#grounded until youve felt the pain

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

remember how 13 said "i could always go back" to yaz at the end of revolution?

DOCTOR: I could always use the Tardis to go back, arrive an hour after you guys, change the timeline. Then we'd have more time together.

rare little look in her thought processes i think she gives yaz there. only in distress of course. like "i had a chance while it was broken". but these are some drastic measures as a first resort. like you could also just go visit you know

"change the timeline" you have to wonder if she would have if yaz had quit too (bet she wouldve), you have to wonder if shes done it before. changing little things, moments where she said too much, snapped too harshly, got panicky that they'd leave her over it

you have to wonder if "because you ask too many questions" was, like, tried and tested. if there was a timeline somewhere where she took them to gallifrey, or multiple. because she got fed up, or too lonely, or wanted to punish or shock or hurt someone like she was hurting. after orphan 55. "you think thats bad? you still have a chance! you can save it! stop wallowing"

she doesnt mind fudging stuff - "wiping the things you shouldnt have knowledge of", "maybe i'll nip straight to tomorrow lunchtime" - she has no qualms about smoothing over the rough edges, moments of boredom or loneliness or inconvenience. i wouldnt be surprised if she got in a fight with the fam once and rewound the entire day, them none the wiser

i wouldnt be surprised if shes done this enough times that she managed to postpone ryan and graham leaving from can you hear me to revolution. if "is this our lives?" was just all that was left from a handful of timelines where ryan decided to stay home / took graham with him / had yaz reconsider her home-tardis balance. "did i interrupt? am i interrupting?" did i get all the kinks out this time? youre not thinking of leaving are you?

skip ahead a year (or four) and how many times has she kissed yaz and erased it? how many times to get it right? how many times despite herself? how many relationships has she started and cut off right away, one week in, two months in, made it almost a year before the impending loss started to feel to heavy to bear and she quit, rewound, promised herself not again we're not doing it we're not doing that. you cant convince me it wouldnt leave traces. hunches, feelings, impressions, an uncanny amount of déjà vu

"that trick you did with shelley..." "what trick?" "making him experience his death" "hm" "how did you do that?" "want to know how youre going to die? thats a bit morbid, yaz" "just wondering if you can do anything else like that" "like that?" "like mind....manipulating....stuff" "i didnt manipulate him" "whatever you want to call it" "no. i cant" "you can talk to the master, right? in your head" "thats mind manipulation now?" "i dont know, how should i know? goes in the same category doesnt it?" "how about you tell me what goes in the category" "......" "if theres something you want to ask me-" "no nothing" "okay, well, good then" "good" "we've got an sos. want to go check it out?" "obviously"

wringing the last drop of time she can get out of a finite amount of months. spending all of it in the future, in the past, lying, regretting, rewinding, retrying. like theres a formula she could find that will let her have the joy without the pain. in the process deciding, for yaz as well as herself, and conciously or not, to sacrifice the joy in the attempt to avoid the pain

i think 14 looks like 10 bc 13 spent the last year thinking a lot abt river & time & the direction it flows & the cruel irony of even time travellers' inability to fix things

river the astronaut river the archeologist river the "did you think i was asking you to marry me or asking if you were married?" river the "youre acting like we've never done that before" 

[r-1-der]

warnings: smut, bondage, sensory deprivation, light choking, foreseeable back and shoulder pain from poor practices.

sevika with an insomniac gf.

a gf who wakes up up to multiple times an hour just to toss and turn all throughout the night, even with sleeping meds or even alcohol to cope with, and despite every effort sevika makes to have her as comfortable and sleepy as possible, gf still cant stay asleep for more than maybe some short hours without being disturbed for being a light sleeper on top of it all.

sevika will think youve been asleep for a good while but youre just lingering still trying to tipple over, the second sevika brushes your hair or kisses your head youre wide awake again.

"go to sleep," sevika murmurs into your hair as you fiddle and shift, pressed against her once more.

"'m trying..."

"not hard enough. stop moving."

there was a poor attempt at following her words, but still your hips twitched against her leg, comfortingly pressing into her over and over as sleep slowly began to claw onto you.

with months and weeks of this sevika had attempted everything to make you tired. fucking you senseless was her favourite, but it didnt stop your yapping, and didnt keep you asleep. herbal teas, pills, alcohol, soothing music, a fan, anything.

she decided maybe filling you with some obligation before bed would do you good. tying your arms behind your back and placing you on top of herself, a pillow separating your hips as yours arched back.

"shh... just let me touch you..." she would say as she groped and touched where she pleased. following whimpers and whines from her pretty girl it slowly morphed into a massage, despite wet spots and trails. but it soothed you to sleep faster than usual, and kept you asleep for longer.

eventually, with all the grinding on her leg, she bought herself a thigh strap, letting you fuck yourself whenever you woke up, let your grind down onto the comfort of being filled by her, until it numbed your mind enough for you to tipple back into sleep.

"kneel," she said one late evening. you had dressed for bed, and she had taken to tying your arms behind your back as she often did for your bedtime. you lowered slowly onto the ground, careful not to lose balance.

once kneeling she had you blindfolded and deafened, and with your hesitancy to choose whether you wanted stimulation or not she slipped a vibrator into your underwear and handed you the remote to control it on your own volition.

there were no instructions this time. normally she told you exactly how she wanted you. but not tonight. sevika simply had you sit just like that on the bedroom floor. for how long you werent sure of either.

the remote was left untouched, even with the throb of unsurety and anticipation.

you felt her footsteps vibrate through the floor on occasion, with no way of knowing if she was in the room or not, perhaps it was a passing vehicle and not her, or maybe the neighbours... how would you know.

"...sevika," you said softly, long after your knees had began to ache, even with the soft blanket folded beneath you. a hand brushed your jaw, her big warm hand. you closed your mouth again. maybe she hadnt moved since she blindfolded you after all. and you clicked the vibrator on, onto the lowest setting just to tease, just how sevika was.

you heard yourself loudly with your ears being clogged, with your breathy and quiet sighs. you clicked the remote again.

"aah..."

thick fingers traced your mouth, lightly prodding at them until they slipped inside to coat themselves in the spit on your tongue. god... you clicked the remote again, shifting your hips to have it touch you just right.

"mmh..."

she slipped her fingers in deeper, always so careful not to have you gagging and bring you out of your perfect daze, but they pressed in deep, rubbed onto the back of your tongue, perfectly down your throat.

sevika shifted- fuck she was behind you, not in front of you. her plush chest pressed into your back as her mech hand grabbed the remote from you, clicking it up twice and wrapping the arm around your middle, she had covered it in something, keeping the cold metal away from you, keeping it soft and cushioned and warm.

her hips humped against your ass, her fingers fucked your mouth, her lips trailed your neck. it made you dizzy, so dizzy as the fingers in your mouth forced your head back onto her shoulder, baring your throat, perfectly fitting her hand as wet fingers wrapped around it. her body covered yours so completely, draped over you and held you steadfast where she wanted you.

you pulled on the bindings about to cum, clawing onto whatever part of her you were touching. soft moans left you, whines, cut off whimpers... sevika squeezed your throat, her nose pressing against your jaw.

a whispy groan crawled out of your throat as your body seized and you finally came, twitching and squirming against her firm hold on you. the vibrations disappeared, and somewhere down the line you were pulled into bed, still blindfolded and bound, still deafened.

you were placed on top of her, arms secured behind your back as she draped the blanket over you. it felt impossibly good, and even if you didnt sleep, you werent aware of it this time. though whenever you began to move that night the vibrations in your underwear would start up again, and maybe some fingers would be bullied into you if that wasnt enough to stop your whining.

sevika kept you dumb and needy in the evenings, settled in servitude, and you slept soundly through the nights.

[jesterwriting]

scenario: stuck in a timeloop and the only way to restart is to die

pairing: sanji x reader, law x reader, ace x reader (separate)

contents: hurt/comfort, angst, gore, im serious about the gore tw, graphic description of death, post traumatic symptoms, maybe a touch of survivors guilt, breakdowns, time loops, if youve seen rezero you know whats up

word count: 1.6k words

note: okay if theres one thing i love, its angst and hurt comfort, and if there’s one thing i do when i write it, i go crazy with it. my hands were genuinely shaking while i wrote this. hope you enjoy! [evil laughter]

playlist: eleanor by cake bake betty

No matter how many times you died, you couldn’t help but scream when you woke up again. You lost count how many times it happened, and it wasn’t like there was any point in keeping count besides depressing yourself with your numerous failures. This was your power; horrible and nowhere near worth the cost of losing your ability to swim. With every death, you would restart back at a random checkpoint, beginning anew, able to change the way the timeline went. All it took was to die, and lord above, did you die. Sometimes it was quick, other times it was an agony that would haunt you for many loops after.

Your power left you lonely. Friendships you made in one timeline, didn’t exist in others. You remembered when you were young and greeted a friend from a past loop with a hug. Of course, they didn’t know who you were. They no longer remembered the adventures you experienced or the trials you endured, only you held those memories now. They pushed you away with a look of distress, and you cried for hours after that, burdened with the knowledge that whatever friendship you had before, was gone forever now.

You isolated yourself after that.

It wasn’t until recently that you found yourself with a crew, though no one knew of your ability. You hated talking about it, hated reliving each death again and again. Every time you felt strong enough to speak about it, you always ended up dying and resetting everything back to the status quo. You were surrounded by friends, but so completely, and utterly alone. It was a worm in your gut, chewing on you from within and tearing you apart.

Now, here you were. Dying again.

Failing again.

Your eye spasmed in your skull, the other nothing more than jelly in your socket. The taste of iron pooled in your mouth as you hunched over, organs squirming like maggots from the wound on your abdomen. Sobs wracked your body. With shaking hands, you scooped your entrails into the crook of your arm in hopes that you could put them back inside of you. They were slimy and warm, and you were reminded of eels, or perhaps hagfish.

Everything hurt. You were so afraid, you couldn’t breathe. There was a loud bang and a heavy pressure on your chest. Or maybe, your inability to catch your breath stemmed from the bullet that had pierced through your ribcage and into your lungs. When did that happen? You didn’t know, you didn’t care, all you knew was that you didn’t want to die.

Of course, you didn’t get a say in the matter. Before you knew it, your muscles were going slack and your body was crumpling to the ground. Blood poured from between your lips as your tongue wagged numbly in your mouth. If you weren’t careful, you might bite it off. It had happened before, and you died drowning in your own blood rather than to the slow drain of your wounds. Maybe, if you were lucky, you could have been saved then.

Not now, though. Your guts were supposed to be inside you, not spewed and steaming on the ground.

And, just like that, it was over.

You awoke in bed and screamed. With gasping breaths, your hands frantically felt the intact skin of your belly, and your bulletless chest. Though you were safe, the ghost of your pain lingered like a knife against your back. Sobs tore from your throat as you curled in on yourself.

It had been a long time since a death this bad. So lost in your own misery — again, again, it happened again, why won’t it stop? — you didn’t hear the door open until it was too late.

“Black Leg” Sanji

Sanji was across the room, scooping you into his arms before you were able to blink. You gasped and squirmed slightly as he rubbed your back. A part of you was still there, bleeding out on the ground, and your heart wouldn’t stop hammering wildly in your chest, even as Sanji murmured sweet nothings into your ear. Phantom pain gripped you, and your stomach clenched when you remembered just how slimy your insides were as you tried to put them back where they belonged.

“I’m here, love, I’m here.”

That only made you cry more. Your breath hitched as you gripped the back of his dress shirt in your fist and buried your face into the crook of his neck. You were hyperventilating, afraid that the bullet in your chest followed you into this loop, threatening to drag you under again. You died in Sanji’s arms once before, and the terror on his face had etched itself into your brain forever. It couldn’t happen again, you would drag yourself away to die alone under a rock if you could help it.

Sanji’s hand shook as he stroked your hair. “What happened? Tell me what’s wrong.”

Finally, you caught your breath and wiped the tears from your face. With a watery smile, one you were sure was nowhere near as convincing as you wanted if Sanji’s worried expression was anything to go by.

“I had a nightmare,” You said.

If Sanji knew you were lying, he didn’t say anything. He only held you while you desperately pretended that you had stopped trembling.

Trafalgar Law

Law was the last person who you wanted to see like this. He carried too much already. You were sure that he would crumble if he knew the weight you had been carrying right under his nose. Frantic, you pawed at your face to remove the evidence of your breakdown as if he hadn’t heard you screaming moments before.

“Hey,” He said softly, crouching beside you to gently grab you by the shoulders. Law squeezed, and you took a shaky breath and remembered where you were. You weren’t dying alone in the middle of nowhere, you were on the Polar Tang, with Law, somewhere on the Grand Line.

You sniffled and cracked a small smile. “Hey.”

Unwanted visions of your previous death assaulted you from behind your eyes. A sharp gasp tore from your throat as your arms snaked around your middle to hold your organs inside. It still hurt, why did it still hurt? You were safe now, it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fucking fair.

Gently, Law pried your arms from your abdomen and pulled up your shirt to inspect it. “I don’t see any external injuries…”

You watched the possibility of an internal injury flit across his face. Before the word ‘room’ left his lips, you shook your head and choked on another sob.

“I had a dream I died,” You admitted the half truth with the sour taste of bile on your tongue.

Law’s brows knit and he let out a small, “Ah.”

Awkward, not yet used to the affection you bestowed upon him so readily, he wrapped his long arms around you with a small pat on your back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“If I died, you need to know I would never blame you.” It came out of nowhere, but it was the only thing you could think to say. The truth was, you would blame yourself, you had a lot of experience doing that, though you thought better of saying that aloud.

Law didn’t say anything in response, his thumb rubbing gentle circles between your shoulder blades.

