes me feel whole, you know?”

“I know,” the tailoress—and Mounty’s maid of honor—agrees. “I’m very happy for you, Mounty.”

The bride grins and can’t help but throw her arms around the other woman and hug her tightly; as a thanks for everything.

“Careful now,” Cumulus laughs, “let’s not crease your dress before Swiss can get his hands on you. Though I must admit I’m a little scared for it, because he will want to rip it right off you when he sees you, my dear.”

Mounty pulls away and can’t help but giggle. It’s contagious so they end up laughing so hard they can’t breathe as they joke about Swiss and how the bride has him wrapped right around her little finger.

Cumulus was chosen by Mounty to be her maid of honor with Aurora, Cirrus and Mist—Mounty’s cousin that traveled with Earth—as the remaining bridesmaids, while Rain, Dewdrop and Phantom are Swiss’ groomsmen. He and Mounty gave Phantom a choice whether they wanted to be one of Mounty’s bridesmaids or Swiss’ groomsmen and they chose the latter, wanting to make the number on both sides even.

Albeit, to most guests it still won’t seem even.

They decided to get married in the groove. Mounty has always loved that place, it’s where Swiss proposed—or rather tried, the first time—and it’s simply beautiful. It was clear to both of them it had to be there. And considering it’s August, the weather would be perfect for an afternoon wedding out in the open.

Setting it all up took some time; they put tons of chairs around the trees and a carpet for Mounty to walk on down to the altar made of a few short steps and a platform with a floral archway. A similar passage was put at the entrance—this one with a curtain so Mounty could be unseen before its time for her to walk through it. Behind it all, on the edge of the groove there’s a tent for the reception party with a wooden floor that took the longest to make. They also built little stables with hay and water for people that wanted to come on their horses; many indeed did.

When the clock in Sundown strikes three, it all begins.

Dewdrop, Rain, and Phantom go first, standing in a neat line on the left side of the officiant already waiting there, but one step down. Then come the bridesmaids—Cumulus, Cirrus, Aurora, and Mist—and line up on the right. Swiss takes a few more deep breaths and walks out after them to wait for his girl at the top. It feels both like a second and an hour as the space is filled out with overlapping murmurs of the guests.

But then it all goes quiet.

Everyone stands up and Swiss feels his heart in his throat.

His knees nearly give out when Mounty walks out from behind the trees with Earth by her side and a pretty bouquet in her hands. They begin to make their way to the altar and Swiss’ eyes sting; he tips his hat downwards to hide the wet shine in them.

“Dude, are you crying already?” Phantom teases quietly. Indeed, he is. Already.

“Yeah, just…just look at her,” Swiss chuckles. Phantom does look over and they can’t deny Mounty looks absolutely divine. Her dress is long and puffy with layers upon layers of tulle; the top part of it a simple off-shoulder corset with a sweetheart neckline—how on point. It’s all pure white, just as the veil that’s cascading down over the bride's let down amber hair down to the very ground, but there are green applications scattered all over it. As Mounty gets closer everyone sees they are patches of leaves with tiny red flowers amongst them.

“She’s a goddess,” Swiss whispers wetly and no one would dare disagree with that.

Mounty smiles brightly as she and her father cross the remaining distance to where her future is waiting; she hugs Earth before he goes to take his spot in one of the front chairs and turns to Swiss. She takes that last step but her foot catches on the edge of the platform through her dress and she sways; falling right into Swiss’ arms.

“Careful, sweetheart,” he chuckles, looking deep into her fresh-grass-green eyes. Mounty blushes, regaining her footing, and stands proudly in her spot. Cumulus runs up to her quickly to smooth down her veil and the back of her dress and when she nods at the officiant it all begins.

They made it.

Neither Swiss nor Mounty will remember the next twenty minutes—they’re not even listening to the officiant, staring at each other and smiling like two teenagers in love instead. Only when it’s time for them to speak—for their vows—do they snap out of it. Well, not fully, of course.

“Mounty, love of my life,” Swiss begins. “You know I ain’t much good with words, so I’ll just say what…comes to mind. We haven’t known each other that long, but you already know me better than anyone else ever had; better than I know myself. You looked at me once and your kindness and beauty captivated me and I can’t imagine my life without you now. I was lost and you found me and I can never repay you for that, for all you’ve done for me. But I’ll try, I’ll do my damn best to give you a better life than you’ve dreamed of. If you’ll let me.”

Mounty chuckles, nodding with a grin and glistening eyes.

“Swiss, my darling, you gave me something I doubted I could ever have. You made me feel loved and important and now I wake up every day with the knowledge that I’m someone’s. That I’m yours and I couldn’t imagine it being different, now. You filled the empty spaces in my heart and soul I didn’t even know were there. I look forward to waking up next to you and facing the world for the next tens of years and more. You also gave me something to worry about and I do think you may have to work on that aspect.”

This time all the guests laugh with them.

Swiss tries to be discreet when he wipes the tears from his eyes, but he’s not doing a very good job of it. Neither is Mounty, even though she’s more graceful when she pats them away with a corner of a napkin.

The bride looks back at Cirrus as it’s time for them to exchange rings and she brings them out; just two simple golden bands. They decided they needed nothing but a symbol; their love alone already made them richer than any jewelry could ever be a proof of. 

Swiss’ hands shake as he slides the ring down Mounty’s finger, but it’s okay; so do hers. They giggle quietly at each other when it takes a small eternity for Swiss’ ring to end up on his finger, but soon enough it’s done.

They made it.

“You may now kiss the bride,” the officiant announces and the world goes quiet.

Swiss grins as he throws his hat away before wrapping his arms all around Mounty and dipping her so low the ends of her hair touch the ground. The guests cheer loudly, but neither the cowboy nor his wife pay them any mind as they kiss; it’s just them despite the crowd, just like the first time.

And the sun that shines upon them through the treetops is the missing best woman.

look at the beautiful art by @arkeusruin!!!

[cherrycherrylady2024]

Christmas with the Grimes'

(Dilf! Rick Grimes x reader) Word count: 2,672

Warnings: 18+, descriptions of Rick's abdomen (awooga), flirting?

Chapter 2: Welcome Home

The train ride seemed to go by at lightspeed while you let your mind swirl around Rick Grimes. As you pulled into the King County station you took a few calming breaths and got your shit together, prepping to see Mr. Grimes again. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. BE NORMAL. Judith stirred, then stretched, taking a peek outside, “Oh good, we survived!”. You chuckled and stood to retrieve your bags. The trek through the train and to the front of the station felt a million miles long. Why were you getting so worked up about this middle-aged single father? You hadn’t ever been that into older guys. There was just something about him…

You need to reel it in, you reminded yourself. You repeated it like a mantra in your head over and over and over: reel it in, reel it in, reel it in, reel- HONK! You nearly jumped out of your skin at the car horn. “Damn it, Dad!” Judith screeched, nearly dropping her bag in surprise. She laughed at herself as you followed her to the big green Ford parked across the street. Be normal Be normal Be normal. You could see him behind the wheel, laughing and shaking his head. Oh god. Judith looks back at you, “He thinks he’s a comedian.” The driver's door opened and Rick's cowboy boots appeared. Then his denim-clad legs. His brown belt and shiny belt buckle. The gun on his hip. He slammed the door closed. While the action only took him about 2 seconds, it was like a slow-motion movie scene to you. You were mesmerized. Rick wore a flannel shirt and a thick brown fleece-lined police jacket over it. He walked to the side of the truck, his hands on his hips, head cocked. “‘Scuse me girls but have you seen my daughter anywhere? She’s ‘bout… mmm let's say yea high?” He raised his hand up to roughly oompa loompa height before Judith was upon him, swatting his hand away. “Shut it.” she retorted. “Hello to you too, kid” He chuckled wrapping her in a big hug. They parted and Judith opened the backseat to stuff her suitcase inside. The butterflies in your stomach were swarming now, building up to an explosion. Rick looked over to you with a smile. Fuck. You were unable to stop yourself.

“Hi Rick!!” you blurted excitedly.

You began mentally punching yourself in the face.

I guess it wasn’t that bad. No, it was bad, you thought to yourself, you just harpy shrieked at him. He raised an eyebrow and laughed, “Well it’s nice that somebody’s happy to see me.” Oh my god. Luckily the cold air had already given you rosy cheeks, so your embarrassed blush was pretty much concealed; but you were almost certain that Rick could tell. You could’ve sworn that he gave you just the tiniest funny look, one that you couldn’t quite place. Judith had already shoved her suitcase inside and you went to do the same. It was a bit difficult to fit yours next to hers in the already small backseat. You put your foot up on the side and pushed with all your might before a jacketed arm reached out from behind you and shoved Judith's suitcase to the side, allowing yours to slip in perfectly. You turn to find Rick just a few inches behind you. So close that, momentarily, you felt the heat radiating from his body. “There ya go,” he says, letting out a little huff of air as he pushes the suitcases in further, revealing a seat for you. “Oh- thanks” you say, frozen. He nodded (and there was that look again!) before walking around to the driver's seat. You climbed inside, and as you buckled yourself in, it dawned on you exactly what type of look that was. 

It was the type that all guys do when they know- - - they’re making you nervous. 

He knew exactly what he was doing to you. 

And he was doing it on purpose. 

