#guess I know what I’m making next!!!
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vector portrait for digital imaging class of RGB!! hey go read The Property of Hate if you haven’t already btw it’s an amazing comic by @modmad that i’ve been hotglued to since my junior year of high school.
big thank you to mod for giving their permission/blessing to wrestle with this horrible tv bastard in adobe illustrator for the express purpose of shilling him and this comic to my unsuspecting class <3
(edit: god okay pls click for fullscreen. hogy shit)
#tpoh#the property of hate#rgb#modmad#there’s a lot more i was planning to do w this but bleeeegggggjhhhh#i don��t own a laptop so i have to do all my hw for this class in the library + i live off-campus + i had office hours that day#7 hours in the library fighting with adobe illustrator on 5 hours of sleep and no food in my body said No You’re Done Now Actually#i have another project coming up that uses this one in it so i’m gonna get to make a diptych of this motherfucker next >:3#tpoh’s been eating my brain again as of late holy hell the hyperfixation clobbered me#what the fuck is my art tag. do i even have an art tag#my art#nox art#there. perfectly serviceable >:p#btw the working file name for this was actually horribletvbastard.ai so . now you know that i guess#yes the halo effect is intentional. no i don’t no how to use adobe illustrate. further questions may be taken outside#anyway THANKS MOD I LOVE YOUR BOY AND YOUR COMIC AND YOUR ART <33333
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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girl your hanahaki au is absolutely wrecking my shit i--- I don't ever read ongoing fics and this is why. I just cannot wait?!? But the waiting somehow makes it better too?!? I'm literally dead bro I can't I love it so much
hahah omg thank you !! I’m really happy to hear you took a chance on this wip and that you like it so much!
not to get on my soapbox or anything but you have given me a great corner to shout from
as a disclaimer I totally understand why people will choose not to read wips and I truly think you know your mental health and what you can stand to wonder about/think about/obsess over/NEED to know a conclusion for better than anyone else
BUT as a writer who almost exclusively posts in wips, people reading them before they’re finished is my life blood and I am so grateful and it makes the writing process so much more fun for me because I know at least someone else is invested in my brainworm of a story?? someone else is enjoying it and thinking about it and I’m putting a small amount of good into the world??
the best analogy I’ve been able to come up with is like:
when you read a finished fic you’re eating a whole meal and that’s great that’s so amazing (especially if you tell the cook you liked it after you’re done). and you’re literally always welcome to eat that meal whenever you want. finished fics are like standing dinner invitations: I am always happy to have you and I mean that very genuinely
but if you read a wip, you’re keeping me company in the kitchen while I cook. and that’s sort of priceless. in some instances, you can even tell me the food needs more spice and I’ll think about it and listen!!! you’re sitting on my kitchen counter as I bustle around my space and we’re talking about what I’m doing and also how I’m feeling and maybe how you’re feeling and it just feels like community more than anything else I’ve experienced in any fandom. like you’re with me in my space as I’m creating food I hope you like. we’re both invested and it’s amazing
and I think in general that’s why wips are a lot of fun and also maybe why the waiting between chapters is fun for you - you’ve suggested that I add paprika to the pot and you’re waiting and wondering if I will, and I’m laughing and hoping you like the soup either way but also wondering if paprika will work with the recipe, and if I can add a bit to it just for you while staying true to the dish I envisioned at the get go.
#asks#(stepping off my soapbox) very sorry for that I didn’t know I cared so much#but the truth is I want everyone to read wips all the time and I DO get why people don’t#because a story that remains unfinished haunts you sometimes and people enjoy that on different scales#but wips are amazing#as an author with many#but also as an author with more completed stories than wips but who also is apparently#known for having wips which like make it make sense I guess whatever#wips are amazing because my#favorite part of stories is talking with you about them#I cut out answering ao3 comments a few years ago so I could focus on writing stories#but I always try to answer asks on tumblr#about a chapter before I post the next one#I love it it’s my conversation space where I feel most comfortable#comfortable *#and I’m so sorry#this ask answer has ballooned way past what your very kind ask warranted#I just have emotions about this lately#waiting can mAke it better I promise - you make a potato salad and you don’t immediately eat it. you put it in the fridge#so the flavors meld#sometimes fics are the same way tbh if you can experience them like#that.#sometimes you read a wip and you’re like wow that could be a motif and then you watch I#that motif develop over a year and you get this satisfaction of being right and also being proud of the writer??#idk I could be talknin#out of my ass but I just. love Wips. all the time and always
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I need help again sorry
#let’s make pat’s belated bday set a group project#(it’s of course vminkook themed)#I’m helpless I know what the topic's gonna be but I just don’t know how to visualise it???#I hate doing the same layout twice tbh but these just fit best I guess#pat you’re not allowed to vote you’ll have to wait and see what it’s gonna be ahhdjf#I don't think I can start on anything tonight anymore my neck and shoulder are killing meeeeeee#it's gonna be next week's evenings project
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Chasm: Curse of Kaine (Vol. 1/2024), #3.
