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thestupidhelmet · 1 month ago

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In what ways would you say the T90S gang don't feel like 90s teenagers at all? The scene where Gwen is like: "let's just say it: masturbation" out loud in the Hub comes to mind, but I am sure there's more. I am curious what your take is.

"Speaking as a child of the nineties ... " -- Eddie Vedder, "Habit"

Kurt Cobain's suicide was a traumatic and divisive tragedy that impacted '90s teens significantly and in a variety of ways. That '90s Show begins a little over a year after his death, yet no one mentions him or Nirvana. Watching Courtney Love read portions of Kurt's suicide letter, hearing her voice, was a collective experience. Many teens grieved deeply. Some contemplated suicide, some attempted it, and some sadly succeeded.

Insensitive teens reacted with ridicule, contempt, and glee to those who grieved his passing.

The Pacific Northwest rock scene (dubbed grunge as a joke, but the name stuck), its meaningful lyrics and '70s-classic-rock- and punk- influenced music, and the social activism of bands like Pearl Jam had a profound impact on teens in the '90s. That influence is wholly missing in That '90s Show.

East Coast and West Coast gangsta rap was also a big part of teen culture in the '90s, including the deadly feud between the two groups (granted, Tupac's murder occurred in September 1996, and T9S season 2 ended in August 1996).

At the most positive end of the 1990s social spectrum, kids grew up with a diverse group of friends and peers -- not only in terms of race, ethnicity, religion (or the lack thereof), sexuality, and gender, but also personalities, life backgrounds, music preferences, and all levels of academic and emotional intelligence (from Kelso to the direct opposite of Kelso 😂).

Multicultural clubs were a thing, where people shared their cultures (e.g., food, family history, religious rituals, etc.) and empathized with one another as humans first.

Differences of all kinds were points of connection, not division. This inclusive, accepting majority of students across grades 9-12 stood in sharp contrast to the small group of exclusionary, (hard) drug-addicted white kids who believed in a Jackie-esque social hierarchy / popularity. They'd ruled in middle school, but the majority of high school students didn't fit their ideal.

Gay-straight alliances were also a thing, with openly gay teachers running them. Teen drag queens performed at school talent shows. Gay teens brought their same-sex romantic partners to Prom.

But, as I said, this was the positive end of the spectrum. At the most negative, '90s kids grew up with other kids who had neo-nazi leanings and felt pressured to join for fear of becoming isolated and/or a target. X-ethnicity or X-race kids vs. Y-ethnicity or Y-race kids was a thing, with both being victim and perpetrator depending on the school. Homophobia was normal, as was ableism.

The '90s teen experience was not homogeneous.

Many teens had troubled family lives with some level of instability. At the worst, teens became emancipated from their parents before the age of eighteen and financially supported themselves. Some teens lived in trailer parks with Edna-esque mothers and absent fathers. Others lived with their adult boyfriends by choice. Still others were kicked from their mom's house because Mom was bipolar and unmedicated or teen was addicted to speed; these teens found shelter at their best friends' more stable homes.

Teens could be politically active or ignorant, but they weren't necessarily dogmatic in their political leanings. They debated each other respectfully.

Shows like Saturday Night Live, The Simpsons, Beavis and Butthead, Ren and Stimpy, the WWF/WWE, Seinfeld, and My So-Called Life were consistently referenced and discussed.

People living with AIDS visited schools and spoke about their experiences, as did Holocaust survivors.

School sports teams, whether small scale or large, were very much a part of '90s teen life. Either one was in a team, a cheerleader or step dancer, or had friends on the teams.

But teens' sense of safety and place in the U.S. was different than today. Again, it wasn't homogeneous, but it did have an essence specific-to-the-decade -- and this essence is not portrayed in That '90s Show. The '90s for teens was a combination of urgency, seriousness, self-importance, self-sacrifice, narcissism, empathy, kids having life experiences (due to parental neglect or willful ignorance) that were far too dangerous for them to have.

The Internet was only starting to be used by teens, and it consisted of message boards and twenty-five cent emails. Then chat rooms.

Playing video and computer games together, in the same room, was a common pastime.

Sexual activity was discussed among the closest of friends, as was masturbation, but in private and generally one-on-one. But teens made out in school stairwells. Couples had arguments in school stairwells. They broke up in school stairwells. 😂

Parties at teens' houses included everyone from freshmen to seniors. Freshmen binged forties, bottles of malt liquor. Lots of kids smoked pot on the balcony. Sex happened in bedrooms. Teens danced drunkenly.

Some girls went to age-appropriate clubs, and others used fake IDs to get into twenty-one-and-over clubs ... got into vans with men twice their age and survived the experience. Sexual consent was dubious at best but, in reality, non-existent. Lots of statutory rape of drunken teens who didn't view or understand what happened as rape.

Schools were filled with a measure of high functioning alcoholics and stoners (both academically-minded and not), kids who did hard drugs like speed and heroin -- and sadly didn't survive the experience.

They were also filled with academically-focused students who were relatively straight-edge. They were friends with the stoners and high-functioning alcoholics -- and were never pressured to join in on their drug and alcohol use (yet again, not a homogeneous experience).

Some students (of all races and ethnicities) were drug dealers.

That '70s Show, while the era is part and parcel of the characters and stories, captures the essence of what '90s teens experienced to a good degree. It successfully explores the seriousness of teenage struggles while also being funny.

The superficiality of That '90s Show and its characters is why I didn't connect with it deeply. For example, Leia's '90s Lisa Loeb fantasy is funny but fluff. I didn't want or need her to be a high-functioning alcoholic who's also class president with a GPA of 3.7. 😅 She also didn't have to be bisexual or gay.

But the reasons given for her struggles as a teen in Chicago are flimsy. She comes across as somewhat depressed in T9S's first episode. She's portrayed as having two loving and emotionally stable parents, as well as an equally loving and stable extended family. Being an outcast at her Chicago school because she's on the debate team and in band -- it's possible but unlikely.

Higher emotional stakes were necessary, and they would've made the humor more impactful. Perhaps Leia actually suffered from depression, likely reactive as it's portrayed on the show. It clears up once her friendship with Gwen (and Gwen's friends) begins. Why? What about her life in Chicago is so painful? Not fitting in with her peers, sure, but give a deeper and more realistic/tied-to-the-'90s reason.

As I've discussed previously, I would've written her as bisexual or gay. But she could also have a learning disability -- and frustrated, emotionally disregulated reactions to it that established a reputation among her school peers from first grade, a rep she couldn't shake even as she learned tools to work with her learning disability.

Or maybe her group of best friends excluded her once they reached middle school because their interests no longer aligned. They moved fast toward older activities (e.g., sex, drinking, drugs) while she remained focused on academics and being twelve and thirteen. And/or became invested in what was going on in the country and the world.

Or she was bullied at school from day one with a headmaster who didn't care.

Or Eric and Donna's parenting style put too many limits on her.

Or anything that carries some weight.

Gwen's character in season 1, by comparison, is more connected to the '90s era. Not by much, but her home life is a strange mix of stable and messy. She has riot grrrl vibes, but the show doesn't dive deeper into this aspect of her. Instead, they make her rebelliousness generic and not specific to the feminist movement of the time. The show should've embraced the specificity of the '90s instead of sprinkling it on like glitter.

Jay is a modified Kelso clone who says bro with Nate to the point of torture. He and Nate resemble Joey Lawrence's character on Blossom to a degree, a '90s sitcom produced in the '90s (and used the Pinciotti kitchen set before T7S did). But Jay and Nate are both cartoonish, Nate less so in season 2, and they could be plucked out of the 1990s era and placed into today's without any consequences for their characters.

The above is true for all the T9S kids. Nothing about the '90s era is fundamental to who they are.

#that 70s show #that '90s show #tw: suicide mention #tw: rape mention #that '70s show #ask #anon #my meta #my essay #meta #essay #personalish

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coffeeheartaddict2 · 7 months ago

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When life has other plans (16/16)

All's well that ends well

Book: Open Heart (AU)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC Casey Valentine

Word count: 3398

Warnings: language, sexual content

Category: Smutty fluff

Rating: Mature

Summary: It is Casey’s final year of residency. Boards, offers and a few surprises are in stall.

Disclaimer: characters belong to Pixelberry.

Authors note: we made it, last chapter and the happy ending I promised. For those who have endured another angsty AU thank you. I hope you enjoy the ending.

🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

Casey could not believe it. Final year of residency was here. Between her regular duties as a resident and junior fellow, as well as studying for boards there was not much time for anything else, which was the main reason why she declined her nomination to be in the running for chief resident. Jackie was kicking goals with the position though and Aurora was back at Edenbrook also. Casey knew that the medical world would be her oyster after her residency but she was torn. She enjoyed the team and felt she still had much to learn and contribute but at the same time, what was going to be best for her.