Portgas D. Ace

“What happened? Why are you crying?” Ace was talking before he even reached you, pulling you against his bare chest before you even had a chance to realize he was here. His scent filled your nose, filled your head, until you were hysterical and pulling him as close as possible.

“Was someone here? Did someone hurt you?” With his righteous anger, his body temperature rose as harmless flames licked your fingers. All you could do was cry, so captivated with the man in front of you, your death was all but forgotten.

“No, no, I’m okay.” You pulled back to study his face, your own stained with snot and tears. He practically glowed in the moonlight that streamed through your window. Even at night, Ace shone like the sun. Your clumsy hands found his freckles, sweeping across the bridge of his nose and down his cheeks to his lips. Flesh and bone, alive and whole. You sobbed harder, low keening whines ripping from your throat before you could stop them.

“Had- Had a dream you were gone.”

Ace pulled you tighter against him. “Oh, babe, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

With your fingers tangled in his hair, Ace rocked you back and forth, hushing you softly while you wished to tear open your ribcage and keep him safe inside your body forever. The only way to get to him would be to rip you apart, and even then, you would come back again, stronger than ever. No one would be able to take him from you. You had died too many times to count, faced pain time and time again, there was no torture you wouldn’t endure if it meant you wouldn’t lose your sun.

How many loops had it been? How many times have you had to watch Ace die?

You’d save him this time, you would make sure of it.

[gabessquishytum]

I saw the School teacher Hob/Mob boss Dream ask and immediately thought make it angstier.

What if Hob did try to contact Dream? Hob's a charming guy, never tried to rat someone out and has even been known to share a drink after a good throwdown. He tried official channels first. They didn't work. Fine. He wasn't expecting much, not with Dream being so important now. It hurt though, that he wasn't worth even a middle manager.

He tried unofficial channels next, tapping any people he knew that might be willing to pass on a message. The hurt grew more when all he got was silence. Was Dream ignoring him? Was something going down somewhere to keep Dream from answering? Hob waited.

Months later and nothing, no word or sign nor scrap of rumor. Hob's heart felt like it was going to break in two. There was one last option he could take. It wasn't something he wanted to do, but he knew a few sketchy dungeons Cori liked to visit. He knew he fit Cori's type. He could barter his body for a delivered message.

A few weeks more of silence and Hob decided it was worth the pain. Cori's sadism surpassed Hob's mild masochistic streak, but he knew that would work in his favour. He wouldn't enjoy himself but he knew Cori always kept his word.

Cori had always been envious of how close Dream and Hob were. The chance to fuck and hurt Hob wasn't something he was going to pass up, not when Hob was volunteering. To bad Dream was never going to get that heartfelt message, not now that Cori was Dream's most trusted lieutenant.

Hob waited. And waited. And waited.

Dream never came.

Dream had promised!

They had promised. I'll always have your back.

Hob's heart shattered. He didn't need Dream. He could survive without his heart.

Eventually, he fell in with Johanna. She helped him piece together enough of himself to do more than survive. He never should have followed her into that party. Now he was finally face to face with Dream and he could feel the still scattered pieces of his heart being ground into dust.

Dozens of messages and Dream finally deigned to show due to a stupid lie? Well, if he was fucked not matter what, he had some questions he wanted answered.

Hob laughed, hysterically. "You couldn't be bothered to give me the time of day when I got out of prison and called you for help! Why the fuck am I important now?"

Ooo yes, this is continuation for this particular mob!Dream and teacher!Hob post. I love the way youve spiced it up even more with some angst!!!

Of course Dream says something like "what messages? what calls?" And Hob laughs even harder because Dream is really bothering to lie to him? This is all too much. And perhaps Dream finally admits that he did get some of Hob’s messages initially, but he didn't want to have Hob dragged back into the mob lifestyle. He saw it as a chance for Hob to have a fresh start, and when the messages stopped coming through he assumed that Hob had taken the chance and moved on. Little did he know Hob was still trying to get in touch - particularly via Cori, who needless to say didn't pass any messages along and actively forbid the anyone lower down the chain from mentioning Hob at all. Hence Dream heard absolutely nothing about Hob until this rumour started spreading after the party.

Hob still doesn't believe him. Not until Dream orders Cori to be brought to the parking lot, and brought to his knees. Where he admits that he withheld information from Dream. Repeatedly. And took advantage of Hob’s trust in order to use him sexually.

It's a relief to know that Dream wasn't totally responsible, but Hob still feels betrayed and hurt. And now Dream is talking about rebuilding trust between them... is it even possible? Maybe. It seems like Dream is pretty much willing to do anything to get Hob back....

[smolweeblets]

Would you be willing to write either headcanons or a oneshot about working out with Yelena. My gay little brain wants scenarios to think of when exercising

Minor Injuries

Yelena AOT x Reader

Going to the gym was nice. The atmosphere was nice, not that many people at the time you usually went and everything was kept clean. The people at your gym were nice too, offering help when you seemed like you needed it, sometimes you even found the occasional sticky not stuck on some of the machines with little motivational quotes.

Yet yourself found one teensy little problem… Which was that you found yourself always being stared at by another member, a tall and lanky blonde that was always by the treadmills.

You could always catch glimpses of her, and her turning away quickly after you catch her. Honestly, you dont know why she was just… looming over you like that. Was she judging you? You really cant tell. It was very creepy.

After your initial impression, you tended to avoid her. She took the hint and left you alone for the most part but you still couldnt shake off the weird feeling when she was around.

You two never interacted, until one day you find yourself in a small accident.

It wasnt anything big really, you just accidentally dropped a weight in your foot. Yelena found you hopping on one leg like a maniac and you wanted nothing more than to melt into the ground.

“Are… you okay?” She hesitantly asks.

“Yep! Im- uh- just a small accident!” You grit through your teeth.

“Do you need help-?”

You suck in a breath before responding. “No, I swear im all good!”

“I insist, at least just sit down for now. Hopping help with the pain at all.”

Having no reason to object, you calm yourself down just enough to take a seat on the nearest bench.

The woman takes your foot and winces when she sees the area.

“Is it that bad?” You sigh.

“Its gonna bruise pretty bad. Wait there a bit, ill get some things to help with the pain.” Before you could object, she was already out the room, leaving you to your own devices.

“Here, this should be able to help. Try to bear with it for the moment yeah?”

[insert procedure on minor blunt force trauma im not knowledgeable enough to write]

“Ah- I do have to admit, I feel somewhat better, thank you” You offer a grateful smile to the woman.

“No problem, whats your name by the way? We seem to always go here at the same time, I notice you struggling sometimes.” You heat up at the mention that shes been looking at you.

“Yeah,” You chuckle awkwardly. “I see you staring at me sometimes, honestly found it a little creepy, but im glad to know youre actually nice. My name is Y/n, nice to meet you” You offer your hand to shake, she takes it but you can see shes also flustered to hear that youve noticed her staring.

“Likewise. I didnt realize that my staring could be seen as creepy, I apologize for that. I can see why youd be weirded out. My name is Yelena.” She shook your hand, and you couldnt help but notice how smooth her hand felt against your own.

~~~~~

That was the start of a peaceful little friendship between the two of you.

She helped you out and gave you tips as much as she could. And in turn you gave her a reason to do something other than run on the treadmills.

You both loved to talk about trivial topics, how your days have been going, something funny you saw, or even what you had for breakfast that morning. She was a nice company to be around, and she was around a lot.

Despite your first impression of her getting off on the wrong foot, you find yourself quite attracted to her, you push the feeling down as best as you can, but thoughts linger in the back of your head during each interaction with her.

~~~~~

“Gah, im tired. Im gonna go now, you have fun.” You sighed as you started to tidy your stuff.

“Nah, leaving soon too. You got anywhere to be later?” Yelena took a sip out of her water bottle and slumped on a nearby bench.

“Thats kinda random, but no, why do you ask?” You paused and and looked at her.

“Wanna get some drinks together? Weve been friends for a while but havent seen each other anywhere other than the gym.” Yelena smiled softly to herself.

“Sure, sounds lovely!” You grinned.

A/n: This is not my best work so I apologize for the quality, i hope you still enjoy 😭❤️

[delusion-of-negation]

I wish i could make more people see you the way i see you bc youre one of if not THE ONLY MOTHERFUCKER around here who Gets it. All of it. Like i rarely have to explain shit to you because you Get It. And yeah you may be rude or mean and lash out when youre hurting, but thats a thing everyone does past a certain point and aint nobody got grounds to think less of you when youve been thru goddamn hell several times over. I know shit sucks but i appreciate u being here for the time that you are.

it's exhausting, like, I feel like I live in a world mostly full of folks who've never even thought about stuff, and those that have just stopped thinking once they found some random moral code for saying X is good, Y is bad, suffer. the good place is one of really incredibly few things that went "okay, but everybody just needs loving and being loved" and even that framed it through being a better or worse person. and I feel like it's so rare to meet people who've actually let go of all the dichotomies and judgement and presumptions, and just wanna care about each other, like you. I haven't ever felt like I'm alone in my suffering, I know other folks have been through various similar and different hells, but I'm so alone in letting go of suspicion and grudges, and just being with people. so everybody just suffers more because nobody has the genuinely necessary trait of, like... I mean, you talk about prison reform and they go "what about the bad people, we need to put those somewhere" and it's like yeah, it's called a house. let them experience the one life they have. maybe if we have better kinda mental health care we could have genuinely safe, happy, loving spaces until the crisis passes and we know how to help them, it doesn't need to be forever though - nobody is a mindless killing machine. but it's like talking to a brick wall. everybody wants this villain to fight, no matter how much humanity they need to strip away to create it. no matter how many times it's shown it won't actually help reduce harm. it's just easier to demonise everyone. then whenever I'm suicidal like atm, it's me being a bad icky shit friend who just doesn't care enough to suffer the slow march to agonising death, through massive pain, for some hopeless pleas about it "getting better" when it simply won't, and they call in the abusive police force and abusive hospitals, to lock away the bad source of stress for them, no matter how much worse that leads everything to become. I wish I could just click my fingers and be safely in a quiet little house with some beanbags and games, to experience nice holidays and the people I love, before I go, but I simply cannot do that because we live in a shit world. it isn't fair.

[oh-its-souichi]

Neglect

Dabi x reader

Warning : this is filthy, death, angst, the usual

...

He was your ex boyfriend.

A former flame that burned out after the two of you stoked for fire for months carefully holding it in eachother trying to fan the flame, one at a time placing small sticks to try and keep it lit. The other person whimpering as it burned their skin.

It could never stay lit and one day you dropped it to the ground, stomped it out and left Dabi behind with the match in his hand.

He was one hell of an ex.

The way he pounded into you from behind wouldnt reveal that though. You were having quintessential hate sex, the closure every failed relationship needs.

It was perfect in that sense but there was the way he clung to you, holding you arms and legs a little too tightly or the way he kissed you like he was trying to catch you, reel you back in.

Something about it was too vulnerable for it to be hate sex. You tried not to feel it, tried not to let him scrape away at the wall you built so carefully around yourself. You built the wall for him, built it to shield yourself from what he is and what would inevitable catch up to him. It was selfish but you didnt want to be there as he decended further into hell. Couldnt bear to see shy tears fall from his eyes when he thought you were sleeping, the way his chest heaved in pain and the way he gulped down liquor like it was the only salvation, the only light that could reach him so far below.

You didnt want to watch him burn away in his pain, knowing there was not a damn thing you could do about it. So you cut your losses and left him behind. He wasnt a crazy ex, he never reached out to you or walked by your place. You knew how he was, he stalked his family. He knew their every move so when he didnt do the same to you- you felt pathetic and hurt. You felt like he didnt actually give a damn, he didnt really love you like he said through gritted teeth scooping you up with swaying drunk hands.

Not that he would remember saying those rush of words. If he had maybe you would have been worth stalking,

But you werent.

You ran into him, you were at a seedy club bobbing your head and drunk off your ass. You didnt have a lot of nights available to spend like this so you took advantage of it. Drinking and drinking until you were a sea of bliss.

Some guy came up and started to dance on you, you let him ignoring his hands until you felt them venture lower and lower. Your bliss was snatched away and you were scared. "I wanna see more" he whispered into your ear. You leaned away form him but found yourself slammed into his chest. Your fear crawled up into your throat and you stared desperately out at anyone hoping they would see.

No one did, you thought.

The man reached his hands up your dress, lacing his fingers around your underwear. "Stop" you gasped. That must have been the magic word because the man was gone behind you and replaced by someone familar, someone you loved. You immediately recognized the rough skin and the cologne of cigarettes and sweat. "Lets go, youve had enough" he low gravely voice said and you closed your eyes relieved.

You fell into his body and clung to him as he drug you gently out of the establishment with am arm protectively slung around your shoulder. He led you though dark winding hallways until you were outside, the winter night air nipped at your face. You tried to stand on your own, find your own way but you didnt. You took four steps away from him but found yourself turning around tears forming in your eyes.

He looked at you earnestly, with pain miserably bleeding from his eyes. He had his hands shoved in his pocket just looking at you. Not mad, not happy just looking. With a huff you ran back to him burying your face in his chest and sobbing.

He welcomed you in and wrapped his arms around you, holding you quietly as you cried. He buried his face in your hair and breathed in deeply, the scent hurt him reminding him of his loss. "Let me walk you home" he said and you shook your head.

"No I dont want to go home" you cried almost clawing at his shirt trying to find a way to sink yourself deeper into him.

Dabi sighed and looked down at you. He had missed you so much. He still kept the match buring in his hand in case you were to ever come back. Pathetically stoking the small flame. He hated that he was willing to wait. Hated how obstinate you were. Hated that you wouldnt come back, even as he held you now in his arms you werent his. He didnt blame you though, why would you come back to someone like him.

Someone so ugly.

