#great meltdown of 2023

[ennobaka]

Why is parental love like that. I love you and worry about you in a way that will hurt you the most. I want you to thrive why aren't you conforming to society standards. Why are you hurting me by not being normal. I love you

[hachinohachi]

when you don't want to be hyperindependent anymore but there is no other viable option

[road-rhythm]

Every time Threads is mooted as an alternative to Twitter, this is the only thing I can think of

[jovial-thunder]

Pre-alpha Lancer Tactics changelog

(cross-posting the full gif changelog here because folks seemed to like it last time I did)

We're aiming for getting the first public alpha for backers by the end of this month! Carpenter and I scoped out mechanics that can wait until after the alpha (e.g. grappling, hiding) in favor of tying up the hundred loose threads that are needed for something that approaches a playable game. So this is mostly a big ol changelog of an update from doing that.

But I also gave a talent talk at a local Portland Indie Game Squad event about engine architecture! It'll sound familiar if you've been reading these updates; I laid out the basic idea for this talk almost a year ago, back in the June 2023 update.

We've also signed contracts & had a kickoff meeting with our writers to start on the campaigns. While I've enjoyed like a year of engine-work, it'll be so so nice to start getting to tell stories. Data structures don't mean anything beyond how they affect humans & other life.

New Content

Implemented flying as a status; unit counts as +3 spaces above the current ground level and ignores terrain and elevation extra movement costs. Added hover + takeoff/land animations.

Gave deployables the ability to have 3D meshes instead of 2D sprites; we'll probably use this mostly when the deployable in question is climbable.

Related, I fixed a bug where after terrain destruction, all units recheck the ground height under them so they'll move down if the ground is shot out from under them. When the Jerichos do that, they say "oh heck, the ground is taller! I better move up to stand on it!" — not realizing that the taller ground they're seeing came from themselves.

Fixed by locking some units' rendering to the ground level; this means no stacking climbable things, which is a call I'm comfortable making. We ain't making minecraft here (I whisper to myself, gazing at the bottom of my tea mug). 

Block sizes are currently 1x1x0.5 — half as tall as they are wide. Since that was a size I pulled out of nowhere for convenience, we did some art tests for different block heights and camera angles. TLDR that size works great and we're leaving it.

Added Cone AOE pattern, courtesy of an algorithm NMcCoy sent me that guarantees the correct number of tiles are picked at the correct distance from the origin.

pick your aim angle

for each distance step N of your cone, make a list ("ring") of all the cells at that distance from your origin

sort those cells by angular distance from your aim angle, and include the N closest cells in that ring in the cone's area

Here's a gif they made of it in Bitsy:

Units face where you're planning on moving/targeting them.

Got Walking Armory's Shock option working. Added subtle (too subtle, now that I look at it) electricity effect.

Other things we've added but I don't have gifs for or failed to upload. You'll have to trust me. :)

disengage action

overcharge action

Improved Armament core bonus

basic mine explosion fx

explosion fx on character dying

Increase map elevation cap to 10. It's nice but definitely is risky with increasing the voxel space, gonna have to keep an eye on performance.

Added Structured + Stress event and the associated popups. Also added meltdown status (and hidden countdown), but there's not animation for this yet so your guy just abruptly disappears and leaves huge crater.

UI Improvements

Rearranged the portrait maker. Auto-expand the color picker so you don't have to keep clicking into a submenu.

Added topdown camera mode by pressing R for handling getting mechs out of tight spaces.

The action tooltips have been bothering me for a while; they extend up and cover prime play-area real estate in the center of the screen. So I redesigned them to be shorter and have a max height by putting long descriptions in a scrollable box. This sounds simple, but the redesign, pulling in all the correct data for the tags, and wiring up the tooltips took like seven hours. Game dev is hard, yo.

Put the unit inspect popups in lockable tooltips + added a bunch of tooltips to them.

Implemented the rest of Carpenter's cool hex-y action and end turn readout. I'm a big fan of whenever we can make the game look more like a game and less like a website (though he balances out my impulse for that for the sake of legibility).

Added a JANKY talent/frame picker. I swear we have designs for a better one, but sometimes you gotta just get it working. Also seen briefly here are basic level up/down and HASE buttons.

Other no-picture things:

Negated the map-scaling effect that happens when the window resizes to prevent bad pixel scaling of mechs at different resolutions; making the window bigger now just lets you see more play area instead of making things bigger.

WIP Objectives Bullets panel to give the current sitrep info

Wired up a buncha tooltips throughout the character sheet.

Under the Hood

Serialization: can save/load games! This is the payoff for sticking with that engine architecture I've been going on about. I had to add a serialization function to everything in the center layer which took a while, but it was fairly straightforward work with few curveballs.

Finished replacement of the kit/unit/reinforcement group/sitrep pickers with a new standardized system that can pull from stock data and user-saved data.

Updated to Godot 4.2.2; the game (and editor) has been crashing on exit for a LONG time and for the life of me I couldn't track down why, but this minor update in Godot completely fixed the bug. I still have no idea what was happening, but it's so cool to be working in an engine that's this active bugfixing-wise! 

Other Bugfixes

Pulled straight from the internal changelog, no edits for public parseability:

calculate cover for fliers correctly

no overwatch when outside of vertical threat

fixed skirmisher triggering for each attack in an AOE

fixed jumpjets boost-available detection

fixed mines not triggering when you step right on top of them // at a different elevation but still adjacent

weapon mods not a valid target for destruction

made camera pan less jumpy and adjust to the terrain height

better Buff name/desc localization

Fixed compcon planner letting you both boost and attack with one quick action.

Fix displayed movement points not updating

Prevent wrecks from going prone

fix berserkers not moving if they were exactly one tile away

hex mine uses deployer's save target instead of 0

restrict weapon mod selection if you don't have the SP to pay

fix deployable previews not going away

fix impaired not showing up in the unit inspector (its status code is 0 so there was a check that was like "looks like there's no status here")

fix skirmisher letting you move to a tile that should cost two movement if it's only one space away

fix hit percent calculation

fix rangefinder grid shader corner issues (this was like a full day to rewrite the shader to be better)

Teleporting costs the max(spaces traveled, elevation change) instead of always 1

So um, yeah, that's my talk, any questions? (I had a professor once tell us to never end a talk like this, so now of course it's the phrase that first comes to mind whenever I end a talk)

[dailyniallnews]

Niall Horan | Live at Wembley Arena, London

Six long years after his last tour, Niall Horan returns with The Show: Live on Tour and what a spectacle it is.