After Ethan confessing about the nightmares he had been having, their relationship again grew stronger and closer. In a way Ethan was excited about Casey coming to the end of residency and the next chapter in her career but the ghosts of future chats past was starting to rear its ugly head. He did not want to hold her back in any way but he also knew that if he was out of his reporting lines then they could be more open about their relationship and that any allegation of Casey being where she is only because of him would be less.

On a rare day off for both of them Ethan decided to start a dialogue about their future.

“I am a little scared, the last time I had a “our future chat” was in medical school. To say it did not end well is putting it mildly. I do not want a repeat of that. I know Boards are still several months away but any post residency offers from elsewhere will start coming in before boards…”

“Yeah, I was chatting to Tobias about the other day and how I will not get my Edenbrook one until we get our results, let’s just say if Tobias was still at Kenmore he would have put an offer to me to spite you pretty much.”

Ethan could not help but chuckle.

“In all seriousness Casey, I do not want to hold you back professionally. I know it is not the be all and end all but I also do understand if you wish to move out of my shadow…”

“This much I do know Ethan, I am staying on the East coast, my family are on this side, you are but obviously we will discuss more as time gets closer. What happened with the last chat that had you so scared?” Asked Casey.

“It was med school, I was well into my third year. I had been in a relationship with a fellow student, Estelle. Back in those days I had a big wall so the fact I was in a relationship and had been for nearly 8 months at that point was a big deal. It was coming up to Estelle needing to pick residency and what we wanted to do relationship wise. She asked me if I loved her and I could not say it back. She was distraught and accused me of not being able to see a future. She stormed out and I went to see her the next day to apologize, granted the same apology I had said several times over and I was greeted by a near naked Tobias…”

“Ouch” said Casey, wincing.

“Tobias numerous times had a discussion about my walls and issues and how I needed to address them and well, I did not know how or did not have the drive to do so. I had also assumed that Louise had left me because she did not love me so there was that also.”

Casey squeezed his hand.

“Well I was rather angry as you would imagine. At both of them. That is the point where things between myself and Tobias turned toxic. Estelle after a few weeks kept trying to woo me back but I could not trust her again.”

“Wow, ok, I know you told me that you both liked the same woman in medical school but I had no idea what had happened…” said Casey. “I understand the fear better. As I said earlier, unless they are going to pay my college debt and moving costs and it is a great offer career wise, I am staying on the east coast. And I will not be making this decision unilaterally either.”

Ethan smiles and gives her a hug. This discussion buoyed Ethan even more. Up until Casey, he never saw himself getting married or even a de facto relationship, however, the longer he was with Casey the more he saw the prospect of marriage. It was not something that he broached with her yet but it was something he knew he wanted.

As boards get closer, the busier Casey is with work and study. Ethan is worried about Casey, burning the candle at both ends. Casey understands where Ethan is coming from but she states that she can cope. Her work on the team did not go down nor in her regular duties. He marveled at how well she was going. As much as Casey worked hard she, along with all of her friends, were looking forward to the wedding of Ines. She was getting married in Hawaii. Casey was looking forward to the break. The flight to Hawaii was uneventful if not long. But they made it safely and when they were all checked in Casey went to bed. She awoke the next morning. The sea air bribing back memories of Miami in her intern year. There was a familiar stirring at her core but she refrained, knowing full well that there was plenty of time after the wedding to partake in what she wanted. She got dressed and met Ethan for some breakfast. He introduced her to Kona and Casey loved it. She then went stand up paddle boarding with Aurora and had a blast. Then it was time to get ready for the wedding. Casey picked a strapless floral number that suited the beach location perfectly. She put her hair up in a bun and had a few strands shaping her face. The ceremony itself was beautiful. Casey stayed with her friends for the ceremony and Ethan stuck towards the back. Ethan normally spent weddings wondering why people would take the plunge, but this time he listened to the words of not only Zaid, but the commitments that Ines and Angie made to each other and he then saw himself at an altar, making the same commitments to Casey and a feeling of peace the he never thought he would know lay upon him. He enjoyed some of the activity of the reception but he moved out to a balcony. Casey saw him move and after collecting a slice of cake for him as well as herself, joined him.

“How are you going?” She asks.

“Good, it was a lovely ceremony and I have been enjoying myself.”

“I am glad” says Casey. They enjoy their cake and then they go for a walk on the beach.

“Have you thought about what you want from our relationship long term?” Asks Ethan.

Casey is shocked by the question.

“What do I want as in…”

“Do you see marriage or similar” said Ethan.

“I thought you did not believe in marriage?”

“Well as we have gotten closer I have come to quite a few realizations about what I want in life.” Said Ethan “And events and therapy have helped me realize that what happened in my past does not need to dictate my future, which in away I had been doing.”

“I must admit, if you told me at the beginning of second year that we were in a relationship, I would have thought that person crazy, don’t get me wrong, I am more than happy to be in a relationship, especially given what we have gone through but my mind has so much being on boards and post residency that it has not being at the forefront of my mind but in saying that, I do see a future with you.”

Ethan internally breathed a sigh of relief before saying.

“You do indeed look ravishing in that dress” says Ethan before he plants a searing kiss on her lips. Casey returns the kiss. While Ethan starts kissing the column of her neck, Casey asks, nearly breathless

“Shall we go to my room?”

“Yes please” says Ethan huskily.

They make their way back to the hotel, unable to keep their hands and lips of each other. Once in the lift he lifts he up and she puts her legs around his waist. His hand trails up her thigh and Casey gasps as his hand reaches her drenched centre. He plays with her clit. Casey quietly moans. The elevator reaches their floor and they resume kissing. They arrive at Casey’s room. They enter and Ethan pushes her up against the door. He finds her zip and unzips her dress and the top falls around her waist. Ethan ravishes attention on her chest. He stops and lets her down so that he dress can fall down. He kneels down, laying waste to her underwear and places her leg over his shoulder and kisses up the inside of her thigh to her centre. The session is short and intense and Casey succumbs screaming. “I love you so much” she says breathlessly.

He kisses her before they make their way to the bed. They go several long and rather intense rounds. Ethan falls into an exhausted sleep. Casey lays awake, physically sated and with a feeling of peace. As she lay there, her mind went back to that first time in Miami and how they agreed to the initial arrangement and reflected on how far they had come not only as individuals but as a couple and then she smiled before drifting off into a blissful sleep.

Ethan awoke first, he looked at the gorgeously naked woman who was laying over him and wondered what had he done to be in love with and to receive the same love in return. In that moment he knew he was ready and that he would propose after Casey got her results.

Everyone enjoyed the brief break but when everyone returned, they hit the ground running. Ethan and Tobias tried to lessen Casey’s workload generally so she was not overstretched leading into boards. A few weeks after Hawaii Ethan and Tobias met for lunch socially. It was then that Ethan told Tobias that he was going to propose to Casey. To Ethan’s surprise, he was not surprised at this development. He was very excited for his friend though. Tobias said if he wanted any help shopping or planning the proposal to let him know.

A fortnight before boards Casey was unwell, with a respiratory tract infection for which treatment with antibiotics was needed. Due to being ordered to not even come into work until the course had finished, Casey made a quick recovery. This did not affect her preparations for boards.

The day of the board exams came. Casey and the gang arrived early and waited to be let in. The first part was the multiple choice component with the practical component after lunch. The gang were nervous obviously but on a base level fairly confident. Casey was told by not only Ethan but also by Tobias and by Baz not to overthink the questions. The exam started and there were a mix of tricky and easy questions. Casey felt she was going good until there was a question about the maitotoxin. She had to do a double take and then internally started to panic. She took a few deep breaths and answered the question before carrying on. The morning part came to an end and a visibly shaken Casey retrieved her belongings and made a phone call. Ethan was at Edenbrook, doing paperwork when his phone rang. He looked at phone and Casey’s face was on the screen. He answered the call.

“How are boards going sweetheart?” He asked.

“There was a question about the maitotoxin. It shook me.” Said Casey. “I thought I was over the worst of everything with that bit…”

Casey, breath, please” interjected Ethan. Casey does as she is told. “I can only imagine how traumatic that was to see that question but remember, recovery is not a straight line, but the fact you did not completely have a panic attack is a good sign.”

“Thanks Ethan, I did manage to get through the rest.”

“Glad to hear it, I will see you tonight.”

“See you tonight and I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Casey hangs up and has lunch with the rest of the gang. They discussed how they think they went and the maitotoxin question and Jackie asked a question.

“Has anyone seen Landry?”

“To be honest, I have not looked for him.”

“I did not see Judas” stated Elijah.

“He either ended up elsewhere and this was not his testing location or wherever he ended up did not work out.” Said Aurora.

All agreed though, they were quietly happy that they did not see him.