You gripped your thighs, digging your nails in, as you felt a warm tingling sensation build in your lower stomach. No. No. No. You had to be misreading this. You had to be.

~~~

Before long the heater was blasting and Judith was reading her Hamlet essay to Rick, his eyebrows all knit up, trying to follow. You had been zoned out for the past few minutes, trying to get your shit together. There was no way. No way. You had to be wrong. You shoved down that little voice inside, telling you what you knew you wanted to hear, and took a deep breath. You distracted yourself by listening to Judith, even though you had heard the essay upwards of 15 times back in the dorms. Upon her use of the word “anagnorisis”, the reflection of Rick's eyes in the rearview mirror flashed up and caught your gaze. He raised his eyebrows and shook his head slightly as if to say “What is she talking about?” You let out a little laugh, it was a pretty academically dense essay, and he cracked a smile, chuckling to himself. “What?” Judith stopped, looking between you both. For some reason it made the two of you laugh more, “Anagnorisis is a real word people! I used it correctly!... I’m pretty sure. I got a 93% on this essay, so laugh all you want! Whatever” she rolled her eyes humorously, crossing her arms. Rick took in a deep breath, quieting his laughter but still smiling, “Well honey, gun to my head I couldn’t tell ya what that word means, so you must be doin' something right…” Then added, grumbling “But it sounded like a 100% essay to me, nothing 93% about that.” As he said this, Rick spun the wheel and the truck turned into a short driveway.

The house was fairly large and white, definitely Southern style with a wrap-around porch. It was old, but in the best way where it immediately feels like home. Rick got both of your bags out of the backseat and carried them up to the porch with ease. You followed behind Judith, taking in the yard and exterior of the house. There was only an inch or two of snow on the ground and someone had clearly tried and failed to make a snowman. You guessed it was Carl. Golden shining Christmas lights decorated the lip of the roof and wrapped around the two banisters of the steps. You all tapped your shoes on the last step, shaking off the snow/mud. The ancient-looking wreath on the door shook as Rick led the way inside. You were greeted with a wave of toasty warm air, homey was the best way to put it. The house was a little messy, toys strewn about, an overfilled laundry basket waiting to be washed, and what appeared to be the leftovers of a blanket fort in the living room. Rick set down your bags, calling out “Carl! Come say hello to your sister!” He stumbled over some shoes in the entryway then sighed, turning to you “Damn it…welcome to the Grimes estate y/n. Didn’t get a chance to clean.” You snicker, stepping over the shoes and toys, “If you think this is bad you shoulda seen where I grew up.” You surprised yourself with your candor. You rarely mention your home if you could help it, but you found yourself wanting to spill your guts to Rick. Like he would understand everything. Make you feel better. Safe. Jesus Christ!!!!

Luckily your brain shut up at the sound of thundering little feet on the stairs. Carl emerged and ran over to his sister, nearly jumping on top of her. “Judith!” he exclaimed, “Carl!” Judith echoed over-enthusiastically, hugging him. Carl started talking a mile a minute, “I got a new comic book from Nana today, it's so awesome! It was an early Christmas present-” Rick interrupted Carl, carrying your bags towards the stairs, “It was not an early Christmas present, it was s’posed to go under the tree, but someone snuck into the mail ‘fore I even saw it.” He had his hands on his hips again, giving Carl a sly look. Carl looked at his feet, concealing a smile. Judith ruffled his hair, “Well it’s a good thing Santa already put you on the nice list this year, or else you mighta been in big trouble.” Rick picked up the bags and headed up the stairs. Carl gave a little eye roll, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it.” Judith chuckled then turned to you. “Carl, this is my roommate y/n,” she said. “Hi Carl, I’ve heard so much about you!” You said with a smile. “Hi. Do you like comic books?” he replied, in that straight-to-the-point way that kids do. “Sure I do,” you responded. Carl beamed, “Okay good, then both of you can come see my new comic! Follow me.” He headed up the stairs, you and Judith exchanged a look and chuckled, following Carl. At the top of the stairs, you asked to quickly use the bathroom and Judith directed you down the hall, “There’s a bathroom attached to your room, it’s all yours. I have to share mine with this animal,” she nodded her head towards Carl who scampered towards his room. You walked down the short hallway toward your room, studying the photos on the wall. Carl's school picture, Judith's graduation, some drawings, and an old photo of Rick holding baby Judith. You studied it for a moment. He was younger of course, clean-shaven, his hair more tamed, but his eyes still sparkled the same way. Honestly, you preferred him the way he is now. A little more rugged, more knowing. Damn, it was sexy. This was all running through your head as you entered the open door to your room, only to stop short.

Rick was in your room.

But he didn’t notice you. He was reaching for something on the top shelf of the closet. His arms stretched just enough to lift the hem of his flannel, revealing a sliver of his lower abdomen. Time seemed to slow down. You felt like a Victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time. You swear to god you almost drooled, your eyes locked on the sliver of belly until it was gone. He had turned around and was now looking at you. Before you could say anything, he apologized, “Sorry y/n, I meantta get the bed all made up ‘fore you got here, but I guess it slipped my mind.” It was only then that you realized he was holding a stack of sheets, retrieved from the closet. “O-oh, it’s- it is totally fine. I can do it. Thanks. Thank you,” you stuttered hopelessly. Rick ignored your protests, walking over to the naked mattress. He fanned out the fitted sheet and began tucking it into the left corner. His flannel sleeves were rolled up, his forearms hypnotizing you as he lifted the corner of the mattress. You still stood awkwardly in the doorway, watching him until you sprang to life. “Let me help,” you said quickly, walking past your suitcase, which he had so kindly delivered to your room. You tucked in the opposite corner sheet. Then he did the bottom. Then you did the bottom. Then he fanned out the top sheet. You caught the other end and the two of you brought it fluttering down on top of the fitted sheet. As you brought the sheet down you made fleeting eye contact, which immediately made you crave death just as much as it made you want to jump his bones.

NO. No, you didn't want that, who said that? Not me, you thought to yourself.

You decided gaslighting yourself was the only way to stay sane this winter break. You flattened out the ripples in the top sheet together, and you tried not to yelp when your hands brushed past each other. This entire time you were working in silence. Should you say something? Would it be weird to say something at this point? Unable to stand the silence you scanned your brain for an appropriate thing to say. You both began stuffing pillows into their cases. “I just want to say, thank you for letting me stay here. I-I know it’s probably an imposition-” he cut you off, “No imposition. You’re welcome here anytime.” The matter-of-fact way he said it made it feel like this was the final word on the situation. You were wanted. You weren’t an imposition or a burden in his eyes. “Well- thank you anyway. I think it’ll be really fun. Staying here. I mean, like, y’know getting to know Judith's town and, uh, more about her and… yeah,” Jesus Christ. He smiled to himself as he pulled another pillowcase on,

“You're right. We’ll have lotsa fun.”

Oh? Oh. Oh my god. You felt like you had whiplash. Just a few words and you were at a loss, frozen, as he stacked the pillows up. You slowly pulled the rest of the pillowcase around your pillow, going over and over what he just said in your mind. Did he mean that the way you heard it? He had to. He had to have meant it that way. NO. NO. NO. He did not mean it that way. It was a polite response. But the INTONATION! You argued with yourself. You said you thought it would be fun, all he said is that it will be fun… Fuck he totally meant it that way oh my god oh my god oh my god- “Do you run cold?” He was looking at you, one hand on his hip. You blinked at him. “What?” He smiled playfully at you. At your near catatonic state. He knew exactly what he was doing. “Do you get cold? In the night. I’m just wonderin’ if ya need another blanket is all.” You caught on incredibly slowly, dumbly looking down at the two quilts he had laid out on the bed. Was there a correct answer? “Uh. I do. Kinda,” you put eloquently. “Figured. It gets real cold in the guest room anyhow, I’ll go get ya another,” he didn’t give you a second to process his words before he breezed right past you back down the hallway. Alone for a moment, you took a shaky breath, setting down the pillow you were still vice-gripping. You slumped onto the bed, raking your hands through your hair. The tingling sensation resumed from earlier. The tension, in your mind or not, was becoming unbearable. You pressed your thighs together as your mind swam.

Rick re-entered with a thick dark green knitted blanket, you felt warmer just looking at it. “Try that,” he stated, tossing it to you. You catch it, feeling its heft, and rub the fibers together in your hands, “It feels nice,” you murmur. “I’ll let ya borrow it til you go back, but don’t get any funny ideas about taking it back with you. That one there’s my favorite,” he said with a smile, his arms crossed. He gave you his favorite blanket. Shut up he’s just being hospitable. “Thank you.” He nodded, and with that, he was gone. It was like the lights died out in the room. You immediately feel his absence in your chest. You wanted to chase after him, even just to talk about the weather. Anything. Instead, you stroked the blanket he gave you. It smelled of him. Not just his cologne, but him. Before you knew it you were holding the blanket to your face, deeply inhaling, imagining him all around you. His strong arms, wide rough hands, that smile of his. You imagined you were combing your fingers through his thick head of hair. You wanted him desperately. Jesus, you felt like a creep. 

You let the blanket fall back to your lap. 

To your surprise, Rick Grimes was standing in the doorway again, that fucking look on his face.

“Meant to tell ya, dinners at 7” He turned on his heel and was gone. 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. 

***

notes: thank u all for ur support on the first part! I hope this satiates you all for now while I finish part three <3

[fryingpan1234567]

listen I knowwww Roach should be British. he was on a British task force. he’s got the flag on his uniforms. but when @fixfoxnox said southerner Roach I just couldn’t not love him okay leave me alone

anyways. southerner Roach shenanigans

(I guess you could call this a Something in the Orange fanfic since he’s besties with Jackson in this scenario as well as dating Ghost and Soap……… but it’s general enough it’s probably fine ANYWAYS)

Roach’s accent, while it normally only lightly flavors a few of his words, gets considerably thicker when he’s visiting home

I mean like he does the thing southerners do where they somehow mash entire sentences into one word and the others are just like “……….what” but Jackson is nodding like he understood

Like. They’re all at dinner together somewhere. Somebody brings up the rodeo at the state fair. The Europeans have no idea what they’re talking about. Roach just goes “y’ain’tneverheardadat??” and Soap nearly has a stroke trying to figure out what he meant but Jackson continues to eat soundly like he didn’t hear anything wrong

COWBOY👏 HAT👏 RULE👏

HELP

No no no they go to some random dive bar for one of their birthdays. It doesn’t matter whose. Jackson and Roach both have cowboy hats because OBVIOUSLY and like. They exchange this look that the others can’t figure out whenever one of their boyfriends steals their hat via flirting

(They tell them later and then can’t stop laughing while Soap and Ghost and Gaz are just sitting there like uh oh)

After that the hat stealing is very much purposeful

Square dancing to fucking Timber by Kesha and Pitbull in said dive bar because that’s just required idk what to tell you

Soap and Ghost seeing Roach ride a horse for the first time and visibly bluescreen

Roach recognizing people from high school in his hometown even tho he hasn’t seen them in like 20 years

He likes Taylor Swift but only her old country-adjacent stuff

Ghost and Soap couldn’t figure out his aversion to any kind of substitute milk until he took them home and they found out it’s because he grew up drinking milk that literally came from the cows he has in his backyard. They own two cows. And a few chickens. Very resourceful

Jackson and Roach dragging the 141 to Roach’s family’s Super Bowl party one year because in the southern states it’s a huge fucking deal

The Europeans being like “………this is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in my life” but their boys are having fun so it’s okay

God help the rest of them. Jackson and Roach are rooting for opposite teams.

There’s screaming, there’s wrestling on the living room floor, there’s spilling food and beer everywhere. The amount of rubbing it in after a touchdown lands is fucking crazy, and they’ve shouted about stabbing each other every single time

Eventually, maybe with a bit of googling, the others get into it. Soap hasn’t stopped shoving Mrs. Roach’s buffalo chicken dip in his face since he’d discovered it when they’d arrived, and Ghost was letting the kids use his tattoo like a coloring page while he chatted with Roach’s dad and brothers. Gaz kept getting elbowed in the ribs whenever Roach and Jackson tousled on the couch, and a couple times he was asked to hold Jackson’s beer so “I can kick some sense into this dipshit,” usually followed by Roach’s maniacal cackling. Price was banging around in the kitchen with Mrs. Roach. Nobody knew how he’d gotten dragged into that, but he seemed to be enjoying himself

On the topic of bringing the boys home to the fam oh my GODS thanksgiving

Ghost is not a dessert person. He’s never been a dessert person. But he had four slices of Mr. Roach’s apple pie, so,,,,,,,,, apparently he is actually a dessert person

Obvi Roach is good with all guns, but he was hunting with his dad and brothers by the time he was like six. He knows how to work a shotgun like he breathes

(Ahem being southern is why he’s so fucking stubborn btw if anyone was wondering)

Roach and Jackson both are religious Dolly Parton listeners

“DID U GUYS KNOW SHE WROTE JOLENE AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU ON THE SAME DAY—“

Ghost and Soap wake up one night because there’s a weird noise outside. They poke Roach awake like “???? what was that??” and he was just like “oh yeah the woods make noises sometimes. don’t worry about it. if something actually wanted to kill you, you wouldn’t hear it coming” and promptly passed back out

“Yea I’ve seen a skinwalker before” “FYM YOU’VE S E E N O N E ? “ “It was in my backyard?? Relax it just wanted the coyote that always tries to kill our chickens. I didn’t really mind”

