#grishaverse inej oneshot

[heliads]

inej ghafa x fem!reader?? I feel like things like this are missing on tumblr. kaz and reader are a duo and many consider them a couple but r likes inej and inej likes r. just something where kaz is tired of hearing his best friend talking about his other best friend and decides, in his own way, to play "cupid" so they can finally leave him alone. i really need to see kaz being "cupid's best friend" to both of them and being secretly happy for them (male-female friends exist, nobody remembers??)

male-female friends DO exist, speak on that anon

masterlist

“I think Kaz Brekker is going to kill me.”

This is not an unusual announcement to make in the Barrel. The fact that you’re saying this aloud to an empty room, although odd, is again not something that happens infrequently. Dirtyhands has a reputation for going after anyone who slights him, and he doesn’t accept apologies when he can take something a little more permanent, like a life. Many of his victims are prone to complaining via soliloquy.

The only difference between you and the dozens of Ketterdam residents currently pacing restlessly in fear of Kaz’s wrath is the response such a statement receives. When you make your pronouncement, instead of being greeted by the rustle of wind against the eaves or an ominous feeling in the pit of your stomach, you’re answered by the Wraith herself.

Inej chooses to respond to you instead of retreating back to the Slat to tell Kaz his latest fear campaign has worked, unlike how she’d treat anyone else. Although she wasn’t visible in the room, the second you speak aloud to the seeming emptiness, Inej appears in a flash of dark fabric, crouched on your window ledge, and says, “Don’t be ridiculous.”

You frown at her. “I am not being ridiculous. I think he actually means it this time.”

Inej rolls her eyes, slipping into your room through the window you’re pretty sure was locked from the inside when you were last here. “That’s just his usual friendly demeanor. You’ve known him even longer than I have, Y/N, you can’t possibly think that he means you any harm.” 

You grimace. “See, that’s what I thought too. I mean, I met Kaz when we were both kids, I’ve kind of taken our friendship for granted. He’s never so much as stubbed my toe with his cane.”

Inej frowns. “So what changed?”

“It’s happened a few times now,” you admit. “He keeps saying stuff about how something with me has got to change, and if I don’t get around to it, he’ll fix the problem I’ve created. He wasn’t joking, Inej. Whatever I’ve done, he’s not inclined to back down until he gets it sorted out, and you know how Kaz likes to solve his problems.”

Inej winces. “Kaz threatens a lot of people. You can’t take it too much to heart.”

“If you were there, you would know,” you grumble. “He seemed, like, genuinely unhappy. He said that my problem was starting to cast a pall on his reputation. He said I was making it his concern. Usually, he trusts me to sort out my issues, but this– this was different.”

Inej must be able to sense your genuine concern, because her expression softens and she walks forward, placing a soft hand on your shoulder. “I’m sure he doesn’t mean it. Kaz has a lot on his plate. You’re his best friend, Y/N, or so Kaz would say if he would let himself rely on anyone. He doesn’t want you dead.”

You lean into her palm. Just like always, it brings comfort like nothing else. Just like always, you can’t help but chase the warmth of her touch, wishing for more that you may never receive. Not as a friend. Not just this. “You’re his best friend, too. Have you heard anything?”

Inej shakes her head. “Not a word. I can ask, though. Discreetly, of course.”

You smile. “Of course. I trust your secret ways, you know that.”

Inej laughs, and pulls away after a heartbeat, although her eyes follow the place her hand had been for a while longer. “I think I’ll talk to him now. I don’t want you worrying for no reason.”

You let out a grateful sigh. “Thank you, Inej. I mean it.”

She flashes you a grin as she heads back towards the window. “Anytime, Y/N. One more question, though,” she adds, perched halfway in your room and halfway in the open air of the Kerch streets, “How did you know I was here? When you first said you thought Kaz was going to kill you, I mean, how’d you know I would hear it? I didn’t make a sound.”

You lift a shoulder. “I just did.”

Inej frowns crossly. “I need to know so I can improve my skills. What gave it away?”

You grin. “Maybe I didn’t know. Maybe I was just talking to myself.”

Inej scoffs. “You don’t do that.”

She says it with absolute certainty, the product of enough time spent watching from the shadows. “What if I knew when you were watching so I only talked to empty rooms when I knew you weren’t around?” You ask, laughing.

“That still brings us back to the subject of how you always know when I’m there,” Inej points out.

You wave a hand vaguely around. “I don’t know. Honestly. I just feel it, I guess.”

Inej considers this, still crouched on the window ledge, her heels over empty air, her knuckles brushing the cracking paint. You walk closer so you can get a better look at her. The midnight moonlight clings to her hair, her skin; it’s not just you who doesn’t want to let her go, or so it seems. Inej smiles at you, fond, and then she’s gone, disappearing into the empty night air. You surge to the window, but even after sticking your head out and looking around, you can’t spot one flicker of movement. She has simply vanished, as if from the very country itself.

You don’t know that you could respond any better to Inej’s question even if you were ready for it. You never have been able to put a proper name to the sensation you get whenever Inej is nearby. Some could call it infatuation, others could refer to it as a good friendship, but it’s more than that. Inej is the person you look to first in a firefight. Inej is the one you want to see when you have the day off, when you’re finally safe from a dangerous job. It’s her. Always has been.

You started looking for her in earnest the day you realized that the feelings you had for her were more than just platonic. After that, it was easy. Inej is not so pedestrian as to reveal herself in a shower of loose roof tiles, nor a kicked pebble on the street, but she is still human. If you really try, you can hear her in the quiet of perfect stillness. The brush of cloth against cloth. One held breath. Even secrecy makes noise, and you’ve memorized every way to tell it’s her when a shadow lingers nearby.

You don’t get a response until the next morning. You’re idling on the cobblestoned streets, pretending to wait for a friend but really watching the flow of pigeons from the Dime Lions’ club to the Dregs’. You tuck your face into your hand to hide a yawn, and when you look back up, blinking against the crisp wind, Inej is by your side, leaning against the railing of a bridge just a step or two away. 

“‘Morning, Inej,” you greet her. “Sleep well?”

She smiles, closing her eyes so she can tilt her head back and bask in the meager few rays of morning sun that have managed to break through the dense clouds that usually block out Ketterdam sunrises. “You know,” she says absentmindedly, “I really do like that about you. Everyone else just demands information whenever I show up. You say hello.”

You feel the corners of your lips flicker up in a traitorous smile despite your best attempts not to respond to the compliment. “Is it terrible if I ask for information on your conversation with Kaz now, then?”

Inej laughs, shaking her head. “No, that's why I’m here. I think you’re right to be scared, by the way.”

You freeze slightly. “You actually think he’s going to kill me? Inej, I thought you were here to reassure me that everything was fine, not confirm my fears.”

Inej ponders this. “I don’t think he’s actually going to kill you. Just shake you up a little, maybe. I think he was more mischievous than genuinely threatening.”

This doesn’t make you feel any better. “Kaz’s idea of a fun parlor joke is stabbing someone through the hand. I’m going to need a little more evidence of his support of me before I sleep well at night again, thank you very much.”

Inej shrugs. “I think it’s very unreasonable for you to want to feel safe around Kaz Brekker, but everyone has to have their dreams, I suppose. If you want an indication of his favor, though, he’s assigned both of us to a job.”

This does grab your attention. Kaz would only trust you with Inej on a job if he really believed in you. Of course, he could be sending Inej to kill you, but you don’t think she’d do that. Inej would never hurt you. She’s pledged that before, and you made the same promise to her.��

We all come to the Barrel for terrible, terrible reasons, and sometimes those reasons make themselves known in long and awful nightmares. Sometimes, when you wake up screaming, you need a friend who will never hurt you. Someone you can trust unconditionally. Sometimes, when one girl wakes up in a haze of bad memories, tears hot on her face, she needs another girl to hold her until the shaking stops. A girl to promise that there will be someone else in the world who will watch after her, who will keep the endless fears at bay. It was you for Inej, and it was Inej for you.

So no, then– if Inej was asked to hurt a hair on your head, she would not only refuse but protect you from other would-be assassins. The only answer is to then trust that this mission of Kaz’s is not designed to hurt either of you.

“Alright,” you say, shrugging your shoulders, “What does he want from us?”

He doesn’t provide you with an awful lot of information, that Dirtyhands. Inej tells you an address, a room, an object, and a time. You both head to your destination. There isn’t much security at all, hardly any passersby, so you’re able to slip in without difficulty. Once inside the designated room, you notice that there’s not much inside, just some simple furniture and a note on the desk.

The note you read with increasing indignance. Inej, who has been scouting out the room’s perimeter, glances over at you with concern when you fling the paper back against the desk. “What is it?”

“This is a trap,” you tell her, furious, “And it’s all Kaz’s doing.”

Inej furrows her brow, then softly pads across the room to pick up the note and read it herself. You can tell from the swiftly changing expression on her face alone what she’s discovering, having practically committed the note to memory yourself.

Dear Y/N and Inej,

I have had enough. Both of you have something that you need to tell each other. I have grown tired of both of you tiptoeing around it, so you won’t be leaving until I hear you say it.

K.B.

Both you and Inej turn in unison to stare at the door, but before either of you can start towards it, you hear the door lock with an audible click. You glance towards the window, but Inej shakes her head. “Locked from the outside. He must have specifically chosen this room and secured it beforehand so none of us can get out. It’s basically a holding cell.”

You yell some choice insults at Dirtyhands in general, but you only hear a soft, low laugh from behind the door, which is incredibly frustrating. You pivot slowly back to Inej, who is swaying slightly back and forth on the balls of her feet.

“Well,” you say as casually as you can, “I guess we have to say something to each other, then. That’s it, though, and then we can leave.”

“Yes,” Inej says evenly. “But what to say?”

You have a terrible feeling building in the pit of your stomach, something telling you that you know exactly what Kaz wants you to say to Inej. It might have something to do with the feelings you keep burying whenever she’s around, but the note said that both of you had to say this thing, and there’s no way that Inej could ever– she wouldn’t feel the same way, no. It must be something else, then.

“Any idea what Kaz would want from us? You’re pretty up to date on his motives,” you mention cautiously.

Inej looks studiously at the ground. “You’ve known him for longer. Maybe you would have a better guess than me.”

The floor receives your stare as well. It’s easier than looking her in the eyes. Easier than trying to make a guess as to whether or not she could possibly love you. Inej takes to prodding the door and window for possible gives, even attempting to see if the ceiling could be pushed aside to make room for escape, but no luck.

You plead weakly with her as she attempts to unscrew the hinges of the door with one of her knives. “Is whatever he wants you to say to me really that bad that you would go to all this trouble to avoid it?”

Inej stills, her hand still on the frame of the door. “You have no idea what he wants me to say.”

“But you do,” you counter, “Don’t you?”

“It’s about you,” she whispers. “It could be terrible.”

“If it’s you,” you tell her, “It could never be terrible.”

Slowly, carefully, Inej turns to look at you. Her eyes are wide and haunted. It occurs to you that maybe you were wrong, maybe she is here to kill you in some sort of way. She could hurt you without ever drawing blood. It would be easy at a time like this, with your entire body thrumming in the wild, desperate hope that the secret Inej must share is something that you have to tell her as well.

Her voice is quiet, barely even a sigh, when she speaks at last. “He knew that I love you.”

It is strange, how even with your mad hopes and prayers, you’re still absolutely consumed by the knowledge that Inej Ghafa loves you when it is finally confirmed aloud. You go completely quiet, mind racing with this incredible knowledge. Inej owes nothing to the world. She defies gravity, she defies nations. She gives nothing if she can take it, but Inej– Inej has given you her heart, free of charge, and it is the most lavish and lovely gift you could ever hope to own.

Whatever reaction Inej was hoping for, she must not find it in your awestruck face, because she abruptly turns to the door and knocks on it loudly. “I told her,” she says crossly, although you swear you detect a little bit of fear undercutting her words, “Now let me out.”

“Not yet,” you plead with her. “He can’t let you go yet. Not until I tell you that I love you, too.”

This time, Inej doesn’t turn slowly. Instead, it’s as if she’s crossed from the door to you in half a second. “Really?”

Inej never doubts herself, nor the information she gathers. Still, the look of pure joy on her face when you repeat your feelings makes her ask again, and again. You have no problem answering her. For once, you are not afraid.