The afternoon session went without a hitch and then it was time to head home and get ready for the post boards party. Casey was looking forward to this on multiple fronts. She was looking forward to celebrating with her colleagues but also with Ethan. Between work and study, they had not much alone time together and Casey was looking forward to rectifying that. After a nap and a shower she got dressed in a rather salacious red lingerie set, she knew it would be ruined but she did not care. She wore it under a black wrap dress, paired with some heels and she was more than eager to go. The party at Donahue’s was in full swing and it did not take him long to find her. She looked alluring in the black wrap dress and all thoughts of impropriety came rushing forth. She eventually joined him at the bar.

He put his arm around her and whispered how ravishing she looked. Casey suggested that they head back to his house.

Traffic was mercifully good going from the hospital to Ethan’s apartment. As soon as they entered the lift, his lips were on hers. Ethan was a man starved and the journey from the lift to his apartment seemed to take ages. He just about had her up against the wall of his entryway when she told him to stop and guided him to the couch. She stands a little away and slowly takes her dress off. Showing off her new lingerie set inch by painful inch. As soon as her dress came tumbling down he got up and pushed her up against the window. Her breath catches as her back lands on the cool glass. He holds her hands above her head with one hand. He kisses her hard while the other hand plays with the nipple through her bra. He instructs her to keep her arms above her head for which she complies. He kisses down her neck and collarbone. He yanks and rips at her bra before circling her nipples with his tongue before gently sucking them. A slight moan escapes Casey’s lips and he whispers in her ears huskily.

“I am just getting started.”

One hand trails down to go between her legs. Her hips buck at the touch. A groan releases from the back of Ethan’s throat. He moves away slightly to remove his clothes. She quivers when she sees his rock hard cock. He kisses her again hungrily and picks her up, her legs wrapping around his waist. He slowly enters her, allowing time to adjust before moving out and thrusting back in hard.

“Fuck” Casey mutters.

They set an arduous rhythm from the get go and it does not take long for Casey to get close. Ethan holds her on the precipice before he succumbs, triggering Casey’s. He helps her ride it out and then when he feels able, he carries her bridal style to his room. He kisses her gently after laying her down on the bed. The second time is gentler but no less intense. The whole night was filled with sessions equal in intensity. They eventually fell into a deep and blissful sleep.

The last month of residency went in a blur. Naveen stood down as Chief of Medicine. The position was given to Ethan and he was encouraged to seriously think about it. Ethan toyed with giving Casey the team but he knew that would give the misogynists plenty of fodder and he did not want the accomplishment tarnished. Tobias suggested having Casey run it with someone else. Tobias was very impressed with how Casey worked and felt that it would only be a matter of time before she was leading any team in her own right. Ethan then asked Tobias how he felt about running the team, either as a sole leader or co-leadership with Casey for which Tobias replied

“I would very much like to run the team with Casey.”

Now Casey had received several offers. John Hopkins, Mayo, Kenmore, New York Presbyterian, Grossman and Perleman among others. They were all good offers but when Ethan got his offer and started thinking about it and what he wanted to do in the role, the decision was then made that she would stay at Edenbrook.

The last two weeks of residency came and Casey was exhausted. She had been working hard sure but this was another level. On the day that the board results were due, Casey was feeling nauseous. She was nervous about the results but this felt different. She then realized that she was late.

“Fuck” she muttered as the realization that again she was pregnant set in. She ordered herself a blood test. Her board results came in and she had passed with flying colours. She was relieved and excited, especially when she read her Edenbrook offer. Co-running the team with Dr Carrick. She then fought off a wave of nausea.

Her results of the blood test came in by the end of her shift.

She read them while catching the T to Ethan’s apartment.

She was not surprised but also shocked. She arrived at Ethan’s. She saw the romantic setting and was surprised. Especially when she spotted Ethan looking a little nervous.

He offered her a wine, which she declined and she got Ethan to sit down. The ring was sitting in his pocket and with how Casey was looking he all of a sudden became more nervous. He tried to remain calm, but trying to remember what could have upset her was a ball that had already started to move.

Casey could see how nervous he was.

“It is nothing bad Ethan, at least I hope not.”

All overcome with nerves she hands Ethan the result of her blood test. Ethan read, then reread the results again and then he looked over at Casey and he smiled.

“I never thought I would be here, ever, even after the events of the end of your first year. I never considered you an obligation then and I sure do not now. All I do know is that I want it all with you. A marriage, children. Everything. For the longest time I thought I did not deserve any of it and thus ruled it out. But I confronted the issues, with some prompting I admit but I confronted them and even though there will always be a part of me that will wonder if I do deserve it, I do know that the past can be learnt from and that it is not a tool used to dictate my future. I love you so much Casey and I look forward to embarking on life with you, no matter what it has planned.”

He takes a breath and produces a box. He opens it and gets down on one knee.

“Casey, will you make me even happier and marry me.”

Casey was shocked, then looked at the ring. It was gorgeous and then she looked at Ethan.

“Yes, my gosh, Yes.”

He placed the ring on her left hand and they kissed a kiss full of promise of what was to come.

———

Authors note: A fun fact, the ending with the pregnancy was only thought of when I started this chapter. I was always going to have a proposal but it feels full circle now. For those who endured the angst and frustration thank you so much. I hope you all enjoyed the ending

Tagging: @jerzwriter @jamespotterthefirst @cariantha @tessa-liam @youlookappropriate @potionsprefect @liaromancewriter @genevievemd @bex-la-get @crazy-loca-blog @a-crepusculo @zealouscanonindeer @alj4890 @schnitzelbutterfingers @trappedinfanfiction @binny1985 @lucy-268

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

#open heart #ethan ramsey #choices fanfic writers creations #casey valentine #tobias carrick #choices #fic of the week #au #open heart choices

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stirringwinds · 1 year ago

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hey!! i was wondering how you felt about amechu or ameripan? your ship takes are always so interesting!!

I personally find both ame/chu and ame/pan both interesting dynamics to explore—biased as i'm sea/east asian and thinking of transpacific linkages in terms of immigration, cultural exchange, geopolitical rivalry, imperialism and so on…all the good and bad and ambivalent...it's something i find compelling because of how much us-china and us-japan ties have defined the region and world history, from two centuries ago to the present. It's far from an ideal, wholesome relationship on either count, imo. i personally like delving into it in all forms, whether or not there's any romantic or sexual element.

To me, Yao and Kiku are two people with very different histories, but one thing i definitely see being in common vis a vis Alfred is that this is very much an "experienced older man/bold and somewhat arrogant young man" sort of dynamic, with an element of a rivalry in both cases. Granted, for Yao, this comes later—when he first met Alfred in the 1790s during the Old China Trade, Alfred was more like a rebellious debutante fluttering his lashes at the Old World while asking for trade. Alfred was at the same time, unusually polite amongst all the Westerners (tm) in China— because he only had tiny ass ships that couldn't take a punch, back then lmao. Not having a warship in the area is incentive for good manners...which changes later on. Kiku and Alfred's first meeting—in 1853, during the Perry Expedition—is naturally very different. It's the vibe of a shogun warily assessing the smiling, ambitious (and dangerous) young prince proffering "friendship" while pointing a loaded gun. And whom Kiku knows has decided to use this spectacle to announce himself as a world power much like his own father, right on the heels of the Opium Wars.

As a western(ised) diaspora sea/east asian, the cultural linkages forged by immigration are also another reason why I'm interested in Ame/chu and Ame/pan. There's the rich and old history of Chinese and Japanese-Americans, particularly on the West coast of the United States, and there is that enduring cultural legacy forged amidst the struggle to even be accepted, or treated with humanity in the giant basket of contradictions that is America. Yao and Kiku I think, have a lot of mixed feelings about those of their people who set off for those other shores, especially amidst the highly charged politics of 19th—early 20th century. I haven't always explored this in detail in fics, but the concept of nations and immigrants is something I find compelling because of my own mixed cultural background. Overall, I'd say one reason these two relationships interest me a lot out of Alfred's other relationships (whether technically as a ship or otherwise) is the way it situates Alfred as existing very much as a Pacific nation too, not just an Atlantic one, y'know? There's another perspective of world history that is highlighted when you consider looking at the world map like this instead:

#hetalia #hws america #hws china #hws japan #hetalia headcanons

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cloveroctobers · 2 years ago

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bloodwar — JOEL MILLER

A/N: Y’all voted and so shall you receive! Im nervous writing for such a loved character but here goes nothing! If you’re not familiar with my work…I always provide the angst. You’ve been warned.

GIF BELONGS TO: @pedrohub

WARNINGS: I’m always writing my characters with black or POC in mind yet you’re somewhat welcome to imagine whomever as the character/reader is not fully described, fem! Reader, language, lightly paraphrased sexual themes, trauma/lost, & hints of a toxic!relationship the deeper I went into writing this thing. I do believe Joel can find some healthy love romantically but there’s things within himself that needs to be worked through. I am no therapist, I’m simply a girl who likes to make people feel some things with writing so I’ll stfu! Again this is my first time ever writing for this man so I was trying to get into the mind of his character as I wrote so don’t slander me too much if you feel this isn’t right. Lastly this focuses more on uncertainties? That’s it!

˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗ ˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗ ˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗ ˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗

The bruises and Lambrusco weren’t enough for her to forget or to catch her off guard. She noticed him way off, through the fence and across what once would have been pretty pale blue water, turned murky and brown. Getting around that lake would take some time and that time was granted as she left the watch tower with her bow and arrow. The only reason she came down from the watch spot was to retrieve the mischievous lamb that loved to escape the barn.

“Got you, you little shit.” She scolded as the animal kept up the banter; while she scooped it up from underneath the belly.

Her senses then allowed her to hear footsteps before he spoke, “Do you?”

Tension filled her shoulders as she took a sharp inhale before she spun on her heels, revealing the lamb and her new weapon of choice.

“Joel Miller,” the name pushed through her lips, “can’t say it’s a pleasure to see you.”

The man scoffed, “that’s no way to treat the man of your dreams.”

A roll of her eyes was immediate, “you and I both know you weren’t serious.”

This much was true and if it were any other time and circumstance, the words probably would have stung as they left her mouth.

“Yeah, you’re right about that.” Joel muttered as he began to stare, which always irritated the woman.

“Can I help you with something or are you just gonna stand there being a creep with your beady owl-like eyes?”

Joel laughed to himself, almost liking that his presence was getting underneath her skin but also at the fact that she wanted to get right to the point.

“What? I can’t enjoy the view and the luxurious secluded home you’ve got for yourself here?” Joel attempted to tease but the woman didn’t appear to be in a joking mood.

Which the man didn’t bother to take offense to—even if he wanted to, he received the emotionless expression that remained on her oval face and assumed his own features showcased the same, although the little twinkle in inky eyes felt like he attempted to make the mood lighter.

It was her turn to trail her eyes over him and she could tell how much life passed him by. It had been years since she last saw Joel. Their history was shifty and rough from the beginning, since everyone was trying to get adjusted to the downfall of society—being thrown towards a new virus and death filled life it was safe to say, they got into some shit together to survive. They both were not as alone at the start since Joel had his brother Tommy, where they ventured from Austin to the east coast and on their way, they met a woman with no filter and her kind but no nonsense having father in Memphis. It was war from the very moment the Millers stepped onto the Lemelle’s riverboat but a truce between the families brought an unlikely path in their relationship. Eventually she, her father, Joel, and Tommy made it to Boston.

After the death of Kendy’s father, the realization that the QZ was not all it cracked up to be, she made the decision to leave first back in the year of 2010; in search of a place with no restrictions. Yet sharing that news with Joel that summer the sun burned down in almost a red hue and instead of just simply disappearing into the night without a word…was something she wished she would have done instead.

“Tommy or Maria sent you?” Her chin lifted in curiosity.

Joel exhaled, “I’m sure you know the answer to that already. I get the sense Maria and I are not gonna be the best of friends.”

“Whaaat? Don’t tell me you never wanted a sister?”

Joel just blinked at her, “fuck off, Kendy.”

“Hey you came to me,” her face held mock innocence, “what you see is what you damn get. Also mind you, I’m the one with the weapon.”

“Yet I’d probably get to that thing before you can even aim to shoot. Lamb chops sounds pretty darn good to me.” Joel warned but Kendy looked more offended than horrified.

The lamb seemed to tilt its head at Joel’s statement as well, floppy ears almost appearing alert.

Which was weird to witness…

“you sure about that grandpa?” Kendy cooed as she pulled her knee up to balance the weapon before adding, “what’s the matter, they’re not feeding you well out in Jackson?”

Joel scoffed and folded his arms as he peered out into the distance of Driggs, pretending to think about it. Of course the food was good, real good considering back in Boston the lbs for food were mostly scraps and back out into the destructive world with Ellie was way worse. Sure he stuffed his belly until it became bloated and uncomfortable but he didn’t want to get used to it, regardless of settling—staying—stationing? in Jackson.

There was no use in complaining about the way things are.

Joel was always about action.

“Why here?” Joel steered the conversation elsewhere, “You’re a great distance away from Wyoming.”

Kendy hummed, “forty-four minutes by car. Longer by foot, which is just fine by me.” Before carrying on, “Did you really expect me to be there too, waitin’ around?”

“I don’t fucking know,” Joel exasperated, “it’s a sense of community, belonging or whatever they’re trying to go for. Something that would have been good for you and—

Kendy almost stopped breathing, the gears turning in her head, thinking Joel was first hinting at some sort of relationship that wasn’t platonic with his brother, taking into consideration that the pair got along well, however the way he rubbed at his mouth in frustration told her his words were aiming at another topic.

“Ah, now I see why you felt obligated to be here. Trust me, I don’t need this.” Kendy hissed, turning back around to head to the barn.

Joel hesitated because part of him didn’t want to do this either…yet it’s been a long time coming. Thirteen years to be exact. He’s in a whole other state and he didn’t travel all this way, by himself (persuading Ellie to stay back with Tommy for at least a couple of days, was hard work and he expected the freckled face girl to find a way to keep close. However Joel didn’t miss how Ellie was starting to spend some time with a certain girl named, Dina.) to not get the answers he deserved.

“Trust?” Joel stomped after her, “I dunno how you want me to do that darlin’ when you’re the one who ran from me, knowing you were carrying a child. My child.”

She whipped back around, making Joel almost bump into her but she shoved him back with a fist pressed to his chest. Her eyes were heated as she met his stare, “it didn’t matter! I wasn’t your problem anymore, ‘good riddance,’ remember? You really think a child would have fixed what we were? We couldn’t get along if we weren’t on top of each other.”

“You still should have had the decency to tell me something. It’s not right how you did it. How I have to find this shit out from my baby brother but even still…he didn’t tell much. So you better start talking.” Joel glared, pointing a finger in Kendy’s face.

Kendy slapped his finger away, “I don’t know who you think you are, Joel Miller but you don’t get to show up here and make demands. This time, I won’t hesitate to put one right in your chest if you keep pushin’ me.”

“Will you put the damn lamb and arrow down, Robin Hood, so we can have a decent conversation?” Joel snorted, finding this image almost humorous, if his blood wasn’t simmering, “I can’t take you seriously.”

Kenny scoffed, “well you better! Seeing you again and talking to me crazy is making me want to go back to old Kendy.”

Joel deeply inhaled and pinched at the bridge of his straight but hooked nose. He was aware what that means, the whole shoot and ask questions later was what life was like at the start of the outbreak and it only increased once they crossed paths.

He still had a bald spot, that no form of nioxin would cure! thanks to the woman throwing an axe at the top of his head (it happened sometime in January of 2004, Joel remembered Tommy slipping on the ice on the boat floor, surprised the younger man didn’t catch that in their stealth—although it seemed he didn’t get much sleep before their arrival to the water. Which caused quite the commotion before the real physical events transpired) , temporarily trapping him against the door the minute he got close to where she was located on the boat. Joel recalled the burning sensation of his hair being ripped from his scalp as he yanked himself from the wall, axe still having a hold on his thick hair, as he struggled to pull the axe from the wooden door.

“And here I thought Jackson was all for redemption, guess Maria isn’t as convincing as she seems.” Joel mumbled.

Kendy gave him a blank stare for a moment before she replied, “not too much on Maria now. Yes she’s opinionated and we don’t always see eye to eye either but shes a great asset to that community and she makes your brother happy. So accept that or talk that shit out when you get back because I won’t continue to listen to anymore jabs you want to toss out while you’re here.”

Joel raised his brows, “you’re gonna let me stay?”

“It’s getting dark out and I’m guessing you left your car across the lake so…you can stay in the barn or the tower. Your choice.” Kendy decided while she entered the said barn.

Joel shook his head, “I’m not sleeping with the damn farm animals.”

“We’ve all slept in much worse places, don’t get uppity on me now, Miller.”

Joel crossed his arms, “You get a one star for hospitality, Ken’.”

“Which is exactly why I put my two weeks in after three days of working at this hotel during my college years so thanks, sugar.” Kendy clapped back, making Joel shake his head in disapproval but not surprised.

Joel watched as Kendy showed almost this nurturing demeanor with the lamb and sheep, silently wondering what she was like with their own child…that was still bizarre to process and Joel was unsure if he even processed this although he was standing face to face with the woman he created another being with! It had been days since he found out this piece of information and now he was trying to do something about it. When they were intimate with each other, Joel foolishly never thought of the possibility of Kendy becoming a mother. He never brought it up because he obviously had no intentions on being that ever again, or spoke much of their past lives once their bodies fell into each other’s hands. It was a after thought when she sat down on him, so warm and sturdy. He was cold, this he knew but falling in love was never in the cards for him, especially with the world crumbling with the little pieces it had left.

