#grian will destroy the entire server for mumbo

[mello-avian]

doc should know better than to mess with grians relationship with mumbo and even try and say hes the best friend and grian isnt, doc are you aware of this mans obsession… are you aware he was going to kill that man in last life so they could BE TOGETHER AGAIN? DOC ARE YOU CRAZY DOC RUN RUN AWAY

[dead-inside-demiboy]

Im so fucking tired right now but hear me out

So Grian has been known to look like a cod for a long time

But in Mumbos new episode he is said to look like a salmon

So you could say that Grian looks like a combination of a cod and a salmon, almost as though he came from putting the two of them together

And in empires s1 when jimmy and fwip put a cod and a salmon together the entire server got destroyed and chaos ensued

Grian is known for causing destruction and chaos

And he was on the empires s2 server

[fluffypotatey]

okay so:

the year is 2021. the month is june. the new season of hermitcraft, season 8, has just started, and everything is great! the hermits are all messing around, having fun, building insane things within the first week of the server being active, and generally having a good time. everyone's collected themselves into little factions, pranking each other, and it's all the fun, lighthearted, mostly-vanilla content hermitcraft is known for.

and then the split between minecraft versions 1.18 and 1.19 is announced. the delay of new terrain, and especially of new mobs like the warden, considerably disrupt several of the hermits' plans. but it's fine, they'll figure something out, they're professionals, and it mostly goes unnoticed.

about two weeks later, on november 9th, grian turns to mumbo jumbo in one of his episodes, and asks the famous question that would seal hermitcraft season 8's fate:

"mumbo, is the moon... big?"

suddenly, the fans panic. they search back through videos and streams, and realize that the moon had been abnormally large and stuck in a full-moon phase since october 30th. the Moon Big event has begun.

this is where the roleplay really starts. once the moon's size has been brought up, the hermits start a weird combination of scrambling to figure out why the moon's growing, and how to stop it- but also of ignoring it, hoping it won't be a problem, hoping someone else will deal with it. the moon keeps getting bigger, more hermits start realizing it's going on, and a creeping sense of dread starts to grow. but it's fine. it's fine, right? they do little plotlines like this all the time. they'll figure something out, the moon will go back to normal, and we'll laugh about it when this is all over. it's fine.

and then, blocks start flying away. just floating up out of the ground, and falling right back down! like for a moment, a square meter chunk of dirt has decided it's a ballerina and leaped out of the ground! but it's fine, right? the blocks are coming back. no lasting harm is done. they're going to fix it all... right?

the moon gets bigger. it's growing every day- local hermit weirdguy joe hills measures it every stream. the blocks start flying higher. gravity starts getting... weird, with players getting the slow falling effect at random, and being lifted off of the earth themselves. the players form cults and rituals and whatnot to try and appease the moon, convince it to leave them alone, making plans to escape. nothing works. things keep getting worse, and the moon keeps getting bigger. but it'll be fine. these storylines never leave lasting harm, or at least they never have before. they'll be fine.

and then the blocks stop coming back, just floating into the sky forever. the players have the slow falling effect more than they don't now. the moon is now so big it's visible even during the day, and fills the entire sky at night. they start planning their escapes in earnest, and say their goodbyes. some hermits jump into a void hole in the overworld (it was the centerpiece of their village). some flee to the End, some to the nether, some just fly with elytras and hope they can get far enough away in time. one brave hermit, tango, flies himself to the moon in a futile attempt to blow the whole thing up before it can crash.

but in the end, the moon crashes into the server, and everything they'd built was destroyed. and the whole time, there'd been nothing any of them could've done. season eight was over, a full six months before anyone had expected it to end, and season nine wouldn't start until about three months later. and im still not okay about it.

(here's a cool animatic of the moon's crash! honestly i dont think you need too much hermitcraft knowledge to get the gist)

(also the moon crash happened on the day before my birthday lmao.)

….

holy shit

[quaranmine]

i have to say the entire thing with blowing up mumbo's door was just. flawlessly executed in both concept and result. grian's like number one personality trait on the hermitcraft server, aside from being a troublemaker, is how much hes obsessed with mumbo. this man is completely deranged about mumbo. he's made it ABUNDANTLY clear he wants that crown just for the sake of having an object that proves he's mumbo's best friend. everyone knows this and has known this since he joined the server.

so to then take this desire, and trick/force grian into setting off a tnt trap that destroys mumbo's FANCY REDSTONE DOOR? oooh. ooohohohoh. it's so good. it immediately lands grian in a position that looks terrible, where he has to justify and explain what actually happened. it's redstone so he obviously can't fix it, unlike if just a portion of the build was blown up. he can't pretend it didn't happen and fix it before mumbo sees, because the tnt was placed where it actually hurts: the redstone design. it interplays perfectly back into the original sin of breaking doc's machine.

it also plays the psychological card--mumbo's only got one best friend, and it's not you. how could it be you? look how you just blew up something he worked so hard on! you can have the crown, but it's your actions that matter, and your greed to prove your friendship to mumbo with the crown has forced you to hurt him instead. it uses grian's desperation (insecurity?) against him to (potentially) drive them further apart. OUCH.

10/10 flawless torture. i'm incredibly pleased.

[kianaisspiraling]

*inhales*

WILD LIFE WILD LIFE WILDLIFEWILDLIFEWIL—

Okay okay so so far I've only watched Grian's pov but I'm gonna be binging soooo many others right after this.

First off- Skizz, Mumbo and Grian is just. Such an unexpected and silly group, I love them. Skizz, loyal to the bone. Grian, loyal but can switch sides if needed; won't betray you first. And Mumbo; the least loyal guy on the server, goes completely bonkers the moment he turns red

They also all just like. Carry themselves so seriously? But will very quickly devolve into being incredibly silly? So so silly. They will NOT last long, they're gonna fall apart faster than the Southlands for sure with the cheating allegations Mumbo is throwing at Grian, but it'll be hilarious :)

Grian: apologizing for knowing the wild cards beforehand

Me: smiles and adds it to the pile of Watcher Grian lore

Moving on from them:

*inhales again*

MISSING DOG FOUND-?!?

AND WE GOT TREEBARK BACK!!!!!! :D

The sheer happiness I felt when I saw Ren back oh my void, we missed you buddy. Martyn immediately pairing up with Ren whenever they are on the same server has my heart. They're theatre kids your honor. Can't wait to see Ren pull out his guitar <3

We also have TEAM CRINGE-FAIL-?! Lizzie, Scar, Jimmy all on the same team-? That's amazing. It would be hilarious if THIS is the season Tim wins. SURELY having such a high concentration of loser (affectionate) energy will circle around to make them clutch. Surely. It's their moment.

Smth smth, Lizzie and Scar were the only two people alone last season. Smth smth, Lizzie died first and Scar last. Smth smth, Scar reaches out an unconditional hand to Lizzie, offering her an ally because he knows what it's like to be without. Smth smth, Lizzie accepts because she knows waiting for allies leads to none. They're friends now :)

I also heard Scar brought the reputation points back?? If that's true then oml we're so close to getting a Third Life parody. So so close, especially with Scar falling off a cliff and dying while singing, claiming that everything that touches the light is his. It is SUCH a good season for us folks that never left the desert. Bonus points if Grian ends up with Scar after the Sub-One Club inevitably crumbles.

We've ALSO got the op, terrifying duo of Gem and Joel. They are going to be SO unhinged. They will be the chaos group this season, mark my words. They will inevitably fuck shit up and I am WAITING for it. Manifesting Gem or Joel win >:)

And over here we've got three of the divorce quartet (Scott, Pearl, and Cleo) allied with the local supportive dad (Impluse). Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone outside or in between, we once again have the girls, the gays, and ImpulseSV. Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss, girldad <3

The three of them just reminiscing on Double Life while Impulse stays quiet, internally remembering his little life in the suburbs with Bdubs as they stirred the pot and watched drama unfold. He DOES NOT have anything to add to this conversation on messy divorce.

Also apparently Scott canonically believes that HE'S the reason Jimmy broke the canary curse and Scar won in secret life?? Because he stopped them from allying together last season or something?? That's just wonderful to me. I don't think he's entirely wrong either, they would've destroyed each other SO quickly

Now, getting on to BigB and whatever he's got going on. Something DEFINITELY happened to him in that hole last season, because he is getting increasingly cryptic. OF COURSE he would live in the Pale Garden with the Creaking. Where else would he go??

I absolutely love everyone making BigB a Creaking hybrid, but hear me out: BigB has ALSO been made a watcher by the fandom in previous seasons because of things like the Nosy Neighbors in Limited Life and his Whole Thing in Secret Life, right? You know what the Watchers are often compared to? Biblically accurate angels. You know what the Creaking has been compared to? Weeping Angels. BigB is a Weeping Angel.

(Maybe Weeping Angels are a type of Watcher. they're closely related to the Creaking; perhaps they made it?)