The door clicks open. You glance towards it. “Footsteps on the landing.”

Inej lets out a quiet half-laugh. “Let him go. It would be sporting to give him a head start before we chase him down for pulling a stunt like this.”

You grin in response. “Still, I suppose we shouldn’t be too devastating in our wrath. Who knows how long we would have kept this a secret.”

Inej tilts her head to the side, considering this. “I don’t know. I’m rather good at finding out secrets.”

You arch a brow. “Is that so? How long do you think I’ve loved you, then?”

Inej beams. “Tell me.”

You impulsively reach out a hand, smoothing back a dark lock of hair from her face. “Since the very start.”

This is only the first of many such secrets. Inej has yet to learn just what made you love her, or where you were when you figured it out, or even perhaps how you learned to tell when she’s trying to sneak up on you. Until then, however, you have no doubt that she’ll commit herself to figuring out every intricacy that makes up the girl she loves. You. Until then, you welcome the challenge.

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @mayfieldss, @eclliipsed, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggie2000, @baju69, @crazyhearttragedy, @budugu, @aoi-targaryen

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[barrel-crow-n]

Sitting in bed doing nothing as if I don't have a multi chapter fic to cowrite, two flirt!Kaz fics waiting in my notes app, a show canon divergence au where Kaz performs magic to get into Os Alta with the troupe to plan, a dad!Kaz fic where Kaz adopts a little girl off the streets of the Barrel to continue planning, a pre-canon prison fic to start, and a heart-to-heart Kaz&Jesper fic plan to continue working on.

[honeii-puff]

In which five times Kaz bakes for the crows

[olskuvallanpoe]

new fic: sun & shadow

kanej (six of crows), 4.2k words - au, hurt/comfort

summary: “as a young boy, kaz rietveld had lived a life filled with light. / years later, kaz brekker fell in love with a girl made of shadow.”

[delusionalgirlwritingfanfic]

So apparently, I'm never leaving my hyper fixation on the grisha verse yet again. I have an oc one shot that I had not planned on writing but loved too much not too keep and will eventually realse it because it's been sitting at already six pages long, I wanted to knock it out. However, ignoring the rabling, I am taking requests for Kaz Brekker slash any crow ideas and Nikolia Lantsvo. School has restarted college is tame as of thus far I will try my best to keep up if y'all want anything.

[favflcwer]

dear reader,

✧.* about me

sai. she/her. minor. filo.

✧.* my interests

the marauders. the secret history. bridgerton. formula one. the grishaverse. writing and reading (fanfic / originals). romcom films. good music.

✧.* info

• i plan to open my requests soon :)

• feel free to submit posts through my “care to whisper?” page.

• i was on here before as @/saidencii but ykyk fresh start and all that.

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Birdsong: Hollow Moon

Fandom: Grishaverse: Six of Crows Summary: Jesper likes taking little odd jobs, they let him meet new people. Very pretty people, that he likes collecting. Despite the fact that he already has four of them waiting for him back home, he can't help but flirt with the woman that just walked into his friend's bar. Warnings: implied unhealthy relationships, implied ableism, alcohol, and implied sexual content Word Count: 6,388 Ship(s): Nina Zenik/Jesper Fahey/Kaz Brekker/Wylan Van Eck/Inej Ghafa/Matthias Helvar

Archive link!

A/N: I edited and got this ready to be uploaded on the same day that I'm posting it so if there are typos and spelling errors please be kind to me because I wasn't able to spend as much time on it as I wanted. I hope that you guys enjoy this installment! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

Jesper Fahey had been taking odd jobs for as long as he could remember. Back when he was living with his father, across the country from where he was now, he had always signed up to do whatever had sounded interesting. Several of the farmhands that were the same age as him at that time had dedicated jobs that they had to check on every day, but Colm understood that wasn’t right for his son. Jesper was allowed to drift from job to job as long as he completed the tasks correctly and on time. It was what had worked best for him, which is why his schooling had struggled so much before he had the supporte he needed from his partners.

Jesper’s favorite job was working with the local theater near where he lived. It was the first place that he had managed to secure a job while trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life now that he was no longer twenty miles from the nearest other living person. Poppy was the child of a family friend of theirs and had taken him in, but had also pushed him towards the theater. 

He liked acting well enough, but memorizing the lines under the more strict directors that wouldn’t let him improvise was dull so he had to make sure that he avoided them. That limited the amount of acting jobs that he was allowed to take, but he was good when it came to the props as well. The stage crew was always so light that he was allowed to drift from job to job to job while completing about half of each. Sometimes he would leave them and someone else would come and pick them up, sometimes he found himself scrambling to get them finished the night before they had to be used. He liked the rush-rush-rush and changing nature of the theater jobs. It was alway something different and new, never the same show and rarely ever with the same premise.

He had a soft spot for the specific theater that he had been working in not just because it was the first place that really let him thrive as an adult, but also because it was the job that he had when he met Matthias. The other man had just barely moved from Denmark and was struggling to speak English, let alone hold down a job that required him to decipher the language through reading as well. Jesper had been a wonderful conversationalist and helped him adapt to a culture that he didn’t really understand.

They had both been rather lost in the big city, Jesper having grown up on a farm and the new place that Matthias lived being so different than his last one. It didn’t take long before they became as thick as thieves, and then only a week after that was when they had shared their first kiss. Things had been a little complicated in the moment since Jesper was also navigating the relationship that was beginning to develop between him and his two best friends in the entire world.

Tonight brought him a job that he was enjoying at least a little bit, though he was excited for it to end. A friend of his owned a bar close to the one that his boyfriend ran, so Jesper had agreed to be a stand in bartender during the interim of the last one quitting and the owner being able to hire a new one. He hadn’t anticipated that quitting to happen directly when Inej was getting back from the shows that she had been doing in Germany, which made him a little antsy to get back to his home.

They had all finished moving into the estate that he and Wylan had cleared out, which meant that they were all finally back together. It was a bit of a steep learning curve but they each had their own rooms and space so that they could be away from each other when they needed it. Still, of course, they were living together which meant that they had to learn and work around the new quirks of every person in the house.

Jesper had tended a bar before, usually at the Crow Club after Kaz asked him to with those puppy dog eyes that he just couldn’t ignore. Kaz was better at begging with his eyes than Matthias’ dog Djel, which was saying something.

This establishment was different than Kaz’s in the aesthetic and the types of people that it attracted. The layout had tables scattered around the main floor, all of them the same color of dark cherry wood with a different numbers of chairs littered around them. They were all stocked with a bowl in the center that could be filled with peanuts, fries, or chips depending on what they ordered. The walls were lined with booths that had red coverings and silver outlines, along with a couple of tasteful art pieces. There were also TVs littered around the space, pointed in different direction so that people could catch the news or a variety of sports games playing on the cable channels that the bar paid for. The bar itself had the three regular flavors of juice that were mixed into cocktails, as well as the soda gun. The rows and rows of alcohol behind him were kept in place with a thin clear plastic band so that he could see the label for when someone asked for something specific. In front of him were a couple of stools for people to sit on, which Jesper half hated despite his general love for people and communication.

He had been serving drinks to people for the better part of two hours and was growing bored with it. He wished that he could switch the TV to something else to distract him from the growing pile of texts in his pocket. Inej and Wylan were being bad influences on each other and encouraging him to skip out on the rest of his job and come home early so that he could spend time with them. Inej had only been back home for a couple of days so having her around them was relatively novel again, which made the fact that he was away from her during that returning honeymoon period all the more annoying.

The people milling around the bar were still far and few between for how early it was in the night. He’d see a much larger surge in the crowd leaning towards midnight, when the bar closed. His friend owned one of those places where working people were supposed to come after they got dinner with their friends to get a drink before they returned to the monotony of their lives. That meant that he was making a lot of whisky and not a lot of the cocktails that he enjoyed making.

He had recently been experimenting with his recipe’s on Matthias’ behalf to try and find him a non-alcoholic version of the drink that he had gotten at The Blue Jay when he and Kaz had met up a business partner a few weeks ago.

Despite the time, things seemed like they were about to get a lot more interest as a big group entered into the bar. There were two men and four women from what Jesper could see. He didn’t like to assume that kind of thing more than he had to, but he also liked to looked for the stereotypical dramas that played out in a lot of people’s lives. He was always open to being corrected, but speculating about what was happening in groups he wasn’t a part of was one of the only things that kept him sane during the monotony of this kind of job.

Jesper continued to work on the drinks that had been ordered from him, keeping his eye on the group as they found one of the booths towards the back of the bar that was big enough to fit everyone. They were discussing something between themselves, obviously already very close based on the way that they were knocking against each other and grabbing things out of each other’s hands.

It reminded him of being back home with his partners, which made his heart ache. He didn’t realize how much being out of the house at night just a few days after Inej came back home was going to be tearing him up, but it was.

He tried to distract himself as he focused on making the drink that he had been sipping on himself for the last hour. He made a point of not drinking when he was at work even if Kaz could very easily coerce him into having a drink or two when they were having date nights, but he would allow himself one if he fucked up a cocktail in a very slight way. It felt like a shame to waste alcohol and juice just because he had accidentally messed up the ratio away from the vodka.

“Barkeep!” a sultry voice from behind him said. It was rich and deep in a way that would have made a wonderful second alto if she was singing, and entrenched in a very nice accent.

“Yes?” he asked, a smirk playing over his lips as he turned around to face her. She had the looks to match the voice that she had, absolutely gorgeous and very obvious that she was somewhat aware of that.

She had long brown hair that was curled around the side of her face and woven intricately back into a bun on the back of her head. Her jawline was just sharp enough to be accentuated with a tiny bit of bronzer but still soft enough that it highlighted the beautiful plumpness of her body. She had a smokey eyeshadow and perfect catwing eyeliner to bring out the pop of her gray-blue eyes and a matching plumb lipstick. She was wearing a black suit jacket with nothing underneath other than a red lace bra that clung to her skin in just the right way, flush but not squishing anything. Jesper could see the sneaking curve of a feather tattoo resting above her heart, hidden mostly but still visible enough to be tantalizing.

“You’re not the regular bartender,” she commented when he turned around fully.

Jesper pouted at that, tilting his head to the side, “Sorry to disappoint.”

“I don’t think that you could disappoint me if you tried, darling,” she replied easily as she folded her arms on the edge of the bar and leaned forward. 

Jesper had been working with enough sexually promiscuous and exploitative people for long enough that he could tell the difference between someone trying to hit on him and someone trying to get something out of him. She didn’t want free drinks like the last group of women he had tried to flirt with while bartending had, she was genuinely interesting him.

She sighed as she toyed with a single lock of her hair that had been left out of the updo, winding it around her finger until she released it so that it bounced next to her naturally freckled face. “I do have to actually tell you what we want now, though.”

“Oh, do you come here often?” Jesper asked. He had been washing down the bar, and it felt oh-so-terribly cliche to do so, but he moved his arms out wide with the towel grasped in one hand so that he was lower down and closer to her.

The woman tilted her head to the side as a beautiful little smile toyed at her lips. She was clearly enjoying the attention that she was getting, and he loved giving it to her. “I played a show here last week. Something small and intimate to help drive up nighttime numbers,” she supplied. “A friend of mine recently went through a bad breakup and she liked this place so we decided to come back this evening.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. About your friend, that is,” Jesper pointed with his head back towards the table where the rest of her group was waiting. He knew that she had come in with them because he had gotten a decently long look at them, but he was glad he got to see her much closer than he had before. “I could never be sorry about you coming here again because it meant that I got the pleasure of meeting you.”

A rosy glint took over her cheeks and the catlike smile painted on her plumb-colored lips widened. “I can’t say that I’m particularly sad about what happened to the other bartender either, you’re much nicer than he was.”

“I do try my best for pretty ladies such as yourself. Can’t say that I take great care of the dodgy old men that come to leer at the sports,” he smirked back in reply. He was, of course, at least courteous to all of the patrons that came in so that that bar could keep up its business, but it was more fun to pretend that he wasn’t to her.

“Well, I do feel special,” she tilted her head down towards one shoulder as she did a half-shrug. The gesture was cute and it made Jesper feel warm inside to know that it was directed specifically towards him.