What he had left.

He’s seen Kendy and how she was tender to her father once he got sick, he knew Kendy still had soft parts inside of her despite the jagged scar that trailed from the corner of her left eye and down the apple of her cheek, the delicate was still there—just don’t tell her that.

Part of her found something to care for to keep going, even if it were deemed as little things or “nothing” at all in her eyes. Did that also include a child?

Which is why Joel battled with himself on seeking answers. He didn’t speak to Tommy for days after the curly haired man blurted out the secret Kendy withheld from the older Miller. Joel was the one who brought Kendy up, at the saloon one late night, after everything failed at the hospital with Ellie. It was hypocritical of him—sure—but this secret was way before Ellie had been a thought of being the cure.

Joel still wasn’t entirely sure what he was expecting to get out of Kendy. The idea of becoming a father again, scared him shitless but he wouldn’t show it. Kendy didn’t create this child all by herself and they had to be grown now, however fatherhood was never a easy task and life after the outbreak was just as stressful; throw a fourteen year old into the mix and it was constant worry from there. He initially wanted to warn Tommy about this and actually deemed him a, “dummy,” for bringing a kid into this fucked up time, until tommy let the news slip from his lips when it really wasn’t his place.

Drops of rain were cool against the Idahoan spring before they started to pelt. Joel shielded the top of his head, standing at the entrance of the shelter as Kendy made her way through the barn, locking and boarding it up just in case she got any other visitors tonight.

“Come on,” Kendy waved the man to follow her to the back entrance of the craftsmanship home, just as the wind began to pick up.

Yanking the blinds down over the glass door, she made sure to lock it and set her bow down by the rest of the archery kit. Joel took the invitation as he scanned the home, straight ahead held an ajar door, he then walked through the small entry way on his left, noticing a set of stairs to the right and headed into the next area which held the kitchen and living room with two other window-framed doors that lead outside, suddenly peaking around for any other source of life.

“Where’s—

“Joel,” Kendy clipped, “take off your damp shoes, you’re tracking mud. Do you want some wine or coffee first before we tackle this, since you’re so adamant to talk?”

Joel peeled off his jacket and bag, before using the couch arm to kick off his shoes with his feet. He then held them up silently asking where he should put them and Kendy pointed at the front entrance door.

He then replied, “Coffee.”

“Black, no sugar and no cream.” Kendy whispered to herself as she went to the kitchen, fighting with her intrusive thoughts to tell him to make it his damn self.

Joel silently watched her for a moment before he headed over to the wood stove which seemed to be going already. His eyes still searched the walls for any pictures or sculptures just like Tommy and Maria had in their own home but the walls were empty besides it’s horrible aqua color.

His attention was brought back to Kendy, walking by him, reaching for the handle on the stove, opening it to reveal the fire behind. She squatted down, mitten reaching for the tray to place the mug right on top, before shoving it back over the center of the fire. She counted sixty seconds before pulling back out, closing the stove and moving back to the side table to place the black coffee down.

“Give it a few minutes,” Kendy told the man who dipped his head as he moved back to the spot he claimed on the sofa.

Kendy soon made her way around, taking a seat on the opposite couch, bottle of Lambrusco and wrapped herself in some fur blanket that probably belonged to one of her many sheep.

Sorry animal lovers, desperate times call for desperate measures and you’re supposed to help the sheep shed their fur from time to time!

Taking a swing from the bottle, Kendy deeply inhaled after swallowing before her eyes set back on Joel, “okay. Ask away but don’t ask to respond. Listen, or else we won’t get far tonight.”

Joel rubbed at his pants legs, hearing Kendy and decided to not pick that response apart.

“…when did you know?”

“Not long after you and Tess.”

Which happened once after they both had too much to drink and Kendy wasn’t in the mood.

Believe me, Joel’s knows how shitty that was, he was the one who lived it.

“There was no Tess and I.” Joel uttered, not getting the chance to further explain that relationship but they were friends who spent time together as smugglers.

There was chemistry there regardless.

“So just like us, got it.” Kendy snapped her fingers, breezing over that as she ordered, “Next question.”

Joel scratched at his salt and pepper beard, “was the…baby also the reason why you wanted to leave? Did you think I’d ever find out?”

“A small part of it yes. We already know what the main reason was: Boston’s QZ was becoming dangerous and suffocating just staying there, I needed to get out whether you knew i was carrying or not.” Kendy answered, taking another sip from the bottle.

Joel could understand that but he figured it wasn’t any easier being out there on your own especially with a life growing inside of you, her elderly father was deceased and Tommy was debating on another trip out (with the damn fireflies and Joel wasn’t sure which pissed him off more!) ; although they shared hushed conversations about their exit…part of Joel still didn’t understand why she put herself through that on her own.

“Well how did that work out for you?”

Kendy let out a humorless laugh at the sarcasm that radiated off Joel, pulling one leg up onto the couch, “just dandy. I’m living the dream with my sheep and this eye-blinding house.”

Alone.

He breathed out a laugh through his nose, mind fuzzy, heart not feeling as steady as it should as he fidgeted with his hands. Before he got the next question out, he turned to grip the mug by the handle and brought it to his lips. The steam mists his nostrils as he took a sip of the coffee, the heat not bothering him in the slightest while the dark liquid slid straight to his stomach, igniting the impulse to see some action.

“Was Idaho the place you envisioned to raise the kid?”

Kendy closed her eyes briefly as she said, “No. I didn’t see myself as a mother because I didn’t have much of one in my life. It wasn’t really a goal of mine. I stayed in Pennsylvania for awhile, three months maybe? made a friend that was once in the medical field and thankfully she helped me through it all.”

“She helped you deliver and then what?” He pried.

Joel rested his elbows on his knees, eyes set on the woman not so far from him this time. He felt the shift in the room rising as he continued to ask whatever popped into his head. He noticed the woman rack her nails against the black bottle, plump bottom lip with a beauty mark on it moving to the right as she bit down on it out of habit.

This was something she commonly did, Joel remembered that.

“Joel…it’s been thirteen years.” Kendy averred, “I couldn’t do it.”

Joel tried to keep his breathing steady, “meaning what? You got rid of it? Let this friend take care of them…what Kendy?”

He was never a man with patience.

And Kendy had time to cope with this.

So instead she got to her feet, holding the neck of the bottle to place on the coffee table before she set her eyes back on Joel. He leg began to bounce as it seemed Kendy was almost playing a game with his mind right now. A frown of his brows appeared in between them while she began to unbutton her jeans, pulling them down some and yanking up her shirt to reveal a scar underneath her navel.

“It was a ectopic pregnancy. I needed surgery, I was bleeding out and Kristi did what she had to do. I almost died and I kinda wished I did, along with that baby. And finally away from all this shit.” Kendy vented.

Joel felt a smidge of bile rising in this throat but taking another swing of coffee pushed it back down. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel, or if there was a right way to feel.

“So…this was for nothing then.”

Kendy blinked, “what?”

“Coming out here, seeing you, and almost having wishful thinking when you killed the baby that you originally didn’t want and I wasn’t sure I even wanted.” Joel told, placing the mug back on the table.

Kendy couldn’t help the cackle that escaped her lips. She had to press her fingertips to her lips as she pointed her pointer finger up and down at the man.

“Nothing’s really changed with you and this is the exact reason why I should have put an arrow right through your chest where your heart is supposed to be,” Kendy seethed, “you’re a very broken person with no ounce of mercy. I saw it in your eyes the day I met you and I should have believed that then.”

“If that was true then you’d already be dead, back in Memphis, on that boat. So don’t stand there and try and tell me who you think I am.” Joel lowly stated.

Kendy huffed, pulling her jeans back up her wide hips and buttoning them before raising her hands, “why not when you’ve already shown me exactly that? You’ve never given a damn about me and certainly wouldn’t give a damn if the baby lived! Nobody compares to—

“Shut up! You don’t get to speak her name!” Joel was also on his feet now, absolutely aware what wanted to leave her lips.

The room was quiet for a mere second, besides the crackle of fire in the wood stove and the dash of rain outside.

Kendy tilted her head to the side, framed piece of hair sliding to cling to her eyelash, “Sarah.”

And that set Joel off, a forearm going to Kendy’s throat and his hand slapping against her mouth. He harshly breathed into Kendy’s face as he glared down at her. The rings of bags underneath her eyes showed just how tired he felt. He’s never spoken to Kendy about Sarah but it didn’t take her long to figure it out with his nightmares when they slept in the same space, going city to city.

Tommy only implied that he and Joel lost someone prior to their role of survival and Joel’s said her name a few times in his sleep.