When Niall Horan released his debut single “This Town” in 2016, fans and critics alike praised his nuanced storytelling and ability to capture his audience with just a strum of a guitar and a gentle croon. Almost a decade since that release, Horan’s artistry hasn’t faltered — he’s gone from strength to strength, crafting a body of work that is both nostalgic and timeless. Now, with his The Show: Live on Tour, named after his acclaimed 2023 album, he’s reminding all of us just how much he is a showman at heart.

Horan played to a completely packed Wembley Arena last week with many camping out hours to secure a spot on the floor. It’s the same feverish, infectious energy that first began over 14 years ago which, much to Horan’s dismay, hasn’t waned at all. Although it’s difficult to untether Horan from his days in One Direction, he spends moments of the show reflecting on the “14 years of memories” he created in and around the arena and London. The Show: Live on Tour began in Belfast a few weeks back. The first show, he ended it with the words, “This is going to be the best year yet.” Just a handful of days later, he is clearly still revelling in the feeling of being back on stage.

Like the ’70s greats before him, Horan is meant to be heard live. Horan thrives and excels when he’s performing and is a true artist’s artist — not just writing songs, but crafting entire worlds around them. “Nice To Meet Ya” might’ve been an obvious choice for an opening song, but with the context that Horan hasn’t toured since 2018 and wasn’t able to perform his incredible sophomore album, Heartbreak Weather, to audiences due to the pandemic. If the album The Show orbits around who Horan is today as a person, a musician, and a songwriter, the tour is, in a way, serving as a reintroduction to who he is as a performer.

The Show: Live on Tour production sees his six-piece band stand atop varying stages, a nod to the old-school variety show performances. Curtains fall and fold together with images projected — sometimes it’s a billboard that reads THE SHOW, other times it’s a moon soaring through the night sky. It’s the little nods to the world of The Show that make it a spectacle.

When a mirrorball drops — a sign that means Horan is about to play a song from his boyband days — fans erupt into screams. Quickly after, the chords of “Stockholm Syndrome” begin to play and new and old fans alike come together to sing. Horan lets us into his mind for a moment, affectionately saying, “I do this for a living,” which he was reflecting upon during the show.

Horan has a knack for making a 12,000+ arena feel as intimate as a 200-cap venue, using songs like “This Town,” “Flicker,” and the delicate ballad “You Could Start a Cult,” a clear fan favourite, to showcase that further. Every quiet, sombre moment is completely contrasted with a stadium-sized roar from fans responding to Horan’s every childlike smirk and high note. Bringing out Canadian singer/songwriter Shawn Mendes for a duet of his hit “Treat You Better,” and one of his first live performances in years, speaks to Horan’s love towards his fellow singer/songwriters.

Teetering between the hits — think “Slow Hands,” “Meltdown” and “Heartbreak Weather” — and the fan faves like “Everywhere,” “Save My Life” and “Mirrors,” Horan keeps the energy high throughout the entire show — a feat for solo acts. Although the setlist was constructed to have a bit of everything, when scrolling Twitter after the gig I read a tweet which talks about how he made the setlist for die-hard fans. It’s true — it’s a collection of songs that demonstrate his growth and grit as an artist, but also were clearly selected with his fans at the forefront of his mind.

As the show comes to a close, Horan’s penultimate song is “Save My Life.” Horan knows the true meaning it holds, but for fans, it speaks to the beauty of a fan and artist relationship and how the latter’s music shapes the former’s lives. Throughout the show, seeing fans holding up fan projects and crying to various songs is a moving thing for Horan to witness. 14 years on and he’s still in awe of the magic he’s been able to make through his work.

For fans who have yet to see Horan live on this tour, he describes it best in The Show‘s title track: Hold tight, get ready for the ride.

Words Kelsey Barnes

[tunedtostatic]

Blog updates 2024 edition, or more specifically, one big, potentially very good update: Last year when I did my 2023 blog updates, almost but not quite a year ago now, I said I might be within a month or so of things no longer being in serious crisis/my life being basically okay-adjacent. It is hard to write this even now but it turned out that that didn't work out - things did get better, especially for a chunk of six months in the middle of the year when I had safe housing and things felt wonderful compared to the last few years, but neither external circumstances nor my own ability to deal with {PTSD, external circumstances, &c} got to the point hoped for where I would be able to say "I'm living a life where things are more or less normal and okay." Even though I never quite reached things being okay-adjacent during that chunk of months and things got not great again end of summer to now, having that time of things being close to almost okay-adjacent was a very important springboard to me for make it to a point now where I might be within reach of actually okay-adjacent.

Right now, what I said last year about potentially being within a month or so of things being basically okay is potentially true again, and I think I have a better shot at it this time for both external reasons and personal "knowing more about what to do to get safe and having my shit together" reasons. I might be within reach of things being okay-adjacent and feeling like I have a real normal life outside of crises (here defined as safe housing, employment, no people hurting me in my immediate vicinity, financial and scheduling ability to manage physical medical issues on a day to day basis while still eating without mental health issues getting in the way of that, clothing in drawers not trash bags, nothing actively medically scary).

If so this will be for the first time since 2018 so of course it's a big deal to me. Right now of course I'm both excited and relieved things might work out soon and terrified that they won't.

Meanwhile (the reason beyond updating that I'm posting this!), as I get ready to fully move into the place that will hopefully be the "safe housing" part of this, it's been really hitting me that even though living a life that is normal-adjacent and okay-adjacent will inherently be orders of magnitude better than the last 5+ years and of course I'm prepared to be extremely grateful for that, I'm still going to have all the grief and emptiness I have now. Even though I will as always be (too) busy in some ways trying to get everything done in a day while dealing with chronic pain, no longer having so much time soaked up trying to survive whatever the problem of the week or PTSD meltdown of the day is means that I'm going to have hours and hours of empty time to fill every week.