“Good, someone was pretty as you certainly does deserve to feel special,” he smiled. He remembered that he was there as a worker and not another patron, so he did have to work. “Now, what can I get you?”

“Well, the table wants a load of shots while they decide what they want to be drinking all evening. And then I’ll just take some soda water for myself,” she replied, a little bit of a pout taking over her beautiful features.

“Soda water?” Jesper wrinkled his nose. He tried not to judge other people for what they wanted, but it was such a bland drink for a woman that outwardly seemed so rich and complicated. He knew that type of dichotomy did exist in some people but it was also the first time that someone had ordered carbonated water from him while he was tending.

The woman sighed, toying with the strand of hair again as she shifted her weight to her other foot. “Unfortunately, I’m the designated driver so I will not be drinking tonight. Someone has to stay sober enough to make sure that Nikolai and Zoya don’t fall into bed with each other. Again,” she cringed, wrinkling her nose cutely.

Jesper had the impulse to kiss her on the nose for just a moment before he pushed the thought from his mind. He had developed crushes on people very quickly before, but that had mostly faded now that he had four partners of his own waiting for him at home. They kept him busy and fulfilled enough things in his life that he never felt like he had to continue looking for anything else.

He cleared his throat and stood back up. He grabbed one of the shot trays from behind him, a wooden plate with indents for the glasses. He placed ten of the shot glasses down in it while he asked, “How about you tell me your favorite cocktail and I’ll make a virgin?”

“Are you really going to be able to do that?” she asked, eyeing him nervously.

Jesper tried not to be offended. A lot of the other bartenders that he had met were so focused in with the alcohol that they didn’t know what kind of flavors could supplement them when it was removed. He also had no precedent with her, so while he hated people doubting his ability to do his work he couldn’t really fault her for it. So he smiled confidently at her and said, “Yes, I can.” 

And, because he had so much trouble being able to contain himself, he said, “One of my boyfriends recently got into vintage cocktails. He doesn’t do very well when it comes to kitchen work and doesn’t want to be getting wasted every night so I’ve been making him virgin cocktails for the better part of two weeks.” It was a bit of a curveball when it came to flirting. Matthias liked to hide the fact that he was polyamorous until he was sure that the relationship was going to lead to something romantic or sexual because his Christian upbringing made him feel so awkward about it. Kaz never flirted with anyone, which was probably for the best. Inej and Wylan usually brought it up towards the end of the first date that they were having with a prospective partner, which didn’t happen very often. Jesper liked to throw it in at the beginning of his flirting so that he could talk about the partners that he adored without it convincing the person that he was pursuing that he was off the market.

She raised her brow at him, “Just had to slip that in there, didn’t you?” Her accent got thicker when she teased him, which he thought was absolutely adorable.

“I thought that it was worth mentioning,” he winked. He was letting the flirting go on a little bit longer than he probably should have as some of the other patrons were nearing the end of their drinks, which usually meant that he’d have an uptick in things that he was supposed to do. Still, he was validating it to himself with the fact that he had brought the shot set and the glasses over with him.

Something that he couldn’t quite read crossed her face as she stood up to her full height. Jesper wondered what kind of heals she was wearing and how tall she would be compared to Inej and Matthias, the extreme end of the spectrum in height out of his polycule. He hadn’t been able to see the bottom half of her outfit when she was walking over to him since he had been trying to distract himself from the heavy heart in his chest.

She glanced back towards the booth where her friends were getting restless before she drilled those piercing eyes back on him. He felt like she was trying to peel him apart so that she could see exactly what made him tick, examining the mechanisms of his heart with the eye of a clockmaker. “You’re not trying to flirt with me so that you can get to one of my friends, right?”

“Darling, if I wanted to flirt with one of those boys over there then I would flirt with them directly,” Jesper said honestly. It amazed him that someone was divinely beautiful as her thought that she would be passed up for the others that she had come into the bar with. While they were generally handsome, none of them held the mystique and grace that she did. 

“Really? You’re not trying to make me feel so special and doted on that I get flustered and send someone else to the bar so you can pounce on them?” she asked, eyeing him suspiciously. “Because Nikolai isn’t the type that you should date and David is engaged.”

“Do you think that I’m gay?” Jesper asked, realizing the mistake that he had made. In trying to tell her a little bit more about his romantic life to show that he was interested, he had made the mistake of leaving out the fact that he could be and was interested in her that way. It was a flub that he had made before, and it would not be the last time, he was sure.

She raised her perfectly penciled brow at him as she placed both of her palms flat down on the table. “What else was that line about your boyfriends supposed to do for me?”

“I may have misspoke,” he replied awkwardly. “I was simply trying to come on to you a bit harder, beautiful. You’re a very pretty woman, it’s easy to get tongue tied,” he winked at her.

Her shoulders dropped as she became more relaxed. He wondered how often someone had overlooked her despite her obvious beauty and wit, to try and get to someone that she cared about. She tilted her head to the side again and said, “I’m Nina.”

“Jesper,” he replied as he mirrored her look. “Now what can I get you, before my boss decides that I’ve done a horrible job and you have to spend the next night getting to know a new bartender.”

She laughed at that, her beautiful eyes sparkling. “I’ll take a virgin pina colada if you think that you can make that.”

“What kind of shots would your friends like?” he asked as he got out the class that her served those drinks in.

“Vodka,” she supplied. She moved to one of the stools and got up on it so that she was able to continue to talk with Jesper without being in the way of the other patrons that might need to come and speak with him. 

He got out the vodka that they kept for when people didn’t give them a specific brand and then filled up all ten shots easily. He moved the plate up towards her on the bar as he got to work on mixing her drink. “Is this something that you do often?” Nina asked, placing her elbow up on the bar so that she could rest her head on her hand.

Jesper shrugged, glancing at her while trying to focus mostly on his work. “I have a bartending license, if that’s what you’re asking,” he replied. “I don’t usually hop from bar to bar to startle people that are used to seeing a certain face back here. Though mine is usually an upgrade.”

“It certainly is for me,” she winked playfully at him.

He felt heat pool in his veins, dripping down from his heart. The longer that he spent time around her, the harder it was to deny. Nina was magnetic. 

“Well I’m glad that I can be a bit of change in decor for you. You said that you had played here the other week?” he asked, trying to get to know her better. The flirting in between the conversation was usually his favorite part, but flirting just to flirt got a little boring after some time.

She toyed with the edge of the plate with one hand as she said, “I’m in a band with all of the people I came in with, sort of. Alina, Zoya, and Nikolai are my bandmates but Genya styles us to make sure that we don’t look like a complete disaster.” 

He wasn’t able to put the names to faces, but it was nice to be supplied with a bit of information anyway. “I could never imagine you being anything other than immaculate.”

“You’re quite the sweet talker,” she commented. “Not that I’m complaining now that I know you’re not trying to get me involved in yet another relationship drama I can’t even have the fun of being part of.”

“Two of your bandmates sleeping together whenever they’re left drunk or unsupervised does sound stressful,” he nodded. Before he had gotten into his current polycule, it had been a hassle to try and navigate the friends-with-benefits relationships that he tended to become a part of back when he was doing theater full time. 

“It’s not quite that,” she rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed at even the memories that were popping up in the back of her mind. “I do love my bandmates and I’m so happy that we’re back together but Nikolai and Zoya having the weird on-again-off-again thing that they do is the least of my worries.”

“Do tell,” he supplied as he finished up with her drink.

She took the glass with her nimble fingers and then smiled. “You better hope that this is good enough for me to want another so that you can find out more of my drama,” she winked. She slipped off of the barstool and disappeared to the back of the bar with what she had ordered.

Despite barely knowing anything about Nina, he desperately hoped that she would like what he had made her. Both so that she had something to cheer her up since she seemed to be so upset with the way that her life was going and so that she would come back to talk with him more.

---

Jesper tried to get lost in his work. He made sure that he was focusing on all of the patrons equally instead of keeping his eyes glued on Nina, who was sitting with her friends and sipping on her drink. She had sent the blond man over to the bar so that he could order martinis for the drinking members of the group, but Jesper had made sure to just be professional with him as he was taking the order and preparing it. He wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be a test of some sort so that she could confirm that he was focused on her, but he hoped that he had passed it.

Given that it was a weekday, even the large rush of people towards the evening who wanted to pregame before they went clubbing was relatively small. Jesper had to card two teenagers that thought enough makeup and a suit would make them look adult enough to avoid that. He had just finished sending them away, rubbing out the headache that was beginning to form on his temples, when he heard Nina’s voice again.

“You were right, you are rather good at this,” she purred as she set her now empty glass onto the counter. “Would you make me another?”

“Only if you spill your secrets for me, beautiful,” he said teasingly.

She was already positioning herself onto the stool that she had been on before, directly in front of his workspace. “My band is called Shadow and Bone. We’ve been together for four years, but we had to take a huge break in the middle because one of my bandmates got into a relationship that wouldn’t let her play with us. It’s not my place to talk about that, but it meant that we couldn’t even practice, let alone make our own stuff. Each of us went and made our own side bands so that we could continue creating, other than Alina, but it’s left things a little twisted now.”

“Something you’re still untangling?” he asked.

She nodded. “I got very popular with my music, but it isn’t something that can work with the type of music that we play as a group. Just the other day I had someone try to accuse me of changing the sound of our music even though Alina and I switch off singing and all four of us write everything together,” she rolled her eyes. 

A mischievous look overtook her face as she said, “If you’re interested in looking me up then my solo work was under the name Heartrender. I wasn’t nearly as good as Nikolai, but he passed on the name of his work to a mutual friend of ours. Have you heard of an artist called Sturmhond?”

She was assuming that he worked in bars more often than he did by asking that, but by some stroke of luck he was actually familiar with the name that she had just given him. “I am. My friend Poppy did a set with him during a drag show she did,” he supplied. He hadn’t been able to attend said show because Wylan and Kaz had both ended up getting a cold and he was the only one that was able to take care of them, but she had told him all about it the next time he was able to show up for rehearsals.

“You know Poppy?” Nina asked, her face illuminating with an excited look. “Small world!”

He chuckled alongside her, basking in the brightness of her warmth. He wished that she could sit by him the entire time that he was working, but he knew that she had come to help comfort her friend through a breakup. Jesper had been around enough broken hearted people and been consumed by it enough himself to know the importance of having support during those times. “Your drink, my dear,” he handed over the finished cocktail that she had ordered.

“Thank you, handsome,” she winked.

---

For the rest of the night, Jesper worked alone. He poured what felt like a thousand glasses of beer and a million shots, until his arms and wrists were sore from the repetitive motion. Nina hadn’t strayed over to the bar again as she continued to nurse the singular refill that she had gotten on her virgin cocktail. He was right about the rush happening closer to midnight, but everyone had already trickled out by the time that they hit eleven.

When they were at the height of the crowd, the owner had slipped behind the bar to help him out. They had worked in tandem with each other, silent but efficient. Jesper was terribly exhausted by the time he finally slipped into the back with a plate of fries and a water to rest up before the last stretch of his shift. He brought his phone out and connected the wireless earbuds that he kept with him in his pocket for when he got overstimulated. He opened Spotify, searching up the band that Nina had given him.

He chose the one that she was in with other people first, clicking on the first song that popped up, obviously their most popular. He could tell that it was her voice crooning to him immediately as the first couple of lines played, “Late at night, when the stars don't look quite right. In the darkness, slowly crawling over my skin. Whispers at the door ‘Let us in, let us in.’ I'm a fool! I've been howling at a hollow moon! There's something burning in the empty room inside of my head. Fill it up with doubt, let it in, let it spread. I won't be sleeping, there's too many monsters in the backyard and I feel them creeping closer, closer, closer. I'm afraid. Is this a bunker or a shallow grave? Either way I'm left holding onto the shovel and rope, digging in the dirt, finding bones, finding ghosts. I won't be sleeping, there's too many monsters in the backyard and I feel them creeping closer, closer, closer. But if I made my bed did I make the demons in it? Set 'em free from my head, did I make the demons in it?”

She sang the chorus over and over again, the notes seeping together and burrowing their way into Jesper’s soul. He had always been a fan of music, which was how he and Wylan had met in the first place. They had been attending the same small music course and immediately hit it off, even if the other had a harder time reading music and instead just memorized a song. He wondered what it would be like if Wylan and Nina performed together, if Jesper would be able to handle it or if it would kill him on the spot.