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” Joel gritted, “you think I haven’t changed when it’s you who hasn’t. You’re a know it all without actually knowing anything. You run any chance you get, always thinking about what’s best solely for you and nobody else. What a lonely life, don’t you think?”

A fist went to the side of his neck first, catching the man off guard, followed by a knee going up into his abdomen, leaving Joel fighting to catch his breath. He let go of Kendy who circled around and crouched to get into Joel’s face.

“Why would I stay? Imagine me having a normal pregnancy in my forties and having a child with a screwed up man that can’t love? Or doesn’t even like me enough? I’d say I dodged a bullet here and I thank god.” She rested a hand on his shoulder, using her other to bring the cross around her neck to kiss with a wicked smile.

Once Joel got his breath back, with the quickness, he swooped his arm underneath Kendy’s, locking her in his hold as he yanked her side to his chest by the shoulder. Kendy winced as she tried to spin her body out of his hold and when he wouldn’t let go, she tried to ram her shoulder into him but with his grip, he merely stumbled.

“Get off me!” Kendy yelled, ready to jam her foot right into Joel’s.

He kept hold of her shoulder, knowing it wasn’t at its strongest, even after all these years, hearing it click from scar tissue as he freed one hand to grip the side of her head, bringing her ear to his lips.

“If I didn’t like you…I wouldn’t have followed you that night to make sure you made it to Connecticut’s state line back then, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t have accidentally called Tess your name once while looking at her but not really seeing her, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t picture you when I touch myself, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t have numbed myself out of missing you since you left, I wouldn’t have asked Tommy about you, and I damn sure wouldn’t have thought about you and I with Ellie, the kid, and Sar—on the ride here. like I said, you don’t know.” He then shoved Kendy away from him.

Kendy felt a lump in her throat at Joel saying this. Sure these were his words and it sounded nice, although she didn’t know who this Ellie person was but that didn’t mean he never hurt her and with his back to her now, she tugged on his belt loops, getting him to face her again. She wasted no time, moving her hands to grip the collar of his long-sleeve shirt to bring his lips right to her’s.

Joel hesitated feeling Kendy’s lips against his after all this time. It wasn’t unfamiliar so he was only shook for a second before the desperation settled in. His hands rested on her cheek, then down to her backside, then back up to her cheek, the pad of his thumb touching where her jagged scar ended and the other on the back of her coarse hair.

He tasted the Lambrusco, she tasted his precariousness, his left ear rung as the tip of her tongue traces his bottom lip, and he lets out a groan as a form of a unsaid apology. Until Kendy nipped his bottom lip—hard to the point she drew blood and Joel had to pull back to test his theory.

“Did you just—

Kendy deeply inhaled and exhaled with her lips raw and puffed from the pressure, “I want you gone by the fucking morning, Joel.”

He wiped the blood with his thumb as he watched the woman move around him, snatching up the wine before she made her exit.

Snorting he shook his head at her retreating form and moved to take a seat back on the couch with a exhale. This is what it used to feel like with Kendy leaving his sight after whatever interaction they had but this time felt a little different. There was no way in hell he could say this was a new beginning. He stared up at the ceiling in thought, quite conscious how this all played out and that this was a trial and error—when wasn’t it with the two? However this battle was not something he wanted to entirely give up on just yet.

Not anymore.

He had the time to get it right and part of him wanted to with Kendy.

And if they couldn’t…it’ll be a fair one this time.

No it didn’t make any sense and no this probably wasn’t the healthiest of relationships but Joel was never perfect, the flaws: scars, the bruises that were black, blue and sore, and the blood were okay with him as long as he was doing it with Kendy, he never wanted perfect.

Perhaps fighting, getting it all out into the open field was the answer and you can ask anybody: when has Joel Miller ever been afraid of getting his hands dirty?

And so he sat in the quiet with Kendy upstairs in her bedroom lost in her own thoughts, her back against the door when a crooked grin appeared on his own lips.

Here’s to additionally another round with Kendy Lemelle!

But…Who’s counting?

˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗ ˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗ ˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗ ˗ˏˋ╰┈➤ ´ˎ˗

Continue along with my spring anthology series here.

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wickedslip · 2 months ago

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Nausicaa has a deep-seated hatred and equal fear of witch hunters. Oh, you didn't think those exist anymore? Well let's just dive into it a bit.

There is a cavernous-rooted belief in generational misfortune, passed down the line, and witches are not immune even though they were accepted into society and there are now laws implemented in the US to protect them. (The Witchcraft Act of 1735 was the first set of laws that protected them, and I am sorry but more witch hunters going after them with the reinforced Fraudulent Mediums Act of 1951 just shows that they were being chased back into the shadows.)

As witchcraft passed through generation after generation, there were certain families inhabiting the east coast that also had a legacy. A legacy that stemmed from the very flesh and bone, sinew and beating heart as the hunters that stalked witches as their prey, forever trying to stamp out and eradicate them. Even if they couldn't find a real witch if they fell over one. The idealism behind their aforementioned legacy, their belief in its existence, is what gave them a kind of power. Hatred alone can cause generational strife and discord.

Just as Nausicaa's family owns one of the most potent Books of Shadows known to man and sought after by many a collector (no one has been privy of its exclusive information except the Black familial line of their coven which now belongs to Nausi) it is believed that witch hunters, too, harbor a modern grimoire-like version of the Malleus Maleficarum that teaches them how to find, hunt, torture, prosecute and execute witches, and quite literally giving them a way of getting away with murder.

And who is to say that the local barista wasn't a witch hunter? A professor? The governor? In the old days, It was typically men in a position of power that would go after those they deemed witches. The type to look for were women who were offbeat, or too independent, or wealthy on their own. At least that's how it was done in those days. Men were hunted too, but it wasn't as common as hunting down a woman. This of course was long before they were granted rights of their own.

Witch hunters are real, their legacy is real, and the horrors their ancestors inflicted are just as real as the tales of how the real Salem witches were able to escape. Like what was said, they couldn't find a real witch if they fell over one. The Black familial line holds keys and clues and detailed excerpts on what to do if there is another attack and upsurge of the trials. If history decides to go and repeat itself again.

What the stories don't quite mention is the Black Family has been equally trying to stamp out and abolish all witch hunters. It's eat or be eaten, get them before they get you. And there isn't a better hex than one to heal the hole caused by generational trauma.

#「 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔. ⛧ ❛ speak like bones unlocking. ❜ 」

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cmilesfm · 3 months ago

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miles coates, the character inspiration.

the various bits and pieces that went into the character creation and development behind miles coates. from songs to characters and the general atmosphere of pieces of media, here's what i mustered up.

queen of denmark, john grant ( song ) : the trials and tribulations of modern intimacy. selfishness. what happens when you look into someone else and see yourself and suddenly you can see right through them. the afterburn. crashing and burning, in or out of a relationship. how humiliating it is to be alive.

" i hope i didn't destroy your celebration. or your bat mitzvah, birthday party or your christmas. "

richie jerimovich, the bear ( show ) : offensive charisma. unsure of one's purpose. the punchline of every relative's joke. lack of personal regard.

" uh, the password is 'gofastboatsmojito,' all in one word. "

a little life, various characters ( lit ) : the city where you simultaneously started to make sense of yourself and go fuzzy at the edges. what catching up with college friends looks like at nine in the morning, the overpriced coffee you guys got sucked. old wounds. the painful, adult peer that is impersonal bureaucracy, birthday emails and coupons.

" friendship was witnessing another's slow drip of miseries. "

logan huntzberger, gilmore girls ( show ) : cocky. spawn of east coast upper crust. eyerolling casanova. the weight of parental expectations.

" oh, give me a break. you act like people making connections is something nefarious. "

kendall roy, succession ( show ) : terminal 'it's never going to be you' syndrome. falling asleep on an inflatable... in the pool. it's yourself you're trying to prove it all to. being pushed down at your own birthday party. mood swings. being the worst person you know. the feeling of the city breeze tunneling right through you. faking it. the blue tint of every glass pane in new york.

" i am like a cog built to fit only one machine. "

connell waldron, normal people ( lit. & show ) : where does it all go? immaturity. the double edged sword of habitual bad decisions. introspection.

" most of the time i don't have a clue. "

#bhqtask003 #WE GET IT #he's aimless!#listened to hand covers bruise while doing this #credit in source!

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drifting-pieces-blog-blog · 1 year ago

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Breaking down the comics: The Desert has memory (Issue 22 short)

Alright guys... Back in issue 22, we got another bonus short.

Another TALES OF KHONSHU. Moon Over Alamein. by Alan Zelenetz.

The date is October 1942

The place is Alamein, Egypt.

History lesson time!

This is on the Mediterranean coast and was a the location of a huge decisive battle in 1942 WWII.

This was the beginning of the end of the Axis control in North Africa.

(It is also where the Desert Fox Rommel and Spartan General Montgomery duked it out if you're a buff when it comes to amazing stories of generals and the complicated respect and relationships of generals.)

