#granted you could say being alone is what makes it his lowest

[spork-supremacy]

like imagine Cole and Jay just having a casual conversation at some point right before the upcoming day of the departed (after crystalised) and they're just randomly thinking about death.

"Isn't it kinda weird that some of us have died so many times."

"You've all died once, you just don't remember."

"What about you?"

"I haven't. Guess the universe has never gotten around to me. "

"Heh, maybe it has something really special planned for you."

No, it just won't let me die. Believe me I've tried.

(also this specific thing is playing over the scene)

[primojade]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄.

“ may the day where we discard all lies for good come soon. ”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 | romantic tropes that I think would fit them just right.

𝐂𝐖 / 𝐓𝐖 | gn!reader x albedo, wanderer, cyno and tighnari (separate); fluff, mild angst, pining, cursingcursing, kind of cheesy lmao; no proofread; let me know if I missed anything!

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 | This is a very self indulgent fic that I thought of while writing the next chapter of fallacies of love. And yes, I finished this first before that one �� btw, this may or may not have part 2 but for different characters ueue. If I find the motivation to write a continuation, that is xD

masterlist |

second chances to love

Two old friends meet again wearin' older faces. And talk about the places they've been. Two old sweethearts who fell apart somewhere long ago. How are they to know, someday they'd meet again. And have a need for more than reminiscin'.

Can two people finally find their shared happiness the second time around? Is there really a way to fully mend a heart broken by the past? Are second chances really the answer to the heartache that one carried in the present times?

Your relationship with Albedo unfortunately did not work out as you want it to, and as he put it with the Traveller, once a relationship starts to drift away, it will become bothersome. 

But can you really be blamed for why you fell for him? Albedo is a charming man, intelligent to a fault, a gentleman at heart, and your greatest source of inspiration. That's why when he started to show signs of interest in you unlike any other, you wholly welcomed it, cherished it in your heart even. The more time you spend with him, he shows you the other side of himself that he refuses to show to anyone else. The sliver of attention and dare say, love, that he shows you was enough to make your heart race. 

But alas, love alone was not enough, and you both know it—his mere attention is not enough to call…whatever this is…as "love". For only when your heart began to feel weary of his constant busy schedule that you realised that some love was not meant to hold onto. Love that could become your sweetest poison to indulge, love that will surely drift no matter how hard you hold on. And there is that kind of love that cannot be yours no matter how besotted you are.

You were tired waiting for him to decide, to pull you close to him, but when he deemed you too close, he would shoved you away. You got tired waiting for his decision to make, and in the end, it was not you. So, you did what you knew was best for the both of you. To end everything before it becomes to the point of no return.

Still, the heart is a very fickle and turbulent thing, artificial as it may, and just as love could bring you to the highest summits of happiness, Albedo found out that it could also bring you to the lowest depths of despair. For only when you were gone to his life that he realised that the love he took for granted was the one who gave him the true meaning of this world.

Shaking to the very core of his being was the ache that no alchemy nor chemical experiments could soothe, Albedo tries his best to move on, to pretend that everything is alright, pretending that all things will go back to the way it was once, but…

Maybe this time, it'll be lovin' they'll find. Maybe now they can be more than just friends. They're back in his life, and it feels so right. Maybe this time, love won't end.

But alas, time doesn't help when moving on, it does not help him heal, it only teaches him to live with the pain. Settling himself to be your friend does not cool down his flame, and when Albedo sees you smiling at him again, laughing and waiting for him, that flame burns even brighter than ever before. And this time, if he tried his best again…maybe this time, this promised love will never end.

“Maybe…maybe this time? Are you…willing to try again?" He asked, hope blooming and his artificial heart beating so fast in his chest it might as well jump to your hands and never leave again. This time…he will make sure to do everything right, and give you everything he had, this time.

“Because the only way to love someone unconditionally is to realise that it may be lost.”

friends to lovers

Do you remember when I said I'd always be there? Ever since we were ten, baby. When we were out on the playground playing pretend. Didn't know it back then.

“[Name], let's make haste. The weather today is too perfect for our weekly surveillance, and I do not trust you to not wander in the forest and accidentally poison yourself. So, you are coming with me.” 

You immediately noticed the peculiar twinkle in his bicoloured eyes, the lightest tint of pink on his cheeks, the twitch of his ears and the slight wag of his tail. All of his mannerisms are so familiar to the point that you could hear the barely concealed excitement in his usually stern tone. 

Perhaps it's because you have known him since you were both still in diapers? Tighnari has always been someone passionate at what he does, talented and smart and reliable, he was always there to help you even before you asked of him, hell, sometimes, even before you knew you yourself needed some help. He was that perceptive when it comes to you.

Even during the times he was busy with his research papers in the Akademiya, Tighnari would not hesitate to discard whatever he was doing in favour of knowing what was happening to you. He was even fussier than a mother, and would scold you harder than a father would. But as much as his lectures become weary at times, you know that it all comes with good sentiment for your well being, and for his love for you.

Love…for being his very first friend, you supposed. The very first person who saw him through all his hardships, his achievements, seeing him at his lowest and highest. It was supposed to make you feel happy and proud that he still chose you even though it felt like he became someone so…unreachable now. Capable, reliable and an akademiya scholar. And nowadays, the word 'friend' has merely brought bittersweet feelings and nostalgia to your heart.

Love…is not something he would be thinking right now. He was busy enough taking care of the forest and the former sages as it is, and professing your long-term feelings for your childhood friend was not something you would call a wise decision. You were not ready to risk your decades of friendship for something as fickle as love…

Now I realize you were the only one. It's never too late to show it. Grow old together, have feelings we had before. Back when we were so innocent. I pray for all your love. Our love is so unreal. I just wanna reach and touch you, squeeze you, somebody pinch me. This is something like a movie. And I don't know how it ends. But I fell in love with my best friend.

But even though he was supposed to have his hands full, even though you knew the right and logical actions to never disrupt the fine line between friends and lovers, the heart is not something that was meant to be repressed. Ever. 

But what it felt like endless nights of pining, of hopeless hoping, of days of being a lovestruck fool had ended when Tighnari, finally, had enough of your indecision and tiptoeing with him. There were no grand confession like what those Inazuman novels wrote in exaggeration, nor any special place he took you aside from the secret base that you two found as children before. But it felt just as special as he kissed you without reckless abandon, having exchanged the closeness of being friends, to the intimacy of being lovers, at last. 

“...If, hypothetically speaking, would you still choose to return home when I tell you that I wanted to keep you for myself?”

(denial) enemies to lovers.

I never knew life could be like this. Never thought that I would be the one that you would kiss. I never knew love could be so rough. But now I found the real thing I can't get enough.

The first time you met the General Mahamatra, you already knew that you two wouldn't get along. It's not because of his steadfast sense of justice and persistence, or the way he apprehends scholars who broke the academic rules, no, but it's because of how he glared and scowled at you worse than the criminals he set his eyes on. 

It does scare you a bit, especially when you knew to yourself that you did not do anything that would warrant his attention. Tighnari said that your research topic is safe enough, so you don't understand why…why is he so adamant at menacingly tailing you as if you didn't know he was watching you like a hawk in the library? Does he not realise that despite his short stature, ability to sneak undetected and blend in the background, he was basically standing out? And no, it's not because your eyes literally gravitate towards him and would be the first thing that you zoomed into when you knew he was nearby. It's definitely not that.

Though when you decided to bravely confront Cyno about his suspicious behaviour around you, he merely gave you a hard stare boring into your soul, scowling, before saying it's none of your business and walking off. You have never guessed the General Mahamatra is just so rude!! 

Though when you tell this discovery to Tighnari, frowning and fuming, the fennec therianthrope hide a barely concealed amused grin with a shake of his head and told you that's just the way Cyno is when he was faced with something that he didn't know how to handle and deal with…namely, his emotions and the actions that come with it. 

You decided to ignore the sly implications your friend was conveying to you, because there's just…no way that would ever happen! Though the reddening of your ears and the loud thundering of your heart didn't escape the Forest Watcher's observant eyes.

The sweetest surprise caught me tonight, right there in your eyes while I was kissing you. So don't say that you don't love, everything you dreamed of could be here.

"It isn't like what you think!" You exclaimed, defensive, eyes filled with horror as Tighnari smugly smirked at you. "I don't like the guy! He's irritating! And bossy! He's always picking on me! The only reason why I'm thinking of him is because surely, you're a lot nicer than him, unless we talk about your sass."

"Keep your reasons, [Name]." The fennec hybrid snickered when you glared at him. "I personally think you would not feel the need to compare someone to anyone if they weren't important. Really, my parents started like that."

You felt your whole face flushed in embarrassment. "Shut up. It doesn't mean—"

"Deny it as much as you like, but there's a very thin line between love and hate, you know. All those bickering, those exchanges of offending commentaries, calling each other names…" His grin turned wicked, before his eyes darted behind you. "Who knows? Perhaps you and Cyno are merely harbouring what we like to call…hmm…yes, adoration."

"The audacity! How could I adore that guy? There's no way!!" 

Perhaps it may take time. But even though you both were in deep denial, even with the thunderous lies crossing your lips and the faux masks he wore, someday…somewhere, when the time is right and when you felt a little braver, you could finally admit that you loved him too, from the very beginning.

“When you believe me when I say I disliked you, why can't you believe me all the same when I say I love you, too?”

stuck together

…And I tried to find out if this one thing is true. That I'm nothing without you. I know better now and I've had a change of heart…

Sometimes, it does get hard taking care of him, there was no doubt about that. When you accepted the job offered to you by the Dendro Archon herself of taking care and basically being a prison warden of the "false god" that tried to take over her own country, you dreadedly knew that this was not something like a walk in the park, the one-of-a-kind job that you've never handled before. 

But for the sake of not disappointing the newly-freed Archon, you tried your best to get along with your ward. He never ever told you his name, saying a lowly mortal like you doesn't deserve to know, and the few conversations you had with him were just full of insults, cruel remarks and if he's being somber enough to ignore your presence entirely, only silence remains between you two.

This same scenario had stretched over for months, and at this point, you were certain that this boy was merely testing your patience, if that annoying,  arrogant and knowing smirk was anything to go by.

Though little by little, you noticed a bit of changes in his attitude towards you. It takes a shit ton amount of time till he stop with his cutting words, and instead of calling you a 'weak worm' just like what he loves calling your fellow human beings, he would settled with 'stupid mortal' for you instead. His condescending remarks would tone down a bit as well; and at times when he feels like it, he would even answer your questions and inquiries. His good moods were literally just him allowing only you to share under the warm shade of his hat during the rainy days or when the sun is too high.

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else. I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself. I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart. I'd rather have the one who holds my heart.

Little by little, step by step that you barely noticed it, he would allow you to see a part of himself that he locked tightly centuries ago. During the restless nights when he was visited by nightmares he long to forget, he would wordlessly seek out your company, and you knew better than to ask him and pester him what was wrong. Deep inside, when this happened, he was grateful that you didn't pry any further. 

This was a routine that you both fell comfortably with, albeit started as a weird, and exasperating one. Cutting insults slowly turned into playful bickerings, his rude name calling became a little affectionate, and sometimes, just sometimes, he would begrudgingly allow you to hold him in an embrace to keep him grounded and sane. 

There was one time that he accidentally fell asleep on you in this position, while running your fingers through his surprisingly soft and silky hair, and the dumbfounded expression on his face when he woke up leaning on you was so worth the numbness of your body the whole night. He then proceeds to threaten you to never speak of this event ever again (especially to anyone or else!) his ears turning adorably red and his face flaming with embarrassment, to your amusement.

These moments are both precious and irreplaceable to both of you, and when the time comes that he could finally find it in himself to completely trust, to trust you fully, once again…maybe it would also be the time that he would trust you with his name, at long last.

“They're the person who held me at my weakest, their eyes saw me at my darkest, and after all of that, they're the one who continued to love me at my worst.” 

TAGLIST (let me know if you want to be added in my future works!): @samarill , @maehemthemisfit , @chocogi , @rvoulte ...

[itsclydebitches]

Hi. Feel free to totally ignore to ignore this ask I just needed to vent to someone. Have a great day! 

I hate little. (Or somewhat now). I hate this stupid mouse that accomplished nothing for the entire volume.

They were a terrible guide, they weren't funny, they were ugly. And they didn't help Ruby at all.(honestly I would also talk for hours on how much I hated Ruby depression arc especially her breakdown but that's not important now) Hell for the most part I forgot they were even there.

And honestly I probably wouldn't care that much if it wasn't for the fact that then they try to tug our heartstrings by having Neo stomp them.

No! I don't care! This scene was already traumatic enough you seriously didn't need that!

Then they try to connect with this theme how the smallest act can impact someone's life. Which I call bias cuz the only thing Rwby did for them was to give them cheese. They tag along on their own after being lost. Ruby wanted them to leave but they insisted and that got them killed.

And it's not like the paper pleasers who were unhappy about their lives and wanted to ascend little was rather fulfilled and happy with his life. Then wtf all that was for.

Also they shouldn't have wasted an episode of rwby beyond on them.

Please vent away! :D

Little feels like such a wasted opportunity to me (if, you know, we resign ourselves to having some version of Volume 9) because:

a) I love cute familiar-like characters b) I love the fairy tale, butterfly effect lesson of 'One small act can lead to huge results, often times in ways you'll never fully understand' c) Little is the one consistent new character the group gets this Volume and thus should, by virtue of being the first they meet/the longest to hang around, the most developed and significant to the conflict.

But they're functionally useless. Worse, they're boring and (to me) annoying. Ruby helps Little get some cheese. Cute meeting! Would love to better understand why they're trying to gather food when they clearly can't do it on their own and why their tribe is otherwise engaged in hunting Blake (she barely even looks like a cat! Her ears blend into her hair and everything else is human!). Looking back, it feels like there are seeds of Little being an outsider here (why are they gathering alone when that's clearly a multi-mouse endeavor? Is it unusual for a mouse to not have a purpose at their age?), which would have helped to explain their motivation for leaving with Ruby, but as it stands it all just feels so rushed and disjointed.

In repayment for the cheese, Little agrees to be Team RWBY's guide. Great, that's very logical and helpful! Except Little spends the whole Volume engaging in a sleeping gag and reminding the girls (the viewer) that they don't actually know anything outside of their tiny territory.

They're emotionally available to Ruby when she's at her lowest? Sort of, but beyond whether you think those scenes feel forced or not (I personally do), I question why that role isn't given to someone we already care about. You all know I've got plenty to say about the previous Volume, but at least those later episodes had the wherewithal to send Yang after Ruby on the staircase. I honestly believe that part of the reason why some people are upset with Yang's response to the depression arc is not simply what she does do (compare Ruby to Ironwood, physically imply that she's siding with Blake, seemingly ignore Ruby's VERY obvious symptoms, etc.), but what she doesn't do too. By giving Ruby this new companion and trying to make Little an emotional center of the Volume, it deprives the other characters (including Ruby's sister) with that role. Granted, it could have been compelling to double-down on those feelings of alienation, culminating in Yang witnessing Ruby's suicide and regretting the choices that lead them there... but the show decided to turn Ruby's "ascension" into this supposedly feel-good moment instead.

Their death is the tipping point that sends Ruby over the edge? I admittedly like the idea. Giving us a small animal, one that many people are afraid of/find nasty, and equating it to a 'simple soul' could have helped sell the idea that all life - ALL LIFE - is precious. Hell, I wonder if it would have been better if Little was just a mouse. No talking, no magic, nothing but an (arguably) cute animal for the audience to cheer for. I can imagine a version of the dining room scene where Ruby is haunted by the people who have died, but she's also still centered enough to argue how those deaths weren't her fault, only for Neo to senselessly kill this little mouse on top of everything else. Maybe it scurries over when Ruby is beaten and bloody, gives her a little lick, something akin to a smile, this moment where she's connecting with a soul that is literally simple, and vulnerable, and doesn't care what Ruby may or may not have done because it's just another creature she's trying to protect... and then crunch comes the boot. It's a completely unnecessary act of cruelty on Neo's fault and the audience must sit with the death of an animal (something that always tugs at the heartstrings) rather than the arguable relief of being rid of Little.

Don't even get me started on their ascension. It straight up doesn't make sense and has the same kind of 'rule' structure as wishing for Penny to get a new body.

[bring-forth-your-justice]

Can I request a fem!reader comforting Atsushi when he's feeling lime a monster? Please???

This took a little longer to put up, mostly cuz I got sidetracked but better late than never-

Note: might need a little editing

TW// Just sad thoughts

word count: 900

Kindness was something only afforded to the well-off, those who had a future, and those who had a choice. 

Atsushi was neither.

A boy born alone was destined to die alone and lay beside souls akin to his. That was the only thing that he was granted at birth. At first he had no demands, no autonomy and no desire for it either. In a way he was content; in the sense that he felt such depths of despair that he knew there would never be anything better awaiting him. 

No matter how many tears he would shed while in that deplorable excuse for an orphanage, he only chose to blame himself for ever being born. He could never ask to receive a sliver of kindness, not as long as he was who he was;

a monster. 

Such thoughts left a mixture bittersweet tastes on his tongue, one in which he writhed in. When it settled in his mouth, refusing to leave, he took it as another punishment he deserved for being born.  

How someone could love something as pathetic as him was a joke that even the lowest of scums would have dying in a fit of laughter. 

No matter how long it had been since he left that damned orpahnage, regardless of how many people he had found who showed him love and kindness, regardless of intent, he could never push aside his resentment for himself. 

He was born a monster, not a boy. At least if he were, he would be afforded that tiny grace. Instead, Atsushi would be damned for his entire life for being born as something that brought ruin and danger.

Constantly did he run a race against himself. Not only was he his own victim, but the monster that desired only his blood. A never-ending cycle; stretching on until the day he stops regenerating his limbs and elongating his own suffering.

He never asked for an ability that would bring destruction to everything and everyone nearby, including himself. It was the reason he wasn’t afforded even human decency. It was why no one dared to glance in his direction, yet eyes would continue to haunt him, watching him intently with judgment and the desire to watch him perish.

Sometimes all he wanted was to scream into a void of nothing,

 “I never asked for this-!”

Again and again and again until his voice would give in and he would have nothing left of himself.

How long had it been since he grew to think of such horrid thoughts?

Did he ever love himself?

It was almost as if his memories were a barricade of what the world told him to remember. The torment, the suffering, the loathing. Lest he ever love himself or that beast that took respite inside him. Where were those memories of peace and comfort? He wasn’t sure they ever existed; but if they did, he so desperately wanted them back.

To change was all he could do now. It wasn’t too late was it?

Even if the world wanted him dead, he wanted to fight for a reason to exist. Even if he felt his thoughts slowly comply to the orders of the world, he would fight with himself for the sake of them, for her. 

They say that only fools are satisfied, and he was no fool to give in so easily, not yet at least. Not as long as he basked in her brilliant grace which bubbled his heart away from the disgruntled waves that came to wash him away.

“Your ability is a grace my love, a grace made to protect you in the world. A gift only granted to you because only you can make peace with it.”

Her words rang out, a symphony awaking him from a self-induced trance. Her embrace assuring him that he had not yet departed from this world yet, and neither would he have to. 

“You belong in this world, should you choose to believe it or not. Even if you deny its validity, know that you’ll always have a spot next to me.”

Was he awake?

How long had he been trapped inside his mind? 

It didn’t really matter, not when those thoughts were as fickle and fictitious as the painted shadows he cast on those he was scared to touch. Once again, he chose to flip the page, one darkened by his mind, and carry on. Swinging her hand from side to side, he walked beside her, the shadows that trailed after him all burnt up and dried somewhere far behind him, to a destination unknown. 

No matter how many times he fell to his thoughts, and his memories, and trapped himself in the depths of his mind, exactly where the beast could degrade his status as a person, she always found a way through that maze right to him.

In the end, he knew that one day both of them would rot away like fallen leaves, but regardless, all he desired was to live on frantically.

Shouldering their lives together, 

Living on,

Even if he was hated by life itself.