(I have not watched Doctor Who, though I'd like to. All I know is that Weeping Angels are VERY Watcher-core to me <3)

Finally we have a classic trio of Etho, Bdubs, and Tango. They're taming horses, they're non-stop bickering, they DO NOT share, it's every man for themselves. Tango is third wheeling Ethubs so much rn. They get on each other's nerves. They're besties, after all they keep putting themselves together no matter how much they bicker. Team BET ily <3

Love that Etho IMMEDIATELY tries to ally with the local Watcher for inside information, but Grian refuses to give it to him. It was worth a shot, buddy. I adore every second of screen time in which Grian and Etho interact. They are SUCH a good duo for me. One Stick Wither and Etho's Dishwasher, you will forever be famous <3

Anyhow, I think that covers everything I have to say for now, having watched one pov and scrolled Tumblr for a while. I cannot WAIT for this season, as there's a lot of stuff from previous seasons coming back, with Renchanting, the divorce quartet, Scar bringing back reputation points, and more. I can't wait to see this unfold :D

[ooooo-mcyt]

In case anyone didn't watch Ren's pov, I want to go through Ren killing Impulse from his perspective, since he very much did mislead Impulse about his role after the fact and I want to make it clear he was very much minimizing his own guilt here;

Ren, shortly after turning yellow, approached Skizz with the expressed purpose of getting a kill together. He's very quick to immediately suggest The Final Girls, "There's a whole pack of dark greens who are cowering away like cowards at the other side of the server..we should just go and kill them, bro!"

They approach Grian and Mumbo and once again Ren instantly makes the suggestion to target The Final Girls, "I propose we go out to the castle on the other side of the mountain, all the dark greens are there cowering away, like cowards I tell you! I want to destroy them, but we need a distraction!", which works out because Mumbo and Grian had already chosen them as good targets for Skizz.

Now, technically Grian is the one who makes the plan and gives Ren the cobwebs, which is why I say Ren was misleading Impulse when he later tries to make it out to be entirely Grian's fault, not lying to him.

Ren did very much mislead Impulse, though. "It was Grian's idea! Grian gave me the cobwebs! He came to me!" Ren insists when Impulse confronts him, very blatantly trying to shift blame and minimize his own involvement.

Impulse is also specifically upset that he was the one targeted, pointing out that he had fewer lives than other members of the group. Ren heavily implies this was Grian's idea too (although i'm not sure if that specific implication was entirely intentional on ren's part) when it very much was not. Grian's attack plan was never specifically targeted, Ren had the discretion in choosing to kill Impulse over anyone else in the group.

Ren very much (understandably) was trying to minimize his own blame in the situation to avoid retribution from Impulse, but it's very apparent watching Ren's pov that he was very willingly involved.

(*Someone in the comments pointed this out and I thought it was a good point so I wanted to add it here; Gem did specifically tell Ren to target Impulse and Pearl, so Ren very well could have been trying to protect her and their alliance by pinning the blame onto Grian exclusively)

[blueishspace]

Looped Sun

*"You won" that's the last thing he remember saying to Scar as he wins Secret Life, he is... weirdly proud of him actually. Is that weird? Maybe. Then he feels himself being pulled back and-*

Loop #1

Grian woke up back in the desert, he couldn't understand how...and why? The Watchers surely wouldn't do this.

This time he tried to save Scar, maybe he could change the game a little? Doing it the same just seemed like a waste of an opportunity, and in the end if he was being honest getting to play Third Life again wasn't that bad and getting back to Hermitcraft after was even better.

He knew now that the moon was coming as soon as he stepped foot in s8... He was a bit frantic and got a few side eyes from the hermits that... slightly hurt but he managed to get everyone earlier then last time so that was a plus!

Season 9 on the other went by in a breeze, he joined Ren this time around to have some fun and managed to avoid the emperors destroying Grumbot so that was a plus.

Secret Life was just ending, this time with new tasks he didn't get to try last time, everything was good and Pearl won and-

Loop #2

Grian was back in the desert.

Maybe, he tought, he was supposed to fix stuff? Well, he could wait for Third Life to be over and warn everyone of the moon crash ...he had to tell everyone that he was a watcher but they took it well and he managed to get everyone into a different server.

Then, Ren taking the throne, he had joined him last time so maybe he was supposed to oppose him from the start, he could resist from resisting from starting a resistance.

When it came time for Secret Life he had to admit that he tried his best really to fix everything he could-

Loop #3

Back to the desert it is, that's fine... After 3rd Life he just had to not do wars and be as nice and kind as he could. He was fine really, it was a bit hard to not crave the chaos... At least the life games were a good way to let go and go feral.

This Secret Life had gone well, second place wasn't so shabby, now it was time to-

Loop #4

The desert sands were starting to get to his nerves, Scar noticed his distaste for them and made a joke about Anakin Skywalker because of course he did.

He didn't try anything weird this time, he just tought and tought and tought... was last in two games and got worried looks from hus friends but finally-

Loop #5

He got it! He just needed to win every single life game! Why didn't he think about it earlier? He's got pratice now, It's going to be a peace of cake!

...

Double Life, of course it was Double Life. Scar died and he got out first... By the time Secret Life ends he accepts that-

Loop #6

Stupid stupid stupid! He shouted at Scar! He's horrible! He didn't mean to but he hurt him... Mumbo shouts at him, that never happened before but he deserves. He didn't ever think he would make Scar cry like that, he's an horrible friend.

Grian locks himself in his base and when the moon crashes he greets it with a smile-

Loop #7

So permadeath can cause the loop to restart? Good to know...

He tests it again this time, just to be sure, logs off the server and jumps into the void between worlds, it's painful but-

Loop #8

This time he's determined. He's been doing this for ten years now. He wins every game, every single one. His friends say the game is rigged but he doesn't care because he did it!

He won! Secret Life ends with another victory to his name! He won-

Loop #9

...

...

He logs out of Third Life and hides in a cave for the whole season 8 until the moon crashes.

Loop #10

He says there's a glitch, Third Life is cut short and he never makes the others. It's hard to pretend nothing has happened but he manages.

By the time Secret Life should have happened he's in hus base, he can't be sent back now-

Loop #11

Nothing he do works, why doesn't it? Maybe he just hasn't gone extreme enough... it tooks a while to get the tnt but soon the entire server is rigged with tnt. He looks with manic glee as Third Life is destroyed.

He becomes a cultist for the moon and then an evil king before Ren... His friends are worried for him but they don't get the chance-

Loop #12

Maybe he's just supposed to play it straight, exactly like the original. He doesn't understand why it would be that but he has exausted all options.

It is extremely dull but he managed to get as close as possible to the original... He crossed your fingers as you tell Scar that he won-

Loop #13

He was going to figure this out, he built a time machine once back in season 6, he could do this.

It took a while to build another time machine but all he had to do was travel to a time after Secret Life and-

Loop #14

Keralis, Joe or maybe X? One of them must be able to help, he was sure of it.

He asked each of them but despite all the help they gave-

Loop #15

It was another Third Life when it happened, he and a yellow life Scar were walking on the desert sand, close to the ravine.

Scar: Oh! Almost fell down! Wouldn't want to do that again!

How did he know that- wait, had he said again? Did he... maybe there was hope!

Grian: Scar? What do you mean again?

Scar: ... Oh! Right uh I mean dying! Don't want to do that again?

Grian: Is time...repeating for you?

Scar: Grian? You too?

Grian: Oh thank the end, Scar!

Scar: Grian? You're here too? Why are we back here?

Grian: I have no idea.

And the two embraced eachother.

Next

[ceramic-galanter]

Hermitcraft Guide: Transcript/accessible version

Hermitcraft is a vanilla style* multiplayer server that has been running in a season format since 2012. Each season, the players move to a new world and start anew, meaning now’s the perfect time to start watching!

The server is invite only, and new people can join only when the existing Hermits unanimously agree that they would be a good fit. The Hermits have regular meetings to discuss new ideas and any concerns.

I don’t recommend watching every episode by every Hermit. There’s shows like HermitCraft Recap to keep you up to date! Don’t feel obligated to watch everything, just have fun!

* the server is mostly unmodded, but in recent seasons, the Hermits have been implementing custom items and texture packs for the sake of storytelling

Individual hermit descriptions under the cut

Descriptions are all edited by myself, with some contributions from other people :)

Hermit: BdoubleO100

Quote: “Axe wielding maniac, that’s me!”

Flags: USA

Description: Bdubs is a master at using unconventional blocks in his highly detailed builds.

It’s a point of pride to always be the one to sleep and skip the night before the others can.

He’s often teased about his height despite not being the shortest Hermit.

Hermit: Cubfan135

Quote: “There is redstone back there… Basically, it does stuff.”

Flags: USA

Description: Cub is really good at basically every aspect of Minecraft, and always goes big in his projects. With Scar, he created a capitalistic empire and then decided he didn’t care for industry afterward, since he had already won. Cub then became a freeloading basement dweller. He enjoys confusing other people with strange antics.

Hermit: Docm77

Quote: “We will crush them with our redstone spaghetti”

Flags: Germany

Description: A bit of an intense guy, Doc is unafraid to play the scary villain. Don’t let that fool you – he’s a big softie. His Twitter is 50% “hey who wants to see the game-breaking death machine I built” and 50% about his adorable kid, nicknamed “Doccy”

His arm was canonically destroyed by the Minecraft dev Dinnerbone back in 2013.

[Desciption provided by anon]

Hermit: Ethoslab

Quote: “Xisuma is okay with pretty much everything I do if he doesn’t find out about it.”

Flags: Canada

Description: Etho is a Minecraft O.G. and the creator of many of the redstone designs that everyone uses. He’s a very dedicated player with an unconventional style, and the other Hermits are a bit obsessed with him. He’s your favourite YouTuber’s favourite YouTuber. And there’s a reason for that.