He always told the others "my girls an angel" he would give them a wicked smile implying what he meant was sexual but thats not how he meant it at all. He thought you were a real time angel, a gift from whatever god above sent down. You werent a gift to him though. If anything you were his punishment from god. He could only watch you at a distance, heart bleeding over his feet. Blood pouring out and down him.

He would ache and bleed for you, you would be someone elses gift.

He fucked you now like he had something to prove. Railed you from behind to remind you how good he could make you feel. He knew you remembered. He could tell by the way you moaned, your eyes lazily, droopy and fucked out.

He loved you like that.

He loved you.

"Touya" you panted and he hissed the name once again foreign to his ears. "Im goanna cum, Im goanna cum" you moaned. Your body tensed up against him. You pushed your ass into his hips sinking him deeper inside of you. He grunted feeling a surge of pleasure rack his body as his dick bottomed out. "Fuck" he cussed. He was starting to come to an end but he didnt want to, no, he had to finish you off first.

He slowed his pace and slowly rolled his hips against you, grinding himself deeper and deeper. You cried out, tightening and tightening. He knew you were about to crash, the way you chanted his name and grabbed at his arm. "Faster, faster" you begged.

He shook his head. " no baby" he leaned down cooing into your ear. "It will take a few extra seconds but you'll fucking cum, I'd never let my girl go without." You groaned and he smiled painstakingly working himself into you.

Your legs started to kick and shake, you breathe rapid, moans sweet and desperate. "Touya baby, I love you oh my god I love you" you cried into the bed and he almost froze, choking on your words.

He was stunned, you never said that when you were together. Neither of you had but now you say it piss drunk and fucked out. His pace quicked and below him you celebrated screaming and gushing all over him. He slammed away at you. 'If you love me why did you leave me, if you love me why did you leave me' he thought. He laid his eyes on you and snatched your hair into his hands yanking your head back, a throaty moan leaving your lips, your body puddy from cumming.

He was fucking you really hard now. Stern and steady. You couldnt even moan just whine completely helpless beneath him. His sudden aggression taking you off guard but also turning you. You felt another orgasm build up inside you "touya" you whispered not able to build up your actual voice. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fucking take it" he spit. The hand that wasnt yanking on your hand grabbed a handful of your ass. He lasted for a couple more thrusts before he slammed his hips into you one last time and releasing everything into you with a choked moans. "F-fuck" he sighed gently rocking himself back and fourth savouring the pleasure that washed over him. He closed his eyes and when he opened them back up- you were drunkly smiling at him. "What?" He groaned sliding himself out of you and sitting on the bed lowkey watching his cum drip out of you. "Nothing" you smiled stretching out like a cat and crawling towards him curling up comfortably in his lap, your head resting on his chest. His face hardened watching you. Things were so easy with you, so natural. He hated you for leaving, for ruining everything for... you never told him the reason. One day you came moping into his apartment and said you couldnt do it anymore then walked out. Perfectly erasing him from your life like the penciled in mistake he was, he always had been.

His emotion swirled inside of him, swelling and swelling until it was a tsunami of rage ready to sweep through you and destroy you.

Until he looked down at your face.

Until his pissed blue eyes looked down at you bittersweet face, tears welling up quietly in the corners of you e/c eyes. His rage got swept under the rug and instead of bashing your head in he leaned down and kissed your lips again. Sweetly, desperately. He wanted you to feel him. You gasped under his lips tears streaming down your face. Dabi winced feeling a few of his own drain down his face. "I love you" he grunted and you only sobbed more.

You shook your head and put your hands on his chest gently pushing him away. "I cant do this" you said frantically. His heart dropping at your words. He never let his face show it instead he stared up at you for a second before sighing and getting up. He slipped his boxers on and headed out to the kitchen lighting a cigarette on his little gas stove. You trailed after and past him, fully clothed and headed for the door.

He crossed his arms and leaned against the counter smoking his cigarette and trying to keep his cool. He was going to let you leave, let you walk away again. Let you stake his heart and take it from his body again. Gladly he would let you though because you were his light, his love you were his-

"Angel" he said roughtly aloud. You froze at the door "do not fucking mock me right now" you spit and he put his hands up. "I wasnt baby, I wasnt" he wanted to be rough on you but suddenly he was to tired. He wanted to lay back down on the bed the two of you destroyed and smell you scent until it left again.

"You were!" You yelled.

"No I fucking wasnt!" He shouted back much louder a d stronger. Making you flinch

Dabi sighed and placed the cigarette in his mouth holding it between his teeth, walking over to the coach were a pair of his black jean laid strewn over the cushions.

Normally you wouldnt get this upset at him, normally you would just have told him to fuck off and leave but you stayed, yelling at him over nothing.

"Look" his voice altered by the cigarette "if yore goanna fuck off again then fuck off again but if youre goanna stay" he sighed and took the cigarette out of his mouth, flicking the ash onto the beat up wooden floor. "Then stop yelling at me and get the fuck over here" he said his voice wavering at the end, his vulnerability oozing from his tone.

You froze staring at him.

You tough guy act came crashing down and you ran back into his arms crying some more and more. He squeezed you tight resting his chin on your head. "Stop runnin from me" he said lowly hating the way if felt to be so open, like ripping skin off. Shedding layer of protective layer. His only armor.

"Youre just going to burn up and blow away" you cried stepping away from him again. He cocked his eyebrows in confusion. " the fuck that mean?" He spit and you threw your arms up. "Youre going to chase your fucking family to the grave. You'll do it to you'll ruin him, just like youve talked about and at the expense of what touya?" You said.

He tsked and turned his head, crossing his arms. He knew the answer, accepted it a long time ago. "At the expense of yourself" you finally said "At the expense of us"

Dabi grunted "my goals are a little more important then some stupid fuck, some dumbass "relationship" he spit immediately regretting the words. When he saw your shoulders sag he knew that was it.

You sighed and shook your head reaching for the door knob.

"Y/N fucking wait" he sighed but you shook your head and walked out, back out into the cold from whence you came. He didnt want you to walk home alone. Not this late at night, not in the dark but he had no energy to move. Instead he slumped into his room and colapssed onto his bed breathing deeply in, serenading his broken heart with your scent.

[parkersbliss]

My Reason | K. Brekker

pairing: kaz brekker x female reader

warnings: cursing? maybe slightly out of character?

wc; 2k

synopsis: kaz brekker makes a desperate attempt to protect you, but it backfires for both parties

prompts: 015: “You’re everywhere I go!” 020: “I just wanted you to be happy.”

a/n: kaz brekker: *breathes* me: I LOVE YOU YOUVE DONE NOTHING WRONG MY SWEET CHILD

Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List

—

You felt like crying.

Scratch that. You were going to cry.

You were going to cry and possibly throw something, anything. You wanted to grab a knife and chuck it at the wall repeatedly until there was a hole.

You wanted the wall to feel the same pain as you.

Like there was a hole in it.

Ironic.

Kaz Brekker, dirtyhands, the bastard of the barrel, shattered your heart. And he probably didn’t even know it or cared.

Kaz only cared, for one thing, money. You couldn’t blame him for that. Money was something necessary in Ketterdam. You needed money to stay alive and above the rest.

But money also puts a sign on your head. A big red blinking sign that probably says something like “big kill, big money.”

You weren’t stupid. You were very well aware of how big of a sign Kaz had on his head. Plenty of people wanted his head on a spike. You almost want to add yourself to the list.

“What?” You asked, voice small.

“Don’t make me repeat it.”

Kaz doesn’t bother to look at you. His eyes stay trained at his desk, filing through paperwork for the slat. He scribbles on them, whether it be a signature or a check.

“I don’t understand.”

“I’ve made myself clear.”

“No.”

“I’m not asking.”

“I don’t want to.”

“(Y/N), this isn’t up for debate.”

“Well, it should be! I should be allowed to have a say in this.”

“You don’t get one!” Kaz said harshly, finally meeting your eyes. “Out.”

You want to refuse, sit there and scream at him for the rest of the night. But you can’t. Kaz Brekker won either way. It doesn’t matter if you sat in his office the rest of the night and argued. His say was final. You would only be denying the inevitable by fighting.

You stand up, blinking through the tears forming in your eyes. The words slip past your lips before you even realize.

“I hate you.”

You slam the door shut behind you, missing the way Kaz’s face drops, and his pen explodes from the force of his grip.

He had kicked you out like that. Stripped you of everything you are. One mission gone wrong, and you were booted back onto the streets of Ketterdam.

He had kicked you from the Dregs.

It wasn’t even your fault. You didn’t understand his reasoning. You got shot, and the next thing you know, as soon as you've recovered, you’re alone.

And honestly, if Pekka Rollins himself asked you to murder Kaz, you just might. The Dregs weren't a gang; they were a family. They were home to you.

A home that you hadn’t had in a while, but it wasn’t just the Dregs. It was Kaz Brekker. The bastard of the barrel was also the person that held your heart in his hands. He was the person you went to at midnight when you didn’t know what else to do.

He was the person that listened to you.

He was your person.

But you weren’t his.

You grabbed the knife off the table and throw it as hard as you can at the wall.

You miss.

You grab the knife, wiping away the tears blurring your vision, and aim again. This time it lands in the wall. You clutch it and throw it again.

And again.

And again.

…

The Crow Club is still as lively as ever as you walk past it. You contemplate going inside, but you know better. A shadow catches your eye behind you, but there’s no one out here but you.

And yet, you can’t shake the feeling of being watched. Then again, any member of the Dregs was constantly being watched.

You shrugged it off.

Work was easy to find in a place like Ketterdam. It was also easy as one of the top assassins. You busied yourself in easy missions with easy targets.

It was the one thing in your life that remain stable. It was after one of these missions while cleaning your knife, did you see her.

“Inej?”

The said girl steps out of the shadows, silent as ever, and pulls down her face covering. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

“The same thing as you.”

You use your knife to gesture to the dead man on the floor, and she nods.

“Looks like I beat you to it,” You joke, tucking your knife away and rolling your shoulders.

“It would appear so.”

You want to ask how everything is, and despite every bone in your body, how Kaz is.

But instead, you turn around to leave.

“We miss you,” Inej blurts.

You freeze, letting your shoulders fall. “I miss you guys, too.”

“He’s an idiot.”

“You don’t have to tell me that.”

Inej nods, stepping back into the shadows, and you leave, an aching in your heart.

But that wasn’t the last time you ran into Inej. You saw her everywhere after that and nowhere at the same time. At first, you didn’t mind, but then it became unsettling.

You felt like you were being watched in your own home, but there was no one. It was hard to explain. You always saw her in town, but the feeling of being watched couldn’t be shaken when you got home.

You didn’t know how to explain it. You wanted to call her out on it, but you said nothing.

Until you did catch her in your house.

You let her off with a warning by throwing a knife into her corner. It was never going to hit her, neither of you would allow it, but she stepped out after that.

You raise an eyebrow at her. “What are you doing?”

“Checking on you.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“I’m just looking out-”

“You’re everywhere I go!” You shout, “Everywhere, Inej. If you wanted to look out for me, you could use the door and ask!”

“I’m sorry,” The Suli girl said.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, sighing. You feel bad for yelling at her. Inej was one of your closest friends, and she was only looking out for you. “Inej, it’s fine I just-”

“It’s Kaz.”

“Kaz?” You question, voice softening.

“He wants to know that you’re okay, and not dead. Every time you go on a mission, he sends me as unofficial backup.”

“I can take care of myself. If he’s so worried about my safety, he shouldn’t have kicked me out in the first place," You snap.

“Maybe you should tell him that.”

You turn to face Inej, but when you do, she’s gone.

Kaz? This was his doing? You didn’t believe her, but you also knew she wouldn’t lie. You sit on the edge of your bed, staring out the window. Kaz wants to know if you’re okay.

Kaz Brekker, the man that kicked you from the Dregs wants to make sure you’re okay. The thought should be comforting, but it’s more infuriating to you. At first, you thought maybe he had changed his mind, but this was worse. He didn't trust you to take care of yourself or respect you in the slightest.

You were angry at him. You didn’t understand why, and he refused to tell you. He was so stuck up, thinking that keeping his feelings from others would make him appear stronger.

But the strongest thing anyone can do is admit them.

You stand up, grabbing your knife from the wall and tucking it into your belt.

There was someone you needed to see.

It’s bitter cold outside, biting and chilling. It forces you to walk faster towards the Slat. No one questions you when you walk in; it’s normal to them.

In fact, they look happy to see you.

Jesper’s eyes light up, and he goes to hug you, but Wylan pulls him back.

“That’s her pissed-off face.”

“I would wear earplugs if I were you,” Nina warns, “(Y/N) doesn’t back down from a fight and certainly not with Kaz.”

You make no comment and step past them, making your way up to his office.

You don’t bother knocking and throw open the door, eyes blazing.

Kaz’s head snaps up from his work, equally pissed that someone dared to open his door without permission, but then his eyes soften.

“You’re supposed to knock first, you know that,” Kaz said sharply.

You roll your eyes, slamming the door behind you. Nina smirks as she sits with the other crows outside the door, all wearing earplugs to reduce the sound of your screaming that's bound to come.

“I don’t care about your petty rules, Brekker.”

Venom drips from your voice, and Kaz sets down his pen, leaning back in his chair. “Is there something you want?”

“An explanation.”

“I can’t offer you that.”

“Kaz, you promised.”

His lip twitches ever so slightly at that.

“You promised me this. We made a deal. And Kaz Brekker goes through with all his deals.”

Kaz is silent. He’s at a loss for words. Dirtyhands did not have the upper hand here, and it seemed he was finally stunned.

“You can’t just send Inej out to watch over me after you kicked me out, okay? If you don’t have an explanation, at least let me live the rest of my life without you watching over.”