When I talk about loss I know some people's minds will jump to the worst case personal scenarios so I will clarify that I am fortunate that by grief I don't mean the death of an immediate family member, not that kind of grief. A lot of different things - people who have been awful, deaths, horribleness in my neighborhood that was like family, lost time, and all the losses prior to the last few years in some ways since grief doesn't fully go away, and then things like a close friendship breakup last year that is not as painful as any of the above since we are both alive and managed to be kind to each other throughout the breakup but it's still over. It has been hitting me that a lot of the work of grieving everything from the past couple decades, like the work of dealing with PTSD, is what I had to get through these past couple years to have a chance of getting my shit together, but now that I've made enough headway on the work of grieving to be able to have a chance at my life being okay, the losses and emptiness themselves will still be there ("still be gone"?)

If anyone has suggestions for fun stuff to do, book and movie recommendations, &c, it would be a really good time for them! If anyone can recommend social stuff, e.g. friendly good-boundary-having discord servers, that would be amazing. I think y'all know my favorite things in fiction and music (fiddles, writing fanfic that comes to a screeching halt 2-3 times a chapter to talk about food, thoughtful meditations on torture?, swords) but I'm usually down to at least give media outside my wheelhouse a try.

[goodlucktai]

soft ground, claiming moon

fear the fall and where we’ll land

@natsumeweek 2023 day 3; kindness/cruelty read on ao3

(previous) (next) 

x

For a moment, no one moves or speaks or even breathes. Takashi himself is frozen, mind completely blank. This is so far from anything he could have expected that his body doesn’t know how to react. 

Then Taki blurts, “Is that Natori Shuuichi?”

“Wait, the guy from that dumb show Satchan and Sasada argue about every week?” Kitamoto says dubiously. 

Their resident witch twitches, offended, and Nishimura says, “It’s not dumb, it’s really good! There’s nuance! You just have to give it a chance.”

Unmoved, Kitamoto says, “Okay but isn’t he, like, famous? What’s he doing here?”

Their voices are a static wash of sound. Takashi doesn’t hear a word. He’s hyper-focused on the man in front of them. Natori’s expression is still smiling, but that’s his T.V. smile. There’s no warmth to it at all. Takashi can tell the difference. 

Maybe Tanuma can, too, or maybe he just knows how to read Takashi better than most people, because Tanuma shifts to the side until he has a shoulder in front of Nishimura. He dips a hand into the pocket he keeps his prayer beads in. There’s not much he can do against another human person, but if it came down to it, he would be able to guard against the shiki at least.

Here. In his home. While his father is away and his friend is in pain. 

Takashi realizes that his heart is racing, but not with fear. It feels more like anger. 

How dare Natori show up here? How dare he look at Nishimura like he’s some sort of monster? He doesn’t even know the whole story. He didn’t see Nishimura in that hospital room. 

“Um,” Nishimura says, overly loud, not passing for normal at all, “um, not to sound lame or anything, but can I get your autograph?”

He’s excited. Just for a second, the moon is the last thing on his mind. 

But the shiki react to his question like Nishimura just threw a knife at them, in Sasago and Urihime’s case, baring their teeth and reaching for their weapons. Hiiragi tilts her head an inch to the left and otherwise doesn’t move at all. 

They’re visible here, where Taki has laid dozens of circles in the earth. Nishimura flinches back and the shining expression on his face goes shuttered, a window closing against the cold. 

At the same time Tanuma pulls the rosary out of his pocket, and Taki lifts chalk dust-covered fingers, and Kitamoto yanks Nishimura a whole two steps back behind everyone else, Nyanko-sensei disappears in a thick screen of smoke. 

When it clears, he towers above them all in his true form. The fluffy cloud tail of his lashes a few times, knocking a few small boughs from a nearby tree, before he settles down in a half-moon curl around his kids. 

Natori’s shiki stiffen. They would fight sensei unflinchingly if they were ordered to, but they’re outclassed and they know it. Natori’s smile has tapered off but he still has that silver stake in his hand.

“Good grief,” Nyanko-sensei rumbles. “I hate fleas.”

“Sensei?” Nishimura says. He’s squished between Kitamoto and Taki and half-buried in downy white fur, looking torn between bewildered and offended. There’s a faint shadow of the wolf looming in his eyes. “Natsume, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Takashi says shortly. “Natori just likes to show up without warning. Or an invitation.”

“And his familiars are poorly trained,” Taki, who was once famously trapped on a tricky mountain ledge for two hours because her kitsune threw a tantrum when she forgot to bring them aburaage as a treat, snaps meanly. 

“Don’t worry about the fleas,” sensei orders. “Go plate that cake already.”

“Sensei,” Nishimura argues, but he’s buffeted forward with a bump from Nyanko-sensei’s great head. 

Kitamoto looks like he’s one more big surprise away from a meltdown, but he uses that momentum to begin dragging Nishimura the rest of the way to the temple, giving Natori a wide berth and a suspicious look. Taki goes with them, glaring over her shoulder with every step. 

Tanuma looks very worried about the standoff occuring in his yard, rubbing one of the beads between his fingers anxiously.

“Should I call Misuzu?” he asks Takashi in a quiet tone. “He always has frogs nearby. There’s usually at least three in the temple somewhere.”

“No need,” Takashi replies. “Sensei and I will handle this.”

Tanuma lingers for another moment, but a glance up at Nyanko-sensei seems to convince him. He passes by Natori with a skittish sidelong look. Natori’s expression turns pained at the way Tanuma hurries out of his proximity. 

When the doors of the temple have shut, Natori says very gently, “Natsume. You know I had to come.”

Takashi says, “But you didn’t.”

“You are in over your head. There is absolutely no way you could be prepared to deal with—what must be dealt with. There’s hardly any text about it anywhere.”