Hermit: FalseSymmetry

Quote: The Queen of Hearts, Heads and Body Parts

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Very approachable and friendly, but has a reputation for her confidence in PVP. False works on very large, thematically strong builds. She was the first Minecraft Championship participant to achieve multiple consecutive wins.

Hermit: Geminitay

Quote: “How am I supposed to Live Laugh Love in these conditions!?”

Flags: Canada, Bisexual

Description: Gem is a talented builder with an appreciation of cute aesthetics that’s matched only by her thirst for blood. She’s truly earned the descriptor “Geminislay.”

She joined in season 8, and has effectively struck fear into the hearts of the other Hermits, particularly Etho, despite her wholesome personality.

Hermit: Grian

Quote: “Not everything I do has to start a war, okay? Sometimes I just want to start a society of sewer mole people.”

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Grian always builds big and pranks bigger. He delights in nothing less than being a public nuisance. This starts (good-natured) wars within the server repeatedly.

He’s very social, but is basically glued to Mumbo and Scar. Infamously never bothers with the backs of his builds.

Hermit: Impulse SV

Quote: "I hate being bad at stuff!"

Flags: USA

Description: Impulse gets a reputation for being super nice all the time but he will hold a grudge forever.

He once moved his entire base up by one block because he thought it would make it look better (it did)

One season he ate crystals.

[Description provided by sudden-memory-loss]

Hermit: Hypnotizd

Quote: “And then I found an enderchest here, it’s got a lot of good stuff in it!”

Flags: USA

Description: Hypno's one of the more reserved Hermits, sticking to himself (+ bothering xB and Jevin). He's extremely laid-back and has a little bit of a deadpan silly sense of humor. He’s a very observant guy who builds geometric and rustic creations. His post-annotated runs of the minigame Decked Out 2 are great if you want to see someone actively break down how they play!

[Description provided by anon]

Hermit: Iskall85

Quote: “Let’s not end it on a goodbye, let’s end it on a Hallo”

Flags: Sweden

Description: A hardworking builder and redstone engineer. Loves making minigames, most of which revolve around gambling. Iskall is a dedicated hater of diorite blocks. Creator of the Vault Hunters modpack and server(s), which he has spent most his time playing recently.

Hermit: JoeHills

Quote: “Sufficiently advanced bothering-each-other is indistinguishable from teamwork”

Flags: USA

Description: Joe is a strange person, and his brand of absurdity cannot easily be put into words. He typically ends his videos with a poem or strange moral. Joe makes funny low energy videos, perfect for those who want to watch something laid-back.

Hermit: iJevin

Quote: “It’s actually pretty straightforward and almost easy. Sometimes.”

Flags: USA

Description: Unashamed. Just in general. A real hard worker who’s willing to destroy a massive project and start over. This commitment carries over into prank wars, which escalate to truly ludicrous heights.

Hermit: Keralis

Quote: “Let’s take the Black Death. I like the sound of that.”

Flags: Sweden, Poland

Description: Keralis favours modern, industrial-styled builds that carry the impression of wealth and prestige. His creations always have a strong sense of life to them. Keralis has a habit of referring to the others with silly nicknames such as “Shashwammy” and  “Bubbles”,

Hermit: PearlescentMoon

Quote: “Yeah, I’m a little suspicious of myself to be honest.”

Flags: Australia

Description: Pearl is perhaps one of the best builders in all of MCYT. Her works are awe-inspiring in scale, but really shine in their details. A long-time friend of Grian, she joined HC in season 8 and fits right in, with a unique energy that’s full of fun. She is always up for a light bit of pranking or teasing, with unstoppable chaotic energy when she’s up at 5am for events.

[Description provided by cerealisafunbath and anon]

Hermit: Mumbo Jumbo

Quote: “If I forget, slap me. With a cold, vegan fishcake”

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Mumbo is best known for his eccentric redstone creations. He’s sometimes too ambitious for his own good – his ideas blow up in his face at the worst possible moments. He’s got a lovable awkward energy and strange, extremely British mannerisms.

Hermit: GoodTimesWithScar

Quote: “A laugh is worth far more than a diamond.”

Flags: USA

Description: Scar’s building skills and storytelling will make believe in magic and want to see what he’ll do next. Scar can pull pranks and act the villain as good as anyone else on Hermitcraft, but no matter what role Scar is playing, you will have a good time. He’s banned from Canada, so he banned the nation of Canada from his theme park.

Scar IRL has a chronic disease that he’s very open about, and uses a wheelchair. Check out his day in the life videos!

[Description provided by anon]

Hermit: Rendog

Quote: “Have a lovely day warmbloods, I’m off to sharpen my bones.”

Flags: United Kingdom, South Africa

Description: Ren is the hermit most likely to jump in to some over-the-top storytelling, mixing it with his regular content for some impressive arcs. He’s played a lot of roles, from mind-controlled business tycoon to time travelling hippie.

Hermit: StressMonster101

Quote: “Come and chase me boys! I’m going to murder you!”

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Stress is known for describing everything she loves as “gorgeous!” It’s definitely her catchphrase.

She uses a lot of pink and purple, and loves bright fantasy aesthetics. She’s closest with Iskall, who she will bother at every opportunity.

Hermit: Tango Tek

Quote: “Would I put a tu-tu on my Fifi? Come on!”

Flags: USA

Description: Tango is the creator of the in-Minecraft minigame Decked-Out, which everyone on the server is obsessed with. He’s a lover of all things dramatic and explosive. Tango is hungry for feedback and improvement, and values honesty about his work. World's best minigame creator and world's worst minigame player. Master of making strange noises.

[Desciption provided by sudden-memory-loss]

Hermit: VintageBeef

Quote: “I respectfully decline your creepy ways.”

Flags: Canada

Description: Beef is the most enthusiastic user of the mechanic that allows players to make massive builds into tiny map-based pixel art. He uses this for a lot of different purposes, from wallpaper to custom card games. It takes a lot of dedication, which he has in spades. He's oblivious in the best way possible. He’s walking in circles, he’s misplacing items, he’s having fun.

[Description provided by two anonymous contributors]

Hermit: WelsKnight

Quote: “I’ve got a fever and the only prescription is trading card games.”

Flags: USA

Description: As his name suggests, Wels (knight) has a strong interest in medieval aesthetics, which he uses heavily in his builds. He’s also recorded sea shanties. Former paralegal and court reporter for the US army.

Hermit: xBCrafted

Quote: “Awwww yeah!”

Flags: USA

Description: xB posts often, about two or three times a week. His videos always go over his thought process a lot more than anyone else. His builds have a strong focus on environmental storytelling.

Hermit: XisumaVoid

Quote: “I’ve got derp on the mind”

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Xisuma tends to pick a theme for his big projects and always wears a matching costume. He describes himself as a big derp, and no one agrees on how to pronounce his name.

He doesn’t reset his episode number each season, so he’ll be starting season 10 with episode #1128! Xisuma is the server’s admin, which is a big responsibility without the powertrip due to the Hermits’ commitment to group decision making.

Hermit: ZombieCleo

Quote: "I'll break you legs"

Flags: United Kingdom, Bisexual. Cleo uses She/They pronouns, but I do not know if they identify as nonbinary.

Description: Cleo enjoys detail work, being the number-one user of the posable armour stand tweak, which she uses to make dioramas and statues. They have a rather dry, mature sense of humour. Formerly a schoolteacher. Cleo is close friends with Joe, and the two regularly stream activities such as crafting together

Hermit: Zedaph Plays

Quote: “Is this a bad idea? Yes. Am I gonna do it anyway? Yes.”

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Focuses more on making his own fun than on traditional builds. Zedaph is the human embodiment of an explosion happening in another room and hearing someone yell out "it's fine!". A very polite and confusing mad scientist. He does the wildest things just because he can. His editing style is fun and creative, featuring stop-motion montages.

[Description provided by sudden-memory-loss and anon]

New hermits:

Hermit: Smallishbeans

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Joel is a masterful builder and intimidating fighter. Has very sarcastic deadpan humour. He likes to bully everyone affectionately. Married to fellow MCYTber LDshadowlady (Lizzie)

Hermit: Skizzleman

Flags: USA

Description: Skizz is a beacon of positivity and energy. Strong dad energy. He and Impulse have been friends for more than 25 years. Forms a lot of acronym groups with the Hermits (ZITS, GIGS) and comes up with nicknames for everyone

_

In Loving Memory of

Hermit: Tinfoil Chef

Flags: USA

Description:

A beloved member of Hermitcraft since season 2, TFC passed in 2022.

“Five blocks at a time…

Punctuated with a torch…

Five more once again…

TinfoilChef worked at his own

speed, in his own way…

May we all remember him

in our own ways by striving…

to live unhurried by unwarranted comparisons to those around

and bring joy to others

making the art we want to create.”

[Poem by an anonymous Hermit, likely Joe]

Thank you for reading!

[cattimeswithjellie]

A Brief History of the Tunnel Bore War

As is the case with many ongoing storylines in Hermitcraft, especially the wars, it can be hard to keep up with what all has happened and keeps happening, especially if you don't watch many hermits. Here's a brief synopsis of the escalations and shenanigans that have led to the current point of the Tunnel Bore War (also called Prank War 2.0 or the Barnyard Brawl)

Grian, Scar, Mumbo and Doc are all neighbors on the Hermitcraft Season 9 server. Grian has a floating-rock structure called The Rock, Mumbo builds The Vault, Scar builds a whole amusement park called Scarland, and Doc uses a world-eater to create a massive hole to bedrock called The Perimeter. Other Hermits are also nearby, but they are less involved in current events.