Gaz suggests investigating a weird figure he saw in the woods. Roach laughs out loud and Jackson smacks him in the back of the head like “that’s how you fucking die you idiot”

“Y’all’re lucky we’re here to stop you from doing somethin’ stupid. Fuckin’ city slickers” “What did you just call me”

The deafening sounds of crickets and locusts puts Roach to sleep almost instantly every night. Ghost barely sleeps every time they visit.

”IT IS SO FUCKING LOUD IF ONE MORE BLOODY CRICKET—“ “Simon not everyone needs literal dead silence to sleep—“

No matter how many pillows he stacks on top of his head he can’t escape it

Oh. Oh. The Europeans CANNOT do southern heat. They’re passed out on the porch while Jackson and Roach and Roach’s brothers play football in the front yard

Roach makes killer lemonade and iced tea nobody talk to me

He has a rusty blue ancient pickup that he says is his baby. One of the wheels is misshapen and the bed squeaks dangerously every time they hit a pothole, but he won’t get rid of it EVER

Roach introduces Soap and Ghost to catching fireflies in jars with his nieces and nephews. They are. So in love with the concept.

It gets turned into a competition, because of course it does, and it looked like Ghost was going to win— but then the youngest of the participating children silently held up a jar that was too bright to look at and audibly buzzing from the amount of bugs inside of it. They cut their losses and embrace the fact that they’ll never be That Good

Southern👏 sunsets👏 there ain’t nothing like it

Soap has a sketchbook dedicated entirely to doodling Roach doing farm things

Roach had a horse he took care of in high school. Her name was Peaches and he literally cried when he found pictures of her in his room

Ghost LOVES the sweet old border collie Roach’s parents have. That dog has seen many a stampede, and he’s herded just as many. What a man. Ghost does not leave him alone Ever

gods fuck me bro I could literally talk about southern Roach F O R E V E R (idk if you can tell from the long ass post Jesus Christ)

good morning/ night/ 4am lmk if you want more of this

[obsessive-ego]

Pest of the west

Toonjuice x reader

Warning cringe

Gender neutral pronouns, pregnancy is mentioned once, also reader is forced to wear a dress

A shameless episode rewrite, swapping lydia for y/n and making it into a reader insert, I can not stress this enough, I just rewrote the episode to fit what I wanted, If this goes over well i might do more episode rewrites

Toonjuice takes you to the old west to goof off, and shit gets bad when an out law named bully the crud falls in love with you

"Come to the netherworld he said, it'll be fun he said, we'll go to the old west, you could use a good time, god" you grumbled to yourself, here you were handcuffed, wearing the ugliest, largest wedding dress you've ever seen in your life, hell, the size of the dress was the second reason stopping you from running from this cruel fate, the first being the groom. Not only were you handcuffed, your soon to be husband had a vice grip on your arm, a giant bull of a monster, Bully the Crud, you had no idea why this bastard wanted you, or why beetlejuice, scared out of his wits, ditched you to fend for yourself, all you knew was that you were screwed.

...

Finally, friday, it's been a long, rough work week. Between overtime, unreliable coworkers, and your bastard of a boss using you as a punching bag, you were beat.

Home again, you kick off your shoes, toss your bag and coat on the couch, and make the mental note to tidy up later. More importantly, you make your way to your bedroom, eager for the best part of the work day, changing out of your work clothes.

Passing the full-length mirror in your room, out of the corner of your eye, you notice the reflection wasn't yours.

"Hey BJ" you say casually, not bothering to look his way as you dig around your dresser for something more comfortable.

"It's about time you finally came around, babes,"

"Yeah, overtime again," you sigh

"Gross"

"Tell me about mister 'I don't have a job.'" You laugh, turning to the mirror to see that beetlejuice was gone.

"Huh," you mumble, scooping up your change of clothes. "Guess he had things to do?" You mumble.

Just then, you jump as the television in your bedroom turns on, loud static noises buzz from the speakers before an image settles on screen.

"Beetlejuice?"

Your television lights up showing a desert like scenery, with cactus, wired fences, cow skulls, and there was beetlejuice, dressed in cowboy attire

"That's my name, and cow poking is my game,Are you tired of the same old same old boring modern breather lifestyle?"

"Yeah" you chuckle

"Are ya in desperate need for a change of pace? Then mosey on down to the netherworld's wild west rude ranch, conveniently located in tombstone scareizona"

"There's a wild west in the netherworld? Like cowboys and stuff?" The ghoul had your full attention now, maybe sometime goofing off in the netherworld could do you some good, and the wild west would seem like something new and fun.

"Cowboys, cowghouls, just spout those magic b words, and we'll be ghost town bound"

what's the worst that could happen?

"Beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice!" You shout in a hurry, and in a flash you were gone, your change of clothes now abandoned on the floor where you once stood.

...

And there you were in the scenery you saw on your television, sand, cactus, cow skulls, all the cliches of an old west movie. Your work clothes now replaced with more appropriate attire, a black cowboy hat, with a matching vest, a soft blue coloured puffy sleeved shirt, with a dusty blue neckerchief, black pants, with a big skull shaped belt, and of course some big black boots, you look liked you walked out of freddy pharkas frontier pharmacist, but appreciated the wardrobe change, it was always so fun when your clothes changed when beetlejuice dragged you into the netherworld, it was something you grew to look forward to with each trip. Your adoration for the new look was short-lived as you glanced around, unable to locate your friend.

"Beetlejuice?"

Did he ditch you?

"Oh bury me~ on the lone prairie~"

The ground next to you shakes before beetlejuice's head pops up from the dirt and unearths the rest of himself. "Welcome to the netherwest babes! I'm your ghost host with the most, should you have any questions, I'll be sure awnser them, as obscurely as possible" the ghoul proudly proclaims as he struts away from the grave he pulled himself out of.

"So this is the netherwest, it looks fun"

"Of course, babes, it has everything an old west motife should have, sun, sand, more cliches, then you can shake a stick at," the ghost hollers, shaking a stick at a cow skull

"Sounds great, beej," you chuckle, grabbing his arm, eager to see the sights, and get your mind off your work week.

"And dont you worry toots, if you're fretting on being bush wacked by bad guys, you're fretting for nothing"

"Oh? You some kind of old West hero?" You chucke, amused by his sudden confidence.

"You kidding, babes? Nobody messes with the pest of the west, I'll show ya what I mean later, " he cackles leading you into town

"Pest is right" you smile

...

The two of you were having a blast, beetlejuice eagerly showing you the sights, dragging you around town, you both were laughing and carrying on, you really needed this after such a shitty work week, you could always rely on beetlejuice to change your mood for the better.

It was all fun and games until your ghost, with the most, got kicked by a horse into a trough of dirty water. You were trying not to laugh at him as you helped him out.

"This has got to be the closest thing I've taken ta a bath in months," he grumbled

"It's surely an improvement." You laugh, hoisting your friend out of the water,

"Excuse me" an unfamiliar voice interrupts the two of you "allow me to introduce myself" standing in front of you was a man shaped like a dartboard and a tiny purple guy who's shirt was way too long for him.

"Howdy there stranger, The name's casualty, hop along casualty, I'm the mayor of this here tombstone and this is fester, we all in the market for a new sheriff, know anybody who'd be intrested in such a noble and HIGH paying job?"

"What-" was all you managed to get out before beetlejuice perked up

"DO I? Look no further, I am the slob for the job!" Beetlejuice lunges forward, eager to shake the mayor's hand before you pull him back

"Uh, beej? You a law man? Do you even know any laws?"

"Dont rob people"

"Oof, that's on me, I set the bar too low, but weren't we just here to have fun? And besides sheriff? Ya know, that's a lot of hard work, " the ghoul's one weakness. Maybe the mentioning of work would be enough for him to decline, and the two of you could go back to goofing off.

"WORK?! YUCK!" Beetlejuice shouts, you smile, there's the ghost you know and love more than you're willing to admit.

"Maybe the breather is right. Maybe the job would be too much for this tender foot to handle," casualty loudly proclaims as he and his sidekick walk away

"TENDER FOOT!?"

Great, now they had him. Beetlejuice was always a sucker for reverse psychology.

"Can a tender foot do this?" Beetlejuice proceeds to 'show off' his so-called slime shooting skills, loudly proclaiming he could shoot his hat before it touched the ground.

The hat went up into the air and beetlejuice went trigger happy, the ghost hit everything BUT the hat, you were smart enough to take cover, the ghost proved in a matter of seconds slime shooting was something he had to cross out on his resume, as he proceeded to cover the towns folk in slime.

But yet the mayor was still eager to hire him.

"Beetlejuice, come on, seriously? you're the worst guy for the job, you lie, cheat, steal, hell you're wanted in 5 different states, and 6 provinces, plus we just got here, why would anyone want you to be sheriff? There's obviously a catch, think about it, " you pleaded with him, your words fell of deaf ears, beetlejuice was too excited with all the glory that came with his new title.

"Beetlejuice, I wouldn't do this if I were you -" You try again only to be shoved aside by the mayor, who was more than ready to slap that star shaped badge on Beetlejuice's chest.

"Congratulations, son, you're exactly what we're looking for!"

"This is a joke, right?" You groaned with arm crossed annoyed over the whole situation.

The mayor dragged Beetlejuice to the group of townsfolk who gathered in the street to see what all the commotion was about.

"Attention, yall, I'd like ya to meet our new sheriff"

The crowd cheered, and Beetlejuice drank in all the attention and praise being showered upon him, while you just stood there trying to put two and two together.

"Oh, I forgot to mention, bully the crud will be here at high noon," the mayor starts

"And he's gonna do terrible, horrible things to you -" Fester continues

"Great," you grumble, there it was, so much for a fun time.

A bell gong rings through the town, and in a matter of seconds the towns folk were gone, leaving only you and Beetlejuice standing in the middle of the street, you pull your phone out of your pocket, though you had no service, it still worked like a clock, time in the netherworld worked differently, though it was evening when you left, it was day time when you arrived, your phone always acted accordingly, it was weird, and you didnt understand it, but you werent complaining.

"Noon," you say in a whisper, your stomach now turning with dread. What the hell did beetlejuice just sign up for?

The ground rumbles, you grab the ghoul's arm out of nervousness, and in a sandstorm cloud of dust a pig pulled carriage charges into tombstone, making a hasty hault in front of the two of you. The door swings open, and there stands what you can only assume is bully the crud, a big bull of a man, snarling and staring down the two of you.

"I'm looking for trouble," he growls

Beetlejuice snorts "never met 'em, you know anyone by that name babes?" The ghoul gives you a nudge. You shake your head

"That ain't what I ment, that was a figure of speech! Which one of the two of you are the sheriff?!"

You clamp your mouth shut, you werent gonna rat out your friend or take the blame. Beetlejuice did the same.

Bully huffs through his nose before grabbing you by your neckerchief

"You better spill -" in the rough movement of grabbing you, your hat got knocked off, your eyes no longer hidden in shadow.

"You better, better- why, arent you a pretty little thing" bully sets you down, and hands you your hat "why you ring my bell little meadow muffin, hows 'bout you give ol'bully a kiss" you cringe at his change in mood and utter out a "what?" More confused than anything else, not to mention disgusted.

Beetlejuice quickly pulls you away, a tad angry over how this overgrown hamburger was now hitting on you, HIS best friend.

"I'm the sheriff round these parts, and this here is my deputy." The ghoul snatches your hat from your hands and roughly puts it back on your head.

"I never agreed to that," you grumble, adjusting your hat.

"YOU'RE THE NEW SHERIFF?!" the bull bellowed, followed by a fit of laughter

"And who might you be?" Beetlejuice puffed out his chest, squaring up to the monster

"I'm bully the crud, the meanest ombre that ever licked a law man," he shouted

"Ya know you look a lot bigger than your eight by tens. Were you sick on picture day?" Beetlejuice laughs, pulling a photo from his pocket

"Enough small talk, I came to run you outta town, and that's what I aim ta do." The bully snorts

"Alright, bully, make your move," beetlejuice snorts reaching for his slime shooter

In a matter of second, the monster grabs beetlejuice with one hand, tightly wrapped about his gut, squeezing the afterlife out of him

"Nice move" beetlejuice croaks

"Wait!" You shout, dead or not, that's got to hurt

Bully drops Beetlejuice, his attention now on you

"Sweet little meadow muffin, ya change your tune about giving ol' bully that kiss?" He coos, quickly making his way in front of you and grabbing your hands. His voice was much less harsh when addressing you. It was nauseating.

"Ugh," you flinch. You'd prefer the same hostility he's shown towards beetlejuice over this 'sweet' side in a heartbeat.

As disgusted as you were, this little exchange, it was enough of a distraction to get beetlejuice back on his feet.

In a flash your ghost host with the most pulls you away from the Bull's grasp

"Back off bovine breath," he snorts, jabbing bully in his chest. "I hope you dont mind me asking, but what's your BEEF with this town anyway? Cuz we'd kinda like ya to just MOO-ve along" with each cow related joke beetlejuice pushed bully back away from you, you bit your tongue, trying not to laugh, despite Beetlejuice's confidence, you werent too sure how dangerous this guy really was, and besides, beej was doing enough laughing for the both of you.

You remained silent watching beetlejuice roll on the floor laughing at his own jokes, that is until Bully has had enough of the ghoul's shenanigans and snaps and screams.

"NOBODY MAKES A LAUGHING STOCK OUT OF BULLY THE CRUD!"

Beetlejuice hops back to his feet and laughs

"Beej, I think you should get serious here," you urge. Yes, you know beetlejuice was a powerful ghost, but he was also a dumbass.

He snorts, "Come on, babes, you worry too much. This over sized hamburger is all bark and no bite, ya know what I mean?" Beetlejuice gives you a half-hearted shrug, turning away from Bully.

Of course, Beetlejuice wasn't as freaked out as you were, he wasnt the one getting kissy faces from a cow.