[trashlie]

heyooo it's lil anon again 😼 sorry for disappearing for a while. hope you've been well, though! <3 i'm glad you enjoyed my shinae powerpoint headcanons, your reaction made me smile so much my cheeks hurt LMAO

on anti-hero nol, i'm actually 100% with you! i'm a firm believer in "living well is the best revenge" and i *need* to see this character heal and find peace :( </3 it's just the possibility of it hanging over his head that appeals to me; him coming close to tipping over, being aware that he could go down this path and would have all the reasons and justifications to do it, but then still choosing not to. but yeah hopefully he doesn't cross that line and becomes a dying star like you put it so beautifully ;A; what do you think of the possibility of him becoming the ceo btw? there has been some foreshadowing, but personally i don't see current nol being happy in a position like that, he hates this entire environment too much. also i just don't like the idea of him becoming a venture capitalist lmao ;; that patreon post of the trio post-timeskip and nol being dressed in casual clothes (instead of business-like like shin and kou) kinda aligns with my thoughts, but i know it's very flimsy lol. also crazy thought but walk with me for a second. capitalism being evil aside, what if in a turn of events shinae becomes the ceo instead? wouldn't that be wild for SO many reasons? listen, chances are low but never zero! 😋

re: alyssa... first of all, thank you for your detailed commentary, i completely agree with what you said about her circumstances, sexuality, need to fit in etc. and it's great that you like her and are optimistic about her, i genuinely mean it! the main reason i don't vibe with alyssa is that she uses people as stepping stones to climb higher and never lifts them up with her. for example, when she started hanging out with more people in middle school, she could've used her "improved" social standing to help shinae. she could've introduced her, been like "hey this girl is actually really cool guys give her a chance". but instead she started ignoring shinae, basically tried to get rid of her when she didn't need her anymore. yeah, she kind of defended shinae once, but that's not enough for me. you can say maybe she feared losing her new status, or was scared of her feelings, or was simply too immature, but i think she really should know what it's like to be an outcast, what it's like to be alone. and it bothers me that she basically just left shinae behind when she moved up. same thing when she met nol/soushi/dieter; she latched on to nol to benefit from his family and then started ignoring him, doing the bare minimum to not lose that connection. we've never actually seen her with soushi/dieter. i wouldn't be surprised if she's never even contacted them after becoming a trainee/mingling with the upper class. her desperate need to fit in and aspiring power are meh but understandable, but it's the lack of gratitude and empathy that just bothers me :// like these are all people who were kind to her when she was at her lowest, yet this is how she treats them? she just... takes it all for granted and never gives back? some might say she doesn't owe them anything, but to me, it's just basic decency. not to sound cheesy, but... climb the ladder all you want, just don't forget who was there for you when you were at the bottom :/ and yeah i'd still love for her to free herself from yui and grow as a person (and ideally end her comphet era), but i also wonder if there's even space for major alyssa development...

i also saw your recent post on the entire shinae dieter nol/romantic development thing fiasco and hoo boy you are so right. tbh what also really bothers me (on top of the hypocrisy and ableism) is how people tend to strip female characters of their agency 💀 like... how about we let shinae have her own preferences and make her own choices, even if it contradicts with what we'd personally do in her situation? instead of inserting ourselves via her and simultaneously centering everything around the guys??

this might ruffle some feathers. while i respect everyone's preferences, concerns, and opinions, it seems to me like some people who vehemently want shinae and dieter to be canon (or want nol and shinae to stay platonic) just... don't see the bigger picture here. like, nol and shinae are supposed to be the counterpart to rand and nessa. they're supposed to break free from yui and achieve the happiness rand and nessa tragically couldn't. in the context of the full story, them being lovers has a significant narrative purpose. don't get me wrong, i really don't believe that *all* ships need to have a narrative purpose, or that it makes a ship better, not at all! and it doesn't mean everyone has to *like* this ship, but it's important to understand that there is a reason why it's these two characters and not anyone else. i know this is very meta and i don't blame readers for not seeing the parallels (yet) because the hints have been very subtle, but once you realize it, you just can't unsee it... and sure, i don't know how the story will go, i might be completely wrong. but i'd be surprised if quim misses out on the opportunity to explore this parallel after setting it up. idk. what are your thoughts?

oh gosh, i talked so much again. alright. peace out - lil anon 😼

AHHHHH Lil Anon!!! I've missed you!!!! I hope you've been well! I got so excited when I opened tumblr and saw a new message notification because I was so hopeful it would be you! I haven't been able to pull myself together to talk about the recent episodes (which is a shame because I am LOVING them!) but I think this is gonna give me the head space to do it, now!!! Sometimes you just gotta dip your toe in and then the full brainrot goes STRONG!

what do you think of the possibility of him becoming the ceo btw? there has been some foreshadowing, but personally i don't see current nol being happy in a position like that, he hates this entire environment too much.

BOY DO I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS! I'm very much with you, here. Just like I'm not into the idea of Nol being an anti-hero and his story being about revenge, I can't see him becoming CEO. I think people want it because the whole taking from Kousuke what he wants*, defying Yui's intentions, the David and Goliath of it all and I get that but - right. I want Nol to live WELL, I want him to live HAPPILY. I don't want him in a career that he doesn't love the way Kousuke has been, I don't want him in an environment that doesn't appeal to him. And maybe we're wrong - maybe there's a part of him that feels comfortable and will thrive, but from what little he's said of it, when he told Shinae he doesn't feel like it he fits in to this world really he's just putting on that mask, playing that role, it makes me feel like it's not his ideal setting. And, yes, I have considered the Patreon illustration as part of this. I know this was work for a client so we can only glean so much from it - is she really using it as a glimpse of the future? I like to think so!

But something I've been thinking a LOT about re: this current arc is that we will at some point see Nol, Kousuke, and Shinae as a team. I've always thought she's going to be that bridge, but I think Nol and Kousuke themselves are going to find their ways to peace and healing.... but it's gonna be a long road lol. But something I've been talking about with another reader is that we could have the trio set up where Kousuke acts as a double agent and Corporate World Shinae is the eyes and ears for Nol who I think may not join in the corporate world. Now, I can't be more detailed about how I think this would work because I am not a corporate person at alllll lmao but I think there's something soooo satisfying about the idea of Kousuke following the path Yui intended, but to turn around and use that power to dismantle her. Could he (and Shinae) quietly amass allies? Could he enact policy change that would somehow oppose her or her methods? Where does Nol come into this? Look idk I gotta see what the future holds LMAO but I've come to really love this idea of them being a team beneath Yui's nose, of Yui's little creation taking everything she taught him everything she instilled in him and using it against her lmaoooo

Hear me out, okay? I know right now it seems like Nol has wiped his hands of Kousuke, has said too little too late that's not changing. But Nol is under the impression that Yui loves Kousuke. He's under the impression that Kousuke has always had his needs met, that she'd do anything for him, that she has always treated him like a prince. But we know now that's not the case. We can see that Kousuke never had that warm, loving relationship with Yui that Nol had with Nessa. And with the theory that Yui has been drugging Kousuke become more and more likely, I think Nol will have a change of heart whenever things come to light, whenever he realizes that Kousuke, too, has been very much a victim of Yui, that he was denied things that even Nol had for a short time. I don't think it means immediate forgiveness, but I think Nol would be able to find a formidable ally in someone who also cannot trust Yui further than he could throw her, who has been used and neglected by her.

There's a lot I hope for with the tragic siblings lmao. Nol has always felt Kousuke was the favored one, the one lavished in love when his was taken away. But Kousuke had always felt that Nol had the easy life, that because he didn't have to earn Rand's love (because he thought Nol had once done it) his life was easy, no burden or expectations. But once they both get that out of the way, once they see how the other has lived? What could be more glorious than the two people Yui set to make enemies of each other teaming up to destroy her with Shinae?

I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!

That said I've never considered the idea of Shinae as CEO! Like Nol, I don't think it's quite something she'd want - I really just. Like the idea of Shinae helping people, but if she's going to stay in the corporate world like we think, then what would she be doing? Would she remain as Kousuke's assistant? Would she find that she has strength in something else? I'm really curious to see what her path is, because I don't know if this is going to be a "discover a strength you didn't realize you possessed" kind of deal or a "stay in this world so that you can defeat the evil and then figure yourself out" kind of thing.

Since Nol intended to follow in Rand's footsteps - was it his own empty hope that maybe he could make Rand see him for who he is, to be proud of him for once? or is it that this IS what he wants? Is that what he's going to do after prison? I'm so insatiably curious about this part of the future - where will everyone be? What are their intentions?! That image on patreon lives rent free at the back of my mind lmao like it's just SO intriguing to me, and how Nol seems so lax compared to Shinae but they're still linked to each other? I WANT TO SEE THE FUTURE SO BADLY!

When it comes to Alyssa, don't worry, I definitely get this! Like... there are DEFINITELY reasons to dislike Alyssa - I just always ask that people who dislike her dislike her for those reasons lmao like. I feel like so often she's gotten dislike simply because she "stands in the way of a ship" (which is... lmao hard to argue at this point of the story).

but i think she really should know what it's like to be an outcast, what it's like to be alone.

I think this is why I really want to see the story go to a place where Alyssa does have that fall from grace - where Sarah Lee of all people brings up bullying allegations and Alyssa's fans turn on her. Both because she has to, at some point, realize that conditional love is not going to fill the void she's trying to fill, and yes, because at some point if she's to grow, she NEEDS to contend with being alone - really alone, with only herself. I also agree that we may not have that in this story. I know I've discussed this before but it's very likely there are characters who won't see a "redemption arc". I just hope we get to see her grow, that maybe if she faces what she's been so afraid of, she'll finally see what she took for granted, what she didn't appreciate. I don't think it's likely that she'll win people over as fans lol but I guess I just acknowledge that I enjoy some really messy girls so I can't hold that against others who don't lmaoooo Alyssa is one of those characters who I think I'm as critical of as I enjoy, because what makes her so fascinating to me is the ways that she is uhhh... not a great friend, not a great partner lmaooo but I can't help but want to see her do better, be better. But I genuinely don't think it will happen unless she can find that comfort with herself.

And I guess that IS the thing about why I like her - there's something so very human about her that even if I don't approve of what she does, even if I hope for her to make changes, I understand why she is, and why she may never. But look, I acknowledge I'm a very hopeful person for some reason hah!

like... how about we let shinae have her own preferences and make her own choices, even if it contradicts with what we'd personally do in her situation? instead of inserting ourselves via her and simultaneously centering everything around the guys??

The funny thing about this is - this is how shipping has ALWAYS been. I know I was guilty of it when I was younger, too. I'm not even sure when I changed, but just that I was one day very aware of shipping debates that went "Well, I just don't think he's very masculine and I personally don't like him so I ship her with the other guy" and right like at that point... go write your self-insert fic, friend! That's clearly what you want, that's okay! Go write it! Shipping is fun and I'm not going to accuse people who get very into media for shippy reasons for reading for the wrong reasons or something, but right like... at the end of the day is it about YOUR preferences or is it about what makes most sense with the characters?

Like, I know whenever I talk about my shipping feelings I always preface that frankly, I don't think Shinae and Nol are in the place FOR a relationship right now. Nol is still trying to hide his feelings, Shinae isn't aware of hers. I think ultimately when people ship things, they ship them in a best case scenario. Like, shipping them doesn't mean I NEED them to confess and start dating right now - it means I hope that eventually that outcome may be, but I'm enjoying their interactions, I'm enjoying how they affect each other, I'm enjoying how their relationship affects the story.

And yeah! From a meta point, it's really clear that parallel has been set in motion. And definitely, shipping based on literature device is not a reason TO ship - but I think it just plays into what makes them shippable? Because yeah we see them mirroring something that was ultimately tragic, something with a ripple effect so vast it's caught all of these people in the waves, and we want to see it go differently. We see Nol falling into his father's footsteps whether or not he realizes it and we want to see him stop that, we want to see the generational cycle ended. And as a device it works BECAUSE of what they mean to each other, what their chemistry is. It gives us an idea of what Rand and Nessa were like, and we end up hoping that Shinae can be to Nol what Nessa couldn't be to Rand. What could have happened if they'd been able to be a team, if they'd been able to deal with the obstacles around them.

And that's what makes a story! If a story was meant to be about the easiest routes, the "safest" or "healthiest" routes, would there be any story? And I say safest or healthiest that way because we don't know that Dieter and Shinae WOULD be any healthier. Like, yeah Dieter is straight forward about Shinae and he doesn't have a reason to hide or deny his feelings. But by virtue of being a more well-adjusted character, it's likely to be harder for Dieter to understand or deal with Shinae's particular baggage. It's not just about if one half of this relationship is "stable" because Shinae, too, has baggage. That's why we see Nol and Shinae drawn to each other on that emotional level even when they don't realize it right away - Shinae understands Nol's skittishness, why he pushes people away and isolates himself, because she's been there. Likewise, we've see that he understands when she isolates herself, when she put her walls back up to him and he made her take them down.

There's so many things I could - and maybe will one day - write about how the thing about Nol and Shinae is that they operate on the same frequency. Dieter provides security, that's definitely true. But security is not the end all of relationships, and it's not what everyone seeks, either. To some people, that's too safe, too healthy lol.

But right, between the writing acknowledging that Nol and Shinae operate on the same frequency, how they're able to understand and accept the way the other is and the very obvious parallel to Rand and Nessa set up, it's clear that this route provides more story. Again, like you said, that's not a reason TO necessarily ship something, but the set up is done not in spite of what Dieter and Shinae could be. It doesn't sacrifice a chunk of story for nothing, you know?

idk I have a lot of thoughts that maybe I'll get down one day but right, that's what it really comes down to. The parallel between Nessa/Rand and Shinae/Nol wouldn't work as well if they didn't have that chemistry, if they didn't respond to each other the way they do. It's the way Shinae continues to try to reach him even when he tries to push her away. It's the stupid way he tries to push her away but has that tendency to fold. It's the way she brings him that comfort and peace, and how he brought out of a part of her she was too afraid to ever let out again. I don't think I'd be much into the pairing at this point if it seemed to me that Shinae had no stock in it, if it didn't have pay off for her. If it was constantly being hurt with no sign of him ever changing? But she herself has made the resolution to keep trying, to find a new approach, to break down his walls like he did for her. And frankly? She's never really seemed to like things coming to her easy has she alfjkfakjfaj LMAO

At the end of the day, it's about Shinae's choices. It's not about what is healthiest, what is more stable, who has hurt who. It's about who want to be with each other \o/ It's fine to be disappointed if she doesn't end up dating Dieter, but yeah, it feels weird for the discourse to end up being "Dieter liked her first" or "He's more stable" instead of it being "Oh no poor Dieter, it looks like Shinae has developed feelings for his friend :(" or something that allows her to have her agency.

(Also I hate the "so and so liked them first" because it also removes the agency of the other person. Dieter liked her first, it's true, but if he wound up liking his friend, and his friend wound up liking her, does that mean they can never be together? Dieter will not be hung up on Shinae for the rest of his life, I am sure. In the same way that Dieter has been comfortable and secure for Shinae, I think she was similar to him, too. She made him feel seen. And there will be others who will make him feel seen, too. His heart will heal and he will be okay. Acting like it's a cardinal sin for Nol to have inadvertently developed feelings is so afljkakfjjkaf? If he could control his feelings that way, then he would have used to that control to not care about them like he so badly wanted to lmao. If he could control his feelings, he would have done everything in his power to stop! alfkjkafkjafjkf see this is why I'm gonna wind up writing an essay one day. YOU THINK NOL INTENDED TO FALL FOR SHINAE?! He only just realized that's what's happened lmao you think he schemed for this? You think he pointedly did things to make her like him so he could "steal" her from someone she isn't dating? YELLS)

[cosmicmordecai]

Whose idea was it at the time to put it into reference Khalid wasn’t the strongest version of Doctor Fate in DC? By all accounts, none of that made sense.

Khalid is one of the few Doctor Fates that had magic regardless of the helm without significant mystic intervention.

Kent had zero ability so Nabu gave him some.

Jared has NO spell-casting power.

Eric is fucking 12 mentally and chronologically.

Linda & Kent V. are normal ass person.

Only Hector & Inza ever displayed a level of magic on their own. Khalid has some potential to bolster just for being him compared to about half of the others, who literally needed intervention by Nabu or something else to make them capable. By the time that came out, it was already depicted that Nabu purposely chose Kent to manipulate and shape him to be what he wanted. By all accounts, he is intentionally seen as blank slate for Nabu to alter and manipulate his body down to the molecule, physically and mentally molding him in Nabu's image. That whole point is an admission Kent had nothing special and he's the super powerful cool one. Khalid should be potentially one of the most powerful on that ALONE.

Hector got to be extra special because his reincarned parents were Hawk and Dove and gave him super cool magic inherent powers , nevermind the fact that he was conceived through sexual assault with Hawk being possessed that never got addressed. They still let him be super special but Khalid is the weakest?

Khalid's debut storyline also gave him the showcase of circumstances that allowed him to beat a god in his most powerful place of power, said god cowering and calling him master, and could literally take his place in the underworld because of his pharaoh bloodline. That's way more of an impressive first big adventure showing than Eric/Linda managing to pull Anti-Fate away from the helm or Kent V.'s thing with Nergal where we don't even know how he defeated him. It does not quite stand with Hector, who magicked out of the womb, got aged up, and was a complete novice that beat Mordru, the most powerful sorcerer ever period.

Even when Khalid was a newbie, he could manipulate the elements for creative solutions and stop time with some lessons from Kent. Compared to Eric, struggling eternally and dying to fucking Parademons and DeSaad, the only mf on Darkseid team who is weaksause in anything that isn't torturing and simping, with Nabu as his teacher, Linda being halved in power and then having next to no power on her own when she was by herself briefly, or Kent V. repeating spells bc he doesn't know any better for a time and canonically grilled for being unable to properly teleport in and out of hell or do better than fucking shoot magic lasers (granted, I'm on his side. He's new with no damn teacher. What do you expect?). And again, JARED had no spell-casting abilities. He's the only Fate who canonically only thows hands or weapons.

So someone explain to me how Khalid would rank the lowest? It's really fucking funny how Eric/Linda and Kent V. has official descrptions for their incarnations that explicitly states they're among the most powerful magic users on Earth (others including Inza and Hector also) but Khalid doesn't. Most things wanna talk about how he's new to the role and shit but uh...so was literally everyone not OG Kent and they all would still say they were super powerful sorcerers.

This just reeks of the fact that since Khalid is a PoC in a legacy mantle, him (like Miles Morales in the past), he has to "work" his way up in a way even his white counterparts didn't have too. He too is a chosen one has powers that should make him more comparable to Inza/Hector's version of Doctor Fate but he gets placed lower than Jared AND Eric/Linda in POWER? Please.

[graftisms]

BEACH HUT CONFESSIONALS 12: JOSHUA VARGAS DAY THIRTY-FOUR

how are you feeling in your decision to couple up or stay single ?