Grian and Scar make themselves pesky to Doc throughout the early part of the season, mostly small but irritating things like stealing copper from the walls of the Perimeter and using the bedrock floor to spawn mobs that leave holes behind.

Doc responds with impressively overengineered contraptions like a cannon that shoots charged creepers at Grian's base and an arrow that can blow through netherite armor and kill Scar in one hit. He also creates a walking machine that can move along the side of the Perimeter and lob TNT towards his neighbors, but does not deploy it. Doc mentions that he is purposefully avoiding putting creepers in Scarland because he is a huge fan of Scar's design work and doesn't think Scar could successfully handle charged creepers (which is demonstrably true).

While being heckled by Gem, Impulse and Scar to build the back of his base, Grian convinces Scar to play hooky and go visit the new massive tunnel borer that Doc has built in the Perimeter. After several successful uses, they both hit the ignition button at the same time and destroy the entire machine. After some initial panic, they try to apologize with a pile of diamond blocks (something Doc super-duper does not need) along with a box of Scarland merchandise, some fairly good TCG cards, and one of Grian's duped dragon eggs.

Doc retaliates for the loss of his tunnel bore in his usual manner, by breaking Minecraft in impressive ways using crazy redstone machines. He parks dozens of wither skull bullets above Scarland and turns Grian's nether portal sideways and only one block tall. He creates a massive sign in the Perimeter forbidding Grian and Scar from entering.

Grian leads Zedaph on a quest to prove that Zedaph is worthy to possess a duped dragon egg. The first trial of the quest is to explode a block of TNT in a little-used portion of Doc's base, revealing a clue hidden behind a wall. Zedaph follows instructions and does so, and neither he nor Grian clean up the mess afterwards.

Doc, after using a redstone and ender-pearl based teleportation device to camp the button and collect all three of Mumbo's friendship crowns, uses the purple crown to set a trap for Grian. He places a TNT cannon below Mumbo's base and rigs it to shoot when a zombie wearing the purple crown is killed. Grian kills the zombie and retrieves the crown, but the cannon blows a hole through the redstone door of The Vault and destroys it. Most of The Vault is undamaged, but Mumbo does briefly convince Grian that the prank blew up his entire base, causing Grian to burn the friendship crown in shame.

Grian and Scar don their disguises as Poultryman and Hotguy to descend into the Perimeter and build an enormous chicken-making machine. Through significant AFKing and leading chickens around with seeds, they fill a substantial portion of the Perimeter with 6k-10k chickens and many more eggs. As collateral damage, their activities break the chunk loader that holds Doc's dragon pet in position and allow it to move far away from its usual position. Doc recruits Zedaph to help clean up chickens to repay him for his part in the earlier base damage, and he recruits Ren because he is bored and likes to chase chickens.

During the cleanup process, Doc builds a nether portal link between his base and Grian's base, relocating a few thousand chickens into Grian's base.

Grian recruits Scar and Mumbo into an alliance to keep an eye on the "aggressions" of their neighbor. They call themselves The Buttercups, a plant that is poisonous to goats, and build an adorable encampment on the edge of the Perimeter to keep an eye on things. They are briefly derailed when Scar and Mumbo realize they can /kick Grian by dropping any gravity block in his vicinity, but the alliance holds together.

Doc builds an automated dragon-egg duper capable of dispensing 112k dragon eggs per hour and collects tens of thousands of dragon eggs. With Ren's extremely enthusiastic help, he places thousands of duped dragon eggs in and around The Buttercups' bases, especially in Scarland.

So that's where things stand as of now, July 7! I'm sure I've probably missed some things, feel free to shout them out for me! We can only wait and see how big and horrifying things get from here...

[kayawolfhorse]

Everything You Thought You Knew | Read on Ao3

—☾—

The moon’s big.

Really big, in fact. Its edges encompass and stretch beyond what’s possible to carve out of the observatory’s dome roof without cutting into the wall that supports it, and while being crushed by a ginormous moon isn’t Grian’s choice of death, he might prefer being buried in rubble even less.

Well, that’s not quite true. If it were only the observatory to collapse, the rest of the world would go on as usual, and Grian would respawn and laugh over a silly death with the silly friends that he calls his family. Just about anything is preferable to death by the big moon, anyway.

By Grian’s unscientific calculations—and unscientific they are, if one wants scientific they ought to approach Cub—the moon is going to crash into and destroy the server in its entirety tomorrow night. That puts just about twenty four hours on a particularly gruesome clock hanging over their heads. Grian doesn’t wear a watch, but Impulse, he knows, does. Grian wonders if Impulse feels their impending doom with every tick against the pulse of his wrist.

There’s no reason for Grian to linger; the observatory’s usefulness outlived. The etches on the ceiling have no new information to give him, and it’s been a long time since he’s needed the telescope to make out details upon the moon’s surface.

Taking flight, Grian beats his wings and tries to feel some semblance of control over the floaty feeling that grabs hold of him in the current bout of gravity-weirdness. And the sound. Grian’s half-tempted to plug his ears against it. The terrible groan and crash of the earth tearing itself apart holds a sort of building crescendo to it; this is far from the worst it can get.

Even so close to the end of the world, even as blocks of the natural terrain are lifted upwards and dropped back into place beneath the ever-looming moon, Boatem is beautiful, and Grian can’t help but admire it as a wave of affection washes over him. An entire rainbow of build styles and personal touches create a vibrant conglomerate full of life and love, its chaos harmonious in its own way. He’s proud of what he’s made this season, what they’ve all made.

Down below, in front of her starter boat, Grian spots Pearl, swerving to avoid a levitating block while balancing a stack of shulker boxes in her arms, only her fluffy antennae visible above them. Swooping down, Grian lands in front of her and jumps up to relieve her of two of her boxes.

Peeking around a grey shulker, Pearl smiles when she catches sight of him. “Oh, hey, Grian!”

“Hi, Pearl,” Grian greets back, and is surprised to find his voice so tight. “Moon’s big.”

“Really? Hadn’t noticed.” Pearl’s banterous sarcasm doesn’t often fail to lift Grian’s mood, an opportunity to trade a quip of his own and laugh together as their conversation grows more ridiculous, but it does now, and Pearl notices, her smile tipping downwards as she places the boxes at her feet.

Pearl isn’t one to prompt, not like how Scar and Mumbo tend to when someone’s upset. She stands and she waits, and it doesn’t take long for Grian to say, “The world’s ending tomorrow.”

“I know.” She does, everyone does. The entire server can feel the tension breathing down their necks.

“I don’t know if there will be any survivors.” This isn’t like jumping into the Boatem hole or flying into a wall too hard or dueling with a friend. The server protects the hermits; softens the pain of dying and negates the permanence of it. If the server itself is what’s being killed? Grian doesn’t know.

“There will be. We’ll find a way.” Pearl’s looking at him, her expression determined, but the fear that squeezes Grian’s chest is reflected in her ocean-blue eyes.

“How can you promise that, Pearl?” Grian thinks he might sound like he’s pleading, but his voice is tinny within his own ears. “I’m sorry, this isn’t how it was meant to go, this is your first season and it’s ending like this—”

Grian’s head is eased into Pearl’s shoulder, and arms wrap around his middle. Her starry pajama shirt is soft against his face as he presses into it, soaking up as much of Pearl’s solid warmth as he can.

“I’m going to call a meeting,” Pearl says from above him.

“In the Boatem hole?” Grian asks. He’s not sure they have the time to set up another meeting room, nor if it matters at all.

Pearl pauses. “…No. In my base. My mega one. I just finished the interior. It’s very cozy, you know.”

The arms around Grian tense slightly as Pearl types into her communicator, messaging the other three members of their little group. Grian knows the message has been received when the communicator vibrates thrice against his back, assumedly from confirmations of assent.

Pearl hums and holds Grian a bit closer, and Grian squeezes back with all he has.

—☾—

The interior is cozy. Despite the white walls and high ceilings, Pearl’s added enough warmly colored carpets, potted plants, and wooden accents that the inside of her lighthouse palace feels wonderfully welcoming. Grian could definitely stand to live here forever.

Not that forever is a term he can longer afford in this doomed world.

Soft murmuring floats from the room beyond the entryway, and Pearl and Grian step into it to find Scar, Impulse, and Mumbo settled on the large, curved living room couch, talking quietly amongst themselves. Boatem is a lot of things, but quiet isn’t one of them. The moon doesn’t weigh on Grian’s mind alone.

“Hey, gang.” Grian raises a hand in a wave as three heads turn towards him and Pearl.

Impulse grins, but it’s strained around the edges. “Hey, guys! Great to see you.” Grian saw Impulse last about three hours ago. Still, he agrees—it is nice to see them. The knot of anxiety in his chest loosens ever so slightly.

Once Grian and Pearl have settled onto the couch with the rest of them, Pearl hugging her knees between Impulse and Mumbo and Grian leaning on Scar, Mumbo asks, “So, Pearl, what’s the meeting for?”

Grian expects her to propose an escape route, or go over the grim inevitabilities of the day to come, and from the look on everyone else’s faces, so do they, but instead Pearl says, “You’re all invited to my sleepover! Happening right here, right now.”

