#grammar!!!!

[myfairkatiecat]

He is and its should be capitalized

(i don’t usually capitalize lol guess who)

Oohooohoo I’m so sorry anon you don’t deserve this but you brought up grammar and it’s one of my FAVORITE things

You’re talking to a rising English major 😉 however I live by the rule that grammar on the internet is different from grammar in both casual AND formal writing. Which is to say. the stylistic choices are different for different impacts

Now I’m going to break down the improper grammar used above and the function it serves in my message:

1) “You’re talking to a rising English major” is a full sentence. However, there is no ending punctuation after it. Instead the emoji is used to join it to the next sentence. This communicates the informality of my message about grammar and adds a tone of lightheartedness.

2) There should be a comma after “however,” and since it is the beginning of a sentence, it should be capitalized as well. I left these out because I am trying to communicate the way I speak in real life to give the effect of speaking to me in conversation! Often, when I’m rushing to get to a point that I’m very excited about, I speak very quickly and sometimes my words even run together!

3) “Which is to say” is a sentence fragment after which I placed a full stop. End punctuation is more jarring than a comma would be, forcing a full regroup in the middle of the sentence. This emphasizes the beginning and ending portions of the same sentence in different ways, because now they are each on different sides of ending punctuation!

4) I chose not to capitalize the continuation of the sentence after the period to communicate that the same thought was continuing, and this had more of the impact I was going for: fluidity of a thought that is communicated in an intentionally disjointed manner.

5) I chose not to end on a period because the thought is not a final one, but one that is left open. In this particular instance, it is because it is still a fragment of disjointed thought leading into a lengthy and intentionally grammatically correct explanation.

Anon: sends silly ask that references the mere existence of grammar

The part of my brain that has been overanalyzing the evolution of internet stylistic improper grammar choices for years: OMG IT’S MY TIME TO SHINE

[andronauts]

tbh, german grammar is so weird.

as someone who’s been learning german for almost a year now, i have to say, german grammar is just so weird…

every language in the world expresses sentences with subjects, verbs and objects. not necessarily in the same order, but they will generally pick an order. english for example uses Subject-Verb-Object (or i’ll say SVO)

I eat food (I - subject, eat - verb, food - object). and this pretty much applies all the time.

other languages might use SOV, or VSO, or any other combination. but german is just. so weird because they don’t follow any one sentence structure at all. they split verbs into two, they rearrange where the verb goes, they put the verbs back together, sometimes it’s at the beginning of the sentence, sometimes it’s at the end. you can have the subject at the start of the sentence, but also you could have the object at the start of the sentence too! why not! for example:

ENG: I’m learning German (SVO), because I have a German boyfriend. (SVO)

nice, simple! subject verb object all around :).

now let’s look at the german translation for this same sentence!

GER: ich lerne Deutsch (SVO), weil ich einen deutschen Freund habe (SOV).

because of the connective WEIL we now have to put the VERB at the end of the sentence.

this is true for other connectives too (ie. wenn)

okay, so wenn (in eng, “when”/“if”) puts the verb at the end so lets see an example of that

ENG: when I eat chocolate (SVO), I am happy (SVO)

oh that’s lovely :) yay! SVO and SVO! its just so simple. now let’s look jn german

GER: wenn ich Schokolade esse (SOV), bin ich glücklich (VSO)

oh so now BIN (in eng, “am”) is at the start? oh… okay I guess!

if we swap the english sentences around, the sentence becomes “I am happy, when I eat chocolate”, which generally means the same thing as the original sentence.

however, if we swap the sentences around in German, it becomes a question. ,“bin ich glücklich, wenn ich Schokolade esse?” since the verb is at the beginning of the sentence, we are now posing a question. “am I happy, when I eat chocolate?” instead.

if we wanted to retain the same meaning, we go back to SVO to become “ich bin glücklich, wenn ich Schokolade esse.”

and now for the last example is that you can swap around Object and Subject in the sentence order and it will make sense and mean the same thing as well?

ENG: I am cooking sausage (SVO)

GER: ich koche Würstchen (SVO)

GER: Würstchen koche ich (OVS)

however if u did that in english it would just be “sausage is cooking me” or “sausage is cooking I” which doesn’t really make any sense at all and you sound crazy. but no, it’s completely valid and normal to just swap word order in German because. you just can?

and I haven’t even talked about split verbs or sentences with two+ verbs yet (I want to eat chocolate) where in english, both the verbs still remain in the SVO sentence structure. but in german it’s just a whole other set of rules to wrap your head around (ich will Schokolade essen) where ich is I - subject, will - “want” (verb), Schokolade is the object (chocolate), and essen is the second verb (to eat). like ? it’s just at the end of the sentence now? literally no other language does this I think

in general most languages will pick one order but german is just so damn weird bc they just switch it up whenever they want just becuz okay german and dont even get me started on split and reflexive verbs 🤦🏻

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[stafsar]

my muse and I

[sabertoothwalrus]

get him a ouppy!!!!!

[stingrayextraordinaire]

Another year, another group of my delightful ninth graders trying to spell the word "tragedy" for their Romeo and Juliet assignment.

Last year's collection

[shovson]

sports is really like is this 16 year old we abducted from his schooling the next coming of christ

[littlemizzlinguistics]

Studying linguistics is actually so wonderful because when you explain youth slang to older professors, instead of complaining about how "your generation can't speak right/ you're butchering the language" they light up and go “really? That’s so wonderful! What an innovative construction! Isn't language wonderful?"

[prokopetz]

The worst thing about formal English is that it offers these wonderful suffixes, then only lets you use them in prescribed circumstances. I should be able to describe things as meatful or leftly or falsewise without departing from the formal register if I darn well please.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Being neurodivergent is just having a Demicolon attached to every single sentence that comes out of your mouth.

For those who don't know what a Demicolon is:

[fox-and-the-hound]

What if Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy swapped cutie-marks, but their personalities stayed the same?

[smallidarityfan]

bro let the thoughts win

[squareofshape]

i don't care how neat a program is or how much it might improve my life. if it sneaks its way into my computer on top of a regular software update like some kind of fucking digital deer tick, it's a delete on sight. kill kill kill. nobody but ME decides what programs get installed on MY computer. fuck all the way off

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[the-californicationist]

i cant stop thinking about laying your head on jonathan price's furry belly after he's made you come so hard that you almost passed out, feeling him breathe in long, heady drags of his cigar, too cock-drunk to nag him about smoking in bed. and how the sheets would just barely be covering his half-hard prick, girthy and fat and soaked in both of your sticky fluids, smelling like sex and leaking all over his skin. and how he would know that you were staring at it, and he'd peel back the sheets just a little bit, letting his drooling head peek out from underneath, purposefully pulsing it right under your nose, teasing you with it, trying to get you to lick him clean. and maybe his free hand starts petting your hair, moving it out of your face, running his huge palm over your forehead just so sweetly and innocently. and maybe you lean forward a bit because, you know, it's right there, and he's being so careful with you. and maybe you barely plant a soft kiss on his tip, still wet and sensitive and swollen, and all of his salty come rubs off onto your lips like gloss, making them slip and slide as you suckle as gently as you can across his cockhead. and the sound that he makes when you finally take him into your mouth is just a perfect, gravelly purr.

[wolfythewitch]

I know how people's interpretation of Odysseus and Athena's relationship is somewhat toxic but parental, but I like to think of him as her weird pet