“ really fucking good, actually, ”   josh laughs, unable to hide the pride from his voice.   “ things with naomi have been better than i had thought they’d be. it’s like we’re back in the first few weeks of being here, getting to know each other, but she’s no longer holding back from me. the hideaway was... wow, that place is insane. i hope you guys powerwash everything in there afterwards, ”   he smirks.   “ i had been a little afraid we got it at a shitty time, after the mali stuff, but i think it made us stronger than ever. i’m just... yeah, i’m really happy. ”   as if the big grin on his lips doesn’t show it enough.

are you happy in your couple or do you think your head could be turned ?

he’s quick to shake his head.   “ no, thank you. no more bombshells for me. naomi and i aren’t even coupled up right now, granted, but when i told her she was it for me here, i meant it. if she had left last night like rhys, i would’ve pulled a seb too. one of the few things i’ve ever respected him to do, frankly. but i’m also not in a rush to recouple with naomi, because it gives us an excuse to sleep outside, away from everyone else... ”   his voice trails off, with another smug smile.   “ let’s just say we’ve been making use of the alone time. ”   not that it’s going to stop them in the bedroom, either. 

what are your thoughts on seb & bash & rhys’ exit last night ? 

the smile on his lips wilts a bit.   “ uh, i think you can guess how i feel about that. it sucked seeing rhys go, obviously. even today, i keep expecting him to pop up wherever i go. making my coffee this morning ?   sucked. he was one of the few friends i had when i was at my lowest here, so yeah, ”   josh swallows,   “ i’m gonna miss the guy. even if he’s off getting laid with his new boyfriend in jersey or doing wherever. seb’s still on my shit list, though, even if him leaving with rhys was a good move. i don’t care what people think about naomi, but if he keeps running his mouth about her, he’s going to find me on his doorstep once i get out of here. ”   and not in the fun visit rhys way.   “ but bash was a good kid, i’ll miss him too. i told him he should’ve brought back another bombshell. this whole thing could’ve ended differently. ”

out of everyone left, who would be the hardest person to see go ?

“ you mean besides naomi ? ”   he asks, already knowing the answer to that. josh has already made it clear her leaving would be the end of the line for him, too.   “ romi and marcus, for sure. we’ve all been here since the beginning now, i’d kill me not to have them by my side, romi especially. though i don’t know what she’s doing with marcus and the italian dude over there, but hopefully she lets one of them off the hook soon. i vote mario, ”   he snorts.   “ miles, too. he’s only been here for, what, a week ?   and i can’t imagine being here without him, especially with rhys gone. frankie too, i guess. ”   spoken like an afterthought.   “ she’s grown on me. ”

who seems like the strongest couple right now and why ?

“ with marcus and romi in limbo, i don’t think there’s a clear winner, ”   he considers the question, scratching the back of his neck.   “ maybe i’m biased, but i do think once we’re actually coupled up together, naomi and i have a pretty clear advantage. everyone else is just so new. miles and frankie seem pretty strong, too, but it could be because i hang out with them so much. they’re the same brand of weird, ”   josh shrugs.   “ i still vote naomi and me. i don’t care what people say. ”

who seems like the weakest couple right now and why ?

“ well, i think the public made that one kind of obvious. gotta say, i was surprised to see dylan and adela below naomi and charlene, but that probably just means people like naomi more, which i get, ”   he smirks.   “ maybe adela will listen to me now when i tell her to keep her options open. no offense to dylan, but he’s starting to look like a bad luck charm in these relationships. ”   so much for friendship there.

[foxy-exy]

You don’t have to say you love me (I just wanna tell you somethin’) - Kevaaron

Aaron could have predicted that pretending to date Kevin Day to get back at Andrew would backfire. He just didn't think it would backfire like this.

Another present fic for @starsandgutters !!

It started off as irritation. A prickle of annoyance. After all, Aaron thought, why was his brother allowed to have his stupid little boyfriend who gave him sappy little looks and brushed his fingers when they thought no one was looking? When Andrew spent so much energy and time driving off each and every girl Aaron had ever even smiled at?

When he woke up to Josten curled up in Andrew’s bed, he felt the anger begin to simmer in his chest.

And when he finally walked in on them kissing, Aaron Minyard knew something had to be done.

***

“I’m sick of this.”

Kevin looked up at the slam of Aaron’s hands on the kitchen counter, a ghost of a wince startling him out of his intent perusal of a book — one that looked suspiciously like some kind of soapy dollar store romance. Aaron raised an eyebrow at the chiselled man with an Exy racquet slung across his shoulders plastered across the cover, and Kevin cleared his throat and flipped the book over.

“Sick of, uh, sick of what?”

“Them. Josten being all over Andrew.”

Kevin looked mildly disturbed. “You didn’t… they weren’t…”

Aaron mimed vomiting. Imagine walking in on that. “Oh god, no. They were just making out. But it’s pissing me off. At this point, I feel like they need a taste of their own fucking medicine.”

Kevin lifted a dark eyebrow, uncomprehending. “What do you mean?”

Aaron considered him over the top of his laced fingers.

It wasn’t Kevin’s fault that Aaron and Katelyn had tearfully decided several months ago that the sneaking around just wasn’t worth the effort — attempting to keep their relationship up at a distance wasn’t working, so they’d parted ways. And it also wasn’t Kevin’s fault that he was now the only one who wasn’t related to Aaron that he actually exchanged more than two regular words with.

But the plan that had been quietly brewing in the very back corner of Aaron’s head for several weeks now was, admittedly, immensely helped by Kevin being Kevin. The fact that it was Kevin — of anyone Aaron could hatch this particular plot with — would piss Andrew off like no other.

And ultimately, that was the utmost goal.

“Kevin, what if I were to tell you…”

***

“What.”

“Look, I’ll help you with studying. Or — or something. I don’t know, what do you want? I’ll get you merch for your favorite team. Something for Knox, or whatever? You can put it on your little shrine.”

“This is ridiculous,” Kevin said, but he suddenly looked a little pinker than he was before. “I don’t have a…a shrine.”

Aaron opened his mouth to make a comment about how he didn’t know what else the entire inside of Kevin’s wardrobe was supposed to be, but now was the time to let things like that go. “I know Andrew and Josten piss you off too. If they figured out they needed to chill out with each other, maybe they’d do more practice with you.”

Kevin looked to be considering the proposition, finally, narrowing his far-away eyes thoughtfully down at the shirtless Exy player, only slightly concealed on the counter by one hand. At last, he said haltingly, “Couldn’t you…ask someone else?”

The uncertainty was Aaron’s in. He pushed forward, throwing another Kevin bait into the mix. “If you do it, I’ll practice extra with you too.”

Kevin’s eyes narrowed again, snapping up to sharpen on Aaron’s face. He had him. “I don’t know if you could keep up.”

“Oh my god, you asshole, that’s the point. I’ll put in more effort, you can show me how.”

“You’ll join night practices?” Kevin tilted his head.

A twinge of nervous anxiety in Aaron’s stomach. “I mean, I can’t do it all the time, I have to study, because unlike the rest of you all, my classes actually matter outside of a minimum GPA. But sure, whatever. Sometimes I’ll let you drag me along. If you do this.”

“This is ridiculous,” Kevin sighed again, as he stuck out his hand for Aaron to shake.

“So is your book,” deadpanned Aaron.

(Though if he had to chew his lip nearly to bleed to bite back a smile when Kevin dove to escape with his smut novel with a sputter and a glare, it was no one’s business but his own.)

***

“Greek salad and the turkey sandwich, here you two are. Enjoy.”

Kevin was sporting a sour scowl strong enough to wilt the salad the cafe waiter had placed in front of him — like getting treated to lunch was the lowest part of his week.

Maybe it was, he’d probably prefer to carry out this plan on the court. After all, Kevin preferred to do most things on the court.

Now that Aaron thought about it, Josten preferred the same. Perhaps the next part of this plan could happen on the court. At least Kevin would look less like he wanted to be five miles away from him, which really ruined the entire point of this exercise.

“They usually get coffee here around this time, so we just need to be a little convincing when they show up,” Aaron muttered, once more glancing furtively over his shoulder for Andrew and his annoying redheaded shadow. “But before they get here, Kevin, you did agree to at least pretend to fake date me. Maybe drop the murder glare, it’s not very romantic.”

“What am I even supposed to do?” Kevin hissed, but his glare dropped in favor of the same flavor of embarrassment Aaron recognized from his Knox shrine, eyes darting to Aaron’s face and back away, on repeat.

Aaron scoffed. “You’ve dated before. You were dating — what’s her name, Thea, weren’t you?”

“Not like this,” Kevin mumbled, beginning to shred his napkin.

Aaron watched him shower paper confetti across the tabletop, biting back his own surprise. Granted, Aaron had only seen Thea once or twice before Kevin had ended things with her, and their relationship had never seemed anything like Aaron’s often short lived but whirlwind style romances. Kevin and Thea had read aloof power couple at best, and… dangerously close to toxic old Raven headspace for Kevin at worst.

But still… Kevin Day, unsure of dating. Unsure of himself. A strange sight indeed.

“Well. We’ll figure it out. First, here.” Aaron slid an open palm across the table, and Kevin stared down at it like it was a foreign object.

“Hold my hand. It’s not going to bite you.” No movement, but Aaron knew how to play to his audience. “Or are you not up to the challenge?”

Kevin huffed and slapped his hand down, clamping his fingers around Aaron’s wrist. His hand was very large, and enveloped most of Aaron’s, but the death grip was anything but amorous.

“Prime boyfriend hand holding, Day,” Aaron said dryly.

“Prime plan, Minyard,” Kevin parroted back, as he picked his fork back up, raising his eyebrow. “Have fun eating that sandwich with one hand.”

“Fuck you.”

“Not on the first date, honey,” Kevin smiled around his forkful.

“Oh, of course. I’ll wait til the second to jump you, I’m not a slut, sweetheart.”

The slight choke brought a wave of triumph, as Aaron also managed to pick up half of his slightly soggy sandwich and bit into it.

Kevin was giving him A Look, and Aaron flipped him off with his sandwich hand, smirking.

Even if he’d had another option for this plan, Kevin was fun to poke at. It had been a long time since they’d last properly talked. They rarely spent time alone — Andrew was the Minyard Kevin was most interested in. Aaron’s preoccupation with Katelyn and with his schoolwork had meant he’d rarely spent much time speaking to him, anyway, let alone trading snarky insults.

Kevin speared an olive and stared at it. “So… aside from… holding hands. What are we planning on doing?”

Aaron tried to cough down dry turkey. “We just need to fool Andrew into thinking we’re an item, it’s not that hard.”

“But what kind of terms, Aaron? How far are you expecting…oh shit.”

(Read more on AO3 here!)

[ordinaryschmuck]

Why Samurai Jack is a Fan-Frickin’-Tastic Character

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

And today, I’d like to introduce you to somebody:

This is Samurai Jack, from the popular Cartoon Network series Samurai Jack. Jack is a rare case. Where most shows would have a cast of main, secondary, and recurring characters of varying sizes, Samurai Jack is a series that mostly follows its titular character on his own. Sure, occasionally, you'll see the Scottsman or Aku making an appearance once in a while. But for ninety-five percent of the series, it's entirely focused on Jack and whatever oddball bounty hunter he's forced to deal with for the next twenty-two minutes. This type of decision can be risky because without quality writing, strictly following the same character week after week could get boring real quick. Thankfully, Samurai Jack is a series that's packed to the brim with incredible writing and direction, making Jack himself a fan-frickin'-tastic character.

How is that possible? Well, let me count the ways.

1. He’s the right type of overpowered

Jack knows almost every fighting style in the world and uses that knowledge to survive every bounty hunter, demon, and/or robot he faces every episode. On paper, this type of character could seem unbelievable given that he's just a mortal man, and even monotonous to know he always wins. But that's the thing: Even though Jack manages to almost always win every fight he's in, it's quickly explained why in the very first episode. Through a montage, we see Jack learning every fighting style from several teachers, each of them helping him prepare for the ultimate battle against Aku, an unspeakable evil. Through the simple act of showing us a few scenes of Jack learning a new skill, it's easy to understand why he's a difficult opponent to beat and easy to believe when he introduces another fighting style we haven't seen him use yet. Plus, while Jack's fighting is formidable, that doesn't make him--

WRONG SHOW! But it's true.

Despite winning every episode, it is never an easy feat. Nearly every battle results in Jack getting beat up and torn apart (Or, his clothes do, anyway). When this happens, it makes the victory feel earned rather than easily given. Take his fight against the beetles in episode three, for example. All of his traps go off without a hitch, and he makes it out while standing upon a pile of his vanquished foes. However, during the fight, his armor got stripped away entirely, and he's now scratched up and covered in robot oil:

That image alone proves that even though he’s winning, it doesn’t come easy for him. That remains a staple throughout most of the series, throwing in a few instances when he temporarily loses only to make his eventual victory all the sweeter. He may be overpowered, but at least it's still entertaining to watch regardless.

2. He adapts quickly

A bit of background information to those who haven't the show (probably should have done this in the beginning, but live and learn, I guess): Jack is an ancient samurai that gets magically teleported to a future where his mortal nemesis rules the world. Now, Jack is forced into an environment vastly different from his own, and in turn, he's forced to deal with a lot of stuff he doesn't know. Most writers would take advantage of this type of predicament to make a ton of fish-out-of-water jokes as a way to poke fun at the idea of a samurai being in a futuristic "utopia" (Or, at least, in Aku's eyes, it's a utopia). Thankfully, the writers avoid that cliche. In fact, if my memory serves me right, there's only one fish-out-of-water joke in the entire series. Which I'm more than grateful for because having a character getting thrown off and confused by the world around him would have gotten old fast. But it's not just being in a future world that Jack quickly gets used to. It's also being in situations he's unfamiliar with. Whether it's learning to fit in with dance-crazed zombies or being turned into a chicken (yes, that happens), it doesn't take too long for Jack to figure out a way to get through his current crisis. It proves that even though Jack is a strong warrior in battle, he's also a strategic one who can't be so easily outsmarted.

3. He plays off of everyone he encounters

Jack, in almost every sense of the word, is a straight man. Most of his humor comes from interacting with the bombastic temperaments of others due to his own behavior being so stoic and calm. The series accomplishes this feat by having the future world filled with colorful personalities, making almost every character the best comedic partner for Jack. Primarily through Aku and the Scottsman, who, as I mentioned before, are the only characters that make regular appearances. These are characters with personalities that clash with Jack's, what with Aku being bombastic and chaotic and the Scottsman being loud and crash. Every time Jack interacts with either of them, comedy almost always follows. A good thing too because while Jack can have his own humorous moments, it's better to pair a straight man with someone insane if you want the laughs to come frequently.

4. He’s still a ton of fun himself!

That being said, Jack is still a riot when he gets to be. By and large, I'd say he has a dry sense of humor, often shining through when he interacts with someone carrying the chaos for the both of them. But, occasionally, there are moments when Jack lets his goofy side out, and it's always funny. They're rare, but that in itself is why they work. Because since Jack always acts so serious in this series, seeing him suddenly break that character results in a laugh because it's something we wouldn't expect from him. If he always acted like this, it wouldn't hit as hard as it would only just be his usual sense of humor. So seeing him smile like an idiot as he's waiting "for the magic to begin" causes me to bust a gut laughing each time.

5. He lives despite tragedy

But not everything is all fun and games for our protagonist.

Jack has one goal in this series: Get back to the past and stop the future of Aku from happening. Several episodes make it clear how strenuous a task this could be, showing Jack briefly losing hope that he'll even complete it. Hell, a good chunk of the final season is him practically given up. He still fights to stop Aku's minions from wreaking havoc, but you can see that the light has left his eyes, and he is more than willing for it to end. But, despite how hard things get and how tragic his life can be, there is always a spark of hope that reminds him what he's fighting for and gives him a second wind to finish it. Even when he's at his lowest point, when everything is seemingly hopeless, Jack will always get back up to defeat Aku, no matter what timeline they're in. It is truly noble and shows just how much of a hero Jack is. In fact--

6. He’s the definition of what a hero should be

At least, to me, he is.

What do I mean? Well, I always believe that a hero is a person who would do everything they can to do the right thing, refusing to let innocent people suffer no matter what the cost. Jack proves it in every episode, frequently the ones where he's inevitably screwed over by his own selflessness. He could easily finish his quest and finally get back to the past, but because it could mean that someone innocent would be badly affected by it, Jack always doubles back to save them. The best example is in the second episode of season two. Jack gets ahold of a fairy that he heard can grant him any wish that he wants, but it's trapped in this ball of energy and will never get out. Jack can just wish to go back to the past and stop Aku once and for all. He only needs to make one simple wish. And what does he wish for? The fairy's freedom.

Because that's who Jack is. He's not the guy who would bargain for the life of another, even if his quest is more important. You can argue all you want that if saving something as inconsequential as the fairy's life is pointless due to tragedies like it being preventable if Jack successfully goes back in time. But that doesn't matter to him. A life is a life, and Jack is not the person to trade it. He's a hero and a damn good one at that.

There are many reasons why Samurai Jack is a fantastic character, but the one above, and the others I've just listed, prove how he is a fan-frickin'-tastic character.

(Sidenote: Does it bother anyone else that, despite five full seasons, we've never known what his real name is? No? Just me? Ok.)

[xofanfics]

Without Warning - Part III

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV

Genre: angst, slight fluff

Pairing: Reader x Mark ft. Doyoung

Word Count: 3.6k

Summary: You and Doyoung had the best summer you could. Now that he’s hundreds of miles away in college, you have to go through senior year alone. You meet Mark at a time when Doyoung is making you feel like you’re single.

Lucas took the liberty of pouring the vodka and the juice into everyone’s cups. He was no bartender but he knew that he should only put a little bit of vodka. The vodka to juice ratio had to be just right in order to ensure that no one ended up on their ass tonight. 

He hadn’t seen any of his friends drunk before and, he had to admit, he was a little excited. He looked around the room, wondering who would be the most fun and interesting when they were drunk. Phil was calm, cool and collected one hundred percent of the time. Lucas thought that it might be interesting if he had some liquor in him. Amber was a fiesty one and he was sure that that wouldn’t change even after a drink or two. You were fun to be around, as far as he knew. He could understand why his best friend had a crush on you. Lucas’ eyes landed on Mark, who was talking to Phil about the soccer team at school. With Mark so wrapped up in the conversation, Lucas poured a little extra vodka in Mark’s cup. Maybe, with a little liquid courage, he could confess his feelings for you. 

When he finished pouring, Lucas’ eyes and yours met unexpectedly. You’d seen what he did and he grinned. You laughed but didn’t say anything. And later, after everyone started taking their first sips, Mark twisted his face with disgust. He stuck his tongue out, sending you into a frenzy of giggles. He coughed, in shock at how strong the drink was. He didn’t expect the drink to taste like a piña colada or anything but he also didn’t expect it to taste like hydrogen peroxide either. 

“Jeez,” said Mark, clearing his throat. “Did you pour all the vodka in here?”

Lucas laughed. “I might’ve been a little heavy handed…”

Mark rolled his eyes. “Anyway, is anyone hungry? We got a bunch of snacks the other day.” Mark left the living room and went into the kitchen, coming back with two bags of chips and a jar of salsa. “God, I should be on the beach in Mexico eating chips and salsa.”

Amber said, “Let your parents enjoy their vacation. I’m sure your mom would not want you around while she’s trying to get a birthday present from your dad.”

“Oh my God,” said Mark. “Please! Stop. I do not need that image in my head.”

Amber shrugged, grinning, and took a sip from her drink. You followed, feeling the liquor slide down your throat with that warm feeling that landed in the pit of your stomach. 

You only drank a few times in your life, usually with Doyoung, Amber, and Phil. The four of you would go to Doyoung’s house and steal random liquor from the bar. His dad rarely drank but he liked to collect bottles of whiskey, bourbon, and things of that nature. His mom never drank but Doyoung always used to say that sometimes his dad would let him drink with him if he came downstairs late enough at night, when he was having a drink while he read. No one ever seemed to notice the liquor supply getting low.

You never got too drunk; it was always a feeling of being tipsy over anything else. You felt light, airy, and giggly at the time. It was Doyoung, if anything, who would sometimes go overboard the times you did drink—especially around the time that he was working on his college applications. And, granted, it was a stressful time but you always made sure to be there for him. You’d been there during some of his lowest moments. There’d been times where he broke down into tears in your arms. You’d seen him at his most vulnerable state, face red and swollen from crying on his bathroom floor. And, looking back, it hurt you to even think about it. Hell, it was why this breakup was killing you in the first place. 

Amber waved her hand in front of your face. “Hello? Earth to Y/N!”

“Hm?”

“We’re about to play circle of death...and you have no choice but to play. Now pick a card.”

Mark noticed you take a huge gulp from your drink and added, “We’re probably going to drink a lot from this game. I wouldn’t drink too much.”