“A sleepover?” Impulse asks, incredulous. The purple of his bowtie makes the circles under his eyes appear darker. They’d all given up this Mooner business a couple days ago, when it was apparent that nothing would change for it, but the lack of sleep had yet to leave most of their faces.

Pearl shrugs. “The moon’s going to crash into the world tomorrow night. Might as well enjoy the last good one we have, right? Cousin or not, I’m not going to sit around and let it ruin a night that could be spent with friends.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Mumbo says. “If anything, it’s another night of rest.”

“Tactical sleeping, I like it!” Scar’s eyes aren’t marred by darkness. Grian silently harrumphs at this.

“Not just sleeping!” Pearl laughs. Quieter, she adds, “I was thinking we could grab snacks and watch a movie, or something.” A distraction, and something to drown out the awful noises outside.

“A movie sounds good,” Grian says. Anything to stop hearing the world falling apart beyond Pearl’s arched windows.

Impulse and Pearl move to set it up, Pearl crouching in front of the cabinet the movie collection is stored in, Impulse fiddling with the remote, while Mumbo and Scar raid the pantry and Grian stacks extra pillows and blankets on the couch.

After deciding on one, Pearl hands the movie disk to Impulse, who slides it into its player beneath the television and presses play. The screen remains dark and silent. Grian can see his reflection within its glassy surface. He looks terrible.

“Ah.” Impulse heaves a sigh that floats upon something heavier. “Of course it’d affect all of the redstone; all of my overworld farms have stopped working, too.”

This is news to Grian, whose most complicated farm this season had been a couple beehives in front of dispensers with shears, and he hasn’t checked that thing in ages.

Pearl rocks back on her heels. “Well, that’s a bust, then. Why the redstone?”

Impulse shrugs. “Beyond me. Guess there’s no precedent for all of this; anything goes.”

“At least it’s only the redstone—imagine if it would’ve done something like sponge up all the water or blow out all of the torches!”

In unison, all three of them glance up at the lanterns hanging above the couch.

“That would’ve been hilarious,” Grian admits, after the lanterns remain unsurprisingly unchanged. Impulse and Pearl nod their agreement.

They share the news with Mumbo and Scar, who return with an armload of candy courtesy of Impulse’s factory, potatoes Pearl had sliced and fries into chips, and whatever other junk food they’d managed to find.

Looking utterly perplexed, Mumbo says, “That explains why my door stopped working. Ran straight into it the other day and died!”

“Oh, redstone, you frackle thing,” Scar muses in sympathy with Impulse and Mumbo, nodding solemnly.

“Frackle—? Fickle. Fickle thing, Scar,” Grian corrects, shaking his head, but the corners of his mouth lift in a way they hadn’t all night.

“Of course, of course,” Scar agrees and smiles back, and a bit more of the burden nestled next to Grian’s heart dissipates.

“Failing a movie,” Impulse ventures, after a moment, “What could we do?”

After a brief trip back to their own bases to change into proper pajamas, a nest is made on the couch and the snacks are piled onto the table in front of it, soft light from the lanterns illuminating the tired faces of the Boatem crew from where they sit around the curve of the sofa. Even as the end of the world roars outside, conversation comes to them easily, and naturally turns to reminiscing on the season they’ve lived.

Mumbo tells stories of end crystals and terraforming, of potatoes and the time he briefly spent moonlighting as a vigilante that quickly fell apart with no real laws to uphold. Impulse recounts a narrative of magic pigs and candy shards, the road to perfecting the server’s best candy bar and the joy of sharing it with friends. Pearl speaks of llamas, clock heists, magic pumpkins, and the instances completely unrelated to her in which all of the animals were mysteriously turned upside down.

Scar weaves a tale of fantastic sales owed to his patented traveling Swaggon. “Everyone loves the Swaggon!” he proclaims, after sharing a deal that, if it were offered by anyone else, would have never been accepted.

“Everyone loves you, Scar, which is how you got away with that one,” Mumbo says with a laugh. The rest of the group laughs with him, and Scar waves a bashful hand.

When the attention falls to Grian, he talks about the G-Train and the Midnight Alley and the lengths he went through to collect mobs for the Magical Menagerie, charged creeper shenanigans with Scar included. He talks about pretend-sleep adventures and mini-games and everything in between.

Most of all, Grian talks about Boatem. From the first stacking of the Boatem pole, to the many Boatem hole-related antics, to the chaos of every meeting and prank, the Boatem crew has become family, as the village has become home.

“I’m gonna miss it,” Impulse says.

“It was all really fun.” Scar smiles, and the corners of his eyes are crinkled with sadness-tinged fondness.

“Now, don’t be saying that like a goodbye, mate,” Pearl says, and her voice is crinkled with it, too.

“It’s not a goodbye to us,” Scar clarifies. “Boatem will live on forever. We’ll all find each other again in that great, big, beautiful tomorrow.”

“Promise?” Grian asks.

“Promise.”

—☾—

Morning drags forward after a night of cuddled rest. Grian’s the second awake, beaten only by Pearl, who stands with her hands braced around a mug at the kitchen counter, looking out across nothing.

“The world’s to end today,” Grian says.

“Yeah, I know,” she responds. “Coffee?”

(They make it, in the void following the end. On another world, an alchemist, an elf, an alien, a dwarf, and the server’s richest man huddle together atop a nest of blankets within a giant mushroom the alien calls home. Laughter dances in the air around them as stories and snacks alike are swapped between them, catching up on what this world has become beneath their hands. The moon hangs high and small above them, a beautiful cloudless night. The world carries on as usual. The Boatem crew is safe.)

[lilacsandlillies]

The Beginning

Grian’s always had a taste for destruction. It was just a thing.

Usually property damage was enough to satisfy him. A TNT explosion here or there. Maybe a small fire. An end crystal if he was feeling particularly restless.

Other times living things were the only thing to satisfy his… Not bloodlust, he didn’t crave death per se. He just, he needed to see someone or something destroyed. Destruction-lust?

Grian’s really thankful for the endless lives of the hermitcraft server. Makes him feel much less guilty about killing his friends.

Unfortunately for them all, any “destruction-lust” Grian may feel is multiplied tenfold in the life games.

Suddenly a small TNT explosion was a whole desert rigged to blow.

A small fire turned into entire bases burned to the ground.

And a little bloodlust was tuned into the itching need to see everyone around him dead.

Everyone was bloodthirsty in the life series but Grian was a noticeable outlier. The only person to ever kill on green without being threatened or a boogeyman.

It wasn’t until his first run in with a wither that he really understood what he was, why he felt like this.

When he got that first wither skull, back on last life, the need was instant. The need to set off a wither, see what kind of destruction could truly be caused.

One could only imagine how disappointed he was when Etho killed it.

Grian forgot about the whole fiasco, mostly, after last life. As the seasons got friendlier, and the people got friendlier with them, Grian had no choice but to follow the trend.

Then secret life came along.

Then he rolled his first hard task.

Spawn a Wither and make it fight Etho’s Warden.

A Wither.

Destruction incarnate. Pure chaos. They kill every living thing around them, indiscriminate violence. Like Grian.

It was meant to be. Quite literally. A Wither on the life server.

All he had to do was make it.

After meeting with Etho, he knew exactly what he had to do.

The trip to the nether was exactly what he expected. A disaster.

Grian didn’t exactly know why Mumbo had decided to be his butler. But he wasn’t exactly against it.

Much like how he wasn’t quite sure how Mumbo had gotten himself killed. (But he wasn’t really against it.)

The process of getting the skulls should’ve been easy. He had enough experience to know how to avoid getting killed.

He just hadn’t anticipated the blazes.

Having a single half heart was a terrible experience. Grian was pretty sure he would die here, surrounded by the wither skulls he so desperately wanted and needed.

It was a miracle he survived. And pure luck he hadn’t died on the journey back.

After getting the skulls, hurt and close to death, it was almost comforting having the deadly head of the wither on him. Like a blanket of safety where Grian should’ve been filled with nothing but fear.

It was a crying shame to have to take it off. Still, you do what you must.

No need to have the server know what he and Etho were going to do before it was done.

Grian decided to help Etho bring the warden up. It would make this all go a lot quicker. And anyway, they were allies.

So he went down to the deep dark. Helped Etho make his path. Helped him make his noise machine. Helped him set the shrieker.

Watching Etho spawn the warden was a little terrifying. But the knowledge of what they were about to set on the server made it all worth it. The fight will be legendary.

And Grian was sure the wither would win.

He ran from underground ahead of Etho, the angry warden chasing behind.

It was funny. Talking to people as they stood completely unaware of the warden on the surface. Of the wither in Grian’s pocket.

Scar sat and chatted with him as it was any other day. It was only when he saw it, the monster chasing behind Etho, that he started to panic.

Once everyone had seen the warden, as they ran in fear, Grian knew that it was the time.

The screams that surrounded him as he summoned the wither did nothing to deter him. If anything, their screams of terror egged him on. As if they were joyfully cheering and not yelling in fear.

Even the red names ran for their lives.

As the server fell into chaos, trying to kill his and Etho’s creations, even he felt fear.

The monsters chased, uninterested in each other. That was a problem.

Grian watched as Etho attempted to bring his Warden to the Wither. As Scar ran from the wither chasing him.