He favorited her band so that he could come back and check it out later as he searched up the name that she had told him she used for her solo work. It was easier to listen to the more manufactured, pop-leaning stuff while also finishing up the other business than the more raw sounding classical that her band made. He let the songs play in the background as he flicked through the messages that his partners had sent him. He replied to a few and then took a screenshot of the song that he had listened to from Nina and sent it to Wylan so that he could get his boyfriend’s opinion on it.

Almost immediately afterwards he got a text from Matthias, which meant they were like watching one of their medical drama shows while waiting for him to come home. Inej and likely coaxed Kaz into the bath with her, the only person that understood the touch issues he had well enough to have that kind of special intimacy with him.

Jesper felt the fry that he had been eating become lodged in the back of his throat as Matthias informed him that the girl he had been flirting with over Instagram for the better part of the last two weeks also happened to be the woman that he had met at the bar. It really was a small world afterall.

He rushed through the last part of his break so that he could hopefully get back out in the bar before Nina left. He hadn’t want to be so creepy as to obviously check to make sure that she had stuck out the busy part of the night, especially since she would have been there for hours if she had. He made sure to calculate his walk so that he had slipped back into the persona that he used when he was working, suave and smooth, much like acting. He didn’t want it to seem like he was too frantic or desperate to get back to work lest he freak her out.

He had stepped back behind the bar and served two other patrons, switching out with the owner, when Nina finally came back up. The relief that he felt upon knowing that she hadn’t left despite having been huddled in the back corner for hours at that point made him feel a little embarrassed. He ignored it as he looked up to her, waiting for what she had to say.

“I was wondering when you were going to be back,” she smiled as she took the same stance that she had when they had first begun their interaction.

“Sorry for leaving you, baby, but I had to take a quick break,” he explained as he set down the glass that he had just finished cleaning.

“I understand, being that handsome has to take quite the toll on someone,” she winked back in reply, which made his heart flutter. He hadn’t known how Matthias had fallen so hard and so fast for Nina, especially since it had taken him almost a week to get to the point where they could even hold a conversation with each other. Now that she was standing in front of him in all of her smooth, gorgeous, suave glory, he understood. 

“If you keep this up then I’m going to fall in love with you,” he grinned. He was telling the truth, of course. If she continued to treat him like he was something special then he was going to fall head over heels for her the same way that Matthias had. He’d be tender smiles down at his phone and one earbud in to loop the sound of her crooning musical voice into his mind while doing mundane tasks.

Nina had the common decency to look a little bashful at that as she shifted awkwardly. “I have to admit that the idea of that doesn’t sound too bad. I came over here to pay my tab but I was also hoping that I could possibly get a way to stay in contact with you?”

Excitement burst through him like fireworks as he leaned forward like he was going to share a secret that no one else was allowed to hear. “If you ask Matthias then he’ll give you everything,” he winked.

She looked a little confused and scared, as if he had found out that she was somehow trying to give him the runaround. He tilted his head back towards the door he that led to the back room, “When I took my break I searched you up and sent one of your songs to my partner who likes music. Turns out that he was with Matthias and we found out that we had been flirting with the same woman. So it sounds like you’re going to fit into our relationship quite well if you’re serious about pursuing us.”

Immediately the panic left her and she laughed. It was louder than the quiet giggles that she had given her before, all rosy tinkling and shaking shoulders. She then shook her head, causing a few of the curls that had come loose from her tight bun to bounce around her beautiful face. “I should have known when you mentioned the cocktails, it’s all Matthias has been talking about lately.”

“He gets like that sometimes,” Jesper agreed. It was endearing how one thing could take over Matthias’ entire personality until he had discovered how it worked or how he could navigate it properly and then moved onto the next thing.

Nina shifted and handed him her card. He processed it for the tab that the table had wracked up and then handed it back to her. She said, “I don’t want to take up all of your time tonight, but I would like to see you again. I’ll ask Matthias for your handle and then we’ll talk more, alright?”

“I think that the both of us would like that very much,” Jesper nodded. Even if he didn’t actually develop a romantic or sexual relationship with Nina, the idea of getting to have someone as wonderful and mysterious as her in his life was very enticing. He leaned across the bar so that he was closer to her, giving her the hint of what he wanted. Jesper asked, “May I kiss you?”

A pretty smile split across her face and she said, “Polite as well as handsome, color me surprised. You may.” She placed one of her hands on his cheek, letting him feel the calloused nature of her hand. She then leaned in and pressed their lips together in a quick, chaste kiss. She smelled like green apples and lavender, mixing together distinctly to make her smell overall sweet. He could taste the vanilla of her lipstick and the pineapple clinging to her tongue from the drinks that he made her throughout their evening of flirting.

[malinaa]

i'm LATE but here r some that are in my bookmarks <3

traveling songs by crookedverite (16k, not rated)

Summary: Inej returns to Ketterdam after an eighteen month voyage and brings new demons with her.

adrift in past and future tense by younglegends (5k, teen)

Summary: One grey morning a shadow is docked at the Ketterdam harbour. How a story ends, and begins, and is made in between.

ebb and flood by arbitrarily (4k, teen)

Summary: He is wearing the gloves again. It’s the first thing she notices – the black leather like second skin. Inej returns to the Barrel.

My Dearest Inej by A_nonnie_mouse (31k, teen)

Summary: What follows is a collection of letters, found bundled together in twine, nestled among the belongings of the feared privateer, Inej Ghafa, captain of the Wraith.

are there any kanej fics you'd recommend? i miss my babies but i seriously cannot read the books again 🤭 and i trust you to pick authors who depict them properly, catch their essence!

oh, thank you so much for trusting my opinion hdjshhdbs i take this as the highest compliment tbh!!! sadly though i haven’t read kanej fanfics in ages and i can’t access my old ao3 account on which i bookmarked stuff anymore :( so, i’d have to lie and rec you stuff i am not sure about and that does not fly. maybe @malinaa can help or someone else???

[crazyyluvr]

Masterlist

hi! i’m mar, and i’m just here to write about random stuff because motivation strikes me at the weirdest times. my writing’s decent… i think… anyway, here’s my masterlist!

will write:

gn, male, or female reader (not that experienced in male tho, but i want to practice)

fluff

angst

somewhat suggestive content

platonic stuff

romantic stuff

will not write:

nsfw

incest themes

major character death (unless it’s canon)

dark content (yandere type thing)

request status: open!

Fandoms

Marauders Era

sirius black .

The World Wants to Melt my Face Off I Swear- (If the summer heat was not going to back down, you’re just going to take matter into your own hands. And Sirius is all up for it.) — drabble.

remus lupin .

Dealing with the Problem = Breaking the Problem's Nose (You punched another student because he was annoying. Not because you were defending Remus Lupin. Totally not.) — oneshot.

james potter .

A Revelation in Potions (Not Through Amortentia, That's too Generic) (one potions class with you got james questioning his sexuality.) — oneshot.

I think James Likes Beaters! (James can’t get over his new crush when he has a Quidditch game against Ravenclaw — with you as their new Beater.) — oneshot.

regulus black .

coming soon…

Percyverse

luke castellan .

coming soon…

percy jackson .

coming soon…

jason grace .

How to Anger a Demigod as a Horse 101 (one of jason's skills that he's proud of is to be able to calm you down when others try and fail to do so.) — short oneshot.

Overworked, Underappreciated (by the gods) (your urge to prove yourself can cause you to overwork yourself, so jason tries to stop you for doing so — and of course, comforting you during the possible breakdowns that could happen along the way.) — oneshot.

Stop Being Nice to Me, I'm Supposed to be Mad at You (in which Jason gets in an argument with you before a Capture the Flag game and you end up avoiding each other... until you get injured, and Jason couldn't let the previous argument stop him from checking up on you.) — short oneshot.

leo valdez .

LEO APPRECIATION >:( (Leo sometimes (always) wonders what he did to deserve you and whether he still deserved you.) — short oneshot.

Grishaverse

mal oretsev .

coming soon...

aleksander morozova / the darkling / general kirigan .

coming soon...

kaz brekker .

I am the QUEEN of Hearts, Don't Tell Me Otherwise (Having a blind Heartrender has its perks. For Kaz Brekker, having a blind Heartrender that can hear his heartbeat change around her has its disadvantages.) — oneshot.

jesper fahey .

coming soon...

inej ghafa .

coming soon...

nina zenik .

coming soon...

Unorganized

Fluff

e!1610 miles morales x reader (basketball player!miles who dedicates his points to you all the time.) — headcanons.

[swanimagines]

GRISHAVERSE AO3 SERIESES

EVERYTHING FOR GRISHAVERSE

GRISHA TRILOGY

Aleksander Morozova/The Darkling

Alina Starkov

Mal Oretsev

Genya Safin

Nikolai Lantsov

Zoya Nazyalensky (coming)

THE CROWS

Kaz Brekker

Inej Ghafa

Jesper Fahey

Wylan Van Eck/Wylan Hendriks

Nina Zenik

Matthias Helvar

---

(Any of the other characters don't have any requests written nor pending as for now, so I'm unable to have serieses for them as AO3 requires you to have at least one oneshot written to be able to add it to a series, and I can't promise serieses for characters who don't have requests pending/I have no ideas of my own for them)

For anyone who's concerned, THESE ARE NOT ONESHOT COLLECTIONS, they are made using AO3's "series" feature.

If you want to be informed about new fics for Grishaverse or its individual characters, create an AO3 account and subscribe or bookmark any of those serieses listed above. There are buttons at the top right corner for those, or on top on mobile. I do not do Tumblr taglists anymore.

Subscribe button highlighted:

[sprnklersplashes]

hello all!

I've been contemplating this for a bit and I've decided to follow int he footsteps of other artists and use my writing to help palestine!

for the forseeable future, I'll be taking comissions for fics in exchange for donations to either operation olive branch or care for gaza, alternatively you can buy an esim!

to comission a fic, use this form. I will start writing as soon as I receive the prompt, but I won't publish it until I've received proof of donation. hopefully, the fic will be written in two weeks maximum, but please remember I am only one person.

I'll do a more in depth rundown of things I write under the cut, but the fandoms I have listed are Six of Crows, Heathers the musical, Mean Girls the musical, Gilmore Girls, Osemanverse and one ship from CAOS. If you know I ship something but it's not listed here, feel free to send me a dm and ask if I'll write it!

also if you're a writer for any of these fandoms and would like to get involved, please do reach out to me! we're stronger together!

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free!

Fandoms I write for:

Grishaverse:

-romantic wesper

-romantic kanej

-romantic helnik

-poly!crows

-any friendship pairing between the crows/found family

-familial dynamics between wylan and marya, jesper and colm and kaz and jordie

-character centric: wylan, inej, jesper, kaz, matthias, nina

-romantic zoyalai

-all can be canon compliant, canon divergent, show or book canon or au (please specify if you do/don't want one of these)

Heathers:

-romantic healthy jdronica

-romantic toxic jdronica

-dunnmara (martha x heather mac)

-romantic or platonic martharonnie

-anything veronica sawyer centric

-I will also write oneshots from the not beyond repair universe or the time won't fly universe 

Mean Girls:

-romantic cadnis

-platonic damian/janis/cady, platonic damian+janis

-character centric: janis

Next to Normal:

-anything natalie-centric 

-romantic henry/natalie

-natalie+diana, natalie+dan, natalie+gabe

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

-romantic theo/robin

Gilmore Girls

-romantic luke/lorelai

-romantic jess/rory

-familial rory+lorelai

-complicated familial lorelai+emily, lorelai+richard

-anything rory centric

Osemanverse:

-romantic nick/charlie, lister/jimmy, bliss/juliet, pip/rooney

-platonic aled/frances, paris squad, shakespeare squad (loveless)

-romantic, platonic or inbetween michael/tori

-familial charlie+tori(+oliver)

character centric: charlie spring, tori spring

[bookworm-center]

Grishaverse Oneshot Request Rules!

Yep, I'm now going to do requests! Mainly cause I feel bad about not being super good with Dirtyhands and the Bloodbender updates... Anyways, I do have a few rules for requests.