Nothing.

You sigh, pushing the tears back, ready to make your way out of the slat for the last time, but then he speaks. His voice is raspier than usual but soft, almost like a whisper.

“I just wanted you to be happy.”

“Happy?” You scoff. “Why would that ever make me happy?”

“It was a way out.”

“Out of what, Kaz?”

“This!” He shouts, standing up and gesturing to the walls around you both. “This lifestyle of doing the dirty work to survive and always having a sum of money plastered on your forehead.”

“I don’t want out!”

“It was a way for you to escape…. to escape me.”

There’s silence as you process his words. You wanted to be angry at Kaz and continue to lash out at him, but you understand. He had given you your reason, and you're damned because it's a good one.

But you didn't want to escape him. Kaz was the only reason you stayed in Ketterdam; he was the thing that kept you grounded here. He was your person.

“Why would I ever want that?”

“You hate me.”

You shake your head, “Kaz-”

He cuts you off, switching topics. “This lifestyle isn’t meant for you.”

“It’s not meant for any of us.”

“I gave you a chance.”

“You gave me a reason.”

“A reason?”

Kaz waits for an answer, but you’re afraid to give it. The hardest thing anyone can do is admit their feelings. And you're unsure if you're strong enough to face them.

Kaz Brekker was stone cold, and you don't know if he'd drop the facade, even for you.

“You are the reason I deal with this lifestyle,” You finally said, voice barely above a whisper as you feel the weight lift from your shoulders. “Because it’s worth it. You are worth it.”

“I am not worth anything,” Kaz dismissed.

“Kaz Rietveld, you are worth everything to me.”

The boy freezes, and you take a step forward, placing your hand inches from his. Your heart beats madly in your chest, and you feel like you're suffocating as you wait for an answer, a reaction, anything. You expect him to pull away, but he doesn't. He stares at your hand inches from his on his desk.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“It’s okay,” You said.

His eyes meet yours, and you can see the fear in them. His hands are shaky, but he manages to take yours in them. He still wears his gloves, and your hands are just barely resting on top of his, but it means enough to you.

“You’re worth everything to me,” he repeats back to you.

Your heart bursts in your chest as Kaz squeezes your hand lightly. The action means everything to you.

Nina screams in triumph with the rest of the crows outside the door.

You and Kaz laugh, still holding his hand.

And at that moment, you know, you are his everything, and he is yours.

[dreadfutures]

WIP Whenever

I have been so, so busy with lab and other work for months it feels like and have lost track of all the weekly wip games uwu sorry if youve tagged me

but here

Spoilers for Ch 51, maybe, if I keep it.

Ixchel continues her breakdown.

No matter how hard Ixchel tried to speak, no matter how she fought to catch her breath between sobs, she could only repeat the same broken refrain:

I'm so tired. I don't want to do this anymore.

At first it ripped from her throat as a scream, shrill with the terror of confession, drowned in Solas's robes and the roar of water beside them. It burst forth every time she tried to swallow it—a howl, shattered and shattering. It thrashed in her throat and became garbled and died before it left her lips. She hissed it out with every hitching breath, a whisper that itself was both a poison and panacea in one.

And no matter how quiet she made her admissions, she felt how each and every one rocked Solas.

She did not need to beat at him with her fists, or to shake him with fingers dug into him like claws. He bowed around her, tensed to weather every fit and turn. When her initial grief sparked into an impotent and undirected rage, for a few moments she thought she might try to shake him to pieces, too; maybe she would find the right words to shatter him like a glass in an opera house, or maybe she would simply shake him and invite him to scream with her. But her lips only shaped the same weary mantra, and her guilt drowned out her anger.

It was not Solas she was angry at.

As the exhaustion of her spirit began to leech into her limbs, Ixchel channeled the last of her strength into holding on to Solas. It was suddenly imperative that she did not let him slip from her grasp, or let any force pull her away from him. He might tremble in her grip, his breaths might rasp in her ear, but he was her one hope of constancy in this endless storm that spun around them.

For there was no reprieve to life. Not really.

She wound herself around him like a vine to a tree, and she thought she could feel in those ancient bones the strain they had borne. As she held him, and he held her, mere feet away from the edge of a cliff, she realized—perhaps for the first time—just how small she was in every way compared to him.

With all of his limbs enfolding her in a tight, protective embrace, it was hard not to find some sort of comfort in that.

"I'm so tired," she said, and this time it was a plea, desperate for an answer she knew better than to expect. She thought she would receive the same answer as she had all this time: the wordless rush of water behind them, and the pained, wet sound of Solas's breath strained through his teeth.

Instead, her words seemed to shake something loose in Solas.

"I know, da'len," he whispered. "I know."

They lay tangled in silence and each other for a long while after that. The rubble-strewn ground was far from comforting, but neither of them moved. Ixchel remained sprawled between Solas's legs, her face buried in his tear-soaked chest, her grip around his waist beginning to ease; he had not adjusted his grip on her hair or back since clutching her close, and it seemed that perhaps he had become frozen like that around her. She did not mind that she was suffocating slowly in his robes, or that pebbles dug into her knees, or that her shirt had ridden up and the icy ground was pressed against her stomach.

She thought she could fall asleep there, without moving.

But she could not allow it of herself.

Eventually, perhaps after many hours of silence and rushing water, she released a breath that left her hollow.

"What now?" she asked him softly.

Ixchel heard him swallow. "Do you really wish to look to me for guidance?" A weary chuckle shook his frame. "No recourse I have found has made things better, or easier, for myself or for you."

In response, Ixchel wriggled weakly in his arms until she could peer up at him through swollen eyes. She has so much to respond to that, but nothing better than:

"Ar lath ma."

A smile shadowed his face for a brief moment before it was lost again in her blurry vision.

"Yes," he mused, "I think that is as good an answer as any."

[tiens-letters]

upon autumns day, where you and I met. upon autumns day where I remember all of what we were before youve passed. and upon autumns day would I have ever so slowly let go of that pain of the past

zhongli (angst)

@albeidoof its somewhere here hehehe

Time was a luxury. A treasure each and everything holds.

Yet time is a curse as well. It covets, devours and leaves. which humanity neglects to cherish until the heart ceases its steady rythmn, only then do they regret of the wasted minutes, hours and seconds.

Beneath the flow of the rushing waves of things that have come and gone. Only on this particular day would he sit beneath a certain tree. The rough bark brushing up against his back as leaves fell effortlessly to the ground, as if it were ready to let go of from the branches that gave birth to it, only to return once again to the waiting soil.

It was a sunny afternoon, clear of any clouds and only clear unblemished blue, a good time to enjoy a warm cup of tea yet there was no energy in his bones to even move from where he was.

He felt exhausted. Desultory even.

Gone were the halcyon days of the past, and now the present time of the vivid reality he had to face.

Morax, rex lapis, the geo archon. Names that weighted more than one could carry, memories that shackled his soul that lived for a thousand years on end, all but a stain that could never be washed away.

The breeze slowly danced in, playing with his hair softly, kissing his skin and welcoming him. It carried a hint of aromatic essence only he would know belongs to.

You.

He tried to desperately recount the days after youve left the face of the earth and yet he could not remember or did his mind not allow him to as if he did, it would bring him terrible and heavy consequences for an answer, one sane mind would never want to know.

Sighing, he sat back and recalled back the memories of you instead. When you were alive, warm and breathing in his arms. He remembers the way your eyes would shine brightly whenever he would be around, or the small sound of delight you would make when you have finished another one of the many interesting blends of tea youve done over the course of a week of mixing different flowers and tea leaves. Youve made up quite the fortune with this as your little hobby bloomed into a fully run business known across teyvat.

"Zhongli." he froze, youve never called him by his name ever since youve started getting close, it made him feal uneasy as he turned to look at you who stood by the doorway, a neutral look on your face.

"y-yes?" nervousness clawed at him as he racked his brain to what he couldve done for you to call his name like that, he couldnt think of any.

"I came back from the market and I heard youve made quite the generous payment. Why is that, I wonder?" he's done it again, that spending habit of his

"The price was reasonable for such a fine ceramic tea set, I dont seem to find why it shouldnt reflect its quality?" you sighed as you pointed towards the glass cupboard behind him

"You bought the same exact set a week ago, Zhongli. Thats why." having to realize his mistake after looking over the two identical set that on the shelf, he turned to apologize but only to see you missing from the doorway. Footsteps can be heard from the floorboards above him. You were upset.

After minutes of pacing in the living room, he finally mustered the courage to climb the stairs and enter your shared bedroom. A figure already under the sheets as the warm glow of the lamp illuminated your delicate features. The mattress sunk as he sat beside you, fingers brushing away the stray hair that fell on your face.

"Im still mad at you Zhongli." his hand flinched slightly at the way you called him

"I apologize. I seem to not have learned my lesson again. I would gladly return the set tomorrow."

"Its no use, they dont accept refunds." you replied without sparing a glance at him

"What can I do for you to forgive me then?"

"Just go to sleep, Zhongli." groaning you reached for the switch to shut the lamp off but a gentle grip stopped you, forcing you to look at his gloomy expression. Perhaps you went too far this time.

"Please stop calling me in that way. I dont like it." he whispers, drawing your palm to his lips, leaving small kisses upon it. He sure does know his way around your heart, no wonder why you could not stay mad at him.

"Just be mindful next time." you cursed yourself for being weak to his charms.

"I will." yet something was missing "Then can you call me as you did before?"

"Zhongli?" you could see the slight grimace in his face as you teased him

"Stop it." he kissed you without warning "Call me as you did before."

However, his lips didnt stop as they began to travel. From your cheeks to you forehead and then to your neck. Oh dear, he wasnt having any of your teasing.

"A-li." you giggled beneath him as he finally stopped and met your gaze

"Thats better."

He still remembers the faint smile that graced your lips whenever he would wake up next to you tangled in the same sheets. The softness of your skin on his calloused touch. Your lips melting his and your voice lulling his raging mind to peace.

Then everything changed when you drew blood that spilled from those lips he's kissed for a thousand times, painting a morbid image on the sheets. Anger and despair boiled inside of him once he learned of the secret youve kept. Zhongli was a calm and collected man all of the time except when he was with you.

Having to witness him at such a point felt as if his own spear was being driven right through his very chest. He held you in an arms width away, the panic and pain in his eyes increasing over the minute as he begged for you to explain why youve decided to lie about the flowers that bloomed in your lungs, the sickness youve inherited from your deceased mother, whose fate you soon would follow. You didnt want him to find out, not in this way.

He couldve done anything if he knew from the start but alas, you wanted to be cruel, thinking it was for the best. Until your symptoms persisted, a heavy reminder of the remaining distance of the string you have to walk on to reach the end. The heavy feeling in your chest started to worsen as cherry sweet liquid poured from your mouth.

Soon the once pristine sheets were stained in haunting crimson shades as you heaved and he watched in agony. If only he had the ability of what he once had back then, if only he could plant the seeds of the flowers from yours to his then he would, if only he hadnt met you one autumn evening

" please dont look at me like that. " you told him, cold hands caressing his cheeks, catching the streams of salty warm beads that fell freely from your darling's amber eyes.

"Im sorry. Im so sorry..." the last thing you wanted to see was this man to cry. The last thing you wanted to see was to see him relive the past tragic memories you promised to bring him out of

" my disease has nothing to do with you. In the end it was mine alone to handle. oh, you are far from that so please dont you ever blame yourself."

"How can I not? If I havent fallen so deep then you would experienced so much more in life, you couldve been happier if you met someone else. Yet you chose me and I couldnt give you anything, I--. " the words knotted up as he began to shake, hands holding yours as knuckles turned to white

You slapped him.

With all the strength youve gathered in that fading body of yours. The sound cutting the grieving sounds that spilled from him, soul and flesh alike.

"A-li, look at me. Do I look like someone whose unsatisfied with what youve given me? Did my smile ever fade when Im with you? Did your affections ever lack? Answer me." his watery gaze met yours, a torrent of emotions swimming in them

"No. Never." a soft smile was carved unto your lips

"My dear, youve given me all Ive ever wanted in this life and I regret nothing of it."

To him, you were the flower that bloomed at the highest peak of the mountain he's never reached and yet its petals voluntarily detached and fell down, making him the happiest as one thing he's admired was untouchable and now, lay softly in the palm of his hands. To cherish and to protect.

But of course, all things are evanescent.

The familiar feeling of soreness that wasnt supposed to be there rose, ebbed and flowed through his throat. He knew it all too well, it was after he woke from his week long slumber did he feel it along with what his ancient beating heart felt.

"You collapsed." the worried words of the qixing echoed in his head. He frantically got up but as soon as his feet touched the floor did his legs give out underneath him, what use was he in this sorry state. He was helped up and sat back on the edge of the bed.

He wanted to ask many things yet was unable to.

Ningguang spoke as if you were still breathing and was visiting her minutes ago with another one of your tea blends. "Dont worry and rest first, go to jueyun karst after. They will be waiting."

To where the adepti resides, who as well, favored you, that one soul among thousands of others. One to which they shared a few good memories with was allowed to slumber there in peace.

Zhongli found himself waking up to the sun setting in the horizon. Just like how youve gone and resurfaced back into his memories. It was time.

He stood up from where he sat, gloved hands brushing any dirt that clung to him as he made his way to where you slept.

The red bean that was planted by himself still remained, a token of his love for you. Picking one bead and placing it inside the hollow dice he brought along, completing another one of the similar handicraft he's made every visit.

The sun finally died and the moon began its reign. The small wisps of light gathered around before him, forming a blurry image.

It was then he felt at ease, he saw you smiling at him with all there is in the world. Your light seemed to dim a little, hinting the blessing the adepti gave was slowly diminishing. Soon your visits would cease and you were sure that by the end of the power spent, he wouldve let go of the torment that plagued him.