Jimmy and Mumbo died. (The server breathed a sigh of relief.)

Eventually, Etho managed to get them together. Logged out to save himself.

Then it began. They fought, the Warden and the Wither, and the Wither won, just as Grian thought it would.

After the monsters fought, the Warden dead and gone, Grian gazed upon what he had done.

He watched and he realized.

The server would end if they let that monster go unchecked. And it was much too early for that.

So he did it. He tried to kill it. His wither.

Then he realized that he had won.

Grian ran for the button, determined to win back his hearts. Most of the red lives were dead, (the same first three as last life) his task was complete. He was golden.

He was at the button. He hit it and-

Time was frozen. Everything was pain.

Grian was shot by a skull from 1 Stick Wither.

The wither killed him as he hit the button.

Success had never tasted so bitterly.

He was yellow, and all because of a monster of his own creation. A monster that may as well have been him.

The middle?

Etho‘s been around a long time. Longer than many, many things in this world.

It’s exciting, seeing how life changes.

New things at every turn. Things to explore, things to learn. New things to take apart.

It’s a joy like no other to rip into something new and see what makes it tick.

New redstone, biomes, friends. Each a new enigma, a new mystery to figure out.

Some people are scared of him. It’s natural of course, to fear something so ancient, so other.

There really is no creature quite like Etho.

At least there wasn’t. Then the warden was discovered.

Something new, certainly. Nothing had ever been seen like it before. Complete with new blocks, a new biome, new mechanics to pick apart.

But there was something so undeniably old about it. Something so ancient, so unknowable.

It was dangerous, sure, but also so unbelievably docile. Never had Etho met a hostile creature that simply left when it was no longer angered. Most stayed, like dangerous little pests.

It was strangely docile, for such a dangerous foe. Yet one that had a reason.

A creature that killed to maintain the silence. A monster that killed to protect its home.

Etho found wardens as fascinating as they were terrifying.

When tango and jimmy brought one up during double life, Etho was just as scared as the next guy. He’d been in the deep dark, he knew how dangerous they were. And the ranchers brought one up, kept it from leaving, and set it loose.

Still, the life server moved on. And Etho moved with it.

Secret life was a strange new addition to the series. More wacky than the seasons before. It fit Etho just fine.

Most of his tasks were fun. Nice little challenges. Then came the fifth session.

His task was hard enough. Add that to trying to get rid of Pearl’s book. He was doomed either way.

Knowing that he had to reroll was terrifying.

Getting his new task, knowing he had to not only bring a warden up, but make it fight Grian’s wither where everyone could see. He should’ve been terrified.

Etho was excited. This would be a fight for the history books.

The server was a little too calm for Ethos’s tastes anyway.

So as Grian went off to get his skulls, Etho started collecting the resources he would need to make this work.

He just had to hope that Grian could do his part. His getting trapped in the nether wasn’t inspiring much confidence.

Grian was his ally. He would just have to trust him.

It would certainly be a new experience to try and lure a warden. Tango and Impulse had done so before, sure, but it was always fun to try new things for yourself.

The terror. The novelty. The sheer nerves. It was exhilarating just thinking about it.

The warden was exhilarating.

There were a lot of moving parts to luring a warden. A noise machine to distract it, a bubble elevator to move it up, a name tag to make sure it doesn’t disappear. Not to mention actually spawning the warden.

After making part of the path and elevator, Etho met back up with Grian. He would need help to make sure that this went right.

Grian came back from the nether as damaged as ever.

Grian’s on half a heart. Nothing can ever just go right, can it. Still, they had what they needed from the nether. And if all goes well, neither of them would be taking damage from the warden.

Etho gave Grian a heart though, just to be extra careful. They were in this together.

Grian’s presence made everything much easier. Even if he was purposely making things more tense. Those note blocks were terrifying.

Lizzie dies as they’re preparing. It feels like an omen for the chaos to come. It feels like a warning.

Grian was sure that the wither would win the fight. Etho wasn’t so sure.

The wither was old. Tired and horrifically known. Etho would put his money on the warden any day, but it really wasn’t worth the fight. Not with Grian, stubborn as he is.

They worked on the path, dedicated and quiet. The moments leading up to spawning the warden were terrifying.

He broke the wool covering the shrieker, shaking. Whether it was from nerves or excitement, Etho couldn’t tell you.

He made noise, and set the shrieker off. Once. Twice. And one final third time.

Nothing happened. Etho yelled up to Grian, confused.

The warden spawned behind him

Etho ran as fast as possible to get away. He may have been excited for this fight, but he wouldn’t die for it.

He ran up, name tagging the warden as he went. Ethos’s Dishwasher. That was sure to make some really funny death messages.

He went through the bubble elevator, hearing the warden roar in rage behind him. He was blind as a bat thanks to the darkness effect, but it was fine. He knew where he was going.

Unluckily for Etho, the warden got stuck. It was up to him to manually lure him up to the surface.

He got so close he could almost touch it.

The darkness encroached over Etho’s vision like moss over stone.

Etho ran through the server, warden chasing after him and Grian up ahead. He kept running until they got near the secret keeper, so everyone could see what they had done.

Being chased by a Warden was terrifying like nothing else. It was a wonder like nothing else.

Nothing but the fear in everyone’s eyes as they realized what Etho unleashed.

Grian unleashes the Wither just as the Warden reaches everyone. The chaos is immediate.

Etho really doesn’t know what the red names were thinking being so close to two monsters. It really was their fault when they died.

It’s surprisingly hard to make them fight once both are spawned. They seemed much more concerned with trying to kill all the players.

(Logging out next to both of them may have been a little unfair, but you do what you have to do.)

As Etho watched the wither hover over the warden, he knew the fight was over. The warden wouldn’t be able to hit it.

Then, just as the wither killed the warden Grian, wonderfully stupid Grian, shot it.

Etho couldn’t help but feel bad when Grian died. He was so close to the button, so close to winning.

When the entire server came together to kill the wither, Etho felt proud like nothing else.

Nothing of course, except the feeling of hitting the success button.

The Warden may have lost the fight, but in the end Etho was the real winner.

The End

Gem’s always felt a sort of kinship with animals.

The cute and fuzzy, the small and buzzy, the huge and horrifying.

These games may be new to her, but the people, the plants, the animals, they’re all things she’s known forever.

She starts this game with a task. Make someone take a leap of faith.

It was surprisingly easy to get the people on the server to do what she wanted. She’s always been something of a shepherd.

The world moves on. She makes friends, a home, a sweet little trio of cottages surrounded by cherry trees, farms, and animals.

Their home becomes something of a safe haven for animals actually.

The people of this world, her friends, they all seem a little scared of her. She knows why, she knows that they don’t have anything to truly fear.

Not yet anyway.

Then she makes a mistake.

She knew that the task seemed too easy. She should’ve read it more carefully. But she turned it in and now she’s gotta roll a hard task.

Open the end portal. Oh dear.

At least today would be interesting.

Gem’s never been scared of the end per se, but she can see the danger in it. Especially in a world like this.

But then she realizes that she doesn’t actually have to go into the end, she doesn’t have to kill any dragon. (How she would hate to kill the dragon.)

She just has to open it. Make it an option for any player to take.

Thankfully she already planned to go to the nether this session. She through the nether portal, and Scott comes with her, the kind soul that he is.

First they kill a couple of endermen. She brought wood for boats, and the warped forest is filled with endermen. She gets the pearls she needs easily.

Finding the Bastion is a journey, but they find it with little issue. Then they get there.

Blazes are dangerous.

It’d be easier if they had fire resistance potions, but they don’t. The fire eats away at her health.

It’s hard to convince Scott to stay. He loses just as much to the blazes as she does. And unlike her, he doesn’t have a hard task looming over him convincing him to stay.

They decide to leave, regroup. She has gold, and they left a piglin in a boat way back when.

They get lucky. Not only can they restock on arrows, they get fire resistance potions.

The fire resistance makes everything easier. Fire resistance plus shield means the blazes can’t really damage them any more. She gets what she needs and then some.

They make their way out the nether feeling great. She got what she needed, and they didn’t even lose that much health.

The blazes are dangerous, and endermen even more so. She was so close.

Gem dies. She’s a yellow. Gem’s wearing a pumpkin from now on.

But.

She’d only lose more hearts if she hit fail. She was too close to quit now.

She has what she needs. Now she just needs to find the portal.

It’s a little more difficult than she had hoped, but she does it. She finds the portal.

It’s perfect. There’s only one eye missing. All she has to do is put it in.

She can go to the end now.

She doesn’t.

She leaves the portal, loots the stronghold, and makes her way up.

She completed her task.

When Gem gets back to the surface everyone looks at her strangely. Apparently they all thought she was going to kill the dragon.

As if.

She turns her task in, gets back to full hearts, and gets some goodies as a bonus.

The next day she fails her next task immediately. Really, Gem doesn’t know how a normal task could be so obviously impossible.

Throughout the day people comment that she looks different. Threatening some might say. She thinks she looks just fine.

She decides to gear up. She’s already on her yellow life, and actual diamond gear will make sure she doesn’t reach red.

It’s strange. Being a yellow. She’s used to people being scared of her, but never so openly. She hasn’t even really threatened anyone!

It’s okay though. She can use this to her advantage. It’s much easier getting what she wants when people are terrified of getting on her bad side.

She gets the gear she needs, and she feels better than ever. Protected, strong.