No 18+ requests. Sorry, but I'm not comfortable writing that sort of stuff.

I refuse to do Darkling oneshots. Sorry Darkling stans.

No incest, pedophilia, huge age gaps, basically anything that's like morally wrong? (Besides murder and violence I guess, but this is the Grishaverse)

I'll try to do multi-character ships but I dunno. I will do both x readers and character x characters, as well as platonic ships!

The reader will generally be gender neutral unless specified. I'll definitely try and do both straight and queer ships.

I'll definitely do AUs; those are so much fun. I don't think there are any AUs I refuse to do, but I'd have to see for the requests. I don't know if song fics count as AUs but I'm also willing to do those.

Please give me at least three sentences of a basic idea or summary of the oneshots, though more than this is welcome! The only problem with giving me more information is that it might not live up to your expectations.

I may struggle with some aspects of representation that I don't quite understand or relate to, like if you want the reader to be non-binary or autistic or anything else. I'll try my best to do topics that I don't know a lot about and I will do research but you don't have to request this stuff if you don't want to. If you do request things like this and I don't get it right, please, PLEASE tell me. I will take all criticism into consideration.

As stated before, I'll listen to criticism but please try to be polite about it. I want to improve my writing, but if you are rude about it, I won't listen or even take your request.

Characters I'll do x readers with:

Kaz Brekker

Inej Ghafa

Jesper Fahey

Wylan Van Eck

Matthias Helvar

Nina Zenik

Alina Starkov

Genya Safin

Zoya Nazyalensky

Nikolai Lantsov

Tamar Yu Bataar

Character x character ships I'll do:

Kanej

Wesper

Helnik

Nina-Hanne (I forgot their ship name)

Malina

Genya-Alina

Zoyalai

Genya-David

I might do other characters/ships if you ask, I just might not be thinking about all the ships or something right now. But yeah, feel free to request things. I'm so sorry for the long post but this is all stuff I needed to say about this.

[tealquills]

got a do it (ily @upwardsonwards and @cameliawrites) so here goes :DD

one is a character study of all six crows, formatted similarly to however we got here, i’m glad we did, but it’s pre-canon rather than post-canon. tentatively titled look into my telescope (it’s a lyric from ghost quartet), it centers around the crows reflecting on their pasts using the night sky as a symbolic jumping-off point. i don’t have much written, but i generally know what i want to do with it. this one will definitely be a oneshot, so it’s the most likely to get published.

one is a kanej au in a modern setting (the locations have the same names as the grishaverse ones, though, and there’s some cultural carryover though most things will be different in a modern setting for obvious reasons). tentatively titled finding spring, the premise is that kaz will literally kill any living thing he touches whether he wants to or not. it’s sort of like a curse, though it wasn’t “put on him” the way most traditional curses are. (at least, not put on him by anyone but me.) inej, on the other hand, rejuvenates everything she touches and can even resurrect dead things, so their respective powers would cancel each other out, if they’d only realize it. i’ve had this idea floating around in my head for a really, really long time, but i’ll say upfront that it’s the least likely to get published since i’m imagining it as a longer slow burn and i cannot for the life of me figure out how it’ll work. i haven’t gotten much farther than the premise on this one, honestly, though i have written a few lines of it in an attempt to force myself to get the ball rolling.

one is an immediate post-crooked kingdom fic focusing on inej’s parents, a little along the lines of @oneofthewednesdays‘s Sankta Margaretha and Other Tales of Sorrow if you’ve read it (if you haven’t you should it’s amazing) but ofc it’s my own! feat. some sturmhond interaction because i feel like people overlook the fact that he was the one who tracked them down. also because i just really love nikolai lantsov, he’s my favorite character from the shadow and bone trilogy hands down. i’ve barely started this one and i don’t have any exact plans for it so we’ll see what happens there. if it ever sees the light of day, it’ll most likely be a few chapters, think 2-4.

the last one is the hardest to explain. it’s a multilayered canon divergence where “i can help you” never happened. without his wraith, kaz is caught by the stadwatch just before the story begins, and exiled from the city of ketterdam. in the kerch countryside, he concocts a new scheme to get his revenge on pekka rollins. inej, though, is not still in the menagerie. she’s indentured to pekka as a spy and assassin after... oops wouldn’t want to spoil that :), and when kaz enacts the first phase of his plan, she’s sent to track the troublemaker down and bring him to the dime lions to face “justice” (read: torture and death). nina will probably feature as a supporting/minor character, and wylan mightttttt be a player as well but i’m not sure yet. this is my most plot heavy fic and i do have some shorter term plans for it, but i don’t know how it’s going to end yet. i have high hopes for this one but realistically i really don’t know if it’s going to happen or not. as you might have picked up on, i don’t like to publish wips while i’m still writing them because i know myself. i know i usually have bigger ideas than my plot brain can handle, especially without a writing partner or a person to bounce ideas off of, and i’d hate to abandon a fic, both for the sake of my own conscience and my readers’ enjoyment.

would you guys (i say, as if i don’t have like 5 followers on here) like it if i posted about the fics i’m sitting on, even if i’m not sure i’ll ever finish them?

[writtenfangirl]

What’s in a Name?

Trigger Warnings: Graphic scenes containing blood, mentions of sexual assault (not graphic). The main character is a little bit unhinged and there are scenes that describe torture

Word Count: 4.5k

Another Kaz Brekker fic. Why? Cause I want to.

I need to find someone who’ll stare at me the way Kaz stares at Inej and I promise, I’ll stare at them the way Inej stares at Kaz.

She was known by a different name once upon a time. She knew as much.

Her one tether to her past was the memory of her name. A whispered sound she repeated over and over again like reverent prayer. No on else knew that name except for her and she preferred to keep it that way. If anyone discovered who she used to be, she would go from being the most feared assassin in Ketterdam to being a victim.

So she kept her head down and did the job, no matter how deplorable it was. There was a time when she didn’t have the luxury of choosing her next kill, a time when she had nothing but the clothes on her back and her wits about her. She would kill people with whatever she could come up with from stabbings to poisons to making their deaths look like suicides. There were even other times when she would frame other people for her crimes. She had done it so convincingly that the authorities would simply slap on a pair of handcuffs and march the poor man away without so much as trying to verify if the evidences were faked.

She was good at her job. Better than good even. And because of that, leaders of the various crime organizations in Ketterdam would seek her out. Gone were the days of her spying on their meetings and ambushing them begging for a job. This time, they came to her.

So, it wasn’t really a surprise to her to see Pekka Rollins in her apartment. What surprised her was who he places the hit on.

“You want me to kill, Kaz Brekker?” Y/N said with a raised eyebrow.

Pekka shrugged. He was seated in front of her with two of his men behind him as guards. “He’s becoming a problem. The Dregs are becoming too powerful.”

“But why Brekker? If you’re worried about competition, the Razorgulls are there and so are the Black Tips. And Per Haskell’s the leader of the Dregs.”

“You and I both know that’s not true. Per Haskell hasn’t been the leader of anything in a while.”

“I’m not doing it,” Y/N scoffed. She’s been asked to take hits on leaders of the various criminal organizations in Ketterdam before, usually by the corrupt government officials in Kerch who turn a blind eye on her trade, and Pekka Rollins has asked her to kill a lot of people before. But she has never had Pekka Rollins ask her to kill a fellow gang leader. Never like this.

“Since when did the Reaper say no to a job?” Pekka Rollins ground out, clearly irritated.

“Since you asked her to kill Dirtyhands. I don’t know if you’re aware, Pekka Rollins, but Kaz Brekker is dangerous.”

“He’s a thief. A Bastard of the Barrel. I’m its king. Do the job and I’ll reward you handsomely.”

“No amount of money—“

“500,000 kruge.”

Y/N swore. 500,000 was a lot of money. 500,000 kruge could even get her out of Ketterdam.

Pekka Rollins saw the greed in her eyes and knew he’s set his trap. “So you’ll do it?”

“I want half the money up front right now. The other half, I can get after the job.”

Pekka frowned almost like he would say no.

“Don’t act like I never operated this way, Rollins. I always asked for half up front. I don’t start until I get half the money.”

Pekka snapped his fingers and one of his men came forward with a bag of the money. He dropped the money in front of her.

“I want it done by the end of next week, Reaper,” Pekka Rollins said in a threatening tone.

At that, Y/N smirked. “Have I ever let you down? I’m the Reaper. When I have a hit, I never miss..”

Y/N slinked along the rooftops of the Slat. She had watched the Crow Club and the Slat for a whole week and well versed in the habits of the Dregs, most specifically, of Kaz’s inner crew, the Crows. Inej had the strange habit of staying on roofs as Y/N had come to learn. Fortunately, after a week of studying them, she’s found Inej’s pattern.

Around this time, Inej was in the Crow Club trying to temper Jesper Fahey, Kaz Brekker’s sharpshooter, from loosing too much money at the table.

She slipped inside Brekker’s office quietly, where she knew he would be alone.

She was silent on her feet and if she wanted, she could have slit his throat right then and there. He was standing in front of a wash basin cleaning his face. His usually pristine clothes had their sleeves rolled up to his elbow and his hair was unkempt. His walking stick was well within his reach, perched on the table that held the wash basin.

She watched him silently and she stepped forward, away from the shadows.

“If you’re going to kill me, I’m surprised you haven’t already done it,” Kaz said as a way of greeting when he noticed her behind him in the mirror.

“Then you know I’m not here to kill you,” Y/N said as she walked forward. “I’m here to strike a deal.”

“A deal,” Kaz repeated, looking at her through the mirror. “Why would the Reaper want to strike a deal with me. I’m a thief. Not a killer. I don’t want anyone dead.”

At that, Y/N almost giggled. “You and I both know that’s a lie. There’s one man you want dead in this world and lucky for you I want him dead too.”

Y/N prowled towards the table and chair and took a seat with a sweeping gesture. There was an elegance in her movement, almost like she imbued a dance with every motion of her body.

Kaz turned around and faced her, settling his hands against the table with the wash basin. He regarded her carefully watching her movements as she unsheathed one of the daggers in her leg and slowly cleaned it. The blade, strangely enough, was so clean, you could see your reflection off of it.

“I thought Pekka Rollins was your biggest financier. You’ve killed more people for him than everyone else in the Barrel combined.” Kaz said. His words were slow, clearly preconceived. It was obvious he didn’t want to offend her.

“And I want him dead more than you do, Brekker. You aren’t the only person who’s been slighted by him.”

“I heard he put a hit on me. How much?”

“500,000 kruge,” Y/N replied nonchalantly.

“I would have taken the money,” Kaz said. He stepped forward, unfurling his sleeves. He wore his pristine jacket that hung on one of the other chairs scattered around the room.

Y/N shrugged. “I’m not interested in money. I have clients from the Merchants Council who’d pay me millions for one hit, and they have. 500,000 kruge is a penny to me. What I want is Pekka Rollins’ head on a table and something tells me you already have a plan to take him down.”

Kaz considered her offer. He watched her carefully, his dark eyes trailing over her figure. At her dark clothing, the twin swords in her back and the knives that were hidden all over her body. “What’s in it for me?”

Y/N shrugged again. She had expected the question and was fully prepared to pay him to allow her to kill Pekka Rollins. “Name your price.”

“You.”

“Excuse me?” Y/N choked, her once casual tone slipping into surprise. She had expected money. She hadn’t expected, well, her.

“A contract. You work for me at the end of this.”

“As what? Hired muscle?”

“Hired whatever. One year. For a whole year, you work for me. I make you do whatever I want, no questions asked. In return, you’re in on my plan to take down Rollins.”

Y/N considered the offer. One year was an awfully long time. Her mother had told her the horrors of being indentured and though she doubted that Kaz Brekker would make her use her body in such a way, working for a man like him for a whole year was dangerous.

But she was getting desperate. She had spent her whole life planning her revenge and she wasn’t going to let herself get cold feet at the last minute.

“I get paid, Brekker,” she finally said after a moment of silence. “I don’t work for free. If another person hires me for a hit, I get to work for them too. I can’t only have you as my source of income, especially since I doubt you can afford me otherwise. The plan needs to be set in my motion by the end of the week.”