"Relax, babes, remember what I told ya earlier? Nobody messes with the pest of the west-!?" Beetlejuice freezes. While he spent his time ignoring bully and flapping his gums at you, the bull took his opportunity and painted a large yellow stripe on Beetlejuice's back.

"THE SHERIFF GOT A YELLOW STREAK DOWN HIS BACK!" A voice screams

were the towns folk watching this whole mess?

"You calling me a chicken?!" Beetlejuice screams back

"Boo" bully leans into him and whispers in Beetlejuice's ear

And that was all it took to turn your friend into a giant yellow chicken

Beetlejuice scrambled and clucked away from bully, hopping on the nearest horse and riding out of town.

"Fuck" was all you could say watching your friend ride out of view, you were now screwed.

You were pulled from the spot and hoisted up into bully's arms

"Now that I ran sheriff stinko out of town, let's have us a wedding♡"

"...I just have one question for you"

"Well sure there honey"

"What's the capital on Thailand?"

"What?"

"Its Bangkok!" You shout slamming the heel of your boot into bully's crotch.

Bully drops you and screams. You quickly scramble away, thankful that stupid joke worked.

Your freedom was shortly lived, you didnt get far, no building would let you in, citizens too frightened to what Bully might do to them if they were caught harboring someone he wanted, which was fair in a sense.

Bully pulls you back into his arms and laughs. "You should be more careful there, my little meadow muffin, you dont wanna damage the family jewels, we're gonna need em"

Beetlejuice wherever you are please come back.

...

As you were being prepared/forced to marry a literal monster, Beetlejuice was in the middle of the desert not too worried about you, back to his old abnormal self, arguing with a horse.

"So your not gonna head back to tombstone? What about your friend?"

"Y/n? They're fine, they're the toughest living thing I've ever had the privilege to scare" he waves his horse off, despite all the teasing the ghoul gave you he held a very high opinion of you and just assumes you could take on bully no problem. "They could take on a whole herd of Bully the cruds, no sweat"

...

"Y/n's sure taking their sweet time, I'm beginning to worry" Beetlejuice sighs

"I told ya, bully the crud is one tough side of beef. Do you have any idea what's gonna happen to your little friend if you dont run him outta town?" The horse nags.

Beetlejuice snorts, "Yeah, like I can see the future -" in a flash, Beetlejuice's cowboy attire was replaced with to resemble swami, with a big crystal ball nestled in his lap.

The ghoul snorts out a laugh

"Now let's see if I can get a clear picture on this thing" beetlejuice focuses on the orb and what he sees makes his stomach turn, not only did you fail on rescuing yourself from his mess, you were forced into marriage with that monster, your living status was now gone, you were barefoot and pregnant in a kitchen, and all because of him.

"Y/N! SAY IT AIN'T SO! Y/N AND BULLY ARE GONNA GET HITCHED!"

...

So here you were, hand cuffed, now gagged, in the ugliest puffy dress you ever seen, standing before a minister with you future husband who had a vice grip on you and no way out, you were trapped, you couldnt run, you could barely speak, every objection from your mouth was quickly muffled by Bullys sweaty hands to the point the bull gagged you to make things easier for this mess of a ceremony, if you could manage a few words you would have said the B word 3 times before this got this far. Your time was running out, and your hopes of beetlejuice coming to save you were getting slimmer by the second.

"We are gathered here today to join these two in matrimony, be there any man, or beast" the father gesturing to the side of the church filled with what you could only assume is  Bullys extended family. "Who feels that this here wedding should not take place, let them hold up their hand, or hove, or forever hold their cud," the minister laughs nervously

This was it. You were doomed, there was nothing you could do, you stood there staring forward, utterly lost in despair.

"GET ON WITH IT!" Bully bellows tugging you in closer. This had to be a nightmare, right? Any second your alarm would go off, right? Waking you from this disaster, right?

"That's it! The only thing left to say is, I now pronounce you cow and-!"

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE PARSON! I OBJECT!"

You whip your head around, knowing that voice anywhere, there he was, your knight in stinking armor, standing at the entrance of the hall, rushing towards you.

"This lil' thing is spoken for" beej spats before pulling you away from Bully, with a snap of the ghoul's fingers your restraints vanish, with your new found freedom you were quick to embrace him, silently thanking the stars he came back in the nic of time.

"How dare you try and marry MY fiance!"

"Your what?" You mumble

"Your fiance?! They ain't got a ring to prove that!"

"Oh?~" Beetlejuice grabs your wrist and shoves your hand in Bully's face, "then what's this?" Placed upon your middle finger was a very large, very tacky, bright green jewel on a black and white striped band, a ring that sure wasn't there 2 minutes ago.

"I-?!" The bully stutters

"You didn't notice? were you too busy forcing my little cockroach into this mess you couldnt be asked to see if they've been already spoken for, I bet you wouldnt listen to a word they said" each word the ghoul spoke he would jab the bull in the chest, he was really laying on the country twang, you couldnt help bit crack a smile knowing the danger of you being married to that monster was gone, not to mention Beetlejuice saying you were his fiance, it was cute and it made your heart skip a beat.

This mirth was short-lived, though, as Bully had had enough of Beetlejuice's shenanigans, with a snarl and a bellowing howl.

"NOBODY CUTS OFF MY NUPTIALS  AND GETS AWAY WITH! IT'S TIME WE SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

"Yeah"

"AND THAT MEANS ONLY ONE THING"

"Name it"

"SLIMESHOOTERS AT 60 PACES"

"YOU GOT IT!"

Bully stomps out of the church to get ready for the dual

Beetlejuice quickly pulls you aside

"Alright babes, let's get out of here, just say those magic b words, and we can amscray," he whispers to you.

"We can't"

"right- WHAT?! WHY?! - I mean, why? Cat got your tongue? Suddenly, you lost your voice? Or, oh no, dont tell me ya changed your mind and ACTUALLY WANT TO MARRY THAT CHUMP??" The ghoul grabs you shoulders and shakes you as if to knock some sense into you.

You brush his hands away "no, Beetlejuice, we cant leave, if we leave Bully is gonna destroy this town and everyone in it, I can't live with that on my shoulders" despite the fact that you hung around with a professional con man, you yourself were honest and kind, and to be the cause of such misery, you could never forgive yourself.

"Like I'm gonna lose sleep over that-" he grumbles

"Please beetlejuice, I'm asking you as a friend, and after you ditching me, I think you owe me" you gesture to the awful dress you were forced in, not to mention how if he was seconds late you could have been hitched to a literal monster.

"Fine" he grumbles

"Besides you're dead, what do you have to lose?"

Beetlejuice groans

"Also, can I ask one more thing of you, Beej? Can you get me out of this dress?" You tug at the tooling. You could barely move, and the fabric was quite itchy.

"Y/n! In front of so many people, and in a church! Well, if you insist, " the ghoul gingerly reaches for the zipper on your dress before you swat his hand away, clearly embarrassed

"I ment with magic." You sigh, not really in the mood for games

"Right, I knew that, just messing with ya," he chuckles sheepishly. With another snap, you were back in your cowboy attire

"Thank you, now, now what about bully?" You sneer

"Sit tight, babes, Bully's got a date with the sheriff"

"No, we can beat him together." You give the ghoul a light punch in the arm, still a little sore he left you behind.

...

Like any other western movie cliche, beetlejuice and bully square off in the center of town

"Please, for the love of god cheat," you grumble, watching this soon to be mess from the sidelines.

"That would be ideal, your friend there couldn't hit the ground with his hat," the mayor buts in to your mutterings

"But I think I have something dumb enough it might just work -" you muse before running off.

"This is it bully. It's time to separate the men from the bulls. There's no tomorrow. It's now or never, the cheese stands alone!"

"Quit stalling and draw!" Bully sneers, absolutely fed up with Beetlejuice's nonsense.

"Draw? I'm a little rusty, but I'll give it a go. " Beetlejuice snorts swapping his cowboy hat for a beret, pulling a canvas and easel out of nowhere

"Now I'm gonna need ya to keep that pose for the next few hours -"

Bully screams in frustration, ripping the canvas away from Beej and slamming it over head

Beetlejuice unfazed snorts. "I really get into my work"

"I'm gonna give you one last chance to draw beetlejerk, or else I'm gonna start without ya, NOW DRAW!"

Beetlejuice swallows the lump in his throat "I guess this is it, theres no turning back now"

"Hold it!"

"Y/n!" Beetlejuice shouts, glad to see you

"Hey Bully I've change my mind about marrying you!" You shout

"WHAT!? Babes have you lost your mind?!"

"You have?! Oh honey I'd knew youd come around♡"

You run into the center of the action and with Bully distracted, you toss beetlejuice a different pistol

"Shoot!" You shout

"OH!" Beetlejuice fumbles with the gun before taking clear aim and firing, but instead of slime, a red sauce came out, covering bully, you let out a sigh you didnt know you were holding, the fact that beetlejuice ACTUALLY hit bully was nothing other than luck.

"Huh?! BARBEQUE SAUCE?! GET IT OFF OF ME" Bully screams

"I dont know about you, babes, but I could eat." beetlejuice growls, scraping a knife and fork together.

Bully scared for his afterlife screams and scrambles out of tombstone, off into the sunset and out of sight.

"Thank god" you sigh, absolutely physically and emotionally exhausted

"We did it, babes!" Beetlejuice pulls you into a side hug

"Yeah" you chuckle

"Sheriff, we can't thank you enough." The mayor shakes Beetlejuice's hand

"Yup, bully the crud won't be bothering this town anymore, so long as you keep plenty of barbeque sauce on hand, but alas, it's about time I hung up the old slimeshooters" beetlejuice sighs

"WHAT?!" The mayor of tombstone drops to the ground and hugs Beetlejuice's knees."NO! dont quit, is it because of me, because I got you to take the job with trickery, dishonesty, and deceit?"

Beetlejuice snorts out a laugh "heck no  I like that in a guy, but no, I'm hanging up my guns for personal reasons, all this mud are ruining my boots"

The mayor sighs, "we lose a lot of them that way..."

"We should get going, Beej." You finally interrupt, desperate to get home and rest.

Beetlejuice perks up. "So babes, how's bout a thank you for your hero, huh?" Beetlejuice  leans into you, wiggling his eyebrows

"A 'thank you' to the guy whose fault I almost married to cow?" You snort out a laugh

"I came back in the nic of time, didn't I? Come on, come on, come on~" the ghoul teases, nudging his elbow into your arm.

You yank beetlejuice by his neckerchief pulling him close to your level, that was enough to get him to shut his mouth, and in an instant, you give him a quick, soft kiss on his cheek.

Letting him go, he remains stunned. You give the ghoul a light punch in the arm

"Come on, beetlejuice, let's go home"

"...Right"

It was odd, everytime you've shown beej kindness or compassion, he would always go off saying it was 'gross' but this time that wasnt that case, he remained silent, which after the day you had, you were fine with that.

Bonus

To be honest, you were exhausted, between a rough work week and that whole emotional nearly married to a monster thing. You nearly passed out when you returned home.

But now all that was behind you and you were home again, safe and unwed.

In the netherworld, the ghoul who dragged you into the situation/ saved you was laying awake in his bed, hand gingerly placed upon the cheek you so quickly kissed.

Yes, beetlejuice has kissed you multiple times, but as a joke, sort of, but this? You kissing him? With genuine feeling?

"Gross" was all he could utter, hand still holding the spot where your lips met his cold face.

[pinejayy]

Striker Headcanons

Some SFW and NSFW Headcanons of this sexy man my lord.

SFW

Striker was quite harsh when you guys first started dating, he didn’t want any of that lovely dovey couple stuff. Such as no hand holding, no cuddles, no kisses and no nicknames. Honestly you were double guessing yourself why even be with this guy.

But as time passes by you grew onto him. He absolutely adores you now. He always wants to be by your side. And yes he’s still quite harsh with you, but he’s toned it down. He’s more like playful rude with you.

But if anyone dares to flirt with you or even lay a eye on what’s his he’ll give them a slow painful death. No one and I MEAN NO ONE can take away his prize.

Striker loves giving you kisses, especially around your neck. He loves the way you react. Especially the little whimpers and giggles. “Stop that tickles!” You would giggle out, and it would always make him smirk.

You like using cute pickup lines on him! “You're under arrest! For stealing my heart.”

Since you’re his prize, he loves to spoil you rotten. Buying you expensive gifts and he loves taking you out on dates. He definitely loves showing you off to the other imps.

You on the other hand get flustered when he shows you off. A sexy man showing you off? I mean who wouldn’t get flustered.

You love the way he talks to you. “Come on sweetheart, let daddy treat you.” It gives butterflies. It makes your knees weak.

LIKE HIS VOICE AHHH!!! IT MAKES YOU WEAK.

A lot of nicknames!! He loves calling you Sweetheart, that’s his main nickname for you. But he also calls you Sugar Lips, Babe, Darling, Sweet Cakes, Hot stuff and My Love.

You also have a few nicknames for him. Honey, Amor, Baby, Dreamboat, Hot Stuff, and My Cowboy. But person favorite nickname to call him is “Daddy” you love his reaction whenever you call him that.

He loves to cuddle you now, he can’t get enough of you. He loves you. He loves your smile, your laugh, your eyes and the way you smell. And with cuddles he can hold you close against his body and fully take you in.

He loves giving you kisses! He can’t get enough of your lips against his. It makes him feel complete.

He’ll always protect you, protect his prize. And if you were ever to leave him he’ll make you regret it. So you better not leave him, unless you have a death wish.

NSFW

Remember when I said he loves your kisses? Well he loves kissing every inch of your body. He loves dragging his tongue against your warm soft skin. And the way you whimper out makes him hard.

He wants to grab every part of your body. He either wants to squeeze you or run his fingers all over your body. Feeling every curve.

His kisses are filled with passion, he loves the way your lips move against his. How soft your lips are against his. And when you guys are making out he loves to grab your thigh and squeeze it making you gasp and also making it a perfect opportunity to sneak his tongue inside your mouth.

Considering his voice makes your knees weak he uses this to his advantage. He loves to talk dirty with you. “How about you ride me Sweetheart.”