“I can handle myself, Mark,” you said, shrugging your shoulders. You took a deep breath. “I don’t even feel anything yet.” You scooted closer to the table, next to Phil. “Now, somebody teach me how to play this stupid game.”

*

Mark had only been drunk once in his life, in front of his crush a couple months ago. It’d been a disaster, as far as he recalled, at his best friend’s birthday party. He spent the last hour of the party sick and throwing up in the bathroom with his best friend rubbing his back. He set out to drink just to take the edge off, to make him feel a little more confident and to have the courage to make a move on his crush. But he drank, not knowing his limits back then. 

He was talking to his crush for the majority of the night until he started feeling a little dizzy. He excused himself and threw up as soon as he made it to the toilet. A moment later, his best friend came in to check on him. Mark was in there for a while and his crush even came to the door looking for Mark. His friend pretty much explained to the girl that Mark had a little too much and would be out soon. 

Mark had had the audacity to ask her to come with him and, here he was, throwing up all the alcohol he’d drank. Mark hadn’t understood how alcohol worked back then. People didn’t get drunk right away. They got drunk over time and when it didn’t hit him, he assumed it wasn’t working and decided to drink more. That was his mistake. 

“Is she still outside?” Mark had asked some time later when his friend came back to check on him, hoping that maybe she’d stuck around.

And his friend shook his head, much to his disappointment. “Pretty much everyone went home.”

Later, she’d texted him. I guess I’ll see you at school on Monday…

Just when Mark thought he could pursue her as the school year was coming to an end, he got the news that they’d be moving. Long story short, things didn’t get very far and she was now a distant memory. 

He didn’t think he’d crush on anyone at his new school but that changed quickly, once he met you. You didn’t even do anything specific to make him like you. All you did was...exist. It wasn’t like you flirted with him or hugged him for too long or anything that could’ve sparked an interest. Things between you were strictly platonic, yet he found himself thinking of you more often than he should think of someone he was just friends with. He thought you were the prettiest girl in the school, even among a thousand others. In a room full of a hundred, his eyes would immediately shift toward you.

He loved the way your eyes shone when you were excited and the way you laughed about absolutely nothing. And the way you scrunched your nose when you were concentrating. He loved seeing you half asleep and yawning at the bus stop when he met you in the morning. He loved going home with you in the afternoons and always had the urge to take your hand in his and walk together. He had fantasized more than once about you being his but he knew that it wasn’t realistic right now.

Even though you were drunk, he still liked you the same. Mark was feeling numb and, apparently, so were you. He could tell just by looking at you. And apparently, you’d spoken too soon about not feeling anything yet. Fifteen minutes after you started playing the card game, you’d started to feel the effects of the shitty vodka and fruit punch. You felt like you were floating on clouds and Mark could see it in your eyes.

Later on, the doorbell rang and the girl Lucas was interested in showed up. Everyone had met her a few times, when Lucas brought her over to the table to walk to class together just before the bell rang. Her name was Marina and from what Mark could see, she liked him. Lucas wouldn’t admit it and always said that they weren’t together when they clearly had some feelings for each other. Mark didn’t want to end up like that. Again, he wondered if it was obvious that he liked you. The last thing he wanted was to feel like a hopeless loser with a crush that would never go anywhere.

“UNO!” you shouted, standing up. You stumbled a little as you stood and Mark chuckled at you losing your balance. 

He said, “Whoa, be careful!”

“I’m not that drunk, Mark, come on.”

He smiled at your drunken smirk as he mumbled, “Yeah right.”

“Hey! Are you talking shit about me, Mark?”

He put his hands up. “I’m not!”

You eyed him suspiciously before you plopped down next to him on the floor, situating yourself between Phil and Mark. “Come on, what’d you say? Tell me!” You were pouting and poking him in the chest. Mark found himself staring at you, at your perfect fingers and your drunken gaze. Mark couldn’t help but stare at your lips, wondering what it’d be like to kiss them, to feel them on his. Were they soft? Was the lipgloss you were wearing the kind of lipgloss to be sticky? Would it come off right away if he kissed you or would it act as a barrier between your lips and his? Mark was tempted to kiss you but, of course, he couldn’t do that. Hell, he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to have the chance to do something like that with you. That kind of scenario would just have to stay in his head. 

With a sigh, he looked away from you and back to his reality. “I’m just making sure you don’t get too drunk. I’m just looking out for you, okay? So don’t drink anymore...or at least wait a bit…”

You pouted again. Then Marina shouted, “Uno!”

You groaned as Lucas slammed a green card onto the coffee table. Unfortunately, you didn’t have the number or the color. But, luckily, Amber threw down a yellow card. And, in victory, you slammed your card down, ending the game. You shouted, “Yesssss! I win!”

*

Mark wasn’t sure how they ended up on the topic of Doyoung and your breakup but it came up somehow. That was the last thing Mark wanted to hear about, given his seemingly futile feelings for you. That stupid guy didn’t deserve your thoughts, your time, your feelings. He’d ruined it the second he decided that you weren’t important to him. The thought made Mark angry. How could he treat someone as amazing as you were as badly as he did?

“He can kiss my ass,” you’d been saying, downing the rest of whatever was in your cup. “I hope he’s having a good time in New York. Hmph!”

Marina said, “It doesn’t sound like you want him to have a good time…”

You let out a laugh. “You’re right. I don’t. I hope, um...I hope he’s failing all his classes, I hope he gets strep throat, I hope someone spills cheap liquor on his stupid Veja sneakers he likes so much, I hope he doesn’t get laid at all—”

“That’s very specific,” said Lucas, chuckling. The rest of the group laughed at your sudden outburst. You were usually fairly calm unless something happened to piss you off. Your ex boyfriend happened to be one of the things that pissed you off; it was definitely a topic that could be a little explosive. 

After your outburst, everyone went back to deciding if they should play another game or if they should call it a night and hang out again tomorrow. 

While your friends decided, you were trying your best to hold your feelings in. The thought of Doyoung made your blood boil still. You thought that you’d be over it but you hadn’t really had any closure. There was never an apology for what he did. There wasn’t much acknowledgment for what he did. Did he even know the specific reason why you were angry with him or was he just that fucking dumb? No, you thought. He knew exactly what he was doing.

You wanted to give him a piece of your mind, you decided. You wanted to get back at him somehow and you figured the best way to do that was to show him that you could have a good time without his presence, too.

Suddenly, Mark heard a very familiar FaceTime sound echoing through the living room. No one else seemed to notice, since he was playing music on the tv. 

Amber noticed though. She raised her eyebrows as she turned to you. “Y/N...who are you calling?”

Mark heard a voice on the other end say, “Y/N?”

Amber and Phil’s eyes both widened in horror. “What the fuck are you doing, Y/N?”

You stood up, strolling toward the kitchen to avoid Amber’s death glare, Phil’s look of concern, and Mark, Lucas, and Marina’s curious, yet confused eyes. 

You chuckled, mostly to yourself. “Wow, you answered my call and know my name?”

“Are you drunk right now?”

“I am...and I feel great.”

“I wanna talk to you...seriously.”

“What is there to ta—”

You were interrupted mid-sentence when Amber rushed over toward you. “Hang up!”

“He said he wants to talk!” you said, running into the living room and diving onto the couch. 

“We worked so hard through this, Y/N!” she said, chasing you back into the living room. “Don’t go back on what you said now!”

“Be reasonable, Y/N,” said Phil, frowning after you.

Lucas raised his eyebrows. “Are you drunk calling your ex right now?”

“Yes,” you said, “I am.” You held up the phone. “Catch!” you said, throwing the phone toward Lucas.

Lucas, with his quick reflexes, caught it in his hands. He waved to Doyoung, who had apparently stayed on the line with all the chaos on your end. “Y/N can’t come to the phone right now,” he said, ending the call. He went to Doyoung’s contact and blocked it again.

“Thank God,” said Phil, relief sweeping over him. 

There goes that pout again, Mark thought. 

You rolled your eyes as Amber pried your phone from Lucas’ hands. “You’re losing your phone privileges for the night.” And Amber rolled her eyes as her own phone vibrated in her hand. “Doyoung, just stop. No, I’m not giving her the phone. We’re doing just fine over here and I don’t need you to fuck that up—”

“Go fuck yourself, Doyoung!” you shouted, hopefully loud enough for your ex to hear.

“Anyway,” said Amber, “I’m hanging up. Don’t call back.”

“Not to interrupt,” said Lucas, as Amber pressed the end button on her screen. “but my sister is here to pick us up, Rina.” He glanced over at Amber and Phil. “Do you guys need a ride, too? I’m sure my sister won’t mind.”

“That’d actually be amazing,” said Amber, putting her hands on her hips.

All of your friends stood up and started cleaning up the garbage on the coffee table. You helped, too. And within five minutes, the living room was back to the way it was when you arrived. You and Mark bid your friends goodbye and Mark had your phone safely tucked into your pocket, at least until you’d calmed down and weren’t at risk of unblocking your ex. It was a little after eleven, you realized. And you were sort of sleepy, but didn’t want to go to bed just yet.

“Did you have fun?” Mark asked, as the two of you stood in the kitchen for a minute. 

You nodded. “Yeah. Do you wanna hang out at my house for a little bit? I don’t wanna be alone.”

Mark’s heart fluttered and he gave you a small smile. “Yeah.” He grabbed his keys off the coffee table and followed you into your apartment. It was a little stuffy, you noticed, as you closed the door behind the two of you. You turned the air on, adjusting the thermostat. 

Mark sat on the couch and, a moment later, you joined him. “Do you want something to drink or anything?”

Mark said, “You should probably drink a little more water if you don’t want a hangover in the morning.” As you stood up, he put his hand out. “It’s okay. I’ll get it. You should rest.”

You smiled as you watched Mark go into the kitchen, get two glasses, and pour water from the Brita. Mark was such a genuine guy and you were grateful that you had made such a good friend, one that was willing to take care of you when you were drunk. You weren’t wasted but you definitely felt the alcohol pumping through your veins.

Mark came back, handing you the glass before sitting on the couch next to you. He watched you as you drank it. “Do you feel okay?” He took a few sips from his own glass.

You nodded, taking another sip. There was silence for a moment; the only sounds you could hear were the gulps from drinking water and the sound of the air conditioning coming from the vent. It wasn’t awkward to you but it felt awkward for Mark. You turned toward him and said, “Am I really that undesirable, Mark?”

“Of course not.” Mark frowned, putting his glass down on the side table. “Why do you ask that?”

You laid back onto the couch with a sigh. “I dunno. It’s just like I thought things were fine with Doyoung and it turns out I wasn’t as important to him as I thought I was…It feels like the whole relationship was a lie.”

“You’re not undesirable.”

“Are you just saying that because you’re my friend?”

Mark shook his head. “Of course not. You’re an amazing girl and you’re more than that relationship or what he put you through. There’s nothing wrong with you, I promise.”

You stared at Mark for longer than you should have. You had never looked at him like this before. You studied him for a moment, taking in his features. Mark wasn’t an ugly guy; he never was. But you supposed you’d been so wrapped up in the breakup and befriending Mark that you never considered what it’d be like to look at him as, maybe, more than just a friend. Mark was attractive and, maybe, it was the liquor talking, but you were curious about him.

“Do you think I’m pretty?” 

Mark didn’t know how to answer that. Not to be dramatic, but he thought you were the most beautiful girl he’d seen in a long time. He wondered why you were asking him all of these questions right now. Was it because you were drunk? Did you just feel a little insecure because your ex became a topic of conversation tonight? Were all those memories popping up and making you feel bad?

“Of course,” said Mark.

You scooted closer to him, so close that you could feel his breath against your skin. 

“What are you doing?” Mark asked. In this moment, he felt excited yet confused.

“I don’t know,” you answered. “I kinda wanna kiss you…”

Mark’s eyes widened. “You w-what?”

“I want to kiss you.” Your eyes never left his when you said it and it was making Mark kind of excited...down there. He just hoped that you didn’t notice. How pathetic was it to get a hard on when all you were doing was making eye contact with him? “Can I kiss you right now?”

Mark searched your eyes for answers. “Do you really mean that, Y/N?”

You nodded, leaning in. Your lips pressed against Mark’s and he could taste your lipgloss; it tasted like cotton candy and he was definitely getting some of it on his lips. Mark kissed you back, deeply. Your tongues found each other and he could taste the remnants of vodka on your tongue. Mark felt like he was floating on clouds, in complete bliss. He felt like he was dreaming. There was no place he’d rather be than here with you. 

But then he remembered. You were both drunk. He couldn’t measure how drunk he was or how drunk you were. He couldn’t be sure whether or not you meant what you said about wanting to kiss him. Was it genuine or was it just a way to pass the time?

He pulled away first. You pouted. “What’s wrong?”

“We’re drunk…”

You frowned. “Did you not like it?”

“No, no,” Mark said. “That’s not it. I liked it...a lot.” He reached for your hand, deciding that it was now or never. “I like you, Y/N...You don’t have to respond or like me back but I just wanted to tell you that. And if you want to kiss me, kiss me when we’re sober. I wanna kiss you when we’re sober.”

You smiled. “Can I just have one more kiss?”

Mark smiled. He was ecstatic and he could only hope that you wouldn’t regret this in the morning. He pressed his lips to yours one more time, hoping that what he was feeling with you was real.

You pulled away this time, looking Mark in his eyes once more. “I don’t want to be alone. Can you stay with me tonight?”

***

TAG LIST: @wanlore​

GENERAL TAG LIST: @to-all-the-stories-i-love​

[faulty-writes]

Heyy!

I saw u had tensei on ur masterlist, could you write some fluff for him?

It's fine if not!

Ah, my second favorite Iida boy. He needs more love. 

[ Working for your longtime friend and love interest had its perks, and despite facing the challenges of being the only support agent at Idaten. Things get a little strange when Tensei requests you remove the airbags from his hero suit and while you refuse to go through with it. Tensei continues to try and persuade you, in his own strange way. ]

Your steps were rushed, echoing against the pavement as you ran past the sidekicks of Team Idaten. The street lights illuminating the area as well as the stars above that seemed to sparkle in conjunction with the moon. If you weren’t so panicked at the moment, you might have stopped to enjoy the view.

But knowing that Ingenium was possibly injured had you rushing to his rescue even if you were just a support agent who mainly crafted weapons and repaired everyone's hero suits. But Ingenium or Tensei as you knew him, was one of the most important people to you. There was a history that most already knew between yourself and the tubro hero, being that you went to U.A. together.

He was in the hero course, no surprise there while you were placed in the Department of Support. Being rather intuitive and creative, you would always make inventions that others found strange or too dangerous. Often belittling you to stick to basic support items rather than put your own style to them.

It was a little discouraging until a certain boy walked into the Development Studio and requested your help on his hero suit. That boy turned out to be Tensei who since then always encouraged your talent, despite being subjected to many of your malfunctioning inventions.

He was always your source of encouragement and you two were quick to become friends, that is until third year approached and you were nearing graduation. Tensei was full of inspiring ideas himself, one of which was creating an agency completely run by sidekicks who would work alongside each other and form teams depending on their specialty.

Most thought his idea was ridiculous. After all, who would want to be put in charge of a bunch of sidekicks when you could be the boss and rule over your own agency however you wanted? You didn't appreciate when people made fun of Tensei, considering you thought it was an amazing idea.

But, it also brought you a sense of sadness. You dreaded being separated from the soon-to-be pro hero. You knew you should have given Tensei more credit than that, considering he wasn’t someone that could easily let other's go, and to your surprise after graduation. He offered you a position at his future agency.

Stating that your talent would be useful in helping create weapons and suits for the future sidekicks that he would employ. True to his word, he slowly built the Idaten Agency from the ground up. Granted, he had plenty of help from his family.

But even so, you didn’t leave his side. In fact, you helped recruit some of the sidekicks that still proudly stood by Ingenium’s side. However, at times you wondered if Tensei realized just how much he meant to the Idaten Agency, how much he meant to you.

Your feelings for him seemed so obvious, but you often tried to make excuses for why Tensei didn’t catch onto them. The most common of which was the fact that he was solely focused on his hero work and always trying to bring his best forward.

Still, you were surprised that he didn’t hear how loud your heart was when you were alone with him or how flushed your cheeks got when he leaned in too close. You weren’t sure when these feelings for Tensei began, at first you were in denial. Believing what you felt was just a misplaced feeling of gratitude, but as the months went by and your feelings grew.

Maybe it was safer to say somewhere along the lines you had fallen in love with the turbo hero and love, as they say, made you do stupid things. “Tensei!” you cried as you finally spotted him and dropped to your knees, worry clear across your face as you took in how he looked.

A faint amount of blood dripped from the side of his head and his hair looked disheveled. The airbags that he requested you to install into the shoulder components of his hero suit had gone off, deflated among the rubble that he had caused when he ran into a brick wall.

You could make out a few cracks and loose panels in his suit. The eyepiece of his helmet was broken, laying on the ground by his side. You slowly reached up to brush your fingers along the sides of his face before moving his head so he was looking at you.

“Hey Y/n!” he chirped, his happy and uplifting mood unphased by the small accident he had gotten himself into. You let out a sigh of relief and dropped your hands from his face. “Tensei…” you said before letting your head drop and tried to take a deep breath to calm your racing heart.

You heard him move his arm, the metal pieces of his suit clinking together which made you raise your head once more. Then a gasp escaped as you felt the soft fabric of his gloved hand against your cheek which started to grow warm as you looked him in the eye.

You noticed there was dirt on his cheeks and part of the exposed skin of his neck. Apart from the blood dripping down the side of his head, he seemed otherwise unharmed. “Sorry about that, I guess I worried you. Huh?” you narrowed your eyes and glanced to the side, muttering a “You could say that,” in response which caused the hero to frown.

His thumb gently brushed against the side of your cheek which caused you to turn your attention back to him. Looking into those dark-colored eyes seemed to put you at ease, “Please don’t scare me like that again,” you said before reaching up to take his hand, pulling it away from your face before you leaned close to embrace him.

He looked surprised by the hug, his mouth falling open a moment before it softened and a smile came. This was followed by his arms wrapping around you, and a sigh of relief seemed to escape the two of you before you pulled away and leaned your hand against his shoulder.

“Let me help you up,” you insisted as you slid your arm behind his back, allowing him to place his across your shoulders. Buckling your legs, you pushed the two of you up. It was a little difficult because of the deflated airbags but as soon as you made it back to the Idaten Agency.

Tensei’s minor injuries were patched up and you promptly requested his presence after. Tensei had taken the opportunity to transform one of the floors of the Idaten Agency into a workshop for you, similar to the Development Studio. Everything you needed you had at your fingertips, including an examination table which Tensei was currently sitting on.

“You know, I’ve been thinking…” he began as you continued to look over the chest piece of his suit from your worktable. Your feet propped up against the wooden poles that made up the bottom of the stool you sat on and your fingers brushed over the small dents that you found in the hunk of metal.

The rest of the pieces that made up his hero suit were sitting in boxes, waiting to be repaired piece by piece. “Hm?” you glanced up, pausing in your movements. So many things were going through your mind, but more than anything you were worried about Tensei’s well-being.

Despite the fact that the only real injuries he had were the small cut on his forehead and his scraped-up cheek. You were worried that something worse might happen to him next time and you were rattling your brain to try and come up with a solution that would allow Tensei to take turns even at his top speed. It was tricky, near impossible actually.

But the man in question was very effective in shattering your thoughts when his voice broke through, “I want to remove my airbags completely,” you were thankful you were sitting, else your legs might have gotten too weak and to the floor, you’d go.

You looked at him with your eyebrow raised and your mouth slightly parted. Processing his words for a moment before you responded, “What?” you questioned as you leaned over the table, “I said-” you interrupted him. “No, I...I heard what you said Tensei,” you replied in clear disbelief and minor shock. How can he want to make that decision after what just happened?

“I...you can’t remove your airbags! If you take another hit like that without them, it'll be too danger-” your words came to a halt when Tensei got up from where he was sitting and walked over to you. Placing his hands on the table, he wore a smile as he invaded your space by leaning forward.