"A-li. Have you been well?" he knew what you meant

"Im letting go slowly my dear. Perhaps in time, I would learn breathe easily once again."

Longest yet lol. Hope yall liked it ehehe

[passable-talent]

May I perhaps request a part 8 for the dai li series? I'm very very hype for what's to come for the finale!

should’ve figured this would happen within 20 min

ya boi returns after a week of classes with significantly better mental health! not enough to make me think I’ll be here more often than I have, but enough to give me the passion i need to f u c k i n g d e l i v e r 

and now...

THE MOMENT YOUVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR

| part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 |

The day of Sozin’s Comet.

The comet tore its way across the sky behind Appa, vaporizing clouds and turning the sky blood red, as though it knew the terror and destruction it was meant to bring. Seated in Appa’s saddle behind Katara and Zuko, you looked over his tail at it, its brightness in the sky that rivaled the sun. You wondered when it would behind to effect firebenders- you wondered if Zuko could already feel it. 

“Zuko, don’t worry,” said Katara, catching the anxiety you had noticed slipping off of him like waves. “We can take Azula.”

“I’m not worried about her,” Zuko said, “I’m worried about Aang. What if he doesn’t have the guts to take out my father?” You made brief eye contact with Katara before moving forward, getting closer to the conversation. 

“What if he loses?” Zuko’s voice was clear in its trepidation. 

“Aang won’t lose,” Karata said, confidence in her tone. “He’s gonna come back. He has to.” You put your hand on her shoulder, settling down on your knees between the two of them. 

“Of course he will,” you said, looking over your shoulder once again at the comet. “He wouldn’t let us face Ozai without him.” Zuko caught his reaction before it made its way to his face, controlling it. But all the same, he had to wonder- had he even told you his father’s name? And referring to him as ‘Ozai’, rather than ‘the Firelord’- a disrespect that even some of the others of the team hadn’t done. 

None of the three of you wore armor. What would metal do against fire, anyway? You wore the uniform of a Dai Li student, or what had once been. Its long, loose sleeves had been ripped at your biceps and the baggy pants ripped just below your knees, so that all that was left to be recognized was the symbol of Ba Sing Se on your chest, and the gold trim as it hung at your waist. If you were going to win the war, today, you’d do it for your home city. 

You didn’t wear shoes. 

“There’s the palace,” Katara said, leaning forward to get as good a look at the courtyard as she could. “It’s almost empty.”

“Except for Azula,” you said, narrowing your eyes as though that would help you see. “And those guys.”

“Those are the Fire Sages. Everyone else is either with the fleet or at home, waiting for the victory,” Zuko said, his normal brand of anger yet nonchalance gracing his voice. Drawing closer, the words of the Fire Sages drifted up to where you could hear them, high on Appa’s back. 

“By decree of Phoenix King Ozai, I now crown you Firelord-” he hands swung down to place the crown in Azula’s hair, but he paused, noticing Appa beside one of the towers. Appa bellowed as he approached, and Azula’s words were lost beneath the sound. Appa landed at the steps of the palace, and Zuko stood. 

“Sorry, but you’re not going to become Firelord today.” He leapt down, leaving you and Katara on the saddle. “I am.” Azula’s laugh ground on your ears, shivering you to the bone. She looked... unkempt. 

“You’re hilarious.” Katara approached Zuko’s side, and you flanked his other. 

“And you’re going down,” she levied against Azula, and you couldn’t help but find a smile sliding to your face. Azula has had this coming, just like you said to Iroh only hours ago. You were happy that you got to be a part of the force that took her down, after all the pain she had brought into your life. She was a monster. 

“Wait,” Azula said, stopping the head sage from placing the headpiece on her, “You want to be Firelord?” She stood, and walked toward the edge of the stairs. You didn’t like standing beneath her. “Fine. Let’s settle this. Just you and me, brother.” She spat the word with contempt that you wanted to wipe right off of her face. “The showdown that was always meant to be- Agni Kai!” 

“You’re on,” Zuko growled before you could even react. You turned your head, noticing Katara had done the same. 

“Zuko-” you said, concern in your voice. You’d come all this way to help, and Katara had too, and now he was going to take her on without you? 

“What are you doing? She’s playing you,” Katara said, narrowing her eyes. “She knows she can’t take all three of us, so she’s trying to separate us.” You wanted to reach out and take his hand, as though to pull him toward reason, but something held you back. You stole a glance at Azula, and the sick, gloating smile on her face. 

“I know,” Zuko said, and your eyes widened slightly, surprised that he knew the trap but still walked into it. “But I can take her this time.”

“But even you admitted to your uncle that you would need help facing Azula.”

“Zuko, that’s why we’re here for you,” you added, finally breaking your gaze from the princess. 

“There’s something off about her,” he said, “I can’t explain it, but she’s slipping.” It was like you could feel her gaze on the side of your head as you looked at her brother, like you could feel her weighing her decisions, like she did back in Ba Sing Se, when she manipulated you and Zuko both. It made you shiver. 

“And this way,” Zuko said, reaching out and taking your hand while he looked at Katara, “no one else has to get hurt.” You squeezed his hand, tightly, before letting go and circling him to Katara’s side. The courtyard before the steps of the palace were cleared, and the two siblings took up positions facing away from each other. You stood with Katara, not far from Zuko. It may have been against the rules, but still you wanted to stand by, in case you needed to interfere and help him. You were sure Katara felt the same way. 

Slowly, the siblings stood, what felt like miles separating them. 

“I’m sorry it has to end this way, brother,” Azula said in a near snarl, slicking her robe from her shoulders and discarding it to the ground. Zuko stood steadfast in his ready stance, calm. 

“No you’re not.”

Azula took up her ready stance, and before you knew it, the battle had begun. 

Until this moment, you hadn’t seen firebending under the influence of Sozin’s Comet. You understood the effect it was supposed to have had, but the pure size of the awful flames was something you could never have predicted, nor truly understood, if it weren’t for this moment, this amazing and intense shot of flame Azula conjured, her blue contrasting the sky and sun of dark red, and Zuko’s return, his bright yellows and oranges filling your vision and blocking Azula. The impact of the powers of the siblings created a wall that bisected the entirety of the palace grounds, and the heat and wind pushed your hair from your face. 

From the fading wall burst Azula’s fire, four waves of flame accompanying her movements, and as Zuko split and deflected each one, you kept your eye on him. His footwork. His stance. He had learned from Aang, just a bit- don’t go straight to the attack. Weave with your partner. He had absolute control, but still your fists flexed, making the ground roll beneath your exposed toes. Your feet were firmly planted to the ground, so even when you blinked, you could follow the fight. 

The two traded blows, their deflected flames launching up and out of the courtyard, coloring the clouds. Azula’s misfires tore through homes and set rooftops ablaze. Zuko’s blast toward her was matched, and as he adjusted his position it moved past him, a wall of cyan sliding past a wall of amber. Planting a foot to the floor, you rocked your fist up, a wall erupting from the stone floor to split Azula’s blaze in front of you and Katara. For the moment, you huddled together, watching as the fire circled you like a predator before disappearing. Quickly, you shot it down into its place, and once again took your eyes to the battle. The front of the palace was ablaze, and in a rage, Azula leapt toward Zuko, raining down on top of him what looked like a whip of fire. Planting his stance, he split it, a pathway opening straight from him to his sister. You recognized that move- Toph had taught it to you. 

Azula was on one knee, collecting herself, and from far away it looked like she was breathing hard. Zuko, on the other hand, stood strong, and steady. He moved toward her two interwoven streams of flame that roared and grew as they moved, which she slid out from beside. You couldn’t look away, even as tears fought to moisten your eyes from their onslaught of heat. Azula gave him a sloppy attack, and so he did what you could only describe as ascending, rising on a pillar of fire until he could swing an arc at her as he fell back down, splitting her next offense. 

She swung around him, weaving, and he stood his ground, protecting himself. But he sensed the weakness that you could not see- as long as she was sliding on her flames, as long as she wasn’t connected to the ground, he could break her root. He sent a wave of flame in all directions that broke up her fire, and sent her crashing to the ground. 

She collected herself up, her hair fallen from its updo, fluttering around her and into her eyes. She had a madness in those eyes, a bloodthirst, but her stance was weak and her back hunched, like something was giving out beneath her. 

“No lightning today?” You heard Zuko taunt. “What’s’a matter? Afraid I’ll redirect it?” He brought himself into an offensive stance, and, sensing danger, Katara ran closer. You followed, remembering your last run-in with Azula’s lightning. The night Aang died. 

“Oh, I’ll show you lightning!” Azula snarled, and, following your instincts, you pushed Katara behind you. Rock would fare better against lightning than water. 

With movements to her right, then her left, Azula collected her lightning, thunder echoing off of walls and mountainsides and clouds all around you. Through the earth you felt as Zuko took a deep breath, his heartbeat calm, but your eyes remained on the princess. 

She gathered her two fingers to her chest, readying to fire. But then, you saw her eyes land on you.

Sometimes, a person sees a million moments pass in less than one. 

You saw her stance pivot to you, and her arm extend toward you and Katara. But she wasn’t targeting Katara- she knew what you were, and what you had become. You had become a weakness, not in yourself, but in Zuko, and she had seen it in the way you looked at him in Ba Sing Se, and she had seen it in the way he had reached for your hand at the steps of the palace. You had endangered Katara, and so with the world moving by at the pace of a million moments in less than one, you launched forward to plant both feet, sweeping your arms from your sides and in, up, and from the tiles began to rise a wall. 

And you saw, at a pace of a million moments in less than one, the way that Zuko ran between you and the lightning, the blue of it drowning out any other color. The strength in your arms faded, and the wall in front of you, meant to protect you and Katara, vaporized to sand, and crumbled back to the ground. Zuko absorbed the lightning, and shot it out above the walls of the volcano. 

There he was left, then, trembling. 

“Zuko!” you shouted, and Katara the same, both of you meaning to run toward him. But Azula reminded you that she was still a threat by slamming the ground in front of you with lightning, and you snapped your gaze to her. 

Once, in a cavern deep beneath a palace in Ba Sing Se, Azula had come between you and Zuko. And that day, you’d been too scared- you were a kid who had never seen war. You weren’t ready to attack, and if you were, maybe that day would’ve changed how the war played out. Once, in a cavern deep beneath a palace in Ba Sing Se, you’d failed to keep Zuko from his sister. 

It wouldn’t happen again. 

You let out a scream and lifted a dozen boulders from the tiled ground, launching them at the princess, each in turn. Her laughter grated against your skin and you’d never moved with such rage in your bones before, the strain on your joints nothing compared to your heartbreak. Your hair and clothes whipped around you, put to the test by the speed with which you were moving. And yet, Azula alluded you. 

“Y/N!” Katara called, and you wisened up for just long enough to realize that she was all too used to fighting off a rage-fueled attacker. You weren’t going to win this way, and now, winning was up to Katara and you. One more shot you pressed toward her, and using that as a distraction, you knocked her from her path with a stone launched from just beside her. It gave you enough time to slip with Katara from the battlefield into the awning-filled pavilions nearby. 

You could barely keep your legs from turning you back to where Zuko still lay. 

Azula brought her fire down from behind the pavilion where you and Katara had taken shelter, and so she chased you out, back toward the open yard. Katara made a break for Zuko, covering her hand in water so she could heal him, and as you ran, you threw your open hands down toward the ground, walls slicing up beside him, hopefully to keep him safe. But your path was interrupted by Azula’s flame, her laughter rocking your core as she conjured lightning, and so you shot back a boulder to divert her long enough for you and Katara to put just a bit more distance between you and her.

Still, her lightning caught up to you, and the explosion sent you both flying. Katara rolled, and you brought up a platform to land on properly. Azula landed on a nearby rooftop, giddy smiles on her face. 

“I’d really rather our family physician look after little Zu-zu, if you don’t mind!” Her voice gave you pause, even as you launched to the side to avoid her lightning. What, really, was she doing, attacking her own brother? What had brought her to being the bloodthirsty murderer she was so prepared to become?

More flame chased Katara as she joined you behind a pillar, and you stomped your heel to the floor to raise even another wall between you and where Azula had just been. 

“Zu-zu, you don’t look so good!” Azula snarled, and with her scream sent another bolt of lightning to Katara, the crack of thunder nearly deafening you as it split you from her, sending you in opposite directions. 

After all that, though, when choosing who Azula would go after, who Azula would see as a threat, it wasn’t you. She went for Katara, and after a moment, you realized her goal- Katara was the only one, now, who could save Zuko’s life. And so you slipped to the side, running between columns, one eye on Azula and the other on Zuko. Katara froze both her and the princess in place, and immediately you knew who would come out the winner. You bolted to Zuko’s side, your feet carrying you shakily, until you crashed to your knees beside him. You lowered the walls you’d put up around him and rolled him to his back, finally laying eyes on the deep, raw wound on his stomach. 

“Stay still,” you ordered him, extending one foot out to ground yourself, and you punched the tile in order to raise up a platform underneath him, where Katara could hope to work better. Shaking hands extended toward his face, and those tears that once tried to protect your eyes from the heat now tried to protect them from something far, far worse- the pain in Zuko’s expression. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” you promised him, even as he flinched and groaned, even as your voice shook, even as you slowly cupped his face. The sound of a crash of water made you look over your shoulder, and the sight you found was relieving- Katara chaining Azula to the ground. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” you promised again, your voice shaking even as this time, you knew you weren’t lying. Katara was there only a moment later, water already coating her hands, ready to press it down into his wound. It began to glow, and you watched as Zuko’s face first flexed with more pain, then relaxed. A tearful smile crossed your face and a small sob escaped your lungs, and he looked first to you, then to Katara. 