“And if I can’t deliver by the end of the week?” Kaz asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I guess I’ll have to kill you. I do have a reputation after all,” Y/N replied. Somehow, she knew that Kaz understood that she meant every word. She would kill Kaz if she had to and she would find someone else to take down Rollins.

Kaz stayed quiet. He watched her, his eyes raking over her every action. She had sheathed back her blade and had her full attention on the professional thief.

She would be lying to herself if she didn’t think that Kaz wasn’t handsome. With his intense dark eyes, high cheekbones, sharp features and suave sense of style, it would be a lie to state otherwise.

But he had a darkness about him, and that darkness was what drew her in. A darkness she could understand. He was around the same age as she was but his eyes had a soul that screamed of the many lives he had lived, of the many lives he had lost. He had suffered as she had, perhaps even more.

Finally, after a while, Kaz finally said, “It’s a deal.”

“Good,” Y/N said as she stood up from Kaz’s chair. She walked towards him slowly and reached for the gloves he had left on the table. She handed it to him, her palms facing upward to let him know that she meant no harm. “I want to let you know, Brekker, that I don’t care about his wealth. I don’t care if you take his power, his fortune, his gang. I don’t even care if you kill whatever sorry excuse of a family he has. But his life? That’s mine to take. If you or any of the Dregs get in the way of that, I won’t hesitate to kill.”

He took the gloves from her gingerly, careful not to touch even a fraction of her skin, confirming what Y/N had observed this past week. Kaz Brekker didn’t like being touched.

“You have yourself a deal, Reaper.”

And with that said, Y/N slinked towards Kaz’s window and left, leaving Kaz Brekker alone with his thoughts.

Y/N was impressed. The plan that Kaz Brekker had laid out for her was ingenious, really. She hadn’t realized how far along Kaz was in his plan for revenge and when she had heard the final piece of his grand design she marveled at its effectivity and its simplicity.

Kaz Brekker was a criminal mastermind. There was no other way around it.

He already had a hold of the Dime Lions as well as all of Pekka Rollins’s businesses in Barrel, including the Emerald Palace, albeit discreetly. The original plan was to see Pekka Rollins beg Kaz for forgiveness and ask him for even a fraction of the wealth he used to own so that he could go quietly into the night and never return.

But Kaz Brekker will have to settle with watching Pekka Rollins grovel for his life.

Y/N crept along the halls of Pekka Rollins’ home. It was well guarded, practically fortified, and it was filled with the people who were insane enough to stay loyal to only one man in the Barrel. Anyone worth their salt knew that loyalty could get you killed in a place like Ketterdam. Kaz had informed her that these were the men who stared stone faced at the money that Kaz had offered them and declined.

Because of that, she had no problem killing them.

She did it silently, quickly. A flick of her hand and the men fell unconscious. A knife to their throat finished the job.

She ended their lives without remorse. After years of doing her job, her guilt had been whittled down until it was but a sliver of its original form. At this point, she doubted she could even feel guilt.

By the time she was done, she had painted the walls of Pekka Rollins’ home red. Sprays of blood settled against the gaudy wallpaper, decorating it with splashes and spatters. Some morbid part of Y/N thought it looked better than Rollins’ original decor.

As she killed off the last man, this one guarding the door of Pekka Rollins’ office — the place where Kaz agreed they would have the confrontation — she could hear Kaz’s raspy voice from behind the opulent, wooden, double doors. “You’ve taken a lot from me. I thought I’d return the favor.”

“You think you can come in here like you own the place and take things from me?! You’re nothing but a bastard! I’m the King of the Barrel!” Pekka Rollins replied, his voice loud with indignation.

“You still don’t get it, do you, Jakob Hertzoon,” Kaz said with a dangerously low chuckle, his voice laced with satisfaction. He had told her his reason for revenge once, about Jordie, and she remembered the story, the sorrow and vengeance that had taken hold in Kaz’s very soul. He had told her in the hopes of finding her reason but she refused to say a word. “All will be revealed soon,” was her only cryptic replay

“There’s nothing left for you. Even this house is mine. You’ve lost.” Kaz reiterated.

“You think I’ll let someone like you take things from me? As long as I’m alive, you won’t have peace!” Pekka Rollins roared.

“Well then, it’s a good thing we’re taking your life too.”

And with that said, Y/N threw open the double doors and strode in with a confident stride. Her black stealth uniform was covered in blood and she could feel the blood on her face. She probably looked like a deranged lunatic, especially with the gleeful smile on her face.

Pekka Rollins’ well-lit office was huge, big enough to host a meeting of at least twenty people and still have room to spare. Kaz was standing in front of Pekka, quite a distance away, a table separating the two. The eyes of both gang leaders snapped towards her at the sound of the banging door.

“That was a wonderful introduction, thank you, Kazzie,” Y/N smirked as she walked towards her partner.

Kaz bristled at the nickname but nonetheless stayed quiet.

Pekka Rollins was looking at her with his mouth agape, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head, whether in shock or fury, Y/N couldn’t really say.

“You!” Pekka Rollins stuttered, pointing an accusatory finger her way. “I gave you 250,000 kruge to kill him!”

Y/N scoffed. “Do you know how much the merchant council has offered me to kill you? Five million kruge. You really think 250,000 has any effect on my coffers?”

“So that’s why you betrayed me? Money?!” Pekka Rollins demanded.

At that, Y/N stilled. Gone was the lofty arrogance, replaced by a seething anger that earned her the moniker the Reaper.

“You still don’t know who I am,” Y/N said her tone dangerously low.

“You’re the Reaper,” Pekka answered but he sounded unsure too.

“Let me give you name then,” Y/N stalked towards him until she stood right behind the table. She was so close, she could see every emotion that flitted through Pekka Rollins eyes. She leaned closer, as though she was about to share a secret, and whispered a name.

Her name.

The moment the last syllable left her lips, she leaned back to see the flash of recognition in Pekka Rollins’ eyes.

“That’s right, Pekka,” Y/N said, a vindicating, satisfied tone replacing her previous one as she walked backwards towards Kaz. “I’m your daughter.”

At the revelation, Kaz looked at her in surprise. His daughter?

“Do you remember my mother, Pekka?” Y/N sneered as Pekka Rollins’ face continued to blanched. “You bought her indenture and raped her almost every night and when she told you that she was pregnant, you called her a whore and threw her out on the streets with nothing but the clothes on her back. You told her to get rid of her baby and that she can’t come back if she didn’t. Do you remember?”

“I- She-“

“Don’t!” Y/N growled, her voice rising in anger as emotions swirled within her. “Don’t you dare try and justify what you did. Lucky for me, my mother decided to keep me. And lucky for me again, I wasn’t the only thing she kept. She kept a secret hidden from the world, did you know? She was Grisha. A Corporalnik and even luckier for me, I inherited her abilities.”

With that said, Y/N raised her hands and with a clench of her fist, Pekka Rollins’s lungs seized. His ruddy hands rushed to his throat, clutching it tightly in vain as he tried to willed his body to breathe. His face began to redden and bulging, purple vein swelled against his temple.

Y/N held her grip, watching him suffer. “You came to me over and over again these past few years. Every time you came through my door, I thought you would recognize me. See the resemblance I had with my mother, with you. But no. You stared at my face and didn’t see anything. You saw through me. It’s my fault, really. I was stupid enough to believe that underneath it all, you were secretly a good person but no. You’re the worst of them all.” Just as he was about to pass out, Y/N let go and air surged within his lungs again.

“I’m not going to kill you that way, Pekka,” Y/N cooed. “That’s too easy. My mother died of the plague while we were out on the streets. She died and you lived. You, a pathetic, no good, greedy, sorry excuse of a man. My mother was a saint and she died. I suffered because of you and I know I’m not the only person who suffered because of you. So, for the sake of my friend Kaz—“ she gestured towards Kaz, who was watching their whole exchange silently “— and for me, I’m going to return the favor.”

Y/N stalked towards him again, watching Pekka Rollins continue to gasp for air. “Losing the oxygen from your lungs will be the least painful thing you will experience tonight, I can promise you that and when I am done with you, you won’t be begging me for your life. You’ll be begging me for your death.”

“P-please,” Pekka gasped, clutching the soles of her blood-soaked shoes as he dropped to his knees. “I-I have a son. You have a brother. I’ll be a better f-father for him. Please!”

At that Y/N smirked. “My little brother? Don’t worry. Matthias Helvar, Kaz’s Drüskelle friend, is with him right now. He was more than happy to pay him a visit.”

She didn’t think it was possible for Pekka to pale anymore than he already was but she stood corrected. Horror caused his eyebrows to knit together and his mouth to open wide. Tears sprung from his eyes like an unexpected downpour.

“You didn’t,” He gasped.

She really didn’t. Saints know she would never hurt the child but he didn’t know that.

“I did,” she smirked, her tone gleeful. “Matthias is probably done by now. I even asked him to send my brother’s head in a box.”

Pekka’s eyes widened as he fell backwards and crawled away from her in horror.

“Matthias and I even discussed how he’ll play with my brother. Do you want to feel what he felt?” And before Pekka even answered, Y/N twisted her hand.

Pekka’s hand seized his chest as he felt his heart squeeze inside it.

“He carved my little brother’s heart out of his body. I’d use a knife on you but I figured ripping your heart out of your chest was a lot more painful.” Y/N smirked.

“Reaper,” Kaz said interrupting her, making her release her hold on Pekka’s heart.

Y/N sighed in irritation and looked at the Bastard of the Barrel. “What?”

“I’d love to stay and watch the show but I’ve got business to attend to. Crowning myself King of the Barrel and all that. I’ll see you on Monday.”

Y/N gave him a wave and even a genuine smile. “I’ll see you Monday, Kazzie. I promise not to be late.”

When Kaz Brekker left the room, the sounds of Pekka Rollins’ screams echoed around the house.

The day after, Pekka Rollins’ body was found in some alley in the Barrel. Or, at least, whatever was left of it.

No one could identify who owned the torso, especially when his hands, arms, legs, feet and even its head seemed to have been scattered in the winds. The authorities investigated but without any markings on the brutalized body, they couldn’t pin it on anyone. The torso was a mess of scar tissue as though its skin was filleted and then healed over and over again. Whoever the man was did not have a happy ending.

A week after, word got out that Pekka Rollins had signed away his fortune to Kaz Brekker, naming him his heir as he retired in some faraway estate to spend time with his son. No one questioned the move and everyone assumed that those loyal to Pekka Rollins had followed him to whatever backwater the man decided to retire too.

No one dared to question why the Reaper was seen hanging around Kaz Brekker or why she began taking orders for him. As far as the citizens of Ketterdam were concerned, they had no reason to wonder and if anyone had made the connection between Kaz, the Reaper, Pekka Rollins and the dismembered torso, they were smart enough not to come forward.

And so, perched on the slat’s roof, Y/N watched the bustling city. Her hair whipped against the cold, howling, eastern wind, her face illuminated by the city’s nightlife.

She use to be told that revenge was a stupid thing to pray for as it often left the other party unsatisfied, a hole in their heart where the anger once reigned.

Y/N has found that to be a lie because for once in her life, she felt a sense of contentment.

“I don’t know about you, Brekker,” Y/N said as a way of greeting when she felt Kaz’s heavy presence behind her, watching her from the shadows. “But I feel at peace. It’s funny. People use to tell me that there would be no peace in revenge. That peace can only be found in forgiveness and in praying to the Saints. They were lying. Somehow, I feel safer knowing that there’s one less awful person in the streets of Ketterdam. That Pekka Rollins won’t ever hurt anyone the way he hurt you and me.”

“I thought my tale of woe was awful,” Kaz said sardonically. “But I’d take a dead brother over a dead mother and having Pekka as my father any day.”

Y/N turned and gave him a wry smile. “Ironic, isn’t it?”

Half of Kaz’s face was illuminated by the city’s lights while shadows danced on the other. He was dressed in his usually suave, business savvy style, his hair styled and his cane held carefully between his fingers, the crow head reflecting her face distortedly.

He looked handsome, clean. He watched her carefully as she lifted her hand and pushed her whipping hair behind her ear.

Gone was the sultry confident girl that strolled into Pekka Rollins’s home and killed him. Instead standing before Kaz was a simple girl who once dreamed of a better life for herself and for her mother. A girl who thought that one day, she may, perhaps, even meet her father and show him what he was missing, the daughter he could have had.