Afterwards she decides to just wander. She’s a yellow now, might as well be a bit of a menace.

As she’s wandering and talking to people she can’t help but think.

Everyone on the server thought she would kill the dragon last session. Gem can imagine the surprise when she just left it.

Bdubs asks her if she’s thinking about finishing the job. Killing the ender dragon herself. When she says that she’s not, she’s telling the truth.

No part of her wants to go into the end and kill the dragon. That doesn’t mean someone else shouldn’t try.

That is to say, no one’s actually gone into the end yet. Gem thinks it’s time to change that.

So Gem does.

“Pearl, you want to fight the dragon.”

Pearls on green. She’s brave, and more importantly, a threat. She’s won these games before. The two of them may be friends but Gem needs an advantage any way she can get one.

And having one of the biggest threats on the server fight the dragon. Even if it somehow doesn’t kill her, she’ll lose health.

When Pearl hesitates, Impulse agrees. Heck, he volunteers to go with her. Though he seems to misunderstand that Gem’s not going in.

She’ll supply them, sure. They’ll need arrows and pumpkins.

She’ll encourage them, definitely. She’s sure they can do it.

And, most importantly, she’ll recruit more players to go in with them.

Bdubs goes as easily as impulse did.

It’s almost too easy to convince people to go to the end. You’d think people who have played these games would be more cautious, more careful with their lives.

They’re blinded. By the xp, the achievement. The ability to say, we did it. We fought the dragon.

They go, like sweet little lambs, straight to end. Someone will end up dead. Gem knows it. Meanwhile she sits happily in the overworld, getting stronger and safer and much more dangerous than any of them truly realize.

More people go in. Martyn and Jimmy. Scott and Lizzie.

More people willing to lose their lives for basically nothing.

Gem isn’t surprised when Martyn dies. She isn’t shocked or saddened when Jimmy dies as well.

She’s proud of Bdubs though. Gem was sure he was gonna die.

The only death Gem feels any real grief for is the dragon’s. And she’s only really shocked that it didn’t kill more people. (She could’ve killed more people with her bare hands.)

It’s okay though. It’s still early.

And really, the dragon did her job. There are two reds now. Things are sure to get a little more interesting.

And if it doesn’t. If the “Big Dogs” fail. Well, Gem will have to do it herself.

It wouldn’t be the first time she got blood on her hands.

[ladyevol]

I think that there is a pretty clear difference between last life Scar and Secret Life Scar. In Last Life, Scar's one alliance (Joel) was immediately forced away from him due to the rules imposed by that reds could only ally themselves with reds. So while Joel was off planning his villainy, Scar was left alone by the greens and yellows of the server. The main difference being *no one wanted to be allied with Scar.* Adding to the fact was how in LL Scar was seeing as someone who died easily, thus making him seem less like a threat and more like a burden. People would also use Scar constantly, forcing him to give them his lives. Scar seemed to be also particularly keen on teaming up with Grian and Mumbo's team which ultimately cost him a life.

In Secret Life, things are quite different. For starters, while Scar is still known for dying, he is also known for killing and destroying in general as well as his ability to manipulate people. He is certainly a lot more respected in SL. No, the reason why Scar ends up alone in SL isn't because he is shunned by the server. It is his own hubris. The Heart Foundation spent an entire episode trying to get Scar to join them to scam other people. Mumbo was hanging around him quite frequently, hell, even Grian, who originally loathed the idea of being allied with Scar was willing to partner up with him, but Scar refused (and yes, Ik that with Grian's case Scar was made to refuse by his task, but he didn't even try to go to him the following session.) Point is, Scar was more interested in building his own town and himself until it was too late and the whole server was already allied. Even in the 8th session, we see how Scar is still not willing to fully commit to anyone as he is first trying a partnership with Scott, then Pearl, then even Bdubs. Scar still doesn't fully want friends. He wants people who aren't going to kill him. Which is why, while yes, the secret keeper is certainly trying to make Scar a villain. When it comes to being alone, he somewhat sowed what he planted.

In truth, secret life feels almost like the successor to last life. He was originally so desperate for allies in that season and no one wanted to be with him, and now that people realized he was a threat, they tried to team up, but because he originally refused, he was ultimately villanized (you can say that the watchers and the secret keeper were the ones who villanized him due to his refusal to make meaningful bonds)

[floef-likes-everything]

Wingman

Large summer writing project alert! Well, not really as I've been working on this for a while, but now I have the time to finish it. The prologue is under the cut, and the entire fic will be uploaded to my ao3 over time :D

Summary: Grian hasn’t left the Hermitcraft Server since he joined. There was no reason, as everything he’d knew before it was destroyed because of his own poor decisions. So when some of the Hermits convinced him to come and support them in this competition they were about to compete in, Grian didn’t expect his past to catch up to him so quickly.

He definitely didn’t expect to become the wingman of his presumed dead friend.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to leave?” Mumbo was leaning on one of the various chest scattered around Grians mansion with a frown on his face. Grian, in the meantime, was gathering supplies for the short trip off the Hermitcraft Server.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” he asked in return. He had tried to hide the slight shake in his voice, the clear indication that he in fact was terrified of what he was about to do. He was however determined to go through with this crazy trip and Mumbo was not going to talk him out of it.

“Because you have no idea whether the Watchers are still after you,” Mumbo pressed. “I understand you need some space to get your creative fluids going again, but going off the Server might be a bit of a rash move.”

“Look, Mumbo, I really appreciate your concern,” Grian started as he lowered his backpack to look Mumbo straight in the eye. He really did and if this opportunity had arisen a few weeks ago he’d probably have listened to Mumbo. Grian started to feel burnt out on the gigantic project that was the mansion and he needed something else to do. He needed some new views and influences and when Ren had invited him to come watch him and some other Hermits in an event called the Championships he had agreed without giving it much thought.

“I’m going to be fine,” he continued. “Ren, Iskall, Cub and False are all going to be there, I’ll just watch whatever this Championship thing is and that will be it. I doubt the Watchers will take interest in an event like this. It sounds way to… chaotic for them.”

In fact, Grian had no idea whether or not the Watchers would enjoy something like this. They might as well do, but he didn’t want to think or worry about it. The Watchers rather disliked the chaos of larger Servers, they wanted everything to go according to their own plans. It was easy to influence a group of about ten Players, but much more than that would become unmanageable. If Grian remembered correctly from what Ren had told him, the event had 40 participants and a lot more Players who would watch.

“If you say so…” Mumbo mumbled, though he didn’t sound very reassured. Grian had of course offered that he could go with him, but Mumbo had kindly denied that offer. He didn’t do well in crowds, he’d said.

“I do,” Grian said as he put his sword and axe away in his enderchest. He imagined that the organizers of the event wouldn’t appreciate it if spectators took weapons with them. “I’ll be fine, Mumbo, really. It’s been over two years now, they’ve found something else to spend their time on. They don’t have the patience to still want to go after me, they’ve dropped the subject.”

“You can’t know that for sure,” Mumbo tried once again. Whenever they had a conversation about the Watchers and Grian possibly leaving the Server, he would act like this. Sure, those conversations had only happened over the last couple of weeks but they had gotten more and more frequent.

“I – if they really wanted me, they would’ve come for me,” Grian said with confidence. “They are able to pass Xisuma’s defenses if they wanted to, trust me. But they haven’t, so I’m not interesting enough for them anymore.”

If the Watchers still wanted him, they would’ve come for him months ago. He knew Xisuma’s defenses on this particular Server were one of the best but he had never personally dealt with Watchers before, not that Grian knew of at least. He was surprised that Xisuma knew of them at all when he finally opened up about his past to him, but he had never experienced them like Grian and his friends had.

“And if you don’t mind, I really should go now otherwise the gang will leave without me,” Grian said as he stuffed an extra stack of golden carrots in his inventory. He wasn’t sure if he would be provided with snacks during the watch along of this event so he wanted to come prepared. “I’ll be back before you know it, Ren said it’ll only take about two hours or something and I don’t plan to stay for the party afterwards. It’s not as if I know anybody there. I just want to… get out for a bit, alright?”

“Yeah, sure,” Mumbo said but he still didn’t seem happy about any of this. Grian felt selfish for leaving Mumbo behind, but sometimes he felt like he had to be. Mumbo only wanted to protect him, but this mansion and project were killing him.

“Great,” Grian pulled a smile on his face and unfurled his colorful wings. “In the slim chance that I don’t return, you’ll finish the back of the mansion for me, right?”

Before Mumbo could throw an insult at his face, Grian beat his wings to propel himself up into the air and away. It was a short flight back to the shopping district and it was a quiet one. The sun was already descending and the view he got of the middle island of the Server was wonderful. A shopping district was forming slowly but surely and Grian doubted if the mycelium island was even big enough. Hermitcraft was their life, tucked away in an almost invisible part of the universe. Every Hermit was the same in a way, yet so different. Everybody had found this group running away from something or searching for refugee and most didn’t leave after. They were a found family, though sometimes a bit of a dysfunctional one.

Four Hermits in similar green outfits were waiting for Grian near the central Nether Portal of the shopping district. Cub pointed as Grian came into view from behind one of the larger shops. Grian landed gracefully and tucked his wings behind his back before joining his friends.

“G-Man, are you ready for the best event in your lifetime?” Ren started, dramatic as ever, before Grian could even greet him. “You are going to want to join our team next time, I’m sure of it!”