Overall Striker is a rough top. He’s loves to mark you and that includes biting, scratching and love marks. And when you guys go out in public you better not cover those marks, he wants people to see you, he wants people to see what’s his. And if you do cover your marks he’ll make sure to punish you.

Striker always puts your pleasure first. Yes he’s rough but not selfish. He especially loves going down on you. He loves hearing you moan his name. “Mmm Striker…” It makes him feel proud, and the way your eyes roll back makes it even better.

Striker is a very kinky guy. He loves using rope. He loves tying you up. And when he does tie you up he’ll make sure to blindfold you. He’s a huge tease! So buckle up buddy!

This guy loves blowjobs. Give him one when he comes back home from a long day of work and he’ll love you. He loves the way your head bobs up and down into his shaft. He’ll also be a dickhead and push your head down more. Smirking to himself if you choke or gag.

When you guys are making love he’s usually on top. He loves to whisper things against your ears. “Come on Sweetheart, you’re doing a good job for Daddy.” And this would make you go crazy, crazy for him. And when you’re about to finish he would whisper again. “That’s right Sweetheart. Cum for me. Cum for Daddy.”

He loves choking you, he loves it when you’re begging for him. But he always makes sure he doesn’t hurt you as bad. He doesn’t want to accidentally snap your neck.

And for whenever you’re a bad little imp he’ll make sure to give you a punishment. This could either be rough sex or edging. Depending on his mood.

His favorite thing is when you wear his Cowboy hat. Just the hat. He loves seeing your naked body with his hat on, it just makes it better. And he’ll make sure you won’t be walking properly for the next few days.

Striker loves to hold you whenever you guys are done with the dirty deeds. He loves praising you, he tells you that you did a good job. He’ll hold you close and cuddle you. He’s great with aftercare.

Overall Striker loves you okay, yes at first he was quite rude to you but now he can’t get enough of you. You’re his everything and no one is going to hurt you. Not on his watch

[hopelesswritergall]

“Take a hat, give a ride.”

CW: p in v unprotected, riding crop, a lot of degradation, a bit dumbificiation, oral sex both ends, fingering, name calling. Afab reader lmk if I missed stuff!

Taglist: @lovelykhaleesiii (I’m becoming an Aegon girly more every day, your fics are a big reason) @daenerysapologist @aemondtarqaryens @howyouloveyourdragon @simp-aholic lmk if you want to be added!! @queen--kenobi

Aegon was the cowboy that was a worker on your parent’s ranch. If he wasn’t looking after the cattle, he was teaching you how to ride a horse.

You were walking alongside him around the property when you suddenly grabbed his cowboy hat and placed it firmly on your head. Aegon stopped in his tracks, grinning smugly as he turned to look at you.

“My beautiful girl...” He sighed, “Now you’ve got some riding to do, and not the kind you do on a horse.” He purred. He knew you didn’t know the cowboy hat rule. He planned to use this to his advantage.

“What’s a..cowboy hat rule? That’s what you said right?”

“Oh darling, aren’t you aware yet?” Shaking his head, Aegon chuckled."If you were to wear someone else's cowboy hat, it means you have to give them a ride," he explained. “And since you just took my hat… I’m sure you can put one and two together.”

“Oh..OH! Well I guess it is the rule after all..” You said, not really minding it. You have wanted to fuck him since you first saw him working on the farm, with no shirt on. You saw the swear in his chest.. that moment had made you hornier than anything ever could have before.

He led her to the stable before anyone could see their interaction. Once inside the stable he made sure to lock it. He wanted her, the ‘innocent’ daughter of his boss. Innocent his ass. He heard her in her room one time, moaning out his name as she fucked that toy. That thing was nothing compared to him. He’d make her scream his name, beg him to fill her up. Make her his own little breeding mare, he’d show her.

Aegon led her to a more secluded area, being surrounded by hay bales and pushed her against the wall. He started to touch her breasts through her blouse. When all out of nowhere he went to her pussy. Slowly tracing her folds through her jeans.

“You want this don’t you? Always wanted me, you dirty little slut. I hear you every time you fuck yourself. Moaning out my name like the whore you are.” He growled lowly while still teasing you.

“Please.. I want you.” You were already begging for him. How cute.

“Pathetic slut, but don’t worry.. you’ll get what you deserve.”

He started to unbutton her pants and slide them off completely, tossing them aside. He licked his finger before going back to your entrance still covered by panties. He pushed his finger against it and loved seeing you in agony. He was pleasing you, just not as fast and as much as you’d want right now,

You started to grind against his fingers, wanting more pleasure.

“What’s this? Do you want more? Does the little slut want more?”

“Y-yes.. please..”

“As you wish” With that he tore your panties and what was left he slid it off.

“Spread your legs for me.” Aegon commanded. You couldn’t help but obey, wanting him to touch you everywhere.

Aegon had a look in his eyes that could only mean on thing. You were about to get the best time of your life.

He knelt down and started to tease you by licking your thighs before moving on to your cunt. He started slowly, just going up and down. But he varied it with sucking at your clit, adding a finger or going inside with his tongue. Anything to give you pleasure, to eventually make you scream his name.

You moaned as he sucked at your clit, his touch gave you goosebumps.

“Oh god..” you said as you were whimpering at his touch,

“That’s it love. Cum for me, make a mess.” He teased her. With two fingers he found her G-Spot and kept hitting it while he teased her clit. The moaning became louder as pleasure came in overload.

“Cum for me.” Aegon said, more demanding this time. With one final push against her G-spot, you arched your back and cried out with ecstasy as you had your first climax of that day.

“That’s right, so obedient for me…” Aegon said as he was licking your cunt that was dripping with juice.

“You taste like heaven.” He licked his lips.

Aegon smiled triumphantly as he pulled away. "But now my darling it is my turn," he growled, undoing his jeans and freeing his thick erection.

“What, you didn’t think you’d be the only one getting pleasure now would you?” Aegon said while stroking his erection.

“N-no of course not… it’s only fair..”

“Right, come on, make yourself useful. On your knees.” He commanded you. You felt the need to please him, after all he did just gave you an amazing orgasm.

"Open wide," he ordered, pushing the head of his erection past your parted lips and into your waiting mouth. He groaned at the feeling of your lips around his member. He increased the pace and his own climax didn’t take long. He erupted all into your mouth.

“Swallow it.” Aegon said while grabbing your chin making you look up to him while swallowing.

“Good girl.” Was the praise that followed after you showed your empty mouth.

“Now let us get to the fun part.”

“Do you trust me?” Aegon asked as he eyed some rope hanging around a screw on the wall. As you followed his gaze you knew what he wanted to do. You were open to it, wanting to try new things. “Yes, I do.”

He grabbed a riding crop. He ran the crop down your back making you feel the leather. He ran it over your crotch and ran the tip of the crop lightly over your wet folds. As you let out a noise of enjoyment he swatted the crop so it came down on your clit.

“Do you like how the crop feels?” Aegon asked while checking for any signs of discomfort or resistance.

“M-mhm I-I do Aeg.. I-it’s just a lot.” You said lost in the pleasure.

“Mmm that’s good.” He replied with a satisfied grin.

He used the crop with carefulness and precision , hitting just the right spot to send waves of pleasure flowing through your body while not causing actual harm.

You whimpered as the crop danced across your sensitive skin, driving you wild with desire.

"Such a pretty little slut," Aegon murmured, trailing the tip of the crop along your inner thighs before returning to your swollen clit.

"You love being treated like this, don't you?" he asked, knowing full well that there was no way you could deny it after what he just saw.

You nodded weakly, unable to speak due to the pleasure coursing through your body.

"Good," Aegon continued, increasing the pressure on your clit with the crop, causing you to cry out in ecstasy.

"Now spread your legs wider for me," he commanded, and you complied without hesitation.

“Please Aegon! Just take me! I need you inside of me! Please I need you to fill me, to complete me!” You were begging him by now, he liked to see you in this state, begging him to please you, for him to take what’s his.

“Awww does my little slut want my cock? Does she?” He teased you

You whimpered, unable to form words as you felt the head of his cock press against your entrance. You barely managed to nod.

That was all the confirmation he needed, he drove his hips forward and pushed his length into your tight entrance with one swift motion.

You cried out with pleasure at the feeling of being filled by his massive cock.

"Good girl," he growled, gripping your hips as he began to move inside you at a rapid speed.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, holding onto him tightly as he fucked you without mercy or any signs of stopping.

"Such a filthy little slut," Aegon whispered near your ear, the action making you shiver with goosebumps, kissing your neck and biting your fragile skin.

"You love it when I fill you up, don’t you? My personal little slut" He grabbed your throat while pounding into you.

Aegon withdrew from you, before slamming right back in with full force. Making her cry out and hold onto him for support.

"You're mine now," he growled, "my little slut to do with as I please."

You moaned audibly , not able to contain your pleasure as Aegon continued to pound into you relentlessly.

"Say it," Aegon demanded, his voice low and dangerous.

You hesitated for a moment before finally admitting.

"Yours," you whispered, your voice barely being heard, but it was enough for Aegon.

Aegon grinned, knowing he had broken you completely.

"That's right," he growled, increasing his pace even further

"Such a good little slut," Aegon added, smirking as he felt your walls clench around his huge cock.

"Just like I knew you would be. Always teasing me with those short shorts and tiny tops. I should’ve done this a long time ago.”

Aegon grinned wickedly, feeling your walls clench around his cock as you climaxed.

“There we go, my little slut. Does this feel better?” He made sure that despite the degradation you were in fact still enjoying it. He wouldn’t have continued without it.

He felt his own climax coming

“Gonna fill you up nice and sweet, how does that sound? Something you can wrap your pretty little brain around?”

“M-mhm! Want you to.” That was the green light he needed and he came inside. He stayed inside for just a tad longer before pulling out.

“You were so good for me love.” He said as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. He grabbed some tissues he had in the stable and cleaned you up to the best of his abilities without touching your now even more sensitive cunt.

“You’ve earned the hat my love. It’s all yours.”

[hannahbarberra162]

Can't Fix Fix A Broken Heart

Now on Ao3

All chapters

This is my first OP fanfic. I love the Whitebeard Pirates and I wish Whitebeard was my dad. I HC Ace does sometimes talk like Luffy but only around other WBP and / or people he feels very comfortable with. TW: reader has significant trauma, will be explained in later chapters. let me know if you like it!

Synopsis - you are an anxious bar cleaner with a practical but otherwise uninteresting Devil Fruit. You're free from your past - until today. Can your new friends help you? Or do they just want to keep you for themselves?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Letting yourself through the backdoor of the bar, you sighed heavily to yourself. The bar was more destroyed than usual - and that was saying a lot because it usually looked like a hurricane had come through and destroyed half the place. Looking at the few remaining kegs of booze on the shelves behind the bar, you could guess why. It looked like there had been quite a rager last night and it had gotten rowdy. Taking another deep breath, you went to get the broom in the cleaning closet. Waiting around wasn’t going to get the bar any cleaner. “The Brothers Bar” had gotten a reputation for being able to take whatever damage the customers decided to do, and you weren’t sure that was a good thing. 

The rays of sunshine streaming through the windows highlighted the dust in the air. You opened the unscreened windows as wide as you could to let in the refreshing, cool morning breeze. Like you did every morning, you put on your work apron and started by sweeping up what you easily could. It was a way for you to survey the damage done the night before and mentally prepare yourself for the tasks at hand. Sweeping up the broken glass, debris, dirt and was that a pineapple fruit crown? You looked about and in the corner, there was an immense pile of broken table legs and cracked table tops all in a heap. What had happened? A table throwing contest? Just one more thing for you to do. At least they were in a pile.

After you swept the small stuff into a dustpan and threw it away, you walked over to the pile of debris. It would be easier to clean the floor once all the large furniture was out of the way. Walking over, you saw something unusual - a large black boot sticking out of the pile. You carefully peered closer and it seemed the boot was attached to a leg. Sucking in a gasp, you slowly reached out to touch the leg. You had never seen anyone in the bar in the morning - the brothers always cleared out any patrons at the end of the night. Was the person dead? Would you have to deal with a dead body? You hadn’t seen anyone dead in a while and always hoped it would be a while longer. 

Your questions were quickly answered as your fingertips touched the smooth leg sticking out of the pile. The leg jerked back, and the person attached to the leg let out a huge yawn. Arms dusted in freckles rose out of the pile as a young man sat up and did a large morning stretch. Your eyes widened as he reached behind him with lingering sleepiness and reached for a black cowboy hat with some faces on it. He yawned again, put it on his head, and looked at you with a crooked smile on his handsome face. 

“G’mornin’”

You stared at the younger man. He had…slept in that pile of broken wood? He didn’t even seem confused or upset by his waking circumstances? He was starting to sit up, mildly scratching at his unclothed chest and stretching his torso. He seemed perfectly at ease and started brushing wood shavings off of his shorts. 

You backed away instinctively - anyone coming near you was enough to have you taking a few steps back just in case. A moment later, he looked at you again and smiled guiltily. You didn’t know what to say or do, so you did what came naturally: you laughed. A huge belly laugh - the kind you hadn’t made in a long time. He looked back at you surprised and flashed a genuine smile that made him seem much younger. 