“Thank you, Katara,” he said, taking a deep breath, and settling his muscles down onto the stone beneath him. 

Azula had been defeated. Zuko was to be Firelord. For the moment, the world was triumphant, and you saw him smile. You’d waited a thousand moments for this one, right here, when everything was okay, and when he was safe. 

You’d waited a thousand moments, but in this one, you couldn’t remember the ones where he’d hurt you, where you’d hated him. You couldn’t remember the ones filled with pain, and anger, the ones in which you walked away from him in anger, or threw up a wall between the two of you, or yelled at him. You couldn’t remember the ones in which he hadn’t done what you’d needed him to, or in which you had kept yourself at arms length. 

All you could remember where the moments that truly brought you to this one, right here. 

Finally, you leaned down, and you kissed him. 

Your fingers slid into his hair at the back of his head, and cupped his head away from the hard stone beneath him. Your eyes closed, all you could do was feel, your instep pressed to the ground beneath you, your lips pressing against his. And you didn’t want him to move, to push himself, but he did cup your face, letting his fingertips feel into your scalp, as your hair fell down past your cheekbones. 

When you parted, for a moment, you couldn’t do anything but stare. 

“I love you,” you said, and a smile pulled at his lips. 

“I love you, too.” 

You brought your legs to your side to help him sit up, and then stand, one of your arms around his waist. Seemingly overwhelmed by her brother’s total victory, Azula truly fell, tears and screams leaving her while she flailed and spit fire. Finally, as you stood in front of her, in her truest, basest form, you recognized what you had never, any time you’d faced her. 

She was never in control. She was just scared, and finally, she’d been beaten, just like she always feared. 