But those dreams were broken and the illusion of a life well lived faded with her mother’s life.

“Thank you,” Y/N said into the ringing silence that had formed between them. “For your help.”

“I didn’t do it for you,” Kaz answered, his face devoid of emotion.

Y/N shrugged. “I know. You are Dirtyhands after all, the ruthless Kaz Brekker. I’m not stupid, I know I got the shorter end of the stick when it came to our deal but still. Thank you. You gave me one thing I couldn’t get for myself. Peace. That’s worth more than any amount of money in the world.”

The distance between them had closed and Y/N hadn’t even realize who walked towards who. His body emanated warmth that she welcomed against the chilly night air. His dark eyes scanned over her face, looking for any hint of insincerity but he found none. Every word that Y/N had said was true.

“Reaper-“

“Call me Y/N, please,” She whispered, interrupting him. “I don’t think I want to be the Reaper anymore.”

“Oh?”

“I took up the name Reaper because I didn’t want Pekka Rollins to find out who I was. The young, innocent girl that I was died with my mother. It was only fitting I take up a different name, a fearsome one. One that would make men quake in their boots to hear. Now that my mission is done and Pekka is dead, I think it’s time for me to say good bye to the Reaper.”

“So no more killing then?”

She shrugged. “Who knows? Killing is the only thing I’m good at and maybe while I’m on a job, I’ll still be the Reaper. But, if I’m going to be a part of the Dregs, I’d want them to know me differently. I’d want you to know me differently. So call me Y/N.”

Kaz stayed quiet, watching her silently. She liked those silent moments between them, she even savored it. Something about the quietness that she experienced with Kaz was different. Maybe it was because of their shared experience but being alone in Kaz’s presence was, strangely enough, comforting.

Just when she thought that Kaz wouldn’t answer her and she should probably step away from their closing distance, he took a heavy breath and said in a quiet, almost whisper-like voice. “My real name is Kaz Rietveld.”

She gave him a wide smile, a warmth spreading through her. She doubted a lot of people knew Kaz’s real name and she pressed the information close to her heart, a secret that she would never share, just like how she knew Kaz would never tell a soul about her heritage, about who her father really was.

“It’s nice to meet you, Kaz Rietveld,” She held out a hand between them. For another second, she worried that he wouldn’t take it due to his aversion to touch.

After another, quiet moment, he raised his gloved hand and said in his raspy, gravelly voice. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

[fics-n-stuff]

Home

Pairing: Kaz Brekker × Reader

Summary: Y/N and Kaz were once childhood friends, later reunited in the Barrel. After a business dealing went awry, Y/N has been in hiding for almost a year and the time apart has brought up a lot of feelings for Kaz.

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: touch aversion, alcohol consumption

A/N: I haven't actually read SoC yet but I have done my research so I really hope I wrote Kaz accurately enough 🤞🏽 Let me know!! I left the reader gender neutral so all parties can enjoy 😁

Update: Pt 2 here!

You stared out of the window, watching the nightlife of the Barrel in full swing below you. It had been almost a year since you had been able to be a part of it all and, even though you had lived in Ketterdam all your life, you felt like an outsider now.

There was a knock on the door and you froze, head tilting to listen out for any threat. After a moment there was another knock, loud and heavy – certainly not the result of somebody’s knuckle hitting the wood. With a sigh, you stood up from the window ledge and crossed the room to the door.

Kaz was waiting on the other side, looking unamused as ever, and you waved him inside quickly and hurriedly shut the door behind him.

“I am one of three people that knock on your door, Y/N.” He said flatly, removing his hat and placing it atop your desk.

“I can’t be too careful, never know when someone might come sniffing around here.” You replied with a shrug. Kaz hummed shortly in acknowledgment before producing a small stack of envelopes from his coat. You snatched them from him eagerly, but careful to ensure that your fingers made no contact with his gloved ones.

“I’m getting tired of being your courier.”

“Well, I’m getting tired of being in hiding.” You huffed, leafing through your letters. “But I’d rather not walk around in a city where I’m actively being hunted.”

“You shouldn’t have gotten caught then.” Your head snapped towards Kaz at that, and you raised your eyebrows challengingly.

“I should slap you for that.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Kaz’s face remained largely unchanged but you could see the shine of amusement in his eyes.

You had first met Kaz as a child, while visiting family in the village where his family lived. He was a sweet child, and you had struck up a fast friendship in the few months you spent there. You had even written letters back and forth for a couple of years until one time you never got a reply.

When you met again years later, entirely by chance, Kaz was a changed person. Your family’s fortune had taken a steep downturn and you found yourself alone, living in a tiny room in a boarding house in the Barrel, when Kaz came across you pickpocketing outside the Crow Club. He had recognised you, but you hadn’t recognised him at first. Everything about him was so departed from the sweet boy that you had known as a child.

He refused to tell you what had happened to change him in this way. He never gave you a cause for the ruthless person he had become to climb the ranks of the Dregs and earn the name Dirtyhands, never even told you what had brought him to Ketterdam at all other than that his father had died. He never pushed you away though. Kept you at arms length, yes, but he never tried to dissuade you from sticking around.

The longer you knew him the more you realised that he wasn’t as cold as his demeanour portrayed. He was fiercely loyal, you could see it in the way that he was with his Crows, and you were certain that he would do anything to protect those he cared about most. You admired that about him.

“You don’t have to come, you know. You could send Inej with my letters, she already delivers me food.” You said, turning away at the realisation that you had been looking at each other in silence for a few seconds too long. You went to sit down, picking up the envelope from the top of the pile and pulling up the wax seal. Kaz didn’t respond for a long while. You tried to read your letter but found yourself distracted with anticipation of what he would say, if he said anything at all.

“I commend your commitment to your business.” He said finally, and you smiled at the compliment. “Eleven months trapped in this apartment and you’re still keeping up with it all.”

“Being in hiding is no excuse to get lazy. If anything, it gives me more of a reason to keep on top of things. Work keeps me sane and keeps coin in my pocket.”

“And how long do you intend to keep conducting your business through letters and underlings?”

“For as long as I have to, Kaz. You know that.” You answered with a quiet sigh, setting down the letter that you definitely hadn’t been reading and turning your head to face him again. You saw his jaw tense and the grip on his cane tighten, but you didn’t know what it meant. You were worried that somehow you had done or said something to upset him.

You had learned, in the few years since your reunion, that sometimes even the most seemingly innocuous things could put Kaz in a black mood. You had caught on quickly to the way that he avoided touch at all costs, and adapted your behaviour accordingly. He had still never told you why being touched triggered such a strong reaction in him, but he knew that you would always respect that fact.

It didn’t matter to you what traumas Kaz had suffered to create these traits in him, only that you knew how to navigate being in his space without violating his boundaries, because deep down you knew that Kaz was the most important person in your life. He took you in and offered you support when you needed it, given you structure and taught you skills to survive without even necessitating that you use those skills to serve his gang, all because of the friendship that you had shared as children. It didn’t matter how heartless people said the Bastard of the Barrel was, you knew that Kaz cared; perhaps not in the same way that you had come to care for him, but he did care.

“Maybe you should go, I’m sure you have work of your own to do.” You mumbled, your eyes drifting downwards anxiously. “And anyway, I have letters to read.”

“I could protect you.” He blurted. His voice was a little louder than usual, his tone less flat, and your brow furrowed in confusion and curiosity. “We could. The Crows, and the Dregs.”

“I don’t need your protection.”

“But you’d have it.”

You turned fully in your chair, straddling it with one leg either side of the backrest, and leant your forearms on the top of it. There was something in Kaz’s eyes that you’d never seen before and, although you prided yourself on being able to tell how Kaz was feeling and what he might be thinking about, you couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Do you know something that I don’t?” You questioned.

“Of course not.”

“Do you suddenly not trust my ability to keep myself safe?”

“Nothing like that, Y/N.”

“Then what?” You rested your chin on your arms, looking up at him expectantly. He held your gaze, but you could see the cogs turning in his brain as he calculated his next sentence. You were preparing for an argument to start, so you certainly didn’t expect the words that came from him next.

“I’m concerned about how long you’ve been alone here.” He answered. You blinked.

“Concerned?” Your voice cracked a little with your surprise, and Kaz clenched his jaw as he averted his eyes from you.

“I just thought that maybe all this time on your own might have had some affect on you. And I... hold a certain sense of responsibility.” His voice never wavered or faltered, other than the one pause there was no suggestion in his speech that the words held any significance to him, but you could see the tension in his shoulders and the tight grip that he maintained on his cane.

You narrowed your eyes, taking a moment to examine his face and his demeanour. Everything about him was wound tight, like he was making a particularly tricky deal rather than talking to a friend – you hoped that he considered you a friend – and though he was looking in your general direction you noted his avoidance of eye contact.

“If I didn’t know better I’d think you were saying that you miss me, Mr Brekker.” You said, your mouth turning in a small smirk. You saw Kaz’s chest tighten as he silently took in a sharp breath, and you chuckled lightly. “I’m fine, Kaz. Inej visits often enough, and I’m happy to see you when you deliver my letters. I will say though, I miss drinking with your Crows.”

Truthfully, you did feel rather trapped in your tiny apartment. For almost a whole year your entire world had consisted of only three rooms, and even if you didn’t admit it you were going slightly mad. Not being able to leave was frustrating, and living your whole life in one room (because really, who spends that much of their day in the bathroom or kitchen?) made you feel like a caged animal.

He didn’t reply. He also didn’t move. You watched him, standing straight and stiff as ever in the middle of the room, for a few moments. Usually he would have said something or made a move to leave, so you knew that he was deep in thought about something. You slouched further down against the backrest of your chair.

“If you’re planning on sticking around then you should at least sit down.” You sighed. “I have some kvas, or whisky if you’d prefer.” Kaz shook his head no to the drink but made a move towards the window seat. You watched him cross the room and sit down, his grip remaining on his cane as he placed it between his knees. “What’s on your mind, Kaz?”

“It’s not important.”

“That can’t be true.”

“And why is that?” He questioned dully.

“Because you’re still here, with me, staring into space like you’re waiting for the wind to tell you a secret.” He looked at you then, and you could see a conflict swirling behind his eyes. You resisted the urge to furrow your brow in worry. He still didn’t say anything, and that didn’t do anything to ease your concern because Kaz Brekker was not often one to be at a loss for words. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes.” He murmured, his head nodding slightly.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” You asked softly. He looked into your eyes for a few seconds before turning his head away, clearly deciding not to answer. You were almost expecting him to get up and leave the apartment right then, remove himself from the uncomfortable situation like he had been known to do before, but he made no move to stand.

You stood instead, abruptly moving through to the tiny kitchen and pouring a glass of whisky for yourself. You took a long sip as you came back out into the living space, picking up a wooden staff on your way. You kept up your combat training while in hiding, though it wasn’t often that you got an opponent.

“Humour me, will you?” You smiled, spinning the staff in your hand and setting your drink down.

“There’s not much space in here.” Kaz commented.

“Then we’ll be careful. Get up and fight me, coward.” You goaded. He gave you an incredulous look but stood anyway, tossing his cane up and grabbing it at it’s middle as he came towards you. Your grin broadened, and you waited just until the was in your range before you swung at him.

Your staff collided with his cane, moved up just in time to block your attack, and he watched you with challenging amusement. You let him make the next attack, knocking his cane away when he swung it towards you.

You exchanged blows, each of you managing to block all of the other’s attacks but you were starting to corner him. It seemed like you were about to get the upper hand when he swiped his cane towards your middle, making you jump back, and before you could move to swing on him he had pushed the crow’s head handle into your chest, not so hard that it was painful but with enough force to knock you backwards.

You landed on the edge of your bed with a groan, letting the staff drop from your hand in defeat.

“No fair, your cane is basically an extension of your arm.” You grumbled. Kaz let out a short breath, the closest thing to a laugh that anyone could get from him.

“You picked the fight.” He shrugged, lowering his cane and righting it at his hip. “I could have told you that you wouldn’t win it.”

“Mean!” You exclaimed in exaggerated offense, sitting up. When you looked at Kaz his expression was soft, the worry behind his eyes seemingly eased, and you smiled. “I could beat you if it was hand to hand.”