“And if humans don’t have the knowledge recorded, it doesn’t exist?�� sensei asks sardonically. “Spare me your self-importance, exorcist. It was your kind that caused this mess in the first place.” 

Normally, Takashi would play mediator between the two, try to check their frankly ridiculous egos, but he can feel his own temper fraying apart and doesn’t have the mental fortitude to spare.  

He can’t remember ever being angrier than this. He can feel the spirits in Yatsuhara becoming agitated, all stirred up because of him. 

“Playing the blame game is a waste of everyone’s time,” Natori says harshly. He’s disquieted by sensei’s remark; it’s obvious in the way he hustles past it. “I’m here to help, whether you believe me or not.”

“Then help,” Takashi says. He doesn’t recognize his own voice. “Don’t hunt. Throw that weapon away.” The way the silver shines in the low light is making him sick. 

“I can’t do that,” Natori says. “You know I can’t do that. He’s going to turn.”

“It doesn’t mean he has to die.”

“He’s a monster. He’ll hurt you, he won’t have a choice.”

“And you think I would just stand there and let it happen?” 

“I think you have a history of doing exactly that.”

It hurts because Natori says it softly.

With a deep breath, Takashi says, “If he’s a monster, so am I. You came here to kill me, too, a year ago. What stopped you then?”

He’ll regret it later because of the way Natori’s whole body seems to crumple at his words. He knows the older man regrets the nature of their first meeting, for all that he was acting on the best information he had at the time. 

For now, he presses on, “You met me. You made an exception. I didn’t hurt anyone. I wouldn’t.” 

Takashi presses his hands together, half in pleading, half to keep a solid grip on his cognizance, because the wilderness inside him is beckoning him ever deeper. It wants him to let go and tear asunder, the way of earthquakes and tsunamis. 

But he won’t. That’s the whole point. 

“Nishimura wouldn’t either,” he goes on. “He would never. If you would just meet him I know you’d understand.”

Natori doesn’t say anything right away. Dusk is upon them, the sky vivid with sunset colors. They are inching ever closer to nightfall. Soon they’ll be out of time to talk. Takashi needs him to be convinced sooner than later. 

Nyanko-sensei’s tail flicks idly. He would never admit to caring about any of the humans who fill his days, but Takashi knows he has a particular fondness for the colorful, chaotic Nishimura. If it came down to protecting him, he would tear his way through Natori’s shiki with his teeth. 

Takashi would prefer it not to come to that. 

Suddenly, Hiiragi steps between their two parties, and puts Takashi and sensei behind her. Facing her master, she tells him, “I know that you’re kind.”

She draws back her sleeve, revealing the neat bandage wrapped carefully around her arm.

“I know that you want to be kind,” Hiiragi says.

For a handful of seconds that feel more like an hour, Natori stares at her without speaking. Then he grinds the heels of his hands into his eyes and sighs with feeling.

Hope floods Takashi’s heart, but he doesn’t relax until Natori tosses that silver stake down. 

“Alright,” the exorcist says wearily. “We’ll try it your way.”

[ennobaka]

Hmm I've been debating whether or not to order some fabric and sew a light jacket/haori and like, what do I have to lose

[hachinohachi]

Oscillating between 'i don't think i have suicidal obsession ocd it's just regular old depression' and 'me wondering whether i have suicidal obsession ocd is the compulsive part of ocd actually'

[mostlysignssomeportents]

This day in history

Catch me in Miami! I'll be at Books and Books in Coral Gables TOMORROW (Jan 22) at 8PM. Berliners: Otherland has added a second date (Jan 28) for my book-talk after the first one sold out - book now!

#20yrsago RIP, Whole Earth Review https://web.archive.org/web/20040202031838/https://www.worldchanging.com/archives/000338.html

#15yrsago Media helped create the financial meltdown https://web.archive.org/web/20090125204013/http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/01/23/the_medias_role_in_the_financial_crisis/

#10yrsago Ukraine government sends text to protesters: “Dear subscriber, you are registered as a participant in a mass disturbance” https://memex.craphound.com/2014/01/23/ukraine-government-sends-text-to-protesters-dear-subscriber-you-are-registered-as-a-participant-in-a-mass-disturbance/

#10yrsago What Makes Jo Walton So Great https://www.tor.com/2014/01/21/what-makes-jo-walton-so-great/

#5yrsago After Net Neutrality repeal, Comcast, Charter and Verizon cut investment in their networks https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2019/01/sorry-ajit-comcast-lowered-cable-investment-despite-net-neutrality-repeal/

#5yrsago Data-broker implicated in bounty-hunters’ access to mobile location data lobbied FCC to fight consent for sharing location data https://www.vice.com/en/article/vbwgw8/zumigo-phone-location-data-sold-lobbied-fcc-consent

#5yrsago Limits to trickle-down: Trump’s tax-cut “boom” fizzles https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/23/business/investment-boom-tax-cuts-economy/index.html

#5yrsago Corporate America projects giant profits from climate disasters https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-01-22/muggy-disney-parks-downed-at-t-towers-firms-tally-climate-risk

#5yrsago After six days, LA teachers settle their strike, wringing huge concessions out of the school district https://jacobin.com/2019/01/la-teachers-strike-contract-arlene-inouye/

#5yrsago Winners Take All: the Davos Edition (how elites launder looting with phoney philanthropy) https://www.theguardian.com/news/2019/jan/22/the-new-elites-phoney-crusade-to-save-the-world-without-changing-anything

#5yrsago How a political outsider’s fundraising tool is helping insurgent, working-class Dems mount primary challenges and campaigns https://theintercept.com/2019/01/23/grassroots-analytics-campaign-donations/

#1yrago Eggflation is just more price-gouging https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/23/cant-make-an-omelet/#keep-calm-and-crack-on

I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

[johannestevans]

Happy new year!

Good evening, and happy Gregorian new year!

Firstly, the results of my giveaway - the winner has been picked, I'm just waiting for them to get back into contact with me, and everyone who didn't win did get some vouchers for eBooks, which I'm opening up into a little new year's gift!