Katara looked away. You couldn’t bring yourself to. 

~~~

As you took Zuko into the palace to rest, Katara traversed the palace city, putting out fires. It would take work, but the city would be inhabitable again, once Zuko took the throne. He had a lot of recovering to do, but by the time the world had gathered for his coronation, he was well enough to walk on his own, and to kneel to receive the crown. Still, though, he had trouble reaching behind himself to put on his robes. 

Luckily, you were always there to help him. 

“So I suppose, after all this, you’re going to go home,” he said as you lifted his clothing to his shoulders. 

“Hmm?”

“Back to Ba Sing Se. I know you miss it.” A small smile graced your lips, but you shook your head as you smoothed the wrinkles across his shoulders. 

“I do. I miss the city, but it hasn’t been my home. Not for a long time.” You circled around Zuko to take his hand just beside him, regarding him with a warm expression, warmth toward him that you could only match with a few moments before. 

“I thought I made it clear that this- right here-” you lifted his hand, interlocked with yours, up to his sight. “-This is my home.” He brought your hand down so that he could lean into a kiss, and you could enjoy it only for a moment before you had to pull away. 

“I’ve got to go,” you said, a bright smile on your face. “Toph saved my seat, and Aang is waiting for you!” You rushed to the door, a small exit that wouldn’t be noticed by the crowd gathered out front, but you paused. “Good luck,” you said, giving him an honest and traditional Fire Nation bow. 

“Your Highness.” 

-🦌 Roe

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[b0ba-chan]

date night

request: hi boba!! brat taming sakusa!! youve been teasing him all night like “accidentally” rubbing your ass against him while on a date and/or rubbing your foot against him under the table and on the way home he notices you rubbing your thighs together and waits until you two are home.

pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x reader

word count: 1570

warnings: seggs, sorta voyerism, spanking, brat taming, light degradation

author notes: this is my first paid request and i- i hope you like it scorpion chan!!!! 🦂🦂🦂

buy me boba? (fic requests taken here :D all will be 1K+ words)

kiyoomi has always been patient with you as you were with him. ever since being friends since high school in the volleyball club and going on to date after graduation, you two knew each other’s boundaries. it was usually you pushing him a bit to get out of his comfort zone, but it wasn’t like you made him too uncomfortable or mad anytime you did. you weren’t loud or outgoing, but you were much more compared to him. so you wanted to go out on a dinner date, missing your outings you’d go out on with him.

he was reluctant, but finally pulled through by getting a nice restaurant reservation for the two of you. of course you wear your nicest clothes, cleaning up your hair in the mirror as sakusa fixes his shirt cuffs behind you. he glances at you, having to take another look as he watches you the mirror. he strides towards you, wrapping an arm around your middle and plant a kiss on your forehead. a gentle smile spreads on your lips as you lean up to kiss his cheek. 

“are you ready?” he hums, picking up his folded mask off the nightstand. he holds his elbow out for you to hold onto, smiling a bit as you cling yourself onto his arm. he walks you out to the car, opening the passenger door for you to get in. after closing your door, he gets into the driver seat and starts the car. his hand rested on your thigh as he drove with his free hand, thumb rubbing against the skin where your dress rode up.

before exiting the car, he put on his mask and got out to get to your door first. you thought it was romantic, but you just knew he didn’t want the valet drivers to get to your door first and touch you. 

your table was set up farther away from everyone else, but still in the main dining hall. in the car, he did express his discomfort with the circumstances but let it go anyways. 

the whole date was comfortable, exchanging words and loving glances. it felt normal. besides the fact that you slipped your heel off to rub your foot up his leg. kiyoomi raised his eyebrow in suspicion, but not wanting to press the situation as it just felt like some light touching. it wasn’t until you felt up his leg and gently placed your foot on his crotch. he chokes a bit on his wine and sends a glare towards you, watching you playfully giggle and sip your drink.

“you better stop, now.” the dark haired man mutters, smirking as you suppress a shiver to stand your ground.

“what's wrong, omi. i’ve done nothing,” you smile innocently and shrug, acting as if nothing is happening. all night you’ve felt so hot and bothered by how attractive your boyfriend looked; wearing a nice fitted white button up and fitted dress pants, he just looked delicious. and you couldn’t help but to tease him, wanting to feel him up in some way.

he looks around the room before leaning over, brushing your foot off his lap to grip your cheeks between his thumb and other four fingers. you blush brightly and as his eyes bore into yours, feeling small under his gaze. your thighs rub together in anticipation. but all he does is pat your cheek and requests the check.

your eyes were glazed over and face red from embarrassment. your brain didn’t even pick up the fact that kiyoomi stood up, waiting for you to get up from your seat. his hand rests on the small of your back, toying at the fabric of the dress. 

the whole car ride home was tense, or maybe it was just you. your thighs rubbed together as kiyoomi’s grip got tighter on your thigh. his hand started to travel up, not saying a thing as you spread your legs subconsciously. as the pad of his fingers were about to brush against your damp panties, he parks the car and gets out. you whine in desperation, hopping out of the car before sakusa could get to your door. 

he chuckles softly, watching you try to drag him into the house faster as he slows down his pace to watch you struggle to get into the house. after teasing you enough and getting into the bedroom, he grabs you by your hair to make you look up at him.

“what was that little stunt you played back there?” he glares down at your limp and submissive state. you felt so small under him, especially when he towers you by standing at 6’4”. he tugs harder to get an answer out of you but all you do is wail out, gripping his wrist.

“let me go!” you huff and challenge his glare with yours, trying to regain your stance. but when you looked into his eyes, you felt small yet again. so you close your eyes as you try to squirm away, only making him throw you over the bed. you were bent over the edge of the bed, dress being pushed up to reveal your soaking panties. 

the pad of his fingers pressed against the wet patch of your panties, teasing you through the silk cloth. you gasp and grip the sheets, rutting back on his fingers. before you can let out a moan, he lands a hard smack against your ass to replace the moan with a yelp.

“no moving, little girl.” he tsks at you and tears were already building up in your eye. you were still as you let your boyfriend toy at your clothed cunt, eyes widening as he pushes the fabric to the side to push two fingers into your weeping hole. he doesn’t wait, quickly thrusting his finger in and out of your sloppy pussy. you wail as your hips work back on his fingers, clamping around him as he pulls out. your hips mindlessly chase after his digits, only to get another hard spank.

 “no! please want more!” you wail and squirm on the bed, truly a funny sight to see you so desperate. 

“more? more what, little one?” he smirks and shoves his wet fingers, covered in your essence, into your mouth to land more spanks on your ass, “more spanks, right?”

you sob around his fingers, suckling on them as you shake your head. your squealing was muffled by his fingers, each hit getting harder and more painful. he takes a handful of the red flesh and squeezes it, watching you squirm.

“on your back.” he pulls the fingers out of your mouth, a trail of spit connects your lips to the tip of his middle finger. you shakily flip over, pulling the skirt of your dress up for him to see how ruined your panties were. you blush as he chuckles, pulling down the small fabric and hitches your legs over his shoulders.

kiyoomi’s shirt was unbuttoned, pants off and his boxers pushed down low enough to reveal his cock. you whine as he lifts your hips, giving them a squeeze. 

“keep your eyes open,” he grunts, pushing in his tip. you start to wail out at the sudden stretch, gripping his biceps and digging your nails. “you wanted this, didn’t you? watch me stretch you out, little girl.” 

you sob, watching him rest balls deep in your cunt. the stretch was always so painful, feeling him stuff you so full. and when you think he was about to thrust, he sits still in your cunt and wears a condescending smile on his face. you cry out, hitting his bicep to get him to move.

“o-omi! please move!” you squirm under him, pleads and begs tumbling out of your mouth for him to move. feeling him shift was enough to get you to arch your back. he laughed a bit as your words got jumbled up, not understanding a word coming out of your mouth. he smacks your cheek lightly, starting to thrust lightly. the feeling of him moving was so overwhelming, your gummy walls started to clamp around his cock and spazzing out. he rolls his hips slowly to drag out your orgasm, but once you settle down, he starts up a punishing pace.

“that's what you want. right, brat?” omi whispers into your ear as you scream out his name and pleads for him to slow down, already feeling so sensitive. your feet dangled over his shoulders with the little pair of panties hanging on your right ankle. each thrust was hard, possibly bruising your cervix each time he hits it. “you've wanted me so bad ever since dinner. little whore, trying to rile me up in front of everyone.”

your moans start to die down, being replaced with silent screams for him to let you cum. he ignores you and continues to chase his high, hips stuttering as your pussy sucks him in. you shake under him, orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave as he fills you up, painting your walls. you huff and scratch down his back, definitely leaving marks for the msby boys to tease him over. you whine a bit, looking up at him to pucker your lips.

he jokingly looks at you with disgust, laughing when you pout. kiyoomi leans in to kiss your soft lips, melding his with yours.

“round two in the shower?”

[syubub]

ENERGY CHECKUP: YOONGI (again)

Now, I know I've already done an energy check up on yoon but I wanted to see how he was doing now that he's gotten his shoulder surgery!

Disclaimer time: tarot is not to be takes as fact and is my interpretation if the cards :) entertainment purposes only~

SHIT IS STRANGE (it is Yoongi though so I'm not too shocked)

So. For starters, his energy is pretty calm and chill. He's also a bit more quiet?

I wrote a note that tomorrow is exciting... idk I wrote it down and I'm not sure if its exciting for him or for us? Maybe its just a general like, "tomorrow is a good day" type thing.

Now. 11... I wrote this down and I'm not sure why though I believe that he might be seeing 11:11 on the clock or possibly that something exciting is happening for him at 11:11 (I just checked and thats in like an hour and a half from when I'm writing this down(( update i just finished writing the whole post and it is about 11 minutes away)) idk. I make no promises but I wrote it down so there you go.

I also kept seeing plants and I'm not sure if people got him flowers or plants as a "get well" type thing or maybe he's stressing bc someone has to water his plants lol

Okay. Okay. Hear me out. Black bean noodles. It popped into my head and I was told to write it down but I'm also really hungry so take that with a grain of fucking salt. (I even pictured a nice elaborate bowl that was red as well as the take out container. Yum. Send me noodles)

MOVING ON

Here's the actual reading lol. He is bored.

Thats all. Thank you for coming.

Jk

I joke. The cards give me a kind of frazzled feeling? Its the struggle of knowing hes done something good but it comes at a cost. Yoongi works. A lot. All the goddamn time. So what now? He's having this shake up thats forcing him to deal with stuff. Him having this surgery also may have brought back some less than favorable memories/ feelings that hes being forced to deal with now. Over all though he feels like its good. The 6 of wands makes me think that he's thinking of our response when he comes back. Its like he's gonna be so much more confident in himself and his dancing and he can finally move on from the car accident? It happed so long ago but he literally carried this burden with him. Its good. The wheel of fortune and is about a change and the 8 of swords is about self imposed restriction, imprisonment and over all bad/ negative feelings. I pulled the wheel of fortune first and asked what was changing and that was the 8 of swords. This surgery is helping to free him from this restricting, painful thing that may have been reminding him of the past! YES HEALING

Now. For this section I just kinda asked "whats up?" And got, easy does it, divine life purpose l, balancing masculine and feminine energies and uplift your thoughts. He may be resting but he's got his mind working on 3,000 my dude. Its the regular "yoongi is woke af" bullshit but damn. The cards say what they say. He's preparing. I'll come back to this.

Now the 7 of cups and the 3 of swords. I asked how he felt about missing out on promoting. He's heart broken with the 3 of swords. It genuinely pains him. And with the 7 of cups he might feel like there's a lot of ways this can play out and he's considered a lot of options.

I was curious how he felt about me coming into his energy so I asked him what he thought of me. Lol. These each came out separately. We got, 2 of cups, four of wands, the empress, justice, the magician, the sun and the lovers. Ha

So. To add to the mood setting my guide said "he's a drama queen" lol yeah he is.

So so so so so. I was confused? Still am a little confused but I'm like 80.9% sure that he isn't bothered by me poking around in his energy n shit. In fact my theory is that he's using this connection to his advantage? Lol sounds dumb but my best guess is that home boy sees my energy/ what I'm doing as a way to figure out his own shit? Idk maybe he thinks I'm his energetic therapist. Maybe even a matchmaker (I mean... I have been putting a lot of energy and work into finding/ connecting with his soulmate so maybe he's letting me do all the dirty work) I really don't understand but I got no further explanation.

Oki oki oki. Now. I was drawn to 2 books. The kybalion and the prophet. I asked yoon if there was any messages that we wanted to point out through the books and I got a number for each book so I took it as page numbers. 28 for the prophet and 54 for the kybalion

Take what you will from these if it calls to you. I haven't read these since I was around 13? The sentiments for each felt important to me so I'm curious what you all might think/ feel when reading these? ( I also get the feeling that Yoongi has read the prophet idk why)

Okay. At this point I was like cool, let's wrap this up but I need to talk about his pjs? Green/grey? Plaid pj bottoms don't ask me don't ask me don't ask me I don't know but It wouldn't go away so I had write it down? Help.

I had written yoongis brother down too. Theres something about him? I'm not sure what but thats all I got lol

I was very strongly told that I needed to remember 7, that its important. Got it. Worth it down.

Oki. As I was going back to the platform blah blah blah the string turned blue too. The cord is usually white or silver but it was blue so that was a fun thing and then I was like "nice. Cool. Thanks. This was awesome, get healthy blah blah" and go to leave/ end the connection but the cord wouldn't go away.

???

What.

Then the string (idk if I said but that string shit is like on the third eye? Its connected to my forehead and his too.) Kind tightens.

I'm like, "oh shit."

Listen. Usually everything is smooth and nice and I just leave.

All is well though bc my guide is like, "stop being a little bitch" so I just let it happen.

Yoon shoves me back off the edge of the platform. Why he gotta be like that?

Now. This is strange. I had dropped down into a library.

Y'ALL

I almost shit my fucking pants. Dear god.

THE AKASHIC RECORDS MY DUDE

He started walking me around until he found a blue book. His mother fucking book.

Home boy brought me to his fucking Akashic fucking blue fucking book.

I was big mad. "YOU LITTLE FUCKER! YOUVE KNOWN ABIUT THIS SHIT?" And he was like, "duh"

I've never felt more disrespect lol

Also the way the library was presented was way way way different from how it looks to me. So thats an interesting note. Looking at his book, on the base of the spine is a number 7...

Oki. Cool. I asked if I could look and he said, "Sure, when you can find your way back."

This mother fucker threw me out of a meditative state. Have you ever woken up just before you hit the ground in one of those falling dreams? THAT WAS THE FEELING.

?? I'm not sure what the fuck just happened or if it holds actual significance.

Anyway. After cursing the fuck out of yoobi I started thinking what else 7 ment.

I was specifically told to remember 7 and it was on his book. Then It popped into my head (I want to say its because I'm smart and thought of it all by myself but I think that was my guide wanting me to keep my last brain cell safe). What is yoongis life path number?

Now I don't know shot about life path numbers but imma read up on them tonight. I used a life path calculator on Google. HIS LIFE PATH NUMBER IS 7 Y'ALL.

Maybe I'm dumb as fuck but yoobi never disappoints.

Conclusion: Yoon is fine. Hes just being a yoongi and a yoongi does.

⬆️Me after this reading⬆️

⬆️ Yoongi rn playing 12D chess⬆️

[2257-blr]

Behind your back pt 1 | Phillip Gallagher

imagine; youve been keeping a secret from everyone around you, rather than tell Lip, your boyfriend, you fabricate a lie to make him hate you.

WARNING: none

The soul-crushing truth. It ate away at me with every thought that consisted of him, and you can imagine how bad it was whenever he clouded my mind. It wanted out, it clawed at the barriers I made surrounding it wanting to be set free, it didn't care who it hurt in the process. It wanted to be known. But it couldn't come out. They'd look at me differently. He'd look at me differently. Lip.

He knew something was up, whether it was my tedious steps or paranoia that had seemed to be more noticeable than I had thought, he had brought it up with me a couple of times. But I always held up a front — confused —  unsure of what he was talking about but I knew, he was the one that was uninformed because I knew it all, I knew what was behind those barriers, what was so desperately trying to be set free. But he couldn't know.

I was sitting at the dinner table at the Gallaghers', trying to stop my heart from beating so fast and my leg nervously bounced on the ball of my foot under the table. My eyes were frantic scared someone would see through the cracks of my facade. Lip hadn't noticed. His eyes were trained on the bacon he was making me. Although it was around 9 pm and they had dinner hours ago. He knew something was wrong and he thought food might help. It wouldn't, but it helped the ache in my heart knowing that he cared for me.

But I can't be near him without feeling guilty, sick to my stomach kind of guilt, the one that isn't always so suffocating but is always there, in the back of my mind when our eyes meet or when his lips touch mine, guilt. Scared he'd find out what I'd done and hate me for it. I was scared for him to let me go, but maybe I'd have to let go of him first. Maybe he needed me gone, to stop the worry to stop him from hurting more than he already did.

"Hey, Lip. Oh, Jesus, Y/n you look like shit" Fiona said, rushing down the stairs causing my leg to freeze but my heartbeat increased as I frantically looked at her and back to my feet. I'm sure I was being subtle, but the pain in my chest increased. I felt so small, so weak. So, so weak.

"I-I'm fine," I say, glancing at Lip who had finally taken his eyes off the food and now had a growing look of concern on his face. I lean myself towards him, my mind scrambling, although he's so far from me, leaning makes me feel as though I'm standing beside him, trying to find the safety of his arms but I'm so goddamn far. "I'm alright, Lip. I promise." I reassured him, and myself.

He wasn't convinced, neither was I honestly. Fiona wasn't dumb either, she knew I wasn't okay. I didn't hide it as well as I thought, I knew they could see clear as day but I couldn't fix this, them bringing it up to me won't change anything. They don't want to know what's hiding within me, hell, I'd pay someone to make me forget it. But I lived it, It was me. I made the decision, no one else, me.

"We have movie night tonight, don't forget" Fiona reminds us, but I don't even hear her. My thoughts grew louder and the scratches began to feel real. I needed out of here. I couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm not actually that hungry. I'll come by later, I just need to get some fresh air right now" I scramble from my seat, rushing past Lip and Fiona. I notice Lip reach for me but his hand stops halfway and drops by his side, instead he painfully watches me as I nearly trip over my own feet, grabbing whatever coat was on the hanger since I knew it would be at least brisk outside.

Stepping outside I was glad I grabbed the coat, I shut the door behind me before trying to get off Gallagher's plot of land as fast as I could, and I felt somewhat at ease once I had exited their gate and began walking down the street, although the thought was still in the back of my mind. It felt better, not so suffocating.

Whenever I was around Lip it felt like I had a million voices screaming at me, wanting me to let the monster out of the cage. So tired of the constant scratching, the constant sinking feeling. I knew these were my own twisted thoughts speaking but I couldn't help but listen, Lip deserved better than me. A girl who lies to him just to hide the truth. Maybe this was better, for us both.

I continued walking, one foot in front of the other until I felt a hand latch onto my forearm, I instantly jolted away unsure of who they were until I saw his concerned blue eyes, I knew he wouldn't leave me out alone long, probably thought I needed a second alone but he probably just made the worst mistake running after me. Now I had to hurt the guy that I love with my entire heart. My entire body.

"Look, Y/n. You're going through shit alright, but I'm here. Don't push me away. Because when I was going through shit, you were there for me alright" Lip spoke, he sounded so fierce with his words yet they were so soft as well, warming me from the inside out. Pushing away from the guilt that gnawed at me. He was the one thing that distracted me but how could he also be the one thing that brought it so heavily into my head. "Just... Just talk to me."

I tried to look away, knowing that what I had to say was something neither of us wanted to hear, but it needed to be said. I'd rather tell him this lie than tell him the truth. He'd hate me but I'd prefer it this way. That way he never knows or has to. I feel his hand press lightly against my turned cheek, lightly pulling me back to face him. Revealing the tears that had spilled down from my eyes and the tears building up in his. He knew.

"I can't do this anymore, Lip. I'm so tired and I just need a break from this" I say, his hand falters from my face slightly before he places his hand on my opposite cheek, now with both of his hands holding my face, I'm unsure of his next words but I don't stop "Us. I can't do us anymore Lip, It was never going to work"