Writer: Steve Foxe; Penciler and Inker: Andrea Broccardo; Colorist: Brian Reber; Letterer: Joe Caramagna
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Chasm: Curse of Kaine#Cover Gallery#latest release#Scarlet Spider#Kaine#Kaine Parker#Chasm#Ben Reilly#a happy Hallows’ Eve Eve to you all!#*sigh* I sure do wish this series was longer than four issues#I’m even settle for one more to make five in total#it feels like we were only just starting to get somewhere and now everything needs to be wrapped up next month#??? maybe? hopefully? I don’t know what I’d like prefer: a more complete and hopefully satisfying ending or something that#indicates we’ll be seeing more of Kaine soon#but I guess I’m always hoping for the latter hahaha
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ha ha this is fine
#it’s 7am and I’ve barely had any sleep 🫠#like really. really. I was feeling so good. I was excited.#can’t this just go away until next week at least I mean come on#also WHY. THIS TOOTH HAS BEEN ROOT CANALLED YEARS AGO.#yeah this really is the worst possible thing that could have happened to me rn#the dentist makes me extremely fucking anxious#not to mention I don’t even know WHAT dentist I can go to on my current insurance so I have to figure that out too#it’s what I get for putting it off…..#anyway time to DoorDash orajel I guess because I’m on the verge of overdosing over the counter pain meds
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Val Is Pretty Sure She Might Be Losing Her Mind, more at 11
#okay so y’all. do you happen to remember Alcott Boy? the guy I had a crush on from school last year (or really the whole time I’ve been in#college honestly) who had Opinions on Little Women#yeah him. anyway I thought I was over my crush on him but GUESS WHAT it’s back and worse than ever#like I only have one class with him that’s once a week but guys guys I feel like I’m LOSING MY MIND like. I’ve never felt the urge to#actually go up to a guy and say ‘hey do you wanna go out with me?’!! like I would never actually do that but the urge is most definitely#there??? and it’s not even that he’s cute (although I mean I think he’s cute) but he’s really really intelligent and funny and very notably#always willing to bring up his faith in class discussions (and this isn’t really the campus for that) and I’ve always admired him for that#(this is also the boy that looked at something I wrote in fiction class and said ‘that’s it that’s what love is supposed to be like!!’ LIKE#) and I genuinely don’t know what to do#like should I be concerned that I feel this strongly so soon after The Boy?? should I be concerned that this might just be limerance???#my roommate has been offering to talk to him for me and ask if he’s single and is it insane that I’m actually considering it???#like if I’m going to now is the ideal time—I’ve already had my class with him this week and spring break is next week#and I’m certain he would never make me feel bad if he didn’t feel the same. but if he did wouldn’t he have said something by now? I don’t#know I don’t know I don’t knooowww#but I graduate in two months and I don’t want to regret it for the rest of my life
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#at some point you make peace with the fact that that's harry’s image#he is a womanizer#but god why do these stunts always have to be with the worst people ever????#i know next to nothing about her but i’ve seen the news about her and her latest dates#so it’s easy to assume she is not good news#but i really try to understand what’s their goal (and by their i mean harry himself and his team)#honestly after the mess that it was dwd and also holivia#and the way his comment about gay sex backlashed like so badly#and also after his grammy speech not being well received#i’d assume the best thing right now would be to keep things low and quiet#like he’s only touring right now nothing to promote nothing to be relevant about#so why not keep it this way#i just would think sometimes that would be for the best??? at least just for a little while#i guess i can answer my own question by saying they’re trying to keep his name relevant and keep people talking about him#just keeping his name in the news#so people don’t forget about him or whatever#maybe i’m being naive but not all press is good press#that’s more than clear now after how much hate he’s gotten in the last 7/8 months#so why do they always go back to the same route??#we are all tired - not just his fans - but every single person that’s perceiving harry is tired#people start to resent anyone who is in the media for too long#specially if said person keeps giving you reason to maybe not like them#i’m not even angry or feeling anything really - by now i’m used to it#but you can’t tell me that the same M.O. over and over and over and over again is good#this formula has already proven (many times!!!) to not always being the right answer#like seriously what's their goal?? because harry being a womanizer is more than well established by now#i don't think we need 'proof' of it for people to say 'oh it's just an excuse for the storyline of the next album'#we actually don't need any kind of proof anymore for the rumors to exist lmao#i guess all of this is me saying that i really wish i could have the answers i'll never actually have#anyway rant over i said nothing new goodnight
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Night Moves. Marvel Superheroes: Official Game Adventure (Vol. 1/1990), pg. 19.