Want an eBook copy of my slowburn historical fantasy romance between an ADHD vampire and his very autistic secretary? Get Heart of Stone on Smashwords and enter the redemption code XE97D!

Want an eBook copy of my more fast-paced and silly threesome novella between a deceptively experienced young gentleman, a harried naval sub-lieutenant, and the sexy pirate captain that kidnaps them both? Get Gerald Poole and the Pirates on Smashwords and enter the redemption code SF83E!

Enjoy, enjoy!

As I settle into my new place, I'm just starting on decorating and furnishing the place, so I've been picking up some old furniture and beginning to paint, which is great. I'm super excited to have a fully furnished space to work from, but in the meantime it's exciting to work on the process.

I'm still not back into my regular movie-watching vibe as I'm yet to have proper wi-fi in my new place, but I've recently been going between my rewatch of BBC Merlin (always a classic) and also playing Dragon Quest XI, and as for the latter, I recommend it so much. It's such a fun game that, as many of the DQ titles do, plays a lot with and pastiches a lot of classic RPG elements, but it's also so funny and also heartfelt and really loving about its characters, so big recommend.

A new month means a new set of prompts on Trans Erotica!

Prompts for January 2024

Modelling nude

Orgasm denial

In someone else’s clothes

Double-ended dildo

Against a wall

Inspired by a prompt to write a piece?

If you’re trans or nonbinary, submit to us!

There's no round-up of my most popular pieces of last month this email, as instead I did a 2023 round-up of all my most popular works already - my top fiction and non-fiction works of the last year are all laid out here.

New Works Published

Erotic Short: The Duelling Ground

Two old veterans use a duelling student as their shared toy. Rated E, 3k. Trans M between a trans M and cis M, with a duelling master fucking one of his students with a friend of his. Double penetration, anal and vaginal play, biting and nibbling, rough sex, squirting, a bit of breeding dirty talk, size kink, gaping, nipple and chest play.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

Guide: Where do I find the queer people?

Making friends and finding social & community spaces as an LGBTQ+ adult.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon / / Read on Tumblr

Erotic Short: Good and Bred

Erotic short. A servant attends a warrior and gives him his first taste of sex with another man.

3k, rated E, cis M/ cis M. A warrior has never slept with another man before, and intends to top — his pretty little servant has different ideas, and cleaves him open. Featuring anal sex, massage kink, size kink, gender play, feminisation, some gaping, rough sex, D/s and power dynamics, role reversal, dirty talk, creampies, lots of breeding kink.

Adapted from a TweetFic.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon / / Read on Ao3 / / Read on Tumblr

Serial Update: Rescue Dogs

Chapter Fifteen. In the aftermath of therapy, Valorous has a bit of a meltdown, and Cecil is right there with him.

--

Cecil Hobbes finally gets Valorous King to try a new adventure: therapy. Cecil Hobbes, an ex-PE teacher disgraced and looked down on in his hometown, has a new partner: Sir Valorous King, a knight of the realm, once a child of prophecy, and Cecil’s stalker. A few months into their relationship, Cecil finally convinces Valorous to see a therapist, on the condition that Cecil attend one himself.

Read on WorldAnvil / / Read on Medium / / Read on Ao3

[theshowliveontour]

When Niall Horan released his debut single “This Town” in 2016, fans and critics alike praised his nuanced storytelling and ability to capture his audience with just a strum of a guitar and a gentle croon. Almost a decade since that release, Horan’s artistry hasn’t faltered — he’s gone from strength to strength, crafting a body of work that is both nostalgic and timeless. Now, with his The Show: Live on Tour, named after his acclaimed 2023 album, he’s reminding all of us just how much he is a showman at heart.

Horan played to a completely packed Wembley Arena last week with many camping out hours to secure a spot on the floor. It’s the same feverish, infectious energy that first began over 14 years ago which, much to Horan’s dismay, hasn’t waned at all. Although it’s difficult to untether Horan from his days in One Direction, he spends moments of the show reflecting on the “14 years of memories” he created in and around the arena and London. The Show: Live on Tour began in Belfast a few weeks back. The first show, he ended it with the words, “This is going to be the best year yet.” Just a handful of days later, he is clearly still revelling in the feeling of being back on stage.

Like the ’70s greats before him, Horan is meant to be heard live. Horan thrives and excels when he’s performing and is a true artist’s artist — not just writing songs, but crafting entire worlds around them. “Nice To Meet Ya” might’ve been an obvious choice for an opening song, but with the context that Horan hasn’t toured since 2018 and wasn’t able to perform his incredible sophomore album, Heartbreak Weather, to audiences due to the pandemic. If the album The Show orbits around who Horan is today as a person, a musician, and a songwriter, the tour is, in a way, serving as a reintroduction to who he is as a performer.

The Show: Live on Tour production sees his six-piece band stand atop varying stages, a nod to the old-school variety show performances. Curtains fall and fold together with images projected — sometimes it’s a billboard that reads THE SHOW, other times it’s a moon soaring through the night sky. It’s the little nods to the world of The Show that make it a spectacle.

When a mirrorball drops — a sign that means Horan is about to play a song from his boyband days — fans erupt into screams. Quickly after, the chords of “Stockholm Syndrome” begin to play and new and old fans alike come together to sing. Horan lets us into his mind for a moment, affectionately saying, “I do this for a living,” which he was reflecting upon during the show.

Horan has a knack for making a 12,000+ arena feel as intimate as a 200-cap venue, using songs like “This Town,” “Flicker,” and the delicate ballad “You Could Start a Cult,” a clear fan favourite, to showcase that further. Every quiet, sombre moment is completely contrasted with a stadium-sized roar from fans responding to Horan’s every childlike smirk and high note. Bringing out Canadian singer/songwriter Shawn Mendes for a duet of his hit “Treat You Better,” and one of his first live performances in years, speaks to Horan’s love towards his fellow singer/songwriters.