History lesson aside, we open on a letter:

"Dear Meg,

Well, I'm seeing the front now for sure, I am. Nothing here but the dreary sands of North Africa for hundreds of miles. Rommel can't outflank us because the sea's to the north and there's a salt marsh and cliffs down south of here. So if he wants the canal at suez, he'll have to push straight through our lines. We're not about to let him do that now, are we? Kiss Mum, won't you?

-Ezzie"

Narration: "At night the desert terrain seems to mirror the moonscape above. It is ominous, empty, pocked with craters and hillocks. It is timeless, a mystery."

We see two soldiers out on patrol near a base camp. They are English soldiers.

While on patrol, they come across a cave and decide to investigate.

Following it down, they find a broken down wall that leads them into an old tomb.

Another letter:

"Dear Meg,

...I don't know how to describe it. Thousands of years old. It had clearly been broken into before us, but, still, here we stood after centuries! It runs underground for miles, long tunnels and tomb upon tumb.."

The two soldiers explore the tomb a bit and come across a Khonshu statue.

We have another Khonshu statue everyone! This one absolutely looks different from the one in the previous issue and the one that Marc keeps in Grant's house. (It's also ripped as hell.)

This one is clearly designed to look buff and ready for battle. Possibly to mirror the war that’s been happening in the world above.

Ezzie and his bunkmate Davey are now travelers of the night, out on patrol. With a simple introduction, he now falls under Khonshu’s watch.

"Under the flashlight beam the forbidding figure glistens, silvery white, for the first time in millenia. Who are these men? What do they want of Khonshu, God of the moon? Ancient Guardian of Egypt and preserver of the nile?"

Ah yes, these are tales of Khonshu. Perhaps Khonshu himself is the narrator? He would blowhard himself, wouldn't he?

Davey dismisses the statue and focuses in on the other valuables that would probably fetch them a lot of money.

Ezzie is upset by this idea.

"Hey, come off O'that Davey. Have a pity--We're here to save this land, not spoil it. We aren't the bloomin' Nazis!"

Speaking of the Nazis. We head to East Prussia where Adolf Hidler is scheming his plans.

This is a complete old comic throwback to a caricature of Hidler. He's ugly, malformed, and yelling and going on about astrology and the placement of the full moon.

It reminds me a bit of early Captain America war propaganda style comics.

Hitler is talking about his destiny to rule the world and how he refuses to withdrawal from Africa.

Another letter:

"Dear Meg,

Two years ago the germans were beating the hell out of us, now it's up for grabs. Tonight's the night..."

We see two armies prepping for battle. The English preparing to drive out the Nazi and the Nazi planting mines across the desert.

"Dear Meg,

A thousand guns strong we opened fire on the German positions. The sound of shells was like the rumble of ten thousand drums. Muzzles flashed, mortars sparked, machine guns shattered. Flares exploded in the darkness lit up the battleground bright as day..."

Ezzie suddenly sees the face of Khonshu in the sky, gazing down on the battlefield.

The English prepare to charge but know there are mines waiting for them.

Then, just before the charge, the earth suddenly splits open, setting off all the mines.

The tomb ran below the sands where the mines were buried and, weakened by the bombardment of shells, has collapsed. The mines destroyed, there is now a clear path for the English to tred.

Ezzie pauses for a moment before heading forward as he notices the Statue of Khonshu laying in sand now, tossed up by the broken tomb.

"I guess he WAS on our side after all, Davey!"

A letter in response:

"Dear Ezzie,

Churchill says the Battle of El Alamein is the turning point. We are winning. I am so proud of you,

-Meg"

This short is interesting because of the historical significance of the battle and how much the North African push really affected the outcome of WWII (and how much its' often forgotten about and overlooked).

Also you do have to consider the Nazi occupancy of North Africa and wonder how much damage was done to historical sites and things of the like. How much did the battles damage? How much was lost in the shelled sands?

Then we look at it from the comic side and it's interesting how Khonshu has always chosen sides. How he will pick one person who looks at his statue in interest or with a plea for help and he will go, "Yeah okay." and help them.

How many people before Moon Knight did he consider? And why did he wait to pick Marc? Was it the death and sacrifice that gave him the power to chose him? Or was it the way he could see Jake and Steven and the potential there?

Even now, his favor of Moon Knight over all the other chosen avatars is interesting.

#Moon Knight #Moon Knight comics #Analyzing the comics #Khonshu #This bitch be everywhere #He wasn't always bad

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thisisyourprincipalspeaking · 5 months ago

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I much prefer your point of view as that is exactly how I feel and I love your breath of fresh air approach to it all!

I’m fed up of the team real verses team pr as they are both as crazy and unhinged as each other.

They track flights, stalk him FFS leave him alone no wonder he becomes reclusive when he’s not working.

Imagine having to go to the grocery store or doing errands and you have crazies following your every move.

I even seen one team real crazy bitch (I won’t mention the name) go to Concord looking for them omg is she for real, she needs to read up on the old immigration process. That’s delusional as fuck!

Then you got team pr who bully and ridicule anyone who calls them out, yeah they may know about pr tactics but they don’t know what’s really going on BTS! They act like they do as they have lied all the way along!

I knew something was off by reading his body language as that’s a massive factor people when someone is uncomfortable it sends out so many red flags.

Plus he knows he’s fucked up as have you seen the state of him lately he looks thin, gaunt and high as a kite.

Those that think he looks good need their eyes tested! The boy looks sick 🤒

Well anyone would being associated to a vile POS!

I’m just living my life as these pr bs contracts have an end. Just sit back live outer lives and watch it all blow up as it’s gonna be good the shit slinging as we know it will happen eventually😈

I just see a man who has completely fallen off his pedestal and is interested on how he’s gonna redeem himself.

i'm glad you appreciate my pov and am very flattered to be a breath of fresh air.

while i may (personally) agree with some of your sentiments, this is a wonderful example of separating facts from speculation.

we do not know for a fact:

why people travel to the places they do, or even if they actually have travelled to those destinations. we take for granted that they are telling the truth and do not have any ulterior motives.

how anyone may know about "pr tactics" or who knows anything about what is going on bts. (my guess is that the number of people who know the full truth is very small.)

what anyone's health situation is, whether mental or physical, by just looking at pictures taken and videos recorded while said person is in their work environment.

all we know is:

chris said he got married ---------------------- ok

chris said there were two kinda ceremonies, one on the east coast and one in portugal ---------------------------- ok

chris said his wife is portuguese -------------- ok

we can discuss on how we feel this is different from his previous relationships, how it seems to have impacted his public behavior, and how it seems to have impacted his professional trajectory.

but we must remember which parts of our discussions are based on our observations from the (very little) we're told, how we feel about those observations based on our own experiences, and how that impacts our experiences as fans versus what we know.

thanks for stopping by nonnie, i appreciate it!

#anon asks #chris evans #fandom drama #chris evans fandom #cevans #fandom #chris evans shitshow #this is your principal speaking

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solarpunkani · 2 years ago

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Hi! I love your blog! I live in California and I was wondering if you had any advice on native plants in the warmer areas, or book recommendations on that topic. I have a bit of yard space, but not a lot of time to dedicate to the project.

Hey! Thanks so much, I appreciate the kind words!

I'm not in California (I'm actually way off in the opposite coast, I'm East Coast Floridian lol) but I can do my best with what I've found to be the case for me!

I can confidently say that a lot of native plants grow... kinda slowly, especially from seed. Hell, I've been growing Sandhill milkweed seeds since February, and those suckers still aren't an inch tall all the way into April! You're gonna need patience. Other plants I've heard grow really quickly and can spread fast, so you're gonna want to know which do what and prepare accordingly. In the very least, have a contingency plan for if things get out of control--maybe uprooting and repotting volunteer plants to give away could be a good strategy! Of course, if you're worried about a native plant spreading more than you'd like, you can grow it in a pot!

Either way, the thing about native plants is that they're most likely going to get better with time and care. If something looks really wimpy and sad in year one, in year two it may come back and be a superstar! Sometimes they'll surprise you--I thought a lot of my coreopsis flowers got decimated by snails last year, but this year they're coming back strong, and I've only been planting more of them! With that being said, do try to remember where you planted what--I think I accidentally destroyed my Aquatic Milkweed plant last year digging around to put something else in the ground (though my soil isn't very aquatic in the first place and I'm surprised it survived 2 years).

All that being said, I'm most knowledgeable about native plants in the Florida area (and honestly, the more I poke around on iNaturalist, the more I realize... I barely know anything lol), but! I hope I can provide some resources on California native plants for you to refer to!

I probably don't have to be the one to tell you that California is very big. It has a lot of different climates and growing conditions, so your mileage may vary with any of the sites I give you. But hopefully at least something helps!