Designer: Anthony Herring; Editor: Karen S. Boomgarden; Illustrator: John Statema
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Night Moves#Marvel Superheroes: Official Game Adventure#Moon Knight comics#Moon Knight#Marc Spector#Spider-Man#Peter Parker#ok I couldn’t as readily find the third book but you know what I’m chill with that because LET ME TELL YOU#the orientalism in this was /out of pocket/ and looking at the cover of the next one (titled «Night Life»)#it looks like the orientalism was only going to get more pronounced so I think I’m good for now hahaha#this work also had the audacity to make me read the sentence «the heroes do the city a great service by eliminating a crack house»#(pg. 26) with my own two eyes#because ????!? excuse me??? what in the Reagan era anti-drug psa aldhdksh#(I guess he had only been out of office for about a year at this point but still)#I know comics are propaganda tools but PLEASE keep it subtle hahaha#and even if the title isn’t a reference to the 1976 Bob Seger song of the same name I think the author might also be a Zeppelin fan#because he used the phrase «dazed and confused» (as in the title of the fourth track#on side one of Led Zeppelin’s 1969 eponymous first album) no less than three times (pgs. 6/26/55)#anyway#wild that they suddenly chose to use the Moon Knight costume I most associate with vol. 2#and hi Peter <3
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I regret to inform that I’ve been afflicted with the I can’t write about love unless it’s heartache syndrome
#ever since publishing two years ago people have been on my case about the next book whens it coming out what am I doing next#and I always find it hard to answer#most writers write from a source of emotion#sometimes that’s anger#sometimes grief#mine was longing#the deep melochonic kind that slowly creeps up and then settles#and it was longing#from a love that began to bud but didn’t quite blossom#but ever since marrying my husband#I can’t even string two sentences together#the creative juices in my brain have dried up like the Euphrates river fr#I’ve lost the desire for it too#I don’t know#I guess what I’m trying to say is#he’s become my peace now#that in sadness I don’t need to turn to my writing for comfort#and he makes me feel so loved that I don’t need to write about it to imagine how that must feel like#blessed blessed#so infinitely blessed#الحمدال��ه#.
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I started my job three years ago today
#it’s not bad per se#it’s not very fulfilling but it’s a job. I’m good at it. I’m fortunate#there are just. a million things I would rather be doing during the best hours of the day. sigh#I won’t be here forever (thank gd) but thinking about what’s next is just as terrifying#not sure I’m brave enough to make my life what I want it to be. I don’t even know what I want it to be#anyway. my life is happening I guess
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am i being sensitive for feeling uncomfortable by the fact that some people in my class act like in order to go to where i live they need to be armed like they’re going to war? they act like even going anywhere near it is a suicide mission and that going alone makes you a fucking idiot. like. i live here currently. i really don’t like the fact that the place i live is seen so fucking violently and it makes me feel uncomfortable and out of place from the rest of my class
#and we all know why they act like this because they act the same for where my school is because of it’s homelessness issue#idk i guess it makes sense why people act like i’m an alien when i mention where i live#idk i feel silly for getting my feelings hurt#i cant even mention that i live there at all either without it starting a conversation about how much they violently hate it#ugh i don’t know what to do. i don’t know#they class is taking a field trip to LITERALLY MY NEIGHBORHOOD next month and a lot of the class isn’t going because they think they’ll#instantly get killed by 10 homeless people on fent if they do and that our professors are stupid for not acknowledging how dangerous it is#like. i don’t know. i just live here. sorry your experiences living here 10 years ago sucked#or that you’ve fallen for propaganda from right wing grifters about big cities
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Mmm. Not having a good time right now, and probably still won’t for a little while longer. I’m just feeling a lot, having a lot of swings, and I’m just feeling so upset- oogh. Just not having a good time atm.
...Anybody got some Blorbo things, by chance? Might not do anything, but it would be nice. Or chatting.