Teetering between the hits — think “Slow Hands,” “Meltdown” and “Heartbreak Weather” — and the fan faves like “Everywhere,” “Save My Life” and “Mirrors,” Horan keeps the energy high throughout the entire show — a feat for solo acts. Although the setlist was constructed to have a bit of everything, when scrolling Twitter after the gig I read a tweet which talks about how he made the setlist for die-hard fans. It’s true — it’s a collection of songs that demonstrate his growth and grit as an artist, but also were clearly selected with his fans at the forefront of his mind.

As the show comes to a close, Horan’s penultimate song is “Save My Life.” Horan knows the true meaning it holds, but for fans, it speaks to the beauty of a fan and artist relationship and how the latter’s music shapes the former’s lives. Throughout the show, seeing fans holding up fan projects and crying to various songs is a moving thing for Horan to witness. 14 years on and he’s still in awe of the magic he’s been able to make through his work.

For fans who have yet to see Horan live on this tour, he describes it best in The Show‘s title track: Hold tight, get ready for the ride.

[that-glitter-chick]

My entry for day one of SkyStar Week 2023! I like to write little ficlits and assign songs to my art as a bonus.

Prompt: Curious, Song: I want to hold your hand by The Beatles.

Ficlit: Collision Course

“What’cha working on Star?”

“Gah! Nothing.” Starscream jumped, startled by the normally welcomed voice’s sudden appearance so close to his audio receptor. He just as quickly flung himself over his datapad, covering it with his arms to obstruct his Amida Endura’s view of its contents. If the handsome giant knew the device had a sketchy portrait of himself, drawn so meticulously and lovingly by his little companion, Starscream would fling himself into the next black hole he came upon.

Chuckling good naturally, Jetfire stepped back with his servos up in surrender. “Ok, I get it. Classified subject.” He smiled warmly down at his much shorter lab partner. “I just came over to ask if you would like to join me. I’m going to Maccadam’s to wind down a little before heading home.”

Starscream smirked mischievously “Only if you’re buying big guy. Let me clean up here and I’ll be right with you.”

“Meet you in the foyer?” Skyfire suggested and Starscream nodded. As he turned to leave the large shuttle-former stopped to look over his shoulder “Would you like me to invite your brothers as well?”

“No!” The small seeker caught himself short at his own outburst but his friend was used to such dramatic behavior. More calmly, Starscream explained “They’re busy tonight. Uh, I understand if you’d rather not just hang out with me.” He seemed to deflate into himself at the thought. “I know Thundercracker is more charming and Skywarp more fun than I am…”

Returning to his friend’s side, Skyfire knelt and hugged him. Pulling back to look his partner in the optics, blue meeting crimson, Skyfire murmured gently, “Actually I was offering for your sake. You seem more at ease when with your Trin. But to be perfectly honest,” Skyfire was blushing to beat the proverbial band “I much prefer having your company all to myself.”

“I’m all yours.” Starscream choked a little on a sudden gasp at his own impulsive admittance. But before he could stutter a save for himself, Skyfire grinned brightly, stood back up and said,

“Great! It’s a date then. I’ll go lock up my lab and wait for you to get done here.” Just as he reached the door, the same time Starscream was having a processor meltdown over the term ‘date’ having been used so nonchalantly, he turned and smiled impishly. “Oh and Star…”

“Yeah…?” The Seeker asked cautiously.

“You’re a talented artist. I’ve never looked better.” He winked a sky blue optic and quickly retreated from the room as Starscream’s temper erupted.

“You peeked! You total cheat! It’s not done yet. You’re buying me two rounds for that! Sheesh.”

[im-just-a-br0adway-baby]

Encantober 2023 Day 7: Storm

The Encanto was going through one of the worst tropical storms they had in a long time. The entire village had to stay indoors until the storm wore off. Knowing how bad it was going, it seemed like they were going to be staying inside for at least a week. All the villagers could think was, “what has gotten Pepa so upset that she’s storming this bad?”

In Casita, the Madrigal family could not help but notice Pepa’s door acting up. The rest of the family decided that it was best to leave her alone and stay in their respective rooms except for meals during the storm to keep themselves safe. Julieta and Agustin suggested that Felix stayed in their room during the storm, and while he agreed at first, all he could think to himself was how awful his wife was feeling and wanted to be there for her.

“I really don’t think I should be in here anymore. Pepa’s been at this emotional meltdown for over an hour. I need to be there for her.”

“Are you sure? Because if I were you, I would be terrified to step foot in my room. I never experienced her mood being this bad before,” Agustin explained.

“No me importa. I was never scared of her, ever since we first met. What makes you think I’m going to be scared of her now?”

“I was just giving you my opinion. I would just be cautious.”

Felix shrugged it off as Julieta came back in the room with a full place of arepas. “I figured we could enjoy some before the kids see us and start begging us for some.”

Agustin, Felix, and Julieta grabbed an arepa each from the plate and took a bite of them simultaneously. “Juli, do you think I’m not making the right decision by checking up on Pepa?”

“Felix, what makes you think you’re not making the right decision?”

“Because Agustin is telling me that he would be too terrified to even enter the room if he was in this situation.”

“Oh, you know that Agustin would be scared in any unfamiliar situation. I’ve known you for most of our lives, and nobody can calm Pepa down like you can. There’s no need for you to feel as hesitant as you are right now.”

Felix took another bite out of his arepa. “Gracias, Julieta; I figured I wasn’t making a wrong decision. I just needed someone to confirm for me.”

“De nada, Felix; and you don’t need any confirmation. You’re already great at making good decisions.”

Felix grabbed another arepa from the plate and put it in a handkerchief for Pepa after she calmed down. He made his way out of Julieta’s room and stared across the hall to see Pepa’s door. It was flashing so constantly that none of the other doors have ever flashed before. He slowly made his way to his room to see how Pepa was doing. Once he got to his room, he slowly opened the door to see Pepa on the bed, the room flooded with rain and storm clouds surrounding it. She did not put her head up until she heard Felix’s voice.

“...Pepi? Is everything okay?” he asked as he made his way into the room.

Pepa put her head up, but continued crying. “Go away,” she said bluntly.

“Look, I see that you’re upset right now, but I just want to try to help you. There is a massive tropical storm spreading throughout the Encanto and we’re scared we need to stay evacuated for at least a week.”