Now that the young man was awake, you thought you recognized him. He was very handsome - dark black hair hanging in soft waves framing his face, soft dusting of freckles, big bright eyes looking your way. But what identified him for you was the “ASCE” tattoo along his arm and the giant Whitebeard tattoo across his entire back.

“You’re…hmm….Fire First Ace, right?”

“Yep.”

“Why are you here?”

“We’re on the island getting supplies for the Moby Dick.”

“No, I figured that. I meant, why are you in this bar right now? You should have been kicked out with everyone else last night.”

The young man shrugged his shoulders, seemingly unperturbed by the circumstance.

“I fell asleep and I guess no one saw me, so here I am.”

You didn’t really know what to say to him. He just…fell asleep? Usually the bar was raucous and you couldn’t imagine sleeping in a pile of lumber. You glanced at him sitting on the pile of rubble and he looked so….young. He was staring off into the distance not looking at anything. He looked a little lost and sad and cute and a bit like….but you didn’t have time to think about that right now. You generally were a solid judge of character and you had a pretty good feeling about Ace. Ultimately it didn’t matter since you had work to do and he didn’t seem to be interested in causing you harm for the moment. 

“Hey, get out of that pile. If you sit down at the bar I’ll make you my most amazing hangover cure.”

“Who says I’m hungover?” Ace said with a hand over his eyes, shielding them from the light.

“Just a hunch after a few hangovers of my own,” you said smiling again. “C’mere. I’ll make you a drink and then I have to get back to work. You can stay here for a few.”

Ace did one more stretch of his back and started meandering over to the bar and sat on a bar stool. “Sheesh,” he said, running his hand on the back of his neck. “I don’t remember us doing such a one over on this place. It looks like a shipwreck.”

You hummed but you were already behind the bar, grabbing the ingredients you would need. Lemon, honey, vinegar, chili peppers, seltzer, and of course, your secret ingredient. Mixing them all together, you handed the young man the beverage in a clean glass, which he accepted. You also handed him another glass of plain water.

“What is it? Looks like shit” Ace asked warily, swirling the beverage.

“Tastes like it too, but it’s the best hangover cure around. Chug it, then drink the water. Wait 5 minutes and tell me you don’t feel better.”

Ace must have decided the headache was the worse of the two, so he tipped back his glass and chugged the beverage. Afterwards, he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and stuck his tongue out making a face. “Absolutely disgusting!” “Yep, now the water.” He grimaced but chugged the water as well. After he was done he handed back the glasses and was still sticking his tongue out. You chuckled lightly and started to clean them behind the bar.

You couldn’t help yourself, he reminded you so much of one of your brothers. You teased him saying “you know, if you keep that up your face will get stuck like that.”

Ace grinned and said “haven’t heard something like that in a long time. So, what’s your name anyway? Since you already know that I’m Ace.”

“I’m Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, and thank you for the drink. I do actually feel better already.” You smiled warmly at him and moved back to the floor to start the real work of the day. 

“Do you need any help?” Ace asked, tilting his head to the side. “I can see how clearing this would take you all day. You’re…not very tall, I can’t imagine you lifting all that. Besides, you look pretty tired.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know I’m barely below average height on my home island! And besides, nah, I’m OK. Just sit for a few more moments and let the drink work its magic.”

With that, you continued walking towards the pile of broken tables and chairs. You held out your hand, crossed your index and middle finger and touched one of the pieces of the tabletop. Quickly, the broken pieces of the table flew together and combined themselves into their former state as if nothing had ever happened. You were a devil fruit user of a very practical fruit - the Fix Fix fruit. You had the ability to fix almost anything - tables, chairs, floors, roofs, forks, clothes, anything really. You had even started pushing the boundaries of your fruit and were able to “fix” broken bones and simple lacerations. You were how the bar went from destroyed to ready for business every night. 

Once all the debris was rearranged back into furniture, you looked back at Ace sheepishly. “See? Not a big deal. I do this all the time.”

Ace of course was known for having eaten the Flame Flame fruit - an interesting and useful fruit that had helped him become a famous Whitebeard Pirate with a huge bounty. By comparison, yours felt like the Loser Loser fruit. What was fixing some broken glasses compared with creating fireballs big enough to destroy ships and save your friends?

But Ace was transfixed on your work. His eyes were wide and he looked like he was watching you walk on water. You became a little embarrassed as he said nothing, so you turned away and started fixing the other furnishings in the bar that needed attention. 

“Is..is that your power? Your devil fruit power?”

“Y..y-eah. I know it’s not as amazing as yours but I can fix almost anything and it can sometimes come in hand-”

Ace didn’t let you finish your sentence before he was on his feet waving his arms and yelling

“DO YOU KNOW HOW HELPFUL THAT WOULD BE ON THE MOBY? OR EVEN ON THE MOBY JRS? Oh my God! We wouldn’t have to fix all those pipes! The pipes! Do you know how much time we spend fixing the goddamn pipes alone?! The sails wouldn’t require days and days of downtime to repair when they rip! We could fix the doors! The stairs! Can you fix broken Log Poses?! Do you know how many I’ve accidentally set on fire?! Come to the Moby please!"

Ace was clearly excited and eager to have you join in his happiness. But the noise of his sudden outburst made you flinch and shift your weight backward away from him as if getting ready to run. Your smile dropped and you looked at him with no expression on your face. Ace noticed your discomfort after a moment and held up his hands and said “hey, I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just thinking out loud about how amazing that fruit power would be.” He sat himself back down on the stool as if to show he wouldn’t get closer. 

You didn’t blame him, you were a jumpy person. “It’s OK, I just haven’t seen anyone so excited about fixing tables before,” you shrugged and tried to lightly laugh off the awkwardness. You didn’t want to upset him - there was no telling what could set off a pirate. Especially one as strong as Ace. You wanted to show you weren’t upset with him - and you really weren’t. You were thankful he acknowledged your discomfort and settled down. So you decided to allow him to complete Step 2 of the Complete Hangover Cure if he so desired.

“Would you like to take a shower? It can also really help with hangovers, opening the blood vessels and all that.” 

“Hmmm…not too sure about that one.”

“You…smell…not great. You slept on the floor of the bar. There was a literal pissing contest here a few nights ago. I highly suggest you go shower. Come on, I’ll let you into the place upstairs.”

Ace narrowed his eyes, seemingly trying to determine if you were trying to catch him in a trap or use him in some kind of way. You must have passed the test because he agreed and bounded behind you as you led him up the stairs to your small apartment.

The Brothers were letting you live above the bar for the moment. It was great because they barely charged you any rent and you didn’t need much. It had a bedroom, a bathroom, and a very small living room big enough for a comfy chair and table, which was more than you had in years. Even though they were not always expressive, you thought they did care for you in their own way.

You let Ace into the apartment and showed him where clean towels, soap, and combs were. You really had to get back to work, so you told him just to come back downstairs when he was done. You also mentioned that you had half a loaf of bread on the table and eating some would be the final step to cure his hangover.

“Aren’t you worried I’m going to rob you or look through your things?” Ace questioned as you started to walk towards the door. He was giving you a strange look, like you were trying to trick him.

“No? I don’t have anything worth stealing. I don’t have any money or valuables. I mean, I would be annoyed if you stole the book I’m reading but I can always borrow another copy.” You left Ace in your apartment and went down the stairs. You heard the water running down the pipes so you knew Ace had at least started the shower. After his shower, you’d tell him to leave and come back when the bar was open - you’d be long gone and the Brothers could deal with all this nonsense. 

You were reflecting on what a strange morning it had been, but things needed to be done. You were really behind schedule now after dealing with Ace all morning. You started cleaning again when you heard knocking on the thick wooden door at the entrance of the bar. You looked at the clock - it still wasn’t close to opening time and the Brothers all had keys to the back door - so who was it? 

With a groan, you pushed a heavy bar stool towards the door. Since the Brothers owned the bar and had never hired anyone but you, they had put the lock where it was convenient for them. Which meant it was inconvenient for you since they were all at least two and a half feet taller than you were. Again, you were almost perfectly average size on your island! It wasn’t your fault all these people were so tall. 

After pushing the stool, you stood up on it and reached to open the old lock. “Just a second!” you called out, hoping the person on the other side wouldn’t push the door in causing you to fall. You heard deep voices talking on the other side of the door and for a moment you regretted opening it at all. But you got down off the stool and moved it aside. Grabbing the iron door handle and pulling it with most of your strength, you managed to crack the door about a foot open. 

There was a group of three men looking down at you. You smiled up at them politely and said “Hi, the bar isn’t open right now. You can come back again later when we are” and tried to shut the door.

One of the men, who had a funny hairstyle not unlike a pineapple, smiled back at you with half closed eyes and put his hand casually on the door, keeping it open. He said

 “We’re actually just looking for our brother-yoi. We couldn't find him and this was the last place we saw him.”

You weren’t sure what to do - you were almost positive they were on the same crew, but what if they weren’t? What if they wanted to hurt Ace? Wait, why did you care? Ace could handle himself. Taking the safest route, you asked “Who are you looking for?”

“Fire Fist Ace. He’s pretty short, black hair, freckles, charming, sleeps a lot.” The man, who you thought might be Marcott? Marcus? Something like that, you think you might’ve seen his picture a long time ago, held up Ace’s wanted poster to show a picture of him. 

“...um…” you were trying to stall for time to decide what to do. On one hand, you didn’t want anything bad to happen to Ace if they were bounty hunters or had a vendetta against him. On the other, you didn’t want to upset this new group of people you didn’t know. This is why you were the morning bar cleaner! You didn’t like to deal with conflict or these kind of issues. Why couldn’t one of the Brothers be here this morning? 

“Well, I’m the only person in the bar right now. I just clean here.” You decided to not exactly lie, but to obfuscate the truth just a little. It was true that you were the only person there - because you let Ace go upstairs to shower.

“Do you mind if we look around? We are getting worried about him - he can sleep in the strangest places.” The man wasn’t threatening you and he did seem genuinely concerned about Ace but you felt vulnerable and uncomfortable. You couldn’t think of a way to diffuse the situation easily so you just gave in. Maybe they would leave quickly?

“Sure, come on in,” you said as you pushed the door further open. The three men, politely waited until you moved out of the way and then followed you into the bar. All you had to do was hold out another 15 minutes and at least one Brother would probably be there to help you. The men were walking around the bar, looking a little puzzled.

“I thought Jozu accidentally smashed this table last night?” a man with a long mustache and black top hat said quietly to his companions. 

“Yeah, and Haruta definitely broke at least one chair.”

“They say this bar is magic and can fix anything inside it.” said a man wearing white with a yellow sash and a pompadour hairstyle with a grin.

“I’m not too sure about that,” said Pineapple Man while looking at you. You didn’t like him looking at you so you pretended to be giving all your attention to your cleaning. But when you heard the water in the pipes turn off, you glanced up out of habit. 

Pineapple Man followed your glance up and said with a small smile “Someone up there yoi?”

You swallowed harshly and felt a stiff pressure settle at the base of your neck. You were feeling unsettled and anxious. You just wanted everyone gone - and soon. Ace, these  men, everyone needed to be out of your comfort zone. There were too many people asking you too many questions.

“It’s not really any of your business. W-who are you guys anyway?” you settled on saying.

“We’re Whitebeard Commanders, I’m Marco. This is Thatch,” he said pointing to the man in white who smiled and waved, “and this is Vista,” jerking his thumb at the large gentleman who took off his top hat with a flourish. “We’re looking for Ace - he’s a Commander like us. Here, let me show you.” Marco then opened his shirt and showed a large tattoo that matched Ace’s, but Marco’s was on his chest. Your face flushed but you weren’t sure why. You’d seen many men shirtless before, but this felt weird. You were too out of sorts for people to be taking their clothes off.

Before you could respond, you could hear Ace hurtling himself down the stairs. Cringing at being caught not telling the truth, you went to go meet him at the door to the bar. Before he could enter the bar, you quietly said “Ace” so the others wouldn’t hear you “there are three men here looking for you.”

“Hmm? Who?” Ace replied, unconcerned. He was still shaking the water out of his hair, kind of like a wet dog.

“Do you know them? They said their names are Marco, Thatch and Vista.” 

Ace’s face lit up in a smile and said “oh yeah! My brothers! Wait till they meet you Y/N!”

His sudden shift in mood made you feel safer, but he also grabbed you by the forearm and brought you towards his brothers in the bar. You tried to recoil your arm but he held on tight. You were being pulled back towards the men - somewhat unwillingly. 

“Acey- boy!” Thatch exclaimed when he saw the young Commander. “To what do we owe the pleasure of your monthly shower?” he teased, eyeing Ace’s still wet hair.

“It hasn’t been that long,” Ace said, rolling his eyes. Ace started talking like an excited child about everything that happened thus far. It was a far cry from the cool and collected man of a few minutes ago.