Hovering over the chest piece you were currently fiddling with. It made you a little nervous if you were being honest with yourself and you couldn’t help but stare into his eyes. Tensei had always been, in your opinion, handsome. Short messy hair that accompanied those unique shaped eyebrows of his, dark-colored eyes, and sharp square jaw.

All topped off with a smile that could light up a room, he was the ideal boyfriend-type, and while he was adored as a Pro Hero. Part of you was surprised that no one seemed to catch Tensei’s interest. A shiver ran down your spine when you felt his hands gently skim over yours.

You glanced down, watching as Tensei then grabbed your hands that were previously preoccupied. You could feel the heat rise in your cheeks and you half prayed that Tensei wouldn’t notice the fact they were turning pink.

But you knew you couldn’t move away. Without trying, Tensei Iida was keeping you right where he wanted you. “I know,” he replied in his familiar cheerful tone and you watched his pupils move ever so slightly, and yours mimicked the movement.

“But I can’t hold the team back, I know I've always had a hard time taking turns even at my lowest speed,” despite your flushed cheeks, you frowned. You knew it was near impossible for Tensei to turn when using his quirk, especially with the speed he could reach.

But you refused to allow him to put himself in danger, yet you knew no matter what Tensei was going to do so willingly. “That’s why I put trust in my teammates, they aren't just sidekicks to be used. They’re heroes I look up to,” he gently ran his thumb across the back of your hand.

Tensei’s touch was so delicate, it was hard to believe some villains thought him to be intimidating. “I trust you with my hero suit and to make the right choices even if you don’t think it’s good for me,” you latched onto your lip and glanced down, the soft hum of the air vents above you filling the silence.

“But a hero doesn’t always have time to think about what’s rational, speed and timing is everything. If something slows me down, that means I lose seconds to save someone,” your eyebrows furrowed together, a suspicious glance in your eye.

“Tensei...are you trying to guilt me?” you questioned and felt his hands immediately release yours so he could hold them up in a surrender-type fashion. “Not at all!” he exclaimed before giving you a smile, but you knew better than to fall for it. “It’s too dangerous,” you said before getting back to work, missing the way Tensei’s lips curled up.

His eyebrows furrowed as if he were trying to figure out a way to convince you, “Ah, hey!” you exclaimed as you fell forward onto the examination table, glaring up at Tensei who now held the chest piece you were previously leaning on. A chuckle left his lips, however, and you assumed he thought what he had just done was funny.

“Sorry,” he said, “I guess I couldn’t resist,” you rolled your eyes before pushing yourself up and slowly sliding off your stool. Walking over to one of the many boxes scattered across the floor, you looked around a moment before finding what you wanted.

A groan sounded as you lifted the shoulder piece of his suit out of the chosen box, the extra weight coming from the deflated airbag that still hung from it. Meanwhile, Tensei was busy staring at his reflection in the white paint of the chest piece he was holding.

“So, you really repair all these pieces separately huh?” he questioned just as you placed the shoulder piece onto the table, quickly grabbing a screwdriver so you could remove the deflated airbag and replace it with a new one.

“Yeah,” you replied as you began unscrewing the bolts around the airbag. “Wouldn’t it be easier to put the suit together and repair it that way?” it was almost cute how clueless he was about support equipment, still he was technically your boss and you owed him an answer.

“No, every little detail of a hero suit is taken into account and focused on with the utmost attention. I have to ensure every single separate piece works properly before bringing it together as a whole,” you finished unscrewing the bolts and placed them to the side before carelessly tossing the spent airbag to the floor.

Tensei looked away from the chest piece, watching as said airbag hit the floor. “Hm…” he stood there a moment, trying to think of how else to convince you to do what he wanted. Not that he was controlling, by any means. Rather, he was focused on finding a solution that would best help his team as a whole.

He walked back over to the table and placed the chest piece down, once again catching your attention. You lifted your head, “Are you sure there isn’t a way I can convince you?” he questioned, “I know it worries you, but-” you shook your head and once again slid off your stool.

“Oh no,” you replied as you walked over to him and poked his chest, “Hm?” he looked down at your finger before glancing back at you. “You know better than to try and bribe me,” you narrowed your eyes and Tensei let out a sigh before glancing at the ceiling, his lips perched up once more.

“Hm,” you gave a little victory smirk before turning back to the table, deciding that standing was a better option when around Tensei. You quickly examined the shoulder piece before walking over to the opposite side of the room where all your tools were on display. Hanging in an organized fashion on the wall.

Tensei watched you, he knew he was lucky to have someone like you working at his agency, and thinking back, he was surprised you had agreed to join him. Back then, it seemed like you were the only one who truly believed in him. His family had been in the hero business for generations sure, and he felt like he had become a hero more out of expectation than sheer need or want.

“Ah, there it is,” you said as you grabbed the tool you were looking for before you walked to another wall which was made up of various baskets. Each one holding a piece or item you might need. Carefully, you searched for another airbag, and once you found it. You walked back to your work table, laying both items down much to Tensei’s disappointment.

He reached up, running his hand through his hair but he was careful not to touch the gauze pad that was taped over the cut he had received. He was still determined to convince you not to reinstall the airbags of his suit. He stepped forward, “Are you sure there-” you interrupted him yet again, looking at him from over your shoulder with a small glare.

“Yes,” you replied before you resumed fiddling with the new airbag, trying to snap it into place, and Tensei felt as though he were running out of time. “Please?” he spoke sweetly as he walked behind you, looming over your shoulder as you continued to work. “No,” you said before reaching over to grab your screwdriver.

However, Tensei’s hand clasped around yours seconds later. You blinked and leaned to the side, “Tensei...” an awkward tension began to fill the air. “I can handle the screwdriver by myself,” you tugged on it once more, trying to make Tensei catch the hint you wanted him to let go.

But his fingers remained wrapped partly around yours and the rubber handle. “Heh,” he gave a sheepish grin and you jerked your arm back, successfully making the man release his grip. You gave another victory smirk before you reached over to pick up one of the many screws you had taken out and aligned it properly before getting back to work.

The fact that Tensei remained looming over your shoulder was a little nerve-racking, not only could you hear his breathing. You could also feel it against the back of your ear. You paused a moment, glancing back as if waiting for him to move. But you should have known better, while Tensei was respectful in many ways.

He seemed to hold some type of persistence when it came to certain things and while you already stated you wouldn’t do as he wanted. You had the feeling neither of you would be leaving the workshop until you came to an agreement. “I’ve always admired your talent,” he began, making you pause yet again.

“Um...thank you, Tensei,” you replied before continuing to turn the handle of the screwdriver. That’s when you heard a soft slap against the table and turned your head yet again. Tensei was now leaning over the table, his arm outstretched and fingers just barely touching the chest plate that was still preoccupying space.

He had another smile on his face and oddly enough, you couldn’t help but return it. “How long does it take to install a new airbag?” he questioned, and for a moment you wondered if he was purposely trying to distract you. You took a deep breath and placed the screwdriver down before bringing your hand to your hip.

You then turned to face Tensei, shooting him a soft glare which he seemed to notice and glanced away with a pout. “I was just wondering,” he said as he reached up to ruffle the back of his hair, “I’d hate to be taking up your time,” you chuckled at his words.

“You’re taking up my time by distracting me,” you replied before crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m not removing your-” Tensei interrupted you. “Nothing will stop me from being a hero,” he stated and you lowered your arms a bit, “including airbags,” you wondered if he was trying to start an argument with you, then again Tensei wasn’t much of the argumentative type.

You took a deep breath, letting out a sigh. Then you lowered your head, “I know,” you muttered before you turned back to the worktable. Taking a moment to stare at the shoulder piece and the airbag that currently only had half a screw to keep it in place. You lowered your eyebrows, it was clear that you were worried more about Tensei’s well-being than he was himself.

But once again you were reminded that’s how Tensei was, always focused on doing good for others. Always willing to throw himself into danger if it meant he could save someone, but you couldn’t help but feel like this time was different. You were being directly involved, being asked to remove something you had installed into his hero suit for his own protection.

Your thoughts were broken when you felt two arms wrap around you, “Ah!” you gasped, not having expected the contact or the way you were pulled back against Tensei’s chest. Then came the pressure of his head against yours and the heat immediately rose in your cheeks, coloring them a soft pink.

You flexed your arms slightly, almost as if you were trying to break his hold on you. “T-Tensei what are…” your words trailed off when you felt him nuzzle against you causing a soft noise to pass your lips. “I know you're worried,” he began yet again and though your face was currently on fire, you raised your eyebrow.

But unlike before, you didn’t interrupt him. “But I would never do anything that risks losing you,” your eyebrows shot up and your eyes widened, “and I can’t risk losing anyone else, a hero proudly makes sacrifices,” he said before he leaned back up and reached over to take delicate hold of your chin.

Once again a soft noise escaped you as Tensei gently tilted your head to the side and leaned over. You could hear your heart echo in your ears as you stared into his eyes. Somehow Tensei always made it so you felt like the only person in the room, even if at the moment you technically were the only other person in the room.

He then brought that hand up to cup your cheek, still keeping one arm wrapped around you. All hope of Tensei not noticing your scolding hot cheeks was effectively thrown out the window at that moment. “Will you be my hero? You kind of always were,” his thumb grazed across your cheek and you took a deep breath.

“I...I’m your...hero?” you repeated, clear disbelief in your voice, and Tensei nodded in response. Your eyelids lowered before you glanced at the airbag you were currently trying to install, you felt his hand lower. Once more both of his arms were around your waist. You struggled for a moment, internally debating about what you truly wanted to do.

Tensei’s safety was your number one priority, but his friends and loved ones, and all those civilians that counted on him to be at his best came first to him. You hung your head in defeat, missing the small smirk that came to Tensei’s face as he knew he finally convinced you.

When you opened your mouth to speak, your words were suddenly rendered to nothing but a pathetic squeak. The reason behind the obnoxious noise was Tensei’s warm lips against the top of your head. He allowed them to linger there, buried against your hair before he finally pulled back.

You swallowed, not having realized how dry your mouth had gotten. But, you slowly turned and Tensei, in turn, momentarily dropped his arms from around you. However, his hands came to rest on your hips when you were finally facing each other.

You didn’t mind his touch and reached down, placing your hands on his forearms. A smile was exchanged between the two of you before Tensei leaned close once more. “Eep,” another noise escaped you and Tensei chuckled, though he kept any comments to himself.

Except for one, “Thank you,” he said as he rested his forehead against yours. “Heh,” you responded, trying to suppress the nervous chuckle that threatened to pass your lips. “You’re welcome, Ingenium.”

[miioouu]

dare or extreme dare

So i saw this on @todobakus-doll blog, and um i couldn’t help myself! 

Warning: smut, characters are 18+...

    Some nights were spent alone, others are spent together. And well tonight is the latter. The whole dekusquad and bakusquad were having a game night. It wasn't rare for the two friend groups to have nights together, despite a certain blond attitude on the matter. But in reality, he wasn't doing it for himself, or his friends, he was doing it for his boyfriend. He knew how much it meant for Shoto that he gets along with his friends, even a little bit. It always makes him happy and proud, he wasn't one to show emotions but when it's the two of them, the way his cold hand runs through untamable curly hair, Bakugou could tell, feel the love. Well in all honesty, it's not just the two of them, when he feels soft lips pressing on his cheek, smaller body curling in his side, his eyes looking down at yours, his world felt complete. But that's beside the point, tonight he came to win. Spin the bottle, cards, whatever electric boy and alien girl prepared for tonight he will win.

      Both of the boys were a bit sad that you're not a part of the game, but they knew that you had university entrance exams you need to study for, so they didn't pressure you. Anyway, the night was going great, laughs and jokes filling the room, soft music playing, not too loud to disturb the other students but just enough so they can feel it flow through their body. Intense glances being exchanged between the lovers, yet keeping it low key, no one needs to find out about them. Finally, they all agreed on a game. While the usual party game was truth and dare, not for them. Dare and extreme dare. When you either show how weak you are, or how fearless you can be. When already inappropriate dares turn to the extreme. When worrying dares turn to dangerous ones. To make the game even more interesting, they went into pairs. Iida and Kaminari, Mina and Ochako, Kirishima and Deku, Sero and Tsuyu, and unfortunately, Todoroki and Bakugou. While it's not really that big of a deal to be paired together, they knew how dirty and naughty these games always turn out, and well, they just don't want to give it away.

     Few turns already passed, and to say that the group were being extra with their dares tonight is such an understatement. Deku almost fell to his death. Sero will for sure be sick for the next few days. Iida, is still shaking from doing something so immoral. And now it's the secret couple's turn. Eyes darting from one another, the other members of the group. It really must be their unlucky day, Denki was the one to give then the dare. Every second passing, the mischief in the electric boy's eyes intensifying, making the two other boys nervous, anxious for what's coming. Hearing soft steps getting closer, it's like you can see the light bulb illuminating above Kaminari's head "Ok so dare, kiss the next person who enters the room in their cheek. Extreme, make out for them for one whole minute!" Oohs and ahs filling the room, the two antisocial boys complaining and groaning until they saw you poking out of the door. Sweet smile on your face, rosy cheeks from interrupting them, but that's not what their attention was on. Short shorts exposing your legs, smooth and so appealing. Light, thin silky shirt, if they focus really good, they can make out the outline of your nipples making their mouth water, their mind go wild and with hesitation, both of them in unison "Extreme" and they ran to you.

     Quicker, the dual boy was the first to reach you. Hands caressing up and down your bare arms, cold sending shivers down your spine. You didn't even have time to question his behavior before he pressed his lips to yours. Slow at first but when your hands gripped on his shoulder, nails digging into his flesh trying to push him away, rationalize with him, the mood around you changed. His tongue swiping at your bottom lip and when you denied him access, he didn't hesitate to loop his arm around you. Cold, freezing fingers traveling up your naked thigh, pushing up your shorts and punching at the soft skin of your ass. Gasping from the shock, from embarrassment, you didn't realize that you granted him his wish. Tongue wasting no time, diving in your mouth and exploring the wet cavern. You could feel the others staring at you. Their eyes glued on your form, burning holes into your very soul. Unease taking over you, but with his hand still massaging your behind, his wet muscle down your throat, there's other feelings you're more worried about.

     "Alright, minute's done. My turn now!" The angry blond shoving Todoroki aside only to replace him. Confused and puzzled, what are they talking about? But just like before, your mouth opened to demand answers only to be shut with chapped lips colliding with yours. The taste of alcohol traveling from his mouth to yours, making your head dizzy. Or is it the lack of oxygen? His hands roaming over your form, tracing every curve, every part that you're so insecure about, in his eyes you're nothing less than perfection. Like your body has a mind of its own, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, fingers locking in his untamable hair. Pulling and yanking at them, earning you a hiss, a tightening of his grip around your waist. This action made you moan, low and erotic, being swallowed by his mouth. What happened to the usual shy and quite y/n? Letting herself go in front of everyone, almost letting the secret slip. With a man devouring her and her eyes, bright, begging another.

      The rest of the group didn't even know what to do. Stop you? That didn't seem like a good option, especially not when Bakugou seemed to drag you out of the room, your hand intertwined with Shoto's pulling him with you. It's just you three fooling around, nothing to look too deeply into. Or that's what they thought.... Out of sight and in your bedroom now, air felt heavy, it's hard to breathe. Embarrassment taking over you. Cheeks red, your teeth nibbling at your already swollen bottom lip, folded over yourself trying to hide from them. If you thought that this will make the boys slow down and explain what's happening, you're wrong. It only added to the fire boiling in their blood, eager to see you burn in lust with them. Step after step, they're getting closer. Slowly, like fierce animals hunting their teeny tiny prey, you. And it's not like you can back away, you're already pressed to the wall. Two hands catching your wrist, pulling you off the wall, just enough for another body to slip in. Your chest pressed against a much harder, muscular one, your eyes staring into heterochromatic ones. Your back leaning on an also tough torso, but that was the least of your worries. Your ass, there was something hard poking it. Bakugou's bulge straining his jeans and the protrusive fabric rubbing against your technically naked skin. Shoto's mouth found yours again. Gentle but not too much. Rough but just the right amount. His kiss making you melt from love and fire up in lust. And to make you blaze even more, Katsuki's teeth sinking and indenting your shoulders, neck, every part of your skin. You were in flame and they were the gasoline, your gasoline....

       Things were getting heated. Like the shy y/n existed no more, your hands went exploring. From traveling up Todoroki's shirt, palming every bulge on his abs, flicking his nipples whenever you had the chance, brushing up his collarbones and down his shoulder, his arms, feeling every flex, every tension of muscle; to threading your fingers in Bakugou's ashy blonds, single digit caressing up and down his neck, shoulder blades, gripping at his nape and pulling infinitely closer to you, your ass grinding on his aching dick. It's really getting hot in here, why don't you take off your clothes then? And that's exactly what you did. Separating yourself from the two young men, all taking off your shirt at once, not wanting to lose any more time. Bakugou was the first to get all naked, nothing unusual, he always liked to show off his body, especially to the two of you. Sitting on the edge of your bed, hid hands on your hips, pulling you close. Palms molding your chest, only to journey south, lower and lower finding the elastic of your shorts, pulling them down your legs. Then come your panties. Your frilly white ones with a bow on the front looking so adorable and innocent, but the shining dark spot on the front proving otherwise. And the string attaching the cotton to your pussy added to the obvious sin. And before anything could happen, Bakugou didn't forget, always so worry of you even in moments like this, pulling out the lube from your lowest drawer, smearing it on his dick and two covered digits pressing against your asshole, slipping in easily it wasn't the first time after all. And when all was alright, he sat you down, his cock replacing his fingers your back arching off his chest, your eyes rolling back your skull and your moans shakily leaving your mouth.

     In the midst of it all, you didn't realize, you didn't notice, Todoroki sitting across of you, hard shaft in hand, working it up and down, until he saw you relaxing in your "seat". Approaching you, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead, your cheeks, your nose, the little giggle erupting from you like melody to his ears, and yet there's something much better he'd like to listen to, a much better song. Pushing both you and the angry blond back, he climbed on top, earning a little scoff from the boy behind you but it was left ignored. His hand gripping your hip steady as he slowly pushed past your folds, every vein grazing your inner walls. And now that both boys were starting to move inside you, the orchestra began. A cacophony of your moans and whimpers, your begs and whines, all wreathed with the clapping skin, the low dangerous growls and the soft lovable praises. State of euphoria, you lost yourself in, and therefore it wasn't long before you reached your peak. With high voice, a mess of their names escaped your parted rosy lips, your head thrown back as your lidded eyes stared into intense red ones, your nails digging, like daggers of heavenly pleasure into broad shoulders, you came. And yet the concert didn't stop; still pounding in and out of you, but by their sloppy messy thrusts you knew they were ever so close. And prove, Shoto was the first to join you in short lived bliss, white painting your insides, so so deeply shooting inside of you, making you feel all fuzzy and warm inside. And when you were still relishing in that feeling, Bakugou added to it, cumming as your back hole clenched around him, milking him for every single drop of his seed. And if you thought you're done, just when both of them pulled out, seeing their hot love dripping and oozing out of you, it was enough to get them going all over again and again and again..... Really you should thank your friends for this awesome round of dare or extreme dare....

[post-nuclear-sweetheart]

Weight of the World (1 & 2)

Patches interacts with the NPCs of Firelink Shrine, while an abusive Ashen One is away.

Every now and again the familiar sound of armour clunking up the worn stone stairs of the shrine would stir Patches from thought. They would approach him with a silent glare and voicelessly inquire about his inventory and would either purchase something, much to Patches’ delight, or would abruptly walk away, followed by his belittling words.

There was a period of time the Ashen One didn’t return for an unusually long time, and in that time Patches watched the drifters from his perch, high above in the shrine. It was amusing to watch the blind bird with snowy white hair and long ash-stained robes stumble around the shrine and stub her toes on the steps and walls. She would let out a breathy squeak each time she gently collided with something, feel around with her arms and finally take her place somewhere. No one spoke with her directly, all except the Ashen One, but there was one time Patches did descend from his perch to interact with her.