Here is a link to the Ojai Valley Land Conservancy's guide to native California wildflowers! It's also downloadable as a PDF! They also have a guide for planting and watering California native plants that may be helpful!

Califlora is a nonprofit database providing information on California native plants, and they seem to also have a growing guide to help you find what plants grow in what area and with what care needs!

The California Native Plant Society will likely be a good resource! They have 36 chapters state-wide, each with their own website, so checking out the chapter that serves your area will likely be a fantastic resource for you! If they're anything like the chapter in my district here in FL, they'll likely have monthly meetings and may even host field trips and plant sales! Pro tip, if they're hosting a plant sale, show up early--I missed out on milkweed because I showed up on time and not 10 minutes early. I am still salty about that, but I regaled the tale on my gardening blog, so I won't bring that here. Here's a page that'll help you find out which chapter serves your area! Their main page also has a tool to help you pick native plants by location and water needs, providing information and tips, and finding nearby nurseries that may have the plants you're looking for! Fingers crossed there's relevant nurseries in your area, my city... doesn't have much.

Across the United States, there's land grant universities that have a mission to make agricultural research accessible to growers in their state, and they'll likely also provide information on native plants as well! To the best of my ability, I think this is the extensions office website for California--the University of California Agriculture and Natural Resources website. I did however find the University of California Cooperative Extension which... is either what I meant to find, or something else, I'm no longer sure. Or is it this site that we need? I don't know what's going on anymore.

SFinBloom is a... group? Team? Pair? That's gotten popular for guerrilla gardening in the San Francisco area (but they'll also travel to other places? I lost track). They sell native seed blends on their website, and have five for California! Which makes sense, since most of the work they do is in California. I haven't tried their Southeast mix any, but they sell seed blends and shakers that one could use for on-the-go seed scattering, but no one's stopping you from buying the seeds and using them in your yard. I'd highly suggest double checking the list to be sure they're all native, which is honestly something I'd recommend when it comes to any seed mix being sold, but feel free to give it a shot! They provide the common name and the Latin name, which in my opinion is always a good sign. They have a very popular Tiktok account you can check out if you feel like it too, and an Instagram!

The California Department of Fish and Wildlife lists resources on California native plants. I've listed some already, and some others I do not have the braincells to check out at the moment.

Regarding books, I think of all my gardening books, I only have 2 that specifically talk about native pollinator plants. One is a purchase from Barnes and Nobles, which was published by the Florida Native Plant Society, so it's extremely Florida-specific. I do also have The Xerces Society Guide to Attracting Native Pollinators: Protecting North America's Bees and Butterflies, which does have a list of Pollinator and Nectar Plants in the back few pages, including a section for California and the Southwest. The rest of the book talks about why you should pollinator garden, special considerations for gardening in different places, and different kinds of native bees so let's be real. Here you go.

Shhhhh don't tell Xerces.

Speaking of native wildflowers, it would be remiss of me not to mention milkweed specifically. It's My One Thing. Milkweed4Monarchs has lists of native milkweeds arranged by state, which is what I've been using lately to recommend species to people. It provides 18 names, but I'll tell you right now, I envy anyone who can grow Heart-leaf milkweed (A. cordifolia) naturally in their region and as such. Please. Do it for me. This site also sells seeds, which I haven't purchased personally but a friend in my gardening server has successfully grown Purple Milkweed (A. purparescens) from this shop and that's honestly a pretty high recommendation in my book.

Asides from that! All I can say is that I hope this is helpful! And if any California gardeners want to chime in with their favorite resources and plant lists/plant sources, by all means go ahead!

#gardening #california #native plants #native gardening #resources #out of queue #ani rambles #answered asks #against-all-0dds #ok im gonna go garden now peace out byeeeeee

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useless-englandfacts · 2 years ago

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In light of all the horrid stuff going on in this country lately, I would just like to remind everyone that england isn’t a totally terrible place!!

This country is full of beautiful architecture, art, literature, and natural beauties that are sometimes hard to believe are real.

This is the Major Oak of Sherwood Forest, and is estimated to be as much as 1100 years old!! It is estimated at 23 tons, and is 33 feet in girth/10 metres. According to local folklore, it is the tree where Robin Hood and his merry men slept when in the forest.

This is Durdle Door, in Dorset. It’s a natural limestone formation on the jurrassic coast, which was deemed “of such international geographic importance” that it was England’s first foray natural World Heritage site with UNESCO in 2001, joining the Grand Canyon and the Great Barrier Reef (visit-dorset.com)

As for architecture, we have the iconic Highclere Castle

Most well known for its use in iconic historical drama Downton Abbey, first written records of the Highclere estate date back to the year 749 when the estate was granted to the bishops of Winchester. In the late 14th century the bishop of Winchester William of Wykeham built himself a palace on the property, and was taken by Edward VI during the reformation in 1551. It was then granted to the Fitzwilliam family, rebuilt in 1679 by then owner Sir Robert Sawyer, who then bequeathed it to his daughter Margaret, first wife to the 8th earl of Pembroke, Thomas herbert, and it remains in the hands of the Herbert family to date, albeit the branch that resulted in the current Earl of Carnarvon. It was redesigned in the years 1842-49 to the facade we know today. (Quick side note, I am directly related to the herbert family through my great grandfather, so carnarvon I’m coming for you watch out)

We also have of course, the ever iconic Chatsworth house

IYKYK. Jk this incredible house is most well known for its use as Pemberley, the Derbyshire residence of Mr Darcy in the 2005 production of Pride and Prejudice (the best film ever made thank you very much).

The Manor of Chetesuorde is listed in the Domesday Book of 1086 as property of the crown in the custody of William de Peverel. Chatsworth ceased to be a large estate until the 15th century when it was purchased by the Leche family. They enclosed the first park and built a house on what is now the south east part of the gardens. The lands were sold in 1549 to Sir William Cavendish, husband of Bess of Hardwick (who was the “keeper” of Mary Queen of Scots while imprisoned. Also apparently her grandson married ANOTHER of my ancestors so I’m related to her too?? What the fuck I need to stop learning family history on the fly). Bess began to build her own home on the property from 1553 to the 1560s.

The home was renovated a truly mindboggling amount of times, as is the amount of times it changed hands. So I’ll keep it simple. A great number of important changes were made by the 4th duke of Devonshire, greatly changing the layout of the home. His son would marry Georgiana Spencer, 4 times great aunt of princess Diana (and YET ANOTHER RELATIVE OF MINE! From another branch of the family!! I need to call my mother. And update my ancestry.com).

In 1811 the 6th duke of Devonshire inherited Chatsworth, and proceeded to transform it into the wonderful beacon of regency romance we know and adore today over the course of his stewardship over the property.

These are only four incredible natural and historical landmarks in England. There are so many more that I could spend 3 life times researching!! (And so many more that have nothing to do with my family history, I promise. Swear I wasn’t doing this on purpose lmao)

This country can be a fucking nightmare, but it’s also a beautiful country with incredible sights and history, and I think we do ourselves a disservice when we forget that. It’s okay to love England (I fucking adore this country you have no idea, wouldn’t be running a blog if I didn’t!), you aren’t a bad person or supporting the bad shit we’ve done if you are proud of being English.

Because don’t get me wrong this country has perpetrated some of the worst shit in history, but we’ve also contributed some of the most important literature and scientific discoveries ever!!

Mary Anning revolutionised the field of paleontology!! Mary Shelley started the entire sci fi genre. Steven hawkin, Charles Darwin, Dorothy Hodgkin and Rosalind franklin discovered DNA! Isaac Newton, William Blake, John Keats, Byron, Alan Turing, Branwell, Charlotte, Emily, and Anne bronte, Dante Gabriel Rossetti, John Everett Millais, John William Waterhouse, to name a few merely off the top of my head!

England can be a wonderful place, and our heritage can be incredible and a legacy to be truly proud of. It would not do to forget, however, that a lot of our history would not have been possible without queer and ethnic minority groups. We all know a good deal of English wealth came from the slave trade, female scientists and artists often had credit for their work stripped from them and given to husbands or even strangers, and a good number of our most influential scientists and artists were very notably queer who were treated incredibly poorly and sometimes killed, and these are facts that can and do exist simultaneously.

Our heritage is wonderful, but it is still being made today. Things that we do now will be landmark events for our descendants, and it is our duty to do better for this country than our ancestors.

#long ass post sorry #I’m In A Mood today #apologies for the absolutely bizarre turn into my family history I genuinely did not expect to be related to like everyone involved in this #i severely underestimated how intertwined the nobility is #I would love to chat with anyone about some fascinating bits of English history they know and am happy to elaborate on anything I possibly #can!#politics #english history #chatsworth house #highclere castle #dorset #sherwood forest #english culture #trans rights #durdle door #can’t tag everything or I’ll be here all day #Admin Roe

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