“Y/N let me shower upstairs after I woke up here! I woke up in a pile of wood but she just laughed and wasn't mad at all. She was so nice, she made me this terrible drink that helped and I ate all the food in her apartment - literally, why don’t you have more food? Do you need more? All you had was that bread and I ate it. I feel kinda bad about that but now I feel great after you helped me fix my headache. And just wait until you see her Devil fruit powers! They could really help she can fix anything she fixed this shithole from everything we did last night in like two seconds….”

The longer Ace babbled the more anxious you were becoming. You started shifting your weight on your feet and trying to gently free your arm from Ace’s grasp again. You didn’t like being the center of conversation, you didn’t like strange men near you, and you most certainly didn’t like people discussing your fruit power like you weren’t even there. You wanted to run away and hide until they all left. You did eventually free your arm and you started to back away little by little from the group of men. You knew Marco saw you since he gave you an assessing look while saying “is that so?” and “interesting” at points in Ace’s story.

You heard the back door to the bar open and you breathed a sigh of relief. That had to be one of the Brothers coming in for the day. You still hadn’t finished everything but you just wanted to get away and come back when it was empty again. Oldest Brother came in, went behind the bar, filled a shot glass, tossed it back and grunted at you. He didn’t smile, didn’t say anything, and didn’t wish you a good morning. You hadn’t seen him for a few days since he had the weekend off. You felt better as things were going back to how they usually were. After his drink, he looked up to see the Whitebeard Commanders in the bar. He lifted the corners of his mouth until they weren’t locked into a frown and said “Vista. Long time no see, Brother.” 

Your day was not going to be getting any less weird it seemed.

[ftm-megamind]

a little late in my timezone but. happy javid thursday . i haven't written anything newsies in so long

david can't sleep tonight.

not exactly because he can't fall asleep, or has trouble doing so, but more because of the fact that he's waiting on something. and he hates when someone's late. his eyelids are getting heavier and heavier by the minute, and he's had a very stressful day, both at school and after it, and really, why is jack always late even though he's the one who picks the meeting time?

before david can dwell on it too long, he hears two knocks on his window, a pause between them. he sits up, slowly, so as not to make the bed boards creak and wake his siblings. he slips out of bed, checks just in case if les hasn't decided to follow him again, and then slowly approaches the window.

he's greeted by jack, though they don't exchange a single word, only nodding to one another. not the time for pleasantries. jack steps aside, offering david a hand, and helps him up. david closes the window, shoving a little wooden block inbetween it and the windowsill, so as not to lock himself out.

the two boys quickly make their way up to the rooftop, and david looks around the entire time, admiring how lively new york is, livelier than other cities at night, certainly.

when they settle on the rooftop, on one of david's old, rugged blankets, jack takes out a little glass bottle out of his pant pocket. he unscrews it and offers a swig to david, who contemplates taking the offer. after some thought, though, he decides that it's better not to. after all, what if his parents decide to check in on him later and smell alcohol on him? that would not be good. jack decides against it, too--drinking alone isn't any fun. he does light a cigarette, though.

after a while of sitting in silence, both looking at the stars, jack finally speaks.

"say, dave," he begins, taking a long drag of his cigarette, "if you could go to any place on earth, where would you go?"

david ponders for a moment. "home, i think," he mutters, smiling to himself. "old home, i mean. poland. warsaw."

jack hums, his gaze fixed on david.

"well, what was it like? i'm tryna start a conversation here."

david is quiet for another second. "i don't remember much. i was still little when we left. warsaw was big, and i thought that no city could really get any bigger, so when i came to new york, i was a little overwhelmed," he shrugs. "other than that... it felt nice to use polish outside of home. i really miss visiting my grandparents. they had a little cottage at a small town nearby. we would go at least once a month and go foraging. grandma taught me and sarah a lot."

jack listens, not daring to interrupt. he is in awe of how there's so much wonder and sadness simultaneously in david's eyes and voice.

"that's about it, i guess. it's not like it was perfect," david admits, omitting details so as not to ruin the mood. "that's why we left, after all. papa figured it was safer here."

jack doesn't pry. judging from david's facial expression, it's better not to. maybe he'll tell him one day.

"anyway," david carries on, looking to his side, at jack, relaxing once again. "what about you?"

jack snorts. "c'mon, you know what i'm gonna say. it's far too obvious."

david snickers too, and shoves jack gently with his shoulder. "yeah, obviously it's santa fe, but say some more. like, what exactly you would wanna do there."

"y'know, typical cowboy stuff... i guess i'd find myself a gang and we'd find a nice hideout for ourselves, we'd shoot and rob the bad guys, run from the law... oh, i'd have a trusty horsey as well, 'course," jack lists off the top of his head, as if he's gone over the scenario a thousand times. which he most likely has.

david smiles at jack's boyish descriptions, and then takes a wager. "kinda sounds like you have all that. except for shooting and a horse, but that's still not that far off."

jack huffs loudly, nodding, a solemn smile on his face. "yeah." truth be told, he's been aware of this for a while now. he's kind of grown out of santa fe since the strike has ended, and he doesn't really mind it. not that he doesn't love fantasizing about it still, it's just more like a go-to daydream whenever he has trouble falling asleep. it's funny how long it took him to understand he doesn't need to run away to feel like he has a home. "yeah, i know. partly thanks to you, dave," he admits, shoving david back, far too embarrassed to actually look at him. seldom does he say such cheesy things.

"d'aww," david mocks, in reality his heart skipping a beat and sudden warmth spreading over his chest. "c'mere, you sappy cowboy," he ushers, wrapping his arms around jack and bringing him closer, holding him too tight to consider the embrace a friendly hug. thankfully, jack hugs back, enjoying the warmth and security of the embrace. yeah, this probably beats having a horse of your own and shooting people.

[mrsmandalorian]

blueberry muffins

- cowboy!joel x techie!f!reader

-part 2 of city lights, country nights

summary: After an early night, you and Joel decide to have something sweet for breakfast before ranch chores.

series masterlist/main masterlist/word count: 2.6k

warnings: 18+ mdni, reader is able-bodied, no outbreak AU, kitchen smut!!!, f!oral receiving, come eating, creampie, major dirty talk, kinda praise kink, groping, unprotected piv sex, no use of y/n

a/n: howdy, everyone! thank you so much for loving this series! 🫶🏼i am sorry for the delay in this part. this is my first time writing smut lol. i plan to add parts to this story and other sweet pedrito stories. i hope you have a great weekend! also, there will be more fluff in this series! i would love to hear your feedback or comments! - maddie

The rustle of blankets and movement was the reason you woke up. As you squint your eyes, you see Joel sitting up and checking his watch. You silently examine him: his hair is touseled to one side, and his clothes all wrinkled. He mumbles a ‘shit” under his breath as he glances back over at you. The sun was not yet up, but the morning dew laid a layer on the grass and surfaces. 

“Good morning, beautiful,” he says in his raspy morning voice once he sees you awake. “It’s about six o’clock, darling. I guess we slept outside last night.” He rubs your legs as you lean up and stretch, leaning over to kiss one another. 

“Good morning, cowboy,” you whisper back to him as you pull away from the kiss, leaning against his shoulder. “What’s the plan today?” You knew he had work around the ranch. It was fun to follow him around and help where he let you. You never expected to learn how to milk cows, especially not goats. Joel helped you get out of your comfort zone (in many ways…). 

“I was thinking we could get something sweet and a cup of coffee before I ask for your help around the ranch, darling.” He meets your eyes as he speaks to you with a slight smirk and a raised eyebrow. It was not just any look. It was THE look. The one that made your thighs squeeze together and goosebumps cover your skin. ‘Something sweet’ was not a pastry; it was you. You have two choices for your response: act innocent or speed up the process and skip the foreplay. 

“Would you like me to make some blueberry muffins?” You act innocent to his look as you enter the kitchen. Who could skip foreplay with this handsome cowboy? You two have not had sex in almost two weeks. It wasn’t uncommon for the two of you to sext each other. This man had purchased an iPhone because it was the sole reason for getting sexy FaceTime and pictures from you. You hear him follow directly behind you. “ I think we have all the stuff to make some,” you say as you look in the pantry, bending over a little extra, and you feel his eyes stalk you from behind. This was going to be fun. 

Joel clears his throat as he starts the coffee pot and turns on soft music as you gather all the ingredients and start the oven. He still stalks you with his eyes as you mix all the ingredients into a bowl. He is suspiciously walking closer to you as you mix everything. Soon, you feel his large hands wrap around your waist and his face nuzzled into your neck. “They smell good, darling,” he mumbles against your ear as he starts to leave a small kiss down your neck. His hands move up to cup your breast, which causes you to let out a little whimper. He presses his hips into your backside to trap you against the cabinet. Your mixing slows down as his hand wanders to play with the edge of your shirt. “Why did you slow down? Do you need some help, baby girl?” 

His hot breath on your neck made your spine arch causing your ass to dig more into his crotch. You could feel his growing member against your backside, biting your lip as you become a little playful. You grind your hips against him, making his hands grip you harder and chuckle. “You little fucking tease,” his accent becomes thicker with the sexual tension making the air feel tight. You couldn’t even focus on the task at hand with his member hardening against you and his hands wandering underneath your shirt to your bare chest. His hands pawing at your breast, which earned a small moan from your throat. 

“I do need help if we want to continue this, sir,” you say back to him, causing his hands and hips to stop. “Just help me pour this into the cups, and” Before you could finish your sentence, Joel had turned off the oven and placed the bowl of mix somewhere else. In a flash, he had his hands on your hips and lifted you against the counter. His eyes darkened as he gripped your neck and passionately kissed you, pulling your shirt over your head. His eyes are focused on your bare chest, grabbing one of the breasts with one hand as the other hand goes under your waist to move you more into his hips. He dips his giant finger into the muffin mix, smearing the cold mix onto your sensitive nipples. You let out a small moan as the cold air and mix makes your nipples harden. 

“Open,” his raspy accent commands you as he places his dirty finger in front of your mouth. You do as you are told to do so and suck hard on his finger, meeting his dark eyes with your own doe-like eyes. The intensity of the interaction causes Joel to let out a low growl as he leans over and licks your dirty nipples clean. One of his hands palms at the other tit as he sucks and bites the other and vice versa. The attention to your breast makes you arch your body more into him as you let out a loud whimper, “Joel, please,” you beg the cowboy.

The desperate look in your eye and the sound in your voice make him smirk. “Oh darling, I’m going to help you,” his hand runs down your exposed belly to the edges of your shorts. He watches how your body reacts to him as he bites his lip, “good girl, darling.” Your shorts and underwear were removed in an instant. Joel pushes you back a little, moving a few dish towels under you to make it more comfortable on the counter. “Fuck, I’ve missed this sweet, sweet pussy,” he worships you as he bends downs a little to get a better look. Blowing a hot breath on your soaking wet slits, you gasp and cover your face with your hands to hide the pleasure. You were so desperate for him and his body as you moved your hips closer to his face.

The act caused Joel to let out a low chuckle and smirk at your current state. He was just as desperate as you were for him to fuck you. “Such a good girl for me,” He praises as his hands caress your thighs, pulling your pussy closer to his face. He teases you with one quick lick against your folds, letting out a slight moan as he does. This man LOVED pleasuring you. He treated it like his favorite job, and he did it fucking perfectly. 

“Joel, please,” You let out as you whimper, pressing your throbbing cunt into his face. The action caused his nose to hit your clit, which made you yelp in pleasure. You throw your head down as you glance down at the man between your legs. He met your gaze with a smirk and started viciously licking your cunt as he kept eye contact. His tongue knew what the hell it was doing. Your body reacted to him with your legs wrapping around his broad shoulders, “Joel! Fuck me, please!”

Your words cause him to smirk, “Oh, I fucking plan on it, darling. I just want to taste and play with this sweet pussy first,” He chuckles, standing up and leaning over you.  He grabs your backside and pulls you in a longing kiss. 

You reach down as he continues to kiss you more intensely, rubbing his erection membe. Joel lets out a frustrated breath as he pulls away from your lips. Your hands struggle with his belt and jeans. He reaches down to assist you with one hand and pulls your hair back. “Such a desperate girl for my cock,” he says as he leaves himself in his underwear. You can see the stain of precum on his dark underwear. 

You nod in agreement with his statement, which causes him to smirk at you. “Tell me that you are, darling.” He whispers to you as he runs his fingers through the back of your hair, tugging slightly on it. 

“Please, Joel! Fuck me, please,” you begged again as you let out a whimper. He seems to be satisfied by your answer, pulling down his underwear. You grinned like crazy as you reached down to touch him. He grabs your hands in one of his hands, holding them together so you can't move them. He kisses down your body from your neck to your stomach, and he shows a little extra love to your breasts. His fingers, on the not occupied hand, ran down the same path and gently caressed your cunt. You whimpered out as he let one enter you, “Joel!” You fought back slightly as he continued to finger you, eventually riding his fingers to the same rhythm. 

“Such a good girl,” he praises and releases your hands, reaching to play with your nipples as his other hand pleases you. He continues his rhythm and positions until your body starts to react to your soon-to-be orgasm. 