“I don’t doubt that.” He replied, the almost compliment catching you by surprise once again.

It had been a while since you and Kaz had spent any significant amount of time together. He was a busy man, particularly so over the last few months it seemed, so other than his brief drop-ins to deliver your letters you hadn’t seen him. It was nice to have his company again, even if he was a little off.

“Do you remember those drawings of Ketterdam that I used to send you with my letters?” You questioned softly, tucking your knees up to your chest. “I used to walk around the city looking for spots to sketch. I’d spend hours sitting on the street with my pencils trying to get the picture perfect to show you what it was like. I think, now, you probably know the city better than I do.” You smiled wistfully, resting your head on your knees as you looked up at Kaz. You saw his Adam’s apple bob with a swallow.

“You miss it, don’t you?” He asked.

“Of course.”

“You could go out there, stop hiding. You know I would look out for you.”

“I can’t put that burden on you, Kaz.” You chuckled lightly. “Enough people want you dead already, you don’t need to be looking after me while I’m being actively hunted.”

“How long do you plan on staying locked in here then?”

“As long as it takes, we went through this earlier. I have a big deal coming up, with the money from that I’d be able to smooth over some edges and maybe I could come out of hiding in a few months.” You theorised. “I’d still have to watch over my shoulder all the time but it would be an improvement.” Kaz’s jaw tightened again, and he bristled with agitation.

You hugged your knees tighter, doubt and worry overcoming you. Was Kaz not okay with coming to see you here anymore? Was he trying to get you out of hiding to lighten the burden it had put on him, getting your letters delivered to the Crow Club and having to bring them to you? The thought of not being able to rely on his short visits was enough to fill your chest with a mixture of dread and guilt.

“Like I said before, you don’t have to keep coming if that’s the problem.” You added, hiding the dejection in your voice. “Inej can-"

“No.” He interrupted bluntly. You blinked, pressing your lips together in contemplation. Was he upset that Inej was bringing supplies for you? Or worse, had something happened to her? Was that what was bothering him so much tonight?

“Why not?”

“Because I-" He cut himself off. He took a step back as if regaining his balance, his gaze falling to the floor, and you watched him flex his fingers around his cane as he organised his words. “Do you remember how you got sick while you were visiting your family?”

“Kaz.” You murmured tentatively, craning your neck to try and get a better look at his face that was turned away from you. Kaz didn’t like to talk about the past. Even bringing up the letters that you sent each other had been pushing it, but for him to choose to talk about your childhood was something he had never done before. Still now, it looked like the mention of the past was making him nauseous as he moved to sit down in the window once again. Your curiosity was growing by the second.

“You got sick and you could hardly get out of bed for almost a fortnight.” He continued, dismissing your concern. “I went to visit you every day. I picked flowers for you to make you feel better, and your mother baked oatmeal cookies but I refused to have any unless you did because you weren’t eating enough.”

“I remember.” You nodded. “You never let my glass of water get empty. It was sweet. But why does it matter now?”

“I can’t... I can’t stop worrying about you. But unlike when we were kids, I can’t just walk up the street and check on you every day.”

You felt as if all the air had been knocked out of your lungs and for a second you genuinely wondered if you had made that up in your head. Kaz very rarely expressed any emotion – the mask he wore hardly ever slipped – but here he was telling you that he worried about you. For Kaz, that was practically him baring his soul for you to see.

“You don’t have to worry about me.” You said shakily. “I’ve been fine so far, haven’t I?”

“But what if you’re not fine for much longer? As long as you’re holed up here I can’t keep you safe, and I can’t come to check on you because if I come here too often people might notice. Honestly, it’s a miracle that they haven’t already.”

“I didn’t think you believed in miracles.” You mumbled. Kaz glanced up at you, and the vulnerability on his face was unlike anything you’d seen before. It struck you in the heart and made you feel a need to comfort him, to put him at ease. “I can take care of myself, Kaz. I promise."

He was silent for a moment, his gaze downcast once again, then he took a deep breath and spoke.

“I think I’ll take that drink now.”

You watched him for just a second before you got up, crossing over to your desk and picking up the glass of whiskey that you had left there. The glass was half full since you had admittedly poured a little too generously.

You held it out to Kaz, who reached for it without looking. Although you were careful to hold the glass at the very top, his gloved fingers still brushed slightly over yours as he took a hold of it. He immediately stiffened, and you were quick to pull your hand away, taking a step back to give him space. He downed the drink in one, his face scrunching just slightly at the burn it left in his throat as he set the glass down by his feet.

“I just want to be able to watch over you.” He said, his voice barely more than a whisper, and you could practically see how difficult it was for him to verbalise his feelings.

“I think... I understand what you mean, Kaz. But I’m safer staying here than being out there, even with the Dregs protecting me. You have to know that, right?”

Kaz pushed a peice of hair out of his face, his gloved hand smoothing over his head as he let out a long and quiet sigh. Finally, he looked up at you.

“I know.” He answered.

“I appreciate your concern though.” You smiled. “Honestly, I didn’t think you cared about me that much. Or, well, I knew you cared but I just didn’t think... nevermind.”

“You didn’t think what?” Kaz’s question made you pause, anxiety pooling in your chest as you contemplated coming clean about your feelings. You thought about lying, about keeping your secrets to yourself, but Kaz had been so sincere it only felt right to return his honesty. With a deep breath, you worked up the courage to finally tell him the truth.

“I didn’t think that you cared as much as I do.” You replied. The sentence hung in the air for a moment as you moved back to sit in your desk chair, heart pounding in your chest. “I’ve kind of found myself caring a lot, actually. I think it’s only fair, really. I mean, I kind of owe you my life and all so it makes sense that I care. That’s not to say that it’s sensible but it is at least understandable, I guess.”

You bit your lip to stop your rambling, dropping your head so that you didn’t have to look at Kaz. There was a long stretch of silence.

“I care more than I might show.” He spoke softly, much more softly than you think you’d ever heard his voice. When you looked up Kaz was gazing right back at you, your eyes locking and his stare going deep into your soul. He didn’t need to say more, that simple sentence and the look in his eyes were enough to tell you what he was confessing. A smile pulled at your lips.

“Be careful what you admit, Brekker, or I might think that you’re going soft.” You joked, and he shook his head lightly in amusement. You leaned forward with your elbows on your knees, letting go of the anxiety that had been coursing through you.

“I'm serious, Y/N."

“I know. You don’t make a habit of saying things that you don’t mean.” You nodded. You glanced up at the clock on your wall with a sigh. “You really should get going, it’s dangerous for us both for you to stay too long.”

“Yes, I suppose so.” He muttered.

He stood after a moment, his hand flexing over the crow’s head handle of his cane. You reached back to pick his hat up from the desk, and he held a hand out for it, but instead of passing it to him you placed atop your own head. It was too big, and you had to push it back on your head so it didn’t slide over your face.

“You know, I rather like you without the hat.” You smiled.

“Is that so?”

“Yep. I can see your face better this way so I can tell when your emotions manage to break through.” Kaz’s lips quirked upwards a little as he took the hat from your head and put it on his own. You jutted your lip out in an exaggerated pout and he let out a huff that seemed suspiciously close to a laugh.

“Do you have any letters you need me to send out?”

“No, not this time.”

“Alright, then I’ll be on my way.” He gave a quick nod and turned towards the door. He had only taken a couple of steps when you twisted in your chair and called after him .

“Kaz.” He stopped and turned back to you. “I’m doing what I can to get out of this apartment, I promise.”

“That’s not something that you owe me, Y/N. It’s your freedom and your safety. But I await the day that you come waltzing into the Crow Club ready to make Jesper lose all the coin in his pocket.” He replied lightly, making you smile. “And if you need anything then I’m here, all you have to do is ask.”

“Thank you, not just for this but for everything. Everything that you’ve given me since that night outside the Crow Club. I might be dead if it weren’t for you.” You let sentiment out freely, finally feeling able to show your heart to Kaz now that you knew that your affections weren’t one sided. His expression softened, and he seemed to contemplate something deeply, before he took a single step back towards you and held out one gloved hand.

You hesitated, unsure if he was initiating what you were thinking, but he maintained eye contact. He gave a small nod, a mix of permission and encouragement, and you tentatively reached for his outstretched hand.

Kaz took in a deep breath when your hand made contact with his, and you watched him carefully ready to pull your hand away. After a moment he released the breath, wrapping his fingers lightly around yours and running his thumb over your knuckles.

“You’re the closest thing to home that I have.” He croaked. “I didn’t want to lose that.”

“You won’t.” You affirmed. Kaz released your hand, and you found yourself missing the feeling of the leather glove. He took a small step back, trying to hide the shake in his breathing.

“I’ll come back soon, as soon as it’s safe to.”

“Okay.” You smiled. “I’ll see you then.”

Kaz left the apartment without another word between you, he paused before closing the door after himself just to look at you for a moment longer. You watched out of the window to see him leave the building and start off through the street, a broad smile on your face.

[gothickyle]

“Coffee Shop”

Kaz Brekker X Fem!Reader

(Modern AU) oneshot

Summary: Kaz Brekker has moved to a new town called Ketterdam, he has developed a crush in a waitress at his favorite coffee shop. His friend have encouraged him to ask her out.

Note: I haven’t written or posted in 100+ days,so this might be cringe (I want to write again)

Kaz’s POV: My friend keeps bugging me about the waitress at my favorite coffee shop, “Come on Kaz, you keep eyeing her like some creep when we go there, just ask her out.”

Jesper,my best friend, was the first one to notice that I was interested in her. “I don’t know if am ready yet though, am not so open to other people.” I said.

I don’t enjoy opening up to people, it took me a while to adjust with becoming friends with Jesper. What if she doesn’t even like me back?

Later that evening, I went to order a sandwich and frappuccino. When I entered she was their,counting money at the register. I noticed that there wasn’t that many people there. Perfect.

I sat down at a table near the counter.

Y/n’s POV: Today was a slow day, all I was thinking about was the guy called Kaz, he comes every day to order the same thing. A sandwich and frappuccino.

I heard the bell go off, which means someone has entered and I saw him again. He sat near the counter and I picked up my notepad and went up to him.

“Hello Mr.Kaz, how are you? I see you’re back again, as usual.” I don’t know what it is but when he comes here I get very excited, mostly because I hate this job and these small interactions are fun sometimes. I flirt with him sometimes but I don’t wanna take it to far though. What if he doesn’t like me?

Kaz’s POV:

She came back with my order was gonna go back to what she was doing but I needed to confess sooner or later. “Hey Y/n, can I ask you something?” She turned around. “Sure, what is it Kaz?”

“I’m doing good Y/n and please stop calling me Mr., no need to be formal with me. I just order the usual.” She doesn’t even need to write down what I want, she just knows it at this point.

“I was wondering if I could talk to you after you finish your shift.” I asked her not trying to be creepy, now in this day and age with how many low life’s there are in this world, I understand why she would reject me.

“Ummm well I get off at 10, can you pick me up?” She said and “I can pick you up, I just wanna ask you something.” She smiled and asked, “What do you wanna ask me Kaz?”

“I think it’s better to tell you after you finish your shift.”

“Fine” she rolled her eyes playfully “Meet me at the back of the building at 10.”

Third Person POV: Kaz was waiting out the back,when he heard the back door open and saw Y/n leaving. “I’m here” Kaz shouted and she walk towards him. “So what is that you want to tell me?” She asked while Kaz gave her a bouquet of flowers.

“Flowers? Is this some kind of date?” She smirked at him.

“No? Yes? I don’t know. I’ll tell you what I wanna ask you while where walking.” He replied fast, he was getting flustered and didn’t know how to open up about his feelings.

“Relax…am just teasing!” She laughed and he smiled for a quick second.

While walking they were talking about random thing when finally he got the courage to tell her how he feels.

“Y/n?”

“Yes?”

“I asked you to come out here because….I like you and I wanna take you out on a date.” It was silent for a second until she finally spoke. “Isn’t this already a date?”

“I guess but I wanna take you to a restaurant or a amusement park. And ask you out normally not meeting out back in a alley way where you work at.” He felt embarrassed because she wasn’t saying anything.

“Listen if you don’t want to that’s fine-”

“Relax Brekker, I like you too”

——————————————————————————-

So this was trash but I’ll write better stuff in the future.