He shakes his head, the tears fall "Shut the fuck up. Alright, shut up. You don't mean that — you can't mean that." He kisses me "We love each other." Another kiss "Whatever you're going through, doesn't have to make us end like this" He shakes my head — not hard — trying to rid the thoughts that had compelled me to do this, but I grab his wrists and pull away but he only fights back harder, grabbing my own wrists in his hands leaving us stuck. "You don't get to do this, not now. Please" He begs.

"Fuck, Lip." I think, think of a way to make him hate me... I got it. I let go of his wrists, so now he's only holding mine. "There's someone else. I've been seeing someone else. And I-" The lie feels like acid on my tongue, and my nostrils burn but I continue "I love him, I'm sorry Lip"

He hasn't said a word, he hadn't even looked at me. How do you even react to a bomb like this, we were happy and now this. What had happened, oh, that's right. I fucked it all up. But this was going to happen one way or another whether it was from this lie or the truth. He lets go of my wrists, I had already let go prior. His head was bowed, I felt shameful. I let him down.

He finally looked up at me, with those beautiful blue eyes I fell for, the ones that held love, concern, happiness but now... now they looked enraged, betrayed, disgusted. I'd had rather die than known this look from Lip. He never looked down at me as much as he did right now. Hell, he'd probably never seen me like that ever.

"Don't ever fucking come near me again" He turns away from me and continues the walk back to his house but he stops, he fucking stops and he turns before saying "I should've seen it coming, dating a skank like you" With those last venomous words, he leaves. I hear the door slam shut behind him.

I stand frozen, appalled by my lie. I fell to the ground, leaning against the gate to the house I was unsure of. I hated myself so much for hurting him, for losing his trust that I would never gain back. But I reminded myself it was better this way. It was, for the both of us.

Now he'd never have to know about our miscarriage...

***

He slammed the front door behind him, his mind was swirling and he couldn't think straight. He wanted to punch something or — preferably the guy that had been fucking his girl — someone. He ignored the looks of concern on his family's face who were all sitting in the living room getting ready to watch a movie.

Lip hadn't seen it when he first entered but there was a spot on the end of the couch, enough space for two people. You and him. You were always there for movie night, Debbie would have your head if you didn't come. He wouldn't be surprised if Debbie is more hurt by the break up than him.

It felt surreal when he finally made it to his room, glad that no one was inside. He wanted to breathe, he didn't want to break anything but he wanted to break things like you had broken his heart. But hell, not even he was that merciless. He wanted to scream his throat raw and cry his sockets dry. But he felt so numb, so lost, so conflicted on his emotions that it frustrated him more.

"Fuck!" He yelled, slamming his hand into the wall. Ouch. Bad choice. But after the pain seared away, he wanted to do it again. You left his mind for a split second there. He knew that his pain wasn't in his chest but his hand. So he did it again. And again. Again. Aga- He heard the door open and he stopped. After a second, the pain faded and it reformed in his chest, your smile fading back into his mind. Dammit.

He could tell by the perfume that lingered around him that it wasn't one of his brothers, but his big sister. He wanted to cry, he felt so weak under her stare. So broken. Like he was some rusty ass toy that she had just found at the back of her closet. So overused and fragile. That's what you caused. He hated you so much right now.

"Lip... Your hand." Fiona points out, he notices the blood but he's silent, he moves away from her and sits on Ian's bed with his head in his hands. He wasn't even sure she was still in the room until he felt the bed sink beside him. "What happened? Where's Y/n?"

Y/n... Just your name, that's all it took for him to relive the moment all over again. The tears falling down your face, as you told him the truth. The distance that you had created between the two of you was so noticeable it hurt him, had you been so careless on purpose, did you want him to hurt, what had he done to deserve such pain from you. The love of his life.

"She loves someone else..." He mutters, it's hard to hear the words come from his own mouth. He wants someone to pinch him so he wakes up to find you sleeping soundly beside him, head on his chest and your legs tangled together but this wasn't a dream, if it was anything it was his worst nightmare. "She fucking loves someone else."

Lip hadn't noticed but Ian was now standing at the door, he heard the words that were said and that seemed to hang in the air. None of them knew what to do with it so it stayed floating waiting for someone to say something but what do you say to someone that had just lose their other half.

"Are you sure? I mean it's Y/n we're talking ab-" Fiona tries to make sure she's hearing things right, she knew you, you loved Lip more than life itself. There was no fucking way you had found someone else, someone new to love.

"Seeing as she just fucking ending things with me because there was someone else might be a clear fucking sign of that" He snaps at her, he doesn't mean to but he can't find a way to diminish this anger. Lip was now standing before Fiona, anger clear on his face as he felt a hand land on his shoulder. He turned to see Ian. His brother had been there for him his entire life. And he was here now. Of course, he was. Lip couldn't help but give him a small smile before it fell and Lip looked at his brother hoping he had the answer "What did I do wrong?"

Ian shook his head as Lip fell into his arms, sobs racking his body as he couldn't hold himself up anymore. They had seen Lip cry but never like this, never to the point of barely being able to hold himself up.

He loved you with every bit of himself, and when he lost you, well, he lost as much as he loved with.

[om-headcanon]

imagine several months have passed since the exchange program, the bros are asked by diavolo to go to the human world and investigate a rumor about a demon unlawfully making humans fall into temptation. how would they react when the find out that the perpetrator was mc, who used to be human? (make it angsty and extra painful please and thank you, i lov ur headcanons)

hey!! honestly i kinda struggled trying to figure out how i should make this ~super angsty~ and i was slightly confused in how to interpret this prompt, so i hope my interpretation is satisfactory! this is such a clever prompt, thank you! (and thank you for supporting me!!)

[for this headcanon, lets assume that upon turning into a demon, its hard for mc to access memories from being human... and that their demon form isnt as human as the brothers. also i didnt know how dark you wanted it but tw for blood and death/violence descriptions!]

lucifer

with trust, diavolo sends his best companion to investigate the mystery

he studies the day before on recent locations to get an idea of where this demon might be

he leaves the house early next morning heading to the last known location of the demon

it stood as if it were searching for yet another victim to tempt, and lucifer decided to make it known of his presence

“there is no way i, lucifer, could lose to something you, so maybe itd be wise to admit youve lost”

but allowing the demon to hear his name was a mistake, as it screaming his name sent him flying an acre

the only time he has ever felt power that strong was from your pact

it became very clear to him that not only you were the corrupted demon that stood before him, but also the pact you two shared was not tainted

lucy knew he was at an unfair disadvantage, but his pride couldnt let him flea

“end me right here if you must, mc, but at least ill die fighting”

mammon

hes terrified, but since lucifer is busy, he decided to handle it for him

he sent a few of his crow familiars to investigate where the demon was last, and proceeded to go to that location

“hey, uh, i dont think its wise for ya to be tempting humans, yanno”

upon meeting, he realises theres something off... he almost feels connected to it

but he decides to ignore the feeling

until he notices the demon wearing a ring he once gave you

mammon knew you felt familiar

but he learned fairly quickly the familiarity wasnt mutual when the demon punched his chest hard enough to shatter some ribs

you didnt care enough to fight him any more, and for some reason, that hurt him more

“i thought youd be the one to never hurt me”

leviathan

originally he didnt want to go, but then he realised this could be like a video game where you kill demons but in real life

that made him quite excited

in fact, he has a game like that (not shocking) and so he believed his experience could come to use

he used methods he learned from the game

levi left a trail of common human items to lure the demon to where he was

it was quite successful but not in the way he planned, as the demon stood behind him snarling

“woaaah- ah... wait...”

he noticed the demon wearing what resembled a ruri chan friendship bracelet he made for mc

he held its hand to get a better view and ensure thats really what it was

“mc... that cant be you in there...”

the demon pulled away from him abruptly and ended up slinging levi 20 feet across the ground

he couldnt tell what hurt more... his back from the impact, or the fact he lost his only friend

satan

hes way too excited about this

he gets to be a detective AND punish the demon in question once he finds them? this is like a dream to him

it shouldnt be difficult because theres no way he could lose a fight being one of the most powerful demons

satan follows a trail of footsteps that seem to accurately match the descriptor diavolo gave him

to his surprise, the demon was already there

satan feels as if hes solved the case, but he still has to take the demon back to custody

“look, sorry but im going to have to kill you. if you want, you can cause trouble and make this more fun for me when i torture you.”

the demon turns to his direction and he sees a faded pact mark of his on skin that used to be human

“no...”

satan tried backed away but the demon managed to pierce through his stomach with its finger

hes never once shown any hostility towards you... but he now knows youre really not you anymore

and as he lay on the ground coughing up blood, he regrets showing peace

asmodeus

he really doesnt want to do this, but because asmo is capable of charming, diavolo thought hed be the best fit for this expedition

all of the reports regarding the demon making humans fall into their temptation were from the same location, so he heads there

he sits on a curb in the near vicinity waiting for any sign of movement

when he hears the sound of growls approaching, asmo puts down the majolish magazine he was reading and gets up with a smile

“wow, a fiesty one are you! we cant have you causing more damage so if youd just look into my eyes, thatd be wonderful!”

asmos smile falls when he notes how familiar those eyes are

“mc...? i- how? how did this-“

with no effort, you slash his chest with your claws and he falls onto the ground bleeding

he never could charm you, could he...

beelzebub

because of beels excessive strength, diavolo thought sending him to handle the demon would be best

he packs a good 125 snacks to take with him

he laughed to himself on the way, thinking about how the last time he willingly walked into a battle was the war

“oh-“

lost in his daydream, he ended up walking into the demon he was looking for

the smell was all too familiar, and he quickly made the connection regarding who this demon was

“mc! i missed you so much”

almost as if he forgot the circumstances, he tried to hold you in a hug

the demon reacted suddenly and aggressively, throwing beel to the ground

he would have taken more damage if he didnt offer some of his food as a peace offering

regardless, the blow to the back didnt hurt as much as his heart did watching all that was left of both his sister and you walk away forever

belphegor

the only reason he went through with investigating was to satisfy his own curiosity, not because diavolo wanted him too

he went to the human world himself to the location of the last known incident and waited

he walked around a bit before he saw a demon sleeping on the curb

one thing about belphie is he always remembers how someone looks when they sleep

“theres no way this is mc...”

belphies voice startled the demon awake and it started fighting as a result, puncturing his chest and leading him to fall to the ground

“i killed you once and ill kill you again if i have to!”

thats something he never thought hed say and his eyes water as his heart aches knowing the one he once loved stands in front of him like this

blood rushing out his heart, he decides to use his twin telepathy one last time

“goodbye, beel...”

[daddynegandesires]

My little runaway pt. 3

(Summary: after returning back to the sacutuary negan leaves on one of his runs only to come back to an unexpected turn of events.)

⚠Warning: strong language, angst, physical fighting, smut⚠

Mature content

3 days later

Its been days since negan has been out on his run youve been helping out around the sanctuary cleaning and cooking for everyone. You have been letting people slide without using their points for food and other activities. The point system always seemed like a dumb idea to you never seemed fair to have people earn points just for things they desperately needed. Finishing up the dishes in the kitchen you heard everyone in the dining hall go silent. You walked around the corner to see everyone on their knees..negan must have arrived you kept yourself hidden in the kitchen knowing you havent been exactly following by his rules since he has been gone. Quietly finishing putting up the dishes you sneak outside around back moments before negan suddenly bursts outside.

"(Y/n)....where are you!!" Negan began pacing around looking for you when he turned the corner to see you leaning up against the wall

"You!..."

Negan charged up to you grabbing you by the throat slamming you against the wall.

"What is with you!?" You said clearly before getting all of the air stuck from entering into you

Negan began to drag you back inside infront of all saviors throwing you on the floor with a loud thump as your body hit the ground.

" i want everyone to see whos in charge here and its me!! Not her..me...im sorry you guys have to witness this the hard way....but you leave me no other choice..rules are rules!" negan gripped lucille tightly raising her above his head

You were sitting on the concrete floor still trying to comprehend everything that is going on and, in a sudden flash you were struck across the arm. A sharp shooting pain bursted throughout my whole body causing me to scream in agony. Blood was rushing down your arm you covered it with your hand feeling it seep between your fingers. You were now laying on the floor crying infront of everyone feeling humiliated while negan stood there with a nasty grin. He began to get ready to strike you again. The bat slashed across your arm again this time harder and more painful feeling of the barbwire sinking into your flesh ripping it off. You tried to protect your face with your hands before he could get another swing in. Blood now splattered all over negan your screams now filled the building of the sanctuary

"Negan stop!" Dwight stepped infront of negan blocking you

Negans eyes grew black as he realized what dwight was doing. He knew he was getting his fair share of punishment too for stepping up.

"She cant take it.....negan she is your bestfriend she is bleeding out you are going to kill her!" Dwight yelled

Realizing what he had just done negan dropped lucille to the ground everything began to feel like it was in slow-motion and, my head was pounding. Negan pushed Dwight out of the way and scooped you up dripping blood all over his white shirt he rushed you to the doctor they had there. Busting in through the door he placed you down on the operating table the last thing you seen was negan staring back at you before everything went black.

*Nightmare*

"Fuck me harder..." You could feel yourself slowly buckling under him.

With every thrust negan was grunting louder his cock filled you up perfectly. The wetness of your pussy making that sexy sound he loved so much. You had almost forgotten that you were fucking in his and lucilles bed...which made you feel like a peice of shit. Lucille was in the hospital dying from cancer and negan said this was a way to help him "cope". I thought otherwise....

"Fuck you are so tight.....your pussy feels so fucking good" negan moaned biting at your neck slamming into your pussy faster.

You began to drag your nails down his back causing him to grunt out in pain he then grabbed you by the throat squeezing untill you let out small moans. He began fucking you faster you couls feel his cock swelling up inside of you getting him closer to the edge of blowing his load. He took his free hand gently rubbing it over your clit. Your moaning grew louder and louder the faster his fingers went.

"Negan.....how could you!" A faint voice called out.....

*end of Nightmare*

You suddenly woke up in a sweaty panic to only realize you were hooked up to IV monitor's. You began to raise yourself up when a sharp pain beamed through your arm causing you to cry out in pain you looked around the room and spotted negan in the chair beside you slumped over fast asleep. Everything that happended slwoly started coming back to you negan humiliating you infront of everyone and, almost killing you with lucille.

"Your up..." Neagn said in a raspy tired tone

You couldn't bring yourself to say anything to him not after what he just did to you he could have killed you!. All you could do was stare at him you didnt even know who you were staring at anymore all you knew is that you had to get out of here nothing will ever change with him. Ever.

Negan rose up from his seat moving over to the bed sitting down by you he raised up his hand to caress your face which caused you to flinch. His face looked full of guilt and sadness he was struggling to keep eye contact with you. You pushed his hand off of you shooting him a dirty look.

"I need you to leave....now" you spoke through gritted teeth turning your face away from him.

"I dont want anything to do with you ever again!!..im done with you..now get out!" A fire grew inside of you, your voice full of rage there was no other choice but to distance yourself from this moster. Negans face twitched at the words that had just came out of your mouth he looked at you one last time before stading up to grab Lucille. It felt like there was a knot in your throat it was hard for you to do this but it had to end this way.

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Its been weeks since me and negan have spoke let alone make eye contact with eachother. Ive been getting along with everyone nicely in the sanctuary even have been going on a few supply runs, not with negan course. My arm was almost fully healed but im left with an eye sore of a scar i have to deal with for the rest of my life. I cant forgive negan for what he did to me he went to far this time i can no longer put my trust in him. My night terrors have been increasingly bad lately i always end up tossing and turning all night. Dwight and i have actually been getting along with eachother and working as a team he has been keeping in touch with rick for me. Dwight isnt so fond of negan anymore either hes been sneaking around behind negans back giving information to Daryl.

I was in my room getting dressed when there was a sudden knock on my door it was dwight.

"Hey...how you doing?" He walked in leaving the door open behind him

"Im okay. Whats up?" I questioned, while sliding a knife into my belt loop

"Im not sure how to say this but we have to go on a run today wit-"

"Okay? Thats fine with me" i cut him off mid scentence while sliding on my leather jacket

"With negan..." He finished.

You took a deep breath in and ruffled your hair with your fingers annoyingly before letting your hands fall on your thighs causing it to make a slapping sound. Dwight stood there staring at the ground nervously waiting for you to respond.

"Okay then..." Letting out a deep sigh as much as you didnt want to be around negan you really didnt have any other choice right now. You and dwight left your room only to bump yourself into negan causing you both to grunt you just pushed right past him not saying anything making your way out to the truck ready to leave. Negan walks outside up to the truck you can hear him faintly whispering to someone. The door flings open and with one swift motion negan plops down in his seat slamming the door shut. You could feel negans eyes on you from the rearview mirror. Dwight hopped in the driver seat and drove off causing for an awkward silence untill we reached our destination.

"I gotcha.." Dwight said holding out his hand to help you out of the truck

All you could do was keep quiet and take the offer dwight was giving, negan as usual was standing there with a cocked smile ready at any moment to say some smartass bullshit. The three of us began to walk off when we came up on a pharmacy the windows were untouched, no broken glass all of the shelves look fully stocked Negan walked in tapping lucille on the counter giving warning to any walkers that could be inside. I followed behind him heading straight over to the medicine filling my bag up. All negan could do was walk around while watching me and dwight stock up on everything we needed.

"This place is a gold mine....untouched" negan said pacing back and forth

You were watching Negan gaze out of the front window of the building when we heard a yell come from the backroom we all quickly ran back there it was a man getting eaten by a walker, ripping his flesh off of his bones peice by peice.

"Put him out of his misery what are you waiting for!!?" You panicked yelling at negan

"Dwight ..." Negan said in a low tone

"You fucking coward!" You quickly pulled your gun out of your pocket pulling the trigger putting a bullet in the poor mans skull

"Wow....fiesty..." Negan said licking his bottom lip

"You fucking disgust me!...you are pathetic!!" You shoved your gun back into your pocket marching up to negan

"Dont excite me now darlin.." He let out a dirty grin slicking his hair back with his free hand

"Im so fucking tired of you...you act like you are the greatest man alive. You are a cheater! And a liar! Thats all you ever will be lucille would of never wanted this!" you screamed in his face before marching back to the truck. Negan and dwight came out to the truck shortly while gathering up the rest of the supplies. All you could do was sit with your arms crossed and a bitchy look on your face. Negan kept glacing at you out of the corner of his eye as if he had to keep watch over you.

When you arrived back at the sanctuary you rushed out of the truck storming off to your room slamming the door shut behind you. You were rumaging through the cabnets hoping to find a bottle of alcohol to calm yourself down with. The thoughts just kept floading through your head the night lucille died...you couldnt get negan cheating on her out of your mind you felt so guily so, disgusted with yourself...you were her bestfriend and you were fucking her husband. Grabbing ahold of the glass filled with dark brown alcohol you popped the lid off bringing it up to your lips. The smell of it almost stinging your nose, swallowing the alcohol it burned your throat a feeling you havent felt inawhile. Tears were streaming down your face as you slide down the wall behind you chugging down your drink. I just want to forget everything...