“Joel, please may I come?” You asked him as you tried not to already come all over his fingers.  He gives you a nod with a big smirk as he continues to fuck you with his fingers. You leaned back against the counter and covered your face with your hands as you let out moans coming all over his fingers. 

Joel pulls out his fingers from your throbbing cunt, putting them inside his mouth. He lets out a satisfied noise as he makes eye contact with you. It does not take long for him to line his giant cock up to your throbbing cunt. He looks at you for consent, “fuck me, please!” You respond with. 

He enters you with a loud groan from him, holding onto your hips with his rough hands. He thrust hard and quick into you, causing you to cry out in a moan. “You were made for my cock, angel,” he groans as he thrust hard into you. It did not take long for Joel to be gripping your hips tight. He uses one of his hands to play with your very sensitive clit, “fuck, I love you.” 

You could tell that Joel was not going to last longer as his thrust started to be a little more sloppy as he continued. “Come in me, Joel,” you encourage him as he grunts in pleasure. He closes his eyes as he applies more pressure onto your clit as he speeds up his fingers and hips. You feel your sensitive cunt throb hard in the need to release as he keeps his rhythm on his thrust. 

You both move your hips together in unison as the air is filled with moans, groans, and skin slapping. “Fuck, darling. Going to have me coming like a teenager,” he says loudly as his legs start to twitch and his grip tightens a little on your hip. 

“Yes, Joel. I’m going to come with you,” you moan back at him. You both ride out your releases together as he lazily thrusts himself inside of you. He takes his time to pull out of you slowly. Taking a second to recover and leaning down to give you a sweet kiss. 

“Holy fuck, darling,” he chuckles and looks down at you as you lay limp on the counter. “That was animalistic.” 

You giggle and blush at him, leaning up and catching your breath. “It was, baby. Made up for last night, old man.” You joke at him as you wink at him. He wraps his arms around you again. 

“Could an old man do that or this?” He asks and picks you up, causing your legs to wrap around him. You roll your eyes at him, laying your head on his chest as he carries you into the bathroom. He sets you down on the counter and turns on the shower. “Let's get you cleaned up, and we can finish breakfast.” 

“You’re still an old man,” you joke as you get down to get into the shower with him to rinse off. “That sounds good, baby. Only if you make me some bacon.” You say as you lean against his chest inside the shower. He nods in response and kisses your head, helping you wash off.

Another thing this man took seriously was aftercare. He always rubbed your body and gave you plenty of kisses and love after any type of sex. “I love you, my sweet old man,” you say as you grin at him. 

You both help each other wash off and dry off once ready. He goes into the bedroom to get you out a pair of your jeans and one of his old t-shirts that you usually wear to work, along with his favorite undergarments. He gives you a smirk after you put on the bra and panties. “I have a very sexy picture of this set,” he smirks as he checks you out more. 

“You don’t delete those? Where do you keep them?” you panickedly asked him as you threw your hands on your hips. What was he thinking of having those still on his phone? What if one of the girls or Tommy was helping him with his technology issues and saw your dirty pictures? “I thought we talked about this, Joel.” 

“Why would I delete such a masterpiece? I put them in some hidden folder Tommy told me about. He didn’t see anything, but I asked him what he did with his.” He says as he starts to get dressed. 

“Let me see! How secure is it?” You grab his phone and look for the said folder. He holds his phone but not in a suspicious way as he lets you watch him show you where it is. He opens the folder to find close to fifty photos of you in your undergarments or birthday suit from pictures you sent to him, bedroom activity photos, or sexy FaceTime times he screenshotted. “you dirty fucking dog.” 

He rolls his eyes and lets you look through it. It was hidden well under your birthday passcode. You thought it was a confidence boost that he enjoyed viewing you like that. He has plenty of clothed and regular photos of you as well. 

After you joke around together, Joel returns to the kitchen to start breakfast. You finish up getting ready for the day as you smell the coffee and bacon from the kitchen. You follow the smell into the room as you watch Joel cooking your eggs and bacon. He hears you walk into the room, turning around with a grin. “Here’s some coffee, darling. The rest of the breakfast should be finished in a few. I put the muffins in the oven, by the way.” He smirked at you as he pulled the bar chair out so you could sit down with your coffee. 

Life with Joel Miller was heavenly. It seemed too good to be true sometimes, but it never stopped being good. You have been through some ups and downs in your relationship, but he made sure all the times you had together were perfect. 

After breakfast was finished and eaten, Joel got both sets of boots out. You both put them on and headed out the door. Outside, Sassy was lying in her favorite spot under the patio. She let out a happy bark as she ran up to Joel to go to work.  The two of you walked out to the barn to start a half day of chores around the ranch. Time passes quickly as you both fool around and work together well. 

Your time with the sexy cowboy was the happiest that you had ever been in your life.

thank you again for reading! let me know what you guys think! 🫶🏼

[redrosyrose]

Prompt: Telling Sirius - Jegulus - @into-the-jeggyverse - September 7 - word count:~481

As the door slowly cracks open ,Sirius walks eagerly inside ,followed by Remus trailing behind with amused countenance.It's been quite a time, since James called Sirius for "serious stuff" and agreed to meet in the Gryffindor common room.When James meant "serious stuff" it's telling his best mate ,or soon to be brother-in-law about him and Regulus.

They've dated each other for a whole year ,and yet Sirius still doesn't acknowledge anything.There were MANY hints they already threw him straight in the face,which include Regulus sit on James' lap or James intentionally give him a loud smack in the great hall every morning. Eventually, they have to accept the fact that Sirius is too oblivious to get what they're implying, so it's best if they tell him.

"Prongs!What's the matter?",Sirius settled on the couch, lounging comfortably next to Remus while checking all over James' body dramatically.

"And why is my little Reggie get involved in this ?"He darts a doubtful gaze across the room ,where Regulus is sitting stiffly back-straight right next to James."Or did you guys pull a prank? Fucking shit ?!"He abruptly stand up with a variety of expressions ,which caused his boyfriend to roll his eyes.Of course,Remus soon notices that they're into each other since James was still planning on how to woo Regulus.

"Actually"James said timidly ,also attempting to avoid Sirius confused gaze."We're going to tell you something."His tongue suddenly become bigger in size,as if they invade his throat ,preventing him from revealing any word,James' eyes wandered to meet Regulus',he always better than him in telling "things".As James shoots Regulus a pleading look,which is his weapon.While he's fumbling with his words and searching for help,a familiar but also sweet voice fills the air.

"James and I are dating."Regulus said out loud,followed by Sirius' brows quickly furrowed and his jaws are on the floor.

And they receive all the worst scenarios they planned before,which is Sirius immediately givingJames a punch right on the face while shrieking "PRONGS,REALLY?!I've been a devoted,loyal friend to you ever since, and what do you give me back,SHAGGING MY BROTHER."As they're chasing each other around the room,all the pillows in their proximity take turns to leap in the air and each blanket is currently used like a cowboy rope.

"This is going to last a few hours,isn't it ?"Remus asked with a jovial face turned to Regulus."It's a good signal he acts like that ,if he's really upset,he won't just chase around."

"I know Lupin."Regulus replied while rolling his eyes,yet he's failed to hide his fondness,Remus lightly chuckled "Want to finish the books with chocolate,Reggie

"My pleasure,Lupin."Then they're pacing out of the common rooms ,engaging all their attention in guessing their last book ending.They'll be fine.

[mrsarcherofinfamy]

●Hangman Adam Page●

_________________________________________

*Adam's POV*

"Hanger, seriously, you should talk to her. Instead of staring at her."

Nick hits my arm as I shake my head looking back at him. I look back over in the direction I was staring and see the most beautiful woman in the world. Y/N.

"Ummm Adam?"

My view gets blocked by Kenny sitting down right where she is standing across the room. I look at him as my smile drops.

"What's going on guys?"

They all start talking about tonight while I put my head in my hand, elbow on the table and start playing with my food dreaming about Y/N.

_________________________________________

*Y/N's POV*

1. 2. 3.

I pick up a win against Julia Hart. The TBS Champion. Earning me a championship opportunity coming up at the next PPV. I celebrate with the crowd before I head back to my locker room. I walk into my locker room and straight to my bag to get changed. I change into some bell bottom jeans, square toe cowboy boots and a dirty old Nascar shirt. I put my hair up into a bun and put my glasses on. I shove the rest of my stuff into my bag and as I look up, I see Adam Page has a quick squash match. I decide to sit down and watch his match. He ends it quickly with a Buckshot Lariat and gets the win. I smile a little watching him celebrate before walking to the back. I turn the TV off collecting the rest of my stuff and grabbing my phone and keys. I walk out of my locker room and start walking down the hallway. I walk outside, walking past a group of people not paying attention to who they are and start walking towards my pickup truck.

_________________________________________

*Adam's POV*

"Who was that?"

I lean in near Matt still looking over at this chick walking over the pickup truck parked next to mine. Matt lets out a little laugh looking over.

"Why don't you go to your truck and find out?"

He lightly pushes me towards my truck, I shoot him a look than start walking over. As I get closer, I smell a certain perfume that makes me smile a little.

"Shit."

I see her drop her keys on the ground as she is trying to throw her belongings into her truck. I kneel down on one knee picking them up for her. I look up at her handing her the keys and she looks down at me smiling. I stare up at her wide eyed and without realizing it, I say the stupidest thing ever.

"Marry me?"

_________________________________________

*Y/N'S POV*

I giggle looking down at him, covering my mouth. He continues staring at me so I decide to make my move on him.

"Yes Adam! Yes I will!"

I take my keys from his hand, stick them in my pocket, lean down, cup his face and kiss him. He instantly puts his arms around my waist picking me up and kissing me back. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck slowly kissing him back. He slowly pulls back looking at me and I put my forehead against his looking at him.

"Guess you have to go buy me a ring now."

"Yes I do baby. Yes I do."

[loveinhawkins]

Part 1 ao3

A series of notes passed during private study periods in Hawkins High School Library, circa January—May, 1985.

A sheet of paper hastily ripped from its notebook, folded over with a crease down the middle.

—Harrington, did you just turn down that girl?

—What are you talking about?

—Hey, you can’t blame a guy for being nosy. You were the one deciding to TALK in a SACRED LIBRARY.

—If you heard us, why are you asking?

—Okay, sound doesn’t travel that far.

—Why don’t YOU tell me what happened considering you know everything?

—Wow. Touchy.

—Fuck off.

—Sorry. Thought we were just joking around. Didn’t mean to be a dick.

—It’s fine.

—You sure?

—I wasn’t ‘turning her down.’ She’s on the Yearbook Committee. Asking for photos.

—Too many pin-ups to choose from?

—Baby photos.

—What’s the problem? Did you come out the womb holding hairspray?

—No.

—Table it or ditch it?

—?

—It’s something my uncle says. If he asks me about stuff I don’t wanna talk about, I can either table it for later or ditch it completely. But if something keeps coming up and I keep saying to ditch it, then it automatically becomes a table it for later.

—That’s smart.

—Yup.

—Table it.

—Okay.

—? Why do you keep scoring out stuff?

—Sorry sorry. I can only think of baby photos now.

—Not against them in general. Feel free to talk about yourself, Munson.

—Uh-huh. I could hear the sarcasm in how you wrote that.

—Ha. No, really. I don’t mind.

—Well, lucky for you, talking about myself is my favorite subject.

—Lucky me.

—I thought I’d lost literally all of my baby photos. When I lived with my dad, the house got flooded and all of them were hit. Water damage. I had to get my books spread out on a radiator so the pages would dry, and that kinda worked for some of them. Photos were goners, though.

—That’s awful.

—Hold your horses, cowboy. But then when I moved to my uncle’s—we’re at the trailer park in Forest Hills—I saw he had all these photos stacked on a bookcase, and I thought they were all really old, like from when he was a kid and stuff, and some of them were, but he had whole entire ALBUMS of me. Way more than my dad ever had.

—That’s cool.

—You’re so verbose, Harrington.

—I meant it. It’s just. I was just thinking.

—About?

—That’s not why I—I HAVE baby photos, that’s not the problem.

—Don’t sweat it, dude, you don’t need to tell me.

—It’s just. Rebecca, that’s who was talking to me, she kept going on about how everyone else has already sent in a baby photo or, you know, a photo from when they were a kid, and she was excited about it, it’s a whole new thing they’re doing for this year. They’re gonna do a special layout, old photos next to current ones, you know what I mean?

—Afraid I’ve never been privy to the wondrous goings-on of the Yearbook Committee.

—She said it’ll look weird if I’m the only one not doing it. But it’s—I don’t know. I know I could just pick any damn photo and send it in, it’d get the whole Committee off my back. But I think I’d feel weird at the thought of the whole year getting to see—god, this doesn’t even make sense, like I don’t mind them seeing at a photo of me NOW, but I don’t. I don’t like looking at old photos, I never have. I don’t know why. Guess I just don’t like looking back.

—Fuck what everyone else is doing. They’re YOUR photos. Forget the precious ‘layout.’

—Yeah, that’s sorta what I told her, minus the ‘fuck.’

—If it’ll shut them all up, you could send in one of mine. See who actually notices.

—No way.

—Yeah, I was just being stupid.

—No. Those are YOUR photos. Save them for your own Yearbook. Sounds like your uncle could fill the whole thing with pictures.

—Wouldn’t put it past him.

—Shit, is that the time? The bell’s gonna ring in five minutes. I’ve done NOTHING.

—The horror!

—I’m blaming you.

—Honored to be considered a distraction, Harrington.

-

A scrap of paper, hastily dropped into the pencil case of an unknowing Eddie Munson as the bell rang.

—Thanks.