The Fire Keeper sat along the steps of the inner circular shrine, fiddling with a loose strand of thread from her robes and quietly hummed to herself. Upon hearing the shuffling of greaves, she lifted her head and called out, “Welcome home, Ashen One.”

But her small smile faltered. “Ah, thine footfalls art lighter than mine Ashen One.”

Her observation took Patches by surprise, considering he was taller and no doubt heavier than the Ashen One. He looked down at his outfit and realized it was the iron greaves and boots he wore that gave him that clunky armour sound, but the fabric shirt he wore on his torso and nothing else helped his footsteps sound lighter.

Patches let out a chuckle. “Huh. Not very blind for a blind girl, are we?”

The Fire Keeper visibly recoiled. “Thoust a wicked one; begone.”

“Aw, now, now,” he crouched low before her, levelling his eyes to where hers used to be. “what has that horrid Ashen Tart been telling you?”

“They told’th me of thy trickster ways, and how thee would betray thy own compatriots.”

“Trickster?” Patches couldn’t help the manic grin growing on his face. “Oh, absolutely. Spot on, in fact. Now, what’s all this about betraying my friends?” He mimicked a hurt tone. “I would never do such a thing, bird.”

“I don’t believe thee. I am told’th thee did cast mine Ashen One’s true friend down a well, and that yond thee donn’d his armour and pretended to be him.”

Patches playfully shrugged, not that the Fire Keeper could see it. “Alright, I admit, I did that. And how remarkably easy it was to get him to strip that laughable armour off - but I digress. Old boy and I made up. We’re all friends now!”

She didn’t fully believe that he made amends with the poor, jolly knight, but his truthful admittance is what caused the Fire Keeper to ease her suspicions of him… for now.

She craned her head to look up at him. Patches whistled and gave a little wave, and her head followed the sound to look straight ahead. She jumped slightly in surprise.

“Thou art a solitary being. What mad’eth thee come down hither?”

“Oh,” Patches rubbed the back of his bald head. “I had enough of being a fly on the wall to the goings on here. Thought I’d come down,” the Fire Keeper could hear the grin on the face in his tone. “stir up some trouble.”

The Fire Keeper’s lips contorted to a grimace of disgust. “Is’t within thy nature to disturb the delicate balance of those who seek’th solace hither?”

“Hear me now, bird,” he said. “I ain’t the one to meddle where his nose don’t belong. You’re better off giving that question to your beloved Ashen Tart.”

“Just as thee has’t nay business stripping yond po’r knight of his armour, and disturbing our contenders.”

The toothy, almost malicious, grin fell from Patches’ face for a moment, before awkwardly chuckling, “Not one to pick up on sarcasm, are you? I didn’t actually mean I’d cause trouble-“

From her seat on the semi-eroded stone steps, the Fire Keeper stood to her full height. Not as tall as Patches, her figure and aura possessed a cursed air around her, and managed to send a fright through the tall pale man. “Thou shan’t spread any mischief whilst thou take’th shelter in the shrine, lest thou wishes to face wrath.”

Patches held up his hands in defense. “Alright, alright! I read you - loud and clear!”

Satisfied with his answer, the Fire Keeper took her seat once more on the eroded steps. “Then thou art most welcomed.”

But Patches remained to stare down at the Fire Keeper. After several, silent moments passed, the Fire Keeper’s idle humming halted. “Oh, does’t the vagrant have more to say?”

“Yeah.” His light and spirited tone evaporated to a dour mood. “I see a lot that goes on here.”

“Oh?” The Fire Keeper entertained him.

“And I see how that Tart treats you.” He said with a vindictive tone. “The way they slap you around with every new shiny toy they find. You don’t have to take that.”

At his confrontational language, the Fire Keeper recoiled slightly. “I am surprised thee care enow to approach’th me, but it doest not matter, for I cannot die so easily.”

Patches huffed at her complacent attitude of remaining nothing more but a servant to the next Lord, and a training dummy. “Death doesn’t matter much, but you’ve still got feelings. How’d that last beheading feel? Not great, eh?”

The Fire Keeper pursed her lips, and remained silent for a moment, before speaking in a quieter voice, “I… Mine own feelings matter not. I understand’th mine place in the ordinary; what mine fate hast becometh.”

Patches went to speak, but the soft, shaky voice of the Fire Keeper kept his words at bay. She clutched at the worn fabric of her ash-stained sleeves. “Wicked One,” she sounded pained. “prithee, grant me solitude.”

He hesitated, staring as she drew herself inward, but he knew when it was time to leave well enough alone. Wordlessly he stepped away, interested in the dark figure in armour that resembled a gargoyle peeking from the archway to spy down below, further into the shrine.

But the Fire Keeper called quietly after Patches. “Thy concern is appreciated, O Wicked One.”

-

Eygon of Carim - a knight dressed in armour that resembled some sort of horrific creature - watched a pale maiden, wrapped up in creams and whites, from above. Irina, the one Eygon was so devoted to, sat upon what seemed to be the only dry patch of stone in the moist darkness of the shrine’s lowest floor.

Patches had seen him before. He entered the shrine to visit her from afar a few times, merely to silently observe and see if she was alright in the care of the Ashen One. Once satisfied, he would sulk around the outside of the shrine before taking off somewhere else.

This visit didn’t seem to be like his others, Patches noticed from where he spoke with the Fire Keeper. Eygon moved slow and carefully, as not to disturb the joints in his armour too much. He didn’t call out to her, didn’t engage or make himself known. He stood in the shadows, spying on the poor blonde girl. Patches had no issue playing along with Eygon’s silent act.

It was after a few more moments of peering down at the nun, who slowly swayed her head and hummed, that Eygon stepped away from the arch and crossed his arms.

“What business have you to bother me?” His deep, rumbling voice flowed from the open mouth of the gargoyle helmet he wore. “Go kiss someone else’s ass. I’m not in the mood for your foolery.”

Patches tilted his head and smirked at the Carim knight. He knew exactly what that tone meant; he was defensive. Like he was caught in the act of doing something he’s ashamed of. “Know of me,” Patches kept his voice quiet, much like the knight’s own voice. “wittol?”

A low growl resounded from within Eygon. “You’ve made a number of enemies. Seems like you’re in the market for another one.” Eygon reached behind him, never moving his head from gazing at Patches, for his atrociously large hammer that leaned into the corner he stood in.

But there was something about Carim knights that Patches was intimately familiar with. Rude, crass and as prickly as they were, not often did they enact wrath upon others who caused petty offense.

Patches crossed his arms and shrugged. “All you knights with your maidens you’re all so devoted to - how’s a bloke not to think you don’t slave over her feet? But not you, eh?”

Patches stepped quietly, closer to the archway to gaze down at the nun, Irina. He pulled himself back to face Eygon. “Not with an evil creature like that.”

“Obvious, isn’t it?” Eygon whispered. “A pitiful failure. Nothing but an attraction to perverse darkness, but even a woman cursed as her deserves her dignity. Begone.”

Unbothered, Patches complied. “Alright, then. No sense in talking to you. Your lady down there,” Patches had begun to make his way towards the stairs that descended lower into the shrine. “seems more apt for conversation. Maybe I’ll-“

Eygon slammed his impossibly large hammer down dangerously close to Patches, kicking up clouds of ash and debris. His hammer shook the ground, and sent an ear-shattering bang echoing throughout the shrine.

“You won’t touch her.” Eygon seethed, lifting his head to stare directly into Patches’ eyes. “Not without a fight.”

“Ashen One?”

A soft voice called out, just loud enough for both men to hear. “Ashen One,” she called again. “is that you?”

Eygon hoisted the hammer back up the rest against his shoulder. “No, my lady. It’s only me.” He spoke louder towards the archway.

“Oh, Eygon,” her voice lifted in tone and sounded much happier than the dreary inquiry she had before. “it’s been so long since you came to visit me. Won’t you come here, please?”

Patches noticed the subtle way Eygon’s form turned frigid. A grin formed across his face, turning upwards in a most evil way. “What’s wrong? Don’t all you Carim knights dream of ravishing your lady? Or, is it that you’re right scared of her?” Patches purposefully forced out a laugh that dripped with venom. “Oh mate, you should’ve stopped being scared of the dark when you were a kid.”

“Say what you wish,” Eygon threatened in a low tone. “but I will kill you. Not now, but upon our next meeting I’ll separate the flesh from your oversized head. You’ll have wished you’d eaten your words.”

Eygon pushed past Patches, making sure to collide his armoured shoulder with his, and descended the stairs to where Irina spent her days.

Patches watched, silently above, in the shadow of the stone archway. The dark knight firmly planted the top of his hammer onto the ground, before kneeling before the pale nun. “What is it you needed, Irina?”

“Touch me, please.” Irina held up her hand in the blank space in front of her. “I- I have tremendous news.”

Eygon stared at the warm, soft palm Irina offered to him. She appeared simply angelic; the lit candles beside her created a heavenly glow around her in the dark, but all Eygon saw was the amplified darkness that plagued her eternally. He didn’t move, and was silent for too long.

Patches noticed his hesitation had turned into an uncertain withdrawal. It was clear to Patches now: this knight wasn’t just scared, he was terrified of her.

“Eygon? Where have you gone?” Irina’s outstretched arm faltered, but at his name, Eygon answered.

“I am here.” He pressed the palm of his gauntlet against her’s, and Irina’s fingers closed around his hand, feeling the intricacies of the design.

“It is you.” Irina whispered. “I am… I am glad it’s you. This Ashen One, he gave me a tome that felt most terrible against my fingers.”

Eygon stiffened. “Tell me you did not read it.”

Irina shook her head, and gave her knight a demure smile. “I did not. A woman - a witch - stopped me before I could. She guided my hand to a tome that tickled me with its radiance.” She gave a quiet, gleeful chuckle. “It’s bountiful light seems to have staved off the darkness that nibbles upon me. Perhaps my path towards becoming a Fire Keeper is not lost.”

A Fire Keeper. This information surprised Patches. He had assumed she was nothing more but a broken nun - a dirty cleric, but she was nothing of the sort.

“Eygon,” she started. “I know my curse wards you away from me, but the darkness is not in my presence. May I touch your skin?”

“...Are you so certain you feel the absence of the dark? Remember my oath to you.”

“I remember clearly. No, it seems gone. I feel positively elated.”

It was true that her smile turned up more than usual, and a healthy flush was present in her cheeks. Eygon pulled his hand away from hers to unclip the clasps of his gauntlet, and pulled it off to reveal his bare flesh. Experimentally, he placed only the pads of his fingertips against hers, then slowly enveloped her hand in his.

Irina let out a breathy gasp. “Oh, oh Eygon, you are so warm. I never could have imagined you felt this way. I can only wonder what you may look like.”

Patches grimaced at the sickly sweet scene unfold before him, and stepped away before he became a witness to the lovelorn fools’ potential union. Lovers were items that already made his stomach twist in knots, but secret lovers? He nearly vomited at the thought. There was one thing that stuck with him through all of that snooping; the corruption the new Fire Keeper nearly fell to by way of the Ashen One.

Perhaps the world could have done well with the loss of one more holy person, but the loss of a fire attendee? No, Patches knew where his hatred began and ended, and this betrayal was another strike against the Ashen One for him.

[asimpforarmin]

What’s Done is Done 💛

Content: Armin Arlert x Reader, Modern AU, italicized means flashback, bold is just something used to quote from a flashback.

Summary: After not talking to Armin for 2 years, you finally reconnect. Then, after a little bonding, he comes over and comforts you when you lose your job.

WC: 5,196

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff.

Warnings: Financial struggle, alcohol and mentions of alcoholism, a little arguing, and probable grammatical errors. Let me know if I missed any!

A/n: Everyone in the story is above drinking age. Yes, I did listen to Nobody by Mitski slowed down with reverb while making this, thanks for asking. This is really just a vent fic for me, I’ve just been daydreaming for hours about how I just want to be held and comforted by Armin. This isn’t what’s happening to me irl, but I just felt like I needed a simple explanation for the fic so yea.

“Armin! Are you okay?! Where’d they get you?” you exclaimed, looking over Armin. He’d been beaten up by one of those punks who bullied him. You slung his arm around your shoulders, helping him stand up.

“I’m fine!” he says loudly, brushing you off and sitting back down.

“Hey, Armin, what’s wrong?” you ask in a softer tone. You bend down next to him. He’s sitting with his knees clutched against his chest, head down.

He looks up at you, tears in his eyes. “I’m nothing but a burden to you. You, Eren, and Mikasa are always having to come to my rescue.”

“Armin,” you take him into your arms, holding him tight, “It’s not an inconvenience to us. We’re happy to make sure you’re safe.” He wraps his arms around your torso, head resting on your shoulder.

He sniffles, “I’m sorry.”

You pull him closer and rub your hand along his back, “I’m glad to be here. There’s nothing I want more than for you to feel better.”

~~~~~

Armin was everything you wanted to be. He was smart, he had a good job even when attending college, and was able to support himself. You were just you, someone stuck in a never-ending dead end job with bad pay and no special degree to help you out. You were barely scraping by while he was fully capable of doing anything he wanted with his life. Not to mention he had a huge network of friends.

So there you sat, alone in your apartment with the lights off and the windows open, blowing the curtains around slightly. The only thing illuminating the room being the small blue screen of your tv and the ambient nighttime lights of the city outside.

You sat up on the couch, looking at your phone. You went onto twitter only to see Armin and all his friends out doing something at a bar far away from you. You were never really close to many of his friends. You met Eren first, then, he introduced you to Armin. You and Armin hit it off pretty well and you got attached to him. He became your closest friend.

By the time you reached middle school, you and Armin were inseparable. He would obviously spend time with other friends, but he always made time for just you and him.

By highschool, it was clear to everyone around that you two liked each other. You two would blush whenever the other was near, would sit super close, share food, it was almost like you were a couple without admitting to it.

When highschool ended, Armin was so excited to show you his acceptance letter into the college he would be attending. You were hyped up too, until you noticed it was in another state. You were still happy for him, but it would just mean you wouldn’t be able to see each other as often.

You managed to find an apartment only an hour away from him. It wasn’t anything nice, but it was in your budget, and was closer to his college than your last home. In the beginning, you two would video call a lot, especially after classes. You did almost every day. Then, that turned into every week, every two weeks, every month, then you both just stopped around the one year mark.  

He had changed too, not in a bad way though. He had cut his hair, got new friends, and was a lot more social. He still had his old nerdy interests, but he wasn’t the same.

Meanwhile, you desperately tried to get into any college or higher education you could, not even living at this point, just trying to survive. You had two jobs, a cashier in a gas station and a barista at a quaint little coffee shop, but you were still struggling.

You couldn’t get enough money to leave and go to a cheaper place to live. So you slaved away, trying your best to make a decent sum every week.

You wanted to see your best friend again so badly, but you just didn’t know how to reach out. He would give you the motivation you needed to keep going, to try to do something with your life by just being there. The thing is, you’ve drifted so far apart that you were clueless on how to ask without being weird or needy.

You set your glass of ice water on the coffee table in front of you. You looked at it for a moment, thinking of what it could be instead. You were only dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, but you threw on a hoodie and a pair of sandals. You grabbed your keys and phone, you were going out, to a random bar nearby to be exact.

So what if it wasn’t healthy? It’s not like you did it every night, and it wouldn’t drain you for too long. You went down to ground floor and started walking. You didn’t own a car, and even if you did, you probably wouldn’t be able to drive it back.

You walked for a little bit, reaching the building. You went inside and sat at the bar. It wasn’t a huge place, but it wasn’t tiny either. It was quiet though. The only sounds were random people hanging out in the corner, jazz playing over the speakers, and the other lonely people drowning in their sorrows who had it worse than you.

You ordered a drink and looked at your reflection in the glass. You looked like and felt like an utter mess. You didn’t know what you were doing anymore. You took a sip.

The sound of everything else happening was a cruel reminder that life goes on even when you’re at your lowest. The people going in and out of the bar will never know what you’re going through. Time doesn’t care about how you feel and it ever will. But you can try to slow it down a bit with another drink.

As soon as the bartender gives it to you, you see an arm to the left of you. “What’s cookin’ good-lookin?” a man says. You can tell he’s tipsy.

You look up at him and see a familiar face. “Jean?” you inquire, unsure if you’re mistaken. He was one of Armin’s friends he met in university. You never met him, but Armin talked to you about him when you used to call and makes a lot of appearances on his twitter.

He gulps, not knowing who you are. “Yeah actually, who’s asking?”

“I’m- I used to be Armin’s friend,” you say as you stick your hand out. He shakes it. “My name’s Y/n.”

“Oh I see.” He leans on the bar and orders a shot. “Y’know I always wondered who you were. Armin used to never shut up about you. Now, it’s almost like he’s forgotten about you.”

Even though he’s drunkenly blunt, those words still hurt. That just goes to show he’s moved on from you. You look back into your glass, wondering if you should just down it and get out of here.

Then you hear giggles and look over. You see Sasha laughing at Connie punching the air, clearly snockered. You’ve talked to both of them before, but not too much.

You decide you won’t down your drink, instead sliding it over to Jean and paying.

You stand up, wanting to go home before the alcohol kicks in too much. You had an alright tolerance but you wanted to make sure you made it home first. Plus, what were they doing so far out here? Surely they were barhopping. The others would come in soon anyways.

You hear a drunk Jean whine as you walk away, falling off the barstool. You push open the doors, only to be met with those blue eyes you haven’t seen in person in for over a year and a half. They widen looking at you.

“Y/n?” he asks, more shocked than you. You realize Eren and Mikasa are there too.

“Hi,” you say quietly, pulling up your hood and pushing through them.

“W-Wait-“ he’s cut off by Eren dragging him into the bar.

You start sulking back towards your apartment. You feel defeated. Even though he barely said anything to you, that made you start thinking about all the conversations you had when you were younger.

You get halfway down the block and realize you forgot your stupid keys. You quickly turn around, not wanting anyone else to take them. As you look back, you see Armin a few yards away from you. He sticks his hand out, giving you your keys.

“Been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it sure has.” You walk up and snatch the keys out of his hand, not in the mood for a conversation with him. You weren’t mad at him, rather with yourself for not knowing how to talk to him.

You turn away and start walking again, when he says, “I’m sorry Y/n.” You stop dead in your tracks, glaring back at him.

“Of course you are, even after two years of not talking to me,” you raise your voice. Why were you saying this? This wasn’t like you. It wasn’t his fault either.

Armin looks down and grabs his wrist, keeping his arms together. “I’m sorry,” was all he could say again. “I knew I should have said something, I just didn’t know how.” You heard how his voice broke slightly, but you couldn’t see his face. “You were always there for me and I just brushed you off.”

~~~~~

Armin rushed to his math class. He knew he was going to be late but only by a few minutes if he was quick. You were also running late, going to the class down the hall from him. Armin opened the door.

“You’re late, Arlert,” the teacher replied immediately.

“Sorry sir, I-“ Armin was cut off by you speaking.

“He was helping me get my locker unjammed sir,” you say, lying, but covering for him.

The teacher nods, “Sit down, I’ll let this one slide.” Armin smiles at you and you give him a thumbs up before continuing to your classes.

~~~~~

You stand there, not sure of what to say.

“I took you for granted,” he continues. You wanted to yell at him, but it wasn’t his fault. You didn’t blame him. These things happen, that’s just how life goes.

He looked up at you, he was crying. Not too much, but his cheeks were red and they had tears running down them. Your eyes started to water just at the sight of this.

Before he could speak anymore, you walked closer to him. You reached your hand up to cup his cheek. “Don’t sweat it,” you say shakily.

Neither of you knew what to say, but if one of you didn’t say something, it was just going to go back to how it was before.

You’re the one to crack first. You wrap your arms around his waist, head in the crook of his neck. “I’ve missed you so much,” you say, crying into his neck.

“I-I’ve missed you too,” he admits. And just like that, it feels like a weight’s been lifted off your shoulders. He wraps his arms around you and lightly cries onto your shoulder.

It’s been a long time since you’ve spoken to each other, let alone touched each other. “I’m sorry.”

You pull back from him a bit, “Don’t be, it’s not your fault,” you smile up at him.

He lets you go, wiping his tears away, while you do the same.

“I-I should get back home,” you say, hoping he’ll propose something to make the night flip around. But he doesn’t.

“Yeah, I should get back too. Oh uh, do you want my new number?”

You perk up immediately to his suggestion. “Yeah! Of course!” You take your phone out, giving it to him. Once he types his number in, you give him yours.

You both say your goodbyes and head in opposite directions.