“So? I’ve lived here my entire life and had my gift for over forty-five years. They know how to deal with this.”

“Not to this extreme. I never remembered seeing a storm this bad in the Encanto.”

Pepa ignored her husband and continued crying into her pillow, allowing the clouds and flood to grow. Felix never felt this lost his entire life. Normally, he would never be this lost in helping Pepa. Normally, he would have an answer when it came to calming down his wife. But right now, he has nothing.

Felix sat on his bedside as Pepa continued crying. All he could think about was how he was going to fail as a husband if this was not solved immediately. As much as she tried to, she just could not stop crying. She tried to do everything in her power to stop, but the tears just kept on coming. Not even the presence of her husband could calm her down at the moment. That was, until Felix had an idea.

“Stay right there, Pepita, I’m going to get something for you.”

Felix left the room to leave Pepa be for a couple minutes. He made his way down the hall and knocked on the nursery’s door. Mirabel answered the door to see her uncle standing in front of the door.

“I thought we were supposed to be in our rooms right now. It’s still pretty bad right now.”

“I know, Mira, but I think I know what will calm Pepa down. Do you have any sewing supplies we could use together?”

“I have a lot of it. But I thought you didn’t know how to sew.”

“That’s why I’m asking you to help me. You also know what fabrics and scents calm Pepa down more than anyone else in this house. If you help me make something that could be the calmest thing imaginable, maybe the storm will pass.”

Mirabel agreed after taking out her box of sewing supplies. She showed Felix all the fabrics she often used and grabbed another box from her closet. It was filled with scents she sometimes used when she wanted to give anything she made a little extra kick. 

“I have every fabric that every member of this family likes in this box, and every scent this family likes in this other box. Since Pepa’s most comforting fabrics and absolute favorite scent is available, we can make a little toy for her that should calm her down instantly.”

Felix could not be any more grateful for having a niece as smart as Mirabel. Not only did she know which fabrics comforted which family members, but she also knew what scents every family member loved better than anyone else. The uncle and niece dug through the boxes to find Pepa’s most comforting fabric to begin making a toy for her.

------------------------------------------

The toy took about two hours to finish, but they finished it and Felix took it and made his way back to his room. Pepa’s door was still flashing and the storm was starting to get worse. Felix was starting to tremble because now he thought this was not going to work. Regardless, he still made his way back to his room in hopes that it would. He knocked on the door as slowly as he could until Casita opened the door for him. He made his way into his room to see his wife still crying into her pillow, in the same position she was in when he left.

“Pepi, I have something for you. Do you want to see it?”

Pepa ignored him and continued crying into her pillow. Felix moved closer to her and sat on their bedside in hopes he could smell the vanilla scent. He already knew before Mirabel told him that it was her favorite smell.

“It’s super comforting. Mirabel helped me make it.”

Pepa reached her hand out to try and grab the toy from Felix, so he put it in her hand. She put her hand back to notice it was silk. It was the most comforting fabric to her; almost every cuddle toy she owned was made out of silk. Not that long after, she smelled the vanilla scent from the toy and immediately stopped crying. She continued feeling and smelling the toy; it felt like it was a small plush bunny. Pepa lifted her head from her pillow to see a small, white, silk bunny with a vanilla scent to it. Her clouds slowly began to disappear and the storm turned into a small drizzle.

“Wow; this is the best thing anyone has ever given to me. How did you make this?”

“I got help from Mirabel. I didn’t think anything would calm you down, because I tried to talk to you and you ignored me.”

“Lo siento, mi amor; I never meant to ignore you out of harm. I was just too angry to talk to anyone and I didn’t want to hurt you.”

The couple hugged each other as Pepa’s storm clouds turned into sunshine and rainbows. “What got you so angry in the first place?” Felix asked.

“I was out doing chores and I saw a couple of girls coming into the fields. They came closer to me and I saw it was my high school bully, Valentina, with girls that I had never seen before. She came up to me and made all these comments about my insecurities to see if she could make me snap, and she did. Before the storm started, I… beat her just like I often did when we were teenagers.”

Felix hugged his wife one more time while she squeezed the bunny. The storm may have stopped, but there was a lot of damage, both in the Encanto and inside Pepa, that needed to be fixed. He knew it was going to be a hard job when he started dating her, but he took it for over thirty years and was still happy to do it now.

[neurodivergent-media]

A Kind of Spark (TV series) (2023)

A Kind of Spark is a 2023 CBBC children's drama series, based on the book of the same name by Elle McNicoll.

The series folows Addie Darrow, a autistic girl who find clues regarding a mystery in her small town's history regarding the time of the witchhunts. She aims to convince the council to set up a memorial for the women from long ago who were persucted simply for being different.

I highly recommend this show. Even though it's aimed at children/young teens, the story never feels childish, even the more humourous moments. The themes of ableism and bullying were dealt with seriosuly and maturely. Many autistic girls who are/were in mainstream school will likely relate to Addie and/or Keedie, and allistics could learn a lot from watching.

Firstly, the actors for the 2 main autistic characters are themselves autistic, and I think I read that many people working behind the camera were autistic too. Also, the author of the original book is autistic.

Addie has a special interest in sharks, and develops a special interest/hyperfixation in the "witches". She experiences sensory overload, mentions sensory issues with her hair being brushed, has a meltdown/shutdown and she has a distinctive gait. She seems like someone who wold be deemed "high-functioning" (the term is not used in the show) in that she may come across to others as "weird but not immediately obviously disabled". She is verbal, makes eye contact and her stims tend to be on the more subtle side. I could see a lot of my younger self in Addie, despite the differences in interests. She isn't a misanthropic genius or a checklist of symptoms but a 3 dimensional, fleshed out character.

One of Addie's older sisters, Keedie is also autistic, and their bond was really touching and engaging. Autistic family members is something I wish we saw more often in the media. Keedie is less notceably autistic for much of the show, which I feel is useful to show to people that plenty of people don't "look" autistic, but still are.