#Anubis’s Chatter#Cyber’s Chatter#Man. I wish Krok/Wheeljack/etc were around-#Become best friend with Blorbo#It’s not the worst thing ever though#I guess this next bit is a bit... vent-y so sorry (nobody has to read if they don’t want to)#I’m already feeling upset (just a little) but then I know ‘oh haha girl/other gender things’ or whatever#And then I just feel sad because ‘oh yeah. stuff for that gender’ and it just reminds me of stuff#Y’know#I am a *he* and an *it* but then there’s always little things here and there that remind of other things#I don’t know if any of this makes sense- I’m not good with words#Ig a part of another thing in this little circle of occasional things is... dysphoria?#Is that what it’s called?- I’m not even sure rn#Little vent thing over- sorry for that- and to anyone who read it
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Huhhhh I know defeating the king is going to be a fake ending based on posts I’ve read but I’m fighting him and I’m only on act 2/4??? To be fair 1 went quick so it may be imbalanced but it makes it seem like I have not gotten far with my multiple days of staying up way too late playing cause I have time now
#in stars and time#I should probably maintag my liveblogging incase the person I know is interested in the game doesn’t want spoilers#this is a post i made#like what’s happening in those other loops there’s only like 5 settings here and most of them are the castle#I’m also gonna do some theorizing/going insane in the tag’s instead of making another post#that country to the north that everyone forgot Has to be important right it spjvdoiveupb picks my brain#and that language that is stated multiple times exists but makes your head hurt has to be the language of that country and the openphrase fo#that one door has to be the name of it or something it’s gotta be it was my first thought upon seeing it#and also siffrins memory issues gotta be because they’re from that country also like can anyone hear me#oh also the kings do you remember is making me think he was the king of that country#(do not tell me about if these are talked about more I don’t want spoilers for once)#(man indie timeloop games and making me go insane theorizing. well db isn’t a game yet but)#also looking through the walkthrough huh wag the other bomb component is back at the start!?!?o(-( okay I guess I’m going far back next time
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#rant time#ok you know what im literally done bc if you’re going to act like my friend only when it’s convenient for you you’re not my friend!!!#like!!! hello??? do you realize how not ok it is to treat people that way??? to make comments that lift them up and make them feel like#they’re your best friend and then ignore them for the next two weeks or whatever??#seriously stop being so fake!!! you should’ve just been a mature person and told me that you don’t want to be my friend anymore instead of#whatever this is#like just tell me if i did something wrong to you and we can move on#because do you understand how terrible it makes me feel every time i’m in a class with you and all of your friends and you act like you’ve#never seen my face in your life??? and i’m just sitting there alone when years ago you would always sit by me when i was sitting alone#because you said you hated when people sat alone#yeah right ok girl i believe you!!!#of course you don’t understand that because you’ve never felt that way#you just ditch your friends every one or two years because there’s new people you like better#well guess what??? if you keep being a crappy friend those people will never be your real friends#like seriously who are you actually friends with??? you’re so fake!!! you constantly talk crap about all of your new friends!!! and then#the second they’re in the room with you you act like they’re your best friend for life#like no they’re not!!! not when you’ve said stuff like how mean and braggy they are and how you don’t want them to get leads over me!!!#well guess what if you want to ditch friends who are actually good people then you’re stuck with mean and braggy people so deal with it#and it’s not just me!!! i feel like you’ve treated everyone like this and it’s so not ok#so anyway i know I’ll say all this and then the next time you try to talk to me i’ll keep acting like it’s fine#but just so you know i think you’re the fakest friend I’ve ever had and i hope someday you get a taste of your own medicine#sorry for the rant lol#lav speaks
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“they don’t want people to know that their daughter is a monster” 1) look who’s talking, and 2) literally what did she DOOOO that was so unforgivable, except be a teenage girl that was kinda insane over her comphet crush and have access to spells. i jst think, in this fantasy world, aurora rlly didn’t even… do… that much…. like, out of all the actions she did, she mostly jst kinda handed ppl tools and then it was out of her hands. jacks fucking traded his heart to her willingly (for a protection cuff that didn’t seem to do that much for the end of the story, anyway). i’m an aurora defender, because you guys see one (1) female character that’s not perfectly feminine and submissive and you start screaming
#memorie.txt#.bookthoughts#i’m sorry i’m not over this. ship evangeline and jacks all you want but you guys only hate aurora bc she also had a crush on jacks#& was funny and insane over it. you hate female characters the moment they aren’t perfect.#but JACKS gets a pass for being a creep a lot of the time and also being. like. an actual villain#now i personally love him at his worst and hate him in the spin-off#but anyway. proud aurora valor defender…#i hate that i read caraval when my brain was developing and now i have feelings over a shitty ya series#that i would otherwise not care abt#but god cursed me in this way and i’ll take to it with a religious fervor i GUESS#the lack of other female characters even having purpose in this series also makes me sad. say SORRY WOMEN!!!!!#author: stephanie garber#book: a curse for true love#what’s also frustrating is that i know most of the fans will age a bit in the next few years and realize all the flaws#like i did w the original trilogy#but it makes me sad. aurora i’m sorry you never got to be reunited with your twin. i’m sorry your ex fiancé killed ppl over you.#i’m sorry you were put in a coma. i’m sorry ppl hate you indiscriminately.#same thing w apollo. he’s jst a self-absorbed guy who was cursed 4 times#we never saw his personality and stephanie jst needed a quick villain for the third book she didn’t plan for
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