“Good evening to you as well,” Grian said with a grin. “I just have to wait and see, I guess. You have to impress me by winning.”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” False said with a short laugh. “Players from all over participate in this Event, it’s quite the show-off of power to be fair. Some can get real sweaty over winning. Plus, we bring two newbies, so don’t expect us to win that easily.”

“Hey, Cub and I aren’t that terrible,” Iskall immediately said in a slightly offended tone. “We’ll show these people what we Hermits can do.”

“Hmm, yeah, just wait and see buddy,” was the answer from False, who didn’t sound to confident. “Are we ready to go?”

[quaranmine]

May I ask what is the Hgttg au? I can't seem to find it and/or I don't remember what it is

Absolutely! I don't have an official tag for it yet (or at least I don't remember it) but it's been an idea rattling around my head since at least 2022. It's a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy AU with Boatem. In the book, earth gets destroyed in the very beginning. Main character Arthur Dent learns that his friend Ford is an alien who's actually been stranded on earth this whole time, and they hitchhike off the planet just in time.

In this AU, the inciting event for everything is obviously moon big. Grian and Pearl are both siblings, and loosely full Ford's role as the resident aliens. They manage to figure out a way off the server and save Mumbo, Scar, and Impulse before the moon crashes. Mumbo is the main pov character, loosely filling Arthur's role as "confused man who is just along for the ride." (Though honestly every non-alien member of Boatem fills this role.)

This is where the concept...kind of diverges? And where it starts becoming clear that I am also a long-time Doctor Who fan, because this AU also has time travel! It's very wibbly-wobbly timey wimey in a way that has occasionally forced me to scrap ideas because, oh wait, I messed up the timeline again. So. Boatem survived moon big, but did anyone else? They get to see their entire planet horribly destroyed. It's incredibly apparent that everyone else on the planet has to be dead. But Grian is convinced he can fix this--with time travel. If they can go back in time and either prevent the moon from crashing, or evacuate everyone else in time, then all of this will be fixed. Don't panic! It'll all be fine!

They just...need to get a time machine, first. Also, avoid dying. Also, avoid getting arrested.

Grian and Pearl both have experience with time travel. They're actually from the future and got "stranded" on Hermitcraft some time ago (this is relevant), so they are not in possession of any form of time travel or space travel. I put stranded in quotes because they're quite frankly pretty happy to be there and not to keen on going home.

Anyway, it's like a space comedy story in a sort of mission/quest format. It should be...crack treated seriously? It will occasionally lean into a spot of angst (i.e. with all the hermits being dead) but should bounce back pretty fast. It is not a MCD story. The working title has been "the moon, and other misbehaving celestial bodies" and I first wrote it in 2022, and the rewrote that part at Thanksgiving last year. It's about 6700 words so far, two chapters. The premise is pretty much that they need to run around space in order to find what they need in order to time/space travel back to HC-8 and prevent moon big. Of course, it can't be that easy though...

[rainnorshinee]

boatem means so much to me actually

[raichett]

So, I’ve been thinking a fair bit recently about how the Hermitcraft servers, in-universe, actually function on a social and micro-cultural level. 

A list of real life facts:

1. They have unlimited respawns on Hermitcraft. Death is generally either funny or an inconvenience, and pranks resulting in death are very much allowed, even fairly common. Scar, for example, in his Hotguy persona, literally goes around and shoots people with his bow for fun (and it’s considered a little rude to not die if you’ve been Hotguy’d). 

2. Hermits are invite-only and it’s a rather exclusive server; if a (rare) guest is whitelisted, it is only temporary. Many new Hermits are suggested and supported by an already existing Hermit, and there is a phase where a potential new Hermit is researched before any invite is sent. Once you’ve received an invite, there’s no taking it back, and there’s no probationary period. Hermits (and potential Hermits) are not obliged to either accept nor to stay, however! Many former Hermits have left amiably, and some have even come back after missing a season or two, like Keralis.

3. When it comes to server-wide decisions, everyone has to agree or else it won’t happen. It’s quite literally all-or-nothing on Hermitcraft. And everyone has a say and everyone’s voice is weighed the same, no matter how long or short they’ve been there. 

4. Many Hermits are pioneers or big names in their field (Doc and Tango in redstone, Grian and Scar in building, etc.), or else have been around in MCYT circles for a long time (e.g. Etho and Xisuma). This is not true for every Hermit, but there is distinctly an element of this in the line-up as a whole. It is also very common for Hermits to ask for help/opinions from other Hermits whose specialities are different from their own.

5. Mega-builds and mega-projects are the norm on Hermitcraft. It’s generally expected for a Hermit to take months and months on creating a starter base, then a mega base, at least one shop, usually a mini-game or two for server-wide events, etcetera etcetera. Not every Hermit does this, or does this every season, but most do.

6. Hermitcraft has very, very few rules: griefing is allowed, stealing is allowed, etc. No, really! You can do just about anything on Hermitcraft - so long as you’re prepared to deal with the consequences, and to make reparations if you actually hurt someone’s feelings.

7. It does, however, work on what are called “gentleman’s rules”: that is, if you make a mess, you clean it up, basically. If you prank someone, expect a retaliatory prank, which you have to take in good humour. If you destroy (by accident or design) someone’s items or builds, you’re expected to replace/reimburse/help set it to rights. The entire Hermitcraft economy (the shopping district) works on an honesty box design. Good sportsmanship is the name of the game on Hermitcraft. In the words of Grian himself: “We prank hard, but we clean up harder.”

8. As touched on before, no one on Hermitcraft actually has authority over anyone else. Some people have admin access (Xisuma, Tango, Joe Hills, etc.) but everyone’s voice weighs the same, even if some people have stepped up to take the lead when it comes to the engineering minutiae of maintaining a very popular server.

9. Every Hermit in the current line-up (Season 9 at the time of writing this) is an adult. I can only think of one person who was not an adult when they joined Hermitcraft and that is Mumbo Jumbo, who was 16 or 17 at the time, I think. Most of these people have life experiences and careers before MCYT. Some of them have only recently ceased to be part-time youtubers/streamers and change to full time as they quit jobs to pursue it (e.g. Cleo, Impulse, etc.). 

So, what does all this mean in-universe? Well... 

- Death is temporary, and very little weight is assigned to it, save that if you kill someone for a prank, expect to be pranked fatally in return. There is very little angst to be mined here.

- The Hermits’ expectations of other Hermits generally boil down to “good sportsmanship”, “willing to lend a hand/their expertise if they’re open to doing so” and “willingly accepts consequences for their own actions”. If you don’t follow these expectations at least most of the time, you’re not really acting in a way that is considered acceptable to the rest of the server, and you’re not fitting into the community on Hermitcraft.

- No Hermit takes on any particular authority figure role, neither in the sense of a boss or manager who looks after things on a professional level, nor in the sense of someone taking on a parental role for anyone else. Friendships are certainly encouraged, and Hermits have varying social relationships with each other, but there really is no “mum friend” or “dad friend” around, excepting the occasional joke, there really just isn’t. And there aren’t any Hermits who seem to want to take on this role.

- The closest I can describe the micro-culture of Hermitcraft in real world terms is “university/college dorm full of mature students (mature students = people not fresh out of secondary school/high school)”. They are all busy with their own massive projects, and then on a social level are out to have a good, slightly chaotic, time. They’ve generally got a good sense of identity, or are blossoming into the kind of creator/person they want to be, because they’re in an environment that encourages growth and ambition while (contrary now to the university/college metaphor) not punishing failure. 

- Hermitcraft is a place of “healing” only in the sense that it is a place where people have a fresh start to dedicate themselves to massive projects and become a part of an exclusive but generally helpful and kind community. The only expectations are that you take responsibility for yourself and your own actions, and if you dish out something you’d better be prepared for it to be volleyed back to you; all of these are fair, in my personal opinion. Some people absolutely thrive on such an opportunity! Some others do not.

- Hermitcraft is exclusive, and not everyone who visits the server gets to stay there. To be offered an invite to become a Hermit requires you to be a good fit for the server and its community, and for everyone to agree on that. If even one Hermit doesn’t want someone there, they won’t be invited. That being said, the Hermits are mature individuals, and if you’re not a friend, then you can at least be a colleague. But if you can’t even be that... well. Hermits don’t offer invitations quickly, due to the fact that there is no probationary period; you’re either in or you’re not.

- LARPing is fairly common, wars are games, and everyone there is just out to have fun at the end of the day. If you don’t want to be involved in whatever “storyline” is currently being acted out on the server, you’ve got to manually say so and tap out. You can just say “sorry, busy with my mega-build, have fun at the war” and be left in peace. And these play-pretend games are not necessarily server-wide, either. Not everyone wants to be involved, and those who don’t aren’t pressured to be. But they do very much happen, and pretty frequently. 

And... yeah, that’s about it. Hermitcraft is a world where a bunch of people are basically running wild and free, able to create huge projects and have fun with their friends (in that distinct adults-who-don’t-have-to-go-to-work-and-are-free-to-be-who-they-wish-to-be kind of way), and while the in-universe reality of any storyline can be up for debate in fandom (e.g. in Season 5, was the jungle actually possessing people or were they just LARPing that?), at the end of the day, most of what happens is in good fun and good sportsmanship. And that is what it means to be a Hermit.