~~~~~

Over the next couple of months, you and Armin start to get in touch again. You can’t visit each other that often because of how far apart you are, but you try to every other weekend. Every time you can see him though, it’s a pleasure. Going to bookstores or libraries to be bookworms together or just getting food, every moment was bliss.

Your feelings for him started to come back too. This time, you have a pretty good feeling he likes you back, but you weren’t completely sure, so you didn’t say anything.

You two started video calling again, this time at least a little bit every evening with little to no exception. You both adored each other and loved geeking out together about things.

But you still had to work. You didn’t bring up anything about your struggles to him, he probably didn’t want to hear and you don’t want to be a burden.

That is, until you got laid off from both of your jobs in the same week. It was the end of the week and the coffee shop you worked at had gone out of business and the gas station found someone to do your job for less money.

You came home that day and just dropped to the floor crying. You didn’t know what to do. You were stuck with no job after barely getting by and all you could do was just sob as it felt like the world crumbled around you. You were completely distraught.

“Shut up!” you hear your neighbor yell as he bangs on the wall separating your rooms. You choke back your cries and pick yourself up to just curl up in your bed, sobbing into a pillow.

You suddenly wake up to the sound of your phone ringing. You drag yourself out of bed and rummage through your bag. You find your phone, slide back into bed, pick up, and turn your camera off.

“Hey Y/n!” Armin exclaims. He sounds so happy to see you.

“Hey,” you try to sound fine, but your voice cracks and you sniffle a little.

Armin takes note of it, “Why’s your camera off?” he asks inquisitively.

“It’s nothing,” you reply, wanting him to just take over the conversation and tell you about his day.

“Are you okay Y/n?”

“Just ignore it, I just woke up.” He takes a minute to try to figure out how to respond. “Just uh- How was your day?” you ask quickly, trying to change the subject.

He cautiously talks to you about it, knowing something’s up. You put in some headphones so you can have him right in your ears and just lay on your bed.

He tells you about the quiz he had that day, how Eren got into a fight, how spring break started, and it starts to calm you down, just having someone talk so casually to you like you’re having a normal conversation.

“So, how was your day?” he asks you in return. That snaps you out of it, you start crying again. You mute your mic and try to get your composure back.

“Y/n? Oh, you’re muted? Are you okay? Tell me what’s wrong.” His voice was low and considerate, trying to help calm you down. “I don’t mind, if you want to talk about it, we can. If not that’s fine too.”

You unmute your mic, “I’m tired,” you say, voice breaking as you speak.

“Hey, that’s alright, tired of what?” he asks you.

“I don’t have a job anymore, and I’m barely getting by. I just want a steady income or a new opportunity,” you say, getting more and more unconsolable by the second.

Armin always has his ways though, “Hey, you’re going to be okay. What happened?”

You sniffle and take a deep breath. “Well this coffee shop I worked for went out of business and-“ you take a second to sniffle and cough, “I got fired from the gas station I worked at.”

“You were working two jobs?” He’s a little shocked, but doesn’t act like it. He doesn’t want to throw you off your train of thought. You nod like he can see you, then make a sound of affirmation.

“You’re gonna be okay,” he says. He sounds calm and collected, trying to just make you feel better. His voice is quiet and comforting.

“I-If it isn’t too much to ask, Armin, could you come over tomorrow? I just wanna hang out with you,” you say.

Armin takes a minute, thinking of what to say. “I can come over tonight if you want.”

You want him to, you really do, but you say, “It’s a long drive and it’s the middle of the night, Armin.”

“Hey, it’s alright. It’s the least I can do.” You try to convince him otherwise but he’s already hung up. You pull your legs to your chest and put your head down. You don’t know what you’re doing. You’re not worth his time. He’s going to have to drive an hour just to get to where you are.

After a couple minutes, you hear your phone ringing again. It’s him. You pick up.

“Hey, I’m in the car now,” he said.

“Armin, I’m too far from you. You’ll have to drive 2 hours tonight, just to get back and forth.

“Then I’ll just stay the night with you.” You were a little shocked by him just saying that, but you welcomed it.

“I know you want to be here for me now, but you don’t have to drive an hour in the middle of the night just to comfort me.”

“Just an hour? So you’re agreeing I can stay over?” He was more lighthearted now, trying to cheer you up.

You sigh, say, “I guess” and lightly chuckle.

“It’ll be just like the sleepovers we had when we were younger.”

~~~~~

“Hold still!” you said, “You’re gonna make me mess up.” You were sitting criss cross with Armin on your bedroom floor, painting his nails a light blue color.

“Hey, you’re the reason you have that streak going halfway up your finger, you couldn’t hold still either.” You chuckled, looking down at your fingernails he just painted.

“Oh well, what’s done is done,” you say, putting the brush back in the bottle. “Tada!”

He looks down at his nails, then blows on them to try to get the polish to dry quicker. “They look great.” You look at him and smile, and he does too, but his smile soon fades into a frown.

“What’s wrong?” you say, putting the polish away and sitting next to him.

“People are gonna make fun of me because of this.”

“Hey, don’t think that way, if they do, I’ll beat ‘em up!” you smile, making a fist with your hand.

“Y/n, no,” he looks at you, trying to get you to back down.

“Okay fine, only if they hit you first.”

“You’re going to get yourself hurt,” he raises his voice.

Then you hear a voice from downstairs, “Go to bed kids!” You sigh, getting up and reaching your hand out for Armin.

“I’ll be okay.” He takes your hand, standing up. He goes over to his bag as you climb into your bed.

You yawn, “What do you have there?”

“A book and a flashlight. I hope you don’t mind. If you do I’ll just put them away.”

“No, it’s okay. What book?” He moves a little closer to you, showing you the cover with a smile on his face. He sits next to you and starts going on about the plot and all the characters, flipping through the pages showing you his favorite parts.

After a while he’s reading it to you, trying to keep quiet because he doesn’t want anyone to know you’re both still up. He’s getting to a part he’s quite passionate about when he looks at you. You’re half asleep under your blanket, trying to keep your eyes open.

He stops reading for a moment, “Sorry I’m boring you, I’ll go to sleep.” He goes to his makeshift bed, a pile of blankets with a ton of pillows underneath, and his sleeping bag on top. It’s just a few feet away from your bed.

You sit up a little, rubbing your eyes. “It’s not boring at all. It’s quite relaxing actually.” You wrap the blanket higher up on your body, before laying on your bed to look at him. “Tell me more,” you say.

He smiles. He turns the light off and his flashlight on, getting under the covers and flipping through his book to find the good part. He starts reading again, in a hushed voice. You cuddle up against your pillow, watching him.

He looks so absorbed in the world of that book. Reading you a chapter, occasionally pausing to tell you context since you haven’t read it. He’s smiling throughout it all.

You close your eyes, listening to him continue. Soon enough, you’re asleep. He falls asleep shortly after.

~~~~~

“Oh yeah, I remember those,” you say wiping your eyes and smiling. “You gonna paint my nails again?”

“Only if you let me read to you,” he says.

“Of course you can.” You two continue just making small talk for a while, until he pulls into a gas station.

“Well, I’m gonna hang up for now, okay?” he asks you.

“Okay,” you say, pulling your blanket closer to your body.

“I’ll be right over.”

“Alright,” you say. He’s about to hang up when you say, “Wait.” He stops what he’s doing and puts his phone back up to his ear. “I- I love you, Armin.”

He pauses for a moment. “I love you too, Y/n,” he says, before hanging up.

With a blush across your face, you stare up at your ceiling. He’s calmed you down so much by just talking to you over the phone. You get up, getting changed out of your work clothes. Not into anything fancy, but just a baggy t-shirt and a loose pair of pajama pants.

As you’re getting dressed, you’re thinking it over. Did he really mean what he said? Or if he did, did he mean it in a super friendly way? You don’t know how this is going to work out. On one hand, he could actually have feelings for you, or on the other you could have just made your whole relationship awkward.

“But what’s done is done,” you thought. There’s no going back now. You sat back down, waiting about 45 minutes. You wanted to cry but you felt too tired even for that.

You heard three loud knocks coming from your door.

“Y/n, it’s me,” you heard Armin say from outside. You get off your bed, go over to the door and unlock it. Armin’s standing there with a bag. “Hey,” he says, pulling you into a hug.

“I’ve missed you Armin,” you say. You don’t know why you said it, you were just talking to him.

“Well I’m here now,” he says, letting go of you. You step aside for him to come in. He goes to your coffee table and places the bag down. “While I was at the gas station, I picked you up some of these.” He takes out a plastic container filled with cookies, and a bottle of your favorite drink.

You walk closer picking up the drink, “You remembered.”

“Of course I did,” he says. He grabs your hand, “I never forgot about you.” That made you think back to what Jean had said to you at the bar. You put the drink back on the table and wrap your arms around Armin’s waist, burying your face in the crook of his neck. He puts his arms around your shoulders and holds you close. “It’s okay, Y/n, I’ll never leave again.”

He doesn’t end the hug, but once you’ve calmed down a little, he spaces you two apart so he can look at you. He says, “If you want we could pop a movie in, or I could paint your nails, or read to you, anything you want to do.”

“Could we just talk for a bit?” you ask, as he hangs his jacket over the side of the couch. You felt bad for dragging him out here if you were just going to watch a movie or something you could easily do by yourself. He nods and you bring him over to the couch.

You sit to the left of him and lean your head on his shoulder. “I don’t really know what I want to talk about, I think I’ve told you most of what’s happened.”

“That’s okay. So, what job do you think you’re gonna get after this?”

“I don’t know,” you say, looking down. “I don’t think I’ll find one easily.”

“I can help you find something in the morning if you want.”

“Sure.” You both stop talking for a minute.

“Do you have any other friends?” he asks.

“No, not really. I had some friends at the coffee shop I worked at, but now that’s gone out of business. I never really spent time with them either, they were just people I talked to.”

“If you want, I can introduce you to some of my friends. I know they’re far away, but if you’re not busy, we could meet halfway, maybe once a week.”

“Like at the bar?”

“Yeah, just a better place than that,” he says. You look up at him, and then down at his hand. You take it.

“Where do you want to go?” You look back up at him, waiting for a response. He blushes as you hold his hand, looking away.

“Well if it’s all of us, some of my friends will probably want to go to a club or something, but if that’s too much, we can just go get food or see a movie.”

“What if it’s just you and me?” He looks back at you, cheeks still flushed. “Do you want to go the library or something at some point?”

“Sure,” he says. You’re thinking for a moment. You’re holding hands with your best friend while your head is on his shoulder, after he drove an hour just to comfort you. You were gonna have to tell him at some point. He wouldn’t just confess to you.

You start to get tired, it was relaxing to be in this position. You yawn, getting the attention of Armin.

“You should go to bed.”

“I’m not that tired, plus you just got here.”

“That’s alright, I don’t mind. And I bet you are tired. You’ve been crying a lot today.” He brushes some hair out of your face, stands up, and takes both of your hands. “Come on, you need to sleep.”

You both part hands and you go to the bathroom for a moment to wash up. When you come out, Armin’s checking his phone with his jacket over his arm.

“Guess I’ll be on my way,” he says.

“Wait, I thought you were staying?” you ask confused. You wanted him to stay.

“Do you want me to? I kind of just said I was without asking you.”

You go closer to him, “Well I made you come all the way out here, so the least I can do is let you stay.”

“You didn’t make me, Y/n, I chose to come.” He puts his phone in his pocket.

“I don’t know, I just feel like I’m burdening you.”

“Y/n,” he takes both of your hands in his own, “There’s nothing I want more than for you to feel better.”

“God, you even remember that.” You look down, starting to feel your eyes water.

“Hey, don’t cry,” he says, wiping a tear from your cheek. You look back up at him, he’s concerned, but he’s smiling at you.

You let go of his hands and hug him. “I love you, Armin,” you say, “and I mean it.” He quickly puts his arms around you, while you let out a shaky breath. You continue, “I have since middle school, it’s not just from this.”

He puts his face in your neck, starting to tear up. “I have too,” he says with a quavering voice. You two stand there, overcome with emotion, holding each other. You pull back for a moment, cupping his face and brushing a tear off his cheek. “I love you, Y/n.”

You smile up at him, still while blubbering. You pull him back and you both rock each other for a moment.

“Come on, let’s go to bed,” you say, leading him to your bed. He puts his jacket over your chair and his phone on your nightstand. Once he’s done, you already have your legs under the covers. You open your arms and he climbs in next to you. He hugs you, then you both lay on your sides, facing each other.

You reach for his cheek again, just holding it. “God, you look so handsome.”

“Thank you,” he says, grabbing a hold of your hand. “You look stunning.” You smile and let out a little chuckle.

“I love you,” you say again. God, you’d have never thought you’d be saying this to him, especially tonight.

“I love you too.” It was a short and simple phrase but it made your cheeks darken and you felt butterflies in your stomach. You lean a little bit forward, kissing him. You both close your eyes as he kisses back.

After a couple seconds, you both part. He pulls the blanket over you, wrapping you in it. “Goodnight,” he says, turning the light off.