Addie's new friend Audrey is wonderfully supportive and understanding - as opposed to some media where the friend is mean, or portrayed as a saint for "putting up with" an autistic person. Addie's parents are also understanding and supportive on the whole. There's a really nice, brief, simple moment at a family dinner where the dad serves out pasta with different ingredients according to their sensory needs (no sauce for Keedie, smooth sauce for Addie, "lumpy" sauce for everyone else).

Addie and her sister's autism are integral parts of their characters, without the show's story being simply "about autism". The show's message is to respect people who are different, and it's never done in a heavy-handed or "preachy" way. With the witches element, which features glimpses into the past during the witch trials, it was a great way of showing how autism has actually existed for a very long time.

The show deals with ableism and bullying, including the all-too-real occurrence of teachers mistreating autistic students. It is well portrayed, but it might be triggering for some. This is the first time I think I've ever seen autistic burnout portrayed in any media, and it could be enlightening for many allistics watching the show.

In terms of other neurodivergences, there is one character heavily implied to be dyslexic. Unfortunately, she bullies Addie. It seems like part of her treatment of Addie is due to internalised ableism and jealousy, which added an interesting layer to her character but might be off-putting to dyslexic viewers nonetheless.

I suppose one of the few negatives is one that's still very common, in that the autistic characters are white.

Also, Addie's mother tries to discourage her newfound interest in witches, but it's more of in a way to protect her which is hard to explain without giving spoilers. (Some spoilers below).

Keedie developed a special interest in a battle taught in history in class, the intensity of which led to a serious incident at school. Addie and Keedie's mum fears the same thing happening with Addie and the witches (there is more to Keedie's school situation that initially appears, but I don't want to give further spoilers).

It was a little odd that it almost framed Keedie's special interest in said battle itself negatively however - how she would spend hours staring at a painting of it. However, I feel like this was rectified to some extent, as Keedie actually re-engages with this old special interest to aid in her recovery from burnout.

[screamingiminlovewithyou]

Tell me about each show you’ve been to and your seats!!!

oh fun!!! I became a fan in 2009, but due to terrible anxiety and not-right medicine (thanks, Zoloft), I didn’t attend the Fearless tour when she came back around in 2010. I remember my sister and her friend were going but my mom said she couldn’t attend and I could go with my sister or not at all. The me of today reply regrets this.

2011- Speak Now Tour in Sunrise. 6/3/2011. This was my firsttttt concert! I wore this shirt and I think I was in 7th grade. That isn’t how I remember the shirt, it was the pictures from Hey Stephen in the Fearless Booklet. However, i do remember having a meltdown about my outfit and eating teriyaki chicken. We were in nosebleeds and I couldn’t really see a thing. I don’t remember it that much.

2011- Speak Now 11/13/11. She came back around and my mom and I got tickets in the lower bowl for like 97 each. It was SO much fun. I made a sign that said I love love love you but I was too shy to hold it up. She came so close on the love story float. I wore the haunted speak now shirt that I still have.

2013- Red tour Miami 4/13/13 (she loves Florida on the 13th). My mom and I went and I remember being at school and SO ready to go. I wore black glitter Keds. Black high waisted shorts. A red glitter 13 on my hands. And this shirt. My friend at the time (we just fell out after graduation but I loved her), had nosebleeds and my mom very kindly gave her her seat and sat with her aunt. We had a blast. Taylor sang today was a fairytale.

2015- 1989 tour NC. I think 6/15/15? Maybe? Or 6/8? Cursed trip due to my mom’s dreaded ex and I was so desperate to meet taylor i sort of put myself in a mood. However, I gave taylor nation a whole booklet of letters from fans. Last arena show I saw of hers.

2015- 1989 Tour Tampa 10/31/15. Went with the same friend and we had nosebleeds but it was the BEST! Leaving was a disaster filled with ant bites, being stranded, exploding diet cokes, and bus rides to unknown locations. We made it home though.

2018- Rep tour Tampa 8/14/18. Same friend and had a BLAST!! We had lower bowl and a great view. She sang invisible and the person who requested it was behind me and was extremely emotional lol.

2018- Rep Tour Miami 8/18/18- Got last minute tickets on StubHub for 100 (fuck!) and went with a different friend and my mom. Had last row seats but it was worth it! She sang breathe and I cried cause that song makes me think of my parents divorce and i didn’t want to hear it lol. My mom was also had lowkey sassy to me so I was a little irate. Had frat bros near me who spilled some beer on my leg.

2023- Eras Tampa- 4/14/23- Middle bowl but I didn’t wear my contacts and was so mad at myself. Magical nonetheless and she sang The Great War and YOYOK for the first time. I left needing so badly to go again that I was led onto a journey of desperation, scammers, and depression. I believe someone near me spilled some beer on me, AGAIN!

2023- Eras Minneapolis 6/24/23- Lowerbowl and amazing seats! Wack ass couple in front of me and the man was like nine feet tall and the girl was drunk and pissy and they completely blocked me from seeing. They were rude and I cried and my mom attempted to ask security for assistance but he was rude as fuck. I cried during the whole lover set cause I couldn’t see anything (of course you can dance and have fun but bro if you’re that tall and you guys are being that annoying have some decorum. I was just so happy to be there and so excited that my bubble was dramatically bursted when i realized i was completely visually blocked. But they ended up scooting over and so did i but I’ll never forgive them). Dear John and Daylight.

2024- Eras MIAMIIII 10/18/24. Last minute tickets. Restricted seats but the view was fine. We had an easy time seeing. Some drunk girls in front of us who also blocked our views and were asked by not just my mother (she can be a bit Karen-like at times) but others to move a little or chill and they were not having it…but eventually they just moved before taylor even came on. I wanted NOTHING more than a fearless or debut song, specifically Tim McGraw cause i never went to the fearless tour and I CANNOT BELIEVE SHE SANG IT!!!!!!!!!! With timeless. I also wanted a folklore song, specifically mirrorball or this is me trying and she sang TIMT. I weirdly had a moment in the car driving down where I felt like she was going to play daylight again and, yes, she did! But that’s okay. It was perfect and I’m so happy i went!!