#idk how the timeline thing woudle ven work tbh

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

remember how 13 said "i could always go back" to yaz at the end of revolution?

DOCTOR: I could always use the Tardis to go back, arrive an hour after you guys, change the timeline. Then we'd have more time together.

rare little look in her thought processes i think she gives yaz there. only in distress of course. like "i had a chance while it was broken". but these are some drastic measures as a first resort. like you could also just go visit you know

"change the timeline" you have to wonder if she would have if yaz had quit too (bet she wouldve), you have to wonder if shes done it before. changing little things, moments where she said too much, snapped too harshly, got panicky that they'd leave her over it

you have to wonder if "because you ask too many questions" was, like, tried and tested. if there was a timeline somewhere where she took them to gallifrey, or multiple. because she got fed up, or too lonely, or wanted to punish or shock or hurt someone like she was hurting. after orphan 55. "you think thats bad? you still have a chance! you can save it! stop wallowing"

she doesnt mind fudging stuff - "wiping the things you shouldnt have knowledge of", "maybe i'll nip straight to tomorrow lunchtime" - she has no qualms about smoothing over the rough edges, moments of boredom or loneliness or inconvenience. i wouldnt be surprised if she got in a fight with the fam once and rewound the entire day, them none the wiser

i wouldnt be surprised if shes done this enough times that she managed to postpone ryan and graham leaving from can you hear me to revolution. if "is this our lives?" was just all that was left from a handful of timelines where ryan decided to stay home / took graham with him / had yaz reconsider her home-tardis balance. "did i interrupt? am i interrupting?" did i get all the kinks out this time? youre not thinking of leaving are you?

skip ahead a year (or four) and how many times has she kissed yaz and erased it? how many times to get it right? how many times despite herself? how many relationships has she started and cut off right away, one week in, two months in, made it almost a year before the impending loss started to feel to heavy to bear and she quit, rewound, promised herself not again we're not doing it we're not doing that. you cant convince me it wouldnt leave traces. hunches, feelings, impressions, an uncanny amount of déjà vu

"that trick you did with shelley..." "what trick?" "making him experience his death" "hm" "how did you do that?" "want to know how youre going to die? thats a bit morbid, yaz" "just wondering if you can do anything else like that" "like that?" "like mind....manipulating....stuff" "i didnt manipulate him" "whatever you want to call it" "no. i cant" "you can talk to the master, right? in your head" "thats mind manipulation now?" "i dont know, how should i know? goes in the same category doesnt it?" "how about you tell me what goes in the category" "......" "if theres something you want to ask me-" "no nothing" "okay, well, good then" "good" "we've got an sos. want to go check it out?" "obviously"

wringing the last drop of time she can get out of a finite amount of months. spending all of it in the future, in the past, lying, regretting, rewinding, retrying. like theres a formula she could find that will let her have the joy without the pain. in the process deciding, for yaz as well as herself, and conciously or not, to sacrifice the joy in the attempt to avoid the pain

i think 14 looks like 10 bc 13 spent the last year thinking a lot abt river & time & the direction it flows & the cruel irony of even time travellers' inability to fix things

river the astronaut river the archeologist river the "did you think i was asking you to marry me or asking if you were married?" river the "youre acting like we've never done that before"