“Goodnight.”

~~~~~

You open your eyes, to see that no one’s there. The other side of the bed is empty. You sit up a little, before smelling food cooking from the kitchen.

After around 15 minutes of just laying in bed, you get up and go see what’s cooking. Armin’s at your oven, pulling muffins out of it.

He turns around to see you, a smile on his face. “Good morning!” He starts putting some of the muffins on a cooling rack, “How did you sleep?”

“Good,” you say, sitting at the table.

“That’s good. I used some mix from your cupboard, I hope you don’t mind.” He takes some of the muffins and puts them on plates for the both of you.

“It’s fine,” you yawn and look down at the table. There’s a newspaper in front of you.

Armin comes over to the table and places one plate in front of the newspaper. “Look at the bottom.” You look down the newspaper and see an ad for some small shop that’s hiring. “Thought maybe you’d be interested.”

“Thanks,” you say as he sits down. “So, are we a thing now?” you ask shyly, looking up at him.

“Yea, if you’re interested.”

“Of course I am.”

“Well so am I,” he giggles.

You start reading into the newspaper a little more. What’s done is done, and you’re happy about it.

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Hello! I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfy but I was wondering if I could get a bit of advice? From your recent posts, you said you left your home from toxicity and just bad things in general.

I’m in a similar situation, but my dad will be taking me away from my mom. And I just know it’ll be a shit show. And I’m absolutely terrified when we tell her and what the backlash will be afterwards towards my brothers and me and dad in general

How did you do it? How did you take the leap? Do you possibly have any advice on how to deal ?

Hello, friend!! ☀️

Thank you so much for reaching out, it means a lot that you value my advice <3

Hmm, okay from what I can tell of your situation, that is indeed a tricky one, but nothing can’t be overcome!

It’s important to remember, though, I was 19 when I left (now 20), so the way I handled things is going to be a lot different than how a minor can handle things (legally at least, feel free to replicate my insane stunts lmao)

Advice below the cut! (family violence trigger warning, I suppose?)

My entire family was and is extremely volatile, and I don’t speak to any of them anymore except for my older brother, but I’ll be cutting him off in 3 weeks too when I move.

Fortunately, my dad and brother were both kicked out of the house years ago due to violence, which left me with my mother, who’s quite insidious herself (just watch any Conjuring movie and that’ll give a good idea of what it was like living in that house lol)

I get the same feeling watching this scene as when I was around her in that house. Granted she didn’t try to change my gender, but the hatred for my father getting taken out on me is pretty accurate lol, paired with the immediate “motherly love” afterwards (she never hit me though, pleased to say — she wasn’t physically violent, just emotionally, financially, mentally and verbally. She did try to run my dad over once though, so, there’s that too)

Yikes…yeahh the same eerie feeling for sure, still makes all my hairs stand upright in memory.

(For further context this clip reminds me of my father and this one of my brother)

In the clip about my father, he definitely reminds me of Frank Gallagher, except he despises my mother instead of revering her. He’s a workaholic instead of a drug addict, too. But the mannerisms are the same. I always handled him in the way Fiona does.

Regarding my brother, I think everything about our family hit him the hardest, despite being the oldest. He developed a very violent streak, and has very poor impulse control. I love him dearly but he’s a snake in the grass, and has thrown me under the bus multiple times to get ahead in life. I mostly just pity him, since I know what our life was like growing up. But still, I can’t defend him forever, especially not at the cost of myself. Literally yesterday I woke up to a text from him asking me to come pick him up because he got arrested for starting a fight at a bar and smashing their windows.

When things started getting pretty bad with my mother earlier this year, I started to realise in my heart that there was no way I could go forth in life with her in it. I focused on the future relationships I would have one day when far away from this town — romantic partner, children, friends etc

I sort of realised one day I’d care about them a lot more than I care about my mother, because those future people would care about me. That in turn got me realising that I do deserve love, despite how my mother made me feel, and that I don’t want her to deprive another second of that in my life.

Something very unique that triggered this too was going to go visit an old family psychic, who’s basically just the Gandalf to my Frodo (ily, Chris <3). He very accurately predicted my birth years ago after my mother was told she was infertile — he got the date, year and time right three years in advance, and even knew ahead of time what my personality would be like, which he was spot-on about.

Well, I went and visited him a few months ago because I was lost with my direction, and he ended up pausing and had a sudden feeling, which led to him telling me that he’d just found out I would be having twin boys one day.

Normally I don’t buy into that stuff, but this Gandalf dude…well I knew he was right.

Knowing I’d have sons of my own one day took me from a scared daughter mindset and into a maternal mother bear in an instant, and I knew I didn’t want any children of mine around my mother or the rest of my family, for their safety alone, which made me realise, “Well, if I wouldn’t allow my own children near them, why do I allow myself?”

I started grey-rocking her in the lead-up to me leaving, which of course frustrated her (she’s a malignant narcissist), but it was a necessary step to start emotionally detaching myself from her.

It all bottled over one night after a pretty distressing argument (I had locked myself in my room to avoid it, but she was still at my door carrying on).

My cat, who’s been my best friend for years, was sitting on the floor next to me, and sort of looked up and I swear he spoke with his eyes, saying, “You know we can’t keep doing this, right? You know this abuse has an expiry date?”

I agreed with my cat and knew right then and there that I’d be leaving that night after my mother fell asleep.

Well, when she was finally done (with threats that there’d be more in stock in the morning, mind you) I went to bed early and set my alarm to 3am (was a little inside joke with myself, since that’s biblically the “witching devil hour”)

I started quietly packing my quilt and cat up (I’d already been secretly packing the boot of my car up with all sentimental and important items weeks in advance, except she caught on and took all my baby albums and more to her boyfriend’s house, so I don’t have any baby photos or information on me when I was a baby anymore, like first words, size and just general things I’d have liked to compare to my own kids one day, rip)

Once that was all in my car, I quietly said goodbye to the old family dog and cat (they weren’t mine to take, not that I could’ve anyways, since it was troubling enough taking Buddy, who’s actually my pet and not the family one). That was pretty heartbreaking, as I knew that’d be the last time I’d see them (I grew up with them and was the only one who took care of them — mother neglects kids and pets alike lmao).

Once that was over, I looked around my house with my hand on the front door and was very melancholy, but knew Buddy was right: it had all reached its expiry date.

I left very quietly and drove to McDonalds for a coffee, as I had a long drive ahead (I had organised to be a nanny in this rich family’s house far away in the city — two hours drive). Luckily they were away on their country farm 4 hours away, so I had time to sneak Buddy in.

The nanny thing recently backfired horribly because they discovered Buddy, which led to more AM escapes with my car, but I’m staying with my older brother and his gf for 3 more weeks only. Something I’ve been working towards for months now is moving to a wilderness island to live in my country’s equivalent of Bag End — a beautiful country cottage, amazing job and fantastic study opportunities.

Best feature yet: it’s 60 hours away from my hometown by car, and then you’d have to take a boat for 10 more hours!! They shall never find me hahaha

One of my friends has also told me recently that my mother has started spreading horrible, defamatory rumours about me around town, but I don’t care anymore because I’m almost out.

So, although I can’t offer any practical advice (idk if you’re a minor or not, but regardless it’s great your dad is helping you!) this is the best advice I can offer:

Find a dream and hold onto it, one that doesn’t involve your immediate family. For me it’s moving to that island and enjoying all the fresh air. It’ll push you forwards and remind you of what you’re fighting for when at your lowest.

Remind yourself there will be other people in your life, whether a spouse, friends, children or even a dog! (I’m getting a golden retriever next year 🐾) And then remember that you deserve all of them and the unconditional love they offer you.

Remember that if you don’t want your mother/family screwing those people over by proxy of her/their relationship to you, then there’s no way in hell you alone should put up with it either, as I guarantee those future people only want good things for you ☀️

There is a good life after abuse, I’ve seen it, and I know you can achieve it, too!

Be prepared for tons of backlash and bullshit — it’s inescapable when dealing with people like this, but I recommend educating yourself on narcissistic parents and tactics to deal with them.

Finding a good therapist who deals in PTSD regarding childhood abuse is important, too. I found an amazing one in the town I’m moving to, who had nearly the same upbringing as me!

So while I’m still struggling with a lot of fear (scared my mother will find where I’m working and living one day) and guilt (I feel horrible about leaving the family dog and cat behind, especially when they need veterinary help, only to then go and get myself another puppy) I understand I’ve done the best I can in a very abnormal situation, and that I can only do better from here.

Also, this song has been a saving grace when going all angsty over wanting to leave your current situation:

It’s from my favourite Broadway Musical, “Newsies”, and lemme tell you — discovering this as a 17-year-old when I was just starting to realise the severity of my situation was pure divinity.

Jeremy Jordan, my beloved Broadway Bard <3

When I finally get my cottage, I’m getting a wooden plaque with the name “Santa Fe” engraved on it, and am hanging it on my front door.

I wish you much luck and love, my little anonymous friend! And please know my inbox is open any time you need anything — vent, advice, a laugh or something else, ANYTHING, it feels good to know my past can maybe help someone else’s present ☀️

Please update me, too! I’m following your story along ardently now! (Also, be sure to take your sentimental items and store them somewhere safe away from your mother — ie baby albums, birth certificates, other paraphernalia/memorabilia etc).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must hit the road. DESTINY AWAITS!

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Little Blue Eyes

A brief follow-up to this. Eleanor visits Michael during his reforming.

.

She had to hand it to Jason. If anyone had told her that it was possible to break a Janet out of Hell and get her away from an army of demons using just a Molotov, a single demon exploder gun, and a bag of weed, she’d have been very sceptical. But somehow he managed to bring their not-a-girl home, riding back in that hand-cart, grinning away as if he’d gone to a Jaguars game with her.

That was one problem dealt with. Now only a billion others to sort out.

As overjoyed as she’d been to see Janet back, safe and sound, she hadn’t been looking forward to reliving the most awful night of the year by explaining to her why their tall, dandy dressed demon wasn’t at her side, or hadn’t gone to save her.

It was easier to hand her the note that Michael had wrote (or possibly snapped into being after she slammed the door as she was sure even he couldn’t write that fast) before he’d pulled the trigger on himself.

I’m sorry.

I don’t want you to be worrying about how I might betray you or let you down again. If I’m locked up, you’re just going to worry that I’ve escaped. Just leave me in a tank on the other side of the map, or in Janet’s void if you bring her back, or just leave me in the Bad Place. If anything I just wanna ask that you make sure I’m all in there as I’d rather not come back shorter. Also if you can make sure no dogs are around to lap me up, I’d appreciate it.

I only ever wanted to save you all. I’m sorry I did nothing but screw up. I understand if you don’t want me back in the group after I’m back to normal. Please just get Janet back safe, even if it does mean going to the Judge. And give my best to Chidi when he wakes up.

I wasn’t lying about one thing; I really do love you all so much. I’m sorry it could never be enough.

Michael.

Reading the goo-stained letter with shaking hands, she’d struggled not to burst into tears of anger or throw up. Standing in the middle of the empty room, her friend dripping all around her, she’d wanted to scream at him for this being his best attempt to make things up to her - to forking leave her! To take the cowards way out. 

Being angry was so much easier than accepting the guilt of what she had said to him before that moment. Of questioning if she had gone too far...if she’d just taken a moment to listen to him...Usually the dude had trouble shutting the fork up but that night, all he’d done is stand there and take everything she threw at him...until there was nothing left standing. Literally.

If she’d had any idea he would do something so reckless and stupid then of course she would never have said...

But you did know. You knew exactly what he was prepared to do to help you, if it’s what you said you needed. What you wanted.

She never wanted this, she admits to herself, barely a couple months later.

Running this experiment basically single-handed was...not overly difficult. In fact, she was pretty confident in saying they were doing okay, considering the circumstances. 

But it still sucked. She was alone. Again.

Obviously there was no way she was going to have Michael’s goo abandoned in some random, isolated location. She was mad at the guy but she wasn’t a monster...so she told herself. At the same time, she couldn’t give up the role he’d thrusted upon her by suddenly taking up the role of nurse-maid, as hot as she might have looked in the uniform. He’d chosen to do this so she could work without distractions. Without a liability. 

“He sacrificed himself to save me. We’re on our own now. Let’s make it count.”

Just get the fork on with things, same as before. No point in looking back.

Tahani is the one who volunteers. She’s able to separate herself from the other humans without causing too much suspicion, claiming the need for a private getaway up in the hills, deep in the valley, a hidden fancy lodge by a stream, surrounded by peaceful deer and mountains. Definitely not Eleanor’s scene, anything involving the wilderness or even resembling camping.

By the time Eleanor sees her off on a private car Derek conjured up, Michael’s goo already reached its first form. The blind, helpless demon larva showed no signs of awareness of his surroundings, curling up as small as possible, malleable as Tahani swaddled him in her fluffiest blanket. Eleanor was almost impressed at how quickly the sexy giraffe had overcome being grossed out at the slimy, squidgy creature, able to look almost maternal as she carried him into the car. And she made sure to say as much.

Tahani’s heavy hearted response would stick with Eleanor for the next few weeks; “I didn’t reassure him when he asked us if we could ever be friends with a gross monster. Best I can do is show him how much we truly care.”

Ouch. Way to kick her in the girl-nads.

“You sure you’ll be okay?”

“I’ve helped out in multiple animal sanctuaries and used to fly out to work with deprived children with my dear friend Angelina...But this is definitely new territory for me.” She’d said as she looked over the larva demon, making the tiniest cooing noise in his sleep (or what they assumed was sleep). “I’ll try my best.”

That was all any of them could do. She’d contemplated attempting to speak to the larva Michael in her arms. What could she possibly say? Could he even understand her?

She was still angry. And yet it was difficult to connect the anger towards the one who abandoned her to the pathetic looking being in the blanket. Best to save all those harsh words on the tip of her tongue for when he was back to being tall and slappable. 

Is he really the one you want to slap?

The question comes back to haunt her more frequently each night that follows, whenever she thinks back on that night, or wonders how the two of them are doing. She and Tahani send letters often via the birds who are happy to act as messengers. They just have to be careful none of the humans intercept them. She lets her gorgeous friend know how the experiment is going and Tahani offers her tips on how to improve John, in particular. Every time she goes to write ‘how is Michael?’ she erases it, chest tightening. Tahani tells her anything important.

The slug monster form that follows the larva is a lot more challenging, she reports. He’s now the size of a Tibetan huskie and just as hungry.

I just let him roam the fields and eat what he can find. Sometimes I have to pull him in on a leash if he doesn’t tire himself out, otherwise I worry he’ll slither off in the night. I try to talk to him but he just grunts or roars at me until I tell him off. I was a little worried he might try to eat me but I found playing music - 80′s classics, mostly - calms him down and makes him rather docile. I don’t think he knows quite who I am or remembers anything. Perhaps it’s like when Janet is rebooted? He may need time to restore his memories, as she did.

Oh, darn, I must finish - he’s in the rose bush again!

Sometimes the image of her prim socialite friend trying to restrain a two-hundred-pound slug monster is so hilarious she can’t help but laugh. Other times she feels more guilt tugging at her soul to go lend a hand.

Is Michael really little more than an animal, in his head, right now? She’s hardly proved herself the best at pet care, though it sounded like Michael overeating was the least of their worries. It pained her to imagine what his head must be going through right now. Is he scared? Confused? Lost? Does he have any emotions other than the instinct to feed?

Does he still blame himself? Does he miss her as much as she...?

The more she sits in that chair in the office, the smaller she feels. It doesn’t belong to her; she’s merely filling it in while he’s gone. She has lunch in silence, remembering the jokes they used to share, the games of trying to aim food in the others mouth across the desk. She remembers him snapping a margarita for her when he knew she needed it most. She remembers his hand on her shoulder. She remembers him finding her at her lowest point, when everyone else had doubted her, turned their backs.

She remembers him, always there. And now she’s lost him.

Was wanting him gone over a stupid lie really worth all of this?

When Jason returns with Janet, on the same day she’s hesitating whether to jump on the nearest unicorn and head towards the mountains, she takes it as a sign. She has no excuse to stay away now - not with Janet back to watch over things, though she’ll probably be paying Michael a visit soon too.

She rides up on the train Janet conjures for her, saving her from trying to figure out how to ride a unicorn without breaking her neck. Something tells her she might have more luck at taming a slug monster than her British friend, not that she has any experience, just a few encounters with the grosser men in Arizona. Besides, it was Michael, at the end of the day. Their Michael.

The same Michael willing to sacrifice himself to help a bunch of cockroaches.

It’s such an idyllic landscape she arrives at. A total holiday card photo, without the snow. Nothing but grass and trees for miles before a backdrop of purple mountains. She looks around, seeing the evidence of devoured flower gardens and broken fences. At least the solid, oak cabin by the stream stood in tact, smoke billowing from the chimney. 

Eleanor is so focused on keeping her eyes peeled for a rampaging slug monster that she almost fails to spot the little person sat on the front step of the veranda.

She frowns. That has to be the whitest child she’s ever laid eyes on. Granted most kids growing up in Phoenix were smothered in fake tan before they were three by their moms, but this is something else. The kid has long white hair, half-plaited, down to the shoulders of the cream dress she’s wearing. Her skin is so pale it’s nearly translucent. Fork, is she looking at an actual ghost?

Wait...She’s a ghost. That really shouldn’t freak her out.

There’s just something so eerie about the little girl, from her sickly appearance to how weirdly quiet she is for...However old she is. Six? Seven? Thirteen? Eleanor really knows nothing about kids, just that they’re usually much louder than this one, sat alone, playing with a set of shining...

Oh.

“Michael?”

The kid looks away from the chain of a paperclips they were linking, gazing up at Eleanor on the gravel path. As soon as she sees their eyes, she has her answer. Even without a pair of glasses, she’d recognise those sparkling blue eyes anywhere. It’s only then that she remembers the third form.

Spooky little girl.

Though far less spooky than she imagined. More...sad.

Despite her surprise, she tries to smile, not knowing how badly she needed to see those eyes look at her again after this past month.

“Hey, buddy. How’re you feeling?” She starts to approach.

The kid drops the paperclips and jumps up to their feet, beginning to tremble terribly, eyes wide as saucers. 

Eleanor stops. Is he afraid? Of her?

“Michael? D’you remember me? It’s Eleanor, dude..”

“‘Hani!” The child cries turning and running inside the cabin. Fork, she knew was bad with kids, but shirt! Eleanor rushes in to follow, unable to hold back.

She enters the cosily furnished cabin to see the pale girl run up to the leg of the six foot beauty standing at the stove and cling to her skirt for dear life.

Tahani looks over from the pot of spaghetti, face fearful at first before lighting up when she spots her friend stood in the foyer.

“Eleanor! What a lovely surprise.” She beams, turning the stove off; “I’m so glad you decided to visit.”

“Wow...You’re kinda rocking the whole rustic single mom look here, babe.” Eleanor says, looking around the place, everything making her feel so warm and comforted from the open fireplace to the heavy air of recently baked bread. 

Tahani looks down to her charge hanging onto her dress, reaching down to pick the little fingers off carefully.

“Well, it was rather nice to have a project to myself, and Derek was surprisingly helpful. Everything else I acquired myself, having learned to survive in the wild from a well known ‘Bear’ friend of mine.” She holds the kid’s hands and bends down to their eye level; “Michael, sweetheart, look who’s come to visit. Remember Eleanor?”

The demon child whimpers, throwing their arms around Tahani’s neck and hiding in her luscious dark hair.

Eleanor bites her lip; “He’s a lot more shy than the slug monster, I take it.”

“Oh, I don’t understand. They were fine with Jason this morning, they were playing video games for hours - he and Janet teleported over briefly to check in on us. So glad they got back safe.”

So Jason gets a teleport but she takes the train? The first time she’s not an immortal being’s favorite to spoil.

Eleanor shuffles her feet, trying not to feel wounded at how terrified her friend currently is of her, when apparently there was no issue with Jason. But then, Jason makes it difficult for anyone to dislike him. Eleanor makes it an open invitation. 

The kid whispers something to Tahani that causes the woman to pick them up.

“Oh, darling, don’t be silly.” She responds, rubbing their back; “That was just a nightmare.”

“Nightmare?” Eleanor asks. Is she the stuff of nightmares?

Tahani eventually convinces the pale kid to go back outside to continue playing while she catches up with Eleanor.

Questions Tahani has about the experiment and the subjects get quickly brushed aside. Eleanor is unable to focus on anything but the image of Michael’s eyes looking at her with so much fear. When Tahani hands her a fresh cup of cofffee, she wants to stick her hand in it, just to scold herself for the sake of it.

“He’s having nightmares? I mean...she’s having...” Eleanor frowns.

“I find it easier to use ‘they/them’, which Michael seems to prefer as well, currently.” Tahani explains; “Most of the time, they’re a calm, affectionate child. Such a welcome change from the beast I was putting up with a fortnight ago, as much as they grew on me. It’s just at night, while their brain is still reforming and all these memories are flooding back...It can be rather distressing. Trust me, it’s heart-breaking just to see them crying and screaming...”

She can’t imagine that recalling centuries of brutally torturing innocents along with the knowledge of why that was wrong is easy for anyone, least of all in the form of a small girl, creepy or not.

“Honestly, the creepiest I’ve encountered so far is them levitating at the end of my bed - and that’s usually when they’re just looking for a cuddle.”

Eleanor smiles a little, Michael never was the best at being a truly ‘frightening’ demon.

“And I’m in these nightmares?”

Tahani sighs; “I suppose the memories of their last night are mixed up with everything else. They just...were worried you were here to say something mean or...you wanted them gone.”

Fork-sake. 

“I never wanted this, Tahani. I never wanted him to...Shirt, I didn’t even think he could, but...” She struggles to hold back tears; “I shouldn’t have come. I’ve just made him...Them more upset. Fork knows what I’d be in for if I stayed for the Teenage Boy phase. He’d probably set my hair on fire as payback.”

Bratty Michael in his fully grown form had been enough to handle. A hormonal one with amnesia was a whole other level.

“Eleanor. Just go talk to them.” Tahani presses; “This whole distancing thing you two are doing to deal with your falling out is dangerous. You’re not going to fix anything by staying away from them. As I kept telling my good friend Courtney when she had a row with my other friends, Lisa and Jennifer - you just need to communicate!”

“Babe, they’re afraid to even be alone with me.” She’s the monster under the bed now. All because she took one sin he committed to heart and forgot about all the good he’d done for her that outweighed it.

“Then stay, there’s plenty of room. Even if it means we swap and you stay here and I return to help with the experiment. Either way, this needs to be sorted out. I don’t believe demons are supposed to be this upset during their growth...You could help with that.”

Can she? She’s not the nurturing type, like her hot friend. She melted her own doll in the microwave as a kid. And she unwittingly talked her own demon bestie into exploding himself.

Tahani’s hand squeezing her wrist gives her some strength. 

“...Okay. I’ll try.” she meets her eyes; “Is Michael the only one allowed to snuggle in bed with you when they’re scared?”

Ten minutes later, she goes to find the creepy girl outside, this time sat among the flowers, being far more gentle with them than her previous slug form was. 

Eleanor approaches slowly.

“Michael? Buddy?”

The kid gasps, standing up again and flinching back. Eleanor raises her palm.

“Please don’t run away. I promise I won’t hurt you...and I won’t be mad.” She says, soft as she can manage, getting down to the ground; “And I’m not gonna make you go away anywhere. I just wanna chat...That ok?”

Michael doesn’t look too convinced, glancing over at the cabin. Looking for the one constant they’ve had, who’s been here for them, caring for them. Where Eleanor should have been, at least sometimes.

Okay. Time for the trump card.

“I got you something. Tahani said you have trouble sleeping. I thought maybe this guy could help?” She produces the minion toy from behind her back.

Michael’s eyes sparkle and he instantly reaches out to take it.

“So ugly!” They cheer, hugging it to their front.

Eleanor chuckles. Still so easily impressed.

“Can’t argue there...Also, I picked up those paperclips of yours. Did you know you can do this with them?” She holds up the chain; “Gimmie your wrist a minute.”

Michael frowns, hiding behind the toy a little.

“I won’t bite, dude. Kids are way too gross to eat. You’re too stringy and bony.” She wrinkles her nose.

They blink at her before slowly holding out their wrist. Eleanor takes the paperclips and links them around Michael’s arm, forming a bracelet.

The child gasps, clearly thinking they’ve seen it for the first time; “Holy motherforking shirtballs.”

“Damn, you kiss Tahani with that mouth?” That must have been another residue memory tucked away.

Michael sneers; “Kissing is gross.”

“It’s pretty weird if you think about it, yeah.” She concedes, glad they’re at least talking, as much conversation as she can have with a billion year old immortal that’s lost their mind as they regrow in the body of a haunting little girl; “...What about hugs? You like them, right?”

The kid nods, eagerly.

“...Maybe I could have one, someday? If we can be friends? I’d like that...” More than they could know right now. More than anything else, even having Chidi remember her. This...This is just as painful, because she can’t be sure if this is fixable. 

Eleanor crosses her legs as she sits, facing her friend.

“I’m so sorry, Michael. I know...you don’t understand that right now but...I’m sorry for why you’re scared of me...I wouldn’t ever wanna hurt you. Please believe me.”

Trust me? God, she’s such a hypocrite. 

The kid eyes her, up and down, before turning to the flowers. They bend down, picking a few up into a small bouquet of daisies. Michael turns and hands it out to her.

“Oh...Uhh....Thanks...” Eleanor reaches for them.

Michael’s blue eyes flash red. The flowers burst into flames.

“Forking shirt!” Eleanor jumps.

And still the kid holds them out; “Pretty, right?”

A heartfelt laugh tumbles out of her; “...I can tell Jason’s been here.” Or maybe that was part of her friend’s demon nature. Either way, it was adorable. “Thank you, Michael.” she says, taking the flaming daisies. “You know...if you want, I could show you how to make chains out of these? We could make a crown for Tahani?”

“And ones for me and you?” Michael asks, hopeful.

Eleanor’s lip quivers, a sudden lump in her throat. She reaches out to run her palm over her friend’s white hair, soft as it’s always been; “Yeah...Me and you too, bud.”